#i know realistically when I get home I'll have stuff to do. but whatever. don't care anymore. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moralesluvr · 1 year

Note

omggg pls do miles 42 with a daughter (preferably a baby) !!🥺

daddy's little princess ft. miles morales

♡ pairings & aus: husband!dad!earth42!miles morales x black!fem!reader ♡ summary: you come home from work to your two favorite people bonding with each other ♡ warnings: mentions of murder..pretty sure thats it ♡ a/n: anon don't play w me this is convincing me to have a baby ♡ got a request? | masterlist ♡

YOUR HUSBAND LOVED HIS TWO GIRLS more than anything. That being you, of course-- his wife, along with your beautiful daughter Aaliyah, who had just turned one a couple days ago. Ever since you had become pregnant and he asked you to marry him, he's only had a soft spot for you and your little one.

Today, unfortunately, your boss called you at six in the morning to inform you that you were needed in the courthouse immediately, for whatever reason. While your husband was out doing whatever 'gangster' stuff he pleased in your teenage years, you had went through college and bagged a couple degrees in forensics and law. Miles had stopped being the prowler when he found out that you were pregnant, the ultimate fear of putting his daughter in danger causing him to pick up a well-paying job that allowed him to work from home. So here he was, your little girl laying on his chest as he watched you get ready. He carefully sat up, slowly bouncing her on his shoulder so that she wouldn't wake. He whispered, "Do you have to go? Tell that lil boy that today was your day off."

You giggle, slipping on your work pants, "He isn't some 'lil boy', Miles, he's my boss. And I wish I could stay, but apparently it's a really important case and they need the best of the best."

"Oh, so you sayin' you that girl, hm?" He whispered, rubbing your daughter's back when he heard her coo. You giggled, slipping on a white button up and undoing the top three, a black blazer accenting the plain blouse. You grabbed your purse and keys and headed over to your husband and beautiful daughter, kissing her on her forehead, "I guess so. I should be back by three or four, depending on how many people this person decided to slaughter."

"If you ain't home by four, I'll be the one up in that courthouse." Miles warns, but his lips stretch into a smile as he gives you a quick kiss on the lips, "I love you. Be safe."

You nod, "You gonna be okay with Aaliyah? Lately she's been fussy."

"This is literally my daughter, remember?" Your husband remarks jokingly, "She'll be okay. I got her, hermosa."

"Mkay." You suck your teeth with uncertainty, "Love you both endlessly."

And with that, you were out the door.

For the first four hours that you were gone, everything was a breeze. Aaliyah would let out an occasional cry or whine when she was hungry or needed to be changed, but she didn't start really acting up until about one 'o clock, where she was screaming so loud, Miles was sure that she had damaged her vocal chords beyond repair. He tried everything he possibly could- playing with her, trying to put her to sleep, feeding her, and nothing was working.

Finally, he just sighed, picking her up and holding her up to his head. He bounced her, "What's the matter lil ma, huh? Why're you cryin'? Is it cause you miss mommy?"

That statement earns a cry.

"Yeah...I miss her too." He sighs, placing your daughter on his shoulders as he holds her hands with his own, making his way to the living room. He then sits down and places her next to him, "Okay, if you stop cryin', then we can have some ice cream and watch some of mommy's TV shows that she doesn't let us watch. I'll let you pick, but you can't tell, okay? How does that sound?"

He knows that realistically, your daughter can't make out half of what he's saying, but he finds it hilarious when Aaliyah gives him a nod, her cries slowly started to silence. He smiles and hurriedly runs to the kitchen to fix one bowl of small strawberry ice cream and one bowl of vanilla. He grabs a small spoon and runs over to your daughter, who's sucking on her tiny fists angrily. Miles eyes her, "No, baby, look- here's your ice cream."

He feeds her a spoonful and she immediately gives him a toothless grin, "Yummy!"

"It is, isn't it? It's bussin'. Can you say bussin'?"

He laughs when Aaliyah just gives him incoherent noises. He then turns on the TV and clicks 'Real Housewives'. Was it necessarily appropriate? No, but then again, the girl was one, so as long as it stopped her screeching, it was good to go.

Before the two of them knew it, you were home, walking through the front door and expecting your husband and baby girl to be up and rowdy. Instead, you saw Aaliyah resting on Miles' chest, his head hanging off of the couch's armrest. Two bowls of ice cream were completely empty with spoons inside of them, licked completely clean. The muffled sound of your favorite show played aloud. You smiled and kicked off your flats, grabbing a blanket from the linen closet as you slid next to your husband. You felt him wrap an arm around you sleepily, "Mami?"

"I'm here." You smiled, snuggling into your lover's side as your hand ghosted over your baby's thick hair. You heard Miles mumble against your ear, "I love you."

And you replied sweetly, eyelashes batting as you felt the opiate of sleep undertake you,

"I love you more."

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 ☻ thank you for reading!

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓🕷️: @queenesther996 //@sukunas-slutty-bitch // @c3f21 // @wydney // @rinnyisnothere // @brieryann // @moisttowllet // @Dee-m-cee // @liliummz // @starhrtz // @daisydark // @randomhoex // @solanawrld // @whore4hobie // @tanakaslastbraincell // @simp4miguell // @nyrovi3 // @my3tumbles // @aziulsworld // @enchantingfoxsparkles

𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ✎: @Dee-m-cee // @euphorichappiness10 // @adoree-kaelynn // @mhadnirb // @mmst4rz // @iris-theflower // @fleurrieerecs // @kenlani // @kala2022

1K notes · View notes

cowgurrrl · 11 months

Note

Hello! Would it be possible to get some rockstar!joel and actrees!reader proposal/wedding stuff? Absolutely in loveee with the story!!

Yesssss!! I’m so excited to write this!! Thank you for the request 🫶

I Want To Marry You

Pairing: rockstar!joel x actress!reader

Author’s note: Dedicated to everyone who ever loved me enough to try again. Let’s get coffee sometime.

Summary: Joel asks you The Question [3.3k]

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, family fluff, things coming full circle, oh god I love them

Joel's been acting weird the past few days. You're not in a fight. You're between projects right now, and he's always plunking music in the home studio. Everybody's healthy and happy. You can't pinpoint exactly why he's being jumpy or disappearing into the garage to take phone calls, but you trust him to tell you if something's happening. Still, it throws you off.

When you tell Carolina about it, she reassures you it's probably nothing. "Maybe he's going to surprise you with a romantic getaway or something like that." She suggests, and you laugh as you fiddle with Daisy's collar. She also seemed to sense the shift in the house because she's gotten especially clingy recently.

"You have kids. You know how hard it is to get away." You say, shaking your head.

"Yeah, but my kids are seven and three. Not seventeen and twenty-one."

"Still! Ellie's in school, and even though Sarah has her own apartment now, I don't like going super far in case she needs one of us. That's why we stagger our schedules like we do."

"Did your mom worry about you this much when you were twenty-one?" She asks. You laugh because she knows the answer. She knew what you were like in your early twenties, and somebody definitely should've been worrying about you.

"My mom didn't even know what borough I lived in at twenty-one." You say. "It's not a bad thing to want to be close. Do you remember when I dropped a plate and cut my foot open on the broken glass and had to take a cab to the hospital?"

"God, don't remind me." She shudders. Carolina had come home to find your tiny apartment in Hell's Kitchen empty and covered in blood. For exactly twenty seconds, she believed you'd be axe-murdered and dragged away by the killer until you called her and told her what happened, resulting in a ten-minute-long conversation about how many people in Manhattan realistically own axes.

"All I'm saying is I don't want Sarah to be bleeding out in the back of a stranger's car if Joel or I can be there instead."

"You worry too much." She says. "But, then again, all the best moms do."

"Not their mom." You say quickly as if she’d thrown you a ticking bomb and you’re trying to pass it right back to her.

"Yeah, but you're the closest thing they have to one."

"That's true, but I don't want to put that kind of pressure on the girls. They shouldn't have to call me anything they don't want to, and I'm not going to replace their moms."

"Of course not, honey, and nobody would accuse you of doing that, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't love those girls like they're your own."

"I know." You sigh. "I just worry."

"I know you do." She says. Carolina has been there for all your worrying over the years. Worrying about how you were gonna pay rent, when your next job would come in, and whatever stupid boy you were seeing at the moment. She knows how to calm you down and take your mind off things. "Why don't you get out of the little worry hole you've dug yourself into and come with me and the girls to get our nails done? It'll be fun, and you'll get to hang out with your goddaughters."

"When?"

"Tomorrow?" She says, and you mentally flip through your calendar.

"I think I can do tomorrow. Send me a time and place, and I'll be there." You say as the front door opens and closes. You furrow your brows and walk to the top of the stairs to see what's happening. A smiley face greets you with a wave, and you hurriedly hang up on Carolina.

"Sarah! What are you doing here, bug?" You ask as you rush down the stairs to hug her. Joel beams as he watches you embrace her for several long seconds, not pulling away until she does.

"Just missed y'all." She mumbles into your shoulder, and you kiss her temple. She's twenty minutes up the road, but it feels like a lifetime away.

"Sarah!" Ellie yells and joins in on your hug without hesitation. The three of you dissolve into a fit of giggles, and Joel just stands there, watching the madness unfold. Joel has never been good at hiding his emotions, and you've always been good at reading him like a book. The look he gives you and the girls is full of love and pride and something deeper, something more meaningful. You raise an arm to pull him into the group hug, and he pretends to be annoyed, but he snuggles in with the three of you, kissing each of your foreheads.

You spend the night making dinner and chocolate chip cookies with the girls and Joel (and Daisy ever so graciously cleaning up the remnants of a food fight Joel started) before curling up on the couch with them and watching a movie. It's just like every other time you've sat and watched whatever movie the girls have been dying to see, but as you rest against Joel's chest, something pricks in your brain. This feels different. He feels different. His hands run a nervous course from your shoulder to your wrist, and his head occasionally dips to kiss at the juncture of your neck. It's like he can't sit still.

"You okay?" You whisper, glancing at him. He gives you a confused look but nods anyway.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. I'm probably just anxious for no reason." You shrug. He pulls you close and kisses your temple, keeping you close as the movie continues. At the end of the night, Joel carries both the girls to bed even though he's forty-three and could've let them sleep on the couch. You didn't tell him this, of course, because who are you to pull him back from Dad Mode? So, you cautiously walk in front of him, kicking stray clothes or backpacks out of the way so he doesn't trip. Once Sarah and Ellie are safely tucked into bed, Joel scoops you up by your waist and throws you over his shoulder to carry you into your shared bedroom.

You laugh the whole way in, and when he plops you down on the bed, you wrap your legs around his waist and keep him close. Your fingers reach up to tug the necklace out from under his shirt collar and play with the pendant as he stares at you.

"What're you thinking about?" You ask.

"Thinking bout us." He says, and you raise your eyebrows at him.

"Oh, do tell."

"We've been together a long time."

"Sick of me already?" You ask, making him laugh, but he shakes his head and kisses you, traces of chocolate and cinnamon lingering on his lips.

"Never." He says. "I was just thinkin' bout it." Technically, it's true. You guys have been together for a while. This year, it'll almost be four years since you walked into that office in Beverly Hills and met him. You remember thinking you would finish out the contract and never see him again. Little did you know Joel Miller would become the man making you dinner most nights and carrying you off to bed. Or that he'd throw you the best thirtieth birthday party in the history of birthday parties. Or that you'd move in with him and his daughters. Or that you'd love him more than you've ever loved anyone.

"It's weird to think I went so long without knowing you." You mumble, your hold on him tightening like you're scared he'll fade away if you don't cling to him. He rests his forehead against yours, sensing your anxiety spiking, and you're overwhelmed by him. Your legs are still locked around his waist, and your chests are touching, the points of contact sending little butterflies fluttering through your veins. You can't see, taste, feel, or smell anything that isn't Joel.

"'M not goin' anywhere." He says, and you nod. "Ever."

"I'm gonna hold you to that, Miller." You joke, trying to ease your brain out of your spiraling and lighten the air between you two. He laughs, and the room brightens as he does.

"Do your worst, darlin'."

When you wake up the next morning, Joel isn't there. You reach for him and find a piece of paper on his cold pillow. How long has he been gone? How the fuck did you sleep through him rolling out of your arms? You squint in the early morning sun as you read the note.

You sigh and grumble into your pillow. What kind of psychopath runs errands at nine in the morning? The kind of psychopath you love, that's who. You lay in the too-big bed for a few more minutes before finally getting up and checking your phone. Carolina has texted you with the address of a nail salon and told you to meet her at eleven, but other than that, your phone is radio silent. Not that you're complaining, but normally you're bombarded with notifications from when you wake up to when you go to bed. It's nice, if not a little unnerving, to not have five million people to respond to the first thing in the morning.

When you walk downstairs, you expect to see Sarah and Ellie sitting at the table and eating, but no one's there. You call for the girls, but the only person who responds is Daisy, who dances in front of you. You crouch down to pet her and give her good morning kisses. "Just us today, huh?" You ask, a little sad, but nobody is more excited about one-on-one time quite like Daisy Mae. You give Daisy breakfast before letting her run around the backyard and making yourself something to eat.

You scroll aimlessly through your phone until it's time to leave and meet Carolina and the girls at the nail salon. Elizabeth and Victoria launch themselves at you the second they catch sight of you, and you spend the better half of your appointment with a child on your lap and listening to the latest drama from Elizabeth's first-grade classroom. You have the girls help pick out what color to paint your nails, and they each land on a pretty ballet slipper pink. "Good taste, guys," you praise as you show the nail technician what color you want. "Just like your mama, huh?"

"I mean, I wasn't gonna say it," Carolina says, and you laugh. Caro, like usual, is right about needing to take some time for yourself to stop worrying. You can actually relax in the big, plush chairs and talk to the girls like nothing could be more important than what they had for breakfast. Carolina hugs you tighter than normal at the end of your appointment and says she'll see you later before ushering the girls into their car seats. You barely have time to react before she's driving away like nothing happened.

Did you make plans with her and forget about them? It's happened before, so you wouldn't be overly surprised if it happened again. But if that's the case, why didn't she say anything? You shake your head as if it'll shake out all your racing thoughts and get in your car to drive home. When you pull into the driveway, everyone's cars are back where they belong, and you selfishly get really excited about seeing them. Except, the exact second you step through the door, Joel is putting Daisy's harness on her and has his running shoes on.

"Where are you going?" You ask, your mood dropping at seeing him ready to leave again. He looks up and smiles despite the pout on your lips.

"There you are! We were waiting on you so we could take Daisy for a walk." He says, breathless as he wrestles with your pitbull. You look past Joel and see Sarah and Ellie standing there with shoes and sunglasses on.

"We really need four people for a dog walk?"

"I wanted to show the girls the new route along the beach we found." He says. "Is that okay?" You nod.

"We just might look crazy, but, of course! Let me change my shoes!" You call as you take the stairs two at a time to get up to your bedroom. You decide to wear the pink tennis shoes to match your cute pink nails before ambling back downstairs and walking out the door. When you first rescued Daisy, she didn't let anyone but you hold her leash. However, after years spent with Joel and the girls, she can be walked by just about anyone as long as you're there. She's as much of your comfort dog as you are her comfort person.

Taking your hand in his, Joel walks Daisy with the other and swings your hands through the air as Sarah and Ellie walk behind you. It's a little silly, but you'll take all the affection after waking up without anyone else in the house. Slowly, the five of you make your way toward the sound of the crashing waves and the smell of salt in the air. The cliffs hang ominously above the empty beach and boardwalks, but you love it. You once told Joel when you walk out this far, it feels like you're the only person around. Something about being near the water makes you feel even better. A pop of color near the sidewalk catches your attention, and you break off from your little ragtag group to see what it is.

"Joel, come look at this." You say, leaning over the rope to look down at the wildflowers dancing on the cliffside. It's gorgeous, and the wind perfectly balances the blistering hot day, but he doesn't immediately appear at your side like he normally would. You furrow your brows and turn to see him down on one knee with a ring in his hand. Your breath catches in your throat, and you immediately cover your mouth with your hand. Joel smiles with watery eyes as he reaches for the other and pulls you close to him.

"Did you know about this?" You look past Joel to see Ellie and Sarah standing there, Daisy's leash wrapped around Ellie's wrist as Sarah records on her phone, and they laugh. Their smiles and teary eyes are all the confirmation you need, and you look back down at Joel. "Is this why you've been acting so weird?" You ask, and he laughs.

"Yeah, this is why I've been actin' so weird," he says. His Adam's apple bobs as he says your name and your legs shake under you. "I love you, and I fall more in love with you every single day. There's not a single moment I've spent with you where I've not wondered what the fuck you see in me." He's crying now, but you can't stop the laughter from bubbling out from your chest. He squeezes your hand and takes a deep breath before continuing. "And you don't just love me, but you love my girls. You make them feel safe and cared for. You've given them somethin' I've been tryin' and failin' to give them for years, and I will spend the rest of my days tryna repay you for that."

"Will you marry me?" He finally asks, and you sniffle. Tears stain everyone's face, and even Daisy is crying next to Ellie, and you'd laugh if you could see past the tears in your eyes. You nod and drop to your knees with Joel.

"Yes." You say as you grab his face and kiss him. "Yes. Yes. Yes. Of course, I'll marry you." You repeat over and over again as his arms lock around your waist. Sarah and Ellie cheer, suddenly no longer annoyed at your PDA, and you smile against Joel's lips. He adjusts his hold on you to give you a good look at the ring for the first time, and all your breath leaves you in a huff. It's gorgeous. A simple oval-shaped diamond on a gold band with an engraving on the inside.

"What does this say?" You ask, and he smiles as he holds it so you can read it. You immediately start crying when you read and realize what it means. He wrote inside your engagement ring, "And one day, we'll get coffee & try again." You said it to him before you left for Ireland when your heart was broken, and you didn't know the future could ever be this soft. He slips it onto your left ring finger and gathers you in his arms, both of you still on the ground and crying like crazy people. You don't care. You hold him so tight you almost miss him whispering into your skin.

"Thank you for trying again with me." He says. Ellie, Sarah, and Daisy join in on your crying in the middle of the sidewalk huddle, and you're completely surrounded by love. After a few minutes, you calm down enough to stand and kiss Joel again, making people cheer from the beach below. When you look over the rope, down to where the wildflowers are, you can see a group of your favorite people on the beach. They must've been hidden until Joel could propose, and now they're all making their joy well known with hoots and hollers.

Joel holds your hand as the girls lead the way down to the beach, where there's a makeshift bar and picnic set up with a giant banner reading "CONGRATULATIONS" with a little ring in the middle. "This is what the errands were this morning," Joel tells you quietly, and you smile.

"You're pretty good at keeping secrets, Miller."

"Not really. Everyone here knew I was proposing before you did," he says, and you laugh. "Besides, I'd watch it with the Miller thing considering you're becomin' one."

"I guess that's true." You sigh happily as Ryan ambushes you, picking you up in his arms and spinning you around. You squeal until he puts you back down and immediately demands to see your ring. Carolina comes up behind him as you show him, her eyes popping out of her head at the sight.

"Damn, Joel!" She exclaims, and Joel laughs.

"Only the best for my bride." He says. My bride. It rings in your head like a bell, echoing through your mind like gospel. You look around at the faces of everyone you've ever loved. Your manager, Sierra, and her partner, Bianca, are talking with Lili and Peter. Sarah and Ellie are running up and down the beach with Daisy, Elizabeth, and Victoria, struggling to keep up. Hank and Lucia patiently wait their turn at the bar next to Tommy and Maria. Your beauty team, Alexa and Jenna, laugh together as they talk to a handful of other costars they've also worked with. The beach is crawling with family, both of origin and found, and you wouldn't want it any other way.

As you make your rounds with Joel on your arm, showing off your ring and trying not to cry as people tell you how happy they are for you, you wish you could show your past self this moment. The girl who packed up all her shit and moved across the world after breaking up with the love of her life. The girl who spent countless nights crying herself to sleep and going to therapy and trying to create a better life for herself. The girl who almost backed out of a coffee date three years ago because she was so scared the man on the other side of the table wouldn't like what he found. You wish she could see this and know she did the right thing. You wish she knew things ended up okay. You wish she knew she got to try again, and it changed her entire life. Wherever she is, you hope she knows she did good.

"What're you thinkin' bout?" Joel whispers in your ear as he hands you a glass of champagne. You smile and shake your head.

"Just… someone I used to know."

#one for the money two for the show #rockstar!joel x actress!reader #rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader #rockstar!joel #tlou au #the last of us au #the last of us fluff #tlou fluff #joel miller au #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff #joel miller series #joel miller x reader #joel miller the last of us

136 notes · View notes

captain-aralias · 1 year

Text

life update

i'm 14-weeks pregnant 🎉

due date: 30th may

bit more info below the cut

i thought about making a lulzy WIP wednesday post (aka, "here is what i'm working on") along these lines a few times, but i didn't want to tag anyone into personal stuff they didn't necessarily want, and also i thought i miscarried almost immediately and that started me down a spiral of anxiety, so now it's not so funny. but anyway - i thought today would be a good day to tell people, since we're out the first trimester.

how:

IVF - worked first time

my partner's egg

donor sperm - man it's weird buying sperm, particularly from america, although i only browsed. i bought from the UK. i do know men i could have asked, but in the end i thought... i dont know anyone well enough i'd want to have a child with them. at all.

happy to answer questions about any of the above, if you're interested. thinking of writing a blog about it in my work persona.

how am i?

fine apart from the anxiety!

my main symptoms have been exhaustion, leading to very little writing, and some nausea but pretty weaksauce compared to some

i've told most people at work, which is a very supportive environment, so all good.

my partner's therapist said (to her) not to make big life decisions so soon after the death of my mum/her dad on the same day about a year ago, but we are both in our mid thirties and at our most financially viable, so - hopefully it's fine.

how is baby?

probably ok! we've seen them on several scans, definitely have two arms, two legs, brain, etc

still haven't managed to do the test that tells you the likiehood of Downs etc, though, as the baby has refused to move into a position where they could get a good measurement. we may know towards the end of december - so that is making me More Anxious, but it's still fine

why am i putting this on the internet?

a few reasons.

firstly - i would've told livejournal. the same thing happened when my mum died - i wanted to tell the online community i'm part of, the same way i've told friends and people from work.

but also - because i've been saying i've been tired and that i'm not writing on here, and i wanted everyone to know... this is why. i'm not sick! i'm just pregnant.

AND ... i don't know what the next six months, and then the next.......... twenty years will be like. i'm hoping to write a few more Carry On things before the baby arrives, assuming the second trimester is less tiring (which seems likely so far), but who knows? and probably less after that. BUT WHO KNOWS.

my partner is also a fandom person. i have nine(ish) months of maternity leave (thanks, britain!) and she'll be around for most of that too, thanks to working from home. so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe i'll be writing a bunch of extremely realistic babyfics or something. probably not, but you never know.

anyway!

that's the news.

it may all still go wrong, obviously. we haven't done all the tests, still six months to go.

i'll update with these same tags, if we lose the baby for whatever reason, and i'll update if we don't!

#personal #aralias's baby #pregnancy

112 notes · View notes

horriddler · 1 year

Text

playlists for my redacted babes (repost)

i actually just got into the fandom a month ago and kinda just binged listened erik's vids buuut! this is how i depict guy, david, sam, caelum and milo in music because i can and wanted to (there will be more in the future)

pizza guy

i headcanon him as a band/theater kid shrugs so i may or may not have added some...musicals in the playlist

but i mean come on, look at me in the eye and tell me he really loves to sing the lyrics to "sexy" by mean girls. look at that little menace and then to me.

his favourite song is sincerely me btw

dabey wabey, our little fiance,

i know he loves crazy by gnarls barkley ONGG

probably listens to it in the car while waiting for angel to finish their shift.

he’s the type to tap on the beat on his steering wheel aswell because he’s mysterious like that

our little derek hale's twin here definitely DEFINITELY likes those jazz kinda stuff like this is the lost generation by the lost generation) to make him look more like a mysterious man.

(will add more songs like that soon!)

sam cowboy collins

unironically added some country music (the catchy songs)

and ALSO HE DEFINITELY LIKES RHCP. TELL ME IM WRONG | DARE YOU.

but i do think some songs doesn't really fit him, but at the same time i do think it does.

he's kinda like those 50-60's rock and roll type of guy too or he just turns on the radio and listen to whatever (similar to david)

milo (the drink)

okay in all honesty, i don't know if i'm right with the song choices here and i'm quite sad about it…

but i do think his music taste is a little similar to asher's, just a bit.

he sounds like the punk/2000's rap loving kinda guy but his whole vibe really gives off deftones.

oh yeah his favourite song is cupid's chokehold. it's fucking canon in my head.

caelum my sweetest babyboy

he's my kin so he gets all the mitski songs teehee, so imagine this playlist is him having the best time of my life!!!!

he definitely would love mitski and just anything that reminds him of the sweet times he and david had together, i don't make the rules.

the whole playlist is kinda depressing to be honest

but i'll try to add some more happy happy songs for when he feels excited when he notices he had untied some knots!

ivan (sadism’s hold)

oh no.

had an awfully little time to make this one. i really just tried to pick up the sadism's hold vibe, kinda creepy aura of music!

and some songs that make me want to scream (drunk walk home)

i'm actually kind of proud of this one tbh, i had the right (in my opinion) songs for ivan but yes! :)

everytime i talk about my playlist of him, i keep thinking of the song caravan because i feel like both the movie whiplash and sadism's hold are similar to me. the psychological stress and manipulation are so fascinating. the ending to whiplash and how ivan manipulates the listener comes out so natural and realistic, it can't be seen unless you really open your eyes and see the dark side on things. it makes you forget what had happened and the process throughout it that made andrew and the listener become like how ivan/fletcher wanted them to be. and the way it makes you give in and think it's completely okay and comforting and safe because it was what you have loved and/or what you have been needing. the whole thing with the psychology behind it makes it so eerie but interesting.

——————————————

but please do check out my spotify profile for some more playlists and maybe you can be updated when i add another character playlist

so that's it so far :)! i'm still new to the redactedverse so i'm sorry if i'm not feeling it like how yall are feeling it ykyk, i was newly obsessed so i was itching. ITCHING. to make a playlist so yeah!! hope you enjoy! but please do be aware that this is my kind of music taste and i pick songs that i really like so it's okay if it doesn't suit your taste

33 notes · View notes

mejomonster · 1 year

Text

One of my favorite anxiety tips i read, was this: if you tend to fear the worst outcome will happen or be very stressed about something (like say going to the grocery store, a party, going to the doctor visit, riding the bus, whatever)

Before you go, take a moment to think out a few things. 1. Think the worst case, that you're possibly fearing, and what you might do if it happened or what consequences it might have. Say you're worried about going to the grocery store. For me, I may be worried worst case they won't have what I need, I'll forget what I need, the cashier tries to talk to me and i royally fuck up what I say, they call me a bitch, maybe I run into an ex at the store who tries to follow me. For me maybe I'd plan to just leave asap if any of those things happen: just go straight home, never go to that specific grocery store again, do my shopping online next time from a different store. Basically I think of what I'm scared of, and what my plan maybe is if it happens.

2. Think of your best case scenario. Really be indulgent, whatever is your personal best case. For me, if I don't want to see anyone, my best case is the grocery store is quite empty and I don't have to look at anyone, everything I need is there and easy to get to AND the Jean jacket I really want is there for sale for like $6 and in my exact size, and maybe when I check out I get complimented on my hair (or the cashier barely notices me). For you, it might be that you get tons of compliments on your cute clothes, everything is cheaper than usual, you meet the love of your life in the baked goods isle and they get your number and ask you on a date, you run into your best friend there and she talks to the cashier for you (if you don't like talking to the cashier), and you get to pet a puppy outside the store (if you like puppies). You can make the best case scenario as awesome as you want it to be. (And honestly you'd be surprised how potentially awesome the actual outing could be... I did my "best case dream scenario" for a vacation I was worried about once and 90% of my unrealistic best case stuff happened).

3. Now think of a realistic case of what will probably happen. Something in between your worst fear and best hopes. For me, for grocery shopping, the realistic case I'd think about would be: I go, some stuff is for sale and somes expensive but I mostly end up spending what I planned, it's a bit busy but no one talks to me because I don't talk to them, if I see anyone who lives around here i dont want to talk to then i just walk away from the area they're in, I get most of what I went for but maybe forget a couple things or they don't have them, I check out and maybe say "have a nice day" to the cashier and feel stupid but I leave and the cashier forgets what I said because they don't know me and see hundreds of people a day. I leave. It's not a super great time but it's not super awful.

When you actually go, the realistic case you thought of is the closest to how it will probably actually go. The realistic case is usually something that can be gotten through. (And if you thought of worst, best, and realistic cases, and the realistic is still "i get physically hurt badly" or "I have a panic attack and have no safe escape and try to kill myself" then it's probably fair to just Not Do it even if people are pressuring you to).

If something worse happens, you might already have a plan for it (my plan is to leave immediately if something I really dislike happens and pick a different grocery store in town in the future), if something better happens (like if you love puppies and get to pet one) then maybe scary outing had some parts you enjoyed.

This doesn't work for everything. It's helped me with some everyday situations though.

#anxiety #rant #advice #so like. personal examples of when it has worked versus has not:#when i moved out of my parents i had an unhealthy codependent and quite traumatized relationship with them #it was simply NEVER safe to bring up certain topics with my mom. and visiting my mom #always included in the worst case scenario: leave immediately if she screams or hits you. drive a neighborhood away and park #immediately call friends so you dont try to kill yourself in the middle of a panic attack.#and also included: if you cant call a friend when you go? then do NOT go to moms. if you cant safely escape if #a panic attack starts? do NOT go over there.#so like... even with worst best realistic cases? there were times it simply was not safe to visit my mom #because the worst case risk of suicide attempt with no one to reach for support was Not something safe to risk #likewise say your situation is you left TV at physically abusive ex's house and want to pick it up #the reality is. if you have no people to back you up. then worst case the ex may hurt you if you #go over alone to get your TV. in which case you simply Cannot go get your tv. not without friends. the worst case isnt #worth the risk.#now situations where best worst realistic often helps me? doctors #im horribly afraid of them. worst case: they refuse to treat me while im actively dying and i need to go to ER #when that happens i dont usually risk shit with doctors #but if i AM stable enough im not actively dying? then worst case is they hate me and refuse to help me #and then i go find a New Doctor who treats me respectfully and helps me (ultimately a bad outcome that i can endure and fix)#best case: doctor greatly improves my quality of life and helps figure out whats wrong and treat me #normal case: doctor orders some possibly useful test and prescribes a possibly useful med afterward #and if it helps yay. if it doesnt help i call them or have another appointment and they try some #more tests and meds.#best and normal case are good. even worst case i can endure (as long as im not actively dying)#this also works good for: should i go to party. to fair. to store i like. to discord chat. etc #if its something you Really Like then your Best Case Scenario might be so wonderful it will make you want to bear the fear to do it anyway

3 notes · View notes

happylandfill23 · 1 year

Note

idk what to ask so just… tell me whatever you want about your ocs

ooh i get to ramble about them :DD

ok so i basically have a bunch of different ocs who are all part of different stories n stuff so here's just some whose lives actually connect but have no real overarching story

⚠️ first off: there's some kinda heavy topics here that are listed before each character as well as in the tags, so please don't read if you're uncomfortable with them ⚠️

leviathan (levi)

tw: verbal abuse, transphobia

tw: verbal/physical abuse, sa

my most recent doodle dump had a character named levi, but he's actually a really old character who i made like 3 years ago. his name was originally gerard but i changed it to leviathan but he just goes by levi for short. his parents are divorced, and his sister lives with his dad while he lives with his mom. his dad sucks and is pretty verbally abusive toward levi, going as far as being openly transphobic around him (levi is trans), but his mom is much nicer. she's not the greatest mom, but she genuinely tries her best and really cares about levi. his sister, beatrice, is quite a bit younger than levi (he's 17 and she's like 8 or something) and i haven't developed her very far but she loves the muppets so i automatically love her. every other weekend levi has to stay with his dad while beatrice stays with her mom, which levi absolutely hates. he doesn't get to see bea very often, but they get along really well when they do get to see each other. oh he also plays the bass guitar and writes his own basslines in his room instead of actually making human interaction with his mom

charles

levi has a huge crush on his friend charles (haven't posted any drawings of him yet cuz i cannot get his hair right), who i created around the same time as levi. charles has had so much go wrong in his life and his friends are basically his only support system. his mother is an absolute piece of shit, first off. she's both verbally and physically abusive to both charles and his father (who died when he was about 10). she also refused to believe him when he told her about the sa he faced, even when given clear evidence. more has happened over the course of his 17 years of life, but i'm not gonna get into that quite right now. (mostly cuz i haven't fleshed all of it out yet but i have some general ideas)

like i mentioned earlier, levi likes charles. well charles also likes him but the two idiots are too oblivious to see it lol. the two of them just can't wrap their heads around the fact that there's even a possibility the other could like them, so who knows if anything's gonna happen with them (oh something will)

despite being a bit of a fantasy character mixed with all these more realistic characters, she's still part of this little wacky friend group and i love her

avalon

ok let's stray from the kinda depressing backstories for a moment to talk about one of my favorite ocs, avalon :)

sonya is only actually home about 5% of the time. she spends most of her time at avalon's house, or at her best friend ramona's house. she hates both of her parents and her brother's never home either, so she just chooses to wander. sonya isn't really a law abiding citizen, but she doesn't care. she's the friend who your parents think is the sweetest kid who you should invite over every day, but is actually the exact opposite when she's not around them. she started driving before she got her license, she's probably drank alcohol before, she dyes her hair both without her parents permission and directly in their bathtub (must be a pleasure coming home and finding the bathtub completely blue), and she plays her electric guitar at 1am with every setting on the amp turned up all the way. she's not the type of person you'd expect avalon to date, but the two just kinda click. they balance each other out nicely and they're really the only two people who've understood each other.

avalon is an elf girl who's dating another one of my ocs, sonya (i'll get to her later). i don't really have much about her backstory planned, but i wanted to talk about her anyway lol. she's mute, and has been since she was 13 (she's 16 now). because of this, she finds it hard to communicate with other people and tends to feel a bit like she's being ignored, but sonya always makes sure she's understood. she has an older sister, willow, who's very protective of avalon's safety. her parents, florian and rosa, are also pretty protective and try to make sure avalon stays out of trouble. because she's been safeguarded her whole life, she finds it hard sometimes to do things out in the world, and her mutism doesn't make it easier either. but she tries her best and finds new ways to do things almost every day. she usually just spends her time reading, baking apple pie, or kissing sonya though.

sonya

there are more ocs that i'd love to ramble about but i'm almost done my raccoon puzzle so if you have any more questions feel free to ask them!!

ramona

ramona is a bit similar to sonya in the sense that she's completely different around people other than her close friends. everyone perceives her as pretty much a "little miss perfect". she's in student council, she volunteers places, blah blah blah. in reality, she's fucking unhinged and will do anything in her power to bother her friends. it's just how she shows affection i suppose

#asks #bbugthegreat #rambling about ocs #tw abuse #transphobia tw #tw sa mention #tw sa

2 notes · View notes

servin-up-surveys · 1 year

Text

survey #098

(taken january 5th; uploading surveys taken while gone)

When’s the last time you rode a bike? All the way back in high school.

What color was the car you were last in? White.

Do you own many hats? I own literally one from a Carolina Hurricanes game I went to with Dad, but I never wear it; it's just a memory thing. I'm not a hat person.

Listening to music? What’s the opening and last lyric of the song? CHRIST I've discovered "Pussy Liquor" by Rob Zombie and I hate that I love it lmfao but I'm not familiar enough w/ the lyrics yet and don't feel like looking it up right now.

Have you ever taken an underwater picture? No.

What was your favorite color when you was little? Has it changed? It was red, until I truly became conscious of pink being a color. It eventually changed to maroon, but it's been back to pink for a long time now.

Are you a fan of cheesecake? It actually depends; I fucking ADORE The Cheesecake Factory's cheesecakes, but I've heard people say that's not a "real" or "proper" cheesecake or whatever. I've come to notice I don't generally really like homemade ones.

Who’s the last person that slept over at your house? Girt.

Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? Who? I know at least one person who recovered from one. Realistically I probably know WAY more.

What was the last thing you screamed? I have zero idea.

Do you love your best friend? I wanna marry him so I love him in more than one way, lol.

What is your favorite lyric? I have WAY too many.

Do you have a nativity scene in your home? We keep one up around Christmastime, yes. Or rather, Mom does. It's not something I'll do in my own place.

If you’re a girl, what color is your favorite bra? I don't have a favorite, honestly. Because of my size I don't have much variety or nice designs to choose from.

Does creating make you happy? YES. Almost more than anything.

Do you have abusive family members? I might, idk. No one in my immediate circle, though.

What US city would you most like to visit? Absolutely no idea.

What country in the world would you most like to visit? South Africa.

Do you have your wedding all planned out in your head? Definitely not. I have ideas for various things, but nowhere near everything.

What is your dream job? A great nature photographer, I guess, that gets to travel a decent amount and is able to support herself well enough...

Do you parents support your dreams? Yes. No one believes in me more than my mama, especially.

Have you ever had feelings for someone and never told them? Yep.

What’s your favorite Disney theme park? I went there once as a young kid, too young to remember these kinds of details.

What’s the theme of this year’s calendar? Don't have one, but I DID get a planner for this year! I want to be better at keeping up with things like my doctor appointments and stuff. Most of its pictures involve birds and fruit and stuff.

Do you get stage fright? If I was up there by myself, I absolutely would. When I did dance though, it was never TOO bad.

What pharmacy do you use? Walgreens.

Would you rather go to a '50s diner or a brewery? AHHHHH '50S DINER!!! The AESTHETIC, y'all. We actually had a diner kinda like that near my house, but it shut down due to Covid and I'm still very bummed about it. There's another around here too, Hwy 55, that's still open and does this really cute thing where some foods, like the fries, come in cardboard vintage cars, and they were SO cute. I remember I kept one as decoration for a while way back.

What do you like on your nachos? I honestly just like nacho cheese.

Do you still talk to your first best friend? No, we drifted apart in like, middle school.

Owls or penguins? Owls. I LOVE owls.

Charlie Brown or Snoopy? Never been into the Peanuts, but Snoopy is cute.

What was one of the stupidest things you cried over when you were little? There is literally a home video Mom has of my older sister's birthday party and I cried over not being able to pin the tail on the donkey lmfao. I was very very young, but still, damn, lol.

Have you ever drank milk from the carton? No, that REALLY grosses me out.

Do you ever sneak scraps to the dog even though you’re not suppose to? I never, ever give Cookie human food because she begs TERRIBLY, like absolutely obnoxiously, and I'm not encouraging that behavior. Mom feeds her stuff and I hate it because she acts very entitled to human food by this point; if my mom is eating, she will NOT be left alone. Cookie just stares at her food like it's the only thing in the entire span of the whole universe that matters, and she basically nearly bites my mom's hand off when she's offered anything.

What was the last book you were required to read for school? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Fucking phenomenal and very, very haunting as a woman.

Do you like cherry Coke? Yes.

Do you think guyliner is hot? YES

Would you eat a sucker if someone already ate some of it? What the fuck, no.

Would you chew somebody else's gum? No???????????

Ever said something to someone that you didn’t mean to say? Oh yes, my mouth is great at being very impulsive. I'm really trying to get better about it.

Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No, those have always sounded like literal torture to me.

Would you ever want to be a part of the army? A couple days ago I saw a shirt that said "I'd rather be served rat poison than serve this country" and I honestly want it lmfao, if that answers your question.

Would you rather sing or dance in front of your crush? Sing, I couldn't dance to save my life in the shape I'm in. I don't think I'm a great singer either, but it'd be less embarrassing.

Did you ever in your lifetime like Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus? I enjoyed the show quite a bit, but never her as a musician. "The Climb" and "Butterfly Fly Away" are fucking fantastic, though.

Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? I honestly don't know who my best female friend is, so. Besides my mom, and she can do a hell of a lot of things I can't. I think she's notably good at crafty stuff.

Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? No; my dad gives me money in person, but no one mails anything.

Do you own any shirts that have a year on it? No. Well, maybe some stored away ig, but none that I wear.

What do you think about mullets? I tend to really not like them, but sometimes they look okay.

Do you know anybody who has a birthday in November? Uhhhh... I probably do, but none that I have memorized. Teddy's birthday was November 1st, but he's been gone for a few years now...

Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? Not in my room, no.

Have you ever done another person’s make-up? Heh, I gave Jason a makeover once. That's the only time, though.

Have you ever spied on your neighbor? No...

When was the last time it rained? There was a literal severe thunderstorm yesterday. In January. And it was over 70 degrees. That NEVER happens here, ever. We've already had one winter thunderstorm before this, so this is just very odd.

Honestly, do you double dip? If I'm sharing with somebody and you're not my long-time significant other where it's no longer weird, no.

What color is your birthstone? Purple.

What is one thing you don’t like sharing? DRINKS. In almost no case will I share a drink. I don't even like sharing with my s/o, but I will if I need to.

Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? I wouldn't get a genital piercing. I also find corset piercings to be REALLY gross.

Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know, he has so many.

Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? My mom did. I can actually remember reading books with her as a young child.

Have you ever been hit on through a text message? Yeah.

Do you have to do any yard work? No.

What’s worse, ignorance or stupidity? Deliberate ignorance. Then you're just trying not to learn.

What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? AI art, its effects upon real artists, and its morality debates. An anti-AI art picture is going around dA and I've shared it on both of my accounts there considering I am VEHEMENTLY against AI "art" being a genuine form of artistic expression, and on my main's upload, I shared links to multiple articles that I read in full addressing this issue.

What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Thongs look so fucking uncomfortable to me, to name one. Even if I was in great shape and proud of my body I am VERY doubtful I could tolerate one.

Will you go outside today? I think Mom and I are getting Sonic for dinner tonight so yes.

Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? Kinesthetic as fuck. I can learn *some* things visually, though, but I'm definitely less likely to have that information permanently stick that way.

Do you have any pets and are they cuddly? Cookie is a TOTAL cuddlebug, like all she wants is to be with/on a person, and Roman is also very cuddly, especially if he's tired and wants to sleep. There are occasions where he wants to be left alone, though. Venus is a snake, but for a snake I still do consider her quite cuddly! Like the average ball python she likes to find a spot where she's comfortable and just chill, and that's often against me or even inside my shirt, lol. She definitely proves again and again that she trusts me.

Do you like the smell of coffee? Despite hating the taste of it, coffee is very, very high on my list of favorite smells.

If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? Probably surprisingly, I honestly don't. There's a shitload on deviantART that are absolutely contenders, though. Jovana Rikalo/thefirebomb on dA might be the queen actually, her account name always sticks with me because I just find her art so impressive. There's another female photographer on there who is very popular for portraiture with live, sometimes even ordinarily dangerous animals (I should mention that these animals are all handled/owned morally for various reasons) that are simply stunning and have such a fairytale vibe. I managed to find her via Google, if anyone's interested: Anastasiya Dobrovolskaya. Incredibly talented.

How did you choose your particular Bzoink icon? I don't have a Bzoink and never have.

When you see a good-looking girl in skimpy clothing, what is your initial thought? I wish I had her confidence and probably her body too, haha. People can dress however the hell they want, and if that's in a way that shows more of the body they're proud of having? That's wonderful for them.

How many cars does your household own? One.

Do you know anyone named Edward or any nickname of that? I don't think so.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

0 notes

amythystraine · 2 years

Text

Six Things Wrong With Social Sites

1. You find a site that looks promising and interesting, something maybe right down your alley. You go through the sign up form carefully filling in all the blanks. You pick out a profile photo. You run a typing marathon figuring out answers to questions like..."What's the basic premise of your spirituality?"...or "Tell us in detail All About You!"...or "Fill in the details of this very important box, or you won't get your foot through the frickin' door."...etc. You get all primed and ready to set up your own page after spending 20 minutes to a half hour filling things out (not too mention maybe an hour of time it took just to find this particular site, or the extra half hour that went into dealing with technical glitches), and then, once you click the "Join" button, a page pops up that says something to the effect, "Sorry chump, you have to be approved before you can join this site, so sit back and get comfortable, this may take a while, or you might never hear from us again."

2. There's a big warning sign posted on the home page: You must participate if you want to be a member of this site. Anyone who doesn't add something during a specific time span (every two weeks, or every week, or once a month, or once every five days, etc. etc.) will be deleted.

Okay, okay, okay. If people don't add content and interact, it won't be a social site. I get that. But this is not realistic for me, my work-weary brain says. Are they frickin' kidding me?? I just want to read blogs, or I want to post some of my stuff (very) occasionally, or I want to see what other people are into, or what someone else thinks about this or that. And I love it when they actually have a box on the fill-out form where you have to "click HERE as a promise you will post on a regular basis".

This seems like too much commitment and too much work to me. I'm sorry, but the microscopic particle of internet space you have created is not the center of my universe. I don't promise anything, not even to people in real life, in the real world. Get real.

3. Social Sites, just like the real world, are full of Creepers. Sad but true, but on the internet social site, Creepers can hide the fact that they're creepers for a longer period of time than they might be able to in the real world. And Creepers hate being called out when you spot them and aim a finger at them and call 'em as you see 'em. "What, what are you talking about?" they stutter.

4. You join a site, decide for whatever reason that you don't like it, or it's just not for you, and then discover that deleting your page and information is not an option, or is such a twisted garbled (maybe deliberately confusing) process, that your page is left tacked to a weary crappy site like an old sticky note on the bathroom mirror.

5. Everyone ignores you, or they communicate only by leaving images in your comment box. Um, this is a Social Site. We're suppose to T-A-L-K to each other. And for me, this does not mean that you leave an occasional meme in the comment box. I think people resort to leaving images just so they don't have to actually COMMUNICATE with each other. I would rather see a single sentence, even something like, "My cat died today, and I got a parking ticket. It was a rough day.", rather than one of a gazillion generic images found on the internet. At least this single sentence TELLS me something about this person!

I don't leave comments. It is a huge waste of time. If I have something to actually SAY to you, I'll do that, but life is too short to spend it leaving multiple images on multiple pages of multiple strangers.

6. A site won't let you see what it's like, or browse it's content, before you join. How in the hell are you suppose to know if you even want to be a member if you can't see anything first?? Give me a break.

#crustyoldlady #socialsites #internetsocialization

0 notes

mothbeasts · 2 years

Text

Man. School.

#bee's buzzing #apparently my politics grade dropped under 50 over the weekend when theres like no reason it Should have #so that means i cant get an extension. im done. ive failed it. thats it.#and my head hurts and my dad tried to guilt me with 'do you really wanna waste all that effort what was the point of me helping' stuff #im not even home yet. im in an airport. my vacation literally just ended.#just! like! mmmgr.i dont even care if i fail at this point im so tired.#I just cant wait to finally get. a break. where i don't feel guilty for forgetting ti do things.#my dad was like 'you cant have a repeat of this next semester got it' but like!!! it's not my fault!!#im experiencing symptoms and im trying as hard as i can to manage them and my parents. make me feel bad about it.#like the time just before the trip when my dad helped me get my grades up by doing my work for me and my mom was like #'you owe him' in the most stern voice she does. like while i was laying on my bed in the middle of a breakdown #i cant wait to move out I really cant. so excited for when i can finally Do That.#soon as im able to. im moving up to wisconsin. idk what ill do but. somehow ill make it happen #either by going to college at UW madison like I want and doing dorms there. or like uhh. idk I'll get an apartment.#find a job. i dont even care what at this point!! just Something. Anything. like id need to make more plans than that but.#i have a while to wait anyway. like 2 years.#i just wanna be. free. and independent. and not living with my parents #not when i cant figure out if they really care about me or not! its messing with me a little!#mmmgh. i just wanna nap. might do that when I get home.#i know realistically when I get home I'll have stuff to do. but whatever. don't care anymore.

2 notes · View notes

bluecadash · 3 years

Text

OC Interview: Runa Cadash

Much love to @fade-and-loathing-in-thedas @dungeons-and-dragon-age @emerald-amidst-gold @oxygenforthewicked and @noire-pandora for the tags 💙💙💙

tagging: @varric-tethras-editor @rosenkow @notebooks-and-laptops @razumairon @kumaronoa @the-dreadful-canine @1000generations @rozhevisny @fernaee @little-lightning-lavellan @dreadfutures and everyone who wants to do this! No pressure or obligation 🌻

Introduction

Can you introduce yourself? Huh? I mean... sure? It's not like we're doing this interview because you know who I am. Alright. My name is Runa. I'm a surfacer who somehow ended up being Inquisitor. *mumbling* Please don't address me by that title.

What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status? Why would that interest you?

Where and when were you born? In the Free Marches twenty-something years ago.

What is your weapon of choice and fighting style? Daggers and close combat. I like to end my fights as quickly as possible. Some people might call it dirty, but it's not my fault that they just keep loosing.

Lastly, are you happy? Well, I'm not completely unhappy. Things could be better, and they could be much worse. Josi- I mean, Ambassador Montilyet makes everything a lot easier for me. *smiles softly*

Family and Friends

What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them? Big, loud, pretentious. Haven't seen or spoken to them in ages. My brother sends me a letter sometimes though.

Have you ever ran away from home? Yes. Doesn't everyone?

Would you consider marriage or having children? Ehhhhhhhhhhh... *blushes heavily*

Do you secretly hate one of your friends? What? No! Is that an Orlesian thing? Why would I be friends with someone I hate? Just sounds tiresome

Which friend knows everything about you? There isn't much I'm hiding about myself. So I think they pretty much all do.

Asked by Fans

Are you literate? Have you been to school? My grandmother taught me how to read and some other stuff, but I never went to school or anything. Are there even schools for surfacers?

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true? I don't think any of my predictions ever came true. Oh no wait! I said blue hair would look good on me and I was right.

What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize? I only recently found out that ponies are not just baby horses.

Do you have mental health or physical issues? What? I don't...I don't think so? And it also shouldn't be your concern.

What is your current main goal? Ehmm... that would be finishing this interview.

Choices

Drink or food? Well, I like my drinks better with food and my food better with drinks. So I don't know. Just whatever.

Cats or dogs? Nugs. But if I really had to choose between those two, then I'd go with dogs. Though cats are cute as well.

Optimist or pessimist? Realist with optimistic tendencies. I think.

Sassy or sarcastic? I'll leave that up to you. Or you can go and ask Seeker Pentaghast.

Have You Ever

Been caught sneaking out? Pfff. Of course not.

Broken a bone? Yes. On several occasions.

Received flowers? *clears throat* Not that I remember. *looks away*

Ghosted someone? Yes. My parents. Or did they ghost me first? Sometimes it's difficult to remember these things.

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get? No. If I don't get the joke, I'm just too confused to bother pretending to laugh.

Blank

Family and Friends

What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Have you ever ran away from home?

Would you consider marriage or having children?

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

Which friend knows everything about you?

Asked by Fans

Are you literate? Have you been to school?

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

Do you have mental health or physical issues?

What is your current main goal?

Choices

Drink or food?

Cats or dogs?

Optimist or pessimist?

Sassy or sarcastic?

Have You Ever

Been caught sneaking out?

Broken a bone?

Received flowers?

Ghosted someone?

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

#thank you for the tag 🖤#this was fun :3 #oc: runa cadash #oc interview

30 notes · View notes

captain-aralias · 1 year

Text

My Year in Review (but i cut the giant gif)

summary is - my top posts this year are recs, discord links .... and a pregnancy announcement!

I posted 1,105 times in 2022

165 posts created (15%)

940 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@facewithoutheart

@cutestkilla

@artsyunderstudy

@letraspal

@forabeatofadrum

I tagged 908 of my posts in 2022

Only 18% of my posts had no tags

#carry on - 700 posts

#carry on fanart - 277 posts

#fic rec - 235 posts

#my content - 177 posts

#unintended - 38 posts

#snowbaz - 36 posts

#restoration ecology - 31 posts

#simon snow series - 22 posts

#doctor who - 16 posts

#sort of - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#the ones i'm disappointed with didn't quite sell the premise or i had to write them too hurriedly or forgot to bring something in

I sent 3 gifts in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

life update

i'm 14-weeks pregnant 🎉

due date: 30th may

bit more info below the cut

how:

IVF - worked first time

my partner's egg

happy to answer questions about any of the above, if you're interested. thinking of writing a blog about it in my work persona.

how am i?

fine apart from the anxiety!

my main symptoms have been exhaustion, leading to very little writing, and some nausea but pretty weaksauce compared to some

i've told most people at work, which is a very supportive environment, so all good.

how is baby?

probably ok! we've seen them on several scans, definitely have two arms, two legs, brain, etc

why am i putting this on the internet?

a few reasons.

firstly - i would've told livejournal. the same thing happened when my mum died - i wanted to tell the online community i'm part of, the same way i've told friends and people from work.

but also - because i've been saying i've been tired and that i'm not writing on here, and i wanted everyone to know... this is why. i'm not sick! i'm just pregnant.

anyway!

that's the news.

it may all still go wrong, obviously. we haven't done all the tests, still six months to go.

i'll update with these same tags, if we lose the baby for whatever reason, and i'll update if we don't!

98 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

Some 'Carry On' Recommendations for your Tuesday

here's some things i've been reading recently that i think other people should read too! thanks for tagging me @messofthejess!

N.B. this list is super long and also only scratching the surface... i should rec more often, anyway - if you see this, please read some of the things as you will really like them, and give the authors some love!

Teen or under

The Plum Tree by @otherpeoplesheartachept-2, under 1k

baz and malcolm talk (without exactly talking) about how baz is a vampire. great characterisation, really nice contained and different piece.

Eight Times Simon Couldn’t Stop Himself by knightinbrightfeathers, RainyForecast, steadfastasthouart (steadfastest) - 12k

just realised this has three authors! really brilliant fic, fangirl-era - but super worth reading, as long as you're ok with simon being smart, and also knowing he's into boys before he kisses baz. (why wouldn't you be?). this is all about simon and baz pranking each other/being generally awful, until they aren't - you see their relationship changing and simon gradually realising what he feels about baz, then there's a telepathy scene! this was recced recently in the discord* so probably lots of people have now read it, but it's seriously good!

Golden Boy by @spockzilla, 9k

magickal mishap, simon turns everything to gold by mistake! this author (also responsible for the fic where simon turns into a frog) is really good at making the silliest things sexy, and sexy things silly - which is a good thing.

end to begin by @tea-brigade, 4k

canon AU, simon and baz are exes, but simon needs baz's help..... really lovely, unusual, interesting and moving fic! i really like how it uses this inciting incident to let baz be kind (that's for me, the most important thing about them being together) and encourage the two of them to have the conversation they should have had a long time ago. works so well.

Trapped by @you-remind-me-of-the-babe based on art by taken_aback_by_Tuesdays,

penny/shepard get together, no snowbaz involved! this fic is criminally unread, because ... it's not snowbaz, but it is BRILLIANT. amazing penny and shepard characterisation, and it's so fun to see them get together a different way... that also involves her saving him.

Explicit

This Will All Go Down In Flames by @facewithoutheart with art by @tea-brigade, 11/17 chapters, 40k, WIP (no sex yet, RIP)

obsessed with this fic right now! band AU where simon and baz briefly bacame friends at school, then became incredibly successful musicians before the band broke up... because simon and baz couldn't communicate about how they fancied each other. it's great! fun, funny, social media stuff, a malcolm trying to be down with the kids, texas references, shepard being a reporter - highly recommend.

Crosse My Heart by @creepyspice with art by @cutestkilla, 5k, brobelove not snowbaz

omg, this fic is so good. seriously - even if you dont think you're into brobelove, you should read this, as i dont believe you could like snowbaz if you don't like the competitive snarky action this fic has in spades, but also if you like brobelove, my god you should read this! such amazing characterisation and super sexy.

Here in the Dark by @artsyunderstudy, 5k

love this middle of the night sex - i'm repeating my comment here, but the whole mood is perfect: confused and dreamlike, you're locked out of baz's POV, entirely in simon's and it works so well for the mood. plus, it's sexy AND there's amazing art to go with it.

Two Heads Are Better Than One by @skeedelvee, 22k

omg, i am obsessed with this fic. it's so deeply strange (simon and baz share the same body, due to - magickal mishap!) AND SO AMAZING AND SEXY. and also romantic and fun. proper enemies to to friends to lovers action, a fantastic scene where simon and baz watch baz's vanilla porn, a bit where they defeat a unicorn together, sex as one person, sex as two people - it's got it all.

*if you're not in this discord, but you'd like to be, this is the link to get in: https://discord.gg/FJ8meVhr

that's enough - i've got more i should rec, but i'll do another post later.

101 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

Thought it was time to bring this back.

Discord is a chat room. This is a chat room about Carry On, etc.

Not the only one, but one of the biggest (there are 200+ members). The Discord has:

a strong, active moderator team, who make sure this is a safe space (not me, I’m just a helper)

adult-only areas, and a policy that NSFW stuff is not shared outside of these spaces

places to talk about and share fic, art, meta, fan theories, memes, etc

virtual outings, like fic readings

custom emojis

It’s very nice.

This link will get you in: https://discord.gg/8yZvQK7k

(it expires in 7 days, so 6th May 2022, but feel free to message me if you see this post and the link’s expired)

You will have to introduce yourself before you’re given access to the server proper, although you don’t have to talk after that, if you don’t want to. You can just quietly vibe. Alternately, you can talk a lot and that’s fine too!

You will also have to sign up to the code of conduct.

If you have trouble getting in/speaking once you’re in, it could be because you haven’t verified your Discord account. There’s a clear prompt on desktop, but not on mobile.

I can confirm I checked with the mod team before making this post. It’s kosher.

Please share this post, if you want to.

108 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

AU - Canon Divergence Recs

i couldn't think of a good title for this, but basically there have been a few fics recently where i thought: not only is this a great fic, but also this is something i think we could see more in other fics.

basically, they all do a thing that is a good tool to make new fics with. and they're all good fun. here we go:

Eighth Year AU but with Mage-mission

Shiver (rated E) by @facewithoutheart and, yeah, ok me - but not really

for me, an eighth year fic should be about baz being gone/the coffin, magic sharing (with simon and baz much more likely, therefore to be interested in each other quicker), or the plot events of carry on - this one does that. BUT ALSO the plot is driven by simon going on a quest for the mage, which is a classic seventh year trope. cool! (and not my idea)

Post Watford Get Together with Magickal Mishap

Come As You Are (rated E) by @facewithoutheart who sponsored this video

how genius is this? they've left watford, so they've both moved on but magickal mishap happens to simon and that's the plot instigator. simple, but genius.

Genuine new past for Simon and Baz, makes them the same but different

I Know What You Are (rated T) by @martsonmars

ok, other fics have done this too, but i really like this fic and i think the way it does this thing is perfect. simon's grown up with the mage and lucy as his parents; baz has been raised by natasha and malcolm. as a result, when we meet them in eighth year they have completely different histories. it's not only the way they interact with each other that's different, they're both much more confident, have different friends. they really are different people, but the same.

Carry On universe but no Watford

Pretty in Pink (rated T) by @arca9

i was re-reading this one (fake dating heist, love it!) the other day and thinking - this is pretty unique! baz and simon work for the coven, but only just met each other when they became partners, there's no watford. but they use the magic system - it's just a really fun view on what's necessary for your AU to work.

112 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Top 10 SnowBaz fics

I was talking earlier about how 'What's Left' is one of my top 10, which it is. obviously that made me think.... what are the rest?

i think it's probably instinctively these, these ones that influence me the most/that i've re-read the most/that i most wish i could have written, although i had to delete some real favs to get down to 10, and limited myself to one fic per author. and excluded 'your bloodied mouth' as it ain't finished, but kept 'northern downpour' as i believe it will be.

almost all canon divergence, most have plot and sex.

5 Times They Half-Arsed It by @krisrix

Bound and Determined by @fatalfangirl

Golden Years by @basic-banshee

keep on keeping on by waveydnp

In A Bind by @im-gettingby

Northern Downpour by @scone-lover

Remember the Magic by @sharkmartini

There'll Be Peace When You Are Done by somekindofpath

What's Left by @cutestkilla

When the Bells Ring by @phoxphyre

360 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #carry on #fic rec #personal #aralias's baby #pregnancy #i realised replying to comments on this post that i tried not to tag people into my actual post #becuase i didnt want to force anyone to have to read my personal stuff #and this post tags SO MANY PEOPLE #because it's full of recs #hey ho #sorry about that!

47 notes · View notes

haleigh-sloth · 2 years

Note

Not BNHA related at all but what is it like living in Texas and is it as bad as everyone claims?

Please watch this legitimate NEWS REPORT that aired last year in MAY(mid-pandemic) from one of the local news channels. This is what it's like. Lmao. Seriously watch it if you want a good laugh, and to feel crushing disappointment.

Okay no, that's just South East Texas, which is just a whole nightmare of its own. It's where I grew up and finally moved away from this year, and I'm never going back lol.

The short answer is: there are pros and cons. A lot of these depend on where you live though, which I'll elaborate at the end. I'll try to keep it short because I could honestly go on forever on the cons lol. Also, I am very biased. I was born and raised here and would like a change of scenery. My opinion won't be the same as others from different areas.

Cons:

Relevant to current events: COVID is basically over. I mean, it's NOT. But Texas (and the rest of the fucking south from what I saw on my vacation last week) doesn't give a single fuck.

It's Republican hell

There are STILL Trump 2020 flags flying proudly here

There are lots of CONFEDERATE flags flying proudly here--it's like, almost normal to see

Blatant racism is just expected at this point

The education system is garbage

The child welfare system is COMPLETE garbage (I know this from experience)

They have basically almost effectively banned abortion twice now (that I know of in my life time), only for it to backfire on them later. But they will try again, and again, and again.

The social services and mental health services SUCK

It's hot. as. FUCK. If you're living on the coast it's hot AND humid AS FUCK

The gun laws are just.....non existent. Guns are a polarizing topic but I feel like everyone with common sense should agree that not everyone should be able to just walk around with a gun strapped to their person for everyone to see.

THIS^^^^^ was a picture I took at the beach in October.

Okay--I've listed *some* of the many shitty things about this state, but I'll list the good stuff too. The things that have kept my family here, and the things that bring a lot of people from other states here. I keep meeting more and more people who have moved here from elsewhere and their reasons are always the same, but I can't imagine actually wanting to live here...lol

Pros:

It's pretty low cost of living. I don't think it's technically the cheapest, but jesus christ when I started looking up north in the east AND west coasts, I was uhhhh not excited about those rent prices. Jeez.

Texas is big. There is a lot of space, which means it's way more realistic for people down here to be able to buy a house. Lots of my high school classmates have bought homes already. I've also just met a ridiculous amount of people from other states who moved here specifically for the low cost of living and being able to house their families in adequate spaces at not-asinine prices.

Lots and lots of land to buy and become the farmer you've always wanted to be lmao

Texas is tax friendly. Meaning, there is no state income tax. Less money out of your paycheck. I didn't even know state income tax was a thing until I started looking to move. I was baffled.

Having the coastline means cheaper gas. I was shocked at the gas prices in Colorado when I visited....RIP

Again, Texas is HUGE. Which means one part of Texas looks completely different from the other. There are beaches in the south if you want to live by the ocean, piney woods in the east with some hills, flat land in the north, the hill country is smack dab in the middle, the desert is in the middle-west/north-west, and then in very very western tip is the mountains (where ideally I'd like to go if I do decide to stay here for whatever reason).

So, is it bad? Well I'm tired of living here. But while I'm dying to get out, my parents have no intention of leaving ever. They want to go to a different part of the state they're in right now, but they don't want to leave the state. A lot of my high school classmates don't plan on leaving either. Which, they're young so....idk. I couldn't imagine being pigeonholed here forever.

Also I said I'd elaborate---growing up in, say, Austin (the capital, which is surprisingly the most liberal city in the state) is way different than growing up in like, any small town just on the outskirts. The big cities such as Houston, Austin, San Antonio, and Dallas are going to be more open minded in general and the in-your-face republican crazy bullshit is....way less prominent. But once you get to the outskirts of those big cities, it's back to hell.

Anyway, this is my personal experience that spans over 20 years (4 years of my life were in Cali lol). It's good and bad. There are things here that I definitely take for granted and didn't realize until I decided I wanted to live elsewhere. The space, the price to rent decent sized living spaces is....the biggest factor imo.

#tw gun violence #tw guns #personal

7 notes · View notes

lordeasriel · 3 years

Text

ATTWN: A Look at Miss Brent

I keep circling around the idea of writing And Then There Were None meta, like a full, proper analysis of the novel, but I just can't settle down on how to do it, cause I do have many thoughts, but I can't seem to organise them in a way it will make sense. But-

I was thinking about Miss Brent today, and she's not exactly a character I have that many thoughts compared to Vera or Armstrong, but she certainly has my interest. What strikes me stronger about her is her complacency, in a way.

Let's look at the novel first: here's this sixty-something woman, a spinster who takes on girls from local charities/orphanages to train them into proper maids or whatever. It's not an unusual thing for that time based on the rest of Christie's novels, it seemed like a common occurrence for the period. At any rate, she's very righteous, uptight, her belief is almost borderline fanatical, she never hesitates over her "innocence" in front of the accusations, and the thing is: she doesn't deny shunning the girl away.

Unlike the others, who remain resilient on their innocence (Lombard the exception cause he literally confessed right away), Miss Brent never denies that she did refuse to help Beatrice. In her own mind, she didn't do anything wrong - and if we're going there, in its fucked up way, she technically didn't do anything wrong. She had no familial attachment to the girl, she didn't have to do anything for her legally speaking; morally, of course, she should have but we don't arrest people for being morally corrupt lmao Let alone death sentence them. *coughs*

But what gets me it's her complacency. You know, I'm blaming this on the windy day, but thinking about her, sitting by herself almost all the time (including when she died), she never does anything. Unlike the others, Vera included considering how Christie often writes the women isolated, Miss Brent never gets involved in either investigating or helping them to find a way out; she just sits and knits and eventually bosses Vera around or say some mean stuff to someone. She doesn't act, which is odd for us as a reader; I mean, if I was in her spot I would have already made a signal for help, even with the bad weather lmao This book heavily traumatised me anyway--

Miss Brent doesn't act, that's my main point. In her head, I suppose she expects some sort of divine intervention, in its way; not a miracle, but you know, she expected her righteousness guaranteed her safety. She sees the other deaths as punishment, she thinks them all guilty, perhaps not the General or Wargrave, but I've no doubt she considers the rest of them wicked and deserving of the punishment, but never herself. She didn't do anything wrong, she has got nothing to feel sorry for. There is a whole section, where Vera asks Miss Brent if she is not afraid or if she simply doesn't mind dying. To which she reacts exactly like I said before, like she was above them all, like death wouldn't come for her.

Now, I will just vaguely go over the show because I think their choice of handling her was an interesting one. I like most of the choices made by show, except the ending which I'll save for another day of ranting, but Miss Brent in the show behaves similarly, but her background gets deeper. For one there was two key things - I say two because I've seen two different interpretations of this - and they were 1) repressed lesbian and 2) predator. Now, these two could coexist with each other, she could have been taking in girls to take advantage of them, but I don't know, I think it would be hard for her to do that always, so I like to think if repressed lesbian was it, then it makes more sense for her crime and her reaction. It would be related to a feeling of betrayal - "I've given you a home, a job, affection and you still went behind my back to be a whore" - and it's something Miss Brent would probably not acknowledge. She was always too religious, too righteous, so Beatrice probably haunted her more in death than she did in life: no one would believe this ragged girl over any accusations - even if there was consent on her part. But that's just beside the point.

What I mean for the show is, they go in a different direction. Miss Brent's reactions over the murders are a little more in line with her religious dynamic for the show: when Tony dies, she makes a little prayer, she worries about Mrs. Rogers state when she sees her passed out (despite the fact she humiliated her earlier over being meek and weak and so on), she has a judgemental attitude towards Vera, but even that comes from a place of almost understanding? She still judges them harshly, but she is a lot less harsh to the ones she consider less harmful (aka she is absolutely distasteful about Lombard, whose crime is easily the worst crime in the show and she thinks so).

Of course, all of her views and beliefs and behaviours are based on her own lifestyle, so she is a bit blind and biased - when Lombard points out about the missionaries crimes in Africa, after she calls him out; or when she states she couldn't imagine crossing paths with a man like him, despite the fact she knows well enough they're all there because they're guilty - so she is bound to hypocrisy every now and again. But her fanaticism from the book is turned into a proper, religious attitude; she does abide by the Bible, she condemns very little her other companions (I mean, she still judges Vera over her youth and her inertia, she judges Armstrong's lack of calm, she judges Lombard because well, because of his Existence™ lmao) She is, of course, judgmental and vain and arrogant, but this is less cartoony and more realistic. More importantly, because her beliefs are much more ingrained in her life, she is afraid. She is genuinely afraid and that is an important, key change that I genuinely like.

Miss Brent has faith, at first, that they will leave the Island, so she stills acts very coldly at first and of course, she still denies her guilt, she still claims she did the right thing and Beatrice caused her own undoing. But, the show pursues the idea that Miss Brent, upon being reminded of the event, starts to feel guilt: when she is praying she hallucinates Beatrice (hallucionation was a choice they did to convey these feelings, but you could just claim that's a memory in her head); and more importantly, before her death - which happens the day after she hallucinates - her demeanor changes entirely. She goes from trying to stay calm and resolute before the tide, to feeling weary. That's important because unlike Book! Emily, she is fully aware she has committed a sin, and now whether that is her neglect of Beatrice's pleas or her own feelings for her, that's beside the point. The point is this woman realises she is very close to meet her maker and the burden of having sinned wears her down.

Miss Brent also adds "It's only wool" when Vera is pouring her coffee (which I had to crop cause Gif size), which is her redirecting her distress to something mundane (in another scene later, Vera mentions how doing the dishes is a mundane task, which she finds soothing. In fact, seeking a sense of normalcy is a recurring theme for the show, but also for the book) and ordinary. Vera, of course, notices her distress over being hunted; she shares the feeling, and I don't want to focus too much on Vera because I'll talk about her eventually later, but this shows how Miss Brent changes drastically.

On their first conversation after the dinner, Vera's impression of Miss Brent is of an uptight, self-righteous, straight-up cruel woman and she avoids her if she can help it, and truth be told, Miss Brent does act very badly and says bad things, Vera is not being touchy about it. So when Vera lays the coffee tray, she is ready to walk away before Miss Brent addresses her (she even makes a dry remark on "There is no milk, I'm afraid", which is meant to spite Miss Brent's earlier attitude over asking for perfect eggs after Mrs Rogers died and so on), and Miss Brent talks so unlike herself, a weariness that makes Vera reconsider and come back, to pour her coffee. She feels sorry for Miss Brent, because she finally cracked like the others; Miss Brent knows now that no amount of faith might defend her from this killer, because this killer has got nothing to do with a justice kill.

She stays seated, knitting again, but when she reaches for the coffee she hesitates. She realises Vera could have poisoned it (before entering the room, since she watches Vera pouring the coffee), and then she puts it down. There is a sense of danger in her, and she has no desire to die, unlike in the book where she so casually just stays behind, unafraid in her own attitude of superiority. I like this change a lot; I think showing her fear before her God enhances her religious mania a lot more, because she truly fears Divine Judgement, because she understands, deep down, that she did a bad thing; maybe not murder - I mean, it wasn't murder after all - but she still did a morally bad thing. If there is a Heaven, it won't be for her.

#and then there were none #emily brent #attwn meta #this is my tag for it from now on i'll keep it separate from hdm

25 notes · View notes

fakeloveaskblog · 3 years

Note

Okay Remy, I am going to resend that previous message I sent you, just so you have it so you can reread it if you perchance wanted to do that. Don't worry, you didn't accidentally delete it, someone else purposefully did. Also, no… you weren't left with the true things, that's just learned cognitive distortions speaking; I'm sure if you asked Jan or Rem if they thought those things about you, they would set you straight right away. I'll also put a silent alarm on your phone that'll go off the next time Remus is near you, though only if you let me. Would that help?

(Tw: Vague implications of past abuse)

Remy: "Set me straight? dfhjd who are you? my dad? Jk jk. I know what you mean. I don't know what cognition distractions or whatever mean 'cause I'm tots an idiot. Like girl the only reason I didn't fail all of highschool was 'cause Virge did just enough of my work for me. You don't gotta tell me what it means btw. I can like look it up. I may not have a brain but I do have google. and uh yeah that helps. thanks. I'm gonna go reread the message now"

A few days later, in the middle of the day, the Rems were sitting on the sidewalk behind a starbucks. There were so many people inside the cafe Remus had nearly gotten a sensory overload while ordering the 4 cupcakes and 2 sandwiches he was smashing down into his slippery gullet. Remy had just taken a black coffee.

The alarm had gone off a while ago but they didn't know how to ask him about it. He looked tense. He sat in an unnatural pose that made it easy to get up and run away. His shoulders were raised and brows just a bit furrowed. Maybe they could-

"Oh!!! Bean bitch do you wanna see what I've been drawing lately???" Remus suddenly exclaimed, crumbs of sandwich flew out of his mouth.

"Sure babe"

He had a big grin on his lips as he took out his sketchbook and flipped through it "Alright so you remember how I did some anatomy practice of you when we watched lesbian vampire movies yes? Well I kinda continued with those"

The first few drawings were realistic sketches of Remy's face from a few different angles but on the next page he'd used his cartoony style to make them into a supernatural being. One drawing showed them with 8 eyes. One with nothing but gorey eye sockets left. One with spiders crawling out of their eyes and mouth.

Remus rocked back and forth slightly "Sorry. Is it weird? I just thought it would be cool if there were some character who looked nromal but was hiding something under their sunglasses. I dunno. Maybe it's stu-"

"No. No. Babe I think it's like tots cool! You made me look like super chic. Blood is totally in right now!!"

He shone up into a bright smile "Thanks!" There was slight blushing on his cheeks.

"I think I would look cool with some teeth in my eyes just saying"

"OOOOh!! Maybe even fangs?!"

"You got it babe!"

He took out a pen and immediately started to sketch it out. Remy was just happy getting to watch him draw.

Until a notification sound came from Remus' phone. He flinched before quickly checking it and immediately setting it down again. He somehow tensed up more.

Remy took a deep breathe. They could do this. They could talk about emotional stuff.

"You good babe? I mean like at any time? 'Cause you look tense like a lot- I uh I'm not like asking why. You don't gotta tell me shit. just like wondering if you're like okay"

"You're one to talk. you walk around looking like you got a stick up your butt 24/7........Do you??....kinky"

"Not yet"

"Me neither"

They both went quiet. Remus fiddled with the ring he still had on his finger. Remy scratched at their neck.

"I...I just feel paranoid....all the time...My intrusive thoughts never shut up about how every interaction I have with other peple could end in the worst ways. Even right now" Remus muttered out after a while.

"I get that. I mean I" They forced a chuckle "Every single time my boyfriend raises his hand, just to like take a plate or something, my thoughts still scream at me that he's gonna hit me. He never does. I know he won't. But my body and thoughts still act like he will. It happens with every person. I've been sure Janus was going to slap me"

Remus looked up at them. His eyes suddenly looked so so desperate "I dosen't get better?" He asked, his voice sounded like it was close to breaking "The paranoia will Always be there?"

"What? No! No no no. of course not babe. I'm just completely fucked up y'know. Like all of my argument with my boyfriend ends with either me having like a panic attack or us fucking" They laughed "Like an overemotional crybaby y'know. But you're- You'll be fine- I'm sure- You're not- I'm just-"

Remus pulled his knees up to his chest and leaned his chin against his knees. "I think you can be fine too" He mumbled out.

"I don't- I- I dunno- It's like it's so clear I was like supposed to die at specific moments...and then I just....didn't....and now I'm just like still here even though I'm not supposed to...I'm just like a rotting corpse dragging everyone else down. I-I don't know how to be fine if my thoughts are still sure I'm going to die every single day"

Remus shrugged "I think rotting corpses are pretty cool"

It was so out of left field Remy let up into a laugh. "Jesus fuck you stupid necrophile" They hid their face in their hands "Babe I'm sorry. I'm tots rambling. I was asking if you were okay, not if you wanted to like hear me be a stupid bitch"

"It's okay. I think being able to be a stupid bitch is kinda cool too. I can't even try to vent without shutting down...I feel kind of like I'm rotting as well"

(It felt like he'd left his skin in his old apartement. To be honest it felt like his entire being had been scrapped out of him just to be left behind)

"Wow babe. Is there something you don't think is cool?"

He thought for a moment "Soap. It's icky and gets everywhere"

"Sound argument"

Remus slowly moved his head to lean it against their shoulder. He could feel their chest rise to take a shuddering breathe and lower again.

"Have you ever thought I would?" Remus quietly asked.

"Yeah" They admitted "I know you wouldn't"

"I know. I've been paranoid about you too"

"It's okay"

"I've willingly been to your apartment. That's a lot" Remus pointed out "I haven't been to Jan's apartement"

"We should break into his place in the middle of the night" Remy replied in a fake serious tone.

"Oh yeah. It's a must. How else do you know you're friends? We should bring matching friendship knives as well!"

Remy chuckled "You can design them. And my teeth eye design! That's like tots important! My true destiny is to be a monster milf y'know. The lesbians would love me"

"Ayyay captain! I'll get right on that! Remus: milf maker"

They let out an audible keysmash "Babe that's my porn name now. Milf maker! Cougar collector! Homewrecker hoobyist!!"

"Yay grammar!!"

Remy got up and held out their hand to help him up. "Aight babe, I better head home. And you better get yourself a hot bath. You sure are smelling like a rotten corpse"

"Oh don't worry. I have a demon who sends me gifts, including bathing gifts"

Remy blinked at him "Huh" They moved their arm around his shoulders and started to walk towards the busstop "Tell me all about it. Is it a hot demon?"

#this got longer than it was supposed to #its close to 4 am #thanks for the ask tho #ask #remy sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides #resleep #rem^2

7 notes · View notes

undergrounddweller89 · 3 years

Text

NOTE : THIS IS A SPIES IN DISGUISE AU, WALTER IS THE CRIMINAL MASTER MIND AND KILLIAN IS THE SCIENTIST

THIS DEFINITELY CONTAINS SEXY TIMES

Not well written though probably and I tend to rarely go through my work to look for mistakes.

Despite Killian being kidnapped and handcuffed EVERY THING IS CONSENSUAL... Tristan is crazy obsessed with Beckett so he's very happy.

Now you've had your warning you read this instead of scrolling past that's on you, lemon is a tag used for stuff like this but if you feel like there are other tags I need to use please do tell me!)

The bag was stuffy, head phones covered his ears, they'd knocked off his glasses in their struggle to capture him, he could barely see without them.

Now his hands were cuffed behind his back, a hand on each upper arm, honestly Tristan was terrified, the car ride seemed a life time, though realistically it was only ten to fifteen minutes long.

He'd pleaded saying he was a no body just a scientist the agency threw in the corner and that no one ever took him seriously.

He was hunched, trying to tuck his head into his shoulders, so this was how he was going to die.

He felt every bump of the car and turn, trying to map out where he was going but he didn't recognise this route, usually he rode every where on his bicycle, deep blue with a silver bell and a basket on the front to pick up dinner on his way home...

Home where he could research the Criminal Master mind Walter Beckett ...to a near unhealthy obsession...alright it was unhealthy when you imagined him pushing you back against the table parting your thighs, fucking you and making you look at him by holding your head with his clawed hand....

Fuck was he going to die thinking about Walter, a man who didn't even known he existed...well he had no one, nothing living to care about...he might as well think of someone who made him happy even if only in his fantasies before he died right.

He was pulled from the car where he tried kicking at his handlers, Tristan didn't get very far though as one of them punch his gut winding him, he was wheezing as he was taken out of the vehicle.

"You know he's gonna kill you for that right."

The first handler smacked the second on the back of the head

"Only if this limp dick tells him, he's too much of pussy to squeal."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, but Im not covering your ass."

He was dragged through the facility, Tristan refused to make it easy to carry him and went limp.

Both handlers groaned, fuck, great a difficult one, well the first wasn't going to risk hurting him into compliance and the second knew he was on thin ice, if that punch had bruised him their boss was literally going to kill him.

Other workers watched as they went by, another two carried Tristans legs who now tried to struggle again, what the hell was going on!

He was sat in a chair with ease, after all their boss was right there, the workers didn't dare handle him as if he were anything less than a handle with care package with fragile taped all over him.

"Well are you going to take that off him, it's a little hard for dramatic entrances when he can't even see me."

"Yes sir, right away."

The bag was pulled off swiftly with the headphones clattering to the floor.

Tristan squinted, everyone looked like blurs, he could see faces only as different coloured splodges, his hair sticking up in different angles, shoulders aching now, he still sat up right, heart racing

"Where are his glasses?"

Tristan turned to where he heard the man speak, it was cold, commanded respect...familiar but no it couldn't be...

"Sebastian, where are his glasses?"

"I ah, James you see knocked them off in the struggle and-"

A metal arm, supporting four claw digits at it's end clasped his face

"What did I tell you about people with glasses, remove them, keep them what Sebastian."

He had brought the man to his knees holding so tightly Sebastian could feel his skull on the verge of cracking, he let out a cry as he managed to finish the sentence

"Safe!"

"Oh good you can listen to orders, now James..."

He'd let go of Sebastian and beckoned over his other crew member, Tristan knew this voice but it couldn't be him, he must still be disorientated.

"James, what have I told you about harming what belongs to me."

He said softly, curling his his claws around James's tie, Sebastian stepped back, well he had warned his coworker and with a snap and flick of his wrist the tie had been pulled so hard and tight the man's neck had been snapped.

"He had trouble following orders, first few times is understandable, you're settling into this new life but after five years it should not be that hard."

Tristan wished he'd had his glasses because if this was Walter Beckett he would have just witnessed one of Becketts trade mark moves and yes maybe would have gushed like a fan boy.

He was going to pretend it was him until he could see at the least and imagine he was kidnapped by Thee Walter Beckett.

He listened to him calling in clean up crew and for someone to bring up the glasses, his shape coming in closer and closer, it had to be him, the silver blurred limb was on his left, the hair colour.

"Awww poor baby..."

The younger man cooed.

Tristan tried very hard not to lean into his touch when his hair was stroke back and felt the Claws against his scalp

"Don't worry now, my useless men have been dealt with, come on now look up at me."

He didn't exactly give Tristan a choice as he place a claw under his chin

"See, now Mr Mcford I know I have my fans, the ones who do their fanart, their fictions whatever you will, I keep an eye on anyone who searches my name out of curiosity..."

He tapped his nose

"You Mcford like clock work will watch videos that have only the briefest flash of me, pour over articles, fictions..."

He smirked tracing one long metal claw along his jaw

"Reader x Walter Beckett, but you got tired of them, skinny little me always being pinned, submissive, no, no you wrote your own, named yourself Killian, nice name by the way, where I owned you, laid you back and made sure you knew who you belonged to."

Tristan was red, he was so fucking red and wanted the bag back on his head

"But Im not here to embarrass you, you're actually a good writer and it was the first one I ever enjoyed myself to."

Tristan wanted to implode, die right there, hearing Beckett had fucking masturbated to his little story, he let out a whine then hung his head, trying to hide how much that effected him.

The crew came up and pulled the body from the room and handed Walter the item he'd requested

"Face me now, unless you prefer being half blind."

Beckett held his face with his human hand, finger tip tracing a cheek bone, my they were sharp weren't they, what a pretty scientist.

Placing the glasses on, small lights flickered then settled.

"They read your eyes and the lenses adjust to the prescription you need."

Walter explained now casually sitting on Mcford's lap, an arm around the back of his neck.

"I'll cut to the chase, as I said we check everyone who even so much as types my name out of curiosity and when I found out you were working for the agency that has reaaaally caused a lot of problems in my life I researched you."

Tristan was staring, no way did Walter not feel the protruding problem down below, you would literally have to be either dead or have no feeling in your body to not notice that, he was still, he listened to him, was he having a wet dream, it had to be a dream right?

"Besides my uh Internet history...what...what did you find out."

"Oh you know, that you're an under appreciated scientist who came up with designs so dangerous they had to lock them away...and I may have slightly stolen them, now while I could personally and am the only qualified person here to build such delicious technology...."

He slipped his hand under Tristans lab coat, slowly rubbing his palm against his chest and smirking at the shakey breath and the way Tristan adjusted his hips, oh he could certainly feel that reaction

"I have an evil empire to run...I need you Tristan, I want you..."

He leaned in closer, lips nearly at his.

Mcford whined, fuck he was close Walter hadn't even done anything but the raised brow and smirk on Becketts face told him he could feel him twitch and gasped as the hand that'd been on his chest traveled down a finger tip teasing the head of his cock through his pants.

"How do you feel about working for me Tristan, build your machines and what ever else comes to mind, I need someone as competent as myself..."

Walter kneaded him slowly, to the point the slow pace was painful, his mouth was open and another ragged breath left him, this had to be a wet dream a really, vivid wet dream, please don't let his alarm go off...he pressed against his neck, forehead on his shoulder as Walter stroked the back of his neck with metal Claws, cool against his flesh.

Even if he was awake, of course his answer was yes....

"We could even build something together, I'm sure you'd just love to see me work..."

Beckett leered.

Walter was so warm, he was here, touching him, fucking touching him, dragging it out and making him nearly beg and he loved it.

"Yes..."

Tristan panted, lifting his hips trying to get more friction, he still had his handcuffs on he couldn't reach out and touch the man he wanted, his wrists struggling instinctively to part.

"Look at me and say it, Tristan."

That purr went through Mcford's entire being, lifting his head whimpering, biting his lip, he loved the tease, feeling so close to the edge and having Walter deny him...he begged to some god out there that Walter would finish it at least, it was so intense, he knew his clothes were stained with precum, Beckett seemed to enjoy reminding him he knew it was there by playfully tapping a finger over the tip of his cock where the damp patch was.

"Yes...I'll work for you....I have mmmphn wanted to since I ahh first saw you... Oh my god..."

Walter smiled, watching him, listening to him, oh how blue his eyes looked when his cheeks were this flushed, absolutely gorgeous.

"Oh Tristan there is no god, only me and my loving hands."

He returned, unbuckling Tristans belt and reaching in, blushing a little himself as he watched Tristans eyes nearly roll up, his head falling forward.

Tristan watched as Walter finished him off how desperately he wanted to hold onto him, press fingers into his back, he couldn't remember the last time he came this fucking hard or if he'd ever...he was speechless...breathless and fuck he'd made a mess of them both.

He was putty in Walters hands, feeling a claw lift his head again, moaning softly still, his body was tingling all over

"Welcome to the team Killian."

Beckett said sweetly before leaning in and kissing him.

#lemon #Spies in disguise #Walter x Killian #Au

40 notes · View notes

thanakite · 3 years

Text

Furthermore about my sisters they made a big deal out of making sure to tell me multiple time to remember to bring down the rest of the Christmas stuff they got from our parents that wouldn't fit in their car when they were there on Sunday

And now to be clear, ever since I was at their place last week I was saying that this week was goto be a short visit, that I'd be leaving Thursday at the latest so I wouldn't have to worry about anything before therapy on Friday (which to be clear is in the morning so I really don't want to be at their place late or anything because I will have to get settled in at home before then) I reiterated this on Thanksgiving, on Sunday, and during the time since I got here on Tuesday

And today (after saying this yesterday day too and being blown off) I'm like yeah you gotta get that shit out of my car before I leave tomorrow so it's a good thing you were thinking you'd work on Christmas stuff tonight, and my older sister is like, "yeah no that's a job for my boyfriend" who is almost never around right now because he is working 2 jobs and I'm like, "yeah well this stuff isn't that heavy (our mom who is in her 60s and had a heart attack in April literally put in all in the car without my help except for one box that we just had to lift together into the car after she dragged it there by herself and she is overall much weaker than both my sisters) so we should do it tonight together because our parents are going to to be pissed otherwise and since I'm the one that lives with them I'll take the brunt of it" and they start going off about how that's on me, that I'm putting too much on them, that I shouldn't let our parents do that (I mean I don't really have a choice in the matter?!), that I didn't tell them this timetable (I did multiple times as stated above), and so on

So I'm like, "guys, I live with them, that is very different from you two seeing them for less than a day at a time," and they are still insuring it isn't happening (and to be clear the reason this is all a thing is because this is our CHILDHOOD Christmas stuff that our parents don't want lost, broken, or stolen or anything which is why my mom had to put it in my car in the first place, they wanted it in the garage until I was leaving so nothing would happen, so if I come back with it in my car not only will that mean it was in my car on the street for a few days which my mom didn't want in the first place, but then they will likely make me move it from the car back to the garage because I won't be back here for a bit) so I'm like, "cool so, that means I guess I'm going to have to bring them all in after we eat and it will probably cause a flare," because if I bring it in here then it's over and done but if I take it home I'll have to bring it in (and probably cause a flare) and then will have to bring it back out as well which will cause another flare, so that is the better option, and they immediately act like I'm being unreasonable and trying to guilt them into it and make them feel bad and I'm just here like, "look, I'm not guilting you into this, I'm telling you realistically how this is going to go" my younger sister just keeps saying I'm being unhealthy, that I'm putting too much on them, and on and on and on to make me the bad guy so I'll cave and let it go (which she does all the time) and then she starts being like, "we should go talk about this upstairs alone," and I'm like, "yeah that is not how it's going to go because you already aren't listening to me," and she starts say that she, "already knows my side and I'm not listening to her," and I'm like, "I am listening, you aren't listening to me," and keeps being a bitch

She eventually comes back downstairs after dipping for a minute and is like, "we'll talk later, can I have a hug?" And I'm like whatever and give her a hug, and we didn't end up talking later (which I'm fine with at this point because it's just round about talking where I try and explain my side, she doesn't listen and just explains her side without addressing anything I said, and then when I try to ask about how what she is saying is relating to what I am saying she starts a whole argument about how I'm not listening (I literally mirror her language because that is how I talk a lot of the time, so I'm literally displaying that I am listening) and how I'm just trying to convince her to my side (which yeah I am to an extent at times because like in this case they are causing a major problem for me that they started on their own and their reasoning is "well I'm tired from work," and I'm honestly like, "well shit maybe you should have thought about that before having me bring it down in the middle of the week when you are going to be working," but at the same time I do get it that is why I let them blow me off about it yesterday, but if you think that will hold up to me when it's going to cause extreme pain and potentially an argument with our parents just because I'm not listening to their side of the argument (because I'm not immediately agreeing with their side, just to be clear about the hypocrisy here)) and overall just making me feel like shit and like they have it so much more together than I do (which is true to an extent but also not to others)

So yeah, my sisters are good at making me feel shitty and honestly after this I almost left, this has made me decide it isn't worth it to be here extremely short term like this so I'm not going to be coming back at all next week during the week (I'll probably come down next Friday or Saturday) because I get enough shit from our parents and they want me here so I can "get a break from them," but it's not really a break if they pull the same or similar shit which they don't seem to get, so yeah, bad situations abound

Also, one final to be clear, my younger sister who was the main aggressor of this situation (who, up till a few months ago was my main support, and isn't that just sad?) Has like barely been around while I've been here, she works 12-5, doesn't want to socialize before work, and is typically too crabby to socialize after work right now, and yet is coming at me for not,"filling them in on the timeline," like you could have easily heard it any of the other times it was said but since this was really more our older sister's thing and she's the one I told multiple times since arriving that I was leaving Thursday and that the stuff needed to be out of my car, and since you were barely around you don't get to act all high and mighty like I pulled some kind of switcheroo. Furthermore, they had some intense need to have this shit as soon as possible when they aren't going to decorate after work because they're too tired and they are both busy this weekend, so the reality is that they put an unnecessary time crunch and unnecessary pressure on me for something that easily could have waited till next weekend

Finally, I would like to state for the record, on this post, I hate the holidays and hate Christmas and they know this and yet act like I should care because it's for their place not our parents'

4 notes · View notes