#i like what i study. dont get me wrong. and i dont think this in general. this is a me only issue and iknow that

[heartlyrins]

I haven't seen any no req rules on your blog so i apologise if im overstepping a boundary, it's not a req tho but it looks like it (? idk either just a heads up?? using tumblr after a while bear with me)

ive been thinking of incest sunday x reader where you essentially take robins place aka youre robin and the cannon robin doesn't exist. not really in the haha he noncons u 24/7 way but more of an emotional incest way before it gets sexual/romantic and involves a lot of grooming

he's nice, caring, he's here if u need anything and always cares for his dear little sister (or sibling, but ill keep it fem reader cuz youre in robins place), just ignore the weird touches and how incredibly touchy he gets with you when youre both alone and hidden!

dont think youre of the hook though, he still has very high expectations for a young sweet girl like you! singing lessons, private tutoring and all of the sorts! you practically have no social life, and oh what's that? you want to go out? nope,sorry sweetheart, another time - sunday replies as he gives you yet another touch on the thing as he explains every single mistake and pinpoints your every insecurity

it starts off nice and slow, he begins the weird touches and stares when you were very young. when the nanny was changing your clothes perhaps or you two were showering, before it escalated to something more. i dont see him as "id drug to keep you close", hes already got that weird xipe hallucination power thing that he used on aventurine

hed probably guilt trip you into letting him take your virginity because the world is tainted and theyll hurt you if youre not careful. maybe even take ur first kiss too while hes balls deep and telling you that hell keep the bloodline pure with his sweet perfect little sister

i also like to think sunday is a bit fucked in the head due to past trauma like if he was groomed himself or even molested and he simply mimicked what was done to him rather than doing it cause haha im evil, i dont see much rep of him being fucked up cuz something happened to him in the past.

id like to see ur take on that tbh idm if its a fic/ficlet or something but id gladly see sundays character study on the fucked up obsessive sister fucker version

Maybe I will make a fic of this.. But my aventurine fic is not even completed yet 😭

tw:INCEST, noncon/dubcon, grooming (non-sexual), coercion, guilt tripping, manipulation, brainwashing, slight misogyny, Sunday is the warning itself, DLDR and block if ur uncomfortable

Robin!Reader would be good.. But imagine he's more obsessive and strict than he would ever be with cannon Robin.

YES. He would groom you not in a sexual way, but in a way that he wants you to be according to him. No, grooming isn't only based in romantic or sexual and it HAS been shown in media. (The nearest example is Tomura and OFA)

I feel like he wouldn't need any trauma to actually do this to someone—it's just how he is and he doesn't really see the wrong in it even as an adult.

He has been doing this as a child, it's in his mind to manipulate someone in order to get what he wants. Unlike a normal child who cries and rolls on the ground to get a piece of candy—it wouldn't be that for him.

If he wants it—then he would get it, in this case the thing he wants is you.

Ever since you were both a child, he would be stuck to you at every moment. You want to bath? Sure, but he's going. You're very fragile as a halovian child—and especially a girl at that. You need your big brother to protect you wherever you go.

Despite the fact that he's everywhere with you, there would be times where sometimes he just can't be at that moment. But somehow, he makes it feel like you're in a constant watch even when he's not there.

When you expressed your dreams to be an idol, you thought that he would oppose to it but it's actually quite the opposite! He helps you get voice and vocal lessons with a private teacher and it's every single day that you have to suffer practicing.

What do you mean you want a break? This is your dream yes? He's just helping you achieve your dreams, isn't your big brother so caring?

It's when you start filling curves around your body that he realizes his romantic feelings for you—at first as a child he thought that it had to be with the fact that he has to protect you.

But now that you're both grown, he now knows it's something more than platonic. The first time he touched you a bit further down that he usually would was when you were both just reaching the peak of famous.

He became the head of the family—you've became what you wanted and what he wanted, an idol. That's when it hits him, becoming famous means that he had to share you with other people.

And then before he knows it.. You will disappear from his grip. So he restricts you from going out, you're supposed to stay by his side anyway, you know that right?

And you're supposed to give your virginity to him. It's important. He's helped you achieve your dream, so you need to help him back. No it's not wrong, it's actually quite normal.

You don't know what to do? That's okay, he'll guide you. Look, he's already balls deep inside you—no don't turn your away and face him.

Now that he's tainted you, you can go out now. But remember that he's always watching you.

#tw.dark content #tw.noncon #tw.incest #tw.dubcon #yandere hsr #hsr smut #sunday noncon #hsr sunday #sunday x reader #sunday smut #sunday #sunday hsr #hsr noncon #hsr angst #yandere honkai star rail #honkai star rail smut #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail

[iheartcurlyfries]

RAY YOU SHOULD DO ONE W ELLIE, WHERE YOU AND ELLIE ARE STEP SISTERS AND YOU LIKE HER A LOT, BUT YOU DONT WANT HER TO KNOW THAT, BUT ONE NIGHT SHE GETS HOME DRUNK AND YOU HELP HER GO TO BED, BUT SHE STARTS KISSING YOU AND IN THE MORNING YOU ARE LAYING IN HER BED NAKED, BUT SHE SAYS THAT THIS THING CAN NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN, BUT SHE CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND YOU TWO SECRETLY START DATING, i hope this is too dirty😊😊

step sister!ellie x fem!reader

Im gonna change some things about this to make it more of a drabble :)

cw: wlw, fluff with plot, mentions of alcohol, light vulgar language, secret rs, step sister trope (non biological).

I planned on making this longer than it is but I decided it being shorter just made it better.

♡

'fuck..' ellie groaned, her tone quivering ss she stumbled through the door. her feet dragging on the floor boards lightly. you leaned up on the couch, rubbing your eyes as your nostrils flared. 'els?' your eyes turned their gaze onto her, your pupils slightly growing. 'oh my god..' a sigh escaped your lips as you got up, lifting yourself up off of the couch. a whiny mewl slipped out of ellie's lips as she guided her coat off, stretching her arms out. 'are you okay?' your eyebrows scrunched, looking up at ellie as you helped her take sit down on the couch.

'mmhm..' she murmured, leaning back on the couch as her arms guided up to behind her head. she exhaled a deep breath, pulling a hand out to her nose, scrunching her eyes as she rubbed her face. you studied her, your gaze softening, 'were you at the bar again, ellie?' your tone was gentle as you put a hand on her spine, guiding your hand up and down in a comforting manner. 'yuurrrp..' her words slurred drastically, yet her voice was smooth.

another sigh choked out of your throat, you pulled your hand back and sat up. 'okay we gotta get you to bed..' you gripped her hand, attempting to pull her up before failing miserably. you whined, looking at her with an annoyed scowl. 'ellie, c'monnn..' you groaned, trying to pull her up again.

'mmggh fine..' she grabbed your hands, pulling herself up with your help. you gently held on to her, guiding her into her bedroom. 'you reek..' you giggled 'what did you drink?' you helped her onto her bed, looking at her with a curious smile. 'just some rum..' she hummed, her voice cracking while she laid back onto her bed, stretching out her limbs as she got comfortable.

a gentle giggle escaping your throat, 'just some, huh?' you teased, getting a chuckle out of her. 'too much..' she said, making it almost sound like a complaint, you laughed, pulling a blanket over her in a silly playful manner.

'mph, c'mere.' she whispered, her gaze resting on you as she patted the spot next to her on the bed. 'ooh sleepover time?' a silly smile growing on your pretty lips, you climbed onto the bed, leaning your back onto the wall. she leaned over, resting her head on your shoulder. 'don't leave me..' she said, her voice low as she shut her eyes, you smiled. 'I guess it's a sleepover then...'

she chuckled, her nose nuzzling into your collarbone, "mmhm..' she hummed, whipping her head back slightly, just enough to rest her gaze on you.

her eyes turned their focus to your lips, her gaze switching back between the both of your gorgeous features. 'you're staring, els..' you mumbled, looking over at her with a gentle smile. she nodded, 'I know..' her words slurred again, but this time they were clearer. she leaned in, her teeth biting down on the skin of her lips, the tension was deep, strong enough to be cut by a knife.

her tongue darted out of her mouth, lightly coating her lips with her saliva before she put her hand on yours. her other hand guiding up your neck before resting above your collarbone, she pulled you in slightly, pushing her lips against yours.

the way her lips gliding against yours was intoxicating, it felt so wrong yet so right.

she pulled pack, looking at your face, almost like she was studying you. her eyebrows scrunched, the way she looked at you made you get the butterflies. she smiled at you lightly before nuzzling her face into your neck.

(sorry that this is 1. short and 2. not very much like the request but I don't really like writing step sister tropes so that's why I made it only a kiss. but I do love the request and just letting anyone know I'd love to take requests rn cuz of writers block and lack of creativity, and I'll try my hardest to post fics daily. thank you for over 500 likes after only just starting this account, I love all of you<3)

#wlw #ellie x fem reader #ellie the last of us #the last of us #fluff

[youhavethewrong]

do you guys remember when Attack On Titan had a fucking Looney Tunes Babies style spin off where all the characters were in junior high and the titans were just bullies and eren was mad at them because they ate his hamburg steak and it was legitimately better than the original

#yui rambles #dont ask me why i randomly remembered #i often think about attack on titan #about how its first season was one of the most promising new shows at the time #it felt so refreshing and full of life and energy and ideas and something to say #and then you reach a certain point in the story and youre like #...huh this is weird #and you keep reading/watching and start wondering what's wrong #and then at a certain point it just hits you #and youre like woah! wait! #i get it! #the author is not a good writer! #this pacing sucks! the reveals suck! #i get it now! the beginning of the story was a fluke! #attack on titan's legacy was carried on an extremely promising intro section and a very competently made anime adaptation #but not even the sick art style and incredible action scenes could save a story so shoddily told imo #and then you reach the end and its like wow. so the thing you had to say was awful. #sorry i dont mean to swing at a hornets nest #i just think about it because when a story nosedives that hard its like. a case study for me #whatevs this is all my opinion no disrespect if you like it #but even if you like it i think you HAVE to be aware that the point being made with the story is a pretty fucking terrible one #anyway this post got fucking derailed in the tags lmao my point is attack on titan junior high was legit funny and had a better ending lmao

[nerves-nebula]

hi guys im having a normal one again (looking at the part of the 2015 transgender survey about trans sexual assault rates) shoutout to all my transmascs & nonbinary fuckers we are SOOO FUCKED

#sa tw #transphobia tw #trans #rape tw #nnstuff #rambling #ppplleeeasseeeeeeee #they really do just think we're weird girls who need to be correctively raped huh #side note ive skimmed a few of these studies #and trans womens SA rates go up a lot when they do sex work. which is obvious to me but idk if y'all are aware of that #though i imagine anyone's SA rate would go up when they do sex work what with how sex workers are treated #other side note: why dont we talk about the rates of SA among trans men and nonbinary people holy shit they are insane #which like i already knew dont get me wrong- ive seen this report before. but i feel like its not focused on a lot #maybe im just not following the right ppl tho idk #suicide tw

[seariii]

hmm...

#vent post #seari talks #i feel a little scared... just thinking about the stuff i need to do... and i got a message that i cant answer on my own and the person who #i need the answer from wasnt... helpful... i dont know what to say now... i should say i'll look into it or something... but... #sigh... the whole situation is difficult since i have to... *big sigh* fuck... #if this goes wrong... will they blame me? what will happen to me?... i did ask back in the day... i have the messages... so technically im #safe but... sigh... how stressful... #and i have to check all of this other stuff too... #... i dont like this... i so dont like this... but its okay its gonna be okay... its just the beginning that its scary but once we actually #start running everything will get easier and easier and more comfortable and.... sigh... #for now... lets do what we- fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck who sent me a message fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck #i dont wanna open the message #*checks* okay everything will be okay... everything will be okay.... yes... *sigh* #IM OKAY EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY!!!! #i just have to focus on the matters at hand. i reported this so its gonna get reviewed now. and what i need to do is this other thing... #and study i have to do that too... and read that too... okay thats not difficult ive got this

[bunnihearted]

☁️🌷

#ugh im so anxious and like i think i have more pains bc of it #i overslept bc ever since i got a new phone my alarm is so quiet i never wake up?? this is the third time this happens for this class #but i cant miss more bc if i have more than three weeks absence they'll fail me :< so i hurried and walked to school #i wish i had a bus pass T-T since they introduced civilian clothed controllants i havent dared taking the bus at all i dont wanna get a fine #so yes anyway. on top of that im pretty sure my sister stole my keys. bc they were in my jacket pocket yesterday and today they werent there #and she left somewhere earlier this morning. so now im anxious abt not knowing where they are + will i get inside?? my mom wakes up late af #ummm what else???? idk im just so stressed. i got to class and have been here for 40min now and the teacher left for lunch #i'll leave now bc i cant focus enough to sit here more. my tooth aches too :(( #i just wanna cry tbh #the entire way here i was like i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die #i feel so awful.. and stupd and worthless. why am i incapable of getting a job? or even studying at university? im so bad at everything #im like an anxious wreck who can barely function. everything hurts both physically and emotionally #i dont even wanna walk home im just sitting in my empty classroom bc i dont wanna kove #move* #what's wrong with me? how did i turn into this? i miss school. like i miss being able to actually do my work and talk to the teachers etc #im only a shell of what i used to be. and im scared i'll never be anything other than this :(((( #well i gotta move ig bc the sooner i do the sooner i can get home and lie in my bed & cry over how useless i am :3

[stonebutchooze]

okay im gonna say it.... many... not some but MANY... of the christian blogger girlies on here... want to fuck jesus

#man you dont know the things ive seen #as someone whos not NOT religious #i get the jesus tags reccommended to me #these girls are talking about jesus as if he's their fuckable blorbo #like hes gonna be helping them study for their test and he's their best pal #and dont get me wrong #i dont believe in jesus #im not offended #i dont think this is blasphemy #but girliessssss #i dont think you realise how transparent you're being #uh what to tag #mine #stonebutchooze speaks

[sammyloomis]

i feel like taras had her entire life planned out since middle school

like, shes very determined and well-organised, she has plans A through Z filed away inside her head just in case plan A falls thru and so on and so forth, she Knows she wants to work in film, she doesn't care doing what, she keeps an open mind for ALL ventures, and has been dead set on blackmore university since she started researching schools age 14, shes like "im getting OUT. of this goddamn place if it KILLS ME!!!!!!" because she was determined to not sit and rot in her hometown like her mom did

and then sams like "im gonna be real, i didnt think id still be alive past 20 so i never planned this far" and is working dead end jobs just to keep them afloat and tara is CONSTANTLY trying to encourage her to go back to school but she doesnt even know what she Wants to do. i feel like she'd wanna do something with her hands because its good for keeping her mind occupied and it makes her feel more fulfilled

#ash.txt #scream #tara carpenter #sam carpenter #thinking about them again #i found out sam is the same age as me and im projecting a little bit fghj #i read in the og 6 script tara was studying to be a lawyer and i was like ??????? thats so random #like i think she could do it dont get me wrong but it felt so. out of nowhere for her fghj #then again so did dating chad so what the hell do i know :V

[kohakhearts]

when people first meet me and inquire about my studies im generally hit with two different responses, being 1) “wow, that’s an unusual combination”/“you don’t see that often”/etc. and 2) “you must be SO smart!” (or its evil twin, “you must hate yourself ha-ha”), and while the first is obviously a better response than the second, both are kinda…awkward to react to.

like? IS it an unusual combination of interests, or is it actually that most institutions make it exceptionally difficult for people to pursue stem and arts concurrently? and that we don’t often talk about the heavy crossover between stem and the arts because we’re so culturally obsessed with this notion that the world is split into Art People and Science People (also known as English People and Math People)?

and how would my interest in a science make me any smarter than someone in my program who chose to pursue a minor in history instead of physics? also, NO, i don’t hate myself. obviously taking stem classes after spending years believing im “not a math person” has lowered my gpa, but that’s not really something i care about, because at the end of the day i find the subject endlessly fascinating and i enjoy my classes very much, and i get better at math every semester because i have no choice. because it’s just…a method of communication. it’s a language. you practice, you improve - but you have to be consistent and intentional about it. the same way you have to be consistent and intentional about analyzing fictional texts and historical documents.

which is to say that like. you are using the same skills. i tutored a high school student last year who looked at me like i was crazy for saying that close reading a short story is functionally the same as solving an algebra problem. you collect like terms. then you compare and contrast them to make a statement about them - it’s human nature to seek refuge in what is familiar even if it is simultaneously traumatic, or x = 2 and y = -2. you can chart it, you can graph it, you can draw it. listen, isn’t there something so inherently beautiful about the word integral? it’s something intrinsic, baked into a person or a thing - the fundamental values formed within you by tiny, infinitesimal pieces: moments, experiences - they coalesce into something completely different, but still. you can go back. you can find the pieces. define them, pick them apart, put them together again in new ways. expand them, contract them, equate them to something else just to understand them.

half the study of mathematics is called analysis, for god’s sake. what is the study of art if not analysis? is it not the goal of the artist, the writer, to make sense of our place in the world? and is this not what we do in physics, too? look at the world and try to find reason in it? as the poet spends their life trying to make the intangible tangible, the particle physicist attempts to study dark matter. when we form a sentence, we utilize a complex system of equations that are so second-nature to us we don’t even register that’s what we’re doing - but there’s a reason this branch of linguistics is called syntactic calculus.

like…believe me. if you told my teenage self i’d be taking calculus-based courses in university, i wouldn’t have believed it. i teach high school students now who tell me they know they aren’t good at english, but it doesn’t matter to them because they do so well in math. and i get it. i do. but it’s disappointing, too, because i think my knowledge of math has made me a better reader and writer. and it feels like most people are missing out on that connection, because they feel like it’s impossible to make. but any experimentalist can tell you there’s an art to the scientific process. any musician or poet can tell you that great art is dictated by numbers - rhythm, rhyme and metre, all of it. the only group of people as interested in conceptual symmetry as physicists are artists.

anyway, all i’m saying is like - one is not more essential than the other, these things are inextricably linked, these things are as fundamental to human existence as breathing. there’s a reason why astronomers defer to shakespeare to name newly discovered bodies in space, you know? we've all gotta learn to love the math in our art and the artistry behind math.

#taylor.txt #anyway i have some profs this semester who really made me feel idk. vindicated in a way #like i get this so often you know? i get Looks i get 'you're crazy' and 'what's wrong with you' (in jest granted but still) ALL the time #so having a professor straight-up say that science is an art? validating!!!! #i think english and physics are extremely compatible subjects because they have a similar goal in a way you know? #and im not a good artist but nothing helped me understand HOW i can be better at drawing than calculus #i never knew how to draw a sphere until i had to put one on a graph of a 3d function yknow? and looking at the numbers that govern it #just made me Understand how it's Supposed To Be. and i think thats kinda cool? #also like. again. LINGUISTICS #and dont think this is like. in any way against the ideas of abstraction and subversion and whatnot in art #chaos right? antimatter? the entire study of quantum mechanics? there are so many parallels to draw #obviously nothing is a 1:1 but i just. art is science science is art and its so fuckin COOL

[flovverworks]

after a billion yrs i added a lil line about my gbf verse.....<3 one day i might flesh it out to something in-universe, but since gbf is so "oh ure from another world? ya that happens..." i....am gonna keep w that..........(also cuz i do think discussing the different ways of magic, moon-enemy & this n that is more fun like this

#stardust speaking ! #i do wanna write but im unsure when ill do so #anyway i need to talk abut that one 1.5 moment with that weird car horn sfx after murrs fancy speech cuz i #was thinking about it again due to one of the descriptions in the alterego event #i still didnt check the website btw is it available info why snows adult and whites a kid or is that a waiting game cuz #that..... #sometimes when i think abuot paradoxroid i think about them. that one was fkd up #snow&white r so fascinating to me #snow & white & figaro & oz are even more fascinating #oz who only started learning abut the world because arthur asked things about the world................. #oz who made arthur pancakes................................. #they make me ill. figaro feels like he should be the most welladapted cuz in some ways he IS. guy who lies about his power and age and love #humans and that one offhand line in 2nd anni about how he has cared for kids!??!? dude i need to reread 2nd anni did that ever get brought #up again #but figaro & love is................guy who leaves when he thinks he isnt loved anymore #<-guy who was taught by snow&white who valued e/o the most #2nd anni makes me lose my mind. figaro and fausts convo. both who felt like it was the other who left LIKE FIGAROS SURPRISE WAS UNREEEAAALL #somethings deeply wrong with him i am so intrigued #i need to go reread his pt2 parts like what the actual hell dude #the mental gymnastics he does in one part is ? id like to study u and the twins under a microscope #this is all shallowly/casually speaking about it btw theres a lot of things left&right about all of these topics that makes them very yummy #i think what gets me the most about pt2 is that a lot of it is things that we alrdy knew regarding characters feelings etc. such as figaro #but seeing them say it themself makes me faint #OH MY GOOODDDDDD THE FLASHBACK CONVO WITH OZ AND FIGARO? ABOUT WOULD U SAVE THE PERSON U LOVE OR THE WORLD #AND HOW FIGARO ENDS UP FALTERING DEAR LOOOOORRRDDDDDDDDDDDDD #fucked up family (affectionate) #i need to think of modern aus again i thought about arthur calling snow & white granpa for one second and everything hrut #ok im sorry i dont know what possessed me. i promise ill be rereading stuff soon #one more thing. fausts part in pt2. god. but in this cursed world the sage trusted me...

[starphobe]

fh fandom back to wishing death on a fictional teenager for being mentally ill and not learning how to cope with that in a healthy way. what else is new

#do i think klck is correct? no #do i think a fandom full of grown adults should stop holding this (manipulated) (not sound of mind) teenager to wack standards? ya #like.... some of you are... how do i say this.... ~projecting~ #and dont get me wrong this isnt me trying to say shes some kind of innocent misunderstood blorbo 🥺🥺🥺 #i think shes a freak and a cunt. but im going to be normal about it and NOT say that she deserves to be killed (????) #pre-overtaking she was clearly aware that her behavior wasn't healthy #the fact she even went to jawbone at all (and was honest with him!) proves that imo #personally i feel like she might be neurodivergent -> struggling with knowing which rules to break and which ones to not #we literally JUST had an episode where the principal of AAA told students to their face that studying and working hard is dumb #i think kipperlilly came to aguefort. couldn't get a grip on what they Actually wanted from her #(parents went to mumple. she couldnt have been prepared for aguefort) #and out of frustration she fixated on people who were doing well and compared herself to them #and the only major surface difference she could find? tragic backstories #it only makes sense that she'd assume that THAT is what was missing. her inability to adapt to AAA was out of her control #so instead of blaming smth abstract (neurodivergence/other mental illness) #this single. concrete. and obvious difference is way easier to latch on to #but yeah. imo she just reads as someone super neurodivergent who received No Help because she 'made do' #and when thrown into a situation that required a skillset she wasn't born with. she shut down and got defensive #noone is born wanting to die yadda yadda #i think it's very interesting that when jawbone turned the question around on her (asking what SHE could do to get better) #she got quiet and awkward #its almost like she was trying her best? and just couldn't figure out where to go next? #and OH would you look at that. jace offering her a trip to the mountains of chaos. for a ~super dangerous adventure~ #🙄 #anyway. #awfully convenient. isn't it. #this has been me. having takes on ms goldendoodle shibainu #goodnight everyone (its noon) #not tagging this out of fear of the *** stans out there who will not stop taking things personally

[theclosetedskeleton]

WHOLESOME POSTING STARTS NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333

#you dont get how much i wanna explode right now #/VVVVPOS #i dont wanna go rest because i need to feel this joy and whimsy #hmmmm!!!!!!!!!! i really wonder who is the cause of this !!!!!!! #you guys will never guess (camera pans to my qpp) #!!!!!!!!!!! #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH <3333333/GEN/QP #EVERYTHING. about my qpp is PERFECT #“but--” your argument is instantly rejected. Why? because its WRONG!!!! MY QPP IS SO AMAZING AND PERFECT AND WONDERFUL AND AND #THE LOVELIEST PERSON ALIVE IS MY QPP???? HOWWW <333 #HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY #i feel like that one person trapped and then my qpp is just that one mercy angel image DO YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABT #LIKE THERES 8 BILLION PEOPLE OUT THERE. ME??? #I couldnt ask for anyone better #because NOBODY is better than my qpp <33333 #I have never wanted to shake and smile and grin and bounce off the walls because of someone before meeting it i guess thats saying a lot #guys i literally STIMMED thinking abt my qpp <3333 #jarvis show me how i can give all of my love and more to this lovely person #its 12am and instead of sleeping or studying for a test i have in 8 hours I am filled to the brim with sappiness #no WONDER music artists write about love all the time <333 #/qp #/gen #closet rambles again on tumblr #<333333

[pikslasrce]

*patrick bateman voice* i have to watch speedpaint videos

#i am beginning to think that there is nothing really wrong with my art style. or lack of imagination. but my PROCESS #bc its very rigid i use too many layers when theres no need i have to go sketch1/2/3->lineart->color. its killing me #like what if i dont want to have lineart what if i want to try painting a bit huh. i literally dont have a brain for that im too analytical #ok im done complaining im gonna study a bit and then..... getting down to business #piksla.txt

[clowngremlin]

Btw more on some of my thoughts about jimmy....I think he wants to be understood by someone (nny but like I think he is so desperate to be understood in general) and to me, there's like an air of tragedy to his character because the one person he thinks will understand him hates him and kills him and like yes he did bad things but like I think at jimmy's core he is looking for connection and understanding because he feels so alienated from everyone and that caused him to do what he did

#the wretched gremlin strikes again #jimmyposting #this and more is outlined in my google doc btw #this is like one of the core things in my jimmy studies (what i called my google doc) #yes i am aware this all sounds deranged like this is a character from a funny comic about murder #and also like a lot of this is also probably me projecting some stuff onto him but that's between me and my therapist #and before anyone gets mad at me for humanizing and sympathizing with a [redacted] these things have nuances ok #like i do think what he did was wrong dont get it twisted #but im allowed to have feelings and opinions on him #anyways that's my disclaimer to ease my anxiety

[tortademaracuya]

It feels undeserving 👍

#once again thinking if i should like. not tell anyone #not tell anyone when the festival will be held nor my thesis defense #dont tell anyone absolutely anyone so no one can come see me #whyshould i make people waste time on seeing probably one of the worst things i have worked on #i feel. judged everyday. nothing is as good as it should be #this does not feel like a feat but rather a terrible shame #who cares about my degree i always feel like im being shamed when someone broughts up the fact im working on my thesis #i like what i study. dont get me wrong. and i dont think this in general. this is a me only issue and iknow that #and i know everyone would get upset with me #not like my mind cares haha the thoughts wont stop even if i try to be rational #i feel like such a terrible burden just asking for help. i feel like everyones thinking what a disappointment i am #i shouldnt need help. i should be doing this alone. and it should be way better than the garbage im making #last class the professors asked me 'why did u rate yourself so low? your work is fine' #i didnt even pick the low option i wanted. i picked a higher one to be generous with myself. i wish i had picked a 1. thats what i deserved #even if they say it looks good or that they r excited to see what i make. it all sounds like lies in my head #no one showing up is what i deserve. i shouldnt ask for help. i shouldnt celebrate anything #i wish people would yell at me and tell me what a fuck up i am #'the people that love you would be excited to help you if you would actually let them' #it all feels like a set up for showing what an idiot i am #haunted.txt

[insertcoolnameherethanks]

My one fear is that ST5 does go back in time and no one remembers, therefore Steve is still King Steve and loses the friendships he's made with the kids and Robin

#Like dont get me wrong I love King Steve type media BUT THE CHARACTER GROWTH WILL BE GONE #bad ending right there v bad ending #“Well at least he's alive” no. Shut up #I am that no fear one fear tshirt guy #Robin walks past and Steve gets a confused look like SOMETHING is off but he doesn't know what #Then proceeds to let his friends bully her??? I actually will riot #“But that means they can save Eddie and Barb” BRO BARB GOING rip Barb IS NANCY'S WHOLE ARC #SHE WOULD NEVER BE THE BADASS BITCH SHE IS IF BARB DIDNT GO rip Barb forever will be missed #LIKE YOU THINK LIL MISS STRAIGHT A NANCY WHEELER IS GONNA HAVE GUNS IN HER ROOM AND GO AGAINST THE GRAIN? #NAH SHE GONNA BRING HOMEMADE STUDY CARDS #I LOVE EDDIE JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT PERSON and I do think it was unnecessary to kill him off #Because they can say “oh its growth for Dustin's character” we've already seen a lot of growth for his character #It made no sense to do it and didn't further the plot and literally everyone seemed to forget 2 seconds later (ya other things were happeni #But like you mean to tell me no one but Dustin told Wayne????) #Duffers said we originally wanted to kill Steve off and regret we didn't so we're gonna create someone JUST to kill off #Like every death makes sense to the plot and to further the plot except his and yes I can go into detail BUT I WONT #BACK TO STEVE BABY #This is quite literally the worst thing for his character if they make him grow so much snd become loved #Just to put him back into asshole douchebag status (of course I would still let him get it rip to u but im different) #Like honestly that's worse then death for him and if Duffers are doing that??? #Duffers its gonna be ON SIGHT #You will catch these hands #Steve Harrington #Stranger Things #Stranger Things s5 #Stranger Things thoughts #King Steve Harrington #Hello I'm speaking here