#i literally started this piece back in november and FINALLY

[stellesappho]

i wanna live in a land of lakes where the great waves break and the night runs right into the day i wanna be with ones i left - i will be back one day by lord huron

#i literally started this piece back in november and FINALLY #it's here #my art #tangled the series #tts #rta #rapunzel's tangled adventure #cassandra tangled #tts cassandra #cassunzel

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

-----

Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

#spn #spn fanfic #destiel fic #fic recs #destiel day #deancas fic recs #supernatural #destiel #happy anniversary #don't forget you're here forever

[theanimeroom]

How do you think Karasu Tabito would do with NNN? 🤔 I feel like he's a level of competitive that could last a hot second

NSFW UNDER THE CUT | MINORS DNI

NOVEMBER 24TH, 2023 - 4:23AM

NNN CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

let's start with the fact that karasu tabito is an absolute whore for you, and he doesn't try to hide it. he was someone who loved pda. it didn't matter the time or place, he would plant a sloppy kiss against your lips whenever he felt like it. although his friends claim that he's "too sexual" with you when you two are in public, he couldn't help himself. that was the way he showed his affection, it was like second nature to him. he was so completely in love with you and everything about you, that was very clear.

karasu wasn't the type to get emotional, especially around his teammates. but around you? he felt safe in a way that he would never admit to any of his friends for fear of them calling him a simp. yet he was; so completely and utterly down bad for you that he would do anything to give you the world, should you ask for it.

you were well aware of the soft spot that he had for you as well, and you were never the one to take advantage of the space you held in his heart. you'd known that karasu was a hard man to tie down, but somehow, some way, you found yourself lying in bed with him every night.

now, with that being said, karasu's preferred love language was the exact cause of his downfall during the challenge.

karasu is a very emotional lover, believe it or not. he's not one to fuck around with just anyone when he wants you, it's because you already owned a piece of his heart and then some. that makes him the perfect lover, in your opinion.

it also made him the most insatiable.

because he was so emotionally tied to you, literally anything that you did ignited the flame within him. he was using all the strength he had in his body to keep his hormones at bay, and up until that fateful day, he'd been doing so well. but day after day, your perfection started to get the best of him. one day it was your pretty smile, the next it was the way you looked in those jeans, and on the last day? a sneeze.

yes, as much as he hated to admit it, it was you sneezing that broke karasu down. you'd gone on a tyrant, sneezes leaving you left and right until your face reddened and you could no longer breathe through your nose. at first karasu thought it was cute, a small "bless you" sneaking through his chuckles towards you.

his smile disappeared, however, when you looked back up at him, sniffling softly with glassy eyes as you muttered out a congested "thank you," in response. it was the way you gazed at him that made him crack, that being the same expression you gave him whenever he was fucking your brains out.

the cycle of thoughts only spiraled from there, the 'i'm a deer caught in headlights' look he had going making your eyebrows furrow. just when you were about to ask if he was okay, your words were being silenced by the pressure of his full lips on yours in a quick peck.

the kiss was just long enough for you to register that it happened, all traces of your allergies long gone as you stared him down with a mixture of confusion and surprise.

"what was that for?" you asked, a smile creeping on your lips at your boyfriend's antics. karasu blinked at you once. a muffled grunt slipped from your throat when instead of responding, he kissed you again, this one more intense than the last. his tongue was like velvet against yours, a greedy moan being transferred from his mouth to yours as he finally got a taste of what he'd been yearning for the past almost month. "karasu!"

"for being so fucking perfect all the time," he breathed, hand coming behind your head to keep you right where he wanted you. it didn't surprise you in the slightest that this was happening, karasu was never the type to obtain self-control when it came to you. what startled you was the force behind his movements, something that you weren't used to seeing unless he was severely stressed. he enjoyed the small hiccups in your breath when his head turned to your neck, nipping at the skin sharply. "wanna show you how perfect you are."

you weren't sure when the clothes came off, or when karasu coddled you into his arms, turning you to lay on your side as he slithered behind you. he took hold of your leg, his gruff voice mumbling in your ear as he pressed his leaking tip against your hole. he moaned quietly as you clenched at the pressure. "hold her up for me, baby."

all you know is that you did as he asked, hand curling under the backside of your knee, holding the limb as close to your torso as you could while the blue-haired male filled you to the brim over and over again.

"good girl, look so pretty f'me baby," his brows were knitted together as he watched you fall apart on his cock. the way your mouth was lolled open, almost left the man with half a mind to fill that hole too, always loving how pretty you were when being filled from every direction. it made his dick throb whenever he saw the head of his cock push against your tummy, bulging right where his hand was resting. he'd occasionally press down on the area, relishing in the rise in pitch that your voice would take.

you looked so beautiful to him that he felt that you should have gotten to enjoy the view too. that's why he held your face in one hand, forcing you to look straight ahead into the full body-length mirror that was sitting across from you. he watched as your hooded eyes lazily stared at your reflection, sometimes peering behind you to catch a glimpse of karasu in all his glory. whenever the two of you made eye contact, he smiled at you through the mirror. "don't you think so?"

you nodded frantically, too fucked out and embarrassed from staring at your brain-dead figure to get words out. your jaw was caught in his strong grip, preventing you from looking anywhere else but into the glass. you knew you were moving closer to the edge when the strength in your hand holding onto your legs caved, the limb nearly slipping away had it not been for karasu snaking his arm around you, only to place his hand right back on your face where it was previously. "wanna be a good girl for me?"

he knew you were close, your poor hole was sucking him in so hard that it was almost impossible to pull out, the warmth radiating from your body only forcing his own orgasm to follow close behind.

when you nodded rapidly, he smirked at your submission before pressing a sloppy kiss to the side of your head. bringing his lips to your ear in order to hear him over his desperate thrusts, he hummed softly. "want you to watch yourself while you come for me. think you can do that, pretty girl?"

don't plagarize, it's not nice <3

© theanimeroom

#no nut november challenge! #blue lock smut #blue lock #karasu tabito #karasu tabito x reader #karasu x reader #karasu x you #karasu tabito smut #karasu smut #anime smut #blue lock karasu #blue lock karasu tabito

[kasdan]

𝐸𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟’𝑠 𝐹𝑢𝑟𝑦 {𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 9}

join the taglist | series masterlist | masterlist

a/n: so sorry for the delay in this chapter the time has just flown by me and before i knew november was over like damn halloween was just yesterday chill. anyhoo i hope you enjoy the chapter lovelies<33

Summary: frank gets settled into the motel and you wait for him to get better as things start to heat up between the two of you before settling as quickly as it starts

Pairing: frank castle x reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, frank needs a hug, was quite literally twirling my hair and kicking my feet writing this

Word count: 2.2k

Chapter song: this side of paradise - coyote theory

The room grows quiet after Curtis leaves. My gaze focuses on Frank’s body on the bed, and I can’t bring myself to look away from him. Curtis said that he would be alright, and I believe him, but there’s still a part of me that’s worried sick, and I can’t understand why I’m panicking this much over someone who I’ve only known for a couple of weeks. 

David leaves a little bit after Curtis, claiming he has to get something back at his place. I try questioning him on if we’d be safe here, not knowing if I was tracked here from the house, but he insists that we’ll be fine as long as I try not to use much of my powers while he’s gone.

I don’t get much more in before he’s leaving, and I’m left alone with the still unconscious man in the bed across from me. I find myself staring at the rise and fall of Frank’s chest again, making sure it’s steady and doesn’t stop.

There’s a slight panic feeling in my chest on what I would do if he stops breathing, but I have to tell myself that he’s going to be fine, and it won’t come to that.

I sigh and fall back on the bed, not being able to bring myself to do much else. I lay on my side, still able to see Frank from my position. It’s not long before I feel my eyes drifting shut, the events of the night finally taking its toll on me.

I try my best to keep my eyes open, not wanting to miss if something starts to happen to Frank, but my body says otherwise, soon falling into a world of darkness.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea.” I look at the green-eyed girl in front of me, who’s currently trying her best to make the piece of plastic she has as sharp as she can.

“We can’t live like this, you’ve never even been outside. Don’t you ever wonder what life outside this building is?” I admit that I’ve wanted to know what the outside was like ever since the girl came in and started raving about it. I just don’t think this plan is the best thing we could do.

The click of the door sounds, and she quickly shoos me away to the other side of the room and hides the sharp object behind her. A guard comes in with food trays and drops one in front of me before going over to the other girl in the room to drop another tray in front of her.

He turns to walk away, however before he can get out of the room, the smaller girl is jumping on his back and reaching her short arms around his neck, jabbing the sharp object into his skin.

The guard jerks his body around, attempting to throw the small person off of him as his neck starts to bleed. I jump up and as quietly as I can, and I walk towards him, reaching for the key badge he wears on his belt.

I get a grasp on it before a hand harshly grips mine. I let out a sharp cry when I feel something in my wrist pop and look up to see the guard sneering down at me.

He manages to get the girl off his back, slamming her into the wall so she falls to the ground at the impact. I have no chance to try and check on her before more guards rush into the room and I’m dragged out into the hallway.

“NO, LET ME GO! ELLIE!” I start screaming as I’m picked up and carried down the hall. I can see three other guards around Ellie, dragging her in the opposite direction of the hallway I was going in. She isn’t moving and I find myself thrashing around in the grip of the guard holding me trying to get to her, but it’s no use and I watch her get dragged out of sight, not knowing it’s the last time I’ll ever get to see her.

I find myself jerking awake, the memory fading away in my brain. It takes me a minute to remember where I am, looking over at Frank’s body and expecting him to still be asleep, but I am surprised when I find his eyes looking back at me.

“You’re awake.” I find myself jumping up off the bed to his side. “How do you feel?” I sit down next to him on the bed, observing him to see if there are any immediate worries.

He doesn’t say anything, instead bringing his hand up to swipe his thumb across my cheek. I’m taken aback, and I realize that there were tears that fell down my face while I was sleeping.

I turn my head down to look down at my knee, his hand sliding off my cheek to fall to his side. I take my hand to rub the other side of my face to get rid of any other tears.

“Don’t.” Frank’s hand comes back to grip my chin, and I turn my head back towards him until I’m looking into his eyes.

“Don’t what?” My voice comes out just above a whisper as Frank lets his hand rest on my cheek again.

“Hide from me.” His voice is gruff, and he goes to talk more but ends up in a coughing fit. I quickly reach for the cup of water Curtis left on the nightstand next to the bed for this situation and hold it up to his mouth so he can take a sip. “Thanks.” I place the cup back down on the nightstand and go to sit down on the bed I was once asleep on before I feel a grip on my wrist, stopping me.

I turn my body around to see Frank’s hand around my wrist, pulling me back towards the bed he’s on. There’s something in me that’s hesitant to sit that close to him again, and I don’t know why. “I don’t want to hurt you.” I make up the first excuse that comes to mind: not wanting to be this close to him when I can feel my hands start to shake and my heart start to beat faster in my chest.

“You’re not gonna hurt me.” He insists, and I have no choice but to sit down next to him. My gaze falls to my lap again, and I start messing with my fingers, not knowing what else to do. “Hey,” he says, placing one of his hands in mine to stop their movement, and I raise my head to meet his eyes. “You okay?” I swallow hard and can only nod at him, not trusting my voice in the moment.

Silence takes over the room for a minute before I clear my throat. “I should be asking you that question.” Frank lets out a chuckle at my statement, taking his hand off of mine, and it takes all of my restraint to not reach for him to keep it there.

“‘M fine; don’t worry bout me.” It’s not so convincing when he lets out a grunt, trying to get his body to sit up against the headboard. I go to stop him from moving any further, but he just shakes his head at me and pushes himself all the way up.

He’s out of breath by the time he’s lifted himself up, and I find myself looking at him in worry, causing him to give me a short smile as if telling me not to worry.

“How’d I get here?” He looks around the room as he talks, taking in the unfamiliar scenery.

“I drove you.” His head stops looking around to suddenly look back at me as if I have two heads. And then he starts laughing.

“You,” he pauses between laughs. “You drove me?” He laughs until he suddenly cringes and holds his side, forcing him to calm down. 

“It’s not funny; I thought you were going to die.” Once he’s calmed down, his gaze softens at me.

“‘M sorry, darlin', it just caught me off guard. Wasn’t expectin’ you to be able to drive me outta there. ‘M proud of you.” He grabs my hand while he’s speaking, gripping it softly, and it doesn’t help my pounding heart in the slightest.

My mind isn’t working; I want to say something, but no words come out, and if they do, I feel they wouldn’t make any sense. I open my mouth to try and say something before my eyes glance over Frank’s torso, seeing the shirt he’s wearing start to turn crimson.

“You’re bleeding.” My body reacts on its own, immediately getting closer to him in order to check it. He tries to push me off and wave it off like he’s fine, but I’m not having it.

I lift his shirt to find the wrap Curtis put on him getting soaked through with blood, and I’m immediately reaching for the container that was left behind for this exact reason. Before he left, Curtis showed me what to use to replace his bandage with when he needed it, but I figured that David would be the one to handle it if it got to that point. There’s no sign of David coming back anytime soon, so I’ll just have to do my best to change them myself. This somehow makes my hands shake even more than they were before.

“I can do that—” Frank reaches out to grab the wrap from my hands, but I shake my head and pull it out of his reach before he can get a hold of it.

“I can do it.” I insist, starting to unravel the now-red old wrap from his abdomen, apologizing when I hear him wince slightly at my movement. 

I throw the old cloth into the garbage by the bed and prepare to put the clean one on, but I have to first wipe off the excess blood around the wound. I go to fill up the small bowl left by the sink in the corner of the room, bringing it back by Frank’s side to start cleaning up the wound.

I glance up to find Frank’s gaze on me, looking deep in thought. “What? Are you okay?” I go to pull away from his body before he quickly shakes his head, reaching for my arm to keep me there.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I can tell his mind is somewhere else as he speaks, his gaze drifting away from mine.

"What's wrong?" He swallows and turns his head back up to look at me with the most intensity I've seen in him. His hand finds its way back to my cheek, fingers grazing it gently, and I instinctively feel my head turning to keep his hand pressed there.

"I'm afraid." He just about whispers, and I have to comprehend if he actually said anything, but the way his eyes are piercing into mine, I know he did. I open my mouth to question him, but his thumb runs across the bottom of my lip, causing me to forget what I was about to say. "Of gettin' too close—wantin' to get closer." He lets out a soft chuckle while shaking his head, and I can't help but just sit there, wanting to know what else he's going to say.

"To tell ya the truth, you scare me." I can feel my face drop at his words, and I go to pull away from him, my head going to face the ground again, but before I can do anything, he shakes his head, keeping my head up to face him. "Lemme finish."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again to look back at me. "The feeling I get when I'm with you—it scares the hell outta me." He doesn't say anything else, instead grabbing one of my hands and placing it on his chest. I can feel his heartbeat pounding, my own's rhythm not being far off from his.

His hand lets go of my wrist, but I find myself keeping my hand on him, not wanting to remove it from him just yet. Our eyes lock, and I have no idea how long we're sitting there for. Time seems to move in slow motion, and I can feel him pushing forward towards me, causing my arm to move backwards towards my own body.

Curiosity fills my features when my arm is the only thing separating our bodies—not pressed as harshly against it as it once was, but now just simply staying there. I can see the questioning look in his eyes as if he's debating something, but he ends up shaking his head and leaning his body back on the bed, turning his head to look at the wall.

"Frank-"

"'M sorry." Our voices are barely audible, and I'm not sure what just happened or what's exactly going on in Frank's head, but I figure it's for the best that I leave it be for now. Instead, I work on putting the clean wrap on his wound in silence.

@sleeperthelazy @hathay @lunaticgurly @casa-boiardi @mattmurdocksstarlight @stilldreaming666 @cherry-berry-ollie

buy me a coffee ♡

#embers fury #frank castle #frank castle x reader #frank castle angst #frank castle fluff #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle fic #frank castle series #frank castle x f!reader #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x you #the punisher x reader #the punisher #jon bernthal #slow burn #marvel #Spotify

[nyasstars]

infrunami 🦋 - yang jeongin

synopsis. jeongin has been pining over a girl in his class for years now. until he realizes that the true love of his life was always right in front of him.

cw : hurt/angst, non idol!collegejeongin x fem!collegereader, unrequited feelings, slow burn!, jealousy, cursing, hurt feelings, reader is referred to as JJ, allusions to anxiety, overthinking

↜ previous masterlist next ↝

(more music just because my playlist is amazing 🥴)

yuna presses her lips into a thin line, "what?" her eyebrows furrow. "help me find something to wear, I've never been to a dorm party before so what do I wear?" yuna huffs, walking over to your closet and wincing at the sight of the clothes strewn messily inside the closet.

"oh yeah.. my closets kinda.. like that" you gesture towards the structure that looked like it was being held together by a piece of duct tape. "okay.. how about a simple pair of jeans?" she shrugs. "that's so basic" you whine, turning to face Yuna as she stood by the closet door.

"a skirt?"

"nah"

"a dress?"

"too cold" you squirm

"sweatpants or leggings?"

"too casual and too boring"

"how about basketball shorts?"

you shake your head

"ill just go with ripped jeans and a cardigan. thanks for the help yuna" you roll off the bed, walking over to the girl who was currently gaping at you incredulously. "that's what I suggested in the first place!" she shrieks. "no, you suggested jeans, I said ripped jeans." you grin. her jaw visibly clenches before she storms out of your room.

you follow her, parting ways when she walks into her room and you go into the bathroom. you tried to avoid any and all thoughts of jeongin while trying to focus on your excitement for the party. as excited as you were, you were also nervous; you weren't the best when it came to meeting new people and socializing.

when you spoke to people, you often felt like they were silently judging you. analyzing your every physical flaw, judging your voice, internally cringing when you spoke, dreading whenever you came around. usually jeongin was the only person who could calm you down whenever you began to overthink but you figured you'd just have to deal on your own.

by the time you finished getting dressed, a simple pair of baggy black ripped jeans and a shirt with a white cardigan, it was already 6:35. "yuna" you sang while bursting into her room, as she put the finishing touches on her hair. "im done" you twirled as you gave her a 360 look of your outfit. "love it but you could've been done a long time ago if you had taken my advice the first time." she scoffs, "but you look good. let me do your makeup?" she wriggles her eyebrows. "before you start whining, think about it. what if one of cafe boy's friends ask you out?"

she knew you too well because you were absolutely about to whine, but she raised a good point. "I hate it when you're persuasive." you groan. "make me over" you smile, sitting on the bench of her vanity. when she finally finishes her reign of terror, you could've sworn she stabbed your eye 3 more times than necessary, you grabbed your bags and belongings and headed out the door.

the November wind nipped at your face and you shivered underneath the cardigan you wore. "I told you we should've drove. its too cold to walk." yuna's teeth chattered as you walked through the gates into the campus. "first of all, we literally live right near the campus so its walking distance, and second its not that cold." you rolled your eyes. "plus, we're almost there."

you walked for a few more minutes in a comfortable silence before arriving at the address Christopher texted you. when you approached the dorm door that read 325 beside it, you froze. "what're you waiting for?" Yuna asks.

"I feel weird."

"weird about what? you were invited here."

"you're right.. but I'm nervous and it looks like we're early so maybe we should come back later?" you rambled.

"JJ stop, I know you're nervous but you're gonna have to come back at some point."

you took a deep breath before exhaling and - involuntarily - knocking on the door. it swung open with a bright smile meeting you, "hey JJ! come on in!" Christopher gleamed.

"hey Christopher! this is my friend Yuna" you said gesturing to Yuna and following him inside. as twelve pairs of eyes looked up at you while you walked into the living room, your heart immediately started pounding. it was as if under their gaze you began to shrink until you figured out which faces were familiar. it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder when you saw Felix and Seungmin sitting on the couch. you also recognized Jisung and some of the boys you'd seen around campus.

"these are my friends..." Christopher said as he introduced you to the boys scattered around the room. you went around the room with him until you were able to break away and sit on the couch with the people you were familiar with while Yuna spoke to Christopher. "god why do you have some many friends" you groan, dropping onto the couch and placing your head on Seungmin's shoulder.

"you were introduced to like four people" Seungmin snorts, "its not even like you actually had to speak to them, you just learned their names."

"I know but what if they already hate me just based on my name?"

"you think they hate you 'cause of your name?" Felix's eyebrows furrow.

"they could! what if they don't like the letter J? my name is exclusively two J's!" you frown.

"okay now you sound dumb. I'll pay you to become friends with at least one person in this room." Seungmin nods

"I'll do you one better, ill be friends with three people in this room. you, Felix, and Yuna." you grin. "people that aren't us. now go" he rolls his eyes before shoving you off the couch. you slid off, landing on the carpet floor with a thud in sheer embarrassment. Seungmin chuckles from behind you as Felix asks if you're okay. after more reassurance - and occasional bullying - from your friends, you somewhat worked up the courage to walk up to Yuna as she spoke to Christopher's friend in the kitchen.

"hey JJ!" Yuna cheers, handing you the red solo cup of god knows what that she was previously drinking. "so do you guys do this every weekend?" Yuna tilts her head. the purple haired boy, Minho, shakes his head, "no, most of us work on weekends, it was a pain in the ass to even plan this. do you guys work?"

you chortle after taking a sip of the concoction, "no, Yuna's a trust fund baby." she turns to you, "well you weren't complaining about me being a trust fund baby when my parents agreed to pay off our apartment and other school stuff." you nod slowly, "touchè".

"so.. you guys don't work." he says, pulling you away from your conversation. you both shake your heads. from the corner of your eye, you see jeongin's room door flinging open and two heads emerge. the flow of conversation amongst the room of people halted for a moment before resuming as normal.

jeongin walks into the kitchen while fixing himself a drink, too submerged in his conversation with Soojin to realize you were staring daggers into the side of his head. "hey innie." minho says, taking another sip of his drink. jeongin simply nodded in his direction before responding, "hey minho.." his voice trails off as he meets your gaze, still staring at him.

"hey jeongin. I thought you were at Soojin's place, y'know helping her study?" you narrow your eyes at him. "yeah I am. w-well the truth is this is Soojin's brother's dorm and.."

"I don't care jeongin. im sick of you constantly blowing me off for Soojin. when was the last time we hung out?" you didn't even wait for his response, "y'know what? it doesn't matter jeongin. text me when you're ready to be my best friend." you say placing your cup in Yuna's hand before slipping out the of the kitchen. you inform your friends sitting on the couch that you were going to get some air as you walked out of the dorm room.

you sat outside in the hallway, your knees pressed to your chest as tears streamed down your face. the door clicked open and someone walked out. "are you okay?" he whispered, standing in front of you. deep inside, part of you wanted it to be jeongin. you hoped it was your best friend coming back to console you, to apologize to you and remind you that you'll always be his best friend. but you also hoped it wasn't. you didn't know what you'd do if it was him. would you scream at him? call him names? or cry in his arms as he whispered sweet nothings to you and reassured you that everything would be okay?

you shrugged at the boy in front of you, not bothering to look up at him. "do you mind if I stay with you?" you shrugged again, the constant tears pouring down your face overwhelming you. he slides down the wall across from you, the two of you now sitting face to face. you sat in silence before the words suddenly started tumbling out as you looked up at him, "it hurts. like hell. I miss having him as my best friend. now we don't even talk. and these nightmares, I have these reoccurring nightmares about him leaving me and it fucking terrifies me to think about to because it feels like its coming true."

you watch him nod out of your peripheral vision and you continue, " I barely sleep anymore. and I whenever im with someone who isn't him, I have this fear that they're silently judging me. that they're analyzing everything that's wrong with me. I always feel like im doing something wrong. sometimes I just can't breathe. I wake up and I can't breathe. ill simply be sitting down and I can't breathe. my chest gets tight and I get dizzy and I try to talk and words won't come out and I just can't stop. I can't stop thinking about everything that's wrong. everything that's wrong with me. and it just doesn't go away. why does it never go away? how do I make it go away? and I can't even talk to my best friend so now im here, talking about it with a guy I met a few days ago. no offense."

jisung nods, "none taken." he croaks out.

a/n: its 4am and im running on three cans of Arizona and a self indulgent story, please bear with me. ill probably rewrite most of this later but I was just so ready to get to the angst so here you guys go. as always, please let me know how I can improve this!!

#Spotify #yang jeongin #jeongin #seungmin #skz texts #skz scenarios #skz smut #skz imagines #skz #skz x reader #skz fluff #stray kids #stray kids x reader #straykids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #stray kids au #han jisung #lee know #skz thoughts

[officerrrfriendly]

More To The Story, chapter three.

psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?

Chapter One Chapter Two

Saturday, 4th November 1992.

Finley's perspective

Finley bopped his head along to the catchy beat of 'Psycho Killer' by Talking Heads as he sat up against the headboard of his bed, pondering. It had been about twenty minutes since you had abruptly ended the 3-hour phone call to head to work because you were MAJORLY late. In this extensive phone call, you had discussed many theories about the eerie, suspicious video which you and Finley believed to be related to Tommy's disappearance and had even shown Tommy himself - so you believe -, a shaved head, blindfolded with a bloody nose.

It had approximately been 5 days since Tommy had gone MIA, and during the entirety of those 5 days, the residents of the town had been truly shaken up and skittish. This never happened here, in Drellington- it was just a quaint, isolated town...right?

With an extremely low crime rate and a very trusted and secure police department, it was safe to say that the disappearance of little Tommy Parker came as a huge surprise to the town in its totality.

"So what the hell is going on?" He murmured, pushing his black-framed glasses back up the bridge of his nose, sighing as his eyes squeezed shut.

He was at a loss. How could all of this just be going under the radar? How is it that HE had stumbled across this horrific video and not the police? How is it that your laugh was just the sweetest-

"Finnie Bear!!" a pitchy voice called from downstairs, interrupting his lengthy train of thought. It was his aunt Maureen. "Finnie Honey?! Tea is ready, come n'join us in the dining room!" she continued to call once more, before retreating back to the dining room where she had previously been setting up with knives, forks and plates.

You see, Finley's Mom had never been around- ever since she had skipped town and dumped him on her brother Howard's doorstep carelessly when he was only 4 months old, hoping to finally catch her big break in Hollywood.

He knew remotely nothing about her, and most of the time he was fine with that. Although he got on alright most of the time without thinking about her...sometimes, when he lay awake at night in bed, unable to sleep for whatever reason...he thought about her and why she had to leave him behind, why she had denied the chance to start her new life in California with him.

He never wanted to feel that kind of refusal again, so...he shut most people out. His circle remained fairly small throughout the entirety of his high school experience, with his only friends being from the school band and the computer science club. And in all honesty, he liked it that way. He was happy with the few friends that he did have.

But somehow, even with his aunt, uncle, and friends present in his life...he still felt like a piece of him was still missing, he still felt empty.

Finally deciding to get out of his own head for a few minutes, he decided to get up from his bed and proceed downstairs, shouting "Coming!!"

He sat timidly at the dining table, his Aunt sitting opposite him with his Uncle Howie beside her. Picking up the knife from the table where it had been precisely put, along with the fork next to it and began cutting into the juicy chicken breast on his plate.

Howard speaks first, "So...who was that girl on the landline earlier? You got a secret girlfriend we don't know about now?" his tone teasing, but definitively curious. Finley nearly choked on the piece of chicken he had in his mouth before chewing it promptly and swallowing. "What girl? I have literally no idea what you're talking about." He questioned with the pitch of his voice coming out higher than usual- a universal indicator that he was indeed, lying.

Maureen's eyes lit up, "A girl!! that's new, what does she look like? where did you meet her-" RRIIINGGGGG!! RRRRIINGGG!! the telephone attached to the kitchen wall began to sound with shrill rings, and in that moment Finley felt as if God himself had spared him from the interrogative questions of his Aunt and Uncle.

"Ooh, let me go and answer that," Maureen voices, excusing herself from the dining table before heading out into the kitchen. "Hayes residence, how may I help you? Oh...pardon? I'm sorry, may I ask who's calling?... Hello?" Maureen places the phone back into place on the wall, her expression puzzled. She approaches the dining room table and speaks, "Someone started shouting at me in Russian on the damn phone, pardon my language- that's odd, right?"

Finley types away on his keyboard, determined to find some sort of answer as to why RUSSIANS were now calling his goddamn landline. This was BAD, really really bad. What if they had gotten to you? You had watched that video too. "Shit," he muttered, anxiety filled the entirety of his body, taking over.

Suddenly, an idea sparked inside of his head as he remembered that his uncle had set up a recording device on the telephone a few months ago after a scam call centre had cheated him out of $300 which made him extremely cautious when it came to people who called the house.

He needed to get that call, and quick.

The first thing he did, however, was log into AOL and send you a message.

ThisMustBeThePlace is now online.

ThisMustBeThePlace is typing...

ThisMustBeThePlace: Important news!! Call soon, hope you got home okay from work :)

Now, the phone call- and a Russian-to-English dictionary, that was vital in this case.

Finley practically flies down the flint-coloured carpeted stairs as he proceeds with his mission. Convince Howard to give him the recording of the weird, suspicious call they received at dinner time so he can translate it.

"Uncle Howie!! where are you?" he calls, walking into the living room where he finds only Maureen, sitting leisurely on the ivory floral patterned sofa watching TV whilst stroking the household cat, Eddie, an American shorthair with soft, dense grey fur with black stripes running all across his body. Eddie purrs as Maureen continues to pet him.

"Uhh...hey, where's Uncle Howie?" Finley asks, leaning against the doorframe and awaiting an answer- he inhales deeply, trying to regulate his breathing and catch his breath after running down the extensive flight of stairs that lead from the upstairs floor of the house, to the middle, and eventually to the ground floor.

She smiles tiredly, "He's in his workshop Finnie, he wouldn't tell me what he's doing but it's probably one of those cool science-y things he's planning on teaching the kids at school on Monday. Why? Everything okay?" she answers, eventually glancing away from the television and over to her nephew, concerned.

For context, Howie was a middle school teacher at Drellington Middle. He taught Science. He LOVED science, even. He was extremely dorky- which explains why Finley grew up to be the same, Raised around science, tech and crazy experiments- he really grew to love all things nerdy, all thanks to Howie.

His eyebrows raise, immediately dismissing her concern appreciatively. "Oh! yeah no, I'm okay- just need some help with...physics homework! yeah, that. Are you okay though? You look tired, not saying that in an offensive way of course! uhh-" he stutters, not meaning to come off as discourteous but she didn't take it that way at all, instead, she chuckled sweetly and shook her head.

"Finnie! Don't worry, you're correct in saying I look tired, cause I am! The only thing that's been keeping me awake is Eddie's purring honey, but alas, you're right I am tired, so I'm gonna head to bed n'hit the hay," she retorts, finally getting up from off of the sofa, Eddie in hand. She grabs the remote with her unoccupied hand and switches off the television, then tiredly treads over to where Finley is standing in the doorway.

"Goodnight, Finnie-bear." she smiles, ruffling his chestnut-blondish hair before brushing past him gently and hiking up the stairs.

"Night Maurie." he returns, smiling softly before he makes his way to his uncle's workshop.

"That last word there sounds like 'найден' which is spelt 'NAYDEN', look that up in there," Howie ordered, before placing the headphones back on his head, and pressing play again.

Finley flicks through the pages of the dictionary hastily, desperate to find the answer.

Yeaahhh, it's a long story to explain how they ended up translating Russian together in his uncle's workshop so I'll keep it short and sweet for you. Sound good? Excellent.

Finley found Howie in his workshop, no surprise there. He was surprised, however, to find his uncle already translating this dodgy Russian phone call by himself.

He just had to get in on this. God, he had so much to tell you later.

@stveharringtn AAAA chapter 3!! some insight into Finley's day and a little bit of backstory bc who doesn't love a bit of that eh?

OOO secret Russian codes, OOO angst, OOO Finley can't get you off of his mind OOOO.

love you darlings, more to come very soon! xxx

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #steve harrington #joe keery #joe keery fic #gator tillman #norman reedus #normanreedus #jeffrey dean morgan #gator tillman x reader #kurt kunkle x reader #dustin henderson #eddie munson #stranger things au

[itsgoghtime]

I have a little story to tell…

*skip past the writing if you only want to see the pictures haha*

I know it’s not like… super important or anything, but I just have to tell someone how this quilt came about cause there really isn’t anyone to tell haha

In November, I found myself in the middle of an endless winter (seriously, the snow piles were 5 feet high and rising, like the Johnny Cash song) and I needed change. I needed something to distract myself with.

During this period, I had also decided I needed a new hobby. I had recently made the dive back into writing, but there was something missing.

As ironic as it is, I was on Instagram - which rarely happens nowadays - and found a quilt pattern that I instantly fell in love with.

this is the pattern for those who are curious - no secrets here haha

I sat on the idea for a month - I’m an anxious money spender (great for my bank account, not so great for any sort of aspiring to new hobbies like quilting) so nothing happened for a while. Then, on the spur of a moment, I bought the pattern.

And the pattern sat in the bottom drawer of my dresser for another month. (Almost two actually)

My friend finally convinced me that I needed to do something for me (for once) and so I made a trip to the fabric store and bought the yellow fabrics.

On the spur of a moment, in early January, I began cutting fabric. There was a moment where I really realized how much I was going to have to cut - and so I recruited a friend and let me tell you, for the next three weeks, we spent almost every evening together cutting fabric. We made a playlist of music we both enjoyed and kept adding to it and watching random films as we did so - it was a LOT.

And then - all the fabric was cut. But now we had to sew all the pieces together.

That took another month - stats to follow at the end because I think they really put this into perspective.

It was during this time I began watching The Mysterious Benedict Society. My good heavens friends, I loved this show from Episode One - and I had to share it with everyone I knew. (There will be a lil part about this at the end, cause I love you all so much)

We spent another threeish weeks sewing pieces together (again, stats to follow) - but we spent literally basically every day together making it happen.

To kinda skip some stuff - I chose the blues/whites on the back sometime in March, and I made the pattern myself (not crazy, it’s just a bunch of squares, and if you look at it at an angle, they’re lil hearts 🥺

I put the back together, which didn’t take long at all, and then got fleece to put in the middle as filler.

Long story short - there’s lots of issues that I had - right before I took it in for quilting, I washed the layers and had some holes that opened since some of the edges weren’t quite 1/4”, so that was frustrating. Also ran into some issues of the backing and the fleece not being big enough to allow quilting.

I ended up finally taking it in to be officially quilted on May 8th - to one of my aunts.

I got the quilt back (she had quite a few before mine haha) this last Monday, June 26.

Made the last trip to the fabric store on Friday, and did the binding yesterday - that was quite the adventure - this thing weighs like… 10-15 pounds, I swear. And not to mention, its 7ish feet by 9ish feet long.

What an absolutely wild adventure.

I have met the kindest, most genuine - and funny people in the history of ever because I watched MBS while I was doing this quilt. If I hadn’t started the quilt, I might’ve not seen MBS - and I might not have met all my amazing mutuals.

Lots of good things come so unexpectedly, you know?

Here, my friends, are the statistics:

- the design is 10x13 - totaling in 130 total squares

- each square has:

- 3 rectangles (390 total)

- 2 lil white squares for the corner of the stars (260 total)

- 2 each of color and white squares, sewn together at an angle to make 4 mismatched triangles that make the sharp pointy edges of the stars (520 total)

this means each square has 9 pieces that are sewn together. two different designs, so they match up to make stars at their junctions.

then, the back’s a lot simpler hehe - 64 pieces, we won’t count the extra white on the sides cause that’s technically part of the binding

IN CONCLUSION - this quilt has a total of 1,234 individual pieces

the front - all the Number Two vibes. when I first started watching MBS, it brought me so much joy that she always was wearing some sort of shade of yellow and that my quilt was just like that.

the back - Nathaniel vibes. the blues and the crisp whites, the fish kinda remind me of the island haha - but @sophieswundergarten bringing up that he wakes up in her childhood room just brought it full circle. two of my favorite characters represented on the same quilt - GAH (again, Nathaniel after his redemption arc, and specifically his arc in @nobody33333333 ‘s SOS, because to some degree, I can relate)

I’d like to think that Nicholas has quilts like this in his house - maybe even a quilt for everyone that represents them cause he seems like the type to have that.

thank you all for coming to this incredibly long TedTalk and for being so kind about it - I’m super proud of this quilt and I’ve been so excited to share it with someone!

#kinda mbs #you guys - I’m just so proud of this #it’s probably my favorite thing I’ve done #thank you for being so supportive and kind and all the things #you are the best

[author-a-holmes]

Preface

This year was a year where I learnt a lot about myself. As many of you know, I released my debut novel, Changeling, in March. This was a literal dream come true for me, and I spent the majority of January, February and the first half of March editing the final files, and organizing the release.

All while trying to continue writing Darkling.

And then I burnt out. Hard. I wouldn't call it a mistake, I've learnt a lot about myself and the publishing process, and what my limits are, but it took me quite a bit longer than I'd have liked to recover from that burnout, and so my stats for this year, once I take a look at this, probably aren't going to be a steady as I'd like.

And what I mean by that is there were several periods where I tried to push forward, but had to let it go and continue just recuperating.

It's only been in the tail end of 2023 I've begun writing semi-regularly again, but I digress. Let's dig into some statistics for 2023...

Projects Worked On

Darkling 77,136 words (This year! Total manuscript is almost 100k right now) - Bonus Scene; 1,109

Flash Fiction Pieces 1,264 words over 4 pieces of flash fiction

Fanfiction 825 words over 2 pieces of fanfiction Fandoms: @night-market-if's The Night Market Interactive Fiction

Total Words Written in 2023: 82,415 Total Time Spent Writing in 2023: 71 hours 40 minutes

First Quarter - January-February-March

Words: 19,428 Time Writing: 19 hours 30 minutes Time Editing: 11 hours 20 minutes

This period I was hyper-focussed on getting ARC's of Changeling out to readers, finalising formatting, particularly for the Hardcover, reviewing proof copies, setting up all the various sales channels, and most of the time I logged in January was Editing Time as I needed to review the notes left my by Editor before release.

Once the editing was finalised, I tried catching up with Darkling in between everything else and this is where I really began struggling. I'd thrown myself into my self-edits in December of 2022, and in hindsight I really needed a break but, with a deadline approaching, I just couldn't take one.

Second Quarter - April-May-June

Words: 5,224 Time Writing: 2 hours 20 minutes

April and May I wrote absolutely nothing. Not a single word. And while I never announced it publically, June was supposed to be the original release date for Darkling.

Which meant I had to cancel my editor slot, and re-evaluate where I stood on what I could reasonably accomplish. This is really where I began to recognise how hard I'd pushed myself into a burnout.

After writing nothing for two months, June was where I tried to do a complete reset, and start from scratch building up my daily wordcount and, well. I just wasn't ready yet. I managed 2 days in June, on the 3rd and 4th, and then crashed back into writing nothing.

Third Quarter - July-August-September

Words: 1,346 Time Writing: 1 hour 20 minutes

After crashing in my reset attempt in June, I knew I had to just ride the burnout to it's end. Pushing was only going to make it last longer. I also knew I had a long-awaited holiday set in September. It was my first holiday in about 15 years, so I decided to not set any goals for this quarter. If the mood to write struck me, I'd go with it, but otherwise I was concentrating on reading, on preparing for my holiday, and on outlining other ideas, worldbuilding, and anything to do with my books that wasn't actually putting new words down on the page.

One of those things was figuring out a bonus scene to give away for Darkling Preorders, and I did try working on that a little in August. That's where most of my words for this quarter landed, but most of my time was spent outlining.

And the thing is, the holiday actually really helped. Where I went on holiday happened to be a very similar landscape/enviroment to one of the location in Darkling, and I found around the middle of the holiday I was handwriting in a notebook. I'd not done that in a long time.

Fourth Quarter - October-November-December

October Words: 2,439 Time Writing: 2 hours 45 minutes

November Words: 51,841 Time Writing: 43 hours 45 minutes

December Words: 2,273 Time Writing: 1hour 40 minutes

I came back from my holiday re-energised and knew I wanted to dive straight back into Darkling while still riding that high. I spent some time writing in October, before I hit a few snags and realised I needed to get a birds eye view on the plot.

So I stepped back from writing again to rehash my outline. I now have a timeline of events stuck to the large cupboard in my living room, but it set me up for success in November's Nanowrimo.

My original goal for Nano was 75k, which would have completed the Darkling Manuscript, but November Nano's are always hard, and I've only just pulled myself out of a 6-month burnout, so I had no intention of pushing myself too hard. I did win Nano, but with 51k and change.

Which left me just December to finish the final 20-25k. I'm always a little slower in December. A reaction to a fast Nanowrimo/November, combined with family and holiday seasonal stuff pulling at my time, so I didn't get as much done as I'd have liked, before Christmas prep took up all my free time. I did still managed a few thousand words though, so I was happy enough with that considering how the rest of 2023 had gone.

Goals for 2024

I try and keep my goals vague and loose, because I know I can't always commit to things, especially long term, but in general I'm just going to try and make self care a priority this year, while still making progress and moving forward with my writing.

Make my health a priority

Pace my writing and editing time to avoid burnout

Publish Darkling

Complete the Fey Touched manuscript

Send out my newsletter regularly

Books Read in 2023

I do consider the books I read part of my process. Something to refill the creative well, so here's a list of books I've read over the course of the year too...

Lux by Rae Else (My Review of 'Lux') .

Shut Up and Write The Book by Jenna Moreci (My Review of 'Shut Up & Write The Book') .

Fernweh Saga Book One (Interactive Fiction) (My Review of 'Fernweh Saga Book #1' on Steam) .

A Rival Most Vial by R.K. Ashwick (My Review of 'A Rival Most Vial') .

Changeling by Arista Holmes (Yes, I did reread my own book!) (Goodreads Reviews of Changeling; 4.58 Stars) .

The Enchantment Emporium by Tanya Huff (Tradpub) .

The Night Market Book One by Zinnia Demitasse (Interactive Fiction) (My Review of 'The Night Market Book #1' on Steam) .

Wrath and Wraiths, Chronicles of the Dawnblade Book Four by Andrew Claydon (My Review of 'Wrath and Wraiths') .

The Signature Move by Cassandra Diviak (My Review of 'The Signature Move') .

City of Souls by Mel Harding-Shaw (Reread!) (My Review of City of Souls) .

Shards of Stasis by Mel Harding-Shaw .

Shrine of Stars by Mel Hardin-Shaw . And my current read it;

The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski (Tradpub)

#2023 #2024 #January 2024 #Writer #Writer Community #Writing #Writing Community #Writeblr #Writeblr Community #Year In Review #Writing Year In Review #My Writing Year In Review #Ari Speaks #Arista Speaks

[lemonhemlock]

Ok so I went through your Helaemond tag a little bit and had complete whiplash because do not cite the deep magic to me etc., I was shipping it when it was me and iskarieot writing unhinged posts about BTS scenes for the Helaemond adult actors before the episode with them even aired. I dipped around the finale or maybe a little before (I have zero recollection) and had NO idea of the fandom furore lmao. I wrote one of the first Helaemond fics in the AO3 tag (💅) and was literally just mainlining the spice melange ok. I was seeing things my terrible purpose

I cannot believe it got this out of control???? All the moralising??? Nobody (all 5 of us) gave a fuck about team Black/team Green and it wasn't intended to discredit either side at all, although I did love the idea of Alicent's children doing the same shit as Rhaenyra - that was more because I love death misery and despair and Alicent/Rhaenyra parental role-model family tumbleweed free-for-all. You made our children like this!!! lesbian parthenogenesis so true so true

Anyway I really enjoyed the dark courtly romance of it all, one of the things which specifically interested me is that Aegonfail sloppy wet wish-I'd-been-born-a-girl-to-marry-Rhaenyra's-kids-aka-my-cousins-nephews is bad at practising Targcest since he's not interested in Helaena in the one scene that started it all, which is like, a Good Thing Perhaps, but Helaemond is also a little bit True Love, and so everything is lovely and fucked up. It made all the characters much more interesting because you get complexity added to three, even four characters in one fell swoop, illegitimate children or nay. Power is a shadow on the wall etc. I didn't actually like, have a dog in this illegal child fighting ring; I am interested in the way these characters interact with, resist, covet the feudal system/positions therein, the way men and women alike negotiate what power is afforded based on sex and arbitrary inheritance, and being in love with the wrong brother who has the Audacity to not want to Practise Incest, and so on and so forth. (This is my extrapolation anyway. I think it's interesting that dragonboy cannot dragonboy but also has the most beautiful dragon ever and is going to be the king styled after the vewy fiwst Aegon. At least one Targ has gotta have a bit of an ick with this whole business and Mummy's Number One Boy who's passed out drunk and doesn't even wunna rule has to be it for me).

I want to end this ask with an apology because I feel partially culpable, for some reason. I'm literally just a tumblrina nobody but at the very least I can say at ground zero (I didn't see your posts back then but also if you were There, you were There as well ofc - I'm sorry I didn't go back that far through your tag or see you mention when you started shipping it, and also Everybody Matters in fandom no matter when you join, and I want us all to hold hands, and I hate when we fight cries) it was never ill-intentioned. We were just crazy

My goodness, what an interesting piece of lore. 😅 You certainly pointed out a few of the themes that make helaemond appealing from a shipping point of view. The fact that you started to ship it just based on the actors' BTS just goes to show how perceiving a random interaction can open up new perspectives.

I personally started posting a few weeks after the season finale, but, like many people, my helaemond eyes opened just watching the dinner table scene (in conjunction with the Driftmark conversation between aegond regarding Helaena it was just a compounded thing).

And, of course, like you said it was never really meant to be anything other than a fun ship to play around with! I had very little clue about the endless moralising that was about to follow - November 2022 me would tell you it's goofy af to be so stuck up about another incest ship in THEE incest show and, honestly, she'd be right.

So, there's absolutely no need to apologise, we were all just trying to vibe within the freak slice of fandom. I don't think anyone started ~peddling this ship as an inside job against team green or to discredit Alicent or whatever the hell other chronically-online interpretation I've heard. :))

Personally, I know I've used this as a pretext to procrastinate from my actual responsibilities and it was definitely.....interesting.....to witness all the varied reactions, some more unhinged than others, but, at this point, all of us need to step back a little and chill, because there's nothing really to debate anymore. It's the time for fan artists and fic writers to shine.

#or for context-imaginers / fic prompters etc 😅 #ask #anon #helaemond

[coruscqte]

CONGRATS ON FINISHING IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK!! I literally found it on ao3 the day before yesterday and obsessed over it sm I finished it within slightly more than a day,,, haha,,,

(The last chapter dropped when I was a bit more than halfway through, bless your immaculate timing because I got to consume the whole thing in one go.)

Reading the whole thing was such an experience; I would read one chapter and get cavities from all the tooth-rotting fluff, then angst over the next because EzKayn was going through it. (Let's ignore the fact that it's exam season... and I've just been reading between studying... Your writing is too addicting;;;)

All my rambling aside, thank you so much for investing so much time and effort to write us this fanfic!! 😭🙏🏻 It's made me laugh and cry, but suffering through the sad parts was so worth it and the ending made me so happy :(

Rest well, you did amazing finishing such a long piece, I'll be looking forward to the epilogue in the future!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

omg hiiiii!! <3

first, oh my GOD you read this in almost a day??? that's bonkers to me, it even takes me (with my author-glazed-over-read-speed) quite a while to get back through it to look for particular details. i'm amazed you'd read it all that fast. i'm glad you liked it so much!!

(i'm also glad the timing worked out for you, wouldn't want you to be left on a cliffhanger, especially with this work. must've felt crazy good to get that lucky, huh?)

ahhh yes. it was super emotionally draining and exhilarating to write, so i hope that came off the same way for you. i love this fic so much, it's literally been my baby since even slightly before november (it was a meme at first, a part of chapter six was actually the first thing i ever wrote for this fic:

and promptly became the reason i finished the fic at all because i couldn't let the joke go. funny how that happens isn't it?), and ezreal + kayn have really left their mark on me here. i got to explore their lives, emotions, and relationship with each other to such an extent that i'm almost struggling to shake it properly to start work on something new. they really come with so many struggles and emotions to make themselves work together, but it's so gratifying when they eventually slot into each other's lives just perfectly.

also dw, everything up until chapter 12 was also written during my exam season. the siren's call of ezkayn was simply too much to ignore. i'm so lucky i finished the fic before spring finals (wish me luck with those lol) -- i hope you did well on yours too <3

thank you, my friend, for your support! this comment warms my heart so much to hear that you loved it just as much as i did. i hope my next projects will also be some of your favorites <3

#responses

[tenebrare]

Deus Ex- Sarif's attack dog (revisited) + Post about how and why this revisit came to be aka some self-reflect (warning: long, ... OMG too long)

During Inktober2022, when I was forced to (as its part of the challenge) post daily, in some point I took a look of my 2022 postings in general. I found that I have taken my blogs title "Sketchbook and doodles" too literal. Almost all my works posted were... are... 1-2 day quick scribbles and clearly unfinished. Except 3. 2 of which were done in 2021 and still fit the 1-2 day filling and one work which I had done while recovering serious health related issue and was forced to focus only on recovery and I kept working on a singular piece the time without thinking about completing the piece itself (as my goal was just to fill the time I was awake and give my brain something else than health to think about) nor being stressed by war, bills, work. And out of those 3 remaining works that last is only one I wouldn’t know how to change, when I open its original file now. Also the other remotely almost passable as closer to complete works were done before war and illness. Why I have rushed like this – where was I hurrying to? Did I believe I improve better if I do more? Yet my best fan-work of 2022 is one I did, when I was physically so weak I was barely able to hold any objects like my pen (even eating and holding a spoon exhausted me to the point I slept hours afterwards), but just invested more time on doing something. Inktober was like a sum of the same – out of the 31 works I did, the best one in my opinion is the one I failed at original day and did bit by bit on other remaining days. Where am I running to? I should sit the f*** down. 2022 is trying to tell me something and I should listen. It 1st broke my graphics card few days in. Started a war close enough month after. Got me ill and almost killed me next month after that and then heatwaved me to heat-sickness soon as I started to do some recovery few months down. Canceled all my long planned events and activities for august and changed what-and-how in September. Only thing it did not cancel was me seeing my favorite band in July (in fact ‘universe’ in particular delayed the gig to be in 2022 from 2020). Maybe by November I should take the darn hint? … I finally sat down after Inktober. Meditated a few days, sitting back against almost ice cold-radiator in a 12C room (the machinery in basement shut itself off again and it was 12C outside as well). So I went back and took one the unfinished works and gave myself no time limits - „It is done, when it is done.” I told myself - “I am not running anywhere, no one gave me deadline. I do this because I love doing stuff like this. Do it like you just hired yourself and want your moneys worth. And above all – have fun. I must have fun again, like when I was 2 and scribbled believing I am greatest painter in the world and for my family I was.” Uh, and the widget in the basement started working after I had found calm in self as well worked on this piece a few days and is stable 21C now. If I’d believe in paranormal, I’d say this house is alive and is catching up my moods. But thanks, house, for the widget being back online. The gas company found no fault in the widget and its systems. Not in spring, when it stopped working 1st time after being just installed, nor this falls … Well… in this region we believe that old houses have their own spirits and personalities after all. Here’s “Sarif’s Attack Dog” as I wanted it to be 8 months ago. Just spent 5 times more time on it. Viewer, who wants, does find flaws in it and could argue about ‘its done, when its done’ part, but it is not about if someone else can do it better, likes it or does not like it or any other 100 problems, but its about how I wanted it to look-like in given moment and gave myself time to do it. Maybe it should be my 2023 years resolution? “Sit the f-down and take my sweet time on all things I do – including fan-art?” Provided 2023 doesn’t try to kill me again, like 2022 did… tehehe? PS! That lone fully completed 2022 fan-art of mine was Francis Pritchard hacking Adams computer in Prague

#deusex #deusexfanart #deusexart #deus ex #david sarif #adamjensen #adam jensen #deusexgames #deusexuniverse #deus ex mankind divided #myart #illustration #life story #lifelessons #dxmd #dxhr #fanartfriday #fanart friday #deus ex fanart

[riddle-me-ri]

Twojar Riddler x F!Reader - Wedding Woes

A/N: Hi, so, uhh I’ve been mulling over this idea for a minute. For one, I wanna write anything I can to alleviate my dislike for Riddler’s Prelude to the Wedding issue (which is why this is twojar specific), because yeah, no. But also this is sort of a comfort piece for me? My family has not one, not two, but three weddings all less than five months apart from each other. My cousin’s was in June, and now my sister’s is coming up in November (two days after my bday rip, I know she couldn’t help it but goddamnit…) and my other cousin has her’s in January…and I literally just want to rip my hair out. So if you don’t mind I’m gonna indulge myself with this piece to help me cope with all this wedding madness going on..

Trigger Warnings: 18+ ONLY Minors DNI! Strong language, explicit sexual content (unprotected sex w/afab reader, fingering), mentions of violence and criminal activity

Word Count: 2.7 k

Twojar Riddler x F!Reader - Wedding Woes

Well, guess the news around town was true. 

The Bat and the Cat…finally tying the knot, who would’ve thunk. You were fairly certain Selina wouldn’t be the type to want to be tied down to a commitment. You shrugged as you took in the city skyscape from your balcony. 

I wonder how Eddie’s taking it? What he thinks of this engagement…

Speak of the Devil, he came to join you out on the balcony. You fell backwards into his chest when he wrapped his arms around you from behind. He placed his chin on top of your head after kissing the top of it. 

He’s quiet, way too quiet. 

“Have you heard the news?” You asked, offering a line of conversation. 

Ed scoffed, you could feel the outtake of air move some hair around. “How could anyone have not heard? It’s all anyone is talking about…”

“I’m still pretty baffled.” You commented. “I just didn’t see Selina being the type, nor Bats really.”

“I never thought he could divorce himself from Gotham.” You joked. “Unless they’ve got some kinda special three way going on..”

Edward chuckled, but more out of habit than sincerity. After a moment of awkward silence, you turned around to face him. You put your arms on top of his, that were still wrapped around you. Your hands rested on his chest as you start gently caressing him. 

“What’s up, Eddie? I can tell when your minds turning, but I’ll be damned if I know what it is without you telling me…” You giggled. 

Nothing. Your eyebrows started to furrow in the middle. 

“Eddie?”

“W-would you…would you ever consider marrying me?”

Oh…OH

You mouth was opening and closing, trying to get your brain to start thinking and speaking your next words. 

“I, um, uh…well…to be honest I never thought about it,  like just marriage in general. Never saw it in my cards. I mean sure when I was little, I think every little girl thinks about her own when they go to their first wedding of a family member. But as time went on, and the more I saw the uglier side of things, I just never thought about it.” 

Edward nodded. “I, too, never thought much about it. Until tonight anyway. I never suspected Batman and Catwoman, in hindsight I should have, given how close they are and just how much he lets her off the hook.” 

“However, she’s easier to forgive I suppose. She hasn’t caused mass terror throughout the city, killed countless civilians…” 

You pulled him closer to you, resting your head on his chest. Your hands going up his back as you gently rubbed his shoulder blades. His arms dropped to his side as you held him in your embrace. 

“I’m beyond forgiveness and redemption. I’m not someone who gets married.” He concluded. 

“Oh, Eddie…” You squeezed around his abdomen tighter. 

“I’m not even sure why you’ve stuck it out with me for so long…I-I have nothing to give you in terms of a future, surely not a happy ending either.” 

“I don’t need a happy ending and if I’m with you in my future that’s all I want.” You picked your head up to look him in the eyes. 

“You make it sound incredibly romantic.” He huffed. “But it doesn’t change or make it better. Doesn’t change who I am, what I’ve done, and what I’m bound to do.” 

“I know, I know it won’t, but I’m willing to accept it. Willing to take the bad with the good. Because you make me happy, we’re happy together.”

You brought your hands back around from behind him and held his face in your hands. Your thumb gliding over both his cheeks. 

“That…that’s, that’s rather selfish. Staying with a murderer, terrorist, criminal like me…because I make you happy.”

“If being happy with you…in a world where no matter how much good you do, no matter how many rules you follow, or cross your T’s and dot your I’s. You still get fucked over, taken advantage of, and spit on. If loving you makes me finally feel a fraction of happiness and tranquility, despite who you are and what you’ve done…hell yes I’m selfish. I’m selfish as hell. And I don’t give a damn.” 

You smiled proudly as Ed’s eyes widened at your statement. 

“Riddle me this…” Your hands slid down his face and locked behind his neck. “Oswald Cobblepot has a pretentious one. Selina Kyle’s can also be a first name. And Bruce Wayne’s is printed all over the city. And I want yours, what am I?”

Ed’s eyes furrowed for a second as he mulled over it. His mind immediately forgetting the previous thoughts whirling around in his head. You could tell he finally got it when he let out a soft chuckle and shook his head. 

“Very cute, Y/N.”

“If you got on your knee right now and asked me to marry you I would say yes with no hesitation. I think Y/N Nygma has a good ring to it. Don’t you?” You tilted your head, a sweet smile plastered on your face. 

Ed nodded. “Yes, it really does..”

“And besides…” You began. You removed your hands from Ed’s face and held his hands as you outstretched both your arms. 

“Who needs a wedding?” You proposed. “Who needs a guestlist, invitations, registries, DJs and music. Hell, who even needs the minister!” 

You squeezed Edward’s hands as you gave him a beaming smile. “Do you, Edward Nygma, take me, Y/N L/N, to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we both shall live.” You pulled him closer to you with each vow until he was back in your embrace. 

“I-I didn’t even ask you.” Ed chuckled, breathlessly.

“I had a feeling you wouldn’t think it’ll ever be okay to ask me, so I just took it out of the equation.” You smirked. 

“I do.” Ed smiled. 

“And I do too, shamelessly, now and always. Ring or no ring” You framed his face again with your hands. Your face inched closer and closer to his. 

“You may now–mm!” Your statement was interrupted by Edward crashing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. 

You smiled into the kiss, as you squeezed his face. His arms found home again around your waist. 

When the need for air overcame the desire to stay lip locked, you both backed away from the kiss. Ed rested his forehead on top of yours. You leaned up to kiss his nose. 

“What ever will I do with you?” He muttered. 

“Well, you better figure it out, looks like you’re going to be stuck with me for a long time.” You teased as you scrunched up your nose. 

Ed snickered. “There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with…Mrs. Nygma.”

You gasped before letting out a fit of giggles. “I was right it does sound nice.” 

Edward let you go and back away from you, but was back at your side and before you knew it, he had you in his arms with your feet off the ground. He was carrying you, carrying you like a groom would his bride from the church. 

You shrieked as your feet suddenly left the ground, but your shrieks were replaced by laugher as you wrapped your arms around his neck to hang onto something. 

You kissed his cheek as he carried you back into the apartment. Through the living room and through an open door that belonged to your shared bedroom. He playfully tossed you on the bed. You laughed as you got up on your knees and went to the foot of the bed to wrap your arms back around him. 

You leaned in for another kiss, one more passionate and sloppy than before. Your hands crawled to the back of his head, your fingers combed through his orange strands. When you had to separate to get another gulp of air, you started kissing his cheek, his jawline, developing a trail down to his shoulder. 

Ed cupped the side of your face, to bring it back up to look at him. He grabbed the edges of your oversized shirt and quickly pulled it over your body, exposing your upper half to him. It was his turn to start peppering your skin with kisses, going down a very similar path to the one you had started on his skin. 

Your hands dropped down to his lower abdomen. Your fingers wiggled to get underneath his white shirt, to start pulling it off him. He felt your warm fingers touch his skin, causing him to tense a little until he noticed what you were doing. 

“Need help?” 

“That’d be splendid, Mr. Nygma.” 

He chuckled as he stepped away from you to pull his shirt over his head. No matter how many times he bares himself to you, your mouth never ceases to water at the sight. You fell back onto the bed, scooting yourself closer to the head of the bed. Ed crawled onto the bed and hovered over you. You couldn’t resist leaning up to steal another kiss from his sweet lips. 

As the two of you kissed, his hands began exploring your body. Squeezing and caressing wherever he recalled got you gasping and moaning into his lips. Like when he kneads your chest or squeezes your love handles. It doesn’t take long for you to start moaning. 

He breaks the kiss to continue what he started. He kissed and lapped along your neck before softly suckling along the bone. His hands continued to roam your body, until it got to the band of your shorts. 

You gasped as your lower half was now exposed, and you laid completely bare before him. One of his hands went back to knead your breast, while the other stayed below your waist. His index finger softly caressing in between your folds. His mouth went to your other breast and began softly sucking on the nipple.

“E-Eddie…” You moan softly. One of your hands was cradling the back of his head, while the other clung around his back. Slowly, Ed eased his finger inside of you, which caused you to gasp in surprise but was quickly melted into moans. Satisfied at finally feeling some friction. 

Edward continued to steadily pump his finger in and out of you. Occasionally taking his thumb to rub long tight ovals into your clit, which caused his hands to get soaked even more. Using the extra slick, he was able to ease his middle finger to join in his ministrations. 

You grabbed his face again and brought his lips to yours. Your tongue impatiently parted from your lips, wanting access to enter his. He willingly allowed your tongue to roam his mouth. He quickened his fingers’ pace in and out of you. You moaned into the kiss, between the warmth of his mouth and the friction to your core. You were melting into the bedsheets below you. 

As Edward’s fingers felt your walls start to tighten around his fingers more frequently, he removed them from your core. You tore from the kiss to let out a frustrated sigh. 

“You were getting close…” He mumbled. 

“Yeah.” You growled. 

He snickered before pecking your forehead. “I’ll make it up to you, I always do don’t, I?” 

You roll your eyes but muttered a soft, “yeah…I guess.” 

Ed removed his sweatpants and boxers in one swift pull and he tossed them somewhere off to the side of the bed. He got back in place, hovering directly above you. You looked down to see him gently pump his hard cock. He took the precum developed at the head and spread it along his cock. He leaned back over you, lining his cock up to your entrance, rubbing the head gently in between your folds. 

You and Ed both let out sharp moans and groans when he finally entered you fully. Your legs wrapped tightly like a vice around his waist. You moved your hands to go back to hold his face, but he stopped them before they mad contact. He placed your hands down on the mattress near your head. He entwined his fingers with yours, squeezing your hands against his flesh and the sheets. 

Sounds of your moans grew, as he resumed the pace he started with his fingers. His dick filling you more than his fingers, and reaching further into you than his fingers could. 

“E-Eddie…mmm…”

His head dipped back down towards you, tucking it back between your neck and shoulder. Edward started nipping and suckling along your collarbone as he picked up his thrusting pace. Your hands squeezed his, your nails barely scrapping against his rough knuckles.

You turned your head, so your lips could reach his face. You began kissing alongside his face or the top of his head, as he moved along the front of you. 

“I love you, Edward Nygma...mmm…n-nothing will change that.” You manage to mutter out between your gasps and moans. 

Edward increased his pace at your words, making you swallow any other words you may have had. Replacing them with cries and moans. 

“I love you…” he grunted. “A-Absolutely adore you.” 

Both of your hands squeezed each other before he pulled one of his hands away to go down your body. You released your other hand from his and opted to wrap your arms around his neck. While one of his hands were at your front, the other wrapped around your back, slowly lifting you off the bed. 

The hand in your front squeezed between your bodies, finally finding it’s destined location. His thumb started stroking your clit again in tight fast circles. 

“E-Ed…mmm…Eddie!” 

“Y/N…ahh..” He began thrusting harder and faster. Pulling completely out with just the tip of his head still in and thrusted fully back in, before repeating.  

Your nails began biting his head and back, the hand on his back slowly dragging them down his spine, causing him to groan deeper. The sound making you squeeze your walls tighter around his cock. 

The all too familiar knot was getting tighter and tighter, just moments from coming undone. You tried to hold out just a little bit longer, wanting to cum with him. 

Your lips collide once more with Edward’s as your hands converge at his head. Your fingers combing through bits of his hair and sideburns. Your thumbs rubbing his cheeks, lovingly.  All it took was one more thrust, he stilled himself inside you. His thumb never stopped twirling around your clit as your walls held his cock in a chokehold. 

You broke the kiss as your body broke out in a warm sticky sweat, your body and limbs convulsing under him. Edward wrapped his arms around you, holding you close during the shakes. You shivered as you felt his release fill you up to the brim. 

As Ed gently laid you back down onto the mattress, he lovingly tucked your hair back and out of your face. He gave you a kiss on the forehead before looking back at into your eyes. You leaned up a little to give him a small sweet kiss. 

After cleaning up, and you stole yet another shirt of his. It didn’t take you long to fall into a dreamless sleep on his bare chest. The both of you cuddled in the bed and cozy under the covers. Edward had an arm wrapped around you, his hand periodically caressing your arm up and down. 

He looked down upon your sleeping figure. Someone that was comfortable, at ease, and truly happy with himself. He didn’t even like himself most days, not that anyone would know he hid it pretty damn well. Yet, there was you, an even greater conundrum than he is. 

Be that as it may, in moments like this…everything made sense. For a moment, Edward thought just about anything is possible now, especially with you. Maybe just maybe, matrimony isn’t entirely out of the question for him. 

“Riddle me this…Oswald Cobblepot has a pretentious one. Selina Kyle’s can also be a first name. And Bruce Wayne’s is printed all over the city. And I want yours, what am I?”

He grinned. 

It’s a last name.

#the war of jokes and riddles riddler x reader #the war of jokes and riddles edward nygma x reader #the war of jokes and riddles ridder x reader smut #twojar riddler x reader #twojar edward nygma x reader #twojar riddler x reader smut #sorry for the small dose of trauma dumping during the beginning #rip #but it helped me take some weight off my shoulders for a minute #this was incredibly self indulgent #im so sorry

[noregretsjustlovely]

I re-read the fic ‘Dalton’ by CP Coulter every year, usually starting in November-December. I just finished up and I’m dyyinngggg for an update. An update I’ve been wanting for a decade.

I had a literal aneurism when CP Coulter started posting again on Tumblr, promising to update. I hadn’t been on tumblr in yeaarrssssss and I just so happened to check in on her page one day and had a meltdown! It’s been quiet for almost two years now, but I’m still hoping and waiting for her return. <3

So here’s just a small piece that I was dying to write because Reed and Shane are my all time favorite pairing of ALL TIME! So this is another version of Kurt trying to help Reed figure it out.

_____________

The bristles of the paint brush slid across the canvas, lopping at the end, leaving behind a dark, delicate curl of hair. The artist pulled his brush back, scrutinizing his work. His lips pursed and his brows scrunched as he gazed at the piece of artwork, searching for what was missing. To anyone else, this picture would have looked complete, but to Reed Van Kamp, it was not. Because, well…

He could never finish.

He let out a frustrated breath, pushing his supplies away and crossing his arms. “Having a moment?” He could hear the amusement in his roommates voice.

“Please, Kurt, I’m already struggling.” His strawberry curls fell around his porcelain, freckled face as he dropped his head, shaking it slightly. “Why can’t I stop?”

“Stop what?” Kurt asked. “Stop painting him? Or stop failing to paint him?”

“Stop thinking about him.” Reed whispered. Kurt tried to suppress a smile, failing only slightly. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

“You’re falling in love, I think.” The countertenor answered from where he was proofreading an essay for the 10th time. Professor Murdoch would never be able to fail this one.

“Kurt, don’t say things like that!” Reed flailed so hard, he almost sent himself off the edge of the stool he sat upon. “I don’t even think I’m…gay. Or at least, I’ve never thought about it!”

Kurt let out a breath through his nose, noting his place in the essay and pushing his chair back from the desk. He strutted over to Reed, grabbing his wrist and yanking him to the artist’s plush white bed. Reed stumbled on the way, falling onto the bed with an “oof.”

“Reed,” Kurt gave him a stern look as he pulled him upright. “Have you ever actually thought about anything? Like being straight, I mean,” the diva clarified. “Have you ever been attracted to a girl?” Reed was silent for several seconds. Kurt waited patiently, knowing the answer.

“Well…not exactly, I guess?” The small artist finally relented. “I’ve grown up watching the most gorgeous women strut down runways and model for magazines, and I’ve always been able to acknowledge that, of course. But, I guess I’ve never thought anything other than that. That they look good in the designer clothes.” He sighed and fell backwards on the bed, his legs hanging over the edge. “It’s just…scary. I’ve never had someone so openly…taken with me?”

Kurt snorted. “‘Taken’ is the understatement of the century. Shane literally worships the ground you walk on. When you’re within a mile of him, his eyes never leave your direction.” He patted Reed on the knee. “I know it’s confusing and stressful for you, Reed, trust me, I do. But no one is expecting or forcing you to make any decisions. Even Shane. He may be hoping and praying and pleading to the heavens, but he would never pressure you into an answer or reciprocation. Time is all yours, my fellow fashionista.” He glanced over at his best friend, who had his face hidden behind the arm draped over his head. “I do think, however, that you should seriously consider trying to figure it out soon, though. I can see how much this is bothering you. We will all love and support whichever decision you make. Do you want me to ask Blaine to have Shane back off?”

A small spasm caused the bed to shake slightly. “I’ll take that as a ‘no?’” Kurt smirked, enjoying the color making its way to Reed’s face. “Okay, let’s get real here. Do you think he’s cute?”

“Kurt-“ Reed groaned, pulling his arm from his face and glaring at the ceiling.

“Answer the question, Reed. Stop being such a drama queen.”

“…” Kurt could hear Reed grumble a quiet response.

“Reed! Sit up and answer me right now, or I’ll take the tweedles’ zombie apocalypse baseball bat to your brand new art supplies!” Reed shot straight up, staring wide eyed at Kurt.

“…you wouldn’t.” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. His roommate just raised a delicate eyebrow at him, poker face strong.

“Would you like to test that theory?” Reed wasn’t sure that he did. He saw Kurt destroy Tabitha without even breaking a sweat. “Now, do you, Reed Van Kamp, think that Shane Anderson is cute?”

Absentmindedly, Reed was tinkering with the ring that hung around his neck as he glanced over to the abandoned painting. His eyes traced over the perfect details of the subject’s face. Every laughter line and every smooth curl of his brunette hair. He lingered on the swirls of green in the eyes that he had memorized and he almost smiled. “He’s beautiful.”

Kurt’s eyebrows shot up. “Like runway model beautiful? Or like you’re falling in love beautiful?” Read glared at him, but he was failing at fighting the grin that began to grace his face. “Noted.” Kurt laughed. “So, what does anything else matter, then? You don’t need to label yourself, Reed. If you’re not completely comfortable with shouting it from the rooftops, then don’t. But if you like him, and he makes you happy when he’s around, then isn’t that enough? It would be enough for him. And you know as well as I do that everyone here would be more than happy for you.”

Reed shook his head with a laugh, eyes misty. “I do know that, of course. I don’t know why I’ve been so worried.” He threw his arms around Kurt, who yelped in surprise, but hugged him back, patting his messy hair. “Thank you, Kurt. You always know what to say.”

Kurt chuckled as Reed pulled away, and he held onto the shorter boy’s shoulder. “I just want you to be happy. I can see that, even though you get jumpy around him, you do enjoy his company. I just hope you can “diva up” soon and claim it.” The ‘Alice’ of Windsor winked at him. The ‘Dormouse’ just pushed him slightly away with an eye roll accompanied by a smile.

“Don’t hold your breath,” Reed sighed, eyes still a little prickled from the conversation. He stood and brushed his hands over his wrinkled clothes. Yanking his sleeves up, he made his way back over to the canvas, only tripping slightly on the way. Planting back down onto the stool, he picked up a clean brush, dipping it into one of the colors on his palette. Kurt considered him for a moment, but decided to just let him be for now to sort through his thoughts. The countertenor walked back over to his desk, starting back where he left off on his paper.

It could not have been more than 20 minutes before Kurt heard the clatter of a brush hitting the ground. He cringed at the image of spilled paint, but the concerned thought left him the moment he saw Reed’s face.

The strawberry blonde boy sat, paint streaked down his clothes from where the brush fell, staring in amazement at his artwork.

His finished artwork.

“I…I did it.” As Shane’s lovestruck expression stared back at him from the canvas, the expression he always wore when looking at Reed, the smile that took over the artist’s face was small and intimate, and a single tear finally escaped his eyes.

#I honestly haven’t written anything in so long and I forgot how much I loved it #Shane Anderson #Kurt Hummel #Reed Van Kamp #Dalton #CP Coulter #Rane #Ranebows #Ranebow

[ct-hardcase]

2023 art summary, coming in fashionably late. Director's commentary under the cut:

January: I feel proud of this one, but also feel kind of sad that over the course of a whole year, that January is the artistic highlight. I had a few free days at the beginning of the year where I was alone, and got this wild drive to draw something that I very rarely, if ever, get anymore, especially for a piece that includes a background. Pessimism aside though, I'm really happy with how this came out, barring some aspects of Kanan's facial anatomy I could improve on and Ahsoka's hand (I gave up here, don't look too closely). I've had the scene in my mind for a while, and I'm glad I could finally take it on artistically.

February: Yes, technically this was published in March. As far as I can find, this is possibly the only thing I drew in February, sketches included. I published it on twitter and tumblr in Feburary, fully intending to leave it at the flats, but decided to render a bit on 03/01. On account of my literally having nothing else for the month, I let it slide. I'm also happy to have finished a piece for Seventh/Fifth, and it received pretty decent reception considering it's a bit of a rarepair.

March: I didn't do much, but I did draw Trilla, Eighth, and Reva; and the dynamic has been shamelessly influenced by To Gain The Harbor on Ao3, which has occupied my head rent-free this year.

April: I actually drew two things this month, but I chose Voe, since I always have to have my annual Voe in these, and I'm really happy with how I drew her, here. It's also unpictured due to the formatting constraints, but this one also contained one of my best Kylos. 

May: Work started getting very busy here (and never really stopped), so this is where ~sketch season~ starts. I noticed that I sketched a lot of sitting and kneeling this year, which is a bit of a flex, since I've historically had trouble with that (and am still not perfect, but getting there).

June: Credits to Senshistock for the pose here, but I decided to focus back in on anatomy, which was honestly driven by my beginning to consistently exercise for the first time since college—I got a lot more in tune with the practical aspects of how my own and other bodies could move, and though a lot of my poses are static, I find that it's a pretty big influence on my art this year.

July: It's at this time that my love for Reva also turned a corner—I objectively loved her as a character from the beginning, but around this time or June is when she rocketed herself to my third-favorite (hehe) inquisitor. She really grips me as a character, and she featured pretty prominently in my art this year.

August: Was busy touching grass this month, so didn't do a ton of drawing, but did a quick sketch of a village babushka.

September: I decided to color a drawing of Samantha Trapp and Kilner from We Fix Space Junk, which has carried me through many a hard day, and while the drawing feels just a little off, I think I at least somewhat maintained my ability to color something in.

October: I decided to treat myself and buy some fancy pens, and decided on the Sarasa pens on a whim. While they haven't been the cure-all to my art block, they are so much fun to draw in, and about half my sketches from October-present have been with these. Also, Rey!

November: Reva brainrot feat. The Grand Inquisitor. A friend and I were talking over an AU where the Grand Inquisitor (as a Jedi) takes Reva on as his Padawan, and I had to draw it.

December: I sketched a fair bit this month, but decided to go with Eighth.

#CTartcase

[ovaryacted]

HIIIIIIII!!!!!! How you doing Nic <<3 I haven't been on Tumblr for ages so idk if I missed any new fanfic from you? (Though I guess I'll find out soon enough cause I'm about to stalk ur blog again)

What have you been up to besides simping for Leon? And has the holiday mood hit you yet? I hope you're doing great!!! My days have literally been PACKED with exams I'm so exausteddd. I'm really proud of myself today cause I think I did very well on an exam I literally started studying for this morning (gonna get that stupid degree 🫡🫡) the exam was a nightmare cause the professor was literally like fifteen minutes late and she made it so damn difficult for no reason 🤧🤧 FUCK PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY I'M SICK AND TIRED!!!

But anyway, ur blog always gets my mood up tho!! Even though I don't have a lot of time lately I love binging ur posts whenever I have a second to breathe. I know I've said this before but you're my favorite blog on here! Keep up the good work pookie <33

Also I just got a notification of you saying you want someone to bully you into writing so I guess I gotta make this ask meaner like...

START WRITING RIGHT THE **** NOW YOU ******* PIECE OF **** DON'T BE SUCH A ***** *****🤬😡😤

Did that help ☺️?

Anyhow yeah, just felt like sending an ask cause I haven't in a while. I'm really proud of you btw, don't overwork yourself Nic! Quality over quantity is te way to go <33 byeee lovelieeee ❤️❤️❤️

-🌑

MY NEW MOON ANON BABY HI HOW ARE YOU I’VE MISSED YOU!! 🩶

I’m decent, kind of just trying to survive and go through the motions. November’s been rough, December is kinda worse BUT I’m chilling for the most part. I hope you’re doing alright especially with your studies!! I’m super proud of you for focusing on school work and getting good grades. And yes, fuck physical chemistry, but the real bitch in the sciences is physics (I love biology and chemistry lmao, but absolutely can’t stand physics!). I’m sure that you will do great for this semester, I wish you the absolute best on your finals. Take care of yourself, eat well and stay hydrated, and do get your rest. I remember how I was during finals when I was still in school, absolutely tore me apart I was running on lattes like it was water LMAO. But I hope you get your break very soon!

I always love seeing your messages, they make me happy. But I also feel ashamed I haven’t written anything new though I am in the process of getting back in the groove of things. My brain just hasn’t kicked in when it comes to smut and it’s like I know what to write, just never know how?? I have so many ideas, and usually I’m very good at creating intricate hcs or plot points or need be, but when it comes to writing it out it just takes me forever to do it now. It’s a process, but I know I’ll have something for you to read soon. The bullying is working tho, I will say that because the second you sent me that message I actually opened up my computer and wrote something 😭 So thank you!

And btw, I got your longer ask, I didn’t forget about you wanting more sub Leon. I have two WIPs in the process, jumping between them, but now I’m changing the way I’m seeing and writing for Leon so I have to tweak some things out. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten. Thank you for the lovely message seriously. 🫶🧡

#ovaryacted asks #₊˚⊹♡ ─ new moon anon 🌑

[gratisdiamanten]

if it’s not too late for the wip game i’m really curious about apokatastasis! love ur writing style

My friend calls it “slow burn eternally pre-slash” which is a pretty good way to describe it? Kind of dark but mostly kind of heavy and expansive. Almost everyone has died in a pandemic and like a small group all scattered is trying to pick up the pieces.

Daniel abandoned his family six months into it—he’s 16 and angry and scared and he lies to them that he’s heading out to find food but he leaves them presumably to die. He’s violent in the initial months on his own fighting for food. But that fades as time passes and there are fewer people who are more tired and at this point you’ve either banded with a group or died.

As things start to slow, Max is very young at this point, like 8, and he starts following Daniel and refuses to leave even when Daniel threatens him. Jos had descended into religious psychosis in the final months of collapse and was planning to kill them and Sophie made him and Victoria go outside and run in opposite directions and never look back. So he’s frightened and has been abandoned by groups or adults multiple times at this point and just wants someone to protect him, so despite the fact he’s beginning to starve he tries to offer Daniel some of his food to convince him to let him stay. This kind of annoys Daniel because now he would feel bad leaving him. But he keeps him around and eventually Max shares his sleeping bag bc it’s November now and very cold. He tries to take care of Max, because he’s all he’s got left. But Max had gotten sick, just hadn’t died. He lapses into illness often.

Max barely remembers the world before. He collects magazines… looks at pictures of homes and picnics and weddings and celebrity drama. Tries to read books but they kind of bore him. He likes the pictures. He saves them by the stack, asks Daniel questions all the time. One time during the winter, they’re dying of cold with no tinder for the fire, and Max offers his magazines. Daniel feels so guilty. Max says I won’t be able to find more if we die, Daniel, it’s okay.

When Max is 13-14, they come across an old vacation cabin by a lake, which is reasonably constructed, an old dusty bed inside and a couple small rooms. And they try and build a home there. Daniel sees Max familially- kind of as a son/brother/best friend, but Daniel’s literally all Max had ever had, so of course Max falls for him :( and Daniel keeps refusing him. So he’s caught between upsetting Max (refusing him) and harming him (giving him what he wants) and it kills him how he has to comfort him so often while he’s the one causing the pain. But he’s clinging to his humanity and his responsibilities and trying to make up for the family he abandoned. He loves Max. Just won’t in that way.

Anyway Max grows more sick over the years, intermittently having times that promise recovery, and Daniel grows frightened some nights that he won’t wake up. Ear to his chest fingertips in the hollow of his throat. Feeling for the thread-tug of his pulse. And then Max wakes up and touches his hand there. And Daniel aches bc he can feel him leaving him every day

Max passes when he’s 19 :( Daniel never wanted him to die by himself but Max dies when Daniel leaves for the first time in days to hunt. Max would have been relieved he didn’t see it. Anyways. The suffocating greenness of a landscape recovering from humanity mocking it with its growth and life :) the stifling smell of the forest the indifferent chorus of birds even as Daniel buries him!

Addition: kind of reader’s choice if Daniel has grown to reciprocate by the end but he can’t tangibly as like. A character mechanism. Like the point of this Daniel is him trying to preserve old norms trying to stay Human. Anyway. Kind of emotionally a choose your own adventure

#asks #anon #apokatastasis