#i literally have not recovered from the first one

[thr-333]

I just realized. I don't think I've seen anything about April in OaaHF. Where is she? What does she do in the resistence? How aware is she of Leon's situation?

Set while Leon is recovering from his first facial scar:

“No, no way!”

Leon groaned as the yell woke him, sound getting choked out by the bandages wrapped tight around his neck. Constricting his airway making it so he could never get a full breath, was always light headed. Although that could be the bloodloss.

“We need his portals, its not a-”

“I don’t care if it’s a transport mission, I don’t care if he’s at the very back line, you are not getting him out of that bed,”

Leon scrunched up his face so he wouldn’t have to deal with the light of day. Or the light of med bay. He wanted to go back to sleep and it wasn’t even the yelling that was stopping him. Pain flared along his face and shoulder in tandem with his heartbeat. Bandages pulled meticulously tight making every throb worse.

“It’s not an active mission, I’ve mapped out the points all Kraang will be avoided-”

“Then you do it!”

That voice, Leon knew it even past the haze pain. Probably helped that there were no painkillers available to keep him floaty. He sighed his big sisters voice was always soothing, well when she wasn’t yelling at him. Although he supposed she technically was.

“Ape’s I’m needed here,” Leo reasoned, his voice was deep and raspy. Huh Leon wondered if his voice sounded closer to it now, “I can’t up and leave the resistance without aleader for a minor mission,”

“So you admit it’s a minor mission!” April accused, Leon tried to open his eyes. The best he could make out was a couple of blurry figures until the light forced him to shut them.

“Minor but needed, lives are at stake here April,”

“His life is at stake!” Leon opened his mouth, but his throat was raw and the skin of his cheek pulled weirdly threatening to make him throw up if he tried. He tried anyway, why should be matter? “If he moves that wound, the wound you gave him is going to tear right open, he won’t survive that a second time,”

“April it was an accident, my hand slipped,” 

His future self was right of course. After all he had been the one to sacrifice his scarf to keep as much blood inside Leon’s body as possible. He had literally held Leon’s life in his hands. You didn’t do that for a person you were actually trying to kill… no matter how much it looked lik you wanted to seconds before.

That was fine. It was an accident. Leon shouldn’t have baited him.

“Bullshit, also I don’t give a crap, he’s not ready for field work!”

“The doctor cleared him,”

“Which you know they shouldn’t have!” April screeched, ugh Leon wished she wouldn’t, “Come on Leo you're a medic, just look at him!”

There was silence. Leon held still pretending to be asleep. Which was easy as he was teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. Only the jabs of pain and his sister keeping him present.

“It’s between him and them,”

“Him, everytime, my little brother should come first everytime,” Leon’s heart didn’t know if it should skip a beat or clench. It was the answer he wanted to hear- but one he was completely undeserving of.

“I can’t play favorites,”

“Plaaeesseee,” The pure amount of sarcasm poured into the tone would have shot three men dead, “Is that why Mikey’s locked up in the underground bunker within an underground bunker, deep fried and finished with magic?”

“April-”

“Or how about Donnie’s lab, which is enforced with thirty percent of our titanium stores?” Leo would have rolled his eyes if they wouldn't just keep rolling back into his head. Obviously it wasn’t a matter of favoritism, his brothers were simply more important than him, “And how me and Cassie keep getting shortlisted missions? Junior hasn’t left your side in months and you haven't left this safehold in a year? Yet guess who’s going on missions every other week?”

“It’s all a matter of circumstance,” Leo’s voice took on a cold and harsh tone, “I’m trying to keep everyone alive for the sak-”

“Everyone but Leon,” 

She called him Leon… when had he become Leon? When has he started solely thinking of himself as Leon? Why was his futureself exclusively Leo? The thoughts were to hard to capture, slipping through his hands like sand. He wasn’t sure he wanted to dwell on them anyway.

“Well sucks for you but I care about keeping him alive, even if you don’t,” 

That wasn’t fair, he cared about Leon he did, as much as he could. Leon didn’t make it easy, after… after everything he caused. He couldn’t blame his future self for being a bit weird. He cared where it counted. Leon would’ve been dead three times over now if he didn’t.

“This mission is needed-”

“I’ll go then,”

No, April

“April, No,”

“If it’s so important you need to drag him out of bed and risk reopening the slice you put in his neck then it’s important enough for I, commander O’Neil to take over,”

“You’re not who you are in the future, you’re not Commander O’Neil,”

“And I never will be if you keep coddling,” April spat, “Besides I don’t care about being a commander right now, I care about being a sister, so it’s either I take the mission or you cancel it,”

The silence stretched on. Leon grasped onto his threads of consciousness. Purposely twitching his shoulder to get the fiery pain to keep him awake. It was amazing how something could fill him with so much dread yet he still selfishly felt hope that they would go through with it. Because he was selfish, rather stay hidden away in bed in a back room of the stronghold while his big sister fronted all the danger.

“Fine,” Relief and dread, unfortunately not in equal measure, “You come back alive understand?”

“Oh darn, there go my plans,” April tossed back, a shade closer to her usual teasing tone but still tense.

Leo didn’t answer. Because he was Leo, even in Leon’s own mind. But the older turtle huffed. Leon listened to his footsteps fade as Aprils got closer. The dip in his bed bit him to open his eyes.

“Heya blue, you awake?” April’s hand gently brushed his forehead, Leon cringed as he opened his eyes, “How’re you doing?”

He couldn’t answer, not really. So he leaned into her palm. Flinching as the small movement pulled on his wound from neck to cheek. He hissed through the pain. Tight bandages around his throat feeling suffocating as he would have struggled to breath even without them.

“Sorry, sorry, just wanted to check in,” The details of Aprils face were hard to make out pain blurring them out, “I’m going away for a mission,”

“Do… t,” Leon tried to sound out, it didn’t come anywhere close, but hey look at that: His voice was raspy.

“Don’t worry about me, it’s my job to worry about you,” She pat his cheek, thumb rubbing soft circles under his eye, “Seriously, please, it’s ok to care about yourself, you should, once in a whil- actually all the time,”

Leon shook his head imperceptibly. She was wrong. He had done that, over and over again. Each time they lost so much. He couldn’t, not anymore. Why couldn’t she understand that? 

Leo understood that. He knew what it was like to sit with that guilt, that self hate. He knew how to work for others to ease that feeling even a little bit. As losses stacked everyday and crushed him under their weight.

“I bet your thinking something stupid right now,” April pinched his opposite cheek, the unscarred one that showed off his brilliant red stripe, “I wish you were better so I could beat my love into your skull, but we’ll have to save that for when I get back,”

Leon plucked up the strength to use his right arm. Greaspoing Aprils loosely. He needed to get his point across, even without words, he had to.

“I will be alright, you rest up,” April moved from his grasp to instead thread their fingers together, “I’m your big sister, I’m always going to look out for you, even if I have to do that by not being here,”

No, no that wasn’t what he meant. Leo jerked to grab her again. White hot flares shot through his shoulder. Fuck, wrong arm. Darkness clawed at the edge of his vision, plusing in time with the pain searing through him.

“You’re so………. Don’t let anyone convince you…..” April's voice faded in and out, “ We have always…….. None of this………… alright Leon?”

Leon, that was the last word he caught before his world faded to black. The last thing he heard his sister say. 

When he woke up.

She was gone.

#One and a Half Futures #oaahf #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #future leo #rise #tmnt

[hawnks]

OH ACTUALLY i have strong feelings about "should we kill these people?" and what it meant for geto

when they first see each other, geto is like "i survived, shoko fixed me up. but that doesn't matter." and he looks at the dead riko

but THEN. THEN. gojo says something to the effect of "this isn't your fault/i was the one who messed up".

and it's like... uh. gojo. no. of course this is geto's fault? he also messed up? BOTH of them were supposed to protect riko. it's not like geto wasn't there, he just let his guard down (like gojo did when toji first stabbed him... literally minutes ago).

when gojo says this he's thinking about his power-up and how he's finally grasped reverse curse technique and he's basically high on power.

but to geto, he thought his best friend was MURDERED and riko got SHOT IN FRONT OF HIM and then he was left half-dead and spared, on purpose, when gojo and riko were both killed.

and now gojo is acting like it was all on him. like geto isn't even worth holding responsible for this, like it wouldn't make a difference if geto was stronger; gojo was the one who should have been stronger.

then gojo asks if they should just kill these people. geto must have realized just how vastly different the two of them had become. their friendship never recovered from that moment.

Gojo really fucked up when it came to Getou, and I think that’s part of the reason why it haunts him so much, why he’s never been able to move past it, or even leave the highschool.

I think you’re right about him treating Getou as like…. less important? Less relevant? For Getou this was THEE moment of his life, the culmination of SOMETHING he hasn’t quite figured out yet coming fresh off it. It throws him into severe depression, and Gojo just kind of — leaves him behind. Gojo is affected by the Riko situation, but overall it was a net positive for him. He got his unmatched power. He won. And he goes on acting like it.

But Getou lost everything that day.

Also Gojo being the strongest and yet still considering killing those people; what was Getou (as less than the strongest) supposed to do? If even God’s Disciple can’t withstand the pressure of the sorcerer world, how was he supposed to?

#I LOVE STAR PLASMA ARC SO MUCH #ITS SO FUCKING GOOD #GRRRRRAAAAggggHHHH #sorry. ahem. #mint talks

[sunfortune]

can I ask what bridgerton books you’ve read and if they’re worth it

i read “the viscount who loved me” yeeeeears ago. and it is still probably my fav regency romance novel. it’s not even perfect. i just loooved the characterizations. (they’ll NEVER make me hate you book kate) and i think the banter and slow burn in the first half of the book was SOOO good. and literally what so many romance novels LACK. bc insta-lust/love just doesn’t pack the same punch. i’m sorry

also i litchrally claimed kate as a women of color in my own delusions back when i was literally reading a standard White Ass Regency Romance Novel (BEFORE there was ever any show) bc i just loved kate that much. and was like WHOS gonna beat my ass⁉️ (this was after still star crossed lol) she was a woman of color. TO ME.

plus they described kate as “dark” and edwina as “fair” in the book a lot which i know just meant hair/eyes but i was like. slay! no take backs! LDMLSJSKSJ

(so despite everything about the way the show did kate i did absolutely WIN in that aspect)

next. the second book i read was “romancing mister bridgerton”. (again. this is before there was ever a show) bc i liked the little of penelope i saw in kanthonys book. but then. well. reading that book is when i realized “the viscount who loved me” might have been a fluke bc WHAT in the world. “romancing mister bridgerton” was just 350 pages of penelope getting dogged by the boringest MOST bitchless man on earth. the way she PINED for colin from literally page 1. PAGE ONE. but the book doesn’t spend a SINGLE second making him compelling in ANY way, shape or form was MIND boggling. AND THEN gave him the audacity to treat HER like shit⁉️

and the WHOLE TIME the book is like they’re friends to lovers btw!!! hehe <333. NO THEY WERENT! DONT piss me off rn. that man was NOT her friend. he was nice to her ONLY when he deemed her below him. and as soon as he found out she had success in something he didn’t, it was immediate disdain and disrespect for her. that’s not a friend?!

ALL WHILE! she falls all over herself bc of how bad she wants him. i wanted to get her the fuck out of her OWN romance when i was reading that book. i could not believe what it was selling as real true love. garbage

next. i was debating if i should check out another book after that mess. bc i didn’t know if the other were also bad. and eventually just decided to start from the beginning (moment of silence 😞) and pulled up “the duke and i” and then as im reading the synopsis i stumble on a review detailing the plot and that describes the actual sexual assault in that book that gets played off as romance.

aaand i have NOT touched another bridgerton book since

i Have heard eloise’s book and romance is awful by mutuals who have read them all. and benedict’s is not very great either. francesca’s book may be the only worthy follow up to tvwlm. those 2 are generally considered the better ones of the series.

i’m still recovering from the ones i have read though so wont be able to confirm any time soon

in conclusion:

the viscount who loved me (my best friend still idc. not perfect but very gorgeous to me)

romancing mister bridgerton (hot garbage. argue with your mother)

the duke and i (burning books is not always bad. it would be fine here)

#ask #bridgerton #books

[weskerssunglasses]

Hello! Not so long ago I came across your blog and to be honest, it helped me a lot!! Your Resident Evil headcannons are just something, really. And so I came to you again for a little help....do you know that feeling when you're sick, your legs can't hold you, your head is cracking like an eggshell and you have chills like you're at the North Pole and hell at the same time, but you literally NEED to work, be active and other adult stuff? So this is literally my trouble. Could you please write something about Wesker while working in an Umbrella and f!reader who is very ill but still works day and night? I know your Wesker is not so romantically cloying, but I still wonder what you think about this :) Thank you in advance!

Rating: E for Everyone, SFW

TWs/CWs: N/A

Summary: On occasion, Wesker will care for you... in his own way.

He wouldn't stop you from doing absolutely necessary tasks, but if you were seriously ill, he'd stop you from going to work... without admitting it was him

"Wesker, my car won't start!", "What the hell? Who slashed my fucking tires?", "I cant find my keys!", "My laptop wont turn on? I cant even work from home like this!" Cut to Wesker going "Oh no... I wonder how that happened. I guess you must have to rest for the day then."

Also, I do think that he would be a little more watchful when you're ill, because a small part of him worries you caught one of the several biohazards he handles daily. He knows his body would brush it off, but he's not so sure about yours

Honestly, the first time you stay at his place instead of him coming to yours is probably when you're very sick around him for the first time. He would rather die than admit it, but he can't sleep unless he can monitor you to make sure he didn't bring anything home to you

Of course, though, when he pitches you staying at his place until you recover, he does it in the most condescending way possible. "Well, my home is cleaner, has healthier food," etc, etc

He still expects you to pick up after yourself when you're at his place, though, and isn't exactly eager to cook/run errands for you. He'll do it if you're sick enough/you ask enough, but it's begrudgingly (I actually hc he's a fantastic cook. You're in for a treat!)

Overall, he's still kind of... ah, himself... but it's probably when he shows the closest thing to genuine concern for your wellbeing

#resident evil x reader #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil #resident evil ask blog #anon ask #albert wesker x reader #albert wesker

[ladysroom-zaza]

G!p Wendy wanting to switch roles and have you fuck her from behind with the strap she bought you, hoping you’d grant her wish.

You're definitely lucky to have Wendy as gf, because she's always been a great lover. With her huge cock she never failed to make you cum plenty of time, giving some of the best fucks in your life, but lately she seemed about puzzled by something, but she was kinda timid about that.

Finally she confessed her wish of switching role and being the one fucked for once and to you it seemed only fair to grant her desire. So you secretly bought one on internet and when the package arrived, you organized a surprise for her.

One day, coming home from recording, she saw you naked on the couch, already wearing this big and lucid strap, observing her with a smirk. She slowly walked till the couch, mesmerized by the new item. In a first moment she didn't even realized that you pulled off her pants and started to stroke lazily her cock.

Her shaft become rigid in a second, so you decided to tease her a bit more before making her dreams come true. So you made her dick disappear in your mouth, bobbing on her member until you felt it pulsating. In that moment you got up and pushed her on the couch instead.

You opened her legs and she didn't make any resistance. Now with hopeful eyes, she looked at you while you slide the strap inside her ass. That new amazing feeling was good enough to complete the work you've started with the blowjob, making her cum, covering all her clothes with her own seed.

"We have just started and you already done?", you teased your gf, who was still absorbing her climax. She was barely recovering from that orgasm when you started moving your hips, thrusting inside her hole with the hard strap. Her moans filled the living room and her dick became rock hard again, maybe even than before.

"Yes, baby, fuck me like a slut", she shouted while you were breaking her ass with your thrusts. In the process you lifted her shirt, massaging her abs while with the free hand, you reprised to stroke her cock. Her mind was completely numb, the only thought passing through her brain was the cold item stretching her hole and your fingers moving up and down on her member.

"Baby, I-I-I-", she tried to talk but you were literally fucking her brain at that point; you still understood what she was about to say, because her body was start to tremble and spasm. So, you went even deeper with the strap and stroked her cock with all your might, making the short girl erupt an insane amount of cum.

#kpop thoughts #girl group x reader #kpop smut #kpop x fem reader #girl group smut #kpop girls #g!p idol #red velvet smut #red velvet x female reader #red velvet wendy #wendy smut #wendy x fem reader

[lil-melody-moon]

OKAY IT’S HAPPENING, EVERYBODY STAY CALM!! I’ve finally finished my opinion on “The who by numbers” This took me so long but it’s finally here so I hope you enjoy:

Before I start, I feel the need to say (once again) that I really love the design of the cover and the fact that John Entwistle actually drew the cover himself makes it even better. I love a talented King ❤️

Okay, now the opinion you’ve been waiting for:

1. Slip Kid: The cowbell at the beginning of the song?? I LOVED IT. Great intro. I think it captures the vibes of the album really well. Btw Is that Roger on backing vocals?? I love the song. I have no idea what it is about but I love it 🤣

2. However much I booze: Ummm excuse me??? This song is a fucking vibe. Now I understand why this song is your favourite😍 I don’t know what they put in this song but fuuuuck it’s so damn groovy and the melody it’s soooo catchy. Keith’s drumming and John’s bass in this one are superb

3. AAAAA SQUEEZE BOX MY BELOVED, MY BABY. I literally forced all of my friends to listen to this one. They looked at me weird when I played the song for them in the car but idc. Anyway, This one is my favourite and you already know the context behind why I love this one 😏🤣

4. Dreaming from the waist: All I can say about this song is that I absolutely love the dedication John Entwistle and Keith Moon put in this song. All I can hear is bass and drums 👀❤️

5. Imagine A Man: Okay confession. The first time I listened to this song I did not like very much but now that I’ve listened to it a few more times I think It’s starting to grow on me. Also, the line “Imagine a past where you wish you had lived” literally wrecked me, I felt it in my soul 💔

6. Sucess Story: I have the feeling that I’ve heard this song before…. It sounds like a mix between “All the way from Memphis” by Mott the Hoople and “It’s only Rock N Roll (But I like it) by the Rolling Stones. I might be wrong tho but all these songs have the same vibes 🤣

7. They Are All in love: This is probably my least favourite (don’t kill me) the song is good and I like how Keith and John sound together but idk. Maybe I need to listen to it more

8. Blue Red and Grey: IS THIS PETE ON VOCALS TOO?? Holy sweet mother of jesus his voice feels like a warm hug. Is that an ukelele?? YEP IT IS. I’ve read that Pete wanted to commit suicide and that’s why he wrote this song. If that’s true I feel so sorry for Pete :(

9. How many friends: HELLO?? THE DRUMS? THE GUITAR??? Holy fuck I like everything about this song. “How many friends have I really got? Well you can count ‘em on the one hand” THAT’S LITERALLY ME. I only have a few friends but feel so lucky to have them.

10. In a hand or a face: This song reminds me of Baba O’Riley for some reason🤣 Are we absolutely sure that this isn’t a leftover song from “Who’s Next?”

Oh, by the way, I still can’t tell the difference between Pete and Roger’s voices but I feel like Pete sings in almost every song of the album so I don’t really know what to say about Roger’s input in the album except for the backing vocals (he sings beautifully)

Overalls, this album is really fun to listen to, it’s very complete and catchy. From what I’ve read, this album took ages to be completed cause Pete had a writer’s block and depression but I’m so glad he recovered and finished the album. So far, this is probably my favourite The Who album. I still need to listen to Quadrophenia in its entirety tho.

Okay so first of all, to clear your doubts, Pete's voice is the warm one, "However Much I Booze" and "Blue Red and Grey" are sung by him, the rest is Roger. Roger has a distinct voice, if you know "Squeeze Box" by heart, you know Roger's voice <3

Normally Roger sings, occasionally Pete does, Pete and John are always the backing vocals, Keith only shines from time to time, not a single song of his on this one, BUT I'm so glad to hear that the rhythm section is catching your attention this much - you would have to see me grin when you said you can't hear nothing but bass and drums XD

About the stories you mentioned there, I didn't read much, so I believe in what you're saying. I somehow can't bring myself to really dig in the history of the band, I'm probably afraid of a thing or two, but like, I'm so glad Pete recovered from depression as well - he's a lovely guy really, deserving the best <3

I'm very happy that you love the album this much and I certainly can't fucking wait for you to dive into "Quadrophenia". You'll hear my screaming when you send me your opinion, plus... I'm still waiting for your opinion about "Tommy" and the revenge. Take care, my dear and have fun on the path to become a The Who fan <3

#ack I'm so glad she loves it! #ask corner

[sungbeam]

the realization that my next big physics exam is only the week after this upcoming one scares me to fkn death

#sungbeam strikes again #i literally have not recovered from the first one #holy shit i just need to do well on this oh god #yall ever start ignoring everything when ur overwhelmed? like u dont do anything productive and u shove it all to the side #cuz ur a coward and dont wanna deal w it? #im literally panicking but oh gooooooood i dont wanna do this i really dont wanna #time to . Pray

[hecksupremechips]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

#the klock keeps ticking #yttd #i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks #but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD #i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin #i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr #first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with #all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying #and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so #good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all #like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad #he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP #and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just #being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how #well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler #and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end #and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts #cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish #but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like #the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries #and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer #and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive #and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori #and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent #and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse #he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA #im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad #and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN #have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes

[faineant-girl]

i wish all addicts, in recovery or not, a life free of sorrow forever

#.vent #kinda. im not gonna delete this one though #i just. i sure am thinking about this a lot. #i listen to like. trip report videos or whatever and like. the comments section on every single one. just nasty #theres no sympathy for an addict to be seen. unless they're also an addict or are recovering #my dad is a recovered addict. hes been clean for 6 years. i love my dad and hes a wonderful person. #i obviously still have trauma from when he was actively in his mess. to deny that addicts have caused others trauma is to be reductive. #addicts can cause trauma because theyre people. and people can cause trauma all the same #but the lack of understand or care or basic respect to anyone dealing with addiction is just. appalling. #im sick and tired of hearing the same old fucking phrase that its the addicts fault cuz they decided to take the first hit. like #man how fucking cruel can you be. how heartless ya know. #like its obvious hardly anyone commenting abiut this knows anything about what being an addict is like. like. #i know i dont. ive been sober my whole life right. i do not have the same experience. #but. i have a compulsive disorder that makes me perform a task that is 1 harmful 2 almost entirely out of my control #and i cannot describe to you how difficult it is to ignore that urge. for your mind to know what youre doing is harmful. but #your body physically is not listening to you. #like. its a different thing when its addiction. but being compelled to do something you know is hurting you isnt unfamiliar to me #plus with addiction the added factor that your body becomes physically dependent on a drug and it hurts you for a long ass time to try and #stop and withdrawl can sometimes literally be lethal. its so fucking sad to see people hold not even. like an ounce of sympathy ya know #if an addict has abused you im not saying you need to forgive them. you dont. but not every addict is youre abuser #and while you do not need to be involved. every addict deserves a good life. everyone deserves a chance. #just. god. makes me mad. makes me upset. #if you are an addict especially if youre not in recovery. i hope your days go well. i hope the world gets kinder to you.

[vvelegrin]

feeling like a Whole Person tonight despite feeling so tired that i could pass away. that's always nice! i don't care for the alternative (feeling so tired that i could pass away coupled with wanting to pass away).

#maybe because i've been doing stuff with my hands #had a first GIS class tonight... ditched it because i realized it would be nearly 6 hours long. twice a week. #i literally and physically cannot do that lmao dropping and getting that money back #will have to look at some university extension programs again instead #local community college only has like one gis class that they can barely get anybody to do so it's cancelled more often than not #but been doing some carving and been taking care of my plants #set up some ginger and garlic and yarrow cuttings to sprout #need to get some larger pots my poor little juniper needs a bigger home #and then some aloe and cactus cuttings are ready to get their own spots too :) #and some research on how to make some diy orchid fertilizer #was going to do some coding practice tonight but siiiigh my brain simply cannot hack it #i think i'm still recovering from doing things on saturday #just gonna have to live with that #watching some resident evil playthroughs and piddling about the house #it's nice #oooh and found some good sdr videos today so i'm excited to pick up radio stuff again when i'm less completely wasted #also a couple of very fitting job listings to apply for that pay way more than what i'm getting now #heartening! #prattling about the self

[slippery-minghus]

oh no. i feel like if i do not consume an entire load of bread in the very near future i will simply cease to exist.

#very uh. very worried about my finances right now #like. i'm fine. i have some savings. but i also just got to put something into my savings for the first time in a VERY long time and now #now i immediately have to take it out #and i'm getting stressed out about buying groceries #because if i dip into my savings here what about there? where is the line? #and i owe so much to taxes but i can't exactly afford getting less of my pay...... #my last paycheck was $0.66 more than my rent #my insurance is refusing to reimburse the last of my electrolysis visits from last year and like #i'm SO over the fight but that's $120. that i really actually kinda need? #and i'm starting to get that funny in the head feeling about wondering how i'm going to feed myself #i still feel so much shame about that funeral i went to years ago and my only thought during the reception after was about #how there was just so much food and i could actually eat my fill #i have leftovers for dinner tonight and it's fine but.... making a lovely vegan dish wasn't the best choice tbh #i feel like if i don't have a large helping of bread and meat i'm going to go insane #and it really REALLY doesn't help that i've apparently lost the ability to eat in the mornings #so i'm at quite a significant fuel deficit and it's stacking #but no matter how hungry i am in the morning the concept of processing solid food is just repulsive and daunting #eating a clif bar at 9am would take literally all of my spoons for the day #i was looking at protein shakes since i can handles *drinking* breakfast #but the cheapest one that meets my dietary requirements is $35 for a 12pack #and i'm uh. i'm worrying over spending $10 on produce this week #personal #and nevermind that i don't have the spoons to even GO shopping (: #(on an aside i switched back to my regular melatonin gummies last night and i Actually Slept. so hopefully that will continue and help some) #i just want to curl up in a ball on the floor and have someone gently place a roll of bread and hunk of cheese next to me in my enclosure #also it's photophobia season and i still feel like i haven't recovered from saturday #got too much sunlight and was nauseaus for half the day #my body feels so bad

[i-bring-crack]

Jinhae Exes AU not in the "ones of us cheated" or "it was all a big misunderstanding that separated us" kind of way.

But in the "one of us realized the world is significantly different than what we were thought to believe and now we are fighting in different sides of the war and I still love you but I think I'm right in this ideology game and just want the other to understand and come back please—"

#i just remembered i also had that idea before in a oneshot wip #never truly finished even though it was going to be hella fun #i also kinda made the fic be platonic in ao3 rather than romantic #i mean i like my jinhae #but #platonic AND soulmates AND m/f friendships are just 'MA HEART' #anyways the whole love wouldnt have been different. #like they still love each other minus the kissing and secc #Anyways the plot was about Haein recovering her memories of the past timeline and looking for jinwoo in order to help him defeat the #denizens of chaos aka beasts and their monarchs or just the monarch and their armies #Jinwoo wasnt looking for any help but was kinda lonely that he just kindof accepted the company from Haein and gave her a system on her own #so that she too could become just as strong as her. At this point they also like 'know'they both like each other bc they both did go on a #date but they never truly met one another so they do have a crush but they decide to take it slow and just become friends first. I mean they #have literally have 27 years in this world to spend so might as well try to know each other first. #Haein isnt quick to open up about her problems tho and neither is Jinwoo quick to say ALL that he suffered for the past 4 years as a hunter #including the system's mess #so they often explore more about the world and talk about the monsters than their problems first #That is until Haein is like 19. both have passed like 6 years toguether only trying to find where the monarchs are hi #hidding as well as destroying possible civilizations that could be useful inside the shadow army. #most of the beasts are agreesive towards them too so they kill them without any regards. #and then they finally get to find the first intelligent beings in this world. The demon race. Haein already from the name alone knows they #(also yes the demon race is still alive in this AU) #but jinwoo stops her and she is just huh? we arent killing these demons? #'nope we are killing all of them except this clan' #and Haein obeys but. like. is so confused. #hen when the radir family throws them a banquet. pretty things and events happen and Haein gets the chance to talk to Esil who in turn is #very chatty so she gets to hear a lot about the story of demons and their lives outside of it. #solo leveling #jinhae

[moe-broey]

I'm in so much pain.

#feh #i was highkey hoping holding out for a bruno moment but. no. 💔 #i'm..???? gonna try and get to spark???? 10 days left..... idk if i can even do that f2p. #and i'm not about to do math to figure it out LMFAOOOOO #it's not even sunk cost kicking in i am just frothing at the mouth for special skills on xane. #and yeah i guess maria will be added to the regular pool after this...?? but. who fucking knows if i ever will get her. #like. some characters are just Like That. case and point base takumi. #he's literally in the special 4-5 star pool AND in the arena ticket pool and literally the ONLY copy i have ever gotten of him #is the free one. at the start of the game. and one manuel. for one merge. that's it. #would love to build him! too bad he suffers from old unit syndrome and is impossible for me to get. #and you KNOW i am almost always pulling colorless like more than any other type. you'd think i'd at least have a few from that. #you would think. #anyway at this point i'm just hoping first swimsuit banner is a skip for me 😰😰😰 so maybe i can recover for the second one 😔 #my pulls

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Have you seen the new Pouf mobage card?? I also went on the website to get the chibi version <33 he’s a little pixelated but look how cute he is!

I AM LOOKING DIRECTLY AT HIM 👀

Jokes aside and in spite of the pixels, the chibi one halls me near TEARS he is so cute,, also a white day card and now this??? Pouf stans are finally receiving meals after begging for crumbs and I am so glad I got to see the day; big yellow bow is a nice contrasting centerpiece, he is so joyous, blesséd day to love this man THANK YOU for putting him directly into my inbox 🦋💕

#also questioning who drew this one bc. where are his teeth kshdkf #anyways i get the gift of new content being beamed directly into my inbox and i could not ask for a greater joy or amount of recognition #you literally didnt have to go to the site to grab the chibi one for me but i am so grateful you did;; ; #tying that yellow bow on him and calling him a handsome young man as i do so #i literally just got out of work and this was the first thing i saw i am now 10/10 recovered from the workday ✨️ #thank you!!! <333 #asks #friend talk tag

[zestylimone]

This panel broke into my house and threatened me with violence

#I’m on a reread rn but I was literally shitting myself the first time #I have never emotionally recovered from wci #sanji #wci #Jess reads one piece

[lonesomedotmp3]

do u guys think john will finally fucking die.

#i have such a wild relationship with that book series like no i wouldn't recommend it to anyone yeah im kind of obsessed with it #yes the third book was so bad i have done everything in my power to purge it from my memory yes im going to read the fourth one #the second one is one of my fav books ever. couldn't tell u why though #and the first book also sucks except that i read an article that said david is the axe and never recovered. #like guys. david is literally the axe. #i have no time at all to read though :(((( like I'm not even gonna get to read greywaren when it comes out #because im so swamped and i haven't been able to read haunting of hill house like i wanted to either #god i can't believe i have so many books to read for my lit course. how dare they. #.txt