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#i love nonlinear storytelling too this is perfect
inpursuitofnunchi · 9 months
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I'm still on the Lee Do Hyun obsession train and i just finished The Glory. And oooof, What. A. Ride.
I think i have a thing for watching good people do bad things. And i love sweet puppy faces indulging in absolutely unhinged sociopathic behaviour (looking at you Yeo jeong).
This show had such a crisp and gripping storyline, there were very few dull moments. The nonlinear storytelling really worked in its favour, snippets of the past revealed at perfect moments. Even though it's a dark, disturbing revenge drama, there were SO MANY character dynamics that had my heart:
1. The OTP of course, Dong eun and yeo Jeong. They were what looks like the grim reaper x golden retriever trope on the surface but both hurting victims of violence underneath. It is slowly revealed why they're fated to be in each other's orbit, but even in the process of the unraveling, it is believable. I love them together, i love how silently unhinged they are, i love how they love each other and i love how they get to end up together, happy in each other's company, able to confess their feelings.
2. Imo-nim and Dong eun: their relationship made me cry. They both made each other so happy and although it was meant to be just a professional relationship, it was truly so much more. It was a kind of sisterhood that dong eun had never had in life, perpetually betrayed. It made me so happy that her daughter got out and i hope that someday she gets to go the US and be with her daughter and have the lovely dinner she always dreamt of.
3. Do yeong and Dong eun: ooooof, these two. SO. MUCH. CHEMISTRY. simply over a game of Baduk?? These two were impossible. Yeo jeong was right to be jealous/insecure coz the daddy energy in this dude was off the charts. I think dong eun unlocked something in do yeong that he didn't know existed and once he acknowledged it he found his lie of a happy life disintegrate like a house of cards. Doesn't help that he was married to an actual psychopath, evil incarnate, pathological liar who would leave no stone unturned to protect her ass.
4. And finally do yeong and ye sol: the best dad-daughter relationship ever. The little girl was too cute and i was surprised she wasn't insufferable thanks to her mom. She had more of a moral compass/spine than the entire group of bullies and their families put together. Glad to see her to fly out of the dumpster fire, hand in hand with her appa, shining that bedazzling smile. 💃
What a great show, overall. The villains were truly hate-worthy and it made my heart full to see their ends. Each one of them was insufferable, and glad they got what they deserved. The good people gave you hope in this otherwise dreary plot and they got happy endings! So much yes for that! This show is a win for everyone involved and especially for Song Hye kyo who had not really impressed me with her acting until now. She did a fantastic job as dong eun and i hope she continues to do challenging roles in the future!
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dramaism · 2 years
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re your tags on your year in review, what are your favourite dramas and sets of this year? ♡
hi, dear anonnie! sorry for the long answer tumblr somehow messed up my notifications again (i swear i'm gonna throw up this app out of the window someday....). i put everything under the cut because it's long
about the dramas - hometown cha cha cha and doom at your service are both on the list of my faves. but the true beauty wasn't my favorite this year.
if we're talking about my most loved dramas of 2021 - here's the list (it is particular order): 1. happiness 11/10 - perfect from head to toe, zombies, fake marriage, powerful main leads, the true meaning of humanity and, well, happiness 1. beyond evil 11/10 - again perfect from head to toe, spider-man meme, extremely gorgeous bromance, the crime show when you cry not because of the crimes but because of the human relationships, very suspenseful you're on the edge of your seat every minute 3. run on 10/10 - the life as it is, absolutely amazing main leads, this drama encourages you, tells you that being different is okay and shows you what friendship and love should be like 4. hometown cha cha cha 9/10 - gongjin found family, tells you to not struggle alone and to show your feelings, very heartwarming it's like a cup of the very hot tea in the middle of the winter, healthy relationships, healthy second lead in the love triangle, make you feel good 5. bad buddy 9/10 (only because it's not finished yet and i'm scared they will mess up everything. it's too good to be true tbh) - it's thai, might be the best bl drama in the world, perfect amazing flawless chemistry, natural personalities and feelings, not that unusual plot but the crew created something magical out of it, your casual enemies to lovers kind of thing with a lot of teasing and bickering and competitions (dudes that love each other literally compete on who's gonna confess first.......) 6. vincenzo 8/10 - HONG CHA YOUNG SUPREMACY (khm, sorry), your casual scary italian mafia lawyer who's actually smitten because of one quirky korean lawyer, corn salad gang, a lot of big brain moments, really good story but i deducted 2 points because it was too long for me and because they killed the himbo (how dare they...) aka the cutest character in the show 7. law school 8/10 - this is really something else, university drama but the plot is mostly about several cases, nonlinear storytelling, very suspenseful, very hot very clever professor, heart eyes main lead badass but confused female lead - we were freindzoned here (never forget never forgive), found family of group of classmates, deducted 2 points because of that friendzone and a little bit rushed ending 8. the devil judge 7/10 - your casual au where the world is very cruel, THE BROMANCE, again big brain moments, the law and the fairness at their best implied by one man and one man only, a little bit flirty and full of emotions, never forgive this show for how they threated the women and kim ga on -3 points 9. the uncanny counter 7/10 (technically it ended in 2021) - found family, amazing super powers, makes you cry makes you laugh makes you think about life, grim reapers but not really, deducted 3 points because of the writing - it was very slow in the middle of the drama, thanks god they changed the writer 10. doom at your service 6/10 - main couple is 10/10 anything else is not really that good, fantasy drama with the god of the doom and ordinary girl, very romantic with amazing chemistry, BICKERING, a little bit cliché with an ordinary ending but still good
as you can see i still can't decide which of two top dramas i should put on the first place. also this list is based solely on my feelings towards dramas because they're all very different and it's impossible to decide for sure which one is better than the other.
sadly hospital playlist 2 is not on the list because this season just didn't clicked well with me and it came to the point that i was watching only because of one couple.
and about gifsets. this year i have enjoyed making funny compilations and characters sets the most. here's my favs per dramas:
happiness (but really love all the sets) - emojies! (probably my fav set ever), noona set, yi hyun to the rescue set run on - this letterbox review set (perfect from head to toe), characters set with very cool fonts (i'm proud of it), funniest sh*t ever, blending turned right for one time and one time only vincenzo - all my hong cha young sets - one, two, three, this one compilation set, parallels!, the man who loves quirkiness the most law school - we were robbed of their future careers set (again flawless), this lyrics set! (the best of the best the love of my life), funny sets with emojis - one and two doom at your service (oh boy i've made over 60 sets wait a minute) - bickering at its best (i made a lot of it but this one is my favorite among them), a special place set, i want to live dialogue (i'm proud of it), #married, fav episode set of them, very simple very domestic set nevertheless - simply second couple sets - one and two hospital playlist 2 - this friendship goals set, ik jun making song hwa laugh set, this flawless compilation set the devil judge - be parallel set (well.... again one of my most fav sets of the year), yo han's soft spot, just this dialogue set, defending ga on hometown cha cha cha (i now realized that i really love all the sets here) - drank hye jin set (cuuuute), this compilation set (this is the only one that is on my wrapped), their backs set, #whipped, parents' day set, bickering! bad buddy - this quote set (i finally come up with my usual style for the sets like that) special mention - this the day of becoming you set (excuse me??? best confession scene ever!)
and to narrow it done just to 10 sets (which was very hard): 1. happiness with emojies! 2. run on characters set with very cool fonts 3. vinchenzo hong cha young set number two 4. law school this lyrics set! 5. days bickering at its best 6. hospital playlist 2 this flawless compilation set 7. the devil judge be parallel set 8. law school we were robbed of their future careers set 9. hometown cha cha cha drank hye jin set 10. this the day of becoming you set (no particular order of course)
i believe that you surely won't read for that long, but if you did then thank you so much!
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stillusesapencil · 5 years
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Newsies! Fic Recs
Because there’s some real good stuff out there, and it deserves some love.
ships represented on this list: javid, jackcrutchie, jatherine, newsbians, sprace, ralbert, spavey, billdarcy.
First, my top five newsies fics, which was really hard to narrow down.
their mistake is they got old by PenzyRome / @penzyroamin 
holy crap, you guys, this one is breathtakingly beautiful and poetic. Davey and Katherine have a marriage of convenience because they’re both gay, and the story goes from there and it’s amazing. Awe-inspiring. If I ever stop gushing about this fic, I’m probably dead. Javid & Newsbians, One-shot, T.
Let’s See Where This Leads by shipNslash
Out with gays hiding relationship for angst, in with hiding for humor! This is genuinely one of the sweetest and funniest fics I’ve ever read. The characterization is spot-on, and I especially love the Jacobs family. Javid, Newsbians, Sprace, One-shot, T.
The End Page is Where you Write in the Rest by anglophileprussian
After I read this one, I kept thinking about it, which is proof of a good fic. Told sort of nonlinear, in little snippets. Jack Kelly’s flaws, as seen by those who love him. sortakinda javid, jatherine, and jackcrutchie, One-shot, unrated.
Stare Down the Odds, May they be in your Favor by ArtemisRayne
A Newsies hunger games au. I stayed up late reading this one. I cried. I reread it and cried again. It’s every bit as painful but also as wonderful as you’d expect it to be. The author is working on the whole series, and I’m sure they’ll all be as excellent as the first. (and if you’re worried about too many of our boys dying, don’t be.) Javid, 7/7 chapters, M.
Mountain Ridge Camp for Boys by timetogoslumming / @timetogoslumming
I love a good summer camp au, and this one combines the canon plot with a modern summer camp setting very nicely. Another one I’ve reread. Sometimes sweet, sometimes hilarious, sometimes a little angsty, and wholly enjoyable. Highly accurate depictions of summer camp life. There’s a sequel, which is also worth reading! Javid & Sprace, 22/22, T.
Putting the rest under a cut because holy crap this got long:
Javid
blue moon by illinoise / @livingchancy
I usually am not into kid fic but holy shit this one got me. Perfectly sweet and angsty by turns, and I guarantee Luna will steal your heart. One of the best and most accurately-written child characters I’ve ever read. Modern au, 16/16, T. 
it all comes back to you by scarlettroses / @thefactsofthematter
Commonly referred to as “the cake fic,” Davey and Jack pretend to to be engaged to get free cake, and well...things just happen from there. Hilarious, perfect pining. Background Newsbians and Sprace. Modern au, 13/13, T.
if it’s small enough to carry, you can I can call it home by swimthewholeriogrande
A small look at Jack’s empty life, suddenly filled by Davey. Canon, poetic, so sweet it makes me tear up. One-shot, unrated.
Jatherine
there’s no business like show business by eponnia
Katherine is an actress trying to escape her father’s shadow; Jack is her costar. Funny and cute, delightfully entertaining. Modern au, One-shot, T. 
Nothing Happens if you Just Give in by RealLifeKatherinePlumber
Jack goes missing after the strike, and Katherine does everything in her power to find him. Riveting with excellent background newsies being awesome. Canon, 19/19, T.
Scars by tupenny
Journalism student Katherine gets to know Jack by asking for the stories behind his scars. This one’s really good, y’all. College au, 15/15, T.
Heart on the Trigger by WritingToKeepMySanity
In a world where the strike never happened, Jack joins one of the most dangerous mobs in New York. His latest mission? Katherine. An angsty thriller. 13/13, T.
JackCrutchie
Your Orbit by Ailendolin / @ailendolin 
Little bit of canon angst, centered around Jack’s absence with new friends (but really he’s planning a surprise.) I smile every time I read the ending. 3/3, T.
Kings of New York by mattygroves
In the future, Jack and Crutchie have an apartment, and Jack is having feelings. Starts Jatherine. Supportive mom Medda. An easy sort of falling in love. One-shot, G.
Falling For You by byrd_the_amazin / @muckcty-mucks
Every fic rec list needs a classic, classy, coffee shop au. Crutchie writes pick-up lines on Jack’s cup. One-shot, unrated.
turning night right into day (orphaned work)
Have some canon mutual pining, wrapped up in a sweet coming out fic. One-shot, G.
Sprace
The Beast of Brooklyn by ArtemisRayne
A beauty and the beast/mafia/magic au. There’s magic and high stakes and dancer Race and it’s really, really good. Another one I stayed up late for. Background Javid. Almost made it into my top 5! Modern au, 26/26, M.
Let it Ride by snark_sniper
Five times Spot kissed Race under the mistletoe, one time Race kissed Spot. Quiet pining is probably my favorite thing ever. Canon, one-shot, G. 
Ralbert
On the subject of sea turtles by datetheplants
This is so soft. Race is a cinema student, Albert is biology. This is all quiet pining, and even the ending is quiet, too. Lots of love for this one, probably my favorite ralbert fic. One-shot, unrated.
Home by Ailendolin
Some Christmas angst for boys who care a lot. Albert’s home life is sad, but Race is a good, good friend. Canon, One-shot, T.
I like me better when I’m with you by buckydarling
Race is moving to Italy, and Albert doesn’t want him to go. This one hurts, but in a really good way. Don’t worry, it ends well. Modern au, One-shot, G.
everyone just wants to be in love by galaxygal
Albert and Race are dumbasses in love. This is the silly and adorable kind of mutual pining. Featuring adorable married!Javid and good bro Elmer. One-shot, E (and if smut is not your thing, it’s p minor and can be skipped).
Newsbians
Hearts as big as the world we inherit by PenzyRome
DO YOU WANT DIVERSE WLW? SIT DOWN, Y’ALL, BECAUSE PENZY WROTE SOME. Ok, I’m done yelling now. But seriously, well-written, cute, perfect amount of heartache. One-shot, G.
Slieght of Hand by illinoise
Sarah is a magician, Katherine falls for her immediately. Summer wlw, hilarious and sweet by turns. Background characters add beautifully to the atmosphere and plot. 12/12, T. Another contender for top 5!
the stars we steal from the night sky by Indigo_Penstrokes
Sarah is a musician with feelings, and she really loves Katherine. Touching and beautiful. Modern au, One-shot, G.
The Gal Pal Chronicles (Or: Hand-Holding and Pining for Dummies) by byrd_the_amazin
Sarah and Katherine fake date for an event to piss off her father. They are both the epitome of disaster oblivious lesbians pining and it’s FANTASTIC. One-shot, T.
Spavey
Paper boys by therudestflower
This one has me hooked. Davey ends up working a paper route with Spot in the 90s. Stayed up late to read it. Made me laugh out loud. Unique kind of storytelling through lists. 4/5, T.
(if it was) anyone but you by PenzyRome
Ah, Penzy delivers (again) some good, steady, relationship building. I think this was the fic that made me go, “ah, yes, this ship makes sense.” Canon, One-shot, T.
BillDarcy
how ‘bout a change of scene and now I’m learning what is true (that love will do what it does) by darcyreid
I couldn’t decide between these two. Both are really good, canon-era stories about Darcy falling in love with Bill and making their way in the world. Funny and heartfelt by turns. Both are one-shots rated T.
Prepress by GalaxyGazing
Darcy and Bill, before and during the strike. A little angsty, a lot sweet. One-shot, T.
And I won’t pass up a chance to plug my own shit:
Canon Jack-centric one shot, angsty future fic. Jatherine & Javid, One-shot, T.
Ralbert canon angst four-chap, M. (now linked!)
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wigwurq · 5 years
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WIG REVIEW: FOSSE/VERDON
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Are you ready for another prestige limited series from FX? Do you like the legitimate THE-A-TRE? Can you do jazz hands upon request? Well then Fosse/Verdon might be for you. MAYBE.
But what about the wigs? Let’s discuss. As this an eight episode series, I will be updating this post weekly and adjusting whether or not the wigs do or do not wurq. Spoilers, obvs.
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So this show is about legendary director/choreographer Bob Fosse and his wife/Broadway legend, Gwen Verdon. If you have never heard of either, I suggest that you stop reading because this show is definitely not for you. Sorry? Produced by Lin-Manuel Miranda and directed by Hamilton’s Thomas Kail, this show is made ONLY for theater megageeks and basically no one else. As a former drama club president who definitely got Joel Grey’s autograph after seeing the original Broadway revival cast of Chicago, I thought I fit that bill but after watching this thing, I don’t even know that I qualify. My husband, who spent most of the episode asking questions until finally just deeming the whole thing “boring” was absolutely not the key demographic and yes he went into this knowing who these two people are and has seen several musicals. Similar limited series focusing on very specific pop culture such as Feud: Bette and Joan did a much better job catering to the uninitiated. 
EPISODE ONE: LIFE IS A CABARET
We begin at the end, then go straight to the middle, which is: a choice. We first see Sam Rockwell in old man makeup (sorry - I could find no images of this to share) and then backtrack. Much of this episode is focused on Fosse’s transition from choreographer to film director. This is when Fosse had already lost much of his hair and had a bad combover and Rockwell is given this wig that is giving me Ed Harris circa 1998 feels and like all bad man wigs, looks terrible from the back.
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We are then plunged straight into production for the film version of Sweet Charity without any explanation of anything other than the fact that (duh) he’s directing the iconic Big Spender number. But wait - there’s a twist! Turns out Michelle Williams as Gwen Verdon did a lot of the directing! DUN DUN DUN. I am all for giving ladies their propers and approaching narratives as if they are Glenn Close’s The Wife character but this does not change the fact that this red Marilyn Monroe wig is not very good. 
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This is all very Theatre-y with a capital T and an ending in RE NOT ER. Everything has a Theatre quality to it - but not in that Tony winning Hamilton way, more in that Emmy winning Grease: Live! way (Kail directed both) which is to say that there is no immediacy or intimacy to anything - all the characters feel like they are far away, performing on a stage - and it leaves the viewer feeling empty and, well, bored. TV and stage are just not the same! Oh, and Fosse just found out that movies and stage are not the same because Sweet Charity was a big flop! Look at how sad they are in their gorgeous apartment and terrible, bent wigs with backs that jut out from their necks! THE HORROR!
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So then Paul Reiser shows up. He is fine and I’m glad he’s getting work and he’s thankfully not wearing a wig! When a new character shows up in this show, you spend the first five minutes or so trying to figure out who they are supposed to be playing, like an IMDb charades game since no one explains who they are and simply give vague context clues. At first, I thought he was Neil Simon, then he mentioned making a movie with homosexuals and Nazis so I was like: DEFINITELY MEL BROOKS but it turns out it he is Cabaret producer Cy Feuer. You, know - CY FEUER? You don’t?? WELL WE’RE NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU WE ARE FOSSE/VERDON.
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Aaaaanyway, Fosse gets the job of directing Cabaret and goes to Munich and meets Liza Minnelli who in this tv reality looks like this which is not how Liza Minnelli ever looked. AND THIS WIG. AT LEAST GIVE LIZA A GOOD WIG NOT ONE YOU FOUND AT RICKY’S. NEXT.
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Then Paul Reiser gives Sam Rockwell a lot of guff about taking too long to direct things and not deciding about costumes and hiring ugly German prostitutes to be extras yet somehow allows him to wear these really ugly shoes. Throughout, Rockwell’s wig is a mess of a tumbleweave, not unlike this show. And then Michelle Williams shows up to save his ass like all capable ladies ever and even goes to buy a gorilla suit in NYC only to arrive back in Munich where Rockwell is boning some German translator who looks way too much like Ann Reinking. There’s also a lot of nonlinear theatrical vignettes into Fosse’s past that play like, well, All That Jazz. Which this is not. 
In the end, we go back to old man Fosse, and it is told to us that he has only EIGHT MORE MINUTES TO LIVE. Kudos to the production team for somehow trying to turn  Bob Fosse’s 1987 death into a thriller. Spoiler: it’s not.
EPISODE TWO: WHO’S GOT THE PAIN?
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We (obvs?) begin in Majorca, where 70s-era Fosse and Verdon have gone to patch up their marriage. Also can you think of a more bougie place to go in the 70s to patch up your fancy marriage? There are a lot of scenes on the beach where Sam Rockwell’s 90s Ed Harris wig gets blown around and Michelle Williams cries into a cardigan. And because misery loves company, apparently their best friends, the Neil Simons, are along for the ride. Joan Simon is Gwenny’s best gal pal and her wig is something one might find in a pile of Halloween wigs to play Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.
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We then travel back to 1955, or “267 since Gwen Verdon’s first Tony Award.” Yes, this show is still doing this insufferable titling which really is a lot of fun facts that add up to nothing. Regardless, we’re at the point where Verdon and Fosse meet as he “auditions” her for Damn Yankees which he is to choreograph. I have to say that this scene, with both actors dancing and wearing much better wigs than their characters wear in the 70s (still terrible though!) was pretty fun! They can dance! 
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They also obvs fall very much in love, though weirdly the scene of them actually having sex for the first time is buried in a montage. You have very odd priorities, Fosse/Verdon! Complicating matters is Gwen’s perpetually bent wig, Fosse’s kind of ok in comparison wig, and oh and the fact that he’s married!
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This show not only wants but DEMANDS that you wikipedia everything that is happening, mainly from its distinct lack of good storytelling. Anyway, Fosse’s 2nd wife was Joan McCracken and OMG CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A PRESTIGE TV SHOW ABOUT HER? Wiki tells me that her first husband ended up being Truman Capote’s lover and that Capote based the character of Holly Golightly on her and seriously why are we wasting our time on this Fosse/Verdon mess when we could be learning more about her?!?! Anyway, what the show does tell us is that she has a mysterious illness that makes her sometimes not be able to walk (Wiki explained that she had some heart attacks around this time). Also, she is no fool and fully realizes that Fosse is gonna leave her fabulous ass for Gwenny - just the way he left his first wife for her! Also please look at Sam’s terrible lace front here. Also Joan’s wig is very much Joan Allen in Pleasantville which is to say: the best wig on this show. 
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Anyway, the rest of the episode is devoted to working out some musical kinks in Damn Yankees and watching Michelle Williams dance around in a bad wig. Oh, and then finally leave Fosse in Majorca when she realizes he’s about to leave HER fabulous ass for some German translator (I’m sensing a theme here). And the show ends trying to make Joan McCracken’s death into a thriller! Spoiler: Wikipedia tells me she died in 1961! Wikipedia is a much better show than this, also. 
EPISODE THREE: ME AND MY BABY
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We begin in some random editing suite where Fosse has gone to begin editing Cabaret and because this show cannot and will not stop trying to be All that Jazz (which I rewatched this weekend and LORDT IS THIS SHOW TRYING TO BE THAT MOVIE - AND ALSO BOTH ARE GARBAGE!) there is an elaborate dance number with random editing assistant (?) ladies. The one good part of this is: Sam Rockwell dancing. Otherwise: garbage fire.
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Speaking of garbage fires, the (4 hour!) rough edit of Cabaret that the editors put together for Fosse while he was in Majorca (which he was really pissed about because HOW DARE THEY DO THEIR JOBS) is a friggin mess. Speaking of messes, THE BACK OF THIS WIG. Is Fosse a monk? What is happening here? However, I do appreciate the casting of the dude who played SpongeBob on Broadway as Joel Grey. 
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Back at Casa Verdon, where Fosse DOES NOT LIVE ANYMORE, Gwenny is making dinner and trying to get her own career back together when Fosse shows up unannounced with Chinese food and pleas for Gwenny to help him edit the mess that is Cabaret. RUDE! Gwenny and her bent wig have their own dinner dates with her agent, Peter Scolari at the Russian Tea Room to get to THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 
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Thus, Gwenny leaves their daughter with Fosse and his epic combover at the editing suite to go to her dinner date and HE CAN’T EVEN HANDLE being with his tween daughter for a few hours (since he definitely has to make time to bone his editing assistant) and ropes Norbert Leo Butz in a very shaggy wig to come hang out with his kid in a hotel room. Gwenny is NOT HAVING IT. 
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Even though Butz basically just ate a bunch of sloppy food and made the daughter watch a b horror movie, Gwenny points out that leaving a tweenage daughter with a random dude in a hotel room is INAPPROPRIATE EVEN IF THAT DUDE WROTE MARTY WHICH IS A PERFECT MOVIE. 
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This makes her reflect on her own (somehow very Magdalene-Sisters-like) tweenage years (as played by a younger actress whose image could NOT be found on the internet, gurl) when she was raped and impregnated and then slut-shamed by her parents into marrying a much older alcoholic. YIKES. 
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So back in the 70s,  despite the fact that she’s in some rando straight play called Children! Children! (yes really) which is being directed by a condescending asshole and taking care of her kid, she somehow finds time to go help her estranged idiot husband edit the movie that she basically co-directed. SERIOUSLY WOMEN HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING. Also all these wigs look like crap. Just when you think Fosse is maybe being redeemable, he decides to bring up the Gwenny’s illegitimate son AT THE VERY WORST MOMENT DUDE YOU ARE THE WORST.
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Back with Young Gwenny, we see her giving her infant son to her parents to raise so she can go be a dancer. We then cut to her triumphant turn in Can-Can (some years later but Fosse/Verdon definitely doesn’t specify how many). Gwenny’s show might be a triumph, but her wig is still a mess. Oh, and she’s still haunted by the cries of the baby she gave up BECAUSE WOMEN CAN NEVER FULLY HAVE NICE THINGS.
EPISODE FOUR: GLORY
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We begin at Cabaret. Isn’t life one, you guys? Fosse is all poised for this to be the flop that (apparently?) Sweet Charity was but nope: it’s a big huge critical and commercial hit! Do whatever you want, now, Fosse! Oh wait, you already do everything you want anyway? Cool! Fosse and his circa 1997 Ed Harris wig are now unstoppably arrogant! Get ready! So Fosse’s next project is the medieval/psychedelic nonsense musical, Pippin which will definitely give you contact highs. 
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JUST LOOK AT HOW HIGH THIS MUSICAL IS. I think when people from the Mid Waste think of Broadway musicals, this is what most of them still think that looks like. Also this is how I fear I’ll die. 
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Speaking of! Gwenny’s best galpal, Joan Simon (wife to Neil) is dying of cancer! It’s very sad because she’s really nice and despite her bad Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction wig I appreciate her dedication to half updos with bows that match her outfits. 
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Gwenny does not even have time to be sad about this because she needs to take her bent wig over to Pippin rehearsals to pick up her daughter only to find that Fosse has given her FOUR TABS TO DRINK THAT IS LIKE 3 1/2 TOO MANY. She handles it by smiling through her hatred and truly this was a very Miranda Priestly moment and also I like Gwen’s top. ALSO LOOK AT THE BACK OF FOSSE’S WIG NO THANK YOU PLEASE.
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Over at Pippin rehearsals, we also meet Ann Reinking (who will become Fosse’s lady love for the next decade or so) but for now she’s keeping things professional and also this is Andie MacDowell’s (wigless, thank god) daughter. Ok!
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Fosse is definitely NOT keeping things professional and basically boning the rest of the Pippin ensemble cast, whether they like it or not! There is a very #MeToo moment where Fosse ends up getting a knee to the groin and GOOD.
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Not so good? Gwenny’s play Children! Children! (that title - I still can’t). Despite asking Fosse to come over and FIX. IT. he is too busy becoming the poster dude for Time’s Up and Gwenny’s show ends up getting bad reviews and closing immediately. Also her wig is fully turning into a Jean Stapleton in All in the Family lewk. Whilst Gwenny’s professional life is going to crap, Fosse is winning ALL THE AWARDS as shown in a really confusing montage which suggested that the Tony Awards are before the Oscars. INCORRECT.
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In the end, Fosse drunkenly tries to go bone Gwenny but she has wisely shacked up with that dude from Obvious Child which literally leads Fosse into a MENTAL INSTITUTION and the entire show to basically just turn into All that Jazz which I will remind everyone is a very derivative and terrible movie! OY.
EPISODE 5: WHERE AM I GOING?
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The title of this episode should really be an question for the viewer: where are you going? Where are we all going? Are we still really watching this show? Sadly: yes. UGH I think we’re more than halfway through now? Let’s just finish this thing!
We begin at the mental hospital where Fosse ended the last episode. Gwenny and their kid are visiting him and Fosse is basically catatonic. This does not stop Gwenny from moving FULL STEAM AHEAD ON CHICAGO! Then cut to: Southampton? Huh? Sure! There, Fosse and his best bros, Neil Simon and Paddy Chayefsky are having a beach weekend which leads to the above upsetting 70s mens shorts (which thankfully Norbert Leo Butz did NOT sign on for). I love dudes who refuse to wear shorts in the summer, no matter how hot it is. My husband is one of these dudes. 
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The one problem with this beach weekend? Everybody together in their best impression of Renee Zellweger in Cold Mountain: IT’S RAINING! So everyone is stuck inside. And also it’s kind of a Big Chill sort of scenario except the role of Kevin Costner as the dead friend is now: Joan Simon. And also Fosse just got out of a mental institution 3 months ago. And he’s there with his girlfriend and Gwenny is there with her boyfriend. AND ALL THE WIGS ARE TERRIBLE. 
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So Fosse’s girlfriend: Ann Reinking! When last we saw her, she was ignoring Fosse at Pippin rehearsals but it’s explained that after his (1 week!) stay in the looney bin, he gave her a ring and now they’re in LURRRVE. Ok? Andie MacDowell’s daughter plays Annie and she doesn’t wear a wig and she’s fine. Fosse’s circa 1997 Ed Harris wig is still very upsetting. As is his tan!
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Also upsetting? Gwenny rolls up with this RAT TAIL (it’s hard to see in this pic but it’s the best I could do!) We’re supposed to believe that in the last 3 months she suddenly grew this monstrosity out?!?! MORE ON THE BONE CHILLING TRUTH ABOUT THIS RAT TAIL LATER.
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Gwenny also has a really nice boyfriend named Ron. He is played by that guy who played a nice guy in The Office, Obvious Child, and Girls. He doesn’t wear a wig and he is very nice! Fosse’s combover is not! 
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Oh also along for the ride is Fosse/Verdon’s daughter Nicole who is definitely too young to be dealing with all these effed up grownups and also is bored and ends up giving herself a cigarette/pickle-induced stomach virus. GET IT TOGETHER, PARENTS.
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Most of the episode is about whether Fosse should direct Dustin Hoffman in Lenny or proceed with Gwenny’s vanity project, Chicago, despite the fact that his doctors told him to take a year off work from either! Spoiler to anyone who has never seen All that Jazz or who does not know enough about Fosse to even bother watching this: HE DOES BOTH! WHO IS THIS SHOW EVEN FOR?!?! Also Norbert Leo Butz’s man wig is not as bad as the rest. Great work on not wearing shorts again also! Also Fosse/Verdon bone again in secret even though they are married but have lovers. The 70s! 
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 And now to the critical and bone-chilling facts about Gwenny’s rat tail! After a night of drinking and making terrible professional and personal choices, Gwenny sits down to a breakfast of coffee and one single piece of fruit and then....UNCLIPS HER RAT TAIL AND POUFS IT UP! So first off, that clears up the whole “how did her hair grow so long so fast” question. HOWEVER. This now leads to another case of WIG GASLIGHTING. This is when a wig (which is being passed off as real hair) is of equal or lesser quality to a wig that is a known wig within the context of the narrative. In other words - the quality of this rat tail (which we now know to be a wig) is of the same exact quality as the wig Michelle Williams wears to play Gwenny. WIG GASLIGHTING! For other bone-chilling examples of past wig gaslightings please see my reviews of The Danish Girl and Oceans Eight. WIG GASLIGHTING IS TERRIFYING.
EPISODE 6: ALL I CARE ABOUT IS LOVE
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And here we are. Throughout this (limited) season, we’ve gotten hints and asides, teases and tosses of All That Jazz but this episode fully just is a remake of the movie All That Jazz. Which I recently rewatched and is terrible. Terrible still? Anyone who would be watching this show would clearly be familiar with this awful film - so why make an episode that is that entire movie with absolutely no new information?!?! Again: WHO IN THE HELL IS THIS SHOW FOR?!?!
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Anyway, if you haven’t seen All That Jazz, this episode is about Fosse editing Lenny while also directing/choreographing Chicago AND having some heart issues that end in hospitalization. Gwenny’s wig is bent as ever and Fosse’s circa 1997 Ed Harris lewk is still the same. Truly, there is no new information in this episode at all except that some of it is presented with Fosse AS Lenny Bruce which was an AWFUL IDEA. 
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OH! Except this lady playing Chita Rivera who is really good and has the brunette version of Gwenny’s bent wig. 
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ALSO! Nicole Fosse is now played by this slightly older actor who looks nothing like her younger version (or the actual Nicole Fosse) and is in a definitely terrible wig (and also forced to wear heavy makeup to visit her dad in the hospital because kids aren’t allowed to visit hospitals? IS THIS REALLY A RULE?)
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Anyway, there’s a lot of All That Jazz hospital drama here and a lot of terrible flashblacks to Fosse’s burlesque tween years which attempt to explain his messed up relationship with women in an extremely Don Draper in Mad Men flashback way. There is also messed up hospital sex with Ann Reinking! THIS EPISODE IS AWFUL IN EVERY WAY!
EPISODE 7: NOWADAYS
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Fosse recovered! For now! Back at Chicago rehearsals, everyone is wearing extra socks and doing just great. The most important addition to this show this week is that they got some dude to play Jerry Orbach! His man wig was terrible!
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He also very did not look like Jerry Orbach! Anyway, this episode was mainly about Gwenny being TOO OLD for all this choreography, y’all. She was huffing and puffing all over fake Jerry Orbach so Fosse had to cut a lot of her dancing but once the show opened guess what? Gwenny got better reviews than the show itself! Take that, dance steps! However, there was a whole part where Gwenny read Fosse for filth and said that he owed his entire career to her and how dare he make the finale a duet between her and Chita! (He made the finale a duet). There were also many flashbacks about Fosse and Gwenny’s fertility issues and I almost believed that Nicole was adopted until Gwenny got legit pregnant while Fosse was too busy dancing to construct cribs. You almost taught me something, Fosse/Verdon!
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OMG I CAN’T STOP LOOKING AT THESE PICTURES OF FAKE JERRY ORBACH. Anyway, Fosse/Verdon then legit DID teach me something: apparently a few weeks into the run of Chicago, Gwenny inhaled some confetti during the finale and it effed with her vocal chords but she refused to leave the show, thinking it might close if she did. BUT THEN Fosse got LIZA EFFING MINNELLI to take her place while she got surgery and recovered! This was news to me! HOWEVER, Fosse/Verdon refused to show me any footage of even fake Liza in the show which was a real missed opportunity. 
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Anyway, Liza revived the show and Gwenny was kind of pissed about it but on every level: THE SHOW MUST GO ON. Here is Gwenny during the finale which she was forced to share with Chita. And this show didn’t even show us the full finale! I DEMAND TO SEE MICHELLE WILLIAMS DOING THE HOT HONEY RAG WHY DID YOU EVEN MAKE THIS SHOW IF I CAN’T SEE IT. There is literally no reason for this show to exist if it can’t show me Michelle Williams doing a cartwheel in a top hat.  What a world. What a wig. 
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IN CONCLUSION: LOOK AGAIN AT THE TERRIBLE MAN WIG ON FAKE JERRY ORBACH. 
EPISODE 8: PROVIDENCE
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We begin (or should I say end?) with some grumpy old men talking about what they can and cannot eat (spoiler: they can’t eat anything good!) Both Fosse and BFF Paddy Chayefsky have heart conditions and creative conditions. And I have a condition with this wig on Norbert Leo Butz. NO THANK YOU PLEASE. Anyway, Paddy tells Fosse how to rewrite All That Jazz aka how to rewrite his life and Fosse DOESN’T WANNA HEAR IT. And then Paddy dies and Fosse quite literally dances on his grave but in a really sad and mournful way. Yes, really. 
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Meanwhile, Fosse interviews Gwenny in preparation for All That Jazz which honestly is just way to meta at this point, and she kinda tells it like it is. And I kinda know I’m not gonna miss this bent wig! 
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Meanwhile, Ann Reinking is forced to audition to play herself in All That Jazz while under the painfully awkward and terrible direction of Fosse in this circa 1996 Ed Harris wig and LORDT I WILL NOT MISS LOOKING AT THE BAD OF THIS THING!
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Then over at All that Jazz rehearsals, Gwenny and Nicole are met with bizzarro visions of themselves much like these bizarro visions of themselves in this show and omg everything just got way too meta and NIcole’s wig gives me hives. 
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AND THEN. AND FRIGGIN THEN. LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA HAD THE AUDACITY TO PLAY ROY SHEIDER PLAYING BOB FOSSE IN ALL THAT JAZZ. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THIS SHOW COULDN’T GET ANY MORE VAINGLORIOUS. MY HEAD AND MY TV JUST EXPLODED. 
Honestly, this is the only way for this terrible show to end - in a blaze of glory and nonsense. Well actually, it ended with Gwenny and Fosse reteaming in old age makeup to direct the revival of Sweet Charity but the internet refused to give me any pictures of that and fine. And then Fosse died on a sidewalk in the arms of Gwenny. And then for some reason the whole show ended with a shot of Nicole Fosse’s Vermont house. 
WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP IT’S BEEN YOU GUYS. But now we can finally be rid of these terrible terrible wigs and this terrible terrible show. 
VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ
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jmsa1287 · 6 years
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In Netflix's 'Haunting of Hill House,' a Haunted Family Struggles with Grief
hi i wrote about Mike Flanagan’s great new Netflix series “The Haunting of Hill House.”
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Director Mike Flanagan is one of Hollywood's best under-the-radar horror filmmakers. He's found success on the big screen with his outstanding "Ouija: Origins of Evil" and "Oculus" and also on Netflix. He's got a few movies on the streaming service, including the intense cat-and-mouse game involving a deaf woman called "Hush" and an adaptation of Steven King's kink-gone-wrong thriller "Gerald's Game." Despite turning out several solid projects over the last few years, Flanagan has yet to join the upper echelon of horror auteurs — he's more of a filmmaker's filmmaker. (His next project? "Doctor Sleep" — an adaptation of Steven King's sequel to "The Shining.")
That could possibly change this week. Flanagan is returning to Netflix Friday with his take on "The Haunting of Hill House," loosely based on Shirley Jackson's 1959 gothic horror novella. The ten-episode series isn't a straightforward or typical haunted house tale — it's a thoughtful and atmospheric show that's made for adults, offering meditative thoughts about loss, death, grief and family relationships while still dishing out some truly terrifying scares.
"Hill House" follows the Crain family in both the past and present. In the past, the young family is living in, and flipping, Hill House, a creepy old mansion towering in the middle of western Massachusetts. Parents Hugh (Henry Thomas) and Olivia (Carla Gugino) have five children who help fix up the creaky home: Steven (Paxton Singleton), Shirley (Lulu Wilson), Theodora (Mckenna Grace) and twins Luke (Julian Hilliard) and Nell (Violet McGraw). But nothing is as it seems and as "Hill House" unfolds, the house's secrets history and the way in which it impacts the Crains plays out in terrifying ways.
In the present, when the Crain kids are adults, we learn that a bone-chilling event at Hill House has disrupted the family in a major way. Hugh (played by Timothy Hutton in the present) is estranged from his kids, who are each dealing with the ramifications of Hill House in their own way. Steven (Michiel Huisman) is an author, who spun his family's headline-grabbing tragedy into a book, earning a huge paycheck (plus royalties!). Shirley (Elizabeth Reaser) and her husband run a floundering funeral home. Theo (Kate Siegel) has gone on to become a child psychologist but is still struggling with some intense demons. Luke (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) is a drug addict, bouncing in-and-out of rehabs, and Nell (Victoria Pedretti) is still plagued by Hill House and other tragedies that have occurred in her adult life.
The first five episodes mostly focus on each of the Crain children, delving into the characters by cutting between the past and the present. Each episode highlights one of the Crain kids, fleshing them out and getting to the bottom of how the events at Hill House shaped who they are today — for better or for worse.
"Hill House" is often told out of order, with scenes playing out from different points of view. The first five episodes has a "Run Lola Run" set-up but with a spooky twist. Telling this story this way also allows Flanagan to make certain scenes pack a powerful and devastating punch; knowing the fate of a certain character and then watching how they got to their demise is awfully chilling.
Flanagan also trusts that his audience can follow the mostly nonlinear and the eerie threads of this family's tragic story. Episodes of "Hill House" build off each other in a slow-burning prestige TV way that has a wild payoff during the back half of the series. Episode five is a gut-wrenching hour-and-ten minutes with a brutal climax. Episode six is an impressive technical feat with Flanagan pulling off some incredible long tracking shots; his camera is hectic and swirls around the drama that plays out with the Crain family in the present day.
Mental illness and complicated family dynamics have been a prominent theme in horror in 2018. The deeply unsettling "Hereditary" examines a woman's inherited mental illness and how it plagues the ones she loves the most. On HBO's Southern gothic nightmare "Sharp Objects," a young woman's trauma and her mother's mental illness are at the center of this curdled family drama. "Hill House" takes these themes a step further, suggesting paranormal activity can be baked in one's DNA; that the supernatural is passed down from generation to generation and can eat away at a family from the inside out.
Flanagan's "The House of Haunted Hill" proves the filmmaker is at the peak of his craft. Though it's not perfect (again, thanks to the Netflix model the show is probably just a few episodes too long, and for some, it'll feel like an eternity getting there), there's much to admire here. Flanagan is an affective and considerate storyteller who injects humanity into this dark and traumatic family drama. He cares about the psychology of the Crain family and about their journey. His "Hill House" is a compassionate take on a modern horror story and one that's surprisingly powerful.
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mariaslozak · 6 years
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“Is there ever such a thing as a wise choice in love?”
“Yes, I’m sure of it. I refuse to believe that every happy marriage under the sun is simply a matter of luck. At some point someone must have weighed the choices and chosen well, whether it is a choice of mate or a choice of conduct within the marriage.”
One reader’s doormat heroine is another's perfect pining character. Heiress Millie Graves’s arranged marriage with the penniless Fitz, the Earl Fitzhugh, when they are still legal minors begins eight years of emotional tumult for both. Forced to give up the love of his life, Fitz can’t let go of the dreams he’s lost. Millie, secretly in love with Fitz from the day she first set eyes on him, stoically offers him sympathetic friendship instead. This not only includes a pact that postpones physical relations between them until long years into the future, but opens the door for Fitz to build a separate future. Cue anguish and heartbreak all the way through from the first chapter to the last.
Sherry Thomas is a sophisticated stylist and storyteller whose work boldly tackles painful relationship themes: Ravishing the Heiress is like Edith Wharton distilled into popular romance. It’s constructed with a nonlinear narrative and relies to great extent on a prominent secondary couple (their own story is told in the next book, Tempting the Bride). The former infuses tension and movement into a relationship that might otherwise feel too static for a romance, while the latter provides sexual sparks absent from the main romance for much of the book due to its constraints. Here is the ultimate in slow burn.
It won’t work for everyone. The story demands the reader to accept that both hero and heroine are cast in a mould of historical conduct the genre tends to rebel against. Even then, an argument could be made that the resolution calls for a major grovel (never forthcoming). The sombre combination of restraint and anguish can make one long for a few more moments in which emotions are allowed to soar free and bright.
But if you enjoy strong internal drama, lively prose, interestingly charted character maturation (the hero’s in this case; the heroine is far older than her years from the start), and romances that feel grounded in the lived realities of historical people (without morphing into historical fiction), then I can warmly recommend Ravishing The Heiress. I devoured it swiftly and with a great deal of satisfaction.
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astral-space-dragon · 6 years
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My favorite Halloween films
I talked about my favorite Christmas films and thought I’d share my favorite Halloween films. Now keep in mind that these are in no particular order, just a list of Halloween films that I like. NOTE: I am excluding “Hocus Pocus”, “The Nightmare Before Christmas”, slasher films, and Stephen King films. That’d be too easy.
With that being said, here’s my favorite Halloween films.
1. Trick ‘r Treat
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This 2009 film, takes place over the course of Halloween in the fictional town of Warren Valley, Ohio. Its story is told in a nonlinear narrative, with characters crossing paths with each other throughout the film. At the centre of the story is Sam, a peculiar trick-or-treater dressed in pajamas and a burlap sack, who appears to enforce the “rules” of Halloween.
This film was a hit in the box office, but for the few years, no one really talked about it. In recent years, it has gained a cult following and there have been talks of a possible sequel.
This films is perfect for Halloween. It’s riddled with the holiday: fallen leaves, trick-or-treating, jack o’ lanterns, all that good stuff. See it for yourself and join the following.
2. Mad Monster Party
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Hey, remember those Christmas specials? Frosty the Snowman? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Santa Claus is Coming to Town? Of course you do. Well, the same company (Rankin/Bass Productions) tried their hand at making a special for a different holiday: Halloween and “Mad Monster Party” was that final product. 
Baron Boris von Frankenstein (voiced by Boris Karloff [yes, I mean that]) achieves his ultimate ambition, the secret of total destruction. Having perfected and tested the formula, he sends out messenger bats to summon all monsters to the Isle of Evil in the Caribbean Sea. The Baron intends to inform them of his discovery and also to reveal his imminent retirement as head of the "Worldwide Organization of Monsters". Besides Frankenstein's Monster and the Monster's more intelligent mate who live in the island castle with Boris, the invites also include Count Dracula, the Mummy, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, the Werewolf, The Invisible Man, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
The special did decently at the time of its release but since Rankin/Bass Productions was (and still is) known for their Christmas specials, the film flew under the radar and was pretty much forgotten.
Like “Trick ‘r Treat”, “Mad Monster Party” has gained a cult following in the recent years, but it’s still not talked about as much. Find the film for yourself and see why it should never be forgotten.
3. The Halloween Tree
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“The Halloween Tree” is a 1993 Hanna-Barbera film based on the Ray Bradbury novel of the same name. The film tells the story of a group of trick-or-treating children who learn about the origins and influences of Halloween when one of their friends is spirited away by mysterious forces. The film stars Ray Bradbury as the narrator and the late Leonard Nimoy as the children's guide, Mr. Moundshroud.
I remember watching this film every year on Cartoon Network when it aired on the Halloween season (I don’t think they do anymore since it doesn’t fit their TTG agenda....), so it hold a special place in my heart. In the film, the children travel though time and witness ancient traditions that modern day Halloween takes inspiration from. From rituals carried out my Celtic Druids to Dia de los Muertos in Mexico; there’s something for everyone in this film.
4. Frankenweeinie (1984)
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When I say “Frankenweenie”, I’m not talking about the 2012 stop-motion remake, I’m talking about the original 1984 film that got Tim Burton fired from Disney (yes, you read that right).
If you’ve seen the 2012 remake, then you already know the story. For those who don’t, allow me to give you a synopsis: The film is both a parody and homage to the 1931 film Frankenstein based on Mary Shelley's novel of the same name. The story goes as is: A young boy sets out to revive his dead pet using the power of science. It’s such a simple concept, a boy and his dog. But that concept, really never gets old. While I love the 2012 remake, I grew up watching this version and, call it a bias, I prefer this version.
5. Creature from the Black Lagoon
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This 1954 monster flick is considered a landmark. It’s the film that inspired Guillermo Del Toro to make “The Shape of Water” (it’s true, I shit you not). It’s “The Creature from the Black Lagoon”. While this is not a film I grew up watching, I have fond memories of watching it in my honors biology class in high school. Yes, the film is cheesy as fuck and it at times leaves much to be desired. But, past all of that is a relic of the past and a film that helped paved the way for monster movies (and made monster fuckers dream come true).
So what’s the film about? A geology expedition in the Amazon uncovers fossilized evidence from the Devonian period that provides a direct link between land and sea animals. What follows is a return expedition to the Amazon to look for the remainder of the skeleton.
6. Freaks
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Easily one of my favorite films. I could watch this anytime of the year. It’s an incredible film. The best part, the freaks in the films: all real. No make-up or special effects. You had Johnny Eck, Schlitzie, dwarf siblings Harry and Daisy Earles, and conjoined sisters  Daisy and Violet Hilton are just a few of the freaks that starred in this movie.
The film is about trapeze artist Cleopatra who learns that circus dwarf Hans has an inheritance, she marries the lovesick, diminutive performer, all the while planning to steal his fortune and run off with her lover, strong man Hercules. When Hans' friends and fellow performers discover what is going on, they band together and carry out a brutal revenge that leaves Hercules and Cleopatra knowing what it truly means to be a "freak."
“Freaks” is easily one of my favorite films of all time. I’ve always had a fascination with sideshow, freakshows and such; and to have this relic of the past is really something special.
7. The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
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While this film has two short stories, the one I want to focus on is “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”. This segment scared the piss out of me as a kid and I LOVED IT. The second segment is based on "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" by Washington Irving and it follows Ichabod Crane, a lanky, gluttonous, superstitious yet charming dandy arrives in Sleepy Hollow, New York to be the town's new schoolmaster.
I don’t want to give too much away but I assure you this segment is so much fun to watch. Both Ichabod’s and Mr. Toad’s segments are a lot of fun to watch. If you want to check it out for yourself, I highly recommend you do (research the production history as well, really interesting stuff).
8. Beetlejuice
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You all know this film. Tim Burton. Michael Keaton. Young Winona Ryder. Danny Elfman. Geena Davis. The Banana Boat Song. What else is there to say?
9. Onibaba
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I’ve only discovered this film this past year is it’s easily on my top 3 list. You may not know this, but I’m a huge sucker for Japanese folklore (thank my Japanese roots for that) and when I discover Onibaba, I already knew this film was up my alley. 
I don’t want to give anything away about this because I want you to go into this film blind like I did. Let me just say this: the two women in this film are badass.
10. Kakurenbo
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This.... this is film that made every second count. “Kakurenbo” is only 25 minutes long and they made every second and every frame count. You may be thinking “That’s way to short to tell a full-fledged story!” The thing with Japanese storytelling is that they make 25 minutes as good as a two hour film and Kakurenbo is no exception.
The film entails a game of "Otokoyo", a version of hide and seek played by children, wearing fox masks, near the ruins of an abandoned old Kowloon-inspired city but there is a twist: children who play disappear, never to be seen again.
I first saw this film back in 2005 when it played on Cartoon’s Network’s adult-oriented nighttime programming, Adult Swim. 10 year old me was completely engrossed by this film. The story, the designs of the demons, everything about the film stuck to me. I recently got the my hands on the DVD (thanks mom) and I’m elated that I can enjoy “Kakurenbo” on any given day and not have to scour Youtube for a “decent” version.
I know I’ve said this throughout this list, but I STRONGLY urge all of you to check out “Kakurenbo” when you get the chance. You will not be disappointed.
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bizarre-dollhouse · 6 years
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My Top 10 Favourite Anime (And Why You Should Watch Them)
This is normally something I would put on my main blog, but I wanted to celebrate a follower milestone and also I know this will reach a significantly wider audience on this blog.
Consider this both a list of recommendations and a *get to know me* thing, I guess.
Honourable Mentions:
Bakemonogatari: A really stylized show about a semi vampire helping people with their supernatural afflictions born from emotional issues. The subsequent seasons get a little questionable, but this is definitely a standalone story with great dialogue and visuals. (15 eps)
Shiki: Creepy story about a small town infested with vampires. Really brutal and sick, but it has fascinating themes. The pacing is a bit slow and it has a kind of bad scene towards the end, but the show is 100% worth it. (24 eps)
Cardcaptor Sakura: Because this is mostly aimed at younger viewers, I would only really recommend this show for either magical girl fans, or people who watched the extremely altered dub as a kid. That being said, its a cute, fun show about magic with a likeable cast and surprisingly creative and original ideas, especially towards the latter half. (70 eps)
Jojos Bizarre Adventure 4: Diamond is Unbreakable: Full disclosure, I have not seen the first 3 jojo series, but its not necessary to enjoy this show. This is a super creative and really fun series about superpowered badasses in a strange city fighting each other and trying to solve a murder mystery in the background. Weird, but in the best way. (39 eps)
Kuroshitsuji: Book of Circus: This should be higher on the list, but in truth I would recommend the manga way over the show. But, if you want to watch a supernatural horror/comedy without reading a 138+ chapter manga, OR you were a fan of the original Black Butler seasons and want to see something way better, give this a watch. (10 eps)
*drumroll*
10. Trigun
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So Trigun takes place is this old west, yet mysterious science fiction-y world where, through a bunch of complicated scenarios, a pacifist is the most wanted criminal known to man. Due to his status as a “natural disaster,” two insurance workers are tasked with reining him in to save their business. It’s an incredibly charming series, and the protagonist is really likeable. It’s extremely creative, funny, and emotional near the end. I do have some problems with the ending because it almost seems like the final conflict just...solves itself, but that’s a nitpick. The first episode is basically a short film, so give that a watch and see how you feel. (26 eps)
9. Paranoia Agent
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This was directed by the late and great Satoshi Kon and has his usual themes about the blurring between fiction, dreams, and reality. It’s about a string of mysterious assaults committed by a kid with a baseball bat, and how these assaults seem to solve the problems of the victims. It’s very arthouse and has a twist that makes me ball my eyes out even though it’s not sad it’s just...odd and overwhelming. It drags a bit near the middle, but if you like kind of surreal stuff that’s also just really good, you have to watch this show. (13 eps)
8. Baby Steps
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The amazing thing about this show is that its premise is specifically designed to make me hate it. It’s about a nerdy teenager who starts to play a sport for the sole sake of getting fit and having a more well rounded life style, and also he has a crush on this really popular girl. That sounds fucking awful, but the main character is actually really likeable (he reminds me a lot of Deku from BNHA) and I swear to fucking god every time I thought this show was going to do something awful and cliched with its romantic comedy plot, it doesn’t. The beauty and the geek trope is still there, but all of the bullshit that comes with it is omitted in a way I feel was kind of self-aware. The sports aspect is really good too: it’s well paced and there’s lots of tension even though the show as a whole is really upbeat and pleasant. I had a blast watching it, and if you can make it past the fact that is has god awful animation, give it a watch.
7. Higurashi: When They Cry
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Yet another great show with absolute garbage animation. Anyways, this show is about a group of teenagers in a small town who are unknowingly trapped in a time loop. In each loop there’s a bunch of new mysteries, as well as some extremely brutal murders and tortures experienced my the main cast. I’ve seen a number of Western shows (Orphan Black, BBC Sherlock, Lost, Supernatural, etc.) fall apart because the writers want a really clever and intricate mystery to play out, but they don’t want to actually put the time into crafting one, so it’s just a bunch of cliffhangers with no answers or pay off. THIS SHOW SUCCEEDS AT WHAT ALL OF THOSE OTHER SHOWS FAIL AT. While not all of the answers are great (the second season isn’t as good) the original author somehow made the world’s most ludicrously complicated mystery story work, with a lot of it relying on the audience to put all of the pieces together even when the characters can’t. Its very clever in doing that: it makes its audience feel smart. It also has themes that don’t really show up in other horror stories, even though they’re incredibly relevant to fear and violence. Great show, go watch it. (50 eps)
6. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
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Everyone knows about this show, everyone says it’s great, and everyone’s right. If you’ve been living under a rock for ten years: the show is about two brothers who break an alchemy taboo, which destroys their bodies, They’re on the hunt for something to restore them to normal and along the way they meet like 8990354578579 characters with interesting stories. It’s tightly written and really gripping. It’s fun, but also really dramatic and emotional when it needs to be. My only problems with it are that the ending is reaaaallllly convoluted, and there’s a minor plot point earlier on that gets weirdly dropped, but everyone kinda forgets about those things because the show’s so good. Also the brotherly bond makes me cry. (64 eps)
5. FLCL
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I honestly don’t even know where to start with this show because it has the unique property of being the only show I have ever seen that I have literally no problems with. Not even nitpicks. There is nothing wrong with this show; it’s perfect. The only reason it’s not number 1 is because some other shows have more ideas or more fleshed out characters. So this arthouse spastic comedy is about a boy who is disappointed with all of the adults in his life, then some chick hits him in the face with a guitar and giant robots from a secret facility start coming out of his head. It’s fucking wild and has like 30 different aesthetics and I love all of them. It’s the best looking show I’ve ever seen and one of the best directed. It feels like someone read a really weird poem and turned it into a 6 episode show. It’s funny, it’s emotional, it’s cartoony, it’s beautiful, it’s raunchy, it’s poetic, it’s silly, it’s creative, and it’s got strong themes. The wtf visuals, the nonsensical plot, and the amazing soundtrack make an aesthetic experience more than anything. (6 eps)
4. Princess Tutu
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I already made a post about this show and why it’s good, which you can check out here, but the gist is it’s a meta fairytale about a duck that turns into a girl to help a storybook prince find his emotions. I used to love stories that were “twists on fairytales” or whatever, but after watching this show I realized that the genre is pretty derivative. This show is so amazing it honestly made me reevaluate an entire genre and come to the conclusion that this is the only member of that genre worth watching. It’s truly creative and well crafted with fantastic characters. (26 eps)
3. Hunter x Hunter (2011)
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This show is basically a bunch of creative ideas, unique set pieces, and interesting characters stacked on top of each other in a trench coat disguised as a narrative. It’s about a perky shonen protagonist and a child assassin becoming friends while also trying to become hunters (a position involving vast wealth and adventure). It’s in a modern fantasy setting so literally anything can happen. In one arc they have to play life-or-death dodgeball against robots, and another is an insanely epic tale about the intense evil that people are capable of (feat. a 25 episode climax). I can’t even talk about all of the themes or ideas because there are just too many. Because of it’s wild, sprawling story, it has a lot of ass pulls and retcons, but in the grand scheme of things they don’t really matter. It’s long, but super easy to watch in huge chunks. (148 eps)
2. Neon Genesis Evangelion and The End of Evangelion
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The most efficient way to describe this show is to say that it’s the most interesting show ever made. It’s about an apocalyptic future in which emotionally disturbed teenagers must pilot giant bio-machines to fight monsters which are referred to as angels. It’s got deep characters, a creative story, and is probably the most well directed show I’ve ever seen. The ending infamously fell apart due to production problems, so there’s a movie called The End of Evangelion to conclude the story. It’s a very disturbing arthouse movie, so watch out for that, but the show as a whole is moooosssstly more straightforward and fascinating, This is an absolute must watch. (26 eps and 1 movie)
1. Baccano!
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Baccano! takes place in 1930s New York, and is about thieves, gangsters, criminals, terrorists, alchemists, and immortals interacting in this nonlinear comedy/action thrill ride. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster while watching this show. It’s the perfect blend of action, comedy, romance, drama, horror, and creative storytelling. It’s fantastic to rewatch since the first episodes barely make any sense without context (but are still an absolute joy to watch). It’s got great characters and it’s a great story. Go watch it. And then watch it again. (13 eps and 3 OVAs)
That’s it for this list! Check out my MAL page for more recommendations if you’re interested and have a great night! 
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aion-rsa · 4 years
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Don’t Look Deeper: Catherine Hardwicke on Self-Discovery via the Turing Test
https://ift.tt/eA8V8J
For a series called Don’t Look Deeper, Quibi’s sci-fi offering challenges its own title in the opening scene, in which teenager Aisha (Madeline’s Madeline’s Helena Howard) digs into her arm to find the truth beneath her skin. It’s a grisly sequence that mirrors a scene in Alex Garland’s 2014 film Ex Machina, except that Aisha is a biracial young woman, doubting her own personhood, not a white man; and her story takes place in 7-to-10-minute chunks totaling the length of a feature film. This short-form serialized storytelling is a hallmark of the new streaming service, originally intended for commuters and other on-the-go viewers, which had the awkward timing of debuting in the middle of a pandemic.
However, that change of plans hasn’t discouraged director Catherine Hardwicke; she calls it “beautiful” that Don’t Look Deeper can be watched in bits and pieces or binged all at once. The Thirteen and Twilight director has brought her considerable experience helming formative tales of teenage girls’ self-discovery to this unconventional (yet retro) serialized storytelling format, and to a heroine who is othered twice over, yet who Hardwicke hopes will inspire viewers to greater recognition of our shared humanity.
Den of Geek spoke with Hardwicke in June about envisioning the future in little touches instead of broad strokes, watching Evan Rachel Wood in Westworld, and how Don’t Look Deeper takes on an unexpected dimension in light of the current #BlackLivesMatter protests.
DEN OF GEEK: What was it like directing for 7-to-10-minute episodes, as opposed to a feature film?
CATHERINE HARDWICKE: [It] was challenging, but I love this format, because I do think it’s how we live now. I often have just five minutes [to do something] and I can’t spend the whole day, but I want something to feed my brain. It was fun for me because I suddenly broke up [my] storytelling—became more nonlinear and more innovative [about] how to start an opening of an episode or how to end it; where to find that heightened, dramatic moment, that pivotal moment that would make you hopefully want to come back and say, “How is this going to end? How is that gonna be resolved?” It really sharpened my storytelling skills in a new way. It was kinda mind-blowing for me.
Of course, and each episode of Don’t Look Deeper has an opening that’s just a few seconds, with a very thriller-y tone. Did you collaborate with the writers to decide what those moments would be?
The episodes were very far along when I came on the project. The writing was very detailed; however, the writers didn’t know at that time that [the episodes] had to be 10 minutes; they didn’t know how many there would have to be. So, we worked together on developing it. We did have to shift it around and find new endpoints and new out-points. That was kind of exciting. We had a big board on the wall—all of the episodes, all of the scenes, how could we make this work better.
Did you have a favorite or most challenging episode or sequence to shoot?
I really loved any time that we were trying to get inside [Aisha’s] memories, her brain, how to make her feel like she was in that altered state—not wanting to spoil—in her “other” state. I loved every challenge [such as] what could the other robots look like—the school robots that were supposed to be robots, not cross the uncanny valley, so that people felt comfortable around them—how do you create those characters.
[Episode 6 features a quasi-chase sequence in which a self-driving car suddenly malfunctions, and Don Cheadle’s character Martin must fumble to drive.]
It was interesting because it was kind of a chase sequence. Because it’s fifteen minutes in the future, [you consider] what kind of car, how could you have a modified device on your car that could be auto-driving, and then how could that malfunction. Every action sequence and every stunt person in the world, we’re always trying to think of new car chases that haven’t been seen; so the future gave us the perfect opportunity for that, adding a new element.
Quibi was originally intended to be used by commuters and on-the-go audiences, by people who have their days broken into little chunks of time for consuming entertainment—and then the worst possible timing happened with the pandemic. How does it feel to release a Quibi series knowing that it likely won’t be viewed the way it was originally intended?
I always thought it was fantastic that it would be parsed out over multiple days so you could have that fun [experience] all the way back to the early 1900s when they had serial stories, every Saturday you’d go back and watch The Perils of Pauline—obviously that sounded fun. But the idea that you can just sit down and watch it all together, I love that too. We knew that would always be available and probably a huge percentage of people would find it just like we all find, whatever, Money Hunters and we watch it all. So I think it’s beautiful that it can be watched either way.
You’ve directed these groundbreaking stories about young women coming to grips with their bodies and their power, including Thirteen and Twilight. What was it important to you to bring from those experiences to Don’t Look Deeper?
One thing I thought was pretty interesting [is that] Thirteen is a coming-of-age story where a person is trying to figure out, “Who am I as a person? Am I a bad girl? Am I sexy? Do I do drugs? Do I love my mom?” and all those questions about identity. [It’s] the same thing in this one, like on steroids—searching for identity. When you find out who you are in this case, it’s so extreme, this journey of self-discovery—what does it mean with no road map in front of you. I wanted it to feel as grounded [as possible], and with Helena I felt like she really goes for her emotional truth every time and in an original way and kinda unpredictable, sometimes the way she delivers her lines and how she attacked the scene. So I felt like that had that spark of truth and discovery, that I always try to get.
Your past projects have seen you working alongside young women in breakout roles, like Evan Rachel Wood and Kristen Stewart, not unlike Helena Howard’s breakout role in Madeline’s Madeline. How was working with Helena similar or different? 
All three are just very instinctual; they just have to feel it or they can’t do the scene, it doesn’t feel real if the words don’t feel right, they have to fully inhabit their characters. That was a very strong continuity; with Helena, she really had to get deep into it, and feel it and live it and breathe it, very similar to the others.
It’s kinda funny, Evan now plays an AI, obviously, on Westworld. My husband was working on that at the same time as I was working on this, and that piece is set in the future but they had a ton of money to spend and we didn’t and I was like “grr!”  [laughs] That was my challenge: how do you create that near-future without a Westworld budget. But it was really exciting because this whole show’s about technology, our love/hate affair with it: how we’re frustrated with it but we love it and depend on it and we embrace it and we’re excited by it. Since CGI has come a lot further, faster, over the last few years, you can just come up with a cool little idea—let me make that backpack glow, or let me add a solar balloon to the top of the school, or let me make the car glow like it has colored panels. So I was always trying to create little fun things like that that just gave you a hint that you were in the future, and then we could add them affordably in CGI.
Those little touches can often go a longer way than the bigger effects. Speaking of, I was struck by various recurring motifs or devices, including Aisha’s “crazy eyes” (when something goes wrong with her body) and the repetition of Aisha having to say “I accept” with regard to issues of consent and bodily autonomy. How intentionally did you highlight these and other motifs?
That’s so fun that you touched on that kind of stuff, because even the boy at the party [that Aisha hooks up with in episode 1 says,] “Are you sure this is OK? Is this OK? Are you alright with this?” It’s embedded in the culture, to ask for [consent]; but even when you ask for it, like when the male robot [asks to touch Aisha’s arm to give her information], it doesn’t feel very comfortable doing it: “I guess so, go ahead and touch me.” I think that scene was repeated but altered all through the movie, with humans, with robots, with happily consenting and unhappily consenting. It was repeated, but it was changed.
“Don’t look deeper” has so many potential meanings. Did it have a particular meaning for you while working on this project?
Part of it could be a cultural thing right now. I always think when I hear those words, “Don’t go deeper into the meaning behind whatever—systemic racism—just stay on the surface.” I feel like intellectually we do need to fight that phrase, “don’t look deeper”—yes, look deeper; yes, think more deeply; yes, care more. Dig into the details and the truth. For me, it’s the opposite of that—it’s a call for looking deeper.
You got your start as a production designer on sets run by Lisa Cholodenko, Cameron Crowe, Rachel Talalay, David O. Russell, and Richard Linklater, among others. Who are the female crew members from Don’t Look Deeper that you can shout out?
We really obviously tried to be as inclusive in the crew as we possibly could—with women, with people of color—and our crew turned out to be pretty amazing. Our DP is from Mexico, his whole crew were Latino; our AD is African-American; our second AD, a woman, [is] LGBT. Every time we tried [to ask,] “How can we seek people out in LA?” and that was a big goal, and hopefully we did pretty well. We got the ReFrame Stamp; it’s an initiative started by Sundance Institute and Women in Film, and the idea was—like how you can have “certified organic” stamped on your food, or LEED [certification] for an environmentally-sound building—you could have a stamp on your film that you did satisfy—not 50/50, but it’s getting toward 50/50 quotient of having women in key positions on your film. 
We got that stamp: myself, editor Josie Azzam, composer Nora Kroll-Rosenbaum. The composer is an area that’s very low [female] representation on feature films, and that was amazing. That was partly due to Sundance; they have the [Film Music and Sound Design] Lab, where they really encourage and nurture up-and-coming female composers. That’s where I met Nora, and she just killed it; I love the score, it’s very imaginative. We had a female stunt coordinator, too! Her name is, believe it or not, Heidi Moneymaker, and she is a badass. We ended up with a nice gang, a nice group—a coven.
Love it! All film sets should have a coven.
Yes.
Don’t Look Deeper premieres July 27 on Quibi, with the season finale airing August 11.
The post Don’t Look Deeper: Catherine Hardwicke on Self-Discovery via the Turing Test appeared first on Den of Geek.
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novella7-blog · 5 years
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Because This is My First Life
I’m human so I tend to be influenced by the opinions of others. Overall, I was very satisfied with Because This is My First Life. But then I read other viewers complaining about the final two episodes and I began to doubt whether or not I could honestly give the drama 10 stars. Not because I necessarily agreed with their criticisms but, because I acknowledge that the drama isn’t perfect. I mean, I’m sure I can nitpick here and there. So, let’s say that it’s a 9.9 drama and I’m rounding up. Ha.
Anyway, I’ll address some of the criticisms. Beware of spoilers. It’s an old(er) show but I go back and watch old dramas that I missed and I assume that others do to.
First, I’ll just get the Won Seok and Ho Rang thing out of the way. I’ll admit that having WS and HR permanently split is, perhaps, the better choice (or, at least, a more interesting one,) however, I don’t think that having WS and HR get back together is, therefore, a bad choice. A bad choice would have been expecting the viewer to believe that WS and HR actually had successful rebound relationships. There is more than one way for a narrative to resolve successfully. Personally, I think that believability is the key. If I’m willing to “go there” with the writer then I can’t say that the writer made a bad narrative choice.
Now, moving onto the main couple. It seems that some viewers were not willing to “go there” when Ji Ho decided to separate from Se Hee. I’ve watched enough dramas to know that this trope can really irritate viewers. Especially when combined with, say, noble idiot syndrome. I hate noble idiocy separation, too! But JH isn’t being a noble idiot. If anyone’s being a noble idiot, it’s SH. (Or just an idiot, to be honest.)
This drama employs nonlinear storytelling. I like nonlinear storytelling a lot and I think it works beautifully (at least for me) here. But I think it didn’t work as well for some viewers. Some of JH’s motivations don’t become clear until the final episode.
There seems to be some questioning of whether or not JH initially planned to leave permanently or if she actually planned to return from the beginning. Since JH mentioned an “intermission” before she left at the end of episode 15, I thought that meant that she had always intended for the separation to be temporary. But, after some thought, I realized that when JH told SH that she wanted to end the marriage contract that she did not do so with a solid intent to return. It wasn’t until after the conversation she had with her mother at the hospital (which the viewer doesn’t see until the final episode) that she decides to reframe the termination of the contract into an “intermission.”
If a viewer thinks that JH intended to return from the get-go, I can see how that action could be interpreted as mean or manipulative. But if you think of when she learns that SH is planning to ask her to marry him “for real” and you consider how finding out doesn’t make her happy, you see that she has reached a very low point. It’s not that JH doesn’t want to marry SH, its that she wants SH’s love first. Doesn’t JH ask SH something like, “wouldn’t people who get married for love be really happy?” She’s actually pretty transparent about her needs. She wants love.
I think that if SH said to JH, “I want to marry you because I love you,” her uneasiness would have gone away. But, in the end, he didn’t even ask her to marry him. Once JH said that she wanted to end the marriage contract, he completely deferred to her. I mean, if you loved someone and they said they wanted to leave you, isn’t it reasonable for you to protest a little? At one point, SH tells himself that he wants to be happy. For someone who wants to be happy, why does he give up so easily?
The next day, JH gives him another chance to ‘fess up. He doesn’t. I don’t think she’s testing him, here. She just wants him to be honest with her about his feelings. Once, she asked SH’s best friend Sang Goo whether or not he has seen SH angry or seen SH cry, SG admits that he has. However, SH has never revealed that side of him to JH. She’s never seen him angry or seen him cry. She doesn’t want him to be careful and considerate around her. She wants him to trust her with his feelings.
The morning after JH tells SH that she wants to end the contract, JH gets a call from her mom. This phone call is seen in episode 15. I suspected that JH’s pregnant sister-in-law must have gone into labor but we’re not told that definitively until episode 16. JH and her parents see her nephew for the first time. Later on, JH tells her mother that she’s divorcing. She asks her mother why she didn’t divorce her father back then (when she was ten and her mother took her and her brother to live with her grandparents.) Her mother reveals, basically, that she realized that since she would always miss JH’s father, she decided not to separate. JH’s mother tells her about her “pocket of stars” that help her to get through tough times. The stars are good memories.
I think that it wasn’t until after this conversation that JH decides to treat the separation as an intermission. She uses the analogy of half-time in a soccer match and she declares to herself that the second half of the match will be about love. Which sums up why I think JH’s choice makes sense. Her goal was never to marry; her goal was to find love.
I did wonder whether or not the choice to separate was avoidable. But I found it difficult to rewrite the scene in my head. I had the same issue with SH that JH did. He wasn’t opening up! Imagine JH doesn’t ask to break the contract first. SH proposes to JH. Perhaps he asks something like, “Do you want to get married for real?” Her answer would be “No.” He would accept her answer without debate. They would either decide to see the marriage contract through to the end or (more likely) to break the contract immediately. Then everything would play out more or less the way it did in the drama.
When JH is leaving, SH asks her what she plans to do. She answers that she wants to travel. Then JH asks SH what he’ll do. He answers that he’ll just do what he always does. (Go to work, feed the cat, retire, die, basically.) JH had no reason to believe that SH would use up his paid leave to go on a massive bender (and sell his house!) JH took him at his word. Honestly, as a viewer, his actions were a little surprising. Not to the point that it beggared belief, but I wouldn’t have imagined that he would fall apart so completely. In the end, it worked, though. (And, the last two episodes gave Lee Min Ki an opportunity to show more acting range!)  
Like the viewer, JH is surprised, too, when she returns only to find that SH had sold his precious house. I imagine that, after evaluating her feelings, JH returns with the intent to confess to SH. As it turns out, SH confesses his feelings to her first. I think that its pretty clear that she didn’t leave with the hope of eventually wringing out a confession from him. She wasn’t thinking, “I bet when I’m gone, he’ll miss me so much he’ll binge drink 50% alcohol soju!” When she realized what he’d been going through, she was apologetic. 
However, I imagine that, despite the circumstances, JH was happy to see/hear SH open up his feelings. Perhaps that rubbed some viewers the wrong way?
It’s not as if JH was reveling in his pain, though. She wasn’t happy that he suffered. As I already stated, she was apologetic. But, I mean, as a viewer, even I enjoyed it when he got angry. If he’d been menacingly angry, that would be a different story, but he was actually being petulant angry and it was sorta cute? He even dropped the formalities and was speaking to her in banmal. Considering that he’d always been very polite in his speech to her (even, you know, when they were becoming increasingly intimate,) it really felt like the wall between them fell down in that moment and her playful response worked for me. 
Clearly, I could go on and on about this drama (how could I write about this drama and only mention the cat once!) but I started this (what turned out to be be ridiculously long) post days ago and it really needs to just be released into the wild.
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