I'd shine up the old brown shoes, I'd put on a brand-new shirt
Rated t (pretty much just for the penis talk here hahaha) // 3,565 words
“No, I need, like-“ Eddie sighs so hard it almost sounds like static. “I need… guy help. Will you just come over?”
“Are you-” Buck turns away from Natalia and kind of hunches over the phone, making his voice quieter. “Are you having a penis problem?”
“What?” Buck’s never heard Eddie that high pitched. Loud, too, enough that Buck yanks the phone away from his ear and Natalia snorts with barely contained laughter behind him. When he brings the phone back in, Eddie is making a lot of blustery sounds, which Buck waits out until he finds words again. “Wh- No! No, I don’t have- I’m not having a ‘penis problem,’ Buck!”
Buck shrugs at the air in front of him. “Okay, Eddie, you’re the one who’s hiding in a bathroom and said you needed my ‘guy help,’ what was th-”
“Oh my god, Buck, I need relationship advice, okay!”
—
Chris is going on his first date. Eddie calls Buck for backup.
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Usopp wants to make a cake for Sanji's birthday so he begs him to stay away from the kitchen for a while. Go read with Robin. Hang out with Luffy. Play with Chopper. Sunbathe with Nami. Whatever. As long as he doesn't come into the kitchen.
To say he's afraid would be an understatement. He has seen Usopp cooking and he isn't bad. Just... Average person skills. He can boil water, unlike some others (cof cof mosshead and Luffy cof cof) but baking a cake is entirely different. Sanji is scared for his boyfriend's safety and his kitchen. Mostly his kitchen.
He just waits next to the door until it's done, unable to even rest because the thought of what could be happening inside scares the shit out of him. He really, really wants to take a look inside but he's being respectful of his boyfriend's wishes. But God, if he messes up...
But he??? He doesn't???
The cake turns out extremely good. Borderline surprising. Astonishing. Sanji can't even speak. Okay, maybe it isn't perfect and maybe Sanji would've changed some stuff but- But it's perfect for him and it's well-made and it isn't average because it's obvious it's made with so, so much love and care.
"Where- Where the hell did you learn to do this?" Sanji needs to ask this because there is no way Usopp managed to make this without any prior experience. "I didn't teach you this." And the thought of another cook teaching Usopp how to bake a cake makes him shiver with jealousy.
Usopp smiles proudly, pointing a finger to his chest. "Well, did I ever tell you I used to be the most fam-" Sanji raises an eyebrow at him, knowing it's obviously a lie, and Usopp sighs, lowering his shoulders. He laughs at his own behavior. "Sorry, but I did bake a lot of cakes when I was a kid. My mom couldn't get out of bed, but she wanted to celebrate anyway and we didn't have much money to buy one, so... I made my own. Also made Kaya's when she was sick." But he doesn't look sad about it... Just nostalgic.
Sanji kisses him. Out of nowhere and tasting his sugary lips he used to taste the cake. When they move away, Usopp blushing uncontrollably, Sanji hums. "Is it- is it good? Do you like it?" The sniper asks, a bit too nervously keeping in mind his prior confidence.
"The kiss or the cake?" Sanji smirks.
"The cake, obviously."
"Perfect." He kisses him again. "You, the cake, your kisses. Always sweet and perfect."
And Sanji thinks he will let Usopp bake his next birthday cake. And the next. And the next. If it means he will be able to taste it on his lips every time.
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in an ayato mood after i got him on a single pull :)
here are some thoughts that have been floating around
// tw ; unhealthy power dynamics, manipulation, toxic relationships, financial abuse, baby trapping
yan! ayato who is enamored with ayaka's close friend, even more interesting if his darling is cozying up to ayaka for personal gain ; how long will you keep up your nice facade? ayaka is a sweet kind girl, she may be fooled but nothing truly escapes ayato's gaze
continuing on that idea, let us say kamisato ayaka isn't as naive as you thought ; she finds your efforts to cater to her adorable & makes no comment as you dote on her every need. her position leaves her quite lonely so don't let your pretty eyes stray from her for a second
it's a dangerous combo of power wealth & status, you've been dancing in their palms the entire time and it's best you don't try to leave, least they need to shackle you physically
yan! ayato as a modern day ceo with an investigator darling. there is corruption in the inazuman tri commission and it's your goal to bring light to their unsavory business methods. this fits well with a person who has been wronged by the yashiro commission ; perhaps someone was in the wrong place at the wrong time. ayato originally sees no reason to get involved as the shuumatsuban can clean up loose ends, yet he might have to take you more seriously when you apply to be his secretary. you have no evidence against ayato and he's found it quite amusing to dangle evidence just to destroy it completely. he's not sure why he's still keeping you around but your admiration is amusing and the despair that paints your face with every dead end is too delicious to ignore. don't even think of resigning, have you forgotten the agreement you signed before starting?
yan! toxic boyfriend ayato :)
ayato is a person who works behind the scenes at all times, you didn't get the job you wanted? that's just too bad. someone beat you to the new apartment you wanted to move to? no worries you can move in with your loving boyfriend who has enough money to support both of you. you got pregnant despite using birth control? you don't need to worry about anything ayato will always be here for you.
yan! ayato with a spy darling ; he's always known who you were, an informant for a rival clan. to keep you close he passes on falsified information so that eventually your clan will think you've betrayed them ; you've been forced into a corner, begging ayato for mercy and protection from your family. you aren't aware there's truly no need for protection, the moment your clan had planned to silence you was the moment they ceased to exist.
yan! ayato with a childhood friend darling. regardless if you don't remember playing with him and his sister in chinju forest, he still remembers your promise to marry him under the sacred sakura all those years ago.
yan! faceless ayato inspired by michiru ichijou from mieruko-chan. you can see his true appearance and he can't help but spiral into obsession!! ( this concept will be a fic btw )
yan! ayato with a fake marriage!! you suggest it to get out of an unsavory relationship, adding kamisato to your name would make you untouchable. you haven't realized you walked straight into a trap ; ayato has always desired you and now that you're legally binded there is no escape. bonus points if this is set in a historical isekai setting.
"you wouldn't be confessing such feelings if you didn't believe all cards are in your hand, what exactly are you plotting sir kamisato?" the strained smile you were holding had already started to twitch, "if this is some sort of joke i don't find it very funny."
"i'm quite glad my spouse is already aware of how i think, i'm sure we both know my desires for you aren't in jest songbird," ayato smirks, his eyes swirled with an emotion you didn't want to identify, "i'm not interested in ending our marriage, surely you are aware of our differences?"
he didn't need to spell it out. with his wealth and influence escape would be nigh impossible.
"you, how much of this have you planned?" you don't actually want to know, the feeling of helplessness had already sunk into your bones.
ayato just offers you a smile. in all your time working alongside him, you'd seen countless of his rehearsed smiles. chills shot down your spine, you'd never seen such a genuine expression on his face.
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[Image description: 7 stills from the anime “Natsume’s Book of Friends” featuring the character Matoba Seiji with tumblr text posts edited in.
Image 1: Matoba smirks and side-eyes an offscreen Natsume and Natori in a dark cave. The text post is by tumblr user sulkings and reads ":) (threateningly)"
Image 2: Matoba sips tea while sitting across from Natsume at a low table in his estate in the Eastern Forest. Text post by ChewyPussy reads "arent you tired of your current issues? don't you want new problems"
Image 3: A shot from above of Natsume lying on the floor unconscious as Matoba and two of his henchmen loom over him. Text post by TheirMajestyFang reads "Contrary to popular belief, I do not approve of senseless violence. I only approve of very sensible and rational violence, which is all the violence that my buddies and I specifically commit"
Image 4: A teenage Matoba smirks slightly after shooting an arrow to banish a youkai that several other exorcists had failed to banish. Text post by notdestinym reads "sometimes I think I'm better than everyone else but then I remember I am"
Image 5: Matoba stands in the background holding his bow as Nyanko-sensei (in his larger form) lies in the foreground with an arrow sticking out of him. Text post by BuckyKingOfMemes reads "you call it 'a heinous violation of legal and ethical rules,' i call it 'creative problem-solving'"
Image 6: Matoba stands in front of the dungeon in which he's had Natsume imprisoned. His eyes are closed and he's making a mudra with one hand while reciting a spell to torture a youkai as Natsume begs him to stop. Text post by kalichnikov reads "im not gonna release your soul from my magic gem. so stop asking"
Image 7: Matoba smiles at an offscreen Natsume he has kidnapped and tied up. Text post by LH-78 reads "smile… it confuses people."
/end ID]
[guy who doesn't want to have to share his pastries with anyone voice] do you want some food? it's not poisoned /_^
natsuyuu characters as text posts 2/?
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