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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #me on the first post:#its not a liveblog!#me this time: it kinda is. but not in the same format as my tmm one #i like doing one post for a handful of eps bc it saves time #and crowds my blog less #and also i just like talking abt what im watching lol #dp thoughts

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zed-36 · 3 years

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@ 18: the questions weren't actually that strict! you could interpret them however you liked :) that said, im curious what you would add to the story? i love reading ur ideas and interpretations of the characters n stuff!

oh no prob, i did enjoy thinking of what i could change without adding anything new (i will talk too much if i dont contain myself) BUT since you have asked...

ill share these ideas as a general change to the series as a whole (WR and Acceleracers- also i will call Acceleracers AC for short if i need to).

There is a lot i feel needs to change- but two major points are lore (and direction of it in the story) and characters.

The lore of the series is all weird due to what changed between WR and AC, but its also too surface level. its for kids, its probably why its not so expansive. but it does leave a lot of confusion to me and while i would have to spend much more time to fully “rebuild” the world, i will give some ideas on what i would see changed.

One, at least making it make sense all the way through. i think Acceleracers had the best ideas but it shouldve been expanded on in WR- WR barely touched on actual Acceleron lore. Overall i would like to see the Accelerons 100% remade from the ground up. i LOVE aliens and alien society but i feel all we know of them is they race. and thats its. and sadly AC wasnt seen through to where we may have seen a bit more. but they need to be redone, with lore also point to exactly why the drones woke up when they did, what their drive is, etc. Why is Gelorum the way she is too, very important lor aside from characters. I wouldnt want the series to become a huge Lore Dump but there are moments where they intended to drop lore and they just. dont really do that, at least not well. Imagining the series with more extensive lore would obviously see it being longer than what it is, which i think makes sense. in the end if i was to properly write out all lore it would be a huge rebuild of 1) the Accelerons as an alien society, in depth 2) the full origins of the Drones/Gelorums (how they ended up where they did, what makes them how they are now and 3) a more cohesive plotting of events that would lead to lore revealed. also developing what “Scrim” and “clyp” were, along with the actual depth of Silencerz and how far back they go has been on my mind a lot. scrim and clyp just vanish from lore but in my headcanon backstory for Gelorum, i mention how those things existed too. if anyone has more specific questions on lore tho i can answer those individually! its just a lot to go over lol.

The characters though, oh god where do i start. not gonna touch on every individual (feel free to ask about someone and how i would rewrite them/change them), but theres a lot i would want to see different.

Theres some good ideas in the series that are just not explored much, or the actions dont feel like they have impacts. And many characters have literally zero backstory to go off of... Everyone needs at least some kinda origin in mind, doesnt have to be said but knowing where they come from is one key detail that i think is nice to drop some times. characters referncing locations, where they went, etc... its little but its good to have. In the WR comics, most of these characters do have origins! but theyre completely forgotten in the movies it seems. it would have been cool it WR tied together some of these ‘really good drivers’ and maybe they were in the same races together or something. there are 35 people and none of them seem to know each other at least not in detail- other than Vert and Alec who are clearly friends. Kurt Wylde was written to have done some “illegal” modifications in a race, what is someone there knew him? what if it brought up tension/suspicions? Things like that, its all part of where they come from and its a shame the movies just dont connect them very well.

I think theres some specific characters i will give examples to ‘rewrtiting’ and most of it is AC focused!

Kurt & Markie..... i love them, really do! but after WR i just did not like where they went. i get it, kinda ironic for Markie to become such an opposite. buuuut it was a bit much to me. first off, i would actually expand on the “crime” and that would 100% change the outcome of the two. the period between WR and AC shouldve gone different and in turn, i think wouldve changed up MM and Teku completely! i want to imagine Kurt is trying to get away from bad habits after WR but, perhaps has a really good deal with someone who had also gotten him into illegal car part business in the past. he is tempted and ropes Markie in with the idea they could do so more secretly but are caught, and while Markie is nervous and young he spills all the beans, but none of that evidence goes to Kurt and he stays silent, managing to get out of it. However instead of Kurt going to Teku and Markie going to MM.... Kurt tries to join Teku in the idea of joining a less rowdy gang, but Vert believes full Kurt let his brother take all the blame- so they dont allow him in. He goes for MM, which takes him easily but this team’s energy really doesnt help him. In turn, Markie leaves jail and Vert is swift to allow Markie into Teku because theyre friends! and it helps keep Markie in a better place, not wanting to get back into bad stuff. The important thing is tho, this switch up wouldnt result in super harcore, asshole Kurt. i feel like instead, he would be in an awkward place of wanting to improve himself but MM’s rebellious attitude coaxes him into worse attitudes. AND... very much an oppurtunity for Gelorum to manipulate him once more, as the accelechargers are much more important to acquire, with multiple, we’d loop back again. in the end though! i could imagine the story would still bring in the same scenario- Markie gets taken by drones, Kurt saves him, they rekindle and Kurt also comes to realize he shouldnt give in to the ways he used to practice.

i think for AC, in order to find more interest in the characters, a switch up with the teams would be neat. Markie and Kur swapping was always on my mind, but i have thought about Teku!Taro. I think it would’ve been cool to throw in an background guy from WR into MM... like Harrison Lau. some more familiar faces would bring interesting dyanmics considering their backgrounds. and it think it wouldve fleshed out the teams a bit more in places they lacked.

Another thing i think is clear is there is lots of unexplored potential. Like dyanmics i express with Markie, characters like Lani, Karma, Tork, etc... oh there is so much i would add for them. Karma has a weird thing with being mentioned to look like Gelorum, and her prefectionism too but it was never touched on. What if it caused conflict? What if it made her question their morals? Or with Tork- i would honestly just rewrite how he tackles Tone’s death and the resolution, that whole thing in movie was weird and messy and made no sense to me imo. Lanu had something going for her but she felt so disconnected from the WR characters in AC, which is a shame! oh there are so many to go over lol. i hope to tackle some of these loose ends in the fics i have in mind but yeah... there is so much to say about changing these characters!!

#headcanon #theory #wr #acceleracers #hot wheels #tomiyeee

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lifeofalaurie · 6 years

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my uwc story

i remember reading through uwc blogs when i had just found out about uwc and when i was applying and going through all those months of WAITING for the next step...and they were so helpful. im so glad these exist

i first found out uwc through my brother’s friend, who actually went to UWC atlantic college (where im headed!!!!) a few years back. it was one ordinary saturday afternoon (idk if it was actually saturday but that sounds right) and we were carpooling with said friend (usually i dont participate in these but i happened to be in the car that day) and we were talking about next year and whatever and she just kinda said that she wasn’t going to be back next year bc she was going to this ‘abroad’ program. i didnt even really think about it that much. i in fact forgot about it after that...apparently my dad did not.

so my dad would talk about it here and there but i was NOT INTERESTED for that whole year..then...i started researching a bit myself and thought oh this sounds kind of cool. i still didn't really get what UWC even was or if was even a legit thing. it just sounded like another boarding school (a huge NO for me). then i saw that there was a such thing as a “short program” (or maybe someone actually told me about it) and i decided to apply for the one at the USA campus in New Mexico. i remember writing the essays over winter break and thinking they were pretty terrible (there was also a skype interview involved and that was rough) so i was pretty shocked when i found out i had gotten in but it worked out well bc my fam was going to arizona anyway a week before that so i just flew to new mexico myself after that (i say that casually but we had to cancel tickets and get new ones so that i could go to new mexico instead of home PLUS i had to fly for myself for the first time and i was pretty confused). (also, the program is called global leadership forum or GLF)

after hermit’s peak hike (ALL UPHILL FOR A SOLID 4-5 HOURS) i think it was like 8 miles IDK. view was so nice though 10/10

GLF turned out to be an amazing experience and really solidified my trust in UWC and confirmed to me that it was indeed a real thing. i really loved how much we did in those 2 and half weeks or so - camping, hiking, interacting w wolves, having important discussions - and it really pushed me to decide to apply to UWC for real. maybe ill talk more about it in another post!!!!

ok so coming home i did even more research and really really started liking UWC and decided that i might as well try to apply. i knew they never had a certain ‘criteria’ for students but i also knew it was a long and stressful process and involved really digging deep so i really didn’t think much of it (didn’t think i really had a chance) after submitting my written application. and then began the long waiting game...

here’s a nice picture of the sky @ a wolf reservation! just wanted to add a nice pic

i never joined any of those fb groups or college confidential things for applicants and good thing bc looking at some of them now stress me out so i wouldve probably been even more stressed if i had been involved in that. also i didnt even know they existed until later so thats also probably why.

anyway i had totally forgotten about UWC (more like i was sure they’d forgotten about me or there had been something wrong like my application wasn’t submitted or something) bc i didnt hear back until the end of november (i submitted the application early october). but finding out i was a semifinalist was kind of traumatic bc in my GLF snapchat group one of my friends (who’s going to Pearson this year!!!) said he’d moved on to the next stage and i hadn’t GOTTEN ANY EMAIL. i think i just accepted it that that was the end. but then a few hours passed when i finally decided to check a different email and, alas, there it was. so a few days later, i got an email from my interviewer when we should do our skype interview and it turned out to be the same day i was taking the ACT. good

the interview turned out to be completely ok and actually really great (enjoyable even!!?). if youre at that stage, seriously the best advice i have is to just chill and be honest when youre answering. also, make it more like a conversation rather than the interviewers (yes there are prob going to be more than 1 but i assure u its ok) asking u questions back and forth. think of it as a conversation- that helped me so much to relax. the interviewers just wants to talk to you and find out what kind of person you are and if youre the same one that wrote all those deep meaningful essays from the written application - so if you were honest from the start youll be completely fine...if not, well..sry

after that, school and extracurriculars and life really went up for me and i just forgot about UWC again. i never really told any of my friends about it or anyone except for my parents. i kind of wanted it to be a personal thing- get in or not in the end.

after a really good last day of school before winter break, i went to the town library (lol) and checked my phone and therE IT WAS. I WAS A FINALIST WHICH MEANT I WOULD BE GOING TO THE UWC USA CAMPUS FOR FINALIST WEEKEND. did not know what to expect

waiting for finalist weekend felt looooong

but it came

i flew there myself AND IT WASNT EVEN DIRECT and i remember feeling so independent and proud for making it. it turned out i was one of the later ones and in the last group to be bussed over (but i met a friend on the bus who i still talk to here and there who is going to RBC this yr!!). we were so late we missed the initial meeting and first night of activities and just went straight to the hotel. at the hotel i saw my interviewer and she gave me a hug (<3) and that helped calm me down and it was also really nice to see her in person bc i remember really liking her during our skype interview. then finalist weekend happened. and im pretty sure im not supposed to expose the process so all i can say was that it was actually so genuinely fun and a real good time

UWC USA <3

at the end we all exchanged social media and fb and all that and started a messenger group chat -- as nice as it was to be able to connect to everyone, i think it really stressed everyone out. they told us that results would come out early that week (FALSE). THAT WEEK AFTER FINALIST WEEKEND WAS THE MOST STRESSFUL THING EVER. IT TOOK YEARS FOR IT TO GO BY. i remember constantly checking my email between classes and everyone in the group chat wondering if anyone had heard. then on wed night, we all got an email that said the results would be notified by friday instead. the worst

i remember that friday evening i was packing for my first hackathon (it was fun) and thinking the call wouldnt come until later that night. people were freaking out all over the group chat. then, as i was scrambling packing my sweatpants into my bag, the home phone started ringing and i ran..RAN TO THE PHONE. it said my interviewer’s name on the caller ID and i was like OK THIS I S REAL. and i picked it up and it turned out i was too late so i frantically called back probably 10 times on multiple different phones (my efforts did not work). but then, i got a call to the home phone again and it was her so i picked up RIGHT AWAY and when she told me... i kid you not that i screamed and ran around my house a few times. so thats it. it was kind of a really long and sstressful process for sure, but SOO WORTH IT. i definitely learned a lot just from that process bc it makes you think and reflect a lot all throughout. weeee

if youre even thinking about applying please GO FOR IT (well as long as ur in the right age limit, 16-18.... and also make sure you’ve done some research to get a feel for it).. but just DO IT. and u can ask me questions if u want and ill answer to the best of my personal ability (but remember that im just one person and one experience and each person’s experience is completely different)

here is the general website btw:

https://www.uwc.org/

i will probably do another post to explain UWC - at least in my own words and perspective!

<3 <3 <3

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plasticgguk-blog · 6 years

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bts sexuality thoughts

important ! these are just my opinions and i do not intend to out any member of bts nor assume they are straight. this is my thoughts and what i have picked up. as a bisexual girl myself, i also do not intend to stereotype or prejudge a whole sexuality group whether it is bisexual, gay, lesbian, straight or anything else. thank you.

seokjin

i think jin is straight. despite the kissing of the androgynous statue in the blood sweat and tears mv (5.22 minutes in) and in the 2016 MAMA performance, along with taehyung, and his cute and occasional flamboyant behaviour, i think he is quite traditional. as oldest brother, i find his cuddly touches and tendency to have skinship with his members, just friendly and supportive and perhaps glues a stronger bond between them. i feel he is very supportive towards the lgbt+ community as he is also known to love fan boys and include them as equally as fan girls. i feel if a member were to come out to him he wouldn't mind, maybe even joke about it but to conclude this analysis, i think jin is straight, and one of his dreams is to settle down one day.

yoongi (suga)

oooh boy. min yoongi. where do we start? strap in guys, this is going to be a long one. well, i think it is pretty safe to say that yoongi is either one of three: bisexual, asexual or genuinely doesnt care about gender at all. from the lyrics, famously known from cypher pt. 3 : "As you know, my voice will turn you on, whether it’s a guy or girl, my tongue will make you come." or the interview where yoongi claims "I focus on personality and atmosphere. I don’t have an ideal type and it’s not limited to a girl." however, in the recent 2018 season greetings, the members were giving future prediction cards and each read others and revealed their name. in yoongis card it quoted "you will have a stable family with a safe and stable life" (in korea, that is considered straight couple marriage with kids) and even yoongi couldnt believe that (he kept glancing at his card afterwards). yoongi is generally not the one for skinship (a couple of years ago he was) but he does have his adorable moments. he is quite blunt and I would feel like he would come out calmly, but it is hard to come out in the rapping world, nevermind korean society. he is very attached to hoseok. this might be a connection or a friendship built on understanding eachother as hoseok is quite often brought up in question of his sexuality. i dont think yoongi will come out soon but i very much believe he is bisexual and quite open to anything.

hoseok (jhope)

well.. hoseok is actually confusing. i dont believe he is gay, nor do i believe he is straight. he is perhaps bisexual. he does act flamboyant and camp but that isnt what adds up to ones sexuality. recently, in the love yourself her comeback, hoseok has been a personification of an actual rainbow, from the rainbow clothing and from the optimistic attitude which some speculate his sexuality. hoseok loves to to reinact girl group dances, cuddle his members and occasionally tease them, for example dance upon them. i think he has gotten more comfortable with his flamboyancy and is generally happy and content the way he acts. i dont think hoseok will officially come out, but will come out through having a boyfriend or doing something with a male.

namjoon (rm)

if you asked me 3 years ago if namjoon was gay, i wouldve laughed because, who hasn't heard of 'expensive girl'? however, namjoon has been subtly dropping hints throughout the years and very much more specifically during this comeback, that he may be bisexual or even gay. throughout the years he shown support and love to the lgbt+ community. tweeting support and love for the song 'same love' by macklemore in 2013, claiming that he loved the song before he knew the meaning, and now he knew the meaning of it (homosexuality) he loves it twice as much. it is known that namjoon also contributed to writing lyrics for kpop girl group : glam' s song 'party xxo'. for those who don't know this song, it is all about same sex love between two women with lyrics like "Can I kiss ya baby girl?". more recently, namjoon has been more open, for example, in blood sweat and tears mv he quoted from a book called 'damien' "he too is a tempter" (the full bst era was very gender neutral). namjoon also stated in interviews explaining the meaning behind 'love yourself her' that it isn't just about love between a man and a woman. he also stated in a different interview that "we dont have girlfriends or boyfriends". he also isnt shy to complimenting the members profoundly (especially jimin). namjoon is very adamant about including gender neutral pronouns and equality. people say he is too supportive to be an ally, thus for questioning if he is gay or bisexual. i think he is bisexual, and much like yoongi, doesn't care. i dont expect a coming out soon but if he did in the next few days, i wouldn't be surprised.

jimin

jimin is hard to speculate. i believe he is straight, although there are possibilities of being bisexual. he is known to be very kind to his members and sharing skinship, especially between him, jungkook and taehyung which can be questioned sometimes. jimin is very cute, and easily likeable yet influenced. he constantly loves to be praised and looks up to those who impress him and gush over them (usually males) for example, in the L O V E photoshoot video (bangtan bomb) he was stating fellow member namjoon was always sexy, cool and was impressed and in bon voyage season 2 he was gushing over the pilot and is like bangtans baby. however, jimin is very sexy too, and has bdsm symbols associated with him like blindfold's (bst era) and those buckled things that stretch around your chest and thus gives an submissive vibe. jimin can also be shipped with anyone in bts because he is so lovely yet flirty. im sure in saying that he has probably made at least every straight male or gay female question their sexuality at least once, and jimin for sure knows he has that affect on people. this means i believe he may be bisexual or straight, but with a preference to girls.

taehyung (v)

i think taehyung is straight. he can be questioned of his sexuality with his support and love for gay artists and their music, but he can be seen as an ally. he, jungkook and jimin are very comfortable with eachother and i believe that that is just friendliness and love for his brothers. however, taehyung is seen to have a gucci phonecase with a rainbow flag emitting from a spaceship (jeffree star, a openly gay makeup influencer also owns) and the boy loves his fashion and style, however this can just be put down as a passion for fashion. in the early, debut days, taehyung was shy yet very bubbly and loved his hyungs and jungkook, and acting flamboyant too, however recently he is more mature. this makes it hard to read his sexuality so my guess is that he is straight BUT there can be an opportunity that he is gay or bisexual.

jungkook

my guesses is that jungkook is straight. although he has a passionate love for troye sivan (openly gay music artist whose music is mainly about same sex couples) i think despite that, he hasn't really done anything more to further question his sexuality. i think his shyness with girls is all got to do with pre-debut and debut jungkook, as he was so young and so new to his music career he didn't really have time to explore his sexuality. as for every member, there are possibilities of being gay or bisexual, and just because you don't show signs or throw it others faces, doesn't mean you are less of those who are openly gay or straight or bisexual. a reminder that unfortunately in korean society, being gay is looked down upon and can face horrible consequences (being shun from fans, companies, advertisers, friends, family) so in no way should they feel pressured to come out to fans or expose their personal life because they are humans first, celebrites later.

#bts gay #bts lgbt #namjoon #jin #jungkook #v #taehyung #jhope #hoseok #sope #suga #yoongi #bts #bangtan #bangtan boys #bts sexuality #namjin #vkook #jikook #vmin #loveyourself

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youraapple · 4 years

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Imagine having a family member that keeps having different variations of stories about having terminal illness. It's so wrong.

Whom I feel is such a compulsive liar. Constantly bending the truth. Losing tracks of time frames and believes her own lies, that when someone says, just stop with the stories. She becomes defensive and spews derogatory things trying to hurt the other person.

Her and I had a falling out again. It's quite big. It maybe something we never get past.

I think she's a manipulative, compulsive liar. Who's very self centered. So I started to get quite annoyed of her attitude, presence, and demeanor, when she comes over to my house 5-6 times a week! With the stay at home order, and not having any minute or second to myself, it wasn't helping my sanity. Cabin fever is real. I would prepare food for my kids and hers. I love my nephew so I don't mind, but my thoughts are, why doesn't she put some effort to do it sometimes?! You know. Then I would play with all the kids. While she lay in another room on the phone. Like get off your phone and do your motherly duties and don't just come here and unload it unto me! I have enough as it is. Would be nice if she would offer to watch the kids so I can have a breather. Nope, it's me feeding kids, supervising kids, cleaning after kids. I'm going insane. Jealous of their freedom and upset at the unwillingness to help out. I bottle it inside for months! And I finally popped and it wasn't pretty. I've said things like maybe you should love your kid more and be nice and play with him. I've thought maybe if she stayed home and made an effort with her bf and son and have quality time, MAYBE they'd have a chance of being happy together. I told her, I can't keep up with all the different stories. Saying she had a terminal illness is not a joke. Its sick! I blew the hell up. Did it feel Great saying how I felt, yes! Did it feel great making my mom sad? NO! Am I also upset at my mom for never realizing she is the biggest instagater between my siblings and I? Heck yes! She stays with one for awhile, & keep tabs of things she doesn't like & bottles it up inside, then she goes to another one of her kid's house and talks shit about the other ones. And that cycle repeats. She will say all their flaws and wrongs and when we get mad at the other one, she says, "why don't you guys love one another?" She say that we don't speak kind, SHE doesn't speak kind! She never said I love you. Yes, I know typical for Asian fam. But she gave her life to support all of us Eben till now, when we're all in our 30s. Still,I'm just saying, If she doesn't want my sisters and I to fight, then why does she add fuel to the fire? Why doesn't she try to deescslate the situation? Address the ones in wrong in private. Nope, she adds to the rage.. And then goes into I'm disowning you. I don't want to see your face even when I die. Like wow that's intense, you wouldve thought that I said something like go die to my mom to make her that mad, but of course I didn't say that! My sister sure did though. She said that to my mom before & as a full grown, grownup. And my mom still didn't even react like that towards my sister then. BUT, because I can't get along with my sister cause she comes over 5-6 times a week and doesn't help out and lies all the time. CONDEMN me for stirring up the pace! I made a snarky remark that " there's always something with my sister " it was enough for my mom to say she can't stand that we don't get along & she don't want to see me even on her death bed?!!? Like what the actual fuck? Also my mom slammed things saying it's because I don't eat the food she cooks. I eat it many days in a row sometimes I skip a day and eat something else and go back to it. Wtf is going on?! Is that even a sensible reason to get upset about though? Why not just sit me down and say, I'd be happy if you ate more of my food. I'm always supposed to be the bigger person. Stay quiet reserve the peace. Fuck the fucking peace. I blew up and let it all out and now everyone is mad at me?!? Instead of self checking themselves. And I have a mom that doesn't want to see me or talk to me cause I'm annoyed of my siblings. Anyways who would want to have someone over 5-6 times a week? Whether its family or friends?!? Also one That never helps out and is full of shit??!?

And I still say sorry for it all repeatedly ! For my comments that hurt their feelings and stirring up the peace! Not one of them will take accountability for anything or say sorry either. But constantly text "whatever fuck you this and that. What ever about your Lupas" like wow...

Does my sis have an evil heart, sometimes I truly believe so. But when I really sit down and think about it. She can be mean & vindictive person but, Maybe she's just been very hurt, and has become petty because she has gone through a shit ton of things. But still who hasn't? And, the terminal illness lies is way too extreme and way wrong. No excuses. Also it's still not an excuse to treat people shitty.

I'm not perfect. So who am I to judge? Shouldn't I look for the best in people? I should try harder! What if I know when they lie to my face? I should just let it go, because it is their own conscious.! I gotta keep tellin myself that! Everyone is coping in their own way in this pandemic. Some want to be near family, as do I, SOMETIMES. And, sometimes, I want time in solitude even from my kids! Usually I can let's things go. But I just couldn't anymore. I haven't worked in 4 months. I probably won't have a job to go back to. I don't know what I'm going to do. I have no time to myself, ever. I sometimes criticize my family because of my ocd and complain a lot. I need to change and stop doing that. Accept that my house will never be tidy lol Complaining is for the weak! Criticizing does not help and definitely doesn't show love. I need to continue to speak kindly even when I'm tired, annoyed, and lied to. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I need to give more praises and compliments to family and friends. I need to ask them how they are more often. I need to have compassion even through differences. I should probably stop being a helicopter mom. And tell my kids they are smart, they are beautiful, they are loved, they are Capable, & they are enough to brighten my world. Just like my hubbie. Whom has been there for me through all pain, suffering, & heart ache. I put him through hell with my post partum depression. He never gave up on me even when I did many times.

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

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Episode 12 | “Beauty got problems and Brawn got problems”- Autumn

wow. just wow. i sure did just do that and im so proud. i proved to myself im a deserving winner tonight. i will fight to the death to get my allies to the end because lets be real i sure am not making it KJSDFLASFLA.

i was going to start this confessional out in a celebratory tone but YOU KNOW WHAT I STILL AM BECAUSE WE JUST DID THAT. I typically like to be my own biggest hater and drag myself in my confessionals a lot just as a way to clock myself and try to see the other perspective, but BITCH I KNOW I SNAPPED THIS ROUND AND IF YOU DONT THINK I DID LEMME HIT YOU WITH SOME FACTS; FACT: I CORRECTLY USED MY ADVANTAGE AND WON IMMUNITY DURING WHAT WAS A PERTINENT ROUND https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif FACT: UPON FINDING OUT I HAD IMMUNITY I KNOW DEVON WAS COMING TO ME TRYING TO KEEP ME UNDER HIS WING, OH YEAH ADAM, JUST VOTE IN THE MINORITY, AND GO ALONG WITH BEING AT THE BOTTOM, AND IT WAS M E DECIDING I DIDNT WANT TO DO THAT AND SPILLING THE TEA THAT LED TO GETTING AN OUTCOME I WANTED https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif FACT: it was ME who also went to autumn/ali and started planting seeds of doubt in their minds about jake and it's turning out it's helped me solidify my position with them better https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif FACT: It's also still me who's aligned with 2 or 3, if you include jake, of the biggest targets left in the game and i already have augusto and amir sliding in my pms trying to play pity me boo hoo hoo like gorl plea im not buying it but yall wanna keep singing kumbaya? well ill sing the encore and be twice as fake as yall (i DO love them both as people just as a disclaimer but from a game perspective? they're beasts!) https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif ok, boasting over, time to hop off cloud nine and get back to reality because FACT: we all just made a big move, so the target on all of us, including myself, just went up, FACT: i could easily be delusional and maybe i had NOTHING to do with this blindside SJDFA but lemme bask in my fake glory anyway itll be funny to read after at least... FACT: The war has truly only just begun, that was a great victory but if me/ali/autumn are really in it like we're saying, we may still have another idol on our side, but we're gonna need more than that, it's kinda funny we're one brain, one brawn, one beauty and i think that speaks volumes i truly love these gals and think this is a good game route for me. some people might think it's foolish of me to align with the big threats and go deep with them, but who's to say im not worthy of being in their company? if it wasnt for my social connection with devon he wouldve never told me the plan, and then autumn is the smart one so she kept us composed and together, and then ali was the brawn he had the idol and got the job done. So im gonna just try and stick with this for now, hopefully they feel the same and dont try to oust me right away because then ill look like a whole fool and a half OOP, and ill plaster my fake smiles on for everyone else and kiki it up we can haha hehe all day long but i wont hesitate to vote them out because trust and believe.

Last Day 30 was my last day playing TS: Guyana, so this is a nice feeling to still be here. But now the fun kicks in. Jakey helped orchestrate the Devon blindside with the Ali idol, so I guess we're even. And now, assuming Jakey is still actually with me, which I think he is, I think we can run this game for the longrun. He has access to Ali, Autumn, and Adam and I have access to the three Beauties. I truly see this being beneficial for the both of us in terms of keeping one another safe and allowing us to get to the final six unharmed. Final six is important for me. I'm not sure if I've admitted this in an earlier confessional or not, but I have the Legacy Advantage (thank you Jordan Pines!) that I can use at six. So I just need to survive two more tribals. If I can do that, I have a seat in the final five, probably two more rounds to survive before getting to FTC, and then I have a shot. I really need to start building a resume if I want to win this game, but I think I have a chance. I really need to get Ali and Autumn out in these next three rounds. If I can do that, I see myself being able to make the end with the likes of Jakey, Kendall, Augusto, and maybe Adam (Amir will become a threat at five or six I think) and then I have at least a shot at the win, but I really need to keep my head down, keep the social game going, and make a move or two here.

so. i think i have some explaining to do JKLASDFA huh? i was on calls for the like three hours before tribal so i didn't really confess at all.. in fact i think in my last confessional i said that we were voting 4-3-3 which did not happen at all so i think i need to fill in some gaps huh? so... i have known since like 11pm EST yesterday that i was getting votes tonight. devon told, adam told me and then told autumn, but then autumn didn't want to tell me until later in the day which i honestly do think was fair so we weren't spiralling for hours. we were all sus of jake all day (and lowkey i still am?)... like i dont know when his energy because so shady, plus devon may have told adam that jake was in on the plan? plus he kept saying stuff like the vote has gone "back to kendall" and kept pushing me not to play the idol... something does not add up right with that. anyway so that demonic group of five voted for me, and lied SO much to make me leave with my idol? like why not just make me paranoid, leak the vote to adam or jake then vote autumn get me to waste an idol and then autumn leaves? now that would've been a good move hello?! but that group does not know how to blindside, idols have sabotaged their plans twice and amir/augusto should consider themselves lucky that they are still in the game. also kendall fought me at tribal because i was being cocky... but she literally tried to blindside me into leaving with an idol hello?! i appreciate that she thought she was going, but she is zero to too much way too quick. augusto can literally suck my ass our call was him and his bad excuse for jury management, like can he at least be like amir and pretend to want to work with me? anyway so moving forwards, i wanna vote out kendall or augusto this round. amir can stick around because he at least pretends to wanna work with me plus he is a threat too. idek i just want all the fake people in this tribe gone. i will not vote for adam, autumn or jake. i will vote for any of the others, im not fussed about the order in which i do so. im living on borrowed time in this game and im going to make it count

Sorry this is two parts I thought my friend was gonna die lol but she's fine. Remember kids, there's no dick worth dying over and a straight guy rejecting you is a blessing in disguise these days (considering the alternatives).

Now on with the show hahaha

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1-AkqQGDYzlccP1VFwpPNo-aCQPFmoj9Z https://drive.google.com/open?id=1bVcBqq0JL2-ybgTiS2vOrYURbCG0kIxh

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thots on final 8: augusto: would cut me to win, literal love of my life, super kind and empathetic and genuinely good person, i think his social game is fire and i think he has a way with people, and downplays how smart and cutthroat he really is constantly, but i love the kid so much ali: the brit has to die ali again: okay im kidding i like him a lot but tbh hes a smart fucking guy, i think hes super cool and and also a badass with that idol play, hes a force but he has to go soon autumn: lana stan, coolest girl around, queen of the social game, queen of likability, queen of controlling rounds and letting others take the hit, a damn threat, she could win this game tj: sweetheart, we need each other in the game rn, i need need need to secure his loyalty adam: hes kinda crazy but he has a good heart, kinda just following ali and autumn rn, not gonna win in the end kendall: i have a soft spot for this crackhead, she deserves the world, probably cant win at the end but im happy i met her, shes on my side and a vote i can use moving forward jakey: love him to death would die 4 him, would beat me in the end and at immunities also the fact that kendall augusto and i are all still here is so fucking funny, like bitch how kejwnfkewjnfkejnwfkjnewkfnewk cockroaches

So numbers on surface Jakey - adam - autumn - Ali Kendall - Amir - Augusto - tj Round 5: Adam - Ali - autumn Amir - kendall - Augusto In the middle: jakey - tj So I just have to work on them

when i tell you ive been hooting and hollering what the fuck is going on in the survivor on this day, who the hell would've thought id win my third individual immunity in one season, gorl that is probably the most 2020 thing to happen in this game. although two of them pretty much were dumb luck afdjks either that or maybe im doing a little better than i think i truly dont know, and the touchy subjects clocked me on THAT as; what was it they said, 'the person they forget is in the game' and also 'least aware of their place' okay well yes im AWARE ive BEEN lost and asking for help this whole game gorl! But that's great, that's how i want people to view me, because uh... i just won 3 of these things now and that alone is reason to target me, granted im doing my best to play it up like dont worry! im just a dumb dumb! and clearly theyre eating that up like crazy, because it's both just the truth but also strategy if i keep playing it up, so watch out meryl, adam's in town! also LOVE that i knew i was gonna get most likely to have the idol i dont know how many times i have to say it IM INNOCENT AND BEING FRAMED FOR A FOOL and ooh dont even get me started on all the other tea it spilled, i actually got the LEAST of the bad things, i guess i kinda exposed myself because i made most of my chops at amir, augusto, and tj oop, so they probably didnt like that but they really left me no choice strategically, screw with me, i screw back, simple as that. As far as the vote too ummm.....it's been quiet tonight on my end so hope that doesnt make me a fool because this time last vote was a disaster, at this point im still thinking i need to stick with ali and autumn because this vote is so pertinent, after this a solid 4 can take it, or get as far as we can because im always keeping my options open OOP, but for the most part i do want to stay true to my good judys for now, but i know someone between amir/augusto/kendall has an idol and if they were smart theyd use it this round, so i need to convince the others of this because im sure its gonna happen since they dont think ali has one anymore hopefully but who knows, if it were up to me we'd vote augusto or tj this vote. I think amir has the idol and i think he's going to play it for himself this round or i could see augusto playing it for him, so if i can make anyone belive that very realistic scenario, we can get one of the ones theyd least expect just to ensure us the numbers for next round, but what do i know, they just forget im in the game anyway! so hopefully tomorrow someone tries to give me the tea and we get a plan together or else i spilled all the tea last round for nothing which is worst case scenerio

yesterday was a lot. I went an apology tour to everyone involved in my blindside and honestly it was annoying. the fact that augusto basically got me to apologise to him on our call when he blindsided me was irritating, like he just let me sit there and take fault when the point of the call was for him to take accountability. talking to him is like talking to 2018 me, he has such social ability, but he just takes zero accountability and is just so infuriatingly wishy-washy. he is all of my worst attributes as a player rolled into one. i also... almost won immunity? which is crazy, but I just found yesterday and the way immunity played out so frustrating, but I've spoken about it enough in my host chat enough. just know i feel robbed, slighted and if I get rocked out this round when i should have immunity. i will throw a fuss again SAJDKFLAS. anyway so this vote is gonna be a mess. tj and autumn now have a blood feud, Kendall and jake came to a head this round. so that's four people whose name i hopefully am not their number #1 target, plus i don't think adam is targetting me? but this vote is going to be a mess, because it very very easily could be 4-4, where there is an idol on both sides of the trench. i have a gut feeling amir and his sock puppets are going to vote autumn. it makes sense, tj wants her gone and the beauties need him reeled in. so i think im going to have to idol autumn, but that is risky because if the 4 vote jake... im going to rocks, and if they vote me, im reliant on jake going to rocks. but i just wanna send all these people backing, especially augusto. amir i'm trying to shake him that me and him have to stick together, but i also could vote for him. i literally just want to make F7 and to vote someone who just voted me out. that is literally all i want. if i go home i will be literally devastated

So like… there’s the dream and there’s the harsh reality which is something this round really talk me. The dream is obviously me winning, making all these big moves, and doing THAT. However, my reality? Could very well be that people don’t see me as a winner at all and it makes me a little disappointed but I gotta prove them all wrong. The vote last round being Ali was honestly mostly my doing and I’m proud of that. My ideal boot order is Autumn/Ali then Jakey then Autumn/Ali and that is GOING to happen because I’m putting that into the universe. When it comes to Autumn and Ali, I would rather Ali go but I think the safest bet while still having a target leave would be Autumn. In a way too, I do know Amir wants Ali out moreso alongside Jakey but I wanna separate my game from Amir so yeah. Also Adam calling me a fake ass bitch even tho my drunk ass was telling him I liked him was a gag… but oh well.. Nothing grinds my gears more than people thinking I’m not being genuine with how I feel towards them but if that’s what he thinks, maybe that’s what he’ll get idk… i feel petty and mad for some reason over it… BUT ANYWAY, I just want to survive this vote. I hope Kendall doesn’t go but she also said she wants me to win over Amir so yay?

If I die, I just wanna say I regret nothing and I have full confidence that the right person will win this season. So not TJ, Augusto, or Amir lmaaaaooo. Amir entering the two time winner chat??? Over my dead fucking body. If there's one thing Imma do it's poison a jury

Ali or Autumn... who shall we vote? Stay tuned!

Is Jess really Canadian... stay tuned!

god. today is gonna be another nailbiter and i want to confess first. so the plan is to idol autumn and vote out kendall, which sucks because i do now like kendall. i just think its the safest way of avoiding them playing an idol i guess, i don't even know. i just am sick of fighting in this game every single round me and autumn have had to fight to make it past. the fact jake is throwing a fit in my pms becuase im not idoling him is infuriating because... i'd love to idol myself? like? anyway im over it. if i go home, i hope tj can finally stop his blind fixation on autumn and i, that augusto can actually be accountable for one entire thing, amir can stop his pity party and show awareness for his threat level and that kendall... well actually kendall is fine. i just feel like im a mum trying to get all my kids to fit in a minivan and to put their seatbelts on, like can they get it together.

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I don’t think anyone is ready for this round or at least what’ll come of it... I’m expecting an explosion or a mess given Jakey thinks he’s staying, TJ has been lied to, and hopefully Autumn or Adam leave next... its all a mess. If Jakey goes, I’m planning a 2-2-2 split between Autumn and Adam where we maybe get Autumn out but Adam leaving doesn’t hurt either.

me with biggest villian, biggest backstabber, thinks they are running the game, is running the game, and is gonna win at the end http://prntscr.com/ss4h5q

literally god demolished and brutalized worse than anyone in this game tonight in that touchy subjects yet I’m also the one comforting like half the tribe over their answers even tho I ADKWNWQJN WAS ATTACKT LIKE this cast literally thinks im a psychopath fjebwfjenkn but im not gonna play victim over my superlatives i just have to use this target on my back strategically

I want destruction AHHHHHHHHHHhhHhHhHhHhHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay so, they think me or Augusto have the idol, so they can vote kendall, to ensure our idol isn’t played and that me and Augusto and tj are forced into rocks, and im just like trying to get everyone to stop replying to ali cuz hes smart and he will psychoanalyze and figure out who to play the idol on and like he has to play it on autumn and not himself so pls pls pls kkjnkjenfs let this work

#BackWithVengeance

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years

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sometimes the wild thing with depression is looking back and trying to figure out when it started and never really being able to draw a line for anything like "this was the earliest age it All Began(tm)," probably because there's not generally such an On-Off Switch type process to it. i know usually circa ten yrs old or later in the teens is usually what people point to but sometimes more of a period of exacerbation rather than origin, and who can say it's not also having the emotional and psychological capabilities and capacities that young children don't that bring a greater sense of perspective and awareness, idk anyways so i'm not sure if i was ever not-depressed or anything....i know i was always uncomfortable outside what was familiar and "shy" and i know that as soon as i was around other kids in a way more socially organized than running around together, namely preschool at 4 yrs old, i was aware of not feeling like i fit in and noticing i couldnt make friends like other people could. ive been good at bs-ing school from the start and happen to pick up things very quickly so even though i probably had the same habits as kids with the worst grades and had no particular ambitions re: academia (beyond avoiding parental wrath and later maintaining the identity that kinda protected me a bit in school) since i got really good grades and was quiet and pretty much just read in a corner when left to myself from kindergarten through middle school, i was probably considered a usually ideal student. i remember a couple of people who i felt i was genuinely friends with, a kid named michael who i think went to a different school after a couple of grades, and a kid named jacqueline in 2nd grade who was like me so quiet in retrospect i'm not sure if she knew much english but we played legos together and stuff but then we got in trouble for not paying attention during not even a lesson but i had to move seats b/c arbitrary Making An Example and since we were both so quiet we just didnt interact much anymore to avoid further attention. i made other friends technically but generally it took a long time to be comfortable with them and we were never close and in the meantime i dont think i ever much liked school. i remember one random sunday evening just getting upset about not wanting to go back the next day just because it was boring and meantime at home of course it sucked but i didnt quite realize it til i was older and it helped of course being young enough to be able to go outside for hours and be perfectly entertained playing in the dirt and trees and stuff. i read a lot at home too i remember having pretty skeptical thoughts about Life from earlyish on but, besides spending a crap ton of time just in my own head (reading, playing in dirt) i think i had ideas that life and the world was pretty amazing. like earlier on of course it was like "is magic real??" but then later its just stuff like reading in books about how kids had good friends and families and got to pursue their interests and do things and work out drama and have nice endings with a lot of hope for the future. for all i could tell the only thing keeping that from being my life was that i wasnt old enough, or probably i hoped that it was just a matter of time. it was less like i was extrapolating from my own limited observations of the worse aspects of life that life must be great and more like i was already noticing that my world was lacking and just hoping that it would grow out of it; not to mention being given the hint that stuff like abuse was my own fault and shortcomings i started getting more aware of being fed up with things / that they weren't inherently going to change around like late elementary school / middle school but it would take another year or two to really get the extent of it, and in the meantime by 14 or 15 at the latest i was consciously suicidal so like, moving fast there. i probably by that point had already caught on to the fact that my world had just been kind of shitty and that it wasnt going to change or seem better after a certain amount of time like i'd thought it would. and then add also having a better understanding of the rest of the world just by being older and getting more experience and realizing that its a lot more chaotic than initially taught to you and that being depressed and having developed few interests and zero ambitions and having antagonistic parents and very few friends doesnt do much to give you as much a cushion from that chaos as it could tangent: honestly i like programs that teach instructors how to recognize things that look like Behavior Issues as maybe more being signs of external issues. i wasnt the best at paying attention and i was often quiet in school whether in class or not and it mightve been a problem if i didnt get good grades but since i did i could just be in the background. i don't particularly resent this or anything because i know how teaching is and i myself didnt really understand i had serious problems at home until much later, but in retrospect i think i always had signs. i remember one particular incident when i was about 8 really shouldve been a bit of a warning sign. i know nobody can really do anything even if they know things are bad but considering i had to learn what abuse looked like by myself and i didnt feel supported by any adult and even when i knew what was going on when i was much older i still just didnt tell anyone in any position of authority because i had learned i had to protect myself by keeping personal things totally confidential and that if i exhibited any signs of struggling i would be blamed and chastised for it. wouldve been nice to at least be informed what was going on at an earlier time and maybe given some sense of confidence or at least a sense it wasn't completely my fault. turns out what gave me any ounce of confidence at all was being like 19 and being so blamed and maligned that it backfired and i started feeling like if i was as awful as i was made out to be then surely i didnt need to feel ashamed and responsible for everything that was being done to me. if i already deserved to be dead then what more could i bring on myself by daring to be so terrible as to feel i shouldnt be treated like i was! checkmate atheists anyhow, i feel like my Good Concepts About The World kind of evolved from "later on everyone has adventures" to "later on everyone goes to middle school / high school and makes friends and bonds with their family and follows their dreams" to something just more vaguely escapist with abstracted ideas about simply feeling comfortable and nice, with maybe general imagery, usually like summer sunsets or just some nice stars or something. i thought about it once and it made a lot of sense, thinking about stuff in terms of the concept of feeling ok and good things existing in the world and being able to sense it despite it also being at a distance or otherwise removed like dont get me wrong just because i wanna be dead i dont have some kind of notion that everyone else's experience of life is the same as mine i.e. that life and/or the world is inherently shit, i know its no more objectively bad than it is objectively good. i still like to think about the good side of all of it. i think its a total mistake to have the idea that if someone is suicidal or even just depressed that it necessarily has anything to do with what they think of the philosophy of the concept of Life, its more personal and immediate than that. honestly i hate all the advice about how you need to write a poem for your suicidal friend to teach them the magic of life or do some otherwise melodramatic bad y.a. novel shit that'll give them a New Perspective on the wonders of life literally overnight. not only is it always disgustingly patronizing and often counterproductively Tough Love-esque but also totally like unrelated to the root of the problem of "what if i'm worried about a friend making a suicide attempt." if you're personally wanting to do something i s2g literally just provide a distraction. talk about random shit or play online scrabble or go over and make midnight snacks, not like set a flower on fire while dropping a porcelain teapot on the floor and lecturing them about how this Doesnt Solve Any Problems or is a permanent solution to a temporary problem like no. just be a distraction jfc and dont insult anyone by generalizing their experience and guessing at what's probably an extremely complex and personal matter and turning it into empty clichés anyways: this was the longest way to get to the idea that isnt it wild when, like how you can Hear a sound in your head and despite recreating it decently its different from actually hearing it externally, you can sometimes remember what it was like to feel nice about the concept of life? i cant really summon earlier things but sometimes i can remember flashes of having those later sad-person-in-their-own-head moments of thinking of distant abstract concepts like seeing the sky as a medium for connection to the infinite experiences of humanity, and i can get like the equivalent of a visual image of a recreated feeling from back when i still had a few lingering overly-optimistic notions that things would be good soon. don't get me wrong, again im still aware of the good things in life and i still have good experiences and still feel good feelings. but i dont harbor expectations that the course of life must and will average itself out or lean towards improvement for any reason, like knowing that good things happening to you out of the blue is the same as how terrible things can happen for exactly the same reason—namely no reason at all. so i just dont have the same feelings i used to about my own personal life, and i dont feel the things i used to when i hoped it still could be Only A Matter Of Time. so its wild when for some reason i mentally stumble on the memory of having those feelings and theyre still recent enough that i get a moment of recreating the feeling like i do when i can picture something in my head, and its totally different and dissonant than what's currently true for me. it wasn't a more accurate perspective to think that life being bad meant it had to improve, but its obviously a nicer feeling. and it sounds like overused to the point of meaningless comparison but its like getting your head above water for a second in terms of the momentary contrast of sensation tldr its wild when you depressioning 24/7 and dead inside and have an instant of remembering What It Was Like To Feel Things

#long post ///////

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theperkiestnobody · 7 years

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Blah blah

Idunnoo bout y'all but lately Facebook has decided to have a bunch of videos up on my dashboard about relationships and what not and it just kinda has been a floating thought in my mind what with me being in my first serious relationship ever and almost hitting the year mark and iunno maybe I'm just kinda sick and tired of just seeing like "the 4 different personalities" and "what you should avoid before thinking about getting married" and all this other horseshit so I'mma rant

TL;DR don't worry you'll find someone someday

So lemme tell y'all a lil something something, around this time last year, I was on the fence about getting back into dating after Everett had asked if he could be my boyfriend and I could be his girlfriend. Why? Because after a couple of years dating dinguses, idiots and fucktards, I needed a break from it all. It wasn't good that my "first" boyfriend straight up didn't talk to me for weeks prior to breaking up with me then the next idiot that followed tried breaking up with me through text message and basically told me I wasn't worth he emotional investment. And it didn't help I lost a sense of who I was while dating them. Like I basically did everything a good girlfriend was supposed to do so why didnt we stay together? Probably because I was just conveinent. And when I stopped being that, they just wanted me gone. Afterwards I just had a series of unfortunate hookups, one night stands which led to my first encounter with a fuck boy and my first consideration of having a friend with benefits. And I hated both. I can't blame the fwb guy because honestly I get it. Been hurt too many times, you aren't looking for someone whose decently attractive you want someone super attractive and whatever bullshit and it was really my fault for trying to change it to a different outcome. So after him, I was done. I just decided for myself that if I really wanna dress all nice and what not, fuck man I'll take myself out on dates. I'll buy myself that expensive ass food and I'll tell myself I'm worth it cause no one else fuckin would and if they did they just legit wanted me in bed with them. So 🤷🤷 whatever right?

I continued on, going to school, trying to hang out with friends and spend some quality roommate/housemate time. Tried figuring out this on your own away from home situation (literally a year after I moved out from my folks) while working at best buy. And lo and behold, this super excited, tall goofy fourteen year old (he's actually twenty three pero like he looks fuckin fourteen) looking white boy that legit runs up to me in his new blue uniform asking me where tf some stupid ass Samsung TV was. Mind you at the time he was starting as the Samsung experience expert while I was just your average merchandiser, working there for almost half a year, making things look pretty and I was always running around the store like a woman on a mission and had zero time trying to help coworkers and customers look for something specific. But I'm too nice of a person and I try to help however I can and I asked him if he bothered to look in our system to see if it is noted we have it in stock (which A++ for him he did before asking me). And I don't remember when I started having feelings for him all I remembered was that it kinda hurt when I figured he didn't have any for me. And i remember when it happened.

See the best buy we both worked at is located near a college town so the vast majority of the employees are college students just trying to pay off whatever debt and there was this one girl, we'll call her Sandy, who got hired right after her best friend which both were known to throw the wildest parties which I've probably been invited to once but never again since I don't drink. And I've never hated her or anything, I mean Sandy is a pretty nice person and though she's fucking nuts and will black out drunk twice a week, she helped me out when i was basically on the last straw with the fwb guy and helped me by making sure I was surrounded by friends so I didn't have to feel like I had to go back to hanging out with him because I was just so desperately lonely for company. and when Everett started working there, he got along with everyone to the point that they all knew him as that hyperactive kid who'll always put a smile on your face..and eventually they started hanging out and I knew that for one, I shouldn't be trying to date co-workers let alone look into dating cause I just started trying to get to know myself and two, there's really no way that I ever attract anyone, especially people like him. So I just kind of went about my days there till he eventually came up to me and talked to me. We had just small chatter here and there. Then eventually it became more than that. He knew that the guy working as a "security" guard employed by best buy was my housemate at the time and got into a conversation about going night hiking to which he asked me about it. I said I'd love to go and he quickly wrote down his number, gave it to me right before our general manager asked what the fuck we were doing in which I fuckin lied for him and I fuckin texted him, planned it and we went on a fucking night hike and talked to each other about literally everything personal. He knew every single thing about me in those three hours we spent by ourselves together and afterwards, I'm absolutely pretty sure he gave me compliments not just to compliment me but to also hit on me seeing as how he fell for me...and what happened afterwards was a series of him showing up to my apartment (which at the time wasn't too far from best buy) just so he could see me (IN MY FUCKIN PJAYS IF I MAY ADD), him asking about me around the store because literally everyone kind of knew who I was but just by character and not name, and eventually leading towards our "first date" which ended up going on till 3am cause of late dinner with friends and then him coming over the next day to watch a movie and play cards and that's when he asked me if he could have my lips and be mine and he waited till I was ready. He waited patiently for me to say yes, waited for me to be okay and ready to have sex with him and has been nothing but just a total sweetheart and always there for me when I needed him

And lemme tell you we aren't your generic couple either. We both have our mental illness. Some days are way better than others and maybe one day we'll finally be okay. And I also didn't wait till I moved in with him. Sure, I had my own life with my own things and I still do things on my own...but I also take into consideration what his feelings are and if he's okay with it and if he isn't we talk about it. I moved in with him maybe four or five months into our relationship because it just wasn't okay for me to live in my apartment any more due to it's conditions and what not and yeah, we're both living with his parents and theyre okay with it but honestly, we take care of each other. We push each other and all this jazz and it's all because I just ...I just said yes. I went into this relationship with both of us knowing what kind of baggage I have. I went into it slightly thinking he'll dump me after three months or he'll get tired of me...and now, I wake up to his cute little face and sleep with one of us wrapped around the others arms and I know there's a future with us. And yeah, if I were to have told my past self that after Kyle and Jon dump you you'll find someone youll be madly in love with through work, I wouldve asked what kinda drugs am I on for this kind of optimism. So honestly, yeah, you're gonna find someone someday. Even if that someone is you.

#aperkynobody #long post #super long post #relationships #love

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ecotone99 · 5 years

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[SF]Aberration: Ruue (unedited)

About six years ago he showed up at the university I was attending in the great city of New Orleans. I don't really remember anyone knowing too much about him at first. He was new is all, and kind of just appeared out of no where. I only ever saw him in the courtyard in the middle of the school always doing something random like lazily playing a guitar, or bouncing a hacky sack. The kind of stuff that begged for attention but no one ever actually wanted to pay him any. He always looked like he was ready to give the most perfect answer to any question anyone would ask him. He held himself with confidence. The only thing is that the busy student life never permitted anyone to muster up the courage to talk to him. At first I thought he was attending. After some time passed and he was only ever in the courtyard I came to the conclusion that he was one of those people that lived close by and just hung out around campus because he didn't have any friends or anything better to do. Late one Wednesday night I found myself outside walking back to my dorm after spending too much time at my friends place drinking and playing video games. Our finals were over earlier than most students so we didn't have much to worry about except waking up for class the next morning while everyone else was still stressing over studying for tests. The peculiar part was when I walked across the grassy courtyard I saw him. He was still sitting off in the corner. This time laying on his back staring at the sky with a cigarette in his mouth. In my drunken state I finally decided to ask him his name. Stumbling over myself but not with any less courage I watched him blow smoke out of his mouth without even taking the cigarette out. "Whats your name?" I think I said, probably slurring a little bit. For the first time I saw this guy make actual contact with another human being by acknowledging my prescence. Without moving anything except his neck and eyes he looked at me lazily then continued to look at the sky. There was about a five second pause between my question and him saying, "Im Ruue" I wasn't sure if Ruue wanted anything to do with me and if I werent drunk I probably wouldve then said goobye and went on my way, but instead I just laid next to him. I looked at the sky for a minute or two. You couldnt see any stars. It was just a pale black up there, but Ruue seemed like he could see something so I asked, "What are we looking for Ruue?" Another pause, "Nothin man... I'm just really high..." Ruue knew I was drunk. I wasnt expecting him to say that and honestly I think he said it just to throw me off but after a slight hesitation we both burst out in laughter, laughing at our selves laughing at each other and laughing at the fact that there were no stars in the sky. That night Ruue told me a hard to believe story about how he woke up one day in a dorm room without knowing how he had gotten there or why he was there. He spent a few days in the room before even exiting and discovered the campus. He explained how the courtyard had the most flow of traffic and he waited every day for someone to approach him because obviously there had to be a reason he was here. If anyone was going to find him it would be in this courtyard. I asked him if I was the person he was supposed to be meeting but he didn't know. The only way he could tell is "If time begins moving forward again." I had no clue what he was on about but I felt like there was a meaning behind what he said, he just didnt even know it yet. That night we shared a blunt and went up to my dorm room, a tiny little flat with enough space for a single bed and a person to lay on the floor. I insisted he sleep in the bed after begging him to stay the night, but he wouldnt have it. We stayed up and talked for hours. He told me about the vague memories he had of his home and his roommates. The girl he loved. I told him about cliché college stuff like final exams and girls I'd never get. I wasnt sure about his intentions with me but when we finally began resting our heads I reached my hand up from the floor where I was laying and I gently grabbed his. He didnt recoil. I was happy. The next week consisted of us spending almost all of our time together. Eventually he got bored of the courtyard and joined me for my final couple of classes. That week was surreal. All the otherstudents had left. My friends bid me farewell for the break and went home to their families. Me and Ruue stayed together for the break. The school became an empty shell with us as its playthings. The peculiar night happened next. The one I'll never forget, solely because of the look of pure horror on Ruue's face that's painted in my memory until the day I die. We were still fresh and enjoying each others company. There was so much more I didnt know about him, but we were doing our routine for the past week's nights. We left the cafeteria with fattening snacks and shitty drinks, to sit at what I liked to call our picnic table in the courtyard. If I had known what was going to happen next I wouldnt have made such a connection. I wouldnt have ruined the memory of that school for myself for eternity. I wouldnt have even made eye contact with what seemed like this precious soul. But lo the following took place. A thunderous explosion and great blue light took place behind us in the center of the grassy field. My initial thought was lighting had struck but as my vision came to I saw several people standing in the spot of the explosion. There were about twelve men dressed in all black looking almost like a swat team but there were no letters on any of their uniforms. Directly in the middle of the men stood a woman. I remember her bright purple hair and long white trench coat. The most frightening bit was that all of the people who had miracioulsly appeared before us were each holding a gun. The men each had an assualt rifle and the woman in the middle held a handgun. All of which were pointed immediately in our direction. The entire scene illuminated by the dim hallogenic lights of the courtyard at night. The moment Ruue turned around and witnessed this phenomenon I could hear him say, "Here we go" I looked at him and asked, "What is that? What's going on?" I suddenly became concerned. Ruue then turned to me and said with big eyes, "I'm sorry, but the truth is you're not the reason I was brought here. Please. Please!" he begged me. "Do not cry. I have very much enjoyed our time together." When Ruue said that I became even more concerned and also frightened. I said hastely, "What is going on?" but before he could say another word the woman with purple hair was directly behind him and iterjected. "Ruue. You're not supposed to be here. I know this probably wasnt you're fault but there was a slip up and well, we have to fix it. Ruue then pleaded in a way I hadnt known him. "Please" he said. "I wont change anything. Its going to be alright." More questions flooded my head but no one was even looking at me. The woman grabbed Ruue by his arm very easily I might add. He was lanky. I couldn't imagine much muscle on him but he still struggled fruitlessly. His efforts did nothing as she began dragging him towards the other men. I jumped across the picnic table and screamed, "Hey!" At this time two of the armed men in black came towards me pointing their guns at my face. "This doesnt concern you young man. If I were you I'd get very far away from here quite soon." One of them had said in a strong voice. There wasnt much I could do. I asked what they were doing with Ruue but the other man then screamed for my silence and slammed the butt of his gun into my jaw. I felt several of my teeth fall out as I hit the ground but I kept my consciousness. Blood filled my mouth and ran down my cheek. I made the decision to maybe not say anything else, but Ruue was being held down by four more of the other men as the rest pulled out a large long piece of wood I hadnt noticed earlier. It took about six men to finally impale the piece of wood into the ground how they intended and when they cleared away I felt horror flood my body. It was a cross. The men in black had staked a huge wooden cross into the ground of the courtyard right in front of Ruue. I could here him screaming right about this time. He was scared. The woman stood next to Ruue with her back to me about twenty yards away and her gun pointed at him. She said, "You are sentenced to death by the Galactic Interdimensional Federation." and then backed away. The men in black then hoisted Ruue up above their heads and held him to the cross. His legs kicked as he cried and pleaded, "Please dont do this! Please! I don't want to die!" The men in black said nothing and if I could have seen their faces under the masks they would have been emotionless. One of the men pulled a hammer out of a bucket and at this moment I thought that they had to be kidding. Two men held Ruues right hand to the cross as another hammered a nail through it. Ruue shrieked. I'll never forget that first scream of pain. I tried to stand but they just knocked me back down to the cold grass. TAP! The man swung the hammer again. Screams. TAP! The last swing of the hammer. By this time Ruue was hyperventilating with cheeks glistining under hallogens. The men let go of his right side and let the nail hold it up. Screams. They then began the whole process again with his left hand. Ruue seemed to become numb. He was out of screams and just whimpered as they nailed his other hand down. As they let go of him he kicked one man hard in the face knocking him to the ground. To which resulted in three more men in black holding his feet to the vertical piece of the cross. The man with the hammer then pulled out a thick metal stake. I nearly fainted. They peirced both of Ruues feet to the cross with the stake. Blood. It took several more swings of the hammer than it did when they nailed his hands and strengthier swings at that. Ruue seemed paralyzed. He locked eyes with me as the men finally stood back from him. There was a moment of complete nothingness. Everything just stopped and the only sound was Ruues cries. He said to me, "You are what I was supposed to find here! Time began moving the moment I met you! I'll never forget you! Thank you so much friend!" Two of the men in black promptly tossed a liquid dousing Ruue while the woman in purple hair tossed a lit match at the base of the cross. The courtyard brightened. Ruues screams filled the air. I watched his skin bubble and turn black. His screams became a gurgle and cough until silenced forever. We all sat there for what seemed like an eternity. They all watched his corpse burn out until it was just a skinny black clump. It was dark again. The woman came to me. She said, "Whats your name?" "D-David" I stuttered. "Are you going to kill me now?" "No." she said with peirced lips. "We are here to prevent changes. Not cause them. You will never see this again." Then, they just left. The woman with the purple hair and the men in black armor, they disappeared into a flash of blue light. I was left alone in the dark courtyard with the charred corpse of Ruue, crucified before me...

submitted by /u/barrydalive420 [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2JYxcs4

#Blogger #Story

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survivormuxloe · 5 years

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Episode #8: “hoebi hears ALL things shady...” - Tobi

Ok I’m super excited because we finally got a challenge involving something I’m good at which is aesthetics. I fucking love moodboards and I really wanna win a challenge so I’m hoping I can win this.

So I am absolutely not creative at all so this challenge is gonna be a struggle for me so love that

So Wes was just voted out. Im neutural about it. Yes wes was a number, but it wouldve done too much drama to try and save him. Im playing my game not his. He didnt do himself any favours.

This round my target is david. He seems like someone who isnt central to everyone. So therefore I think he would easier to get votes on. Plus scott has mentioned david annoys him. So im hoping that now i can managed to pull 2 people our way to vote our david.

people sure gettin feisty..

lets start off with missus dani and mr michael the obvious f2.. like bitch if ur gonna leak things i tell u dont make it obvious!! LAMFJHFG and now dani wants to flip the script on felix bc She Doesnt Want To Do What Shes Told. like gtfo :) ugh im sick of them both i wanna blindside them so bad..

and then i might get caught leakin if this shit gets out more.. hope the vote stays at felix vs david tho bc its bye bye david :)

uhm idk wha t more to say. im done with these mercia people..

Today... the tea... is absolutely STEAMING!! so initially the plan was for david to leave bc felix also wanted to blindside him... but scott's told michael who TOLD david about it and now david knows about it so the target is switched rn... Also more tea is that dani thought she was slick and told scott that she wanted to blindside felix along with scott, david, michael, some sweyn, and said ahrre would do whatever she said... what she said also insinuated that me, mo, and felix were on the bottom of our og tribe... guess she doesn't know that hoebi hears ALL things shady... looks like im flipping off of my og tribe for a 3rd org in a row ladies

im such a fucking mess.... but thank god i have rhys/jones/ryan pickin up the pieces and we still blindsidin.. ALMFJBG

GOD I HOPE ITS DANI THO IM DESPERATE FOR HER TO GO. and i wanna show michael u dont fucking throw me utb n get away with it.. i may be inbred but im not completely dumb n i have the social bonds to stay aMJFHBG

im so dumb like i deserve nothing good after this.

pleaseletmewinpleaseletmewinpleaseletmewinpleaseletmewinpleaseletmewin i w a n t t h i s

SO MUCH HAS BEEN GOING DOWN GUYS this tea is HOT SO since before the Wes vote, Felix, Mo, Tobi, Scooty, Ryan, Rhys and myself were planning on voting for David for the F11 vote - because he's a comp threat and seems pretty set on not flipping on OG Mercia BUT when Scooty was chit chatting with his Canute bff Michael, MICHAEL SPILLED THE BEANS and basically threw Scooty under the bus, so David found out about the plan! I had to play dumb when David asked me about it, and I told him I had no idea (and he totally fell for it >:3c), BUT Felix heard about it and went to Ryan and it became A [clap emoji] CLUSTER [clap emoji] FUCK [clap emoji x3] Scooty also got tea from Dani that she wants to flip the script on Felix with Scooty, me, David, Michael, and Ahrre (she said Ahrre would follow along with anything bc they're paranoid asf) - SO she basically layed out the Mercia tribe Dynamics and indirectly said that Mo, Felix, and Tobi were on the bottom. Which honestly we knew, but that works perfectly for us Sweyn ;) So after I cleared everything up with Felix that Scooty never spilled the beans to David and that Michael is a total snake, we were thinking about what to do next -And because David knows his name's been mentioned, we had to tread carefully. So then we thought,, why not use this paranoia to our advantage? We can make David feel like he's a target so they can possibly play an idol on him (which is a HUGE possibility) but in actuality,,, we're voting for Dani or Michael. It's pretty obvious to everyone that they're a really tight duo and it would be great if we could split them up now before they go far. Right now everyone would definitely prefer to vote Dani (and so would I) because apparently she's a possible comp threat, and also she's v messy so there's that. but if she possibly wins immunity then the vote's changing to Michael. As long as that duo breaks up then we're solid. BUT THAT'S THE TEA FOR NOW I'll try to make another confessional if my dumbass remembers to <3

So I didn’t win, which makes me sad but I did come in second place. Another good thing is that Jones won and I’m allies with Jones so I’m very happy about this. Overall I’m happy.

Hey ya boy is back now I'm gonna recap last week cause my flop ass forgot to do it as it happened. Basically I didn't win immunity which is good. Then I went take a poopoo and when I come back everyone is saying Wes, so hey guess I don't work this week, a nice change compared to the week jose went home.

As for Wes well he hadn't been the most active and I really didn't had a bond with him so that seemed as a convenient vote to me. Aparently he was also targetted cause he was one point away from winning immunity? idk how much of a factor that was but hey kids all the more of a reason to throw them early challenges.

Now talking about tribe lines I'm doing my job talking with the other guys and letting them know I'm willing to work with them. However I'm keeping my eyes on them, specially Scott who seemed to have charmed Michael and Dani in after having flipped on Malik. Add to that the connections he probably has with his OG tribe and make no mistake he could very well be in the best position in this game, which means I will probably have to take a shoot on him sooner or later.

Tobi could also be in a similar postion since the other guys saved him when they had a 4-1 tribe divition advantage, but idk how much was up to Tobi chatting them up instead of Madison being a liability, but I will also keep an eye in him.

Additionally Michael is def not fully in with the idea of staying og tribe strong, which is fair enough. But he also told me Felix told him last week he wanted david out next week, so that would basically be this week. So I'm gonna have to learn more about that, also I never knew who originally threw Wes's name out and no one seemed to know but something tells me Michael had something to do with that as well.

So all in all that's a bunch of stuff I'm gonna have to act upon while keeping a low profile, but hey lazy week was last week so it's not time to get confortable and sit around without doing anything.

sooo i came online today to some messiness lmao. apparently danielle/michael/david all found out about felix's plan, and michael went to Felix and basically threw Scott under the bus about it lmfao. and they want to pull in Ahrre + some Sweyns to flip it on Felix and uh.... yeah no afkdsf. i was able to get felix back on the right page and i think we're good to go him/Mo + Sweyns and blindside Danielle or Michael hehe, because felix thinks an idol could pop up or something idk

so the new plan is blindside miss dani.. thank god LMAOAOAA i been wantin her ass out forever and i wanna have michael stay shook bc if he thinks im gonna be loyal to him after this.. lmao

SHE SHOULDA JUST SAT THERE AND ATE HER FOOD INSTEAD OF SITTIN THERE SAYIN ‘OH I DONT WANNA DO WHAT IM TOLD’ LIKE BITCH. YES U WILL. OTHERWISE UR ASS IS GRASS. THANK U, NEXT.

Okay, so Jones won immunity. Great! Sweyn on the immunity train.

So David was the original plan. However scott went around trying to swing it to david to people who cant keep their gob shut. Michael went to tell David, and david has come full circle and started asking everyone if they had heard my name. So now The sweynians have tried to swing the vote on Dani. As its seen that her and Michael are a pair & Tobi finds Dani annoying.

So we are going to keep the facade that its still David and try to keep telling Michael its David etc and get votes on David. When in reality thats a big fat lie. And Dani should be getting votes.

So tonight the vote is very simple. To vote Ryan however the complication comes from whether or not I go with the og sweyns to blindside David in an attempt to really open the game up and have less of a tribe vs tribe dynamic. Also complicating matters is the fact scott wants me dani and David to form a voting block with Ahrre and someone else to really control this game. It seems to me that I need to really think about my decision.

they better make up their minds whether its me or ryan bc i aint agreeing to a 5th name this tribal LAMFJHFG

So all this is messy and I just start thinking, why don’t I flip like David’s a threat and it would open up the game 100% and also if it was just a case of David vs Ryan id vote ryan but I like Rhys so.

So a lot happened and now it’s rhys but I don’t want rhys I want ryan and with my crazy coo coo plan I hope that i get what I want bc that would be cute and like so unexpected and it would get the game to be opened up

im gunna fucking piss myself why are mercia SO DUMB!!! THEY WANNA SPLIT BETWEEN RYAN AND RHYS LMAOAOAOA LIKE HOW.. KILL ALL UR BONDS IDC!! ME AND JONES ARE BUSY CRYING LAUGHING BC THEYRE JUST SO FUCKING BAD AAAAAAAA

So I wake up to hear my name being throw around by my own og tribe... I love this tea soooo much... like in the end they settled for ryan but the fact that they have the audacity to put me up as an option AND THEN ask me for my vote... I have to laugh LKJHDFLJ I guess its time to flip the script!! Dani and Michael are coming up with this "genius" plan of splitting the votes between ryan and rhys because they think scott, jones, and I are with them... oh honey... they have a big storm comin... we're using this to our advantage to do a clean vote on Dani and take out one of them mofos... miss piggy gets revenge tonight

soo i came online to a whollllllle big ass mess lmao. Dani & Michael been scrambling to get out me or Rhys to save David and they have no idea they've dug themselves so far into a ditch.... it's scary knowing i'm gonna get votes but i feel confident that ppl have my back... i feel good that the Sweyns + Tobi + Felix will vote together to get Dani, and I just hope we've done a good job at making them not see it coming... but even if they do and an idol is played correctly by them, my idol 10000% is going to make an appearance hehehe

Hello here I am,, coming in clutch as the moodboard QUEEN. um,, thank god honestly. bc rn it seems like og Mercia wanted to just pick off Sweyn and I know for a fact David would've wanted to go for me first bc of Ko Chang (which btw, if you target people for past games, choke, it's a new game get over it sweaty c:) but yeah I'm glad I have immunity <3 thank god I ran a moodboard account over the summer teehee So yeah rn the Mercia group is a clusterfuck and I love it,,, I love watching the world burn yk? They really just,,, have no idea what they're doing. first they want to go for Scott, but apparenlty that's a cover and they're going for Ryan, THEN SCOTT KNOWS and they change the vote to Rhys, then they're splitting??? like??? hello????? y'all gotta make up your minds we've been planning on voting Dani out since before immunity came out. this couldn't have been easier honestly. I love this. THEN MICHAEL bless his heart I love him so fucking much but he really told me that David doesn't trust any of Sweyn and wants them out,, like,,, does he not realize,,,,,,,,,,,,,I'm from Sweyn. like,,, that makes me want to take you guys out even more. PLUS he's really digging his own grave when he says that Mo and Ahrre can do whatever they want and they don't matter like,, you don't give the people on the bottom leg room. that's really dumb I love Michael to death but he's doing this to himself rn but heres the rundown on what everyone on that side THINKS is happening - Michael, myself, Scooty, Dani and David vote for Ryan - Ryan and Rhys vote for David - and Mo, Ahrre Tobi and Felix do whatever the fuck they want/Rhys apparently. so that would be a 5/4/2 vote for Ryan. HERE'S WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING (or what I think is happening based on my sleuthing) - David Dani and Michael are voting for Ryan - Ahrre is voting for Rhys - and myself, Scooty, Ryan, Rhys, Tobi, Mo, and Felix are all voting for Dani. making it a 7/3/1 split. I really hate how cocky I sound rn but holy fuck Mercia really crumbled and I barely did anything except for keeping Sweyn/Felix/Mo/Tobi on my side. Thank god. plus with all of this info we gathered now it'll be a lot easier to pull in Ahrre so we can take out the rest of Mercia. see y'all at F10 <3

everyone in this game can stay shook sweyn is runnin this shit..

this is legit my gameplan. be a crazy ass bitch and be a mess and people will never vote ur ass cus they think ull lose in ftc LAMJFBFG

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OKAY. So lets catch up on the vote.

Originally sweyn was going for David. So Scotty was trying to get on it early and get people to swing to him. He told Michael. Michael tells David. David asks all of Sweyn if we heard his name.

We all regroup, and decide Michael or Dani is the best bet. As you know, snitches get stiches. Dani is Michaels ally and I have heard some people have been annoyed with her. So Dani is our new target. We have Tobi, Felix and Mo on board supposedly.

I continue the facade and talk to Michael and Dani about the vote with David. Inorder to keep David thinking its him. Going over whos voting who and blah blah.

Apprently the others, were going to go for Ryan. However Michael told Scotty about it being Ryan, when he was supposed to. This lead to Scotty telling Dani, who told David. So now *apprently* they think Ahrre told Scotty. So now I've been told the vote has been switched to me. But it may be split between me and Ryan.

So right now, I think Dani is going home, with a few votes on me or Ryan. However keyword being THINK. This could be completly a blindside on my half. Just gotta keep fingers crossed.

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Man, so tonight's tribal is gonna be crazy. I got my alliance of Felix, Michael, Danielle and myself voting for Rhys. And I'm gonna use my vote steal to steal Ahrre's vote since he considered himself the swing vote and I'm gonna vote Rhys again with it. If this plan works, Rhys goes home.

We've been telling everyone else that the vote is Ryan, so in case there's an idol being played on either Rhys or Ryan, the other one will hopefully go home.

Ok so a lot has been going on and I've got a big headache so lets just sum it all up.

1. Scott is a dangerous little fella aparently the entire Felix throwing David under the bus last week story was bs. 2. OG Sweyn are going after David. 3. David is going after rhys but he's telling me to vote ryan for some reason, I assume that's because someone leaked the ryan vote to Scott and for some reason he thinks it was me? Either way he's really risking it considering I'm not sure he even has majority, plus he's alienating my ass so I have no real reason to keep him if I survive this round.

Anyhow I'm paranoid now so wish me gl.

Danielle is voted out 7-2-2.

#episode #royallyyours

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