#which i know is not true

[senvurii]

dont cry because if you cry then i cry

#tommyinnit fanart #dream smp #dreamsmp fanart #dsmp fanart #tubbo fanart #clingy duo fanart #is it. is it horrible for me 2 say that i miss old clingy duo #they wre so insane crazy #i also miss their old designs SORRY #i love both designs btw #ive just been here too long #also i hate not drawing ctommys face bc it feels like he doesn't become the center of attention anymore #which i know is not true #but ctommy brain disease #chronic #also remember that old thing they said where if one cries then they all cry...

[the-kipsabian]

i also dont know why i get such overwhelming feelings of stupidity and guilt these days when im blorbo posting. especially if its about kip. it just comes to me every time nowadays and i dont know why

#i mean. i think its partially cause of all the shitty comments that ive seen so like. i feel like im doing something wrong by being a fan #which i know is not true #but shit brain chemicals go brrrrr #like posting and gifmaking etc makes me genuinely happy and actually feels like kind of a productive use of my time for once #but at the same time i just keep wondering if i should spend it on someone else #which.. idk. i dont know why this feeling is so strong these days #especially since i know my blog is very obviously branded so people are (or at least they should be i dont fucking know honestly) #likeminded here so i should have nothing to worry about #and yet #anyways i have food now im gonna shut up eat and finish those gifs and then try to write before double or nothing eventually kills me #just.. a thought thats been in my head a lot recently #night is an absolute mess on main

[strywoven]

just a heads-up : i'm not doing well ( but we persist regardless ) ; there's a lot going on in my offline world atm that's weighing heavily on me so i'm not sure i'll be doing a whole lot until i get it sorted.

#❧ ⸺ update | ooc ❞ #❧ ⸺ you’ve gone maverick‚ maverick ! | ooc ❞ #the stress is making me sick #and i'm internalizing the lack of response from my peers as my own fault #which i know is not true #but hey #anxiety-brain amiright fellas? #the queue will run for a little while longer #but otherwise i'll probably be quiet #i'm sorry!!

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[canisalbus]

Real fan art is coming one day, but for now I really wanted to see if it was feasible to simplify their gradients into something that would fit a simple style like Bluey’s 😅

.

#aaaaaaaaaAAA #they're so precious I can't ;m; #I still haven't watched Bluey so I can't really comment on show accuracy but to me these look spot on #if you ask me the gradients work really well #if you look at them and unfocus your eyes they look like their normal markings #Vasco might benefit from having one more band between the base yellow and the lighter brown but that's totally optional and might take away #from the simplicity of his design #their colors are so true to the way I color them which is both cool and kind of uncanny #like Machete's pink details which in reality are very peachy almost closer to light orange than true pink #and their colored linearts which use the same colors I use for my colored linearts #I don't know I thought that was really cool attention to detail #they're adorable #thank you! #gift art #apupcalyptic #own characters #Machete #Vasco #their lives would be a lot less stressful in bluey universe I reckon

[spoopdeedoop]

real friends have weird greetings that usually involve hitting each other

#have this low effort thing bc ive been animating far too much #i have this mindset where no one is here for my art they’re here for the animations #which is why i kinda feel useless doing normal art #which i know isnt true but. brains will brain #so drew my fav characters being silly #my art #atsv #across the spiderverse #atsv fanart #across the spiderverse fanart #spiderverse #spiderverse fanart #spiderman #pavitr prabhakar #hobie brown #miles morales #goldenpunk #itsv #into the spiderverse #can be read as romantic or platonic irdc

[ohitslen]

Something other about his eyes

Bonus! Based on this quick thing I did this afternoon and the idea took a bit more shape and turned into that thing from above uEK

#not too much effort on the colors with this one #o would’ve left it just with lineart but at the end I thought it would look nicer with some rough shadows #shadowing. you know what I meant. #his plant markings being extremely faint on his eyes when they aren’t glowing is very true to me also #I think itd be awesome if Vash’s eyes would just look like that when he isn’t masking #or they could be a bit more lax but still look like they are staring far far away into the void #or into your souls if you so happen to make eye contact with him. like woowoo over here #he is probably listening for one of his sisters who is not so close to him. maybe even Kni? who knows it’s up to interpretation #Vash’s hair can be such a nightmare also. I do not think of physics when drawing him whatsoever #I give him the Mickey Mouse ears treatment sometimes and some other I actually respect the fact that his hair will always be swept #to the right. if you haven’t noticed that yet. I think it’s way more noticeable on the 2d art #which is a nice touch! considering that’s the direction I’m which his haircut was when they were kids. isn’t that fun #anyways weird Vash for me once again and I’ll share a little with you. ah I’ll get to the requests later btw! #trigun #vash the stampede #trigun stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #vashwood #trigun fanart #vash #wolfwood #nicholas trigun #lenssi draws #vash saverem #ah extra note. this is meant to be pre plant revelation. I think Vash would already know about what WW is there for since very early on #but about the plant thing he was still a little doubtful since he wouldn’t think Kni would disclose that information so easily. #so seeing that Nick has a very keen eye and is very observant kind of ticks him off even though he is just the same. so maybe that’s why #it ticks him in the first place. headcanons everywhere in this household

[shorthaltsjester]

the mighty nein - critical role

this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.

#also with softer vibes. i offer They #every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit #the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family #also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9. #when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them #i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake. #the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor. #a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp #also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees. #the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay. #ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video. #crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives #as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes. #and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met. #rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed #posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc. #general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts #which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth. #critical role #the mighty nein #cr2 #caleb widogast #caduceus clay #jester lavorre #fjord #veth brenatto #yasha nydoorin #beauregard lionett #mollymauk tealeaf #my posts

[artharakka]

Beautiful, But Broken

#bg3 #tiefling #tw blood #c: Viivi #so I redid my bg3 character because I wasn't feeling durge that much. So now my sibling does durge and I regular tav Viivi #(changed her to tiefling for funs) #at least I meant to do regular tav but uhhhhh things have gone very unfortunately very fast #anyway. Viivi is an artist; she does painting sculpting poetry and some prose. Experimenting with this and that #unfortunately she is deaf which made making connections a bit hard in the fine arts world #fortunately she has a patreon with one very generous patron (she's fey warlock)✨ who has bestowed some gifts of charms for her #which have opened doors of many art galleries #She's not a fighter so although she is confident in her own lane she is also very aware of her mortality #so she avoided any fights she could #which might have saved her but also got her into the mess of her lifetime #you see she couldn't fight the entire goblin camp and their leaders. She would've just not survived that. So she convinced them #that she is a True Soul. She is good at convincing people. It worked. They thought she is on their side. Good #Halsin also though Viivi was on their side. Halsin attacked Viivi's party. Now Halsin is dead. #So Viivi and her group were still alone deep within enemy fort. Viivi made new plans. She frees the prisoner who says he will warn the grov #Good thinks Viivi now they know to flee. I will go to Minthara and tell we got the information from prisoner of the grove location #she will trust us and we walk off #when we get back to grove they have not fled and Minthara is at the gates #Minthara wants Viivi to sound the horn. Zevlor wants Viivi to sound the horn. Viivi asks Zevlor to please tell this plan in detail. #Zevlor says just blow the horn already. Viivi does that. Minthara thanks Viivi for leaving the gate open as planned #Zevlor does not thank Viivi for that. Viivi is confused as she did not leave the gate open. (for real the damn gate was left open) #So I did a Massacre. #now Karlach is gone Wyll is dead. Lae'zel is also dead #but apparently Minthara is ready to be very loving and sincere with Viivi. The most helpful person she has met in very long time. #Viivi might love her #so that is how she's doing.

[ollie-jpg]

i am going to start crying . ‘you can fuck anyone but with whom can you sit in the water’

#i’m so unwell #i’m so so so so so unwell #lizzy and i had a convo and now i feel unloved #unloved and. lied to and alone #and guilty and helpless and also a little bit like a burden #but mostly unloved #which i KNOW is not true #like wtf . #gestures to fie #fie is like. the most loving person i know sjdjcjjd i know i’m not unloved #just . a lot of lied to and isolated feelings #i have a good support system so like. realistically i should not be crying right now #but also i am #lot of other stuff going on rn too #yeah. okay #i should sleep #ollie talks

[ruporas]

invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because #it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has #given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably #since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc #of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:) #in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun #but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots #he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at #the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is. #mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax #but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe #the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww #u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww #ruporas art

[offkilterkeys]

Crazy to think that from his perspective he went from thinking it would be funny if he cloned his own consciousness to then spending years tormented by the indignity of a cage wrought up by his own hubris.

#homestuck #homestuck fanart #lil hal #hal strider #autoresponder #I don’t like calling him that #but for tagging sake it’s technically true #I’m not too sure about this one if I’m being honest #Which is why he’s getting the 5 am treatment #You know when I first read Homestuck I thought I’d really like him #cause my sister’s favorite alpha kids were Roxy and Hal #but I ended up liking Jane and Jake best #Anyway he’s in the “I’d probably like them more if not for their fans“ pile along with Dirk and Dave #tw blood

[middle-earth-mythopoeia]

(source, 11/30/22)

KING

#anti rings of power #rings of power #Bernard Hill #LOTR cast #anti rop #and before anyone says something about how Peter Jackson's movies made money too - yes they did #but at least they were based on books Tolkien actually wrote #the Amazon show is not based on any story Tolkien actually wrote #it's just the haphazard and low quality imitation of a greedy and corrupt company #Bernard Hill is right and he should say it #IT'S NOT THE REAL THING #and also #I think he's saying that the Amazon show is PURELY a money-making venture - which is true #the LOTR films were not purely a money-making venture - in fact they didn't even know if they'd be successful at all #and then they were - but no one predicted it

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[lonely-little-astronaut]

In honour of knife day, I would like to list all the reasons it should have been obvious to Caesar that he was going to be stabbed, according to the Roman historian Suetonius (who was not even born until a few decades after the event, so obviously he would know)

A bunch of horses that Caesar had previously let loose in hope of favour from the gods in battle started crying copiously (which is a horrifying image)

A wren with a laurel branch flew into a theatre and was viciously torn apart by a bunch of other birds

He had a dream he was holding hands with Jupiter in the clouds

His wife had a dream that their house collapsed and Caesar was lying in her arms, having been stabbed

He wasn't even sure if he should go into work that day but Brutus persuaded him to go in several hours late

Someone gave him a little pamphlet thing detailing the plot, but he didn't read it and just bundled it away in his left hand (oooh unlucky hand) with his other papers and things

He had loads of sacrifices done because he couldn't get a good omen, and mocked the Haruspex who interpreted the sacrifices for him (Spurinna)

(edited for clarity)

#ides of march #putting my Latin GCSE to good use #This counts as Latin revision right? #The text I got this from is literally part of the exam spec #Which is really cool I think #I have no idea if this is all common knowledge or not but I didn't know it before we were taught it #I definitely didn't just make this post to see if the thing about Tumblr showering your post with knives is true or not #Edit: there were in fact small knife emojis which is wonderful #I did not expect this post to do so well #my post #mypost

[adorabledrugl0rd]

Imagine having your dead uncle’s spirit following you around and the weight of what your life is hits you all at once while you’re breaking into a high security building

couldn’t be me

I don’t know why but I can’t stop drawing @somerandomdudelmao Casey

he’s so cute and fun to draw even in my sloppy art style

#tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #cass apocalyptic series #casey jr #I draw characters crying because I can’t #gotdamn I love drawing dumb shit #he carries his trauma in his eyes #also his lil stanky leg #i just realized i drew him in the autism stance #but like deep lunge version #i feel like if i keep posting art of other people’s au’s people will think im annoying #which is true but like #i dont even know #naniart