#i try to shit like at least once a day

[seethinglikeme]

girl help i need to shit but i keep forgetting to eat 😔

#i’d say not to be tmi but this is my house #i used to have such bad problems w constipation when i was younger like it was so shitty (heh) so now that i can shit regularly #i try to shit like at least once a day #and usually it’s fine but lately i keep forgetting to eat #it’s actually interesting #i think it’s bc the month and a half i was in romania we didn’t keep a lot of food in the apartment #we mostly ate out since we were rlly close to this restaurant my mom and her friends have been regulars at for like 30 yrs #and at friend’s or family’s places since we were staying super close to several of my mom’s friends and all of my grandparents #plus since my mom was meeting up w friends a lot she’d go to a lot of restaurants #we had food but i’m a picky eater so sometimes i just wouldn’t eat it #so i mostly ate snacks which even then got boring and gross to me #so i got used to eating a lot less #plus since bucharest’s public transport is way better than where i live and it’s way more walkable i’d go out more #and like walk and shit #so i lost weight while i was there and then when we got back i got sick and threw up and barely ate for 2 days #so maybe that’s why i got used to eating less #the thing is tho since it’s summer i’ve been eating more ice cream and icey poles 😭 so u’d think tga #t even if i barely ate otherwise having like at least one ice cream a day would make my weight stay the same #but i’m still losing weight #maybe i have a tapeworm or something idk #i should probably trigger tag this #tw food #tw eating issues #tw disordered eating #tw eating #tw ed #i dont have an ed but better safe than sorry for any who do #me

[chimerahyperfix]

You’re looking for something— no, someone, too, aren’t you?

(I can’t comprehend how you understand what’s going on, with your lifeless shell. Craft as you are.)

#isat #in stars and time #live a live #isat loop #cube live a live #RAHHHHHH [COMBINES MY FIXATIONS] #behold my crack fic au. tiny robot in dormont #I’m cooking let me cook. cube has the little guy little dude vibes #and is also canonically like. a baby? #their chapter in the game happens the day they were finished #so. a baby. #cube is so <3. their chapter is a space horror #I would 100% recommend at least watching a video of it #IT GOES CRAZYYYYYY #pov flicking a card that says die child die at the floor. so #anyways. this au makes no sense to anyone but me #this is MY funny house and I’m going to play in it #worlds smartest baby [a robot] figures out timeloop shit before the party more at 2 #if you ask I WILL ramble abt the concept of this au I will #<- trying desperately to get away from working on my other au post #[I need to draw smth for it and I’m struggling lollll] #sitting here like ughhh I don’t wanna draw this imageee [puts off entire au post] #ANYWAYSSSS #LOOP WOULD HATE THIS KID. the fuck is a robot. #the fuck is this damn thing and how has it read me literally immediately #how dare you be made of craft. be artificial. and be able to read my despair like a book #how dare you; a fake being made by someone else. be more human to me than the people that once were my party #how dare you want to help me when I dont know you because you didn’t EXIST in my loops #…but. uh. thanks for the coffee. even if I can’t drink it I recognize the sentiment. or whatever #falls to the floor dramatically. oughhhh loop and cube ougughhh

[enchanting-grom-fright]

i really fucking hate the side of some of my friends i’ve learned abt these past few months literally just bcs our class switched to one with a low masking / hsn autistic kid in our class

like i know they’d never make fun of him to his face

but i see them trying to exchange judgemental looks with me when he does smthing “cringe” or “annoying” as if that makes it any less ableist

and obviously i don’t humor that but they’re also hanging around kids who say some really out of pocket shit both to his face and literally any moment they can think to make more jokes bcs they for some reason find their existence so fucking funny

which my friends rnt doing at all just to be clear but they still laugh at the jokes. all the time. they still want to be around ppl who’s humor. is. literally. mostly. that. they r still hearing so many of those insults and jokes so. often. made directly to them yet they don’t do anything to discourage it like not even the minimum of ignoring it. it makes me wonder if they’ve started thinking them too

i genuinely don’t get it

#at the end of the day it’s not a relatively big deal #but it’s just so fucking weird that they’re like this. ik theyd never try to harm someone for being autistic but like. they know on some #level not to do this bcs when i bring it up they go quiet #and obviously (at least in my school) i hear ppl saying this type of stuff literally every schoolday #but it especially sucks to hear even as a high masking / lsn autistic from ur own friends once it becomes smthing u see #more days than not #yk #idk ik this is actually a reasonable thing to be upset abt but id hate to sound like i’m complaining #like i’m not the main target here bcs i am not reconizably autistic to most ppl i don’t think (though obviously it does affect me bcs it pu #even more pressure on me to mask which like hopefully if ur reading this yk why that’s horrible) #and i would never ever shit talk my friends just to be clear except they’re just yk doing shitty things this time #guys anyways sorry for the rants but yea #actually autistic #ableism

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT. #i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe? #which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.” #“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.” #and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

[gayrogues]

there is no fucking way that tom king's shitty oneshot, featuring the most out-of-character riddler known to man and a batman who breaks his no kill rule and waterboards people, got nominated for an eisner award...

#i hate the riddler issue of one bad day so much it's unreal #1. why write a riddler comic if you're gonna be like 'actually he HATES riddles and puzzles and won't be using them anymore' #now he's just some guy who kills people #2. i don't think i need to explain why i hate the concept of batman breaking the no kill rule or waterboarding people #3. trying to make the killing joke relevant again after 30 years? to say that ed was the mastermind behind it? #4. the plot is just. incredibly silly and not in a good way like you're telling me once the riddler stops using riddles he #becomes powerful enough to take over the entire city and batman can't do anything about it except kill him? #and i'm not talking taking over the city like in zero year where there was an actual plan #in one bad day everyone just gets sooo scared of him and his massive brain that they fall in line #5. that is not his fucking backstory #that's like. the complete opposite of it. keeping only the part about him having a shitty dad #he was never a prestigious prep school kid under immense pressure to be the smartest #he was just some kid who went unnoticed by everyone and that's why winning that puzzle contest was so important to him #and then his dad refused to believe he was smart enough to win the contest without cheating and you know the rest #he has a very ordinary backstory that explains a lot about him #meanwhile i feel like tom king was like 'oh shit this series is called one bad day' #'i need to give ed a pivotal moment in his life that made him fucked up and evil' #'how bout i write all this stuff leading up to him brutally killing his teacher at the age of like 15' #and it just sucked ass #i feel like there was more stuff i hated that i'm forgetting but i am not gonna re-read this comic to remember! at least the art was good #oopsie daisy these tags turned out to be much longer than i was expecting - i don't even care about the eisner awards i just saw the #category pop up on the library app that i use and i was like Why is This in here #ransom.txt

[munamania]

i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru #but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days #and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay! #and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing #i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail #i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time #not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me #im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me #anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early #i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great #and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most #expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth #but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans #but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated #about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like #u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends #w yall. things happen #abby talks #and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw #a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes #OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it #was years ago but also like christ!

[wereh0gz]

Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency

#ramblings #it's probably all three tbh #it's not severe. like i can live with this. it's fine #but also i generally wish i had a flatter chest #every time i imagine myself in my head i see myself with a flatter chest #but like do i wanna go through the trouble of getting rid of them entirely #or should i just try getting a binder or something #or should i just. leave things as they are #idfk #i don't think top surgery would be an option bc money and. i'm scared of surgery honestly #and the recovery looks painful as shit #and like what if i regret it? what if i was wrong and that wasn't the best option for me? #i think i should just try to get a binder or something. just see how that works for me #and contemplate surgery when i'm older and can support myself and am more sure of whether that's right for me or not #also i'm. hesitant to call it anything bc again it's not really that severe #it's like. a thought that occassionally crosses my mind. at least once a day.. and doesn't leave for a while.... #hm yeah no maybe it's not as mild as i thought it was actually. wonderful realization to come to in the middle of writing a post #anyways. idk if anyone has any binder recs or anything i'll take 'em #also maybe tips on how to approach my mom abt this?? idk if feels like something i should talk abt with her but idk how to even bring it up

[the-kipsabian]

i also dont know why i get such overwhelming feelings of stupidity and guilt these days when im blorbo posting. especially if its about kip. it just comes to me every time nowadays and i dont know why

#i mean. i think its partially cause of all the shitty comments that ive seen so like. i feel like im doing something wrong by being a fan #which i know is not true #but shit brain chemicals go brrrrr #like posting and gifmaking etc makes me genuinely happy and actually feels like kind of a productive use of my time for once #but at the same time i just keep wondering if i should spend it on someone else #which.. idk. i dont know why this feeling is so strong these days #especially since i know my blog is very obviously branded so people are (or at least they should be i dont fucking know honestly) #likeminded here so i should have nothing to worry about #and yet #anyways i have food now im gonna shut up eat and finish those gifs and then try to write before double or nothing eventually kills me #just.. a thought thats been in my head a lot recently #night is an absolute mess on main

[poisonouspastels]

@beegswaz genuinely i think my favorite tags on any of my work ever. i fucking love when people talk abt my characters like this

#its like blorbo from my show but with fucking minecraft and i love it deeply #for the record both Groda and White Eyes get socialized in the modern world like feral cats #both by the main players but it does happen at different times bc they all encountered Groda first when she held Rana hostage for bait #she'd kinda gone crazy after all those years of isolation lol #did that bc she thought Herobrine was the knight who betrayed her during the time period where people were wanting to overthrow her #(the knight worked for the royal family and was one of Groda's childhood friends. that did not last needless to say) #thankfully at the end of the day all 4 of the main players managed to get out alive though not unharmed with Groda in tow #when there's something trying to kill you every other day in this universe though they honestly cant be too mad about it #it doesnt help that Groda is just Really Stupid sometimes (all the time) #she's literally Peridot from SU in that she seems really intimidating but in hindsight is a massive dork #and also the fact that is the voice i imagine her having its so good #once her ability to use magic is taken away she's literally just like a scared feral street cat. does not know what the FUCK is going on #also rendering her communication with 3/4ths of the players useless since she only knows Galactic and no one alive knows that but Herobrine #(not helping the coincidental similarities to the knight but thats not him) she'll learn commonspeak later tho #ironically later down the line when Groda is spotted by the cult getting her magic back will be a key part in taking down White Eyes #she really does want to change for the better but she needed a LOT of shit kicked into her in order to start actually making the change #that being said when White Eyes eventually gets integrated it IS On Sight #she has had to been quite literally pried of Groda AT LEAST once by the others in order to keep from killing her #but other than that she'll be okay :) she picks up painting eventually #her open wounds are finally able to heal over once released from the influence of the Wither but she's still scarred unfortunately #mentally and physically! #but its only up from here... right? #actually since I talked abt the players first encounter with Groda im gonna reblog that aftermath comic again it still fucks #minecraft au mastertag

[bangcakes]

.

#personal #whats literally so funny was that as soon as i saw him walk in the room last year i knew he was gonna be trouble for me #however i never knew itd be this kind n this deep JDJDNDJJDNDJDNDNDN #we are like........ way closer than i ever anticipated. im terrified that we wont have anything to talk about once school ends #i wanna say so much to him but i... theres so much school stress i just.... i dont wanna add anything extra on top for myself or for him... #hhhhhh god lmao. this time last year i hadnt even spoken to him n now im like..... in this Thing that is maybe mutual but maybe isnt #god....... this shit is so hard NFJFJJFJFJFJF #i only see him like 3 more times in the near future...... #then i gotta wait a bit.... but i dont want to 😭😭😭 #i wanna see him every week.... at least... but its probably gonna be on a month basis even IF THAT.... #god what if it all fizzles out............ #hhhhhhhhhh #im gonna try to keep it going. im just..... idk. im scared #i hope he tries to keep it going too..... #its just hard.... when its 2 ppl that like.... only talk when they need to...... try to keep in touch JFJDJDJDJDKKDKDKDK #the most we go now is a full day without talking...... like either i'll message or he will #usually its me.... but... im more talkative i guess ... IDK #all ik is that i Know hes not talking to anyone else at school LMAO #one of my friends was like.... ya dont bother putting him in a group chat .. he never answere #while im over here like.... LOL he messages me back always within minutes/seconds #and if hes offline... as soon as hes back online. #JXJXKKXKXKXKZ GOD. #n e way. see him today............ looking forward to it but also nervous 😳 #i'll be fine once i see him tho... its just the Anticipation #feel really comfortable around him LOL. never thought id say that #anyway

[artkaninchenbau]

His Blade ⚔️  [Speedpaint] [Commissions]  [Patreon]  [Ko-Fi Shop]

#My art #Look at this crinkle paper ass looking cat #Drew it the other day and fucking loved it like. That's a Creature if I ever saw one #And I was like I need to this scrunkle honor. I must do a full illustration with 'em #So here I am #Skrunkly be upon ye #I did originally kind of envision with his with dead trees in the back and corpses surrounding the cat with a bloody hand near the blade #Lowkey implying the sword belonged to a fallen knight and the cat was protecting it from an unknown danger #But IDK I didn't have the energy to draw that much shit in this #One set of armor was enough I don't wanna draw MORE knights at once #But yeah although I was too lazy to commit to it I think that might explain some of The Vibes with the illustration #And shit like the red sky and the wind etc #As you can see in the speedpaint I did try to draw flames in the background and have like more dramatic lighting #But 1) it looked like ass and 2) I did kind of originally want to go with a flat little-to-no-shading look with this #IDK I was feeling inspired by some artists on Twitter #IDK drawing this was a weird experience of me both half-assing it and putting so much fucking effort into it all at once #I'm not sure I'm happy with how it turned out in the end but at least it turned out and in the end that's all I can really ask for lol

[transboysokka]

maybe ive been too fucked up by growing up in america during the fucked up hypernationalistic war on terror era but I think it’s FUCKING DISGUSTING to see mainstream people praising the murder of civilians while days ago they were condemning it

it’s also super creepy that so many americans have blind allegiance to a government they don’t live under or actually understand

THATS why I was bothered by people earlier this week posting Israeli flags on their social media

just like. stop killing people on any fucking side, cheering for death is barbaric

#I’ve seen so much of it and I’m just tired #I know this shit is all over social media but I’m tired of the Islamophobia that’s never gone away and I’m tired of the antisemitism that #also feels like it can come out of the woodworks and I’m tired of people making tragedies across the world a part of their agenda and I’m #tired of America continuing its legacy of not minding its own business and I’m tired of continued double standards and meanwhile this shit #in Australia proving once again what we already knew about humanity just being terrible and at least once a day I think about the #inevitability of war here and like I just get fucking tired sometimes #anyway totally not trying to make anything about me I’m just venting like I’m so tired of stupid people

[orbmanson7]

:(

Very bad grade in therapy today

#thought i could make progress this year and yet here i am having done jack shit by now #what has even been the point #i just wanted to do something today that didnt feel awful like try to encourage people to watch a show or play a game #and now im just right back to Why do i bother staying alive? im never going to make any progress #and even if i do I'm going to just be worthless the whole time and waste precious resources others could be using #oh yes just try saying a nice thing to yourself for once! yeah sure that will help when i cant do anything worth a damn #i want to help people but i have no skillsets and no money to further my education and teaching myself gets me right where i already am! #continuing like this is like spitting in the face of anyone who is actually out there pursuing their dreams and thats not fair to them #they put in all that hard work and im over here being a whiny ass bitch bc i want so badly to do better and learn more #but the only thing holding me back is that im a dumbass who cant do anything right and no one will ever think differently #why am i trying to make myself something i can never be? what is goddamn point if its just a waste of everyones time and effort #i just... it feels like the least i can do is just stop taking up space #free up some oxygen for someone who really needs it and shelter for someone who truly deserves it #i shouldnt even have these things and yet i complain about how much gas i have to pay to commute to my jobs #like such an asshole #and i said i so much in these tags bc im such a selfish jerk who coearly doesnt care enough nor has a worthwhile vocabulary to say otherwise #theres just no fucking point to any of this #... #its cold today #might be a good day to do my favorite plan #actually yeah fuck it im gonna go #hope you all stay kind to yourselves and enjoy your 2024 #you absolutely deserve it and everything you can get out of it #keep being amazing yall #see you on the flip side or whatever #orbs thought bubbles

[iinexorabile]

What happened between Urick and Yaha was a true tragedy tbh. Two people who were very close, who harbored a strong friendship that (at one point) blossomed into romance, but one that burned out quickly and ultimately crashed because (and these are understatements) one side was too selfish and cowardly (*cough urick cough*) and the other side FAR too obsessed (looking at you Yaha).

anyway, siri play fourth of july by fall out boy.

#urick: musings #headcanons: urick #//all in all though while urick struggles with the concept of deep relationships like that these days for. other reasons-- #//-- he's def not trying to let shit go down like it did with yaha. at least on his end. like urick might #//have some shit opinions about himself but when it comes to more romantic endeavors he tries not to be the level of fuck-up he once was #//his relationship with two across their various verses is a good example of him trying to do better #//trying to be better #//i think urick would try and keep that same energy no matter who he's with but then again. who's to say how things would go #//hopefully for urick though he's done with tragedies of that nature gJHGSDFGHJSDJGH #//bc he's got all sorts of other shit to grapple with HJGSDFGHJ

[kimtaegis]

hate to say it but july kinda sucked

#please let me whine and list all the things that have troubled me this month #first off having to get serious about my master thesis and everything taking so much longer than I want it to (the anxiety. wow) #and mentally preparing to tackle two jobs AND finishing the thesis all at once soon (how......am I gonna do that) #well then ofc my car breaking down and having to spend my last savings on a new one #generally having to spend a shit load of money. all my money. gone within 2 months #wanting to have a big birthday party so badly only for it to get so stressful and Too Much for my introverted perfectionist ass #that I was the first and only one to feel (physically and mentally) sick about four hours in and had to leave my guests on their own #the usual old struggles flaring up again (as in too high expectations towards everything and everyone and myself that leave me disappointed #and on a more irrelevant note lmao: being one of the few people who doesn’t seem to have enjoyed barbenheimer that much? #same for jk’s solo and everything around it it's just not really for me #and thus feeling a little distanced from the fandom and from creating lately...I'll try again this weekend though I'll try #and last but not least my skin is being SO bad again rn that I just want to rip it off my whole body!!!!!!! #yeah! not at all how I wanted july to go! anyways august in a few days let’s move on and hope for the best #SORRY for being negative on here again. there were also nice things. like awi and al and all my other friends. #and birthday gifts and messages. <33

[confetti-critter]

The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I

#the good old 'I don't feel like doing anything including doing nothing and I want to go to bed but I know I'm not tired' #WEH. #I'm enjoying typing but I don't want to commit to practicing typing for real so I'm just making excuses to type more #I was looking at custom ESC keycaps because I was thinking about that whole community of ppl obsessed with keyboards and like I get it I #like the clicky clacking and keyboards can look so pretty but some of those key caps man wtf. #why would you want 3D transparent donald duck ESC key from temu what is wrong with you #saw a set of key caps that were little kittys with little kitty ears n I was like fuuuuuuuuuck #49.00 USD probably 100000 CAD+shipping goto helllll #I was thinking about what if I had like confetti keycaps and a custom kittycake esc key or like an actual little cake and matching desk mat #or even just a new cute mousepad cuz mine is old as fuck and I spilled vegetable cream stew on it once #and then I was thinking like sighhh and wouldn't it be cool to have arcade carpet on the stairs leading down to my basement hovel and #rainbow lights along the ceiling corners and what if I painting my bedroom like I wanted to do and sighhhhh #I haven't been wasting my money buying shit like that but I'm thinking about it again. #but the same thing stopping me from doing anything at all is stopping me from wasting my money which like that's good I guess??????? #gosh I really like typing why did I stop doing daily typing practice #oh yea The Thing Stopping Me From Doing Anything At All #meow meowm meow meow meow #ok I really gotta tear myself away from my computer and brush my teethses and try going to bed #I already played minecraft earlier it's fine I didn't do NOTHING tonight it just feels like I did #and tomorrow is another day #and next week is a short work week thank fucking christ almighty #literally cuz its easter sunday and he was in that tomb but he escaped or whatever he did #thanks jeezy boy #you maybe shoulda milked it for like half a week at least #moved the big ass boulder like have an inch at a time #*pause for laughter* #that s from my new stand up comedy routine do uiuop like it djfskll;askjdgflksjdflksajdflksjdf the dsjalkjfolidasfgjoiweljsdalkjflskdjflak #meowww #I am the only one I know on here who 'talks' this fucking much about absolutely nothing #I do all this and my poor followers can click read more and spend time reading alllllll this garbage