#i love talking about this sort of stuff

[lunarcrown]

Absolutely like….MIND BLOWN getting to do a RANCHER TATTOO?? and @acidistyping traveling SO FAR to me as well for it, I cannot BELIEVE how lucky I am :,,,)) thank u for making my job so COOL

#it’s still VERY ANGRY but I love it soooo much #the prompt was just canary and blue flame so it would be subtle and cool and I had SO MUCH FUN #AND we got to watch day two hermit charity stream and the hot ones and talk about all sorts of hermit stuff IT WAS SO COOL #team rancher #rancher duo #my art #my tattoos

[katabay]

original thief series basso & garrett :)

ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels

there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.

anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

#if i had a laptop and the skillset i would attempt a story mod because the thief modders who create whole mission stories #are GENIUS and also somewhat terrifying. love them! xoxox #anyway im actually kind of obsessed with parts of thi4f but its also like. not at that sweet spot of almost good enough to be fun #to talk about. which. for the record. has not stopped me from talking about it at length to people #the city itself actually fucking fascinates me. its almost alive and im SO mad that not a single part of that game is actually terrifying #it should be gnarlier and instead it feels a bit like it doesn't quite want to be trapped in the story it has to tell? #but between the level that has the bodies on the meathooks #and the scene with the bodies hanging from the rafters or whatever that was and garrett living in a clock tower #because the game is very much ALMOST about changing times and authoritarian violence and capitalism #(like. by virtue of how the story sort of spins out i think it misses it's mark on a lot of stuff here #in the sense that i dont feel like it actually wants to tell that story. it wants to. go in a different direction. or at least walk on top #of those themes instead of through it) #ANYWAY between all of those things. it does kind of live in my head rent free. they did create a compelling setting #SHAME THEY DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF IT #unrelated but i would've given thi4f a 10/10 if they kept garrett's fucking nail polish from the concept art. cowards. unforgivable #thief the dark project #i still have no idea how to tag the game series as a whole RIP #sorry for the dedicated dark project fans. if you know what the general series tag is. please let me know #garrett thief #basso thief

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[faustodisco]

Actually if we want to talk about the lilienne/joyce ship I would like to bring up that it plays into the bourgeois woman’s fantasy of class dynamics in a relationship (à la lady chatterley), as well as the upper/middle class idea that their identity as women supersedes said class dynamics (and therefore they believe themselves to be in no position to oppress women of the working class) in a way that lends itself to reactionary movements like TERF ideology. As someone who lives in the uk and has been heavily affected by said ideology, joyce actually put me on high alert just by her voice and appearance.

I think it’s a mistake not to acknowledge that joyce is heavily thatcherite coded (the hair, the posh accent etc) especially when compared to lilienne who plays into the working class british woman archetype: she sounds welsh (considered a ‘lower’ accent), has young children, is a widower etc. It is fairly common to see the ‘confident mum who has to single-handedly support her young family’ in soap operas and other media, and she definitely plays into that stereotype.

Anyway, the ship is on the surface level a fun one, but let’s not overlook the framing as a one-sided and rather sinister set-up.

#does this make any sense I always write these very late at night for some reason. might revise my wording later lol. #disco elysium #lilienne the net picker #joyce messier #also want to clarify: when I say that welsh is a lower accent I am of course talking about the perspective of the upper class who tend to #lean towards queen’s english or a sort of high scottish if they have old clan status #accents in this country are considered indicative of upbringing and financial status that tends to get overlooked by usamericans #when they talk about people here lol #ALSO because I see people adding this in the tags: I do think the ship is fun when explored from a darker angle #I do love toxic relationship stuff I’m not morality policing lol. go crazy.

[waterwindow]

the difference between what people like on twitter vs what people like on tumblr from me is kinda mind blowing

#like this latest pic is the biggest discrepancy #people on twitter love it when i talk about the game or try to make a smart subtle commentary about it #but on tumblr people really dont seem to care or understand tf2 the game or rocket jumping or things like that- which is fine #thats why i have both #i just feel like I get more people who openly come and talk to me about that sort of thing here on tumblr #vs barely getting anything nearly as curious or engaged on twitter #yet the notes do be wilding for gaming stuff compared to here #i couldn't really tell you what does better on tumblr compared to twitter tho #but ye just interesting #i wonder what it is about twitter thats got more gaming people #its probably an age thing #this isn't me complaining btw i just see it a lot and i find it fascinating #by in large i'd assume the tumblr fanbase care more for the characters themselves and not the state of the game or how it feels to play it #Its nice to see two different sides ot a fanbase

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

questioning sexuality is so exhausting

#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me) #i keep on doing it for no apparent reason #someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that. #even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women. #i hate it here! #for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man! #at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage #and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk #but at the same time i. want to be loved. #i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself #i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it #and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately #this isn't entirely related but it kind of is #like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it? #i don't know. i don't know! #for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know #i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that. #but i don't know how to stop it. #i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all. #this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are #queer stuff tag #i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as #the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing #ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded #also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him #i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know #i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all. #i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever #care for me #now im rambling. sorry

[rusty-gloinks]

Hellooo silly tumblr people on my browser!!! I’ve decided to kind of avoid posting about murder drones stuff, and talk about it less frequently as it doesn’t interest me as much as it did, or at least until I’m able to get some new insight on episodes or teasers (which I may come back for). I’m really figuring out what I like and figuring out what I actually love drawing besides robots!! (Though I do LOVE robots they are wonderful creatures to me, just not drawing them 24/7) Who knows, maybe I’ll start talking about murder drones out of the blue, but I think it’s good to take a break from something every once in a while! I like finding out what I enjoy most :-)

#TLDR; the queer cephalopods took away my big kooky robot fandom interest .I’m a moth breaking out from its cocoon if u will #This is a bonus pack and also comes with an AWESOME layout change .brb /silly #Also this does NOT in ANY way. Prevent you from talking to about it with me!! I don’t mind it at all!! #Wrenbles #And lest I mention it’s kind of about the fandom itself😭 like artists are awesome in fact i love my mutuals cool art abt Md!!! #(Not excluding the thousands of other wonderful artists that inspire me like REALLY inspire me so thank you for that) #There’s always problems and frankly I’d enjoy to just NOT participate or pay attention to it cause it’s like almost everyday there’s issues #Maybe just glitch stuff in general cause I sort of came to a disliking on tadc a bit too . Though I have favoritism towards Pomni sooo. Erm #anyways I don’t HATE murder drones and I’m not leaving because hell knows I’m coming back once I can feast on something Md related again😭😭 #I’ll just be avoiding/posting less about it. You’re free to talk to me about it if you want. I can’t stop you!! But it’s not my thing rn :] #AND IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG💔💔IVE WANTED TO POST THIS FOR A WHILE

[liquidstar]

arc 4/season 2 of re:zero really did have a bunch of sets of siblings with lots of focus on them. it seemed to be a bit of a recurring theme for the season. family bonds as a whole were really important, especially where the backstory was concerned, but in contrast to that, the sibling relationships seemed to be about moving each other forward. in different ways though...

like, you have frederica and garfiel. they're estranged half-siblings, but frederica still obviously cares so much about her little brother. the reason she left was because she wanted to make a place for him and the rest of the people in the sanctuary in the outside world. garfiel was stuck inside the past, fearing the outside world for what happened to their mother. but when he finally faces his trial again, it's the memory of his sister that gives him the motivation to move forward.

similarly, in emilia's second trial, it's her conversation with archi that enables her to face the present for what it is. even though trial archi seemed to be pushing her towards the world of the trial itself, that's exactly what reinforces her will. with her memory of the real archi, she calls him "big brother" for the first time, and she thanks him for always being worried about her. the sad thing is, unlike all of the other sibling duos, archi has already been dead for a long time. but even then, like we saw in the first trial, he gave his life because he wanted emilia to keep moving forward.

and in otto's backstory too... he spent most of his childhood completely unable to interact with the world around him. the constant noise was too overwhelming, to the point that he couldn't actually hear anything else. he had no way to understand or communicate his feelings. and though his parents did their best to understand him, he was still stuck in this state. it wasn't until oslo decided to teach him how to write that he was finally able to express himself. despite the fact that it was harder for otto than other kids, he finally managed his first real message to his family, "thank you for everything." and with that, he cried for the first time since was born, and was able to move forward again.

even the antagonists this arc are siblings. meili and elsa dont get as much focus into their relationship as the others (not for this arc at least), but one very obvious development is that elsa has someone she cares about. elsa "bowl hunter" granhiert, a serial killer/assassin/vampire who takes great pleasure in watching people die, and tearing out their organs, has a person she cares about. this is a humanizing trait for her, and that's on purpose. loving meili literally makes her "more" human. someone that she's also willing to give up her life for. and later on, in arc 6, we see just how much elsa's death impacted meili and how she hasn't been able to move forward since that day.

this theme is even more noticeable in the negatives too. in rem and ram's case, who have already been set up as a matching set all the way back in arc 2. they're identical twins, they've loved each other literally since they were born. ram awoke her powers as a newborn just to save her crying sister. they share a deep and powerful bond. but... what the hell happens when that goes away? because rem had her name and memories eaten, ram forgets she ever had a sister. her character digresses, her entire world is now centered on roswaal, she's more devoted to him than she was before. without her sister, ram moves backwards.

and of course, there's the sibling duo that this entire season centers around- subaru and beatrice. i've talked before about how subaru's relationship with echidna and roswaal is like a foil for his relationship with his actual parents. subaru has been raised living in the shadow of his father, but his actual dad never once forced him into it- he encourages his son to stand on his own and be his own person. roswaal is the opposite, he corners subaru in an attempt to make him a mini roswaal. subaru's mother was always watched him closely, but never made his choices for him. echidna is the opposite, where she wants to manipulate and control subaru's every action to satiate her own goals and desires.

but echidna is also beatrice's actual mother, which places beatrice in the role of subaru's sister in his fucked up found family echidna had created. but beatrice and subaru were never forced together, they chose each other. beatrice was left alone in a library for 400 years, abandoned by her mother and left to wait for a person who would never truly come (who never truly existed). she has been stuck for so long, unable to break her chains. but the action that finally does free her from this stasis is when subaru asks her to choose him. the only way for them to escape this "family" and move forward was for them to choose each other.

#re:zero #i really do love all the sibling dynamics in rezero. i love how normal these all are too. low bar but still #its always relieving LOL #there are others too but im limiting this to arc 4 for rn #because thats where i feel this theme is the strongest #but there are things to be said about like. julius and joshua or even the gluttony siblings #even the triplets kinda? they dont have too much going on but their divine protection fits in thematically imo #also this isnt even touching the fact that garf and fred have two entire other half siblings #also thersia's backstory with her brothers... :( #also sorry for talking abt oslo and not regin for the suwan brothers lol. regin was little he did not do a whooole lot #theres also sort of stuff i can say abt the ryuzu clones and how theyre more or less sisters but like #theres not a whole lot to that one i think

[brittlebutch]

finding a character that grates against your nerves and eventually thinking, well, that's not fair, you haven't done anything; why do i dislike you? and then you dwell on this for a while and discover 'oh! you are like me when i was younger' and decide well, i'll simply learn how to love the both of you. power in this.

#N posts stuff #'what are you talking about?' fuck if i know. #but also i'm talking about penny from 'the 7' -- nosy little control freak determined to find Some foothold into Every conversation #it's interesting bc sometimes when i watch i'm like 'this character is played on the Border of metagaming' but the more i think abuot it #the less it Feels like metagaming bc penny Genuinely seems Exactly like the kind of person who just Is That Determined to be #some level of involved in Every situation; 'yeah i know that show you were in' 'Yeah i was listening into this scene from a different hall' #equal parts her being a Rogue character to her core AND her borderline pathological need for control in Every situation #w/ None of the social grace needed to temper this impulse into something more broadly 'palatable' -> very autistic to me in a way #'i don't Get It but if i'm Always Right then that's good bc it's Bad to be Wrong so i just have to Know Everything so that i'm Never Wrong' #or like 'no i don't understand the Rules right but if i can just Be In Charge of the Situation at all times then i'm the one domineering #where this is going and how it unfolds; like if i'm in charge i understand That at least so i will just Always be in charge' #and sometimes this starts fights with your friends and they call you a freak for it and you're like 'hm. i don't know what's going on #but if You said it and You Get People then you must be right so. i will alter this immediately' but penny doesn't have that interaction #because her friends are just like 'yeah i love you And that batshit way of interacting with the world that you embody' and there is a #temptation of sorts to be like 'penny you HAVE to stop that; you NEED to learn that lesson please' but then like. hm. does she? #much to think about. i don't interact w/ people enough anymore for this to impact my interactions with real people lol #but it Is interesting to peel apart a fictional character and find a Younger You in there. i can change how i think about Them at least

[gregoftom]

i’m speechless

#WELL. I MADE IT TO THE SCENE. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. #tomgreg #succession #i actually am speechless like i had to keep pausing and taking breaths. #WHO SAYS THIS. WHO. UNLESS ITS A LOVE CONFESSION??? IT FEELS LIKE A LOVE CONFESSION. #A SORT OF LAST HURRAH BEFORE HIS LIFE IS OVER???? TOM????????????????? LOOK AT ME #LOOK AT ME. THIS IS??? LIKE. MY LIFE IS OVER SO I MIGHT AS WELL CONFESS I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR GIANT ASS???? SPEAK UP #screaming crying shitting pissing throwing up shovelling sand into my mouth in the hopes i suffocate on it #and the fighting after. is it. is he. is this how he thinks love has to be??? like. he's used to fighting with shiv so now #he thinks that if he's in love they have to fight?? i have too much to say and talk about i really. ugh. #and when greg says he doesn't want to tom gets upset #like it's a rejection #i honestly hate this so much #COUNTRY BOYYYYYYY I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUEEEGUhgnrgv #AND THEN I DONT WANNA EITHER IT WAS A JOKE!!!!!!!!! yeah. uhuh okay. #ik the nero sporus stuff is wack BUT WHAT HAPPENS AFTER HELLO?????? HELLO. #but ''i'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat'' then do it pussy #sorry ik this is a novel in the tags but holy fuck. i gotta sit down seeya

[saintchaser]

"do we still love each other?" regulus asked, a bitter irony in the question, and he was pretty sure he knew the answer. they were sitting in the common room and dorcas was glaring at him, glaring at the skulled serpent on his arm, glaring at the boy she had grown to resent.

he remembered the person used to be, and how dorcas had comforted him during nights when neither of them could sleep. he remembered how she shared her cigarettes with him, and he remembered how he was drowning and she pulled him out, giving him her lungs so he could breathe.

he remembered the night in which they laid in his dorm and she told him all her secrets. she told him what she was planning to do after she graduated. she didn't want to fight but she would, she would fight if that meant that the generation after them would be safe, if that meant that they would have a better future, if that meant they would get to live, instead of just having to get through their mundane existence.

she had confided in him, and he was a traitor. the betrayal was etched in his arm, aching, black and of a deadly. regulus' future. did he want it? he didn't know; he wanted the glory, he wanted to be important, to be worthy of his name, but did he want to lose everything in order to achieve that.

"no," dorcas said, and there was a certain anger in her voice that the regulus had never seen before. "i stopped loving you the second i realized that you would never be a good person."

#this is sort of a display of regulus' grey morals because i do not believe he was a good person but i don't think he was bad either #and i'm having so many thoughts about this and i will write a post about how i see regulus #and i feel like the way i characterize certain characters doesn't match with the general fandom consensus #and i think that's why i'm a bit reluctant to post this kind of stuff #but if you want to hear how i see them feel free to drop a message because i like talking about characterization of these characters #because my views generally do not align with the fandom's #anyways!!! #regulus black #dorcas meadowes #dorcas&regulus #my writing #also did you see the kodaline reference? hehe #do we still love each other?

[lyxchen]

When you feel weird saying your favorite actors name out loud when talking to your parents or friends because it feels like it's going to reveal how deeply obsessed you actually are

#oh how often i have said to my parents #'it's a movie with that actor i like' #because i am afraid if i say 'david tennant' i will also add 'the prettiest most gorgeous funniest guy who is so lovely and if i met him i #would probably hyperventilate and i think about him probably too much because he's just an actor but also Look At Him!!' #you know #normal fangirl stuff #i have a theory that this is either some sort of weird ocd thing deep inside of me like how for a few months i was very afraid that people #could hear my thoughts and so i never allowed myself to think strange or very personal things with many people around #or this is because other people have made me feel like i can't talk about my interests because they're so intense that they find them #annoying #or it's because i don't want my parents to think i have a crush on him because i don't and also i'm gay so like no crush potential this is #completely different emotion which i can't explain especially not my parents so i'd rather they not find out how cool i think he is #but also they probaly know because they got me 10th doctor merch for christmas without me even asking for it and my mom also said that #she noticed that he's my favorite actor which is fine it's toatally fine i'm so cool about this #any so yeah anyways #didn't think i'd analize myself that much tonight but here we are #david tennant you have to honor of recieving the title of 'that one actor i like' which is much more important than it might sound #good night #lea's random thoughts

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Ok well now I do have a follow up idea for that last bthb

#itd be bobby wanting to reach out to his brother and dad and being scared to do so and talking to eddie about it #while buck and eddie are getting engaged and planning their wedding #hed talk to his brother first which wouldn't go well but eventually the brother would let him talk to his dad #which would go better #and bobbys like fuck why did i decide to do this now in the middle of all this happy stuff going on #and eddies like i dunno man its probably nice to have the happy stuff to fall back on? #we're all here for you. we all love you. im glad youre in my life. im glad you're going to be sort of my father in law now? #then he gets to watch his kid get married and probably cries a lot. but good crying maybe. #he said he'd send along pictures to his dad. he thinks he got some good ones.

[fanvoidkeith]

*changes your DNA to make you cooler*

#void keith talks #shitposting #anyways yes i did watch mary and the witch's flower recently. it was really good #movie stuff (sort of) #movie stuff #game stuff #i was playing flight rising and thinking about gen(e)ing my dragons when i thought of this post so. yes it IS game stuff to ME. lmao #^adding onto this- my buddy reminded me that BNA (brand new animal) exists. and it's AWESOME. i love anime #anime stuff (sort of) #anime stuff

[icewindandboringhorror]

Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!

#cats #also hopefully it's not weird to still post photos of George (the brown cat) even after his death a little while ago. I just have so many #beautiful old pictures of him that I still love but just never had the time to sort through or upload (my cat photos folder on my #computer had like 450 pictures in it or something lol... SO many). I feel like it's kind of just honoring or appreciating him #and not actually strange or anything. like what am I supposed to do. delete them?? I want to share them still because he is beautiful and #perfect ! idk. aNYWAY. Also this is their 2022 birthday when they turned 14 years old. (even though I think when I posted #their 2021 bday I might have said they were 14 then too. I was off by a year lol). 2023 when they turned 15 I unfortunately #was feeling kind of sick at the time and didn't really have the energy to do the decorations like I usually do. So they just got a few #treats and stuff. But I didn't know that would be george's last birthday lol. :/ #They also do not really know or care though. they're cats who cannot process it or know the concept of birthdays so. eh #I still have no idea how these got lost on the computer though. Like I had them fully edited ready to post but just sitting in a folder?? #Since MARCH 2022 lol... ??? the folder was in another folder of pictures so maybe that's how I overlooked it #But it's my 'once every 4 months computer organizing and clean out time' so I was going tghrough looking for pictures #I could drafts posts out of or sort or etc. #They got lots more treats for this birthday because one of my friends actually game me a few gifts for them #elderly boys.!!!! #I used to write in the little caption/image description sections to talk about them all individually but at some point tumblr broke that #feature and for so long they never saved or weren't visible so I stopped doing them and just ramble a bunch in the tags instead #but I kind of miss them. Thinking about old posts of the cats where I commented on each photo individually too lol.. the good ole days

[bloody-wonder]

assuming you've read tsc, what are ur thoughts?

mixed feelings, anon!

on the one hand, tsc is just another confirmation that nora is a talented writer - i think the dialogue especially is where she really excels. the reading experience was overall very fun, i did enjoy seeing my faves again. neil is an icon, obviously. the culture clash between jean and the trojans was Comedy Gold. and it was interesting to see an exploration of a different trauma response than we've seen in aftg in jean.

on the other hand, i feel like jean's story in tsc mirrors neil's story in aftg - a troubled youth joins an exy team where he will make new friends and get better mentally - but is like. a simplified and less compelling version of that. it's good that jean is his own character, i don't need him to be a copy of neil, but i gotta say - neil's cameo appearances totally stole the show and made me wonder why i wasn't reading a book about him instead. however, it's all the other characters who were the real problem - it felt like i'm reading a version of aftg where a less fun iteration of neil joins an exy team consisting just of the upperclassmen and nicky hemmick which uhhh,, if you've read some of my old posts you know how i feel about him so there was no chance in hell i'd like cat alvarez and her whole shtick. the foxes felt good for the soul bc there was a balance between the upperclassmen's and the monsters' type of care for neil - and crucially neil chose the latter group to be his close circle, among other things, bc he felt they could understand him better. by constrast, jean is alone with the trojans who don't give any credibility to his claims that they just can't understand what he went through, don't respect his right to keep his trauma private and just keep trying to force his "recovery". aftg felt like a bunch of freaks with various but equally fascinating issues put in close quarters and you watch them sometimes butt heads, sometimes uplift each other in the most unexpected ways. tsc however felt like a bunch of normies bullying a traumatized kid - so basically one of those obnoxious fics where the upperclassmen are all in neil and andrew's business.

jean's bisexuality was a double-edged sword too: on the one hand, i felt very smug reading about how his attraction works bc 1) it's so obviously different from neil and 2) wow turns out years of psychological, physical and sexual abuse do not in fact take away your sexuality! le gasp! surprised fucking pikachu!! crazy how through all of this jean is still bi. the human spirit is unbreakable. (unless your mom hits you for kissing a girl, then it's breakable). so i did feel vindicated but at the same time this was not relatable to the point that i can't see myself getting invested in jean and jeremy's developing relationship. nothing is more of a turn off for me in fictional romances than when both of them are immediately attracted to each other and let the reader know in no uncertain terms. where are the mind games? where are the intricate rituals? it feels like a lazy shortcut. but good for them, i guess?

sooo idk. i didn't hate tsc by any means but i'm sad i didn't enjoy it as much as my mutuals😭

#book tag #aftg ask #aftg mine #i'm very happy for everyone who loved the book and is having fun with it rn #but ngl it felt good to go on goodreads and read some 3 star reviews #i myself gave it 4 bc neil's scenes elevated it for me #i mean that one line where he says to the fbi the trojans fucked jean's face up #bc he's french and so naturally makes people want to punch him is alone worth a million stars😂 #but all of this to say if you didn't like the book you can totally talk to me about it #i like feeling not alone in my unpopular opinions #alsoooo i'm sort of afraid of the phenomenon where there's a continuation to some beloved media #and people start claiming it's better than the original #if i see stuff like that about aftg and tsc i'm blocking on sight lol