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imagination-is-key-in-my-world · 4 years

Text

Chime

Authors Note: I am 100% a big fan of A Cinderella Story which is what had inspired me to write this piece. I know it has been a long time since I had written anything but a lot has been going on in my life. This story is inspired by my own mental health issues as well as my ultimate dream that Tom Holland would sweep me off my feet. [Do not tell my Fiancé that I told you guys that!] Also, I got a brand-new laptop that has made writing so much more efficient than my iPad. Hopefully, I will be more active on my page. Please feel free to contact me to share your thoughts.

Summary: So, you are currently struggling with anxiety which is not easy as a high school student. Things are not getting easier now that your best friend is leaving to go to another school, leaving you behind to deal with your senior year alone. That is how you feel every day – alone. But your life suddenly changes when you stumble across an app that allows people to chat anonymously with people who share similar interests without sharing too much. Only you did not expect that this new app would take over your life and provide you with someone who you no longer think you could cope without. But who is on the other end of the phone?

Warning: Possible swearing and mental health triggers.

Pairing: Reader x Tom Holland

Word Count: 6,758

Counting the dew drops on the window was getting completely tedious at this point. There you sat in complete silence for what must have been a couple of minutes. But to you, it had felt like hours, if not days. Not that you were being dramatic at all.

You are not exactly the type of person who many people would typically associate with the nature of popularity. You did not have that many followers on your social media accounts. Therefore, it should not have been that surprising that your phone was not “blowing” up with notifications at this time of day.

Your best friend Cleo always told you that if you wanted to make something of your life, you needed to leave the house for more than just school.

“But!” You would always protest, “everything I need is right here.” Cleo was one member of a small social group that you bothered with both in and outside of school. When it came to forming groups in class, all your teachers knew that you needed to be put with a friend or you would be catastrophically unresponsive with a slight hint of a mini meltdown beginning to form.

The thing is you suffer with a high level of anxiety when it comes to meeting and conversing with people outside of your friendship circle. To make matters worse, the whole school was aware of this problem and would constantly tease and mimic the blubbering mess you turned into when you had to answer a question in the middle of class. There would be pointing as well as laughing as you would literally shake and break a sweat in front of everyone. Let us just say, this may have been one of the many reasons that your group only had 5 members and that includes you and queen Cleo.

The phone chimed and it shook you from your thoughts. When you finally unlocked it, you noticed that it was only Cleo cancelling on you yet again. Earlier that evening you had asked Cleo to come over and discuss the nature of Cleo moving schools in the fall. Both of you were meant to discuss how you personally were going to cope with the everyday torment and painful endeavours that was a big part of school life. But from that disappointed look on your face, it was obvious that Cleo was only blowing you off to spend more time with her new boyfriend.

“Knock knock” Your mother stated as she blatantly barged into your room. “Hey baby, I’m going to the store do you need anything at all?” As per usual you would shake your head and try not to make any eye contact with your mother at all. “Okay, well make sure that you feed the dog for me while I am gone and try and get some sun, you’re looking a little pale, baby.”

It was typical of your mother to attempt to force you out of your comfort zone. It was getting quite embarrassing for her at the teacher/parent evenings when she was called in to discuss another “issue.” It is not like you do not want to make more of an effort in class and with people, it just does not come as easy to you as it may for everyone else. The idea of people hearing you call out an answer in class and have it been wrong is absolutely devastating and crucifying for you.

You picked up your phone and decided that Facebook was worth one last scroll through before you decide that it was worthless and throw your phone back onto the bed for the 14th time that day. You were scrolling away half-heartedly, not really reading through the posts that people had shared as it was probably the same drama that it always was. It was as you thought, but suddenly your mind decided to switch back on when it reached a pop up that you would typically ignore. “Attention all Introverts.” Obviously, this caught your attention, it was in freaking bold print. You cannot ignore anything when it is in bold print! Clicking on the link, you decided to curiously read on.

“Attention all Introverts,

Have you ever felt lonely and isolated? Well this is the app for you. Become anyone you want to be, talk to anyone you would like – with total anonymity.

[This app gives you the confidence to express yourself to total strangers without the fear of judgements. If you are terrified of being vulnerable around other people while being your true self, then this is the app for you]”

Of course, you were sceptical at first but that was when you remembered how difficult it was to be your friend, relative and even teacher. Then before you could even stop yourself, you clicked onto the app and the download began. Nothing happened at all, other than the app appearing onto your phone’s home screen amongst other apps like Tumblr and Facebook. But you just thought there was going to be a sudden flash of lightning and you would be overwhelmed with confidence like you see in the movies. However, this was not the movies, this was your life and there you sat on the edge of your bed still shaking like a leaf.

It took you about half an hour to install all of your relevant information into the app. Mostly because you were trying to convince yourself that it was a stupid idea and that you should just delete it straight away. Although there was a faint voice in the back of your head telling you to do it. Part of it sounded like Cleo, while another part of the voice sounded like a stranger to you.

Once you had finished setting up the app, you left your phone on your dresser and walked into the lounge to watch that new episode of Ru Paul’s drag race that you had missed on Netflix. You managed to get through two episodes, a giant bag of Cheetos and a litre of Dr Pepper before crashing out on the sofa.

A loud chime from the bedroom woke you from your slumber. Your mother was sat on the edge of the sofa watching one of her true crime documentaries when she noticed you becoming startled.

“You okay honey?” You wipe your eyes and nod. “Do you want anything to eat or are you all set for bed?”

“Bed.” You mumble as you pick up the rubbish that had surrounded you on your makeshift bed for the afternoon.

“Okay, love you honey.” She called back as you threw away the rubbish into the trash and made your way into your bedroom. You practically fell onto your bed before you remembered the chime that had woken you in the first place. Grasping your phone, you unlocked it hesitantly, shielding your eyes from the brightness behind it to reveal a message from an unknown number. One word, one syllable and one emotion, fear.

‘Hey’

In your head these words kept rolling through your mind. What do I do now? Do I message back or do I leave it alone? Will they think I am ignoring them if I do not reply? Well of course they would, the app has probably notified them that it has been read. You started pacing in your bedroom chanting the words over and over in your head ‘What do I do? What do I do?’

It was almost like a reflex after a while as your fingers typed away.

‘HEY’ Too eager

‘Hiya’ Too girly

‘Hi’ Too blunt

Sup’ Too weird

Each message you typed your anxiety took over and criticised it, controlling your fingers to delete and retype.

‘Hey’ Was the message that you had settled for. It had been almost an hour and a half since you had received the message from Lonerboy101 and you had not even pressed send yet. The message was still sitting in your text box with the curser bouncing away at the end of the sentence.

There was a knock at your door which startled you, causing your fingers to slide across the phone’s screen. “I’m going to bed now Hun, goodnight.”

“Night.” You tried hard to sound cheery but as per usual failed to do so as your mother closed your bedroom door. ‘No, no, no’ you repeated in a small murmur. Fear washed over you as you regretted every minute that it took to write that message and the one milli second that it took to get sent out through the universe to reach this Lonerboy101.

You dropped the phone into your duvet and grabbed the pillow next to you. Bringing the plush cushion up to your face, burying it to let out a light scream.

*Chime*

Lonerboy101 - ‘How long did it take you to write that message. Mine took about 2 hours.’

You reread the message a couple of times because you couldn’t believe that although this person knew you were somewhat ignoring him off when you had initially received his message, he still replied to yours. Not only that but he had made a joke about how long it had taken to send a reply.

It took you a couple of minutes to decide whether you were going to go through with it and message this person back. Or whether you should just back out now and forget that this ever happened.

But that was your phone in your hand and those were your fingers typing a reply.

Hidingintheshadows - ‘About an hour and a half.’

You sent the reply off and almost felt a sudden pang of relief. That this was not as bad as you had originally perceived it to be. That it was almost the same as talking to Cleo or any of the other girls.

*Chime*

Lonerboy101 - ‘So, this is weird right?’

Before you knew it, the delays between the messages decreased quite significantly. There was the standard 3 minutes to think of a response and then another 5 to send the message but the conversation had felt a little less risky compared to how it did at the very start.

Hidingintheshadows - ‘It is a bit weird, I guess.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘So, are you an old creepy guy like me?

Hidingintheshadows - ‘That is a joke, right?’

Lonerboy101 - ‘Yeah it is a joke, sorry very dry sense of humour. Don’t have that many people to try my jokes out on.’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘That’s a relief.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘It’s a relief that I do not have many friends?’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘No! I did not mean that! I am so sorry.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘Another joke. Sorry when I am nervous, I tell bad jokes. I forget that I am not really good at them and text form is really hard to tell tone.’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘Sorry for not being able to tell when you’re joking.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘Don’t worry, you wouldn’t be the first. Although you probably are, I only just downloaded this app today.’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘Same.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘You don’t say [type] much do you?’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘Not really, sorry.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘You know you don’t have to keep apologising to me all the time, right?’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘Oh sorry.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘[insert face palm emoji]’

The last message made you smile. Cleo had always been telling you that you apologise way too much and that it can get annoying. It would get to the point where you would apologise for things you did not do just because it sounded like the right thing to say.

Hidingintheshadows - ‘I will work on it.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘So what brings you to Introverted Conversions?’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘Fear of the world and everyone in it, basically.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘Oh my gosh same!’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘Really?’

Lonerboy101 - ‘No, but I am touched that you still cannot sense my sarcasm.’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘I’ll work on that too.’

Lonerboy101 - ‘Promise?’

Hidingintheshadows - ‘Promise!’

It had almost become a routine for you and Lonerboy101 to talk during the late afternoon and evening. Occasionally, you would get notified in the middle of the day, but he knew that you were not ignoring him and that you had school obligations. No one really knows about him at all, you have done well at keeping this away from Cleo as you knew she would only judge you for it.

‘You’re talking to a stranger online who had admitted he was an old creepy man.’ Even the thought made you laugh. Since the first night, you had discovered a lot about Lonerboy101. Nothing like names and addresses. But more personal stuff like how it feels having crippling anxiety and not having someone who really understands.

***

It was the last day before Cleo left for her new school and you woke up feeling quite comfortable for the first time in a long time. It was almost as if your body has finally gotten used to the idea that the day was going to come that you would need to stand up on your own. It was not a good feeling per say, but it was slightly empowering to know that you could become your own person, instead of being Cleo’s weird friend.

*Chime*

Your heart began to beat rapidly in your chest as you practically dove for the phone on your bed. Only to have it violently shoot back down when the name on your lock screen did not read Lonerboy101.

Cleo – ‘Hey, I am downstairs! Snag me a piece of toast considering you are not exactly going to eat it!’

Every morning your mum would make pancakes, French toast, and scrambled eggs that you could choose from to snack on during your walk to school. Only you are not exactly a French toast and scrambled eggs kind of person and she knows that. It is just her way of trying to make a connection with you early in the day.

You – ‘Be right down, pancakes or French toast?’

You replied as you waved to your mum who was sliding through her emails while nursing a hot mug of coffee. “Hey, Baby! Have a great day at school, okay?” The last part of this routine she does every morning always feels like she is questioning you, making sure that you are aware that a ‘great day at school’ depends 100% on you alone.

*Chime*

Lonerboy101 – ‘Pancakes please. Although, I don’t think they will be any good by the time I receive them!’

‘Oh no!’ You thought. You did not think really think to check the contact that you were on when you sent the message out. You had simply read the lock screen and the most recent person you were chatting to was the person that appeared on the screen.

Quickly you grabbed a pancake and your bags and sulked out the door.

Hidingintheshadows – ‘I am so sorry, that was meant for my friend.’

Lonerboy101 – ‘Are we not friends? I am offended’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘Wait no I mean yes you are, but I do not really know you. God I am sorry…’

Lonerboy101 – ‘Wow! What did I say about the apologising? And what about the whole sarcasm thing? You should now know when I am pulling your chain.’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘Sorry’

Lonerboy101 – ‘No. More. Sorry.’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘Damn, I didn’t mean to I swear.’

Lonerboy101 – ‘Calm, it is okay. Chain. Pulling. But going back to this pancake…’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘What about it?’

Lonerboy101 – ‘You have made me hungry. And now I need to go out and find me a pancake to soothe this carb craving I have going on.’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘Good luck with that.’

Lonerboy101 – ‘Good Luck with school today! Speak to you later! X’

What the heck is that? Fear washed over your face as you met Cleo at the bottom of the stairs to your apartment building.

“Y/N? Are you okay? You look a little pale?” It took everything you had to not blurt out every little secret that you had been keeping about Lonerboy101 to Cleo. To almost get some advice on how to handle this newfound “boy drama” in your life. You open your mouth to begin to spill the beans. “Oh, I know!” Cleo interrupted, “it is because today is my last day and you have no idea how you will survive without me!”

Not quite on the nose but nice to see that your friend really does care about you, while she makes every drama about herself. This was just another typical response from Cleo. One you have put up with for an exceptionally long time. Instead of arguing with your best friend on the beginning of her last day, you decide to just bite your lip and nod.

“It will be okay, sunshine!” A little nickname she gave you when you were both little and in Kindergarten. “We will still have Facetime and we can still meet up during the holidays.” Suddenly you were pulled into a tight embrace as an overexaggerated sigh left her lips. “Now come on mopey.” Yet another nickname that you were given because of your constant state of enthusiasm caused by your mental condition. “Let’s get to school before people forget that they will never see this face walk those halls again.”

Meanwhile in your head the little “X” at the end of Lonerboy101’s latest reply repeatedly flashed across your mind as Cleo droned on about how annoying packing up her extensive collection of shoes and makeup has been for her.

***

It did not matter what lesson you were in, if you were having “a moment” as your mother likes to call it, everything just seems to become pointless. Science was one of your favourite subjects mainly because of the unpredictable experiments that you can perform. But today it just seemed as though someone had placed a weighted scarf on top of your shoulders and told you to “deal with it.”

“Can anyone tell me their findings from their group’s chemical reaction?” All eyes went to you as everyone in the class knew that you were Mr King’s favourite pupil. Mr King was the only teacher that managed to get a response out of you in class. But today, he might as well have been talking to a brick wall.

“Y/N?” This would later be explained to you after class that it was the fifth attempt Mr King had made to pry your attention away from your notebook where you had been filling in the margins with your pen.

When you looked up, there were people gossiping and snickering about what they had just witnessed. “Can I see you after class?” Mr King had asked once he regained the focus of the class.

This was not the first time that a teacher had asked to speak with you after class. Especially Mr King. Not that he made a habit to discipline you outside of lesson, but because he was always concerned about how you were feeling after you had one of you “moments.”

“What is going on, Y/N? Do I need to call your mother?” He did not say it in a stern way that other teachers would have. But for him, it was more of a genuine question for your own personal well-being. “Some of the other teacher’s approached me today in the teacher’s lounge to discuss you. They said that you have been unresponsive all day. I heard that Cleo is leaving today, does that have anything to do with how you’re coping with today?”

You shook your head. “Cleo has nothing to do with it!” You snapped, and you never snap which startled Mr King. “I’m sorry.” You whispered when you saw how set back, he was from your reply. “I just do not know what to do anymore.”

“With what?” He perched on the edge of his desk. Holding his hand up to stop the next class from entering the classroom. “What is getting to you? I can see if I can help?” While most teachers would just shrug you off, Mr King tried to get down to the root problem to help you resolve any issue that you may be having during the day. This was because Mr King had made you aware that his daughter too suffers from major anxiety issues as well.

“It’s stupid, I should not have said anything. I will be okay, Mr King.” You gathered your books from the table and stuffed them into the oversized backpack that was now slung over your shoulder. “Can you quickly write me a note for Mrs Bateman? I do not want the teachers to have more of a reason to talk about me.”

Mr King picked up a pad and pen and began to write a note excusing you for your lateness. “It will get better, Y/N. I am here whenever you need a chat, okay?” He handed you the note and you basically bolted out of the room.

Although you felt bad for being short with Mr King, you could not quite help it. It was not as if you could simply come out and tell him that you were not upset because your best friend for 16 years was now leaving you behind. But it was all down to an “X” placed on the end of a text message from a boy you have not met but have been talking to for 3 weeks non-stop!

***

You slowly approached the lunch table that you and your friends sat at during every lunch since you had started at the school. They were all laughing and joking which did slightly lift your spirits. Cleo had turned to look over her shoulder and noticed your arrival. The smile on her face had sank and the laughing at the table had died along with it.

“Hey Y/N!” Cleo tried to sound pleased to see you but you knew something was up. Since when was Cleo being false with you? She normally reserved that type of “hey” for the girls that talk about how amazing they are.

Sinking down into the spare chair that has been yours for years at the table you tried to force a smile. “So, we were all thinking…” Instantly you hated where this was going. “That it would be really fun to all go to the dance tonight as a final farewell to Cleo!” The girls shrieked as Hannah finished her sentence. A dance was the last place you wanted to be. Today of all days.

The girls all looked at you for your response. “A dance?” The girls all squealed again in unison, practically bouncing in their seats.

“Don’t you think it would be fun.” Hannah stated rather than asked.

“Dances aren’t really my thing.” You said hesitantly. The last thing you wanted to do was to annoy any of the friends that you had left. Especially considering how they were going to be the ones you would now have to rely on once Cleo had left.

“Nothing is really your thing!” Elizabeth snickered. Cleo’s death stare shot over to Liz and her head instantly fell. So that’s why Cleo was so weird when you came over. It was because she knew that you were not exactly going to be over the moon with the new plan for Cleo’s last day celebration. Before lunch, the plan was to go bowling and then get pizza. A less daunting but still hard to stomach plan. This new plan involved dressing up and trying to socialise with people who were not exactly the nicest to you.

“Y/N, it is completely up to you. We can go to the dance and party it up like it is the last day we are going to be alive. Or we can just go and get pizza and knock over a couple of pins with an over weighted bowling ball.” When Cleo said it like that, neither sounded appealing. But it was obvious the way that she laid it out that the dance was the one event she was going to be happy attending tonight.

“Can I think about it?” The girls all sighed and Callum shook you by the shoulders. Literally shook you as if physically moving your body was somehow going to make you change your mind. “Ow!”

“Callum! Do not do that!” Cleo yelled at her boyfriend. At least she was still defending you even if she was trying to push you to do something that made you uncomfortable. It was almost as if she defended you to make you reconsider. “Just one little dance? We can go whenever you want and stay however long you want.” Her puppy dog eyes were out and her hands were clasped in front of her.

Along with your crippling fear of being around other people, your anxiety also made you hate disappointing those that you care about. “Fine.” Was all you managed to say before all the girls and Callum began to cheer. At least he did not try to shake you again otherwise you thought you may physically puke from excessive unwanted physical contact.

While all the others were discussing what they were going to wear, you reached for your phone and began to contact the only person on the planet who didn’t make you feel like you were wrong for feeling this type of way.

Hidingintheshadows – ‘Have you ever been forced to do something you don’t really want do because your friends want you to?’

You debated for a couple of seconds before adding your own “X” onto the end of your text.

Your phone vibrated in your hand. Thank God you had turned the volume off when you got to school. Cleo would not have left you alone for one second if she knew you were texting a guy.

Lonerboy101 – ‘Who is making you do something? What something? Is it illegal? X’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘1. Nothing illegal. 2. Friends and 3. Go to a stupid high school dance where I will be uncomfortable for the entire evening. X’

Lonerboy101 – ‘That wasn’t the order that I put my questions in. X’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘I thought I would start with the one that could get me in a jail cell! X’

Lonerboy101 – ‘I’ve got this feeling that you’d rock an orange jumpsuit so you would be fine. Although the lack of our communication would be quite unsettling. X’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘I think I will cope. X’

Lonerboy101 – ‘I was talking about me! I look forward to my Chime every day. X’

You could not help but blush when you read that last part of his message. You could not bring yourself to message him back stating that it was also your highlight of the day too. Lonerboy101 has become a big part of your life and that was quite hard to admit considering you did not know his name or what he even looked like. You barely even knew the boy and yet it felt as though you knew everything there was to know about him.

Lonerboy101 – ‘Sorry was that weird? Let us get back to the problem at hand… A party was not it? X’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘No and my friend is leaving and I do not want to be mean and not turn up to her “leaving do” but I do not think I will be able to cope with that many people. Especially because they all think that I am a freak. X’

Lonerboy101 – ‘When is the party? You are not a freak by the way. Might I just add that is the longest text you have ever sent. X’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘Tonight, at school. I do not want to go and be the joke of the party. X’

Lonerboy101 – ‘This is a tough one. I can be there if you want. For moral support. X’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘You can’t obviously turn up to a school that you don’t go to just to attend a stupid dance. X’

Lonerboy101 – ‘I’ll be a virtual guest. You can text me whenever you think that it is getting too much and I will use my powers of persuasion to lift those spirits and put a smile on your beautiful face. X’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘How can you say I am beautiful. You have never even seen me? X’

Lonerboy101 – ‘I see the beauty in everything. But you, you are something much more. X’

***

“You cannot wear that!” Cleo snapped when she saw the outdated and over worn outfit that you were wearing on your body. “No this will not do.” Lucky enough for her, your mother and Cleo are quite close. Closer than you are to your own mother. “Leanne! Come and tell your daughter that this is terrible and that she cannot wear this to a school dance.”

Within seconds your mother was in your room judging the clothes that she paid for that you were wearing. “No baby girl, this is your first dance. There is no way in hell I am going to let you leave this apartment building wearing that.”

Your mother’s hand was now grasped around your wrist and you were being dragged into your mother’s bedroom. “Now try this on.” In her hand she was holding a long black dress with a sequin detail at the top of the bust. She could tell that you were resistant so she pulled you in front of the wall length mirror and placed the garment up to your neck.

You could not deny that it was a very pretty dress. One that you would love to wear in a different circumstance. The whole idea of you attending a dance had still not sunk in yet. “Mum I couldn’t pull this off!” You exclaimed. Jeans and a tea shirt were more your speed.

“No Sunshine, you are most definitely wearing this now that I have seen it.” Cleo was practically foaming at the mouth the minute she saw this dress. You were sure that if your mother had not offered it to you first that she would have snagged the dress up for herself. “Right now, hair and makeup.” She slapped her hands together and both your mother and best friend stared at you with excitement in their eyes. Which only put the fear of God into yours.

***

The dance was as horrible as you thought it was going to be. There was loads of people staring at you. One of the girls from your English class even asked a friend of hers if you were a new student at the school. Shows how invisible you were before your boobs were pushed up to your neck and eyeliner was thickly applied to your eyes.

Although this was a new experience for you, to have all eyes on you for a different reason that being the weird girl from school. It was not an experience that you enjoyed at all. High school was nothing but a gossip forum where girls pick on other girls for being themselves or for being slightly different than them. For caring less about how much their bag cost and caring more about why their grade in English was lower than French.

Your friends were all on the dance floor which sadly left you on your lonesome at the back of the decked-out gym.

*Chime*

Lonerboy101 – ‘Please tell me you are having fun now? X’

You smiled. Seeing his name pop up on your screen was possibly the only thing that made you smile tonight.

Hidingintheshadows – ‘Nope. Everyone is staring at me. X’

Lonerboy101 – ‘They are only staring because they are jealous. X’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘What could they possibly be jealous of? X’

Lonerboy101 – ‘Well I bet you look absolutely beautiful tonight. X’

Hidingintheshadows – ‘You couldn’t possibly know that? X’

There had been a couple of minutes since Lonerboy101 had messaged back and that smile you had previously been wearing was starting to fade. You glanced down to look at the time on your phone, 22:14. You let out a relieved sigh, at least you stuck around for over 2 hours.

Grabbing your bag, you began to sculk about the dance floor to try and find Cleo and the other girls to deliver the “bad news.” Cleo was locked onto Callum as they shared a slow dance to one of the most upbeat songs you have ever heard. This immediately made finding Cleo a hell of a lot easier.

“I am going to head off now.” You detached Cleo from her boyfriend which left him both grumpy and a little annoyed at you. Cleo gave you a less than enthusiastic hug before quickly turning back to Callum. “Bye then.” You said when she did not say anything back to you.

It was cold outside which instantly made you regret the dress and the heels made the idea of walking all the way home even more thrilling than you could imagine. Glancing down to check the time once again, you noticed a message featuring on your lock screen. You must have not heard it with all the music when you were saying goodbye to Cleo and the girls.

Lonerboy101 – ‘Wanna bet? X’

Everyone outside the gym began to suddenly gasp. All of them were looking in a similar direction. For once all the eyes were off you and that made you feel a hell of a lot better than you had all night.

Hidingintheshadows – ‘I will take that bet. You cannot comment on something you cannot see. X’

“Then maybe you should step out of the shadows and see what I can see right now.” This voice was strangely familiar but not familiar in a way that you had heard Mr King’s voice almost every day. It was familiar because you had heard it from somewhere, but you were unsure of where. “Because what I see is 100% beautiful just like I had predicted.”

The crowd of people started to open as the voice got nearer and nearer. There were girls practically peeing their pants with excitement. Cleo had appeared with the girls and practically everyone from whom were inside the gym. Suddenly, this voice had become the talk of the whole dance and now all the attention was right back on you again.

There was now a stunning familiar face to match the familiar voice standing right in front of you. One that you would never have believed to have been stood there. It was his smile that you caught first when he looked at you in that long black dress. His eyes lingered on you for a while before you both realised that it had been quite some time that slipped away since either one of you had spoken.

“Lonerboy101?” You asked quietly. Not really wanting anyone to hear how speechless you really were.

“Guilty.” There in front of you stood the one and only Tom Holland. The freaking man who brought you Spiderman, Ian Lightfoot, and Lucas in the movie The Impossible. He was Lonerboy101, how was that even possible?

It suddenly dawned on you that everyone and that honestly was everyone was now staring at the pair of you who were staring at one another. “Maybe we should go over there?” Tom had suggested to get away from prying eyes.

Once you were both certain that there were not any lingering eyes, your protection walls started to drop ever so slightly. “You’re the person I have been talking to for 3 weeks? You’re Lonerboy101?”

“Yes. I am Lonerboy101, but if I am being quite honest, Tom will do fine.” He joked which did make you feel only a small degree better. For all this time you had been talking to Tom Holland and you had no inclination that it was happening. “I wanted to tell you who I was, but it was so amazing to have someone to talk to who didn’t see me as this guy who acts for a living and attends red carpet events, you know?”

You did not know of course. “I am not mad. But why would you tell me you have anxiety issues when you do not?” You sighed and started to look at the shine from the diamonds reflecting from your heels. “Was it a way to make fun of me?”

Quickly Tom grasped your hands without thinking. “No!” He spoke urgently but delicately as if he did not want to put his foot in his mouth and make the situation worse. Truth be told Tom was expecting this whole revelation to go a little differently. The sombre look on your face was not the result that he had wanted from showing up at your school. “I never did it to make fun of you or anyone who suffers with anxiety. Truth be told I do suffer with it. Not as bad as most people, but I have days where I wonder if my friends are my true friends because they like me or because they like what I can give them.”

“I want you to know that every message that I ever sent you, I was being the real me. None of it was an act or fake for me.” Tom’s head was not facing down, almost defeated. “From talking to you I knew that you were the most honest and kindest person that I could possibly ever get to know.”

“Can I ask you something?” Your voice was soft and shaky as if you were afraid of the response that you were going to receive.

“Anything.” He was almost pleading. His voice as shaky as your own.

“How did you know who I was and what I looked like?” Tom looked you dead in the eyes. You could see the sincerity in his eyes and how much he wanted this to go right. “You knew to come right up to me, out of all the girls in the world. You knew to come to my school and then up to me, how?”

Tom let out a little smile. “Well, you know that section on the app right at the beginning?” You nod keeping eye contact as he continued to speak. “Well when it asks you for a name, you can keep it blank and then put in a username instead. You actually put in all of your details and made them public.”

“Oh!” You stated feeling stupid for doing so. This entire time he knew exactly who you were while you had no clue that you were talking to a celebrity.

“No, it was a good thing.”

“How?” You question. Doubting that knowing who you were was ever a “good thing.”

“Because, I felt really lucky to be talking to you. I saw how beautiful you were and how smart you are as well as how kind you can be.” You were quiet. You were not used to guys calling you beautiful, and here he was saying it for what must have been the 3rd time since you met him. “If it makes you feel any better, I only looked you up yesterday. I was worried when you did not answer my message and temptation got the best of me and I peaked. Are you mad?”

“No. I am not mad.”

“Would it help if I said sorry?”

“What did you say about saying sorry?” You smiled which made the flash of panic rush from his face. The corners of his mouth started to turn up and his eyes sparkled.

“Yeah but on me it looks cute.” Both of you allow yourselves to laugh at the situation. Remembering some of your earlier messages. “Would it be too much to ask for a hug?” He looked down at your hands which were no longer scrunched into fists which proved that you were no longer as uncomfortable as you may have been from the first encounter.

You allow yourself to smile as he pulls you into his arms. “It is exactly how I imagined it.” Tom said into your hair as he held you close to him.

“What is?” You questioned

“That I would be only just taller than you when you’re wearing heels.” Both of you let out a controlled laugh at his terrible attempt at a joke. “You don’t actually want to go back in there do you?” Tom gestured towards the gym that probably did not hold any students inside due to his arrival.

“I am not going back inside there! But thanks for wearing a suit for me.” You pull away slightly to admire the suit that Tom was pulling off handsomely.

“Anything for my girl.”

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betweenpaperpages · 4 years

Text

Hear Me Still: Chapter Eight

Summery: A new store-front is set to open on main street in Storybrooke and with it brings new resident Mr. Gold to the center of attention. While he looks forward to this new step in business, it is yet unknown if his deafness will set him back once again.

Beta: @ishtarelisheba

Read on AO3!

[Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Chapter Three] [Chapter Four] [Chapter Five][Chapter Six] [Chapter Seven]

Chapter Eight: Safe With Me

_______________________________________________________

“Belle.”

Belle turned the page of her book carefully, her eyes following the flow of words as the narrator continued to speak between the lines of the story. Her free hand wrapped around the ceramic mug of coffee next to her, the heat seeping into her skin as it seemed forgotten.

“Belle.”

Her eyes continued to track the words, bouncing up to the previous paragraph to reread the twist that threw the protagonist into a new dilemma.

“Earth to Belle!”

Blue eyes shot up to where Ruby stood in front of her, one hand on her hip and the other grasping the handle of the coffee pot, a single eyebrow raised in question.

“Were you in a trance or something? I was trying to get your attention for nearly five minutes,” Ruby complained, shaking her head indulgently.

“Sorry, Ruby, sometimes I get so focused I forget the world outside my book.” She laughed.

“Reading something good then?” Ruby asked, leaning forward over the table to take a look, only for Belle to flip it shut and hold it up, putting up the cover of Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice for display.

“Oh.” She deflated, looking disappointed. “I thought maybe you were reading something… spicy.” Ruby offered Belle an over exaggerated wink to push her point across.

“Only you would think to read that material in public,” Belle commented, shaking her head affectionately.

Ruby gave a shrug, shifting her weight to the opposite hip. “Small towns, limited options, what can I say? Everyone has needs, even bookworms like yourself.”

Granny stepped out from the kitchen to find her granddaughter, a well-worn apron wrapped around her dress with matching oven gloves on her hands. “Ruby Anita Lucas - I need you behind the counter, I have to get these pies out of the oven.”

“I’m just refilling Belle’s coffee, Granny.”

“Her cup isn’t as deep as the ocean! I need you back here. I don’t have eyes in the back of my head and I can’t have these pies burning,” she reprimanded her granddaughter. Ruby huffed, her shoulders drooping. “I’ll be right there!”

Granny offered Belle a warm smile and a wink before disappearing back into the kitchen, presumably to save her bakes from the oven.

“How about drinks tonight? Rabbit Hole at eight? First round is on me,” Ruby offered, finally refilling Belle’s coffee mug. “Count me in.”

xxxxx

The Rabbit Hole was not the classiest place in comparison, but for a small town dive bar, it did its job well enough. If you looked past the occasional drunk patron and the ill-placed dart board, one could even say it was alright.

The smell of spilled beer and rush of heat from the summer weather greeted her as Belle entered the bar. She received a nod of greeting from the bartender where he stood cleaning the counter next to where Leroy was having a drink. She returned it with a quick smile before heading back to the usual table they occupied, finding Ruby already there with a drink in hand.

“Getting started without me, Rubes?” she asked, hanging her purse on the knob of the chair as she took her seat.

Ruby laughed, raising her drink to be on display. “Hardly! This is my first one. I invited Anna out, but she’s in the bathroom.”

“Great! I haven’t had the chance to see her lately with the summer programs running at the library.”

“You need to take more time for yourself,” Ruby pointed out. Belle couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the comment. “I take plenty.” “A soak in the bath with a glass of wine and a dirty romance novel don’t count as personal time,” Ruby pointed out, pushing a gin and tonic across the table to her. “Maybe if we get you hooked up with someone you’ll dedicate yourself less to work.”

She shook her head, her curls rustling behind her shoulders. “I love my job. Besides, we all know how bad my dating history is. Do we really need to add to it?” “What are we adding to?” Anna asked as she walked up and took her seat, setting her drink down.

“Belle’s dating history,” Ruby answered.

Anna squealed excitedly, “Oh! We can do that! Should be easy enough.”

“I don’t want to add to it, Anna,” Belle pointed out. “I want to end it. I’m tired of one bad date after another. I want something to last long term.”

“Like true love!” She sighed dreamily, clasping her hands together.

“Hold onto your glitter, Sparkle Pants.” Ruby laughed, patting Anna’s shoulder. “Not everyone can land it like you did on your second swing.”

Belle laughed lightly, stirring her drink with the straw. “Didn’t Kristoff actually ‘sweep you off your feet’ because you nearly fell into the college fountain?” “It still counts,” Anna protested, crossing her arms under her chest and pouting.

“And he loves you very much,” Belle commented, smoothing over any of her ruffled feathers from their teasing. “How is your sister’s, by the way?” Anna relaxed quickly at the change of topic, instantly forgiving her friend’s light-hearted jabs. “Her love life? On hold for now. Elsa wants to finish her PhD before she even considers the notion.”

“I understand that.” Belle nodded in agreement. “Hard enough just to balance everyday life with studying, let alone romance on top of it.”

“Well, since you're done on that front, it just means we can focus on the second part now!” Ruby announced, once again redirecting this on her target.

Belle rolled her eyes, busying herself with taking a long and deep sip of her drink as she watched the two of them. Might as well let them have their fun for now, she thought.

Belle set her drink aside, standing with a stretch of her shoulders as she decided to rack up one of the pool tables for a game. Anna and Ruby seemed to need a minute to put their heads together in private to discuss their strategy and gather a list of options for Belle’s love affairs.

Just as she finished racking the table and applied chalk to her pool cue, the two of them had completed their notes, popping up to present their case.

“Okay, we got this! We have a compilation of who could be your true love,” Anna announced, holding up a napkin with various notes scribbled across it.

“Or at least your next one nighter,” Ruby interjected.

“Ruby!” Belle called out, her cheeks pinking in embarrassment.

The taller brunette simply shrugged. “Like I said, everyone has needs.”

Anna cleared her throat to get their attention, holding up the bar napkin to display it to Belle, watching her as she leaned against the pool table.

“Number one on the list, Dr. Archie Hopper. He’s mild mannered, very sweet, loves dogs and has a successful career.” Anna offered up their first choice, listing their reasoning.

“Number two,” Ruby pitched in. “Will Scarlet. He’s hot, not to mention hot, oh and he’s also hot if you didn’t know… Oh, and he has an English accent,” she pointed out, waggling her eyebrows.

“And number three,” Anna continued, “August Booth. Everyone finds him handsome, he is a writer, and he has always been chivalrous.”

Belle humored her friends as she heard them out, spinning the pool cue between her hands as they finished. “Those are my options you two have found?

“Well, the top three at least... Jefferson came in fourth place, but he can be pretty eccentric,” Ruby noted.

Anna giggled in excitement. “So, what do you think?”

“I think Dr. Hopper is very nice, but I can’t say he’s my type. Will is still in love with his ex and everyone knows he’s completely heartbroken,” Belle answered, taking a moment to think. “As far as August is concerned, I don’t know him well enough, but he seems to be taken by his typewriter.”

“What about Jefferson?” Anna offered up, reaching for success.

“That would just be awkward. I’m friends with both Jefferson and his daughter, that would change our dynamic a lot.”

Ruby smiled behind her glass as she took a drink. “I wouldn’t throw that out the window. Have you seen a shirtless Jefferson? It could be a good change in dynamic.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Belle shook her head, reaching back to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I don't even want to know where you saw that.”

“Fair enough.” Ruby laughed, grabbing a spare pool cue from the rack to line up the first shot.

“Ooh, the loser buys the next round!” Anna announced, following over to watch the match.

xxxxx

A fair few drinks and a couple games of pool later, the girls were certainly enjoying their night.

On the other side of the bar, other town residents were trying their best to enjoy their night, as well.

Marcus had closed the shop for the night and taken care of errands while Jefferson had a father daughter night at home. Rather than interrupt their time, he had decided to have a drink at the bar to relax, thinking that the night cap might provide a calmer night than he had previous.

Drinking was something he was always careful about. In his previous line of work, he had seen people turn to it as a crutch far too easily. It was a dark path to watch someone spiral out of control with it and he didn’t fancy finding himself in the same position.

It was the first time he had come to the Rabbit Hole and he was thankful that the bartender had little interest in holding a conversation with the lone drinker. Rather, he seemed to keep himself busy with filling drink orders and cleaning his work space.

No one enjoyed a nosy bartender.

Rather, Marcus’ attention was focused on the same pair the bartender seemed to have a casual interest in. They had been at the opposite end of the counter before he came in and despite the music, the pool games, and the general chatter in the space - even with his hearing aid volume turned down - he was sure he could hear the two men from a mile away.

Keith Nottingham slammed his glass back down against the bar top, tossing back the end of his rum and coke.

“You’re better off without that cheating bitch, at least now you’re free to get some real ass,” he pointed out, rubbing the stubble of his beard. He turned and tapped his glass twice on the bar for another round.

Arthur grumbled under his breath as he complained about his ex-wife. She had barely sent him the divorce papers before she was already in another man’s bed.

He folded his arms and shook his head. “In this town? Knowing you, I’d be getting your sloppy seconds.”

“Fine, then. You can sit here and sulk, and in the meantime, I’m going to find some better company for the night.”

Keith grabbed up his fresh drink with a grin, watching as Belle leaned over the pool table to line up another shot in the game. He already knew whose company he wanted for the night.

He got up, leaving Arthur to deal with his own problems. As he walked up behind the petite brunette, it seemed that her two friends had excused themselves to make a phone call outside.

Keith knew an opening when he had one. He leaned over her back while she was focused on lining up another shot in her pool game.

“You’ll never make the pocket at this angle, babe. Let me show you a better one…” he whispered, running his fingers down her spine towards her backside.

Belle gasped, jumping at the unexpected touch, the butt of her pool cue to smacking into Keith’s gut as she spun around. The unexpected jab to his gut forced him to let go of his grip on his glass as he clutched at his stomach, the drink flying forward as the liquid contents spilled down the front of Belle’s dress before the glass hit and shattered on the bar floor.

“Keith, what the hell!” Belle exclaimed, taking in her soaked state.

“Whoops, sorry babe,” he answered, brushing the incident off as he took in the view of Belle’s dress.

The top of her dress clung to her like a second skin, the light color fabric losing its opacity as it exposed the lines of the bra beneath.

Keith grinned, his eyes traveling in a particular direction as he spoke again. “Why don’t you come back to my place and we can get you out of that wet dress?”

From the counter, Arthur let out a wolf whistle at the sight. Sure he had his own problems to deal with, but he certainly wasn’t going to miss out on a free show when it was put on display so well.

Belle had opened her mouth to tell him off as the weight of a thick knit cardigan landed around her shoulders, large enough that it fell around her front to cover her wet bodice.

“I don’t think that will be necessary.” An accented voice cut in as Marcus stepped in between them, forcing Keith to take a step back. “I’m quite sure she can take care of herself,” he commented. “Whether you are capable of taking care of yourself is another matter.”

Before Keith had a chance to sputter anything back, Marcus had set his hand on Belle’s shoulder lightly as he led her away back to her table, leaving Keith to deal with the broken glass and the irritated bartender.

“Are you alright, Miss French?”

“Yes… Yes I am. Thank you,” she answered, gripping onto the sides of his cardigan as she held it around herself.

“Think nothing of it,” Marcus answered. “If you like —”

“Oh my god, Belle! What happened!” Ruby called out as she jogged back to their table. “Are you alright?”

“You’re soaked through and there isn’t even a fountain in here!” Anna added, grabbing up their note napkins from earlier as she started to pat her friend dry.

Marcus smiled to himself as he slipped his hands into his pockets, taking the chance to excuse himself from the bar. He was right - Belle could take care of herself, and she certainly had enough additional help.

Belle nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. I just got soaked from Keith’s drink when he—”

“When he what? I can’t believe the nerve of him. I’ll… Wait, whose sweater is that?” Ruby questioned.

#Hear Me Still #Rumbelle #Betweenpaperpages #Belle French #Ruby Lucas #Granny Lucas #Mr. Gold #Anna #ASL #American Sign Language #AO3 #OUAT #ONCE #Deaf #Deafness #Storybrooke Maine #Jefferson Madden #Grace Madden #Once Upon A Time

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belphegor1982 · 4 years

Note

How about the first chapter Tommy appears?

[Pick any passage from any fanfic I’ve written, and stick that selection in my ask/fan mail/submission box. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet!]

Thanks a lot!! (Also I answered this kind of ask about a passage from chapter 2, if you want to take a look - it’s all spoiler-free!)

Here’s Thomas Sean Ferguson’s grand introduction, then :D Oh god, it’s kind of awkward, because like with Blake there’s a certain amount of early installment weirdness. Also I go on and oooooooon (sorry about that). But let’s go!

_________

Quite lost in his thoughts this time, [Jonathan] barely registered that he was walking past the Museum (where Evy is, right now, negotiating the Cairo Museum “lending” the Diamond of Ahm Shere to the British government - which kickstarts the plot) before somebody knocked into him, hard enough for both of them to crumple, breathless, on the ground. It took Jonathan thirty seconds to get his lungs in working order again and, instinctively, check his pockets for anything missing.

A lot of this commentary risks being “this used to be [thing] before I tweaked it in the rewrites”, and a lot of it is because I’ve gained some insight in the past twelve years. Jonathan’s first thought being checking his pockets (which - and I made it explicit in the second or third paragraph of the story :D - comes from his being a skilled pickpocket himself and knowing how it works), however, was there from the very beginning.

“So sorry I bumped into you, mate, didn’t mean to,” came the voice of the attacker. Jonathan’s eyes widened at the sound of this voice and he squinted up at its owner.

And cue Tom Ferguson :D He wasn’t my first OC, far from it (that dubious honour would probably belong to the buttload of OCs I created for my Marauder era story which died when Order of the Phoenix came out), but he was the first I got to really explore and develop, and he ended up one of my favourites ever. Em, I answered an ask of yours way back in 2015, “introduce us to two of your OCs” :o) The first was him, the second was Marguerite LeBeau.

“Tommy? Is that you? Tommy Ferguson?”

The diamond is the reason the O’Connell-Carnahan gang goes to Egypt, but without Tommy, there’d be no plot. Hamilton would probably still find a way to “retrieve” the diamond from the museum, only without Evy and her family getting personally involved and then having to go back to the UK saying she failed her mission. and then cue the end of the world about a week and a half from there, but shhh - spoilers!

The fellow shook his head, still looking a bit dazed; then his own eyes, round and brown, (so he’s the opposite of Jon in almost every way, physically speaking. Like I said in the aforementioned OC ask, I designed him as a foil for Jon, fundamentally different in some ways but very similar in others. Physically speaking he’s basically Sean Astin (with some James Corden thrown in) with brown eyes, blond hair, and a Liverpool accent.) went even rounder as he stared at Jonathan. “Jon! What the hell are you doing ‘ere?”

For the longest time Tommy used to call Jonathan by his last name here (and Jon’s earlier line used to be “Ferguson? Is that you? Tommy Ferguson?”). I changed it quite recently. I think I wanted to convey the idea that school friends at the time often called each other by their last names; but since he calls Jonathan “Jon” 100% of the time - and is the only one to do so, which I have Feelings about - I went back to correct it.

“Glad to see you too, old chap,” laughed Jonathan, standing up and dusting himself off before offering a hand at the man on the ground, who accepted it gladly.

Heh. Look, one of the staples of Mummy fanfiction was and still is the old school friend of Evy’s who follows either the siblings (TM time) or the whole family (TMR/post-TMR time) to Egypt and falls in love with Ardeth Bay. I’m not throwing stones here; I’ve read a couple I really liked. There’s the odd Jonathan/OFC romance, too. What I set out to do as a baby writer (I was 21 at the time!) and unsuspecting ace was to write something completely devoid of romance (except the odd Evy/Rick snuggle and, of course, all-encompassing love for each other). And then, as I reread the story for rewrites a decade and a half later, I became more and more convinced that Jonathan and Tommy used to be more than friends, and then when Elizabeth came along the three of them got together as a thruple and very happy for a while. (For some reason I couldn’t work this explicitly into FTaH, though - it felt too much like hinting at this huge story I was never going to write and might have made FTaH much too crowded. So it’s up to the reader to decide, really. Personally, I like both options.) So here’s 37 year old me shipping Jon with a female OC and a male OC, and quite enthusiastically, at that. *chuckles* Wonder what my 21 y-o self would think of it…

He hadn’t seen Thomas Ferguson since some time after the end of the war, what felt like ages ago. They’d made quite a pair at Oxford, the two of them – the scrawny, foppish Southerner with the quiet grin and the sticky fingers, and the broad-shouldered, round-faced Scouser with the laughing eyes and the deceptively innocent face. They’d rowed for the Dark Blues for a bit, got properly pickled on Boat Race Nights, and helped each other out of many a tight spot. Oh, for the halcyon days of youth.

One of the reasons I picked up FTaH again is because the second half of 2019 was very, very British for me. I saw (and read) Good Omens for the first time in early June and my feelings exploded; July was very much about discovering the delights of P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Wooster (TV show and books). Halfway through that month I remembered my everlasting fondness for the characters of The Mummy and realised the protagonists and Bertie were the same generation, more or less, and I started imagining a crossover. By the time August rolled in I was fully into TM/TMR again, reading fic and my fingers itching to at least correct some iffy parts of FTaH. This last sentence, about Jon’s and Tom’s Oxford days, would never have come out that way if I hadn’t read Wodehouse.

As soon as Tommy was on his feet he was wringing Jonathan’s hand with all the energy he’d been famous for as a boy. “Sorry, Jon, mate, I was a bit stunned –” After all these years, he still retained some of that accent, too! “– En’t everyday you bump into a pal from Oxford in the middle of Cairo! How’d you get here, for starters?”

…Tommy’s accent. *sighs* I’m not a fan of writing accents phonetically in the first place. When I write Newkirk (Hogan’s Heroes) and his Cockney accent, there isn’t much except the odd “me” for “my” or things like “d’you”. I did have to make it obvious Tommy had an accent, though, if only because later Jonathan is surprised when he tones it down to speak with the curator. (This is something his 18 year old self found incredibly difficult, btw.) @thisstableground oversaw the first chapter and gave me very valuable tips, including “en’t” (// “ain’t), which was super helpful in giving Tommy’s accent its own specificity and meant that I didn’t need him to drop “h”s and “g”s all over the place. (which he does do, but hopefully not in a way that takes you away from the story.)

As for why he’s from Liverpool as opposed to, say, Manchester or the East End of London, the answer is very simple. I’d discovered the Beatles a year or two prior and they remain one of my favourite bands in the whole world ♥

“Well, I followed my sister,” Jonathan replied, grinning. In fifteen years or so, he had not realised how much he had actually missed this accent. “She’s giving a hand to the curator of the Museum of Antiquities – she’s something of an authority now, as a matter of fact.”

“Oh aye? That’s fantastic. I en’t forgotten how you’d talk about her, y’know. On and on and on. I’m curious to see what she looks like.”

Somethingthat didn’t change after rewrites is the idea that Jon was verysecretive about his Oxford years. Tom and Evy never met before this,and Evy hadn’t even heard about Tom before.

Jonathan stole a glance at the entrance steps of the Museum, and turned to Tommy with a smirk. “Really? Well, if you really want to, I suppose I could…”

His sister had just appeared on the stairs, accompanied by the curator, an elderly man with greying hair and whiskers. The curator, Dr Fahad Hakim, has a somewhat larger role later on, but this is just a cameo to let you know he exists :o) There’s another mention earlier, too. Tommy followed Jonathan’s gaze and looked at them, goggling at Evy in particular.

“Jon – are my eyes mistaken, or is this gorgeous woman Doctor Evelyn O’Connell? I’ve read about her, she’s famous in my line of work… According to what I’ve read, she was one of the first people to make it out of the City of the Dead alive –”

He doesn’t say what his “line of work” is, but we (and Jonathan) can infer it has something to do with archaeology or Egyptology. And, incidentally, I’m setting up the first alarm bells here because, as Evy points out in the following chapter, at the time her name was “Carnahan”, so how come Tommy didn’t seem to make the connection between Jon’s bookish sister and this English librarian with the same name? The answer is: because he’s nervous (because he’s in Cairo on secret Chamber of Horus business) and as delighted as he is to see Jon again after so many years his brain went “YOU KNOW NOTHING” then backpedalled and went “…OKAY, YOU KNOW SOME THINGS.”

Jonathan’s grin widened as he nodded. “Yes, that’d be her.”

Tommy rambled on as they walked closer to the stairs, “That’s bloody amazing! I thought she’d look, you know, like in the pictures in the paper, the bookish type with glasses – your typical Southern spinster,” he added with a wink. They waited for the curator to bid her goodbye, and Jonathan, greatly enjoying the situation, crept up on his sister to kiss her on the cheek.

“Hey there, old mum – how’s your day been?”

Evy started, then her expression shifted from slightly irked to a smile at her brother’s laugh. She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Jonathan, the things that amuse you…”

SIBS!!! I love writing siblings, and those two in particular. One of the things that I find amusing/endearing is how comfortable they are with each other, physically (and emotionally) speaking. It’s all gentle touch here, light slap there, running hand in hand, lots of things you wouldn’t expect from two Very English siblings from the first half of the 20th century.

“You’re just miffed that I startled you. C’mon, I’d like you to meet someone – an admirer,” he added with a grin to Tommy, who stood there, his eyes wide. “Thomas Ferguson, an old school friend of mine. Tommy – Evelyn Carnahan O’Connell, my famous baby sister.”

There’s a couple of instances where someone introduces Tom as “Thomas”, or Tom introducing himself as such. Most of the time, though, he’s “Tommy” - until chapter 9, where we spend some time in his head for the first time and see he thinks of himself as “Tom”, and when we go back to Jon’s PoV in chapter 11 Jonathan made the mental switch to “Tom”, as well, to separate the boy from his youth from the man he’s become. I actually spell it out in chapter 17: “A lot had happened since that late afternoon in Giza when his friend had pointed a gun at him and stopped being ‘Tommy’. ‘Tommy’ was a warm memory of loud laughter, daring escapes, bright eyes over pints clinking in the comfortable darkness of a well-loved pub. Tom, on the other hand, was a fairly decent man chucked into a complex situation, who had a wife he loved dearly but lied to about his job, who had not wanted to bring harm to an old friend but had done so anyway.”

Evy held out her hand, which Tommy grabbed and shook heartily. “So you’re the old scoundrel’s sister? No wonder he talked about you – though you don’t quite fit the description now…”

“What exactly did you tell your ‘school friends’ about me?” asked Evy, warning in her voice, though the twinkle in her eye did not quite disappear. Nevertheless, Jonathan preferred to ignore her question, earning a hard nudge in the ribs.

He bragged, actually. A lot. Since he thought Tommy and Lizzie would never meet Evy, Jonathan considered himself free to speak quite enthusiastically of his baby sister’s achievements and how bright she was. Of course, he also complained a good deal, because even at 12 Evy had a penchant for being bossy that came out even in letters.

“So, what did you say your ‘line of work’ was?” he asked Tommy.

“Well – don’t laugh. I work at the British Consulate in Cairo, specialising in antique stuff. Oh, I’m sorry, Dr O’Connell,” he stammered with a glance at Evy who had an eyebrow raised, “I mean I’m one of the chief agents in the British Antique Research Department.”

No he’s not! He’s actually a secret agent, kinda :D And not remotely close to a “chief agent”, at that. Tom Ferguson is deeply in love with his wife and nothing will ever change that state of affairs, but he might have a little intellectual crush on Evy, which leads him to… wanting to impress her a little bit.

“I’ve heard of you!” exclaimed Evy. “At least of that Research Department. They’re gradually cutting off public funds – encouraging individual financing – but that won’t do any good for scientific research! Such a stupid decision is only going to –”

“So you lot are the ones she kept fuming about for half a year!” Jonathan snorted. The infamous Ferguson rotten luck struck again.

I still regret I didn’t find more opportunities to showcase how ridiculously unlucky Tommy could get sometimes. Ah well.

Tommy looked dejected. Evy must have seen this, because she bit her lip and said, in softer tones, “Look, I’m sorry I snapped at you. But as my brother said, I’ve been… rather upset over this. There’s been some pressure on the British Museum lately by private patrons who threatened to pull out their funding on some… sensitive collections. Without the Crown to back us up, we might have to cave in to their ridiculous demands.”

Before the rewrites, Evy’s speech used to be a lot more “private funding is bad” without much nuance or justification. I changed it to something that hopefully makes sense and justifies her previous outburst.

“I’ll – I’ll tell my superiors about it,” said Tommy, still looking unsure. “See what I can do. I’m sure it won’t be much, but… Well. I’ll have tried.”

“That’s nice,” Evy said cheerfully, taking Jonathan’s arm and starting to walk. See what I mean about physicality? She doesn’t even ask him with a look, just takes his arm and that’s that. And he lets her, because he’d do the same thing. “Look, the two of you – I’ve had something of a rough day, so I’ll go home, if you don’t mind. You can –”

“Brilliant idea!” said Jonathan, flashing a grin at his sister. “I thought of going to the Sultan’s Casbah, but you might find it a tad – let’s say – dingy, my good friend.”

The Sultan’s Casbah, in the novelisation of the film and my personal headcanon, was the bar Jonathan patronised the night before the first time we see Evy and where he stole a valuable-looking puzzle box from an unsuspecting drunk American.

“Worse than the Turf?” Seeing Evy’s puzzled look, Tommy explained, “Sorry, private joke. I mean the Turf Tavern, that’s where I saw him for the first time. Me family didn’t ‘ave much money, so I used to work there to pay for my studies. Very nice pub, didn’t deserve the reputation.”

The Best Beloved and I took a trip to Oxford in the spring of 2003 (by bus - 20 hours to get there, same to come back home) and while we were so broke we had to settle for a soup and some rice in a lovely Thai restaurant we did go for a drink at the Turf. I remember a dimly-lit room with dark wood, and I think either they changed a lot of it or my memory isn’t that good because it doesn’t really look like that on the Google Maps pics. Still, I liked it, and when I needed an Oxford pub for the story it’s the one I worked in. Incidentally, there was a lot of illegal gambling going on in there in the 19th century, hence Tommy’s mention of the pub’s bad reputation.

“I’m sure you did indeed see a lot of my brother there,” Evy slipped in slyly. Jonathan threw a mock glare at her.

“To think you are almost my only family. What a shame.” Then, as Tommy looked uncertain, he added, “Carry on, Tom.”

“All right. So I was one of the only students who needed a job, and there were some others who thought that it was – how’d they put it? – a ‘disgrace’ to our university.”

“Preposterous,” said Evy sternly. “As if money could take you further than talent.”

Jonathan bit back on the cynical comment that crossed his mind. Sometimes Evy’s naïveté baffled him.

“Right,” said Tommy uncertainly, glancing at Jonathan. “So, one day, a little bunch of lads come in, and Jon here was sometimes hanging with ‘em at the time –”

Because Jonathan likes to gamble with people with deep pockets :P

Evy glared at Jonathan in advance, and he threw his hands in the air. “Don’t look at me like that! I haven’t done anything!” Evy’s gaze softened, and Jonathan finished, “…Yet.”

That earned him a playful slap on the arm, and a laugh from Tommy, who went on, “Anyway, one of the blokes orders somethin’ or other, and starts to poke fun at me. Well, I was used to it, so I let them be. Then they continued, and I finally noticed that skinny lad in the corner who was makin’ fun of them for making fun of me. Didn’t quite understand what the hell was going on – oh, sorry, Dr O’Connell – what was happening.”

While John Hannah is not “skinny” by any stretch, he is rather svelte, and one of my unimpeachable headcanons for Jonathan is that he was skinny as a rake in his youth - until he went through basic training (then WW1) and his shoulders filled out a little. It’s more or less what happened to the Best Beloved, so I feel quite secure in this headcanon’s plausibility. Plus, picturing 18 year old Jonathan as a mix of awkward gangliness and skinny limbs and aristocratic poise is just funny. (and I find the comparison with Tommy - who at that point was soft and a little chubby but already had broad shoulders - rather endearing.)

Evy smiled. “You’ll have to watch your mouth in front of my son, but otherwise it’s fine. And please, call me Evelyn.”

Tommy beamed. “Right, uh, Evelyn. So, uh –”

“What he didn’t know at that point,” interrupted Jonathan, “was that I had my eye on that fellow – what’s his name – Farbow. He owed me quite a bit of money, but wouldn’t repay me. So I was looking for a way to get him back for it.”

“And get the rest of his wallet in the process, of course.”

“Evy, he owed me seventeen pounds. (Which used to be £70 until I did some research and saw that £17 was A Bloody Fortune a the time.) And he was not what I’d call a ‘decent bloke’ – nasty, disdainful piece of work he was, and his little friends with him. Always a dirty word about the Scouser who worked at the Turf Tavern, just because he didn’t belong to his snobby little world. I did the community a favour, really.”

What he doesn’t say is that Edwin Farbow also had a lot to say about “half-Egyptian mongrels” who thought they belonged in those ancient walls. Too bad I couldn’t find a way to work it in this particular fic. If I ever manage to finish at least Tommy’s part of One-Step, Two-Step, Waltz, the first chapter of Pirouette features the whole scene.

“Don’t push it, Jonathan,” warned Evy.

Tommy carried on. “Well, I was glad there was at least one person who didn’t think like Edwin Farbow – nice change. Then Farbow said something – I don’t remember what it was about, I just remember it made me really angry, really. An’ it’s not a pretty sight when I’m really angry at someone.”

It’s always the quiet, genial ones, isn’t it.

Jonathan remembered, but thought it wise to keep his mouth shut.

Both because what Farbow said was pretty damn offensive to Tommy’s character, background, and lineage, and also because Farbow’s rant included “It’s bad enough they let inpeople like Carnahan, who only exists because a glorifiedgrave-robber shagged some darkey and didn’t even have the decencyto pretend otherwise –” and he really doesn’t want to bring this up in front of Evy, who’s had to deal with her own share of this kind of racist bullshit and doesn’t need a reminder.

“An’ – an’ I just lost it, y’know? I dropped his tea over his ‘ead –”

“I say, that one was pretty funny,” Jonathan said, smiling widely at the memory. The strangled yelp that had followed had definitely been one of the best parts.

“So they all leaped for me, obviously – began to punch me, the five or six of them – hey, I still managed to get back at them!” Tommy added quickly, as if defending his honour. Evy hid a smile, and it occurred to Jonathan that that last sentence had something very Rick-like about it. “But I en’t a fool. I know a losing fight when I’m in one.”

“Don’t tell me. Jonathan bravely threw himself into the fight to take on as many attackers as possible.” There was mischievous laughter in Evy’s voice, and her eyes were twinkling. If anyone other than her had quipped that way about him, Jonathan would probably have taken offence, or at least pretended to. But they knew each other enough not to cross the line.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “Well, that wasn’t quite Jon’s style – I don’ know, might’ve changed since then. But yeah, he did. One moment I was squashed under five or six, the next I found out we were two on the floor.”

This was perhaps the biggest suspension of disbelief I’m asking the reader to make - which, in a story where governments have secret agencies to keep an eye on magical ancient artefacts and a diamond has magic powers, is saying something. Jonathan throwing himself into a fight because someone he loves (ie. four people in the whole world that we know of) is in danger? Yep, that checks out, that’s what he does both in TM and TMR. But an (almost) complete stranger? I needed one hell of a justification. Which ended up… 60% Farbow’s money and 40% Farbow being a giant arsehole who had no business making decent bartenders look like that.

Evy began to laugh. “Why, Jonathan? My Jonathan, in a fight, for someone he barely knew?”

At that Jonathan cleared his throat, a mite embarrassed. “I told you, I was looking for Farbow’s wallet. That was the perfect diversion – you should’ve seen that twit looking in every corner for his lost wallet afterwards. It was three months before he gave up.” And it’s lucky you didn’t see me then. I was a bloody mess. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing.” Evy smiled. “You never told me that.”

To be fair, there’s a LOT of things he never told you, old girl ;o)

“Should I have?”

“I don’t know, it’s – it was nice of you to do that, even for the wrong reasons. I’m proud of you.”

Jonathan felt an unexpected lump rise in his throat. Not a very big one, but enough to keep him from talking for a few seconds. It was always like this whenever she said something really nice to him. It caught him off guard each and every time.

Look, it took me years to realise it, but I’m a sucker for validation. Sometimes it bleeds out on characters I write.

After a little while, Evy stopped in front of a door and announced, “Well, we’re home.”

“Nice house,” commented Tommy, taking in the sand-coloured neat front and the curtains at the windows.

“Our ‘old haunt’ since the family moved to Egypt,” Jonathan said, opening the door and stepping aside to let his sister in. “Evy wasn’t even walking then.”

In the first film, Evy, Rick, Jonathan and the remainder of the American party go straight to Fort Brydon, and the next thing we see is Evy emptying her suitcase while Rick tries to fill it. Since both Carnahan siblings actually live in Cairo, I thought they would live in an actual house, and from there I extrapolated that the family had one house in England (the manor we see in TMR) and a smaller pied-à-terre in Cairo.

“I do believe I was,” Evy protested.

Jonathan snorted. “Oh, you weren’t. You crawled.”

si b l i n gssss ♥♥ And like, you can always count on a big sib to remind you that you could be ridiculous as a kid. I should know, I’m the big sister :D

Evy seemed to resist the urge to slap her brother and walked into the living room, her nose in the air. She was greeted by two simultaneous voices:

“Mum!”

“Hey, hon.”

Rick’s first words in this story, and it’s greeting his wife ^^ I didn’t do it on purpose, but it’s. Y’know. There.

Jonathan waited a few seconds, then walked into the room in turn, and grinned at the sight of his nephew looking genuinely eager to see him. He was not fooled, however – as soon as Evy wasn’t looking, Alex mouthed the words “Got one?” and frowned as his uncle shook his head. No, he still had no present for Mum’s birthday.

Evy’s birthday mainly originated as a device to get characters (especially Jonathan) moving. It’s the reason he’s roaming the streets of Cairo just before he bumps into Tommy, and why he and Alex go to the bazaar in chapter 5. It also pops up further on in the story, but I’m not saying anything because spoilers.

“Uncle Jon? Who’s that?”

“Who, him?” Jonathan pointed at Tommy behind him, looking uncomfortable at the family reunion, and Alex rolled his eyes. “Tom Ferguson, he was in class with me at Oxford. I ran into him by chance today.”

Tommy stepped past Jonathan and held out his hand to Alex, nearest to him. “Hi – glad to meet you. Jon’s nephew, eh?”

“Yeah,” said Alex, eyeing him with all the suspicion of a ten-year-old who’d seen what he had seen. Behind him, Rick’s eyes spoke loads about his own distrust. But mistrust towards Jonathan and everything related was par for the course on his part, and, admittedly, reasonable.

Alex has Seen Things. This may sound tongue-in-cheek, but it’s true. After what happened in TMR, he’s 100% entitled to being suspicious of strangers. As for Rick, I took my cue from one of his first lines to Jon in TMR being “What did you do this time?” implying that the weird shit happening right now, with the men in red and the sexy lady waving snakes around isn’t exactly unheard of. Hence the “and, admittedly, reasonable”, which I added in the rewrites.

“Thomas Ferguson, British Antique Research Department,” said Tommy, holding out a hand towards Rick, who shook it slowly, still reluctant.

“Rick O’Connell.”

“So you’re Dr O’Connell’s husband? Pleasure to meet you, sir. I’m impressed, you’ve no idea.”

Rick raised an eyebrow. “Impressed?”

“It seems I’m rather famous in the Research Department,” said Evy, laughing.

“Make that infamous,” quipped Jonathan.

“The Department owes your wife a great deal. She was the one who uncovered a huge amount of our information about some obscure periods of Egyptian history, as well as the major part of serious knowledge we’ve got on Hamunaptra,” Tommy pointed out, and Evy blushed. “She’s a legend – one of the original three who managed to go to Hamunaptra and live to tell the tale! But… I assume you’re another one?”

Oh, Tommy. MATE. You’re saying you know three people made it out of Hamunaptra alive, one of whom a woman with the exact same first and last name as your best friend’s sister who had a passion for ancient history, but you had no idea he was one of them as well?

Incidentally, the early installment weirdness I mentioned earlier mostly consists in Tommy being a lot more energetic and innocent-looking than he later proves to be (which is a little more grounded and pragmatic than Jon). In fact, he and Jonathan’s first couple of scenes together give the impression that he’s the red and Jon’s the blue in the “Bue oni, red oni” trope, when later chapters show Jon as a little bit more of a disaster while Tom struggles to make better choices and be more sensible. Which in the end would make them shades of purple, really.

“Yeah,” said Rick, looking a bit nonplussed. Jonathan definitely didn’t regret bringing Tommy in. Seeing Rick O’Connell confused was a very rare occurrence, too rare to be missed.

“I never knew – who was the third one?”

Jonathan was now struggling to keep a straight face. Rick blinked, and pointed at his brother-in-law. “That was him.”

“You!?” God, the look on his face was priceless. “You were at Hamunaptra?”

“Yes,” risked Jonathan, laughter rising in his voice. “And believe me, it wasn’t exactly a picnic. Oh, by the way, there were four of us, not three.”

Meaning Ardeth, of course. My take is that Tommy - and by extension the Chamber of Horus - know about as much about the Medjai as Evy knew about the Book of Amun-Ra prior to the events of TM: a non-negligible amount of information, but all of it second-hand and some of it a bit dicey.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Rick roll his eyes and grinned, undaunted. This was proving to be a fun evening.

Make the most of it, people, because it’s all going to go downhill fast…

Thank you ♥♥♥

#thatsoneginger #ask reply #fic commentary #Fairy Tales and Hokum

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petty-revenge-stories · 5 years

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Make me move from an unassinged seat? Have fun getting a zero on your Unit Test.

Okay so a little background: Im a high school student and there is no assigned seats. Classroom has around 25 people. If you don't know shadow students are kids who are thinking of going to the school and follow a student around and see what student life is. The person who I got my revenge too, lets just call her Emily (cuz thats her name.)

ROLL CALL!

Me= Me

E= Emily

T= Teacher

EF= Emily's friend

M= uhhh, there is no assigned seat you can just sit next to me.

Let me say this, there were two open seats, one to the right, and one in front of me.

E= Yeah but I sit here everyday. I want to sit here for the test! its my lucky spot.

EF= dude cmon just move!

Now she was extremely rude to me when she first spoke, if she had been nice I would have moved.

M= again, there is no assigned seat, just take the one there.

I point to the one next to me but the girl is taking none of it.

E= Wow, you are so rude! You wont let me sit in my ASSIGNED SEAT!

Bish tf?

M= For the last time there is no assigned seats, is it really a big deal? Just go to the one next to me.

I take my eyes of her so I can focus on rereading the topic for the test. Then I hear a sharp voice from the front of the room

T= Potato! E has told me you have been very rude to her and that you stole the seat she was about to sit in. You need to move so she can sit in the seat she wants to!

Not wanting to go against the sheer devil of the teacher I have, I move to the seat riiiiiigghhht in front of her. Class starts and the teacher hands out the test, now it is a big Unit test so its worth a lot and our grades are about to be set in stone after the test. Here is where the petty revenge begins. During the test I hear a slight whisper from behind me. I stay still and make sure its the girl who was the rude one to me. It was. I look to the wall towards them and I can see them out of the corner of my eye huddled together so they can talk quieter. Perfect. I turn back around only to turn around again but with a huge loud motion and say in a commanding voice, the same one she used on me. "Can you please stop talking I'm trying to take the test here!" Now because I moved so quick and suddenly that they just froze, still huddled together. The teacher looks up from his desk and sees that I'm yelling at the girls and that they were huddled together and puts the pieces together. He was mean, not dumb. He walks to the girls desk and takes the tests off their tables.

T= Girls, I told everyone before the test that if you talk at all you would get a zero. You have disturbed Potato here and probably the people around him. And, I don't know what you were talking about so all I know is that you are cheating. I'm sorry but this is gonna be a zero on your test. Please go to the deans.

The girls try to explain themselves in any way or form but as mention, the teacher is a hard ass and didn't care to listen. They stood up and walked to the office, tears forming in their eyes. This was right before lunch so I had time to find them during lunch and I saw them with their entire group of friends, and make up running down their faces. Next time don't be rude to someone who can punch back.

TL;DR: Girl rudely told me to move from her unassigned seat. I did when she told the teacher. She started talking to her friend during the test and I yelled at them which alerted the teacher. He basically ripped their paper to shreds, or at least their dreams of getting a good grade. (Cheating is a 0)

Thanks for reading, this is my first post so I hope it was good.

Lesson learned eh?

Edit: Kinda long, sorry.

(source) story by (/u/ThatRealPotato)

#pettyrevenge #by /u/ThatRealPotato #petty revenge #revenge story #petty revenge stories #revenge stories

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bruhwhyth0 · 4 years

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WHY THO?

Jesus Christ I was really hoping I’d never have to do this again. I honestly don’t know what is worse, having to watch another shitty movie or rereading my old blog posts and realizing that they were lower in quality than the movies I was reviewing. Fortunately it doesn’t really matter because I know for a fact that my -2 followers don’t seem to mind. But here I am. Once again I must swallow my pride and sumit myself to literal torture all in the name of a grade. To my suprise choosing a crappy movie was almost as difficult as watching one. So many options. So much low hanging fruit. However movies of this nature can always be a mixed bag. I remember when I first started this blog a few years ago some reviews never left my drafts because I didn't have much to write about. Sometimes a movie is so mediocre, so bad, that it can’t even excel at being an awful pile of crap. I chose to write about bad movies because I figured it would be entertaining. You’d think some films, in their own demented way, could at least entertain. But no. Can’t even get that right. I’d find myself at 2’o’clock in the morning looking at my notes only to realize that I basically wrote nothing. All I had was a lingering sense of regret and confusion; like I’d just woken up from a drunken one night stand. All I could do is ask myself, “What the hell did I just watch?” So as I revisit this deserted island I call my blog for what most likely will be the last time, I want to make sure that it is worth it. If I’m going to verbally assault a movie, I’m going to make sure it is an easy target. That was my thought process at least. I soon realized that just because a movie is easy to write about, that doesn’t mean it is easy to watch.

So what movie did I force upon my soul do you ask? Why CATS of course. Because who doesn’t like Cats? Everyone loves cats. What’s not to love about an ungrateful and rude animal that walks around your house like it owns the place. An animal that bites, scratches, and claws at anything it deems unworthy. “Let's make a movie, based off the perverted 80s Broadway production that centered around these literal spawns of Satan,” said every Hollywood executive with their head up their ass. As a matter of fact they thought it was such a good idea that they dropped 95 million U.S. dollars on it.

Now before I continue, as I typed “cats budget” in my google search bar, take a guess what came up after “cats bu..”. CATS BUTTHOLE SMELL. Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell is wrong with people? I tried recreating it in the search bar to screenshot but I couldn’t get it to come up, but trust me. I know what I saw. What is it with cat people man? Seriously. Really threw me off my train of thought.

But yeah, 95 big ones. A lot of good things could have been done with that money, but nope. We needed a live action adaptation of Cats. Did anyone who thought this was a good idea even see the play? That shit was weird. I didn’t watch it, cause, well why the hell would I?

But from the bare minimum research that I did do, the general consensus was that it was a shitty play that made lots of money because people are dumb and will watch anything. I guess producers were hoping lightning would strike twice. If you saw the play you would know that there is literally no plot. It has nothing. It is literally a bunch of weirdos dressed like anthropomorphic cats dry humping each other and singing for 2 hours. I swear its target audience had to consist of lonely 12 years old, sad housewives, and perverts. I tried watching the musical just to get a general reference of the living hell I was going to put myself in only to be utterly mortified. My eyes and ears didn’t last 5 minutes. How it made all the money it did baffles me. But I’m not here to talk about this crime against humanity, I’m here to rip into its bastard child. And boy, oh boy, is there a lot to talk about.

$14.99 in and I’m already regretting my life choices. Everything in my life has led me to this moment and I really wish I could change that. Thanks to what a box office bomb this movie was, I can’t rent it anywhere. I can only buy it. Figures. You're already off to a bad start movie. 2 minutes into the opening scene and I already hate it. People walking around on all fours in fursuits, licking their genitals, singing dancing, some crappy asymmetric musical. WHY! Oh god why did people make this? What kind of furry bullshit is this? I am going to be completely transparent. I’m writing this while I’m watching the movie. I’m not even 5 minutes in and I want to blow my brains out. This is not hyperbole, I wish it was. I can’t dude. I can’t watch this fucking movie. All the characters speak in these weird haikus with British accents. I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t know what anyone is saying half the freaking time. So many made up words and phrases. It's like the script was written by some Dr. Suess rejected. I genuinely have no idea what is going on. I was really hoping that for once one of my reviews wouldn’t sound like the rantings of a madman. But I can’t help it. This crap is rotting my brain. Seriously what is going on. Maybe I’m a simpleton who doesn’t get musicals, but I shit you not there is no plot. I have no idea what the hell is going on. How do you have a movie with no plot?

It’s just singing about being cats... and their FEET. JESUS CHRIST THEY HAVE FEET. No CGI paws. BARE. HUMAN. FEET. God why. How as an actor, do you go on set, act like a literal animal and tell yourself, “yeah this is gonna pan out great.” How did they sit down and go, “I’m going to sit here, lick a fake bowl of milk, sing and dance nonsense, then proceed to lick my non-existent cat balls.” I literally watched an actor snarl directly into the camera. When I went to find out who it was, I was unsurprised to see that all the pictures of the actors were gone. Just names. With a little digging I found out it was Ian Mckellen, you know, from Lord of the Rings. Magneto from Xmen. That Ian Mckellen. Yup, and he snarled to the camera like a cat. Anything for a paycheck right? Who am I to judge, I watched 2019’s Cats for an English class. Who is really losing here, cause frankly I don’t know anymore. If I have anything positive to say about this movie is that it has less dry humping than its source material. Key word less. I better get an A for this.

An hour into the movie and I still don’t know what the fuck is going on. Some dude in overalls is tap dancing. He's a “railway cat” cause he's a conductor or something. I physically cannot do this. I'm dying on the inside. A light inside me is slowly fading. Countless abhorrent musical numbers. Too many for a man to take. To put things in perspective, I did not like Hamilton. Did I respect it for what it was? Of course. Not my cup of tea though. Hamilton was a great musical, arguably one of the best, and I did not enjoy it whatsoever. Now here I am watching Cats. Just a little perspective.

As I came to the end of the movie I saw that I missed all kinds of things. There was a love plot, some kind of contest, and villain. But that didn’t concern me. All I could focus on was how I wasted an hour and a half of my life.

An hour and a half wasted on this.

Do you think God left us because he feared what he created? I sure as hell do. The philosophers were right. Everyday Pantheism is making more and more sense. And if not that nihilism. God is dead. God is most certainly dead. Don’t believe me? The GIF above is all the proof you need.

I was hoping that for once one of these blogs would have some sense of conformity. Some sort of cohesion. Maybe an ounce of legitimacy. But I couldn’t. There is something about these movies that drain the life from you. Every second spent looking at my computer screen I felt brain cells dying. I might as well have drunk a whole 750 milliliter bottle of Everclear. That or bang my head against a wall for 15 minutes. Either would have been just as effective; and probably more efficient.

I thought that I could improve upon the quality of my blog. When I reread my old post I realized that they had no depth. I thought maybe it was me. Right? I was 15, What did I know about good writing? No. It never had anything to do with me. Movies like Cats are such horrendous abominations of human creation, that there is literally no way to talk about them with any form of professional effort. They are shallow. There is nothing to analyze. How can you analyze garbage? Art requires respect if it wants to be reviewed and judged accordingly. Cats and films like it don’t have my respect and never will. I type this with immense pleasure. Never again. Never will I ever put myself through this bull again. Thankfully, for the last time. I can ask Why Tho?

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pinkamour1588 · 7 years

Text

Begin Again (Part 2)

Part 1

Pairing: McKirk

Prompt: A non-coffee shop coffee shop AU for @yourtropegirl‘s 1000 follower celebration

Summary: Sometimes love shows up when and where you least expect it.

Rating: Teen

Word count: 1666

Leonard lied awake that night. Not because the couch was terrible to sleep on, though it really was. No. Because he couldn’t figure out what Jim was up to lying to Jocelyn about them dating. But there was a part of him that really wished it wasn’t a lie.

He woke up to find a text from Jim.

Sorry about yesterday. Guess I got carried away. You can tell her we broke up or whatever.

He reread the text a few times before looking at Joanna, still unconscious. Looking back down at his phone, he sighed and called Jim.

“Hi, Bones,” Jim said nervously.

“Why did you do it?” Leonard asked.

“Because I told the nurse I was your boyfriend so that she’d let me in. I kinda had to keep up the act.”

“You couldn’t’ve just said you were my friend or called me to let me know you were at the front desk? Jim, you can’t go telling people we’re dating. We’re not. Not even close to it.”

“What if it was true?” Jim whispered.

“What?”

“It could be true.”

“Jim,” Leonard sighed.

“It’s fine. I get it. Just tell her we broke up or whatever you want. I’ll leave you alone.”

“And deal with her going on about how I can’t keep someone around? No, get your ass down here. We should have this discussion in person anyway.”

“Be there in half an hour?”

“Please bring coffee.”

“Was already planning on it.”

When Jocelyn and Clay showed up, Jim was sitting on the couch reading while Leonard talked to Joanna’s doctor.

“You couldn’t’ve waited until I got here?” Jocelyn asked bitterly.

“I was talking to Leonard about what I’ve been up to lately, Ms. Darnell,” Dr. Fisher answered.

“He doesn’t need to be in here.” Jocelyn pointed to Jim.

“Then Clay doesn’t need to either,” Leonard gestured toward the older man standing a foot behind Jocelyn.

She scowled at Leonard, then said, “Go on, Doctor.”

***

Jim started spending about the same amount of time at the hospital as Leonard did. Jocelyn didn’t stop scowling at him every time she saw him.

After about four days, Leonard was woken up by someone gently shaking him and whispering, “Bones,” urgently.

“Why are you waking me up?” he grumbled as he looked over at Jim who had apparently showed up at some unholy hour of the morning, better known at six.

Jim just pointed over at the bed. Leonard bolted up so fast he almost knocked Jim onto the floor.

“Daddy,” Joanna whispered, her lower lip trembling.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Leonard gave her a small smile as he sat on the edge of the bed brushing her dark hair out of her eyes.

She reached out for him and he took her hand, glancing over his shoulder at Jim, who was staring at the two of them.

“Can you get a nurse?” Leonard asked.

Jim nodded and walked out of the room.

“Daddy,” Joanna whined tugging on his hand trying to get him closer.

“I can’t give you a hug until I have the ok.” He rubbed her arm gently.

The second he had the ok half an hour later, Leonard pulled Joanna onto his lap and held her close.

“Your mama and Clay should be here too soon,” he said softly after a few minutes slowly combing the knots out of her hair with his fingers.

“No,” she shook her head.

“Yes. The nurse called them. They’ll be here soon.”

“I don’t want them.”

“Jo, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t like Clay,” she mumbled into Leonard’s shirt.

Leonard restrained himself from saying “me too” and answered, “Well, that’s not very nice to say.”

“Clay’s not very nice.”

“Why’s that?”

“He yells at me. Tells me to be quiet when I’m talking to Mama.”

“Are you interrupting?” Leonard asked rubbing her back.

“No. Never,” a voice from the doorway said.

Leonard looked over his shoulder to see Jocelyn standing in the doorway.

“She’s always perfectly polite. Never interrupts,” Jocelyn continued. “Clay just…He’d rather she stayed quiet.”

He turned back to Joanna, who was hiding her face in his chest and gripping his shirt. Jocelyn walked over so she was standing in front of Leonard and Joanna.

“What happened in that car, Jocelyn? And don’t you dare lie to me,” Leonard asked unsure if he was more scared of the answer, angry at what the answer could be, or heartbroken at the sight of his baby girl sniffling in his arms.

“We’d gone out to dinner. It was Clay’s birthday. I had a little too much wine so I couldn’t drive, and Clay had only had one beer. At least that I remember. Joanna was telling me about her day and he was getting frustrated telling her to be quieter because he was trying to focus on driving. Eventually he just turned around for a few seconds to tell her to just be quiet. Though, it was more like yelling. And the roads were a bit slick from the rain and he lost control.”

Leonard tightened his hold on Joanna who was borderline sobbing. “And how often? Besides the crash. How often does he yell at her?”

“More often than I care to think about.”

“When?”

“Everyday. Louder when he’s drunk.”

“How often is he drunk?” Leonard was doing everything he could to keep his voice steady.

“Often. Couple times a week.”

“I want custody.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want her going back to live with him.”

Jocelyn nodded.

“Full custody.”

“Ok.”

“Including from the second she’s released.”

“Ok, I’ll call my lawyer.” Jocelyn looked at Joanna for a long moment, utterly heartbroken, before walking out.

Once Joanna was calmed down, she started looking around the hospital room. Until her gaze landed on Jim sitting on the couch flipping through a comic book with black framed glasses perched on his nose.

“Who are you?” she asked.

Jim looked up and pushed his glasses back up. “I’m Jim. I’m your daddy’s…”

“Boyfriend,” Leonard finished for him.

Joanna looked at him then at Leonard. “He looks nice.”

Had Jim not be continuing to stare at Leonard in shock, he would have laughed.

“He is.”

“He doesn’t yell?”

“No, he can get a little loud when he gets excited, but I know of someone else who does that too.” Leonard winked at her.

Jim took his glasses off and set them on top of the comic book as he stood. He walked over to the bed, pulling the chair next to it closer and sitting down. “I don’t like when people yell when they get upset either, so I don’t.”

“I’m Joanna,” she said shifting around on Leonard’s lap so she could stick out her hand that wasn’t in a cast.

Jim grinned at her as he shook her hand.

***

Six months later

Leonard mentally prepared himself for the chaos his apartment no doubt was in. It always ended up a mess when he left the two of them alone for more than an hour. It had been ten hours between a partial shift in the operating room, meetings, and a final meeting with Jocelyn, their lawyers, and a judge to finalize the custody agreement.

When he opened the front door, he sighed. There were blankets and pillows everywhere. Joanna’s dolls were scattered on the floor not far from the coffee table, half-finished game of Life sat on the kitchen table. And it was quiet which could either be really good or really bad.

He sighed as he walked down the hall, far too tired to deal with the mess until the morning. He stopped in the doorway to Joanna’s room and smiled.

“Daddy,” she smiled when she saw him. She very carefully closed the old comic book in her hands and put it on her nightstand as he walked over.

“I see you wore poor Jim out,” Leonard laughed.

“Just a little,” Jim said as he opened his eyes before getting up from where he laid next to her.

“Did you already brush your teeth?” Leonard asked.

“Yes,” Joanna nodded.

“Then it’s time for you to get some sleep.”

Jim leaned down and gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight, Jojo.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Jim,” she answered before he walked out of the room.

“Did you have fun?” Leonard asked as he tucked her in.

“Lots.”

“No fires I should know about?”

She laughed, then looked up at him as seriously as she could and asked, “Are you gonna ask him, Daddy?”

“Soon, now sleep.” He kissed her forehead and turned out the light.

“Goodnight, Daddy.”

“Goodnight, Jo.” He closed the door leaving a small crack, then walked to the main room where Jim was cleaning up the game on the kitchen table. He walked over and wrapped his arms around the blond, kissing his neck. “Just leave it.”

“And have you upset about having to clean up the mess I made and then left?”

“You can help clean up in the morning.”

“I’m not driving all the way back here just for that. I mean, I love you and all, but…”

“Then don’t.”

Jim turned around and looked at Leonard curiously. “So, do you want me to help clean up or not? Cause I can’t go home and clean up your apartment from mine.”

“Then make this our apartment. Not mine. Ours.”

“Are you sure?”

“You practically live here already. Might as well make it official.”

“Our apartment. I like how that sounds,” Jim grinned nodding.

“Let’s go to bed.” Leonard went to pull away but was pulled closer to Jim instead as the blond pressed his lips to Leonard’s. “Bed,” he repeated when Jim pulled away.

“Yes, dear,” Jim teased as he walked away.

Leonard shook his head slowly as he locked the front door before heading to bed. He poked his head into Joanna’s room and whispered, “He said yes.”

When he walked away, Joanna smiled to herself.

All fics: @auduna-druitt @yourtropegirl @goodnightwife @thinkwritexpress-official @captainsbabysitter-blog @shewolf-2013 @the-space-goddess-16 @mustanglegends @outside-the-government @emmkolenn @feelmyroarrrr @anotherotter @captain-amelia-bradley @goingknowherewastaken

McKirk: @meterorite-queen @skull-in-a-jar @shewhorunswithfandoms @watchoutforthatsarlaccpitt @t-hy-lla @medicatemedrmccoy

#mckirk fic #mckirk #jim kirk imagine #leonard mccoy imagine #bones imagine #kirk x mccoy #mccoy x kirk #leonard mccoy #Jim Kirk #james t. kirk #star trek fanfiction #why does mckirk happen to good people #fic #amanda writes

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niukoiku · 4 years

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Just going to suggest all 50 for you!

1. Are you enjoying yourself? I’m Still working. But I have a lot of amaxing friends that put up with my shit and push me to be better.

2. Do you miss how life used to be? Yes. And No. It’s weird, I guess because people in general don’t have much to do, I’ve had a lot more compliments on the things I’m trying to achieve.

3. What are you doing with your time now that you're home? Again, Am working but at home, I listen to lo-fi and draw and thing about youtube.

4. What drinks do you have in the fridge right now? A few cans of thatchers, mil, some orange juice (with bits, can’t stand the bits)

5. What snacks do you have in your house right now? Mostly stuff I brought, Thai sweet chilli crisps, just a bag of prawns. My kinda snacks.

6. When was the last time you stepped outside, and what for? For work, I walked down to the bus stop, grabbing pokestops and gyms on my way.

7. What's a book you hope to read while quarantined? If I ever get the chance and the time, I’d love to reread harry potter but I also want to finish a certain series.

8. What's a goal you hope to achieve while being quarantined? My goal is always to just get better. I think I have. Honestly, But I am no where near I wanna be. And Honestly? Everyone always has room to grow.

9. How long do you think you can last like this? Not long enough/too long.

10. What is the last thing you've read? I read in depth, the twilight forest mod for minecraft.

11. What show are you catching up on? All caught up now! But have been told to watch the tiger king??

12. Are you a "stay in pajamas all day kind"of person? Can do, doesn’t affect my productivity.

13. What time did you go to sleep last night? Haven’t slept for 24 hours <3

14. What time did you wake up today? Stil again

15. Are you staying active? Walk every day for an hour and then work out, 100 sit ups, 10km run etc

16. Are you staying hydrated? Not as much as I should!

17. How long do you think this quarantine will last? Atleast another month proper.

18. If you had to study one subject everyday for the rest of this quarantine, what would you study? Science

19. How much weight do you suppose you'll put on by the time this quarantine is over? think I would’ve lost a bit.

20. What's your favorite board game? Board game - sheriff of nottingham or pandemic.

21. What's your favorite card game? Magic the gathering - or new market

23. What's your favorite tv show? Dcotor who

24. What's your favorite snack? Still like jaffa cakes but also love crackers and cheese

26. What's your favorite beverage? Non-alcoholic - Dr Pepper Alcoholic - Cider (thatchers gold)

27. What do you like most about the quarantine? Spending digital time with friends.

28. What are you finding most challenging about the quarantine? I’m still working so that sucks, but I guess I’m doing some kind of service??

29. Do you think COVID-19 is as bad as the media says it is? Nah, Being honest, I don’t think Boris ever caught it.

30. What precautions have you taken to stay safe from COVID-19? Oh too many. I’m a clean freak at the best of times. My hands are red raw from washing too much and disinfectant etc. Who the government really gives a shit about, which isn’t enough. I’m just glad people finally know how to wash their hands.

31. What have you learned so far from this experience? I’m worse on my own. And that i am scared of death. not my own, others.

32. Are you introverted, omniverted, or extroverted? like 95% introverted.

33. Which room in your house do you spend the most time in? Bedroom, probably or my study.

34. Who are you most worried about? My mumma. Duh.

35. Who was the last person you texted, called, facetimed? Texted - my dad. I wanted to know how he was doing. Called - My manager, mostly wanted to know if I still had to work or not Skyped (facetime) - My sisters Ex. Always got on with him and he needed some guidance.

36. What three emojis best describe your attitude towards what's going on right now? o.o _ o.e _ n_n’

37. If you had to live in one item of clothing for the rest of this quarantine what would it be? My tiger onesie for sure.

38. What was the last meal you cooked and how did it taste? I was a fantastic bowl of ramen. (It’s like the one thing I can cook and everyone loves)

39. What's your favorite restaurant? Is it closed? Wagamama’s. I haven’t checked but I imagine it is.

40. What is your favorite store? Is it closed? Amazon/yogscast never closer. profit profit profit.

41. How many things have you purchased online since being in quarantine? Like one thing? It was a bottle of hair dye.

42. What was the last thing you purchased online? Opps. bottle of hair dye.

43. What's getting you through these tough times? My dumb ass friends and dnd.

44. Are you keeping up with the news? I’ll check everyday. but it really has been the same for the last few weeks.

45. Are you stressed? Too much energy to get stressed.

46. Tell me something positive.\ Even after this pandemic, we’ll still have 7 billion people in this world. So find someone!

47. Give me some advice. Never give up. Never. When your heat burns... when you cry til there are no tears left. Don’t give uo. And, lol, Hydrate!

48. What's your favorite quote? “We’re all stories in the end, just make it a good one, aye?.”

49. What's your favorite book? Looking for Alaska - Jonathan Green

50. Tell me an interesting fact. I can be very cute. I swear. We are waiting on the day, “the cracks are closing”

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janschreiner · 4 years

Text

Dr. Jess O-Reilly Plays 20 Questions with SHA!

“You’re the ultimate expert in your own sexuality and pleasure.”

The Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) is centered around providing Provocative Dialogue and Radical Collaboration. What would radical collaboration look like for you?

To me, radical collaboration involves sharing my business and working with industry peers who don’t have the same opportunities and privilege as I do. This might involve referring out services to folks who are better qualified to speak on specific issues (e.g. Black sexuality, sex for people with disabilities). It also involves sharing resources, insights and experiences for low/no cost to those in financial need. And at times, it involves sharing the financial profits on specific projects (e.g. collaborating on products like books, video courses and speaking engagements).

As a prominent sexuality professional, you have made a wonderful career as a sex educator. What would you recommend to young educators or therapists wanting to follow in your footsteps?

Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for the support of your peers and potential mentors. Many of us want to help and if you’re very specific with your request (e.g. Can I pick your brain? is too broad, but Could you look over this introductory paragraph of my book proposal? is more manageable), you’ll probably receive a positive reply.

What book(s) are you reading right now?

I’m rereading Life and Death in Shanghai.

What’s the most important thing you talk about with your clients?

Custom-designing their relationships. There is no one-size-fits-all approach and you can make almost any arrangement work if you’re not burdened by social pressure.

What are the top 3 items on your bucket list?

1. I’d like to build an affordable housing building in my hometown of Toronto and see if we can grow the project to be sustainable; eventually, I’d like to continue to build additional units.

2. I’d like to adopt a child.

3. I want to live to be 100+.

One of our goals is to provide all therapists and healthcare providers with high quality sexuality training because they often receive little to no education in sexual health. What is the most important piece about sex that you want all providers to know? What would you want them to incorporate into their practice?

I’d like every professional to understand that our personal sex and relationship lenses can be completely irrelevant to our clients/patients’ lived experience. This doesn’t mean that our work isn’t shaped by personal experience, but simply that we need to be aware of our own biases and limits. And we need to be more aware of our layers of privilege related to race, gender, income, education, ability, nation of birth, relationship status, social status and professional roles.

What are your top 2 books that have influenced you and why?

Give and Take by Adam Grant. This was an affirming read, as he shares stories and data suggesting that good people do finish first in life and in business.

Our Bodies, Ourselves. I read this many, many years ago when I was in school and it offered such an important perspective on so many different topics. I know they’ve updated it since then and I’ve been meaning to go back to it and read the new version, so thanks for the reminder!

What is bad advice you have heard other people in our field give?

I still hear professionals talk about other cultures and countries as though they’re monoliths that they understand because they worked with clients from a specific culture or they lived in a place for a few months or years. If you’re not a part of a group or culture, elevate the voice of someone from that group instead of speaking for or about them. Nothing about us without us.

Who is your sexual role model?

That’s a great question! I’m not sure I know enough about anyone else’s sex life to call them a role model. Marla Renee Stewart is a general role model — personally and professionally — and I believe she has very happy relationships — sexual and otherwise.

SHA utilizes social media to reach our members as well as to find new sexuality content and research, how do you think social media has influenced our culture’s sexuality?

I’m so thankful for the reach and impact of social media. Putting the power of broadcast into individual hands (instead of allowing it to rest in the hands of a few corporations) has shifted and broadened the content we consume. Accounts like @SexPositiveFamilies, for example, disseminate essential information that mainstream (old) media would never have touched. Research shows that digital consumption and connections can foster digital empathy, galvanize support, create feelings of belonging and build community. Of course, social media is still owned by a few corporations and we don’t have access to how they disseminate our posts, so we have to be mindful that new media also has its limitations.

Our team finds podcasts, youtube and other social media platforms sometimes more educational and useful than traditional models. Do you think social media should have a place in formal training, and if so, how much?

There are accounts that offer high-quality, evidence-based information and there are also powerful accounts that provide misinformation. I think it’s important to analyze media (including social media) in all training and examine messages and biases. Part of all learning processes involves developing and tuning our critical thinking skills and I believe that we can certainly use social media as both a lens and subject.

What made you create your Happily ever after approach to working with couples?

I work primarily with folks who run or own businesses. They’re passionate about their work and they claim that their family is the most important aspect of their lives, but they don’t always act like it. Our Marriage As a Business approach involves applying business practices and acumen to intimate relationships. This might entail hosting board meetings (relationship check-ins), building a support team (e.g. therapists and babysitters), respecting timelines (e.g. showing up to dinner on time), planning ahead (e.g. carving out time weeks, months or even a year in advance).

As a Canadian born, Chinese-Jamaican and Irish by descent person, what has been the most challenging aspect of working in this field?

My gender, appearance and (perceived) ethnicity provide me with both privilege and challenges. As a woman talking about a sensitive topic in the public eye, I draw considerable criticism, harassment and personal attacks — on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, my website contact form and even on LinkedIn. I ignore most of it, but sometimes it does feel like death by a thousand paper cuts. Luckily, I have a lot of support too. And I love life and I’m lucky in so many ways, so I try not to expend my energy on the harassment.

Where is your next dream vacation?

I’m not sure. I have a big birthday coming up in February and I’m deciding between Tuscany, Japan and Jamaica. Help me choose!

What are 2 of the most important things you do everyday?

If I’m home, my partner makes me a decaf macchiato or cortado in a small double-wall glass, which I try to take the time to enjoy without reading, working or scrolling. The glassware and all the details add to my enjoyment; he weighs the beans, grinds them with a beautiful manual grinder, pulls the shots at the right pace and warms the milk to the perfect temperature. It sounds pretentious, but I don’t care, because it’s delicious.

I don’t have many rituals, because I’m on the road most of the time and everything is always changing. But I do make time to enjoy myself wherever I go — even if I only have a few hours in a new city or country, I try to walk to a local third-wave coffee shop or market to get a pulse on local life. If I have time for lunch, I always treat myself to something delicious. Food is my love language and working in the food industry is a part of my family background.

What’s your favorite place you’ve traveling to for you job and why?

It’s hard to pick a favorite place, but Istanbul certainly stands out as a highlight. The people are always so warm and gracious. The rich culture, history and architecture overwhelm me. And the food is so delicious and varied. I hope to return again soon.

What’s the most challenging aspect of being in business with your partner, Brandon? (They are married)

Me. I’m the most challenging aspect. He’s much easier to work with.

We don’t work together full-time. He helps out to co-host the podcast, but he has his own unrelated business that keeps him very busy.

The most challenging aspect relates to my travel schedule. I love travel and I love flying and dealing with the unpredictability of new surroundings, but I do miss being physically together. This was a challenge for several years, but he travels with me far more often now, as he has more flexibility with his business.

What’s your favorite story to tell?

I’m a storyteller. As they say, a story doesn’t have to be true to be good. Ha!

But here’s a true one:

On a flight from Denver to Albuquerque a few years ago, a guy threw up all over me as the plane landed. Instead of just vomiting, he tried to keep it in his cheeks and so the trajectory changed and it sprayed everywhere — all over me and in the hair of the couple in front of us. People were dry heaving all around us and I was just hoping that no one else would vomit. I remember thinking that if one more person vomits, the whole plane is going to become a vomit comet. I don’t know why I picked that story, but it just popped into my head.

If you want something sexuality-related:

One time I was at a sex club and two people high fived on the bed next to us while exclaiming, “Oh yeah. This is so hot! And it’s a great workout, so we can skip the gym tomorrow!”. This was their dirty talk and it got them all riled up, but it killed the vibe for me and some of the others in close proximity.

Another time, as lady who was 7+ months pregnant stopped me and asked if I could help her figure out a good position for DP (double penetration) given her big belly. This was a time when I was reminded that they definitely don’t teach you everything you need to know in school.

Your bio says you like airplane turbulence! Can you tell us more about why you like it?

I just love airplanes — I love flying in them, talking about them, reading about them. And I like the physical thrill of a little turbulence — especially in a bigger plane. I will reroute to fly on a cool plane (e.g. the 787-9) and I hope to train as a pilot someday.

Being trained in sex & disabilities, can you give us some tips on why discussing disability is important?

All sexual health education needs to be inclusive and this includes talking about sex as it relates to race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship arrangement, income, and disability. I facilitated sessions on sex and disability early on in my career and now I’ve learned that I should pass the mic and advocate for paying opportunities for fellow sexologists who have disabilities. There are many qualified folks who simply don’t get the same paid opportunities as I do because of ableism.

When we leave folks with disabilities out of the conversation, we reinforce inaccurate stereotypes and put them at greater risk, as sexual health education produces positive health outcomes regardless of whether or not you have a disability.

What's an important take away from your new book The New Sex Bible?

Do what feels good for you. Don’t worry about what the experts or your friends have to say. You’re the ultimate expert in your own sexuality and pleasure.

About Dr. Jess

Jess O’Reilly began working as a sexuality counsellor in 2001 and she has never looked back! Her PhD studies involved the development of training programs in sex education for teachers and her education and undergraduate degrees focused on equity and sexual diversity.

Her training includes courses in counselling skills, healthy relationships, resolving sexual concerns, sex education, clinical sexology, sexual development, sex and disability, group therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

Alongside her academic and television credits, Dr. Jess is also an accomplished author with three best-selling titles. Her latest, The New Sex Bible, has received rave reviews from professionals and clients alike and her first book Hot Sex Tips,Tricks and Licks is in its fourth print! Look for her monthly column in Post City or catch her on Tuesday mornings on Global TV’s The Morning Show, Wednesdays on 102.1 The Edge and Saturdays on PlayboyTV.

Dr. Jess’ work experience includes contracts with school boards, social services agencies, community health organizations and private corporations. A sought-after speaker, her sessions always attract a full-house at conferences and entertainment events alike.

Check out more about Dr. Jess!

Follow Dr. Jess on Twitter & Instagram

Dr. Jess O-Reilly Plays 20 Questions with SHA! published first on https://spanishflyhealth.tumblr.com/

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ais-n · 7 years

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Hello! I love love love ICOS and was wondering if I could ask a few questions. Namely, what were yours & Santino's inspirations for the series? For example, the Neo-Tokyo setting in Akira strongly reminded me of ICOS, but that could be my own perception of the world in ICOS. Were there any books, movies, anime, manga, etc, that helped to inspire ICOS?

Aww, thank you! I’m happy you like it!

As for inspiration... hmm, I’m trying to think. Honestly, we didn’t really have a specific inspiration from what I can recall. I think a lot of things were just what made sense to us or sounded like fun, and then otherwise inspiration or ideas leached together from lots of sources or everyday living and we put it in from there. Sometimes it was real life stuff, sometimes it was maybe just watching shows and thinking, “That could be cool.”

I have examples beneath the cut of things that either inspired us in parts or else ended up having some cool similarities even if we thought of them separately, but one thing I did want to mention is I’m always on the lookout for characters in shows or movies who could be a nice media representation of ICoS characters. I had started compiling some ideas of that a few years ago and found the link in case you are curious or bored:

ICoS character inspirations: (note, not that the ICoS characters were inspired by these characters, but that these characters seem like cool representations of ICoS characters -- i probably should have said ICoS character representations instead of inspirations, come to think of it...) Anyway that’s here: https://aisness.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/icos-character-inspirations/

And here are some adorable baby Boyd representations from Criminal Minds: https://aisness.wordpress.com/2013/09/17/baby-boyd/

Inspiration examples below!

For example, I used to love the hell out of Fringe and I watched it every week. One episode they had this whole thing about how this one character was kidnapped and the way they found out where they were held or where stuff was happening was by finding out that there was an excessive amount of electricity that was being used in a seemingly abandoned warehouse. Also, that character wasn’t content to just sit there waiting to be rescued; they tried to escape but couldn’t due to reasons, but that came up later in the episode. I liked that it didn’t diminish the character’s strength even in being captured but it also didn’t make it like suddenly they were superhuman and could do anything. Then, completely separately from that and probably years apart, I was doing research on human experimentation and watched things like the documentary Philosophy of a Knife and did a lot of research on Unit 731, and I got some ideas from that. Also completely separately from that and years apart, I’ve always been interested in psychology and psychiatry and I’d also read the book Rape of the Mind by Dr. Joost A.M. Meerloo which is a book from 1956 that talks about brainwashing of POWs and also whether or not brainwashing actually exists in reality or if it’s something else that’s happening with similar results. Plus I’ve done lots of research totally separately from all of that for trafficking etc.

All those things coalesced and then changed into inspiration for a particular situation that shows up later in the series that I don’t want to go into specifics of for spoilers for people who are earlier in the series, but you might know immediately what I’m thinking about. And if not and if you want me to specify with spoilers just let me know and I can do so behind a cut :)

(PS: Philosophy of a Knife is violent as fucking hell--seriously, seriously graphic. Do not watch it if you are faint of heart. I say this so no poor soul is like “Oh yeah Ais mentioned something about this maybe I’ll watch it! :D” and then is traumatized for life. They went all out on it. It’s actually kind of controversial because of that...)

Then there was other inspiration like sometimes I would dream about something and then wake up and be like, “Oh hey, cool plot idea!” or we would just think through what is likely to happen for that character based on their story line or their personality or human nature or etc and it developed from there.

I would say probably the closest thing to ICoS I know of for a series is La Femme Nikita, specifically the TV show that was on 1997-2001. I had actually never seen it or possibly even heard of it when we started writing ICoS -- I didn’t see the first couple of seasons until years into us writing ICoS. Santino had seen it years prior, iirc, but he hadn’t thought of it for a while. Anyway there are some interesting similarities between ICoS and LFN, a lot of which developed separately and was not inspired by LFN because I hadn’t even seen it so I knew nothing of it and I don’t know Santino’s inspiration or not but we decided things together so I know there are definitely a number of things I suggested with no knowledge of LFN.

The one thing I know that was inspired by LFN was the term ‘valentine’ which Santino suggested and which I think he got from LFN, but I think everything else is pretty coincidental, which makes sense because they’re such similar themes that there’s bound to be overlap in ideas. What was really interesting to me was when I did finally watch it, I was like, “Hey!! Michael is how I imagine early Boyd to be!!” in terms of his seeming lack of emotion, the way he has such minimal facial expressions and intonation, the way he seems so cold and sometimes a bit ruthless but then other times is bad ass. But Michael is like what Fade-level Agent Boyd would be in skills but with early Evenfall Boyd personality. Anyway, that was super exciting finding someone who represented that minimal emotion I imagined. (Also there’s a character in an anime who fights like how I imagined Fade Agent Boyd fights... I forgot the anime but I can track it down if you want)

You should totally watch that TV show if you haven’t. I never finished it but I need to ^^;; I think I saw through Season 2, maaaaybe s3?, but I never watched all of it and always meant to. I liked what I saw of it from what I recall but I have no idea about how it ended. (I’m a spoilerphobe) I also haven’t seen the original movie it was based on (I don’t think? uggh can’t remember) and I definitely haven’t seen the reboot they did more recently. No idea how much ICoS and those LFNs are similar but the 1997 tv show might be fun for ICoS fans to watch, just keeping in mind it has all the cheesiness of late 90′s/early 2000′s shows lol

I guess the last thing I’d say is I’m generally always inspired in terms of storytelling by my absolute favorite series ever, One Piece by Eiichiro Oda. The layering of his storytelling is masterfully done, and I also really love as a reader/viewer the way he can make me fucking bawl my eyes out and then a page or two later burst out laughing. I’ve always really valued the depth and range of emotions he elicits in his story, and the way he layers super minute details that have massive impact later on the plot, interwoven with the usual character development and on-page normal plot development, so that when you’re reading the first time there’s plenty of interest but that series also makes a phenomenal 2nd, 3rd, 10th, 20 billionth reread, because I swear every time I reread I notice new things I never noticed before because I didn’t have enough information about that plot.

I love to do the same thing in writing anything I have a hand in--for any sort of significant story at all, I don’t like to write for the first read; I like to write for the second, third, fourth reread. I mean obviously it needs to be interesting enough the first time around, but I personally like to add little details or character development or whatever which is more evident the second or more time of reading when you know everything you need to know, so when you go back to the start you can be like “OHHH! So THAT’S why--!” I got to do that a bit in ICoS but I’m going even more crazy with that in the book I’m working on now independently, because I am a nerd and it’s super fun to me. But anyway that way of writing a story over the course of the entire series rather than writing it solely book by book is something that definitely inspired me in writing Boyd for all of ICoS and all of my characters in it, and I don’t know what inspirations Santino has but whatever has inspired him also complements that inspiration of mine nicely, so that we both ended up being interested in writing that longer-form story built by shorters stories in between, rather than doing stories book by book with transitions in between but less of an overarching arc. If that makes sense? Hopefully it does.

Also we had made Sin and Boyd and some other characters as RPG characters in separate RPGs so I think we pulled some of that stuff over too, so in a way the original characters they were in those original other worlds probably gave some inspiration for their initial personalities.

btw, Neo-Tokyo in Akira is really interesting as a connection you made in your mind! I haven’t watched Akira in foreverrrrr so I can’t recall it well enough to be able to say either way but my memory of it makes sense for why you thought of that, so that’s cool! I should watch Akira again, or maybe it read it this time... Thinking of Akira is making me nostalgic for all those series that are older but still great, like now I want to watch again Cowboy Bebop, or Trigun, or even Yami no Matsuei, or... Oh actually! Totally unrelated but speaking of! Recently I found the whole series for Kare Kano (Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou/His and Her Circumstances) and omggggg having that sitting on my shelf without me watching it all over again is making me diiiiieeeeeee I’m dyingggggggg but I know I’ll get super into it again for nostalgia’s sake so I’m trying to make myself hold off until I can devote time to it.

Wow I rambled like fuck in this, sorry XD I guess the tl;dr is it was getting bits of ideas or inspiration from random or various places and then other things just kind of developing naturally in our minds, and it all came together into the monster that is ICoS XD

#ask ais #icos #in the company of shadows #rambling like fuck #jfc #carneliane

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amyddaniels · 4 years

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Yoga Teachers Tell Us What They're Reading Right Now

Yoga teachers recommend their most treasured books to help brighten your days while hunkering down.

Catch up on your reading during quarantine.

Got extra time on your hands or looking to decompress? Curl up with a book that engages your mind and lifts your spirits. From Kathryn Budig to Tracee Stanley to Rina Deshpande, yoga teachers share their favorite books for daily inspiration during turbulent times.

See also How to Make Space for Your Passion Project During the Shutdown

Altered Traits: Science Reveals how Meditation Changes your Mind, Brain, and Body

By Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson

"Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body (2017) is a joint effort between the psychologist and science writer Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson, a professor of psychology and psychiatry with a focus in neuroscience. There are a lot of opinions swirling around the yoga world, and I love that this book uses scientific research to separate fact from fiction in terms of what meditation actually does for those who practice it. The authors also discuss how different types of meditation produce different results—with some methods serving to make the practitioner more altruistic, and others helping with depression and even pain management. Given the current precarious state of the world, I appreciate the way this book reminds readers that adopting a consistent meditation practice can help us navigate the world in a kinder, healthier, and less reactive way, and in doing so, become better members of the larger community."

Recommended by Kiley Holliday

Buy Altered Traits now.

Yoga and the Quest for the True Self

By Stephen Cope

"I think it is very challenging to tell the story of how yoga changes us and how it opens our eyes to the mystical elements of life. Stephen Cope does this beautifully in his first book. It is a story of awakening and also an education about the deeper aspects of yoga."

Recommended by Erica Mather

Buy Yoga and The Quest for the True Self now.

The Radiance Sutras

By Dr. Lorin Roche

"Reading this book is like listening to a conversation between two lovers, where one is longing to experience more of the divine in everyday life, and the other offers the instructions.The Radiance Sutras is one of the most beautiful thing that I've ever read. Not only has it shaped the way that I look at meditation, it's also shaped the way I look at life. This text awakened something inside of me that I couldn’t deny. It encourage me to take the first steps on what would become an incredible journey—both beautiful and painful, where I experienced the deepest love and deepest heartbreak, and through this practice of meditation, I learned to cherish it all—that it was all beautiful."

Recommended by Coby Kozlowski, author of One Degree Revolution: How the Wisdom of Yoga Inspires Small Shifts That Lead to Big Changes

Buy Radiance Sutras now.

Welcoming the Unwelcome

By Pema Chödrön

“I love Pema. I hear her voice in my head all the time. She constantly says to me ‘Sukhraj, you are the sky. Everything else is just the weather. Turn and face it, walk right into the center of all you are feeling right now and know none of it has be any different than it is right now–be compassionate with yourself.’ I'm reading her current book Welcoming the Unwelcome. In Chapter 18, Welcoming the Unwelcome with Laughter, she says "Humor lightens up the spiritual path and prevents it from becoming a drag. It gives us the openness to go deeper into the teachings, rather than become fixated on what we think they mean.” I see these current events giving all of us an incredible opportunity to connect more to our spirit and all spirits. This is not done by thinking, and laughter is one of the best ways to bypass thinking and simply feel connected to whomever you're laughing with. For me, everything Pema writes about can easily be traced back to a yogic teaching. Her explanations are so simple and easily translate into my daily life.”

Recommended by Sukhraj Gipple

Buy Welcoming the Unwelcome now.

Yoga Biomechanics: Stretching Redefined

By Jules Mitchell

"My recommendation is the book Yoga Biomechanics: Stretching Redefined by Jules Mitchell. Jules writes elegantly about biomechanics as it relates to stretching in the asanas. This book is for anyone who wants to understand and use more nuanced language around stretching. It’s for seekers who are less interested in binary right/wrong type thinking around stretching, alignment, and sequencing, and who are more interested in engaging with the questions science raises about our biases and practicing critical thinking to re-examine our beliefs about the human body. Jules’ book is about stretching—yes—but maybe even more importantly, it’s about epistemology and learning to more clearly identify and embrace the limits of what we can know based on current research. What I love about Jules’ book is that it asks us to soften our certainty in our pursuit of truth. Simply put, this book is a game changer, and I think it would be an excellent book to sink one’s teeth into intellectually and creatively during this time of relative social isolation (when we might have more time for learning!)"

Recommended by Laurel Beversdorf

Buy Yoga Biomechanics now.

Skill In Action: Radicalizing Your Yoga Practice to Create a Just World

By Michelle C. Johnson

"In these uncertain times when disparities in power and privilege are illuminated so clearly, Skill In Action: Radicalizing Your Yoga Practice to Create a Just World by Michelle C. Johnson seems even more relevant than usual. This book is an education in topics like power, privilege, and oppression, and it's also an invitation for deeply personal growth toward your own liberation. It is a simple and clear introduction into social justice as yoga, and how personal practice holds immense potential for collective healing."

Recommended by Amber Karnes

Buy Skill in Action now.

Prayers and Honoring Voice

By Pixie Lighthouse

"Ritual and prayer can offer a foundation of steadiness in turbulent times. This book has prayers that ground us in the sacredness of life. It opens our hearts with gratitude for the everything that we may take for granted and helps us to illuminate an expanded vision that honors all parts of life."

Recommended by Tracee Stanley

Buy Prayers and Honoring Voice now.

Peace is Every Step

By Thich Nhat Hanh

"I turn to Thich Nhat Hanh. About ten years ago, a friend from work introduced me to his teachings when she gave me his book Peace is Every Step as a gift. It still means so much to me. Thich Nhat Hanh's poetic writing and short readings bring beautiful, childlike imagery into my mind and system, and help me learn to stay present and calm for myself and for others. He has written many helpful books, including No Mud No Lotus. I always feel consoled by his words, especially understanding his own life history, his peaceful activism during war that required such patience through difficulty, his presence in the home in himself while he built a home around him and inspired others."

Recommended by Rina Deshpande

Buy Peace is Every Step now.

Great Swan

By Lex Hixon

"This is a beautiful book about what it was like to be around the great Indian master, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. It's organized as descriptions of actual encounters. It absolutely drips with love and has a powerful transmission."

Recommended by Sally Kempton

Buy Great Swan now.

Caraval

By Stephanie Garber

"I just finished Stephanie Garber’s Caraval and loved it. Dark times calls for magical escapism and permission to find joy wherever we can. This book (one of a trilogy) delivers."

Recommended by Kathryn Budig. (Budig just launched her own book club on Instagram @theinkyphoenix)

Buy Caraval now.

The Alchemist

By Paolo Coelho

"I am rereading this masterpiece because it is a story of a challenging and spiritually fortifying journey. The protagonist's desire and passion for new experiences, no matter how hard or difficult, ultimately result in his awakening through his accepted fate."

Recommended by Pamela Stokes Eggleston

Buy The Alchemist now.

We independently source all of the products that we feature on yogajournal.com. If you buy from the links on our site, we may receive an affiliate commission, which in turn supports our work.

0 notes

cedarrrun · 4 years

Link

Yoga teachers recommend their most treasured books to help brighten your days while hunkering down.

Catch up on your reading during quarantine.

See also How to Make Space for Your Passion Project During the Shutdown

Altered Traits: Science Reveals how Meditation Changes your Mind, Brain, and Body

By Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson

Recommended by Kiley Holliday

Buy Altered Traits now.

Yoga and the Quest for the True Self

By Stephen Cope

Recommended by Erica Mather

Buy Yoga and The Quest for the True Self now.

The Radiance Sutras

By Dr. Lorin Roche

Recommended by Coby Kozlowski, author of One Degree Revolution: How the Wisdom of Yoga Inspires Small Shifts That Lead to Big Changes

Buy Radiance Sutras now.

Welcoming the Unwelcome

By Pema Chödrön

“I love Pema. I hear her voice in my head all the time. She constantly says to me ‘Sukhraj, you are the sky, everything else is just the weather. Turn and face it, walk right into the center of all your feeling right now and know none of it has be any different than it is right now–be compassionate with yourself.’ I'm reading her current book Welcoming the Unwelcome. In Chapter 18, Welcoming the Unwelcome with Laughter, she says "Humor lightens up the spiritual path and prevents it from becoming a drag. It gives us the openness to go deeper into the teachings, rather than become fixated on what we think they mean.” I see these current events giving all of us an incredible opportunity to connect more to our spirit and all spirits. This is not done by thinking, and laughter is one of the best ways to bypass thinking and simply feel connected to whomever you're laughing with. For me, everything Pema writes about can easily be traced back to a yogic teaching. Her explanations are so simple and easily translate into my daily life.”

Recommended by Sukhraj Gipple

Buy Welcoming the Unwelcome now.

Yoga Biomechanics: Stretching Redefined

By Jules Mitchell

Recommended by Laurel Beversdorf

Buy Yoga Biomechanics now.

Skill In Action: Radicalizing Your Yoga Practice to Create a Just World

By Michelle C. Johnson

Recommended by Amber Karnes

Buy Skill in Action now.

Prayers and Honoring Voice

By Pixie Lighthouse

Recommended by Tracee Stanley

Buy Prayers and Honoring Voice now.

Peace is Every Step

By Thich Nhat Hanh

Recommended by Rina Deshpande

Buy Peace is Every Step now.

Great Swan

By Lex Hixon

Recommended by Sally Kempton

Buy Great Swan now.

Caraval

By Stephanie Garber

"I just finished Stephanie Garber’s Caraval and loved it. Dark times calls for magical escapism and permission to find joy wherever we can. This book (one of a trilogy) delivers."

Recommended by Kathryn Budig. (Budig just launched her own book club on Instagram @theinkyphoenix)

Buy Caraval now.

The Alchemist

By Paolo Coelho

Recommended by Pamela Stokes Eggleston

Buy The Alchemist now.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

0 notes

krisiunicornio · 4 years

Link

Yoga teachers recommend their most treasured books to help brighten your days while hunkering down.

Catch up on your reading during quarantine.

See also How to Make Space for Your Passion Project During the Shutdown

Altered Traits: Science Reveals how Meditation Changes your Mind, Brain, and Body

By Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson

Recommended by Kiley Holliday

Buy Altered Traits now.

Yoga and the Quest for the True Self

By Stephen Cope

Recommended by Erica Mather

Buy Yoga and The Quest for the True Self now.

The Radiance Sutras

By Dr. Lorin Roche

Recommended by Coby Kozlowski, author of One Degree Revolution: How the Wisdom of Yoga Inspires Small Shifts That Lead to Big Changes

Buy Radiance Sutras now.

Welcoming the Unwelcome

By Pema Chödrön

Recommended by Sukhraj Gipple

Buy Welcoming the Unwelcome now.

Yoga Biomechanics: Stretching Redefined

By Jules Mitchell

Recommended by Laurel Beversdorf

Buy Yoga Biomechanics now.

Skill In Action: Radicalizing Your Yoga Practice to Create a Just World

By Michelle C. Johnson

Recommended by Amber Karnes

Buy Skill in Action now.

Prayers and Honoring Voice

By Pixie Lighthouse

Recommended by Tracee Stanley

Buy Prayers and Honoring Voice now.

Peace is Every Step

By Thich Nhat Hanh

Recommended by Rina Deshpande

Buy Peace is Every Step now.

Great Swan

By Lex Hixon

Recommended by Sally Kempton

Buy Great Swan now.

Caraval

By Stephanie Garber

"I just finished Stephanie Garber’s Caraval and loved it. Dark times calls for magical escapism and permission to find joy wherever we can. This book (one of a trilogy) delivers."

Recommended by Kathryn Budig. (Budig just launched her own book club on Instagram @theinkyphoenix)

Buy Caraval now.

The Alchemist

By Paolo Coelho

Recommended by Pamela Stokes Eggleston

Buy The Alchemist now.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

0 notes

mastcomm · 4 years

Text

Is Cold Brew Better Than Iced Coffee?

Around this time in July — when our ever-shortening spring weather takes a sharp right into the damp, hot depths of summer — coffee drinkers are confronted with a morning-altering decision: switch to iced coffee to combat the oppressive weather, or commit to hot coffee as a kind of bold, unnecessarily masochistic act?

Those who prefer their summer over ice have also grown accustomed to another question: regular or cold brew?

If you’re unfamiliar with the difference, think of cold brew as traditional iced coffee’s unhurried fraternal twin. Cold brew can’t go a day without a long, luxurious bath, while iced coffee can barely swing a quick shower; cold brew has read “The Goldfinch” (and is planning on a reread before the movie is released later this summer), but iced coffee unfortunately never had the time — what with work and the kids — though it has seen the trailer on mute.

Once found primarily in the trendiest coffee shops and kitchens of adventurous home baristas, cold brew iced coffee has become a year-round staple. Chains like Starbucks and Dunkin’ have added the drink to their permanent menus. Cold brew makers like Rise, High Brew, La Colombe stock cans in major grocery stores. And at-home brewing kit companies have helped popularize D.I.Y. methods.

Rich Nieto, owner of Sweetleaf Coffee Roasters in Greenpoint, said that cold brew has become so popular in recent years that it now outsells iced coffee in all but one of the company’s four locations. Still, even the most passionate cold-coffee drinkers have questions about their chosen beverage: Is there really less acid in cold brew? Will drinking it in the afternoon keep me up at night? Should I just make it at home? The good news is, we have answers.

What’s the difference between cold brew and iced coffee?

Both drinks are made from the same pair of magical, everyday ingredients — they’re just combined at different temperatures. Water heated to around 200 degrees Fahrenheit (about 93 degrees Celsius) and poured over the grounds will extract all of coffee’s most pleasurable essences in a matter of minutes. When cooled and poured over ice, you have a standard iced coffee. If the brewing water is room temperature, it must canoodle with the coffee grounds for much longer, anywhere from 12 to 24 hours, to produce a cup of joe worth sipping, but the resulting beverage contains coffee’s most sought after qualities — flavor and caffeine — without the bitterness found in one brewed hot.

Does cold brew coffee really have less acid?

My husband recently had an endoscopy that revealed an anomalous patch of stomach tissue on the wall of his esophagus which had been exacerbating his acid reflux. His doctor informed us both that he should try to cut down on spicy food, alcohol and coffee. The first category would be easy, he assured me. The second? Achievable. But the third? Utterly impossible.

Dr. Rabia A. De Latour, a gastroenterologist and assistant professor of medicine at NYU Langone Health, said that it was a common sentiment, and that people who are “exquisitely sensitive” to caffeinated or acidic foods, and those suffering from gastroesophageal reflux disease, or GERD, would benefit from switching to cold brew if they cannot eliminate caffeine from their morning routine. “We recommend they cut out coffee completely,” said Dr. De Latour. But for everyone else, the difference between cold brew and iced coffee is negligible.

“I’ve seen this statistic a lot,” she said in reference to a oft-quoted claim that cold brew is 70 percent less acidic than regular iced coffee. “But I don’t see any scientific data to support this claim,” directing me to a study that shows “comparable” pH values from cold- and hot-brew samples, “ranging from 4.85 to 5.13.” For comparison’s sake, the stomach’s pH hovers somewhere between 1.5 and 3.5.

Does cold-brewed coffee have more caffeine?

Wading through the world of cold brew coffee can be a brutal game of trial and error. Thanks to the wide range of brewing methods, the difference in caffeine content among cold brews is considerably harder to predict than the amount of acid. After brewing for 20 hours, 16 ounces of cold brew at Starbucks contains 200 milligrams of caffeine (12 milligrams per ounce). While that’s about 20 percent higher than their iced coffee, which clocks in at 165 milligrams (10 milligrams per ounce), it’s considerably lower than the same amount of hot coffee, which has 310 milligrams (20 milligrams per ounce). Coffee from Dunkin’ reports similar numbers, with 10.8 milligrams in every ounce of cold brew.

But when you wade into more specialty waters, especially among prepackaged brands, the caffeine content is far from predictable. Canned cold brew brands Rise and High Brew have nearly identical packaging, but grabbing the wrong one could cost you. Rise’s original flavor contains 180 milligrams in its 7-ounce can (25 milligrams per ounce), which is anywhere from 30-50 milligrams more caffeine than what’s found in High Brew’s 8-ounce can. Stumptown, a roaster based in Portland, Ore., sells cold brew in 10.5-ounce bottles that contain a whopping 29.4 milligrams of caffeine per ounce. To a caffeine addict like myself, that number sounds lovely. But to the uninitiated looking to give cold brew a shot, it’s a recipe for disaster.

“A lot of people will not tolerate that amount of caffeine,” Dr. De Latour said. “Some people’s GERD is worsened by coffee because of the caffeine content and its impact on the sphincter muscles,” adding that high amounts found in some cold brews can make people feel quite sick, with symptoms like jitters, peristalsis of the bowels, diarrhea or even increased anxiety and stress. She then reminded me that it is, after all, a stimulant.

So that leaves us with cold brew prepared at home, a great option for those looking for more control when it comes to caffeine and acidity. The New York Times’s own recipe calls for just 12 hours of brewing. Similar recipes can be found across the internet, and all are easy to adjust in order to find the balance that works for your own stomach and pocketbook. A happy medium can be found in store-bought cold brew concentrates. These brews are meant to be diluted, so if you find it too strong, just add water or milk. Not strong enough? You get the idea.

In January, I approached the counter of Starbucks at an airport after waiting alongside an amorphous line of fellow uncaffeinated travelers for half an hour and, relieved to have made it there without collapsing, ordered a large cold brew iced coffee. I even used “venti” — the Italian word for 20, as in the number of ounces it contains — when requesting the large size, even though Italians use the metric system. But my commitment to the chain’s conceptually unsound ordering language did not bear fruit, as I was told by the barista that they had just run out of cold brew. All they had left was standard iced coffee, meaning hot brew served over ice. Out of other options and surrounded by more long lines, I grudgingly accepted. It wasn’t cold brew, but it was coffee. And that’s usually enough.

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/business/is-cold-brew-better-than-iced-coffee-2/

#Business

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borisherrmann · 6 years

Text

Episode 10: Thermogenic Supplements for Fat Burning

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This podcast is brought to you by HydroxyBurn Shred.

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Show Notes

The Palaeolithic diet and cardiometabolic syndrome: Can an ancient diet be the way of the future? https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2212958818300144

Can omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids improve metabolic profile in polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)? https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2212958817301179

Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR): Mythology or polymorphism(ology)? https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2212958817300058

Can methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) polymorphisms increase the risk of chronic disease, such as non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD)?https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2212958817300125

The effect of omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids on fibrin and thrombin generation in healthy subjects and subjects with cardiovascular disease https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25703517

Effects of omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids on platelet function in healthy subjects and subjects with cardiovascular disease https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23329646

The influence of diet and nutrients on platelet function https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24497119

The influence of herbal medicine on platelet function and coagulation: a narrative review https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25839871

Comment on “Danshen and the Cardiovascular System: New Advances for an Old Remedy” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26951503

Effect of omega-3 fish oil on cardiovascular risk in diabetes https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20534874

Diurnal changes and levels of fibrin generation are not altered by continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) in obstructive sleep apnoea (OSA). A randomised, placebo-controlled crossover study https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22334531

Effects of continuous positive airway pressure on coagulability in obstructive sleep apnoea: a randomised, placebo-controlled crossover study https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22334531

Podcast Transcript

Greg: Hi, welcome to the Body Science podcast where it’s all about being fit, happy and healthy. Today we have a very exciting co-host Dr. Brad McEwen, he’s a nutrition expert, naturopath, herbalist, educator researcher and mentor with over 19 years of clinical experience. Dr. Brad has a PhD from the University of Sydney, a masters of Health Science in human nutrition from Deakin and among his other qualifications include neuropathy, is that the right way to say it?

Dr. Brad: That’s it yeah.

Greg: And sports medicine. He’s got a real passion for teaching and educating and has been working with our sales team a fair bit in that capacity recently which has seen our very excited, look with over 15 years of experience some of the things that have happened on the way and I just need to take a breath and reread this because this goes on. Brad received the urban hard Mamun Young Investigator award that was?

Dr. Brad: Yes, that’s exactly right.

Greg: From bases hemostasis?

Dr. Brad: Bases hemostasis and its very big award, it’s an international award to affirm research and education. And one of the exciting things is people from Princeton, and throughout Europe have won this award. So not many people from Australia so, I felt very excited,

Greg: Going to clap that one in?

Dr. Brad: Yeah so, it’s really exciting work.

Greg: I have to cut you off there because I’m only half way through. You’ve also received an Excellence in practice lecturer for research of the year for the Dorothy Hall Memorial Award, did I say that right for the advancement of natural medicine in Australia?

Dr. Brad: Yep

Greg: That’s huge, this year was finalists for practitioner of the year in 2017 what does that mean?

Dr. Brad: So, practitioner as I’m a naturopath nutritionist and herbalist so you get nominated from the work that you do we are coping with patients and you know in the public as well so, it’s quite exciting to be nominated. And last years also nominated for lecturer of the year as well.

Greg: You are a busy man.

Dr. Brad: Yeah, I’m busy I’m very passionate I love what I’m doing so you just keep moving forward it’s exciting times.

Greg: So, let’s talk about some of your peer review and your journals, you’ve been so you touched areas of diet, nutrition, cardiovascular health, type 2 diabetes, there’s a whole lot of words here that I can’t even pronounce.

Dr. Brad: That’s right so I have a wide range of different interests one of course the sports medicine sports nutrition, so we’re going to talk about today. As well as you know cutting metabolic syndrome which is all related to like blood glucose regulation and metabolism that’s a very big topic and we’ll be covering that too. And it’s sort of all these things relate to not just general health but optimising health getting the best out of everything each day.

Greg: Love it so, today I’m around the topic of optimising health. I’m going to throw a little curveball at you I’d like to chat today about Thermogenics, is it for you, why do people take them who should take them you know?

Thermogenics are a massive category in sports nutrition is you’d be aware of. There’s a left and right side of defense-type to Thermogenics out there as well which will not worry too much about delving into what other people are doing but we’ll talk about we’re doing and obvious the product we make is called HydroxyBurn shred.

So, do you want to talk about the formula?

Dr. Brad: Yeah that would be great. Firstly, you know when we’re looking for some kind of thermogenic what is a thermogenic? So, looking at the name of it, it just means genesis of heat, if you look at it that way. But when we’re looking at sports nutrition and performance and the everyday warrior kind of effect the thermogenesis is also building up metabolism activity you know sustainability getting to the end of the day and not feeling as tired, that’s the kind of things that thermogenesis works with as well. It’s that building up that metabolism. And when looking for a combination of you know different herbs and nutrients, one thing to look for is the quality of the formula, but also looking at the synergy of the formula.

Greg: Yeah nice.

Dr. Brad: So, it’s a synergy you can have a lot you can have a really nice formula and you look at it and go what’s doing, you know what is this formula trying to do they’re just throwing in a thousand things. And looks on the label and a milligram of each or something like that, it’s not therapeutic it’s not therapeutically designed in any fashion.

Greg: Okay.

Dr. Brad: So, yeah, we are looking at HydroxyBurn Shred like you said great product, we are very excited with this one over the years so it’s very good. One of the first ones I do look for as an ingredients garcinia, and it’s had its ebbs and flows, it’s been on tv shows the last couple of years has been on some TV shows and blogs and stuffs like

Greg: Famous doctor in America who pulled garcinia into the world.

Dr. Brad: Yeah, yeah and highlight. And the exciting thing is I first worked in a health food store back in 1992, back in the olden days. And though they didn’t have garcinia but they had hydroxycitric acid. That does from the brindle berry at the time. So, garcinia is more of a potent form of the hydroxycitric acid. And the way how this works as it builds up the metabolism, thermogenesis, works with appetite suppression but, you will still eat but just not as much. It’s not like that pharmaceutical kind as well as you know working on the energetic pathways. So particularly fatty acid metabolism. And if you combine that with you know a good diet of carnitine, it’s that combination like I was saying synergy it’s that flow of the formula and looking at you know the dosage of you know acetyl l carnitine there’s four grams a day that’s a good dose, a good dose.

Greg: It’s one of the highest in the industry and I don’t think a lot of people actually understand what a clinical dose is.

Dr. Brad: And that’s the tricky thing, when you look at therapeutics and clinical dose versus something is just written on the label people get mixed up very easily. So, in this case if we’re looking at a therapeutic formula a clinical kind of dose, we need to look around the four grams a day because you’re going to get the results. And the way how this works going to talk about a biochemistry is in the body have like a Krebs cycle and the way I see that it’s like a big turbine on a plane. And it actually has a site I want to imagine it spin it. When that turbine slows down the machinery of the cell slows down you get tired overall, muscle gets tired, the body feels tired your mind gets tired and then overall you just feel you know really tired and fatigued. What acetyl l carnitine does it pretty much picks up the fats your fatty acids and drives it into the Krebs cycle, for is something they called beta oxidation. So, it’s like a side thing shadows are through most people look at you know glycolysis is a form of energy so, you’re just breaking down carbohydrates and glucose. On the side chain of that you’re breaking down fats and that’s part of your thermogenesis as well as your energetics. And this will give you your long-term stamina and endurance burning off the fats. And if anyone’s using this to shred to lose some weight etc. and look good you know you need to be able to pick up those fats and utilise them more effectively and that’s where acetyl l carnitine comes in versus normal carnitine.

So, the normal carnitine if I can call it that, does a good job, acetyl carnitine drives it in faster and does a much better job at doing it. It also works with the mental side as we’re discussing earlier you know before the show. It’s a memory concentration and focus. So, when you’re training you’re working out and you may be in you know the Olympics, or comm games or some other event you want to be able to have that focus and drive and you’re go for gold, you know what I mean. And things like carnitine, acetyl carnitine particularly, gain that focus, gain that drive and drive it forward and your body follows. So, you can have the big heart and a good mind for it, the focus and then the body follows and you get through it. Fast recovery too.

Greg: Oh, to win too, fast recovery.

Dr. Brad: Fast recovery because it’s allowing you to sort of pick up the leftover fats that’s in the bloodstream after the workout or after the event and you can burn that off so you get a better recovery.

Greg: Other things we do look at is caffeine

Dr. Brad: Mm-hmm so got some caffeine right here for everyone to the headache a bit of caffeine each and way, how caffeine yes does work as a stimulant which is what everyone knows. But it’s also an antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, there’s a lot of work with vascular blood flow. So that’s what a vasodilator is what it’s called so it opens up the arteries and veins get a circulation running more effectively. So, by doing that you can actually get these herbs nutrients to the target tissue faster, shovel it on get it in there faster. And caffeine yeah again it’s a mental stimulant so again it’s that focus and drive. And the best thing about this we’re getting a very good therapeutic dose it’s a perfect way to do it and it’s not going to give you the jitters. Like you feel to have a couple of coffees you get that sort of weird jittery feeling, these kind of with this product particularly I haven’t seen that with anyone okay and I’ve never seen that. So, to me as I said it’s a synergy, it’s a formula and then we’ve got other elements in there as well and we’ll go through a lot more detail as well because I’ve it’s quite a great formula. Is we’re looking at tyrosine.

Greg: Tyrosine has really become quite popular in the last couple of years in sports nutrition so what do you think that is?

Dr. Brad: So, I think tyrosine is mainly used for like thyroid function so metabolism and which is true so what it does I want you to imagine your thyroid hormone. And as part of it you have a backbone which is a tyrosine then you have your iodine is attached. There’s something called t4 which is your normal form of thyroid hormone for iodine’s, then you have your t3 which is three iodine’s. And as part of that process and when you have a good nutrient flow particularly combine it with other formulas so we’re looking at companion products here you’re able to increase your metabolic rate, general metabolism. And a lot of people these days they feel tired, weak, sluggish they drag themselves out of bed the whole energy pathway systems sluggish, it’s just modern life you know. And if you combine it with again acetyl carnitine and other nutrients, you can stimulate that flow again get that energetic pathway up and running and the other thing at tyrosine does it works down different pathways for serotonin, melatonin. So, we’re looking at the feel-good stuff.

Greg: Yeah you got to feel good.

Dr. Brad: You have to feel good, you have to you know you have that drive and focus going. But also, as part of that you work with your daily rhythm. So, people think everything circadian rhythm, yes, we all hear about that but there’s also something called diurnal rhythm and that’s our day/night, hot, cold, it’s our everyday rhythm. Circadian rhythm is good because it’s 24 hours a day but at the right temperature everything doesn’t change it’s stable. But I don’t know about you that the world changes every day,

Greg: Every minute.

Dr. Brad: Every minute it’s changing. So, therefore if you regulate your diurnal pattern and its tyrosine is one of the nutrients for this, even acetyl l carnitine, caffeine works with it as well. So, some people and I have a little bit of caffeine before bed and you think also keep you awake and it’s like no because it actually gets into the system they say nourishes the system and when I wake up in the morning I’m firing.

Greg: Yeah okay.

Dr. Brad: So, it’s a combo kind of effect there. In this case here the tyrosine, serotonin, melatonin working with a thyroid hormone, so its metabolism but also to feel good. So, you are not on edge. It’s the perfect thing about it.

Greg: Well that’s good, is it, do you think it’s important to have the emotion and the mood pathways is that the word you use before?

Dr. Brad: Pathway yes.

Greg: Associated with a thermogenic?

Dr. Brad: I think so because the reason being is we always hear about the mind-body-spirit. You know what I mean, there’s a lot of people talk about that or mental emotional physical and some people think of it as a little bizarre. Do you know what I mean? But I see as a whole and if you work on one part the rest of the body can follow effectively. So, if you can work on the mind/body/spirit, the mental physical, emotional, balance everything out perfectly you get better focus, better drive you’re moving forward in life. And like I said earlier is if you’re a weekend warrior, Olympic athlete or you know or just do a little bit of training just for physical health and well-being you know what I mean. The idea is if you actually maintain overall good health it’s a perfect way to do it. Better recovery, better stamina endurance and the benefit for this as well is it could be a high-level executive sitting in your office all day none of this nine-to-five, you’re in the office at 7:00 you’re leaving at 7:00 a.m. leaving at 8:00 p.m. like you’re working hard and you don’t get time to work out physically but you’re working out mentally. You’re doing a lot of work that way, this kind of combination would help that as well.

Greg: Okay so you would use this thermogenic HydroxyBurn Shred on, non-training days as well.

Dr. Brad: Yes, you can, yeah, I have full faith in the product that way to do it. Some people just do it on training days yeah like where we’re going but to me perfect you can do that but when you think about it if you are a high-level executive every day is a training day.

Greg: Yeah exactly.

Dr. Brad: It’s a different way of thinking so in that case take it you know some people may take it breakfast and lunch, so split the dose so that’s you’re for example two and a half Garcinia breakfast and lunch we’ll just five on one go you know and some people just take it beginning of the day

Greg: So, here’s a big question everybody wants to know, because obviously on the label we say can be used as a pre-workout so take the day dose once and take it once a day or you can split it before breakfast before lunch or as you just said some people can take tolerate caffeine at night and sleep beautifully. So, how would you, I throw a couple of scenarios at you

Dr. Brad: Perfect.

Greg: We’ve got a young female, 20s, training a couple of days a week, you know wanted to lose a bit of weight feel good about themselves coming to summer how would you have them take this product?

Dr. Brad: So, they want to feel toned and terrific?

Greg: Toned and terrific

Dr. Brad: Toned and terrific perfect. So, the advice if they came to see me, so I’m their practitioner they came to see me I’d be doing it every day, not just on their training days because that way you get the energetics of the person up and running, they feel good, they get more motivation, more drive and focus. And by doing that you feel good but, also you able to achieve more, you get more done in that day and if you maintain the consistency that’s the main thing maintain the consistency, you know we’re heading into that time point toned and terrific. So, perfect issue.

Greg: So, would you have them taking morning and lunch or one in the morning before training or how would you have that person take that?

Dr. Brad: That’s good question. What I would do is on if they’re training in the morning I’d do the double, do it that way and on their off days one before breakfast one before lunch. So, I know sometimes people might forget you know which way to do it just take it and I say once they get into the rhythm literally a week of doing it it’s automatic now. So, training days do the full dose or the double dose in this case, do it before what do you recommend about thirty minutes

Greg: Yeah, we push thirty minutes like that.

Dr. Brad: Thirty minutes is perfect industry-standard.

Greg: Okay second person like while we’re picking brains here we won’t touch the executive right now but I’ve got a 40-year-old bricklayer. How would you have them take the product?

Dr. Brad: And sometimes people have a bit of a joke about a 40-year-old brick layer as well why they doing just laid bricks there’s actually a lot of work.

Greg: That’s an eight-hour workout.

Dr. Brad: It’s eight-hour workout five days a week, so it’s full-on heavy but it’s also accuracy and focus because you have to, it sounds funny just laying bricks but you’re no, you’re building something that’s the thing you’re building something. So, you actually laying down these bricks making sure the concrete’s lay it out the bricks are evenly spaced just for the aesthetic look. But also, for the structure, the structure has to be perfect as well and has to last. So, it’s actually a lot of pressure, a lot of mental acuity lining it all up and a lot of physical work doing it. So, for them and also heading towards one whether they’re going to be sweating as well we’re even during winter because they’re physically active eight hours a day like what you’re saying. So, for me I’ll be doing before breakfast I’ll be suggesting it before lunch. Because that way gives them that sort of longer soild eight-hour workout effect better recovery at the end of the day. And I’ve even had some people take an extra one later on.

Greg: You can say that because you have a clinical practice. We have label requirements; it does say or as advised by your health care professional your professional so guys get on board. So, let’s now talk about some you know this new generation of 50-year-olds, that are training, loving life the kids have moved out if they’re lucky.

Dr. Brad: If they are lucky.

Greg: They starting to a lot more functional style training you know people challenge what does that mean I’m what I’m talking about it they’re not bodybuilding specifically they’re just moving their bones, trying to get their heart rate up trying to work well. How would somebody apply HydroxyBurn Shred to their lifestyle? Like obviously the word HydroxyBurn Shred doesn’t sound like gee that’s a health and wellness product. I need to get that into my life at this age but you know 50s the new 30, so how are we talking to someone in that age group to take this product ? Why would they take this product?

Dr. Brad: Well these are all good questions because this is something that’s going for their mind. So, they go into a health food store or wherever they’re going to, and they’re saying like you said I’m becoming physically active, I’m in the next phase of my life. So, I’m going to the beach or going for walks doing light or heavy gym work doesn’t matter what it is and I want better recovery I want better endurance and I just want to get through the day better and get more out of it and as well and feel healthier because I’m in the next phase they may be worried about you know chronic diseases etc. Because that’s why they become a more physically active to sort of stave that away. In this case with this kind of formula it is workable, there’s no problem unless they have a physical health condition they don’t need to go and see their doctor about always check with the doctor. But the thing is, the combination and nutrients in his formula like we’re saying earlier it’s mood, energetics, recovery stamina, endurance. So, the idea behind this is going to help their mental acuity so if they’re worrying about you know cognition issues later on like they’re doing crosswords it’s taken me longer or something else like that, this kind of formula going back to acetyl carnitine, the tyrosine those metabolic boosters are going to allow that focus and drive.

Greg: So, it extends way past the actual training session?

Dr. Brad: Way past. Now this formula has numerous applications much more we’ve got time for to talk about today you know I mean but, it has multiple uses. And yeah you could be University student like was saying earlier you know before the for the podcast, we got the 50s, you got the 41-year-old bricklayer you know you got all these different people and these are all different groups of people with all different needs. And then these may be more physical, more emotional, and more you know mental and the way how the synergism of this formula works, it’s the companionship of the molecules or the nutrients in there that makes a difference. So, the formulation itself and by combining it this way you have greater application and then sustain results as well that’s the exciting thing about it.

Greg: Okay, Thermogenics everywhere let’s talk about manufacturing standards and what should people look for when they’re going to buy a thermogenic at a retail store?

Dr. Brad: So, one of the main things to look at is you know how the labels laid out, is a nice and clean easy to read. It’s one of the first things you do. And then in Australia particularly we have very strict good manufacturing practice as what it’s called. So, they’re looking at the safety the quality and one of the big issues we’re looking at of course is stability. Stability is a very big thing and a lot of products get tested you know every three months from the moment it’s manufactured from baseline 3 6 8 etc.

Greg: And you are talking about a therapeutic product?

Dr. Brad: Therapeutic products and where that’s listed with is the Therapeutic Goods Administration or the TGA is we’ve referred to it and this is an Australian government body that has listed medicines. And listed medicines had very strict you know guidelines of how they’re manufactured, how they’re stored, how they’re tested for stability so after two years of manufacture they have to still have exactly what was in it when it was first manufactured.

Greg: Made label claim expiry date.

Dr. Brad: Made label claim expiry date, versus food products. So, food products of course have some kind of safety and quality because we’re consuming it but, the level verses are listed medicine for a therapeutic list of medicine is not the same.

Greg: So, what should people be looking for when they want to find a therapeutic product?

Dr. Brad: Very good question. So, when you’re looking for a therapeutic product one will normally have something similar to that things set on there you know therapeutically formulated but, then on the front panel its normally has something what they call an OSI. So, it’s Australian listing number and that means it’s a listed medicine versus a food, this is again the stringent detail there and it has a code number there. And that code number stays with the life of that product and that way it’s been tested for safety, quality and stability over time.

Greg: And that’s a big thing stability. You have no idea what you put in your mouth sometimes

Dr. Brad: That’s it and it comes down to you know what you get what you pay for you know that I’m saying and now that’s what it means you give you pay for. So, you pay money on the product and you’re checking it you’re reading it and you want to make sure that it has you know 2.5 grams of garcinia per serve for example. And in this case, it has that.

Greg: A lot of brands don’t even tell you what they’ve got in there.

Dr. Brad: And that’s a tricky thing and that’s where they haven’t gone through possibly the same safety quality checks of course it’s not listed Medicine. So, in that case you know for me I like to know what I’m getting and also like to know that if I buy today and I’m taking it next month from the month after, like I’m not taking it as prescribed, it’s a bit lazy or something.

Greg: Might have all three at once

Dr. Brad: I might have bought a three deal. Yeah and in that case, you want to make sure that you know in three months’ time for example the stability is showing that it’s exactly what’s in there is what is in there at that time point all out to past expiring in some companies, so good quality stuff.

Greg: Fantastic well HydroxyBurn Shred is a listed medicine is that the correct wording that you like to use when you talk about or sell products?

Dr. Brad: Perfect listed medicine.

Greg: So, people shouldn’t be afraid to go and ask for a listed medicine or how would you ask your naturopath? How would you ask your retailer if you want a therapeutic versus a food Sample?

Dr. Brad: So , what you do , you go in to the retailer and you say look I’m after a good quality list of Medicine you know HydroxyBurn Shred in this case or to be tone and terrific you know and you want quality and safety also the safety is the other word I want to emphasize as well because it’s the safety knowing what’s in there is what’s in there and the doses are correct.

Greg: Yeah, it’s the quality. So, you walk in there and say I’m after a therapeutic formula that’s a listed medicine, where we go fantastic. I mean you’re talking about safety you’re not talking about gee it’s safe to take you’re talking about what’s on the label is in the product so that’s what makes it safe what you’re reading is what you’re getting.

Dr. Brad: What you’re reading is what you’re getting so good point actually there’s two points to that is

Greg: We don’t want people to think it’s soft because it’s safe.

Dr. Brad: That’s right it’s and that’s a thing that I hear from time to time oh it’s a soft product because it’s safe and its blah, blah, blah, like don’t know where you come from you know what I mean? This is actually for me when I’m looking at a product this is higher quality. Safe is good you want to be safe but also, I now know this product is high quality it has what I’m looking for I can read the label and it has exactly what’s in it

Greg: And those actives that are in there until expiry date.

Dr. Brad: That’s right and it’s been tested safety and quality. And you know what you’re getting so and that’s the exciting thing about it. So, in Australia the standards are very, very high and highest in the world we actually have a lot of countries look at our standards

Greg: It’s fantastic too we should be proud of that.

Dr. Brad: We’re very proud of it.

Greg: Fantastic, that’s exciting. So, Dr. Brad we might wrap that one up here, I can you tell us how do we contact you if we want to come and see you, if do you do private consultation anymore or you more

Dr. Brad: I work a lot more in our educational research field and manufacturing, and I’m not taking on any extra patients at the moment.

Greg: I’m sorry everyone you can’t reach out but you can probably we’ll put some of your published research up would that be a problem?

Dr. Brad: That’s all good with me.

Greg: Fantastic, thanks so much for your time today really appreciate you on board. We are going to get you back next week to talk about some other products I enjoyed that.

Dr. Brad: Alright thank you.

Episode 10: Thermogenic Supplements for Fat Burning published first on http://www.bodyscience.com.au/

#Body Science #Body Science Podcast #Fat Loss #fitness

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bodyscienceau · 6 years