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lucyandthepen · 2 years

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gorgeous | lmh ( m )

there is a part 2!

you don’t know what in the football uniform mark is wearing is so attractive. maybe it’s how broad is shoulders always look in that jersey. maybe it’s how nicely accentuated his ass is when he’s running. or, maybe, just maybe, it’s how painfully conspicuous the outline of his cock is through those pants.

or, you know. all of the above.

pairing: mark x reader rating: R genre: college / football au, romance, humor, smut warnings: kind of feels like pwp with just a bit of background pining I guess, semi-public (?) sex, oral sex, just good ol’ fashioned smut perhaps with minimal dirty talk. nothing depraved (yet). please be sure that you are 18+ to read! word count: 12.4k

author’s notes: i literally have nothing to say like . i just wanted to post something that would gain me access into the 18+ section of the nctzen library i guess :^) this is once again an edited fic, but it is pretty unbeta’d, so i’d love for anyone to point out any mistakes they see! since this has explicit content, please do not read this unless you are of age! honesty is the best policy, everyone. :^) enjoy !

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You know you’re done for the moment the sky opens up and starts raining.

You can’t even get off the field and run from the rain because it’s all a part of the whole cheerleading gig; if the playing team’s on the field, then you have to be, too.

Sometimes, you think that there are more drawbacks to being in this position. For one, it’s completely risk-heavy; you can’t remember a game where someone didn’t at least obtain a sprain or slip on the mud in front of five hundred people while trying to still look like everything’s fine. Pile on other issues, like having to cut back hours of free time in a week to practice, having to constantly fit and refit uniforms that you also have to shell out your own money for (because what else is the university’s budget for if not to pay for a yet another science lab?), and dealing with slightly catty teammates because on no particular day of the month is the entire team period-free, and you almost have a deal ready to be broken.

Just almost, though.

Possibly the only perk that beats all those downsides is the fact that you have free access to the football team and all their practices and games. Most days, you think it’s actually worth it to risk breaking your neck coming down from a human pyramid (or, worse, being the base of one, which requires the kind of upper body strength you don’t think you have a lot of in you) if you get to at least see eleven cute guys jogging around the perimeter of the field they share with your team for practice.

Oh, and, yeah, even if you had to pay for the cheerleading uniforms, they were kind of cute, in all honesty.

You look up as the first droplets fall on your head, and you can see the collective grimace that sweeps over the cheerleading team; one girl even stamps her feet and yells something about her not wearing waterproof mascara just as the rain mixes with the crowd’s cheers when it starts to intensify. It quickly forms a thick curtain, and you lift a hand up to your forehead to shield your eyes as you scan the field in front of you. Everything is just a blur of white and blue sometimes interrupted by the droplets that hang off your eyelashes, but you keep looking anyway. It shouldn’t be that hard to spot him because he’s fairly tall in his own right, you think, except it’s hard because so is everyone else — perhaps even more so — and he’s probably being eclipsed by all these jacked up guys from the visiting team.

You get called out of your search temporarily when the cheerleading captain plucks on your sleeve and tells you you’re all going to do one more routine; in that time, all you can do is think about not slipping on the mud that’s slowly deepening under your feet. Even your fucking pom-poms are a saggy mess.

The only time you manage to see him is when the referee’s whistle blows for a time out, and the teams troop back, somewhat sluggishly, to their benches. He always walks at the back of the line, like he’s careful to not get crushed between his teammates, even though they always tell him to walk with them. He glances up at the scoreboard; there’s two minutes of play left, and your home team is ahead by a mile, so he could sit pretty for the rest of the game and they’d probably still win.

In all honesty, no one had ever thought Mark would make the football team. Not even Donghyuck, his freshman roommate, who, in his own weird way, idolizes Mark (at times, to a fault). Not even you, his best friend, who had criticized him for never being active in any kind of extracurricular activity ever since you had met in your first year of high school. And especially not Mark himself, who had, in an attempt to get you off his back about being a hermit, tried out for college football just so that he could prove that he would never make it and would never fit in a team, anyway.

Except for some strange reason, he had. Inexplicably, he had even placed on the actual starting team instead of the reserve, like you and Donghyuck had initially guessed when he’d come home, slightly starstruck, with a jersey in his hand. You thought it was a joke — even though Mark rarely makes any of those in the first place — until he announced that he’d placed as a free safety and would be starting practice that coming Thursday.

You’d thought it was a joke even when Thursday came along, convinced he was just trying to one up you and get you to admit maybe it’s not a big deal if he’s essentially disconnected from the rest of society, until you actually saw him come out of the locker rooms and start doing laps with the rest of the team. At that point, something just… snapped.

Sure, Mark has always been attractive to you, in that kind of boy next door with the nice skin and the naturally casual laid-backness so many people try so hard to achieve, and a part of you has always been pretty aware of how appealing he was. You’d been pretty good at repressing it, though; only Donghyuck had slowly cottoned on over time, mostly because he refused to make friends with classmates he would only spend one semester with, which led him to tagging along on yours and Mark’s trips to the library (which he hates) as well as your trips to unlimited refill barbecue restaurants (which he loves).

(Sometimes he hangs out with some other freshman kid named Renjun, whom neither you nor Mark have ever seen, but Mark swears he exists because he sometimes finds that his bed seems to have been slept in on days that Donghyuck is much more vocal about how cool he thinks Mark is.)

“Why don’t you just tell Mark hyung that you like him?” Donghyuck had once asked when you’d both been sitting on the frontmost bleacher, waiting for Mark to finish a particularly long and seemingly grueling weekend practice. “You know it’s not like he’s going to think any less of you. Also, it would be better if you just ended up honest with him before he catches your dried up drool on your chin.”

You’d flicked him on the forehead, partly because he was sticking his nose into where it didn’t belong, but mostly because he was suggesting the one thing that would overturn the delicate internal balance you’d been carefully building up since the first day you’d met Mark.

Not that you’d never thought of it. You’d just been really, really good at talking yourself out of it, making excuses about how it’d probably just been your hormones telling you that you could stand to entertain a boyfriend or even a friend with benefits every once in a while. It had never really been about Mark, specifically.

Until now.

These days, you’re not so great at keeping yourself calm and collected at the thought of him. It’s the curse of being able to see him run across a field almost daily, his asscheeks tightening visibly when he lunges and the veins on his forearms bulging when he uses all his upper body strength to toss the ball. You’re thankful that cheerleading practice almost always winds up earlier than football practice because you can use the little gap between when you have to leave the field and when you have to see him again to do your homework together to take a cold shower or, when it’s really bad and your roommate isn’t around, to masturbate to the thought of him bending you over and pounding so deeply into you that you’re practically speaking in tongues.

And it’s never any one else’s face that you imagine looking up at during a blowjob. It’s always his.

You squint across the space between you and him, and even through the rain, your vision tunnels towards him. His shirt is soaked completely now, and it clings to his skin; you can see the deep curve of his spine and the definition of his right bicep even from here — proof that this football thing is really starting to shape his body in a way that is both frustrating and totally attractive to you. Behind the steady noise of the rain, you can’t help but give a slight whimper.

You’re not sure if it’s because you catch his eye or just because he feels like someone’s watching him, but he suddenly looks up at you, mirroring your expression and squinting through the rain. When he realizes he’s looking at you, the corners of his lips turn up into a small but genuine smile, and your heart skids dangerously, breaking its already fast rhythm. You respond with a bigger, goofier grin before you can stop yourself, and you see the whites of his teeth peek out as he laughs at your expression.

Damn you, Mark Lee. You gnash your teeth together as you turn away, but you’re really only chastising yourself. You hate that this is confusing. You hate that this situation is actually simple, but you’re too hesitant to do anything about it, so it becomes confusing. You hate that ever since Donghyuck had brought it up, you’ve been secretly planning out the ways you could just seduce him, and you also hate the slightly sick feeling that comes after those fantasies when you remind yourself that you’re being a hopeless pervert. You hate that the rain his making his pants just the slightest bit translucent, so you can see the outline of his cock just pushing against the fabric, and you almost want to scream because you really, really hate how much you wish he were fucking you with it at that exact moment.

Mostly, you hate that your body seems to be going through its whole mid-adolescent years sexual arousal phase all over again.

The referee’s whistle sounds through the air, and the team troops back onto the field and gets into position. Someone from the squad calls your name, and you walk stiffly over to join the routine again, trying to make excuses about how you’re wet from the rain and not from thinking too much about your best friend.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You’re drenched by the time the game comes to a close, the home team scoring an impressive 6-1, but you’re not the slightest bit concerned about the cheering and hugging that’s occurring all around you. You had just seen Mark bend over to pick up a bottle of water and scoped two whole eyefuls of his substantial ass stretching the fabric of his pants, so, yeah, you kind of have to do something about it.

It isn’t as easy as it seems in your head, though. For one, he’s being blocked by people much, much larger than you, and they’re traveling in groups — the referee and the vice principal, three of his teammates carrying the team’s water cooler over to throw onto the coach (boys, seriously), and the two teams’ mascots walking side by side, their costumes absorbing all the rainfall. There’s also the problem of people holding you back, like Park Sooyoung, one of the juniors on the squad, hooking her finger into the back of your shirt and dragging you backwards to shout very loudly into your ear that most of the girls were going to go to a McDonald’s with some of the players right now. You try to shake her off with weak excuses, but her grip is unnaturally strong.

“There still might be room in Jeno’s car, if you want to join,” she yells over the rain that’s practically torrential at this stage.

“No thanks,” you shout back, although you have the decency to at least keep your mouth a few inches away from her ear canal. “Stuff to do. Gotta shower, and all. And… Homework,” you add lamely when she gives you a disbelieving look.

“You can do it when we get back! Jeno’s car has a heater anyway. Aren’t you hungry?”

Hungry? No. Thirsty? Yes. But not in the physiologically necessary sense.

You manage to get her to cotton on that you have no intention of tagging along after a couple more refusals, making sure she zips off across the field with the rest of the squad before turning your attention back to Mark.

Who is no longer where he had been five minutes ago.

The weighty feeling of regret at a missed opportunity settles in your stomach as you spot him across the field now, nothing but a tiny white and blue dot disappearing into the boys’ locker room. The feeling is only alleviated slightly by you telling yourself that you didn’t even really have a plan anyway, so it was better that he’d disappeared before you got the chance to embarrass yourself.

The rain stops overhead suddenly; you look up to see a familiar baby blue umbrella covering you, and you let out a small sigh of relief.

“I thought you went back to the dorms already.”

“I almost did, but I saw you standing like a dumbass out here,” Donghyuck laughs. “You could just ask someone to sneeze on you if you really want to catch a cold.”

“What I really want is a hot shower and a snack,” you respond.

“I saw your teammates leave with Lee Jeno like three minutes ago. Why didn’t you go with them? I thought people liked you on that team,” he teases. You whack him in the face with a ruined, soggy pom-pom, but you don’t dignify his question with an answer. He spits out a piece of the paper that had stuck to his tongue on impact. "Oh, I see. Distracted by external elements? More specifically, external elements on Mark hyung’s body?“

"There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t wish you had a mute button.”

“My mom couldn’t afford the down payment for it,” he shrugs. “You know, I could always mention it to him if you’re too chicken —”

“I will never forgive you if you do that,” you cut him off. “Never. I will strangle you before I strangle myself if you tell him.”

“So you tell him,” Donghyuck snaps. “All you ever do is moon over him now. Just get laid so that we can go back to eating breakfast for dinner every Thursday instead of you never showing up or backing out at the last minute because you’re too worried seeing him eat pancakes will trigger hyperrealistic fantasies of him eating you out.”

“I don’t think that way!” You yell, but you’re glad that he’s not really looking at you, so he doesn’t see the flush that spreads like wildfire across your face.

“Fine; I won’t tell. But you have to soon. I can’t stand being in the middle of all this awkward atmosphere you’re suddenly creating. Plus, he keeps asking me if I’ve talked to you recently.” He shoots you a meaningful look that you ignore. “It’s not like he’s stupid. He thinks you’re avoiding him because you suddenly hate him, or something.”

“I’m trying to fix that,” you frown.

“Fix it faster,” he nags, and you smack the pom-pom into his face again. It’s satisfying to see how little bits of wet paper stick to his nose.

Donghyuck walks you to the locker rooms, overestimating the capacity of his umbrella by saying he’ll wait for you and Mark to come out so you can all head back to the dorms together. You try not to read too into the fact that he’s essentially forcing you to live through another fifteen minutes of wading through one-sided sexual tension and troop yourself into the locker room while he strolls off to the nearest waiting shed. It’s odd that you can’t hear any water running, and no one seems to even be inside. You figure everyone’s out making a mess out of the nearest McDonald’s until you turn on one of the showers and realize that there’s no hot water in the stall you’re in. And in the next one. And in the next one. Or the one after that.

You groan in frustration, now acutely aware of how sticky and heavy your uniform feels against your skin. You could always just shower at the dorm, but that just means staying and walking around in this state longer, which doesn’t feel like a very comfortable option. You could also just brave the cold, but in this weather, it doesn’t sound like a healthy idea.

Of course, there is one other way.

You weigh out your options briefly, but it’s not like there’s any better and more immediate choice. You gather your spare clothes and quickly exit the girls’ locker room, your hand over your mouth as though your breathing is going to be too loud and give you away.

The distance between the girls’ locker room and the boys’ locker room is less than ten steps, but because you’re trying to be unbelievably careful, the tiptoe over to its entrance feels like a mile-long and extremely stressful endeavor. You bump into one of the members, Jung Jaehyun, right as you’re about to enter, but he at least doesn’t seem to notice how guilty you’re looking, or the fact that you have a towel and a shampoo bottle in your arms.

“Hey, _______________,” he greets you, shaking the remaining water out of his hair. “I thought you would have gone with Jeno and Doyoung. Most of the cheerleaders did.”

“I wanted to take a shower first,” you say lamely. You don’t add the in your locker room part.

“Same.” There’s steam forming a thin cloud around him as he stands in the doorway, so you’re at least assured your rule-breaking isn’t going to go to waste. “If you’re going to catch up, maybe you can invite Mark to come along with you. I asked him, but he said he was just going to go home and rest. He’s like a grandpa.”

“Oh,” you swallow thickly. “He — is Mark in there? Still?”

“Yeah, he was talking to coach about something, so he’s still in there getting ready. Anyway, at least try to get him to tag along; it’s as much his victory as it is the rest of the team’s. Text me if you guys are both coming to McDonald’s later. I’ll save you seats.”

He gives you a pat on the shoulder before walking off; the rain has calmed into a light drizzle now, and you hear his jovial voice greet Donghyuck by the waiting shed, asking him if he wants to tag along for a burger.

This is… fine. It’s not a big deal. You really just want to shower. Except, you know, you’re not really sure how you’re going to explain yourself to Mark. Except, do you really have to? It’s just a shower. He’d understand. He… showers too, doesn’t he? Yeah. That’s good.

Even with this logic, you walk in carefully, trying to keep your steps as light and as quiet as possible. The rows of lockers in here somehow look longer and larger — male athlete privilege, you guess — but you’re grateful for the fact that maybe in this tiny labyrinth of lockers and benches, you can completely avoid Mark.

You almost do, too, right until your foot lands in a puddle and goes skidding so far you feel like your pelvis has snapped in half; with a squeak of surprise, you claw at the side of a locker row, making the loudest, most obnoxious set of sounds an accident could produce as you crumple to the floor, mildly shell-shocked.

“Who’s there?”

The voice is unmistakable, and you right yourself just in time for Mark to peek out from behind the set of lockers two rows down. His face morphs from initial alarm, to brief surprise, finally settling with confusion. You try your best to look as collected as possible, but it’s hard when you take the whole form of him in and notice that he’s already stripped off his shirt and remains only in his pants.

“Hey, um. Mark. Hey,” you force a smile out. “I didn’t know you were still here.”

“I was talking to coach,” he says in a small, slightly disbelieving voice. You don’t miss the once-over he gives your whole drowned rat aesthetic. “Sorry — what are you doing here, ____________?”

“I was, um—” you try to come up with something less stupid, but nothing sticks to you better than the truth, so you admit it anyway. “Just… wanted to take a shower here.”

“Oh… you know this… is the boys’ locker room,” he reminds you carefully, as if he’s trying not to hurt your feelings even if he’s essentially pointing out how stupid he thinks you are.

“I know. There’s no hot water in the girls’ locker room, so I thought… I thought I would just—“ you gesture around yourself, and Mark’s round eyes follow the course of your left hand.

“Right.”

“It would be really great if you didn’t tell anyone,” you add.

“I won’t. It’s just me in here, anyway.”

A terrible silence passes between you two. You can see the gooseflesh forming on his arms and shoulders from being exposed to the chill for too long. You’re acutely aware of how loud the sound of your heavy, wet skirt is when you shift your weight from foot to foot, and he’s watching you carefully, with this sort of strange, glazed-over look that you can’t read. You both open your mouth at the same time to speak.

“Have you been avoi—”

“Great game, by th—”

You stop at the same time too, and you share a nervous laugh. At this, the tension in his shoulders goes away, even though he does look slightly uncomfortable standing half-naked in front of you. He gestures for you to keep talking.

“You played great, was what I wanted to say,” you rub at your arm. “I know Donghyuck and I weren’t serious about it at first, but you really play like you belong out there.”

“Oh — thanks,” for some reason, even if it’s a compliment, he looks mildly disappointed. “It’s really just practice.”

“I know that you practiced hard, but I also think you play pretty naturally. And you run… well, too.” You avoided a bullet by biting your tongue down and keeping it from saying something about how good he looks running.

“Thank you.” He folds his arms across his chest, keeping out the cold as much as he can. “Do — have you been, you know, avoiding me?” You shake your head, but he continues to elaborate. “I can quit, you know, if you don’t like it — me being on the football team. If it’s taking up too much time that we can’t even hang out after, I don’t really want that to be the reason for us to just fall out. I already talked to coach about it, and he said—”

“Mark,” you speak over him, a little alarmed. “I don’t — of course I don’t want you to quit.”

“Oh.” He looks slightly relieved. “But, then, you’ve been—”

“Yeah, I know I’ve been missing in action,” you lick your lips nervously. “It’s just personal stuff, but like, not the serious kind? Don’t — I mean, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“I thought maybe you hated that I was on the team now,” he goes on.

“It’s not that. I love that you’re on the team.” More than you know. “I’m sorry; I’ll be better. We can do breakfast for dinner on Thursdays again, like we used to.”

He stares at you, like he’s unsure of how to phrase his next thought into a meaningful sentence, so he just nods and settles with a shorter, “Donghyuck will like that.”

The next silence kills you as the desire to explain yourself bubbles up again, but the dying purity inside you causes you to swallow it back. Mark is the first to break the silence this time, without any interruption from you.

“I should really go take a shower.”

“Oh — yeah, me too,” you gesture vaguely to the exit with your thumb. “Donghyuck’s waiting for us.”

“Better not keep him standing out there in the rain, then,” he points jerkily to the next row of lockers. “You can just change there. Or wherever else. I’ll be in the shower anyway.”

You nod your thanks, not trusting yourself to speak clearly anymore, opting to shuffle to where he’d indicated. You’re all alone on this side of the lockers, but you can hear Mark moving about, a locker door opening and closing as he gets his things ready. You have to keep reminding yourself to stay on target instead of listening in like some creepy maniac, but you pause, swallowing thickly as you hear the tell-tale sound of wet fabric hitting the concrete floor, and you know that’s him taking off the last article of clothing he has on.

You think that this experience can’t be good for your mental health, but it doesn’t even matter because your mind is so invested in the idea that Mark’s bare body is less than four feet away from you that it can’t think about its slow, inevitable death.

The sound of a shower curtain being pulled close followed by water running signals that Mark is in the shower. You peel off the rest of your clothes, and hold your towel close to your chest as you walk over to the stalls. The one that he’s occupying falls right under the ceiling light, so you can see his blurry silhouette move through the fairly thin curtain. Your throat is dry, and you want to walk past it to get to the next stall, but you stop right in front of it, weirdly mesmerized by his form.

“Mark,” you say before you can stop yourself. You see him stop and listen, one hand still in his hair, frozen in the act of shampooing. His head turns, and you can tell he knows you’re standing right outside the stall, mere inches away from him.

“Yeah?” His voice sounds different — maybe higher and a little more frail, although you assume it’s just the steam affecting his vocal chords, or whatever excuse your mind half-assedly churns out.

“I have been avoiding you,” you confess, doing that stupid shifting from foot to foot thing again. Something like a sigh escapes his lips, rising above the stall along with the steam.

“I knew it. Do you really not like me being in the team that much? You should have just said so. I told you, I can quit — really. Our friendship is more important than some sport I didn’t even know how to play six months ago.”

“It’s not that I don’t like it,” you chew your lip. “It’s more that I like it so much I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“What? Football?”

“No. You playing football.”

Something hits the floor inside — probably a bar of soap — and you see Mark fumble with it for a moment before straightening back up. He doesn’t say anything, though, so you press on.

“Ever since you started playing, I sort of felt like you were — I don’t know. Different? You look different for sure, but you act differently; you even walk differently. But not in a bad way. Like, in a good way. A really good way. And it’s distracting me a lot, so for my own, um, sake, I had to… take a step back.”

You feel like you’ve said everything you can at this point without giving extreme on-the-nose specifics or a terrible love confession, so there’s nothing for you to do except wait for a response. When it comes, it isn’t what you’re really expecting.

“Actually, I don’t think there’s any hot water in the other stalls either,” he says in a careful voice, so soft that it’s almost drowned out by the water.

“I can just shower after you,” you mutter in disappointment. The conversation seems over for a brief second until he replies with a much firmer voice.

“There won’t be any hot water after I shower.”

“I’ll just go to the dorms, then.”

“_____________,” he says your name in slow, deliberate syllables. “There won’t be any hot water there either. Trust me.“

You stare dully at his form through the shower curtain for what feels like forever until something dawns on you, and a mild shiver runs down your spine — not at the cold but at the thought of your interpretation being correct. Slowly, carefully, you toss your towel so that it hangs next to his on the metal rod on the shower curtain. You wait for him to protest, but all he does is make his silhouette grow slightly smaller as he steps back, and you take this as a good sign, pulling the shower curtain aside and quickly stepping into the stall before your nerve completely abandons you.

You’ve never seen Mark naked before. It’s not like you’ve tried before recently, but when you think about it now, you feel like your assumptions have slightly undersold him. He’s always been on the slightly lankier side (at least, in your opinion), and even with all the toning up he’s done, you don’t actually expect him to look this… good. His muscles are actually well-defined now that you can see the shadows they create under the light, and his body is extremely well-groomed.

His cock is slightly bigger than you’d initially imagined, too, probably because you’ve only ever guessed at its form through stolen glances. It’s as long as you’ve assumed, but its girth is strangely more than the football pants had let on. You wonder if it had always been like this or if he had grown into it over a span of, like, ten years, and then you feel like a pervert again for being more concerned with that more than the fact that your best friend is backed up against the wall, regarding you with wide eyes.

His lips are parted, and the water coming down from the shower catches on its curves and rolls down, creating a new dimension to them. It takes all of your self-restraint to stop yourself from kissing them at that exact moment.

Your gaze meets his, and nervousness overtakes your lust; you have to remind yourself that he wanted this too — invited you in — just so that you don’t make a run for it.

“I don’t think I’ve ever—” He swallows hard; the water on his lips make them look slick and irritatingly delicious. “Told you why I stayed on the team either.”

“Now’s a good time,” you say quietly, trying to be nonchalant, which is stupid, because your naked bodies are at most two feet away from each other.

“At first, I was thinking we could hang out more, since you were always caught up in practice during the afternoons. But recently, I—” Mark lets out a nervous chuckle. “When we take breaks, I watch you practice. I’ve never actually seen you; you look so pretty when you dance.”

“Shut up,” you whisper, feeling a blush crawl up your neck. “When have you ever said something like that to me?”

“What? You thought you were the only one brave enough to confess?” He laughs a little more easily. His back is off the wall now, body a little closer to yours. Whether this is intentional or not, you don’t know, and you don’t ask. “I was thinking… that I would pluck the courage to ask you out soon, but then it felt like you were ignoring me, and I worried, I guess?” He’s shifting from foot to foot now, too; the habit seems to be contagious. “I thought you didn’t like that I was on the football team.”

“I’ve always liked it. Maybe a little too much.”

He’s inches closer now; you think that this can’t be some random set of movements he’s unaware of. You’re also vividly aware of how hard his cock is, standing erect extremely close to your thigh.

“I’ve always liked you,” he murmurs. “Maybe a little too much.”

“You never acted like it,” you accuse him without real heat. He smiles, more to himself than anything.

“I didn’t really know until the first time I saw you out on the field,” he chuckles. “If you hadn’t said anything first, I might have taken it to the grave, too.”

“I guess I have to live up to being the pushier one in this friendship now and then.”

He laughs, a rich sound that causes a pleasant shiver to pass through your body. Mark notices the slight movement, and he reaches out, pausing in hesitation before taking your waist, his palms pressing against your flesh.

“We’re in the shower together,” he mumbles as if it’s the first time he’s noticing. “Two hours ago, I was worried you were going to stop being my friend.”

“We’re in the shower together,” you repeat, a small smile lifting your lips. Mark mirrors the action. “I think that fact kind of trumps your fears.”

It takes him a while to say anything, his fingers doing most of the work by trailing along your side, dipping into the curve of your waist and skimming over your hip. The steam curls up over the both of you, creating a thin veil that leaves his skin glowing. He only speaks up again when his hands place light pressure against your skin, and he draws closer with this anchor, his eyes traveling further down the landscape of your frame.

“I—” he lets out a nervous laugh. “I can’t believe — we must be breaking twenty school rules right now.”

“Do you mind?”

“Not really. It’s new to me, but — you know. It’s not that weird; not when it’s with you.” His eyes move up again, gaze meeting yours. “Do you?”

“Mind?” You laugh, and his smile widens at the sound. “Not at all. Not when the pay off is looking at you this way.”

He stops pulling himself closer until you’re almost nose to nose, and he replaces his hands with his arms, slowly winding them around your form. From this level of closeness, you can see the droplets of water forming on his eyelashes, dripping down the curve of his cupid’s bow.

“You said,” he tries again, his voice a little softer now — a whisper just for the both of you. “You said I was distracting you.”

“You were.”

“How?”

“I thought a lot about you,” your voice is level with his, almost drowned out by the sound of the shower spray.

“What did you think about?”

You hesitate. The situation at the present is well-established for sex, but you somehow still feel like you’re the only impure one in this stall. Mark is watching you, though, his expression somewhat expectant but mostly genuinely curious. You decide to go the gradually honest route.

“At first, I just… thought a lot about how different you were on the field. You’re more confident; you’re more… alive, I guess?” You laugh at your poor choice of words. “I was surprised, but I liked it a lot. But, um — more recently, you’ve been playing a more active role in the fiction-generated part of my train of thought.”

“Like how?”

You check his expression, and nothing has changed, except maybe his eyes have grown slightly wider.

“I think about… us,” you admit, suddenly refusing to meet his gaze for the rest of your spiel. “I thought a lot about situations where I’d get to see you like this. Where I would get to touch you and taste you.”

You’re so close to him now, wound up in his figure that you feel the shiver run through his body. He clears his throat. “Do I get to touch and taste you in any of those distracting thoughts, too?”

Your mouth falls open, but no sound comes out, and he looks… amused now. Slightly nervous, but there’s a small twinkle in his eye that is unmistakably mischievous. When you don’t respond, he plows on anyway.

“You’re not that special, ____________,” he teases breathily. Your eyes snap up to his again. His face is growing pink, but he doesn’t have any intention of stopping, clearly. “What? Like you’re the only one who’s allowed to think about us? I think about it, too. Sometimes I think about lying in bed with you. Other days, I think about making love to you. Most days, though…”

He sucks in a deep breath; you notice that his arms are shaking a little, like the act of saying so many things at once has drained him of a bulk of energy, but his grip around your waist only grows tighter, and his cock, pressed between your stomachs, twitches.

“Most days I just think about kissing you.”

“Well,” you say, a little hoarsely. “Great minds think alike.”

Mark laughs right before he presses his mouth against yours, cutting the sound off with your lips. You initially assume that it’s going to be brief, but he seems to decide that now is not really the time for elementary-school-style chasteness, opting to part his lips against yours quickly and flicking his tongue out against the seam of your lips. You eagerly respond in kind, coaxing his tongue into your mouth and allowing him to explore it, the wet muscle flicking against your palate and passing over the ridges of your teeth. It kind of tickles, actually, and you want to laugh, except that would ruin the moment you’ve worked so damn hard for, and you would never forgive yourself for that.

His hands are at your sides again, skimming up and down your skin with more fervor, and you return the favor by pressing your palm against his chest, fingers tracing long, slow lines down his chest, one digit catching on his nipple. You’d say something about how cute the consequent shiver is, but you’re currently rubbing your tongue against his eagerly, so you don’t really get to. There’s no other word to encompass Mark’s taste; it’s just clean — fresh, a little bit minty, maybe, and sharp in the most pleasant of ways. A moan passes between you, and you’re not sure who the source is, but it causes your lips to vibrate against his.

Both of you are under the spray of the shower now, the warm water constantly running between your lips, and your hand follows the liquid trail downwards, stopping just above the base of his cock. Mark stiffens, and for a brief moment of panic, you think maybe you’re acting too fast. The fear dissipates just as quickly as it comes when his lips mouth against yours more eagerly, his teeth digging into the flesh of your bottom lip. You let out a soft whine, and he pulls away, his face suddenly morphing into unparalleled concern.

“Did that hurt? I’m sorry.”

“No,” your fingers, acting on the unspoken green light, wrap around his shaft, and you can see him trying extremely hard not to drop his eyes and stare. A low huff escapes him. “I just wanted to do that to you first.”

He chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. “Do you really have the time to be competitive about this? Right now?”

“I guess not,” you admit. “I should probably focus on what I’m doing, anyway.”

His second laugh segues into a low moan as your hand begins to stroke his cock slowly; it’s almost weird how much more heightened your arousal is at the sound, coupled with the sight of his jaw going just a little bit slack, his eyelids dropping halfway. You’ve never seen Mark like this — in fact, you’re fairly certain no one has, and the thought of you being the first to witness pleasure on his face makes you feel maybe a little inappropriately emotional at a time like this. Luckily, the sounds he’s making are some you’re wholly willing to focus on instead.

He leans back in, and you’re prepared for another sweet kiss, but he dips his head, soft lips landing on your shoulder. His kisses are firmer this time, more audible against your skin, and he trails them along the curve of your shoulder inwards until he reaches the dip of your neck. Something that doesn’t feel like his lips presses against your skin there — it’s his tongue, you realize a little belatedly as he licks a slow, careful stripe up your neck, causing a soft, surprised moan to leave you, and the hum that rumbles in his throat as he kisses back down your neck leaves small, tingling patches against your skin.

You also think his mouth is content where it is, but it seems like Mark has a penchant for the unexpected that you’d never been fully aware of, because his lips trace a messy line even further down. When his hands come up your sides, they stop just above your stomach, and you feel his thumbs stretch out, tracing the lower curve of your breasts slowly. You’d planned on saying something — maybe to egg him on (the specifics hadn’t been laid out in your head yet) — but that plan flies out the window when he bends a little more, his lips tracing a small spiral around your nipple before he takes it between his lips.

“Holy shit.” The electric shock of his lips causes you to tighten your fingers slightly on his shaft, and your hand moves at a slightly quicker pace. You’re satisfied to hear the groan that sounds against your skin, even though this triumph is easily overwhelmed by the feeling of him sucking diligently — almost reverently — on your nipple, his hand cupped under your breast with just the right amount of pinch.

The stall is filled with steam now, but with it rises the frequent sounds of your moans and heavy breaths. The water beating down on you makes Mark’s cock interestingly slippery, letting you speed up your strokes with little friction or resistance. The result is amazing; while his head is still bent, lips pressed down on your skin as they move relentlessly against your nipple, you see his hips moving slightly against your hand. You try to push past the haze of pleasure his fingers and mouth on your body are creating and slow your hand to a stop. You’re absolutely fascinated by the fact that even though he makes a soft, slightly questioning noise, his hips are still rocking in minute motions against your hold. Not for the first time, you feel faint in the shower stall; you’d never imagined you’d see Mark fucking himself into your hand, but here you are, witnessing it in high definition, and it’s glorious.

It doesn’t last for long, but it’s still a good enough amount of time before he realizes you’re almost motionless, dazed by the sight. You almost miss his question entirely. “What’s wrong?”

“You,” your words come out breathless. “Are so hot. It’s not fair.”

“You’re kidding, right?” He chuckles softly. You meet his eye now that the mini show is over. He’s looking up at you, wide-eyed and amused, lips still unintentionally grazing against your nipple.

“Can we try something?” You ignore him entirely, but thanks to his general personality, he doesn’t complain; he just nods a little in response. No sooner has he pressed a tiny kiss to your nipple do you back him up against the shower stall’s wall, and he straightens his posture. Your plan is only slightly derailed when he reaches up, cradling your face and landing a brief kiss against your lips. He doesn’t say anything even as he watches you take a small step back before you carefully sink up to your knees or even when you place your palms flush against his thighs. The only time he actually starts asking questions again is when you brush your lips against the tip of his cock, to which he responds with a soft intake of breath.

“What’s the plan here, ___________?”

“I’m going to put your cock in my mouth,” you announce, and you don’t miss how his eyebrows lift slightly. “And you’re going to move your hips. Can we do that?”

“I don’t think I’m going to live through it,” he rasps. “I’m actually two seconds away from a heart attack.”

“Well, hold it in,” you laugh softly, but he doesn’t join in this time; you can tell he’s torn between keeping himself in check and just letting his desire take the reins entirely. He stares down at you, chest rising and falling a little more aggressively. “Come on. Please?”

“I’ve never done that. What if I hurt you?”

“You won’t,” you make the promise for him. “Just do it slowly. I’ll tell you if it’s too much. Please?”

“You know you’re being unfair. It’s really hard to say no when you’re like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like this. Kneeling down in front of me. You know. Begging me,” his hands curl into your hair, making more of a mess of it. When he speaks again, his voice is quieter than ever. “Okay. We can try.”

He doesn’t lead you closer like you think he will with his hold on your hair, so you take the initiative, parting your lips so that your tongue can flick out against the tip of the head. It elicits a shiver that visibly runs through his body, and that’s all the invitation you need to wrap your lips around his cock. His grip tightens minutely, and he looks down at you again, still somewhat concerned. You think it would be kind of stupid to just nod with part of a dick in your mouth, so you squeeze his thighs lightly. Luckily, Mark gets the signal, and with a soft, drawn-out exhale, he starts to move his hips shallowly.

It’s nothing extreme at this point, really; the tip doesn’t even hit the halfway point of your mouth, and he’s moving so carefully that a kid’s gait might outrun him at this rate, but the look on his face is exquisite. Mark in any angle is attractive, and you’ve long come to admit this, but you haven’t been able to decide on which angle is actually his best. You’d always assumed it was his profile, but the view you have now, with him looking down at you, gaze burning, his lips formed around an unspoken ‘o’ of pleasure, has trumped every other angle by a mile.

You still think that him being quiet isn’t so much what you wanted — in fact, the minutes you’ve spent in the shower have not only come to embolden you but have also sparked a weird, internal competitiveness that makes you want to push all of Mark’s buttons until you can find the one that makes him noisy. So far, you’ve gotten a few moans out of him, but nothing that feels satisfying. Even when you roll your tongue against the underside of his cock with every slow pump into your mouth, he doesn’t do much but hum or groan a little, brow furrowed in concentration. You want to egg him on, but you don’t know how, and you’re also not sure how far down his cock you can go before something unfortunate happens.

The solution presents itself when you focus a little less on Mark’s face and more on his cock; more than half of his length is exposed to hot air and water. Your right hand leaves his thigh as your left one gives his thigh another reassuring squeeze, and your fingers once again wrap around the now familiar shape of his shaft just as he rolls them forward.

Mark swears sparingly, especially since he tries to avoid situations that stress him out enough to get him to drop a bomb. For some reason, that just makes it more potent and extreme, like it’s a signal that indicates just how far something’s pushed him. It’s not surprising that you feel some kind of pride swell in your chest when the first out of a long string of fucks suddenly falls from his lips, hoarse and frustrated. His other hand joins the one already tangled in your hair, and there’s an uncharacteristic glassiness in his eyes as he rocks his hips forward with more intent.

“Fuck, ____________,” he slows his litany of curse words with your name, tongue peeking out to catch the water that’s pooled just above his upper lip. “Fuck, you look so hot. What the fuck.”

You can’t respond, so you make a pleased noise in the back of your throat that resonates down his shaft, and he tilts his head back at the feeling. His Adam’s apple bobs dangerously, like he’s swallowed down the rest of his obscenities, and you can’t see much of his face apart from his jawline, which has tensed into a sharp angle.

Your left hand finally leaves his thigh, assured that he won’t need any more guidance, and it finds its way between your legs. You’ve gotten off embarrassingly quickly by imagining Mark like this — moaning, erect, drowning in pleasure because of you — but now that it’s playing out in real time in front of you, you have all the content you could ask for and more. Your fingers find your clit, rubbing it with the same speed his hips are following, and while you haven’t had much practice with your subordinate hand, it doesn’t even matter; you’re so turned on that even half-assed masturbation could probably get you off easily at this point.

You actually think this is how it’s going to end — with Mark fucking into your hand and mouth until he cums, with you fingering yourself until you climax as well — but that fantasy comes to a disappointing halt when he stops moving his hips again, panting as he finally finds the strength to look back down at you. His hands lead your mouth back, easing your lips off his cock as he lets out a soft noise of relief.

“Why’d you stop?” Your mouth feels a little numb, so you stumble over your words somewhat.

“Wa — are you fingering yourself?” He asks, fascinated and now ignoring your question, drawing his head back in a vain attempt to get a better angle.

“You looked so good,” you state, like this should explain everything. “You tasted so good. Why did we stop?”

“As hot as that was, and it was really hot,” he chuckles. “I kind of feel like it’s unfair that you’re keeping your pussy to yourself.”

His voice and words make your chest clench so hard that you can’t even make a noise; your mouth just forms soundlessly around an incredulous oh my god. Mark’s thumb traces your lips as they move.

“Think you can still stand?”

“I don’t know,” you admit. Your calves and thighs had started burning a few minutes into this position, considering you’d spent a good part of the evening before running around and jumping. “If I can’t, will you kneel down with me?“

“Yeah. But let’s try getting you up first.” He takes both of your hands, and you use his hold as leverage, slowly getting to your feet. Your face is impossibly close to his, and his hands are back around your waist. You can see a streak of water slide down his nose, and you lean in to press your lips to the tip, stopping it in its tracks. Mark laughs again, a low rumble of a sound that comes from his chest. “You good?”

You nod, opting to to spend more of your energy on pressing a kiss to his lips again; he returns it without hesitation, but it only lasts very briefly. When he pulls away, you notice that he squeezes your hips a little tighter.

“Turn around,” His voice is still soft, but it’s lost whatever hesitation he’d had before this moment. You follow wordlessly, keeping yourself as close to his form as possible, and his hands never leave your waist, skimming over your stomach. Even if you hear him take a small step back to adjust, you can still feel his cock hard against you, settled between your asscheeks. You press your hips back against his, closing whatever tiny gap he may have made, and you hear him laugh quietly again.

The one regrettable thing about agreeing to turn around is that you can’t see him anymore; his hands move across your skin, rising and falling over the curve of your ass, but you can’t watch him do it without putting a lot of strain on your neck. You have to content yourself with imagining his expression as his fingers dig into your skin lightly, spreading your cheeks apart slightly. At least he makes a sound — a low, appreciative hum that gives you just enough to guess.

He shifts his stance, moving his cock downwards before his hands ease them between your legs; you feel his length pressed up against your folds, and he starts to rock his hips again in the same slow, controlled movements that seem almost trademark. You make the mistake of not keeping your volume in check as you let out a moan, feeling the tip rub against your clit.

Fingers crawl up your stomach, his hands briefly stopping at your chest to squeeze at your breasts. He keeps one hand in place while the other continues its journey, settling gently at the base of your neck. His forefinger stretches upward slightly to press against your lips.

“Someone could hear you.”

“We’re the only people left.”

“You don’t know who could be outside,” he sounds amused at your quick, nonchalant response.

“I don’t think they can hear us from outside. Even if they did, they wouldn’t know who’s in here,” you pause before smiling against his finger. “Unless you want them to.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I can be a little more specific, if that turns you on.”

Mark falls silent, clearly trying to decide how to proceed. His finger traces the shape of your lips before falling lax in front of them, and you take this opportunity to flick your tongue out against it.

You expect him to retract his hand, or something, but you don’t expect his hips to jerk forward a little in surprise, and you let out an even louder moan as his cock skims against your folds. Your thighs close a little more deliberately, adding to the friction.

“Jesus.” His voice is thick, distant, like he’s choked up on something. You can only imagine that he’s probably gritting his teeth, which is a sight you wish you could see, if you weren’t so intent on pushing this newfound button of his.

“Mark,” you breathe out. You feel his cock twitch between your legs. “I want you inside me.”

As soon as you finish your sentence, you part your lips, taking his finger into your mouth. There’s a sharp intake of breath behind you, and you waste no time in bringing your lips down to the knuckle, suckling languidly.

You hear him say something about a heart attack again, but he complies, pulling his hips back so he can align himself to your entrance. In your impatience, you push your hips back. Your moans harmonize as you feel him enter you, and he only waits a moment to collect himself before he’s slowly pushing in, his grip on your breast tightening a little. He’s careful, so careful, like he’s worried if he moves too suddenly you’ll freak out and leave. Reluctantly, you release his finger.

“More,” you murmur when he seems to be slowing to a stop. “I want all of you.”

“You need to relax or something. You’re so fucking tight. Holy shit.”

“You don’t have to act like I’m made of glass,” you laugh softly before letting out a noise of frustration as he actually stops halfway. “Mark.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. But also,” he exhales a little shakily. “This view is nice. Like, really nice.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve been wet since I saw you shirtless outside,” you admit. He makes an amused sound. “Come on. I want to feel all of you stretch my pussy.”

“If you keep talking like this I’m just going to cum on the spot,” he warns. “Is this the kind of dialogue you’ve been imagining we’d have during sex?”

“Sort of.” You don’t even have it in you to sound sheepish; you’ve focused your attention on more pressing matters, like trying to push yourself further along his length. “You’re kind of nastier in my head though. But that’s probably my fault more than yours.”

“Okay, now that just makes me more curious.” His hands realign at your hips before moving backwards, and he spreads your asscheeks again, gripping your flesh a little more tightly as he inches himself forward. You finally let out a soft sigh of relief when you feel his hips flush against yours again, and your walls pulse around him. “Tell me what else you and I say in your head.”

“Why don’t you start moving,” you suggest. “And we’ll see what comes out of my mouth.”

He hums in assent before drawing his hips back and rolling them forward; the soft moan that comes from you is a signal for him to keep going. Mark thrusts in the same manner he seems to do everything in his life — cleanly, carefully, thoroughly. It feels good, but you can also tell he’s holding back, because his grip on your hips is unconventionally tight for his current pace.

It’s actually quiet apart from the intermittent sounds that pass between you; you actually think about saying something dirty, but you put that thought aside when it feels a little too sudden after a silence. You chew on your lip, trying to figure out how to get him to let loose without sounding way too demanding about it. It’s only when you think about Mark’s words — his heightened concern — that you start to pinpoint what the problem is.

“It’s not just about hurting me, is it?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re worried about something else.”

“Is it that transparent?” He chuckles softly, his hips slowing to a stop again. You decide to let it slide this time.

“You were fine before this,” you point out. “You even said—”

“I know, I know.”

“Do you not want to… anymore? It’s okay, you know. If you don’t,” you add quickly.

“Wha — no,” this time, it’s his voice that rises a little. “No, that’s not it at all. I’ve always wanted to — you have no idea how much I’ve…”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know. A while ago, I was kind of in the heat of the moment, and you looked so… so hot, and it was all good, and then, just now, I just realized,” he laughs softly at nothing in particular, but it’s an embarrassed kind of laugh. “I might not live up to your expectations at all.”

You want to throw him a look of disbelief, but you can only turn your head so far sideways, so you can’t see his face fully. You settle with giving him a side eye that you hope translates just how absurd you think he’s being.

“Are you kidding?”

“I don’t want our first time to be disappointing for you,” he continues. “If you have standards, and I don’t meet them, won’t it be too awkward for us after?”

“I really want to look you in the eye right now, but since I like the fact that you’re still inside me while we’re having this conversation, you’re just going to have to imagine me looking a little sternly but affectionately at you,” you instruct, and he snorts softly. “Mark, the one and only standard I have for any fantasy I’ve ever had is that you’re part of it. Since you’re here, I think we can call this a win.”

“So after this…?”

“After this, we’re going to take Donghyuck out for a late dinner, and if we still have the energy after that, you’re going to tell him to sleep in Renjun’s room so I can come over and ride you, or something.”

He’s quiet for a moment before he hums approvingly. “I guess I could roll with that, then.”

“So stop holding back,” you groan. He chuckles, leaning in to press a kiss to your shoulder blade, the act of him nodding causing his lips to brush against your skin. This time, without your prompting, he starts to move his hips again, pulling them back and rolling them back forward with more resolution. “Fuck. Okay, this, I’m on board for.”

His breath cools against your skin as he laughs silently, but it doesn’t last long; he focuses more of his energy on his movements, and you can hear a low groan echo from the back of his throat. His palms move to press against your stomach lightly, but one of them slides further downward. You feel his fingers press against your clit, rubbing it in intense circles that match his pace. You moan low, feeling yourself tighten around him again.

“I guess shower sex has that whole keeping you super wet perk.”

“Nope,” your voice is higher than usual, but it isn’t cracking yet, at least. “That’s all you.”

“Yeah, I kind of just wanted to hear you say it,” he chuckles. Your admission of it seems to renew his confidence, and his thrusts grow sharper, his two fingers spreading your folds so he can rub the middle one along your slit, having it brush against your clit with every upward stroke. You can’t help but squirm a little at the stimulation, but he keeps you firmly in the embrace of his other arm.

“You like hearing how wet you make me?”

“It’s suddenly become my new favorite topic.”

“I’ll be sure to bring it up at every appropriate time,” you promise. “Like when you’re balls deep in me, or something.”

“Great plan,” his voice sounds a little short, but your assumption is just that he’s trying to conserve his breath now that he’s giving it his all. Now that he’s not burdened with irrational worries, he’s fallen into the delicious pattern of drawing his hips back almost until he’s out of you before snapping his hips forward, burying himself back into you until the base. The feeling of being filled doesn’t turn you on as much as the idea of him being the one who’s filling you, and your moans increase in pitch and volume with every thrust. He doesn’t even try to shush you anymore; in fact, you feel like it’s sort of driving him, considering that he seems to move his hips more intensely whenever you moan his name, prolonging the last syllable.

The hot water is starting to run out; you feel even more goosebumps on your back and shoulder as the water starts to cool down. Your teeth are digging hard into your bottom lip because you’re desperately trying to hold back the fact that you’ve been humiliatingly close to cumming since you’d felt his cock against your clit, but you can feel yourself pulsing around him dangerously. Just when you’re about to confess, though, he suddenly pushes his hips harder into you, suddenly stopping with a low groan.

“Mark —��

“Don’t be mad,” he mutters, his voice dangerously low. “But I’ve been holding myself back since you gave me that blowjob.”

“Technically, you fucked my mouth —“

“Yeah, whatever, that really hot thing you did that almost made me blow a load,” he snaps. You feel his cock throb inside you, and you mewl.

“I’m really fucking close too,” you admit, and he doesn’t skip a single beat. His hips jerk up, allowing him to grind his cock into you for one intense second as he pulls your back flush hard against his chest. He buries his face into your shoulder, and you can feel his short, labored breathing as he pumps into you.

You can’t even form coherent sentences to keep egging him on, so you’re just stammering at this point, switching between Mark and so close and a string of obscenities that heightens in volume when you feel yourself tighten right before you reach your peak. Even when your shoulders tense and you fall into a blissful silence in your climax, Mark doesn’t stop, diligently fucking into you in his determination to keep you riding your high. It doesn’t end when you come back down, either, and you’re a whimpering mess in his arms, nails digging into his forearms and repeatedly moaning out how much you want to see him cum.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, and his voice breaks uncharacteristically; he’s close, but he’s still going, his thrusts growing erratic and sharp. “Fuck, _____________.”

“Mark,” you whine, neediness thick in your voice. “Let me blow you again.”

“You feel so good, though,” he whispers reluctantly. “I don’t want to stop.”

“Mark—”

“Shit, I know,” he groans, easing you away. You turn to look at him, and the sight makes your knees weak; his brow is furrowed, and his hand on his cock, stroking it haphazardly. His lips are parted slightly, and he’s staring at you with a burning desire that somehow makes you wish you hadn’t asked him to pull out. You’re so entranced by how he looks that you almost forget why you’d turned around in the first place, and it’s his low, drawn-out moan that snaps you back into focus.

Getting back on your knees, you tug his hand away; it falls back to his side as you replace it with your own hand, stroking his length at a quicker pace. You can see him threatening to tilt backwards, and you call his attention before it can tip all the way.

“Mark,” you breathe out. “Baby, look at me.”

He complies, slowly bending his head and squeezing his eyes shut for a second before opening them to gaze down at you. His pupils are blown out, and water caught on his lips drips down onto your hand and face.

“Tell me where you want to cum.”

“Shit,” he looks dazed; the fact that you’re squeezing him probably isn’t helping. “I — I don’t know.”

“Do you want to cum in my mouth?”

“Oh my god.” He squeezes his eyes shut again. “Fuck. Fuck yes, yes.”

“Look at me when you do,” you press. “I want you to see your cum all over my lips.”

He looks positively overwhelmed at this point, but he opens his eyes again, fixing his stare on your lips, which have parted to kiss his tip. Your tongue peeks out, pressing flat against the underside of his cock as you continue to stroke him, trying to coax him into climaxing.

He starts to rock his hips again, but instead of intensifying his thrusts, he suddenly tenses; his cock twitches against your hold, and you feel the heat of his cum spill onto your tongue and stain your lips. You can tell he really wants to keep his voice down, but he can’t control the long groan that leaves him. Mark’s expression is something straight out of the million fantasies you’ve had, with him unconsciously licking his lips at the same time you lick your own clean. He stands in slightly dumbfounded silence, not breaking eye contact as he watches you swallow.

He doesn’t even say anything as he helps you up, but he does gather you in his arms again. His embrace is tighter than before, and he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, then the bridge of your nose, then finally your lips. His fingers glide down your back, resting naturally just above your ass.

“Holy shit,” he finally manages to cough out as he pulls away.

“For sure,” you agree, and you watch his lips curl up into a grin. “Never had a shower sex fantasy. Not sure why, but I guess I found out what I should have imagined.”

“These fantasies of yours — do you have, like, a list, or—?”

“Only up in here,” you point to your temple, and he pulls out a disappointed expression. “What does it matter?”

“Well, what kind of checklist am I supposed to make now?”

“You want a sex checklist? Can’t it just be spontaneous like this?”

“I’ll have to work on it.” He reaches behind you, taking the soap from the holder and pressing the flat of it against your back before rubbing it in gentle, circular motions. “It would be nice to have a guide, though, so I’m not repeating myself, or whatever. For example, we can’t have shower sex again tomorrow. That would just be lazy planning.”

“You don’t need a guide,” you say dismissively. “But I’m kind of into the fact that you already think we’re going to fuck again tomorrow.”

“Are we not?”

“We are. That’s why I’m into it.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When you come out of the boys’ locker room, Donghyuck is standing by the door, arms folded across his chest. He’s visibly miffed and bursts into an enraged whisper when you step out, followed by Mark.

“You guys were in there for an hour! The janitor came and tried to lock the door. Thank god he said there was a ghost inside and he went to the chapel to get the priest. What took you so long?”

“There was only one shower,” Mark says simply. “The girls’ locker room didn’t have any hot water.”

“You take like ten minutes showering,” Donghyuck accuses him before turning to you. “And you hate long showers because they make your fingers wrinkly. Two showers back to back don’t equal an hour in there.”

“We didn’t take back to back showers,” you reply, equally monotone.

The three of you stand in silence, with Mark only moving to close the door behind him. Donghyuck points a slim finger at him, then at you, then at the door. Finally, it makes its way back to you, and his jaw drops a little as the pieces fall into place.

“You’re the ghost?”

“Hey, I wasn’t the only one making noise in there.”

“I wasn’t that loud,” Mark defends himself, hugging his jacket closer to his chest. Donghyuck shakes his closed umbrella, the droplets flying around.

“You guys made me stand out here and try to talk the janitor into getting a different mop while you had locker room sex?”

“Technically, it was shower sex. Locker room sex sounds too public,” you correct him, and he makes a disbelieving noise.

“Weren’t you the one pressuring me into admitting I had feelings for her?” Mark frowns, and Donghyuck freezes, his mouth still open from the words he had been about to say. Your eyes widen, and it’s your turn to point an accusing finger at him.

“You told Mark what?”

“He said I needed to confess or some other guy on the team would beat me to it.” Mark inhales sharply at his following realization. “There isn’t another guy on the team, is there?”

“Technically, we don’t know who has feelings for her on the team, so I might not have been lying so much as guessing with only little information,” Donghyuck sounds decidedly less hostile now. Mark rolls his eyes.

“You told me to just get laid!” You recall, and Donghyuck flinches.

“I didn’t mean right now in the damn showers while I waited for you out here for eons. I was thinking, like, one of you would confess, and then you’d go on a date later in the week, and if things go well then you’d kick me out of the room so you could bone, or something. It’s not my fault you guys made it sound like a scene from the exorcist in there.”

“We didn’t— okay, you know what?” You snatch his umbrella, and he lets it go without much resistance. “Let’s just go back. Come on, Mark.”

You open the umbrella, the remnants of the rain flying outwards as you do. Mark takes the handle from you, and you both march away, leaving Donghyuck behind in front of the boys’ locker room.

You’re halfway across the field when Mark speaks up in a low voice.

“We can’t leave him there.”

“I know. I’m just trying to spook him.”

You both stop, turning to face Donghyuck, who’s still by the locker rooms. He’s clearly watching you, though, because the moment he sees you looking at him, he makes a run for it, his long legs carrying him across the grass at top speed. He’s huffing when he arrives, and he throws his arms around the both of you so he can minimize the space he takes up under the umbrella.

When you reach the parking lot, Donghyuck speaks up.

“So, was it just one round in there, or what?”

#mark smut #mark lee smut #nct smut #mark x you #mark x reader #mark scenarios #mark scenario #mark imagines #mark imagine #mark drabble #mark drabbles #nct scenarios #nct scenario #nct imagine #nct imagines #nct drabble #nct drabbles

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najenvhs · 5 months

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how do you think jaemin would treat their partner?

WHERE DO I BEGIN (also perfect timing because these photos dropped and its all i can think about ㅠㅠ)

☆ na jaemin would be THE BEST partner ever i know it, i can count on it! [AHHHH] he’s just so thoughtful and caring and really thinks before he does.

i feel like if he saw you asleep on the couch he would most definitely make sure a blanket is over you and have a water on the table waiting for when you wake up.

he would have so many pet names for you princess/prince being his favorite one to call you of course.

i think while out shopping he would pay for all of your purchases and would not allow you to hold any of the bags. i feel like too that after each time he swipes his card he would look at you and kiss you on the cheeks because its what you deserve.

when you two are in bed together he pulls you into him, close to his warm chest (your favorite place for your head to rest) he runs his fingers through your hair as the two of you talk about whatever is on the both of your minds drifting off to sleep.

would be very cautious of your health, and making sure you take your probiotics and vitamins— making sure you are staying warm during the winter and hydrated during the summer

always letting you rest your head on his shoulder

always taking your side when you’ve had a bad day

picking you up from the train station after you get out of work because hates the idea of you walking anywhere alone. and if he cant make it he will make sure you face-time/call him during the walk.

you sit in his lap all the time even in-front of all the other members. instead of kissing or hugging this is how you guys show off to them.

would take you on trips, and on them you guys would go to coffee shops, museums, historic places. but he will have his camera out pointed at you (l feel like he would want to be one of those aesthetic couple influencers on instagram)

mdi

i feel like while having sex with him (and not to popular belief), he would take in every moment and be gentle to make sure you feel good too.

i kinda feel like if you tell him you are going out with your friends and he sees you dressed sexy he would fuck you right then and there before you are aloud to leave, not out of jealousy but just because of how good you look.

would love morning sex because it means he gets to see you with the sun rays hitting all the right places.

i also feel like he is so open to trying new things in bed that are either proposed by jaemin or you. (i know this is contradicting what i just said but i know he’s a freak in the sheets sometimes to spice things up)

AFTERCARE !!!!! is HIS THING! i feel like he would be so caring ask you if what he did just moments ago was good and if there is anything he need to change. getting you water but making sure you go to the restroom and take a shower (sometimes he will join, sometimes for a second round and sometimes just to make sure you don’t fall over) then tucking you in as you fall fast asleep.

— over all i think he would be such a WONDERFUL partner like i feel it in my bones every time i look at this man he would treat you so well. he just makes it easy to think this with all the bubble messages (almost every day) that nctzens receive saying “you did a good job today, sleep well and stay warm” YEAH also him putting money aside for a 401k and pension plan is so fucking hot 🤕 its the little things he does that makes it so easy for me to invision all of this.

sorry for this long post hopefully this answers the question

please feel free to leave something in my ask

#najenvhs—ask♡#nct dream #nct headcanons #nct smut #nct imagines #nct drabbles #nct dream imagines #na jaemin #nct scenarios

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taey0ngsvape · 1 year

Text

my favorite girls

“and when you come home, i’ll be waiting with open arms”

pairing: chenle x fem!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 4.2k

contains: cursing, kissing, cuddling, lots of caring for daegal, so many ‘i love you’s’

summary: you watch daegal while chenle is on tour

i wrote this after writing saying goodbye to txt before they go on tour because the concept was too good to pass up, though i did get a little carried away (it was not supposed to be this long lol) but i really hope you enjoy!

You couldn’t lie, you were nervous.

Nervous for a number of reasons. Your boyfriend was going away on tour for almost two months, which would be the longest time you’ve ever been apart. It’s also the furthest physical distance you’ve been away from each other. And while he’s away he’s tasked you with taking care of Daegal, who sometimes you swear he loves more than you.

Daegal was a sweetheart but even after the significant amount of time you’ve spent at Chenle’s apartment, she has yet to really warm up to you. And now you're going to be the one taking care of her for two months. So no, it’s not really your fault that you’re nervous.

You show up at Chenle’s apartment an hour before he’s supposed to leave for the airport. Unfortunately for the two of you, your work and all the preparations for his departure prevented you from being able to come any earlier, which meant you hadn’t gotten to sleep next to him the night before he leaves for two months. Still, you put on a brave face. You know how excited he is about going on tour.

He opens the door and lets you into the apartment, his two suitcases already by the door. Daegal trots over to you and you kneel down to let her sniff your hand for a few seconds before she seems satisfied and nuzzles against your hand.

“Hello Darling,” you say softly, feeling her soft fur under your hand.

“Do I get a hello?” Chenle asks, crossing his arms. You playfully roll your eyes and stand up.

“Hello,” you say to him, a cheeky smile on your face.

“Just ‘hello?’”

You roll your eyes again. “Hello baby, honey, light of my life. Is that better?”

“It’s acceptable,” Chenle hums before pulling you into his arms, giving you a quick kiss before folding you into a hug. You smile to yourself, slipping your arms around his waist and holding him close, breathing in the scent of his shampoo and enjoying the warmth of being pressed against his chest.

When he lets you go he leads you to the kitchen where there’s a small breakfast laid out for the two of you. You can’t help but smile and kiss his cheek before taking a seat.

“Are you excited?” you ask, filling your plate.

“Yeah, it’s been so long since our last concert in the US. And after the show here in Seoul… I’m just really excited to get back on stage.”

You smile. You were at the Seoul show, you’d actually gotten tickets with a friend for somewhere in the lower bowl so you could experience what the concert would be like as a fan and the whole time you couldn’t take your eyes off Chenle. He was such a captivating performer and with the rest of the boys they made the show unforgettable. You knew they’d bring the same incredible performance to America.

“I’m sure the fans are just as excited. You’re so captivating on stage.”

Chenle just smiles at you and continues to eat.

“You know,” you say. “Nctzens are great, but at the end of the day I’m your biggest fan. No one is cheering for you harder than me.”

Chenle sets down his fork and looks up at you.

“You are so incredibly talented, but you’re a good person too,” you tell him, taking his hand. “And I am so so lucky to be yours.”

Chenle swallows and then squeezes your hand before he starts to speak.

“You are… you’re everything to me, you know that?” he asks. “You’re so smart and you always know how to make me laugh. You’re unbelievably kind to everyone around you, even when they don’t deserve it. And you’re beautiful. Breathtaking.”

“Please keep going.”

On any other day, Chenle would narrow his eyes at you and tease you about wanting his attention, but today is different. This is his last chance to say all these things to you in person before he’s whisked halfway across the world for two months, so he takes it.

“You’re so special. You’re different from anyone I’ve ever met. You’re so attentive and understanding. You care so deeply that sometimes it hurts you, but that doesn’t stop you from caring anyway. Your heart is the biggest I’ve ever seen and the fact that you gave that heart to me… I feel so lucky every day to be yours. I’m glad you’re happy to be mine too.”

The confession catches you off guard but in the best way and you can’t keep the smile off your face. You want to tease him with something along the lines of you’re so obsessed with me but you hold it back because he’s just poured his heart out to you.

“I love you,” you say, squeezing his hand. “So much. And I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” he says. “More than I can tell you.”

“But it’s only two months. And it’ll be over before we know it. And the whole time you’re going to have such an amazing experience and I’m so proud of you.”

You’re pretty sure that Chenle is holding back tears now but you don’t acknowledge it. You’re not much better off.

“I love you,” Chenle says softly. “So so so much.”

You blink the tears out of your eyes and get up to walk around the table and sit down in Chenle’s lap. Before he has a chance to protest, you kiss him. You can feel his shoulders relax under your hands and he kisses you tenderly. It’s not rushed or messy, it’s gentle and sweet. It says I love you without words. His lips are soft and warm and you can’t help but selfishly wish that this moment could last forever. But that’s the thing about time, it always keeps moving.

It feels like mere seconds have passed instead of the remaining hour until his departure, which is filled with cleaning the kitchen, last minute packing, and plenty of stolen kisses. But it’s all over far too soon and you’re standing back at his door, bidding him a final farewell.

He pulls you into a hug. “You’re gonna have fun without me,” he says and you can hear the pout in his voice.

You laugh. “You’ll have fun too. And then when you come back we can talk all about it.”

Chenle hugs you closer. “Deal.”

He lingers a bit after that, holding you in his arms and kissing you every so often until finally his phone rings and he’s finally forced to leave.

When the door closes behind him you let the brave face drop, taking a shaky breath.

Everything is going to be alright, you tell yourself soothingly and take a few deep breaths. You’ll be able to call him often and see plenty of videos of him performing. It’s only two months, that’s not so bad. But you can’t deny that you miss him already.

At your feet, Daegal slumps onto the floor and you smile sympathetically, sitting down next to her. “Do you miss your dad?” you ask, scratching her ears. “Me too,” you tell her. For a few minutes you sit in silence, letting a few tears fall, but in the end, you calm yourself down. You know Chenle wouldn’t want you to be upset and there’s no point in wallowing in your longing.

So you push yourself off the floor and search for the pet carrier that Chenle uses whenever he has to take Daegal to the vet. After taking it from the closet (the third closet you searched) you find Daegal curled up on the carpet in the living room.

“You ready for an adventure sweet girl?” you ask, gently lifting her off the floor and leading her into the cage. As soon as the door closes she’s whining and you try to shush her in a way that would be comforting. “You’re alright honey,” you say, but when she’s still whimpering after five minutes you take pity on her and instead clip on a collar and leash before leading her out of the apartment.

She follows you, somewhat reluctantly, to your car and you can’t help but feel the nerves creeping back in. What if you couldn’t make Daegal happy? Yes, she was important to Chenle, but she was important to you too and all you wanted was to make these two months feel less lonely for her.

You put Daegal in the back seat of your car, but by the time you’ve gotten into the car, she’s climbed her way into the passenger seat next to you. She sits down and stares at you, panting slightly. You sigh and let yourself break into a grin.

“Alright passenger princess,” you say, petting her head before turning on the car.

The drive back to the house you’re renting feels longer than usual, probably because of the added stress of having Daegal in the car with you. Every time you slow down or speed up you had to be extra careful so she wouldn’t fall off the seat. But you both make it home in one piece and you let out a sigh of relief once you pull into your driveway.

You carry Daegal inside and hang up the leash by the door, letting her explore the house while you set up food and water for her. At this point it’s almost six a.m and you still haven’t slept so you drag yourself upstairs, forcing yourself to take off your makeup before throwing on one of Chenle’s old t-shirts and heading to bed.

In your room, Daegal is curled up on your blankets toward the end of your mattress. Once you slip under the covers, she gets up and makes her way over to you, curling up next to your side. It surprises you a little, but you smile softly and stroke her soft fur for a good five minutes before finally turning out the light.

You force yourself to get up at noon in an attempt to not fuck your sleep schedule up too badly. After breakfast (the second one today) you change out of your pajamas and clip on Daegal’s collar.

“Let’s go on a walk,” you say as you attach the leash. “I promise I’ll keep it short.”

You know that Daegal doesn’t leave the apartment super often, so she doesn’t have a lot of opportunities to go on walks. You expected her to get tired quickly, but a mile out from your house she’s still happily trotting along the sidewalk, so you let her lead the way, not caring if you’ll have to carry her back.

She actually makes it halfway back home before getting tired and you don’t complain as you pick her up and hold her to your chest so she can rest her head on your shoulder as you carry her the rest of the way home.

This becomes a daily routine. After waking up you’d take Daegal outside, whether it be a walk around the neighborhood or to a nearby park to let her run around, you devoted time every day to take her somewhere and you can see how much more comfortable she is around you as the days pass.

When you come home from work she’ll be waiting by the door and every night she curls up by your side. Whenever you’re at home, she’s always nearby, which is especially nice whenever you’re on FaceTime with Chenle and he asks to see her.

Today, he calls a little later than usual and after asking about your day and telling you about his own he (as always) asks to see Daegal, so you turn your phone so the camera is pointing at the sleeping dog, pressed against your side.

“How are you guys getting along?” Chenle asks. “She seems awfully comfy.”

You smile. “I’ve been taking her outside a lot. She likes going to the park and chasing birds,” you share, which makes Chenle laugh.

“She’s going to love you more than me at this rate.”

You grin. “I think she already does,” you tell him, gently petting Daegal’s head. “How’s tour going?” you ask.

“It’s been amazing so far. A little busy, especially since we have a show tomorrow but being on stage… it makes it all worth it.”

You can’t help but smile. “Good. I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

Chenle hums. “Yeah, well it sounds like you and Daegal have been having a pretty good time without me.”

You laugh. “She really loves me now. I think she was hesitant at first.”

“Well, I’m glad you two are getting along. And I’m happy you’re doing well. I…” he sighs. “I miss you a lot.”

You smile. “I miss you too,” you say. “But hey, we’re almost halfway done already. Then you’ll come home and both Daegal and I will be waiting.”

Chenle smiles at that. “I’ll be counting down the days.”

As the days pass you’re able to stay relatively busy, filling any time that you’re not at work with Daegal or your friends. Once, while at the park you run into your best friend with her own dog next to her.

“Hey Mina!” you greet and then wave to her dog, a spaniel whose exact breed you don’t remember. “Hi Luna.”

Mina gives you a hug and smiles down at Daegal. “Who’s this?” she asks, leaning down to pet her.

“This is Daegal,” you say. “She’s my boyfriend’s dog.”

“Ah yes,” Mina says. “The mysterious boyfriend that you legally can’t tell me anything about.”

You laugh. “That’s the one.”

Mina smiles at you, a twinkle in her eye, because despite your inability to actually talk about your relationship, you still go to Mina whenever you need advice and she always listens.

Luna and Daegal sniff at each other before deeming the other as friendly and you both let them run around in the field as you sit and talk.

“How are things going with mystery boy?” she asks.

“He’s away right now,” you tell her. “A work trip.”

She nods. “For how long?”

“Two months, but it’s already been almost five weeks, so we’ve made it through the first half. He calls almost every day so it hasn’t been so bad without him.”

“Good, I’m glad you’re doing well. And I mean, taking care of his dog… that sounds pretty serious.”

You smile at Daegal who’s currently chasing Luna across the grass. “I was kind of surprised he trusted me to do it. She’s like his baby.”

Mina nods. “I get it. I wouldn’t leave Luna with just anybody. But you seem to be doing a pretty good job.”

You grin. “I’m having a better time than I thought I would. I was just so nervous she didn’t like me, or at least, not enough to keep her from feeling lonely. But she’s been happy and it’s nice having her around.”

Mina smiles at you and leans over to rest her head on your shoulder. “I love seeing you happy, you know that?”

You smile and let your cheek rest against her. “I do know that. I feel the same with you.”

“I’m always here for you,” she says happily. “And if mystery boy ever hurts you I’ll make sure he regrets it, I don’t care who he is.”

You laugh at that.

“But, in my humble opinion, I don’t think he will. He seems like he’s in this for the long run, and if he makes you happy then he has my approval.”

“Your approval?” you tease.

“Of course,” she says. “All boyfriends must be approved by the best friend. It’s just… girl code.”

You grin. “Well then, I’m glad you approve.”

“Do you think I’ll ever get to meet him?” she asks.

You honestly have wondered the same thing. He’s already met your family, though that still required some paperwork and negotiations with SM, but you didn’t see why your best friend should be any different. Ever since you first arrived in Korea, she’d been by your side. She was like a sister to you and you hoped that maybe you could talk to someone at the company and figure out a way to introduce her to Chenle.

“I hope so,” you say. “I really hope so.”

After the day at the park you reach out to a member of SM’s legal team about letting Mina meet Chenle and while the discussion was an ongoing one, it seemed like the odds were in your favor. You told Chenle about it as soon as you could and he assured you he would do everything he could to convince them to let Mina meet him.

“So… is she nice?” Chenle asks, even though you’ve talked about Mina to him countless times.

“Yes? You’ve already heard like… everything about her.”

Chenle sighs. “I know, but I want her to like me. What if she doesn’t think I’m good enough and sends like… the mafia after me or something.”

You laugh. “I don’t think she has any connection with the mafia. Besides, she already gave you her Best Friend Seal of Approval so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“Really?” he asks.

“She sees how happy you make me and that’s all she cares about.”

Chenle smiles. “Well, I’m glad I make you happy.”

“Yeah, though she did also say that if you ever hurt me she’ll make you regret it. She didn’t say how but I don’t think that’s something you want to find out.”

Chenle groans. “Why would you tell me that? Now I’m going to be scared of her.”

You laugh. “Hey, as long as you don’t fuck this up, you don’t have to be.”

“Good,” he says. “Because I’m never going to let you go. I’m never going to hurt you or deliberately make you sad. I’m here to make you happy because you do the same for me.”

You smile. “See? Nothing to worry about.”

“You make my life so much better, you know that?”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “You make mine better too. Brighter.”

“I can’t wait to see you,” he says.

“Four days,” you reply, butterflies in your stomach. Four days until he’s in your arms again.

“I don’t know if I’ll survive.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Whatever,” he says. “You love me anyway.”

“Yeah yeah, I love you.”

He smiles contently. “Goodnight baby,” he says.

“Aren’t you going to say it back?” you ask and he just gives you a cheeky smile and ends the call. Immediately, you text him.

chenle

ZHONG CHENLE

SAY IT BACK

But I’m the dramatic one?

say it back :(

I love you

Goodnight love

night lele

The final days pass by in a blur and suddenly it’s the night before he’s supposed to be back. You crawl in bed and Daegal huddles up next to you like always. Before you go to sleep, you send Chenle a text. He’ll have already boarded his flight by now, but he’ll receive it once he lands.

lele, my love! i just wanted to tell you how proud i am of you. you did so well this tour and i can tell you gave every single performance all your effort. i admire you so much (i’m sure you know that). i’ve missed you so much. so so so so so much. but i know that in a few hours you’ll be back so i feel okay. before you left you told me i was everything to you, and i wanted to tell you that you’re my everything too. you make me laugh even when it’s hard and you’re a good listener when i need it. you’re hardworking and trustworthy and incredibly loyal. and you’re so loving, even if it’s not in the “traditional” way. you show your love differently, and to me that makes it even more special. it really is a privilege to be loved by you. and i can’t wait to see you. i love you and i’ll (finally!!) see you soon.

You’re pretty tired as you type it all out, unsure if it makes sense or not, but in the end, you press send and plug in your phone before turning out the light. You pet Daegal for a few minutes until your eyes finally close.

“Baby?”

You blink the sleep out of your eyes. Your bedroom is still dark, the only light is from the streetlamp outside but the sky is still pitch black. You sit up and let your eyes adjust. Standing in the doorway is Chenle, his hair sticking up in a few places and his t-shirt wrinkled. When your eyes meet, he breaks into a grin.

“Lele,” you breathe, your eyes welling up with tears as you open your arms. In a second, he’s there, climbing into bed next to you so he can hug you properly. He smells like home and even wearing his clothes isn’t anything like this. His hold is strong and he’s warm and real and you don’t bother to try and stop yourself from crying.

Next to you, Daegal is yapping excitedly, clambering onto Chenle’s lap and he laughs, the sound sending you into another round of sobs because it’s different hearing it in person.

“Hello,” he says to Daegal, scratching her ears. “I hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

He turns his attention back to you and cups your face in his hands, brushing away your tears. “Alright crybaby, it’s okay.” You can’t help but smile at that because he’s right, everything is okay. He’s here, he’s home with you again. So yeah, you’re more than okay.

“I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow?” you ask.

“We managed to catch an earlier flight. And I got your text and I just had to see you but you weren’t at the apartment so I came here. Sorry for barging in,” he says sheepishly. “I didn’t realize you’d be sleeping.”

You smile and shake your head. “I’m glad you came.”

“Me too,” he says, leaning in to kiss you and you smile against his lips.

The two of you end up going back to bed for a few more hours before you wake up at nine and drag him out of bed with you to make him breakfast.

“I’ll probably have to take Daegal out after this, we usually go for a walk every morning,” you say, flipping a pancake on the stove. “You know, maybe tomorrow morning we can get up early and take Daegal to the park. That way there won’t be a ton of people and we can just go on a walk together. I even taught her to play fetch but it only works with tennis balls. I tried throwing her a stick the other day and she just kinda looked at me like, ‘what the fuck was that?’ But I figure if we go early enough we can spend an hour or so there and we won’t have to worry so much about someone recognizing you,” you ramble. When you receive no response, you turn to look at Chenle, wondering if maybe he’s fallen asleep at the table.

Instead, you find him staring at you, an unreadable expression on his face. “What?” you ask, slightly nervous. Had you said something wrong? Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to suggest going out together.

“I’m going to marry you someday,” he says, which was not at all what you were expecting to hear.

“What?” you repeat, still shocked.

“You already know that you’re the love of my life. Plus you take care of me, like forcing me to get up so I can eat something. And you’re a great cook. And you love Daegal like she’s yours, taking her on walks and going to the park. Even I haven’t done some of those things. So, naturally, I want to marry you.”

“Alright lover boy, let’s slow down a bit there,” you say with a smile, pretending that your heart isn’t about to beat out of your chest.

“Is that a no?” he asks.

“It’s a… ask me again later. And by later I mean in a year at least.”

Chenle shrugs. “Fine by me,” he says. “I’ll put it in my calendar.”

You roll your eyes and return to your cooking, transferring the finished pancake onto a plate before taking the bacon out of the pan and letting it cool on a tray. You break of a tiny piece and lean down to hold it out to Daegal, who happily accepts.

When you look back at the table Chenle is lounging in the chair with a smile on his face.

“What?” you ask.

“I’m just happy,” he says. “I’m here with my two favorite girls. I feel like I’m in heaven.”

You smile. “I’m happy too. I’m really glad you’re here. Home.”

His smile widens. “Home.”

#nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct fluff #nct dream scenarios #chenle imagines #chenle fluff #chenle scenarios #clare’s fics🌸

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seuykn · 1 month

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the way i would i would let him **** me till my **** give out and then he would **** me out on the bed and then **** my back out.

#kpop #kpop bg #nct #nct dream #i love being a nctzen #nct jeno #he can choke me #i’m so sorry #i can’t help myself #he’s so fine #drooly mess #lee jeno #jeno icons

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mazeofyeni · 9 months

Text

(🔴) ... [ NOW PLAYING ] [NCTZEN-MADE] CECE BEING LOVED BY NCT !

❛intro❜ : if you ever think you’re the best cece stan , that you love her more than anything – remember you will never love her as much as nct does 🥰

CLIP ONE !

nct 127 simping over cece

*cece coming to visit the nct 127 members on set* “cece is on set today , she’s come to visit me” *doyoung side eyeing haechan* “she’s here to see everyone , stop lying to the camera.” *jaehyun crushing haechans delusions💔* *yuta wrapping his arms around cece* “are you on your way home?” *shaking her head* “me mark and johnny oppa are going to a concert.” *🐰 hearing this* “yah ! but everytime i ask if you want to eat , you’re alway busy.” *angry doie* *127 laughing at doyoungs pain once again* “we’ll get food soon oppa” *happy doie* “your outfit looks nice , you might get cold though.” *taeyong being a worried mother , fixing her shirt* “and this skirt is too short , be careful,” *cece is embarrassed* “oppa.” *127 cooing at her* “i’m embarrassed.” *johnny finally coming back* *handing her a jacket😭😭*!”dreamies have a schedule tomorrow and you don’t need to be sick.” “mark asked the staff for it don’t worry” *mark taking care of cece a never ending saga* “okay have fun , don’t stay out to long cece.” *mark and johnny are confused* “oh yeah you two stay safe , don’t let her go to far alone” *taeyong does not gaf about all that just that his child is safe😭*

CLIP TWO !

wayv trying to steal cece from nct dream

*preparing for nct 2020* *yangyangs first time talking about her ever on camera* “cece is here now.” *points camera* “where.” *ten coming from the wood works* “cece , my baby!” *ten and his i raised cece agenda* “come my baby.” *this was the first time we’ve seen cece and wayv in the same frame* “wayv!” *czennies were shocked , we didn’t think they knew each other 😭/hj* “she’s our new wayv member , we’re stealing her from the dreamies.” *hendery is deadass* “yeah i’m learning chinese , give me a few months , i’ll be in the new comeback.” *dreamies are across the studio sobbing right now* “i’ll be the maknae though , that means kun has to do everything for me and not you yang yang.” *kun is in shock* “i don’t mind.” *hendery tryna figure out why yangx2 isn’t being a menace* *ten peeping it too* “oh i have to go , i’ll see you guys.” *walks away* “our yangyang is growing up.” *yangx2 is embarrassed 😭*

CLIP THREE !

cece being too cute for the dreamies

*context: cece was in the states during the dreamies 7th anniversary so she couldn’t attend the live* *jeno actively talking**mark laughing* “cece is trying to facetime me.”*the dreamies completely forgetting the objective at hand* “answer it” *like okay haechan calm down😭* *answers it* “i just dyed my hair , does it look pretty?” *mark being the first person she calls is so cute🥹* *a little more context: she doesn’t know they’re live-streaming* “we’re live ce.” “i’m sorry , i’ll call you back .” *dreamies still hyping her up* “no it’s okay , you still look pretty” “thank you” “she’s so cute” *jisung forgetting he has a mic on* “cece say hi to the camera” “hello czennies , it’s our 7 years as nct dream , thank you for staying with us this long , sorry i can’t be there , i hope to see you guys soon.” *the staff behind the camera are confused but let go* “alright we have to go , i’ll call you later.” “mm okay , love you.” *mark we see that smile* “that was our cece” *our cece🥹😭*

CLIP FOUR ! (💬nia’s notes: text like this - eng)

cece and her representative oppa johnny

*cece doing a live* “i haven’t been able to do lives , so im glad i can do this.” *phone rings* “it’s johnny oppa” *look at that smile🥹* *answers it* “hello?” “where are you?” “on the 7th floor.” “oh you’re at the company , good.” *hangs up* *confused cece* “what is wrong with him?” *shrugs* “oh well.” *5 minutes later* “the door flys open , scaring her” *johnny cackling is so sinister* “oppa!” *she’s stressed* “your face was so funny” *cece rethinking her life choices* “what do you want?” *hands her a bag* “these are the snacks you wanted , i thought you left , i was gonna give them to manager to give it to you , but since you’re here i brought it so that i could see you.” *johnny please🥹* “ah , thank you thank you.” “did you settle in okay?” *talking about her moving into her own apartment* “i still need to put my couch together , i tried to do it with renjun but we didn’t get anywhere.” *johnny to the rescue* “i’ll come the next time i’m not busy” *princess treatment* “i’ll treat you for your help” “don’t worry about it , you need a couch , i have to go , i’ll call soon.” *head pats , look at the fucking head pats😭💔* “bye bye”

CLIP FIVE !

chenle simping for cece

*dance practice bts* “everyone take a break” *chenle sits down on the floor* *cece sees her target* “chenle” *get y’all someone who smiles at you like that😭* *lays down on the floor , her head in his lap💔* “i’m hungry.” *look at that pout , she knows how to play the game* “hungry , what do you want?” *chenle about to leave practice to get her food* “ramen?” *shakes head* “chicken?” *shakes head* “what then?” *cece shrugs* *his ass can’t even be frustrated because he’s so in love he can’t help but smile* *grabs her cheeks* “ah cute! i’ll get you something after okay?” *he’s so in love🥰*

❛outro❜ : there are so many more clips but i’ll leave it here , i’m just glad our cece has a bunch of people who love and appreciate her ❗️ , she’s so loved💔😭.

©️MAZEOFYENI

#fictional idol addition #fictional idol community #fictional idol oc #fictional kpop community #fictional kpop oc #fictional kpop idol #nct female addition #nct addition #nct dream female member #nct dream addition #nct dream 8th member #nct 24th member #nct female member #nct female oc #nct dream female addition #cece (content)

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avianyuh · 2 months

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Hey can i get one with nct127 members, commenting their gf ig posts<3

NCT 127 Commenting on their Girlfriend's Instagram Post

[A/N: Because of the public nature of social media, I would assume that in this scenario, the relationship would be public, so that's how I'm writing this piece, hope you enjoy!]

Taeil:

You had gone on a trip with a few friends for the weekend. Taeil had stayed home. He missed you even though you were texting back and forth the whole time. You had gone to a series of places with your friends, taking pictures of all of them.

It wasn't until the last day of your trip, two weeks without seeing Taeil, that you had posted your favorite pictures onto your instagram account.

Since Taeil is usually pretty quiet, he doesn't normally comment on your posts. But when your phone started blowing up an hour after you had posted your trip highlights, you were surprised to see a comment by your boyfriend.

Looks like fun!, Was all he commented. And of course, his fans were all in the replies which made you smile. He really must miss you.

Johnny:

You had just been out shopping with Johnny and was excited to try on this new outfit that you'd bought. You ran straight through the door when you got home and immediately tried on your new outfit.

Johnny stood outside of the bedroom door as you changed.

"Are you done yet?", he called out.

"Yep. Close your eyes", you said through the door.

You opened it, sticking one leg out first before fully emerging. You stood on your tippy toes and uncovered Johnny's eyes.

"Voila", you said with jazz hands for dramatic effect. Johnny playfully raised his eyebrows beofe swiftly pulling out his phone and taking a picture as you posed, playing along.

Johnny is definitely the type to be all over your instagram. As we all know, this boy loves his fashion. So, no surprise that he's the type to want to get all dressed up with you, take a bunch of photos and then comment on your pictures with something like:

Where did you get the inspiration👀

Taeyong:

Taeyong is definitely one of the more vocal members when it comes to social media. So it was pretty common for him to leave a few comments on your posts.

In this particular instance, he had left a comment to take credit for a photo you had posted that he had taken of you.

You had been out at a restaurant while on vacation together. You had been looking over the menu and kept pointing at different things you wanted to try. Getting all surprised and gasping every time you read something out that seemed interesting to you.

This was all very amusing to your boyfriend who decided to sneakily grab his phone and take a photo of the moment. He didn't show you the photo until you guys were back at home and looking through all the pictures you had each taken from the trip.

You had laughed and at first asked him to delete it. But it seemed to grow on you since you ended up posting it.

Taeyong's comment read: Hey, you forgot to credit the photographer!

Yuta:

*I'm divided on if he'd be the type to be loud and proud about his relationship or would want to keep things private. Personally, I think he'd lean toward the private side*

Yuta rarely comments on your posts. But he does like all of them, which nctzens always take notice of. In this instance, you also weren't big on posting a lot on social media. But after spending a day at home with your boyfriend, one that you wanted to remember by capturing a picture of the two of you on the couch...you had no intention of posting it.

UNTIL, it was your anniversary. Like many couples do, you posted multiple photos, the first one being that picture from the day off you had spent together.

And because it was an anniversary post, Yuta responded: I love you

*Yeah I see him as the type to be straight to the point. The man can tell a joke but with you, he just loves to make everyone aware of how much he loves you*

Doyoung:

Also very subtle, doesn't really comment on your posts usually. In this case, he had been busy with work and hadn't seen you in awhile. Don't get it twisted though, you spoke on the phone, FaceTimed and texted as much a possible. But he did miss you a lot and so did you.

He had been scrolling through his Instagram one day while taking a break during practice and saw your new picture.

Just one of yourself, smiling into the camera.

He couldn't help himself, his fingers immediately began typing: I miss you, save the smile for me!

Jaehyun:

Pretty boi here is no stranger to Instagram. Actually it's usually you commenting on his posts, not the other way around.

Long story short, the two of you had gotten in a fight. Funnily enough, you didn't even remember what had started it. However, you do remember Jaehyun storming out and not returning your call the next day.

You knew it would pass but you were still worried that he was mad when you hadn't heard from him. But that was until you had gone out with a friend to get your mind off of the fight with your boyfriend. You had a nice dinner, but you drank a little too much and drunkily posted a picture of your friend and you.

The next morning after you woke up, you checked your phone to see that it had been blowing up with notifications.

I hope you had fun👍 was all his comment said, bit you knew it was his weird way of saying he was ready to talk.

Jungwoo:

The two of you had gone on a date, taken some pictures and uploaded them. Fans connected the dots, noticed the locations were the same and were uploaded on the same day.

Jungwoo thought it was a funny situation so to add to the fans hysteria, he commented:

That was fun!

Mark:

Mark, though never shy with you in private, was very shy when it came to PDA. So he never really commented on your posts.

However, when you uploaded a photo you had taken of yourself, nothing fancy, he couldn't help but support his girlfriend.

He would comment something like:

So beautiful

Donghyuk:

Would definitely be pretty open about your relationship, which would show a lot on instagram.

I think he would comment on your posts all of the time. In this case, it would be a photo that you posted of the two of you together. And I think Donghyuk would be pretty comical when it came to his comments.

I look better than you in this

[A/N 2: I haven't used gifs in awhile and let me tell y'all. Why are the gifs lacking so much now? So I tried my best to get some good gifs that went with the prompt. Anyways, this was kind of short but I have a lot more requests to fill for NCT and Baekhyun. I think the next one in my inbox is an NCT fic so that'll probably be next. Love youuuuuu and thank you to anon for the request!]

#nct 127 #nct #jaehyun #nct reactions #yuta #taeyong #nct johnny #taeil #lee donghyuck #doyoung #nct jungwoo #mark lee #nct mark #nct x reader #nct fanfic

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itskpopular · 4 months

Text

I just want to say that you don’t have to stan NCT WISH. You don’t have to buy their albums, stream their music, follow their social medias, or anything.

What you do have to do is stop being disrespectful towards these young men/children who are just trying to live their dreams and show off their talents.

Idc what your opinion is on whether they should be NCT or not, or that you think RIIZE is more NCT than them. You can have that opinion but don’t go posting about it where the members can see it or even saying it to their faces.

You can think what you want about Haechan’s comment but don’t twist his words to give yourself a reason to hate on the new members.

They are innocent people. They did not make any of the final debut decisions. That’s on SM Ent. They are just trying their best. They have trained just as hard as your favs to get here. They deserve this opportunity so much.

Again, you don’t have to like it. You can have your opinions. But you’re NOT a real fan if you are rude and say hurtful things to ANY of the NCT members, which includes NCT WISH.

NCT’s concept has ALWAYS been that they were adding new members. Since 2016, we have known this about NCT. International fans have always been more supportive (althought with some hesitancy) about new members joining. When Doyoung and Johnny joined in Limitless era, they were accepted. When Jungwoo and Lucas joined (and Kun started offically promoting) during Empathy era, they were accepted. When Hendery, Xiaojun, and Yangyang debuted with WayV, they were accepted (again with some hesitation). When Sungchan and Shotaro were added during NCT 2020, they were accepted (at least for the most part). This is NCT’s thing. Their whole concept.

We have been wanting a Japanese unit for literal years and now that we have one, you have the audacity to complain??? Yes, it sucks that Sungtaro left, Shotaro couldn’t be in the Jap unit with Yuta and that Yuta isn’t in the unit at all…it sucks.

However, we knew that with a new unit, comes new members, and before they announced the end of the unlimited member rule, we knew we would get many more members in the future.

Stop acting like this is shocking news and that it’s weird. You signed up for this when you became an NCTzens.

Anyone who hates on NCT WISH and the members is proving themselves to not be real fans and the members would be so disappointed in the disrespect you guys are putting under their name.

Sion, Riku, Yushi, Jaehee, Ryo, and Sakura all deserve to debut. They deserve the support that past members have been given when joining the group. They deserve more than hurtful words and rude fans. I know that some of them are very young but why does their age have to dictate if you will stan? You stan NCT DREAM and Jisung was literally 14 when they debuted? Chenle was 15, the 2000’ liners were 16 and Mark was 17. They were all minors. You probably stan other groups who have younger members as well. Don’t use their age as an excuse to be a hater.

I also feel like some are gonna be very mad at this post, but honestly bring it on. I am a proud NCTzen who loves and supports all of the boys. I will not stand for this stupid behaviour.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#nct #wayv #nct wish #nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #nctzen #kpop #nct new team

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nihyunluvskookie · 15 days

Text

Love and religion fought. We lost.

PROMPT. “we tried we tried so much, but in the end we lost.”

PAIRING. Joshua x female reader

GENRE. angst

WARNINGS. Mention of blood, mcd, different religions, gun

WORD COUNT. 2.6K

AUTHOR’S NOTE. Finally I am here with this fic, I battled so much before posting, I don't want to offend any religion and I know it's a sensitive topic but I wanted to write it so bad. And since I decided to write angst for 13 members long ago, here's the first one. And angst being my favorite genre till now I tried doing justice to the fic, and since it's a bit of desi setting, it's a win for desi readers. Hope you like it. And I would be tagging people/readers who commented in that post earlier hehe ^^

Happy reading :)

TAG. @thepoopdokyeomtouched @aestheticfangirl @scarlet789 @nobraincellmode @woofie-nctzen-fanarts

Seventeen as angst trope

“You’re looking so pretty” I looked around, and saw my family members coming towards me and applying haldi on me, I looked at myself and saw myself wearing a yellow sharara, I saw my sister coming towards me and hugging me tight. “Hope you stay happy always like this, even after marriage” and somewhere my emotions were lost the moment someone told me this, I couldn't even recognize the voice at that point.

“Shua, I want to wear different outfits for all the ceremonies but too sad, you won’t be able to see me.” I smiled at him and he just laughed and pulled me closer in his embrace, “But you’re going to be my wife, so I would get a lifetime to watch you wear your favorite clothes” and he pinched my nose playfully. “I want to get married twice, one in all the traditions we follow and another one in your way. I don’t want to miss out on wearing a white gown and kissing you infront of everyone.”

“I’ll fulfill all your wishes, my love.”“I love you so much, Joshua”

“I love you too meri jaan” and he smiled at me once again, his smile was something that healed me every time.

“You look pretty Mishka, he is so lucky” and my mom kissed my forehead, I tried to look at her but somewhere I just couldn’t look at her at all, not after all this.

Everyone looked so happy and seemed like they were enjoying it every second, I tried to smile at them but I failed terribly. There was something wrong with me because I couldn’t express my emotions anymore. I failed to show them how I felt, as if my mind wanted to show them but my heart refused to do anything. It was the sign I lost, we lost.

“I would be the in-charge of the decorations, I want everything to be golden.”“You surely love the golden colour a lot Mishka” and he laughed and it was melody to my ears, “Yes I do and I love one more thing” he looked at me confused, “You” and I kissed him.

“You just know how to steal kisses.” And he pulled me closer by my neck and kissed me again. Every time I kissed him, I kissed him like it was my last kiss and I loved the feeling so much. I want to kiss him till the time I can’t kiss him anymore and I want to remember how he felt.

“Joshua”

“Yes, love”

“Do…you think…”“Think?” he was looking at me and I was feeling nervous, I wanted to say it loud, but he suddenly cupped my face. “What’s wrong?”

“I should tell them about us, it’s been eight years… already” “Mishka” he kissed me again and then looked at me, “if you want to tell your parents about us, you can. I’ll be there with you. We will go and talk to them, they will accept us.”

“Mishka, your mehendi looks so pretty” I turned to look at the person doing my mehendi, and here I wanted to put his initials. “And it’s done” The moment I looked at my hand, I saw the way my hand had someone else’s name’s initial, a stranger whom I don’t even know. I wanted to run away, but two things stopped me, Joshua’s thoughts and then my own family’s reputation. If I wanted, I could’ve taken a step and ran away already, but Joshua’s thoughts stopped me from doing anything.

It was raining and I ran outside, “Mishka, stop” I wanted to dance in the rain. “You’ll fall sick Mishka” For once I didn’t want to listen to his words, he always tells me I will fall sick but then he is the one who takes care of me so falling sick is worth it since he’s with me.

He suddenly came and picked me up, “Shua, oh god”

“I love you so much Mishka, I can’t explain. I want to marry you as soon as possible and want to make you mine officially.” I smiled at him, he had never confessed to me like this directly, and for marriage. He puts me down and looks at me, “Mishka, do you want to marry me?” I smiled at him, “And what makes you think that asking me like this would change my answer?” he looked nervous, “If I don’t marry you then I don’t know what will happen” “And I can never see you being someone else’s, so if you don’t marry me, I will die.”

“And I will never let that happen” and I kissed him. Losing him was never an option for me. He was my everything, he found me when I was left in the dark, and he was there for me when I was alone. And if I don’t get to be with the person I love the most, I have no idea what will I do ever in my life.

I parted and looked at him, “So will you marry me?” I nodded, “Yes, Joshua, I would be ruining my life if I said no to you” and he kissed me again under the rain.

I looked at myself, wearing the red lehenga, and I didn’t know how to respond to any of the fact, that I was getting married and my thoughts were interrupted, “Di, someone came to see you-”

“Mishi”

I turned to look at Joshua, Mishti was standing near the door and then there was Joshua beside her, “I would be leaving di, just know I am here for you.”

He walked towards me and hugged me tight, “Mishka, I can’t” I wanted to hug him tight, but my hands refused to move, no matter how much I wanted to hold him tight and cry in his embrace, he was home for me. He parted and cupped my face, “Mishka, let’s go. Let’s leave this place”

“Mishi, this is not what we want, it’s against our wish, let’s go. You’re not happy, I know it Mishka. I will take you somewhere you don’t have to suffer alone.”

“Joshua…”

“What happened Mishka? I am here for you, just for you. Let’s go, I know we can’t end like this.”

“Joshua, jo hona tha woh ho gaya, ab kuch nehi kar sakte hain, mere haatho me zanjeeren hai, koi reha nehi kar sakta aur.” (Joshua, we can’t do anything now, it’s all done, I am tied with shackles in my hand, and no one can free me anymore)

“Mishka, was it a lie?” and I had no answer, I couldn’t tell him directly, that, they told me they would kill him, if I went back to him.

“Maa, please listen to me once. Maa please” I was banging on the door but no one was listening to me, I wanted to run away. I want to run away from here and never come back. My tears were falling like no tomorrow.

“Mishka one more word and you know what can your dad do.”

“Maa, no. You won’t do anything. YOU CAN’T DO THIS!! Maa!!” I was banging on the door and then heard her unlock the door. The moment I saw her face, I started crying more, I wiped my tears and the moment I was about to say something hoping she would give me a chance to speak but she slapped me hard. She locked the door and dragged me towards my bed and pushed me there.

“One more word and Mishka-

Enough was enough, how could she do this to her own daughter?

“What was his fault? What was my fault? We just fell in love”

“Mishka you better- I wanted to scream, but the moment our eyes met, she shouted “Do you not know your dad? Do you not know what are the things that means a lot to your dad? And fault? We let you study outside and you do this to us?” “What did I do maa?” I walked towards her, my tears didn’t want to stop, they refused to listen to me for the first time. “If falling in love is a crime then yes, I did it. I DID IT” and another slap, “you are going nowhere and you are breaking up with him. You will leave him and get married to the guy we choose for you, who is right for you.” She was about to leave, but then turned back to look at me, “You don’t remember your limits? He’s a guy from a different religion and we are never saying yes to that. We can’t allow you, and remember society and reputation are everything for us.”

“Maa-” “Give up Mishka, I am against it. And don’t even think about running away, because I’m warning you again, your dad can go to any limits to separate you from him.” and that’s when I understood she wasn’t even joking, they can kill him, kill us anytime they want.

“We can’t Joshua” And I never told him the exact reason, because knowing him, he would not even regret telling me, he wanted to be together with me, didn’t matter if he stayed or died.

“We still have time, if you want we can run away right now and no one will get to know, we will go somewhere far” I took a deep breath and shook my head, clearly knowing what is going to be the consequence if I take this step, they will hunt me down and kill all of us.

“Joshua, we can’t”

“Joshua, we can’t be together, please move on from me.”

“Mishka-”

“Joshua.”

“Mis-”

“Joshua, we can’t, they will kill us. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING.” And that was the moment, I couldn’t hold back anything, if I knew I was going to be a coward for all my life then I wouldn’t have started any of this at all. I can’t even be happy with the person I love.

“And I had to choose, to see you getting killed or give up on us. And I choose you to be happy, happy without me.”

“Uss din se hamare saari bitaye lamhein, uss yaadon ke kamre me band ho gai” (that day all moments we spent together got locked in the room of our memories)

The moment he walked away from that room, I felt my heart shattering each second and into millions of pieces. I was the one who chose this for myself, letting go of the person whom I loved the most, even more than my own life. My choices in life were the ones which made me suffer the most but falling in love with him was never a choice, it was like fate and a string that was pulling me towards him and I went on with it.

I looked towards the door, from where he left, and saw Mishti coming inside, “Di, it’s time to go. Everyone’s waiting for you.” I took a deep breath and she hugged me tight, “Di, I hope he will understand” I hugged her tight, if only I could tell this to myself, but marriage? It’s the bond that holds two people together and there’s no turning back from the promises that would be made. “He can’t and so do I. I can’t make myself understand anything Mishti. I am hurting the person whom I love the most and it’s hurting me more.”

From there I don’t even remember how I walked down the aisle and I was already sitting beside the person with whom I was getting married, my face had no emotion. I couldn’t bring myself to look at anyone else. “Mishka, bring your hand forward” I was trying to focus on whatever was going on, but my body wasn’t responding to any of the words; I barely heard what maa said. I didn’t want to bring my hand forward, if I brought my hand and kept my hand on his, it would bind us forever in this sacred bond. “Mishka” Once more I hear her saying my name.

“Mishka” the moment I heard my name again but this was a different voice, I looked straight. I thought my eyes were deceiving me but I saw him walking towards me “You look so pretty Mishka, I always imagined you wearing this bridal lehenga, and look at you, you look so pretty but one thing I never imagined was, you wearing this and getting married to someone else.” and I couldn’t process anything, “you look so lovely Mishka, it feels like one of my dreams came true, partially I am so happy I got to see you in this.” I never interrupted him, but his voice was getting shaky, something which never happened to him, “Your parents came to visit me, they told me, they would never say yes and in the end, you chose them” “I am asking you for the one last time” and I could see the desperation on his face, “Take my hand and let’s runaway. I can’t see you getting married to someone else” he stopped, not very close to me and not very far from me.

There was silence, I almost couldn’t say anything, I wanted to say yes so badly but my whole family was holding me back, all the moments we spent together were flashing in front of me. I took a deep breath and was about to speak “Josh-”

“Looks like your silence and hesitation gave me the answer. Mishka, I love you so much that I can never explain in words, but one thing I can never do is, tumko kisi aur ka hote dekhna, I can never do that. I meant everything I told you that day.” He took out a gun and pointed at himself, and my reflexive action was to stand and run towards him, “Love and religion fought. We lost. We tried we tried so much, but in the end we lost. I will love you forever” And he shot himself, even before I could reach him, and his lifeless body was lying infront of me. I fell on my knees, I was holding his body, I tried shaking him, but there was no response, I wanted to hold his hand. The blood painted him and painted me red, I couldn’t see anything anymore. “Joshua, Joshua please wake up” I was shaking his body, I couldn’t do anything anymore, “Joshua, please wake up, let’s go”

I felt people coming towards me, all the emotions I was holding back, my tears came out and I was crying, I couldn’t stop.

“Mishka” and it was my mom, she was trying to pull me by my arm, but this time I pulled my arm back. I was holding Joshua’s hand and looked at her. “Dekh liya kya kar diya, khushi mil gai aap logo ko,” my mind wasn’t working anymore, “Losing yourself is better than losing the person you love and I saw the love of my life killing himself infront of me do you think I am in my right mind right now.” I grabbed the gun, “Mishka leave that”

“Mishka drop the gun”

“Mishka, don’t”

But all I could hear was his voice, his last words telling me he loved me. My ears were hearing his voice, my eyes never moved from his body. The fact, that the golden kurta he was wearing was now painted in red. I was going feral with each passing second, I was dying each second. I closed my eyes for a second and looked at my maa papa. I saw someone dragging Mishti away from me, I loved her but I loved him as well, he is alone, and he has no one here right now. I couldn’t leave him alone like this when he never left me.

“Ab iske baad jo bhi hoga uske jimmedaar baas aap dono honge, baas aap dono” (and whatever happens after this, two of you are going to be the reason, just you two) I was pointing the gun towards them and I could hear all the screaming and shouting but everything slowed down and in a fraction of a second I pointed the gun at myself and I pulled the trigger.

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