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jaynovz · 2 years

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One Foot in the Fade commentary, pt4, spoilers

The interrogation 😮😮 I am in love with Khay, I need fanart of her immediately. Please step on me ma'am. 😳 She might actually be my second favorite character

"Close your eyes," I said. She did, and I blew a puff of air over her face to clear the dust away.

"Thanks," she whispered. "I'm really, really glad it wasn't the other kind of waste."

She opened her eyes. Only inches away.

"You all right?" I asked.

"I think so. How does it look?"

"Not like it'll kill ya."

"What a shame. You almost got yourself out of this mess at the last second." She gave a little smirk. "Weird to see your face this close. I'm used to staring at the back of your head."

I tried on a smirk myself. "That's my better angle anyway."

She laughed, and her big eyes gave that owl a run for its money.

"This side ain't so bad."

She stared at me for a while to watch the words sink in, then shook the dirt from her shoulders. Once she'd emptied the debris from her hood and pulled it back over her head, she tapped the side of my body like I was a horse she was coaxing into a canter.

"Up you pop. Your hard head can handle more hits than mine."

OH MY GOD THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. Fetch and Khay are qpp and no I will not be taking questions. It's going to end horribly and it doesn't matter that I know that I'm still not going to be ready

So much of this is a dnd campaign and I *love* it

General shout out again to the world building and the setting description and just... it's intense and amazing

Genuinely you could turn this into a D&D campaign. I bet he has notes and notes and notes on all of this. Probably just pages upon pages, because he is such a fucking nerd (affectionate)

After listening to it for so long,I think that Khay is the most soothing relaxing voice that he does and I love it to death. It might be my second favorite voice. Fetch is obviously the first favorite

Can we just go back to when I was fantasizing about Fetch between a werewolf and a genie instead of where we are climbing up the trash chute?

Lmao that's not the type of "man for hire sandwich" I was thinking of

LINDA!!!

Poor Fetch once again getting triggered as fuck by faerie corpses

Oh shit bro we got a whole damn pool of magic

Oh shit bro the plot it do be thickening

This just in Fetch is fighting The Rancor aka the Minotaur

The amount of action/fight blocking he has done in this book is really intense. They're easy to follow, which is harder than you think to write, to make something make sense and be easy to visualize with that many movements. Also narrated fantastically as always

Fetch having some gay thoughts in the middle of this fight about how alike he and Niles are 👀

It's making me Feelings that he's thinking about all of his different friends in the middle of this fight okay. And that all of their advice that he remembers is what helps him win 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺

Thesis of this one is that you shouldn't try to fight alone 😭😭😭😭

The bit about Theo his latest mentor??? oh my God he's in love with that wolf. also that was a hell of a boss fight, that was a whopper of a fucking boss fight. Stunning work

Fetch literally falls in love with everyone he meets 🐶

Poor Theo 😭😭😭

But very sexy of him 🐺

Ahah! I knew the Bridge has something to do with this!

The betrayal

"I have full faith in Khay so I'm not listening to anything they're saying like Khay is my love and of course she only has good intentions and I would do anything for her" --Fetch probably

Jesus Christ this man was in a car accident, survived the first time by the skin of his teeth and was immediately like, "okay let's do that again that was fine." Literally the most dangerous thing ever. He may be thinking himself a little invincible after slaying a Minotaur though

We only stopped when we had to. No roadside taverns. No camps. We napped in the car until I'd rested enough to drive on, then we just kept going. We didn't have a lot to say to each other. No new stories to tell. We'd shared all our most recent memories, and they were still so overwhelming that I couldn't think about anything else.

At first, I worried about the silence. I thought she might be nervous or angry at me. Or bored - which would be worse - like I'd served my purpose. But then she'd comment on the sunset or point excitedly at some wildlife by the side of the road, or just look over and smile, and I'd relax. Relax more than I had in front of anyone in a long time. That's the mark of real friendship, I think: to be the person you are when you're alone, but in front of someone else. Just as free. Just as messy. The kind of friend where you don't have to stress over every little thing you say, because one little fuck-up in front of them won't make them think any worse of you. A single impressive act won't alter things either, because they've seen enough of your failings not to put you on a pedestal. They know you. The "you" beneath the bullshit. For better or worse, you can't impress or disgust them, you can't fool them or delude them, so you have no choice but to drop the act and enjoy the company. I was enjoying it so much that I felt sad when I saw a distant black shape at the end of the road.

Im fuckin crying bro this could be so terrible this is about to end badly

He's crying and so I'm crying

They're have a hooting and hollering good time but all I can hear is Georgio's silence

Khay and Eileen both confirmed bi

"What... what do you...? Why?"

"I agreed to help you help people. That's what you said you wanted to do. Some good, remember? This is not good."

I felt small. Flashbacks to being a kid with scraped knees and rips in my new school uniform, or a hungover teenager returning my adopted father's broken bike; the same shame, and the same panicked desperation to make things right.

"Georgio, this is what we were working towards. Khay can help people now. Really help them." He kept his eyes down, shaking his head. "We went out there to make things better."

"You went to WAR!" He was shaking. I'd never seen him this angry. Hell, I'd barely seen him frustrated. "You left your home to go and murder," he continued, his voice hushed to a chillingly measured tone. "You left your home to steal. You lost a good man and you killed a creature, the likes of which we may never see again."

"I know... I know, but if this works then it will be worth-"

"Nothing is worth this! Nothing. It will only bring more death. This started with death, don't you remember? Your friend." The image of Benjamin's smiling face forced its way into my mind. "There is so much death already, and you only want to make more. I will not help you do that."

My chest burned. I felt like I was about to cry, but I smothered it. If the first sob escaped my lips, a tidal wave would follow. I choked it down. Squashed it. Spoke clear.

"I'm doing what needs to be done, Georgio. I can't just sit back and let the world die. You might enjoy making people breakfast while the world burns, but I'm actually trying to make a difference. I'm sorry you don't want to be a part of that."

It was my cue to storm out, but I missed it. I guess I wanted him to say something else. To start shouting again. To smack some sense into me. Anything but to let me leave.

But he just said: "Go."

And I did.

Oh my fucking god, from where Giorgio and Fetch started and how fucking funny and wholesome it was in Last Smile to this breakup... dude I am inconsolable. also this is the Black Sails finale again "you went to war it's just death and death and death" I can hear Silver

This is going to make me SICK. I knew it was coming from the very beginning but I let myself forget. And I'm gonna LOSE IT

oh no babe ur moving like an herbivore

SIMMS! I love her so much, I love Luke’s lizard voice

"you're under arrest for accessory to murder"

“which one?” oh my god

Panic attack time~~

Love when Fetch gets fucked up by hot women, especially cat ones

this masochist with the electroplay lmao

loveloveloveeee listening to him *snarl* as Fetch, GOD IT’S SEXY

his voice is getting low and sad and it’s hurting me :(((((( :(((((( :(((((

im UPSET IM UPSETTTT IM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS

THIS IS HATEFUL IM HAVING A BAD TIME

“I’d sure as hell tried, hadn’t I?" MOTHERFUCKING LAST SMILE FIRST LINES REPRISE I FUCKIN YELLLINGGGGG

reiterating that guns were a MISTAKE

her voice is still so soothing. this might be the worst, most painful thing Luke’s ever done to me and I read DMIAD okay

WAS THAT A PROPHECY OR A FLASHBACK?? WHAT DOES IT MEAN??

also I keep having to watch Fetch kill ppl he loves and I’m SICK

Okay okay she did it herself. Not much better but not as bad as him having to stab her 🙃🙃🙃

I can hear in Luke’s voice that he is actually tearing up during this part and it is ripping my heart out

Holding her as she fades away... Finally getting to touch skin. This is laser targeted at me

said it before, will say it again, top tier vocal performance

OH THANK FUCK GEORGIO, I WAS HURTING. I’m still hurting but he walked it back

FETCH PHILLIPS, BARISTA

oh my god food as a love language I am FUCKING BAWLING

Okay guys, wow

WHAT A FUCKING ROLLERCOASTER

I am processing. But I think I might like this one the best

Fucking hell

I'm dubious as to whether he's actually going to give up the man for hire thing but... The lesson he learned this book was that small kindnesses make big change and that he doesn't have to go be a hero and slay a beast to help save the world

😭😭😭

No but when he called Richie at the end I fucking burst into tears

Round of applause for Luke and also I'm sending him a wasps nest

#thoughts #ofitf #one foot in the fade spoilers #sunder city verse #luke arnold #fetch phillips #one foot in the fade #fetch phillips archives lb

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badgirlcovenrep · 3 years

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atlas

Alex Chen × Steph Gingrich fluffy comfort one-shot

(I was talking to a friend about the game and we were discussing how Alex is probably still carrying a lot of trauma. And even after everything that happened at the mines we still don't see her really grieve for the whole situation and herself. So- I had to write it, you know?)

Enjoy!

TW: mentions of suicide, death and mental health issues.

It's two months into their relationship now, and they are somewhere in a Californian town, living in a tiny apartment close to the beach. They play together in small venues and underground clubs. Alex bartends and Steph referees for DND campaigns at a nerd bar they found by chance on their first week there.

They're happy. As happy as Alex remembers being since she was- well, maybe nine.

Every day, it's a little like waking up into a dream. Living in an apartment with her first girlfriend, listening to music as they cooked dinner together. Getting to kiss her just because Alex felt like it. Because her heart went a little loopy inside her chest when she smiled. Because she knew Steph would hold on to her waist and make her feel like she was full of electricity.

The 'falling in love' business felt overrated before Steph.

But Being in the middle of it now, Alex doesn't think there's anything better.

Although a part of her still felt quite numb - she guesses it's not something that will go away that easily - and day by day, Alex felt a little bit more like she could breathe... like she was finally letting herself go, at least a little bit.

****

Now that she could comprehend and use her powers, it also seemed as if she'd started to become even more of a magnet for all sorts of emotion around her. And apparently Alex could do it in her sleep too.

The nightmares came in clusters most of the time, a badly cut-together mess of voices and feelings. The lady that lived under them, who lost her son when he was little. The couple from down the street, who were going through a hard time in their relationship. Even the little girl from upstairs, who had terrible night terrors of sharp-teethed monsters reaching from under her bed.

They all mixed inside her head until she woke up gasping for air and sizzling with emotion.

It was rare that she'd have a full dream, one that made sense and completed itself, but when she did they were always about Gabe. About sitting together at the rooftop of the Lantern and sharing a beer. Or climbing trees, like they used to do when they were little.

It was a relief from the usual doom.

And that dream was supposed to be nothing different. Or at least she thought it wasn't.

****

In it, they were at the ravine. A world of twinkling stars shining above their heads. The Colorado mountains all around them creating a landscape that was just as beautiful as it was bittersweet. Alex could see the log she'd crossed, still standing between her and the tiny outcrop of stone Ethan had been stranded on.

She hadn't dreamed of the ravine since leaving Haven Springs, but while she was there, Alex dreamt of it every night. She would see it when her eyes were closed. She could hear it, - the sirens, the terrible, deafening rumble of the ground splitting beneath them. The panic, pounding into her ears.

But this is different. Because when she looks around, Alex realizes she's standing over the elevated plateau, tied to the waist and leaning all her weight against a sturdy piece of rock.

Looking at her from below is Gabe. Lying on the cold ground. A cheesy smile spread across his face.

"Why are we switched?" Alex asks because that's all she can think of asking, as she stares at the rope that anchored her to the ground... to Gabe.

"Beats me. This is all your brain, not mine." He says, and Alex huffs in annoyance, "you know what's going to happen, but you keep coming here."

"I don't have a choice."

"Hmmm..." Gabe hums, but there's some humor in his expression as he stares intently back at her, "and that's exactly why... I'm here because I should say goodbye."

A coldness spreads over Alex's limbs. Around her, the very fabric of the dream dims into darkness as a strong breeze blows past them. She suddenly feels like throwing up.

"What- what does that mean?" It's a stupid question. This is her dream. Alex knows what it means.

Deep down, she knew she'd been conjuring him up for her own sake. Trying to bring back any morsel of relief into the giant hole he'd left inside her heart. However, Alex also knew at some point he'd be gone- she just didn't expect-

"You don't need me anymore, Alex." He says. As if it's that simple. As if she'd ever-

"I'll always need you, Gabe. Of course I need you." The words stumble out of her mouth, and she can feel the hot, angry tears falling down her face.

It feels like a hot iron pressed to the very top of her chest.

Like lava, boiling up into her bloodstream until Alex wants to punch something. The steam that prickles from under her skin, fighting to break free.

Anger always comes first when people feel cornered. It's something she noticed a while back. Out of all the emotions Alex had dealt with the past few months, that, at least, hadn't changed.

"Shit, Gabe. When you died I needed you more than ever."

"But we can't fix that, can we?" He asks, and another wave of anger rips through her. She looks anywhere but him, because Alex feels that if she does, she'll tackle and kill him all over again. But when he says nothing and they're left in the same pocket of silence - the one right before the whole world collapsed - her eyes eventually fall back to her brother. Tied to her and laid on the ground beneath. Looking at her like just as much the goofy asshole she missed so much.

Anger always felt urgent and fast, like a flash going through her body and leaving everything inside it in disarray. It demanded to be completely felt, but only for the moment it took for Alex to decide it wasn't worth launching the nearest object at a window.

Or trying to kill her dead brother.

"You might have needed Gabe. But you don't need this Gabe anymore, Alex. You can do it on your own now."

The fear and sadness that came after? They were usually much, much worse.

"But this is the only Gabe I have."

Those emotions, when mixed, turned into a horrible harmony that paralyzed her lungs and darkened the sides of her vision. They felt just as urgent as anger, but complacent. A beast staring at her from the very bottom of a pit. Tied to her by the waist and trying to lure her down into the abyss.

And, for Alex, the abyss was as deep as a ventilation shaft for a Colorado mining site.

"No, it's not. You'll always have me, Alex. And you know that." Not in the way that matters. Alex wants to say, but it's so redundant. He's the ghost. He should already know that. "And you have Ryan now, and Eleanor, Riley, Charlotte, Ethan... Steph..." he gives her a cheesy smile in the last name, wiggling his eyebrows back at her teasingly.

"Oh, God, way to ruin the moment." Alex can't help but chuckle a little through her tears. Is she blushing? You can't blame her for blushing, right? God, she feels like Diane.

"Hey. Let me have it. One of my only regrets is that I never got to tease the hell out of Steph for dating my little sister... and for being whipped as hell."

"That would have been so funny."

"I knew she'd get along with you but I guess I didn't expect... that. Shame on me. Should've had more artistic vision."

Alex chuckles as more tears run down her face. It's so bittersweet it hurts from the very inside of herself.

"All jokes aside. I'm glad you have her, and that she has you. She's good. Just make sure you tell her I'll haunt her from the grave if her dumb ass breaks your heart, okay?" Alex nods, and her body starts shaking with strangled sobs. So much emotion she just can't let go of. Because if she does, Alex is afraid there'll be nothing left.

"Hey. Don't cry. You can do this, Alex. You know how to live life now."

"I don't want to lose you again, Gabe."

"You'll never lose me. You'll just have to look a little harder." He smiles up at her, pulling jokingly on the rope, "now play your part - or is it my part? You get it."

And then- too soon. (Same as it was that night.) The sirens blast through the mountains, and somewhere above them, a giant explosion blows her eardrums, and boulders the size of cars come tumbling down the mountain.

She barely has time to blink. Barely has time to breathe one last time. Seen as she's Gabe, when she looks up all she sees is the giant rock, flying towards her, hitting her across the torso so hard, before she knows, she's flying way above the ravine, and one last glimpse of the stars catches hold over the veil of her memory before everything turns black.

****

She wakes up in bed, desperately clawing at the top of her chest as she gasps for air. Her lungs feel like they're made of lead, and all around her, she can feel the weight of the rocks, the explosion, the debris, weighing down her body.

Alex pats across the mattress for Steph, who is not there. Another wave of panic washes over her. So strong her mouth turns dry and her head aches as she tries to breathe in, but her lungs can only handle tiny, torturous gasps of half-breath.

Alex dispels a world of curses towards herself inside. Willing her own body to just calm down. In the bathroom, she can hear Steph singing softly to herself- she must have come home late from the DND tournament. Alex told her she'd swing by, but she'd had a long shift and ended up just passing out as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Alex hadn't had an incident like this in very long. She could control it now. Most times. It wasn't easy, with being on the road and constantly surrounded by people. Sometimes, she still got more than she could bargain. When she walked across a depressed person on the sidewalk, or heard one of their multiple neighbors yelling at each other through the walls, and suddenly she felt as if the world blended out of focus into a tsunami of feeling.

Feeling that wasn't hers but still felt so much like it was.

Steph helped whenever it happened. For a sarcastic punk rock mess, she was surprisingly stable and so very reassuring.

Just the fact that she can hear her voice. That Steph is there in the apartment with her, is enough to calm some of her nerves, and while Alex still can't keep herself from pulling in gasps of air as she tries to hold in any kind of oxygen, she at least has a plan.

Water. Water will make her feel better, right?

Almost as soon as the idea crosses her mind, Alex's half-delirious brain commands her to get up, but her body feels so very heavy. Like she's really been trampled over by a wave of giant boulders. And as soon as her feet touch the ground, her legs give up under the weight, and she falls onto the hard floor with a loud, heavy thud.

The girl's hands fly up to hold her weight against the bed, and thankfully that means she doesn't face plant the ground, but it sends her heart into a neck-breaking pace, and all air Alex'd been able to gather so far escapes her in a single huff until she's hyperventilating again, hot, angry tears running down her face.

You're so weak. You're such a fucking idiot. Of course, you had to go and lose Gabe twice, who the fuck would want to stay with such a mess-

"Alex, are you okay?" Steph's voice comes, as she opens the door to find her girlfriend sitting on the ground, looking like she might pass out from just trying to get her lungs to work, "Alex!"

In a second she's crossed their room and kneeled by her, both hands going up to her cheeks on instinct, smearing away her tears.

"Breathe with me, okay? We've done this before, you can do it." She always gets just a tiny bit of a scared aura around her when Alex gets like this, never for long enough that she can read it, but it's still there, the tiny flutter of fear, "come on, breathe."

Her eyes go up to find Steph's, her strong, glittering green gaze. Alex might be the one with superpowers, but it was Steph who could so easily reach in and soften her edges like it was nothing. It was Steph who could just lean in and hold Alex's hand against her chest, letting her feel the determined rise of her lungs. Strong. Stable. Even Alex couldn't possibly understand how she did that.

How she always made Alex's breathing slowly come to shaky, deep breaths, crawling painfully out of her dry throat, but still better than gasping like a fish. Inside her, Alex feels the furious hurricane of emotion, twisting itself into the bottom of her lungs, taking hold of every bit of her until she felt like she could throw up.

"Wait here, I'll get you water," Steph says, and Alex wants to complain, she doesn't want to be alone, even for a second.

But before she can, Steph has left their bedroom for the kitchen, and Alex feels as if she's stable enough to crawl into bed, so she does so at a glacial pace. She grabs Shu-Shu, holding her close to her chest as she sits and waits for Steph.

She eventually comes back in with a glass full and Alex gulps it down in silence, unsure if whatever dam of emotion that has taken place inside of her will break if she tries to speak. So she sets the glass back and lies her head down on the pillow, facing away from Steph and the rest of the room as she tries to reel herself back in.

She can hear Steph taking off her boots and climbing into bed, one arm winding around her waist as she pulls Alex in closer.

"Was it the lady from upstairs?" Steph asks, eventually, after they sit in a few long minutes of silence.

"No." She replies, and it comes out so strangled, so broken, a few more tears run down her face. Steph pulls her even closer, a tight, steady pressure.

"The couple again? I swear to God I'll call the police on that asshole this time."

"No." Alex says, and she detaches herself from Steph just enough so she can turn around and look at her, "I had a dream about Gabe." Simply saying his name makes her whole body shake. Steph is looking at her so intensely, Alex has to close her eyes, holding on to the fabric of her shirt with all she had not to explode in whatever terrifying, dizzying bomb of emotion she could feel brewing inside herself.

Alex felt so much from other people it overwhelmed her multiple times a day, and even then, it was nothing compared to this. Nothing compared to how much sheer strength it took from her not to let it blow.

It scared her. More than anything.

"He wanted to say goodbye." She says eventually, "it was- I don't know. This- I- this isn't coming from anyone- How do I get rid of it? It's like it's all inside of me and it's taking up so much space and I don't know how to fix it" The words come tumbling out before she can stop them, and she's rambling through tears.

Steph sighs. And Alex can feel the love and sadness mixed together, blowing from her in waves as she holds Alex's chin, bringing her up so they can look at each other.

"Baby..." there are tears in her eyes now, as she pulls her closer until their foreheads are touching, and they are so close Alex can smell her lemongrass shampoo, "This is all yours."

And such simple words shouldn't hit her this fucking hard.

But it all suddenly makes so much sense-

Alex was numb after her dad left. She felt nothing for months. It was one of the most terrifying feelings in the world, a deep and powerful depression that threatened to overtake her at any given point.

Like her whole body was nothing but dead weight and her brain was way too tired to even try and keep up.

Young as she was, Alex guesses she never realized the first time she felt anything at all after that was when she discovered her powers. The day a boy came to the orphanage and he was so angry it blew her across the hallway. Ever since then, everything around her was a cacophony of feeling. Coming from every direction. Every street corner, every store, every park.

Every moment of her life since she was eleven, Alex could only feel for others.

"I- I forgot." She realizes, half surprise and half so much sadness another sob breaks through her throat.

Now it made sense, the anger, the sadness, the fear, a hurricane of emotion so very powerful it made her ears ring.

"I'm scared." She admits. Because for someone who had been so focused on learning how to exist among other people's feelings, Alex had no clue how to handle herself, "what do I do with all of this? How do I fix it?"

"Alex. Look at me." Steph brings her face upwards until they are so close, Alex can see the speckles of blue in her eyes, "Gabe died just four months ago, and you were there to see everything- then you got shot and thrown down God knows how many stories into a dark abyss that you somehow walked out of, but not before also finding out about your dad's tragic death - and I haven't seen you cry, actually cry, for yourself, even once."

"I- I can't, it's too much. I don't know how, Steph." Alex had learned her lesson. She'd seen her life as it was and survived it. Deep down she knew it wasn't her responsibility anymore - that it never was her responsibility, to begin with - to hold herself together for others. She knows.

But old habits die hard, and Alex guesses it'll take a while before she starts feeling it too.

Because right now, it still felt like the world might collapse if she wasn't there to hold it together.

"Just- give it to me. Everything you have, I can carry it for you." Steph says, with such determination, Alex actually believes her, but she takes her eyes away, trying to avoid the bubbling of tears threatening to jump out through her throat "Let it go, please, Alex. I can't watch you carry it alone anymore."

At that moment, Alex glances at her again, and there's so much pain, so much love in her eyes, that inside Alex, the dam finally breaks and she's choking on sobs. Tears start running down her cheeks as Steph leans in and pulls her closer, one arm around her shoulder and one on her hip, squeezing tight in reassurance.

If she didn't know better, Alex would've guessed Steph was the one with the superpowers, with the way she coaxes wave after wave of emotion out of her with nothing but her steady presence and quick, light kisses she leaves on Alex's head and hair as she holds on to her shirt for dear life.

It overwhelmed her more than anything she'd experienced so far, and for what feels like hours, she just sobs as Steph holds her.

She cries for her mom. Dead before her time, trying to hold them together to the very end. She cries for her dad, dying a slow death deep underground, a picture of the two children he'd never see again dangling around his neck. She cries for Gabe, for the time they'd never have, for the time they did have.

Above all, for the first time, Alex cried for herself. For being the last out of all of them. For the little girl that had to love and lose every single one of them in succession.

And in the middle of all of it, like a speckle of golden light hidden under all the darkness, for the first time, she feels that it could all start to feel alright.

#send me chenrich prompts #i dare you #chenrich #chengrich #alex chen #steph gingrich #life is strange true colors #long post #chenrich fanfic #chenrich fic #alex chen × steph gingrich

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imonthinice · 3 years

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The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 12/?

Word Count: 4.4k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best friend’s name)

God idk what i’m doing with this but i’m liking it lmao

next one might honestly be smut idk

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Description of Blood, Gets heated, hints at trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N walked through the streets of Gotham, which were once bustling with people, but now were quiet with the occasional hooker, she had caught the city as an unlively hour, where it seemed to sleep the night away while the vigilantes of the area watched it like their lives depended on it. In some ways it did, the stories they would tell when being interviewed were horrific sometimes, but Y/N figured a decent amount of it was for dramatization, to keep the people of Gotham off of the streets to protect them all from it.

The question was always protect them from what, and they never answered. So, it never kept the people of Gotham at bay from the streets at night, and had Y/N’s car not been towed, she would have been driving home in the safe, secluded area of her car, not the vast wilderness of the streets of Gotham.

She looked up at the sky to see one of the virgate boys using a grappling hook to fly to the other building, which was such a sight to behold for someone who never witnessed a superhero beyond Superman at home. She wished and longed to know more about the vigilante, but didn’t dwell or dote on that man, because she didn’t need to.

Something told her that he was watching though, tracing every step she made to make sure she got home in one piece. She thought she was crazy, her life didnt matter more than anyone else in Gotham. He’s not following me, why would he? she thought, Even though I’m dating Jason Todd, they probably don’t know Jason, so my life doesn’t mean much more to them than any one of the hookers along this street. I’m overthinking it.

The walk home took two hours, she left Jason’s at 4am just to find herself back home at 6am, bright and early as the sun rose, ready to greet the day and all it had in store for everyone. But the things it had in store for Y/N was a class and if she was lucky, cuddling with Jason. Nothing more, nothing less.

She would open her front door, unscathed from the journey home, except maybe for a few callouses on her feet, it was the last time she wouldn't pay for more than a day of parking, that’s for sure. Heels were not the shoes you wanted for a two-hour walk home in the Autumn cold, but they were what she had.

She thought about what she was going to do next, and the first thought she had was to shower. Not because she needed to, but because she wanted to nurse the terrible headache she had and to think some things through. What she normally did in the shower.

She wanted so much more from so much of her life. the main offender of seemingly not being enough for her was Jason. Not because she didn’t want more, but because she craved more from him. He was injured, so she wouldn’t get much more rom him for the time being, and it stung a little for her. She just wanted him, maybe sexually, maybe in a more romantic setting or maybe just on her couch on a Thursday afternoon. It was all three of those options and she knew it.

She pulled out of the shower and looked at the time, 6:50am. Okay, she thought, little more time than I wanted to spend in the shower, but I guess the universe had different plans for me today. What else do you have for me, universe? And how much of you plan involves Jason?

She would open her phone after quickly getting dressed. While she still cared for her appearance, she didn’t want to dress like she owned a law firm every day, so she didn’t. Just black jeans and a black top and she felt like a million bucks.

Just some quick outfit inspo. I like doing these a lot. I think fashion is funky :))

Artemis had sent her a message asking where she was at around 4am, she wondered why the time, but she then remembered that Artemis’ boyfriend worked with Dick Grayson, who was Jason’s brother, who worked most nights until radical hours of the night. The chances that he saw her on her two-hour walk home was high, but the chances that that had also made it back to Jason was higher. She knew she was in for it.

Hey sorry, I was at Jason’s. Fell asleep in his arms the whole shebang. And yeah, that was me who screamed the yo momma joke at the press. It was super childish, I know, but I don’t care. Those fucks are sucking my life force out of me and harassing my boyfriend, even your boyfriend.

She would then look at the articles calling her a gold digger and worth-nothing childish insulter of the press. She laughed. If the press wanted a fight from her, she was more than willing to oblige and load the canons.

She didn’t know how to fight back that well, since it was a mainly verbal fight, and she barely even knew how to fight physically, hence all the running and non-confrontational arguments she had had to the press.

And like fucking clockwork, Jason texted her.

Did you walk home alone or are my brothers lying bastards?

I walked. I knew someone saw me, fuck.

Why did you walk home? I thought you drove here?

I did, but we spent more than 12 hours together Jason. I didn’t buy enough hours, suddenly my car was being towed.

You could have asked for a ride home from Alfred! He would have in a heartbeat.

I was going to! But I got distracted and it all became a blur and suddenly I was part of the way home in the dark by myself!

What if you had gotten hurt?

Well, I saw one of the vigilantes of the city on the rooftops, I’m sure if I screamed they would have seen me. They always do see that stuff.

So, your car got towed huh?

Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay it off. It’s not exactly like money my parents give me should go to my car getting towed because I got fucked over by seeing my boyfriend.

You’ll figure it out. Sorry about the car, that’s got to suck fucking ass.

You think? I’m stuck taking the fuckin’ subway till I get my car back. I hate the subway, too many people. Far too many people. Too many eyes. It gets stressful really quickly. Might just walk every where honestly, I can’t deal with the eyes of strangers.

But you’re a C-list celebrity.

Internet is different. I can just block the bad eyes and move on with my life, you should see my block list now that some people are connecting my name to the girl who flipped off the press, thank god Twitter has a fuckin block feature.

You should really just meet my family so you don’t have to run away before they get home, would probably cause you a lot less financial stress, Y/N.

I’ll think about it.

You should think a little harder about it. I don’t want you to get your car impounded ‘cause you’re seeing me, why did you even park in pay-to-park?

Did you not see the massive mob trying to get to you? It was impossible for me to even try to pull into the driveway. Hence why I’m being insulted, you know, ‘cause I yelled at the press to get them to leave me alone. I fucking hate the press, you’re stabbed, severely injured last time they got information, and they’re harassing me, asking me what I like to do on the weekends.

Fucking vultures. Yeah, I’ve seen that. I’ve read the articles. But that’s the press for you, absolute trash and spitting bullshit in everyway.

Fucking hate the press, that’s for damn sure. Despise them. I won’t ever change that, even if, knock on wood, we break up.

Praying we don’t break up so I can see you lose your shit at the press when you’re bored.

She would get up to go make some coffee, since it was closer to 7:20am and if her roommate woke up, she could just tell her to get up anyway.

The press can suck my dick. she said.

You have a dick?

Oh yeah. Massive. 20ft long. It probably won’t even fit all the vultures.

Oh my god, that’s not as big as mine.

lmfao is it now?

Oh yeah.

Nice.

Anyway, my brothers are staying home from school today, I think they’re making me play Resident Evil 8 with them? You know that game?

Of course. Everyone in that game is infinitely hot.

Are you bi?

I don’t know. Haven't thought that far ahead to actually label myself. I just like people. Sometimes it’s men, sometimes it’s women. But you have to agree when you see them all. That game came out when I was still in high school, so I’ve played the entire thing. My phone background is actually one of the characters.

Which one?

I’ll show you if I come over tonight.

My brothers might be in my room, though.

Okay, but, RE8 is an amazing game. So, worth it.

You won’t meet them normally but I pull out a game you love and you’re down?

I’m very easy to convince.

You still have notes to write when you come over though.

Oh yeah, I was probably going to have to come over both ways, just because I need those notes and you do too.

Do you not own a printer?

I barely even own a laptop, I’m waiting for my old one to come in the mail.

How do you even manage?

With a whole lot of will and spite, anything is possible.

And that’s when her discord group chat @’ed her. She was on Do Not Disturb because she was Jason, and apparently they missed her.

Y/N! C’mere. One said.

Yes? Whatduhya want nerds?

We’ve decided to hold a fake internet wedding between you and Christopher. Another said.

A what.

We’re getting married!

Sometimes I wish I never left Metropolis and then I remember you fucks live there. Why are we doing this? You do know I have a boyfriend right? She asked them.

I don’t know, we’re bored and we miss you. We can have a bachelorette party in Gotham, if you want.

I’m this close to going back on DND.

The group chat was made way back when they had all first met in grade 9 and had been active ever since. They all had stayed in the city when they graduated though, but since Y/N received a scholarship, fully paid for, she took the opportunity and jumped.

They were some of her closest friends, even if they lived in a different city to her now, even if they were all busy with school, even if she was busy with school and a boyfriend, A lot of her life wouldn’t be complete without her crack friends in her hometown.

They had all ben partying like crazy while she was gone, and if she wasn’t so hung up in her own life, she’d probably be down there with them.

Before you do, can you please explain why you’re screaming at the press, lmao.

Because fuck the press, dude. Why else?

What did they do to you?

Have you seen the recent articles?

That’s true.

She laughed and finished her coffee. Jason had not responded yet, she assumed his brothers were either checking on him or they had started the game. It was around 8am when A/N finally left her room.

“I thought you were staying with Jason?”

“I was, but then I remembered he has like 9 siblings and I’m not about to meet them all. Then I walked home.”

“You walked?”

“Car got towed.”

“Fuck, can you afford the bill? I can’t.”

“Nope.”

“Guess we’re going to take the subway for a while, huh.”

She sighed and put her cup in the sink, “At least you don’t have school to go to and your lover comes to meet you, I have shit to do and places to be,” she frowned, “Inconvenient.”

“Could you borrow money from Jason’s dad?”

“I don’t borrow money from family, it’s hard enough for me to accept the money my parents send me.”

“I know it is, when’s your class?”

“3pm, I’ll be leaving at 12pm though, because the subway is unreliable.”

“This is going to be a hard hit for us.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s fucking your credit. Mine’s tanking.”

“You’ll pull through it.”

-------------------------------------------

She got onto the subway at 12:30pm. She really hated the way it was running. The people, the faces, the staring eyes of unwanted attention. People knew who she was and she hated it. She didn’t like the attention, she just liked the fucking with people. She wanted to get off the subway the minute she got on.

She eventually couldn’t take it and got off a few stops away, there was still a substantial walk towards the college, but she knew it would be. She even brought a leather jacket with her so that she could walk if she couldn’t take it anymore.

And there she was, in the busy streets of Gotham, walking to her college. Barely aware of the people who did stare at her, because she just kept walking, lost in her thought but aware of the people in her trail, the cross walks and the lights she was waiting for occasionally. She just kept walking until Artemis met up with her,

“Hey! I didn’t know you were walking to school today,” Artemis said.

“Oh! I didn’t want to, my car got towed though.”

“Your car got towed? That sucks so much. Well, we’re going the same way, so I’ve decided I’m going to walk with you, you get no say.”

“Of course. I was going to ask if you wanted to,” she laughed, “It’s more fun with a friend anyway, Art.”

“So, how are things with you and Jason, I’m legally obliged to ask as one of his friends.”

“Well, we made it official if that’s the kind of thing you want to hear,” she laughed again, “I’m sure it’s the answer Dick will eat up.”

“You’re right about that one. Dick’s a sucker for a romantic story, you should write one, since you write. He’d probably read it all.”

“Well, that would be fun, but I still don’t have my laptop.”

“You could use Jason’s?” Artemis suggested..

“Nah. It’ll be fine,” she said, “I’ll manage.”

“Aren’t you collecting notes for him for your psychology class?”

“I am, it’s not like he can go anywhere. I actually told him he’d need to walk eventually so that it’s not a learning curve when he’s healed.”

“That’s what all of us are telling him too, he’s a stubborn man, good luck with that one,” Artemis laughed, “He’s always been the stubborn friend. Worse than Will, actually, and Will is really bad with being stubborn.”

“It’s fine,” she laughed, “If you asked any of my Metropolis friends they’d say the same about me.”

“I bet you were quite the wild child in your heyday back in your city,” Artemis laughed, “I hate Metropolis.”

“Who doesn’t? It’s so crowded.”

“Uh, Clark doesn’t. He thrives there, no idea why, he grew up in Smallville. If anyone should be uncomfortable with Metropolis it should be the small-city country boy, but I guess it’s his thing.”

“I forget you know everyone.”

“We know a lot of people, are you’re slowly being let into our massive circle of very well-known people. Welcome to the group, I guess,” she laughed, “You'll either hate or love the fame that comes from this.”

“Well, if its paparazzi and press, I think I’ll hate it.”

“I can promise you right now that it’s not all paparazzi and press, we haven’t been bothered today, probably because we are on the move.”

“You shouldn’t say that, you’ll jinx it.”

“I know a lot about not jinxing it, but that’s a story for another time,” Y/N noticed that when Artemis said this her eyes glazed over and she looked upset.

“You don’t ever have to talk to me about something you’re not ready to talk about,” Y/N reassured her.

“Hey, the trauma makes me funny.”

“Two can play that game.”

They would ramble on for the rest of the walk to their college. Nothing really of substance, just getting to know each other further. She was glad she found a friend in Artemis, it would have sucked if the two of them didn’t get along, but with each word they exchanged, they had so much fun.

She even told Artemis about that time she played Katherine Howard in her school’s budget play of Six - The Musical. She was proud of the riffs she was able to do, but she didn’t talk about it often. She was never the type of brag about her achievements, no matter how amazing they were.

But Artemis and Y/N parted ways and Y/N went to her class and wrote the same, boring, scribbly and barely legible notes. She figured eventually she’d need nicer handwriting, but did she want to work on it? No.

When she finished, she saw Artemis and who she could only assume to be Wally, at Artemis’ class doors. She waved to Artemis, before Artemis called her over.

“Y/N! Hey, I would ask how class is, but this is Wally,” she gestured to the red-head boy beside her, and Y/N held out her hand to shake Wally’s.

“Hi, Wally.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you since Jason can’t shut up about you and my girlfriend likes you a lot.”

“Well that's sweet of you Artemis. You’re just so in love with me,” Y/N joked.

“Girl. You know it,” Artemis joked back.

“You two already have a close bond? That’s impressive,” Wally said, “Never seen anyone win over any of my friends this quickly,” he muttered.

They joked for a little while longer, just getting to know Wally before she had to go, she had to get to Jason’s.

The walk was a while away, so she went and sat on a park bench for a minute to check her phone, Jason had texted her.

Hey baby, are you coming over?

I am, yes. I actually just met Wally.

You met Wally and I wasn’t there to see it? C’mon.

Artemis introduced us! Go yell at her.

Oh. Never mind. I won’t do that.

Ha! Scared of her?

Maybe a little, she can be scary, okay?

You can’t tell but I’m laughing at you.

Dhmu.

That’s fine, I’ll just go hang out with Alfred and not you. He seems like he would be spiteful like me.

That’s unfair.

I thought you said don’t hit me up?

Fuck.

Checkmate.

I am upset.

No you’re not.

No I’m not.

She would walk down the street further, maybe within a couple steps to reach the Manor, when a man dragged her into an alleyway. She yelped.

“Uh, hello? Can I help you?” she asked, pretending she wasn’t terrified.

“How much would Bruce give me for you?” the attacker mumbled before he tried to knock her to the ground, but she had another plan.

He grabbed her, put his face close to hers, and she head-butted him, he would stumble back, and she started running to the Manor.

“Come here you fucking bitch!” he screamed. She could feel her nose bleeding as she ran and ran, the security saw her and pulled her into the gateway before drawing their guns and urging her to run to the steps of the Manor.

And she ran. The security at the door saw her and let her in, and yelled for Alfred.

“What is this nonsense, oh,” Alfred paused when he saw the blood running out of Y/N’s nose, “Miss Y/N, what happened to you?” he asked before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the entry-way bathroom and opening a first-aid kit.

“Okay so, what happened was I was walking to the Manor because my car got towed right? And this fucking bastard dude pops out from an alleyway and pulls me into it, asks some bullshit about how much Bruce would pay for me, when he grabbed me and tried to knock me down, when I head-butted him and started running,” she said, completely unphased.

Alfred didn’t respond to her and started to stop the bleeding when Bruce called for him, “In the entry-way bathroom, Master Wayne!” he answered.

Bruce came around the corner and saw Alfred was already tending to Y/N, “Well, this is the event where I meet my son’s girlfriend, when she is bleeding and running from a strange man in an alleyway.”

“Heh, sorry,” she said and outstretched her hand to shake his, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Bruce.”

“I can tell you’re going to be quite the addition to this household,” he said as he took her hand and shook it, “As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good. I guess you can’t get mad at Jase for being a reckless man now.”

“I really can’t.”

“Alright, you should be good, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you, Alfred. But you really didn’t have to.”

“I’ve been taking care of 5 boys and 3 girls since most of them were little, Miss Y/N. A little blood is really no big deal for me to handle.”

“That’s obvious.”

“You can go see the boys now, they’re going to ask you though,” Bruce said.

“I know.”

She walked to Jason’s room, hoping that he wouldn’t have all of his siblings in the room, he did though.

“Hey, Y/N- what the fuck happened to you?” Jason exclaimed when she opened the door.

“Oh great, all your siblings are here. Anyway, I guess,” she paused, taking in a big breath so she could run through the events quickly, “So I was walking here ‘cause my car got towed, right? When some fucking bastard man grabs me and yanks me into an alleyway and starts going off about how much Bruce will pay him to get me back or something,” she paused again, “And when he tried to knock me down by getting really close and personal to my face, like an idiot I should add, I head-butted him.”

“You did what?’

“I’m not done yet, met your dad when I actually had blood running out of my nose because that's just my fucking luck. Okay, now you can be disappointed in me,” she joked.

“I will say again, you did what?”

“Something stupid?” she said.

“You could say that again, my god, what went through your head?”

“Uh, nothing. Just survival. Fight or flight but I head-butted a man, and hi, everyone.”

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Dick,” Dick said, “You clearly are meant for Jason,” he joked, “That's something he would do.”

“Don’t encourage her, Dick!”

Stephanie got up and greeted her, “You know, Y/N, I always wanted a crazy sister,” she joked, “I’m Stephanie, the black-haired girl is Cass, and the red-head is Barbara.”

“Me too,” Cass hopped onto the joke.

“It’s something else when you meet the girl your brother is dating after she head-butted a man, apparently,” Y/N laughed, “I know it’s far-fetched-”

“Not really,” Tim cut her off, “You know Jason protected Will when they were attacked?”

“That’s Tim, by the way,” Dick said.

“So you can’t yell at me for head-butting a man!” Y/N joked at Jason while going to sit beside him, he slinged an arm around her shoulder and leant his head into her head.

“Well, you seem like a nice enough girl,” Barbara said, “Take away the reckless behavior, and you are lovely.”

“That is valid, to be honest. Not exactly the way you want to meet your brother’s girlfriend.”

“You think?” Jason asked, sarcastically.

“Ha ha.”

“See, she thinks I’m funny, why can’t you fucks?”

Y/N laughed and then asked Dick, who was playing RE8 at the time, staring at the photo of Donna Bentiveno, “She’s cute, isn’t she, Dick?”

“Have I been staring?”

“Let’s just say Angie is probably very pissed at you.”

“Oh! Whoops. There’s a point to this, I forgot.”

“I don’t blame you, I remember forgetting there was a point and the little bitch devil doll would attack you.”

“Language.”

“Oh no, you’re lame. Gross.”

“Excuse me?” Dick asked as the rest of the room erupted in laughter.

“Do you guys see why I like her now?” Jason asked.

“Uh no, she’s mean,” Dick said.

“You’re going to die if you don’t start paying attention, Dick,” Y/N said.

“Oh!” and he died.

“And that kids, is why we listen to the person who’s 100%’ed the game.”

------------------------------

Y/N and Jason would spend hours with his brothers and sisters until the sun started to set and they all scattered to their own rooms to do their own things. you can’t keep a lot of kids in one room for so long.

Once everyone left, Y/N placed her hands on Jason and kissed him, she was actually able to be laid on his pillow, he was able to pin her to the bed. And they did just that. He was on top of her, using his one arm to prop himself up and using his other hand to touch her face.

Her hands found their way into his hair like they always did, she found a lot of joy in playing with his hair. Their tongues danced together, they never fought or anything, they just enjoyed each other when Jason let out a small moan and she let out a small laugh.

“Keep it in your pants, Tiger,” she joked, “You’re not fully healed.”

“You literally smashed your face into another man but I can’t moan when I kiss you?”

“Because I know you want more.”

“Hell yeah I do,” he said as he went back for more, actually using his strength to keep her to the bed, but she didn’t protest this time.

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grimoire-of-geekery · 4 years

Text

Wicked: a Gamer’s Look at Morality

(pic is from an Etsy store, I really want these dice, they’re freaking gorgeous)

A few years back, I was one of a handful of admin on a roleplaying sim on Second Life, and I was put in charge of teaching basic roleplaying skills to people new to our game. There’d been a shift in our rule structure, a move towards a more formal rule set very similar to Dungeons and Dragons, and I had to adapt my workshop to reflect that.

Some of you who know me are already cringing on my behalf. Yep, I’m one of those gamers who loves tabletop roleplaying games, but just... really dislikes D&D. A lot of my friends already know about my laundry list of complaints (unrelatable magic systems, the ridiculous idea of “evil gods,” unrealistic rules... it’s a long list), and I’m not going to dig too deep into it for this story. Suffice to say, I have some opinions, and we’ll leave it there.

Ordinarily, I leave my list at home, and just try to avoid playing standard D&D. This time, however, I had a bunch of friends counting on me to help our players adapt to the new rules, and that meant dealing with some of my prejudices, and turning some of my objections into experiments. One such experiment, and arguably the most successful one of the set, was an experiment in D&D morality alignment.

I should preface all of this by saying that I told this story in a shorter form on a Facebook group I follow, a DnD players’ group, and that’s what got me thinking about it and wanting to share it with all of you. Yes, I do realize the irony in being a member of a group centered around a game with which I have so many issues. I’m a geek, we’re allowed to be inconsistent in the pursuit of our fandoms. Anyway, someone asked about alignment, and it brought up the whole story for me again, so I’m sharing it with you now (and I’ve also shared it on Facebook), as I feel it’s kind of relevant these days.

Now, those of you who are familiar with D&D already know what the alignments are, but for those new to it: every character you play gets a moral alignment based on a combination of two sets of three traits- Lawful, Neutral, and Chaotic, and Good, Neutral, or Evil. You can play a Lawful Evil character, a Neutral Good character, a Neutral Neutral (called True Neutral) character, a Chaotic Good character, and so on.

Dungeonmasters and storytellers and writers have expounded for years on what those alignments really mean. Before we nerds had “what is your Hogwarts House?” quizzes and discussions, we had “what D&D alignment are you?” debates. And frankly, I always hated the whole system. What rational person would willingly choose to align themselves with “evil?” How the hell are you going to find someone who’s objectively “good,” or “neutral” for that matter? And how about the whole “lawful” vs. “chaotic” concept? These are none of them rational or practical character motivations or personality frameworks, and they afford players the ability to become unrepentant murderhobos far too easily, to the point where there’s a whole genre of roleplaying centered around that mentality called “hack n slash.” Like, that’s part of the appeal for some people. I don’t get it, I don’t enjoy it, and it bothers me enough that I decided to change things around with our new players.

We had a character sheet and some various “character HUDs” that allowed players to use abilities like in a video game, with special effects and such. They came with an alignment choice. That alignment choice was set up with a grid of nine cards, each with two letters. Lawful Good wasn’t spelled out, it was just “LG.” Likewise, Neutral Evil was “NE.”

This gave me an idea. A WICKED idea.

I sat my players down, and said to them, “forget what you know about alignments, I’m changing the rules. We’ll choose your alignment after you design your character.” They went about the business of designing who they were going to play in our game. At the end, they were to choose an alignment, based solely on what they thought those letters meant.

They chose. One guy chose LE because he wanted to play an evil character who still played by the rules. Another girl chose CN because she wanted, and I quote, “to do whatever she wanted without concern for morality.” All of the players finished their choices, and that’s when I unveiled the surprise.This is what I told them:

Those of you who chose an E, congratulations, E= Elphaba. You each get a small starting advantage of some kind- a power boost, like a feat or an extra cantrip. It’s small, but useful. However, you also gain an uncanny mark which puts you at a social disadvantage, causing people to vilify you or be intimidated. Good for intimidation checks, bad for making friends.

Those of you who chose an N, N= Nessarose. You get a physical disadvantage that causes people to infantilize you. You may choose a magical method to circumvent the physical side of that disadvantage, but you can’t get rid of the social aspects of it. Bad for intimidation, good for getting people to feel sorry for you.

Those of you with a G, congrats, you’re all Glinda. You get a social advantage with strings attached, and a single fatal mental flaw, causing you to miss certain information and misjudge things. You will be good at making friends and manipulating people, but you’ll also be dependent upon them. Choose what social group you’re connected to now.

My final declaration: your letter determines what kinds of options you have. Glindas can’t make decisions that are only available to Nessaroses or Elphabas, and vice versa with all three. You are limited in your scope, and you will have to deal with the consequences of your actions in a way that’s in keeping with your alignment. And no, you can’t just choose a new alignment, you’ll have to change it in character through story.

Suddenly, I had a bunch of players who thought they were done with their character creation, scrambling to figure out how to revamp their sheet and make their characters playable. Naturally, I got a number of “it’s not fair” complaints, and one player stormed out and threw a tantrum. Eventually, though, we had a large chunk of people with characters which had a lot more intricacy and detail woven into their design than they had previously attempted. We had players who were actually excited to play with the others, because they no longer knew which way their character would go.

I had left the whole “lawful/neutral/chaotic” thing alone, so people could use it as a touchstone in their behavior choices. I also gave them the option of changing their alignment in character, with the understanding that the changes would cause them to lose whatever advantages their previous alignment granted them.

The axiomatic side of things actually helped some of the players understand character motives and moral choice, which was awesome. They learned that the letters are in that order for a reason- Lawful Good instead of Good Lawful, because the axiomatic aspect was about choosing for oneself, and the moral aspect was for how one deals with one’s consequences.

People who are good aren’t people who only ever do good. People make mistakes, they screw up, they lose their footing or have bad judgment or get confused or experience temporary states of insanity. People who are evil aren’t people who only ever do evil.

Being “good” is about accountability, about accepting that not everything is about us. A “good” person is someone who chooses to accept that their choices affect the world in ways they cannot always predict, and that they will one day have to pay the piper for their actions. They accept their accountability for their actions, they endeavor (rationally, and in a way that serves them as much as anyone else) to make the world a better place for everyone, even if it’s just in small ways.

A “neutral” person is someone unconcerned with consequences. Maybe they just are in it for the experience, maybe they see no moral quandary with their actions or their situation. Maybe they’re not able to see the longer view, or they haven’t had a reason to look yet. Maybe they’re not in a phase of their life where they’re interested in responsibility. Neutral isn’t a way to drive though. It’s the setting in your car for “not going anywhere.” A person is neutral when they’re reactive, and they’re often not thinking about whether their reactions are acceptable or not.

Conversely, an “evil” person is someone who refuses to be accountable. They don’t just ignore consequences, they aren’t ever wrong, and their constant efforts are towards advantage and maintaining their position at the top of the heap. They don’t have to answer to anyone for anything they do, not even themselves. Maybe they have a nihilistic “nothing matters anyway” philosophy about the world. Maybe they’re convinced that the ends justify the means. The difference between them and the other types is, their choices are corrupting and make the world a little harder to live in for everyone involved. Not that they care, they sleep just fine, thanks.

Now, I have been all three of these people at one point in my life, and I’ve learned that there aren’t good or evil people, just choices and consequences and how you deal with both. I’ve learned that I’m pretty much never okay with being a neutral person, it stresses me out. I’ve also learned that I’m not fond of evil at all, because I genuinely like life and the world we live in. So, good it is, as often as possible, even if it’s just in small ways.

I think it’s important, especially now, for us to recognize that chaos can be good, that law can be evil (and obviously vice versa), and that being neutral is rarely the way forward. Nobody who strives to make the world better for themselves or those they care about ever thinks they’re doing evil. And, they’re right, because they’re not doing evil or good. Good and evil are in the consequences, they’re in how they’re going to deal with the fallout of their mistakes, or how they’re going to handle their success or good fortune.

Those of you looking for good in the world? Do good, even if it’s small. Don’t worry about being perfect, focus on making a small difference and making the world a better place. I promise you, it’s never a bad choice. And if you have to get a little Wicked to do it, that’s fine. Chaos can be good. So can law. And only those who don’t value good would not try to make good out of both.

Addendum: maybe this is important, maybe not, but out of twelve players I instructed in that class (I went back and counted names in my records), none of them ever tried to change their alignment. They all became very fond of their character’s personality and identity, and felt no need to change what they’d fought hard to develop and understand. When a person’s identity is in question, it can often become a fight for survival to change one’s behavior. To be different means that the old self dies, and nobody takes death well. I think that might be useful information for some of us right now. For me, I’m keeping in mind that good and evil are about consequences, and I’m striving to make sure that any fighting I do, whether for my own identity or for the safety of what I love, will be towards making this world a better place, especially for those who have a hard time finding safety or hope.

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barbarasbae · 5 years

Text

Just a Taste-The Aftermath

Part 2 of Just a Taste

Word Count: 1.4k

Warning: blood mention, threats/blackmail, implied smut, threats of violence against women/teenage girls (small scene but I don’t want people to be thrown into it and be uncomfortable)

Notes: Y/n is cousins with the Byers and that is simply because the Party’s and Hopper’s involvement are pretty crucial to the plot of this series towards the climax so far. The vampire information from Dustin in this chapter are all almost just copied and pasted from the vampire DnD wiki page. I have italicized the text I am referring to. Also, this is about to be the most used gif:

Y/n woke up that morning with a special kind of pain permeating through her brain. With a groan, she trudged out of bed and pulled on her favorite sweatshirt and jeans. Due to the hangover, she was already running late and was forced to down a muffin and banana in the car. It didn’t help that she was also battling against the movement-restricting puffy coat her mom always made her wear. School was uneventful, boring as always. By lunch, Y/n had convinced herself that she had just dreamt having sex with Billy Hargrove, as well as him most likely being a vampire. That is until he threw his arm around her shoulders as she left the building. “I need to talk to you.“

“Okay?” He pulled her behind the school building, looking around like he was trying to make sure no one saw them. “So last night was...good.” He said, lighting a cigarette. She saw the fangs. Oh. She hadn’t made that up. Well, fuck. “You’re cousins with the weird kid right? Zombie boy?”

“Don’t call him that.” He flicked the bud of his cigarette to the ground before advancing towards her until her back hit the cinderblock wall. “He’s one of my step-sisters little nerd friends.” They were so close she could feel that he wasn’t really breathing like he should. It was like he forgot to inhale every third or fourth breath. “Do not tell anyone about what happened, got it?” He said, fangs looking much more prominent. “This is why all those girls are scared of you aren’t they?” She murmured, his gaze too intense on her face for her to keep eye contact. “Wait...really?” His brows furrowed. “Yeah. Girls start acting different after going out with you.” He twisted one of his rings, looking like he was thinking. The moment was over as soon as it started, him looking back into her eyes. “Good.” Y/n found it easy to say this was one of the scariest moments of her life. “I know where you live, princess. If Max finds out, I can and will drain your body in two minutes.” The tip of his nose brushed hers. She wanted to cry. “Got it?” He snarled quietly. She nodded, biting her lip. He walked off, leaving Y/n to deal with her pounding heartbeat and weak legs.

Once she was able to form a cognitive thought again, she immediately went to the public library. It just didn’t sit well with her that such a creature was free-roaming Hawkins. She checked out some classics: Dracula, The Vampyre, Interview with the Vampire, Survival Skills for boys (you never know), and Varney the Vampire. She spent the night completely ignoring her homework, pouring over the books and writing notes in order to help her understand what the hell was going on. And maybe help her get rid of him. She felt a little queasy at the thought of going against him; everyone knew how Billy had almost hospitalized Chris Nickleson his second week in Hawkins. Despite feeling like she was walking on eggshells, Y/n didn’t actually see Billy for the entire day. Which could be a good thing. Or really bad. As soon as the final bell rang, Y/n beelined to the middle school, cornering Will and his friends as they came down the front steps. “Hey, you guys gonna play Dungeons and Dragons today?”

“Yeah.We’re gonna meet up at Mikes house.” Will answered. “When?” She pulled out a pen.

“Four.” Y/n marked it down on her hand.

“Ok. I need to ask you guys about something. I’ll see you then.” She said, trying to keep her wits about her and make sure no curly haired blond heard her discussion. The kids looked perplexed, but went along. They thought Y/n was pretty cool. Maybe cooler than Steve. (A big maybe).

After returning her books (getting rid of the evidence), she went to the Wheeler’s house with her notes in hand and was greeted by Mr. Wheeler. “Hi Mr. Wheeler, is my cousin here?” He didn’t look like he knew who she was talking about. “Will Byers?”

“Oh yeah. They’re in the basement.” She thanked him and scooted into the door, almost running to the basement. “Hi Mrs. Wheeler!” She called as she ran to the steps. “Hey Y/n!” The boys looked at the out-of-breath teenager as she threw her notes on the table. She tossed her coat, sitting down at their little table, getting her pen and paper out. “So, let’s say theoretically, if there was a vampire in Hawkins, how would I kill it?” They looked at her like she had a third eye. “Or even turn it back into a human?”

“Is there something happening?” Mike asked, looking for his walkie talkie.

“It’s for a...book I’m writing.” She fibbed, Dustin grabbing the manual and looking it up. “A vampire can be of any evil alignment, and if its alignment was not evil in life it becomes so in undeath.” He scanned for some more stats a little farther down. “It retains all the abilities it had in life, plus it gains the ability to drain blood and life energy, and to dominate other creatures with its gaze...it can also command rats, bats and wolves or take the form of them. They are superhumanly strong and regenerate/heal quickly from injuries. They can also turn into a gaseous form.” He finished, looking up to see Y/n furiously writing down more notes. “How do I get rid of it?”

“You stab it through the heart with a wooden stake. You can also deter it from attacking you by wearing a cross and throwing holy water at it.” Will supplied, looking over Dustin’s shoulder. “Okay. Thanks guys. Have fun with your game.” She went home and spent the evening organizing all the information she had gathered, writing a plan of sorts down. Then there was a knock on her window that scared her half to death. She looked up, the blood draining from her face. Billy. She collected her stuff and hid it the best she could in her closet. She walked over to the window, his eyes dark. She cracked the window as little as she could so she could hear him. “What do you want?”

“Food. You smell so good. Could smell you from the street.” Okay, creepy. He kept his eyes trained on her, watching her leave the room and return with towels. After laying them on the bed, she walked to the window and begrudgingly opened it all the way. “You’ve got to invite me in.”

“What?”

“Just say to me ‘you can come in’.”

“Okay. You can come in.” He came in and kissed her, hands greedily seeking the warmth her skin held from laying in bed. She leaned over and closed the window, him breaking for a moment. But then he just kissed her deeper. She kissed back, but he could tell it was different. “You know I wont drain you, right? I was just saying that stuff to scare you.” He was suddenly a teenage boy again,not a monster, rubbing his thumb into her waist. A faint blush was painting his cheeks, which she didn’t think was possible. “Well it worked.” She said softly, hands going to his biceps. “Sorry,” he sounded sheepish, like he was genuinely embarrassed by his decision to threaten her. He stopped touching her, walking over to her bed and sitting. She sat next to him cautiously, feeling more and more anxious as he kept his eyes trained on her bandaged neck (now decorated with a Batman bandaid).

“Were transformers not good enough for you?”

“I needed to change it because it was an open wound that hadn’t been cleaned.” She retorted with an eye roll and a little smile. His hand ghosted over hers that was resting in between them. He gently kissed the wounded spot, then trailed his lips up to her cheek. She winced, clutching her fist as an especially painful cramp throbbed in her lower belly. “Can I help? Please?” He begged, hand gripping her upper thigh. His fangs had grown longer, Billy ready to eat. “Y/n, I won’t bite again. I promise!” The look in his eyes was very innocent compared to what he had just asked her to let him do. She nodded. A smile grew on his face. She was on her back, hungry lips against hers before she could blink.

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove imagine #billy x reader #billy hargrove x fem!reader #billy hargrove reader insert #vampire!billy #vampire billy au #stranger things vampire au #stranger things imagines #just a taste #jat

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darkdevasofdestruction · 5 years

Text

Chapter 2 - The Rogue and The Bard

“Okay, so…You really go play board games with 12 year olds?” Billy asked, raising an eyebrow, not believing what I was saying. “Yes. Dungeons and Dragons, it’s called.” I tried to explain to him. “And you’re…Uh…Part of their ‘Party’ ?” he continued, looking at me in disbelief. “Yes. Mike is the Paladin, Will is the Cleric, Lucas is the Ranger, Dustin is the Bard and El is the Mage.” I smiled, looking at him as he drove us to school. “And what are you, babe? The charmer of the group? The Fox?” he chuckled, looking at me. “There’s no Foxes in DnD, you, idiot.” Max grumbled from the backseat. “I’m the Rogue…A Tiefling Rogue. That’s why they called me Fox. Rogues are sneaky and sly.” I grinned at him and continued.“I think you’d make a fine Bard. You have charisma, dexterity and strength.” I try to hype him up, but he only smirked at me with a confused look. “Uhm…You can go around and smack people in the head with a lute.” I grin at him, making him slowly start smiling at how weird it sounded, then chuckled. “I’ll buy a lute just for that.” he let out an amused breath before looking back at the road. “Why did they let you in the Party and not me?” the poor redhead pouted. “Would you want me to talk to them? You see, some of them may have some…Issues, but it’s nothing personal. El, our Mage…She disappeared just a few ago and we kinda miss her. I guess they may be reluctant to have anyone else join us because they miss her.” I told her in a soft voice. “Why couldn’t they tell me that in the first place?!” she leaned frontwards, between mine and Billy’s seats, looking at me. “Well…To put it simple, Max…It’s a problem among all ages. We lack one fundamental skill that could solve more than 80% of our problems and that is, drum roll…Communication.” I say dramatically, making her giggle confused. “What do you mean by that? We all talk so much, don’t we?” she asked again, very curious. “Yes, but that’s different. When you talk, you can either hear, just like you do with any noise, or listen, which you only do when you actually use your brain. Thing is, Max…Most of us don’t know how to Communicate. Your problem with the Idiot Party could have been solved very easily if only they were up for communication, but they’re a bunch of silly nerds. Really. Many people pretend to listen, but they don’t and you realise that only when they get busted.” turning to look at her, I smile and pat her head. “I’d say don’t take it personally, they’re just boys, they’re stupid…But I can talk to them. Believe me or not, I know how to make them listen.” “Whoa, really? You can do that?” she gleamed and practically radiated joy. “That’s why they call me Fox, remember~?” I wink at her with a chuckle, before realising we’ve already arrived. “I say, the way things are, my sister’s gonna charm you before I do.” he scoffed, seeing Max skateboard to her classes. “Awww, come on, Billy, don’t be like that. She’s a real sweetheart. I like her around me, just like I like you.” I nudge him slightly, despite not even budging him. “Besides, it’s nice to finally have proper conversations, y'know?” I shrug a bit, looking away. “Say, babe, wanna see me at practice today? You can cheer for me as I beat the shit out of that Pussy Harrington.” he boasted, putting an arm around my shoulder. “I…Hope not literally, but at the game.” I chuckled nervously, looking up at him slightly. “Fine, fine, whatever you want.” Billy raised his arms in defeat in a joking manner. “Billy! That was mean!” I grinned, trying to stifle my laugh. “Now, there, toots, is where you are wrong and you don’t even believe yourself. I heard your sweet giggle.” he poked my cheek, making me blush slightly and look down. “What time?” I asked, sighing, hoping that nothing will interfere. “First class after lunch.” he flashed a charming smile my way. “I guess that can work. Sure, I’ll be there. But, uhm…Apart from the fact that you gotta score…I know literally nothing about Basketball.” I confessed awkwardly. “Well, you got the gist of it. Leave the rest to me.” he winked, putting his shades on his head. “Project, after?” “If you want to, sure!” I smiled

With that, I went on with my daily at classes, and gotta say, time flew by pretty fast, and before I knew it, lunch began and I went outside to eat, just as I always do, listening to music on my cassette iPod. An hour went by fast and I had to go see Billy’s practice match, his team against Steve’s, and for once, I was a tiiiiny bit intrigued by sports. I enter the P.E. room shyly, seeing how everyone was busy doing the warming up, and I sit on the bleachers, opening my book and reading “The Lord Of The Rings”, my absolute favourite fantasy book, before the match began.

“Hey, Black, this place is for sweating, not reading! Give that here!” a voice yelled in my ear, making me yelp, before they took the book from my hands. “Give me my book back, please!” I stand up quietly, trying not to draw attention to myself. “Why are you here? This is hardly a proper place for you.” Steve scoffed, looking at the book. “Psh, what’s this rubbish? You’re really reading this? Nerd.” he rolled his eyes, holding the book above his head, barely out of my reach. “If you want it back that badly, reach up!” he continued, laughing. “Come on, please, give it back! I didn’t come here for trouble, I just wanted to cheer for a friend!” I tried to say, trying to reach my book. “Friend? You? Of all people? Don’t be kidding.” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Hey, lookie here, King Harrington! Too afraid to face me and you prefer harassing a girl? You’re such a pussy.” Billy’s voice echoed from behind Steve, as he easily got the book from his hand. “Why don’t cha come on the field and fight someone your size?” he smirked, getting in his face. “I won’t let you win, Hargrove.” Steve sneered, annoyed, before bumping his shoulder into Billy’s and going to field to his team. “So, you came to cheer on me. Guess now I can’t lose, huh?” he smirked, flexing a bit as he took off his shirt. “Be careful out there. If you flex and show off too much, you might forget you’re playing and not trying to find your next hook up.” I smirked slightly, gingerly taking my book from his hand. “Thank you. I appreciate you standing up for me…Again.” I smiled softly, rubbing his arm a bit, as a way to both say Good Luck and Thank you. “Who needs a hook up when I have to charm the pants off of ya?” he got closer to my face, in a teasing manner. “Go fuck them up…Babe.” I whisper lowly in his ear, as the smirk never left my face, and yet, I back down and looked away slightly. “Great, now I’m turned on and it’s entirely your fault.” he shook his head, biting his lip as he jogged to court, ready to start the game.

The game soon started, and while I have to admit I had no idea what was going on, I would cheer every time Billy would score. I think that’s what I’m supposed to do, right?

The whistle blew and Harrington had the ball, dribbling left and right, until Billy came in front of him, looking intimidating as ever, and they seemed to be…Talking? Do people talk during games? They would bump into each other a lot, before Billy somehow threw him to the ground and got the ball, showing off again as he marked yet another point for his team, then turning to wink my way as he saw I was clapping.

What a jerk.

The whistle blew again, one of the shirtless guys was dribbling the ball and Steve was blocking him, but, of course, since he’s the best player in our year, Billy managed to easily secure the ball and dribbled it away from Steve, but then stopped and started taunting Harrington.

“King Steve! King Steve, everyone! I like it, play it tough today.” he got closer to his face, annoying Steve. “Jesus! Do you ever stop talking?! Come on!” Steve tried to make Billy shut up, but to no avail. “What? Afraid the coach is gonna bench you now that I am here? Huh?” Billy laughed as easy going as usual, then dribbled and pushed past Steve and stop ANOTHER point.

This time, instead of looking at me, he went to Steve, offered to help him get up, but told him something in a very intimidating voice and let him fall to the ground again, before coming in front of me, putting his arms on his hips, smirking cockily and panting.

“Liked the show, babe?” he asked, his chin up. “I have no idea what I watched, but hey, I think you won, right? Congrats! It looked like you did all the job, so I guess I know why the teacher likes you.” I clapped my hands in front of my chest, praising him. “Look at her being so cute. Didn’t I tell ya you were melting my heart? Come 'ere, gimme a hug!” he approached me, but I yelped, giggled a bit before stepping back. “No, no, no. Go take a shower first, then I’ll hug you, okay?” I put my hands up to signal him to stop moving, but he only chuckled. “One of these days, I won’t be the only one sweating, babe.” he teased in a low voice, making me blink and tilt my head in confusion. “I…I don’t do sports, Billy, what do you mean?” I smile at him. “You…You didn’t get that, did you?” he sighed, rolling his eyes. “Uh…No, sorry.” I grin awkwardly. “Never mind. Wait for me by the car, will ya? Unless you wanna join me in the shower.” he winked, giving me a charming look. “Okay, I’ll wait you outside. See ya!” I said cheerfully, walking to his Camaro.

However, before I reached the car, I saw Max and Lucas arguing and I ran to them, putting my hands on her shoulders.

“Hey, guys! What brings you here?” I asked, trying to calm down the waters a bit. “Lucas, here, and the rest of his stupid party, don’t understand anything! They act like they want me to be their friend, but then they treat me like garbage!” she yells at him, annoyed. “That’s not true!” Lucas tried to defend himself, but Max refuted with a simple “Yes it is!” “Is this about the AV club meetings?” I went between them, looking left and right. “Yes! They can’t stop keeping secrets from me and it’s so annoying! We’re not in 2nd grade anymore!” she shouted, very angry, making me sigh. “Okay, kids, calm down. First of all, Lucas, I really need to talk to you guys about this. Max deserves to be in the party too, okay? She’d be a great addition. Secondly…Is this about…About Will?” I ask the second question a bit quieter. “Yes, yes it is! Don’t get me wrong, I want Max in our party, but we’re 6 in our party, not only me, and I can’t decide by myself! You, me and Dustin want her, but Will is barely around anymore and Mike declines every time, because of El!” he raised his voice at me, making me smile in annoyance and sign for him to calm down. “Okay, kids, okay, I understand your problems and while I do think Max should be in our party, I think we should talk, the 6 of us…Like, have a REAL talk, because things have gone out of control these days and I wasn’t able to stay in contact with you too much because of school stuff, as you know. Now…Uhm…You should have told me Will wasn’t okay. El is not the only one like that, if you remember. I will tell Max everything that happened to us so none of you will be able to complain again.” I said sternly, looking at Lucas, who widened his eyes. “Wait, why would you do that?! We’re supposed to keep it a secret from everyone! We’re already 6 people and Will’s mum who know these things! You know how words spread! It��s a small town!” he tried to protest, worried, but I only shook my head. “I trust Max with my life and I vouch for her. She won’t spread our secrets, I’m sure of that. She just wants to be your friend, morons. Oh, Max, your brother is here. Let’s go home, shall we?” I asked her softly, leading her to the car. “Sure. Oh, and, you still stink!” she shouted past he shoulder, letting him panic there all alone. “Boys can be real jerks, huh?” I shrugged, rolling my eyes. “Don’t worry, I will show you something you’ll never forget.” “Yes, please~!” she grinned up at me until we got in front of Billy, who looked pretty annoyed. “Hey, King Billy, how are you feeling after such a glorious win? I mean, I think it was glorious, considering how relaxed you were every time you showed off so shamelessly.” I teased him, motioning to Max to get in the car. “With you cheering for me oh so pretty, what was I supposed to do?” he asked, flexing a bit. “Mind if I come over? Or are your parents home? Max asked me to chat and do some girl stuff. Is that okay with you? If not, she can come over at mine?” I smiled at him sweetly. “Awe, come on, toots, stop smiling at me like that, y'know I can’t refuse you. They ain’t home yet, you can come over. But don’t think the little twerp can have you all for herself all day.” he winked in approval, which made me hug him tightly. “Thanks, Billy! You’re the best!” I say, kissing his knuckles before rushing to the passenger’s seat. “Whoa, babe, what was that? Shouldn’t I have been the one to do that?” he asked slowly as he got in his seat, looking at me a bit weirdly. “Does it matter? I think it’s sweet no matter who does it. It was my way of thanking you.” I give him a soft smile as I lean back on my seat, closing my eyes. “Hmm…Hey, toots, can ya hold somethin’ for me?” he asked as he started the car and left the parking lot. “Of course.” I replied absent-minded.

Without realising, something warm softly lifted my hand a bit, and as I opened my eyes, I see Billy’s hand pressed to mine, his fingers intertwined with mine. He wasn’t looking at me, instead, his eyes were fixed on the road, an almost invisible blush gracing his sun-kissed cheeks, making me smile at him. I was debating whether or not I should say something or not, but I settled for just squeezing his hand a bit and turning the music volume a tad higher, which made him grin.

We sang the lyrics to the songs, which made the ride home pretty fast, like usual. When we got out of the car, Max went to my side and dragged me inside, making me chuckle at her eagerness. We both sat on her bed and she looked at me with such curious eyes that she made me want to hug her constantly.

“So, uhm…This is all gonna sound very crazy. It’s gonna be SO crazy that you will think I’m lying, but honestly, out of all those idiots, I’m the person you’ll believe and I’ll show you why, at the end.” I began, smirking a bit at her reactions. “The secret the guys hide is…Like a real life DnD campaign. With the Demogorgon and all that. I know, I know, bullshit, huh? Well, I can’t show you one YET, but by the time I grind some sense into those idiots…Well, I mean, hopefully you WON’T get to see any monster, they are super scary, but like…Basically, there’s this monster that kidnapped Will and got him in other world and uh…We found his body, but this one is the real one, and uhm…Well, we managed to get rid of the monster…I and El, more like, and the way I saw Lucas today, I think something’s happened to Will. Bad enough that maybe the monster managed to find another way here.” I took a deep breath after ranting all that out, making the girl look at me like I just said the Earth was flat. “Okay, okay…So then…Let’s say I believe you. You have no reason to lie, unless you’re schizophrenic or something. First of all, who is this El? And secondly, how did you stop the monsters?” she asked skeptically, but wanting to be proven wrong. “Well…El…El is short for Eleven. She was an experiment who managed to escape and we found her.” I explained to her with a big smile. “You expect me to believe that?” her incredulous look only made me chuckle at her. “Do you know what my real name is…Well, was, actually?” my smile turned into a smirk as soon as she shook her head. “My name was Three. Do you wanna know why?” again, her vigorous nod made me continue my story, as I pulled up my Tshirt sleeve, revealing the “3” tattoo. “Because I, too, was an experiment who managed to escape…That was 5 years ago.” I explained with a chuckle, seeing her mouth agape as she gingerly touched the tattoo. “Whoaa…And what did they do to you?” she asked again, looking as she was going to jump up and down from excitement. “What they did to me…Well, a lot of things. But that’s not the right question, Max. Y'know what the right question is~?” I teased her, before continuing. “What resulted after what they did to me~!” I smirked at her. “What happened? Did you get super powers or something?!” she screamed before I shushed her. “Do you see that notebook on the desk? Well…” I chuckled lowly before I made the notebook come into my hand. “It’s not there anymore, now, is it?” I winked at her when she started cheering and jumping on me. “OH MY GOD, THAT WAS SO COOL! DO THAT AGAIN! DO THAT AGAIN!!” she yelled excitedly, making me open her wardrobe’s door, before slamming it back and then opening the window, making her literally jump and clap at me. “THAT’S SO COOL!! WHO NEEDS WONDER WOMAN, WHEN WE HAVE YOU?! Imagine that! America’s Hero, Katrina Black, otherwise known as The Fox! Oh, look at her, she’s saving the day again! Whoooo!” she made a superhero pose, but I told her to stop in her tracks for a second. “I haven’t really used my powers in a very long time because…Well…It’s not really something you’d want to go out in the open with some people. But…Uhmm…Let me try to make you fly, or, uhm, well, float. Want that?” I asked shifting in a better position so I won’t screw up or anything. “You. Can. Do. That?!” she jaw-dropped, making me blush a bit. “Well…Kinda? Like…Just like how I managed to get the notebook, I can move you in the air. But it’s more difficult so it takes a bit of a strain, so if my eye or nose start to bleed, don’t worry, it’s normal, okay?” I assured her.

Taking a deep breath, I extend my arm towards her and focus, making her slowly raise into the air, moving her left and right as she giggled and pretended to be a superhero or that she was swimming. I couldn’t help but laugh with her, but I had to put her down before a headache would hit me and I could lose focus and drop her.

“Sorry I got you down, I was afraid I might drop you. I can do that again a bit later, if you want.” I cleared my throat, before ruffling her hair. “Is there anything else you want to hear? I should go to your brother and ask him if he’s up for some tutoring. I mean…I was supposed to give him a test yesterday, but I couldn’t come over yesterday, so I told him tomorrow…But I said that not realising tomorrow is Friday and he has a Basketball match, so that’s out of the question.” I scratch awkwardly at my neck. “Say…Do you like my brother? He’s more tolerable to be around since you appeared and…When you’re with us, he’s weirdly nice. Like…I would have never expected him to hold a girl’s hand like that. He’s such a man whore and he’s so violent! …But I guess I kinda get him, in a way. His dad is really…Really…A huge asshole.” she murmurs the last part before flinging herself down on her bad. “Do you…Want to talk about it?” I lean on my arm, petting her hair softly. “If you want to listen…Yeah. Maybe this way you’ll understand Billy better. Who knows, maybe you can tame him or something, I dunno.” she sighed, burying her face in her pillow. “You know…Billy has saved me from bullying twice since you came. And he’s been very sweet with me so far. I…I know he whores around a lot and he’s very violent…And gosh darn it, he flirts with me more than he breathes, I think…But I really appreciated that he didn’t beat up a guy when I asked him to. He had him by the throat, and I begged him not to punch him…And he didn’t.” I confess, putting my head on the pillow next to her. “Woaw…Sure that was my brother?” she chuckled, turning on her side. “Haha, yeah, I promise, it was him.” I grinned softly. “So…So, I don’t really know everything, okay? But…But Billy is afraid of Neil. He’s always screaming very aggressively at Billy and it can’t be a recent thing. And I think he sometimes hits him too. He can’t accept my mum as his mum, which I can understand, but he hasn’t had someone in his life who has been as nice as you are since his mother left him.” she explained, smiling sadly. “Well…To be fair, I was expecting something like that. Childhood trauma usually manifests in two ways…Either like me, or like him. But…But I think…Maybe I can somehow handle this.” I brought her into a hug, which she reciprocated. “He’s been a part of my life all this time and I don’t know him as something more than a violent guy…But can you help him? I know it’s a lot to ask, but…” she trailed off, not knowing what to say. “Don’t worry, Maxi, I will see what I can do. I’m kinda stuck with him the whole year whether I like it or not, so I won’t let him get worse than he is.” I giggled at her, but before she could say anything, the door opened, revealing Billy, his shirt halfway unbuttoned. “There’s so much love in only one room, but what 'bout lil’ ol’ me~?” he slurred in a supposedly sexy way, leaning on the door. “Billy! Remember how yesterday I was supposed to give you that test, but I couldn’t come over? Like, I said I would give it to you tomorrow, but I didn’t realise tomorrow is your match and…And like, you have to celebrate your victory, so I won’t stress you with a test, clearly. But like, you want to take it today, or do you want on Sunday?” I ranted on as I got on the edge of the bed, but before soon, he just chuckled and picked me up bridal style. “Let’s take that test. I’ve been staring at your lips all day, Kitten, and today I’m even more motivated to find out their taste.” he laughed, getting me to his room and gently pulling me on the bed. “Are you sure, Billy? There’s no rushing…I mean, you can have a few days more to revise…And this chapter is not the easiest one, so I won’t blame you.” I smiled nervously, looking away. “Nahhh, s'okay. I was prepared for the one yesterday, so bring it on.” he told me with the most confident smirk in the world, as he sit down on his desk chair. “Okay, so uhm…Yesterday I stood after class with Mrs. Green to create the test for you in a way that it would be structured the same as the final exam is, which is why I couldn’t come over. But…Here you go. You can write in your notebook and I will correct it afterwards, I have the point-grading right here. I’m asking again, Billy - Are you absolutely sure you’re up for it?” I asked him for the millionth time, putting the test in front of him. “Yes, babe, I am. I’m a man of my word. Responsibility and Respect.” he muttered, scanning the test paper. “That sounded a bit robotic…But I won’t ask you about it now. Good luck and focus. You have 2 hours from…Now.” I told him, getting on the bed and doing some improvements to the project.

Two hours passed by faster than the blink of an eye, making me get up and go to Billy, patting him on the shoulder and telling him that time was up. He looked at me since we were about the same height with him sitting down, and in his eyes I could see a certain…Restlessness. Like a fight of emotions was going on, but he didn’t know what to do. I blinked at him twice before cupping his face and frowning.

“Are you okay, sweety? You look upset. Did something happen?” I said in the most gentle voice I could managed. “It’s nothin’, babe, don’t worry for nothin’. Go check my test and tell me if I’m worthy of you or not.” he grumbled, puling away from me. “Billy…If you want, I won’t look and you can retake is on Sunday. It’s okay if you fail from time to time, it’s not the end of the world, you can always try again later.” I try to reach out to him, raking my fingers through his soft hair. “Nah, babe, failing isn’t manly, it’s for pussies. I can’t afford that.” he sneered, gripping his hands into tight fists. “That’s not true, who told you that? To fail is human and it can happen to everyone. It’s not a masculinity meter!…Billy, look at me, please…Billy. Please.” I pleaded again, putting my arms around his neck, but he only got up and went away. “That’s what he always said, okay? So what the hell else am I supposed to fucking DO?! If I don’t listen, I’m fucked! That’s how it’s ALWAYS fucking been! But you wouldn’t get it, would you?! Your parents probably bought you that house so you could stay alone and study at your leisure, their pretty little treasure, and you could fuck everyone you wanted there and nobody would say anything! Why the hell are you even here?! Huh?! It’s only 'cause of that teacher, ain’t it?! And 'cause I’ve always been the idiot to save your weak and pathetic ass! Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if you DID boast that you fucked me!” he raged around the room like an angry tiger in his cage, trapped. “Wh-What do you even know about my life…?” I managed to usher softly, as tears welled up in my eyes and I backed towards to wall opposite of him. “Well, fuck, Katrina, I don’t know, it seems like after today, I know absolutely NOTHING! Care to fucking enlighten me? Care to tell me why are you the high school’s fucking whore?!” he yelled, stomping towards me, which only made me glue myself to the wall, sobbing. “I-I’m not…I’m…Not…I…I…” I choke out, but since I couldn’t say anything coherent, Billy slammed his hands on either side of my face, trapping me, screaming “WHORE” in my face, which made cower and shield my face with my arms. “Don’t hurt me! Please, please, please, don’t hurt me! I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me! I promise I’ll be good, please, don’t hurt me!” I barely managed to squeak out between my sobs, my legs shaking like mad and I could barely breathe.

My ears were ringing from the silence in the room, save for my pitiful sobs, flashbacks flooding my head so much that my throat and lungs were burning like a wild fire. After what felt like hours, he slowly guided me the bed, making me sit down, and by instinct, I let myself fall down and started unbuttoning my shirt, with trembling hands. I didn’t even dare look up to meet his face, but his hands gripped my wrists all of a sudden, which made me meekly raise my gaze a bit and see he was frowning, but somehow, confused.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a low, somehow dead-pan voice. “It’s what you want, isn’t it? Rather than doing it by force, just do it with no violence. I told you I won’t bother struggling, it’s meaningless anyways.” I whispered softly, biting my lip. “Did I say I wanted to fuck you right now?” he sat down on the bed as I cringed at his question, only shaking my head slightly. “Then why did you do this?” he asked, but since he saw I wasn’t answering, he continued. “I’m not mad, I’m not going to hurt you, ever, so just answer.” “I’m sorry I upset you…I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to.” I whispered as he lifted me into a sitting position. “You’re the only one who puts up with me, and if you got angry at me, I deserve it. I’m sorry, so please, don’t get angry at me and leave.” I continued, closing my eyes. “Kat, come here.” he patted his thighs, motioning me to sit on his lap, which I did, but I still wouldn’t look at him. “Kat, look at me.” he said softly, putting his hands on my face, as I previously did to him. “Who hurt you so much, Kat? Tell me. I’m not angry at you and I won’t leave you, either.” he uttered, trying to calm me down. “I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you or said those things to you. I know they were lies, but I got frustrated. I should apologise, not you.” he confessed, making me look at him with glistening eyes, shaking my head briefly. “Kat, tell me. Please.” he whispered in my ear, making me start to cry again and throw my arms around his torso, crying in his chest, still trembling slightly. “I don’t know, Billy, I don’t know! It’s always been this way! I don’t get it, what did I do wrong? Why does everyone hate me? Do I look that weird? Is my personality that garbage? I-I don’t understand!” I began, feeling him rub soothing circles on my back. “I never had a family, Billy! I’m a runaway freak! I ran from an experimental base 5 years ago! I didn’t even have a name, I was just a number for them! And…And I ran here, and a policeman found me and put me in an orphanage under a name that I made up! Katrina Black, not Three anymore! And…And when I got with my new family, it was no difference than in the orphanage! Always the same thing! Nobody wanted me, I was just a waste of time and I did nothing good to contribute to my family!” I managed to say, clutching his shirt tightly. “Shhh, it’s okay now, Kitten, I’m here.” he whispered in my ear kissing my head. “Don’t be afraid.” “I worked a lot for 4 years, and with the policeman’s help, I managed to get my own little house and a motorbike. Not the perfect family anymore, huh?” I tried to laugh, but it came out more as a choke. “And…And…I…I just…I just wanted my Happily Ever After, Billy…I…I didn’t want to be alone anymore…They faked it…They faked everything just to fool around with me…They pretended to love and care about me…They pretended that they were good and protective boyfriends…But by the time I realised that what was happening wasn’t normal, it was too late and the damage had already been done. And I can’t erase it no matter how hard I try…” I put my hands in my hair, pulling at it in desperation. “I just want to forget all the disgusting things that happened, all the lies I heard, all those hands on my skin…I told you so many times before, no matter how much you struggle, it doesn’t do any good. Well, now you know the story behind it.” as I said that, he gently pulled away my hands and made me raise my head up again, and I could see anger and sadness in his eyes…He, too, seemed to want to cry, but tried very hard to stop it. “Tell me who did this to you and I’ll kill them. I’ll get revenge on them for you. If you couldn’t get out, neither will they.” he growled, looking me in the eyes, but I only shook my head and hugged his neck. “Don’t…Don’t go…Don’t leave…Don’t bother…What’s done is done. Yeah, of course, he only fucked me once, did other super gross things, whatever and now I’m somehow the biggest whore of the high school, whatever. Hey, really, I somehow magically fucked you in your sleep, or something, hell if I know. And if that wasn’t enough, after that first guy, two more came by. 'Know what happened?” I looked at him with a self-deprecating laugh, making him motion for me to continue talking. “The first one made me realise what happened wasn’t okay. Thing is, I told him I wasn’t interested in any fucks. What he did? The next day he started asking me about what positions I liked and stuff. And the next thing I know, he realised that I’m not a virgin, but he is, and says something along the lines of…How did he say it, now…Ah, yes. 'Why do the bad guys always get the good stuff?’. Yeah, like, thanks mate, very smart.” I rolled my eyes, every word completely dripping with sarcasm. “I kinda like it when you finally talk from your heart and you’re not scared of everything around you.” Billy said with a small smirk. “Well, then maybe you should love me by now. The third guy was very sympathetic with me and supposedly very protective of me. Turned out he was high-key flirting with my then-friend, making out/fucking her, all whilst continuing to insult me, but never letting me break up with him. He was a notorious liar. The biggest liar in the world, I kid you not.” I snorted bitterly. “Did they beat you?” he asked in a very low voice. “No…But…They would get overly possessive and jealous and would argue with me big time. It’s not like I have many friends, y'know? Just the kids. And Jonathan Byers, kinda. They would yell at me a lot and get super moody and mean. Hell, even on my birthday. Really…Fuck off.” I scoffed slightly, pouting as I leaned back a bit. “Did you calm down, Kitten? Feeling any better after letting your feelings out?” he caressed my cheek softly, which made me look down and snort a bit, trying to stifle my giggle. “What’s goin’ on, Kitten? Why you laughing?” he asked with a soft smile. “I…Well…It might sound super weird, okay, but…But I can’t stop laughing thinking about it. Just…He…He always boasts around how much of a mess I was because of him, but, like…I literally didn’t even realise when he got inside me and when he finished, like, what the hell!” I started laughing loudly, wiping my tears with my wrists, which made Billy start laughing as well, not having expected me to say something like that. “So my little Kitten can have a sense of humour when she wants to, huh? I never expected you to say any of the words you said the whole day, I swear, you’re surprising me with each day.” he put his arms around me, hugging me tight as I put my arms around his neck and calmed down. “I know I’m a mess, and as I said a million times, I’m sorry that you have to put up with me. But, Billy, if it were after me, I’d have already given you a chance by now, but really, I’m just scared that the whole chaos is going to happen again. And I’m just so tired of everything that I don’t think I could handle another betrayal.” I confessed softly, putting my forehead to his. “I said I was gonna prove you that you’re not wasting your time, and I’m not backing up from that promise. If it’s time you need, we have all the time in the world. I won’t be a shithead again like today. I lost control and it was my fault, I’m sorry.” he promised, looking me in the eyes as he put a strand of hair behind my ear. “It’s okay, Billy. I know you have it rough too. I don’t know the details, but I can sense what’s going on. You don’t have to tell me, but I know your father is a…A douchebag. I’m sorry for using that word. But, really, it’s one more year and you’ll be free of him! You’ll have a scholarship and you’ll be studying at a cool University whatever you wish to study and…And…I…Well…Maybe…Maybe we can…Y'know…We may be able to study in a place close to each other. Maybe even the same city. Hawkins Scholarships are usually more or less addressed to certain Unis in certain states.” I said with a shy smile, which in return, made his features soften up like never before. “Sounds good to me, babe.” he said, before burying his face in my neck, holding me tight as I played with his hair, calming him. “Billy.” I called out after a few minutes, when I felt his heartbeat calm down a bit. “Would it be okay with you if I corrected your test now? Don’t worry about the result, it just means that I will have to explain some stuff better, so it’s no problem. It’s as you said, we have enough time for everything. I don’t want to hold you off for too long since tomorrow’s your match and you should sleep well.” I say gently, making him sigh and nod.

I told him to stay in bed and lean on the bed post before I got up, took the test and a red pen from my bag before hopping next to him, cuddling to his side. We corrected the test together, explaining to him each mistake he made and why it was wrong, how to address the question tasked and so on, and it seemed like he understood and he was aware of his mistakes and how to solve them. It’s true, he didn’t make it to 75%, but it wasn’t too far away from that mark. He was frustrated, but I managed to calm him down and tell him that he will definitely do better next time and that first tests are always so bad. By the time we were done, outside was pitch black and we realised it was already past 10pm, which made me bite my lip.

“It’s okay, I can walk home, it’s no big deal. Just stay here and sleep well, okay?” I smiled at him reassuringly, but he only shook his head. “Just sleep over, I’ll sleep on the floor no big deal.” he proposed, shrugging, making me gasp. “Are you insane?! You, sleep on the floor? It’s YOUR house! Damn it, Billy! I should take the floor! Well…I could sleep in Max’s room, actually.” I realised, but he shook his head. “No, no, no, I’d rather sleep outside than seeing you do either of those two. I said it before, didn’t I? She won’t have you all for herself.” he said, making me chuckle. “You could just say you wanted to sleep cuddled with me, y'know? You liked that hug more than you’d admit in your life.” I teased him with a soft smirk. “Fine, babe, y'got me. So, what band do ya want?” he asked, going to his wardrobe to look for a Tshirt for me to sleep in. “Woaw, always ready to give a girl your band Tees, huh?” I chuckled, hiding my mouth slightly. “Nah, not 'a’ girl. You. Anyone touching my band tees will get burnt.” he smirked, leaning on the door. “Flattering, Billy. D'you have AC/DC?” I asked softly. “Do I breathe air?” he asked very dramatically, throwing the Tshirt at my head, making me laugh. “Thank you. I love the design…Oh, Jesus, how much cologne and cigarettes did you have while wearing this?” I laughed, hugging it too my chest. “Too much, maybe.” he shrugged. “I’ll turn around so you can change. Don’t worry, I won’t peep. Yes, you can kill me if I do.” he chuckled as he turned around, stretching a bit, giving me enough time to change and remain into his Tshirt and lady boxers only, thanking every deity existing that he was much larger than me and the Tshirt went mid-thigh. “Okay, I’m ready. Thank you…And, uhm…This is really weird and embarrassing.” I sighed as I put my clothes neatly folded on the chair. “Ah, fuck, you’re so hot, I knew it.” he smirked, raking his fingers through his hair. “Okay, fine, my turn. But I don’t mind if you watch.” he winked at me, making me hmpf a bit as I got in bed, putting the blanket over my head. “All clear, I can’t see a thing!” I chuckled, giving him a thumbs up with my arm out of the blanket, making him sigh.

It took less than two minutes for him to snatch the blanket from my head and snatch me into his arms tightly to his chest, playing with my hair loosely. I smiled softly and snuggled to his side, feeling warm and safe in his arms and I completely ignored the fact that he was only wearing a pair of boxers. Godamn it, Billy.

With a kiss on my forehead, he muttered in a low, guttural voice a simple “Good night, Princess” before closing his eyes and going to sleep. In return, I could only smile and kiss his neck, being closest to me, and wished him “Good night, Billy” before I let sleep take over my senses.

Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

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