*clears throat* HIGH HUMANITY P FINALLY BEING ABLE TO EAT AND SHARING ALL KINDS OF WONDERFUL TREATS WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god Bloodbrown you are reading my mind ahhhh!!
I bet he would love baking so much, and he takes it so seriously when you tell him the best kind of treats are the ones made with love! I actually have a plot bunny about teaching P how to bake and cook floating around in my notes that I’m excited to get some time to work on.
Okay okay!
The growl of a stomach and the pang of hunger had initially concerned P, who tugged on your sleeve urgently. As you turned to face him his stomach rumbled again, you laughed at his mounting concern and explained that it sounded like he was hungry.
“You know, like how when I wake up I always have something to eat? Like that.” You soothed, the worry lines in his brow settling.
This was something normal, something human.
He was now very excited about the prospect of a new human thing he’d be able to try, and eating was something he’d been longing to do, watching you eat tended to be awkward and everything you made looked so appetising.
“I think I have something in the pantry you’ll really like.” You beamed, dragging him into the hotel’s kitchen.
You swung open the pantry doors and rummaged a bit, P looked over your shoulder curiously. The pantry wasn’t filled to the brim but what was in there he wasn’t familiar with at all, tins, cartons and baskets full of food and ingredients he didn’t know the name of.
“Ah hah!” You cheered, pulling a white, metal box from the pantry. “I promise you’ll love these!”
You popped off the lid and inside where multiple yellow discs with brown pieces scattered throughout them, he tilted his head and you waved the box in front of him,
“Try one! They’re homemade.” You coaxed, not that he would take much convincing when it came to you.
“Home… made?” He took a disc, the paper surrounding them crinkling, you also took one for yourself before placing the box on the countertop beside you.
“It means it was made in the home, I made these ones myself. Some people believe the best kind of food is made with love, which you get plenty of in homemade cooking!” You explained, his eyes widened owlishly, throughly impressed once again by your abilities and your knowledge. You’d said before that they weren’t exactly difficult skills to pick up but he didn’t know how to make a… wait what is this thing?
“What… is it?” He questioned, turning the disc over in his hands.
“It’s a chocolate chip cookie.” It was solid in his hand but the surface had a bounce to it, he brought it up to his mouth and was even more eager to try it now that he could smell it.
You watched his reaction closely as he bit into the treat, any hesitance was quickly replaced with pure joy as he rushed to finish the rest of the cookie.
“You like it?” You asked, and you got an enthusiastic nod in response, a giggle bubbling up from P’s throat boyishly. “Would you like another?”
“Yes!” He beamed, you held the box back out to him and he took another cookie for himself but stopped short when he noticed that you hadn’t done the same.
He frowned, looked at the cookie and then back at you before splitting the treat down the middle and offering one half to you. “Love should… be shared.”
You couldn’t agree more.
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Sometimes you´re out grocery shopping and idly browsing the frozen veg section when you suddenly remember that the queen threw up after Erik´s death when Wille said he´s always been compared to his brother and Wille threw up when he realized he´s going to have to keep being crown prince.
And you think about similar reactions to stress of parent and child and you remember the queen told Wille to take three deep breaths when he freaked out over Simon´s date and how she sends him to therapy to control his outbursts (ugh).
And you think where did it all go wrong that she can´t ever connect with her son when she´s obviously got some experience in that department. I think we meet her so far into her own history of controlling her emotions that she´s unable and mostly unwilling to connect even when Wille is outright asking her to be his mom (gah!), because oh hey, those would be more emotions she would need to allow to break through, and those walls are staying. Maybe in her mind even for Wille´s own good, to teach him how it´s done.
And there´s certainly reasons for those walls and it´s probably part self-protection and probably people telling her from a young age she needs to have them, and probably also because she´s a woman on the throne, so people would probably insist a little extra on them.
The most honest and raw I´ve seen her in the show is the moment she throws up.
(I usually question what she´s saying to Wille or August, no matter what warm or soft tone she´s using about what the court allegedly wants her to do, how it´s not really her, and how she actually supports Wille etc, as she´s been proven to manipulate Wille (and August in S2) into doing what she thinks is best for the institution she´s the head of. The one whose survival is always the priority, as per her own words.)
She´s shown to do royal business in what looks like pyjamas after all, the most casual and private of clothes, telling us there´s no separation, ever, that she´s always the queen. She rolls her eyes at her son after ending a phone call in which a rattled Wille sits among shards of glass negotiating with her (!), after she wanted to forcibly remove him from school. She doesn´t ever truly seem torn or conflicted, except that one time she throws up.
When her emotional core literally breaks its way out of her against her will.
No wonder she completely underestimates Wille and the depth and power for change his emotions hold after he´s finally allowed some therapy (that he could have used long ago just for growing up in that institution) and experienced actual emotional growth and healing instead of using it for control like she probably has. No wonder she and the court collectively underestimate Simon and what his love, what their love and connection mean to Wille. (Looking at you, Jan-Olof, allowing Wille a moment with Simon, you fool!) It´s simply been too long behind those impenetrable walls that she can´t even see it anymore. Until her son shows her. And you wonder if he´s even breaking through to her, or if she´s just been confirmed in her fears about his emotional unruliness and will dig in deeper inside her fortress. (Another time if feels like we see some honest emotion from her is of course in S1 when she´s visibly angry as she says that nobody ever chooses the royal life, so maybe Wille can relay Boris´ message about choosing how to live your life to her? Maybe she´s not beyond Boris´ wisdom. Anyway.)
The show shines such an unforgiving light on that institution that chokes all feelings and individual freedom out of you, especially over such a long time as with the queen, but I love love love how hopeful and defiant Wille´s journey of deliberate progress is in the face of it.
And I do hope he´ll continue therapy and never allows his own walls back up once they´re down.
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Ajax: I am going to keep all my problems right here in my chest until I die (again)
Dainsleif: You're not allowed to die
Ajax: I didn't know you cared.
Dainsleif: I don't, but I don't want to watch your dragon go crazy because you died.
Ajax: Please I don't mean that much to-
Dainsleif: Loop four started because you died in Morax's arm and he almost split the planet open in his grief. I am not going through that again.
Ajax:....that's hot.
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