#i miss when he was morally gray and weird. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington · 3 months

Note

yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶

i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)

have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖

i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...

i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned

mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭

i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔

i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends

i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about

people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled

in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol

the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭

its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭

mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)

i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.

its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!

she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!

she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"

she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)

she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.

he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.

THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.

she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7

but again, those are the consequences of HER actions

her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭

their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"

its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!

you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)

everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.

obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.

the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"

she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!

just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.

im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!

im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.

i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!

i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process

talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol

i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭

its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.

all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.

i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.

also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!

thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!

#mia winters #resident evil #ethan winters #mithan

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justkennadi · 5 months

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What the boys got you for christmas 😍🎄‼️

Notes: Just a little something for christmas 😭👍🏾 i haven’t written anything else lately cause of work but that armin angst is still coming! But yeah, still merry Christmas!

Context: The following aot boys x black!fem reader. (not proofread😭)

Warnings: fluff aside from couple of cuss words and mention of getting high on plug!connie’s part

Characters: Armin, Eren, Connie, Jean and Reiner Bonus!: Nerd Armin and Plug!Connie

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Armin:

- Armin is so sweet.. From the moment u met him u knew he was a soft bookworm with a kind heart. He asked you to be his on valentine’s day by writing a letter confessing his feelings.

- You were happy to be his fr and you were really excited when y’all’s first christmas together came around.

- You got him this limited edition old dictionary, one of those fake aquariums from the 2000s, a fancy microscope and the entirety of his favorite book series.

- However when Christmas came and it was his turn you couldn’t have been more surprised.

- He got you multiple cute chanel coats and purses, a box of your favorite chocolate, a box of miss dior and an entire macbook😭😭😭

- “ARMIN?!?” You exclaim. “Since when ever was you rich????!?”

- And the boy just smiled at you and said he saved a bunch of money from his job but you didn’t really believe it.

- He also spent the whole day watching christmas movies and taking taking cute pictures together with you😚❤️❤️

Eren:

- You and Eren got officially together on Halloween after a party so you guys were still kinda new and tryna feel each other out.

- You knew he liked working out so you just got him some gray sweatpants, some protein crap and one of those flannel hoodies.

- This boy ended up getting you some uggs and one of those “The tote bag” bags and a bunch of bath and body work stuff

- He even got all your favorite scents, aw❤️

- Eren acted like he didn’t always listen or pay attention but he clearly was the whole time and it made your heart melt🥹

- Eren didn’t wanna do the sappy shit he did but he sure wasn’t gonna show it right now so he just hopped on the game and you happily watched for the rest of the day.

Connie:

- Connie and you spent yall first christmas together as not really a couple but that weird talking stage thing. You still counted tho cause you might as well be his gf🤷🏾‍♀️

- Connie was a goof ball fr so you didn’t really know what to get him. When it came down to the serious emotional stuff y’all just joked yall way out of it and so it was this weird limbo ish going on

- You settled on a nike jacket and a gift card to his favorite restaurant. You felt so bad cause it seemed like bare minimum but Connie was excited regardless!

- He said it’s the “thought that counts🥰😊” and all you could say after a few seconds was “Moral of the story headass..” and yall just busted out laughing

- Connie ended up getting you the brown faux jacket you saw and wanted from burlington, some pearl earrings and a necklace and a visa gift card with-

- “How much money is on here Con?”

- “$500.😗”

- WHAT?!!!2!@/

- You were expecting $50 or even $100 but $500? Half a band?

- “Yeah i didn’t know what to get u so…😗have fun!”

- You hugged him so hard and accidentally said he was the best boyfriend ever but when you pulled away to quickly apologize he just shushed you and said, “Anything for my beautiful girlfriend😌..”

Jean:

- You and jean got together in the summer after school let out. Jean didn’t talk much like Eren but he was a goof ball like Connie especially when he was around him.

- You didn’t have much to work with embarrassingly. It was gonna be y’all’s 6 month anniversary on christmas but you barely knew a thing about him!!

- You ended up getting him some polo club cologne, airpods and a plain black hoodie.

- When Christmas came around you received some jewelry, some of the makeup you use and a cute brown fluffy teddy bear 🧸❤️

- Y’all had a very chill christmas, Jean wanted to go for a walk so you went with naturally and y’all ended up witnessing a beautiful sunset❤️

Reiner:

- You and Reiner got together in spring. He asked you out by bringing you a bunch of flowers in a bouquet which was definitely on theme for spring time..

- Reiner also stayed to himself a little bit more but he was more open with you so you had a good idea of what he liked.

- You got you and him some matching pjs to wear for the holiday. You got him a couple of books since sometimes he would read, a fancy shaving kit, a couple of turtlenecks and a photo album of you guys first year together❤️

- You were really proud and happy of your gifts but then you saw he didn’t get you anything other than a bunch of replacements for the hair products you use.

- “Hold on i think i put your other gift over here….close your eyes real quick..”

- You sighed and closed your eyes. You prayed he wasn’t gonna put anything together out of nowhere. You were kinda disappointed but it was ok.

- You heard shuffling and then you could tell when he was right in front of you.

- “Ok, open.”

- When you opened your eyes yoy immediately took everything back.. what you saw was a kneeling reiner on one knee holding a gorgeous diamond ring 💍😍

- For christmas he gave you a proposal!!!

- Even though it was kinda early, to be honest you two were talking for a lil minute anyways so it still felt like proper timing.

- You guys planned your wedding for christmas eve as spent the rest of that day cuddling with him watching Christmas themed sit-comes

Bonus:

Nerd!Armin:

- You knew Nerd!Armin since you two were kids and over time feelings developed.. then it naturally blossomed into a relationship. It was kinda weird because as you two grew up you guys just slowly became girlfriend and boyfriend.

- Nerd!Armin had always been a bit brainy and a major science fan so it wasn’t hard to get him anything at all.

- You got him a brand new pc, plentyyyy of books especially the sci-fi types and some weird graphic tees.

- He smiled with his braces and handed you a louis vuitton purse that had some louis vuitton jewelry and perfume inside. Also a soft blanket with your favorite design/character on it, Dior makeup items and chocolates.

- “Where did you get the money to buy this? Cause all i see you do is watch youtube and science shit-“ You questioned in surprise.

- “Stocks..”

- You just shrugged cause you had no idea on what he was talking about but you were just happy this silly brainiac was yours for the holiday 🫶🏾

Plug!Connie:

- You and Connie started off as any other plug and customer. But then Connie started to catch feelings and by like August of this year he asked you to be his.

- He was very protective of you so by the time the holidays came around no one knew you two were a couple.

- He would always spoil you too with shopping sprees and paying for you to get your hair and nails did 💅🏾

- It was hard to think of what he’d want cause he could literally buy anything he wanted plus he didn’t really talk about himself much

- You settled on a couple of hoodies, one of those vape shark jackets and a game for his ps5.

- He ended up getting you a whole ass black Audi r8.

- Your jaw was on the floor 💀

- “Con, what the hellll..”

- “What? Y’don like it?”

- “I do but literally how??”

- “Ion know😗.”

- “Boy-“

- Connie never told you how he did it but he had proof it wasn’t stolen at least so 🙄

- He also got you a giant teddy bear and a new iphone.

- You kinda felt like your gifts were not the best compared to his but he assured you it was fine and he was grateful to have you regardless. ❤️

- You two ended up spending the rest of the day getting high and watching weird christmas movies no one talks about .

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eternal-curse · 6 months

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imagine if popular vampire media characters all had tumblr. that would be so hectic lol they’d have so much beef with each other

#this is about to be super out of character for all of them #but humor comes at a price

4 notes

👨🏻‍🦲 colin-robinson-69-420 Follow

Callout Post for @mag𝗂strate-murder (aka Astarion Ancunín)

@mag𝗂strate-murder (prev URL was @year-of-the-carr𝗂on-crow) has shown some absolutely vile, revolting, disgusting, toxic— sometimes downright evil— behavior on numerous (and lengthy!) occasions. This behavior has been repeated again and again. I would be willing to forgive and forget all of these things, IF they were first-time events or isolated incidents. They are NOT isolated incidents.

The list includes (but is not limited to):

Trying to attack his friends while they're peacefully slumbering.

The murder of countless (countless!) innocent people.

Theft. Maybe even robbery. Idfk.

Showing annoyance at the idea of saving entire groups of people from being enslaved or mass murdered. (These were two separate occasions... Yuck!)

I know I’m posting this at 8 o’cock, so many vampblr users may be currently asleep, but it’s my civic duty to provide information for the uh. The people at large. So there are more details, more moral crimes, and proof of all of the heinous actions this spawn has committed under the cut.

------------------------- read more -------------------------

🗡 magistrate-murder

I'm flattered. You just can't take me off of your mind, can you? Do you dream of me? I hope they're nightmares. 💕

🩸 blood-and-book-reviews Follow

I love how "theft" is directly between "killing innocent people" and "is chill with subjugation and mass murder"

🎸 the-vampire-queen

#did anyone else notice how they said 'moral crimes' #as if murder and theft and etc are legal? #lol? #weird... #<- prev's tags #my tags -> #YES OMG I NOTICED THAT TOO. #also what the eff? OP had to point out that astarion's a spawn? #why does it matter that he isn't a full vampire? #as someone who’s a vampire/demon hybrid that’s kind of a red flag to me :/ #ugh this is SO not math

12,987 notes

📚 j-harker

I’m missing @m𝗂ss-mina-murray. Currently out of the country for work.

💁🏼‍♀️ slayer-summers

Oh, I'm sorry :( At least the view is beautiful, where are you?

📚 j-harker

Transylvania. Why?

💁🏼‍♀️ slayer-summers

Get Out Of There Immediately Jonathan Harker Leave Get Out Now Get Out Go Leave Go Now

#buffy talks #slayer posting

548 notes

🎸 the-vampire-queen

I just learned about "vegan vampires." That's so stupid. Just eat the color red ???? It's NOT that hard

🎀 miss-draculaura

🎸 the-vampire-queen

I'll make an exception for you

🎀 miss-draculaura

1,600 notes

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

A preview of my upcoming book:

I am the vampire Lestat. I'm immortal. More or less. The light of the sun, the sustained heat of an intense fire-these things might destroy me. But then again, they might not.

I'm six feet tall, which was fairly impressive in the 1780s when I was a young mortal man. It's not bad now. I have thick blond hair, not quite shoulder length, and rather curly, which appears white under fluorescent light. My eyes are gray, but they absorb the colors blue or violet easily from surfaces around them. And I have a fairly short narrow nose, and a mouth that is well shaped but just a little too big for my face. It can look very mean, or extremely generous, my mouth. It always looks sensual. But emotions and attitudes are always reflected in my entire expression. I have a continuously animated face.

My vampire nature reveals itself in extremely white and highly reflective skin that has to be powdered down for cameras of any kind.

And if I'm starved for blood I look like a perfect horror- skin shrunken, veins like ropes over the contours of my bones. But I don't let that happen now. And the only consistent indi- cation that I am not human is my fingernails. It's the same with all vampires. Our fingernails look like glass. And some people notice that when they don't notice anything else.

Please, contain your excitement.

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

Who is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way?

💁🏼‍♀️ slayer-summers

Would you believe me if I told you we're still trying to figure that out?

#buffy talks #well ebony isn't real #but we still don't know who tara is

6,666 notes

🦇 cravensworth-king-of-bottoms

I've heard a rumor about this online webbed site; that is which it is filled to the brim with abstinants, celibates, and the like.

📸 liam-de-lioncunt Follow

Ugh... As much as I hate to use popular gifs, I feel compulsed to post this before anyone else does.

There. I did it first.

🦇 cravensworth-king-of-bottoms

Tonight, we FEAST. NYAH! HAH!

628 notes

🎸 the-vampire-queen

Just recorded this Mitski cover

youtube

6 notes

🧛🏻‍♂️ tepes-the-first

Why is it that when Gods demand blood, it's called a necessary sacrifice, but when I, Vlad Dracul,

💛 alucard

It's because you're evil.

🧛🏻‍♂️ tepes-the-first

For the last time, change your URL. Your name is Adrian.

📚 j-harker

I didn't know you had a son!

📚 j-harker

Wait, what was the original post about??

🧛🏻‍♂️ tepes-the-first

Don't worry about it.

📚 j-harker

Okay. :)

4,279 notes

💁🏼‍♀️ slayer-summers

I'm starting an emotional support group chat for slayers, does anyone want in?

💑 armand-de-la-cruz

Yes please!

⚔️ nandor-the-relentless-3

Guillermo?

⚔️ nandor-the-relentless-3

Why do you want to be in a vampire slayer group chat Guillermo??????

⚔️ nandor-the-relentless-3

Answer my texts Guillermo

63 notes

✨ edward-cullen Follow

My beautiful daughter. Looks just like her mother.

🍷 dimitrescu-winery

Get that wretched monstrosity of a child off of my screen.

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

wait, Ravioli is a real child? i thought she was just a photoshop meme of @the-vampire-lestat’s daughter Claudia?

6️⃣ vampire-count-er

What is the Vampblr number of the day? Let’s count the vampires of Tumblr above me in this post to find out!

Ah, that’s one vampire.

TWO! Two vampires!

THREE bloodsucking vampires! Ah ah ah!!

The number of the day is three!

7,012 notes

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

💀 real-carmilla

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

NO I TAKE IT BACK

CARMILLA I’M SORRY

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

BEGONE WHITE GIRL

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

please check your dms carmilla i sent you my address

1,982 notes

👨🏻‍🦲 colin-robinson-69-420 Sponsored by Blaze 🔥

The new The Vampire Lestat album sucks.

Get it? It sucks.

Because he’s a vampire.

It’s pretty funny, if you ask me.

#lestat de lioncourt #satan’s night out #the vampire lestat #vampblr #not a callout post

438 notes

🌙 werepire

Is no one going to talk about how problematic Marceline’s girlfriend is? Just because they’re both royalty doesn’t mean that Bonnibel can do whatever she wants with no repercussions.

I mean, here’s an article explaining all the horrible stuff she’s done [link]. Are we just going to pretend none of it happened?

👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 nadja-of-antipaxos

Hard agree. Down with the monarchies.

She can, however, do whatever she wants because she’s hot

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olichat-reads · 1 year

Text

Imagine | ProHero!Bakugou x Villain!Reader

a/n: i'm on the brink of a panic attack at 7am on a monday morning sO-

🌟

imagine prohero!bakugou x villain!reader BUT they're childhood bestfriends. and and they're STILL bestfriends despite everything. sure, nothing personal on the job and sure they go head to head sometimes but at the end of the day they're each other's safeplace and comfort.

its weird but it works.

its not everyday, but sometimes your paths cross while you're both on the job and bakugou, that bastard, NEVER holds back on you. and to be fair, neither do you. given that the two of you grew up and trained together, you were pretty evenly matched. both knowing each others' moves and strengths and weaknesses.

which essentially, you two took advantage of in attempts to murder each other on the job :D

"you used that move i suggested you try 🥺"

"hell yeah it fucking worked!"

"i know, katsu. my shoulder is dislocated."

":)"

"you're buying me ice cream, you ass."

the press has a field day whenever you go against each other- deeming you ✨️a r c h r i v a l s✨️. it sure was an ego boost when your bestfriend was the number one prohero. also you got to terrorize him with the media. win fucking win.

*dynamight slams you into a wall*

"ohh~ harder daddy~"

"STOP GIVING THEM IDEAS YOU FREAK"

"BUT I WANNA READ ALL THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS FANFICS LET ME HAVE THIS"

and the thing is. it didn't scare you, either of you, to let loose when you come face to face in a fight. you knew katsuki was strong as much as he knew how hard you worked to keep up to him. no one could come close to hurting either of you, besides each other and even then, you each could hold your own.

that didn't mean you don't get injured though. one of you stumbling into the others' apartment beat up was way too common of an occurence with the nature of your professions.

"red riot hit me so hardddddd"

"tsk. thats on you. could've gone against me but you had to test your luck with red."

"BITCH STFU WE BOTH KNOW YOU'D FUCK ME UP WORSE THAN ANYONE ON THE FIELD-"

"of course i would. gotta try to knock some fucking sense into lil miss villain somehow. now come here let me see your ribs, they're probably bruised."

"AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT"

"yours."

"YOU- OW FUCK. KATSU GENTLE-"

"calm down you baby. you got stabbed last week and you're whining about some bruised ribs."

"I HAVE A LOW PAIN TOLERANCE YOU ASS BE NICE TO ME"

as much fun as it is smack each other in the vicinity of a public audience, you enjoy the occasional mission where you were both on the same team. perks of being a morally gray villain- you're flexible like that.

it should be noted though- you two're somehow even WORSE than when you fight each other. the amount of unhinged chaos should be a public and health hazard.

"we have a problem..."

"let me guess. you caused it."

"you have no faith in me. i'm offended."

"answer the question. did you?"

"...i did."

"and you ask me why i don't believe in you. fucking die, tinkerbell."

">:O"

"whats our escape plan?"

"our what :D"

"omg we're going to die."

"HOHO WE LIVED BITCH!"

"YOU COULD'VE WARNED ME BEFORE YOU YEETED ME OUT THE FUCKING PLANE YOU PSYCHOPATH"

"WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT D:"

the two of you don't actively try to hide the nature of your jobs and relationship with each other outside work- you don't bother pretending. he's a hero, you're a villain and both of you were bestfriends. as simple as that.

it makes life way more fun, you think.

🌟

a/n: this is fun i might add more to this hehe

#bakugou x reader #bakugou fluff #oliwrites

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bonefall · 7 months

Note

former dotc fan here and no seriously my current theory is that the book is so fucked up and weird that some of our brains literally force us to remember it differently just so we dont have to Deal with the memory of that shit

I've talked about it before but like, I watched this video on Ratatouille where the reviewer was baffled by this odd phenomenon. They kept asking people a very direct question;

"Does Ratatouille, the film, say that stealing is ever okay?"

If you've watched the film even slightly critically, you will know that the answer to this question is No. In fact, the film is bizarrely committed to this idea, punishing Remy constantly for taking food that wouldn't even be missed (such as some forgotten bread crumbs in the back room, as a party goes on outside).

Even when he's starving, even after he's done labor, even when Linguini is careless about Remy's needs. He is only allowed to eat unburdened when the humans give him permission.

But over and over, the respondents say, "Yes, the film says stealing is okay sometimes."

And I think about that constantly when the DOTC discussion comes up.

The books fucking hate adoption. They say, over and over and over and over, that your abusive, neglectful, or dead bioparents are innately superior to adopted ones. It treats women as less than men, slaughtering upwards of 7 female characters to serve male arcs. Gray Wing is utterly oblivious, unable to tell that Storm isn't interested in him romantically and incapable of being objective about how demonic his brother is acting.

Maybe it's because these ideas are SO bad that your brain just kinda paves over it. Especially when something else resonates about the property. Your own internal moral system just bowls through it.

Who knows, though. That's just my theory.

#dotc hate #bone babble

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chuplayswithfire · 6 months

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re the ask about stede not doing enough to make up for ditching ed - did it not balace out that ed tortured his crew for weeks and tried to kill lucius? idk why everybody is woobifying ed as if being sad or having a hard life is a justification for any of the shit he did like he has autonomy and chooses to behave the way he does when stede leaves. same goes for blaming all of eds actions on izzy as if izzy forced him to do anything? i think its weird and doesn’t do justice to his intentionally morally gray dimensional flawed character

okay so anon you are bringing up multiple things and conflating them, i think so let's take this one bit at a time

re the ask about stede not doing enough to make up for ditching ed - did it not balace out that ed tortured his crew for weeks and tried to kill lucius?

so first, let's be clear: ed's actions towards other people do NOT balance out stede's actions towards ed. that's uhhhh not how it works. when it comes to if stede did enough to make up for ghosting ed, that is a situation resolved only within ed and stede's personal relationship. stede leaving doesn't justify ed being callous and later cruel to the crew, but likewise, ed being callous and later cruel to the crew doesn't mean stede didn't owe something to ed if he wanted their relationship to work.

now let me further say that...i don't think that ed tortured (members of) stede's crew for weeks. in fact, i don't think he's physically harmed any of the crew aside from izzy, and I would argue that his dynamic with izzy is it's own special beef. if anything, i would say that between season 1 episode 10 and season 2 episode 1, ed's been a classic overachieving boss pushing his staff to the breaking point by having them work long shifts with no breaks and low pay.

this is not good, by the way, i am not saying he is being a good boss; kraken ed is fully that shithead boss who schedules 13 hour days and thinks a pizza party or donuts in the lounge make up for it. izzy tells him morale is low and he asks if they got cake, and then if they want drugs. the crew does not describe being worn down from specific fear of ed - they are worn down by day after day after day of endless raids without breaks; all the worst parts of piracy (the raids, the violence, the death) with none of the benefits (the break time between targets, the shore leave, getting paid).

again i say this is not good because it's not, but also, i think the fandom has marinated in this idea that because ed took izzy's toe he'd be doing all kinds of violence to the rest of the crew, and s2e1 doesn't really bare that out. they're shocked and horrified that he actually shoots izzy, and none of them are missing bits - in fact, the behavior is apparently so unique to izzy that they think izzy and ed have a toxic relationship. if it was any of them getting that, it wouldn't be an intervention getting plotted.

(he did for sure try to kill lucius though, which is why i'm glad lucius got to dump him overboard lol. lucky lucius. izzy tried to kill stede twice and stede didn't even get to stab him once.)

idk why everybody is woobifying ed as if being sad or having a hard life is a justification for any of the shit he did like he has autonomy and chooses to behave the way he does when stede leaves.

now half the fandom is woobifying ed because we love him and like him and also because the other half of the fandom is wildly racist about him so.

but, also, it's important context that the showrunner describes ed's actions as "a bit much" and "not entirely inappropriate". in the context of their environment, most of what ed did is not that shocking or stunning; he has hurt people, but even the people he hurt move on from it relatively soon, and we can see from spanish jackie (who doesn't give her employees enough money to pursue their own ambitions/perfectly fine with killing a husband to remove an obstacle) and ned low (literally all of that in episode 6) and izzy (in the like ten minutes he was captain and forced people to season his food and threatening folks with going hungry for laughing at him) that pirate captains are, generally, pretty shit, actually.

roach and archie at various points express sentiments that show this is all pretty normal for pirates; it's not that ed wasn't a dick, it's that he wasn't uniquely evil or fucked up. it's also that his behavior is sympathetic to many people because the show makes it abundantly clear that he's incredibly depressed and suicidal, and while it's definitely NOT okay to hurt people because you're in a bad way, the show is definitely more geared towards "even when you do all that fucked up shit, you still can be deserving of love and compassion if you reach for it" rather than "if you do fucked up shit you instantly are on the death list".

same goes for blaming all of eds actions on izzy as if izzy forced him to do anything? i think its weird and doesn’t do justice to his intentionally morally gray dimensional flawed character

izzy's not responsible for ed's actions in the sense that he put a gun to ed's head during every move, but he plays a critical role in making all that shit happen. it's like how stede wouldn't have ghosted ed if chauncey hadn't of dragged him out of bed - the festering self hatred that chauncey tapped into was there in stede, but he wouldn't have given in without a jolt from his past. the festering self hatred in ed wouldn't have broiled over into the kraken without izzy, but that was all still in ed.

izzy is pivotal in all that shit happening. if izzy hadn't of come in and jabbed ed in every sore spot he had and been a huge homophobia ridden pest that *also* threatened ed if he continued behaving in a way izzy didn't like, ed wouldn't have gone all kraken.

however, ed still DID go all kraken, so like, yeah, he did that shit. izzy is the explanation for why he did, but it's ed who did it so he has to make amends.

but also like ed is only as morally gray as literally everyone else. frenchie and roach are both in full support of torture. jim fully tried to kill a guy for throwing a glass at archie. all of them are professional murderers who make their living being the absolute living nightmares of people who are just living their lives doing their thing.

ed isn't any more morally gray than anyone else, but it's very weird how people try to make it out like ED is the intentionally morally gray character when it's just that this is a show about professional violent criminals, so the show doesn't really moralize about acts of violence.

now taking it back to the top though:

nothing ed did to the crew would change stede's need to re-earn ed's trust for ghosting him without a word and not being honest about his feelings and doubts. if ed wanted stede to atone for that, that would be ed's right as a person in the relationship - just like it would be the right of frenchie, archie, jim, or fang to want to ed to do something more before they offered their forgiveness. the fucked up shit you do to other people does not retroactively justify the fucked up shit someone else did to you. stede doesn't get a get out of the doghouse free card for ghosting ed just because ed was a dick to other people; he gets a get out of the doghouse free card because ed decides to forgive him and try again.

#ofmd #fandom fuckery #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd s2 spoilers

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spidersmiceandeverythingnice · 11 months

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Oooo anyway I just remember why I Hate and Loathe the big High Lord meeting in ACOWAR and why it fully cements SJM in my Worst Authors category for like a billion reasons

1. Feyre refuses to bow to the Dawn Court. Weird choice and completely fucking awkward to read - I guess this is meant as some kind of Girlboss Moment - like "no, I won't bow to the stinky old fashioned MEN!!!! who run this world. My super hot boyfriend gave me this title and I'm the master of the universe now." But it's... childish. Also? Way to disrespect Thesan but this is going to become a pattern because of course the gay Asian High Lord has no special powers apart from super good healing that literally every other character can accomplish, and of course he's gentle, and passive (ultimately willing to "bow [to Rhysand] if the other [High Lords] will") and of course his lover has no name and never speaks. Great! Hate it.

2. Morrigan and Vivian. On paper this seems interesting as far as a relationship goes like - what kind of interesting Court relations did Night have pre Amarantha and can those bonds be salvaged? But instead of asking those questions the scene decides to immediately undercut Vivian's character as a badass general and warrior who defended Winter in her childhood friend/future husband's absence by making her squeal like a literal 13 year old when the Night Court - who is suspected of murdering 24 children - shows up. Vivian proceeds to throw a fit and snarks about wanting to be a High Lady. Rip Vivian we hardly knew ye.

3. Do I even need to talk about Helion being the worst bisexual rep. Do I even need to say it. Good lord.

4. Do I even need to talk about Fantasy China and Helion being allied with the Faerie Confederates. Do I even need to explain this. It gets worse, somehow!

5. Tamlin and Tarquin actually have a case against allying with the Night Court given literally everything that happened in the last two books but this isn't painted as reasonable distrust of a group of lying backstabbing sycophants who purposefully play up their cruelty and keep secrets from the other Courts. No, of course not. Tarquin immediately forgives the Night Court because he has no backbone whatsoever apparently. Tamlin is considered unreasonable for not trusting Feyre and Rhys, who have continuously tried to hurt him and his people and undermine his authority as High Lord.

6. Everyone immediately forgets that Rhysand worked for Amarantha for 50 years and distrusts Tamlin, who has worked for Hybern for all of five minutes and also brings tons of information on their troop movements and positions, confirming that all of his so called alliance was a fraud and he's been spying on them the whole time.

7. Literally the whole fucking deal with the Winter Court. Like I'm sorry that Rhys is so sexual traumatized by Amarantha but children fucking died in a horrible, gruesome way that now, nobody can be accountable for. This is on my top 3 of most egregious SJM retcons because I'm supposed to believe that some daemati we've never heard of before, is never mentioned or seen again, is supposedly the missing link to absolve Rhysand of the fact that he murdered 24 children in book one and devastated the Winter Court. Give me a fucking break. And Feyre gets so SAD and hurt when Rhys says he was confined to Amarantha’s bedroom, but I guess dead kids in Winter and Spring are just the price you pay for loving a morally gray bryonic hero uwu. I'd say, "Get fucked," but i think Rhys and Feyre would enjoy that too much.

8. When the Autumn Court says mean things it makes them irredeemable, but when Azriel and Feyre break all the rules of magic and physically retaliate and hurt other people, it's a-okay, and totally justified! Oh, the Lady of Autumn (another unnamed, sad silent [white] victim who only exists for Helion to angst over) gets hurt by virtue of being a bystander? Totally cool and normal, and since she's been a victim of domestic violence before, it means that she's a secret good guy who will totally understand and forgive Feyre for her totally justifiable outburst. Fuck off.

9. Feyre speaking to and ordering Azriel around like a literal rabid dog. Do I even need to explain this and why its bad. Do I even need to say it.

10. This scene was a joke and everything about it was a stinking trash fire.

#anti sjm #anti acowar #like.... do i need to explain the racism and homophobia?? the misogyny???? i hope not

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nyxshadowhawk · 11 months

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Art and Hedonism

Dorian Gray Weekly is over, so it’s finally time for me to post my analysis of my favorite gothic novel!

On the surface, The Picture of Dorian Gray seems to be a tragedy about what happens when you give yourself over to self-indulgence and sin. Dorian has been granted eternal youth so as to live out all his passions, and he spends his life becoming progressively more depraved until his conscience weighs upon him to the point of madness, and he destroys his own horcrux. Hedonism is bad, right? But it’s a little counter-intuitive for such a moral to come from Oscar Wilde. Why would Oscar Wilde, of all people, write a story that seems to condemn hedonism? Well… I don’t think he does. The book just doesn’t read that way. It’s a luxuriously self-indulgent, sensual book! I wouldn’t like it so much if it boiled down to “hedonism is bad.”

I think that this book is a metatextual critique of Wilde’s own philosophy. The Picture of Dorian Gray is not really about beauty, or pleasure, or sin. It is about art. It is about the nature of art and it’s relationship to the artist, and to the audience. It is a cautionary tale not about the dangers of hedonism, but the dangers of taking art too seriously. At least, that seems to be what it is according to its author. I’m not saying that I know definitively what the author’s intentions were, or that authors’ interpretations of their work are the only true and correct ones. Ultimately, an author’s interpretation of his or her own work is just one interpretation among many, and any true piece of art can be interpreted many different ways. But, looking at Dorian Gray through the lens of its own author might be the best way to answer this question. So, I am going to analyze that. For fun!

At first glance, Wilde’s preface doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the story. It’s a really short philosophical argument. Actually, it reads more like a pretentious internet comment, by making a bunch of beautifully-worded controversial claims and then sitting back and waiting for you to respond to them, almost as if it’s daring you to argue.

The artist is the creator of beautiful things. To reveal art and conceal the artist is art’s aim. The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.

[…]

It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors. Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree, the artist is in accord with himself. We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely. All art is quite useless.

There’s a lot more philosophical rambling that I cut out, but the short of it is this — art exists for its own sake. It exists to be admired, to be enjoyed. It exists to be beautiful, and that’s it. Anything that anyone else gets from it is simply what they get from it, and it says more about them than it does about the art. Creating art for any other primary purpose misses the point, if it isn’t outright dangerous.

Now, generally in literary analysis it’s a faux pas to psychoanalyze the author based on their work (which Wilde would probably agree with, since he writes that art should “conceal the artist”). There’s a lot of weird philosophy in this book, mostly put forth by the character of Lord Henry Wotton. Although Wilde identifies Lord Henry as something of a caricature of himself, we cannot say whether anything Lord Henry says is what Wilde really thinks. But this? The preface is written without the voice of a character or the context of a story. This is the author speaking as himself, in his own words, and therefore we can conclude that this is what he really thinks. That means that the only thing we can really say about Wilde and his philosophy based on this book alone comes from this preface.

Why is this preface even here? Why is it attached to this book? It might just be a futile attempt to cover his own ass, since he says things like “There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book” and “Vice and virtue are to the artist materials for an art.” That’s basically facing down the inevitable controversy that this book generated and saying, “don’t look at me, it’s just a story. It’s your fault for taking it seriously.” But, we could also use it as a framework within which to interpret the following story. Or, actually, wait, we’re not supposed to interpret it because it exists for its own sake, right? But why else would the this be the preface to Dorian Gray, if the story wasn’t meant to prove the preface’s point?

One more bit of metatextual content I want to bring up: Wilde said this about his characters:

Basil Hallward is what I think I am: Lord Henry what the world thinks me: Dorian what I would like to be — in other ages, perhaps.

(I am way too proud of this outdated meme.)

So, all three of Dorian Gray’s main characters are meant to represent the author himself from various perspectives. Basil, the innocent and lovelorn painter, is how Wilde perceives himself. Lord Henry is how society perceives Wilde; he smoothly makes controversial philosophical statements about hedonism and beauty and whatnot, but doesn’t actually believe most of what he’s saying. And what a cryptic thing to say about Dorian, the naive-boy-turned-corrupt libertine. I guess I could interpret that as Wilde saying that he’d theoretically like to have the sheer daring and shamelessness needed to actually live out all of Henry’s philosophies. So… if that’s the case, then that puts a big question mark over Dorian’s entire character. If the message of the book is “hedonism is bad,” then why would Wilde want to be Dorian, even hypothetically? Dorian’s depravity is clearly a bad thing, right? Why would Wilde write him that way, then?

Because the book’s moral isn’t about hedonism, it’s about art.

Wilde warns the reader, “All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their peril.” But… that’s exactly what I plan to do. Sorry, Oscar.

So, let’s actually talk about the story now.

The Picture of Dorian Gray is a weirdly paradoxical work for the reasons I just spelled out — it seems like it should be condemning hedonism, but it doesn’t quite. It seems like it is a story about a man whose life steadily ruined by pleasure-seeking at the expense of all else, and yet… it’s just so decadent, this book. It’s full of philosophy about hedonism and the nature of good and evil, and it’s hard to tell just how much is espoused by its author and how much is condemned. Often the philosophy comes through Lord Henry, but sometimes it’s just there in the narration. And I love this book for that reason. I love thinking about stuff like that, so much. I love that this book practically smells like opium and tastes like rich chocolate.

The reason why I’m so interested in Wilde’s relationship to his own work here is because I agree with a lot of the philosophy presented in it. I know that Dorian Gray is being corrupted by Lord Henry’s influence, and I can see how that happens. But… still. This book is interesting to me because it seems to simultaneously espouse and decry the philosophy presented in it, which is why I think it’s a critique. “Let’s let this philosophy play a bit, and see what it does.” What if someone really did live the kind of life that Wilde himself was accused of living? When is hedonism healthy, and when is it not? Where are the limits?

Henry is Wilde’s caricature of himself. A lot of readers hate him for just how infuriating he is. All Lord Henry really does is spout controversial and kind of offensive statements. I’m sure we all know at least one person like that on the internet. Henry’s like the super intellectual version of a troll; he just says stuff to make people deeply uncomfortable and see how they’ll react. But he’s also persuasive — he’s a Mephistophelian character with a “low, musical” voice. He views Dorian almost like a science experiment. He admits that influence is evil, but then actively goes after an impressionable and naive boy to turn him into… well, whatever that portrait looked like in the last chapter. In chapter 2, he makes a long speech about how a man should “live out his life fully and completely […] give form to every feeling, expression to every thought, reality to every dream.” In short, screw Victorian morality. Life is to be experienced, so drink deeply of all it has to offer instead of wasting it constraining yourself. His best line, in my opinion, is:

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.

—Chapter 2

I kind of agree with this. Kind of. I do think that temptation is impossible to resist. The more you attempt to repress your desires, the more intensely you feel those desires. The best thing to do to avoid being tempted by genuinely dangerous things is to either satisfy the temptation using some safer outlet (or otherwise redirect it), or to avoid potential temptations altogether. The second line of this quote makes it clear that what Henry is really saying here is, “don’t let society’s stupid restrictions keep you from living your best life.”

And… yeah. If society shames you for being gay, whip out the rainbow colors! A lot of things (especially “sexual deviancy”) are only “temptations” because society and culture says that they’re wrong, not because they’re actually morally wrong. That’s an important distinction. We’ll get back to that. I believe that the difference between a temptation and a desire is that you can only be tempted by something dangerous and forbidden. If feeling lust as a young woman or man is considered morally wrong, then sex is a “temptation” — as soon as it’s considered a normal part of existing as a human, then it’s suddenly not a “temptation,” it’s just desire, and is a lot easier to deal with. You can find a safe outlet for it without feeling any shame, and without making any dumb mistakes out of sheer desperation.

Another thing Harry says is,

The aim of life is self-development. To realize one’s nature perfectly — that is what each of us is here for.

—Chapter 2

Yes! I have no argument here. None at all. However, reading between the lines, it seems as though Harry’s definition of “realizing one’s nature perfectly” is just experiencing everything in life and living it to its fullest, literally without distinguishing between good and bad experiences, or good and evil deeds. “Every experience is of value,” he says at one point. I don’t define self-development this way. My definition is complete self-awareness. If you’re self-aware, then you can be as self-indulgent as you want because you know where your limits are. Drinking at a party is fine, but you have to know your alcohol tolerance.

Dorian buys into this philosophy pretty hard. By chapter 11, his whole life has become one of pleasure, and… I’m still not disagreeing with a lot of the philosophy put forth by this novel:

The worship of the senses has often, and with much justice, been decried, men feeling a natural instinct of terror about passions and sensations that seem stranger than themselves […] But it appeared to Dorian Gray that the true nature of the senses had never been understood, and that they had remained savage and animal merely because the world had sought to starve them into submission or to kill them by pain, instead of aiming at making them elements of a new spirituality, of which a fine instinct for beauty was to be the dominant characteristic.

—Chapter 11

This is why I love this novel. I agree with this too. I have a fine instinct for beauty myself. Here, Dorian considers that maybe people in his society consider sensuality to be animalistic and savage only because they haven’t engaged with it at all, so it appears strange and dangerous. I also think that sensuality has been unfairly demonized for far too long, sometimes to the point where enjoying anything is sinful. I think it’s important to confront one’s passions (i.e. desires and emotions) and find a way to deal with them that’s both safe and satisfying. Like Dorian, I don’t have much patience for asceticism, or at least for the notion that it’s the most moral and spiritual way to live one’s life. Dorian attends church sometimes just out of curiosity, just becuase he finds it enjoyable or interesting, and he jumps around between different spiritualities the same way he collects jewels, textiles, and perfume:

But he [Dorian] never fell into the error of arresting his intellectual development by any formal acceptance of creed or system […] no theory of life seemed to him to be of any importance compared with life itself. […] He knew that the senses, no less than the soul, have their spiritual mysteries to reveal.

—Chapter 11

I feel called out by this. This concept of jumping around between different belief systems, using belief as a tool… that’s basically Chaos Magic in a nutshell. “Nothing is true, everything is permitted” definitely sounds like something Lord Henry would say. And I certainly don’t think that sensuality and spirituality are mutually exclusive, in fact, I think that the former can be a means of experiencing the latter. I worship Dionysus, for crying out loud. Often, the answer I give when someone on the internet asks me why I believe in magic or gods or anything else without evidence is “it’s fun,” i.e. pleasure.

And yet… my life could not be more different from Dorian’s. Perhaps the darkest part of my mind is something like Dorian, but in real life, I look like a stereotypical Victorian ingenue who’s always the first to die in a gothic novel like this one, and I’m quite pure and unsullied. I don’t do anything but sit in my dorm room and write on the internet all day. At parties, I freeze up and don’t speak to anyone. I’m still not much of a drinker, despite having been legally allowed to drink for several years now. My only real vice is sugar. I have no love life or sex life. I value pleasure becuase I can’t enjoy myself for the life of me, because I worry about everything all the time and waste energy on it. I’m not Dorian, and that’s probably why I can get away with hedonism.

Here’s the thing about our protagonist: he takes Harry much more seriously than he should. Harry doesn’t actually believe what he’s saying. He just says stuff, to be controversial and shocking. That’s what he does. But Dorian buys it, hard. Harry’s waxing lyrical about how there’s nothing in the world but youth and Dorian has the whole world at his fingertips because he’s pretty, makes Dorian obsessively concerned with his appearance. He barters his soul on a whim. And, then he proceeds to live the kind of lifestyle that Harry advocates for but doesn’t have the balls to actually commit to. Dorian is beautiful, rich, and able to do whatever he likes, which he often does. He has it all, but the truth is, he’s not really getting anything out of any experience. He goes through life like a passive spectator. This is probably because of the hedonism paradox, but it could also be because Dorian uses hedonism and collecting beautiful things as a means of escapism:

For these treasures, and everything that he collected in his lovely house, were to be to him a means of forgetfulness, modes by which he could escape, for a season, from the fear that seemed to him at times to be almost too great to bear.

— Chapter 11

Congratulations, Dorian, you ruined it for yourself.

I like beautiful things. I have more resin statues than I have space for. I have more perfumes than I actually wear. I spend a lot of my free time scrolling through artwork on Pinterest. I genuinely like museums and ballets and operas. I like dressing up in fancy Goth outfits even without an occasion. I like soft blankets. I like neoclassical music. I like decorating for holidays and making elaborate table displays and giving everything a distinctive theme. I deeply appreciate beauty. I don’t think it poisons me. I collect all these things because they make me happy, and that’s all. I think that happiness or pleasure is a worthy goal for its own sake.

But it has to be for its own sake, not for the sake of avoiding your problems, or to ignore the feeling of your sins crawling on your back. It’s like the difference between having a few drinks at a party for the fun of it, and becoming an alcoholic because you can’t come to terms with your psychological issues. Collect beautiful things because they make you happy, not because you hope they might fill the gaping void in your soul left behind by a portrait. Dorian definitely isn’t happy:

I have never searched for happiness. Who wants happiness? I have searched for pleasure.

—Chapter 18

Dorian’s whole life has been what I call “empty pleasure,” pleasure that is ultimately unfulfilling because it’s covering up a problem instead of being enjoyed for its own sake. If you indulge for the sake of avoiding something, you’re not enjoying the thing for what it is, you’re just desperately trying to take your mind off the thing you want to avoid nagging at the back of your brain, and the result is that you can’t really enjoy anything. Another example is gorging yourself on a delicious feast because it’s delicious, as opposed to binge eating. Or having sex with several people that you feel genuine affection for, as opposed to people you can’t even remember the names of. “Empty pleasure” is bad for the soul, but pleasure itself is not. The threat of “empty pleasure” is what has caused pleasure itself to be demonized for so long. It’s not the pleasure that’s bad, it’s the avoidance. Pleasure can’t be spiritual at all if its so superficial. Dorian’s hedonism is hollow and meaningless, so it corrupts his soul.

Confront your damn problems, don’t lock them in your attic! Once you’ve done that, you can really get the most out of life.

Thank you for allowing me all of that gratuitous philosophizing. Where was I? Oh, right — this book is a warning about art. Right.

Lord Henry’s last real contribution to Dorian’s corruption is giving him the mysterious “yellow book.” The “yellow book” is often speculated to be À rebours by Joris-Karl Huysmans. The book itself doesn’t really matter; what matters is the effect that it has on Dorian in-universe. It cements his hedonistic philosophy that had already been implanted by Lord Henry, and it seems to really drive him over the edge.

Dorian Gray had been poisoned by a book. There were moments when he looked on evil simply as a mode through which he could realize his conception of beauty.

— Chapter 11

So, there is no good and evil, only beauty. Dorian doesn’t really have a concept of good and evil anymore, just experiences in life, just whether things are beautiful or not. This is another pretty big problem with Dorian’s approach towards hedonism — he has no moral compass.

This idea that the book is “poisonous” seems to directly contradict the point that Wilde makes in the preface. “There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.” Why the contradiction? Dorian has made the mistake of taking art too seriously. The yellow book is “poisonous” not because of anything about the book itself, but because of how Dorian responds to it — because he takes it too seriously. The book wouldn’t be immoral if he just enjoyed it at face-value and didn’t take it to heart, would it? The fact that he becomes so obsessed with it is another nail in his coffin.

The first nail in the coffin comes much earlier. The scene where Dorian dumps Sibyl is critical. First, there’s Sibyl’s explanation of her perspective on her art:

The painted scenes were my world. I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought them real. You came — oh, by beautiful love! — and you freed my soul from prison. You taught me what reality really is. The stillness of the empty pageant in which I had always played. […] You had brought me something higher, something of which all art is but a reflection. You had made me understand what love really is. My love! My love! Prince Charming! Prince of life! I have grown sick of shadows. You are more to me than all art can ever be.

— Chapter 7

Until she met Dorian, Sibyl had been living through her plays. She quite literally “became” Juliet or Ophelia or whoever she was playing inside her mind, completely suspending her disbelief, because she just didn’t have much of a life outside of her acting. This made her a phenomenal actress, because watching an actor who’s that immersed in their role is also immersive for the audience. But when she met Dorian, life suddenly became more real to her and more meaningful to her than art. Sibyl completely lost that suspension of disbelief, and her acting skills along with it.

Dorian dumps her for saying so, in the most brutal way possible:

…you have killed my love. You used to stir my imagination, Now you don’t even stir my curiosity. You simply produce no effect. I loved you because you were marvellous, because you had genius and intellect, because you realized the dreams of great poets and gave shape and substance to the shadows of art. You have thrown it all away. You are shallow and stupid. My God! how mad I was to love you! What a fool I have been! You mean nothing to me now. I will never see you again. I will never think of you. […] Without your art, you are nothing. […] A third-rate actress with a pretty face.

Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. Both Sibyl and Dorian have made the fatal mistake of taking art too seriously. On Sybil’s end, she’s been living through her art in a way that’s unhealthy. She doesn’t have a life or an identity beyond the persona that she adopts on stage. It’s like if your entire life was online, and the only people you’ve ever been in love with are fictional characters, and you didn’t have any life to speak of beyond that — oh. Okay, well, at least I have a sense of myself. Sibyl doesn’t have an identity of her own, so she borrows her identity from Shakespeare characters. Dorian, meanwhile, has fallen in love with this false identity. He doesn’t actually care about the person Sibyl actually is, because there’s nothing really there. When Sibyl feels like she’s finally found herself and become a person, Dorian is disgusted with her because she can no longer act, and she’s no longer interesting to him. Sibyl became an art piece and Dorian loved that art piece, not the person beneath.

This scene is so often misrepresented in adaptations. In most adaptations, the breakup is Harry’s fault, usually through giving him bad romance advice and teaching him to devalue women. For example, in the 2009 adaptation, Harry tempts Dorian to go to a brothel instead of seeing Sibyl perform, and Sibyl is concerned that she’s just another whore to Dorian. That becomes the focus of their breakup. Blaming the breakup on Harry makes it about hedonism; Sibyl feeling like Dorian is exploiting her for sex makes it about hedonism. It’s not about hedonism, it’s about art, which relates back to the preface. In the book, the breakup is entirely Dorian’s fault. It’s also the first time we see any real cruelty out of Dorian, which is then reflected by the portrait. Because this has nothing to do with Harry’s influence, I consider it proof that Dorian was never really that good of a person to begin with. He completely lacks empathy for Sibyl.

This is what results in tragedy. Sibyl commits suicide because she’s the pretty and innocent blond ingenue who’s always the first to die in a gothic novel, and Dorian officially begins his downward slide. Sibyl’s death is absolutely Dorian’s fault in every way. He doesn’t dive headfirst into hedonism until after that happens, and his hedonism is “empty” because he’s trying to numb the pain of Sibyl’s death. And it’s all downhill from there.

When Basil finally comes to see Dorian again, he’s appalled by Dorian’s reputation. Apparently, everything Dorian touches rots from the inside, so to speak. Sibyl becomes the first of many. Every person he’s involved with ends up too ashamed to show themselves in public, if they don’t commit suicide.

“…you were a man whom no pure-minded girl should be allowed to know, and whom no chaste woman should sit in the same room with. […] Why is your friendship so fatal to young men?” [Basil proceeds to describe several men whom Dorian was “inseparable” with who then ended up with disgraced reputations.] They say that you corrupt everyone with whom you become intimate.”

— Chapter 12

Dorian’s reputation is so sordid that all of the young women and men who become intimate with Dorian (interesting word choice) all end up ruined in some way or another. The same is said of Alan Campbell, the young chemist Dorian blackmails into deposing of Basil’s body. Apparently, they were “almost inseparable, indeed. Then the intimacy had come suddenly to an end.” Do I really need to spell this out? What does Dorian blackmail Allan with? We don’t know. It’s never said. But it’s heavily implied to be something about the very gay stuff that they almost definitely did together.

But — and this is one of the things that made the book so scandalous for its time — Dorian isn’t depraved because he’s bi. He’s just a bad person, and all of the poor young people who become involved with him suffer for it. Other characters in the story who are implied to be queer are not depicted as being evil. Basil, the most unambiguously gay character in the novel, is also one of the most innocent and the most undeserving of Dorian’s cruelty. Alan, too, is an innocent victim of Dorian, whatever he and Dorian might have done together in the past. During the scene in which Dorian blackmails Alan, his behavior implies that he is abusive as a partner, even outside the extraordinary circumstance of covering up a murder. Specifically, the “you made me do this” lines that he keeps throwing at Alan:

I tried to spare you. You will do me the justice to admit that. You were stern, harsh, offensive. You treated me as no man has ever dared to treat me—no living man, at any rate. I bore it all. Now it is for me to dictate terms.

— Chapter 14

How many other people has Dorian treated like this? How many of his lovers has he gaslit into believing that his abuse is their fault? How many people has he threatened with social ruin if they don’t do what he wants? (His own reputation can’t get any worse, after all.) He gives Alan a “look of pity,” as if to say, “this will hurt you way more than it hurts me.” Until the very end, Dorian seems completely oblivious (perhaps willingly so) to the effect that his actions have on other people, or worse, he actively enjoys it.

So, that brings me to Basil Hallward. Poor, poor Basil.

Basil knows his fatal flaw, and here we come back to taking art too seriously:

Dorian, from the moment I met you, your personality had the most extraordinary influence over me. I was dominated, soul, brain, and power, by you. You became to me the visible incarnation of that unseen ideal whose memory haunts us like an exquisite dream. I worshipped you. […] I was only happy when I was with you. When you were away from me, you were still present in my art…. […] One day, a fatal day I sometimes think, I determined to paint a wonderful portrait of you as you actually are, not in the costume of dead ages, but in your own dress and your own time. […] …I know that as I worked on it, every flake and film of colour seemed to me to reveal my secret. I grew afraid that others would know of my idolatry. I felt, Dorian, that I had told too much, that I had put too much of myself into it. […] Well, after a few days the thing left my studio, and as soon as I had gotten rid of the intolerable fascination of its presence, it seemed to me that I had been foolish in imagining that I had seen anything in it, more than that you were extremely good-looking and that I could paint. Even now I cannot help feeling that it is a mistake to think that the passion one feels in creation is ever really shown in the work that one creates. Art is always more abstract than we fancy. Form and colour tell us of form and colour — that is all. It often seems to me that art conceals the artist far more than it reveals him.

— Chapter 9

This is all one paragraph, by the way, and the whole thing spans an entire page. It is probably the gayest paragraph of the entire body of Victorian literature. Basil is clearly infatuated. He becomes so obsessed with Dorian that it’s almost unhealthy. This anguished declaration of love obviously echoes the preface, which is to be expected if Wilde sees Basil as a representation of himself. “To reveal art and conceal the artist is art’s aim.” Basil is afraid that the portrait doesn’t reveal Dorian as he is, instead revealing Basil’s salacious crush on Dorian. But he ultimately comes to the same conclusion as the preface — that art conceals the artist and simply exists for its own sake. Anyone is able to project onto art and see anything they want in it, but art simply is what it is, and taking it too seriously results in peril. Perhaps the true tragic figure of this book isn’t Dorian, it’s Basil, for having invested so much in this portrait. He doesn’t paint it for the sake of creating a beautiful thing, but for the sake of glorifying his crush. He treated Dorian like a god, and could not see past his projection of perfection to see that Dorian was becoming a monster until it was much too late. When Basil sees what has become of the portrait, he acknowledges that this is the only thing anyone is punished for in this novel: “I worshipped you too much. I am punished for it. You worshipped yourself too much. We are both punished.”

Dorian himself kind of becomes an art piece. He literally switches places with the portrait. The portrait shows the corruption of Dorian’s soul, and Dorian himself becomes a projection of both Harry “poisonous” philosophy and Basil’s unhealthy projection. He is admired intensely. He exists just to be beautiful, like an art piece, and no one can really see past his beauty. The novel’s premise is based around the idea that people’s sins are written across their face, and that beauty equals goodness. No one can believe anything bad about Dorian when they see him because he just looks so innocent and angelic. Before he learns the truth, Basil is disturbed by Dorian’s reputation but just can’t believe it: “But you, Dorian, with your pure, bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled youth—I can’t believe anything against you.” Similar comments are made by other characters. Dorian is just too pretty to be as evil as he is. The subversiveness of the book comes from that premise. How often are beautiful people able to get away with anything in society, just because people tend to assume they’re innocent? It’s no wonder that Dorian is completely narcissistic.

Even Harry is incredulous when Dorian all but admits to having murdered Basil, thinking that he’s not capable of murder: “Crime belongs exclusively to the lower orders […] I should fancy that crime was to them what art is to us, simply a method of procuring extraordinary sensations.” Comparing crime to art is really interesting, to say the least. Most people would say that there’s nothing artistic about crime, but Harry isn’t most people, he’s a troll. And the only reason he gets off scot-free in this book is because he never commits the sin of taking art too seriously! Apparently, according to him, Dorian cannot commit a crime because he’s basically an art piece, and he just doesn’t have any need to kill someone. There’s another comment that Harry makes towards the end that suggests that he views Dorian as an art piece:

I am so glad that you have never done anything, never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced anything outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets.

—Chapter 19

This echoes an earlier comment that he made about Basil being boring because everything that’s interesting about him, he puts into his art. Dorian’s life is vibrant because he directs all that same creative energy into living instead of into an art piece. Dorian himself is an art piece. And yet, while Harry is saying this, Dorian is feeling Basil’s murder weighing upon him.

The title refers not to Dorian himself, but to the portrait — a piece of art. The portrait drives the story, and even Dorian himself realizes this. Dorian’s undoing is that he can’t live with the guilt of his reckless murder and probably all his other sins, especially when he has a literal conscience staring back at him. He would have gotten away with murder just for being pretty, if he didn’t have a conscience. It’s far too late for him to redeem himself, so he decides to destroy the conscience. And… we know how that turns out.

The true “moral” of this book is really hard to parse out, which is maybe why we shouldn’t attempt to read the symbol and just take the whole book at face-value, right? There’s a lot going on here. There’s the inability to face up to one’s problems and deal with them in a way that’s healthy, resulting in any form of enjoyment being “empty.” There’s the idolization of beauty, always assuming the best of beautiful people even when they’re really quite awful. And there’s art — treating art like life or life like art is always going to come back to bite you in the end. That would make this a cautionary tale about what happens when art isn’t appreciated for its own sake, and is projected on so much that one confuses it with life, or sought as a source of morality. Art is not moral, it just is — reading (or writing!) a book from the perspective of a serial killer will not make you a bad person. This book is not a bad influence, it just is.

Even after having written all of that, I’m still not really sure what Wilde was trying to say about hedonism, so let’s ask him. According to Wilde himself, the moral of The Picture of Dorian Gray is, “All excess, as well as all renunciation, brings its own punishment.”

Both extremes are bad. Indulge in life, but make sure you do so with empathy, and for the right reasons! Find some middle ground. And most of all, don’t be afraid of your own portrait.

#dorian gray #the picture of dorian gray #dorian gray weekly #oscar wilde #literary analysis #gothic literature #gothic lit #art #hedonism #tpodg

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that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main · 2 years

Text

Being Frank Castle's Daughter in Hawkins

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reader: female | Age: 17-18 range

Characters mentioned: Dustin (briefly, ST), Jonathan Byers (breifly, ST), Joyce Byers (brefily, ST), Steve Harrington (ST), Nancy Wheeler (Breifly, ST) , Billy Hargrove (ST), Frank Castle (MCU), Matt Murdock (MCU), Peter Parker (breifly MCU), Kate Bishop (breifly, MCU)

type: headcannons + drabbles,

A/N: When you hyper fixate on two very different shows so you put them together, basically a Stranger Things x MCU type deal, also i know timelines dont match up just. Let it happen. Also. This got really long

Warnings: typical violence from stranger things and marvel, mentions of weapons not the use of them but still

✧▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬✧

So moving to Hawkins Indiana, was supposed to be "laying low" for both of you

As Known, he the famous Punisher: and with you: not being biologically his daughter, but barring his last name put a tag on your neck as well

Luckily you were trained well and had been through one or two superheroes in your life, like your father you're pretty morally gray

Hawkins was pretty cheap, depending on where you guys lived, there was no point in a big house either so you both lived someone in a cabin off the main road, it was small but better than run-down new york apartments with no windows

You bet to be sure as soon as mothers see the new truck they start talking.

"Not bad..." Y/n spoke looking around her room, "Hey, it's got a window."

Frank chuckled leaning against the door frame as he looked back at her, "You like it?"

"It's nice." Y/n told him setting a box down "It's gonna be weird being so calm..."

"Murdock's got the landline." Frank spoke, "He'll be beggin' for another fight. It won't be long before we're back fightin'."

Y/n nodded, "Gonna miss all those shit-head Avengers. Remember the battle with me and you, we were going against Cap and that Winter Soldier guy. Those guys would just not get off our asses."

"Good memories, you'll make more kid." He told, ruffling her hair, "Get your room together."

And with that Y/n was left alone in the room

You guys like, have to go shopping for food and you feel like you in a zoo

People staring oddly at you, and kids pointing at you

Franks at another store, and you're feeling slightly anxious as you're grabbing a few things for a quick dinner

Luckily the lady checking you out is sweet:

"Don't worry about them." She spoke scanning the items, "Nothing exciting happens around Hawkins, new faces it's like seeing a celebrity."

"oh, yeah...yeah." Y/n nodded watching the woman bag everything eyes not knowing where to fall she found the woman's name tag, "Thank you, Ms.Joyce."

She smiled sweetly, "It's no problem at all. Where you coming from?"

"New York City." Y/n started, engaging in the small talk.

"Hm, the big apple," Joyce smiled, "Must be quite a change."

"yes, Ma'm," Y/n responded.

"Well, we're open 24 hours here, " She started pushing some clanky buttons on the cash register, then hitting it aggressively, "Thing never wants to work- there we are. 5.96."

Y/n handed her the money exactly and Joyce thanked her, y/n said goodbye and left out the store with the two bags in hand.

Walking back to the truck you see a radio shack as you pass, Frank's not at the truck so you dip in for a quick look

So far all of the adults are nice, nice to see a new face and make small talk.

But soon you left and Frank was waiting for you in the truck

"Got it all."

"Yeah," Y/n responded as she got in closing the door behind her, it was silent as Frank drove off.

"Did you get stared and pointed at?" Y/n asked.

"yeah."

at least she wasn't alone there

So they got home and put all the groceries away, and that's when Y/n realized the bag.

"You know, this is making me think that you're sending me to school." Y/n started holding up the school supplies, "you're not sending me to school, right?"

"Independent study ain't gonna get you nowhere here kid-"

"Are you kidding!? You said I wouldn't have to go!" Y/n argued, "You said as long as I'm on an independent study I can go on patrols with you!"

"There is nothing to go after out here, kid! What are you gonna do? Go shoot every damn animal you see in the forest?" He argued back, "We're not in New York no more, No more patrol, no more independent study! You start Monday, that's it."

Already arguing on your first day in a new city, yay

You yourself end up skipping dinner and just finish putting your room together, after all, the day after tomorrow you are a damn high schooler.

He lets you calm down, and makes breakfast in the morning for the both of you

Well he said he got some construction or quarry job- something labor intensive so you're not the only one trying to go back to normal

The days spent cleaning again and putting the few things you own away

You go into town again the next day: you had both just bought stuff for dinner the other day, and you needed actual food in the house now

Hence the grocery store

You thought that small market where that lovely lady was filled with stares? Just look at it now

You guys stick together for this one, eyes are everywhere just stare at you

You're for sure not you're typical "girl" most are wearing skirts and nice blouses

You're literally dressed just like your dad, combat boots and all

Yeah you definitely weren't gonna be popular at school you could already feel it

"Get something for lunch tomorrow." and off to the fruit section y/n went, and quickly too, to pick up a bag of peaches and apricots

"Mommy, mommy, look at the pretty girl-"

"Don't look, sweetheart, that is not beauty,"

god people are such a-holes for no reason

"Don't worry." A boy spoke, "I think you're super cool. Like you're about to go monster hunting."

"Thanks?" Y/n spoke.

"Dustin Dustin Henderson." He introduced.

"Nice to see someone doesn't think I'm a psycho path." Y/n spoke, "Even if they are, what? ten?"

"I'm 13." "Close enough." Y/n shrugged walking off.

"Wait! Wait!" he called rushing after her.

"I heard you from across the sea, is it true?"

"What? No, I'm from New York." Y/n argued.

"That was going to be my second guess." He spoke, "And is equally as cool!"

"Look kid, I gotta get back to my dad." Y/n told him, "Can I help you with something?"

He looked at her and Y/n raised an eyebrow, "Okay I actually need something from the top shelf."

"Yeah, where is it, kid."

You helped him get what he wanted and he thanked you: calling you cool once more and then rushed off.

You had a feeling just deep down that was gonna come bite you in the ass later on, somehow, not sure how, but it would

You met back up with Frank and went to check out

Yes, great more stares, Women think Frank's good-looking and Y/n's just in the way of the view

Now you gotta go to school the next day and put up with the same shit

Literally Frank has to search your bag for weapons before you go: your so used to carrying concealed weapons because of Patrols and independent study it didn't matter, so he literally pats you down

"You can't take pocket knives to school!"

"I don't get it!? Why not!"

"It's not battle royal, it's who can get to the cafeteria first- that's it."

"Sounds pretty battle royal to me-"

"Get in the truck."

He drops you off and is really worried

not for you of course, for the other kids

yeah yeah, they should be scared.

Guess who you're lockers next to Billy FUCKING Hargrove

And some girls are too busy flirting to realize they're in your way

"Excuse me." Nothing.

"Hey!" Nothing

Okay now you're shoving them out the way

"Watch it." One girl ordered Y/n looking back at her, rolling her eyes

Billy can already tell your a city kid like him, it's a city kid thing.

and casually interrupts the a-hole girls to ask him where your classes were.

"Down the hall..." He spoke looking her over, "Brooklyn?"

"New York, Hells Kitchen." she responded, "L.A, San Fransico?"

"Guilty as charged city bird," he smirked

Oh that's a good shit disturbed friendship forming

well at least Hawkins wouldn't be as boring as you thought

No one really tried to introduce themselves to you

Yet King Steve the hair Harrington did almost run into you with his food tray but you stopped him catching his tray and handing back over before you go to sit down to eat

That's where you meet you guessed it: Johnathan Byers, seems like he's an eat-alone guy too

You guys don't really meet but acknowledge one another

Then some guy and his girl come to pick on him but you're not in the mood.

"You mind moving somewhere else?" Y/n called to the one and only Tommy Hagan.

"Aw, are we disrupting the new girl?" Carol laughed

"I'll be disrupting your fuckin face if you don't leave him alone," Y/n argued.

"Hey you don't talk to her like that," Tommy argued Y/n standing up.

"Or what? You're gonna punch me? Gonne slap me?" Y/n spoke walking closer to him, he stumbles back, "Gonna try and fight and you're gonna lose, you'll be on the floor within the second, I dare you, throw that punch."

Tommy had tripped over his feet falling to the ground, she had drawn unwanted attention as she towered over him in the center of the cafeteria, Y/n walking away from him to return to her food.

Johnathan thanked her and tried to introduce himself to her

Then PE happened, where she officially met Harrington.

Girls sat on the bench while they watched shirtless and covered boys play basketball

yet of course Y/n jumped in and played ball instead, girls officially hate you, being able to be that close with Billy and Steve,

the coach allowed you to play too: you only thought, he didn't want to hear about a nail being broken

Steve introduced himself during water break while, but then again you don't introduce yourself

"New Yorker thinks she's too good for us." Billy chimed in, "isn't that right?"

Y/n continued in drinking water with no response.

"Leave her alone." Steve defended.

"No let him keep running his mouth, maybe he'll finally speak some sense."

"I wouldn't get cocky with me City bird." Billy shot back

"Is that a threat?" Y/n deflected getting in his face.

"Maybe it is."

"Me and you on the court. Now."

Let's just say you really gave him a run for his money

Dude you robbed him of his money

The one-on-one game consists of you two shoving and pushing, trying to trip the other

"Is it just me." Steve spoke to a classmate beside him, "Or does the new kid seem."

"Over the top strong?"

"Yeah." Steve spoke watching Y/n knock Billy down, "i would hate to be on her bad side."

Yeah if you weren't already the talk of the school you are now

Steve once again tries to introduce himself to you.

"Steve Harrington."

"I know who you are."

"Wow, am I that popular?" He teased.

"What do you want."

"You don't take to new people very well."

Y/n opened her locker, "Okay, listen."

"All ears."

"You're the popular dude, who gets all the girls and has rich parents, yada, yada, yada, why are you talking to me. because I'm not sleeping with you."

"what? no! no!" Steve argued, "I thought you were really cool, the whole school saw you take down Tommy Hagan with just standing there. Not to mention how you took on Hargrove."

Y/n looked over at him, and he smiled trying to persuade her.

"Y/n. Y/n Castiglione."

You've officially had a "friend" according to Steve

When school's out, you're more than running to go home.

But Frank's at work, or whatever he does now and you're walking home

"hey!" Steve called, "Need a ride home?"

Y/n looked beside her, Steve driving alongside her: "Come on, Were friends now!"

Y/n sighed and walked over, opening the door, "Try anything Harrington and I'll stab you."

"Alright, Alright." Steve spoke, "Just watch the hair and the face."

The town werido and class king driving home together

But when you told him to drop you off he's confused.

"But there's no house here." Steve defended.

"I know." Y/n spoke getting out the car.

"Wait! Wait! Could I atleast get your landline?" He asked.

"What?" Y/n questioned.

"You know. The house phone." Steve spoke.

Y/n was silent, "...why?"

"To call you?" Steve questioned: what else would he need the house number phone, "You know. Invite you to go out with us. Have fun."

"In Hawkins?"

"Its not as bad as you think sometimes." Steve shrugged, "or we could, I dont know hang out somewhere."

"I give you the number you stop askin questions?"

"Absolutely."

So Steve got the land line.

Maybe having steve as a friend wouldn't be so bad.

But with Hw done and no libary card, you resort to calling Matt Murdock.

"Aw. Miss me already?" Matt chuckled.

"I would be lying if I said no." Y/n defended leaning against the wall.

"Come on can't be that bad." He tried to defend, "Make any friends?"

Y/n shrugged on her end, " Yeah I guess. This guy named Steve Harrington. Thinking about looking into him."

"Y/n you're making friends not finding people to background check." Matt defended.

"Maybe I wouldn't have to background check anyone if Frank would give me my damn knife back." Y/n protested.

"Y/n." Matt started, "I know it's hard to adjust. I do. But you're not gonna need a knife or pistol everywhere you go."

Y/n sighed. Matt was right, she'd have to adjust: and no not like you adjust on a mission, but genuinely adjust to the surrondings to a new daily life.

"If I can get Foggy to let me go I'll come visit you both." Matt told, "just because you've wiggled your way into my soft spot doesnt mean you're both not on my radar."

Y/n chuckled, Matt had become somewhat of an Uncle-ish dad-ish figure. Someone that calmed her down unlike Frank who was bad at it.

"Hey. Send me somethin local and maybe. Maybe. I'll send you somethin back?" Matt tried to suggest: keep her busy, "We could be pen pals."

Y/n smiled, "Yeah I'd like that."

He smiled, "Love ya kiddo."

"Love you too." Y/n responded and the call ended.

What you'd do to be in new york right now

Fighting crime, Sneaking out, eatting pizza from hole in the wall place, breakfast early morings after a busy night

Waiting for Frank seemed useless at this point: as early evening became late evening and late evening became night

And at 10pm steve harrington called.

"Hello?"

"Seems like I got the right number after all." Steve spoke on the other side of the phone

What you thought would be a short conversation turned into a full blown three hours,

Turns out Steve was alot of fun to talk too, all she had to do is open herself up a bit

He asked about her mostly, Typical new kid shit

Steve was a bit cocky still: but just for good fun and seemed Genuine

"You Y/n Castiglione seem like a bad ass."

"And why's that?" Y/n questioned.

"Well for one you stood up to Billy Hargrove."

Y/n chuckled, "You're still on about that?"

"Was that a chuckle? I heard a chuckle. I must be gettin' pretty good." Steve joked.

Finally you guys get off the phone

And you go to bed.

So. Maybe Hawkins wouldn't be too bad.

The first week seems Normal: Steve introduced you to Nancy Wheeler his girlfriend

You seemed off about her: she looked like one of the girls making fun of you at the store

You keep yourself quiet though, you also dont eat with them during lunch, but rather Jonathan, simply because you guys eat in silence

You and Billy contuine to go at it: occasionally shoves from each other in the hallways and eye rolls during class. You guys really go at it during PE, Especially when Wrestling came along

The girls think your aboustley imodest in your shorts and sports bra wreslting the boys

Most are just jealous your in such contact with the guys

At first there was the "that guy" who always has to make a comment about you but he really did shut up before you could even turn his world upside down.

Why? You honestly have no idea

But when the guy comes back that friday with a black eye you still have no clue

Alot of the girls sum it up to you doing it

You thought all would be fine, you feel like your being distanced from Frank though

With him working long days into nights you feel like that bond is wearing down.

But luckily Matt keeps in touch with you. Peter Parker's called you along with Kate Bishop saying they miss you

You miss them all too. But atleast Harrington calls you daily, same time: just to bullshit together

So your first week wasnt bad, during the weekend you and Frank Lazy around, playing a board game here and there

You actually send Matt that package he wanted so thats off your list.

You also go on your own little nature hikes and your not too far from the lake.

And when you come back you're weapons are displayed on your bedroom wall and you're so excited.

He says its somewhat of a present

And its not all your weaponary, just your favorites The rest is in the floorboard

Still: you put blood sweat and tears into those weapons so you were happy

Ah yes your pristine knife collection

Week one? If you had to rate it solid 7/10

Then week two starts

Oh god week two

Monday was good for no one: especially not you

She opened her locker, just for open cartons of milk and raw eggs to fall and splatter onto her chlothes, people starring and starting to laugh

Luckily you had extra chlothes in your pe locker

Or so you thought

Someone had broken into those and covered specifically the ass part of your shorts in red and brown paint and the same with your shirt.

So you just skipped Monday

It was actually as you were leaving Billy was just coming in.

"What the hell happened to you city bird?" Billy questioned getting no response as she walked past him, "City Bird!"

Still no answer he sighed, "Castiglione! Im talking to you!"

She looked back, "what the fuck does it look like Hargrove!" She argued.

It was silent between them, "Get in." He ordered, "But don't get any of that shit on my seats. Take your shoes off before you get it."

"I don't want a hand out."

"I didn't fuckin ask. Now get in the car." He told.

So he drove you home, all the way home.

You could careless at this point as he followed you in the house

He didnt comment about the house and followed you into your room

"It's either you're bat shit crazy or you're just crazy." He spoke looking at the knives on the wall as she grabbed some chlothes to change into.

She changed into a fresh set of chlothes with him in the room as his back was to her, he still looking at the collection she tossing the old chlothes in her hamper as she fell back on her bed.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" He argued.

"What?" Y/n asked looking at him, "whats wrong with what Im wearing."

"No wonder you look like shit everytime you go to school. Don't have a damn mirror in here." Billy spoke looking around, "Fuck you don't have one at all."

"Okay? And?" Y/n spoke.

"Well get ready City Bird." Billy told, Y/n raising her eyebrows, "You're dumbass is going shopping."

"Hah." Y/n laughed, "no."

Oh no

You dont get it, he picked up your ass, and DRAGGED you

"Billy!" Y/n defended, "the fuck! Unhand me! You peice of shit!"

"Stop fuckin trashin' we're going." Billy protested throwing her into the passanger seat.

So now instead of being in school you're shopping, for chlothes with Billy Fucking Hargove.

Alrighty then

He thinks you have a horrible sense of style

And you do? Kinda? You do wear just Frank's old chlothes

Atleast he got you out of cargo pants and into some denim jeans

He's got you in style now

Accidentally matching him one day will end up being a problem.

So you spent your monday bullshitting around town with Billy becoming actual friends

Not telling Frank that you skipped your second Monday wont hurt him.

Part two

✧▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬✧

Tags: @raelwrites

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harrowharkwife · 15 days

Note

ill go with sex pal :P but if that's already done, gideon :)

HIIIIII!!!!!!! hi friend!!!!!

favorite thing about them: PALAMEDESSSSSS my boy palamedes. my little guy. man, okay, what do i love about him. i love the way he loves. i am fascinated by his clumsy and imperfect and well-meaning but inherently flawed attempts/approaches to things like agency and ethics and fairness and respect. i love that he pays attention to everything. i love his drive. i love his gambling streak, his tendency to play the odds. i love that he's a boy who writes love letters™. i love how open he is about his affections and his feelings. i love his penchant for using terms of endearment. his love for teaching. his willingness to get up on a soapbox for things he believes in, even if he winds up stumbling sidelong into insufferable preachy condescension half the time. i love that he tries. i love that he sometimes fucks up and hurts the people around him. i love his boldness. i love his sweetness. i love his kindness. that boy could make friends with a brick wall if you gave him enough time. i love that he canonically writes weird erotica to cope. i love his taste in women. i love his gender. i just love him

least favorite thing about them: i mean, i could go on forever. he's deeply annoying sometimes, and as much as it's part of his charm, it also makes me want to thwap him upside the head from time to time, like. boy. shut UP!!! but the real answer is honestly his position as sixth house scion. master warden is an unspeakably rancid title in vibes alone and i sincerely hope we dig into the backstory behind that a little more in AtN. i find it fascinating, and troubling, and tragic, and frustrating, all the ways in which he talks the talk re: cavaliers and agency and free will, but when the rubber meets the road, do his actions really back that up? arguably, not always. and the guilt and complicity and codependent toxicity there re: camilla, is like catnip to me. he loves her, he respects her, she's his best friend, he's in awe of her and her abilities and her strength. and yet, time and time again, he puts her through harrowing things and thanks her each time she shoulders his burdens. it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, it makes me so sad, it's a snake eating its own tail, it is a mobius strip of toxic power imbalance codependent enmeshment and it is FASCINATING to think about. if i keep going we'll be here all night, but just. i think fandom has a tendency to write him as The Good Person™ (him and Camilla both) and, like, i love him as much as the next girl, but he's a head of state in an empire, with all the implications that brings with it.

favorite line: "how god takes, and takes, and takes." "fool us twice, shame on god." "thank god for that mad, stubborn, lovely girl." "it's not you, it's me wearing you." (moira quirk's inflection on that line is literally fucking haunting, btw.) "do you know, i miss harrowhark terribly." "and, most personally, this is for dulcinea septimus." god. i just love him

brOTP: harrow, and also gideon.

OTP: im shy <3

nOTP: im struggling to think of a pal pairing that i Couldn't find compelling or at least interesting, if written the right way, in the right light. he's just my interesting little guy. he's a barbie and im making him scissor all the other barbies. who said that

random headcanon: glasses chain. earrings. palamedes can have she/her pronouns, every now and then, as a treat. contrary to the initial assumption of everyone he's ever met, he's actually Not autistic. (cam is; he's just got wicked bad adhd.) jewamedes is also fun

unpopular opinion: i mean i guess just what i said up top re: people sometimes acting like he's never done anything wrong in his life? i love him but i love him Because he is an interesting and deeply morally gray (ha) character.

song i associate with them: what you can't look up by walk the moon, tiny moves by bleachers, to someone from a warm climate by hozier, chateau lobby #4 in c for two virgins by father john misty, shiver shiver by walk the moon, star by mitski, hopedrunk everasking by caroline polachek, GAMBLER'S PRAYER BY CAROLINE POLACHEK my ultimate palamedes song

favorite picture of them: ive tattooed every single piece of palamedes art ive ever seen on the inside of my eyelids. except white palamedes fanart which is always such a jumpscare

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hungnitan · 3 months

Text

Penacony TB 2.0 Impression

Contain very heavy spoiler so don't click keep reading below if you don't want to get spoil (JP DUB)

I won't talked too much about story here since everyone can read them

Story Impression

I don't know if I miss it but has anyone explain the graveness of someone dying at dreamscape ? From some side mission, I think it's just they will comeback to reality ? So why at TB they made us think like we died for real ?

I only can hopefully think hoyo will explain it at later date ! If not, then it's just Xianzhou Luofu things again...

But I quite like the course of story so far despite above and the fact it's very similar to Flamechaser premise of story. I think anyone who play HI3 should notice these. As now the premise are grouping a very range personality people together in same place -> kill them one by one -> spreading distrust to MC and yeah those same premise already happened in Flamechaser stories...

Remember seeing this flamechaser editing pict ? With current story, I guess it shouldn't be that far with changing March7 to Sunday and now hoyo just killed 2 person easily and with Misha get mentioned too much in 2.0 I can't push him away from picture~

And with just 2.0 aside Family will doing something fishy, I can't grasp the main problem at Penacony plus (literally) everyones have their own morally gray goal which make things complicated especially someone like Sparkle which doing things just to make it interesting or Acheron basically hunt injustice equally.

2.0 Important New Character

Firefly, I kinda had Yuuki SAO impression from her so I can't even sad she's gone since I already know the very same "someone terminally ill dive into dreamscape-like to extend their lifetime" premise (plus she still hiding something important even for Sparkle came to us disguise as Sampo lol) but wow hoyo really kill her in brutal and clean way...

It's just this pict hit my heart of course if she's really dying later don't know though

Aventurine, his JP VA Kengo Kawanishi doing a good job voicing him as calculated tricky but bit mellow person. At most scene I'm suspicious of him since he's sounds very similar to Akira Ishida (but his "my friend" line keeping me laugh lol) but one thing I'm sure after read 2.0 about him is he will become a important character even in future version. Why ? He's having too many background mentioned scene

(1) This "Sigonian" bloodline things get mentioned at two scene, other one from Sparkle after made a comment about his unusual eyes. Seems that bloodline connected to his other form~

(2) This one too direct line came from Ratio (lol) saying about he's just a slave to IPC which he brush it lightly

(3) But weird enough when he talked about his family, Ratio suddenly apologies. It still too early to say this but maybe ten stoneheart are all extinct people got taken/buy by IPC

What's more, just what's happened at the end of stories ? Same like Firefly case with Sam, we can't conclude that Aventurine killed Robin with that scene... fyi, these scene too moreless same as Flamechaser story and in the end suspect isn't killed anyone lol

Why only those two ? So far Acheron and Black Swan only become our bodyguards (lol), Sparkle playing around us in her own interesting ways, Ratio isn't doing things too drastically to us he's too busy to wipe his wife sorry ass lol but those people seems have same purpose, keeping eyes on us in this point too is same like Flamechaser story lol

PS : I kinda had some nauseous a bit while playing at 3d maps but so far it's very fun, I need another weeks for all complete I guess. Well, I had Genshin too but the maps itself really big and too many side things to do (I already saving 15 side mission after exploring half of Penacony)

#honkai star rail #what can I say ?#so far it's similar to flamechaser story #what to expect in 2.1 TB ?#another person dying (lol)#in flamechaser we're having 3 boss #with Sam already on list #with next most likely Aventurine #last must be Duke Inferno then #eh I'm fine with similarity #I'm very enjoy hearing Kawanishi voice #the things I still confused as now ?#maybe firefly playable or not later (lol)#why I say Duke Inferno could become a boss despite the stories goes on ? I just can't believe he dying that easily #like “wow you just kill person who appear twice and important enough for stories that easily ?”#plus IF Acheron really kill him #is that possible that Acheron ONLY killed him ? that doesn't make sense #IF my personality analysis about her are right isn't she would kill everyone ?#in first place I really skeptic to most Aventurine said to us (lol)#and did anyone finish the genius society side mission ?#it basically state that if their purpose align IPC garden of recollection and the family could join forces #which makes me questioning Black Swan more at TB quest...

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jesse-cosay · 10 months

Note

because they’re running out of time

Mikaylake

I am kissing you so, so gently on the nose. Also sorry it's kind of different from the prompt but this is what came to mind and I won't have internet for long!

It hadn't been their intent.

Lake had come to Minnesota with the plan to meet Tulip again. To reintroduce theirself with their name and their best friend. By all means it should have been straightforward- easy.

Except, of course, nothing was ever easy. Or smooth. Not when it came to Lake.

So when Mikayla opened the door instead of Tulip- well. It was safe to say they panicked.

They'd always had a crush on Mikayla. She was- cool was the only word that came to mind as they looked at her. Wide-eyed and dead silent.

She had piercings, the type that Tulip's parents had always cringed at. Mikayla was kind, too. Not afraid to approach the weird kid with her nose pressed to the computer glass. Often she would look at Tulip through her reflection on the screen.

Lake liked to pretend that Mikayla was looking at them. Telling them to hurry up and finish because she had a funny story about her older sister again or- or whatever Tulip and Mikayla talked about. Lake was finding it hard to remember what exactly they used to say, now that Mikayla was before them.

In her defense, she was handling the whole metal thing well. Better than anyone else had as far as Lake was concerned.

It was sweet. Cute. The way her eyebrows furrowed as if she was trying to make sure she wasn't the one miss-seeing things. How her lips pursed in thought before she spoke. "You're the one that Tulip-"

Lake's stomach did summersaults. Mikayla knew them. She knew them!

"Lake. I'm Lake." They blurted, knowing their face had to be some disgustingly splotchy gray color with how it burned. Mikayla knew their name. They'd said it to her. She was looking at them. Really looking at them.

There was a voice-

Tulip's voice. Calling for Mikayla from upstairs.

Lake had knocked on the door willingly. Ready to face her. But seeing Mikayla- Mikayla recognizing them- it was already so much to take in.

They reached toward Mikayla as she turned to reply to Tulip. Grasping the collar of her shirt and yanking her forward jerkily.

Lake couldn't have Tulip coming down. Not while they were such a mess, trying to compose theirself. They'd only meant to stop Mikayla.

In her surprise she turned back to them, and they crashed into each other. Lake vaguely registered that their faces were touching, beneath all the embarrassment and horror.

They pushed her away, nearly falling over in the process. Mikayla caught herself on the door, looking just as shocked as Lake was sure they did.

"You-"

"Lake!"

They turned, running towards Jesse's voice. He'd been hiding nearby for moral support, but now he was Lake's saving grace as they tripped over their own feet.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" They called back, waving at Mikayla as if to convey how much they had not intended to kiss her and knock her over. "Oh my god-"

Jesse pulled them into the bush with him, clearly biting down his laughter. "And you thought me kissing a mirror was bad!"

"I thought you said that was someone else."

He did not take Lake's bait. All too pleased with this shiny, new thing to hold over their head. "Seriously, that was sad."

Lake sighed, listening to the distant mumbles of Mikayla and Tulip at the door. Screwed. They were so screwed. "... Do you think they'll believe me if I say it's some sort of reflection-defensive reflex?"

"Not a fucking chance."

Maybe meeting Tulip could wait for another year.

#infinity train #lake infinity train #Mikayla #mikayla infinity train #Mikaylake #ask #infinity train lake #yellow's writing #GAAAAS THEYRE SO CUTE I DIDNT EVEND O THEM JUSTICR #I wish there was actual content for this ship you do not understand

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bewaretheidesofmarchyall · 3 months

Note

18, 34 and 48 for the qsmp ask game :D

18. Favorite side character/non island residents (This does not include eggs)

Oooo I have to go with Elena on this one. I love a good morally gray scientist, and the recent revelations about her backstory are very Repo: The Genetic Opera.

(Were it not for my lack of drawing abilities and complicated compelling art, artist probably a creep feelings about Repo I would love to make a short animatic of her with part of one of Nathan's songs from that opera)

But if we're allowed to include the Purgatory 2 cast members under a very stretched definition of "non-island residents", my answer changes: Condifiction. 100%. Would be incredible if he could be added to the main cast one day.

34. Free space to talk about anything QSMP related :D

can i talk about qQuackity's tormentous nightmare i want to talk about qQuackity's tormentous nightmare

(by which i mean that time he had a near death experience, toured a Hell of his own making, and then was the first guy on the server to get resurrected during the story [always a landmark in this kinds of stories])

like my thoughts are a bit scattered but. oh my god. it is so rare that we get a direct window into a character's head, and when we do i pounce on his like a starving tiger presented with a meat pumpkin

His hell nightmare version of Tilín telling him he doesn't deserve heaven

The way that he fails every test (doesn't earn Tilín's forgiveness, neglects Richas like he feared he was doing in life, can't make himself let go of the idealized and imagined life he could have as Tallulah's stepfather and probably as Tallulah's father's husband [choosing artifice over the inevitable way he'll ruin something real])

and it's unclear how much of that is him genuinely failing, Oscurucho setting him up to fail to torment him, or his dying mind just deciding failing is what he does, proving to him that he really does deserve Hell

And yeah, I'm reading into it all, sue me. I'm enriched.

SPEAKING OF READING INTO IT, something about qRoier's absence in these streams has possessed me. Because I spent all of the streams just like. Roier today? Vision of Roier in qQuackity's Hell today please? Please he could absolutely kill the role of a guy's dying brain demons. But no. No dice. No Roier :[

Which I then immediately started reading into ASJSJSJ because when only one character in a pattern is missing, that starts seeming notable. And every single one of qQuackity's list of loved ones appears in his tormentous nightmare. except Roier

That's weird, right? He's the only person qQ can't see being in Hell. /probably not the intention but feasible interpretation

Which kind of makes sense? Roier's succeeded at so many points that qQ's failed. Finding love. Walking down the isle. Being a good parent to his own son. Being a better parent to Quackity's kid than Quackity. And then, when Bobby started losing lives, it was never neglect, it was a code attack and an adventure gone wrong. And then, when Bobby was dead for good, Roier didn't go around trying to steal other people's children and threatening murder and any of the various bullshit Quackity did when Tilín died. That fucker grieved better than him.

(obviously this is all just qquackity's knowledge of roier- god knows roier's really had his more morally dubious and heartbreaking moments)

But anyway. The one time Roier appears in Quackity's vision of Hell, he's just text messages in the QSMP server chat. He's not only not shown in Hell, he's not in Hell. He's alive, he's on the island.

And Quackity tries to send messages to him, ask him for help, and they don't go through. He can't do a thing for him, and it's not even his fault. He just doesn't know what's happening in Hell. He's a whole fucking plane of existence above Quackity, thriving and living and unreachable.

dammit i switched into writer mode. anyway, this is my overanalysis of whatever qQuackity's deal is with qRoier

TLDR: I love katabases so so much I think every character should have to take a quick tour of their personal Hell sometime

48. Has the QSMP inspired you to learn new languages? If so, which ones and what have you done to do that so far?

It's definitely inspired me to want to learn new languages- I want to learn Portuguese and French and Spanish and Korean and and and- but I haven't been able to make much progress aside from a frequently broken duolingo streak in Portuguese and then taking Spanish classes. AP classes are kicking my ass right now, but I hope to do more language practice during the summer.

#qsmp ask game

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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 10 months

Text

Fed - a Magnus Archives fanfic

So. This was just what it was, now. Hardly the first time in my life I’d faced challenges, gray morality, and a strange situation in which I wasn’t precisely trapped, but all my other options were worse than the one I was considering.

It was heavy. Too heavy.

“Take a moment,” said Spider Martin. “Looks like you need it.”

I eyed him. “Reading my thoughts?”

“No, your face. It’s quite expressive. Whatever you’re thinking about, it’s clearly a lot?”

I hated his blue eyes.

That wasn’t his fault. Something about him just made me remember how I had watched him die.

(Then is your Martin really your Martin?)

Yes. Shut up. I couldn’t… That was not a box we were opening this afternoon.

Spoilers for the whole show. This is post-MAG 200.

Part four of the Magnus Monsterverse AU.

AO3

--------

The fog took me, and as if I’d spent a thousand years there instead of my own metamorphosis, I immediately succumbed.

It wasn’t even conscious: just a completion, a sense of self and no other, an aching, longing magnificence that hurt like pure joy, flooding through me. I think I cried out. I might have come. I definitely wept.

This place… oh. Oh. I ate it up. It ate it up. We ate it up, together. There was such strange joy in me. It was such a wondrously terrible new thing. It drank it in, and I drank it in, and I may have cried out again, because this time, he answered.

“I’m here. I’ve got you. I’m here.” And Martin pulled me in, shocking in his there-ness, his solidity, his presence, the very miracle of his existence.

He was the only thing that was real, and We loved it that way.

I clung to him and cried. I could not get close enough. I never could, not ever; it would never be enough, and I embraced that, painted my body, rolled my eyes back in my head to bask in its glorious void.

He breathed deeply, slowly, and his heart beat strong. “It was you,” he said. “While I was in the waves, it was you, missing you, thinking of you, grieving you… that’s what did it. That’s what powered everything.”

And suddenly, I saw.

Saw him in strange, wild waves, surfacing to stare at a gray sky that matched his eyes.

Saw that he rarely surfaced. He spent most of his time under, in the broad, booming silence, the current pulling him along, far from everyone and everything. The isolation under pressure; the magnificence of loneliness in a world with other living things—

He rejoiced in his pain, felt he deserved it—but it didn’t last.

“They died,” he whispered, and tears kissed his cheeks, so I kissed them off.

He felt them dying; felt the people—so far away their absence made him ache—winking out like lights.

Martin breathed in the water (and I did with him) and mourned and lost.

And when it happened, and all were gone, his god fed on him.

Because of me.

“It was you,” he whispered. “Missing you was… it became everything. I missed you so much that I…”

He lost himself.

I could look up at him, now, and saw him like burning mist, saw his perfect eyes with limbal rings I could tumble into and drown.

“When they found me…” He swallowed. “When Tim leaned through the door of fire that Maneula somehow got him to make and found me, I didn’t know his name. I knew his face, but it just made me cry.”

I understood that. I knew I’d cry when I met him, too. I was sure he still hadn’t forgiven me.

“When they came, I fought them. I thought that if they took me away from here, I’d lose missing you. That’s bonkers, isn’t it?”

“No,” I said.

He touched my lips. His eyes were wide. “What?”

“No,” I repeated.

He looked stunned. “You’re in my silence. You can’t speak.”

Oh. I felt what he meant; he had this weird, Lonely power, this silence he could enforce, but, I—ah. “Yes, I can.” I knew how to talk.

Martin still stared. He looked spooked. “We… we should go back.”

I’d scared him. That would not do, so I kissed him instead.

He made a sound and responded, clutching me, his blazing eyes sliding shut. Color washed his cheeks, and as it did, we became real.

The fog vanished as if eaten by summer sun. We stood together in our apartment block, in the central courtyard, under blue spring sky, in sight of all the windows.

We both breathed hard, shudders trembling through us like aftershocks.

“What did you do?” he whispered.

“I kissed you,” I said, still dazed. “Was I not supposed to?”

“You… you became the Lonely,” said Martin. “You were the Lonely. You… I don’t understand.”

Eh?

What?

Eh?

“I what?”

“Hey, kiddos,” said Mike, coming out from the same building I lived in. “We’re heading out to get a bite. Want to come?”

We had no time for this. We had to deal with what just happened. We—

Oh. Behind him came a rogue’s gallery.

That was Michael Shelley. Right behind him came Helen Richardson, scowling.

There was Arthur Nolan—an angry, angry man, made worse because there were two of him in a row. They had not bothered to be anything but identical.

Sarah Baldwin came out beside Jane Prentiss, both of them chattering away about something called Brother Love I’d never heard of.

(The Eye dropped three seasons’ worth of this bizarre forbidden-love-among-the-cloisters “reality” show into my head. Thanks. You shouldn’t have.)

(Drama! It happily tremored at me.)

I stared at the lot of them, frozen. So many of them had tried to kill me, or been part of my torment. My actions had led to their deaths, as well—and some of them, I’d never even seen in the light of day.

I made a small noise. I don’t know what it was. Some panicked thing.

“I've got you,” said Martin. “It's okay. They’re not going to hurt you.”

I couldn’t believe that.

They greeted Martin with smiles, though no touches, no personal space invasions (and I could appreciate that). Me, however… no one seemed to know what to do with. They eyed me. Jane stared. Michael tilted his head. Helen rolled her eyes.

“We going, or what?” snapped Nolan One with all the grace of a bulldozer. “I’m fuckin’ hungry,” said Nolan Two.

“I think we should initiate our new friend and make him join,” said Mike Crew.

Sarah Baldwin laughed. It wasn’t a nice sound. “He looks like a scared rabbit.”

“He’s fine,” said Martin.

Was this happening? This was happening. “You’re going?” I said to Martin.

He looked grim. “We should.”

He was trying not to be lonely. Trying so hard.

I would never get in the way of that. “I’ll go, sure,” I said, staring at Jane (whose skin boasted numerous scars, even more than my own, but no sign of worms just yet). “I, uh. I’m Jon. Hi.” So graceful. My face burned.

Jane grinned, stretching her scars. "Hi."

Helen laughed. As she did, her face shifted; she was still Helen, still herself, but she’d changed, like distortion through glass. “Hi, Jon. I’m Helen.”

Michael tilted his head further. Too far. Smiling in an utterly banal manner. "Archivist."

“I… yes. It’s weird to see you both at the same time.”

They just looked at me.

(It was thrilled. If I could have shrunk small enough to hide in Martin’s pocket, I would have, and It loved my misery.)

“Oh, I like this one,” said Michael. “You’re much less human than before.”

“Ah. Well,” I said. “That’s true, I suppose.”

“Still a prick,” said Helen.

“Hey,” I protested.

“From what I recall,” said Martin, “you were the one so obsessed with him that you wanted to keep him in your corridors until everybody else he ever knew died so you could have him all to yourself.”

And everyone turned to stare at her.

Helen’s dark cheeks blushed darker. “Well. Desperate times, and all that.”

Michael cracked up.

Crew followed, and Sarah, and soon everyone was laughing, even the Nolans—and it wasn’t a bad laugh, it really was not, but I felt no better.

“We’ve all come a long way,” said Jane.

“Archivist,” said Michael. “Come to us. Join us. Let us see your skill.”

“My what?”

“We’re, uh. We… can you guys go ahead? We’ll meet you at the curb.”

“Ooh,” said Nolan One, low. “Somebody hasn’t been told about the birds and the bees yet.”

“Be nice,” said Sarah, and swatted his arm.

Nolan Two bared his teeth at her.

“Sure,” said Crew, and gestured to them all. They all walked on, continuing their conversations or lack thereof.

Michael winked at me over his shoulder, then loudly said to Helen, “So what did that feel like, all trapped inside you?”

“Kill me now,” I muttered, covering my face.

Martin kissed my forehead. He’d lost just a shade of the color he’d had, but seemed to be holding steady. “So. Here’s how this works. We go and meet at a pre-set point in the city. Then we, uh. He gives us a list of people.”

I looked up slowly. “To what end?”

He just looked back.

“To what? To… to feed on?”

“It’s that, or we feed the Fears through ourselves—and something about us, about what we were at the ends of our worlds means that if we let them feed on us, we supercharge them. We could end it here all over again. So we don’t do that. Instead, we… Annabelle calls it ‘hummingbirds.’”

Flitting from person to person, sipping the nectar of fear. “So it’s all even less stable than Leitner said. This is horrible.”

“It’s not that bad. The people we see don’t even realize it’s happening, usually—we keep it light. Besides, we don’t do it to nice people.”

My look was dry.

“I mean it, Jon. People who hurt animals. That sort of thing.”

“A lot of those in London, are there?”

“You’d be surprised. There’s less fear in this world in general; it’s less spread out, so it’s potent. We only need a little.”

“This is insane. You know that, right? You must see it. This is lunacy.”

“It’s surviving. Which is a choice.”

Oh, how I hated that, but I understood. I knew. I got it. We could all do the world a favor and die, but none of us truly wanted to. Or at least… knew we should not want that. How did one judge the worth of a life? The risk of that life doing wrong? At what point could I or anyone say, you’re too dangerous to live because of what you might do?

“You’re right,” I whispered.

“It's going to be okay. I promise. Come on and join us today.” His smile was small, but real. “Keeps you from going crazy.”

And I knew that was true for him.

And I knew it was true for them.

And I knew it was not true for me.

Something weird was happening here. Or I was delusional.

Or maybe It was lying to me, wanting me so hungry I would make a mistake.

(I knew, though: It could not lie.)

“I’ll join you,” I said, softly. “But I swear, if I see actual innocent people being… being…”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I trust the people we’re working with.”

“Web.” I clenched my jaw. (Were my teeth made of eyes, too? Calcified, maybe?)

“I don’t expect you to be there right away,” he said, and kissed my forehead again. “I don’t expect you to adjust to all this quickly. But I hope you can at least trust me.”

I stared. “That is a hell of a thing to leverage, Martin.”

“It’s that important. I wouldn’t just say that, you know.”

I did know. “You’re really serious about this.”

“I need you so much.” It was a whisper. “I’ll do anything I have to do in order to keep you from… burning out, or getting devoured by your stupid Eye, or falling afoul of the hunters.”

“Hunters?” I said.

“Later.”

We were growing quite a pile of things to talk about later. “All right. All right. I’ll come with you. Show me, Martin. I trust you.”

So help me, he regained some of his color as we walked out of the courtyard to join the others, who’d waited by the curb.

I had never been good with groups of people.

The theater group in which I met Georgie (and through her, gained at least some social skills) had helped a little.

The Magnus Institute Library employees, of whom I was merely one of many, also helped—I could tag along without pressure, camouflaged by their gregariousness.

The Archives… that group was considerably less comfortable because I felt like it was all on me.

It wasn’t. I know that now, but my promotion went straight to my head, and not in a confident way. I’d felt immediately underqualified and out of place, and wondered daily why the hell I’d accepted the position.

I knew now. I could not have refused. I didn’t know that, then. I’m not sure that understanding would have helped, either.

Still, the social aspect of things had only meant stress. To this day, I did not recall going to Martin’s birthday party and rambling about emulsions while eating rum and raisin ice cream. The Eye did not give me that memory back. I knew it happened only because Tim and Martin and Sasha had never stopped teasing me over it. Very funny, really.

(Tim. Sasha. Oh, gods…)

(Right, Archive, focus, you’re all right, they’re here now—)

(Jon. Dear lord. Focus, Jon.)

So I was obviously in a good head space for something like this.

“So you’re really Jon,” said Jane Prentiss, and something that wasn’t a tongue moved in her mouth as she spoke.

I choked a little. “Y… yeah. Hi.”

“Huh. I killed you in my world,” she said.

“I’m hearing that a lot today,” I muttered.

She smiled, and dear gods, her teeth were squirming. “I’m glad they found you. I wanted to apologize.”

“To… wh… why?”

“Well, it wasn’t really you I was mad at. It was your Eye.”

“Oh.”

Her grin made it more awkward, not less; she stepped closer. “You smell delicious, by the way.”

“Martin,” I said in a tiny, pitiful voice.

“Jane, come on, be nice,” said Martin, pulling me closer.

She laughed and backed away.

“Did everybody here kill me?” I whispered.

“Not all of them, but, uh. Possibly most?”

Fuck.

We walked past the park and into the city. It was clean; the vehicles genuinely were all electric. I saw no one who seemed down on their luck, either, which was bizarre.

What kind of idealized place was this? And what, exactly, was the hidden underside?

They were all talking, and because I have terrible timing, I decided this was the moment to whisper to Martin, “What did you mean by, ‘don’t you try to take my choices and blame yourself for them?’”

He stiffened. “I’m not ready to talk about it.”

“All right. I can wait.”

“Liar.”

I laughed. “I am not lying.”

“You can’t wait to find out,” he teased.

Gods, I wanted to kiss him. “I may have learned a little patience in a thousand years.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he challenged.

I grinned, but before I could respond, he spoke.

No. Another him spoke.

“Right,” said his voice, but it wasn’t him, and I turned slowly to find the other Martin waiting for us all on the corner.

The moment I saw him in the light of day, I knew: this Martin was Web.

Completely Web, all the way through; his smile was perfect, and his stance, and the way he shifted his weight and barely met other people’s eyes and laughed easily.

It was completely fake, and I could see it, and I felt like my skin was going to crawl right off my bones. Or whatever I had under there. Eye-bones.

He seemed to know, and he stopped to stare at me. For one moment, when I met his eyes, they were dead. Flat. Dull. There in place to hide the spiders behind them, utterly without anything resembling emotion or true life.

Then he was just Martin (so similar to my Martin, or… no. What Martin had been before everything), and smiling at everybody. “I’ve got all kinds of assignments for you today,” he said, handing out Post-It notes.

“Sure, but did you account for our latest acquisition?” said Nolan One.

Sarah Baldwin barked a laugh, and Jane elbowed her.

“I did!” said Spider Martin happily. “Jon? It’s okay if I call you Jon, right? You’re starting out with me today.” He approached me.

Don’t reach for the Eye, I told myself. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.

On my bright green Post-It was Martin’s flowing script with two addresses and the instructions, 1:30pm Martin B.; 3:00pm Mike C. “What?” I said.

“Why?” said my Martin.

“Because we’ve all got split shifts, and it seems like a good idea to help Jon get along with everybody?” said Spider Martin. “His second will be with Mike.”

“Not fair,” said my Martin, but without anguish.

Spider Martin shrugged. “It’s the best one for this afternoon. Trust me on this.”

Everyone seemed to accept this with ease. Great. They were all drinking the arachnidian Kool-Aid.

“Can I get him next time?” said Michael.

Spider Martin beamed. “Yes! Jane after that.”

“Yipee!” said Michael.

“What is happening right now?” I said.

“I think you’re popular?” said my Martin.

I did not feel popular.

“Shall we?” said Spider Martin.

“I don’t even know what we’re doing. I don’t understand. I don’t—”

My Martin cupped my cheek, turned me to him, and kissed me. Lingering. Slow. A delicate tasting of lips and tongue, a gentle whisper of love and attention, a promise. “You’ll be fine,” he murmured.

“I don’t have a box for any of this,” I murmured back. “And I think my label maker is broken.”

Martin laughed. “Your label maker of doom?”

“Something like that.”

He nuzzled me. “See you in a little bit.”

And he pulled away, paired up with Sarah Baldwin. (Stranger—and if she did anything to him, I would…)

(Would what? Would what? I didn’t know. Something terrible. Something…)

“I don’t bite,” said Spider Martin.

I looked at him.

Martin’s smile. Martin’s face. Martin’s body. No—Martin’s skin. I could feel he was crawling on the inside.

I turned away. Whatever happened to him was done. He wasn’t mine, never had been. I still wanted to react. Violently. As if to his murder.

“I’m not dead, you know,” he said.

“Yes, you are,” I whispered.

“No more than Annabelle. I know—or I’m pretty sure, anyway—that you’ll struggle with this, but I chose this path. I did. I’m happy with it, too.”

“You ended your world.”

“Pot, kettle?”

I swallowed. “Knowing I did wrong hardly exonerates you.”

“We didn’t really get to know you in my world,” said Spider Martin. “You caught up with Darren and took the book back right at Mister Spider’s front door.”

Darren. That’s what the bully’s name was. “Did I?”

“Yeah. You died pretty quickly. Your mind snapped before they could get much fear out of you, so there wasn’t a point to dragging it out.”

I turned to stare at him.

“There you are!” he said cheerily. “Your eyes were brown originally, weren’t they?”

“They were. And yours should be green.”

He beamed. “Naw.”

“Naw?”

“Blue tends to be trusted more easily. It’s racially offensive, and largely due to media influence, but there you go.”

I stared harder.

“Would you rather me pretend to be something I’m not?” he asked, putting genuine curiosity into it.

“No,” I said quietly. “I… it’s a nightmare. This. Is all.”

“Because you think it’s losing someone.”

“It is.”

“No. The Stranger—that’s losing someone. A weird ingestion and rebirth like the Distortion—that’s losing someone. This?” He gestures at himself. “This isn’t losing someone any more than you were lost.”

I wasn’t sure I hadn't been lost.

He smiled so easily. “Come on. Let me show you how this works. You’ll think better when fed,” he said, as harmless and bright as a children’s mascot.

I was already fed. Somehow. But I didn’t want to try to get into it. “Lead the way, I suppose.” Everyone else had already paired off and left. “Do you always assign partners?”

“And areas, yes. We wouldn’t want to cause harm, and the buddy system helps prevent that.”

I snorted.

“It’s true! Your Beholding might lack the ability to consider consequences, but surely you don’t think we do.”

“What, the Web has a stance against overfishing?”

“Yes! Exactly so. We didn’t even mean to end the world when we did. We’re significantly more careful now to avoid it ever happening again.”

“How did it happen, then?”

(The Eye offered to show me. I refused.)

“Get to know me a little bit better, and I’ll tell you.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to get to know him better, but I also didn’t feel like I had a choice.

In silence, he led me north, past old buildings I sort of knew, past silent cars I’d never imagined, past lovely boutiques and pubs with a distinct lack of loud music or voices coming from them.

I’d never seen a London like this. I had no idea how to feel about it.

Neither did It, and the drive to know why this was so grew in me with anticipatory joy like a child looking forward to their birthday.

I couldn’t blame It. This was absolutely unexpected. The differences in history must have been significant.

“How did your world end, anyway?” said Spider Martin. “You hardly have to tell me, of course, but I rather thought you’d prefer we hear your understanding over Manuela’s.”

I really needed to meet this woman. “And how the hell would she even know anything?”

“Same way she found you.” We turned a corner, and finally there was sound—a busker, just beginning to tune his violin. “She calculates things. Honestly, if she weren’t so firmly entrenched in the Eye, she'd have made a lovely sister.”

I stopped walking. “She’s Eye?”

“That she is. It was her desire to see more and know every world that had her prepared and able to escape when the time came.”

I couldn’t imagine Manuela Dominguez as Eye. “Then she didn’t build a Dark Sun. She didn’t hole up at Ny-Ålesund. She didn’t try to summon Mister Pitch.”

“Not her. Some of her alternates, yes, but they’re secondaries. She’s Prime.”

“Prime?”

“The first one of her kind rescued. In her case, the actual rescuer, too.” Martin produced paper money from his pocket.

It wasn’t a design I’d ever seen. “May I?”

“Of course.” He handed it over.

It was a ten-pound banknote. Julius Caesar glowered on the front of it, stern and uncompromising. The bill itself was cornflower blue; intricate guilloche in a gradient from orange to purple subtly deepened the design, and it bore such phrases as The Bank of Holy England and Toward the Greatest Empire.

Damn. I really needed to get hold of some history books.

(The Eye offered to show me how this banknote existed. How it had been designed. What the phrases meant. Why a long-dead Roman emperor decorated the front. No, I told It, firm and tamping down my need. Let me find out on my own.)

This delighted It. The joy of discovery through me was apparently worth the wait.

“What did money look like where you came from?” said Spider Martin.

“Do you actually care?” I drawled.

“Inasmuch as I’m trying to establish a decent working relationship with you, yes, I absolutely do.”

“Then surely you know telling me things is more valuable than asking.”

“What do you think I've been doing?” said Spider Martin. “We are here to pay that man over there to play ‘The Outlandish Knight,’ which he associates with a past girlfriend, with whom he associates the feeling of being trapped and controlled, and playing it makes him afraid he’ll never get free. Thus, shall I be fed. And you, my dear Archivist, merely need to watch him—because he’ll feel very, very watched, and thus shall you be fed.”

I frowned. “And he deserves this, does he?”

“In revenge against that girlfriend, he poisoned her cat.”

“He what?” Well, now I was furious.

Which (calm down, Jon) was probably on purpose. It was calculated.

“He did,” said Spider Martin. “What happened to him wasn’t nice, but he isn’t very nice, either.”

“Did the cat… die?”

“No, fortunately, though it did go blind.”

I clenched my jaw. Anger against this random man tempted. (Easy, Jon. Easy.) “If you’re lying to me, we’re going to have a problem.”

Spider Martin looked at me. “Jon, I’m not stupid enough to lie to you. You could just see it. If I lie, it’ll undo any attempts to build trust between us. All right?”

That… made sense. “All right. Why do you want to work with me, then?”

“Because we all need to work together. All of us. We’re unique in all the world, and we have a challenging existence. We need each other to keep each other balanced and prevent the world from ending again.”

Damn, but it was all logical. “Why did you call me Archivist a moment ago?”

“Because that’s what you are—and I suspected it would be easier to think of eating a bit of this man’s fear with that reminder.”

This honesty was refreshing. Maybe a little too refreshing. It was all calculated, every bit of it.

But then, it was calculated because it would be effective, and I couldn’t fault him for trying to be effective. Web was just… so disturbing about it, which was the entire point. “Will this mark him?”

“No. We’re getting a taste, caring for ourselves, but not doing enough harm to mark anyone. Most of them don’t even remember it happened after; they just shrug it off.”

I exhaled shakily.

It was heavy. Too heavy.

“Take a moment,” said Spider Martin. “Looks like you need it.”

I eyed him. “Reading my thoughts?”

“No, your face. It’s quite expressive. Whatever you’re thinking about, it’s clearly a lot?”

I hated his blue eyes.

That wasn’t his fault. Something about him just made me remember how I had watched him die.

(Then is your Martin really your Martin?)

Yes. Shut up. I couldn’t… That was not a box we were opening this afternoon. No.

Maybe not ever.

“If you’re really not ready, it’s okay,” said Spider Martin. “Last thing I want to do is upset you.”

“Sure. Because I’m so dangerous compared to the lot of you.”

“You are, actually.” Spider Martin shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. “No, I’m really not. I can hardly damage anyone the way I could at the end of my world, and I was nothing but a punching bag before that.”

He tilted his head. “Really?”

“Really.”

“That’s not what we—oh, pardon.” He took out his phone.

“Not what you what?”

Spider Martin’s eyes went wide. “Shit,” he said. “Keep up!” And he turned and ran.

Spider Martin could move. That was not at all how my Martin ran, not at all his body language or motion or mobility, and the smooth, loping speed of it was freakishly comforting compared to the mask of the one I loved.

I ran after him.

Fun fact: being made of eyes and/or light beams made me better at running than I would have guessed.

I mean. I wasn’t good at it. But I also didn’t run out of breath, or stumble, both of which would have been the case before.

I kept up with Spider Martin, who I swear was running with the use of six extra invisible legs, and that was no small thing.

“What is it?” I called at his back.

“Get ready for a fight!” he said.

“A fight? A fight with wh-”

I saw.

Hunters, Martin had said.

Nolan Two on the ground with smoke pouring out of his chest instead of blood.

Nolan One behind a car flipped onto its side, unable to stick his head around it at all because of—

What was—

What WAS that, that was—

I couldn’t understand what I saw. Purple, green, wisps of things like tentacles, not solid, and yet they were, punching holes into that car, not just reaching around it but building Nolan’s fear, and—

We turned the corner at the same time as Mike Crew and Helen Richardson, and everyone acted at once.

Coordinated? No. They’d just done this before.

Helen distorted into a tall and mutated and terrible thing and dropped straight into the sidewalk—and at the same time, a yellow door opened beneath Nolan Two, and he fell out of sight.

(I couldn’t see the attacker. I needed to see it.)

Mike bared his teeth—a horrifying look, actual anger, which he had not shown with me the day he threw me into the sky—and gestured.

Lightning struck.

Struck… what?

(I couldn’t see it! I needed to see it!)

Mike couldn’t see it, either; he struck where those tendrils were coming from, the central invisible knot of them, but evidently did not hit it, because now, it threw tendril-attacks at him. He moved, guessing as much (he could not see them, I knew he could not), staying out of the way of whatever it was punching holes where he’d been.

Spider Martin picked up another car and threw it.

That one connected; the car hit something, but was not enough to stop it, and more tendrils shot out toward Mike and Spider Martin.

I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. My eyes burned, my head throbbed—I couldn’t see it, I had to see it, I needed to see—

Michael grabbed me and pulled me into a yellow door in a wall just as one of those purple-green tendrils slammed into the sidewalk where I’d been, cracking it, penetrating below the concrete.

The Corridors. So familiar. I knew this well.

“No!” I cried, throwing myself at the door.

“Easy, Archivist,” said Michael, right up behind me, long hands draping over my shoulders to pull me back. “You aren’t ready to deal with them.”

“No! I need to see it! I need to see it!”

“Archivist,” Michael thrummed at me. “You’ll make your Martin cry.”

Martin?

Martin.

I stopped, gripping the door handle. “I… I need to… see it?”

“You will be hurt. Maybe killed. That would be terrible.”

He did not sound like it would be terrible.

I shook. “I couldn’t see it. Michael. Please. I have to see it. I have to try.”

He sighed. “Silly Archivist. As you wish.” He reached past me, all around me, and opened the door.

We were on a nearby roof, and I could look down and see.

I looked.

Looked.

(Use me, It beckoned.)

And I did.

My vision opened as it had not since I arrived here, and I saw.

Connected it was all connected

Powers like the Fears but different

All through this world every living thing everyone was marked or

Not marked something like marked already connected

Connected it was all

The thing

There

A person but not

It was three persons in one

Three of them together standing there strange dark bodysuit a gas mask

No hands

No hands only those tendrils sprouting from their arms, tendrils which now seemed so solid

Each of them moving independently (three person in there, three minds to work them) trying actively to kill us all

To kill the Nolans the Mike the Helen the

I saw, and as I did, I broke the attacker apart.

I didn't even mean to. I just saw it for what it truly was, and made reality real.

One second, it was invisible, impossible to harm, its tendrils unseen by the others. The next it stood there, a person in a weird suit—and it shuddered, and then it was three. They exploded apart, splitting the uniform and popping the gas mask like a hatched egg in rapid-time.

And now, the others could see them. Could see three naked people on the sidewalk, gasping, shuddering, heads down, vomiting.

Nolan, Mike, and Helen surged in without hesitation, all at once.

I looked away, swaying, gasping.

Michael kept me from falling off the roof. He looked amazed. “What did you do?”

Fed.

I was so fed.

I felt rich with it, blissful, drugged. Absolutely relaxed and warm and tingling to the edges of every inch of my form.

Sirens. Coming.

“Time to go!” said Michael, pulling me back through his yellow door.

The Corridors did their thing, and I felt it, and floated in it, and spun and flew and was.

Michael cried out.

So did I. We became colors and swirling paint, flowing out of the drain against gravity in beauty and madness and bliss. And then—

I woke up.

I was back in my little bed in my gray apartment. My hair was wet; I smelled of soap. My heart pounded. (Benign essential blepharospasm, perhaps?)

Martin was next to me, asleep. I stared at my boring popcorn ceiling.

Had that… happened?

Next to me, on the nightstand, was a bright green Post-It note with handwriting I didn’t know. It said, Jon. We need to talk.—JL

Leitner.

Sure. Sure, we could talk. Fuck if I knew about what, though because I had no idea what had occurred.

It was four twenty-two in the morning. Martin slept. Leitner could wait.

I watched Martin, trying to understand (had I slept? If so, it was the first time in a thousand years), trying to parse what I’d seen and what I’d done.

The Eye did not help me because It could not. It didn’t know, either, and that frightened me more than anything else I’d seen.

------

NOTES

He's like a shammy; he's like a towel; he's like a sponge! A regular towel doesn't work wet, but Jon works wet or dry. Holds 12 times his weight in trauma!

#tma #tma fanfic #tma fic #jonathan sims #tma au #magnus monsterverse #martin blackwood #web!martin #mike crew #jane prentiss #arthur nolan #michael distortion #helen distortion

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souryogurt64 · 1 year

Note

never watched stranger things bc i do not care for that shit but it's so popular that i actually wanna ask what you mean abt it being propagandistic. i trust your media analysis and you've never missed so. am sitting on the floor in front of u and listening

Huge essay on stranger things and propaganda lol

I majored in Communications in college which was a lot of media studies and we did talk about this in class from time to time so I'd like to think I'm not just a looney tune whose brain is cracked from smoking too much weed in college.

Part One: Country Depiction

Obviously ST is a fun sci-fi show that takes place during the Cold War so some of this stuff is just a given. But I think it's um... a bit interesting that this massive, massive cultural phenomenon comes out during a major US election where there's accusations of election interference by a country the US has a long history of conflict and propaganda and ideological type warfare with. And then that angle of the show seems to steadily ramp up as time goes on.

With the most recent season especially, the structure of the release and the runtime of the episodes was a bit strange, and this season was released shortly after the whole thing with NATO and products made in that country being pulled from US shelves.

Obviously they had been filming for years and I think this weirdness was partially due to Covid, but also. They brought back a beloved character, who was a cop, from the dead this season with no explanation whatsoever so he and the other side characters could go on this elaborate mission.

This subplot had very little effect on the main plot of the series, and I have only watched it once, but I imagine if you removed this subplot from the show, nothing would change up until the very end when all the characters are emotionally reunited.

This entire subplot revolved around portraying this country in a very negative light in ways that were much more horrific and violent and disturbing than the content of past seasons of the show (IMO), and included some historical information about this country that was factually incorrect (peanut butter being illegal) as a main driving narrative force in this subplot. The previous season had also employed this tactic with red icees.

Part Two: Govt. Lore Retconning

A lot of the most recent season especially retconned a lot of the central lore of the show. IIRC, the first three seasons seemed to toy with the idea that the Cold War itself and the military's experiments and desire for total destruction and power had opened up this dark supernatural world by torturing children to be weapons, which is a really cool premise obviously. They were also portrayed as a primary villain and trying to kill Eleven because of the powers they had given her via horrific experimentation and training.

Yeah, there were monsters, but they were just like wild animals without true sentience, and were a side effect of the military's poor decisions. This aspect of the show was based in MKUltra. MKUltra was a real thing that happened where the military tried to develop mind control and other stuff. Obviously MKUltra didn't accomplish this, but people actually died, were tortured, and were destroyed mentally and it was illegal.

In this season. God. In this season, one of the main villains and the head of the child experimentation program, "Papa," is suddenly brought back from the dead and presented as morally gray. Basically, they retcon the previous lore of the show by creating this character named Henry, who was a child that randomly developed horrific powers and tortured and killed his parents and was adopted by Papa and studied until he grew into an adult, and the experiments on other children were to try and replicate Henry's powers.

Part Three: Henry

There is no explanation for how Henry was created whatsoever. None. Zero. He just spawned from nowhere. Papa is also weirdly somewhat redeemed before his death in the most emotional scene of the season, and several sympathetic government characters are introduced as well. Until this season, Papa had been using Eleven to attempt to retrieve monsters from the sci-fi world to use in war, but now it's revealed Papa was just driven by mad by grief and was trying to rescue Henry from the sci-fi world the whole time.

I cannot stress enough that the addition of Henry retcons the basis of the entire show and a lot of the important ideological themes within it about power and greed creating evil. It also makes no fucking narrative sense.

The explanation of Henry's backstory is that he's a young child that is angry his father is a former soldier that burned a baby to death while fighting in WW2. The father says this was a mistake. So Henry inexplicably and randomly develops superpowers and decides to torture and kill his mother and younger sister and frame his father as punishment.

Henry's backstory of being angry that innocent children die horrifically in war also resembles a lot of propaganda-type plots in sci-fi- I think Killmonger in the Black Panther series is seeking to end the oppression of Africa and Magneto in X Men is a Holocaust survivor who is concerned about mutants being killed for being different. Except these characters just start killing everybody for reasons that are kind of narratively unsound to make their whole ideology seem insane and unreasonable.

Part Four: Copaganda

Next, the first few episodes of the most recent season contained scenes that were very difficult to watch from an emotional standpoint but were completely and utterly ludicrous from a writing perspective. For background, the cop's adopted daughter and main character of the show, a 14 year old girl named Eleven, switches schools and is horrifically bullied en masse by both adults and older students because she is traumatized after her police officer father supposedly died rescuing people in a "fire." (Not a fire, sci-fi related, but that's not important lol).

The writing is so unrealistic it is almost obscene and culminates in a scene where a handful of other students take over an entire roller rink to publicly humiliate Eleven for being a "crybaby" and telling her she can't cry to her daddy because he's dead. This is in front of a million people, no one stops it, and the employees participate, but as soon as Eleven retaliates, the police are called and Eleven is taken to literal actual PRISON.

A big part of the show is Eleven having speech issues and difficulty fitting in since she was raised as an experiment in a lab, so it's... Interesting that the show chose to make the recent death of her adopted father as the reason she is singled out by her peers rather than this. It's like they wanted to attach this series of emotional scenes on the idea that people, especially young people, have no respect for cops putting their lives on the line to save people and think cops dying is the funniest thing in the world.

Conclusion

Everyone knows propaganda happens deliberately with stuff like Marvel, Top Gun, The Wire, every other cop show, etc. So I don't think this is too far fetched even if I feel a bit crazy saying this and it might not be that deep haha but I definitely thought it was kind of glaring in the most recent season to the point of being a bit distracting as the plot no longer made a lot of sense

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