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thesewordsareallihavetogive · 2 years

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ch. 3: A Safe Place to Land - Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x nurse!reader

Summary: 5k words. After an unexpected breakup with her long-term boyfriend, y/n had one goal: to keep her head down and finish her travel nursing contract as soon as possible. That was until Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw derailed her plan entirely. Just as y/n finished picking up the pieces of her broken heart, Rooster came along and showed y/n what it’s like to be loved again–if only she’ll let him in.

Warnings: so much is going on, buckle up y’all. descriptions of injury, medical situations, references to a shitty ex, fluffy domestic tingz, references to ~s*xual activities~ (but no actual smut), alcohol mention, violence/assault mention, guys being dudes, & cursing

a/n: hi hi hi!! once again–thank you guys so much for the feedback & support! i love hearing what you have to say & i’m so glad you’re enjoying this series with me 🥰 i took total creative liberty w developing coyote’s character in this chapter ngl. this man did not get enough screen time so i may or may not have modeled his personality after his wonderful actor, greg tarzan davis (beloved). sorry not sorry. enjoy y’all!

series master list | master list

The front desk staff at the base emergency room became pretty familiar with a certain lieutenant over the next few weeks. Rooster made a habit of dropping by the ER after trainings a couple times a week when he knew y/n was on shift. On the third time he came in in less than two weeks, the triage receptionist rolled her eyes.

“Let me guess, Bradshaw for nurse y/n?”

“Yes ma’am,” the pilot grinned widely.

y/n was almost always busy and had her hands full with patients, but she always made time for Bradley.

“What is it this time, Rooster?” y/n asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“I got a paper cut while passing out training schedules to the new students,” he groaned. His puppy dog face was pathetic and y/n was so glad he was never in a position where he’d have to lie for this job. He was a terrible liar.

y/n rolled her eyes and playfully swatted his arm with her clipboard. The butterflies awoke again at the thought that Rooster went out of his way just to see her. She was careful not to be too unprofessional at work, but she couldn’t help but walk the line with Rooster.

y/n was certain Bradley started stubbing his toes on purpose in the hanger so he’d have an excuse to come in. After the second time she refused to make sure his big toe was okay, she banned him from visiting for inconsequential injuries. That didn’t mean he stopped visiting altogether though.

On Rooster’s days off or the rare occasion he had a longer lunch break, he met y/n during her break. His favorite part about visiting her at the ER was the stolen kisses they shared behind the cover of vending machines.

The random visits weren’t one-sided. y/n suddenly took an interest in exploring the unrestricted zones on base and was ‘surprised’ when she bumped into her favorite aviator. There were downsides to venturing outside of the hospital while on base though. After the third time y/n got a glimpse of her ex from afar, she told Rooster she’d rather hang out at either of their houses rather than walk around base together. She didn’t tell him exactly why, but the aviator wasn’t blind. Bradley saw the way she tensed when a specific aircraft carrier team was in the vicinity and it bothered him that y/n’s ex still managed to get under her skin.

On the other hand, Rooster couldn’t complain too much. The trade-off meant that he and y/n spent far more time together off base, where they could both let loose. In the comfort of each other's homes, they didn’t have to stifle laughter or sneak kisses–which might’ve been Rooster’s favorite part of the arrangement.

For the first time in a long time, Rooster looked forward to going home. He was so used to sitting in silence by himself, nursing a beer while a baseball game droned on in the background. Now, his nights were often filled with dumb jokes, dancing in the kitchen, and having y/n sleep over at his house.

Rooster even passed on going out with the squadron to The Hard Deck a few times with the promise of spending his nights with y/n.

“Rooster, if you’re going to ditch us for a girl, you could at least introduce her to us,” Fanboy complained after Rooster declined a second invitation to The Hard Deck in less than two weeks.

“Maybe I will,” Rooster smiled, clapping his friend on the back before leaving the base.

It was totally an accident. Coyote was talking to an aviator from a different squadron between the F/A 18Fs that were parked just off the taxiway. He didn’t realize the particular jet he was closest to had been flown very recently, so when he casually rested his arm on one of the rear engines he was unpleasantly surprised by the burning sensation searing his arm.

That’s how Coyote found himself in the emergency room with a spunky nurse tending to his wound. He winced as she assisted him in running his arm under cool water. After gently patting his wound dry, she cleaned her own hands again. The nurse reviewed Coyote’s chart and led him back to the exam table to bandage his arm.

“You fighter pilots are so clumsy,” y/n chastised as she pulled out burn ointment and bandage supplies. She mostly said it for her own amusement, but Coyote gladly took it as bait and ran with it.

“Oh yeah? Who else do you know that can burn themselves on a jet engine?” Coyote teased, puffing out his chest. y/n snorted and focused her attention back on the aviator’s wound.

“I’m afraid that’s confidential patient information, Lieutenant Machado.” Between the painkillers Coyote took on his way to the hospital and y/n’s gentle touch, the ointment spread over his wound didn’t hurt nearly as much as he thought it would.

“Lieutenant Machado?” Coyote tsked at y/n’s use of his official title. “Miss me with that formal shit, homegirl. Call me Coyote,” he grinned, waving his eyebrows with a mischievous glint in his eyes. This time around, y/n was able to piece together by herself that Coyote was her patient’s call sign. With a raised eyebrow she met the pilot’s eyes once she finished securing his bandage.

“Homegirl, huh?” The interaction was rather amusing to y/n, especially since Coyote wasn’t trying to make a move on her like all her other patients did. All of their lewd comments fell on deaf ears, especially after y/n met Bradley.

“Yes ma’am,” Coyote said with a friendly smile. y/n rolled her eyes playfully but returned the smile with one of her own before reciting aftercare instructions. When she left Coyote at the discharge desk, she had a moment to breathe in between patients. She checked her phone and saw a text from Bradley.

5:01 p.m. How does dinner and a movie at my place tonight sound? I’ll cook :) - Rooster 🐓

5:33 p.m. That sounds great! I’ll make sure the fire department is on stand-by - y/n

5:34 p.m. Haha, very funny. - Rooster 🐓

y/n smiled to herself and pocketed her phone as she made her way towards her next patient’s room. The prospect of spending the evening with Rooster after a 12-hour shift was enough to power her through the final 2 hours.

After a brief stop home to shower and change out of her scrubs, y/n showed up at Rooster’s door with a six-pack of their favorite beer. When Bradley opened the door, y/n was greeted with a sheepish smile and a burning smell wafting out from the kitchen. y/n gave him a pointed look before she handed over the beer and stood on her tiptoes to give him a peck on the lips.

While Rooster placed the beers in the fridge, y/n glanced around the kitchen. She noted the smoky aroma and recently dismantled fire alarm, but most of all, the charred remnants of something in a casserole dish sitting on the stove caught her attention. Rooster quietly watched y/n take in the surroundings and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“‘Good with my hands’, my ass,” y/n teased, giving the aviator the side-eye. Bradley’s nerves were suddenly gone and a mischievous grin spread across his face as he moved to stand right in front of y/n.

“Baby, you know first hand that I’m very good with my hands,” Rooster’s grin spread wider across his face while he looked down at y/n, towering over her. y/n concealed a heavy swallow–Rooster’s comment reminded her of some fun memories they made the other night.

“Hush, Bradley,” y/n said and swatted his chest. The pink tinge on y/n’s cheeks was enough of a victory for Bradley.

The pair flitted around the kitchen and worked on resolving their dinner, or lack thereof, issue. Rooster opened the window and turned on the ceiling fan before working on repairing the fire alarm. The tall bastard hardly needed a step stool to reach it. y/n took it upon herself to call in a Chinese take-out order.

“Get me some shrimp lo mein, please. And some spring rolls. And some General Tso’s chicken,” Rooster requested, focused intently on the tiny screws holding up the fire alarm.

“Are we feeding the Navy or just you, Brad?” y/n teased. Rooster rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at y/n.

An old ‘80s album played in the background and a candle that y/n was 90% sure was left by the last tenant burned as the pair debated which movie they should watch. Their discussion about whether or not Shrek 2 was an appropriate date night film was tabled when the doorbell rang. Rooster beat y/n to the door and handed the deliveryman cash before y/n could pull out her wallet. Chivalrous asshole.

They settled on watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off after eating. Halfway into the movie, y/n fell asleep with her head on Rooster’s shoulder. He didn’t mind at all, of course; after y/n worked two 12-hour days in a row, Rooster was surprised she agreed to come over in the first place. By the end of the movie, y/n was completely cuddled against Bradley’s side, with her legs tucked against his and her arm draped over his abdomen.

Rooster smiled softly and gently traced invisible patterns on y/n’s exposed skin. Though they’d kissed and held hands countless times, physical intimacy was hard for y/n. She was still guarded in some ways after her breakup–hesitance to cuddle was unfortunately one of those ways. The pair had only cuddled a few times in their six weeks of seeing each other, all of which occurred after hooking up.

Bradley sat on the couch with y/n against him long after the movie ended, simply content to have her by his side. With y/n in his arms, his house felt like a home. Being in the Navy meant that Rooster always had something to die for. Now? He had something to live for. That realization scared the shit out of him.

Rooster cursed the hands on the analog clock as the time ticked closer to midnight. The gentle rise and fall of y/n’s chest brought him a peace he hadn’t felt in years. Freezing time to stay on the couch with y/n by his side sounded like a pretty good idea to Bradley at that moment.

But, the lieutenant had an early morning training session ahead of him. From past experience after nights out partying, Rooster knew that if he wasn’t asleep sooner rather than later, his 6:00 a.m. alarm would be especially brutal. With a resigned sigh, Rooster moved to wake y/n up. Softly rubbing her shoulder didn’t seem to be doing the trick, so he resorted to planting gentle kisses on her forehead instead. Once y/n’s eyes fluttered open and she let out a groan in protest, Rooster knew she was awake enough.

“Honey, I gotta get you home. We both have work in the morning,” Rooster whispered with a bittersweet smile as he watched y/n stretch her arms and rub the sleep from her eyes.

“Roos…” y/n whined and flopped her head back against the couch. Despite having washboard abs and rock-hard muscles, Bradley made a damn good pillow. Hearing y/n near moan her new nickname for him did things to Rooster. His willpower was weakening by the minute.

y/n stood from the couch with a huff and gathered her things. She slung her purse over one shoulder and held one of Rooster’s hoodies that she claimed after a midnight tryst in Rooster’s bronco. She was halfway to the front door before she noticed Rooster was behind her.

“Why are you following me, hot shot? You have training tomorrow morning,” y/n yawned around her words and gently punched his bicep for emphasis. Rooster took her fist and kissed the back of it, before entwining their fingers together.

“I’m driving you home,” he said, as if it was obvious. y/n’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She drove herself to Rooster’s house, she didn’t see any reason that she wouldn’t be able to drive herself home. Bradley playfully rolled his eyes as he watched the metaphorical cogs spinning behind y/n’s tired eyes. She was stubborn as hell, but that was one of the things he liked about her.

“You can hardly keep your eyes open and are yawning every 10 seconds. I’m not letting you drive like that,” the pilot said firmly, though his tone was tender. y/n would’ve typically taken that as a challenge, but before she could argue back Rooster cut her off.

“Or, you could just spend the night here,” he suggested, waving his eyebrows with a grin.

“Ha, nice try, Bradshaw,” y/n snorted but accepted the ride. He was right about her being on the verge of falling asleep standing up, but she wasn’t going to admit defeat that easily.

Rooster followed y/n out to the driveway and opened the passenger door for her. “What a gentleman,” she cooed and accepted his steadying hand as she climbed up into the vehicle. y/n nearly fell asleep again in the short ride to her house. Bradley pulled y/n from her sleepy haze by gently rubbing his thumb along her inner thigh–his hand had been resting there during the entire drive and his resolve was growing impossibly thin.

“What time do you want me to pick you up in the morning?” Rooster asked and cleared his throat. Sleep was starting to pull at his tired eyelids too. y/n shot him a quizzical look and muttered a soft “huh?” in between yawns.

“For work tomorrow morning. I’m leaving you stranded without a car, so the least I can do is give you a ride to the hospital,” Rooster spoke lowly and squeezed y/n’s hand. Maybe it was her tired brain fog or the way y/n got caught up in Bradley’s moonlight-illuminated features that caused her to pause and simply stare at the man before her. The ridiculously handsome, intelligent, funny, but most of all kind and considerate man before her.

y/n leaned forward wordlessly and delivered a tender kiss on Bradley’s lips. Unlike the passionate kisses they shared during their trips to the beach or in secrecy at work, this kiss was sweet and slow and perfect.

“I’ll see you at 6:40, lieutenant,” y/n whispered against Rooster’s lips once she pulled away. y/n left him with a final peck and a soft “goodnight, Roos,” before sliding out of the car. Bradley sat in the driveway for a few minutes until he was sure y/n made it inside okay before heading back towards his own house. Sleep came easy that night for both of them, especially with the promise of seeing each other again in the morning.

Sure enough, Rooster showed up at y/n’s front door at 6:40 a.m. the following morning with two hot coffees in hand.

The Hard Deck was just as lively as y/n remembered it being when she and Rooster entered with their hands intertwined. Oldies music pumped out from the vintage jukebox, making the bar feel like a walk-in time capsule. y/n might’ve actually believed she was right back in the ‘80s if it weren’t for the significant portion of female sailors and pilots in the bar.

Penny smiled from across the bar to Rooster and y/n. She was busy tending to the patrons–especially since Pete “Maverick” Mitchell had her attention–but always made a point to greet Rooster, and now y/n too. His visits to The Hard Deck had become less frequent over the past two months and Penny saw that he had a pretty good reason why.

y/n and Rooster waded through the crowded bar towards a pool table in the back corner. It was hidden behind the countless energetic bodies packed into the bar, but Rooster was sure he could find it if he were blindfolded with how many times he’s hung around it over the years. When people got too close to y/n for Rooster’s comfort, he let go of her hand and wrapped an arm around her waist instead, pulling her closer to his body. She could hold her own, he knew that, but he still felt protective.

Bradley was nervous about bringing y/n to meet his friends. He liked hanging out with them, but they weren’t always conscious of boundaries and were relentlessly nosy. To top it all off, he and y/n still hadn’t put any kind of label on their relationship yet. He was sure their lack of title would draw up its own line of questioning from the aviators.

“We can go if you want,” Rooster spoke against y/n’s ear to be heard over the rowdy crowd. He warned her on the drive over that his friends might be a little overbearing, but she laughed and brushed it off.

“Brad, I’ll be fine,” y/n reassured him for the second time that night. When the pool table and the pilots around it finally came into view, y/n smiled at the sight of a familiar lieutenant.

“Homegirl!” Coyote shouted, drawing the attention of those around him. y/n waved in greeting, amused by Coyote’s especially enthusiastic nature after he had a couple drinks.

“You two know each other?” Rooster asked, confused. y/n’s lips were sealed when she looked up at Rooster. The pair was pretty good at reading each other’s faces–sneaking around the hospital and base hallways made sure of that–so he had a feeling that y/n wasn’t at liberty to tell Rooster exactly how she knew Coyote. His feeling was proved right when Javy loudly told everyone how y/n treated his burn wound in the ER last week.

While Payback, Hangman, and Fanboy busted Coyote’s chops for the umpteenth time for burning himself on a jet engine, y/n gladly accepted the bar stool Phoenix offered to her. The nurse knew some of the group’s call signs from the stories Rooster shared, but she couldn’t attach names to faces yet. Phoenix, however, was a pretty easy guess considering she was the only other woman sitting with the group of Navy men. Brave girl.

When the boys were finished making fun of Coyote, Rooster introduced y/n to the group. He started with Phoenix and Bob, moved onto Fanboy, Payback, and Coyote, then reluctantly finished with Hangman.

“So, Rooter has a hen?” Hangman said with a cocky smile. The man oozed confidence, which was pretty typical of the Navy men y/n met while working at the base hospital. His smirk was mischievous, maybe even flirty, but y/n saw right through him and read him like a book. Rooster smirked to himself as he watched y/n politely smile. She was totally psychoanalyzing the bastard.

The night went smoothly, especially after y/n and Rooster both had a beer or two in them to loosen up. The laughs were loud and their smiles were wide as the aviators shared stories from their various deployments and missions–the details that weren’t classified, anyway. Eventually, the conversation devolved into a pissing contest about who could do the trickiest in-air maneuvers, who completed the most precarious missions, and who was the best aviator. y/n was biased, of course, so she sat back and watched with a smile as the pilots debated animatedly.

When there was a lull in the conversation, Bob spoke up, much to everyone’s surprise. Bob told y/n in between conversations earlier that his sister was a nurse and they briefly discussed their common ground before they were pulled in opposite directions.

“I bet y/n probably has more hand-to-hand combat experience than all of us combined,” Bob joked in response to the recent discussion about which pilot was a better fighter. y/n let out a chuckle before clinking her beer bottle against Bob’s with a knowing glint in her eye.

“What does he mean by that, homegirl?” Coyote was the first to speak up once the group of aviators focused their attention on y/n. They were a little lost, not quite sure what to make of Bob’s comment. y/n sighed and took a swig of beer, managing to keep a soft smile on her face through her next words.

“I’ve been working in hospitals for about eight years now, so I’ve had my fair share of aggressive patients,” y/n answered simply with a shrug. She subconsciously pulled a piece of hair from behind her ear to cover a scar she’d received from a particularly violent patient. Bradley watched y/n intently through the whole exchange and his heart ached when he noticed the small faded scar.

Rooster’s jaw clenched when he thought about anyone putting their hands on y/n, especially the patients she cared for. Despite the simmering rage brewing inside him, the aviator’s touch was gentle as he rubbed soothing circles on y/n’s hip where his hand had been resting. When Rooster looked at her again, seemingly lost in his thoughts, y/n squeezed his hand under the table and sent him a reassuring smile.

The group of aviators knew their jobs were dangerous–the understanding that each time they took off into the air might be their last served as motivation to push harder and take risks. The possibility of life-threatening injuries and death were simply an occupational hazard. The decorated pilots were so immersed in their own line of work that they often forgot about what work looked like for people on the ground, much less civilians. y/n sitting in front of them casually mentioning she’d been assaulted on more than one occasion while at work was almost humbling for them.

After a brief moment of silence, Fanboy realized the group of aviators hadn’t really shut up about themselves the entire night, so he asked y/n more about her work. The nurse absolutely lit up at the opportunity to talk about her job. Sure, she had some not-so-pleasant experiences while on the clock, but the good outweighed the bad by far. y/n went on animatedly about how she got into nursing, the different units she worked in over the years, and how she decided the ER was where she belonged. y/n didn’t have quite the travel stories that the naval aviators did, but she did have an impressive travel nursing resume–13 cities in the span of 4 years, to be exact.

y/n also treated them to some of her grossest case stories. The grimaces and groans from the macho pilots made her laugh and only spurred her on further. When she was certain her face might crack in two from smiling and laughing at their disgusted reactions, Hangman changed the subject. The blonde aviator hoped to spare himself from another horrifying open fracture or maggot-infested wound story. He did get a kick out of the baby-mama-drama stories though.

“I think y/n deserves a call sign,” Hangman grinned. He was slightly buzzed at this point, but fully cognizant of his words. y/n barely finished her half-assed protest about it not being necessary before Phoenix piped up with a name idea.

“How about ‘Patches’, since she’s always fixing you bozos up,” Phoenix said, shooting pointed looks to Rooster and Coyote in particular. The two of them grinned while the group mulled over the nickname. Nothing better came up, so Patches it was.

“Doesn’t Patches sound like a cat’s name?” y/n wrinkled her nose as she pondered the name. She wasn’t strongly opposed to it, per se, but it was definitely… unique.

“Maybe, but you’re stuck with it now, babe,” Rooster said, pressing a kiss to y/n’s forehead.

Conversation flowed easily within the squadron. It was more like a chaotic overlapping of two or more discussions at a time, but y/n appreciated it nonetheless. She had moved around quite a bit in the past several years, so it was tough to make friends, much less keep up with a large group. Rooster relished how y/n relaxed into his side and leaned her head against his shoulder. PDA was tough for her given her rocky romantic history and guardedness, so his heart swelled at the small gesture.

Unfortunately, the peace only lasted for so long. A few of the aviators clocked a burning stare being sent their way from across the bar.

“Why is Captain Richards staring at us?” Payback asked with all the discreteness a tipsy Navy man could muster. Most of the squadron didn’t know who the higher ranking officer was personally, but there were murmurs around the base of the decorated Captain and how he ran a tight ship—literally. After all, the only thing that spreads faster than STDs in the barracks was rumors.

A few of the aviators did know Ethan Richards from their abundant time spent on aircraft carriers, much to y/n’s chagrin. She glanced over her shoulder and visibly stiffened when her eyes locked with her ex’s. The bastard had the audacity to smirk at y/n. Something about Ethan’s nonchalance and cockiness lit a fire under y/n’s ass. She was tired of covering for him. She owed him nothing.

“-because he’s an ass.”

“-because he’s my ex.” Rooster and y/n answered at the same time. Bradley sounded agitated, but it didn’t spread to his face. For a terrible liar, he had a decent poker face. y/n on the other hand answered with a flat tone but smirked at Rooster’s remark.

Payback and Phoenix both choked on their beers and the rest of the group dropped their jaws in shock. Hangman was impressed, judging by the smirk that spread across his face. He took a break from toying with the toothpick between his lips to mutter “Damn, Patches.”

Rooster’s hardened face and y/n’s annoyed look wordlessly let the squadron know that it was in their best interest not to ask any questions. y/n thought she’d be bothered or upset when she saw Ethan for the first time in almost a month, but she felt oddly grounded. She suspected her confidence was sourced from the brooding aviator next to her. Rooster put on a tough guy act—hell, it was second nature to him now after all his time in the navy—but y/n was slowly learning how he ticked. Over time, she figured out that he was just an extremely guarded and protective teddy bear. Her teddy bear.

Rooster and y/n took a break from drinking at the table top and moved towards the squadron’s long abandoned game of pool. y/n told Bradley she didn’t know how to play when he handed her a cue stick; whether or not that was true was beside the point when Rooster moved behind her and started ‘teaching’ her. y/n couldn’t remember whose benefit her white lie was for once Bradley’s chest was pressed against her back and they leaned over the pool table, but she couldn’t have cared less. He helped her line up a perfect shot and sure enough, she hit a three-in-one.

Goosebumps erupted on y/n’s neck when Bradley whispered pointers and tips into her ear throughout the game, his breath hot on her neck. y/n shivered and looked up to see Rooster grinning. The bastard knew exactly the effect he had on y/n. Later on in the game, it became very apparent that y/n bluffed about her lack of pool skills. The game was fair, but y/n was mopping the floor with Rooster, especially after he showed her his tricks.

An excruciating hour of pining, not-so-innocent touching, and innuendos passed while Bradley sobered up to drive y/n home. His fellow aviators left the bar one by one during the pool game, each one making sure to say goodbye to y/n before they left. Hangman even managed to pull y/n into a side hug, not that she minded. The wink and devious grin Jake sent Rooster’s way earned him a subtle jab to the ribs from y/n. Oops.

After three games, Rooster and y/n had worn themselves out and were ready to leave. When y/n looked back towards the spot she’d seen Ethan before, he was nowhere to be found—just how she liked him. By the end of the night, y/n beat Bradley 2 to 1 in their unofficial pool tournament. Rooster tried to tease y/n by saying he let her win, but she wasn’t having it.

“Take that back, Bradshaw!” y/n lightly shoved Rooster’s arm, her jaw dropped in offense.

“Okay, okay, damn! You won fair and square, Patches.”

y/n paused to think as they walked towards Rooster’s bronco in the parking lot.

“Patches totally sounds like a cat name,” y/n decided with a pout. Rooster led them towards the parked car with y/n’s hand in his own.

“I think it’s perfect for you. Since you’re cuddly. But also sometimes a bit of an assho-“

“Rooster!” y/n exclaimed, on the verge of delivering another swat to his arm.

“I’m kidding, baby. I like the call sign, but I like you even more,” Bradley stopped them in the middle of the parking lot to wrap his arms around y/n’s waist and press a kiss to her lips. y/n hummed contentedly and gave up the argument.

“We can’t tell anyone about this conversation. It’ll fuck up my scary ER nurse reputation,” y/n stated, sticking out her pinky for Rooster to wrap his own around.

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

a/n: it's my AU and i'll do what i want to (to the tune of Lesley Gore's "It's My Party"

lmk what y'all think!! xx

#rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun: maverick #bradley bradshaw #nurse!reader #rooster x y/n #bradley bradshaw x y/n #a safe place to land #tw: alcohol mention #tw: description of injury #tw: medical situation #tw: violence mention #tw: assault mention

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a-crumb-of-whump · 1 year

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A New Beginning #10: Needs To Know

Masterlist

Content: Multiple caretakers, non-human whumpee, human caretaker(s), [mentioned/implied] non-con, photographed without consent, [implied] PTSD/trauma, [mentioned] starvation, recovery.

“It’s finally open!”

Adam laughed, tagging along behind Ryker as he excitedly pulled him towards the new toy store that had finally opened about a week ago. From what they’d been able to make out online, it had a lot of fidget/stim toys and Ryker was more than ready to add to his collection, despite having virtually no space left for them.

He had to admit, it was a pretty little store. There was very little in terms of things he personally enjoyed, but Ryker was already headed straight for table with the fidget toys on them; practically bouncing the entire way. It was like watching a child find their way around a candy store.

“See anything you like?”

“Are you kidding? I want it all.” As soon as Adam stepped in closer to him, Ryker grabbed him by the hand and held on to it; biting his lower lip. “This was a terrible idea. Gonna walk outta here with nothing left in the bank account and a whole lotta toys.”

Adam rolled his eyes and reached out to grab the rope of a feather-shaped chew necklace. “Don’t be so dramatic. It’s all cheap. Grab what you want. I get paid tomorrow anyways. Do you think Carlos would enjoy something like this?” He held it out to him. “Might stop him from chewing on his sleeves so much.”

“Yeah, it might!” the taller one of the two chirped. Then he turned to look at Adam again, as if trying to get a sense of his tone. Adam found that sometimes he couldn’t tell, nor could he identify sarcasm or jokes when other people made them. It’d gotten worse over the past year or two, but he knew it’d always been there.

“Can I really get what I want?”

Adam shrugged. “Sure. Maybe try and keep it under twenty dollars, but I’m not gonna be mad if you go over. Besides, you’ll have heaps of new stuff to show Carlos when we get home.”

After excitedly fist-bumping the air, he dove right back into the toys; picking out every colour he liked and gawking over the amount of toys there were that he’d never even seen before. If it weren’t for the fact that he kept turning around and showing Adam everything he picked up, he could have sworn the guy had forgotten he was even there.

It must have been nearly forty five minutes of wandering the toy store and chatting to the worker before Ryker finally announced that he was ready. By then, he had both his hands full with toys and a sheepish grin on his face as he sidled up to the counter to pay for them.

“Carlos is gonna love these,” he said confidently, already placing each toy inside the bag as she scanned them. “Maybe I should make a communal area for my toys so he can use them, too?”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? You’re usually super cagey about people touching them.”

“Yeah! I mean – usually I am, yeah, but this is Carlos. I trust him.” He shuffled back and forth on his feet for a moment, as if contemplating what to say next. “Plus… it’s kinda nice having someone around that understands the enjoyment of these kinds of things. I love you, but you’re kinda boring.”

“Me?” Adam sputtered. He could hear the woman behind the counter snickering. “Boring? I think not.”

Ryker leaned down to kiss his temple. “Of course not.”

After they’d finished paying, the two placed their stuff in the car and made a quick trip to the post office to pick up a package that had arrived several days ago. It was addressed to Ryker, who decided to open it before they headed home.

Despite not looking over at him, Adam could practically feel Ryker’s body stiffening the moment he read the note that was attached to the inside of the box.

“Who’s it from?”

“My dad,” he answered, voice lowering a little in volume as he placed the note down and slowly began to examine each of the things inside the box. There were several scrapbooks and dozens of loose photographs inside, all facing downwards. As soon as he flipped the first one over, Adam felt his stomach lurch.

Ryker’s balled up hands shook as he looked at each of the photos, one by one. Each of them involved Carlos, either restrained in some way or so beat up that he couldn’t have made it too far anyway. He had no clothes on in any of them, and there was blood splattered everywhere. All the photos seemed to have a similar theme. In some of them, he had a gag in his mouth. In others, it was a muzzle that clearly burned wherever it touched him. Despite the vampire’s inability to be affected by drugs, he looked as if he’d been given something.

Maybe it was just the lack of food.

Adam reached out to take Ryker’s hand into his own, slipping his fingers between his larger ones in an attempt to gain his attention. “I think we need to put them away.”

“Fucking monster.” Ryker put the now-crumpled photos back into the box and tossed it into the back seat. Adam could see his face getting redder and redder with every passing minute, and he wasn’t sure how to help. “How can anyone be that fucking cruel? I didn’t-“

He suddenly paused, as if trying to compose himself before he started talking again. Adam heard him suck in a breath before releasing it again; the hand that was in his never loosening.

“I knew he liked hurting him, but I had no idea about the photos he took of him when he did. Some of them look like they were taken recently. Like… a-week-before-I-picked-him-up recent. What am I supposed to tell him when we get home? ‘Hey, there’s a box in the back of my car with a heap of vulnerable photos of you in it’?”

“We’ll figure that out. Carlos isn’t expecting us home for another hour, so how about we buy some food and sit by the water for a while? Might help you to clear your head a bit before we head back.”

After a long pause, Adam felt Ryker lean his head on his shoulder and wordlessly nod; huffing slightly under his breath. “Do you feel like ice cream?”

Adam snorted. “Sure.”

Carlos was curled up on the couch with the animals when the humans finally arrived home almost an hour later.

“Good afternoon!” he chirped, a lazy smile on his face as he waved at them from under the quilt that was usually draped over the side of the couch. He made a brief attempt to crawl out from underneath the pets but the weight of them kept him grounded, so he was forced to greet them from afar. “Did you have a good time?”

“We most certainly did,” Adam answered on his way to the kitchen. “Ryker got a heap of new things for you both to use.”

The vampire immediately lit up and turned his attention back to Ryker, who offered a smile of his own the moment he saw that he was looking at him. “Really? Like what?”

“Do you remember when I showed you all the stress toys I have in my cupboard? Well, I found a new place that’s opened up that sells them, so I may have gone and bought a heap of stuff. Including this necklace,” he said as he reached into the bag. As soon as he handed it to him, Carlos took it and smiled; commenting on how pretty it is.

“You think so? Well, then it’s both aesthetically pleasing and useful. We got it for you to chew on. Thought it might help stop you from chewing on your sleeves so much.”

Carlos tilted his head. “Does it work?”

“Sure! Lots of people use them, especially those with anxiety. You don’t have to use it like that if you don’t want to, but we saw it and thought it might help you.”

Much to Ryker’s delight, Carlos seemed to love it. He slipped it around his neck and tucked it inside his shirt, admitting that he wanted to keep it clean while he cuddled with the animals. The rest of the toys were tucked safely away inside the cupboard that held all Ryker’s other things until he was able to find a communal area to put them in.

“So…”

Ryker jumped the moment he heard Adam’s voice from the bedroom door. He sat up a little and glanced over at him, just to see him leaning against the doorframe with a hand on his hip.

“You gonna talk to him about those photos?”

“No.”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

Slumping back against the headboard once more, Ryker pulled his favourite pillow close to his chest and continued to squeeze the pink stress ball in his hand. Though he tried his damn hardest not to let it show, he felt sick. Through all the years that he’d been alive, he’d never known that his father had evidence of the things he’d done. The implications of several photos within that pile weren’t lost on him either. He knew Carlos had been assaulted a lot over the years, both physically and sexually, but he hadn’t realised his own father had contributed to that.

“He doesn’t need to know about those photos,” the human muttered. “Not yet.”

“I think he does need to know-“

“Not yet,” he insisted, firmer this time. “I will tell him when I feel it’s right, but not right now. That fucker has hurt him enough.”

Adam was uncomfortably tentative as he sat down beside him on the bed and let one of his hands come to rest on his thigh. “How would you feel if someone did that to you?” he asked quietly. He no doubt felt Ryker stiffen irritably beside him the moment he asked. That was enough of an answer. “I know you’re doing your best, my love, but this – no matter how hard the conversation may be – is something he deserves to know.”

He was right. Deep down, Ryker knew he was right, though he hated to admit it. The idea of ruining the streak of good days Carlos had been having lately saddened him immensely.

But he was right.

“…I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

Adam pressed his forehead into Ryker’s shoulder and squeezed his thigh. “Thank you. I’m proud of you.”

Ryker merely grunted in response.

Taglist: @alexkolax @emcscared-whumps @espresso-depresso-system @inkkswhumpandstuff @pigeonwhumps @pumpkin-spice-whump @roblingoblin285 @sacredwrath @stabby-nunchucks @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @trans-writes @whump-blog @whumpshaped @whumpycries @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question

(Ask to be added or taken off! The taglist is for the main story, along with any AUs, drabbles, etc.)

#whump #whump stuff #whump things #whump thoughts #whump scenarios #whump tropes #whumpee #caretaker #whumper #multiple caretakers #vampire whumpee #non human whumpee

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darknetneopets · 1 year

Text

New Eden profile and info 🖤

Yes I’m obsessed with my little grey idiot and keep tweaking stuff about them heheee

Eden H. Grey (He/They)

My Twisted Wonderland MC aka the Ramshackle Dorm prefect!

While he doesn’t have magic I like to headcanon there is something to Dire calling him a ‘beast tamer’ and that he can hear and feel the stuff we see in game during a character’s overblot 🖤

He's very loosely based on Chernabog from Fantasia!

They are obviously a very self indulgent oc and I project on them a lot hehee

At first glance Eden is, well, a little plain. At most he might come off a bit ‘quirky’ (read: nurodivergent) and he’s just not what you would call flashy or charismatic. He’s also queer and has only recently come to terms with being nonbinary so he’s still working on how he wants to present himself.

Mostly he's just kind of a nerd. His interests include computer games, fantasy books, and obscure discontinued toys. He likes scary movies and spooky music and prefers to dress in all black. He likes drawing, used to go ghost hunting, and if you call something a ‘dragon’ when it is CLEARLY a wyvern or worse yet a wyrm you're never going to hear the end of it.

Eden tries to be friendly and approachable and others often come to him for help and advice. He's always happy to help, even if he’s not particularly well suited for the job. Eden is a chronic people-pleaser and if you make him feel useful (or suggest he’s somehow been a burden) he’s guaranteed to give your request his absolute best (even if it means compromising his own well-being.)

He also does his best to appear calm and easygoing even when terribly overwhelmed and prefers to keep the focus off himself in social situations. If he finds himself in the spotlight for too long he ends up extremely flustered and the reaction is doubled when it comes to praise or romantic affection. The fact that NRC is full of cute guys with cool magic powers really doesn't do him any favors as a shy stumbling mess or as a bit of a pushover.

Occasionally Eden’s pleasant aura will give way to a sarcastic edge and he has an impressive knack for cutting someone perfectly down to size once they’ve agitated him (particularly when it’s delivering a hard truth the person needs to confront for their own good. Well, mostly anyway…) Also while he can be quite sensitive and a bit of a pushover he has a heightened sense of justice and will often jump into the fray in the heat of the moment if others are in danger. It’s 100% adrenaline fueled and he often thinks better of his past decisions while being hauled to the nurse’s office.

Despite being a pretty good judge of character Eden tries his hardest to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt (this unsurprisingly backfires on him frequently while at NRC) and thinks everyone has the capability to grow and change. Plus it often takes a while for him to process his feelings so sometimes he doesn't realize someone is acting shady until it’s far too late.

While Eden might have “all the magical talent of a box of crayons” (thanks, Ace) he’s clearly a pretty good mediator and he seems to have a curious effect on ‘otherworldly’ creatures (such as ghosts and monsters like Grim) that makes them a little more agreeable than normal. There’s also the visions and prophetic dreams he regularly experiences after being exposed to others' intense emotions, magic, or overblot states… he’s just gonna keep that to himself though…

Although obviously shaken, Eden seemed to take his arrival to Twisted Wonderland in stride. He had been in a pretty dark place in his life and if he was going to have to go around feeling lost or out of place somewhere, at least things in TW were…different? Interesting? Look, there was suddenly a whole weird new world to discover where magic is real, ghosts are commonplace and dragons might exist?!

Sure, his first instinct was to want to get home but as his stay keeps extending the idea of leaving TW seems to grow a little less attractive everyday… Not that he’s ready to admit that of course, not even to himself. Still, maybe if he learned enough, stayed useful enough, got comfortable enough… Maybe he could convince himself to leave his old life behind.

——————

Assorted hcs of various seriousness:

-Eden may not be fully human or lack magic entirely- it’s possibly something tied to Bald Mountain and the demon who rules it

-Eden comes from our universe more or less but with slight differences (mostly because I think it’s funny if there was no Disney in their universe)

-Eden is goth in both his fashion and music tastes

-has been obsessed with dragons since childhood

-Not really a hc but I have an AU idea where Eden is the dorm leader for an 8th dorm based on Chernabog :3 I’ll probably finish art of it at some point~

Character Relationship Hcs:

(I edit/update these as I play more of the game!)

Grim:

In full denial about how much he likes Eden even though they’re the first person he would run to for literally anything. They’re a particularly weird and funny human but they have a kinda nice vibe that puts Grim at ease. Not that It's gonna fully stop him from being a nuisance but at least he doesn’t set things on fire QUITE so frequently! Besides if Eden hadn't vouched for Grim to Crowley he wouldn’t have gotten into NRC at all!

As frustrating as the little monster can be, Eden can’t stay mad at Grim. Mostly because, well… Kitty cat!!! Grim is like some sort of funny little real life Pokémon and Eden can’t help but be charmed by him.

Riddle:

He often tolerates Eden’s missteps seeing as they’re new to literally everything in TW. He also appreciates how kind and supportive they are towards him even after his past behavior. Eden is just so?? Patient?? They rarely get angry even when Ace and Grim cause them all manor of grief. Sure, sometimes they’re a little too eager to work around rules rather than upholding them but where it counts Eden always seems willing to listen to Riddle.

Eden honestly really likes Riddle and would absolutely consider him a friend. After Riddle’s overblot Eden became quite protective of him, though they make sure Riddle doesn’t get wise to it! Riddle is a housewarden after all! He doesn’t need any help (he does of course but Eden tries to spare his ego.) They’re also extremely grateful for how welcoming he is, allowing them and Grim access to the Heartslabyul dorm when Ramshackle starts to feel a bit cold and lonely.

Ace:

He tries so hard to be nonchalant about their friendship that it’s honestly kind of embarrassing. He loves Eden so much they feel like a sibling to him and the two are always affectionately bullying each other. He knows he was a total jerk to them when they first met and he’s made good in private but around their other friends he’s always gonna give them shit. If some rando has anything to say about Eden though Ace will absolutely start swinging.

There are times Eden could strangle Ace, but they really do appreciate his high energy. Ace just says what’s on his mind and Eden appreciates his honesty even if he’s still kind of a jerk about it. They consider him a close friend but they're a little oblivious when it comes to just how much Ace really cares.

Deuce:

How could he not like Eden? They’re so genuinely supportive of him! Ace isn’t really a bad guy but he can be a total ass and Grim is a menace no matter how cute you think he is- Yet Eden rarely ever loses their cool when the two cause trouble for them. Deuce appreciates their attempts to de-escalate fights between students and tries to emulate that energy as he works on mending his own delinquent ways. Still he would be right there with Ace ready to brawl with anyone who thinks they can pick on Eden! Look, that's a special exception fight! Even honor students should be defending their friends, right?!

Deuce absolutely delights Eden. They get so tickled over the fact that such a tough seeming guy would get so stressed over making his mom proud or how the hell eggs work. They wish nothing but the best for him and if they can help they will! Eden and Duce like to tease each other a little but they both go even harder on Ace. Eden is also fully convinced Duce has a crush on Ace and is always tempted to try and set the two up.

Cater:

Eden is #adorbs just like all his fave freshies! They always agree to a quick photo op and like all his Magicam posts! Plus they're so adorably easy to embarrass! One time Cater called an outing they had planned a ‘date’ and Eden started stumbling over their words and turning pink! He also thinks they're really pretty despite them refusing to post pics of themself. He keeps trying to talk them into doing a lil photo shoot with Ramshackle dorm as the backdrop so he can post some serious #spooky realness! The only problem he has with Eden is that he’s scared just how much they see through him. They always read him so well and sometimes a little too deeply for Cater’s comfort…

Honestly, they find Cater kind of intimidating. He’s super extroverted, animated and very cool but he can be kind of /a lot/. However in the right doses, Eden seriously enjoys hanging out with Cater. They appreciate his willingness to come to a classmate's rescue in a pinch and they believe that under all that shallow social media talk is a solidly good guy. They actually worry about him a lot and will always try to make an effort to reach out although so far they’ve had little luck getting past his defenses.

Trey:

Look, anyone willing to help keep Ace and Deuce out of major trouble is okay in Trey’s book! He’s secretly still a little wounded from how harshly Eden set him straight about enabling Riddle and how it contributed to the whole overblot catastrophe (he knows Eden meant it with love but man it was brutal!) It’s clear to Trey that Eden cares about his well-being just as much as Riddle’s and their other Heartslabyul friends. Trey realizes that they both seem to find it worlds easier to look after others than take care of themselves so he does his best to return all of Eden’s kindness on the sly, usually in the form of food as they never seem to eat as often as they should (a mix of absentmindedness and being broke most of the time.)

Eden kinda always wanted a big brother and Trey fits the bill quite well. They often catch themself being surprisingly open with Trey and the two have had some pretty deep chats. They also like pestering him to show them how to bake and they never miss a chance to swing by the Heartslabyul kitchen when Trey’s there (plus he always makes them awesome snacks?? He's so nice!!) They admittedly get a bit frustrated with how distant Trey can be and much like with Cater Eden is convinced there’s far more under the surface than he lets on.

Leona:

Genuinely wants to hate Eden because wherever they go there's bound to be some awful racket following them and it’s infringing on Leona’s damn beauty sleep. However the sheer determination the magic-poor herbivore exhibits in the face of all manner of nonsense on campus has earned Eden a few points in Leona’s book. Still they’re /pity points/ okay? He doesn’t think of Eden as a friend or anything and he certainly doesn’t like how friendly they are with him despite all the shit he pulled during the Spelldrive tournament…

Big Kitty Man!!! Eden is perpetually fascinated with the beast men students on campus but especially Leona! The fact that there’s a guy at NRC with cat (lion) ears and he won’t even let Eden scratch them a little is practically torture. Jokes aside, Eden finds Leona a bit frustrating as they’re convinced he’s actually a really good person yet Leona seems absolutely bent on trying to prove them wrong. They consider him a friend (despite the lion's vocal protests) and they even sometimes take advantage of knowing Leona’s nap hideaways to go sit with him and hang out for a little while he’s half asleep (then book it the moment Leona gets wise!)

Jack:

All of his attempts at trying to ‘play it cool’ were no match for Eden. They’re just so honest and positive that they earned friend status with Jack in no time flat. Plus they always cheer him on in sporting events despite having little to no clue what’s going on most of the time. Their flimsy build and lack of coordination concern Jack and he’s always trying to get them to work out with him (plus they're really nice to talk to so can you blame him for wanting some one on one time? Don’t you judge him…) He would absolutely be right there with Ace and Deuce to defend Eden if push came to shove.

Jack is such a good, good wolf boy of course Eden thinks the world of him! In the sea of bullies and slime balls at NRC it was a serious relief meeting someone as honest and hardworking as Jack! His lone wolf act when they first met him was almost embarrassingly easy to see through and it’s a big relief for them to see him with friends now. They have a love/hate relationship with the trips to the gym (being sweaty is a grade A bad sensory experience) but are they gonna say no to those wolf puppy eyes? Nope no chance (they WILL try to hide though.)

Ruggie:

Look, a couple of broke errand runners like him and Eden gotta look out for each other, alright? He’s not going to go out of his way to help the guy all the time but he’s not about to try and screw them over either. If Eden was ever reallyyy in a pinch Ruggie would probably try and lend a hand, mostly because he figures they would try and do the same for him. He keeps cool about it, but it honestly shocks him how giving and considerate Eden is. Sometimes he thinks about trying to coach them to be a little bit more focused on their own wellbeing but it kinda feels like it would be spoiling a good thing.

Ruggie kinda keeps Eden on their toes. Like he’s alright where it counts but he does come off as a bit of a scoundrel sometimes. Not that they mind, it’s part of what makes him fun to be around. They find his devious snicker infectious and find his survival kills beyond impressive. They try to be helpful to him even if Ruggie seems a bit resistant to it- to be honest they just like the look on his face when they insist he doesn't owe them anything for their aid.

Azul:

How could such an opportunistic businessman like Azul not like such an absolute pushover- er- considerate individual! Plus Eden is always willing to at least hear out Azul’s current scam, sorry, venture, and even if they don’t buy in they offer (admittedly bad) advice. They always say things like ‘I just like hanging out and talking to you, Azul’ but certainly they’ve actually just been waiting on the right deal to make with him, right? If he ever seems to be angling extra hard to get Eden into another contract or something it’s because they’re an easy mark okay? It’s not like he just really wants them to think he’s cool and smart! It’s also not like he’s trying to save face after the whole Monstro Lounge expansion deal went horribly awry! Stop it with the sympathetic looks, Mr. Grey, I am trying to scam you!!

Eden gets quite exasperated with Azul’s slimy antics but they try really hard to be a friend after all the rough stuff Azul has been through. Honestly they also feel kinda bad about doing him dirty and getting all of his contracts destroyed, even if it was for the better. They always encourage him to better himself in healthier ways to pretty mixed results and they do their best to be patient with the guy (even when he regularly takes advantage of their kindness.) Eden admittedly also finds it amusing the lengths Azul goes to rope them into owing him things they would have done anyway (I would have done you a favor just because, man. Can you just ask next time?) Plus sometimes Azul lets them work shifts at the lounge so they can buy craft supplies so that’s a win.

Jade:

Jade thinks Eden is very…interesting. It was pretty clear to him early on that despite the way Eden insists on assuming the best of others, they are also very perceptive at reading a person’s deeper feelings. So he tends to keep a sizable distance so they can’t get too good of a read on him, unfortunately it’s also become something of a game to him. Now and then he likes to chat with them when they show up at the Monstro lounge to work or for a boba fix and see how mysterious he can keep himself. Besides, it's fun to speak to someone who shows such genuine interest in his species and his mountain based hobbies. (Autism to Autism communication)

Eden tries their best not to show just how much Jade intimidates them. Like the whole creepy eel man thing is fun- they were honestly so stunned to meet a real life merman that the first dozen times they spoke to him they made an absolute fool of themself. Still there’s something behind that smile they just can’t place…like he’s playing some bizarre one sided high stakes game with them. It’s way more unsettling than whatever Azul or Floyd have going on. Still they do their best to always say hi to him and ask about his cool terrarium projects…also secretly really curious about what makes the guy tick.

Floyd:

Little grey Shrimpy!! They’re so funny when they give him a hug and then they try to wiggle out of his arms when he won’t stop squeezing! Sometimes if he teases them enough they even turn into a bright pink shrimpy! Eden is fun to talk to because they never seem to mind Floyd’s sudden shift in interest and will just roll with whatever new topic he’s onto (ADHD to ADHD communication) Floyd is absolutely on Team Beat Down™️ if anyone else tries to pick on HIS Shrimpy (plus he just wants an excuse to fight people…)

He might not be as scary as Jade but Floyd has his moments and they always catch Eden by surprise. Fortunately they don’t seem to last long and even the worst of his squeezes have ended before they lost consciousness or anything. They had considered just not hugging him anymore but Floyd is their friend and he seemed pretty disappointed when they tried to skip out on a hug. So now they’ve just decided to just take their chances because hey, free pressure therapy! Something about Floyd’s smile and happy voice just appeals to Eden (to the confusion of most of their classmates) and they honestly like hanging out with him.

Kalim:

Kalim super duper appreciates having someone else around who just wants everyone to get along! He had practically made the decision on sight that he and Eden were going to be besties and Eden just rolled with it. He was extra mindful of them after Jamil’s overblot, feeling partly responsible for the whole debacle. Some people might be salty over how brutally honest Eden gets in the heat of the moment (Trey) but Kalim happily insists that they were a much needed wakeup call while facing Jamil’s overblot despite everyone else’s reaction. He particularly likes that Eden likes hugs and always accepts his invitations to things if they have time.

Eden is far from immune to Kalim’s boundless energy and literal sunshine personality even if they do find him a bit overwhelming at times. They often find themself bouncing between “It's okay, Kalim means well!” and “Oh man am I glad I’m not Jamil!” Still it’s quite nice to bask in Kalim’s constant positive energy even with his occasional out of touch rich person moments.

Jamil:

Despite being someone who is very mindful of how he presents himself Jamil has a hard time gauging how well he has fooled Eden. Even after his overblot he’s unsure of his standing with the other. They were always too kind for their own good but after everything he put them through they still go out of their way on occasion to help him? He has no clue what to make of it and has chosen to just steer clear of them, something made difficult when they keep making a point to talk to him… he does kind of enjoy the weird little interactions they have in a way, especially because they don’t tend to ask things of him.

Eden has absolutely edited the epic handshake meme to be about Jamil, Ruggie, and them. Looking after their respective problem-people has absolutely become an unspoken bond of comradery, mostly manifesting as knowing looks and slow nods. They admittedly think Jamil is kind of a jerk, but they also feel like he’s kind of earned the right to be. Even if they’re not close, Eden worries about Jamil and he’s oddly enough the one they came closest to telling about their visions during his overblot.

Vil:

Waaay more tolerant of the drab little prefect than he really should be (In Vil measurements at least) because even if they’re one of the least graceful potatoes he’s ever seen, they never fail to compliment him when the two cross paths (like just competing his makeup or hair out of nowhere? Without even a hint of irony or an ulterior motive of any kind??) He has developed a habit of scolding Eden for wearing their blazer off their shoulders or not taking better care of their skin and hair. “You’re never going to be on the level of a /Pomefiore/ student but at the very least try and show a little decorum for the school’s sake! My word is this DUST all over you? Ughh you’re going to bring the very property value of the school down like this!!”

Vil is way too fucking pretty, like it gives Eden pangs of anxiety and serious gender envy. They get so nervous when he approaches them that they panic and stutter out some silly compliments every time. They would love to ask him for makeup tips or talk about fashion but they’re way too intimidated. At first they thought they had hit the jackpot when Vil started aggressively rearranging them on sight and suggesting products for them to use (all of which are WAY too expensive upon researching) but as it’s gone on they can’t seem to figure out whether it’s actually intended to be helpful or if it’s some sort of weird new advanced form of bullying…

Epel:

Eden is refreshingly regular in Epel’s opinion and is a welcome break from the freaks in his own dorm. If he had his druthers he would probably be tempted to transfer to Ramshackle if Savanaclaw was off the table. It would be a breath of fresh air having someone like Eden to answer to after dealing with Vil’s tyranny. He catches himself feeling a little giddy when he gets the chance to hang out with Eden and their first year friends, it’s just nice to act a bit more like himself without fear of judgment.

Epel is SO CUTE AAAA! Not that Eden would ever say that to his face because they know it would embarrass him, but still! Cutie!! They always make a point of cheering him on when he’s excited or proud about something while making a point not to just pick him up and squeeze him no matter how badly they want to.

Rook:

Ah yes the lovely Mx nuage d'orage is a most curious little thing indeed! While they are a bit plain, Rook of all people can of course admire their subtle beauty and is convinced that with a bit of work they could be an ‘ethereal vision of genderfluid beauty!’ Certainly a little makeover by the magnificent Vil Schoenheit would work wonders towards this goal if Eden would only accept Rook’s invitation to stop by the Pomefiore dorm for a visit and sit still for a few- oh? Where are you off to my little storm cloud?? I will gladly give chase but rest assured I most certainly WILL catch you!! :)

Rook is a freak. Grade A, high quality weirdo. And that’s great! Eden loves a good old fashioned oddball to talk to but Rook is…kinda intense. Like he fits in the same category as Jade of “guys who absolutely have a plan to kill everyone they meet, should the need arise’. Also every other thing he says has the tone of someone about to declare he’s madly in love with whoever he’s talking to. Eden can’t tell if he’s putting the moves on them just to make them go red in the face like Cater and Floyd do or if that's just? How Rook talks? (Probably the latter) They do their best to keep chats with Rook light and short, skirting around his makeover invitations as they would really hate to clutter Vil’s certainly already packed schedule! Still it seems like that particular anxiety nightmare becomes more of an inevitability every time it’s brought up, Rook doesn’t really seem like he’s going to take ‘no thank you’ as a valid answer…

Idia:

Idia claims he just ‘doesn’t get’ Eden, but honestly he’s a little envious that they manage themself so well in pvp mode with the school's biggest extroverts. Like Eden seems cool or whatever but it’s kinda cringe how nice they still are to everyone even after all the shit some of those guys have put them through. It is pretty cool the way they always seem ready to let him infodump tho and never shame him for some of his ‘eccentricities’ the way the other Housewardens do….Okay, maybe if Eden asks about that new game he’s playing one more time he miiight break down and teach them how to play- he’s gonna be short a healer for the upcoming raid next month anyway… (Autism to Autism communication part 2)

Eden likes Idia!! Sure he’s fucking awkward but so are they!! They would actually really like to get to know him better (they seem to share some of the same interests) but Idia makes it pretty difficult. Eden sort of just keeps trying to get him to come around and open up a bit.

Ortho:

Eden is so cool!! When Ortho first met them they were SUPER NICE!! And they asked a lot of questions about him and thought that all of his brother’s handiwork was amazing!! And they’re the first person he’s ever met that called themself nonbinary so Ortho looked up a bunch of stuff about gender identity and then rushed to explain it to everyone so they knew all of Eden’s pronouns and stuff!! Seriously Eden is so awesome they always have time to talk to him and even Idia thinks they’re kinda cool so they should definitely be friends with Idia and maybe rub off on him a little bit!

Eden was blown away by Ortho on sight and thinks he’s absolutely adorable! Normally such an energetic kid would overwhelm them but Ortho was quick to learn when he needed to dial things back a bit for Eden’s comfort like he does for his brother. Seriously, Eden’s mood picks up the moment he sees Ortho, that kid rocks!

Malleus:

It’s easy to imagine that the great Malleus Draconia wouldn’t have looked twice at someone like Eden, but after stumbling upon them occupying his favorite (previously) abandoned building on campus he found himself instantly fascinated with them. First of all they had no idea who he was, second they didn’t seem to find him particularly frightening in the least. Eden seemed so warm, so happy to meet him, coming close and addressing him in the sort of informal tone they would have used for any other student at NRC. It was all so charmingly novel, down to the silly little name they devised for him when he chose to withhold his real name.

Malleus has come to cherish any time spent with Eden and he seeks them out any chance he can get (away from other students at least). Eden seems to take a real interest in him, they even seem to enjoy joining him on his tours of the school's various architectural features (it’s so fun having someone new to share these interests with!) and they’ll even sit right next to him and talk the evening away. Sometimes Eden will even touch Malleus on the arm or pat his shoulder with ease and never recoils from Malleus’s own touches (it’s just nice that they aren’t afraid of him is all! It’s not like he thinks about touching them constantly...) Even Malleus’s features that a human might find frightening seem to charm his sweet child of man! Eden really likes his horns and thinks his eyes are pretty (your eyes are pretty too, child of man… what? I’m just being friendly!) and even his teeth seem to fascinate them. The way Eden makes him feel is just so curious, as if there’s something fluttering about in his stomach. Is this just what friendship feels like? (The gay thoughts can’t get you if don’t acknowledge them, right?) Perhaps he should ask Lilia about that… Regardless, he’s become quite attached to Eden and very protective of them. If anything or anyone threatened them or his relationship with them, the culprit would very quickly regret it!

For the first month or so of their friendship with Hornton Eden was almost convinced they were dreaming him up. Some gorgeous eccentric fairy man appearing from thin air outside the dorm with dragon horns and a smoky voice talking like he just stumbled out of a fantasy novel? Riiight. Plus they never seemed to spot him in the halls or during the school day! Yeah, they were pretty sure he was just their subconscious having some fun with their new surroundings. But Hornton is very real and so…strange! Not bad or mean of course, actually he seems really sweet. He’s a bit awkward but lovably so, and so gentle; he almost acts as if Eden is made of tissue paper or something. More than anything Hornton seems to fret about scaring them, which is beyond silly. Sure he's a tad spooky, but Eden loves spooky things! They do worry about Hornton a bit though, he seems a bit lonely and they fear they might be his only friend so they do their best to invite him to things when they can (he always looks so surprised and happy, even though he seldom accepts) and when that fails they just make a point to spend more time alone with him at the very least (what constitutes something as a date rather that just a hangout, by the way? No reason, just curious~)

Silver:

If you asked Silver about Eden he would say they hadn’t formally met beyond exchangeing a few words here and there but that he found them quite a pleasant presence to have on campus. Most of what he knows of them is through Malleus, Lillia, and Sebek.

At first Eden found Silver super serious and kind of intimidating until they realized he was actually a perfect gentleman who was just kinda sleepy. They often spot him asleep around campus and will check to make sure he’s somewhere safe or sit with him a while to make sure he’s okay. They’ve formed a pretty warm regard for him because of this, even if Silver has no idea.

Sebek:

Not the least bit interested in Eden, perhaps even a little bit annoyed that some no-magic mortal is allowed to roam about the same prestigious campus that his lord, The Great Malleus Draconia, gracees with his presence! Sure they’re patient and thoughtful and go out of their way to be friendly but that doesn't mean he has to like them! He doesn't like them okay!!

Eden’s main opinion of Sebek is that he needs to make better use of his inside voice. His constant loud bursts set Eden a bit on edge but they do their best to keep their irritation to themself since he doesn't seem to do it on purpose. The constant fuss about this high and mighty ‘Malleus’ guy is admittedly a particularly grating feature of Sebek for Eden- like who would want people to talk about them like that? In any case they’re glad to have steered clear of the prince so far. Still they nod along and ask questions in autistic solidarity when Sebek gets going.

Lilia:

Oooh Eden is a curious little thing, that’s for sure. Lillia has had quite a few chances to chat with Eden as they often get roped into helping the pop music club with things. Plus he’s often offered his ear to Malleus’s love sick whining er- passionate retellings of his visits with them. Malleus often says there’s something special about them, and Lillia agrees although for different reasons. Eden is from another world and while they don’t seem to have magic in the traditional sense they do have certain curious features that Lillia can’t quite place. So far he’s just shrugged it off and watches them curiously, choosing to ask them strange questions on occasion and resisting the urge to wingman on Malleus’s behalf (although boy is it tempting!)

Eden initially responded to Lilia the way they did to Vil- he’s way too pretty and an object of intense gender envy. However Lillia quickly proved to be way more approachable and friendly, even if he’s odd. Eden likes odd and chalks up most of the fae man’s quirks to cultural differences. They’re still a bit intimidated, but their fascination with the fae usually wins out over their anxieties.

Crowley:

Being the very kind and generous man that he is, Dire’s heart was positively breaking at the sight of poor Eden, lost and alone in a strange new world! That’s why he so very kindly allowed them a place at the school, making special concessions for their ‘unique’ learning and housing situations! Certainly no one could blame him for accepting their gracious offers to help him out here and there- it’s a good thing for Eden to feel useful, right? Honestly under all his slimy antics Dire is genuinely concerned with Eden’s well-being. He checks on them often without their knowledge and really does try to keep them in mind. It’s not a lot but enough information has slipped for him to understand that Eden didn’t exactly grow up in a good situation and while he’s really bad at it not exactly suited for it he wants to be a sort of dad figure to them if he can. He knows he often takes advantage of Eden’s willingness to earn their keep but he does actually feel conflicted about, it at least…

Eden has a pretty big blind spot when it comes to Dire and if he ever really seriously screwed them over it would be particularly painful. Sure he’s a little shady but hey, most people at NRC are. They really don’t begrudge him for all the nonsense he saddles them with (they like to give him shit but that’s because it’s fun), after all he didn’t have to take them in like he did. As much as anyone at NRC has taken advantage of Eden’s kindness, Dire could probably get away with even more. He’s a bit of an ass but he was ‘kind’ to them during a time they hadn’t seen much kindness. They had been at their most helpless and scared there in his office, near tears as they nervously explained that Eden wasn’t their legal name back in their world to Dire who had asked for spelling on the paperwork. All it took was for Dire to just smile and pat their shoulder, assuring them it didn’t matter. As far as he was concerned they could be whoever they liked and insisted there was no need for a deadname on documents he was starting from scratch.

Crewel:

The new no-magic puppy had seemed like a guaranteed headache at first. Eden was clumsy, awkward, and trouble seemed to be magnetically drawn to them. However they were (almost frustratingly at fIrst) dedicated to learning how to make potions. Their enthusiasm almost makes up for their lack of magic.

Eden was absolutely terrified of Divius at first, and they still kind of are, but they’ve come to really admire him and they have the most embarrassing desire to impress him. Potions is something they actually can participate in and they’re not about to squander anything Divius teaches them.

Trein:

As far as Mozus is concerned Eden is no different from any other student in his class. They don’t need magic to learn magic history so he was firm from day one on them receiving no special treatment. To his surprise (maybe even delight?) Eden was perfectly fine with his assertions and has been more or less a model student, save for occasionally wrangling their rowdy friends.

Eden found they quite like Trein. Sure he’s strict and dry but he’s not at all mean or unfair. Plus he brings a cat to class? You expect Eden to not look forward to a class that has a kitty?? Besides magic history beats their world’s history no contest! It’s like listening to someone earnestly lecture about Dungeons and Dragons lore for two hours.

Vargas:

Vargas is fully convinced Eden is capable of magic if they just listened to him and shaped up their noodly little body!

Eden was not built for intense physical exertion and Vargas’s class regularly reminds them of that fact. They’re also still pretty salty about how the coach conducted the survival camping trip…

Sam:

Eden is a good little imp, a bit shy but nothing a little friendly banter can’t fix! Sam is actually one of the most openly sympathetic faculty members when it comes to Eden’s situation and he’s often working to find products and snacks analogous to one’s Eden misses from their home world.

Sam has seen some of Eden’s darkest moments (having an out of body experience in front to the soft drinks at 2am) and their strangest quirks (buying the same three unhealthy instant meals for weeks on end because it was the only thing their senses could tolerate) and he does so without judgment and only a little concern, so he’s a winner in Eden’s book.

#the ramshackle blorbo strikes again #I’m so attached to this fucker it’s embarrassing #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland mc #twisted wonderland prefect #twist #twist oc #twist mc #twist prefect #twist yuusona #my art #my ocs #my twist art #my twist ocs #twist hell

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animehouse-moe · 1 year

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Chainsaw Man Chapter 129: Save Me, Chainsaw Man

This chapter marks the start of a game of cat and mouse. Or hybrid and unnamed devil? Either way, Denji and Asa very quickly flee the scene while the unnamed devil is in hot pursuit. Not a lot going on, but definitely some cool pieces for sure.

⚠️Warning: Spoilers Ahead⚠️

So this is definitely a short but sweet chapter, that really only has this moment in terms of "real" story. It's a really great moment that sees Asa find her confidence in the moment in a really fun and roundabout way. If all the scum of the Earth is permitted to live, why can't Asa be alive? I really truly love Fujimoto's logic and how he's written his characters to approach this stuff. It borders on insanity but it's the best way to really breach the subject. If that person that you think is disgusting and a terrible person is alive, why shouldn't you be alive too?

Past that, it's a bunch of the usual shenanigans with Denji, but Asa finds it in her to play into them. Telling Denji to steal a motorcycle to get away, for instance. I wouldn't quite say it's a change in character, but that Asa's becoming more and more capable of letting loose when the situation calls for it. That, and well, Denji's logic for who he'd steal a bike from is just plain funny.

And to top it all off, we get a really kickass motorcycle by the end of it. The potential for Asa creating weapons for Denji to use is incredibly high, so I'm glad to see it put on display already. Getting me super hopeful that we'll see a lot more of this stuff during their attempt to flee from that unnamed devil.

So at the end of it, a very straightforward chapter that leans on a few pieces during its short run to keep readers engaged in it. Far from a bad chapter, but I wouldn't say it's "good" either. "Cool" might be the right word for it. I mean, it's a Chainsaw Motorcycle, could it get any cooler in regards to Chainsaw Man?

#chainsaw man #csm pt 2 #chainsaw man manga #csm manga #chainsaw man part two #chainsaw man part 2 spoilers #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #csm denji #asa mitaka #falling devil #manga recommendation #manga review #anime and manga #manga

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madsfrank · 8 months

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The DLCs of New Vegas and Their Philosophical Importance in the Order of Release Date

Looks like September has brought about a fervor for New Vegas and this will be one of my entries to add to the pile. Some of this information is loosely based upon the actual game and in areas where interpretation is left up the the player, I did take some liberties. Overall this is just for entertainment and shouldn’t be used as definitive evidence for what exactly happened between these DLCs.

In New Vegas, the DLCs become the defining points of the game. They are designed to teach a lesson to the courier and hence the player about “what to do now?” In the post-apocalyptic wasteland. These DLCs are packed with philosophical takes and messages that vary depending on the type of person the player is or the future they have chosen for New Vegas. Here, I dive into the philosophical identities of the main factions and important individuals through the DLCs that connect back to ideology and plot. By no means is this a perfect explanation. I keep some parts vague that are supposed to be left up to the courier’s actions. However, this is to be used as a mental guide for the driving factors behind characters and the major messages one is to learn.

P.S. on each dlc section the main character’s past will be in chronological order as best as it happened to my knowledge as not everything has exact dates.

Dead Money:

The worst dlc in terms of gameplay but also has the most long standing message to relay back to real life and the main game.

Dead money follows the story of father Elijah. And Veronica and Christine. Elijah was a terrible elder in the BOS and with such left during a loss to the NCR in 2276 at Operation: Sunburst during the Brotherhood war (his next in line McNamara took over and they were weakened by this point so they went underground). Elijah then became obsessed with finding ways to destroy the NCR and in the process took his pupil (Veronica) away from Christine and when Christine (on a mission to kill him BOS orders) tracked him down finding tech in the Big MT (locked her away where she suffered brain damage from the testing the labs did).

He stumbles upon the Big MT during his travels in which he experiments on the Yangtze prisoners with explosive collars and beefing up his plan and defenses before going to the Sierra Madre in which he learned the location from Ulysses. He returns to the Think Tank after being captured upon his first entry (and escaping) and damages the robots to take control of the train network in order to escape. Which he does.

HERE IS WHERE THE STORY LINE CONJOINS

during this time another force Ulysses (spoken about more in later DLCs.) who was traveling to hunt the courier and find the past secrets of America and re awaken the old world to rise as a new home, a new power, saw this conflict. He points Elijah to the Sierra Madre and it’s hidden treasures which he hopes will kill the former Paladin and saved Christine to learn about the BoS which he realized was weak.

He then spoke to the Think Tank and challenged them to remember America. When they remembered a glimpse of the old world and what they fought for, they gave Ulysses instructions to return to the divide as “the voice of the old world” was left in the untouched missiles that had the power to reshape America through destruction much like the courier had done to his divide when they passed a package through the region containing middle codes that activated some missiles and mostly destroyed the place he called home and the place the though could become more powerful that the bull or bear.

Dead money focus on the ideas of letting go. Characters who can’t let go of goals or the past. Take Dean domino, still wanting to hold onto Vera Keys who was dead to her own disease and hand at the depression of being captured in the casino by the operator of the casino who was obsessed with her. He also is still determined to find what Sinclair kept hidden away in the vaults. Long after it would have mattered with the end of the world. Christine is obsessed with killing Elijah even though his lost ideals will lead to his death by the courier anyways. Much like how the operator of the casino was obsessed with keeping Vera locked away.

The courier has to also let go of the treasure they had found. The gold. They must let go of it and this is the most straightforward message. Caesar wants an idealistic society but when when he gets cancer, he can’t let go. House wants a idealistic old world society that he can never let go of (hence the strip)

It answers the question of “this is what I think is best for the post apocalyptic wasteland” and how most of it is just people clinging into a past victory or experience. (History would be Caesar and Joshua teaching the Blackfoot and beginning to take tribes over and becoming power blind.)

The NCR clinging to the constitutional law and pushing people who are just surviving in the wastes out via taxes and old world political ideals. This is also under the same message.

And of course, Elijah, he’ll best on power and controlling the Mohave to lead the brotherhood to victory, ultimately nearly destroyed his own people and went mad for the “power” of the Sierra Madre. Thinking he can make food from the vending machines and what not to build a new society where he can take over the Mohave (he begins to forget his brotherhood ideals.)

The gold in the vault is not that useful but it proves that this endless search for one’s own power was unfruitful. That even if they had seen the “gold” they would not be able to bring it back. AKA put there ideals in place.

Honest hearts

The story of the Malpais legate.

A new cannanite who joined the followers to spread his Mormon religion. Joined by Calhoun and Sallow. They were then held for ransom by the Blackfoot tribe along their pilgrimage and Edward Sallow trained them to use weapons because he was super smart and read books as a linguist and taught them to fight like Romans. Sallow become the leader of the Blackfoot tribe with Joshua as his first Legate. He takes the name Caesar and becomes mad with power as he makes his newly formed legion stronger soon after. It is during this time that he begins to take over the 87 tribes within a rough timeframe of like 25-30 years. He then spread to overtaking the NCR who had found the Hoover dam and wanted it for power as they spread throughout the region to establish rule. With five reports on killing Graham, the legion still held strong.

During this battle, the NCR managed to lure the legions more experienced legates and such into Boulder City where they were detonated. These legion individuals were under Joshua’s command.

Caesar (sallow) did not tolerate the loss of Hoover dam, he threw Joshua over the Grand Canyon covered in kerosene after the first battle.

But he lived. He states he found his faith again and lost the pride that Caesar had blinded him with. Even though his religion moves him to forgive Caesar, he still would easily strike down his followers while in new Canaan (his home)

That is until Caesar sends fourth Ulysses. For he brings the White Legs that he trained to destroy his home. In which Daniel (a missionary) and a few survivors including Graham would move to Zion and assume power amongst the sorrows and dead horses.

Graham’s story is one of redemption and blind revenge. He doesn’t know what the right course of action is anymore. He just has blind rage towards the Legion and now Caesar again. His story is heavily impacted by what happens to the leader of the White Legs when they are sent to hunt down Graham and the tribes in Zion.

Walking Cloud’s story is much of the same with Daniel trying to curb her rage by hiding her husband’s death. It’s like a microcosm of what’s to come with Joshua.

He has to grow as a person and realize that blind revenge will only sabotage his faith and morals and make him no better than the idealism that surround Caesar and the others like Elijah and House. His whole story is dependent on the helping of others and learning to assist rather than to take over or have full forgiveness to bad people or have blind rage. He must find a centre. A balance.

Old world blues

The story of a society stuck on loop.

The scientists in the big empty cannot accept the new world. They keep making new inventions for the old world which are fruitless, futile, and harmful to others. It is through this that following an ideology without change or recognition becomes dangerous. When Ulysses poses the question of them knowing their own history, it causes them, forces them, to remember their own past and what they have done. It ties together the main factions as well. Are all the main factions doing is forming a idealogical society that doesn’t reflect the views of the new world? Are they all just stuck on loop to try to create their own perfect vision which in the end will fail?

Each scientist also struggles to connect themselves to their more human form and loose empathy and compassion. They lose their humanity when the courier and Ulysses find them. Going as far as to trap a human away for experiments that will go nowhere (Christine).

In the end, these scientists have to find their humanity and use their tech to help the wastes instead of hiding it away (like the BOS to a extent) they have lost the connection to what it means to be a scientist and to help others as they shut themselves away and refused to acknowledge the new world as well, much like mr. House.

Mobius breaks free of the constant science that the Think Tank is up to and attempts to stop them from possibly hurting the wasteland. He also destroyed the data to the memories of the old world for the other scientists in a attempt to stop them from destroying the world with their science again.

In the process he ends up shutting the Big MT off from the rest of the wasteland with a barrier and shuts himself off with robo-scorpions he built. He left the Think Tank and made sure that the scientists would be too scared to leave by sending false messages to them and making them fear creating new technologies.

But when Elijah, Ulysses and others arrive, the Think Tank tries to push further to escape Mobius’s plans. By this point his own ideals had begun to deteriorate due to his use of chems and he had begun to go mad with the robo-scorpions and looses his own sight of fighting for the wasteland.

The courier then must confront him upon their own arrival and help the Think Tank and Mobius understand the world outside the Big MT and to stop loosing sight of the science that could save the wasteland and to stop living in a loop of the past from trauma.

Lonesome road

In my opinion the most confusing dlc

Ulysses’ tribe is destroyed by Caesar and his home with the twisted hairs (Dry Wells) was taken over by Vulpes who betrayed Ulysses by killing his group instead of working with them and Ulysses was forced under the Legion flag. He served as a nondescript courier for the Legion during this time as well and became a very powerful spy asset to Caesar.

It is also at this point we learn that it was him who discovered the Hoover Dam. Causing Caesar to go mad with the idea of it.

When Caesar became obsessed with the dam, Ulysses could not stop him. Even though he knew it would kill Caesar. Ulysses had seen how far Caesar would go to take the dam when he witnessed the burning of the Malpais legate.

Upon exploring the wastes for Caesar, he found the Divide and due to the destruction of his own tribe, saw it as a home for himself. He thought it could be better than the legion or the NCR. He stayed for a short time and wanted to use it to out think the Legion. However it was then taken over by the NCR while he worked for the Legion and while he was not there to protect The Divide (nor could he save it single-handedly) the Legion then sent supplies to take The Divide over. Placing legion soldiers and NCR soldiers within the town at once.

This is when the courier unknowingly brings a NCR package from Navarro containing launch codes for the missiles that lay under The Divide. This would lead to the bomb going off after the courier left and destroying The Divide and NCR and legion within (making them into the marked men. Filled with hatred with their factions for abandoning them).

Ulysses nearly died but was saved by medical Eyebots. Who were activated with the bombs. They believe he was a pre war soldier with the American flag on his back.

He blamed the courier and returned to the only man who accepted him, Caesar, in 2277 after the loss at Hoover Dam. This is where he would witness the burning of Joshua. (He was not actively in the Legion while the first battle happened).

When Caesar learned that Graham had lived, he sent Ulysses out after him along with the White Legs. This would be his last mission for Caesar as he left soon after to better himself and reawaken the history of America. During this time he took a temporary break as a big Horner farmer and a courier.

Later on, he found about about the old world technology in the big empty and travelled there. He followed the irregular weather patterns from The Divide to the Big MT in which he used the geographical maps there at the weather station to map out where he would build his base back at the divide later on where he wanted to face the courier.

This is where he meets Elijah and Christine.

During his time as a courier, so a bit in the past before meeting Christine and Elijah, when he was retired as a bighorn farmer, he was hired to carry the platinum chip. But when he saw the couriers name on the list he told Nash that they should carry it instead as he wanted to see the courier dead on this important mission for destroying The Divide. He thought the wasteland would kill the courier instead of him having to himself.

When the courier survived Benny and the Khans. He vowed to bring the courier to him in The Divide.

When the courier is in The Divide, they are forced to walk the lonesome road and go through the travels and horrors that Ulysses had to go through when The Divide was destroyed and in the end, the courier is faced with Ulysses wanting to destroy the Mohave and deciding to make him see the light with the couriers faction or killing him.

Ulysses can also be forced to accept that it is these individual people that hold the new world together and that the old world and it’s pointless to murder all who wave the flag of the bear and bull. An important development in the concept of him “letting go” of the old world and his idea of a home. His idea of building up something as great as the old world once was. Ulysses is still a man. He’s still idealistic in that he wants to form his own home. One based in old world values with new world truths and while the divide seems like a decent plan for him, he soon falls victim to blind rage for the NCR and Legion. Yes, they both help to destroy his home, but in turn, he becomes just as violent as they were to him. Which removes him from this new independent plan and sends him spiraling into only removing the ideologies of the bear and Bull.

(He also makes it very clear that even a independent Vegas would fail under house and maybe even under the courier. So this part is truly left to the couriers own faction.)

This dlc is all about the importance of home. And that it may not be the place where you were born. It also touches on how to move on from a home. Moving on from idealistic ideas out in place by factions as well. Seeing the world for what it is and truly being alone.

Another important character here is the copy of ED-E who has been created by the Enclave by a doctor with good morals and who didn’t want to see his tech harmed (Whitley) and he sent this ED-E to navarro not knowing it had fallen to NCR forces. This Ed-e contained more logs on Enclave scientist Dr Whitley than the original does after the original was damaged but both contained lost information on the Enclave that Whitley had sent out to try to send to other parts of the Enclave. However the original was taken down near Primm. The copy had data downloaded from the original ED-E upon the courier entering the divide.

This is just important as it established another character desperately searching for navarro even though it has fallen. With the hollow words of its old master and a goal (much like houses, Caesars, and Elijah’s) that can never be accomplished.

Overall, idealistic societies are formed off of the opinions of the few. These societies falter as we reduce them to just a namesake. A flag. There are people within these flags, caught up within the ideals of their leaders and rulers. Even Ulysses becomes blind to his own former goals of a community of people working together without a flag. A home. Until those individual people are recognized, until they, the small groups that lie among the Mojave, the tribes and those in towns like the divide before it’s destruction, are recognized as part of the world they inhabit instead of just ideals of their masters and gods….war never changes.

#fallout #fallout series #fallout hot takes #fallout new vegas #this is a very long study into what the DLCs mean and what happened in them cause it was super confusing when I played through them #also Joshua Graham is my favorite character so I took maybe one or two liberties for him while keeping as close to cannon as he is #new vegas #Joshua Graham #Ulysses #fallout courier #father elijah

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kingedmundsroyalmurder · 9 months

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Blue Castle chapters 12 and 13

Combining these two chapters into one post, because I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday. And these two pair well together: chapter 12 is Valancy reflecting on her life and the dinner party and chapter 13 is the rest of the Stirlings doing the same. Their conclusions, of course, are wildly different.

I don’t have much to say about chapter 12 that wasn’t covered by all of you lovely folks yesterday. I think the point about Valancy never having been able to see beauty out her window until now is really insightful -- the view hasn’t changed, but Valancy has.

Mild non-explicit spoilers: Valancy’s musing about Uncle Benjamin writing her out of the will is definitely something, given what happens with the will later.

Speaking of Uncle Benjamin, we transition into chapter 13. It only just now occurred to me that Valancy is refusing to see a doctor because she’s worried that a doctor will disclose her heart condition to the rest of her family. I assumed she was just being contrary for the thrill of it, and that may be part of it, but of course she doesn’t want to see a doctor. That would ruin everything.

“Don’t worry, Mother,” said Valancy, lightly but quite respectfully. “It isn’t likely I’ll do anything very terrible. But I mean to have a little fun.” Valancy is at heart a good girl who likes being a good girl. She doesn’t want to be loose or take up smoking and swearing, or any of the other horrible things that one might imagine of a person cutting loose for the first time. She wants to get to keep her dust pile and, to pull from a different fandom entirely, to eat eggs without permission. And that, to her family, is full insanity and tantamount to death.

I should very much like to know what Dr. Marsh thinks of all of this. I didn’t have a terribly high opinion of him previously, but this chapter does shine a new light on his character. He apparently was willing to validate Cousin Gladys’ neutritis -- and I am perfectly willing to believe that she is suffering from pain of some kind, even if “neutritis” seems to have been a nebulous catch all term for “unexplained pain” -- but she doesn’t seem to be taking anything for it other than her Redfern product of choice. Redfern products don’t seem to do any harm, as far as snake oil goes, so he in essence seems to have told her, “I believe your self-reported symptoms and if you believe this product helps with your symptoms then you should continue taking it.” Which, frankly, is decent doctring.

Especially because he married in to this family. He knows all these people, even if they seem to be a distant enough branch that they’re not expected to attend family functions. Dr. Marsh appears to have taken a path of less resistance when it comes to his in-laws but, crucially, as we see in this chapter, that path does not include indulging their every whim. He hears about Valancy doing some honestly fairly unremarkable things and refuses to join the Stirling conviction that this means she should be locked up. I’m interested in the phrasing he uses when telling Uncle James that he can’t have Valancy committed (”He pointed out to irate Uncle James—who would have liked to lock Valancy up somewhere, out of hand—that Valancy had not, as yet, really done or said anything that could be construed as proof of lunacy—and without proof you cannot lock people up in this degenerate age.”) is what he actually said or if it’s Uncle James editorializing. And, if those were his words, is that what he himself believes, or does he just know Uncle James and thought this whole thing would go faster if he conceded a couple points before standing firm on the one that mattered.

#blue castle book club #blue castle chapter 12 #blue castle chapter 13

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classasurreptitiouslurker · 25 days

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Gabriel's Memory, Again

So, a while back I mentioned that I found that, with a nitpick-y approach, you could arguably say that all of the times (I make it five, but let me know if I've forgotten anything) when Jim remembers - using the term loosely here, because I'm also including his trances - something of Gabriel all operate differently. This, now, is the nitpick in question. Fair warning: there's no conclusion to be had here, since there's not enough similarities to draw one, and just the fact of the differences also isn't exactly sufficient for that, and as I mainly wrote this to lay it and my thoughts out - for clarity, recall and organisation, but also as a starting point and, so to speak, to-do list for things I want to look at still - it may be a little (or little more) rough.

First up, going by episode chronology, we've got whatever it was that drove Jim to seek out Aziraphale to begin with. From what he says, it seems to have been a combination of perceptions that led him to Aziraphale: a vague sense of doom - the "something terrible" - and an equally vague sense that this was a being who could help and shelter him - "as long as I came here [it] might not happen to me". Whether he's feeling love, or ethereal energy, or still subconsciously retaining a memory of Aziraphale's personality, or of a plan he formed while he was still Gabriel, and what exactly the "something terrible" actually was, since he can't actually remember, just that it's coming (and how did he find the bookshop anyways?), is, while interesting and a topic for the future, not making much of a difference here. Either way, whatever precisely's behind this, it's manifesting in a way that seems like a sort of sixth sense, a vague, generalised impression, strong enough to move him but not so strong as to give him any urgency, apparently emotion-based and possibly, at least partially, not actually a memory at all.

Next is when starts singing Everyday to himself in E2. He has no idea why he starts doing it - he doesn't even realise he is at first - or where it came from and it seems to have come to him later, rather than being something he knew from the start, with no particular trigger beyond a possible tenuous after K comes L -> L = love -> love = Beelzebub -> Beelzebub = Everyday connection, in which case it's still not jarring or abrupt in the way he suddenly gets snapped into his trance later in the episode. Everyday featured prominently in two of the three key Beelzebub meetings we were shown, and is a symbol of their relationship, not to mention played a fairly major role in the memory of him receiving the fly, the critical component of his escape plan, making it a personally significant piece of information. Like the instinct that made him seek out Aziraphale, it revolves around emotion; however, beyond that, it's practically entirely opposite. Whereas the former's broad, seemingly slightly random, and without the details to make sense of it, Everyday's essentially one single important detail, completely isolated and context-free, something we later learn is special to Gabriel, but which is without that additional background far too narrow in scope to explain even its presence, let alone its meaning.

In the same episode, we also get his first trance-like altered state. He 'snaps' into this state after Crowley directly questions him about "the first thing [he] remember[s]" - possibly what he meant in the last episode by "ask him properly" (and another post - really this whole paragraph is) - although snaps isn't really the right word for the way he struggles into the trance, wrestling either with his own memory or a possessing force. The process seems exhausting and painful, and he says he can't keep going, adding "not anymore" with a surprising sudden flash of insight into his former capabilities, and he appears disorientated - but aware of the situation - afterwards. His eyes go back to Supreme Archangel Gabriel purple and God's voice echoes alongside his when he speaks. The words are also God's, spoken when Gabriel was not actually present. It seems unlikely that the Bildad masquerade would have gone the way it did if he'd been spying on that scene, but there's no way to truly eliminate the possibility that he somehow overheard God, though that seems an utterly random memory to procure. It's possible God is somehow speaking through him, or perhaps Gabriel simply has access to Her words, in form of some kind of God's Messenger function, however, I've also wondered whether they both use the same words because they are both referring to the same, third, thing. Regardless of what exactly's going on here - as I said, I'd like to make a separate post for that sometime - it doesn't fit into a pattern with either of the previous occurrences, which, okay, this is a separate matter, but it doesn't seem the same as his next trance either.

Coming to said next trance: at the end of E3, Jim gets (apparently) triggered by Crowley's use of the word "tempest", which features in his own words, and accordingly, seems to have acted as a sort of key or index. Once again, there's a clear verbal cue, though of slightly different format, that snaps him into his trance, delivered, again, by Crowley. It looks smoother this time however, less of a struggle and more a fluid transition from one moment to the next. His eyes revert to Angel-Gabriel-BluePurple and while I personally don't hear anyone speaking, I'm taking other people's word that it sounds like there's a woman voice overlaid; it's certainly not God speaking again though. The words themselves, bizarrely enough considering that this is all about memory, sound very much like a prophecy. Of course it's possible that the memory element comes back in if he's either repeating a prophecy he's heard or read before (greetings to Agnes) or if it's referring to an event that's already happened (or that it's not a prophecy at all) but at first glance, we seem to be dealing with the future instead of the past, which, besides being strange, is distinctly the opposite of last time's distant biblical past. After the trance ends, with a moment's delay that almost gave the impression he was going to say more, Jim's memory appears inexplicably reverted to its E1 state, something I'd say doesn't seem to happen after the first trance. Having presumably plot relevant for as-yet-unknown reasons, clearly otherworldly moments of recollection, they would naturally be distinct from the 'regular' workings of Jim's amnesia, but the issue is that they're also different from each other.

Finally, there's his conversation with Crowley in E5, in which he describes where his memory is: "In a matchbox. No, I took it out first... and I put it in the box and I brought it here...". There's only really one piece missing here, the fly, which is the most important bit, sure, but at the same time a fairly small one. Beyond that, this is a fairly focused, specific, relevant memory of direct personal importance, decently detailed and even showing signs of putting a chronology back together, with which he is able to give a direct, on-topic answer to a question. He then follows this up with the "institutional problem" comment, which is unfortunately, unlike the matchbox-memory segment, back to being totally abstracted from context. It does relate to the topic, since it was connected to his trial, but of course, for the characters it's once again an entirely random statement. Still, this whole sequence (triggered once again by Crowley's probing) is the most precision Jim ever shows regarding Gabriel's memories, offering specific details and relevant, targeted, albeit not actually useful, answers, an on-point factualness that doesn't really align with the emotionally-driven, intuition-like flashes of his previous memories. He also says that it hurts to remember, which seems to be more the case in his first trance - he's even repeating the 'head not big enough' here - than in the two previous - and despite their differences, still more similar to this than said trance - cases of 'normal' remembering.

#good omens #s2 meta/speculation #Jim/Gabriel #memory/narration

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vonkarma2 · 1 month

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1 for gloria and 2 for rocio?

What’s the lie your character tells most often?

I think a lot of Gloria’s lies in her day to day life are around the lines of “I’ll pay you back” or something like that LOL, she’s very irresponsible with money and not above straight up lying meaning her reputation is kinda terrible. She tends to ditch people and avoid responsibility in general. If you make plans with her there’s a solid 50% chance she just won’t show up and you’ll never hear from her again. The other 50% is she shows up and you still never hear from her again

2. How loosely or strictly do they use the word “friend”?

The people in Rocio’s life are usually only interested in them professionally/politically, and the few that actually view her as a person (prior to the story theres like quite literally 2 of them) tend to be very close, so there’s not a lot of conflict over whether they’re close enough to be called their friend yk. She definitely considers them as such— even though it makes her uncomfortable to be close to people she does appreciate everything they’ve done for her. Like, they would have straight up died if not for Yiming. They put a lot of faith in the people they’re close to, maybe even too much, + though being dependent on others frustrates them they don’t tend to resent people because of that. In terms of actually using the word though. I think she’d hate implying things about her relationship with others because she doesn’t think it’s anyone’s business at all. So she’s more likely to avoid it and talk about them however is directly relevant to the situation. Like instead of “you can trust him, he’s a friend” it would be “you can trust him, he’s harmless” or whatever. Sometimes coming across as insulting because of that lol

#rocio and cirillos backstory together is actually kind of cute #like they were distant pen pals for a while not very close #but it’s like one of the first people ever to be nice to rocio since her parents. yk #and the only one who doesn’t care abt her job or whatever #not that she doesn’t want people to think of her as powerful or whatever #or as metahuman in some way #bc those are legit aspects of them as a person that do require consideration #but for variety it’s nice to have someone who seemingly views her as an equal #rather than looking up to her or fearing her or trying to use her for political gain #the two of them are NOT peers lol but it’s nice to feel as though they are #+ cirillo is probably aware of that #and it would have occurred to him relatively early on how isolated she must be #also I made gloria sound like a terrible person in her response #she has redeeming qualities umm #she gives food to stray cats some times #my ocs #rocio satapathy #gloria song #ty for asking :)

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jiminluv · 2 years

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Not to be That Kinn apologist (except I am), but look: When it comes to “punishing” Porsche by locking him away, we got an instant scene afterwards of Kinn and his father discussing how Kinn did so in order to keep up the Big Boss persona/position and make it known that Porsche’s actions as a bodyguard were not acceptable.

What was Kinn going to do — let Porsche off the hook in front of everybody, particularly the other bodyguards? In terms of strictly the Boss-Bodyguard dynamic, Porsche did do a “bad” thing by sneaking around behind his boss and his fellow guards’ back by doing his own investigating. Kinn needed to put him in his place for show, and then Kinn was going to talk to Porsche and clear the air. However, we can assume that because Vegas got there first, this doesn’t happen. We’ll see next week. But I want to point out that Porsche, before knowing it was Vegas, instantly assumed it was Kinn coming to explain/apologize/etc. Porsche seemed so happy, too. Oh, well. This show, I swear, it likes to hurt us.

Obviously, as a viewer, I support Porsche investigating Tawan because I don’t trust Tawan, and I have the outward knowledge that he’s only there to stir trouble. But, inside this fictional world, Porsche, as a bodyguard, shouldn’t have done it. He should have spoken to Kinn privately and they should have had a much needed conversation about this entire situation.

Then again, would Kinn provide any deep details to Porsche? Their relationship is still so new. A few previous honest discussions and cute dates doesn’t mean they suddenly are Perfect, Healthy, and Will Never Miscommunicate. We put too much stock in fictional characters to have a flawless relationship once they get together, and that’s just not realistic. It’s even less realistic in this KinnPorsche world.

Kinn doesn’t trust anyone. It’s his default after Tawan betrayed him. He’s grown up in this mafia world, witnessing and partaking-in himself terrible, terrible things. It’s a load of not just morally gray situations, but morally bad, period. This has shaped who Kinn is. Tawan is then the only person Pre-Porsche who Kinn gave his heart to, and he was so young when he did it (college!). Then, Tawan betrayed him, and Kinn shot him. He shot the only person he’d ever romantically opened up to, trusted, and loved. Talk about traumatic.

Now, years later, Tawan comes back with claims that his actions were because of the Italians, that he was taken by them, that he still cares for Kinn, that he wants to help Kinn. From Kinn’s perspective, it sounds too good to be true. Before Porsche, wouldn’t this have been what Kinn would have imagined and hoped for? You can’t exactly blame Kinn for falling prey to Tawan’s pretty words. Do you have to like it? No, but I think some of the anger towards him this week is overboard. Frustration would be more understandable, but to throw aside Kinn’s history, emotions, and complexities due to the assumption that he should now be a Better Man just because he’s with Porsche is just not realistic. People, for the most part, are not so easily changed.

Also, to me, it was so obvious Kinn wasn’t trusting of Tawan. He was visibly uncomfortable in every moment with him except the one in which the guy was showing him photos of their past relationship. Other than that, Kinn was on edge. He’s not suddenly happy that Tawan is back. He’s conflicted, unsure, and stuck like a stick in mud. If he instantly put his foot down towards Tawan, if he instantly assured Porsche that Tawan coming back is nothing, if he instantly did all of the Right Things that we as viewers want him to do — that would be out of character. It wouldn’t be realistic (I know, I’m overusing that word). Tawan coming back is something Kinn never could have expected or emotionally prepared for. He’s caught off guard. When it comes to his emotions, Kinn looses focus. We see it when he’s with Porsche. It’s why Korn consistently warns Kinn about keeping his distance from his emotions towards Porsche.

I’m not mad at Kinn. I’m not even frustrated with him. The moment he told the bodyguards to lock Porsche up, I immediately knew it was for show, and the following scene with Korn and Tankhun confirmed that. Even Porsche himself quickly came to the conclusion that it must have been for show when he heard footsteps coming for him in the cell (damn you Vegas).

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinn is trying #porsche is a mess too but everyone glances over it

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scoobydoodean · 1 year

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as a long-term cas girl and heller i want to say i am living for your destiel takes. the way some fans woobify cas drives me insane though i do think it's influenced by how the show treated him at the end. but i strongly agree cas needs to be dean's saviour and pre-decided a romantic relationship was impossible. people don't talk enough about the fact there's a massive age/culture gap between them in which cas has more power in virtually every way (if this were a m/f pairing with a human woman there would be more discourse about this imo, destiel is the m/m version of this very popular interspecies romance trope). anyway as someone who is not even a dean girl it's apparent to me that castiel is NOT a safe person for dean to love since EVER (if one interprets dean as repressing romantic feelings it's because that'd cause him even more pain than cas has already brought him).

🙏 The show absolutely treated Cas terribly, and one of the most frustrating things for me is the lack of resolution to his need to fall on a sword—how he is always trying to martyr himself and that... isn't resolved. Leaving that character note—letting it stand—is very much like letting Dean die young and bloody. Like. They both got ends they predicted in some sense, coming from a part of themselves that thought very lowly of their own worth as individuals? And I think that's extremely sad. Like. He got to confess his love and I love that, but at what cost, you know? I would absolutely love to see a canon resolution to that storyline that's satisfying and allows Cas to heal and grow out of the unilateral, lone wolf decision-maker situation.

Yeah Cas literally beat Dean bloody in an alley using his superior strength, and large swaths of destiel fandom think that's hot and it's just a big joke, but then loose their fucking minds with rage when Dean in season 10, under the influence of the MOC which is actually altering his personality, beats Castiel up using his now superior strength. The whole thing is just stupid. I actually think the age and cultural gap is something Dean struggles with a lot, and uses to excuse Cas's actions a lot, thinking he just can't understand him. Like. Dean knows Cas cares about him. The rest? It's just confusing. Like. I don't accept the actors feelings as being established canon or as forcing certain interpretations, but Jackles kind of implied he plays Dean this way—that Dean isn't sure what the things Cas does mean because he doesn't know if Cas is coming from things at the same frame of reference as him or if Cas is thinking about things from some weird angelic perspective... and Cas's actions give Dean a lot of reasons to be confused. He gives Cas a LOT of leeway over things I would have made a way bigger deal out of I think partly because of this.

It is sad that Cas isn't a person Dean could confess romantic feelings to if he has them (which—I think he probably does?), though I think another issue is just that. They are all always doing things. Like. They are CONSTANTLY busy with one thing after another. When would Dean ever have the space to even evaluate that, much less choose if he trusts Cas enough to tell him. Even Cas, on his side, only confessed because it presented an opportunity to save Dean (and die in the process jfc). Otherwise, it seems like he was probably cool with just... keeping silent about it forever? And I think one of the other things we don't talk about enough, is that these dudes are like... fucked up. They have PTSD. They have severe trauma, and there are a lot of emotional issues they are trying to contend with, so when exactly are they supposed to figure out whether they want to be open about romantic feelings and how? They are trying to deal with trauma from being lobotomized and tortured and possessed etc etc etc.

#spn finale poo poo #mail

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perverse-idyll · 1 year

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5 Things You Never Get Tired of Writing

Ah, thanks for tagging me, @billsfangearring! I am remarkably witless when it comes to thinking in terms of tropes and personal obsessions. So I’m just going to fake it. Tagging @danpuff-ao3, @titconao3, @liladiurne, @vulnerasanenturmyprince, @squibstress

rules: list five things you never get tired of writing. it can be tropes, themes, characters, phrases, whatever brings you joy. then tag five people!

1. I never seem to tire of describing Severus Snape, eyes, hands, greasy hair - even his arse (that’s for you, @consistentsquash, but I can’t deny it!). I love inflicting a Pathetic Fallacy on him, making his physical landscape reflect his emotional murkiness, the impact he has on the POV character (usually Harry), not to mention blurring the boundary between imperfectly, unpleasantly human and melodramatically, even mythically larger-than-life. I hope that makes sense. I enjoy translating Snape’s moral ambiguities into the messy human dimension while also leaning hard on ‘the uncanny’ (a way of othering Snape to make him vibrate at a different frequency than that self-same ordinary human version). I guess I want him to exist in between these two states. That’s the only reason I can think of for persisting in writing the extended version of The Lost World. No one needs this story! But Snape as Faust (or maybe that’s Al’s role?), Snape as Cupid, as Tam Lin, as the serpent in the garden… Ugh, this sounds so pretentious. And not Potterish at all! So much for concision. Anyway. You get the idea. My lavish physical descriptions of Snape act as gateways to the Mystery of the Interior. (Yes, I’m being tongue-in-cheek.) But I’ll stop now before my first “thing” on the list turns into an essay. 🙄 And because this reads as completely incoherent. Ah, one more almost-forgotten note: I love to describe Snape sensuously. To bestow on him an erotic existence and subvert or just plain ignore the penalties visited upon ugliness. So if you don’t want to read about Snape pacing through a story being a bitter, hot, fucked-in-the-head, smoldering, ugly man, avoid my fic.

2. Um, thing two. Bittersweet redemptions. Tragic redemptions, too. Also failed redemptions: see Mine the Gall. I’m using the term loosely, because maybe it's just a recovery or a realization, one earned but at a cost that may or may not have been worth it. This is a divide between reader me and writer me. As a reader, yes, sure, bring on the happy endings. They’re the perfect balm to balance the fics that wring my heart (which I grapple to me with hoops of steel). But when I’m writing, I gravitate toward loss and uncertainty and a more tentative kind of hope. I want the reader to feel a blissful pain. I like catharsis. But I also like the reward at the end, for my characters to reach the shore, weary and salt-shriveled and still together. The redemption may not wash away their guilt (looking at you, Severus), but it will still be more than they ever thought possible. Something they don’t believe they deserve - even if ‘deserve’ is the wrong way to look at it.

3. I love UST. Love, love, love it. Slather it around. Make my faves suffer because of it. Even when my OTP has already been locked in passionate embrace for thousands of words, I still want there to be UST, in defiance of the fact that once consummated, it should presumably be dispelled. And of course it must be soaked in equally unresolved feelings - erotic anguish, erotic contradictions, the incongruity of seemingly incompatible people welded to each other by unquenchable longing. The cocktail of unresolved tension - physical desire may be the glass, but yearning, projection, heartbreak, devotion, hatred, and tenderness provide the flammable alcohol. (Terrible metaphor, but I’m at work and can’t do better than that right now.) I love UST because it heightens everything. Even the most minor gesture acquires more meaning than it has any right to. I am not a subtle writer. I thrive on intensity.

4. The cocktail above reminds me - imagery. I’m not sure I could write without it. Periodically I try scraping the barnacles off - but there you go, the first thing I reach for is a metaphor. The elusiveness of meaning is a not-so-secret vice of mine, and imagery brings up those layers. I'm pretty convoluted in my mental processes anyway (not an approach to writing I recommend), and images in fic can evoke complex reactions without resorting to infodumping. Readers - all of us - interpret even the plainest, most straightforward prose through our personal filters, but images can sneak in on a more visceral level. Sometimes, of course, all those pretty phrases just clutter up the scenery. But if I find the right words, it can be the one indelible line, the one haunting moment a reader remembers long after they’ve forgotten what the fic is about.

5. I will keep this short. I like broken characters. I don’t enjoy breaking them myself, but I feel compelled to write about the way other characters cut themselves on those jagged edges. I enjoy mapping out their coping mechanisms, the degrees to which they’re able to heal (although not completely). How little they trust, how devastating their need for comfort can be. How cruel they are, how good at drawing blood, and how they see love as a force that can utterly shatter them. And more in that vein. But I’ve rattled on long enough!

#5 things I never get tired of writing meme #ugh so much blather #my obsessions are pretty obvious

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keanureevesisbae · 2 years

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Episode 2: The Fibonacci Spiral

Sergeant Hank Voight x Abigail Barlowe (asian ofc)

Summary: A serial killer is terrorizing Chicago and one math class back in the past, causes Abigail to help to solve the case

Warnings: mentions of serial killers and death (no cause of death is mentioned), canon typical violence.

Wordcount: 2.8k

Masterlist // fearless masterlist // season 1 masterlist

The city of Chicago has a serial killer on the loose. It is keeping everyone on edge. It’s been five days and five different households have been the victim of this serial killer. The media already made up a name for the perpetrator and called him ‘The Night Killer’, which only added more unnecessary fuel to the already ongoing fire.

I was hoping I wouldn’t the patrolling officer to discover the household that was terrorized, but unfortunately I was. While Forensics are already in the house, I can now see Intelligence pulling up at the scene. Johnston has been eerily silent and to be fair, it’s sickening to the stomach. I still am trying to comprehend what I just saw.

When I see detective Olinsky and sergeant Voight make their way over to me, I kinda have this wave of disappointment wash over me. I wish I would be in Intelligence right now. It’s been three weeks since I helped them out and the rush and the satisfaction I felt there, I have yet to find here at Patrol.

‘It’s the same?’ Voight asks as he approaches us.

‘It is,’ Johnston confirms.

‘It ain’t pretty,’ I add to it.

Voight looks over at me. ‘Kids?’

‘Yeah, two. A ten year old boy and a four year old girl.’ It sickens me to even say it out loud. I saw the bodies and it’s so devastating. It brings back memories and not the good kind.

Voight must notice I’m taking this a bit more personal than other cases, because he places his hand on my upper arm for a quick second, giving it a squeeze, before he says: ‘We’ve got this from here.’

I try to maintain a professional facade, by nodding at the sergeant, but uneasiness that comes with cases like this must be written all over my face.

‘Everything alright?’ Johnston asks. ‘With…’ Knowing he’s on dangerous territory here, he says: ‘…you know?’

Pretending I’m okay is always better then baring out my soul now. So I say: ‘I’m fine. Let’s just go, okay? See what we can do.’

He nods, respecting my decision not to talk about it. ‘Okay, little one. Let’s go.’

✧*̥˚🔎🔎🔎 *̥˚✧

Frederick and Ruth Callahan were the parents of Archie and Rebecca Callahan. It must’ve been terrible to witness, because autopsy shows the kids died before their parents, meaning they have witnessed their kids suffer.

And that really makes me wanna throw up.

‘Hi sergeant,’ I say, as Johnston and I walk into the station again.

‘Sergeant Platt, what can we do to help?’ Johnston asks, placing his elbow on the counter.

It’s clear she has a lot on her plate now, but still finds time to place two boxes filled files in front of us. ‘This needs to go upstairs.’

‘What is it?’

‘Case files,’ she says. ‘The other districts made copies and brought them over. Intelligence needs them.’

‘We’ll take them straight away,’ Johnston says, handing me one box, before grabbing the other one.

‘I’ll buzz you up.’

You know shit is serious when Platt buzzes you up without a snarky comment. Together with Johnston, we walk upstairs, to see the entire Intelligence team sharing their own insights with the team. We place the boxes on a semi empty desk and I hear things being shared. The victims are chosen ad random. No link between them whatsoever.

And then my eyes land on the board.

Five crime scenes, but the way they are located… With a little bit of fantasy, it can appear like a spiral. Not just any spiral, a different and unusual one. I’m opening every drawer in my memory, because this looks so familiar.

I know what this is.

‘Can I use this computer?’ I ask, pointing at the empty desk of Atwater.

Voight nods.

I slide behind it and start searching online. I’ve seen this before, but where and when?

After googling the most brief term on the planet (spiral math), I finally manage to find that something I was looking for. With a little bit of magic, I transfer it to photoshop and start to play a little bit with the software, knowing damn well I am no where near a professional, but my mediocre—okay, just plain awful basic skills—are enough to create what I want.

‘Patrol girlie, what you doing?’ Atwater asks me as he is approaching me—therefore his own desk—but I shush him.

After a bit of heinous photoshopping, I print it all out and place the pictures I created on the board. ‘I think I’ve got it. I think it has something to do with Fibonacci.’

‘Fibo what?’ Ruzek asks.

‘Fibonacci,’ I repeat, as if that explains it all. ‘I don’t remember much of the math college classes I took, but there was this one class that spoke about spirals and then specifically logarithmic spirals with a certain growth factor: the golden ratio. You have different types, but what we’re now looking at is Fibonacci. A logarithmic spiral, just constructed a bit different. So, Wikipedia told me that this specific spiral starts with a rectangle partitioned into two squares. In each step, the square length of the rectangle’s longest side is added to it. All in all: infinity.’

‘Yeah?’ Voight asks. ‘So?’

‘Look at the spiral over the map of Chicago. The spiral goes over each crime scene. Meaning if this is right, we might know where he is going to attack next. We basically have these these houses,’ I explain, going over the line that remains untouched when it comes to the crime scenes, ‘that could be targeted next.’

‘It makes sense,’ Jay says. ‘The victims had nothing in common and we’ve concluded many times now they are picked ad random. This might be random to the rest of the world, but for the killer, who has the same M.O. every single time, it makes perfect sense.’

‘What’s your guess for the next target?’ Antonio asks me.

‘Not too sure,’ I continue. ‘I haven’t checked each residence on the line yet, however… I suspect it has something to do with the Fibonacci sequence.’

‘And what is that?’ Atwater asks.

‘It’s 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, et cetera.’ Realizing that does not explain it at all, I add: ‘Basically it’s: zero plus one equals one. One plus one equals two. One plus two equals three. Two plus three equals five, and so on and so on. Some number in the Fibonacci sequence, probably far along the line, will give us something. I’ve got a website where you can put in a number and you’ll find out if it’s in the Fibonacci sequence or not.’

I’m nearly out of breath by the time I’m finished with my explanation.

‘You heard the lady,’ Voight says, ‘come back with something useful. Johnston, you busy?’

‘No sir,’ my partner says.

‘Stay and help out. We can use all the hands we have.’

He nods. ‘Sure thing, sarge.’

Voight looks over at me and nods. ‘Good work, officer Barlowe,’ he says.

Before I can gleam with pride, Jay asks: ‘Okay nerd, how are we gonna do this?’

✧*̥˚🔎🔎🔎 *̥˚✧

There were two houses whose house numbers matched one in the Fibonacci sequence. One house had three students living in it, the other had a couple.

To not stir anyone and create a media frenzy on top of the already fabricated mess. We have circled both houses with tons of plain clothed officers. Out of Intelligence, Atwater, Ruzek, Halstead and Olinsky have covered the bachelor pad of the students as that place has more exits to cover. Together with sergeant Voight and Johnston, I cover the other house. There is no wiring in the place. The inhabitants of the houses don’t even know we’ve circled their places. That we have eyes on the place, on every entrance.

As we’re waiting, my mind drifts off to this morning’s crime scene. Poor Rebecca Callahan. It’s sad for the entire family, truly, however seeing little Rebecca in her pajamas, her teddy bear still in her hands makes me wanna hurl. To curl myself up in a ball and scream.

‘Barlowe, head in the game?’ sergeant Voight asks, dragging me from my thoughts.

‘I have,’ I say, though that is a tremendous lie. I had my head everywhere but the game. Realizing he’ll poke right through my lie, I turn to the side and add: ‘I will.’

His eyes meet mine and he nods, but it appears he doesn’t believe me.

‘Sir, I will have my head in the game from now on,’ I say. ‘I promise.’

‘Then don’t doze off.’

From the corner of my eyes, I see Johnston hiding his amusement. Well, he can stick that ‘Abigail, he has taken a liking of you’-comment up his ass, because the sergeant is totally telling me off.

‘I won’t,’ I say. ‘On top of my game.’

Time goes by so slowly. It’s ten at night and we’ve been here since eight. For me it feels like eternity. I have never been good at waiting. I failed many of my stake outs on the first try, solely because I am impatient, easily distracted when staring into nothing, waiting for something.

‘What if I got it wrong?’ I ask. ‘What if this isn’t right?’

‘You’ve given us the most useful information about this case,’ Voight says. ‘If you got it wrong, at least you tried.’

‘Sarge, you ever encountered someone like this?’ Johnston asks. ‘A serial killer?’

‘Serial killers?’ Voight says. ‘Yes. Someone like this. No, never.’

‘We once chased a guy down the streets,’ I say. ‘Think it was within my first year. He shot my first partner and I just went on a rampage, desperate to find him. But he was quick and I lost him. Later, I accidentally caught him with Johnston, my newly assigned partner. Went for a drug bust, ended up finding him and the lives he took. It was the first crime Johnston and I semi solved together.’

Voight nods. ‘It never gets easier,’ he notes, ‘but eventually you’ll grow thick skin.’

Minutes go by, turning into an hour. ‘Got eyes on someone,’ Voight says.

We all sit straighter and we see a man. His back is straight as a ruler and he’s so pale, he nearly lights up in the darkness of the night. He has a little suitcase in his hand and with a certain expertise and confidence, he manages to open the window of the basement.

He did that a little too easy in my opinion.

‘We already got him for breaking and entering,’ I note. ‘We’re going in?’

‘Let’s wait one minute, but be ready.’

This is by far the slowest minute of my damn life. He finally gives us the go ahead and Johnston and I make our way out of the vehicle. Because I’m the tiniest, I am the only one who can fit through the window the our man got through. If I open the one next to it, Johnston and the sergeant can come with me.

After I cleared the basement from outside and inside, I squeeze myself through the opening and open the window. I guide them inside and we make our way through the house. Johnston and I thoroughly checking every room. But then I hear a deafening scream coming from the master bedroom.

I avert my eyes to Voight, who nods at both me and Johnston. My broad partner kicks in the door, screaming: ‘Chicago PD, hands in the air!’

The man in the bed is severely bleeding, however I do think I can still see him breathing. The killer drags the woman by her hair and pulls her up. Her screams are painful and it hurts to see her so terrified.

‘Let her go,’ Voight says.

I swallow hard, realizing this man has a plan. And letting her go, isn’t going to happen. We don’t have a clear shot already, but if we get him to focus on one person, he might turn. He might lower his guard and be less focused.

It’s always worth a try.

‘Hey,’ I say, putting my gun away. ‘Look, I am not going to shoot you, okay? Just… Let’s have a chat.’

It appears he is surprised by that fact. ‘About?’

Okay, he is not appalled by the idea, which is good.

‘The murders you committed,’ I say. ‘No matter what the papers or these guys say, I am absolutely fascinated by the precision.’

He frowns, however his ego is boosted a little, he can’t hide that.

‘I mean, it took us quite some time, but we figured it out. No wait, I figured it out,’ I say. ‘Fibonacci, right?’

He nods. ‘Yes, Fibonacci.’ He takes me in from top to bottom. ‘What’s your name?’

‘I’m officer Abigail Barlowe, but you can call me Abigail. What’s yours?’

‘Wesley.’

Good, I know his name. That’s one step. Besides, it’s better than The Night Killer, which I’m sure is only adding to his ego. ‘I am not an expert on it, but I feel like you are,’ I continue on.

As I’m talking to him, as I’m keep giving him compliments, I can tell he’s slacking and he isn’t quite aware of me closing in on him and giving the two cops I’m with more space.

‘Can you tell me about it?’ I ask.

He shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says, ‘because you’re not interested. You’re trying to get me to confess.’

‘I don’t really need your confession. We got you for breaking and entering already and you’re holding a woman at gunpoint,’ I dryly note. ‘If you talk, we can help you.’

The switch of the personality of this man is frightening. ‘I’m a dead man already,’ he says and he wants to point his gun at me, but before he can do that, a loud shot is cleared, red blood splatters fly through the air and the woman nearly launches herself in my arms. ‘It’s okay,’ I say, ‘you’re safe.’

Chicago is safe from the Night Killer.

✧*̥˚🔎🔎🔎 *̥˚✧

I have gotten quite good over the years, to push my personal business aside and not let it interfere with my work. Sure, sometimes cases remind me of my own past, but what I’m feeling now different.

After the Night Killer—a.k.a. Wesley Henderson—is dead by a shot cleared from sergeant Voight’s gun, I felt a mix of relief and jealousy wash over me. Chicago was no longer terrorized by this man, which is good news. The closure for everyone who deserves it, is also good news.

But I feel so jealous.

I look into Voight’s office and I decide to make my way over. I knock on the door. ‘Knock knock,’ I say. ‘Can I come in?’

He looks up from his work, before he nods and holds out his hand, non verbally telling me I could take a seat. ‘What’s up?’ he asks.

‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘I kinda went off script back there.’

Voight doesn’t seem like he is appreciative of my apology. ‘You saved their lives by stalling. You did well. I don’t need an apology for that.’

I lean back in the seat. ‘Thank you.’

He sits up straighter, placing his underarms on the desk. ‘You know,’ he says, ‘you’ve shown me time and time again you’re a great cop. The CPD should be grateful you’re one of them.’

I feel my face heating up, but thanks to my soft brown skin it doesn’t show. ‘Thank you, sir. That truly means a lot.’

‘I’ve heard you have aspirations of joining Intelligence.’

I bet that was Johnston. Don’t know if I’m going to be thankful for him blabber mouthing or not. ‘I have indeed expressed those wishes,’ I carefully say.

‘Why do you think you’d fit in Intelligence?’

I realize this is my shot and I do not want to fuck it up. But then I realize I don’t know what to say. ‘Well,’ I say, ‘I love to protect and to serve, but I personally feel like patrolling isn’t what I want to do all my life, especially when I am of the belief I have a lot more to offer.’

Sergeant Voight nods. ‘Well, I share that belief,’ he says, ‘because you’ve got a lot to offer. So, that’s why I want to make an offer. If you want, you can join Intelligence.’

Thank you, Tyrell Johnston for running off your mouth. ‘Excuse me?’ I ask. ‘You want me to join intelligence?’

‘The spot is yours if you want.’

That is probably the greatest news I’ve heard today. I let out a laugh of unbelief. ‘I’ll that it!’

He nods, when something that resembles a smirk appears on his face. ‘Then I will see you tomorrow, officer Barlowe.’

‘See you tomorrow, sergeant. I will not let you down and keep my head in the game.’

‘Atta girl,’ he says, now officially smirking. ‘Now go home and rest. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.’

✧*̥˚🔎🔎🔎 *̥˚✧

Chicago PD taglist: @acdassenza // @wanniiieeee

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