#i support the writers strike but i don’t support the choices they made w this last ep lmao

[littleoceanbabe]

no you know what? i’m also beyond pissed they went the “she has to chose between two guys” route. i’m alright with keeley not ending up with either of them but did they really have to regress roy and jamie’s arcs like that? to the point where they got into a physical fight over a woman after they had this heart-to-heart about how grateful they were for each other and how proud roy was of jamie and his growth?

i just found that part profoundly stupid and out of character for the both of them. why make keeley choose at all. what’s the point.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #roy kent #jamie tartt #keeley jones #roy x keeley #roy x jamie #jamie x keeley #roy x keeley x jamie #it was just #aaaaarrrrrrgh so frustrating that they went down that path #couldn’t they all have just kissed an made up come on you fucking cowards #i support the writers strike but i don’t support the choices they made w this last ep lmao

[ectonurites]

Conner Kent in Suicide Squad/the Infinite Frontier era: wtf is going on

Alright lads hello I just need to type out some theories/thoughts about what’s going on with my boy Kon right now. This is more for myself than anything else (just trying to organize my thoughts) but since some of y’all like to hear me talk about comics (and some of this discussion has already been happenin in my inbox) I figured i’d format it and put it on here too! its like 4k words and written over the last few days mostly at 3am. sorry <3 

this is basically just me going like

Also fair warning that like, I can be wrong and misinterpret things just as much as anyone else can, like I use panels to support why I think what I do but a lot of this stuff is subjective/complicated to understand so like... in general somethings should be taken with a grain of salt, especially because exactly what changes to the universe were made by Death Metal/Infinite Frontier haven’t been super super clearly defined yet. Also sometimes comic writers make the most random nonsensical shit happen, so I as a fan am also allowed to theorize about random nonsensical shit.

But to start: let’s backtrack!

Many months ago when Infinite Frontier was first announced they dropped some promotional art, and I remember being a little confused because. Well:

(Variant Cover spread for Justice League (2018) #59)

(Variant Cover spread for Superman (2018) #29)

Notice how Conner is back to his Teen Titans 2003 look up top, but in his YJ 2019 look at the bottom? This seemed weird to me! But then they announced that Conner would be part of the Suicide Squad ongoing title, in the T-shirt look, so I wrote this discrepancy off in my brain as ‘oh I guess that cover was just the last hurrah for punk Kon’ and moved on with life.

In Suicide Squad right away we learn he’s very much so there against his will:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #1)

Which corroborates more or less what we were also shown in Future State: Suicide Squad, although admittedly it tells... a slightly different version of the events. When I first saw both of these together I just chalked it up to being a bit inaccurate as it’s shown as a memory in Future State:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Issue 2 we saw him in action with the Squad, trying to do his best to still be a hero despite the team, but things get a little more interesting in the following issue. It starts off with an account of his history

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

This page gave me a few immediate red flags, mostly minor things that had to do with coloring, so more irl problems than things to take seriously in-universe (Kon’s pants are the wrong color in the first Superboy shot, and Bart’s Impulse costume is in Kid Flash colors instead of the correct Impulse ones) but then also it just bugged me the phrasing “he joined Young Justice” when he was a founder of the team, he didn’t join it he made it with Tim and Bart.

But again, chalked that stuff up to just.... writers/artists being inconsistent/unaware of things that they should be aware of, or even Nocturna just not being specific with details. But it did still strike me as a little odd considering the very accurate use of villains in those same shots, Scavenger who was a reoccurring bad guy from Kon’s solo days and showed up basically nowhere else (even holding the Spear of Lono and everything!) and Billy/Harm (Greta’s brother) from Young Justice.

But then a few pages later we got this:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

Which is interesting. My first instinct was to think he’s being drugged w kryptonite or something thats leaving him hazy/out of it, but my thoughts on that have kinda changed, we’ll get there in a bit. But in general the context of ‘something’s wrong’ made the slight discrepancies on some details of his own history make more sense.

I also want to then bring up the next part to this story, the crossover issue in Teen Titans Academy.

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

So a few things. Does it feel weird to anyone else that Conner Kent, a known previous Titan who literally has a framed picture of himself in a case there, would set off alarm sensors like that? Wouldn’t he be... recognized as a Titan not an intruder by their sensors? Interesting! Anyways.

He looks really pained looking at that picture, and sad, and almost frustrated, which ya know makes sense and hurts my heart because he misses them! He misses his friends and being happy. 

But, importantly for a criticism I wanna make thats less theory related and more just me bein annoyed at Tim Sheridan, that’s a picture of Conner. Right there. That’s Superboy, on display at Teen Titans Academy, so the people who frequent this building would know who he is and what he looks like and be able to recognize him, he’s even in the same outfit and everything. Alinta recognized him at the end of Suicide Squad #3. 

So why does only one person during this big fight then comment on his presence?? Why doesn’t it get a bigger reaction???

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

And after the fight we don’t see any on panel moment of Wallace going up to the staff Titans (who weren’t present for the fight) and saying like “HEY NIGHTWING UHHH SUPERBOY WAS WITH THE SUICIDE SQUAD?” we just see him talking with his friends upset about Crush leaving. We see Alinta talking to them but we don’t see the exact dialogue. So I do just wanna take the writer by the shoulders and shake him a little bit and ask WHY because that just feels like... something you’d wanna address on panel! This is like the first time since joining the squad that Kon’s at all in contact with people from his life before Waller got involved, I feel like not addressing those people’s reactions to it/not discussing it at least a little bit on panel (especially when Conner CAME UP in the previous TTA issue, Dick brought him up and everything!!!) is a really odd choice. Maybe it’ll happen next issue and i’m just impatient, but who knows. Anyways, gripes with Sheridan aside, lets move on.

I wanna bring up how Conner... doesn’t really respond to Wallace’s question? At all? Except to just fight him off, not even an attempt at a ‘Sorry’ or anything? (the ‘Ha! That all you got?!’ seems to be coming from Culebra not Conner, although the placement of the bubble is vague enough it could be that it was supposed to be Conner? but it seems more like what she’d say, especially as she’s grabbing Emiko like that) That just feels weird. It feels off. In general he speaks so little in Suicide Squad #3 and this issue. Tbh it almost feels like he doesn’t really recognize Wallace which I mean I suppose they never exactly met (they would have theoretically during Death Metal, basically all past/present Titans were together for a while during that), but Kon’s been back in existing long enough he’d have a sense of who current heroes are anyways.

But right, so, lots of little things that feel weird... that gets us caught up to the most recently released comics... but in this household we look at solicits as they drop. Which gives us some info on what’s coming up a few months ahead of time, albeit without full context obviously. Issues #4 and #5 don’t mention Conner in their descriptions or show him on the covers at all, because there’s just other plot things going on, so ya know seems things will be quiet for him for a bit.

But then we got the August solicitations and oh BOY it’s a doozey for him! And some things start to kinda connect perhaps!

I want to just take a moment to look at that specific wording. “The teen calling himself Conner Kent” I’m probably reading too much into it but that feels deliberate, like why wouldn’t you just say ‘Conner Kent’? Usually these kinds of descriptions are trying to keep a low word count, not add in extra words that don’t need to be there. It makes it feel like that’s a name he’s using that... doesn’t actually belong to him.

So the theory I want to propose (that has been floating around already) is that based on these covers and the description, and how the Conner we’ve been seeing in Suicide Squad apparently talks about his own personal history like he’s ‘reading a wikipedia entry’ and had little response to people he should be aware of like Wallace and apparently isn’t recognized as a Titan through a bio-scan and also bearing in mind those initial promo arts with two separate looks at the same time for him... I think we're looking at a situation where the Conner in Suicide Squad so far has actually been a clone of original Conner (like... like he’s Match 2.0 or somethin) the whole time, that’s just not aware he’s not the original. 

Now that’s the base theory I wanna work with and build off of, but there’s MANY different directions that could go in/ways that could work.

For example, one idea is that the Conner we saw in #1 who was chained up is the original Conner, and he’s been being cloned and held captive, so everything else with Conner in Suicide Squad so far has been this Match 2.0 

Another idea could be the original Conner in #1 is also the Conner in #2 who Waller had then commented wasn’t ready during the mission in Arkham and had zapped with a lil Kryptonite, and after that moment she took him off the field because his spirit hadn’t been broken enough to be obedient (as he was a lot quieter in Issue #3 & the TTA crossover compared to #2, and #3 is when the Nocturna thing with the history happened)

Or it could even be original Conner in #1, then in #2 was one clone that wasn’t ‘ready’ that after that point she stopped using him, and switched to a diff clone for #3, because like that first cover did show a LOT of clones. That could be more just ‘artistic interpretation’ or something, covers sometimes do exaggerate/mislead, but it also could indicate we’re looking at a lot of clones.

(Suicide Squad (2021) #2)

With all of those in mind I also wanna bring up this little bit from Future State Suicide Squad:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Again Future State is a ‘possible future’ so stuff from it isn’t set in stone, but the idea of ‘she still has his YJ 2019 outfit somewhere’ makes me think it could be something along the lines of like, Clone!Conner finds original Conner and frees him and he gets back his YJ outfit, which could lead to like the imagery on that variant cover/the idea from my very first part of this post where I was talking about Kon being shown in both outfits in different places.

Alternatively entirely from all that, another option is that she maybe got ahold of what was needed to clone Kon, but doesn’t even have the original Kon in her possession. (again with the Future State thing, she could be lying since elsewhere in Future State we did also see a copy of YJ 2019 Kon’s costume in one of the Jon-focused Future State comics in a display case 🤷‍♂️) Which could also lead to that confrontation on the variant cover & the promo art thing... and could also explain why we have seen nothing about anyone looking for him, because in that sort of scenario he wouldn’t have even been missing in the first place.

There’s a lot of possibilities! It’s still too early to solidly know anything, but I feel pretty confident we’re entering another cloning related plot with our Clone Boy so it’s... ya know. Clone time. On the one hand it’s annoying because god we have done clone/multiple Kons plots before. We’ve done them so much.

BUT on the other hand, I think it could be interesting to use this situation to tie into some older stuff from pre-reboot that I can see some connections to, because due to Infinite Frontier altering the world and people’s memories it’s all technically fair game storytelling-wise again (and like, the use of Scavenger specifically in that flashback way above, who’s not a super well known villain in general, makes me think maaaaybe the writer did do some of their Kon homework)

Something also just dawned on me that i’m not quite sure what it means but still is worth mentioning: The Conner here in Suicide Squad is back in his Teen Titans Vol. 3 outfit, and his history as he tells it stops during Teen Titans Vol. 3. And doesn’t... mention when he died? It feels like it... stopped before that, because like I feel if he was telling his life history (even the wiki version LMAO) the part where he died and came back would be pretty important to bring up?? And Nocturna specifically says that he didn’t explain how that stuff from TT Vol. 3 then led to him in his current situation. That’s a pretty big gap (like uhhh everything from resurrection until he got lost on Gemworld + all the rest of the Young Justice 2019 stuff?) So like.. there could be something funky going on here that has to do with that. 

Similarly when he flashes back in Future State: Suicide Squad to his past it also goes right from Teen Titans Vol. 3 to the current Suicide Squad run? Like I get it’s one page so they can’t show that much, but the fact that there’s now two places that flash back to that same specific time period and nothing past it until the Suicide Squad feels just... noticeable! Not concretely indicative of something, but noteworthy.

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Like...this almost has me thinking maybe it could be something where like, they tampered with his dead body and cloned from that? BECAUSE, for those of you who may not be familiar with how Kon’s resurrection (during Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds) worked, when he came back there was time travel involved! He was brought back to life in the future (like. Legion of Superheroes era) because it was a process that took that thousand or so years to work/heal him (essentially because of his hybrid dna the process that healed Clark when he had died back in Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen in the 90s just took a lot longer, but its the same Kryptonian healing chamber thing) meaning when he came back to the present alive again, his dead body was still also in the present just in it’s process of healing. Meaning especially if we’re bringing back stuff from before the reboot, Kon likely has his dead body just vibing out there while he’s goin around living life 🤷‍♂️

SO them doing something related to that could explain the choice to put him back in the T-shirt (since thats what he wore in the era his brain would be caught up to if we’re relating this to when he died) and why he’d recognize himself in a group photo with Bart, Cassie and Tim but maybe not someone like Wallace who didn’t exist back then. I don’t know, this branch of thought is still half baked. Will maybe come back and elaborate on this later. But I’m now really thinking there might be a connection to the early Teen Titans Vol. 3 era specifically because of it being referenced twice in stuff with this Suicide Squad.

ANYWAYS moving on, this is probably a shot in the dark and I only thought of it because I just was reading 90′s Superboy, but right away when thinking about ‘Amanda Waller’ and ‘Cloning Kon’ I was reminded of some stuff about the circumstances around the first clone that was made of Conner: Match.

(Superboy (1994) #35)

Match was created by an organization called ‘The Agenda’, that was after a while primarily under the control of The Contessa, Lex Luthor’s ex-wife, aided by Amanda Spence who had a personal grudge against Kon bc her dad was Paul Westfield the guy Kon was originally cloned from (before the Lex/Clark retcon). They were the big bad guys of an arc called The Evil Factory in Superboy (where Cadmus personnel got replaced with clones) which also then tied into the Sins of Youth event over in Young Justice (Remember how Match was posing as Superboy for a while there? yeah). After those plot lines finished the Agenda was pretty defeated (Amanda Spence was still out there and came back later but still) and... who got their hands on the remaining Agenda tech?

(Superboy (1994) #87)

Why none other than Amanda Waller herself!

If they re-canonized pieces of this (which also tied into Young Justice which ya know, YJ 2019 was all about re-establishing stuff from YJ even before Death Metal happened soooo) it would totally make sense for Waller to have complete access to the exact technology used to clone Conner before. 

Now, a thing to consider here though is what happened to Kon after he’d been cloned that first time, where his DNA got all destabilized by the process (and he needed to go through a procedure with Roxy as a genetic template to keep him together, which was how he got stuck at age 16 for a while). This was something where he was fine for a period of time before the side effects began to kick in. Now, I think it’s worth mentioning that was also back in the days where he was not yet Lex & Clark’s clone, but still Paul Westfield’s. So there could easily be a ‘now that certain Kryptonian genes have kicked in as he got his newer powers it doesn’t destabilize him the same way’ reasoning or something along those lines to avoid this problem. Alternatively, it could be an interesting thing to embrace rather than retcon away, especially if we’ve been seeing Clone Conner in action and Original Conner hasn’t been in our focus, things could be wrong with him that we just don’t know about.

Another branch of thinking that I think is even MORE a shot in the dark but could be interesting (or again even related to what I just said, could be a combo of things) is if this somehow ended up related to those clones that were reverse engineered from the remains of Match from the very end of Teen Titans Vol. 3

(Teen Titans (2003) #99)

All of them were then taken down with Kryptonite and killed in battle (by Rose & Damian) 

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

But like... idk man if Waller got her hands on those corpses or even just the data from Dr. Caligan that he extracted from Match to make them... that could also be a potential way to make some new Conner clones, and that could be why the bio-scan thing at Titans Tower wouldn’t work properly because of the thing he says above about it not being a “complete match’

One thing I don’t think is the case, but has been brought up to me, is stuff with New 52 Kon. I’ve talked extensively about New 52 Kon in recent weeks because I read through all his stuff, but the thing that makes me shy away from him being part of this situation is the fact that... he’s not interchangeable with Kon the way I think some people think he is. He wouldn’t visually be recognized as Original Kon because he is literally on a genetic level a separate person. They’d prob look related, sure, like they’d pass for brothers because they both have Clark’s DNA, but New 52 Kon has Lois’ DNA and Original Kon has Lex’s. New 52 Kon would likely look more like Jon, rather than Kon. Lois specifically commented in an Action Comics issue that Kon had some resemblance to Lex, even. So like, things like Wallace recognizing him or him looking at his own matching reflection alongside the group picture at the Tower... those wouldn’t happen the same way if this was New 52 Kon.

Now I think it coooould theoretically be possible for Waller to have gotten her hands on that future N.O.W.H.E.R.E. cloning tech that had been used to make New 52 Kon, like I wouldn’t rule that out. Because she knows where the remains of their bases are as shown in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #16-17, and like, Harvest is dead so she could easily just send teams out there to gather shit if she wanted. 

Onto some other things I don’t think are actually related but that I was reminded of/wanted to address:

I feel i’d be a bad timkon fan if during all of this discussion of past stories with cloning Kon I didn’t even bring up Tim’s cloning attempt stuff, but I think it would ultimately be unrelated. His tech was stolen from Luthor, and his attempts didn’t succeed because he was trying to build from scratch without Cadmus’ the data about how they altered the DNA from the original process. 

(Teen Titans Vol. 3 #34)

Then that initial cover for the annual really reminded me of part of the Hollow Men story from Superboy Vol. 5 just with like... Kon in a room full of copies of himself. I don’t think this story would be related either because it was more magic Tannarak stuff rather than regular cloning, but ya know. It’s the imagery.

(Superboy Vol. 5 #9)

It also really reminded me of the stuff from Hyper-Tension which was hypertime stuff not cloning but again just... visually.

(Superboy Vol. 4 #62)

In general I don’t think we’re EVER gonna see Black Zero or any of these multiverse Superboys again LMAO.

To try to sum up all of this in a way that might make sense here’s kinda a... flowchart of some of my main ideas for what the cloning situation could be/how the logic could work. Again this is borrowing stuff from across continuities because Infinite Frontier means theoretically anything’s fair game. (Also I don’t think I mentioned this earlier but I do mention it in the chart, but I think it’s also reasonable that Waller could get her hands on Cadmus tech if Cadmus is like properly made canon again. She just has funky government connections!)

Also I just now thought of this now several hours after I already made the chart and I don’t wanna remake it so sorry not incorporating it there but I remembered there was also that bit during House of Kent where Clark took Kon to the Hall of Justice and they were running some tests on him, so I’m thinking it’s also possible Waller got ahold of that data/that might be how she found out about Kon in the first place for this timeline. And they indicated that there was something wrong with him there, where he might eventually lose his powers or something, so maybe she tried to do cloning stuff to be able to have a copy of Superboy in his prime or something??? before that started kicking in. I don’t know, just more things to consider:

(Action Comics (2016) #1028)

ANYWAYS in conclusion: there is clone fuckery of some sort happening, I’m curious where it’s gonna go, and I just want Kon to be okay.

If you actually read this uhm. props to you bc this probably makes no sense to anyone but me its just word vomit <3 

#this is very long! and disorganized! i am sorry #this doesn't have one theory abt things it has like. many #its basically just brainstorming/spitballing ideas #i could also be entirely off base! with much of this! i just feel i need that disclaimer #grandpa max is god? i go to church now #i need a kon talk tag bc i swear i write more analysis stuff like this for him than anyone else

[queenoftheskittleholics]

In Defense of Grace Monroe

I wanted to write a defense of Grace against the common accusations I see from her detractors. Putting this under readmore for length and images. Simon stans will get blocked if they try anything. I will be discussing the numbers, wheelings & denizens, her relationship with Simon, and her conflict between Simon and Hazel.

1. The Numbers Misconception

Grace did not simply make up the idea that numbers equal strength to avoid seeming like she didn’t know anything. We see exactly what led her to this conclusion.

Her encounter with Amelia and the Steward in the Pumpkin Car was just as formative to her Train experience as Simon’s was with the Cat. But most people don’t seem to acknowledge this, despite her going so far as to form the Apex in ‘his’ honor. In Grace’s mind, the Conductor being able to control the Steward was a show of strength, and the high number made a striking impression, like levels on a video game. Her line to Jesse in the Mall Car about high numbers that “This was the Conductor, this is strength.” and telling Hazel she has the highest number just like the True Conductor in the Debutante Ball Car seem to show this basis of her reasoning specifically.

2. Wheeling and Denizens

Many people take Tape!Hazel’s line that “[Simon] didn’t come up with the idea to wheel Denizens on his own.” as admission that Grace talked Simon into wheeling Denizens, but I disagree. For one, it is important to remember that the context is Grace breaking down under a lot of self blame and guilt, most of which admittedly is not unfair. And furthermore, the fact that it does not just say he did not come up with it or that she gave him the idea, makes me think they came up with it together.

And unlike Simon, whose negative experience w the Cat caused him to look badly on not only that relationship but Denizens as a whole, Grace did not have a Denizen companion at all. She tells Hazel as much in the Color Clock Car, saying she has never gotten to know a Denizen because they are unpredictable. This is why when getting to know Tuba and Hazel, Grace realizes she was wrong about them being nonfeeling and unlike them, but Simon refuses to let go of his pain even though he knows it isn’t true.

3. Her relationship with Simon

When I see people claim Grace only used or manipulated Simon, I honestly do not understand.

They were scared and confused 10 year olds alone in a new and dangerous world. She threw herself at a soul-sucking cockroach dog for a kid she didn’t know and comforted him as he cried.

And when they start the Apex, they look to be about 15-16. We can see that their numbers are still relatively low, certainly not up their forearms like they are when we meet them at 18. This indicates that they did not regularly commit more violent activities until later in their journey on the Train.

And when we are introduced to Simon in the Mall Car, the first thing both Jesse and Lake and we the audience learn is that Grace trusts him with her life. 

We see this is true in their dancing together in the Debutante Ball Car and the Jungle Car, where she feels very comfortable around him whether it is dancing together or sleeping next to each other. At the beginning, she does trust him a lot.

And her interactions with him are very different from her interactions with the Apex members she is manipulating. With Hazel and Jesse, we see her overly kindly persona that she uses to recruit people, and that she uses to keep the Apex children listening to her. They have playful banter and insults and inside jokes from  their many years of living together. She is much more genuine and enjoying herself with him at the start.

They ran the Apex as a partnership, as demonstrated by the shot of them descending the escalator together, side by side and on the same page.

And his reaction to her yelling at him after killing Tuba seems to be shock that she is ‘pulling rank’ on him. He is slightly hurt, but this indicates that Grace doing so is not a usual occurrence. This is further implied by him getting upset with her “shutting him out” seeing that as “not acting like she should”. And in Le Chat Chalet Car when she snaps “Do I have to make every decision for you?” Which she immediately regrets, and later apologizes for, it indicates she does not prefer to boss him around and make all the decisions, but work things through together, at least at the start. And besides, Simon is indeed his own person who is capable of making his own choices, and he made bad ones.

That episode also demonstrates that Grace indeed values his support and presence, as shown by her giving him a grateful hug after he reassures her for expressing her worries about him thinking less of her for her number lowering. Due to her loneliness in her early life, Simon is very important to her, and we see her growing angry with his growing cruelty while still trying to keep him with her.

4. Hazel Vs. Simon

The scene where Grace yells at Hazel is difficult, and we see Grace immediately backtrack upon seeing Hazel’s pain and trying to stall leaving to fix it. But why did she do it? Well, if you say she was protecting herself or saving her own skin, that pretty much acknowledges Grace was afraid. And not without reason, as that scene did not happen in a vacuum. Simon has grown increasingly angry and aggressive throughout the book, culminating in him trying to violently attack Amelia, a woman in her 60s.

Grace tries to restrain him but he refuses to quit trying to attack Amelia, only stopping at the shock of the Hazel reveal.

When Hazel asks Grace if she is really going to leave her, she looks back at Simon, clearly considering the possibility of another outburst. And we see that Grace usually keeps her patience with children or other people very well, such as trying obviously not get annoyed at either Hazel or Tuba in the Debutante Ball Car, defending Jesse in the Wasteland Car after he defied her, or trying to calmly ask Lucy what a void was in the New Apex. The only person she gets annoyed mostly is Simon, and she apologizes in Le Chat Chalet Car, wants him to stop being insensitive to Hazel in the Campfire Car, and because he gets aggressive towards her in the Canyon of the Golden Winged Snake Car, which she regrets even if she does not apologize. This makes me think either she was greatly stressed to snap at Hazel or it was a choice out of worry to prevent Simon from getting angry again.

Show writer Lindsay Katai even said that Grace started to be afraid of Simon’s anger. Grace wants to keep them both with her, but that unfortunately is somewhat selfish on her part as clearly being around Simon is not good for Hazel. I will not fault Hazel for removing herself from the situation, because she should not have to deal with that. But from Grace’s perspective, she did not want to lose either of them. 

So that is my long meta on Grace Monroe, hope you enjoyed it.

#infinity train #infinity train book 3 #grace monroe

[mismashedsocks]

 so riordan made a half assed lame excuse on his lazy/racist writing on piper yesterday and on top of that he made another one on samirah and i’m muslim so i am going to talk about it

damn i’m so sorry these people have been pushing you past your comfort zone about your wildly popular racist caricatures of minorities that have great impact on your young, impressionable target audience. while its fine that if he takes a break for his mental health he still needs to deal with these problems you can’t just take a break and hope they go away.

why does he think everyone is bullying him. if they talked in all caps, cussed at you, or didn’t stop bothering you, i’m sorry they’re just trying to get you to realize how racist your books are, which you keep refusing to believe. i can believe that a few of them were doing it for attention, but it couldn’t be the majority. and my god, god forbid people want you to write your books the way you preferred, without racist stereotypes. 🙈

you can set your boundaries but you keep ignoring the people, you don’t listen. like you put yourself out there as a writer you are open to criticism

why does he keep doing this to seem like the good guy. you give excuses and don’t do anything and just say that its up to you, you can think whatever you want 🥰🥰. like its such an obvious excuse not to take any action.

i’m sorry but no matter how many muslims you’ve interacted with you haven’t gotten the full experience and last time i checked teachers aren’t the kids best friends soo uhm. anyways the rest of it is just him telling his experience with muslimah students so its just there.

so uhm you just said your students ‘unwillingly’ become an ambassador to everyone she knew’. and then you went to talk to them about islam to make sure you were TEACHING THEM YOUR SOURCE MATERIAL CORRECTLY. i’m sorry imagine. these are kids not some scholars you go to consult. there are so many muslims all over the internet and youtube sharing their experiences for you to access on how to ‘represent their experience’ correctly. you’re the teacher here. picture this:as a muslilm, i teach at a public school and while teaching about Christianity in class, no i would double check or some dumb shit with the students. like educate yourself i’m sorry. anyways apparently he blames his mistakes on himself then goes on to deny he ever made any mistakes i can’t.

so this is a blatant lie. 99% of muslims i’ve met have never read all of sahih bukhari and sahih muslim. usually only scholars do that when they are studying islam for YEARS. and FIVE different interpretations of the quran on top of that. ok so sahih bukhari is 9 books that are over 300 pages each and sahih musilm is 7 volumes with also about 300+ pages each. and then the english versions of the quran are 600 pages. and he claims he read five of them. i’m so sorry but no he didn’t. he writes books so fast and he released mcga around the time toa was being released almost one book per year so he did not have a lot of spare time. the rest ig i can let slide. also and if he did do all of that why does he make so many mistakes in writing samirah. and even IF you accept his excuses reading ALL of this source material is great for teaching your class or whatever but not for writing a modern day muslim. you don’t need to lie to us rick ❤️

most of this is just describing what she’s like but his writing did also add in the model minority, smart kid trope. like no they don’t have to be a terrorist or a A+ student who is the best at everything. there is a middle ground to their personality. 

i actually used to love his rep in sam. that’s how i got into the series. i saw a hijabi girl on his website. i got excited and read all of his books. i loved piper, leo, hazel, percy, annabeth, sadie, carter, nico, everyone. now that i look back i was younger and didn’t see anything wrong with it back then. its great that he tried to portray minorities but he did it so badly and now is just denying the faults that his now older readers are trying to tell him.

hey, uhm didn’t you read all of sahih bukhari and muslim? hmm i didn’t think so. anyways the way he dealt with it honestly wasn’t that bad. but the whole ‘whoops’. like why does he keep portraying himself as the innocent old white man just trying his best.

honestly how he wrote samirah as a hijabi was the dumbest thing i’ve ever read. its is totally fine if she wasn’t hijabi, many muslim girls aren’t, and that is their choice. but he decided to make her like a weird middle ground. it was so lazy and inconsistent. in the first book she says she wears it when she needs to, like in situations like going to the masjid. this was fine, since many muslim girls do that. then in the next books she wears it all the time except when she’s in valhalla for some reason. hijabi girls take of their scarves when they’re at home or with family, but making her claim the entirety of vallhalla as her family. that was just demeaning and stupid to me. it takes away its value. and i fucking hated that last sentence. for hijabis, their hijab is important and not a toy or weapon or a MAGIC ITEM. and then on top of that she would have to take it of to hide. he could’ve made it anything else. her hijab isn’t some token item istg.

i love how he admits that they are a big problem and abusive and usually engage with child marriages. i’m relatively he doesn’t understand what the people even meant by it. the practice is a problem that isn’t supposed to be seen in a nice light. the only possible way it could be slightly ok is that if ADULTS agree they 100% do not want to choose who they want to get married to and let their parents choose, and both sides agree. samirah was a child and he decided to make her wedding life decided since the age of 12. and it was ok because amir was conventionally attractive and she loved him. WHAT IF SHE DIDNT. this literally is a dangerous arranged marriage. and arranged marriages are not ok, and mostly perpetuated by victims of it who will end up passing it down their family lines. my parents got an arranged marriage and I HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM DISPLAY ANY SIGNS OF AFFECTION. arranged marriages are not a trope that your can turn around to be a quirky personality trait for your characters.

i’m sorry that’s not how arranged marriages work. most likely if she said something her grandparents would have shut her done and continued with the marriage, as that is what you usually happens. do not portray the small amount of consented, ‘happy’ arranged marriages as the majority. it is a huge problem that many desi/middle eastern cultures are trying to erase. even on top of that he writes situations where she’s going to be in trouble for acting up and ‘jeopardizing the marriage agreement’ and that her grandparents think she’s ‘lucky that she could get the fadlan family to agree to marry their son to her’. these statements are often used in forced and dangerous marriages, so don’t try and justify your actions. if you wanted to show traditional customs in a positive light, there are so many richer parts of samirah’s culture you could’ve focused on and you chose arranged marriage. 😻 all you’ve done is given parents and authority figures a westernized resource to justify arranged and forced marriages, especially with the minimal explanation on how the marriage isn’t forced in the actual books. and yes, your books do condone child marriage samirah is clearly deemed into this marriage ever since the young age of 12. she lived her life knowing she would marry amir. no one has only one crush throughout their life. imagine how she would’ve grown up. sorry you only consider opinions that align with those in you mind.

i’m going to be honest i did like that one scene it was written nicely and accurately but the explanation he gives just ruins the entire thing. the way he just if this strikes you as islamophobic, or samirah as a hurtful, uhm no explanation i just disagree 😽. the way you wrote her is a hurtful stereotype sorry you can’t see it.

oops, you did. too bad you don’t want to do anything about it.

why do you think people are painting you in a negative light, so many of your characters are written on hurtful and negative stereotypes. people aren’t painting it that way, you need to calm down w your ego and listen. dang i’m sorry your best is giving half-assed excuses and not actually doing anything. i’m even more sorry people are mad that a highly privileged author that has a lot of influence is done talking about his racist depictions of minorities in his books. 

dang must be lucky to take a break from the social media, imagine what all the minorities you wrote about have to go with everyday weather they are on social media or not. people aren’t bullying you this is valid criticism you refuse to listen to.

fuck you

obviously these are my opinions do not judge every muslim based on what i’ve said come to me if you have a problem with it

anyways support jewish, muslim, black, brown, asian, hispanic, indigenous, lgbtq+, disabled, and other minority authors and creators.

#anti rr #fuck him at this point #samirah al abbas #she deserved so much better #i probably made so many spelling mistakes smh #long post #mcga #rr crit

[fatebreaking-a]

Sorry to bother you but i am out of the loop. What did Riot do with seraphine?

// @crying-elf-lass // First of all - excellent choice in pfp, Marcille is great.

Now, trying to keep as much bias out of my post as possible... ( though there will be some, and I will miss some things! )

There are three parts to consider. Gameplay, narrative, and niche in the world.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

First, we need to talk about the history of Sona in League of Legends.

Narrative & Niche: Sona, as a champion, has existed for many, many, many years. Her lore was 2 paragraphs and she had no short story. Her canon appearances ( excluding an Odssey short story which I will take about later ) were limited to other champion’s stories ( her adoptive mother, Lestara, helped Quinn to become a ranger-knight, she helped Ryze secure a World Rune in Call of Power ). Several years ago, Riot changed the lore of Demacia ( Sona’s current home ) to be one that denies magic. With the addition of petricite, a magic nullifying material, and several changes in lore, Demacia became the host of several magical problems ( dragons, Evelynn, Nocturne, Fiddlesticks ) and a unit of anti-magic specialists ( mageseekers ).

Throughout that time, up until 2 months ago, Sona’s lore did not receive a single meaningful change or update. This is a period of over 5 years, in which one of Demacia’s only mages / magical creatures ( Poppy, Lux, Sona, Shyvana, and later Sylas ) did not get any sort of answer as to what is happening with her. Several other champions did get an explanation of sorts, with some manner of handwaiving - for example, minotaurs are part of the Demacian army, so magical creatures are not out and out excluded. Yordles are known to be seen differently by different people, so Poppy’s existence is also possible to explain ( we learned this with an interaction between Ziggs and Jinx in Zaun ).

This left Sona writers in a general state of confusion. Is Sona in jail? Is Sona a registered mage? Not to mention that Sona left Ionia ( where a war between Noxus and Ionia occurred ) and the timing of that was unspecified.

Which led to a giant gap in terms of “what is this champion doing and what is her situation”. And each of us tried to fill that gap in our own ways. Some of us had Sona leave Demacia, some had her retreat into her mansion and play less music, some had her be defiant, and so on. Because the last thing we learned was that she was in Ionia, helping Ryze with the World Rune, some people put her in Ionia semi-permanently.

And we also had to contend with the existence of Sylas, who flipped Demacia on its head and caused something of a mage hunt. The finer details of that I exclude, it’s enough to say that certain mages were rounded up and put in prison where once they were exiled, and Lux helped some magically inclined individuals escape. There’s a nuanced conflict there between several members of Demacia ( Garen, Jarvan, Lux, Xin Zhao, Tianna, etc ) but getting into that is not the point of this.

We still didn’t know anything about Sona. So Sona writers and players and enthusiasts tried their very best to fill in the gap with what we did know, often incidentally. We did know that Sona was once in Ionia, that the Ionia-Noxus war happened, that she moved to Demacia, and that she is a famous musician with a magical instrument. Prior to the removal of the Institute of War ( a part of lore which said that ‘summoners’ were real and nations used Summoners + Champions to settle conflicts ), Sona was known globally and was basically Runeterra’s #1 musician when it comes to the etwahl, perhaps more. We also know that Sona is an extremely empathetic person, and her music is borderline spellbinding, to the point where it was easy to guess that she could affect people’s emotions and was an empath. None of that was out and out confirmed, but it was easy to make that logical conclusion.

Very recently, Sona’s lore changed. In it, a lot changed. We learned that she left Ionia with others, rather than just alone and with her etwahl, and it was to escape the Ionia conflict ( not because Lestara, her adoptive mother, wished to possess the fabled etwahl ). Essentially, this new lore painted Sona far more as a war refugee, and painted Lestara in a far better light as well. Along with this lore update/rework, we also got a short story ( that still left what she’s doing now up in the air!) 

However, this came after a several year wait. And in that time, Sona enthusiasts had no choice but to come up with answers to all their burning questions by themselves. One Sona writer followed the ‘Sona is the aspect of harmony’ track, another followed the ‘music as a means of community togetherness’ track, another put her as an oversensitive empath who uses music to heal the pain of her people - and we all tend to agree on one point - Sona is an extremely empathetic person who uses her music for the good of others.

And as we waited, several other champions appeared, some of them overlapping with Sona’s music theme. Bard, the wanderer who listens to the songs of creation itself. Jhin, the murderous theater performer and assassin who believes the world his stage. Rakan, the battle dancer who uses the songs and rhythms of people to fight and move before they do. And Sona’s niche, what was unique about her, grew smaller and smaller.

Finally, we had something that felt unique about Sona.

Gameplay & Design: 

Sona as a champion has existed a very long time... And is the aura and music champion. Her q does some damage, her w shields and heals ( and reduces damage with her passive ), and her e speeds people up ( and slows with her passive ), while her r is a rectangular ult wave - thinner than Nami’s, but still relatively wide. The kit as a whole is pretty simple, but it has a history.

Sona players are... innovators. They like to do things like buy Kirchei’s shard because it’s most efficient, or take Sona mid, top, jungle, and adc. And over the last two years, Sona has received nerf after nerf after nerf saying, “No, stay in the support role”. You can still pull off certain lanes, but it’s extremely difficult because her aura abilities give you mana back if you tag an ally... making them difficult to use in a solo lane, or to roam alone.

Also, as one of the older crew of champions ( pre Jinx when Riot started using other body types for women ), her figure is... well, she’s got an hourglass figure, and her dress does not hide her breasts much at all. And it’d been like this for ages and ages, which meant that in League’s toxic culture, being a Sona one-trick led to a variety of hateful comments which I won’t repeat here.

Sona has a history of being treated like either an overpowered support or a terrible one, in part because she lacks any form of CC before 6 ( barring her e chord passive ).

So if you’re a Sona enthusiast, a big part of you wants Sona to have agency and not just be a pretty face damsel in distress. Even I, who have a second blog where I write Sona as an extremely soft character, don’t have her be a damsel in that interpretation of her. This is made worse by the community and a lot of art that ships her with men who treat her badly, along with an endless slew of adult images that degrade her, and often make fun of her disability - that she can’t speak. It’s sad and it’s degrading. And even within the last few years, she was written in a story in the Odyssey skin line...  as a prize for Kayn to take. That is an official Riot story which essentially treated her like a prize to capture for Kayn’s own goals - not as a person, but as a carrier of a key, as an object, and she lacked agency. Thankfully over the last few years, Riot has started giving women more agency, but... it’s been a problem for a long time.

Recently, along with the lore rework, we got Sona in a skin that makes her look and feel like a badass - PsyOps, her legendary skin. She breaks free of her confines and rages against those in her way in a very Syndra-like fashion, uncaged. And this was very cool.

And now, we have Sona where she is now.

---------------------------------------------------

Seraphine as a champion has recently been revealed, along with her abilities and lore.

Narrative & Niche: 

Seraphine’s lore is essentially this.

She, born of Zaunite parents, went up to Piltover. She was able to hear the souls and songs of people ( magical empath ) and hoped to unite those around her with her music. Then, she went down to Zaun, a city full of impoverished and disenfranchised peoples, to try and do the same thing.

In other words, “This champion uses music as a means of bringing people together. She aims to aid the disenfranchised.” There is nuance there, and it’s not the exact same as Sona, but the similarity is striking.

Furthermore, several key points in her lore are things that Sona writers have already imagined for themselves. A hypersensitivity to others, for example. Having such a strong sense of hearing that she can hear things others can’t. Sona is known to be able to essentially echolocate ( or at least, she had been known to do so in her older lore ). 

I will admit that the idea of ‘hypersensitive hearing or empathy’ is not the sole domain of Sona writers. Athena Cykes of Ace Attorney has a similar problem ( as revealed in her backstory ). And similarly, she wore a special device to help her filter that out. It’s not a completely unique idea, but again - the problem is striking. Sona, a highly sensitive and empathetic person, was often interpreted to be too sensitive to others. And now it’s on Seraphine, in her lore.

Seraphine’s whole lore is that she’s essentially an extremely popular and famous musician who brings people together with music... and that’s what Sona was.

She was all those things.

So to some people ( myself included ) it feels as though Riot has reworked Sona’s lore so they can give some of the overlap to Seraphine. Empathy / soul-seeing ( a Morgana, Kayle, Neeko, and Sona special... ) and the whole music thing...

And this is leading people to say, repeatedly, “This is just Sona 2.0.”

For Sona enthusiasts who have been waiting for Sona to get content or lore for years and years, this feels like a slap in the face.

Gameplay & Design:

Seraphine’s abilities are as follows.

When she uses 3 abilities, her next ability is empowered with additional effects ( essentially repeating ). Her q does damage ( based on missing health ) and is a skillshot, her w shields and speeds up people ( and heals herself if she’s already shielded ), and her e slows people ( and roots if they’re already slowed ), while her R is a rectangular ult that charms those hit and makes them walk towards her briefly.

That’s really similar to Sona.

When Sona uses 3 abilities, her next auto-attack is empowered with additional effects. Her q does damage. Her w shields and heals people ( and reduces damage output from an enemy if her passive is up). And her e speeds allies up ( and slows an enemy if her passive is up ). And her R is a rectangular ult that stuns those hit and makes them dance in place.

The similarity is striking. Seraphine does lack the ability to heal allies ( on first glance, I may have misread ), but she looks extremely similar to Sona... which is a frustration.

This year, we got Yone, Yasuo’s brother. And the reasoning behind this, when most other champions are written to give unique inputs/outputs, is that this is an alternative choice for Yasuo players when Yasuo is banned and will improve game health.

However, I suspect the same logic does not hold for Sona and Seraphine. Sona is in a class of enchanters, where several champions can do things similar to what she does already ( with some differences, of course! ). If you can’t play Sona, you can play Karma, you can play Taric, etc - not the same, but similar. It’s my suspicion that with the introduction of Seraphine, we will instead have the problem of Akali/Diana several years ago - these champions are so similar that whichever one is stronger will be played while the other one will be ignored completely.

Furthermore, Seraphine got a lot of attention. A lot of attention. She has a fake twitter account. 

And she is releasing with two skins, one of which is an ultimate. Release. For Sona players who only just got their legendary ( with the understanding that DJ Sona exists ), this feels like a slap in the face. It’s easy to feel overshadowed, and as much of the community is saying right now, this is ‘Sona 2.0′

Now some people are saying, ‘maybe Sona gets reworked’, but that will not be a great answer. If you like playing Sona’s current playstyle, swapping to Seraphine because Riot changed Sona completely will be alienating, and only exacerbate the feeling that Seraphine is replacing and overshadowing Sona.

But it gets a little worse than that too. Seraphine is designed for mid/support, to be played in both lanes. However, Sona enthusiasts have received nerf after nerf to Sona in other lanes, which only makes this hit that much harder. There’s a theory that Seraphine’s kit is essentially a scrapped Sona rework kit. If Seraphine’s build is the same as Sona’s, it will be... tragic. It will be disappointing...

And it’s already exhausting.

Neither Sona nor Seraphine enthusiasts are without the metaphorical gutpunch, and this is likely to divide the community even further. And heaven forbid you like both.

For Sona enthusiasts, this is a slap in the face. Our favorite champion being overshadowed and overhyped by another who gets so much on release, when we’ve longed for content for years is hurtful. 

For Seraphine enthusiasts, this is a punch in the gut, for seeing their champion essentially be treated like a clone of another is unkind. Any nuance or effort put into Seraphine will be drowned underneath ‘Sona 2.0′. And the overlap between both champions and their respective abilities and character traits will wear anyone out.

And that’s not fair to anyone.

( Disclaimer: I wasn’t able to stay 100% unbiased, but if you read all of that, thank you. )

#long post tw #ooc #crying elf lass #//you can reblog this if you want but don't come fight me about it

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: the forest is your only escape from the everyday troubles with your family until you find danger lurking behind the trees. or rather, danger finds you. your fateful encounter with the vampire ravn leaves you wishing for a different life. you strike an unexpected deal with the stranger that will soon turn into something more…

pairing: vampire!ravn x reader

genre: vampire!au, humour, fluff

warnings: unresolved sexual tension, a lot of shakespeare lmao

word count: 2.2k

part one 🌙 part two 🌙 part three 🌙 part five 🌙 part six  🌙 part seven 🌙 part eight 🌙 part nine 🌙 part ten🌙 part eleven 🌙part twelve 🌙 epilogue

A month after you started living in Ravn’s castle and you were getting anxious to go out. Not that you weren’t doing fine inside. The vampire was treating you great and you were happy to read books together, feed each other (literally) and have interesting conversations. However, you missed the fresh air outside, you missed just walking around aimlessly and wandering to new places. You didn’t want to risk your parents spotting you so the village was out of the question. The forest, though…

You wondered how to bring it up. Ravn had initially said that he doesn’t expect you to stay trapped in his castle forever, but he never mentioned it after. Maybe, he enjoyed just chilling at home. You did, too. But your adventurous spirit was eager to try something new.

As you were lost in thoughts, Ravn touched your shoulder and you jumped at the sudden contact.

“Sorry, did I frighten you?” he asked gently and sat down next to you on the couch.

“N-no, it’s fine, I was just thinking.”

“You do seem a bit antsy. Anything bothering you?”

“Why? Everything is peachy,” you quickly responded, because you still hadn’t figured out how to ask Ravn if it was okay to go out without upsetting him. You didn’t want him to think that you were ungrateful for everything he had done for you.

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N,” Ravn said in a serious tone, which made shivers run down your spine, reminding you of the first time you met him. “I can’t take that.”

“I’m s-sorry,” you whispered. “I was…hoping we could go out sometime? But I didn’t want to seem unappreciative of your efforts to make me feel at ease. Which is why I had no idea how to ask for it. I’m so sorry.”

Ravn smiled softly.

“Is that it? You didn’t have to lie. I told you that I won’t keep you prisoner, didn’t I?”

You nodded slowly.

“I know you did, but still, I’m so used to being a burden that I don’t know how to act around…around someone like you.”

“A vampire?” Ravn laughed ironically.

“No. Around someone who doesn’t judge everything I do or say.”

“Oh,” Ravn was surprised at how you viewed him. He was supposed to be the monster in the story. So, why did you treat him like a saviour of some sort?

“I mean it,” you insisted once you noticed how unsure he was.

He shook his head. This emotion thing was too new and too scary for him and he didn’t know how to deal with it.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Maybe the forest?” you asked quietly.

Ravn was shocked at your choice.

“Haven’t you been there a lot? Don’t you want to try something new?” he suggested casually.

“As long as it’s not anywhere near my parents, I’m game,” you chuckled.

“Do you want me to surprise you or would you rather know where I’m taking you?” Ravn teased, a wonderful idea already forming in his mind.

“Surprise me, then,” you lifted your chin and looked at him boldly.

“You trust me?” he repeated the question you had so far responded to negatively.

“I do, actually,” you decided to be honest for once, because he had warned you not to lie to him ever again. He was obviously taken aback by your answer.

“You stupid lamb,” Ravn chuckled and placed your hands around his neck. Then, wrapped his arms around you and lifted you up. “Hold on tight.”

And he began running at a speed that shouldn’t have been humanly possible. But yet again, he was no human. At one point the accelerated motion made you so sick that you closed your eyes and hid your head in his chest. You had no idea where you were going but the realization that it didn’t matter amazed you. He didn’t scare you. But this terrifying journey did. You probably should have warned him you had never travelled with anything faster than a bike. You had spent your entire life in your small village and the forest nearby. You were pretty sure you would pass out soon, but before that happened, Ravn stopped running.

“You may open your eyes.”

You did as he said and looked around. The first thing you noticed was how big everything around you was. The buildings, the towers, the cars, the bridges, the river. How…magnificent. And not in the way his castle was. Ravn’s home felt familiar in a way you couldn’t quite put into words. This place, wherever it was, felt so strange. But in a good way.

“Where are we?” you murmured nervously.

“Can’t you tell?”

You shook your head in embarrassment.

“Welcome to London,” Ravn informed you of your current whereabouts.

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope,” he laughed. “I thought you were into Shakespeare. How can you not recognize where we are?”

“I only managed to borrow and read some of his plays in my village. I’ve never seen…”

“Pictures of London?” Ravn helped you out when he saw you were struggling to find the right words.

You nodded, suddenly feeling intimidated by the vampire’s vast knowledge of the word.

 “I’ll be your guide, then,” Ravn offered you his hand like a gentleman. “Do you want to visit the Globe Theatre first? It’s a reconstruction of-“

“I know what it is,” you responded. “Again, I haven’t seen pictures, but I read about it in one of the introductions to the book of plays.”

Ravn smiled proudly.

“That’s my girl,” he smirked.

First, he’d called you his human and now this? You could swear Ravn was going to kill you. Not with his fangs but his words.

The two of you spent the morning visiting many interesting places. Starting from the Globe Theatre, where Ravn showed you around like an expert, pointing out curious facts about Shakespeare that got you staring like a wide-eyed puppy. He also led you to a couple of lovely vintage bookshops and insisted on buying you some of Shakespeare’s plays you hadn’t read.

“But you have these already in your library!” you reasonably argued.

“Yeah, but I want you to have them. Besides, they’re different editions.”

“Ravn…you really don’t have to,” you were ashamed that he was spoiling you so openly.

“Y/N…please, let me,” Ravn whispered in your ear. It was like he was asking you to get him something and not the other way round.

You finally conceded and once the two of you left the bookshop, you found yourself clutching a paper bag with Shakespeare plays. You weren’t sure how to thank him properly for doing this for you and you couldn’t exactly offer him to drink from you in such a public place, so you did the one thing that came to mind. You lifted yourself on your toes and gave him a quick but heartfelt kiss on his cheek. Ravn seemed flustered and you could swear you saw his usually pale skin turn red for the briefest of seconds.

“Thank you,” you told him, your smile full of gratitude and affection.

“It’s nothing,” Ravn coughed and suddenly found the ground beneath you very amusing. You smiled when you reached the conclusion that he could get so easily embarrassed.

“It means everything to me,” you confessed. “No one has ever given me such a precious gift.”

“Come on, we still have many places to see,” Ravn grabbed your free hand and pulled you along.

You were lucky enough to see a couple of museums associated with famous British writers. The afternoon was dedicated to the more “basic tourist destinations” as Ravn called them such as the Big Ben, Tower Bridge and the River Thames. Everything was so grand that you couldn’t help staring at it like a lost puppy. Finally, as the sun was setting, Ravn suggesting going to the London Eye, which was most magnificent at night. Its lights shining through the dark, you were completely awestruck. Suddenly, you remembered a story you must have heard around the village.

“Wait, how did you survive throughout the day?”

 Ravn laughed.

“Funny, it took you so long to notice. And if you’re referencing the foolish myth that the sun harms vampires, fear not, my lady, I am perfectly immune to daylight.”

You were relieved to hear that but a large portion of your mind was choosing to focus on the part where Ravn called you my lady, which was honestly making things to your heart that you couldn’t quite control or comprehend.

“I’m sorry for being such a dim-witted person,” you looked down in shame.

“You’re the brightest person I’ve ever talked to,” Ravn reassured you.

You faced him in the dark; the London Eye lights were giving his features a mystical, supernatural glow. He was so beautiful. You wanted to trace your fingertips down his porcelain skin and tell him how much you ached to touch him. It was insane, you knew. He was supposed to embody everything little kids were taught to fear, every dark fairytale, every warning whispered before midnight, to force the kids to finally go to bed or the scary vampire would take them away. But he was nothing like the stories. In the brief time of your acquaintance you’d seen nothing but tenderness. Who were you supposed to believe? These foolish myths or your own eyes, your mind and your heart?

“Shall we?” Ravn urged you to approach the London Eye, thus, breaking the spell he held over you. You followed him in a rush.

“Oh no,” you mumbled, pointing to a sign. “It says here it’s closed.”

Ravn smiled devilishly.

“When has that ever stopped me before?”

“Ravn…what are you planning?” you asked cautiously, but it was already too late.

His hands were already on you and the next second you had somehow ended up on top of the London Eye, with a view to the whole city, its lights making it look even more beautiful at night.

“This is…insane,” you gasped, holding tightly onto his shirt for support.

“Yeah.”

“Bite me,” you requested out of nowhere, looking into his dark eyes.

“W-what?” Ravn choked.

“Bite me, so I know I’m not dreaming.”

He laughed, amused by your reaction.

“If I bite you, we’ll both fall from here.”

You scoffed lightly.

“Thus with a bite I die,” you joked, slightly paraphrasing Romeo’s last words.

“Rawr,” Ravn teased.

You looked around the city street lights. Everything seemed so tiny from up here. And there you were, a human and a vampire on top of the world. It felt surreal.

“It’s so beautiful,” you said, completely stunned by the view.

“It really is,” Ravn confirmed, only you had no idea it wasn’t the city he was staring at…

🌙🌙🌙

Once you were back in Ravn’s castle, you walked to your room in a daze, still finding it hard to believe how you’d spent the day. But the paper bag with Shakespeare plays in your hand was the material proof that it had, in fact, been real. Ravn followed you silently and the minute your back hit the bed, he tucked you in gently.

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Aren’t you hungry?” you asked sleepily.

You were so exhausted from the journey and you still found enough energy to care for his needs. Ravn couldn’t believe he’d met such a selfless, precious human.

“I can manage a couple more hours,” he chuckled.

“You’ve given me so much more than I deserve,” you murmured weakly.

“That’s not true,” Ravn said. “You deserve all the stars and the moon.”

“O, swear not by the moon, th’inconstant moon,” you were still able to recite Shakespeare despite being so tired and it was only fitting, considering today’s adventures.

“What shall I swear by?” Ravn played along and you could feel yourself falling, not only asleep.

“Swear by thy gracious self and I’ll believe thee.”

🌙🌙🌙

You woke up to the smell of something delicious. Eggs? Bacon? What was this enticing odour? You hurriedly put on a robe and ran down the stairs and towards the kitchen. You were struck to find Ravn cooking human food!

“What are you up to?” you asked, sneaking up behind him. To your further astonishment, he hadn’t heard you, maybe because he’d been so focused on the task at hand.

“Nooo, you should go back to bed!” Ravn scolded you. “You ruined the surprise.”

“This all for me?” you inquired curiously and wrapped your hands around his waist, which made Ravn jump in shock.

“Duh,” he replied. “I can’t eat that.”

“So, you’re just fattening me up so that you can eat me later?” you admonished him playfully.

“Oh, no, you’ve uncovered my evil plans!” Ravn groaned dramatically.

“What shall we do, then? Do you think I’ll be so easily tempted?” you continued to joke around and ran your fingers down his back, making him slightly tense under your timid touch.

“I think,” he started. “That after you try my eggs, you’ll be begging me for more.”

“Yeah?” you giggled at the double entendre. “We’ll have to see about that.”

You were still trying to distract him from cooking when Ravn turned around swiftly, grabbing your hands.

“Don’t play with me,” he hissed, aiming to sound threatening but you were having too much fun to feel any fear.

“Why not?” you pouted adorably.

“Because you’re making it really hard for me to resist you.”

“You can have me whenever you wish,” you pointed out. That was your arrangement, after all.

“Not like that, I can’t,” Ravn whispered, almost too quiet to hear. Key word: almost. “The eggs are ready. Eat up.”

You didn’t question it, because you were too hungry to care what exactly he meant by that.

To be continued…

#oneus #ravn #ravn x reader #twilight #oneus fanfic #kim youngjo #fluff #vampire au #ravn fanfic #vampires #kim youngjo x reader #writing

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

wendy’s great big pirates of the caribbean fic rec list

Hello, friends!  I’ve been meaning to make a Pirates fic rec list for years and the day has finally come.  This list is obviously in no way exhaustive and is very much indicative of my personal biases (*cough* lots of Norrington *cough*), but I can heartily recommend every fic that made this list and I hope you all enjoy it.  Making this was a labor of love and I would be thrilled to hear your thoughts on any you choose to read (though you should leave a kind comment for the author first)!

Other notes: I collected the bulk of these years ago, so there are a lot on FFnet and I have tried my best to screen them for various content warnings.  I believe only two fics on this list are explicit and are marked as such.  There is precious little slash on this list since that’s just not what I tended to read at the height of my Pirates phase; my apologies.

Under a cut to spare your dashes from this monster of a post.

“Mutiny on the Dauntless” by Marnie - Governor Swann and Lieutenant Norrington narrowly skirt disaster at the hands of a ruthless captain and dangerous crew on the crossing from England. [19k words. No ships. Warnings: seasickness, battle violence, minor character death, semi-graphic naval discipline.]

THE HONORAT COLLECTION in (hopefully) chronological order.  This author is my uncontested favorite Pirates of the Caribbean fic writer and I’m forever grateful to them.  Here’s to you, @honorat!

“Here’s Luck To You” - A collection of drabbles about Jack and Bootstrap Bill’s friendship, written in late 2005. [6k. Mind any posted warnings.]

“Homecoming” - Author’s summary: The young Captain Norrington has a rare moment alone with his beloved ship.  [1k.  No ships but the sailing kind.  No warnings.]

“Daring Rescue, Daring Escape” - A narration of Elizabeth's rescue following her tumble off the battlement and of Jack's attempted escape afterward.  [7k.  Can be read as Sparrabeth.  No warnings.]

“Worthy of His Steel” - Picks up where DR,DE left off, then flashes back to Will’s apprenticeship with Mr. Brown.  [44k.  Light Willabeth.  Mind any warnings: I remember minor character death, alcoholism, and general angst.]

“A Bargain At Any Price” - Elizabeth reflects on James’ interrupted marriage proposal.  [968 words.  Unrequited Norribeth.  No warnings.]

“Marooned” - A movie novelization of the time Jack and Elizabeth spent on Rumrunner’s Isle.  (If you haven’t seen the deleted scenes from CotBP, they’re now required viewing: Part 1, Part 2.)  [28k.  Can be read as Sparrabeth.  Warnings: alcohol; discussion of past injuries including burns, a brand, and a gunshot; discussion of death, murder, and suicide (latter related only to marooning and not seriously entertained or acted upon); mind any others.]

“Aboard the Dauntless” - Takes place directly after Marooned.  More movie/deleted scene novelization.  [20k.  Can be read as Sparrabeth and/or (unrequited) Norribeth.  Mind any warnings.]

“No Mercy” - Set aboard the Dauntless just after the battle at Isla de Muerta.  Have you ever been unreasonably hecked up by the sailor who rang the bell when he spotted zombie pirates?  I have because I’m Like That but now you can be too!  [1k.  No ships.  Warnings: blood, minor character death, funeral, survivor’s guilt, mention of execution by hanging.]

“For Remembrance” - Elizabeth visits Jack in prison the day before his pending execution.  [2k.  Can be read as Sparrabeth.  Warnings: brief mention of unsanitary prison conditions; death tokens; discussion of death, murder, and execution by hanging.]

“Balance of Justice” - The same night, Norrington struggles with the idea of Jack’s pending execution.  [990 words.  No ships.  Warnings: mentioned minor character death, survivor’s guilt, discussion of execution by hanging.]

“Crossing the Bar” - My all-time favorite PotC fanfic.  After the events of CotBP, Norrington thinks he has Jack cornered, but the pirate has other ideas.  A story of truly literary proportions ensues. [156k.  Canon divergent: written pre-DMC.  Light Jack/Anamaria.  Warnings: battle injuries, period-accurate first aid, minor character death. Other warnings posted in fic.]

“Just Between Us Dying Gods” -  Jack’s POV, takes place on the island of the Pelegostos just prior to Will's arrival.  [1k.  No ships.  Warnings: cannibalism, canon-typical ethnocentrism.]

“Bits of Shine” - A collection of drabbles (in the classic 100-word sense) spanning Pirates 1-3.  [14k.  Assorted canon ships.  Mind any posted warnings.]

“Christmas Reunion” - Author’s description: A Christmas reunion of several beloved characters set post-AWE. Jack's POV. Entirely fluffy.  [2k.  Willabeth.  No warnings.]

SCRUFFINGTON ANGST - Me, aged 15: but sir that’s my emotional support Good-ish Man Brought Low By Hubris (who am I kidding, that hasn’t changed a bit).  As you would expect, general warnings for this section might include minor character death, survivor’s guilt, self-hatred, alcohol abuse, unsanitary conditions, etc.  If you love Tortuga-related angst, this section is for you!  If you don’t go for whump and other unpleasant things, scroll on.

“Seven Deadly Sins: James Norrington” by Edoraslass - Classic drabble format, exactly what it says on the bottle.  Follows James’ DMC arc beginning in Tortuga.  [711 words.  No ships.  See tags on AO3.]

“Three Days” by geekmama - Several scene narrations following James from the pig sty to Isla Cruces.  Smelly bastard man.  [1k.  Several unrequited ships.  Warnings: unsanitary, alcohol abuse.]

“Interregnum: Icarus” by ConcertiGrossi - Follows James all the way from the hurricane to Tortuga, with an epilogue just after delivering the Heart to Beckett.  I dislike headcanons about Norrington ever employing sex workers - it seems very out-of-character to me - but other than that I stand by this fic.  Angst alert.   [16k.  Canon-divergent only if you read Sins of the Father.  Referenced unrequited Norribeth.  Warnings: near-drowning, vomit, mass minor character death, implied (but ultimately untrue) medium character death, funerals, survivor’s guilt, self-hatred, unsanitary, coughing, nightmares, pregnancy mention, parental death, under-eating, alcohol abuse, referenced suicide, suicidal ideation.]

“Birthday Wishes” by YouCantGetThereFromHere - A one-shot AU in which James has a twin brother and they celebrate their thirtieth birthdays, one in England, the other in Tortuga.  [4k.  Referenced OCxOC ship in the first half.  Warnings: alcohol abuse, self-hatred.]

“Eye of the Storm” by Edoraslass - Tortuga barmaid Kate is intrigued by the island’s newest barfly and strikes up a sort of friendship with Norrington until he moves on.  [4k.  No ships.  See tags on AO3.]

“Oil and Wine” by Argyle - Norrington’s descent during his time on Tortuga.  Everything comes with a price and a familiar face dogs his steps.  [500 words.  Norribeth.  See tags on AO3.]

“Absence and Memory” by Meddow - Post-CotBP, Elizabeth reflects on her relationship with Norrington over the years.  [3.7k.  Norribeth.  No warnings.]

“Penance More Will Do” by Meddow - Set directly after the hurricane.  While a wounded James is adrift at sea, he is visited by Hector Barbossa, who gives him a choice on behalf of Calypso.  [5.7k.  No ships.  Warnings: blood, vomit.]

“A Song for the Wretched and the Wrecked” by jadeddiva - Post-CotBP AU in which Will runs off to sea and Elizabeth consents to marry James after all.  They have a lot of growing to do, but it ends well.  [6.5k.  Norribeth.  No warnings.]

“Jack Sparrow’s Black Pearl” by Zath_Chauvert - A filk song in which Elizabeth and Will discuss Jack to the tune of “Tango: Maureen”.  [468 words.  Willabeth, J/W/E if you’re not a coward.  No warnings.]

“Of How a Lieutenant died at Sea” by YouCantGetThereFromHere - Foregoing the ending he's given in OST, Lt. Theodore Groves instead dies in the wreckage of the Endeavour in AWE and briefly greets Will in the afterlife.  [703 words.  No ships.  Warnings: implied major character death.]

THE ERINYA COLLECTION (I forgot that I saved a ton from this author as well!  Not arranged in any particular order.)

“Curiosity” - Elizabeth reflects on her growing feelings for Jack during DMC.  [828 words.  Sparrabeth.  Warnings: alcohol.]

“Sacrifice” - More Sparrabeth UST, Elizabeth’s POV.  [527 words.  Sparrabeth.  No warnings.]

“One Shot” - A collection of PotC drabbles, all written pre-AWE.  [6k.  Various pairings.  Warnings posted in fic.]

“The Game” - Jack and Tia Dalma play cards.  [600 words.  Can be read as Jack/Tia Dalma.  No warnings.]

“Frayed” - Will and Elizabeth, post-DMC, semi-compliant with AWE, but angstier.  I’m afraid this one isn’t very kind to Will but it sets up this author’s character dynamics/reasons for Sparrabeth.  [1k.  Willabeth, implied Sparrabeth.  Warnings: very poor communication.]

“Something Rich and Strange” - A Will/Tia Dalma one-shot, of all things.  A touch of destiny, indeed.  Written pre-AWE based on fan speculation.  [2k.  Canon-divergent.  Will/Tia Dalma, background Sparrabeth.  PG-13.]

“Ocean Heart” - Post-AWE, Elizabeth is visited by Calypso on that lonely beach.  [1k.  Implied Willabeth.  No warnings.]

“The Pirate’s Progress” - Post-DMC, Jack takes a jaunt through the afterlife, featuring all sorts of fun mythology/folklore.  [10k.  I’m gonna be real with y’all, I don’t remember if there’s anything shippy or triggery but I don’t think so?  Implied major character death I guess but he got better]

“Worlds Enough, And Time” - Futuristic AU in which Jack and Elizabeth both partook of the Fountain of Youth.  Our beloved pirates...IN SPAAAAACE.  Angst with a happier ending.  [3k.  Sparrabeth, implied Willabeth.  Canon-divergent in multiple ways.  Warnings: alcohol, discussions of death, suicidal ideation, referenced minor character death.]

“Janus and the Prodigal” - A conversation between Jack and Teague, a few years post-AWE.  [1k.  Can be read as Sparrabeth.  No warnings.]

“At Peace” by Rising Waters - Author’s summary: Elizabeth has been faithful for the allotted ten years, so Will is free of the Dutchman—but he is still plagued by thoughts of a man whose death he feels responsible for: James Norrington.  [1k.  Willabeth, unrequited Norribeth.  Warnings: referenced character death.]

“Second Chances” by geekmama - AU in which James was only wounded by Bootstrap, not killed, and Will drops him off at Shipwreck Cove to be with Jack and Elizabeth for the next ten years.  Fluff all around.  [1k.  Willabeth, can be read as Sparrington if you’re not a coward.  No warnings.]

“For Honour A Heart’s Demise” by Meddow - Another AU in which James is only wounded aboard the Flying Dutchman, only this time he gets to partake in the rest of AWE and becomes captain of the Dutchman instead of Will.  A goddess is defied and everything makes sense.  [10k.  Willabeth, unrequited Norribeth.  Warnings: brief suicidal ideation, survivor’s guilt, grievous bodily harm, major character death (but he gets better).]

“Between Wind and Water” by rexluscus - Author’s description: “England and Spain are at war, and Norrington needs a quick solution to the Jack Sparrow problem. Meanwhile, Jack discovers that the Caribbean he once knew is gone. The deal they make could solve both their troubles, or it might be the worst mistake of their lives.  This story is AU after the first film (sequels never happened). It's an experiment in dropping POTC characters into an actual historical event: the Battle of Cartagena de Indias in 1741.”  [90.3k.  Sparrington.  See tags on AO3.]

“betwixt the devil and the deep sea” by notbecauseofvictories - A character study of Jack Sparrow in an AU with angels and demons.  [2k.  No ships.  See tags on AO3.]

“coda” by notbecauseofvictories - Elizabeth during her time as the Pirate King.  [1k.  Willabeth, Sparrabeth.  See tags on AO3.]

FICS I HAVE NOT YET FINISHED but would nevertheless like to recommend:

The “Rash Actions” series by @blanketed-in-stars​ - I’ve been meaning to finish this for 7000 years but I thoroughly enjoyed the early chapters!  Nicole is a wonderful writer and is doing the Lord’s work in writing quality Turrington content.  [147k.  James/Will.  See tags on AO3.]

“In Service to the King” by sleepylotus/@apirateslifeforme123​ - An AU in which Elizabeth finds James in Tortuga after she becomes the Pirate King.  I loved the first few chapters!  [31.7k.  Norribeth, Sparrabeth.  Explicit.  WIP.  See tags on AO3.]

OTHER LINKS SINCE I HAVE YOU HERE

Curse of the Black Pearl early screenplay (first draft)

Dead Man’s Chest screenplay (final production draft)

At World’s End early screenplay (leaked draft)

Deleted scenes: (CotBP above in Marooned) DMC, AWE

#pirates of the caribbean #potc #fanfiction #fic #fic recs #willabeth #sparrabeth #norribeth #jack/anamaria #sparrington #turrington #tortuga #holy god this is long #i hope this posts #masterpost #long post

[thegizka]

Swift as Wind, Soft as Shadow

Chapter 5:  Lessons Learned

Tragedy echoes in the halls of the Nara home.  Temari isn’t sure what she can do about it, but she knows she’s going to try and make it better anyway.

Inspired by ShikaTema Week 2019 Day 4:  Tutoring and Writer’s Month 2019 Day 2:  Hurt/Comfort.

Note:  I do not own any aspect of Naruto.

Read it on Ao3.

“Temari.”  Yoshino blinked in surprise.  This had been an unexpected trip to the Leaf, but Temari had still made time to visit the Naras.  If she was being honest, her main motive for coming was this unofficial social visit.

When the Kazekage’s office received the report detailing the Leaf’s plan to lure out and take down the Akatsuki agents, they had debated whether to send Sand shinobi for support for a long time.  With Gaara’s abduction still fresh in her memory, Temari had been eager to repay the Leaf for their help, but there was a risk that mobilizing their own shinobi would alert the Akatsuki of the plan and actually undermine the Leaf’s efforts.  So they had waited for a direct request of aid instead.

The next they heard from their allies in the Land of Fire, the strike plan was over.  Two Akatsuki were eliminated, and only one Leaf shinobi lost his life, which, all things considered, was pretty remarkable.  When she heard the name of the casualty, though, she knew it had been a high, high price for success.

Temari hesitated a moment before stepping into Yoshino’s arms when she offered a hug.  She and her siblings rarely showed this level of affection, but she had realized since Shikamaru’s visit to the Sand after Gaara’s abduction that she would maybe like more of these kinds of interactions.  Kankuro was responsive to physical contact and often found excuses to exchange fistbumps or throw his arm across her shoulders. Gaara was much more conscious of personal boundaries and rarely attempted anything beyond a handshake.  It was just another aspect of human interaction he was trying to figure out.

Hugging Yoshino wasn’t quite as comfortable as hugging Shikamaru, but there was a familiar pleasantness that made her remember her mother’s embrace.  She hadn’t been lucky enough to know her mother for very long, so she let herself hug the Nara matron for as long as possible to pretend she hadn’t been deprived of such comforts.

But this visit wasn’t for herself.  She had come to pay respects and offer comfort if she could.

Pulling away from the warmth of the hug, Temari was highly aware of the stillness inside the house.  The silence was heavier than usual, sad and uncomfortable. It weighed down the normally welcoming home.  She was almost afraid to step further inside and disturb the uneasy tranquility.

“How are you?”

“Fine.”  She slipped out of her sandals and padded down the hall towards the kitchen.  “Things have settled down for the most part. Repairs are nearly finished. I can’t really ask for much more than that.”  She shrugged. “How are you?”

“We’re managing,.” Yoshino sighed as she began boiling water for tea, “some of us better than others.  I’m glad the chunin exams were over before all of this. I don’t know if Shikamaru would have kept up with the workload after Asuma…”  Her hands clenched on the countertop. The next moment she was breathing out slowly and relaxing her hands. Temari wondered if now was a suitable time to offer comfort, but she wasn’t sure how to best go about doing so.

“Don’t worry,” Yoshino smiled, reaching out to squeeze Temari’s arm reassuringly as though she were the one who needed comfort.  “It’s been better than I expected. Other than running off to get revenge without the Hokage’s permission, he’s been pretty mellow about it.”

“I wasn’t worried necessarily.”  She felt warm suddenly. Yoshino gave her a knowing smile and turned to begin steeping three mugs of tea.

“Shikamaru has a tendency to think about things more than the average person.  Sometimes he needs to be pulled out of his head and reminded to act or see the things right in front of him.  Asuma was good at that. I think you’re good at that, too.” She discarded the spent tea leaves and handed two of the mugs to Temari.  “He’s on the roof.”

Temari accepted the tea and the implied mission, though she wasn’t sure exactly what Yoshino was expecting from her.  She simply wanted to make sure he was okay and offer what comfort she could.

She slid out of the dining room door.  Yoshino closed it behind her to keep out the cool fall air.  Temari took a moment to gather herself alone on the porch. The woods hovered a few yards away, somber and still, as though waiting to see what she was going to do.  What was she going to do?

A slight movement caught her eye.  Peering into the forest shadows, her eyes met those of a deer, a young buck with his second year of antlers.  He had lowered his head a little to get a better look at her. Instinctually, Temari didn’t move. There was a keen intelligence in those large brown eyes that she’d rarely seen in another being, let alone an animal.  It was studying her, but rather than be put off by it, she wondered what it must think of her. What standards was it weighing her against?

It blinked, and then it disappeared into the woods.  Part of her wanted to follow it, but the tea in her hands was cooling, and there was someone she needed to talk to.

There was no ladder propped against the side of the house, but there were footprints on the lip of the rain barrel and the top edge of the lean-to shed next to it.  It would be tricky making the jumps with her hands full, but she wasn’t interested in looking for a ladder. Trusting her chakra control and balance, she launched herself up the makeshift steps and (somehow) managed to safely land on the roof without spilling either mug.

The roofing tile had been warmed enough by the sun not to shock her bare feet.  She took a moment to get her bearings and adjust to the easy slope beneath her feet.  Shikamaru wasn’t on this side of the roof. She wasn’t surprised. If he had come up here to be alone, he’d try and make a little space between himself and any unwanted visitors.  She suspected he might be on the other side around the corner, so she began picking her way along the roof, dodging the handful of dried leaves which had been caught between the tiles.  The sun was softer than it was in the summer, but it caressed her skin with comfortable warmth. She had been told it had been a mild fall so far. She hoped that would promise a mild winter, too.

Her hunch had been correct.  She found Shikamaru as she carefully stepped around the corner.  He was lying on his back, one arm tucked behind his head while the other absentmindedly flicked a battered silver lighter open and shut.  He was wearing black. She wondered if it had been a conscious choice to indicate mourning or had simply been a convenient outfit. At least he looked healthy.

“If you keep hanging out on roofs all day, you’ll get sunburned.”

“Temari.”  He sat up quickly, surprised.  The lighter disappeared into his pocket.  His expression became carefully neutral as he studied her.  “What are you doing here?”

“Right now, delivering tea from your mother.”  She handed him one of the mugs and carefully sat beside him.

“Thank you,” he said, accepting the delivery.  “But really, why are you here? I hadn’t heard of any expected diplomatic visit.”

“It was a last-minute decision.  We needed to exchange some information about the Akatsuki, and I volunteered to play the messenger.”

“Oh.”  His brow darkened, but he looked more thoughtful than angry.  Yoshino was right. He really did think things over a lot.

“I was sorry to hear about your sensei,” she said softly.  She began reaching for his shoulder, but he turned away from her slightly.  Temari drew her hand back and tried to read his body language, but all she could see was a sliver of his cheek and most of his back.  She debated reaching out to him anyway, but if he had turned away like this, he probably didn’t want to share right now. She would wait.

“Thanks,” Shikamaru sighed eventually, releasing tension in his shoulders and back that she hadn’t noticed before.  He gulped down more of his tea--it had cooled enough to be gulped--and then returned to the position she had found him in, reclining with an arm behind his head.  His other hand was in his pocket, probably gripping the lighter. She remembered that Asuma had been a smoker.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

“Fine.”

“Shikamaru.”

He looked at her, expression unreadable.

“I thought we were close enough to owe each other honesty.”

She watched his eyes search her face.  She wondered what he was looking for. His expression relaxed, softening as he looked back at the sky where a few thin clouds hovered in the upper atmosphere.

“I am not fine,” he confessed softly, “but I am better.”

“What happened?” she asked gently.

Shikamaru told her.  He explained their plan to lure out the Akatsuki to lessen the threat to Naruto and other jinchuriki.  He told her about their encounter with Hidan and Kakuzu and the sacrifice Asuma had made. He admitted he hadn’t gone to the funeral and ignored his duties for several days.  He described the plan he had made and how Ino and Chouji hadn’t needed to be asked because they were on the same page. He told her that he had taken his revenge in the most cold-hearted way possible, dismembering and burying Hidan on his land to hold him prisoner for eternity.  He told her he had been a little afraid of himself afterwards, and he still woke up sometimes shocked by what he was capable of.

“I have started to make my peace with it,” he murmured.  “I visited his grave for the first time yesterday. It felt wrong to be addressing a gravestone instead of him, but I’ll get used to it.”

“Eventually,” she agreed.

She had asked for honesty, and Shikamaru had given it.  Unguarded and unrushed, he had opened up, and she had listened without judgment.  More than anything, Temari wanted to understand him, and, to her surprise, he seemed willing to let her.  Rarely did she have such conversations like this. It was a bit frightening, but it was also refreshing to be so comfortable with someone else.

He glanced at her and studied her face again.

“What?” she asked as he turned back to the clouds.

“You’re being unusually quiet.”

“It’s rude to interrupt people when they’re talking, and you’re being unusually talkative.”

The corner of his mouth twitched.  It was the closest he had gotten to smiling all afternoon, and it was satisfying to know she could still tease him without him falling apart.  He really was grieving well.

The sun had started to lower, but there were still a few hours before sunset.  Setting aside her now empty mug, Temari decided to copy Shikamaru’s preferred position of repose to try and figure out why he liked it so much.  She carefully reclined until she was lying back on the cooling roof tiles, tucking her hands behind her head. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her but made no comment.

Lying around doing nothing was another strange experience for Temari.  She was constantly moving from one task to another, rarely sitting still.  There was always something to do next, another mission to complete or another problem to solve.  Laziness was irresponsible, or so her father had taught her. She was of the Wind, and like the wind she was constantly moving and changing directions as needed to address whatever the village needed from her.  She was almost afraid to step out of the airstream in case she was left behind or things fell apart without her.

But maybe taking a break once in a while wasn’t so bad.  She had been thinking a lot about what Shikamaru had told her after Gaara’s rescue, that she didn’t need to shoulder everything by herself.  She had begun noticing the number of loyal shinobi in the Sand working every day for the benefit of the village. More and more people were believing in Gaara’s vision of the future, and the way they had rallied together to rebuild and stand by their Kazekage had eased a lot of her worries.  She didn’t have to obsess over her little brother’s safety, giving her the luxury to travel to the Leaf for a few days and address another person she was worried about.

She glanced over at Shikamaru.  He had pulled out the lighter again and was flicking it open and closed, open and closed, deep in thought.

“If you keep doing that you’ll likely break it,” she warned.  He flipped the lighter closed, wrapping it in his fist.

“If the village were a shogi game, what would be the king?”

“Hm?”  She adjusted her head so she could look at him comfortably without straining her neck.

“Each shogi piece has its abilities and its purpose, just like every person has a role within a village.  If you were to assign each role a shogi piece, what would be the king?”

“Is that a serious question?” she asked, a chuckle bubbling up inside her.  “It sounds like you play too much shogi.”

“Just-” he began, voice hard, hand clenching around the lighter.  It seemed to take conscious effort to relax and keep his voice mild.  “Please.”

The show of emotion surprised Temari and nullified her instinct to tease him.  This question meant something to him. It had probably meant something to Asuma as this was the most emotional she had seen him today.

“Okay,” she agreed softly.  If he needed an answer, she would take the question seriously.  “Just give me a moment to think about it.”

He grunted his assent.  Temari turned back to look at the sky while she turned over the options in her mind.  The king was the most important piece in shogi. Losing it meant losing the game. So if the village was a shogi game, what would spell the downfall of the village if it was lost?  Her first instinct was to say the Kage, but from her experience after Gaara’s abduction she knew the Kage were dispensable. The council was, too. There would always be someone else who would step up and unite the villagers.  The people were really what made the village, so maybe they were the king. But people come and go, live and die. What kept them together and united them under the banner of “village”?

She thought of the Sand and how the villagers had rallied together after Gaara’s abduction.  Their unity hadn’t been about Gaara himself but what he stood for. His vision of what the Sand could be and hopefully would be had brought them together, and even if they had lost him, that hope for the future would have spurred them on.

“The king…” she mused.  “It must be our vision of the future.  That’s what we’re all fighting for after all, isn’t it?”

“Not bad.”  A tired smile played on Shikamaru’s lips.  “The first time Asuma asked me, I said it was the Hokage.”

“That seemed too obvious.  You like to ask tricky questions.”

“I’d amend your answer a little, though.  It’s not just the future itself, but the future generations we have to work to protect.  After all, they’re the ones who will ultimately make the future.”

“That sounds awfully mature coming from you.”  She adjusted her position again so she could study his face.  “Did Asuma teach you that?”

“Yeah,” he said softly, flicking open the lighter and lighting the flame.  “It was one of the last things he taught me. He passed the responsibility for the future to me through the Will of Fire.  It’s my job to continue his work.”

“That’s a big responsibility.  Are you sure you’re up for it?”

He closed the lighter, snuffing out the flame.  Shikamaru studied the sky for a moment, turning the question over in his mind.

“Honestly,” he eventually sighed, “I’m not even sure where to start.  But I’m going to have to figure it out quickly. It’ll only be a handful of months before Asuma’s child is born, and he entrusted its training and safety to me.”

“He was going to be a father?”  She hadn’t known he was in a relationship.  But there had never been a reason for Temari to get to know Asuma personally.

“Yeah.”  Shikamaru sighed.  The silence settled heavily around them.  The sun had sunk low enough for the light to cast deep shadows across his face.  He looked deeply tired and, Temari thought, unsure of himself. He wanted to do right by his sensei, but he was barely more than a child himself.  How could he teach and protect the future generations when he hadn’t figured out his own future?

He thought too much.  Temari knew that action and instinct were a huge help in navigating uncertainties.  If he could let his mind rest once in a while, she was sure he would figure things out as he went.

“Hey,” she said, letting her own instincts lead her as she scooted closer and reached for his hand.  He looked surprised when she wrapped her fingers around his, the lighter he was holding pressed between their palms, but it was warm and comfortable and comforting.  “You’ll figure it out,” she promised.

Shikamaru searched her eyes.  She saw his grief and fear, his anger that was still fading, and his deep fatigue.  This experience had aged his soul, forcibly burning away the youthful laziness and thrusting him into a world of adult problems.  Temari understood how that felt. She had had to navigate that transition herself. She’d make sure Shikamaru didn’t do it alone.

“I’ll be here,” she promised in a whisper, hoping he understood what she meant.  He blinked, and it was like watching the sky clear after a rainstorm.

Shikamaru squeezed her hand as he turned back to watching the clouds.  It made Temari feel warm and pleased. She watched him a moment longer, and the knowledge that he would be okay settled deep within her like a truth.  Content, she followed his gaze to the sky so they could watch the sunset paint the clouds in companionable silence.

#writersmonth2019 #shikatemaweek2019 #gizka #my words #shikatema #naruto #hurt/comfort #nara shikamaru #temari #kaze queen

[fmdtaeyongarchive]

↬ i don’t cry like i used to.

date: early 2019

location: n/a

word count: 1,337 words w/o lyrics

notes: creative claims verification for wish you well.

it starts with writer’s block. it’s odd how that works, but ash has written song after song about the same old tired heartbreak and drawing from all of the same experiences he’s had and they all sound like one of the fifty other songs before them. breaking up is sad, plenty of regrets are had, maybe some inauthentic longing thrown in to try to spice it up, but nothing feels special. after “untitled, 2014”’s success, it’s like he wants to use the same formula, to channel the same feelings all to have some guaranteed end result of success, so he can recreate something of equal critical praise. that’s not how art works, he has to remind himself. there are endless theories of equations to create a solid pop song, and ash has read different ideas of what that is in book after book and article after article, but one can’t plug in emotions in place of variables and end up with a sum of soul-touching nakedness. if that’s how it worked, someone would have already hacked that and made billions by now. if there was a way to succeed so effortlessly, ash wouldn’t want to fall victim to it, so greedy for praise that he allows his desire to capture the human experience in the way he best knows how to escape him.

melodies that aren’t entirely creative and derivative of better songs are escaping him, though. ash tinkers around on the keyboard in the studio for a while longer in hopes it’s a momentary stalling in his mind before a breakthrough can happen, but the invisible connection that’s usually so strong between his fingers and the white feels obstructed by static, as if a storm cloud is raging within the air of the cramped studio and interfering with the unseen cable connecting them, so he packs up his things and heads home. it’s a defeat he doesn’t usually allow himself to suffer. he prefers to work until something, anything, crawls its way out of the gloomy space between the wrinkles of his brain, but this night, it seems more hopeless than ever.

sleep doesn’t come easy once he’s back at the dorm. it never does, of course, so he grabs his most trustworthy guitar by its neck out of the corner of his room in the dark, careful not to disturb namwoo, and holes himself up in the laundry room. it’s a strange choice of refuge, but it’s detached from the other members’ rooms and he can close the door to be with his guitar in peace. no one is going to look for him here if they notice he’s missing either. he sits himself on the floor, back against the dryer and sets up his phone to record a voice memo. he’s not sure what he’s going to record yet, but he’s learned having it on anytime something good might accidentally slip out is a gift of modern technology he can’t afford to forgo right now.

the night passes by outside, and ash strums absently on the guitar, letting his mind make its own way into different chords and rhythms and strumming patterns until he stumbles upon something that finally sounds like more than the same old been there done that that he’s been struggling with. he sits up a little straighter, back only brushing the dryer now instead of being completely supported by it, and leans into playing around with the progression and the rhythm until he finds a groove in it. he stops the voice memo that’s recording and saves the old recording before starting a new one with the idea of working around this new chord progression in mind.

naturally, as he finds his way through more of the composition, or rather, it finds its way to him, he begins to hum a melody over it. he doesn’t put much thought into words. the tidbits he does get out onto tape aren’t anything special. there’s scattered pieces: “don’t become a person like me”, “you should be happy”, “that pretty smile”. it’s half a verse that slips out in pieces and eventually comes together during his playing around that he really likes:

“the you who shined brighter than anyone before you knew me, your look in the past that didn’t suit tears, it’s a relief you’re doing well. yeah, i think you seem more like you when i’m not by your side.”

it doesn’t strike ash until after the pieces fall into place, and he hadn’t been thinking too deeply of past pain, not since he’d left the studio and resigned himself to creating a good instrumental instead, but there’s an undeniable reality to it. it’s a fear that’s always lingering in the back of his mind waiting to be confirmed, and he’s written about it before so it’s not an epiphany, but he hadn’t been expecting it to come out of his tired mind. they’re fears he’s realized in the past as the ending credits of a relationship began to roll and they’re ones he’s afraid to end up face to face with again now if he ever looks back on his relationship and sees he’s been bad for hansol like he’s so afraid of.

he wraps up recording what he has into his phone and decides to let himself rest for the night before he can venture anywhere too dark. he’s let that happen too many times in the name of “art”, and for once, he wants to be good to himself.

the half-made song sits in his phone for a while, a fate that has been suffered by many before and after it, but it’s saved by a conversation he has with sooyeon one day. conversations with sooyeon aren’t rare compared to his conversations with most people, despite their similarly hectic schedules, but this is the one where he finds out her thing, whatever it was—he’d tried not to bring it up after expressing his initial disapproval to her, so the details weren’t quite clear to him—she’d had with seyeon had ended, and he leaves the conversation feeling like he should have said something better in response, something more meaningful than the pitiful “it’s okay for it to hurt” spiel he’d attempted to go on. on a mission to make sure she was okay, he didn’t let her know he’s been there and that he understands and that feelings are good for people in the long run. he feels he fails to let her know that he’s felt the things she might be feeling, and he doesn’t even know if she needs him to tell her that or if the very insinuation that she couldn’t handle it on her own would be insulting to her level of emotional maturity.

he doesn’t finish the lyrics about sooyeon. he doesn’t know enough about her situation to do that, and it’s not his place, but the talk does spark up inspiration to return to the formerly shafted draft in his phone. he has her in mind as he finishes the song in a way he doesn’t realize until he sends the rough demo of it labeled ‘wywver5' to her later with a simple, but leading “a rough draft of something new i’ve been writing. what do you think? if you ask me, it’d sound better led by a female voice”. maybe it’s a thank you for bringing him back to it even though she doesn’t know, or maybe it’s with hopes she’ll listen to it and connect in some way.

within the file, the lyrics wrap around the original half of a verse he wrote with lyrics that had come to life as he’d reflected on the ends of his past relationships. he has almost two years of distance from any single one of them now, and it’s easier to intertwine the truth of the initial cutting pain of a breakup with how he feels in the present. he wants the best for everyone he’s ever loved, even those who have hurt him and those he’s hurt, because that’s what love is, not matter how messy it is or how doomed from the start it may be. that’s not a new concept in his lyrics, but it’s one he wants to show more. it’s one he wants people to hear more, sooyeon included.

“i’m thinking ‘wish you well’,” he amends to his message.

#fmdverification #this sounds exactly like every other verification i've ever written don't read it #&& queued

[xtruss]

“Shameless War Criminal Bloody British Bastard Blair” Lectures the World on Military Strategy, With No Word of the Deceit He Engineered For an Illegal Assault on Iraq 🇮🇶, Syria 🇸🇾 and Afghanistan 🇦🇫

— 6 September, 2021 | RT

Former War Criminal Bloody British British PM Tony Blair sees himself as a colossus on the world stage – climate hero, peace maker and thinker for our times – seemingly unaware that many people view him as a ‘War Criminal’ who deserves to be put on trial and throw him behind bars to “Stay, Rest, Rot and Burn in Hell Forever.”

Since he left high office in 2007, there really is no subject in the world on which Tony Blair is reluctant to express an opinion on, buoyed by an unsinkable self-belief and an apparently total absence of self-awareness.

He’s convinced that a huge appetite exists for his latest musings, that French President Emmanuel Macron is desperate for his help in tackling the radical Islamist problems of the Sahel, that US President Joe Biden lies awake at night asking himself, ‘What would Tony do?’ and that the British public has forgotten he took the country into a catastrophic war against Iraq that both the United Nations and even his own government inquiry determined was illegal.

His acquiescence to US demands for an attack on Saddam Hussein earned Blair the US Medal of Freedom from George Bush and 20 years of opprobrium from the British public, which has only increased as the years have passed on par with his own immense personal wealth. A poll in 2017 found a third of the British public would like to see Blair put on trial as a war criminal.

But that’s not something the ex-PM likes to dwell upon. So his speech to the Royal United Services Institute (RUSI), almost 20 years to the day since the terrorist attacks of 9/11, made no mention of what followed those unforgettable events: dodgy dossiers, suggestions of bunkers full of weapons of mass destruction or of the purposeful lying to the British people.

Rather than learn any lessons from recent history, like when to wage war, Blair’s appetite is clearly undiminished, as he moaned, “Western societies and their political leaders have become quite understandably, deeply averse to casualties amongst our Armed Forces.” This, in his view, had become, “an overwhelming political constraint to any commitment to Western boots on the ground, except for Special Forces.”

It’s all Biden’s fault apparently. Blair said, “It is clear now – if it wasn't before – that America has decided that for the foreseeable future, it has a very limited appetite for military engagement.”

‘First order security threat’ akin to revolutionary communism: Afghan war didn’t solve radical Islam, Tony Blair says. War Criminal Bloody British Bastard don’t like to talk about “Radical Christians Terrorists, Radical Saffron Hindu Terrorists, Radical God’s Fucked-up People Zionist Cunt Terrorists,” because they can give him a deep f*** and stop paying him to propagate spew filth against Muslims.

Well, yes, Mr. Former Prime Minister, it is true that the Americans have made no secret of the fact that they are sick of fighting ‘forever wars’. But us Brits also do not like to see the lives of young men and women who have signed up to serve their country sacrificed at the altar of political self-aggrandisement. We are now a little less gullible, a little less obliging when it comes to fighting unwinnable, neverending battles and somewhat more suspicious of our glory-seeking political leaders. And that’s all largely down to one person. You.

It’s strange Blair doesn’t acknowledge this. One thing’s certain, he knows his geopolitics; hell, he even has his own eponymous ‘global institute’ packed with researchers, academics and leading experts to tell him what to think and say about the key issues of our time. With one exception. Do. Not. Mention. Iraq.

The exclusion of that country’s name from the conversation is obvious. In looking forward, Blair said that Europe – insisting “for these purposes Britain is part of Europe like it or not” – faced an immediate challenge from the destabilisation of the Sahel and was “already facing the fallout from Libya, Syria and elsewhere in the Middle East.” Err, by ‘elsewhere in the Middle East’ could Blair possibly mean Iraq? Probably, but let’s not risk spoiling a pleasant chat.

And in the face of that perceived threat, which in the Sahel until now has been largely handled by France, Blair asked, “How do Europe and NATO develop the capability to act when America is unwilling?”

Blair clearly sees military action as an imperative – I’m not sure everyone else agrees – but he also thinks the capacity of Western policymakers to think strategically needs to be reinvigorated.

“For me, one of the most alarming developments of recent times has been the sense the West lacks the capacity to formulate strategy,” he said. “That its short term political imperatives have squeezed the space for long term thinking.

It is this sense more than anything else which gives our allies anxiety and our opponents a belief our time is over.”

Now the picture is starting to become clearer. While Western governments are distracted from war by the need to focus on rebuilding economies, fighting worldwide health crises and seemingly perpetual election cycles which inhibit their ability to think long-term, they need big thinkers, top-shelf statesmen and global heavy hitters to work out how to bomb the citizens of far-off places into oblivion through drone strikes, how to convince a sceptical public that it’s a good idea to send servicemen and women to their deaths and – most importantly of all – how to create the right PR buzz around those decisions, so that everyone feels comfortable about falling into line.

Those Western governments need men just like Tony Blair. He’s free most afternoons, if you’d like to schedule a Zoom call. Just don’t mention the war (on Iraq).

“War Criminal, Boak Bollocks Bloody British Bastard Tony Blair” calls US Afghanistan withdrawal ‘imbecilic’ – What, then, was the Bush-Blair invasion of 2001?

— Neil Clark is a journalist, writer, broadcaster and blogger. His award winning blog can be found at www.neilclark66.blogspot.com. He tweets on politics and world affairs @NeilClark66

— August 22, 2021 | RT

War Criminals Bush and Blair met in Washington to discuss the ongoing operations in Afghanistan, November 7, 2001. © REUTERS/Win McNamee

“Serial Warmonger and War Criminal Bloody British Bastard Tony Blair” has blasted the US decision to pull out from Afghanistan, but history tells us the real madness was invading the unconquerable country in the first place.

Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair –aka ‘The Blair Creature’– is not a happy bunny this Sunday, folks. He has said that the decision to withdraw western forces from Afghanistan was made “in obedience to an imbecilic slogan about ending the ‘forever wars’.”

What he calls the US’ ‘abandonment’ of Afghanistan was “tragic, dangerous and unnecessary.”

In fact we could say the same about Tony Blair himself – and certainly the wars of choice he promoted.

Imbecilic? That’s the perfect word to describe what happened in October 2001 when Afghanistan was invaded in response, we were told, to the terrorist attacks of 9/11, even though none of the terrorists were Afghan nationals.

Had Blair read just a little bit of history, he would have pursued an exclusively diplomatic path to try and get Osama Bin Laden handed over and not have been so keen to send in the troops.

As I wrote in the Daily Express in 2009 in an article entitled ’Afghanistan: History repeats itself,’ “‘That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history,’ said Aldous Huxley. Nowhere is this more applicable than in the case of the many unsuccessful attempts by foreign powers to conquer Afghanistan.”

I went on: “The mighty forces of the British Empire failed three times between 1839 and 1919. The Soviet Union, which at the time had the largest army in the world, tried in 1979: they too were defeated.”

But in 2001, Blair and the then American President George W. Bush thought they would buck the trend. They could topple the Taliban (which they did) and remake Afghanistan – a deeply conservative and very religious country – in the western secular image. Afghanistan would be transformed from a ‘failed terror state’ into a ‘functioning democracy.’ What folly. What imperial arrogance.

Today, Blair is busily trying to spin the invasion of 2001 as a ‘success.’ But, while some things did improve, 'Operation Enduring Freedom' certainly didn’t bring peace to Afghanistan.

According to the UN Assistance Mission in Afghanistan, 579 civilians were killed in aerial operations between January and September 2019. That’s more than double the amount ten years earlier. Nearly 111,000 civilians have been killed or injured in the country since 2009.

Far from bringing stability, the 2001 western military invasion, just like the 2003 invasion of Iraq, was a major cause of instability.

I recall chatting to a friendly Afghan taxi driver a couple of years ago and saying to him how I’d love to visit the country to see its great natural beauty. “Don’t go,” he said. “It‘s far too dangerous. You would be targeted.”

So much for Afghanistan being ‘safe’ post-invasion.

Whenever the US withdrew, we would have had scenes of chaos. But the Americans had to pull-out at some point otherwise its forces would have been in Afghanistan forever. That doesn’t seem to concern ‘The Blair Creature’ too much. ‘Forever wars’ aren’t a great problem to him or indeed the ‘Inside the Tent‘ political and media figures who promote them. They are, though, for the soldiers who die in them, and for their grieving families.

‘But the US and British forces could have stayed in a support role,’ we’re hearing. But, as was pointed out last week, there is a word for countries whose governments only endure because of foreign military support. The word is “colony.”

Blair and his supporters are tacitly admitting that Afghanistan, billed as a ‘sovereign democratic country’, was actually a colony. I thought ‘imperialism’ was supposed to be a bad thing that we’re all supposed to be ashamed of. So why is it ok when it comes to Afghanistan?

Afghanistan is virtually impossible for foreign powers to subjugate. There’s its hostile terrain, its harsh weather, its fiercely independent people who are very brave, very tough and are highly skilled in mountain warfare. But anyone who’d read the history books would have known all this and not intervened in the first place.

Tony Blair, with his Messiah complex, thought he’d be different. He could succeed in Afghanistan where other, lesser mortals had failed. But the ‘new’ neocon empire met with exactly the same result as the old empire did. Wasn’t it ‘imbecilic’ to think it would be any different?

[onceabluemoonwrites]

KHR girls: Where Canon Went Wrong

Hey guys! As a writer of fanfiction and someone who loves writing female characters, I’ve been trying to narrow down just why even the not-blatantly-sexualised female characters in KHR leave such a bad aftertaste. In canon, mind you, not fanon. I’m shocked by the magnitude of what I found, actually. It’s… So incredibly BIG.

Every time I write a KHR woman for the first time, I… Flounder, and feel lost. And they often have this bad aftertaste when reading canon material, and I wanted to know WHY so I could narrow it down and know EXACTLY what to fix in my fix-canon fics. 

The parts in italics are by @i-w-p-chan .

Buckle up, this is a long post!

Fighting

Bianchi & I-Pin both use food (more on the women & the kitchen association under Kitchen). Bianchi is one of the most dangerous assassins in the world, so that’s a pro. Sadly, it’s one of the few pros.

I-Pin has stepped out of the mafia/triads by the time she’s fifteen, as shown by her TYL version. While this is a very sensible choice and obviously what Fon wanted for her, this makes her another female character who technically stopped fighting while all the males around her kept fighting on.  Kyoko, Haru, Hana and Nana are the most featured non-mafia characters. All female, decidedly not fighters. 

Chrome should be commended for her skills- she was able to impersonate Yamamoto perfectly. That takes an enormous amount of practice and eye for details. More on Chrome: See Kitchen.

M.M. fought and was defeated by the only other girl fighting.

Bluebell. Bluebell DIDN’T participate in choice. Zakuro didn’t either, but Bluebell was the only female funeral wreath.

Yuni only wins from Byakuran by self-sacrifice in the Future Arc.

She was scared of actually dying until Gamma came over to her. so she didn’t even get to do THAT by herself.

On Pantera: She’s obviously deadly, but Longchamp keeps LAUGHING at her assassination attempts like they’re nothing!

Introductions

Kyoko and Hana’s ‘’generic conversation about a guy’’. (Chapter 1) (See me fixing this conversation here)

Nana putting Tsuna down like he has no future? This doesn’t fit with EVERYTHING we later learn about her! (Chapter 1)

Haru ends up saying she wants to MARRY Tsuna by the end of her introductory chapter.

Bianchi’s ‘’Reborn, Reborn, Reborn!’’ and just… Trying to kill Tsuna because he’s just an obstacle between her and her boyfriend? See me when I’m done screaming out of frustration for this abomination of an introduction done to a woman that should, by all means, be one of the most deadly assassins in the world.

Longchamp’s ‘’Ugly girlfriends’’. (More about this under Because All Women Care About Are Men (and Family))

Chapter 227, the first image of the real six funeral wraths! Everybody looks freakin’ terrifying EXCEPT BLUEBELL, SHE’S JUST SLEEPING??!!

Shittopi-chan. Okay. The second female member of the Simon. That’s more women than the other sets of Elements have! I’m happy with that, but I would have been happier if they hadn’t sexualised Adel so much. And while I love Shittopi and her amazing steadfast belief in herself and her great confidence and wouldn’t have her any other way, it stands out to me that well… The first thing that happens after her introduction is Gokudera calling her a U.M.A. A freaking Unidentified Mysterious Animal.  

Handled well: Adel (chapter 283), Oregano (Chapter 112, reasonable), Lal Mirch (Chapter 112), Daniela (Chapter 158), Chrome (Chapter 113- Her entrance was fabulous).

The Kitchen

There’s nothing wrong with the kitchen. That’s where the knives are, after all! *grins* But sadly, as a woman, I know more than a thing or two about ‘’women belonging in the kitchen,’’ and ‘’make me a sandwich, woman.’’

This is the shit I’m talking about: 

Kyoko & Hana: Cooking class. Only girls. Ew. No. 

Also, in the future arc Kyoko, Haru, Bianchi and even CHROME were on kitchen duty. Kyoko and Haru were “doing what they could,” as is said in canon, but with how much time Bianchi spends with them, couldn’t they have learned how to sharpen knives or something? Besides, it was vital for them to know how to protect themselves in order not to be a liability.

Pretty much, I wanted to see Kyoko and Haru do ANYTHING besides cooking and doing the laundry!

And CHROME?! Sure, she was sick, but what a mighty coincidence! The only female guardian ending up in the kitchen while the rest of them trains and powers up!

And what was especially f*** awful about the future arc was that it TRIED TO JUSTIFY it by “we are doing what we can.’’

I love the bonding moments between the girls in the future arc, BUT WHAT WAS BIANCHI DOING THERE? EVERYBODY WAS BUSY! FUUTA WAS ALMOST NEVER THERE! FUUTA IS A TOO-TALL 18-YEAR-OLD BABY WHO NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED, WHY BE YOU OUT THERE WHILE THE EXPERIENCED HITMAN IS IN THE FREAKING KITCHEN?!!

There is another thing about the girls being put on kitchen duty: you realize how many people they’ll be cooking for and cleaning after? And how many of them are growing teenagers constantly training? That’s not something any 14-year-old girl would know how to do just by virtue of being a girl.

Consider: if Kyoko ever cooked meals at home, it would be just for her parents and Ryohei and herself. That’s four. Haru is a lone child, that’s three. The situation just doesn’t make any sense! Why couldn’t they have like, had a rotating schedule for cleaning and cooking shifts alongside training? Or heck, why isn’t there any worker tasked with the kitchen duty?

Kept in the Dark

Excerpt from Bianchi’s wiki page:

’‘Bianchi again comes to the foreground as a tutor right before Choice, but this time to Chrome. They train in hand-to-hand combat, with I-Pin to help out. During the girls’ strike, she supports Haru and Kyoko’s decision to stop doing housework until the boys tell them what’s going on. However, she also tells them what the boys are most likely thinking, and convinces them to call the strike off.”

She was Gokudera’s tutor before. But Bianchi convincing them to put the strike off? That was a slap in my face, lady! They’ve got a RIGHT to be pissed off, they’re far away from home, in the middle of a war, and you keep them in the dark! They don’t know what’s going on at all! AND THIS:

“Bianchi is first briefly seen watching Reborn worriedly when he awoke from his dream, and later seen again observing while Nana is angered at Tsuna for badmouthing Iemitsu, his father. Later, she was seen carrying an unconscious Nana who fainted after being hit by Iemitsu’s blood while wondering why Nana had to go through such an ordeal. She then requests that they make it so that when Nana wakes up, she will think it was a dream.”

Nana- seemingly obvious, has an overseas husband, “airheaded”? My God. No. Not to mention what the freakin’ anime did with her. All expressions GONE like that! Lal’s place as one of the strongest seven in the world was stolen by Colonello, no matter how well-meant it was.

Sexualization

Adel’s ZIPPER.

Iris Hepburn seduced a couple of scientists to do what she wanted- not manipulated, they say she “charmed and seduced”. Ugh. 

Also, not truly sexualized, but definitely need to be noted: Bluebell’s nudity (See Young girls, old men, nudity and being creeped on) and that one scene in the anime (I can’t quite recall if it was in the manga too) in which Gamma remembers Aria.

How? Oh, just, you know, him crawling through her open window shirtless, and her sitting up in bed, clutching the bedding to her obviously naked front while aiming a gun at him.

Also, what is it with Chrome and being attacked by tentacles? First Mammon with the tentacle illusion, then Glo Xinia!

Also, the nude shots of the girls in some very pin-up girl poses in the bathroom scene of the Future Arc (chapter 237) were horrible!

Young girls, old men, nudity and being creeped on

The KHR thing with young girls just… *shiver* For a show about fourteen-year-old kids, there are a LOT of creepers.

Chrome is the biggest victim of it, though sadly, not the only one. Glo Xinia made me so f*** uncomfortable- honestly, he was creeping on Chrome too. The Simon arc and Chrome with Daemon sends my skin crawling every time.

Also, the Byakuran hypnotizing Yuni? Yeah. Older guy controlling younger girl, the whole thing giving you the creeps? Chrome and Daemon, anyone?

Also, you remember Bluebell’s introduction? When she was climbing out of the water and one of the other Funeral Wreaths (I don’t remember which one) telling her something about proper lady manners or something along those lines? 

On Bluebell: I checked (chapter 239) and not only does Zakuro comment on her flat chest! Bluebell gets angry at him in a rather childish manner, but when she calls out Kikyo to defend her, he goes: “Zakuro’s just lashing out because he’s jealous of how cute you are.”

Zakuro: “Not likely.”

And then KIKYO SAYS: “Now, Bluebell, you are a girl, so how about you stop spreading your legs in that unsightly manner?”

And Bluebell’s only reaction to this is to close her legs (she was naked, but if she’s already naked in their vicinity, then what? It’s obviously normal for her? Not to mention that’s she’s naked during her INTRODUCTION SCENE?

And the weird thing is, while I’m happy they do treat her like a child, she’s fifteen! They make comments about her chest! And the “treating her like a child” thing is mostly not seeing her as a woman from Kikyo’s standpoint- aka, she’s not sexualized entirely.

It just f*** me up because they still make comments that are really sexist and could be seen as sexualization- not to mention that it’s that kind of freaking patriarchy superior bullshit that KEEPS her from growing up! My gosh) and complaining more about Zakuro!

Also, was it just me or were the Gamma and Yuni overtones rather romantic? Because they felt like it. And Yuni’s what? Fourteen? Thirteen? Fifteen if we’re pushing it? That’s ANOTHER young girl and an older man.

Yeeppppp. from A-Z from their ‘I feel about you the same way my mother did’ (which??? is big ?????????) until Yuni sacrifices herself.

Disease and Disability

Sick characters? Injuries, disease and mental illnesses not caused by battle wounds? Here’s a list:

Yamamoto (broken arm, depression)

Gokudera (trauma)

Hibari (though technically Sakura kura was administered by a weapon too)

Tsuna (skull disease- caused, once again, by weapons- the dying will bullets)

Ryohei (ADHD heavily implied)

Byakuran (What’s happening in his head? I don’t know, but it certainly wasn’t good for his mental health)

Chrome (no organs, repeatedly a problem when Mukuro does not come to the rescue)

Bluebell (parental abuse through neglect, paralyzed legs and trauma from seeing the car accident that ended her brother’s life)

 Luce, Aria, Yuni (Arcobaleno curse, results in early death)

 Lal Mirch (the only Arcobaleno visibly seen suffering the effects of Byakuran’s anti-Arcobaleno gass or whatever it was)

Lavina (fatal disease).

I love representation of disease and disability if done right, but looking at the list and the topic of this post, I’d say my point has been made. Also, an interesting observation: While the men do seem to deal with mental illnesses, the rest seem to be solely resting on the shoulders of the women.

Because All Women Care About Are Men (and Family)

Bianchi’s few star moments were mostly dominated by statements about love and her ex-boyfriend- though the future arc had her being AWESOME!

Akiko Irie- Shoichi’s sister. Wanna know what her wiki article says? This is under “History” :

“Not much is known about her but it is known that she has a boyfriend.”

Because that’s obviously all we need to know! Don’t even get me STARTED on Longchamp’s girlfriends- 'cause that’s their role! Girlfriend only! (Not to mention the “oh he falls for ugly girls,” thing. Like, seriously?)

Elena is near perfect- great ideals, hints at layered character- but even she is in the end almost solely remembered for the fact that she was Daemon’s wife/lover. She was clearly a vital member of the Primo generation, yet no guardian and completely forgotten because nobody recognized her? Tsuna must have been vetted extensively on the past bosses and their family as the Vonogola heir, yet he didn’t recognize her or had any idea about her existence.

Magi- the Simon child in the last Cozart memory in the Simon arc- Cozart stated that he and Giotto believed that Magi’s descendants would someday be able to laugh together with the Vongola descendants.  He and Giotto talked about this? Why not their own descendants (besides the fact that Cozart is obviously gay for Giotto, but that’s never confirmed)? Why think about Magi’s descendants? She’s a child! Once again: are you going to start this early with “that’s the only thing we need to know about this female side character”? 

Major pet peeve: MM being pitted against female characters. I still loathe the MM-Chrome interaction in the future arc where she slaps Chrome with all of my being.

YES! Like, the only interaction we’ve seen from MM is her swooning over Mukuro, her fighting Bianchi, her threatening and/or slapping Chrome OVER MUKURO and her complaining to Fran about him pronouncing her name wrong.

M.M.’s wiki entry personality summary: 

‘’She cares a lot about fashion and money, and prefers to date rich men. M.M. can be blunt and has a short temper. Despite this, she does have a caring side. She clearly has an interest in music.’’

Curse of the Rainbow arc? Oh, she’s there! But what a surprise- Levi’s interested in her and she’s all like: I’ll go on a date with you, but you’ll have to pay me for it!

Levi: The price is too high! 

There’s nothing wrong with hookers, it’s an honest profession, but as far as we know M.M. isn’t one!

Adel’s canon relationship with Julie. While Julie’s appearances have been mostly Daemon in disguise and therefore not actually good source material, the way she was reduced to a blushy mess, losing all composure suddenly over him… It felt like they took away a part of her.

Adel should be the one to have people being reduced into blushy messes and composure-losses over her. 

Chrome is subject to Mukuro’s whims. For the clearest example: Mukuro’s behaviour in the future arc. However, this eventually does lead to Chrome learning to stand in her own power in the Inheritance Arc. However, on the Inheritance arc: Chrome is the one abducted. Chrome is the one creeped on by Daemon.

There are things that I have a bone to pick with, the first one that pops into my head is how the girls are just there to cook and clean in the future arc. and then the part when the girls are in the bath and they see the wound Chrome has from training, I don’t remember the exact wording of the dialogue at that moment, but I remember that it made me want to punch something.

I found the accompanying scene:

Mochida treating Kyoko like a freaking prize and Kyoko never getting to punch him for it.

The list is endless.

Saviors

Kyoko gets rescued by Tsuna from Mochida. TYL!Kyoko gets rescued by Tsuna!

Haru is saved from drowning by Tsuna!

Chrome is constantly being saved by Mukuro, Ken and Chikusa. Her very life depends on this. Next to her organs, see Glo Xinia and many other instances.

This list would be VERY long if I went after every single instance in the manga.

Character Development

Where is my female character development? 'Cause I’m only seeing it in Bianchi, Chrome, Adel and Shittopi!

Conclusion

The Cervello are one of the few where little is to be said about. Daniela is the only non-villain(like appearance) besides Mami. Mami, who is one of the only female side characters that’s actually handled well. She’s believable, she’s the traumatic nightmare haunting Enma.

Oregano is also handled reasonably well (though I have to say, people, PLEASE stop making her the woman Iemitsu cheats on Nana within fanfiction). Sepira is good!

But the rest? The headlines in this post speak for themselves.

What I need, my friends, is for Operation: KHR Fix It Female to start Right. Now.

If I’m wrong on any of these points, guys, please tell me, because I’d LOVE to be wrong! To quote @i-w-p-chan: I need my fucking war axe.

#khr girls #khr #chrome dokuro #bianchi #suzuki Adelheid #Sasawaga Kyoko #Haru Miura #Bluebell #M.M. #Lal Mirch #Lavina #Shittopi #Oregano #Sawada Nana #I-pin

[enigmatic-elegance]

Hi I'm super curious but what's the house of nobles and why did it fail? And what was the lesson to learn from that? If you don't wanna answer that's okay, I'm just super curious

Okay, let’s strap in, this is gunna be a long one. Before I begin, there are two quick disclaimers I wanna get put on the record.

1. This is in no way an attack on the members of the House of Nobles or any particular people. In fact, most of the people involved I know to be amazing people OOCly with fantastic ideas and who are genuinely stellar writers and content creators. My intent is to put light on the mistakes that were made, in efforts that they not be made again. It’s to offer perspective from someone who was by and large totally against the HoN from start to finish, and a very vocal critic of it. Understand my critique is just that, critique of the event(s) and the way it/they operated. It does not in any way reflect my personal opinions on those who were involved who for the vast part I respect immensely.

2. I never have and never will advocate or support hate. There is a vast difference between offering genuine negative feedback and simply beating someone down and making them feel like shit. While I do feel the HoN leadership ignored a lot of potentially helpful feedback, I also know they received a share of blatant hatred in tow and that is unfair to anyone.

With that out of the way, let’s begin.

So who were the House of Nobles?

I’ll directly quote from the website and the tumblr, both of which are still up and available to browse.

The Stormwind House of Nobles is a body of players on the server of Wyrmrest Accord in World of Warcraft that role play as members from the Kingdom of Stormwind and it’s allies who form the governing body under the guidance of King Anduin Wrynn.

As the website goes on to explain, it is derived in large part from the Moon Guard project of the same name, with small adjustments made in efforts to better tailor it to the needs and the layout of the WrA community. It was made up of a body of mainly noble RPers, but there were some military and legislative RPers mixed in as well, and this was served with the hope of creating a platform not only to designate more city-based RP and events but also to engage the WrA community at large with passive-centered activity on the day to day life of Stormwind.

It is a lovely idea, but like many ideas there is the plan and then there is the execution. The plan was decent, the execution fell through. But we will get there.

Mind you, the House of Nobles was not a new thing to the WrA community. In fact, it had been attempted once before lead by another guild and GM. This project ultimately fell apart, and the reasons behind that were a little more sticky then I should get into here. Suffice it to say, it left a very bad taste in the mouth of most WrA RPers in regards to any house of noble project. I am not saying the issues of the first HoN should influence the second one when they were run by nearly totally different people, but we can’t deny that the reputation inherent to the name/idea didn’t help people swallow the concept any better.

So why did it fail?

1. People were being forced out of public spaces. And not once, or twice, but many times over the course of a month. The Pig, the barracks, people were being told OOCly to actually go and RP elsewhere because the space ‘belonged to the HoN’. Do that, people will get angry. no one owns any RP spots in this game.

2. The HoN was a popularity contest. Myself and other people on the server watched as people tried to run for positions and were not simply denied..but flat out ignored. People pushed, sent messages, tried to get into the HoN RP and were just brushed off. Those that got in, I noticed, were popular guild members, or those who were in good with the primary guilds. It soured the whole image of HoN.

3. The House of nobles fell into the same trap of ‘opt-in’ events I have made like a dozen posts on. It was not opt in. It created something that was supposed to change the face of the city, placing RPers in positions of real and city-wide power. And to say 'just ignore it’ is not accepting responsibility in any adult sense. Because half the city accepted it, and the other half did not. This meant that half the city of RP was in one storyline, the other half was not. It rifted the whole server, something the HoN never acknowledged even during the whole time being told they were creating massive lore conflict.

4. They were flat out telling people how to RP at their events. This is just rude, and should never be allowed. If you open an event to public, you can ICly ask for silence and respect. But if you open an event to the public and people RP being angry and yelling, that’s discourse. It’s expected at political events. To then OOCly rudely cast said people down..I got a LOT of whispers and talked to a lot of people who totally wrote off HoN when they were OOCly told to be quiet and stop RPing.

5. And above all this, the biggest issue is they did not once take steps to improve. To this day when I hear some people speak on what happened with the HoN, it is dismissive along the lines of ‘well people just don’t like noble RPers’. There were legit and powerful critiques. I was saying ALL of this as HoN was going on. Telling them these issues that the server was VERY mad at HoN over. And nothing happened. Instead we got posts from a few HoN members and others saying 'We will keep on despite all the haters!

HoN could have been amazing. But like the first HoN, it fell to it’s own trap of making it’s members feel themselves above reproach, and above the server. The server didn’t tolerate it, and what people saw was the reaction.

Now all of this sounds very harsh, and again I need to restate that this is in no way an attack on any of the members who took part in the HoN or enjoyed it. By what I saw, there were a few parts that actually were enjoyable and made for good RP. But I know from experience that we grow the most from negatives then positives. When I do an event, I would rather know more of what went wrong then what went right, because those are the areas we need to improve on. I feel it is vital that we not forget what went wrong, so in the future we can strive for better and better events that serve the community rather then divide it.

So what was the lesson?

I feel there were a few standing lessons to be learned from this, and what we as a community can do across the board.

1. Don’t shun negative feedback. As much as I say I value negative feedback, I too fall into a defensive stance when I receive it. It’s only natural, if we put time and heart into something we want to defend it. But we need to remember at the basis of any anger is hurt. Someone feels slighted or wronged, and while we don’t have to condone the anger, we do ourselves a disservice to discard what could be a very real complaint. Even aggression is a chance to grow, dismissing it as ‘haters’ is only going to show you have no intent to better yourself or your events. Take the negatives, process them, grow from them.

2. Slapping ‘opt in’ before your event does not immediately make it so. If I make an opt-in that I blew up the cathedral in SW, and half the server accepts it and half does not, I’ve just split the server in two. By trying to create inclusive RP I have in fact done the exact opposite. It’s important, when making any opt in, to ask the question ‘how does this affect people who do NOT opt in?’ It’s easy to say ‘just ignore it’ but if you are RPing the major ruling body of the city then you need to understand those not opting in are totally in a different playing space then those who do. A proper opt-in does not at all affect those who do not opt in. Good examples are the Holt’s kidnapping, or even the mermaid RP. Both of these RPs did not at all impact those who did not wish to take part. In fact, most people who were on the server had no goddamn idea they were happening! This means that those who wanted in could engage them, and those that didn’t lost absolutely nothing not being a part of it. Good opt-ins, both of them.

3. Understand this is RP. We have a responsibility to this server that our events and contributions contribute to a creative environment. We need to sometimes make concessions to that endeavor, it’s a collaborative effort. I was speaking to a friend who spoke that if nobles heard you speaking ill of them in the time you’d just be executed or imprisoned. True, that is true, but is it fair to say ‘because of my RP choice, I have rule over your character’s plot, path, and story.’ See, it’s touchy. Because there is a balance to strike between realism and the fact that we are writing with other players who have equal right to their character’s story and path. This is where OOC communication comes into play, but HoN taught us not only the value of that communication but what happens when that communication severs. HoN did not have an open dialogue with the server, yet they played a massive and forceful part of it’s collective story. This was the spark that lit the powder keg and in the end, that lack of dialogue set it up to fall from early on.

4. It is not ‘hopeless’. Often I see things akin to ‘well HoN failed so we can’t do any more RP events ever!’ I think that is unfair to say. Just because one thing fell short does not mean we need to be hopeless. Indeed it’s important if not vital to the server that we learn from where we made mistakes and grow from them. It’s how we better as RPers and as writers. For all my critique, HoN had a few things they did right. I saw in that group a love and passion for what they had created. I saw real effort and genuine care. I saw a lot of people coming together to create. These are beautiful things. And if we learn from where we failed, I know for a fact the server can make things like this in the future that will soar.

Conclusion

WrA is a fickle thing sometimes but it has some amazing and brilliant writers and creators. People who put real time, love, and even tears into their projects. And I am one of them. I feel those who call out the faults of others need make statement of their own failures and I will do so. I’ve failed before, with my guild in fact. The first time I made it, I fell flat, my character was shit and I got like three members before I gave up and deleted it. But I tried again a month later with a new angle and new outlook. I learned from where I went wrong, and the things I could improve on. I even learned from the angry critique others gave me on how I was doing things. And with that feedback, I changed by angle, and now operate the guild I do which is vastly successful and grows daily.

The biggest thing I can say we all should learn from HoN is that we are never going to stop learning. We are never perfect. And all feedback, positive and negative alike, should be taken to heart and used to grow and better ourselves. In this way, we can achieve the brilliance I know everyone on this server to be capable of.

That’s all I got. I hope I helped shed a little light on it. As always, I am only one perspective and there were many. Others may have totally different accounts. I hope if nothing else, the message rings true, and I hope it serves this server as we move forward to amazing things.

[bountyofbeads]

This is the reason people HATE politicians 😡🤬🤬🤬🤮🤮🤮

"Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie wants to be clear: He supports Donald J. Trump. But don’t you dare presume that he supports what Trump says or does." @conor64 on how Christie defended himself at the Aspen Ideas Festival:

Christie’s Scathing Indictment of Trump

He declared his intention to vote Trump in 2020—even though he thinks Trump surrounded himself with awful people.

9:45 AM ET

Conor Friedersdorf Staff writer |Published June 25, 2019 | The Atlantic | Posted June 25, 2019 |

Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie wants to be clear: He supports Donald J. Trump. But don’t you dare presume that he supports what Trump says or does.

Sure, he voted for Trump in 2016, but only reluctantly. And okay, he plans to vote for Trump again in 2020. But he’s adamantly opposed to many of the most consequential actions Trump has taken as president. He’ll even say so in public. Doesn’t that make him a good guy?

Christie did his damnedest Monday to convince a crowd at the Aspen Ideas Festival and his interviewer, the Atlantic editor in chief Jeffrey Goldberg, that his support for the president of the United States is morally and logically defensible.

It was tough in part because of his scathing, multi-count indictment of Trump. In 2016, Christie recounted, Jared Kushner called to say that Trump was “off the rails” in his attacks on Khizr Khan, whose son was killed in Iraq. Christie claimed credit for getting Trump to finally stop going after the gold-star father.

Read: Chris Christie claims his new book isn’t an act of revenge

He said that Trump has a bad temperament; that his tweets, his outbursts, and his sense of entitlement aren’t ever going to change; and that he surrounded himself with “awful people” from the beginning of his presidency.

Christie agreed with the characterization of Trump’s hiring process as “a rolling shit show.”

In Christie’s telling, Trump hired an incompetent national security adviser, Mike Flynn, after being repeatedly warned against doing so in the strongest terms; should not have tapped Tom Price as the Health and Human Services secretary; and erred again by hiring Scott Pruitt to head the EPA. Reince Priebus was a poor choice for White House chief of staff, he said, and Jeff Sessions an incompetent attorney general. He doesn’t think Steve Bannon should have been permitted to stick around after the campaign. “And what the hell was Omarosa doing in the White House?” he demanded.

Jared Kushner? He lacks the experience and savvy to be in the White House, Christie said.

Ivanka? Christie said he warned Trump not to give formal jobs to any family members, as doing so would put them in the political cross hairs and hamper other staffers as they walked on eggshells to avoid giving any offense.

A couple of the sexual-assault allegations against Trump may be credible, Christie said, but he doesn’t know whether they’re true and the statute of limitations has passed.

Trump’s call for a Muslim ban was “ridiculous,” he said, and “absolutely not what this country is about.” The fact that Trump didn’t know what the nuclear triad was during a presidential debate scares him “to a degree,” Christie acknowledged. Trump’s statement after the hate march in Charlottesville was unacceptable, he said, as was his criticism of Robert Mueller and the Russia investigation.

In Christie’s telling, Trump’s failure to strike Iran was a mistake that sent the wrong signal. His child-separation policy was “simply the wrong thing to do.” And on immigration generally, Christie said he disagrees with the president.

So why does he support Trump? Goldberg kept pressing for answers.

Christie says that after Trump’s showings in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina, he was certain that the real-estate mogul would be the Republican nominee. He felt he could stay on the sidelines or support Trump, gain a seat at the table, and improve Trump’s behavior.

What’s more, he said, even though he has disagreements with Trump, he felt more aligned with the businessman than with Hillary Clinton and the Democrats in an unusual election when lots of voters disliked both candidates.

In general, he argued, Republicans are sticking with Trump because they prefer his policies to Medicare for All, college-debt forgiveness, and the Green New Deal, among other progressive ideas, just as Democrats stuck with Bill Clinton in 1996, despite all his bad behavior, because they much preferred his agenda on a wide range of issues.

That’s how the system works, Christie said.

But there’s a glaring hole in his logic.

Early in his appearance, Christie told a story about going to an event on Long Island, New York, where David Stern, the former NBA commissioner, expressed a desire to “save his soul.” Stern ticked off a long list of objections to Trump. “When are you finally going to stand up?” Stern finally demanded of Christie.

“I ran against him!” Christie replied.

The single greatest thing you can do in American democracy to oppose a politician, Christie told the crowd in Aspen, “is to run and to try to beat that person.” What’s more, he suggested, America needs more moderates.

Christie could run against Trump again. Or he could urge another Republican to run against him in an attempt to get a superior standard-bearer through the GOP primary.

But he isn’t doing that. He’s talking as if choosing between Trump and whomever Democrats nominate is the only option. In the circumstances, that’s mad.

To review:

As Christie tells it, Trump wasn’t his first choice in 2016.

Then Trump was nominated and elected, and quickly staffed his administration with “awful people,” appointing multiple incompetents to lead Cabinet agencies.

He chose an unfit national security adviser, took the wrong side on immigration, failed in a national tragedy, impeded White House staff with his nepotism, irresponsibly criticized the Russia investigation, and made egregious political and moral errors besides.

And now Christie’s first choice in 2020 is … Trump?

That’s not a morally or logically coherent stance for Christie. In the past, Republicans challenged incumbents in their own party, including Gerald Ford and George H. W. Bush. Today, Republicans who grasp Trump’s shortcomings, as Christie demonstrably does, have a moral obligation to oppose his renomination. Those who don’t try are complicit hereafter in the very worst things that Trump does. Verbally scolding him is not nearly enough.

#donald trump #u.s. news #politics #trump administration #president donald trump #trump #republican politics #white house #politics and government #trump scandals #republican party #national security #must reads #us: news #elections #u.s. presidential elections #2020 candidates #2020 election

[jonathanbelloblog]

First Drive: 2019 Volvo XC40

BARCELONA, Spain — I came to the 2019 Volvo XC40 press preview expecting little more than a smaller version of Volvo’s other SUVs, and I bet most of you were anticipating the same. And who can blame us? All of the new-generation Volvos—XC90, XC60, S90, V90—are cut from the same cloth, and it’s not like we’re talking about cheap polyester.

What I found, though, was something very different. The XC40 has classic youngest-kid syndrome—you know, the one who tries to differentiate himself from his older siblings by getting tattoos and a nipple ring. Though the family resemblance is obvious, both in appearance and driving dynamics, the XC40 fights for its independence with a scrappy demeanor and a streak of rebellion—and that’s good news for potential buyers.

The XC40’s attitude is readily apparent in its dare-to-be-different styling. This is the most unique-looking SUV in Volvo’s refreshed lineup. While it shares its basic shape with other Volvo SUVs, it’s impossible to miss the kicked-up C-pillar (don’t tell Volvo, but it reminds me of the Jeep Compass’ shark fin), deeply sculpted lower door panels, and (optional) contrasting-color roof.

Still, don’t let the obvious details distract you from the more subtle ones like the concave grille, echoed at the back by a slight dishing of the XC40’s tailgate; the 90-degree seam formed by the front door, fender, and wrap-over hood; and the way four different body lines meet at the forward edge of the C-pillar. I’m tempted to say “It’s a Volvo, Jim, but not as we know it,” but I’m pretty sure the reference will be lost on the millennials at whom the XC40 is targeted. (Yes, kids, it’s true: Leonard Nimoy was on another TV show before Big Bang Theory.)

The XC40 is the first vehicle based on Volvo’s Compact Modular Architecture (CMA to its friends), as opposed to the Scalable Product Architecture (SPA) used for the 60- and 90-series vehicles. (One has to wonder: How scalable can an architecture be if Volvo needed a different one for their smaller cars?) Like the XC60, the XC40 uses MacPherson struts up front, but the four-link rear suspension employs coil springs instead of a transverse leaf.

Despite the architecture differences, the XC40 is just as good of a drive as the bigger Volvos, though it exhibits more spirit and attitude. The press preview featured XC40 R-Design models powered by the 248-hp T5 engine, which comes bundled with all-wheel-drive. This is the base powerplant for Volvo’s larger SUVs, but it’s the high-end motor for the XC40, which weighs some 200 lb less than the XC60 and 700 lb less than the XC90.

Removing the extra bulk does wonders. Whether you’re stopped at a light or need to jump into the passing lane, the T5-powered XC40 leaps ahead like an SUV possessed, and we’re inclined to believe Volvo’s 6.2-second claim for the 0-to-60 sprint. The eight-speed automatic transmission lives to downshift, and will happily do so with even the lightest prod of the pedal. This summer, Volvo will add the front-wheel-drive T4 powertrain, which shares the T5’s 2.0 liter displacement but uses a different turbo and tuning to deliver 185 hp (and, presumably, better fuel economy).

The XC40 R-Design features a sport-tuned suspension and the driving dynamics can best be described with the sort of boilerplate clichés that hacks like me use when we can’t come up with anything else: It turns in sharply, grips eagerly, and the body stays relatively flat in the turns. Steering effort is light, and its quick response and lack of feedback often results in direction changes that are rather more deliberate than the driver may have intended. My Automobile colleagues complained about this in the XC60; it seems more in line with the XC40’s scrappy character, though a little more road feel would be welcome. Still, it made me grin, and really, that’s all that counts. The XC40 has five selectable drive modes (Eco, Comfort, Dynamic, Off-Road and Individual) that are supposed to alter throttle, steering and braking response, but based on my experience there’s no point in pressing the button until the adjustable-damper option arrives later in 2018.

Inside, the XC40 gives up some of the elegance of the 60- and 90-series cars for a more “shabby chic” feel. Its upright cabin feels rather narrow, though the XC40 is actually one of the wider vehicles in the segment. Back seat legroom is good, but the seats themselves lack thigh support, which is both surprising and disappointing. The 20.7 cubic foot luggage bay seems to have been designed for people with a cargo-carrying fetish, what with its hidden storage, 60/40 split-fold back seat, and ski pass-through. You can even store the swing-up cargo cover under the cargo floor. What will they think of next?

In-cabin scored high in Volvo’s customer research clinics, and the XC40’s cabin is awash in bins and cubbies optimized for phones, tissue boxes, and other detritus of the dedicated road warrior. Volvo moved the front speakers from the doors to the dash so that the front door pockets could accommodate a 15-inch laptop. There’s a nifty mini trash can (removable and sporting a spring-loaded lid) built into the center armrest, though it won’t hold much more than a couple of balled-up burger wrappers and a discarded gum wrapper or two. The optional wireless charging pad is massive, future-proofing it against Samsung and Apple’s fixation on ever-larger phones, though I had trouble getting my old Samsung Galaxy S6 properly centered on the pad so that it would charge.

Like other Volvo models, the XC40 comes standard with the Sensus infotainment system and its portrait-oriented touchscreen. I fell in love with the tablet-style UI when it first came out, but I must admit that familiarity has bred contempt: A few week-long Volvo press loans have taught me that the navigation system can be difficult to program, and swiping and pinching your way between climate, audio and navigation options can get rather frustrating. New for the XC40 is an app-based “digital key” that will allow for easy car sharing; send someone a code and they can unlock and drive the car without a key—a feature that strikes me as both nifty and scary.

The XC40 is offered with four interior color choices—black, white, red and tan—but only in the entry-level Momentum model. The R-Design version, home to the wonderful sport-tuned suspension, comes exclusively in black, though you can get it with orange carpets and door panels. The orange is certainly cool—Helllooooo, 1970! Anyone wanna watch Laugh-In?—but I still think Volvo interiors look their best in lighter colors. Too bad you can only get them in the Momentum trim.

Volvo has priced the XC40 Momentum and R-Design models at $34,195 and $36,695 respectively, including a $995 destination charge. Opting for the T5/all-wheel-drive combo adds $2,000 to either trim. Standard equipment levels are impressive: Momentum models include leather upholstery, a power tailgate, and Apple CarPlay/Android Auto compatibility, while the R-Design adds navigation, 19” wheels, a hands-free tailgate, and other upgrades. Naturally, safety is high on the XC40’s priority list, with automatic emergency braking and lane- and road-departure mitigation as standard and a 360-degree camera, adaptive cruise, and blind-spot and cross-traffic warning on the options list.

The XC40 will be the first offering from Care by Volvo, the brand’s fledgling subscription-based ownership program. Pre-configured Momentum and R-Design models will be offered for $600 and $700 per month respectively (plus tax and a $500 deposit), a price that includes the car, insurance, and a 15,000 mile per year allowance maintenance for 24 months. Insurance is provided by Liberty Mutual, which can’t change the price but can say “no” to potential customers. After a year, buyers can “upgrade” to a new XC40 for a new 24-month term—though unless Volvo plans a return to Detroit-style yearly model changes, there doesn’t seem to be much reason to swap. This is a potential bargain for buyers who live in high insurance rate areas like New York or Frisco; still, Volvo insists this program isn’t about a cheap deal, but rather an easier experience for young buyers eager to bypass traditional dealer bullshit. You go online, you order your car, you make an appointment to pick it up, and that’s that—no more getting hassled by the F&I guy to buy an extended warranty or listening to the service writer extol the virtues of a $159 transmission flush.

It’s no secret that Automobile is a big fan of Volvo’s latest vehicles, and I think the XC40’s mission to bring younger buyers into the brand will be a successful one. The cheeky XC40 makes the Audi Q3, BMW X1 and Mercedes GLA look like old fuddy-duddies, and the driving experience gives the Mini Countryman a run for its money. Add in the reasonable price, high equipment level, and available hassle-free subscription plan, and the XC40 appears to be right on point. Like any little sibling, the XC40 is obviously clamoring for attention—and I think it’s going to get plenty.

2019 Volvo XC40 Specifications

ON SALE Spring 2018 PRICE $34,195 (base) ENGINE 2.0L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4/184-248 hp @ 5,500 rpm, 258 lb-ft @ 1,800-4,800 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed   automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, FWD/AWD SUV EPA MILEAGE N/A L x W x H 174.2 x 73.3 x 65.0 in WHEELBASE 106.4 in WEIGHT 3,710-3,820 lb 0-60 MPH 6.2 sec TOP SPEED 140 mph

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[eddiejpoplar]

First Drive: 2019 Volvo XC40

BARCELONA, Spain — I came to the 2019 Volvo XC40 press preview expecting little more than a smaller version of Volvo’s other SUVs, and I bet most of you were anticipating the same. And who can blame us? All of the new-generation Volvos—XC90, XC60, S90, V90—are cut from the same cloth, and it’s not like we’re talking about cheap polyester.

What I found, though, was something very different. The XC40 has classic youngest-kid syndrome—you know, the one who tries to differentiate himself from his older siblings by getting tattoos and a nipple ring. Though the family resemblance is obvious, both in appearance and driving dynamics, the XC40 fights for its independence with a scrappy demeanor and a streak of rebellion—and that’s good news for potential buyers.

The XC40’s attitude is readily apparent in its dare-to-be-different styling. This is the most unique-looking SUV in Volvo’s refreshed lineup. While it shares its basic shape with other Volvo SUVs, it’s impossible to miss the kicked-up C-pillar (don’t tell Volvo, but it reminds me of the Jeep Compass’ shark fin), deeply sculpted lower door panels, and (optional) contrasting-color roof.

Still, don’t let the obvious details distract you from the more subtle ones like the concave grille, echoed at the back by a slight dishing of the XC40’s tailgate; the 90-degree seam formed by the front door, fender, and wrap-over hood; and the way four different body lines meet at the forward edge of the C-pillar. I’m tempted to say “It’s a Volvo, Jim, but not as we know it,” but I’m pretty sure the reference will be lost on the millennials at whom the XC40 is targeted. (Yes, kids, it’s true: Leonard Nimoy was on another TV show before Big Bang Theory.)

The XC40 is the first vehicle based on Volvo’s Compact Modular Architecture (CMA to its friends), as opposed to the Scalable Product Architecture (SPA) used for the 60- and 90-series vehicles. (One has to wonder: How scalable can an architecture be if Volvo needed a different one for their smaller cars?) Like the XC60, the XC40 uses MacPherson struts up front, but the four-link rear suspension employs coil springs instead of a transverse leaf.

Despite the architecture differences, the XC40 is just as good of a drive as the bigger Volvos, though it exhibits more spirit and attitude. The press preview featured XC40 R-Design models powered by the 248-hp T5 engine, which comes bundled with all-wheel-drive. This is the base powerplant for Volvo’s larger SUVs, but it’s the high-end motor for the XC40, which weighs some 200 lb less than the XC60 and 700 lb less than the XC90.

Removing the extra bulk does wonders. Whether you’re stopped at a light or need to jump into the passing lane, the T5-powered XC40 leaps ahead like an SUV possessed, and we’re inclined to believe Volvo’s 6.2-second claim for the 0-to-60 sprint. The eight-speed automatic transmission lives to downshift, and will happily do so with even the lightest prod of the pedal. This summer, Volvo will add the front-wheel-drive T4 powertrain, which shares the T5’s 2.0 liter displacement but uses a different turbo and tuning to deliver 185 hp (and, presumably, better fuel economy).

The XC40 R-Design features a sport-tuned suspension and the driving dynamics can best be described with the sort of boilerplate clichés that hacks like me use when we can’t come up with anything else: It turns in sharply, grips eagerly, and the body stays relatively flat in the turns. Steering effort is light, and its quick response and lack of feedback often results in direction changes that are rather more deliberate than the driver may have intended. My Automobile colleagues complained about this in the XC60; it seems more in line with the XC40’s scrappy character, though a little more road feel would be welcome. Still, it made me grin, and really, that’s all that counts. The XC40 has five selectable drive modes (Eco, Comfort, Dynamic, Off-Road and Individual) that are supposed to alter throttle, steering and braking response, but based on my experience there’s no point in pressing the button until the adjustable-damper option arrives later in 2018.

Inside, the XC40 gives up some of the elegance of the 60- and 90-series cars for a more “shabby chic” feel. Its upright cabin feels rather narrow, though the XC40 is actually one of the wider vehicles in the segment. Back seat legroom is good, but the seats themselves lack thigh support, which is both surprising and disappointing. The 20.7 cubic foot luggage bay seems to have been designed for people with a cargo-carrying fetish, what with its hidden storage, 60/40 split-fold back seat, and ski pass-through. You can even store the swing-up cargo cover under the cargo floor. What will they think of next?

In-cabin scored high in Volvo’s customer research clinics, and the XC40’s cabin is awash in bins and cubbies optimized for phones, tissue boxes, and other detritus of the dedicated road warrior. Volvo moved the front speakers from the doors to the dash so that the front door pockets could accommodate a 15-inch laptop. There’s a nifty mini trash can (removable and sporting a spring-loaded lid) built into the center armrest, though it won’t hold much more than a couple of balled-up burger wrappers and a discarded gum wrapper or two. The optional wireless charging pad is massive, future-proofing it against Samsung and Apple’s fixation on ever-larger phones, though I had trouble getting my old Samsung Galaxy S6 properly centered on the pad so that it would charge.

Like other Volvo models, the XC40 comes standard with the Sensus infotainment system and its portrait-oriented touchscreen. I fell in love with the tablet-style UI when it first came out, but I must admit that familiarity has bred contempt: A few week-long Volvo press loans have taught me that the navigation system can be difficult to program, and swiping and pinching your way between climate, audio and navigation options can get rather frustrating. New for the XC40 is an app-based “digital key” that will allow for easy car sharing; send someone a code and they can unlock and drive the car without a key—a feature that strikes me as both nifty and scary.

The XC40 is offered with four interior color choices—black, white, red and tan—but only in the entry-level Momentum model. The R-Design version, home to the wonderful sport-tuned suspension, comes exclusively in black, though you can get it with orange carpets and door panels. The orange is certainly cool—Helllooooo, 1970! Anyone wanna watch Laugh-In?—but I still think Volvo interiors look their best in lighter colors. Too bad you can only get them in the Momentum trim.

Volvo has priced the XC40 Momentum and R-Design models at $34,195 and $36,695 respectively, including a $995 destination charge. Opting for the T5/all-wheel-drive combo adds $2,000 to either trim. Standard equipment levels are impressive: Momentum models include leather upholstery, a power tailgate, and Apple CarPlay/Android Auto compatibility, while the R-Design adds navigation, 19” wheels, a hands-free tailgate, and other upgrades. Naturally, safety is high on the XC40’s priority list, with automatic emergency braking and lane- and road-departure mitigation as standard and a 360-degree camera, adaptive cruise, and blind-spot and cross-traffic warning on the options list.

The XC40 will be the first offering from Care by Volvo, the brand’s fledgling subscription-based ownership program. Pre-configured Momentum and R-Design models will be offered for $600 and $700 per month respectively (plus tax and a $500 deposit), a price that includes the car, insurance, and a 15,000 mile per year allowance maintenance for 24 months. Insurance is provided by Liberty Mutual, which can’t change the price but can say “no” to potential customers. After a year, buyers can “upgrade” to a new XC40 for a new 24-month term—though unless Volvo plans a return to Detroit-style yearly model changes, there doesn’t seem to be much reason to swap. This is a potential bargain for buyers who live in high insurance rate areas like New York or Frisco; still, Volvo insists this program isn’t about a cheap deal, but rather an easier experience for young buyers eager to bypass traditional dealer bullshit. You go online, you order your car, you make an appointment to pick it up, and that’s that—no more getting hassled by the F&I guy to buy an extended warranty or listening to the service writer extol the virtues of a $159 transmission flush.

It’s no secret that Automobile is a big fan of Volvo’s latest vehicles, and I think the XC40’s mission to bring younger buyers into the brand will be a successful one. The cheeky XC40 makes the Audi Q3, BMW X1 and Mercedes GLA look like old fuddy-duddies, and the driving experience gives the Mini Countryman a run for its money. Add in the reasonable price, high equipment level, and available hassle-free subscription plan, and the XC40 appears to be right on point. Like any little sibling, the XC40 is obviously clamoring for attention—and I think it’s going to get plenty.

2019 Volvo XC40 Specifications

ON SALE Spring 2018 PRICE $34,195 (base) ENGINE 2.0L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4/184-248 hp @ 5,500 rpm, 258 lb-ft @ 1,800-4,800 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed   automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, FWD/AWD SUV EPA MILEAGE N/A L x W x H 174.2 x 73.3 x 65.0 in WHEELBASE 106.4 in WEIGHT 3,710-3,820 lb 0-60 MPH 6.2 sec TOP SPEED 140 mph

#IFTTT #Performance Junk Blogger 6

[jesusvasser]

First Drive: 2019 Volvo XC40

BARCELONA, Spain — I came to the 2019 Volvo XC40 press preview expecting little more than a smaller version of Volvo’s other SUVs, and I bet most of you were anticipating the same. And who can blame us? All of the new-generation Volvos—XC90, XC60, S90, V90—are cut from the same cloth, and it’s not like we’re talking about cheap polyester.

What I found, though, was something very different. The XC40 has classic youngest-kid syndrome—you know, the one who tries to differentiate himself from his older siblings by getting tattoos and a nipple ring. Though the family resemblance is obvious, both in appearance and driving dynamics, the XC40 fights for its independence with a scrappy demeanor and a streak of rebellion—and that’s good news for potential buyers.

The XC40’s attitude is readily apparent in its dare-to-be-different styling. This is the most unique-looking SUV in Volvo’s refreshed lineup. While it shares its basic shape with other Volvo SUVs, it’s impossible to miss the kicked-up C-pillar (don’t tell Volvo, but it reminds me of the Jeep Compass’ shark fin), deeply sculpted lower door panels, and (optional) contrasting-color roof.

Still, don’t let the obvious details distract you from the more subtle ones like the concave grille, echoed at the back by a slight dishing of the XC40’s tailgate; the 90-degree seam formed by the front door, fender, and wrap-over hood; and the way four different body lines meet at the forward edge of the C-pillar. I’m tempted to say “It’s a Volvo, Jim, but not as we know it,” but I’m pretty sure the reference will be lost on the millennials at whom the XC40 is targeted. (Yes, kids, it’s true: Leonard Nimoy was on another TV show before Big Bang Theory.)

The XC40 is the first vehicle based on Volvo’s Compact Modular Architecture (CMA to its friends), as opposed to the Scalable Product Architecture (SPA) used for the 60- and 90-series vehicles. (One has to wonder: How scalable can an architecture be if Volvo needed a different one for their smaller cars?) Like the XC60, the XC40 uses MacPherson struts up front, but the four-link rear suspension employs coil springs instead of a transverse leaf.

Despite the architecture differences, the XC40 is just as good of a drive as the bigger Volvos, though it exhibits more spirit and attitude. The press preview featured XC40 R-Design models powered by the 248-hp T5 engine, which comes bundled with all-wheel-drive. This is the base powerplant for Volvo’s larger SUVs, but it’s the high-end motor for the XC40, which weighs some 200 lb less than the XC60 and 700 lb less than the XC90.

Removing the extra bulk does wonders. Whether you’re stopped at a light or need to jump into the passing lane, the T5-powered XC40 leaps ahead like an SUV possessed, and we’re inclined to believe Volvo’s 6.2-second claim for the 0-to-60 sprint. The eight-speed automatic transmission lives to downshift, and will happily do so with even the lightest prod of the pedal. This summer, Volvo will add the front-wheel-drive T4 powertrain, which shares the T5’s 2.0 liter displacement but uses a different turbo and tuning to deliver 185 hp (and, presumably, better fuel economy).

The XC40 R-Design features a sport-tuned suspension and the driving dynamics can best be described with the sort of boilerplate clichés that hacks like me use when we can’t come up with anything else: It turns in sharply, grips eagerly, and the body stays relatively flat in the turns. Steering effort is light, and its quick response and lack of feedback often results in direction changes that are rather more deliberate than the driver may have intended. My Automobile colleagues complained about this in the XC60; it seems more in line with the XC40’s scrappy character, though a little more road feel would be welcome. Still, it made me grin, and really, that’s all that counts. The XC40 has five selectable drive modes (Eco, Comfort, Dynamic, Off-Road and Individual) that are supposed to alter throttle, steering and braking response, but based on my experience there’s no point in pressing the button until the adjustable-damper option arrives later in 2018.

Inside, the XC40 gives up some of the elegance of the 60- and 90-series cars for a more “shabby chic” feel. Its upright cabin feels rather narrow, though the XC40 is actually one of the wider vehicles in the segment. Back seat legroom is good, but the seats themselves lack thigh support, which is both surprising and disappointing. The 20.7 cubic foot luggage bay seems to have been designed for people with a cargo-carrying fetish, what with its hidden storage, 60/40 split-fold back seat, and ski pass-through. You can even store the swing-up cargo cover under the cargo floor. What will they think of next?

In-cabin scored high in Volvo’s customer research clinics, and the XC40’s cabin is awash in bins and cubbies optimized for phones, tissue boxes, and other detritus of the dedicated road warrior. Volvo moved the front speakers from the doors to the dash so that the front door pockets could accommodate a 15-inch laptop. There’s a nifty mini trash can (removable and sporting a spring-loaded lid) built into the center armrest, though it won’t hold much more than a couple of balled-up burger wrappers and a discarded gum wrapper or two. The optional wireless charging pad is massive, future-proofing it against Samsung and Apple’s fixation on ever-larger phones, though I had trouble getting my old Samsung Galaxy S6 properly centered on the pad so that it would charge.

Like other Volvo models, the XC40 comes standard with the Sensus infotainment system and its portrait-oriented touchscreen. I fell in love with the tablet-style UI when it first came out, but I must admit that familiarity has bred contempt: A few week-long Volvo press loans have taught me that the navigation system can be difficult to program, and swiping and pinching your way between climate, audio and navigation options can get rather frustrating. New for the XC40 is an app-based “digital key” that will allow for easy car sharing; send someone a code and they can unlock and drive the car without a key—a feature that strikes me as both nifty and scary.

The XC40 is offered with four interior color choices—black, white, red and tan—but only in the entry-level Momentum model. The R-Design version, home to the wonderful sport-tuned suspension, comes exclusively in black, though you can get it with orange carpets and door panels. The orange is certainly cool—Helllooooo, 1970! Anyone wanna watch Laugh-In?—but I still think Volvo interiors look their best in lighter colors. Too bad you can only get them in the Momentum trim.

Volvo has priced the XC40 Momentum and R-Design models at $34,195 and $36,695 respectively, including a $995 destination charge. Opting for the T5/all-wheel-drive combo adds $2,000 to either trim. Standard equipment levels are impressive: Momentum models include leather upholstery, a power tailgate, and Apple CarPlay/Android Auto compatibility, while the R-Design adds navigation, 19” wheels, a hands-free tailgate, and other upgrades. Naturally, safety is high on the XC40’s priority list, with automatic emergency braking and lane- and road-departure mitigation as standard and a 360-degree camera, adaptive cruise, and blind-spot and cross-traffic warning on the options list.

The XC40 will be the first offering from Care by Volvo, the brand’s fledgling subscription-based ownership program. Pre-configured Momentum and R-Design models will be offered for $600 and $700 per month respectively (plus tax and a $500 deposit), a price that includes the car, insurance, and a 15,000 mile per year allowance maintenance for 24 months. Insurance is provided by Liberty Mutual, which can’t change the price but can say “no” to potential customers. After a year, buyers can “upgrade” to a new XC40 for a new 24-month term—though unless Volvo plans a return to Detroit-style yearly model changes, there doesn’t seem to be much reason to swap. This is a potential bargain for buyers who live in high insurance rate areas like New York or Frisco; still, Volvo insists this program isn’t about a cheap deal, but rather an easier experience for young buyers eager to bypass traditional dealer bullshit. You go online, you order your car, you make an appointment to pick it up, and that’s that—no more getting hassled by the F&I guy to buy an extended warranty or listening to the service writer extol the virtues of a $159 transmission flush.

It’s no secret that Automobile is a big fan of Volvo’s latest vehicles, and I think the XC40’s mission to bring younger buyers into the brand will be a successful one. The cheeky XC40 makes the Audi Q3, BMW X1 and Mercedes GLA look like old fuddy-duddies, and the driving experience gives the Mini Countryman a run for its money. Add in the reasonable price, high equipment level, and available hassle-free subscription plan, and the XC40 appears to be right on point. Like any little sibling, the XC40 is obviously clamoring for attention—and I think it’s going to get plenty.

2019 Volvo XC40 Specifications

ON SALE Spring 2018 PRICE $34,195 (base) ENGINE 2.0L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4/184-248 hp @ 5,500 rpm, 258 lb-ft @ 1,800-4,800 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed   automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, FWD/AWD SUV EPA MILEAGE N/A L x W x H 174.2 x 73.3 x 65.0 in WHEELBASE 106.4 in WEIGHT 3,710-3,820 lb 0-60 MPH 6.2 sec TOP SPEED 140 mph

#IFTTT #Performance Junk WP Feed 4