#i love how stabby he is with everything he’s so funny

[kipper-the-dog]

He’s funky

#DHMIS #don’t hug me i’m scared #DHMIS steak #what is even his name? #DHMIS meat man #i usually use that because it’s the worst possible option #DHMIS steak guy #lamp chop? I’ve seen somewhere #DHMIS lamb chop #i love how lopsided his face is #i love how stabby he is with everything he’s so funny

[helenofsimblr]

Elita: After their parley, Guy sped Evelyn back to his place quickly. Evelyn looks about, and she was rather impressed. 

Guy: So this is my place, not exactly luxury but it does. 

Evelyn: I see you like the Spartan design. I would love to remodel my rooms in the house, but my father says it’s historical… so I can’t modernize in the house. At least not for now, someday maybe. We’re not here for that though.

Guy: Yeah, I uh... don't really like stuff everywhere. I'm sure in a few weeks there will be papers everywhere.

Evelyn: My house is a relic museum really.

****

Elita: Guy decides to remove the bloody shirt and wipes his skin with some hand sanitizer in his pocket, he discards the shirt off to the side. The wound on his side from the dagger is basically closed and like it never was there. Evelyn stared at the massive expanse of chest before her. Observing how fast it healed.

Evelyn: It’s like I never even tried. You are a super soldier? You mean Gargarean?

Guy: I prefer super soldier, sounds more badass. The other one is too tongue twisty. I was kinda hoping this would get you in the mood so it feels a touch less like a business transaction.

Evelyn: Fair, but that’s your branch of humanity. Should look into it if you know the Omiscans, and I will surely read that thesis myself. It may lead some insight into what you have to look forward to. And sorry about that. I am usually transactional with everything. To be honest. I am not sure I remember how to interact with people in any other way.”

Elita: She seems for a moment a bit like a normal girl, you know, rather than an insufferable stabby shooting supernatural killer.

Guy: Hmm... I'll look into it but, I'm just a science experiment really... Like my father. Can I just do one thing?

****

Evelyn: You may be a science experiment, but I do know that your kind were once the primary species of humans on the plan- Why’d you do that?

Elita:  In the middle of her jabbering, Guy reached up and removed the clip from her hair.

Guy: I just wanted to see how beautiful you really are. And you are.

Evelyn *blushes*: I’ve been told that… but, why me? I went out of my way to not stand out or be approachable, but you did. I don’t understand.

Guy: A good question. I'm not sure I understand either, especially as you tried to kill me. Apologies for your heirloom dagger. And trying to hurt you.

Evelyn *looking at his chest*: It’s fine, daggers can be reforged. Don’t apologize. I was trying to kill you. I deserve the bruises I’ll have.

Guy: You're going to be here a while Evelyn. At least till morning. Trust me, you'll be tired.

Elita: She seemed completely out of element here. Almost fumbling, she’s not used to being out of her element. But its so funny to think of it!  Evelyn gave him a somewhat lusty look…

Evelyn: I can take it. I’ve trained my entire life to take and give damage. You’re not going to hurt me. I’m not some whimpering frump who can’t make love well. At least that’s what I’ve been told….

#ts4 #ts4 story #sims 4 #sims 4 story #ksu #tales from the district #sparkiekong #crossover #tac #collab #Season Two #Evelyn #Van Richtens #Guy

[katyspersonal]

Speaking of "cringe Brador" discourse from yesterday's meme, I am still thinking about how..... easy it is to completely miss the point of Bloodborne characters? Like I was joking about Simon being a total bum too many times when WELL AKTUALY he simply disguises himself like one because that's what Harrowed hunters do. Brador is easy to reduce to an unwashed cringe furry when him wearing a scalp of someone important he mercy-killed and locking himself in a cell piled with corpses of other people that knew too much, refusing to let anyone inside is fucking depressing. Fauxsefka is commonly misinterpreted as evil scientist that just does a little trolling when even Miyazaki himself states her as one of like, two genuinely heroic characters within the setting. Maria is reduced to be just a stabby murderous badass woman that loves stabbing and being mean despite the fact that the hunt broke her (already tender) heart to the point of forsaking it and her weapon and becoming a caretaker for patients, and her being a hunter in Nightmare again is implied to be a punishment. Adella is done dirty as yandere nun when the evidence that her motivation is not jealousy but petty religious fanatic concern that Arianna's "impure" blood will "dirty" the hunter is right here. Etc

I just was wondering why it happens? Like, Bloodborne characters not always have characterization, but those who do have it very direct? From doesn't spare much lore, leaving too much up for interpretation, but when they do - they're RIGHT on the nose. I think the answer is that Bloodborne is fucking depressing so what happens is the need for humour. Like, Adella being extreme sort of blood purist is not as funny as her taking simping too far ggjhfjh And Fauxsefka trying to save humans from risk of beasthood in the only way she knows how is not as funny as her doing a little trolling, and so on. Basically, snapping out from inaccurate (and, frankly, unflattering) portrayals would come from finding sources of humour within other things than these archetypes 🤔 Because, really, Bloodborne is just too depressing, 'being accurate' can only last for so long if alternative sources for memes and laughs aren't found. Basically all three of you who respects me for "being a deep lore diver" - if you want to be like me and take piles of polygons in a videogame seriously, take care of having enough alternative sources in Bloodborne for jokes, ok? Or else you won't survive xd Like, everything points towards the fact that you NEED to laugh in a setting like this

#fandomry rambles #me and the girls were just talking about it a lot #like crow also dug up that one post about fandom archetypes in every fandom #but yes like guys you know i post absolutely fucking unhinged cringe memes #like i write those stupid bitch ass sitcom scripts for bb often gfjhjgjh

[boethiah]

boethiah hehe

hehe

First impression

why would you just make your priest spend all his time defiling someone else's shrine, how does this achieve your purpose

Impression now

ooooh you've just never gotten over anything okay

Favorite moment

when she helps the vestige destroy a shrine to malacath and the only justification she gives for it is "it makes me happy when he has a bad day". also everything about aspera-friend. the fire under your eyelid speech

Idea for a story

i've been thinking a lot about boethiah and hircine lately and i want to write about them having a duel/hunt whose nature they fundamentally disagree on and get really mad at each other over

Unpopular opinion

oh god uh. what's controversial in the daedra fandom these days. i think she really likes nirn, she loves it as lorkhan's creation and is fascinated by it and wants to participate in it and protect it. i do not think she *gets* the psjjjic endeavor but she wants it to be achieved because that's what lorkhan wanted. she approves of the tribunal stealing godhood because it was really funny

Favorite relationship

her insane religious obsession with lorkhan. a world for us to love you in... <3

Favorite headcanon

i think she dotes on fa-nuit-hen. i think she went to kynes house to arrange a playdate between her beautiful stabby son and morihaus and refused to leave when kyne said no and threw an endless supply of daggers into the cladding until kyne relented and agreed to let their sons hang out. i think she's so supportive of her minuscule violent son and sends sotha sil threatening letters promising to maim him grievously if he doesn't make time to hang out with her sweet little boy. in fact i think that was her condition for agreeing to the coldharbour compact. sotha sil is legally obligated to hang out with boethiah's son once a decade and if he reneges on that she's going to just fucking destroy one of the padomaic islands and it will be all his fault for letting down darling fa-nuit-hen.

[grigori77]

A familiar problem ...

WARNING!! Spoilers ahead ...

Sprinkle pines for the fjords

Jester really needs to learn to look after her pets

Oh, so this is basically a magical Oliver & Co.

The CLAPP. If you nasty ...

Travis' commitment to the voice

LAURA'S commitment to the voice

The fact they KEEP cracking Marisha up. She had no idea what she was unleashing upon herself, did she?

Is it just the Brooklyn accent, or is Joanne really just so done with everything?

I always love how, when he's DM, Matt's (usually) the epitome of composure (even if it is long suffering sometimes), but when he's a player he is a pure chaos gremlin

I'm just WAITING for somebody to hit the appropriate stress level

My money is on Travis

Isabella and that accent is an experience in itself

Oh man, Sprinkle is falling in love with a psycho peacock

Toby+Drudy+broken bottle=yikes

Matt: "Now I am a crab ... with a knife."

Oh boy ... the "loving touch of CLAPP" ...

When in doubt, YEET the crab

Marisha, as Sprinkle hits that blunt: "Make a fierce check, cuz that is funny."

Ah, so Heidi has elected to be the mom friend

No, no, don't go in the creepy little shack

Froga Yaga ... yeah, there's nothing suspicious about THAT

Heidi: "Animals eating animals, is that cannibalism?"

The Pervy Deer?

Yeah somebody needs to have The Talk with Nugget ...

The Rabbit and The Murder Baby

The Unlucky Fucks Card ...

Marisha: "You have ... the stench of the Harbinger -- what, rabies?"

That's a lot of AKAs

Sprinkle trips balls

Yes, I was wondering when Arty would show up

This marble game is gonna give me anxiety

Of course it's Sprinkle who screws the log ...

The doom of the three blind mice

Sprinkle loses his shit

Jellyfish. Of course there's jellyfish

Human floaters ...

CLAPP loses her shit

Joanne's atrocious performance of Aerosmith

The bucket speaks

The map! The map!

Oh yeah, I remember this bit

Marisha: "This is Archie."

Wow. A live owl in the studio has COMPLETELY derailed the whole episode because he's too adorable

Professor Thaddeus starts monologuing

Furious owl attack!

The cigar is forever lit. It's a movie. We don't know how these things work.

Isabella: "I need to Mulan this owl."

Wow. Fjord just eldritch blasted Sprinkle. Travis is being seriously meta'd by this game

Marisha's dad said beware these broken bottle rockets

Pop pop

Oh yeah. Caleb LIGHTS THE DOCK ON FIRE.

Stabby crab throws the knife. Misses entirely

Welcome to the Mistake ...

#critical role #a familiar problem #sprinkle's incredible journey #marisha ray #matt mercer #heidi in closet #laura bailey #isabella roland #travis willingham

[andywinter16]

001 + Kingsglaive

Hi! @starryredflames Thank you for your ask! For me personally is so hard to choose one (so there´s lot of honorary mentions XD) Also sorry it´s that long, kinda lost track of myself. XD 

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Can I chose them all? No?  Well ... sorry, I just love them all XD

Least Favorite character: Tredd Furia (I feel that I need to explain that one somehow) It is not like he´s my least favorite. He´s just insuferable, cocky bastard who I want to punch, then kiss passionately, and for good measure punch him again. It´s love/hate relationship for his character ... And I am also still pissed at what he did. (Jury´s still out Treddie)

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Crowe/Pelna there was definitively something unexplored ( I think they compliment each other with their personalities, sue me for that), Nyx/Cor ... The fics that I read were wrote brilliantly, I can see the relationship happening. (I am also little sad cuz many Nyx/reader are so fine)  Axis/wife!reader it was that one fic that changed everything. For me at least. (The most realisticly written relationship ever) Sorry, can´t think of anythink else.

Character I find most attractive: Nyx Ulric like have you seen him?!! What a hunk of a man! I mean I already made post for him, so I will keep it simple there. For that let me quote Brooklyn Nine-Nine “ You can punch me, kick me, pull my hair, I am a-ok being stabbed, biting and scratching are on the table, you can use fire.“

Character I would marry: Pelna Khara cuz he´s husband material. (Funny, caring man who will lay down his life for you. He just reaks of domesticity and love) When I saw him at the bar scene my thoughts went "Oh, what a ray of sunshine" to " I must protect him with my life, marry me handsome glaive". Honorary mention to Luche Lazarus. Under that stiff yet charismatic demeanour is tender soul who desire to be worthy of love and affection. ( But sadly my senses are telling me, that he´s little bit manipulative to get his way, sooo second place babe) I would still marry him.

Character I would be best friends with: Those people doesn´t trust easily, I can respect that. And I somehow feel like Pelna, Crowe or Luche would be my best friends. Pelna is generally the friendliest out there and welcoming, so I naturally gravitates towards it. Crowe would be like “Now you´re mine, you can´t get ride of me”. So instantly snatched and tucked under her wing.  And Luche ... well, he´s similiar to my best friend/flatmate. So I will probably smile his way, and bam we somehow ended as friends for life. (He´s my braincell and I am his idiot, probably would want a refund next day)

a random thought: Dunno if this counts but Kingsglaive should have been a serial. If only for the reason that we will find out more about our favorite characters and their intentions. (especially Luche´s and Titus´s) And I would love to see Galadh.

An unpopular opinion: The traitorous glaives had right to be angry. When we consider their life in Insomnia and how badly they were treated.(which should be showed in the movie more, in my opinion) It was really only a matter of time before something like this happened. Regis´s decision only spurred it into action.  

My Canon OTP: I am sorry, I don´t have one for Kingsglaive. Yet.

My Non-canon OTP: Crowe/Pelna as stated in favorite ships.

Most Badass Character: I am really torn between Titus Drautos and Nyx Ulric. Because the fight at the end was EPIC!  Still little sad we didn´t see all the glaives and their abilities (like what can do Sonitus and Axis? And no, the answer isn´t stabbing us in the back, I can hear your thoughts readers)

Most Epic Villain: Hands down, it was Glauca/Titus Drautos! The second he showed on screen I was like: "Oh, shit´s going down! I should brough more popcorn." He delivered what was promised. The villain with a stabby twist. (and handsome one at that) The desing of his armours he wears *chefs kiss* And the final battle was masterpiece, I enjoyed myself perhaps too much. (Like when I was playing Episode Ardyn, I guiltily admin that I loved to trash Insomnia with him)

Pairing I am not a fan of: Interestingly enough, it´s Nyx/Lunafreya. Before you stone me here let me explain. I just don´t get necessarily romantic vibes from their interactions. More like siblings vibes, you know. Nyx as a big brother is reminded, thanks to Luna, of his sis Selena (so BIG BROTHER mode activated) (Also Luna means moon, Selena is a moon goddess, concidence? I think not)

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): CROWE ALTIUS!!! Need I even say more? And one honorable mention: The battle on the aircrafts, that one glaive that gets stabbed by Sonitus and then blowing the ship up. WHAT´S HIS NAME!? IS HE FRIEND OF SONITUS?! HIS LOVER?! I NEED ANSWERS, DAMMIT!

Favourite Friendship: Nyx-Libertus-Crowe-Pelna-Luche dynamic You can´t talk me out of thinking that Luche isn´t The Mom of the group. Nyx is the Troublemaker, Lib is The Loud One, Crowe is the Fashionable One and Pelna is The Sunshine.

Character I most identify with: I am vibing with Libertus and Pelna the most. Pelna is my chill everyday personality and Lib is my brash decisions and RAGE! ( and protective nature towards my friends and sibling)

Character I wish I could be: Uuuu, tough one! I am tempted to say Titus Drautos, but on other hand I was always weak for Libertus in Comrades. ( he fucking CARES! and that letter he wrote for Nyx? My poor heart can´t take it) Yeah, I am going with Libertus Ostium. In my eyes he redemed himself for all his actions. (Also I need to be part of shenaningas with Nyx)

#ffxv #ffxv kingsglaive #ask game #ffxv comrades #KINGSGLAIVE #nyx ulric #libertus ostium #crowe altius #luche lazarus #pelna khara #tredd furia #axis arra #sonitus bellum #titus drautos

[headbucket]

Ask game answers nobody asked for

Hermitcraft ask game by @cryptid-crw

🐶 What hermits do you watch?

Lots! Bdubs, Cub, Etho, False, Gem, Grian, Impulse, Iskall, Keralis, Mumbo, Pearl, Ren, Scar, Tango, Beef, xB, Zedaph, and Cleo.

🐱 Who was your first hermit?

This gets a little complicated but... as a hermit, Grian. As just a MCYT, Bdubs.

🐰 Who is your favourite hermit?

This is a hard question but... I have to say Etho (yes I admit it I'm an Ethogirl)

🐼 Who is one hermit you haven't watched yet but want to?

Joe - everything I see about him is so unique and hilarious but so far I haven't really gotten into his videos. Maybe someday, though!

🐸 What year did you start watching hermitcraft?

Okay, let's do the story now. In early 2019 I was watching some of Grian's building videos and stumbled onto his Hermitcraft series, which I started watching, got hooked on, and gradually started watching more and more hermits. I was really excited when Bdubs came back towards the end of S6 because I had watched him way back in Attack of the B-Team days, and at some point I learned that he had been in S5 so I went back and watched that. The videos were so familiar and I realized I had seen them before... I had watched his S5... so basically I was watching Hermitcraft before I knew it was Hermitcraft! I only watched Bdubs then, though, and had no idea what was going on on the rest of the server so I consider S6 to be when I started watching Hermitcraft.

🐵 What season did you watch first?

Season 6! I watched Grian's series from the beginning and caught up to episodes being currently released right around the time of the Civil War.

🐧 What is your favourite season?

Season 7! The Head Games, Hermit challenges, HWF, the Button, Boomers, Shade-E-E's, the mayoral race, Turf War, Decked Out, the Upside Down, HCBBS, Sewer Cats, Aque Town... so much good stuff!

🐝 What is your favourite hermitcraft moment?

Man, it's hard to choose, but I think my favorite moment(s) were Etho's meetings with Llama Dad in S7. They were so funny and the Etho and Beef vibes are impeccable.

🦝 Do you watch any streams?

A few! Mostly I watch Tango's Phasmo and stabby streams, and MCC (usually False).

🍂 How many hermits are you subscribed to on YouTube?

18 (70% of them!)

🍄 Do you only watch hermitcraft content, or do you watch their other videos too?

I watch other videos too! I watch just about all the videos of the hermits I'm subscribed to: Traffic series, Empires, Building with Bdoubleo, Naked and Scared, and Etho's singleplayer and modded series are all amazing!

🌻 Are you also in the life series fandom?

You bet! All three of them have been some of my favorite series ever.

🌕 What is your favourite hermitcraft build?

Scar's magical village in S7: the amount of detail was incredible and it truly felt magical. Plus it was only his starter base?!

🌗 Do you have a favourite quote/favourite quotes?

A few of my favorites: "Oh, you declared war! Oh perfect, wonderful - dude, your mayorship is working out fantastic! We've declared war!" -Bdubs, S7. "HCBBS, which I assume stands for How Can Butter Be Solid? Yes, I too ask that question, great almighty countdown clock." -Cub, S7. "In terms of salvation, Cleo, is this one of those six to eight weeks for deliverance deals?" -Joe, S8.

🌑 Do you have a favourite shop?

Hmmm... probably Scar's chest monster shop in S7.

🌙 If you could join hermitcraft, would you?

No, I would be too scared! I'm a perfectly average Minecraft player and I would be very intimidated by all the talented Hermits.

🪐 If you joined hermitcraft, who would you team with?

I would love to team with Pearl! She could teach me some building skills and we could do some shenanigans together, plus she seems super nice.

💫 Have you met any hermits?

Nope

⭐️ If you could meet your favourite hermit, what would you say to them? / If you've met your favourite hermit, what did you say?

"I... ah... thank you!" (I'm not sure I could say much more than that honestly)

🌟 Have you been to any conventions?

Nope

✨ Do you have any merch?

Yes! I have a Gem hoodie and a Doc beanie (both very comfy)

🌈 Are you immune to the good times? (no, no you are not)

Never.

#hermitcraft #ask game

[autisticlalna]

Lanable!

LALNABLLEEEEEEE yes yes yes

first impression: oh god it's been so long.. stabby stabby evil man. malicious manipulator that wants the buddies dead and has a diabolical plan. very cardboard villain (this is super obvious if you read my old wellcatchyou stuff lmao) impression now: pathetic wet cat of a man. he WISHES people took him seriously. still very dangerous when cornered but honestly he just wants to be left alone and do his evil plans in peace. Not Harmless but also if you dodge and weave your way close to him there are cracks in the persona. lalnabrain hellctor favorite moment: "TIME..... IS A HEXAGON" is extremely silly and is literally just an offhanded quip from when duncan and kim got confused about how in-character they are right now but also i love it. it's so goofy. a more serious moment is.. probably the entirety of his appearance in Burn? like we finally get to see him in action and he does SO much damage. showstopper moment. man i need to rewatch that idea for a story: i've been sitting on an idea for YEARS now in the work a miracle continuity that's about hector breaking into yoglabs and ending up in the reflecting pool from hypercubed. y'know, where livid is stored. the backup of who lalnable used to be. things go well (they do not) unpopular opinion: the story does work best with lalnable being the original. it's the bait-and-switch that shakes up the status quo, that calls into question everything about the lalnas, and GOD i wish more was done with it in-series. which is really funny because before 2.0's finale i was really annoyed at the "lalnable is the original" theory but then the time gate scene happened and i went OH. THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME ACTUALLY. favorite relationship: him and five are a riot. they're playing hot potato with the braincell but also he would kill for them even if they keep doing more and more absurd accents every time he leaves them alone for longer than 5 minutes. sliding further into my Bullshit Corner: hector and kakujo are Best Friends and hector does not have a choice in this and my fav part of the hec n jo show is honestly, like, the intro part where kakujo barges his way into hector's life and will not leave him alone and decides to hug this bloodstained stranger because he noticed he's having a brain hell episode. i want whatever these two have going on favorite headcanon: he started leaning into the murder persona after having that reputation forced onto him by yoglabs and then it evolved into like, a weird reclamation thing but also he just has FUN with it. he likes being stabby! he loves his evil laugh! he doesn't see himself as one but sometimes you need to play the villain

#leo.txt #leos reply #artsarasp #work a miracle #hectorrrrrr my favorite screwup of a man

[doilooklikebees]

my reaction to thor: love and thunder, written as I was watching it in the theater

!!SPOILERS!!

the acting and writing is awful

everything about this just feels… cheap

it has to be the writing cause I know these people can act. And they must not give a shit to be acting this badly😭

wasn’t this supposed to be a taika production

ok yea it makes total sense that Jane is now a god, for sure

omg taika wrote this… buddy how did this happen

why tf does heimdall have a son, babe what? they really throwin spaghetti at walls, my god

this has to be korg’s point of view, it has to be a joke. This is so bad

oh the god planet must be what they spent all their budget on, since everything else is so terrible

and they make a joke of Zeus, of course (not that I super care, but like… why)

it’s a little funny that Zeus just keeps talking about orgies

ah more jokes. Thor’s tattoos. You’re so funny.

(the scene on the flying ship) what have they done to janes character she is so… two dimensional?

and so obviously Just A Love Interest

(jane telling Thor she has cancer) everything is so fast paced and not explained or written well

(Thor telling God Butcher to see a dentist) ok that joke was kind of funny

oh hell yeah Valkyrie stand up to this psycho bitch

damn tessa thompson fr the only good actor

the Big Bad actually has a pretty good plotline but they’re not utilizing it well and they’re giving him so little screentime. this could be a good movie, it’s got a decent premise, but it’s just. so bad.

giant screaming goats that fly a ship like santa’s reindeer and kick shadow monster ass, that’s kinda funny

(val and her thunderbolt) y’all just give Val a tv show, damn

(val get stabbied) ayo what the fuck. what the Fuck. What The Fuck

this shit is so stupid

the amount of times I have looked at my friend to laugh “what the fuck”

(Thor telling Jane that Mjolnir is killing her) god the bad writing… the awful fuckin writing. it’s so bad. so many “explanations” they throw at us that are not well written explanations

King Val just tellin Thor “yea I lost my kidney, you can fight this fight alone byee” I love her

(Thor calling a child army) these children are going to die what the hell

(Thor giving his powers to kids) HOW DOES THAT WORK😭😭

THIS IS THE WORST WRITING EVER OH MY GOD

this is literally a stain on all these actors’ careers

she said “I’m a doctor and you will call me such” hell yea girl own that phd

(Axel wielding the hammer) ugh cheap cheap cheap cheap

(Jane turning the sword to ash) that made no sense but ok

wait he still got through. what was the point

this is the Center of the Universe? this looks boring as hell

they knew they couldn’t ignore janes character anymore or just have Thor randomly reference his heartbreak, so they kill her. okay

so this guy brought his daughter to life just to leave her an orphan. And then they’re like… making Thor a dad or something? What?

ok Valkyrie looks so hot

oh my god Sif is hot too whoaaa

is every rock guy gay that’s so great

why the fuck. They’re just gonna make Thor a dad. Like he can do that. Sure that’s. That makes sense.

this is so bad

when has Thor ever expressed that he wants to or is capable of being a father. Who is this child. What is this writing

also thor’s costume was ugly

#thor love and thunder #Thor love and thunder spoilers #Thor spoilers #how did this pass screen test #i have read seventh graders Wattpad fics that were better than this movie #mine

[brandnewhuman]

Baking with the slashes except you can’t cook and it’s utter chaos😼

(specifically OG Michael Myers because that man has no patience and stinky wall man because I’m a sad simp)

BAKING CHAOS

☆STARRING☆

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE aka stinky wall gremlin

MICHAEL AUDREY MYERS aka unhinged stabby bastard

CONTENT :

Tw: none. Well- there's Michael so you never know.

A/N: it's me, I'm the idiot who bakes without being capable of even warm up leftovers. And you have managed to pick the two worst people to help someone in the kitchen. I LOVE IT. mostly because I get to mcbully Michael. Anyhow thanks for the request^^ I hope you enjoy it!!

MICHAEL MYERS:

You know damn right that everything you bake or cook is most likely not even edible

To put it in a nice way.. your cooking skills are FOUL. JAIL TO YOU AND THE ATROCITIES YOU COOK

but, you wanted to do something nice for Michael

He has been so lovely lately and you're getting along pretty fine these days

The fact that this is how you choose to repay him is just straight up cruel

Since you have noticed he has a sweet tooth you thought it would actually be a really funny and bonding experience to bake something together 

Y/n…really what the fuck

This man eats DOGS. WHAT THE FUCK IS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT BAKING 

nonetheless you convinced Michael into helping you promising that what you were making it was going going be all for him

Little does Audrey (yes I now like to call him by his middle name) knows that he shouldn't want to even touch anything that you made 

"Look Michael, it's easy!! We just need to follow the recipe and in no time you'll have your cake"

Don't you feel… silly? Don't you feel a…little ashamed? 

Michael didn't say no to you just because you seemed so happy to spend time with him that it made his heart swell a little bit 

He actually enjoyed doing things together, he felt less uncomfortable when having something to do that shows he cares instead of having to say it or to give physical affection

In all honesty, you both were starting pretty good. 

He was in charge of mixing and you only had to measure things and add them to the bowl.

Your mistake was thinking you were able to get the amounts right without proper measuring utensils 

Michael was watching you a little bit confused about what you were doing.

In his defence he has tried to stop you but you just did what you wanted which ended up in him getting frustrated 

Which also leaded to him holding both of your wrist and shaking them so hard you had to drop everything you were holdings 

He really said "You're baking rights have been removed" 

Problem is that Michael should get his baking rights removed too. Not only the baking ones but in generale he shouldn't be allowed to have rights cause he abuses the shit out of them

He started to add too many things and then when the batter started to look weird he got angry 

Clue the death glares he is sending you 

"Wha- DON'T FUCKIN TRY TO PUT THE BLAME ON ME OR I WILL FIGHT YOU" 

Spent the next 30 minutes arguing. Well you were arguing he was just staring at you and occasionally he would make a frustrated gesture to let you know you're guilty of ruining his cake 

You two manage to finish and when it comes out of the oven i-

It shouldn't be illegal. It looks like it's about to wake up and start being a menace for the human species 

Michael was at his limit with all of this so he just points to the cake and then you

"I- I'M NOT EATING THAT. YOU DO. YOU'RE THE ONE EATING ALWAYS GARBAGE." 

Mind that, you're the one cooking for him lately. The garbage is YOUR handmade garbage 

Michael is now offended. 

HE TOLD YOU ONCE (1) ABOUT THE DOG THING AND NOW YOU'RE BRINGING IT UP ALL THE TIME

he does feel bad tho cause deep inside he knows it's his fault too

Using that feeling and the "I've eaten worse so what could ever happen" he takes a few bites 

One more bite, ONE, and you could call yourself the one who killed the shape of haddonfield 

Man is fighting against God to stay alive after putting that in his mouth

"Michael!! Stop it, you're going to get sick!!"

He tried to eat another piece cause he really reaaally wanted some cake even if it was this disgusting offensive thing

Moral of the story

You have to buy sweets for Michael, when he will get better after eating your attempt of murder

And YOU should not be allowed in the kitchen. 

Y/N just…stick to simple meals please, we can't afford another dead slasher here.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE:

You're going to traumatise him

He already absolutely forbidden you to cook any type of meals that were not as simple as cutting up things or warming them up 

The first day as his nanny you made the most atrocious and disgusting dinner he has ever had 

Like it was just plain offensive. 

Taking advantage of the whole ghost thing he wrote on the rules "pretty y/n should never cook" 

He put pretty in it, at least he tried to be nice

How mad he was that he got caught by you because he was hungry and was trying to make something for you and for him

Now fast forward to present day

You were bored out of your mind. Brahms didn't help much cause he was really caught up in a new book you have bought him 

So what best way to spend the evening if not proving your stinky boyfriend wrong about your cooking skills 

You had saved a lot of recipes you wanted to try cause they were simple enough for you to follow

"Brahms, would you like some biscuits?" 

He didn't waste any time nodding vigorously. Who wouldn't want biscuits? 

"But I thought we run out of biscuits yesterday" "that's why we will do our own biscuits:D" 

He got up, grabbed the rules and put them in front of your face, pointing to the no cooking rule. "You're not allowed."

I- HOW DARE HIM

After numerous tantrums and pleads to spare him from eating whatever you were trying to make he accepted to help you only on one condition 

You would have to eat them first and if he finds out by your reaction their bad he's giving them to Malcolm and never letting you do it again 

So now you're both gathering all the ingredients for some vanilla biscuits 

You were really confident about this whole thing as you started to add things into a bowl 

Brahms was confident that you would end up food poisoning yourself and he would have to find another nanny 

"Pretty y/n I don't think you should put that much vanilla extract" "y/n darling I think that's too much baking powder"

After the 15th time correcting you he just stopped being nice and chose violence 

"They're going to be disgusting and I'm not eating them. YOU'RE PUTTING TOO MUCH BUTTER FOR FUCK'S SAKE"

Needless to say he got humbled very quickly by being reminded the only cooking skill he had was being able to cut in triangles a pb&j sandwich 

Because of that you had to take a break to comfort a butthurted brahms

Even with all of this you then kept preparing the biscuits. 

You both were acting like gremlins without any coordination or knowledge of anything whatsoever 

In the end you were both just adding shit for the sake of doing it 

He was actually getting worried about you eating that cause as time went by he was less and less sure that monstrosity was edible 

When the biscuits were done they looked…fine?

Like they were ugly as fuck but they didn't seem that bad

"Y/n…you don't have to, you know that right?? I don't want you to be sick" 

Now you say it? DO I REALLY KNOW IT BRAHMS? 

you eat one out of spite because you wanted to prove brahms wrong 

And HE WAS WRONG. they were super sweet but other than that best biscuits ever

You could've cried. Deep down you were worried of having to eat whatever you would end up doing

"I don't believe you, you're surely trying to trick me" 

God, one day he's going to catch this hands

"Alright I guess no biscuits for you then"

What- you're trying to deprive HIM of biscuits? Not today Satan 

Listen…I always thought brahms would be one that even if it's hard he would admit when he's wrong and eventually say sorry

This time tho…this hurts more than any other time. 

He SWEARS it was just luck that they turned good

Which is right but HE DIDN'T HAVE TO KNOW

you just kept telling him that you knew what you were doing and that he was just being rude having so little faith in you 

I think I don't really have to explain what happens when he ends up believing you and asking you for the same exact biscuits again. 

#slasher community #slasher fandom #slashers #slasher fanfiction #horror movies #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #brahms heelsire x reader #brahms heelshire #brahms heelshire headcanons #og michael x reader #og michael myers headcanons #og michael myers #michael myers x you #michael myers #halloween #the boy 2016

[the-midnight-slasher-official]

Can you do raising a family with Og and RZ Michael Myers? If you only wanna do one could you do RZ, thanks so much!!

i freaking love the RZ version of michael myers. everything about him just screams ‘DADDY’ 

i would let him curb stomp me and i would thank him. anyways, moving on!

im gonna do head cannons if you dont mind

OG MYERS: 

- kind of pays attention to the children but not really (SORRY)

- the children were low-key and accident. (sorry-not sorry)

- definitely focused on other things such as laurie 

- you only see him once a week. 

-but he brings food home!!

- is the big spoon when you cuddle. 

- thinks its cute when you cuddle and you have the baby in your arms. 

- even though he acts as if the child is the devil. he still loves them to death and will rip whoever dares to hurt his family to shreds. 

- he deadass seems like the type of person to throw the toy or bottle back at them with full force if the child threw something at him. 

IM SO SORRY. I DEADASS DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE OG. 

RZ MYERS: 

- loves his family more than anything. always wanted a family. he didnt really grow up with a good family background. 

- wants to be the best dad for his children. going out, getting toys, clothes. 

- when he found out you were pregnant. his whole world changed. THIS MAN WAS READY!!

- the awkwardness of him holding his child. he would sit down and hold the child but his face would be emotionless. and you dont know whether he wants to yeet the child or keep it. 

- always holding the kid. ALWAYS. you see him outside on the poarch with the baby looking at nature. 

-  lets the baby play with his hair. funny watching michael trying to get the little demon to get his hair out of their mouth, and let go. the child definitely sees his hair as crawling vines. the child is going full dora the explorer on his scalp. 

‘RIP MICHAELS SCALP’ 

- its calming watching him sit in a rocking chair and feed the baby with a  baby bottle. 

- his smile is everything. 

- an almost 7 ft scary, stabby man holding a baby like its the most fragile doll is adorable. 

- comes home frustrated and grabs the child from your arms to hold it. and everything is ok again. would even snatch the child from the cradle when its sleeping just to hold it. 

- would absolutely without a fucking doubt rip anyone to shreds who dare touches you or the child. IM TALKING CURB STOMPING A BITCH IN MID AIR. im talking mike tyson, im talking breaking every bone in your body on ‘accident’, im talking ruining lives and snatching souls, im talking stomping on a bitch like a roach that embarrassed him in front of company. 

- if someone even looks in the direction of his child. their head is going to be the new jackolantern on the poarch. 

- michael would overhear a man showing off to his friends on how hes a protective dad and protects his family better then anyone in the world.  michael: ‘bitch please, hold my knife’  

- everyone would be confused seeing the shape with a s/o and a child. so they would see him as weak and vulnerable ‘RIP TO THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT THAT’ dont get me wrong. seeing the annual murder man with a s/o and child may seen off and weak. but trust me. michael would still snatch your fucking soul. your soul now belongs to him. 

- would want more children. so you’d have to fend him off with a broom. ‘BEGONE DEMON’ 

#michael myers #slashers #bo sinclair #vincent sinclair #leslie vernon #freddy krueger #slash me daddy #OG myers #RZ myers #michael myers smut #slasher smut #stomp on me daddy

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Everybody Hates Marcos

I recently noticed people liking some of my older posts on Moonshadow assassins (thanks guys, glad you enjoyed), and rereading a couple of them back to back in light of the little peek we've gotten at BH only seems to bolster the notion that Runaan does as much of the assassining as he can.

For the Moonshadow assassins' reputation according to Viren post, it would be ironically funny if Viren didn't know that all of the assassins he was describing to Harrow as an unstoppable threat were really the same prolifically stabby elf. Alternately, it would be very deeply interesting if Viren did know about Runaan and his endless stabbiness, and pretended he didn't.

Then there's Rayla getting fooled by Callum pretending to be Ezran. The implication is that Runaan never intended for Rayla to stab the young prince, so he never gave her any information that would allow her to track down Ezran without him. The idea that Runaan always intended to take Ezran himself so Rayla didn't have to isn't a new one to me, but the reinforcement from the other side of things is really helping it land: Runaan always intends to take everyone himself.

So I have two new thoughts, from these older thoughts:

1. Marcos and Viren just roll with there being multiple assassins after Harrow, as if more than one is normal.

First, we all thought Runaan always led a team of six assassins. Over time, headcanons formed for fewer than six, and also for solo missions. I've had a fresh one since I started writing this, so I'll add it: the elves seem to defend Xadia's border in pairs, so what if, when Runaan goes on missions to the human lands, he takes one other elf with him?

This might normally have been an assassin's SO, like Lain and Tiadrin going on missions together in the black ops version of the Sacred Band of Thebes (heyo it's my "assassins are all queer and their love must be partly tactical" love letter to the Sacred Band headcanon again). But Runaan went and fell for a soft elf who does not stab, and so he may need other partners to watch his back and make sure that they both get home to their family.

Maybe every elf that Runaan took on his mission to Katolis, except for Rayla, was someone he'd taken on previous missions. Maybe that's his standard training method: train them in the Silvergrove until they're ready for a proper mission, and then go with them and make sure they get it done right because their life back home hangs in the balance.

And then there's what Rayla said in "Ghost":

"When assassins are sent on a dangerous mission, Ethari enchants one of these flowers for each of them." "Mission" is singular, but "one... for each" indicates a plural. The grammar in this sentence tells me that a single mission with multiple elves is standard for Ethari's Dangerous Mission Enchantment Protocol. It doesn't say how many "each" is supposed to represent, so it could vary with circumstance. But in a culture so packed with angst, it's probably mostly a good thing that the Moonshadow assassins don't go taking dangerous missions alone.

And I kinda like the soft angst of Runaan shepherding younger assassins through their early missions and then trusting them to watch his back when things get really dangerous. But even then, he has a hard line where he won't let another risk themself for him when he'd rather go alone and pay the price himself. I wonder if, when he was younger, he tried to do everything himself and didn't help others train and learn as much as he does when he's older. If he's matured to some angsty "as good as it gets" mindset where he'd rather risk or ruin one or a handful of lives belonging to people he loves than risk utter failure on his own and all-out war and disaster. To slowly taint those you cherish in order to protect others you also cherish from an even worse fate... ahaha god, that's so angsty. Whose souls do you chose to darken? Only those with the brightest spark.

2. Runaan may not have intended for Rayla to take Ezran, but he sure sent her after Marcos quickly, to keep their mission on track. Runaan was basically ordering Rayla to kill someone to protect the team so the team could protect their loved ones and all of Xadia, and she couldn't do it.

What he was asking of her was a kind of halfway point between what Runaan's duty demands of him and what Rayla ended up choosing to do on top of the Storm Spire. Runaan's duty is focused way out at the tip of his sword, but his train of thinking ties that directly to the people he loves and protects with his stabbing.

Rayla's choice was her own, though, atop the Spire. Neither Runaan nor anyone else told her to do it. She chose for herself, because she knew in her heart what was right, in that moment, and she followed it.

Why didn't Runaan kill Marcos himself, then? As the only member of the squad who hadn't taken before, I think Rayla needed to come home blooded. It was her first mission, and maybe on your first mission you must take a life, whether you're solo coughEljaalcough or in a duo with the assassin leader as he helps you get your first kill or in a squad of six. Rite of passage kind of thing, in the way where failure might get you ghosted, or worse.

Maybe the way that Runaan pointed Rayla after her target is how he interacts with other young assassins when he's on their first missions with them. Silent, focused, but still guiding from the shadows. Halfway there, halfway not, an unobtrusive guide, a living reminder of all his own teachings, who stays out of your way except in the most dire of need.

So Runaan's combining Rayla's first training mission with possibly the most dangerous mission of his life. Neeeat. And once he got everyone into the castle, then things were going to get extremely dangerous, so he didn't want anyone on his team worrying about who/when/where/how Rayla was going to take a target after that point. Best to get it out of the way outside the castle, so everyone can relax and focus on their own thing.

So maybe Runaan did rustle that bush really loudly and alert Marcos to their presence, after all. And maybe it was on purpose. If he knew Rayla had to take a life on this mission - for honor or cultural or magical balance reasons - and if the rest of the team knew it too, then he could've been on the lookout for a way to force an early resolution to everyone's concerns about Rayla's capability: give her a convenient human target and get it over with.

Maybe he was so furious with Rayla when she let Marcos live because he'd deliberately selected Marcos to die.

Which is very ironic, because that's what I think Viren did, too, by sending him out into the forest with the full moon approaching. If any of the patrols just didn't report in the next morning, Viren would know Xadia had sent its regards, and they'd be arriving on the full moon. Viren knows what he did at the Storm Spire. If he's got any sense at all, he's been expecting reprisals. Marcos was Viren's canary in the coal mine, and he was also Runaan's injured mouse for his kitten to cut her teeth on.

Bahaha. Viren and Runaan literally can't stop paralleling each other, can they. But this makes Marcos's promotion to recurring character and one of the heroes of S3 all the more amazing! If two of the show's major early plot drivers wanted Marcos dead, and he survived them both thanks to Rayla, then everything he does is possible because of her choice, and that comes back around to save her and her allies at the end of S3, when Marcos rallies with Opeli, Barius, Corvus, and Queen Aanya and her army to defeat Viren's forces.

Rayla saved Runaan from doing exactly what Viren expected him to do, and ended up saving herself, along with Marcos and countless others, too.

#tdp #tdp speculation #tdp headcanons #tdp meta #bh spoilers #ToX spoilers #tdp spoilers #rayla #runaan #moonshadow assassins #moonshadow elves #viren #marcos #tdp parallels

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

So like. Time fugitive young avengers

TRYING to find the only time traveler they know and the one who prolly sorta likes them???

So like eli and Billy and teddy appear during Sylvie and Loki's sword fight to yoink Kang

Which is the real reason he disappears

Kang legit crying because??? His friends??? Who he had to keep pruning from the timeline???

ABOUT THAT.

So none of them are the same ages because it's funny

I want Billy and teddy to be a middle aged married couple who are just SO DONE and Kate's like I was literally JUST at your wedding, WHY DOES THIS SHIT KEEP HAPPENING TO ME AT WEDDINGS????

Kate refers to kang as "my good bitch" and nothing else

They have nate which allows them to grab loki. The post saakar killed by thanos but not quite Loki

Also. This is a verse where when loki fell off the bifrost he got younger and then wound up with the YA. Endverse!kid!loki is a variant of that time

Kang also cries when he sees Cassie

They expect kang to be this hardass and really hes just SO TIRED, YOU GUYS, and he's so glad to have help

Which is not what they were expecting

Tommy keeps holding up rope all "so no tying him to a chair?"

He gets berated for trying to bring bondage into everything

thATS NOT WHAT THIS IS

At some point they're like you let steve do WHAT. the home of phobia.

Also theres a variant peggy that shows up. Kate and America keep ooo.ooo ing at her

The gay vibes are impeccable

Nate calls Kate "my solid ho"

I kind if want Kate to be the "youngest". Like she's the first one they nabbed but they got her earlier in her timeline than the rest of the team. Shes still like mid late 20s and everyone is weeping emoji at her shes such a BABY and Kate growling no goddamnit I'm a small business owner I pay taxes I am NOT baby

But ONLY if it's funny if Kate being the youngest for once isn't funny then no go hoes

Kate, Nate, and Loki doing obnoxious sprawling all over each other as the youngest oldests

Why is Kang unhinged? That is why. "The floor is lava and the only safe place is UR LAP"

Also have I mentioned agent mobius is noh? I have? Great. Because he is.

And that Casey is Jonas?

Awesome.

So that vibe the gotg had in their first movie..."them?" and "those dipshits?" that's the vibe of this young avengers. With the bonus that they were once competent and organized etc etc but not with these versions of each other

At some point "shhh come on this is Kate's funeral be quiet."

"Yeah don't turn it into a roast this time."

"Shut up ur dead u dont get a say."

but also like. maybe.

so when the timeline exploded all of those timelines existed fully at that moment

which is how they can pluck people at different ages etc.

so Nate Knows about the Young Avengers and a Good Nate comes and Grabs Loki, and they “go to the leader of the young avengers”

which to nate either means another him, or maybe jonas, or eli?

and it’s KATE. who he, like, sort of knows? but why is she the one they got taken to--

“I’m the leader of the young avengers, that’s why, jerk. Also hi Loki.”

“I’m sorry who are you?”

Kate is OFFEND.

Nate is just confused as to HOW. She wasn’t even??? On the roster???

“Yeah well i guess you’re just lucky.”

the fact that loki gets the team together the second time but he doesn’t even know her is irritating, meanwhile loki is making fun of “young avengers” what was there a BABY THOR, a MINI HULK

Nate has to implement a “no stabby no shooty” rule after he’s done laughing

Loki is CONSTANTLY unnerved by how much Kate seems to know about him

some things he didn’t even know about himself? like a breakfast obsession???

Kate being with them helps the other grabs go easier

at some point they’re talking about the TVA and they have pictures for some reason. 

“wait wait go back”

“yeah ok we need to grab those two”

she’s only KIND of offended when Noh has no idea who she is but seems to have a crush on Loki. Rude, but ok. 

Jonas is all “took you long enough, hang on let me grab some infinity stones”

“fucking WHAT.”

for some reason they wind up at the End, surrounded by Lokis.

and then it’s an argument about which Loki is better for the team. Which variant!loki is VERY offended by

this is just a group of people who MUST offend one another

Kate is. um. VERY adamant about the Loki she wants. 

“My vote is for the lizard.”

cue kid!loki peering from behind something: “Kate?”

“LOKI??”

“CHCANGED MY MIND We’re taking the Kid.”

“no, we’re not, I vote for me” variant!loki says this and gets blasted by vote loki loki

Kate nixes vote loki loki because she ALREADY DEALT WITH THAT. vote loki loki is trying SO HARD. c’mon kate. i know you LOVED trolling me on twitter. pick me!

“No, we’re taking the Kid.”

Nate tries to argue this point.

“We’re. Taking. The. KID.”

no one agrees with her

“Saying it slower doesn’t make it a reason.”

“Oh you want reasons? Reason one: i know this lil shit.” a secret handshake of sorts ensues.

“Reason two: I can manhandle him” Loki gets tossed over her shoulder. he is very unimpressed

(”he is easier to punt that way,” America points out. She currently has another Loki in a headlock.)

“Reason three: i know how he lies.”

“Reason four: we’re bros.”

These reasons impress NO ONE. 

but it is how they wind up with a gaggle of lokis.

Kate and Kid!Loki are very mean to each other. i just want to point that out. but like a dipshit mean sibling energy. they make fun of each other’s ages all the time.  

the vibe of the young avengers is “we WILL save the multiverse but we’re going to be as chaotic as possible while doing it”

#loki #loki show #kate bishop #hawkeye #young avengers #nate richards #kang the conqueror #kid!loki #billy kaplan #teddy altman #noh varr #the team constantly roasting nate for his history choices

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Omg do you have more cute hcs with the lov and class1a/1b

I dont care how long or short it is, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING THEM 💕💕💕💕💖 😊😊

Theyre so comforting <333

YES I HAVE A BUNCH. COME TAKE IT ALL.

Tomura is an expert in video games, right? Well, he's currently working from afar with Hatsume and Melissa to create a VR system to help the kids at UA train.

Everything because the first thing he did when meeting Nezu was telling him the UA system sucked.

No more public exposure, no more simple barriers keeping away the villains from the kids, no more pushing them to dangerous places with no proper supervision.

The new job of the League when it comes to working is the UA is keeping the place as safe as possible and helping the kids recover from the trauma of the war.

Dabi doesn't like working directly with the kids, so his job consist on patrolling around the UA. In case a crisis is reported, he's the first at the place and his job is to keep the crisis on minimum 'til the teachers arrive.

The funniest part is the type of crisis he has solved so far. They include:

Helping people with their crushes because they tried to confess and caused an accident. (Dabi has the fun of his life with it, being honest).

Accidents in the kitchen. (No much he can do except using Shoto as a way of taking down the flames).

Stupid fights (He is banned from helping in those since he cheered for Shoto when he was fistfighting Iida for saying something to Midoriya).

And his favorite: keeping Mineta at bay. Dabi is not the type of gentleman that defends women constantly, because he just doesn't care about helping anyone. But Mineta is a type of gross he would have incinerate in the streets if he was a man and not a kid. So instead, he just walks from a safe distance and keeps scaring the kid when he's about to annoy one of the girls.

Tomura always find Dabi is the halls complaining about the no smoking rule

They make fun of each other a little until they realize they should be working and there are kids staring at them.

Class 1-A talks about Dabi like the older brother who was in jail.

Oh, but Dabi told me...

They are actually well informed about a bunch of stuff and they know how to take care of street criminals better now.

Ah, but they're also the ones who check if he is not drinking too much, if he's having proper rest, if his burns and staples are taken care of, if he's not too anxious or depressed, if hes' taking his meds...

If he's not following one of those, they call Natsuo. Oh man, Natsuo has become the emergency contact of half the League somehow. Maybe because he has a golden heart or maybe because they all are scared of Fuyumi by some weird reason.

Shoto is the other emergency contact when it comes to Dabi, hmmm, but sometimes he just follows Dabi bad example and well.

Dabi is the anti-Santa. He's gonna give you that one gift you wanted but everyone said no because it's dangerous.

"Dabi, I'm trying to make a safer space for the kids" , "Tomura, I'm trying to make them relax".

After getting fired twice by Aizawa, Dabi is finally behaving.

This has nothing to do with the fact that he's finally dating Tomura tho.

WHICH TAKE US TO: SPINNER, THE BROTHER WHO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES HIS RESPONSIBILITIES.

Spinner works in the same thing as Dabi, but he's the reliable one.

Getting Uraraka down when she starts floating on her sleep, calming people down when they're having anxiety attacks, noting when someone is having a bad day and requesting the teachers to let the person rest...

Spinner is the one actually helping them with their ptsd. He makes everything so easy and pleasant. It's like they're just kids taking classes and having fun.

Besides, class 1-B knows he is amazing at cuddling and people love his hugs. Just by seeing Spinner, they cheer up.

He and Shinso are responsible for the purple hair tendency among the kids of General Studies. Their heroes.

He's also the one who helps the kids with their training sessions when they need a partner but there's no one else to help them.

He became one of the official bus drivers of the school after taking some lessons and requesting a license.

He sings with them while they travel, he always has snacks in case someone is hungry and he has pills in case someone is motion sick. Well, a bunch of pills since Dabi is always motion sick.

He had a crush on Tomura but he realized it was more platonic than anything.

Now now, Tomura and Spinner have matching gamer tattoos that said Player #1 and Player #2. Dumbasses in action.

If Dabi is the problematic uncle and Spinner is the responsible uncle...

That leave us with: Compress the artistic dad and Kurogiri the dad who's always working far away but you can totally rely on.

THE VIDEO CALLS WITH KUROGIRI AND COMPRESS ARE SO CUTE.

101 Flirting with Compress.

All the kids in all courses have a personalized mask. Compress is addicted to creating them.

His beautiful, mischievous kids that once, trying to distract him, stole his prosthesis and kept it going around the school from room to room.

Turns out it was a surprise party, but man if it was fun because Compress pretended the whole time he was a pirate looking for his long buried treasure.

HE GOT A PARROT AND HE NAMED HIM RED BEAK.

Bakugo almost exploded the whole place after hearing such a ridiculous name.

Well, Red Beak loves making fun of Bakugo, repeating everything he says.

RED BEAK AND KIRISHIMA ARE BESTIES. YES YES.

The Bakusquad would kill for Red Beak.

Sero is teaching him Spanish, Mina is teaching him to dance, Denki is teaching him bad jokes and Jirou is teaching him to sing.

Tokoyami is the official protector of Red Beak. Koda is the translator.

On the other hand, Kurogiri always gives them some honey and other things when he visits the school.

He congratulates them on their achievements, he hears them for hours talking about their adventures and he is the old friend you call when it's 3am, you're feeling bad but you don't want to worry no one else.

If you want to solve a problem, call Kurogiri. He's gonna give you the clues but let you solve it yourself.

The award for the dad with more patience goes to: KUROGIRI.

If you really really need to run away from some hours, he can use his quirk to rescue you and he would prepare some tea for you, wrap you in a soft sweater and walk with you through his yard. You can pick flowers or fruit with him until you calm down. Or you can watch old movies with him. Or bake. Being with him is like floating around in the sky, no worries, just clouds and stars and soft noises and lights.

The school always knows when it happens and they are okay with it. Mostly. Just don't do it too much.

Toga is another good option if you need to talk but you don't know with who.

She's actually a great listener and an expert on making things look less stressing than they are. You see, she pays attention at your triggers and moods and if she sees something is bothering the students, she finds a way to distract them immediately, while letting the teachers deal with the problem.

Ah, the queen of gossip.

If you want to know something about someone you need to pay the prize, tho. And she won't even tell you if she considers the secret must be guarded 'til the grave.

She's the one who takes the messages to the parents because she's fast, can hide at plain sight and doesn't put them in danger.

You never know where Toga is. She someone studies like the rest of them, but she's like, selected to secret missions. She has a lot of info but they all trust her somehow.

Maybe is the fact that she would kill and take a stab for you. And that she would never put Deku or Ochaco in danger. Or her family.

She's also Mineta's biggest nightmare.

Try sexualizing the girl and win a terrifying week, courtesy of Toga Himiko.

She won't let you sleep, she won't let you eat, you're gonna wish you were never born. She can make you feel as sexualized, observed and stalked as you make the girls feel. Oh, she's gonna show you exactly how it feels to be a girl.

Also don't sexualize the boys around her either. Stabby queen is not gentle to those who are not gentle with her friends. Period.

Friendly reminder: 0 stabbing accidents since she started studying at UA.

BECAUSE THEY GAVE HER A RUBBER KNIFE.

And finally, the Tomura headcanons.

He's always falling asleep on odd places. The kids have a new name called "let's put a blanket on Tomura".

And then they call Dabi or Spinner to take him somewhere more comfortable.

He's working so hard. He's really working so hard on redeeming himself, even when everyone has already forgiven him. But he has this fear of being a failure or being too much...

The kids are also well trained on how to help him through his anxiety or panic attacks. Even more, some of them have always a pair of gloves in them just in case.

Momo is more than happy to make him more.

It's kinda sad how much he's suffering even now. That's way they all do their best to let him know his doing great.

Kisses in the cheek, compliments on how he's looking, new products to his hair and skin, playing the games he recommends, telling how badass he is when he trains them...

Somehow being around Tomura has help them realize how important is communicating stuff. They all are way healthier now.

Tomura is just... So sincere. He's been instructed to share his thoughts, because he had a problem before with communicating properly. That means he used to forget saying certain information because it was obvious to him, but not to others.

He doesn't mean to hurt people. He's just saying what he thinks. Which also means he offends a bunch of people not by accident. And he doesn't apologize because he is just doing what he's been told.

Midoriya and Shigaraki's discussions are epic. And so are their fights. Yes, they fight like siblings. Which is crazy funny because they are like "friendly reminder you tried to KILL ME" and "WELL YOU DESERVED THAT FOR BEING A DICK".

They've finally found out that you can complain to him or get a little violent and he's not gonna even blink, just hear you out.

It was because Bakugo got a little violent with him and yeah, he just stared back waiting.

You can't imagine Dabi's anger when Tomura told him about Kotaro. He was frustrated because at least Tomura did step on Endeavor and humiliated him for life, but him? He is angry with a man that's dead and gone.

Okay no, the whole League is angry about the things that has happened to the whole League. That's the thing with finally being able to relax and feel. It all comes back in a flood.

They have prohibited being around school when the parents visit. Specially because they are no very civil to shitty parents.

And if a kid confess about having shitty parents, oh boy. The League is gonna BE PISSED.

The UA is still a total chaos, but now in the right ways. They have more normal problems, they don't have to win war and kill evil lords, they complain about not having money to go out and forgetting their homework. And the ex-villians can complain about life being boring a needing more action.

That's a good thing. That means they all are healing, together.

They're gonna be fine.

#Shan's asks #Longest post ever #Shan's mha headcanons #Shan's bnha headcanons #Shan's lov headcanons #Mha #My hero academia #Bnha #Boku No Hero Academia #League of villains #LoV #Shigaraki Tomura #Dabi #Toga himiko #Kurogiri #Mr. Compress #Spinner #Sako Atsuhiro #Shirakumo Oboro #Class 1-B #Class 1-A #UA #Midoriya Izuku #Shoto Todoroki #bakugo katsuki #shuichi iguchi #Uraraka Ochaco #momo yaoyozoru #aizawa shouta #mha spoilers

[dariamarchin]

//SPOILERS

Centaurworld S2E2 notes

I genuinely liked this episode!

Horse, Zulius and birdtaurs were the main focus of it, with some Wammawink hurt-no-comfort sprinkled in. And I generally liked how they handled them.

I like Horse's character in this ep. She needs an army and she will do anything for it even if it means interating with weirdos and doing weird stuff for them.

But where is the little junk taurs from end end of the previous ep? I think Horse would try to train her army, yn

So,,, it's funny how birdtaurs are Horse's (and the whole herd's minus Wammawink) fanclub, since the only birdtaur we saw before them is Ched😆

Woah, the pelican guy has a sizeable crush on Comftoble Doug (can blame him tho, but, dude, chill)

Mouthpiece(?) is a relatable mess, i love him

So, do birdtaurs treat everything that happens on the land as a show? Maybe they know something about the war in the past? It must have been some kind of Game of Thrones to them or something

Okay, but why the f no one cares about the war?? Seriously???

Stabby🥰

"Stabby is a little young to go on stage" "I'm 43 yearsss old" "And Durpleton - fortyyy seven." Sorry, Stabby, but you are still a baby

Poor Stabby... He keeps getting... stabbed.

Why didn't Horse try to interrogate Stabby yet? Since its confirmed he is more or less consious and can talk? He is from the rivaling army after all

Zulius in black turtleneck🥰

I love how Zulius tried to hype up the birdtaurs by doing promising them what they want! My guy is so smart🥰

Just minor idea: if they had dug into Horse's and Zulius's minor conflict of "flashy and entertaining" vs "simple, quick and straight to the point"... Like, Zulius pushing the idea that the better the show, the more likely the birdtaurs will join them in the war, would make his speech in the end even more satisfying to me (esp if Horse would join in). But the ep is still nice!!

All the little scenes between Horse and Wammawink 🥺😭

They are certainly going for Wammawink&Rider parallels/comparison with this stageplay

Does this mean that Horse is still kinda not as comfortable around Wammawink i can't

Bruh, i can't believe Wammawink doesn't have any fans. She has the character arc and the tragic backstory?? Birdtaurs have no taste

Since there was a lot of hate on her by minor chacters and dismissal by other herd members in this ep, i wonder if they are building up to the episode centered around her and her insecurites about being Horse's friend and her place in the herd (since other herd members had grown and became more independent. even Durpeton became a dad)

Broooo, the fusion/mutation experimentsss. I wonder if The Nowhere King gained his current form a similar way?

Me at the start of the ep: "Yesss, Waterbaby is alive!!"

Me at the end of the ep: "Oh no, she's dead.."

#centaurworld #centaurworld spoilers #centaurworld season 2 #centaurworld horse #centaurworld zulius #centaurworld wammawink #centaurworld stabby #centaurworld s2 spoilers #dariaanalysin #dariatalkin #long post

[prurientpuddlejumper]

Death Threats

Summary: What if the people threatening Barba went after you, too?  

Warnings: Angst. Injury. Fluff. (I realized the timing puts this in the episode Heartfelt Passages, so that was a busy day for poor Rafi.)

Dedicated to @teamsladsandgents​ for inspiring me to get stabby.

2,256 words

You thought he punched you, the man in the elevator. It wasn’t until the doors chimed open and he was striding quickly but casually from the building that you realized you were bleeding.

The inch-wide slit in your shirt took a moment to start bleeding in earnest as you stood in shock, time frozen along with your body. Then thick, dark amounts of it began streaming through your fingers.

The elevator doors were sliding shut before you thought to stumble out with your last ounce of strength—to scream for help—before your body sank to the ground, leaving you alone in your metal coffin. You tried to sit up again, but it hurt and made more blood come out.

You couldn’t reach the elevator buttons.

You were so tired.

The funny thing was, you weren’t afraid. Just disappointed. You always thought you’d turn into an action hero if you were attacked—that adrenaline would awaken some ferocious, hitherto unseen warrior within, like Jason Bourne.

But it all happened so fast.

It was over before you noticed a blade in his hand. Over before you processed that he had said something to you, just before that dull punch in your gut.

“That ADA you’re fucking sticks his nose in the wrong people’s business.”

It was strange that you weren’t thinking about your mom or your best friend of ten years. As you pressed as hard as you could to stem the bleeding, you didn’t see your whole life flash before your eyes. The only thing on your mind was your boyfriend of the last several months, the sarcastic lawyer who kept so many walls up, and the petty argument you got into earlier about his canceling lunch plans again.

None of it seemed real. Didn’t seem like the way the story of your life ought to end—bleeding out in an elevator.

It was getting hard to concentrate on what to do next.

OK. The buttons wouldn’t work. Too far to reach.

No one can hear you scream.

Phone.

Your phone was in your pocket, but you had to take one of your hands off of clamping your gut to reach it. Blood streamed through your fingers—so much blood from such a small hole. Your hand was too slick with it and shaking to grab hold of the phone. If you could get it, you could call 911.

“Work, you fucking hand,” you thought. You thought that was an undignified last thought. It should be something profound. Poetic.

But no. Your last thought was going to be swearing at a Samsung.

Tired.

You never remembered if you managed to get the phone from your pocket or not. It didn’t matter anymore.

The last thing you remembered thinking about was Rafael finding out you were gone, his eyes red from mourning. Blaming himself. You wished you could tell him… If you died, you wouldn’t be there to cup his cheek, to make him smile again. To tell him what you whispered to the dark elevator, alone.

“It’s not your fault, Rafi.”

***

The man’s name was Felipe Heredio, a lieutenant of the BX9 street gang. There was already a warrant out for his arrest when he stabbed you. ADA Rafael Barba identified him in a lineup as the man who was stalking him only an hour after a neighbor found you lying in a pool of blood. The fact that he was already in police custody might have been relieving to you if you were conscious. You might have felt proud that it was Barba who ensured he was arrested.

And your heart might have broken when Barba’s phone rang, and his entire world stopped.

***

Rafael’s eyes were red from crying when you woke up with oxygen tubes in your nose, and your hand cradled in his. Your throat hurt more than anything else, oddly, which you would later learn was from being intubated for surgery.

The first word you croaked upon regaining consciousness was, “Sorry.”

A collection of empty coffee cups was scattered around the feet of his chair so he could stand vigil for however long you had been out. His eyes were not only red and wet, but bulging with that jittery, over-tired, caffeine anxiety.

You knew how busy Rafael was. That it was a weekday (technically, it was already tomorrow), and he’d have court in the morning. What you didn’t know, because he didn’t want to weigh you down with his world, was that Barba had already mourned one death today, and that one more loss might break him.

You were sorry for causing him so much trouble.

Rafael was having none of it, of course. He tried to keep his voice from shaking when he told you, “Why in god’s name would you be sorry?” followed by barking, “Stop that—don’t try to sit up. Nurse!”

His bedside manner was well and truly atrocious.

The next hour was a dizzying blur of nurses checking your vitals and helping you use the bathroom, then answering a uniformed officer whose questions you could barely understand through the morphine haze.

When it became clear what had happened and why, Rafael became unusually quiet. All of his follow-up questions and complaints of, “is this really necessary? Can’t you do this later?” fell away. He slumped in the visitor’s chair beside your bed, his hand still holding yours, but in pensive silence until the officer finished, leaving you alone except for the security detail at the door.

Then the apologies came. The heavy confessions that he’d been receiving threats for a year, and this was all, all his fault. Admittedly, if it weren’t for the morphine drip dulling everything, you might have been pissed off that he knew this might happen and kept it to himself. He kept so much to himself, you had to read about his cases online to know what was going on in his life. But his face—which you always thought babyish, with his smooth cheeks and lips ever-ready to flash a sarcastic smirk—was drawn, making him look old and haggard. He was too serious, too raw to possibly blame him.

“I’m so sorry for putting you in danger. I never should have gotten you involved in this.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is,” he choked. “I’ve been getting threats since I indicted those cops, and I haven’t exactly been on… anyone’s good side. I should never have started dating you.”

Like a slap in the face, that sting made it through the morphine. You jerked your hand out of his.

“That came out wrong. It’s true, though. I was selfish to think I could…” He gave a melancholy sigh as he sank back in the chair. “It will be safer if we keep our distance from now on. This will never happen to you again.”

You never imagined you could get stabbed and have your heart broken on the same day, or that the latter would hurt worse.

“Then what are you even doing here?!”

“I had to know you were OK. But as long as I’m getting death threats—”

“Wait, wait. You’re saying you’d rather give up being with me than give up a legal battle with powerful enemies?”

His eyes widened and he stared like a deer in the headlights, only where the deer was an insensitive workaholic, and the headlights were the blinding rays of truth. It wasn’t even a surprise that he hadn’t thought of it that way—this was every fight he’d had with an ex just before they broke up with him.

“I, uh—”

You grabbed his face and dragged him down into the softest kiss, which was not what he was expecting. He almost yelped (though it melted into a whine) when his fiery hot, coffee-flavored lips hit your cool ones. When he pulled back, lips wet and parted, his brow furrowed in confusion over still-widened eyes.

“You are… the sweetest.” Your hand lingered on his cheek as you gave a doped-up-on-painkillers smile. “The most selfless, noble… bravest… amazing man I have ever met. I love you so much.”

“I… what?”

“Rafael”—your thumb lazily stroked his cheek—“I know how much you care about me. Even though you’re married to your job and it’s frustrating as hell sometimes, I’ve never been insecure that you don’t love me enough. I know you never tell me about your cases because you want me to be able to sleep at night. You worry about me too much. And you always look so nervous whenever I leave, like you think I’m never coming back this time.

“So the fact that you would sacrifice your own happiness before you’d let an injustice go unanswered… that’s incredible. You do nothing but give a voice to the voiceless all day, working yourself to the bone without considering the cost to your personal life. You’re like a superhero, ADA Barba.”

A short breath of a laugh escaped his lips as his hand came up to the side of his face to cover yours. His eyes were watery, and he looked like he was about to break down again as he bitterly whispered, “A superhero who almost got you killed.”

“I’m not leaving you, you know.”

“Cariño. If anything happened to you, I couldn’t—couldn’t…”

“Nothing’s going to happen. It’ll be OK. I’m not leaving you alone.”

A tear wavered precariously close to the rim of his eyelid until he turned away, rubbing his face. It was gone when he turned back. “You could have died because of my fucking work! I’ve never given you the time you deserve. How do you still want to be around me?”

“Hey, someone has to be there to protect you when you get yourself in trouble,” you grinned.

Rafael Barba couldn’t take any more. He bent over the hospital bed and wrapped his arms around you, doing his best not to snag any of the many tubes coming out of you or put any weight on anything below your diaphragm, but hugging you to him as tightly as he could. You felt his trembling breathing in your hair, and hot wet spots pooling on your neck.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Your free arm closed over his back, stroking his broad, tense muscles through his shirt. “I’m really glad I didn’t die,” you whispered, finally allowing yourself to feel scared now that he was here. “I didn’t want to die yet. Not like that.”

“I’m sorry.” He breathed in, and his arms tightened protectively. “You have no idea how terrified I was. I’m so sorry…”

“Shh,” you whispered. You clung to him, soothed by his familiar cedar and citrus scent, fainter now after a long, harrowing day, mixed with the masculine smell of sweat.

“I’m glad you’re alive, too. I can’t lose you. I can’t. I love you more than anything.”

Soon—too soon, because you wanted to continue talking—you drifted to sleep in his arms. And once again too soon, you woke up with your entire abdomen on fire, and nurses bringing you pain medication. Rafael was still there, half asleep next to you in the narrow bed.

He didn’t leave you.

Even if it put you in danger, he would rather be beside you, making sure you were OK than cutting you out of his life and hoping the bad guys got the memo. He couldn’t put you through that pain, even if he could do it to himself. Especially when you pondered aloud to him whether you’d survived because you were thinking about him—that you refused to die before seeing him again, knowing what a wreck he would be.

Recovery was long, and interspersed with doing nothing but fall asleep when you’d rather stay awake, and not being able to sleep at all. Rafael (and his security detail) moved into your apartment when you were released from the hospital so he could take care of you—as grumpy and bossy and sarcastic as his bedside manner might be.

You swore you were going to sign up for Krav Maga or Cobra Kai or something once you could exercise again, since apparently you were not a secret knife-fighting ninja deep down. Next time, you wanted to be a badass who could fight back, and never let anyone harm your overzealous ADA when he kicked the hornet’s nest.

Eventually, you would convince him that it wasn’t his fault that bad guys had acted like bad guys. And he would convince you that taking care of you wasn’t a burden—that the emergency time off from work was worth it. He started replacing “sorry” with “I love you.”

In the end, while you wouldn’t say being stabbed was a good thing, or that you’d choose to be stabbed again if you had the option, it did ensure Heredio was put away for a long, long time. It left you with a cool scar, and a new catchphrase for expressing your displeasure—“I’d rather be stabbed again than do the dishes!”

Fine, it also left you jumpy and made your chest tight whenever you found yourself alone in an elevator.

But most importantly, it brought down the walls Rafael had been keeping up around himself. He talked to you more. You talked to each other more. And he remembered to—on occasion—take time out of his heroic, selfless life of battling injustice, and selfishly spend it with you.

• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •

@beccabarba / @itsjustmyfantasyroom / @dianilaws / @permanentlydizzy / @mrsrafaelbarba / @madamsnape921 / @astrangegirlsmind / @neely1177 / @onerestein / @delia26 / @stormtrooperofficerbrowneyes / @storiesofsvu​

#Rafael Barba #Rafael Barba x Reader #my writing