#i opened tumblr

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

making ur pfp a pictue of ur favorite guy is great. the modern equivalent of some guy in the 50s pulling out his wallet and there being a picture of his wife inside and him sighing fondly at it

#enochtalk #i get to go oh! its him! every time i open up my tumblr. its GREAT

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

[chlorophyllium]

#mole interest #is this anything? #<- it is counting by the 3k+ notes #guys stop i opened tumblr at work and the notifs kept BUZZING #to the non native english speakers what is the mole (animal) called in your language i am curious

[kurogxrix]

me after opening tumblr to those spam porn bots posts when all i wanted to do was read a silly ass fanfic:

#lord forbid i accidently open tumblr next to somebody #tumblr team just gave up atp #joel miller x reader #bucky barnes x reader #peter parker x reader #din djarin x reader #kurogxrix talks

[frightenedcookie]

@one-time-i-dreamt is always on my dash, had to start with her!

#dash-art #literally the first person I see when I open tumblr #one time i dreamt #fanart? #this really helped with my motivation

[britomart]

⭐ britomart Follow

not a big fan of those gimmick posts tbh [¹][²][ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵘʳᵉ?]

References [ edit ]

^ Britomart, V. (2023) "not a big fan of those gimmick posts". Internet: Tumblr.[ᵃ]

^ Britomart, V. (2023) "Drafts". Internet: Tumblr.

Notes [ edit ] a. ^ Have you heard of Inception?

See also [ edit ]

Gimmicks

Jokes

Punch lines

Further Reading [ edit ]

Reading Comprehension Questions (2023). Reading Comprehension Questions. ⇗ Text Post Tropes (2023). Text Post Tropes. ⇗

External links [ edit ]

Tumblr⇗

This post was last edited on 11 January 2023, at 13:14 (UTC).

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS:

Define irony and discuss its usage here.

What do you think the purpose behind this post was?

Is the self-awareness within the comprehension question an additional gimmick or simply part of the main gimmick?

What does this post say about how much time the author spends on the internet?

ADDITIONAL ACTIVITIES:

a) Try making your own post!

#um. hi everyone. #soapbox #wish i could give u an explanation for this post other than that i had tumblr and wikipedia open in separate tabs and thus

[indivisiblecell]

"you're staring"

#zosan #one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #zoro #sanji x zoro #zoro x sanji #one peice #my art #art #artists on tumblr #one piece live action #as usual open for proper viewing #i just think zoro would be interested in sanji's ability to sharpen knives #i love the going merry's galley #and apparently the ships are the repurposed black sail's ships so no wonder they're so beautiful on the outside too ahh #opla

[staticbluue]

HAPPY NEIL BANGING OUT THE TUNES DAY!!!

I usually don't manage anything more than a doodle for this international holiday, but this year Neil gets the colored, shaded piece he deserves!!

#neil banging out the tunes #btw i really enjoyed drawing neil and i have pet portrait commissions open #so if you like this drawing and have rats/know someone who has rats #please consider commissioning me 👉👈 #commissions open #artists on tumblr #digital art #illustration #animal art #rats #oh also he's playing out of touch #to be quite honest not for any tumblr reasons as it's not thursday #it's just my absolute favorite song #my art #fetch me neil #april 13 #4/13

[oopsorryagainagain]

A little of each 💕

#curvy girls #eat my pussy #girls who like girls #lick my pussy #sexy titts #soft girl #suck my tiddies #touch me #touch my pussy #artistic nude #wet ass pussy #hot as fuck #hot as hell #natural titts #huge titts #dms open #fuxk me #age pl4y #agepaly #cutie w a bootie #lgbtq #hot nude #dm me #nudity #big tiddy committee #i cant help it #tumblr girls #j #k #sexy content

[tentbrella]

everyone gets squidded on when i come in the room

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laois #marcille #chilchuck #izutsumi #senshi #kabru #mithrun #splatoon #umm slay it up guys #sorry i havent opened tumblr in a while #in back on that splatoonification bs #my art

[oliviadempseyart]

“STOPLICKINGTHEDAMNTHING”

Digital commissions open!

Painting 🎨 | Sketch ✍️

#oliviadempseyart #digital commissions open #artists on tumblr #bg3 #bg3 fanart #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #baldurs gate gale #a series of Gale drawings based on poses I saw on Pinterest that just felt so Gale lololol #this game is taking over my mind

[markmefistov]

⋆ ⁺ ‧ ₊☽ ◯| Shadowheart |◯ ☾₊ ‧ ⁺ ⋆

Idk, I think it looks good, hope the ladies will get as much love as boys or I cry. enjoy ;)

⋆⭒˚ .

Shadowheart | Lae'zel | Karlach | Minthara

Wyll | Asatrion | Gale | Halsin

⋆ ⭒˚.⋆ ˚ ⋆⭒˚. ⋆

Commissions: Open

#can you see what I did here.....? #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate fanart #shadowheart #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 companions #fanart #my art #bg3 fanart #artists on tumblr #illustration #digital art #art #dnd #fantasy art #commissions are open

[nyancrimew]

at the peak of my fevery delusions earlier i tried to explain to my wife how there is a "different shadow tumblr" that i accidentally accessed but can't anymore somehow and i wanted to get back on shadow tumblr

#she was getting rly concerned about me at that point #anyways i am on an ibu again now so doing a bit better #also i am pretty sure i just tried to open tumblr and opened a different app instead and thought it was a new tumblr

[furiousfinnstan]

Crowdfunding yet again 🫠

hello I will try to be brief,my sister is disabled and recently she got horrible news from her doctor that her reflexes have gotten worse,which means she will one day probably become paralyzed unless something is done(also her chronic pain is pretty severe rn which is another bad sign).now they want her to do a bunch of exams + physical therapy+ maybe new medication??we are looking at a bill close to 800€ tho honestly I dont know what's going to happen.the first paragraph you see is nothing but blood work and allegedly we will be able to get those for free so that's a relief.But I'm convinced thats not going to be all I'm scared for what's going to happen to her,I'm scared she will need to have surgery.also long covid is still fucking with me so yeah I'm don't think I will ever find work at this point🫠but who knows maybe I will be fine one day.I'm going to ask for 1200€ just to be safe tho dont be surprised if the amount rises or drops because I again I don't know what to expect with this,the extra money is in case we do need to pay for extra exams,blood work or bills etc

Goodbye for now 15.feb.2024

#b00st #q #sorry if I'm not explaining her condition well I don't fully grasp it... #helpme #disability #I was looking at starting a proper crowdfund but the only website I found that works for my country...seems suspicious to me idk #Ive never seen anyone use it #commission info #help #queue #art #artists on tumblr #commission art #commission sheet #commissions are open

[royaltea000]

Would you rather have a twink dad or lesbian daughter

#I have a big crush on chilchuck’s lesbian eldest daughter #I too am the eldest daughter mayjack we have so much in common #listen I haven’t gotten too far into dunmesh yet I dunno if they ever show what his wife looks like #doing on reverse genetics on anime characters #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck #chilchack #which is it I’ve seen it written as both #fullertom #packpatty #digital art #my art #commissions open #doodle #i just saw anime clips and heard his voice for the first time in both of them and I dunno man 😭 #whole time I’ve been hearing it as a more tenor grown man voice ya know??? #artists on tumblr #procreate #dungeon meshi fanart #delicious in dungeon fanart

[hardcoremagicalgirl]

Speothos Venaticus is now holding tryouts

#slaps a meme down and flees tumblr again #sorry i recieved so much psychic damage the last time i opened the app #elphelt valentine #ramlethal valentine #guilty gear #guilty gear strive #ggst