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K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 4B

So, this is the first chapter of an alternate timeline that we wrote to the fourth crossover. This diverges from the story at the original chapter 4 (I'll call it chapter "4A" and this is the "B" timeline.)

The first three chapters go the same way, and then in chapter 4, for the "B" timeline, Jim's dropoff with his sister goes without incident, meaning Valen doesn't get burned and therefore does not come back into human territory with Jim. They go their separate ways and don't meet again until years later.

Since Valen does not have the protection from Jim and Liz in this timeline, he ends up getting captured by vampires hunters when he comes back years later--the same ones that took Kane in K+J. Those hunters then get the details from Jim's book mixed up--since obviously Valen would be mentioned in it--and think of Valen as "That vampire from Jim Liberman's book," assuming he's the one who held Jim hostage without really checking the details. They then offer Valen to Jim, who showed up expecting Kane like in K+J canon. So this version would be more of a "caretaker-turned-whumpee" and "whumpee-turned-caretaker" story.

We lovingly refer to this as "the horrors version." What happens to Valen in this AU is much, much worse than what happens to him in canon MMSS.

K&J masterlist

MMSS masterlist

K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist

To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday

Warnings: Blood, aftermath of torture. The usual. Just some real sicko shit.

***

The rest of the meeting at the border is tense, but ultimately goes off without a hitch. Valen is ultimately happy to be rid of the car and simply runs back home. They exchanged phone numbers, and Valen calls to leave a message to say he got home safely.

They talk a little bit over the phone over the next week or two, but Valen decides to leave Jim to his human life, and goes back to focusing on his research. Down the road, he realizes he needs to spend some time on human territory to make it feasible, but by then he hasn't talked to Jim in years and doesn't want to bother him. That's when the unthinkable happens.

***

They'd told Valen that his victim, Jim Liberman, was coming to pick him up, for revenge. That he'd get his just deserts.

Valen can't remember who Jim is. He'd racked his brain, trying to think of all the people he'd ever wronged, and had come up empty. He's no stranger to tears at this point, but he cried like he'd never cried before that day, salty tears streaming down his cheeks in the same track they'd run a thousand times before, over the bare silver muzzle that had been fused with his melted skin for years at this point. They hadn't even given him a chance, they'd just assumed the worst about him and used that as evidence that he deserved the worst torture imaginable for years, and now he was going to be given to someone who was going to treat him even worse, and he couldn't even remember who or why.

Then the hunter drags him outside and throws him at the feet of the human who was to be his new jailer. And he does recognize him. They met once for a few days, 15 years ago, and Valen's hazy, pain-addled brain can't quite remember what their interaction had been. Valen found him outside, he remembers, and he'd taken him home. That was bad, right? Had he kidnapped Jim? Maybe that's what they'd been talking about.

That doesn't sound like something Valen would do, though. Well, maybe it was something he would do now, he has no way of knowing what kind of person he is now. He does remember he used to be very kind and compassionate, though, and it seems like he wouldn't have hurt a stray human. But the hunters have been telling him over and over that he's a monster, a leech, a wretched animal that deserves all the pain it's getting, so maybe he did hurt Jim, maybe he does deserve to be strung up in the sun forever with his air cut off.

But still. Even if he deserves it, it's too horrible to think about. He trembles on the ground, looking at Jim’s knees with pleading eyes. Please just kill me. Please just end this travesty of existence.

All of Jim's nerves and expectations go out the door the second he lays eyes on the vampire the hunter pushed in front of him.

Not Kane. Valen.

Jim looks at him in shock that quickly morphs into horror. He opens his mouth to object, to say you had the wrong guy and even if you had the right guy this would be unthinkable, but the words die in his throat. They're already handing Valen over to him, and only because they think he deserves revenge. He won't say anything that could even potentially jeopardize that. These hunters probably would not approve of him freeing Valen. God, they used the padded cuffs he brought for Kane, but that's a silver muzzle.

"I'll be g-going now." he says shakily to the hunter instead.

"Just give me a call if it's too much trouble and you want to return it." says Chase.

"That won't be necessary." Jim says curtly, trying to hold back tears. He and the hunter exchange goodbyes, and Jim drops to his knees, eye-level with Valen.

"Oh my god. Oh my god, Valen, holy shit, what did they do to you?" he whispers in horror.

"What did they do to you?" Just what I deserve, right? That's what they'd been saying this whole time, so he'd started to believe it. The alternative was something unthinkable.

Jim reaches to unlock the muzzle- he can try to talk to Valen about the whole please don't use persuasion on me thing later, but it's apparent that Valen won't be able to speak for a bit anyway. "I'm gonna take this off, is that okay?" he asks.

Jim is taking the muzzle off? That can't be right. The muzzle stays on was the very first rule the hunters had laid down, because he was dangerous and could use his mouth to hurt in a number of ways, and this burning sensation locked around the lower half of his face had become the only constant in his new life, and the idea that it would go away had never occurred to him as a possibility. It was part of him now, just as his skin was melted to the silver.

And why is Jim asking Is that okay? like his opinion on anything makes any difference? What is he doing, talking to Valen like he's a person? Valen doesn't answer, sitting there with eyes downcast. Some humans didn't like it when he made eye contact, they said he was trying to use persuasion on them, and that earned him the ultimate punishment: the sun. He avoided eye contact like the plague. Even just looking up at Jim earlier had been risky.

"Alright. I'm goin' for it. Sorry that there's no way to do it without it hurting, but that thing on your face can't be comfortable. Sooner I get it off, sooner you can heal, right?" Jim gives his bony shoulder a gentle squeeze. "S'gonna be okay. You're out. I- I'm gonna help you, like you helped me." His tears do fall, then.

He unlocks the muzzle and begins pulling it off. It's melted into Valen's face and almost impossible to remove. His skin tears like wet paper. Jim punctuates his efforts with a sorry every few seconds until it's off, leaving Valen's face a gory mess, lips completely gone and teeth on full display. Jim retches involuntarily at the sight. "I'm so fucking sorry, Valen. Least it's off."

Valen dissociates from the pain, just thinking of Jim’s words. It's going to be okay? I'm gonna help you? None of this sounds right, it clashes with what the hunters had been telling him for years. Like you helped me. Maybe Valen had helped this human? But then why had the hunters punished him? Helping a stray human does sound more like something Valen would have done, though, in the past, when he'd been a person and not a rabid animal.

Oh, that's right. That's the answer to what kind of person he is now, as he'd wondered earlier. He's not a person at all, he's a mindless animal, the kind that would, here still on the hunter's doorstep, immediately bite the metaphorical hand that feeds, in an attempt to turn it into the literal hand that feeds.

Valen's mouth hadn't been free in years, and all he can think of is his primal instincts urging him to take the chance to feed while he can. They hadn't needed to train the instinct out of him, because he'd had no opportunity to use it. And Jim is so very full of delicious, aromatic blood, and so soft and vulnerable, and so very, very right there next to his mouth, and Valen is so very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very hungry.

As soon as Jim says least it's off, the gory mess he'd just exposed around Valen's jaw comes to life and snaps shut over Jim's wrist.

Jim freezes, eyes wide and mouth shut tight. He cranes his neck to the side, just like he's supposed to, even though it's covered in fabric and Valen feeds from his wrist. He hasn't forgotten how to behave.

He trembles horribly as Valen feeds, crying much harder, though the only sounds that escape him are quiet sobs.

Until he starts to feel lightheaded. More lightheaded than Kane ever made him, even when Kane overfed.

"Valen, p-please." he whispers through his tears.

Nobody hears him. Valen's stomach is a blackhole that can never be filled, his heart a void that screams to be filled with violence.

Valen, p-please... Valen is gone, there's only this animal that won't stop drinking until he's forced to. He'll kill Jim, but he doesn't care, he can't.

He bites again, getting a bigger mouthful, tearing more skin, sweet, wet blood gushing into his mouth, down the front of his nearly-naked body

Jim knows it's bad bad bad, he'll be punished for sure, but he has to get away or he'll die. He pushes Valen off of him- it's easier than he'd thought it would be. His already-hurting wrist erupts even further into pain, and Jim cries out softly, cowering away from him.

Valen hasn't been strong in years. It's easy to push him off, his fangs tearing the skin as they're pulled out. He swallows what's in his mouth desperately, licking the remaining blood off his shaking, chained hands.

He bit, he attacked, he fed, the ultimate thing he wasn't allowed to do. The hunters are all still nearby, they'll surely hear Jim's pained sounds, and then he'll be punished beyond belief. But he needs the blood, he needs it, he can't think of anything else.

Jim holds his bleeding wrist to himself, sobbing.

"I'm sorry, I'm s-sorry, sir." he blubbers. "Please don't hurt me, I'm sorry. Please, I just, I don't wanna die."

Chase comes back out, hearing the commotion. "The fuck! It bit you?!"

Valen cowers when Chase comes back on the scene, his very presence instantly reducing Valen to a submissive, trembling mess. He whines like a dog, the only method of communication that had been available to him for years, and presses himself into the floor. Please don't put it back on, please please please.

Jim snaps out of it with the hunter's call. He's on a rescue mission now, he remembers. He needs to get Valen out of here safe, no matter now terrified he is of him.

"N-no." he lies, unable to stop crying. "This is the vampire's blood. Just, just tryin' to switch muzzle."

"Fuck, I told you it wasn't a good idea. You should've asked. Here, let me put the muzzle back on, it's better with it on." Chase starts to approach, going straight for the discarded silver muzzle on the ground.

Jim kicks the gore-covered monstrosity away. "No, just, use the one I've got." He doesn't want to muzzle Valen at all, especially given how painful Valen's face looks, but there's no way he can drive home with Valen unmuzzled after this. "It's in the car."

"Right, switching. Sure, your call." As Chase goes to grab the padded muzzle from the car, Jim mouths I'm sorry to Valen.

Chase fastens the muzzle onto Valen, too tight. "You good to go? Need anything else?" He assumes Jim's crying is due to seeing his captor again, emotions high.

"I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Yes." Jim insists. "I can handle this."

"Alright. Drive safe." Chase heads back inside.

Valen remains a terrified, quivering puddle on the floor, hardly able to believe he'd escaped Chase's check-in without being strapped to the board and set outside in anticipation of the sunrise. He'd swallowed blood, he'd fed, and it's better than he's felt in years despite the raw mess of his face and the new muzzle squeezing him. It doesn't burn, and his stomach has something in it, and any relief from the pain in any amount is welcome at this point.

He rolls over so he's facedown on the ground. He's muzzled again, the way he should be, and that's enough for his brain to remember he's supposed to be submissive and obedient and nonthreatening. He stares straight at the ground, no chance of eye contact

Jim shuffles back over to Valen and reaches out a shaking, bleeding hand to gently rest on his forehead. This way, if Valen lunges again, he can easily push back. Heart clenching with terror, he puts his uninjured hand under Valen's muzzled mouth.

"Please spit." he whispers. "I can't ask the hunter for first aid without letting him know you bit me. I need the bleeding to stop. Please."

Valen looks at what Jim's doing through a haze of pain and confusion. Spit. He knows that one. He has to be obedient.

As best as he can through the bit blocking his mouth, he lets bloody saliva dribble out of his mouth, stringing down into Jim's hand

"Thank you." Jim retracts both hands and rubs the saliva over his wound, thankfully stopping the bleeding pretty quick.

He takes a moment to breathe, trying to calm himself down. "Well, least I don't have to psyche myself up to feed you. Jumpin' right in the deep end." he says nervously. "Do you remember, when you found me? I was dying, and you gave me water. You saved my life. I'll never forget it. I'll make sure you get home safe, too."

Valen doesn't look at him. He can't. But Jim's words are washing over him in waves. Valen had saved his life. Yes, that sounds right. He'll make sure he gets home safe, too. That doesn't. Valen is a dangerous creature, and he'd just attacked Jim, and he was going to be disciplined and tortured. It'd already sunk in a long time ago that he was going to be imprisoned and in pain for the rest of his life, and there was no way he could let himself believe Jim's words, to open the can of worms to start hoping again, because that was always how he got hurt emotionally. Bitter tears spring into his eyes.

As shaken as he is by the bite, Jim remembers what it was like to be so thirsty he'd do anything for water. He gets it, and he can see how terrified and desperate Valen is.

"It's okay. Let's get you in the car, alright?" Jim takes Valen's arm and helps him into the back seat, figuring he might want to lie down.

He's too nervous to take the muzzle off: if Valen bites while he's driving, it'd be very bad for both of them. He does take off both sets of cuffs, though. "Hope that's a little more comfortable. It's gonna be a few hours until we get back to my place, figure you could crash there while you heal up and head home whenever you're ready. I'll take that thing off when we get home, okay?" He gestures to the muzzle. "Don't wanna get in an accident."

Valen watches Jim help him into the car, and take his manacles off, and promise him gentleness, all with wide, uncomprehending eyes. Head home? Head home???? The possibility is too absurd to comprehend. Is Jim being cruel, messing with him? No, that doesn’t make sense. If Valen really had saved Jim's life, maybe this is real?

He lies down in the back of the car, with his wrists free, limply allowing himself to be carted around. He should apologize for biting Jim as soon as he can. Maybe that will earn him less pain.

He stews in that thought for part of the ride before being once again overwhelmed by his animalistic fear, and he starts pawing at the muzzle, trying to get it off, but there's a lock on it. He whines, tears streaming down his face.

Jim hears miserable whining from behind him. "Hold on, lemme pull over and see what's up.”

He does, pulling onto the shoulder and opening the back door. "I know it sucks right now. I'm so sorry. I'd ask what's wrong, but there's a lot. What can I help you with right now?" He's hoping Valen can charade it to him. He doesn't have anything to write with, and Valen won't be able to talk until he heals, muzzle or not.

Valen claws at the muzzle on his face, worming around in the backseat, just wallowing in his desperation

"Hey, hey hey hey." Jim hesitantly reaches out and takes Valen's hands in his. "If I take that thing off you, are you gonna bite me again? I'll take it off if you think you can hold off."

Valen tries to steady himself. Jim is helping him, Jim is trying to help him. Right?

He bit Jim, and it was nowhere near enough blood to sate his hunger, but if he wants the muzzle off, he has to not bite. He can do that, right? He nods slowly

"Awesome. Thank you, I know it's gotta be hard. But you did take enough to make me woozy, so I hope it's enough, 'cause I can't give you more tonight. I only got so much blood. I'll find a way to get you more soon, though, okay?" He can ask people. Liz or Laken, maybe.

Jim unlocks the muzzle, lifting it off Valen's face. "Didn't realize that asshole put it on this tight. I'm sorry, that had to hurt, 'specially with your face. Is there anything else?"

It's off and it'll stay off if he behaves. He can do that, he can behave. He rolls over and curls up into a ball. He wishes he had something to cover himself, in case the sun comes up. Still hiding his face, he mimes a motion like pulling a blanket over himself

"Yeah, fuck, sorry." Jim should've been thinking about the fact that Valen would want some clothes for the ride home. He came expecting to have to come face to face with his abuser, only to be met with this entire situation, and his brain's on the fritz. He takes his flannel off and hands it to Valen. "Will this work for now? We'll be home in like, two hours, and then I can get you some real clothes." It’s well before sunrise, but Valen would have no way of knowing what time it is.

Still crying, Valen takes the flannel and wraps it around himself, barely managing to get his arms into the sleeves, like he doesn't remember how to put on a shirt.

Thank you. It's the most covered he's been in years, and if he gets thrown into the sun, less of him will be burned. He wants to say thank you. But no, that's talking, that's bad, he might use persuasion, he has to show he's obedient. Eyes still downcast, he nods, hoping Jim can see his appreciation non-verbally.

"Alright. Let me know if you need anything else. When we get home, I'll get you a pen and paper so you can write. You can take a bath, get into some pajamas, and I've got a bed set up in the basement for you." Jim gets back in the driver's seat and keeps going.

All of that sounds too good for him. He doesn't deserve a bath, and pajamas, and a bed. He knows that now, the hunters taught him, the hunters taught him he needs to be happy with a concrete floor and a hose and whatever pain they were giving him, because it could always, always be worse, somehow.

Valen tries to show he's grateful, but he's just so scared. He can't get his hopes up that this foggy promise of comfort from somewhere above him is real and not something he's imagining. He has a very good imagination.

He stays curled up in a ball, shaking. It's the first time in forever nothing is actively hurting him, and he has something in his stomach, and he feels okay, but all this change is making the entirety of his ordeal hit him all at once, and he can't seem to stop crying and being scared even though Jim is being kind to him. He tries to stay quiet so as not to seem ungrateful, but the tears and sobs occasionally come out in waves all the way home.

Jim's heart breaks for Valen. He has no idea what kind of unimaginable horrors he's been through, but he knows what it's like to be helpless and scared. He's just glad he can do something about it.

When they arrive home, Jim opens the back door and peers in at Valen again. He's nervous, very nervous, to be so close to Valen after the bite. But for the past decade, Valen's been almost like a deity of safety in his mind, the savior who took him from the brink of death and delivered him home. If Valen isn't safe, no one is.

"We're here, bud. C'mon, let's get you inside." he encourages, holding out a hand for Valen to take.

Valen wants to bite again. He really, really wants to. All he'd wanted to do for the past five years was bite the people who were causing him pain, and he is in pain and helpless and scared, and it's like wading through thick fog to grasp what's actually going on and what he needs to do.

Don't bite, the muzzle will stay off if you don't bite. Don't bite.

He gingerly reaches out and takes Jim's hand.

Jim takes him inside, leaving all the restraints in the car. He doesn't plan on using them. "Alright, what do you wanna do first? Bath, sleep, or write? Uh, just hold up one two or three fingers. And I'll get you some clothes."

Valen feels so overwhelmed by the way Jim is talking to him. He has to make decisions? He's too tired to think, drained and exhausted by his hunger and fear. He holds up two fingers. That was for sleep, right? Maybe he wants to just be left alone for a while

"Yeah, I bet you're exhausted. Lemme grab something for you to wear, just hang tight for a second, yeah?" Jim leaves briefly, returning with a set of soft checkered pajamas and a familiar outfit: the clothes Valen gave to Jim 10 years ago.

"I can finally return 'em." Jim says with a smile, handing everything to Valen.

Valen takes the clothes with shaking hands. He recognizes them. He finally remembers taking Jim home and caring for him when he was in need. Just as Jim is doing for him now. He buries his face in the outfit and drops to his knees, crying. He wants to say thank you. But he shouldn't try to talk, that's bad, and he should be good for Jim, who's helping him.

Jim goes down with him, rubbing his back, careful to avoid the half-healed burns. "You're gonna be alright. I've got you. I won't let anything bad happen to you. How about I show you downstairs, you get some rest, and tomorrow you can get cleaned up, get some more blood in you, and if your mouth's not healed enough to talk yet- which, yeah, I dunno how long that'll take- you can write anything you wanna say. Sound good?"

Valen tries to compose himself, sniffling. He's scared, but all he can really do is hang in there and trust that what Jim is saying is true, and that everything will be okay. Downstairs and rest sound nice.

When Jim shows him downstairs, the basement reminds him uncomfortably of his cell at the hunter's compound, although he quickly decides he'd prefer it to the upstairs anyway just because it has no windows and therefore no risk of the sun.

There's a bed, and a blanket, and a pillow. Jim intends those to be for him, right? He'd said he'd set up a bed for him. Right? But it seems so outrageously luxurious, so much more than he deserves or is used to, that he can't bring himself to accept it. He must be misunderstanding somehow, or thinking wishfully. Such things are not for him anymore, and he can't risk seeming entitled and presumptuous. He can hear the hunters' voices: You think you get a bed, leech? That's cute.

No, he can't risk it. He needs to show he'll be happy with whatever Jim gives him. Especially after he'd bitten Jim. There's no way that behavior should be rewarded like this.

He really, really wants the blanket, so maybe if he shows he knows his place, Jim will be kind and give it to him anyway, even though it's too good for him.

Valen staggers to the corner of the room and slides down onto the ground, lying on the cement floor with the clothes Jim had given him under his head as a substitute for a pillow. He hopes that misusing the clothes that way won't seem too entitled. The voices come back. Oh, you think you deserve a pillow, leech? That's cute. Since you don't know how to use them, might as well take them back.

"Oh, hey, what's wrong? Is something wrong with the air mattress? I know it's not, like, the best thing ever, but I only got... you can use my bed if you want. It's upstairs, but I can close the curtains and you should be peachy." Jim offers. "You can sleep wherever you want. Take your pick."

Oh no, no, this is too hard, it's too hard to try and figure out if it's really safe to accept the air mattress. He wants it so badly, which is the exact reason why he knows he can't have it. That is something they trained into him. He curls his bony knees up to his chest and cries, unsure of what to do

Okay, Valen is scared. He's just scared. "It's okay. Nothing's gonna hurt here." Jim says softly. "How about you put on your pajamas and get into bed? Can you do that? I'll turn around while you get changed, just like, make any noise to let me know when you're done or if you need help.”

He turns around, hoping this will encourage Valen.

Valen wishes Jim would stop phrasing things so ambiguously, and start just saying what he wants Valen to do. He is used to commands, not ambiguous suggestions. How about you put on your pajamas and get into bed could mean anything. He thinks it means Jim wants him to do that, but he really wishes Jim would just order him to use the bed so he can do it without being afraid that he's doing something he'll be punished for.

But he'd said Nothing's gonna hurt here. That doesn't seem right. How will Jim punish him, then, if he won't be using pain to do it? Unless Jim doesn't think he needs punished? Maybe he doesn't, if Valen saved him, like it seems like he did forever ago, in another life. But the hunters had seemed so sure he'd deserved it, so maybe they knew something Jim didn't.

Oh no, if that was the case then maybe there was some danger that Jim could find out what it was that made him deserve pain, and then stop being nice to him and helping him. His brain runs off in this anxious train of thought, before he tries to ground himself by the fact that Jim has turned around and clearly wants him to get changed. Just get changed, you can do it, stop using your wild imagination and just get changed.

He drops the mangled, bloodstained tatters that comprise the clothes he'd been wearing when he'd been captured to the ground, then pulls on the pajamas. They're soft and warm and cozy, and so, so wonderful and that makes him so nervous because surely this can't be for him, this has to be a mistake, right?

Say thank you, say thank you or he might take them back. He tries to remember how to talk. You have to vibrate your throat, like a growl, and move your lips, except he doesn't have those right now. He tries anyway, and it comes out as a strangulated gurgle. He puts his hands over his mouth. No, talking is bad, isn't it? He doesn't know, he'd never been given the opportunity with the hunters.

Jim turns around at the sound to see Valen dressed. "Awesome. You can go to bed now, get some rest. And don't touch the door, okay? It's got silver on it. I was, uh, expecting someone else, not you. The hunters said I was picking up Kane, so y'know, precautions. I'll leave it open, so don't worry about it. You need anything else before I head up?"

Go to bed. Go to bed, go to bed means go to the bed and lie down in it and close your eyes and go to sleep. Right? He wants to so badly. But he is so, so anxious. He wants Jim to reaffirm that he means for Valen to sleep on the air mattress. It feels like it's not going to be safe to accept the bed and the blanket and the pillow unless Jim tells him he has to.

He can't look Jim in the eye and give him a questioning facial expression. He can't ask Are you sure? Valen is completely oblivious as Jim tells him about the door--he has no intention of going near the door, or trying to escape, escape is impossible and useless to even hope for--he's laser-focused on the bed. He steps towards it and kneels again, slowly extending one hand out to touch the blanket, whimpering as though he expects Jim to hit him. Keeping his eyes low, he looks at Jim and pauses with his hand on the blanket, to give Jim an opportunity to either tell him to keep going, or to shoo him away and confirm his doubts.

"Yeah, that's it. Shit, at least Kane let me sleep in a damn bed. Go for it. You're all good." Jim gives him a thumbs-up. "Or, uh, if there's some other problem, I could get something for you to write with after all?"

Valen nods at the suggestion, and holds his hand out, trying not to cry. Why did this feel so hard?

"Alright, one second." Jim heads upstairs, coming back a moment later with a pen, paper, and a cutting board he grabbed just for a hard surface to put the paper on. He sits on the air mattress, handing Valen the materials and patting the space next to him. "What do you wanna say? It's alright, you're safe now."

Valen doesn't get up onto the bed next to Jim. He stays kneeling on the floor and takes the materials from Jim. His hand is shaky, and he fumbles with the pencil, crying as his hands struggle to write, something he hasn't done in years. Eventually he manages to get out a message in messy font: I don't deserve a bed.

Jim sighs sadly. "Yeah you do, man. You deserve a bed. Promise. Look, I don't know all of what those fuckers did to you, I can't say I know how you feel. But I do know what it's like to have to learn how to be a person again after being told over and over again I'm not one. You're a person. You deserve nice things, and you deserve to be safe, and you deserve a bed. Okay?"

Finally, finally that's enough to make him feel like he can take the bed without being anxious about it. It sounds like it's safe for the blanket and pillows too. Tears still rolling down his cheeks, he crawls into the bed underneath the blanket, balling up and tucking himself away.

"There you go. Feel free to come up and get me if you need anything, alright? Up the stairs, down the hall, first door on the left. Hope you sleep good." Jim pats him on the shoulder before getting up, turning the lights off, and heading upstairs. As promised, the door remains open.

The feeling of softness around him still feels wrong wrong wrong, after so long on hard floors, but he weeps with joy at the luxury. He falls asleep truly comfortable for the first time in years. Maybe, just maybe everything is going to be okay. He doesn't try and get out of bed, especially not to leave the room; he isn't convinced he could make it up the stairs anyway. But he doesn't even want to. He doesn't want to escape from the luxury of having a blanket.

***

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#reblog #whump

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