#i keep restarting and then pausing and then i'll go watch other shows and the cycle continues (this has happened twice so far) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eviebane · 4 months

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Hello!

First of all, happy new year and congrats on 1000 followers!

I just want to say I love your blog, and it's one of my favourite blogs on tumblr. You're a very important part of the GO fandom, so keep being you :). Your work is amazing; and I really love your video edits (I confess I haven't found the time to read your fanfics yet but it's definitely on my list, I promise).

I've been kind of wanting to try gifmaking for a while, and I read your posts about video editing/gifmaking. If it's not too much trouble, would you be willing to share a few more tips? (Doesn't have to be that detailed, just a few simple tricks for beginners).

Thank you and have a nice day/night!

Oh Anon, you're a sweetie. Thank you!! I'm so pleased that this blog can bring joy to others. All of you are so lovely, it makes everything so much more fun!

I'll share whatever wisdom I can but I'm still a bit of a newbie really; I've only used Davinci Resolve for about 6 months~ or so, so if anyone else has any other tips, please add!!

1) I would recommend Davinci Resolve to anyone who wants to get into video editing as it's free & quite similar to Vegas Pro (which I do have, but personally I prefer Davinci).

2) If you want to make GIFs, I'd recommend creating a project using the settings I use here, then saving it as your 'template' so every time you want to make a new GIF, you don't have to re-do your settings because it'll be saved on that project.

3) You can create multiple tracks - I use this for overlaying audio (and turning off video on that track), or for adding text or effects generators. This is what my War of Hearts edit looks like in DaVinci:

I used track 3 & 4 for text Track 2 for just audio (you can see I turned off video) Track 1 was my 'main' video & audio track Track A5 was my music

This is what The Book of Love looks like, you can see it was only 3 tracks (music, video, text)

4) The marker function. This is handy for leaving notes for yourself or sectioning things off while you work, but you can also render those markers to create 'chapters' automatically when you upload it to YouTube. Add a marker with the little blue button, then double click your market & name it. You can use different colours too.

When you render it, tick 'Chapters from Markers' and make sure the colour matches the markers you want to make into chapters, then export.

5) Get yourself some new fonts!! I downloaded free fonts from Google [link], installed them, restarted Davinci, and they were ready to use!

6) The 3rd tab. When you click on a clip, you'll get lots of options. PLAY WITH THEM. Just start changing settings & observe what it does. I cannot emphasis enough - just play with Davinci and see what happens. Don't aim to make it something, just aim to learn. Whack a clip down & start putting effects, zoom, cropping, etc on it.

You can colour the image on the 5th tab via colour wheels. Don't worry if it's silly! Again, just click around and see what happens! Here, I'll show you me playing with colours & effects:

honestly it looks like a meme with the text

7) Speaking of the 5th tab, I ONLY LEARNT THIS LAST WEEK WHICH IS EMBARRASING, but you can copy the colouring you've done to 1 clip onto other clips. Select the clips you want to colour, then scrollwheel click on the clip WITH the colourings you want.

8) Use your arrow keys on the keyboard (⬅️➡️⬇️⬆️) to move along your timeline. It's a lot easier to find the right frame, instead of using your mouse. Here's some basic keyboard shortcuts:

Cut: [Ctrl + X]

Copy: [Ctrl + C]

Undo: [Ctrl + Z]

Redo: [Ctrl + Shift + Z]

Paste: [Ctrl + V]

Select All: [Ctrl + A]

Play/pause [Space]

9) This seems obvious but I have lost hours of editing because I didn't do this. When you start a new project, SAVE IT (File>Save Project) as then it'll start autosaving the project.

10) I would heavily recommend watching some YouTube tutorials if you've never video edited before. I also started out with a pre-installed Windows 'Video Editor' (I think it's called Clipchamp now?) which is extremely basic, so it allowed me to learn without getting overwhelmed with all the bells and whistles that Davinci has. If DaVinci is too much right away, try something easier, but you might get frustrated as it's less control & options (only 1 track, limited colouring options, limited effects/transitions, can't view frame by frame, etc).

In summary: Play around with your editing software & see what happens. Watch edits, look at GIFs- observe how they edit as it might inspire you & help put some of your new skills/knowledge into context. If there's anything I can help with, just drop me a message! Good luck & happy editing ❤️

#video editing #good omens #ask #editing #edits #gifs

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kyepha · 2 months

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The Uncanny Survivor Game

My third upload in 2024, it's crazy that I've already made three videos so far. I noticed in my previous two videos (Halo Reach, Sims LS) my voice over audio was very bass boosted and so I added some more treble this time around and it sounds much better.

I also played around with the narration parts and made a cool background in the theme of the video. I got the idea after watching a lot of other youtubers doing similar content. I think it's a fun way to add a bit of visual spice to each video, and also help make them feel separated from each other without completely dismantling them from the body of work that is my channel (art school brain taking over).

This game was also pretty tricky, I don't know if it looks like an easy game to play in the video but it was actually kind of hard. I actually had an initial playthrough that was originally going to be the one I used for the video, but I paused the game to go to the title screen just because I wanted some footage of it and then there was NO continue option!? Honestly wild, so I had to restart and honestly I'm glad I did, I had a much more entertaining cast the second time around (they give you the same characters but their personalities are always randomly assigned and the teams are also randomized each playthrough).

Next up I want to continue on my Halo series. I've played CE and Halo 2 now so the next couple of videos will be of those games and I've also made some tracks on a couple of Animal Crossing videos, I've mentioned in stream that I'm working on a video showing off my finished island in ACNH so that should be out some time in April, but the other video will be a secret for now :)

Anyways that is all from me for now. Gonna do a blog post each time I upload a video, and maybe some in between if anything exciting happens in my life. This is really fun, it feels like a little personal record of my journey on YouTube. I feel like after almost 6 years of uploading, I've finally found the kind of content I want to make and what my style is.

I'm always best when I work with a deadline, so I've set myself a personal goal of a video every 10 days. That gives me a good amount of time to make a quality video. I do work a 9-5 so it can be tricky finding time for video making but I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, and see what happens.

I appreciate all of your support,

Until the next one! K

#youtube #survivor castaway island #blog post #kyepha

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orokay · 1 year

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I'm looking for some computer advice if anyone could help me, under the cut~

OKAY so I've had this issue for a while, but I haven't been able to find a way to fix it. I've just put up with it because it wasn't coming up super often and even now that it does it's not the worst thing in the world but it is very annoying so I'd like to fix it if it's doable. Anyway, my problem is that for some reason if my computer goes to sleep and logs out, when I log back in SOMETIMES youtube stops working. And it's not a video player thing, it's the entire website. Sometimes it doesn't connect at all (I'll type in the url and it'll start loading and then give up) but lately it starts loading the website but says I'm not connected to the internet. It's specifically youtube. I can use any other website fine, watch videos (even youtube video embeds on discord) etc. I sometimes have a similar issue with discord where it stops loading messages and if I close it and open it again it just shows the loading screen and keeps trying to update but (I'm guessing) can't connect to the internet so it just keeps retrying forever.

Occasionally it'll start working again. I've noticed if I already had a youtube video open on browser and I hit play, it'll keep trying to connect to the internet to load the rest of the video and eventually, I guess, brute force it's way back online. BUT most of the time I have to restart my computer completely.

Weirdly enough, there are periods where it happens almost every time my computer falls asleep and then periods where it rarely ever happens. It doesn't happen to anyone else in the household so I'm positive it's just my computer.

I'm thinking of factory resetting my computer to see if I just accidentally fucked something up at some point, but I'd like to avoid that if I can. It's just such a specific issue that I haven't been able to google it and get any information at all about what's going on. It looks like this when I try to open up youtube. If it helps, it loads up to that line at the top, then pauses for a while and stops loading after that:

#dl #not art #it's a dell g15 if that makes a difference

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amplifyme · 7 months

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Okay, so I paused and am restarting my read through because of some happenings:

While rewatching a few eps, I roped my sister (who I'd been keeping up to date/discussing BATB/Nan's work with) into seeing some Diana. Needless to say, she got (my words) hooked on her (and also Father, who cracks her up without him meaning to; AND Elliot Burch-- her thoughts were "he's a capable actor", as in so completely convincing), watched the last four eps of S3, the two Devin episodes, and some bits and pieces of early S3 Diana. She loves the coziness of the show (something she described as "putting on while she does art"), soooooooooooooo I read her some Nan bits. And she's liked it enough to do a readthrough with me. Btw, interesting: Vincent grew on her, but she wasn't initially big on his character-- more of an "okay, yeah, alright" than a "VINCENT!!!!", you know. (Clarification: She was very on board with him in the first ep. she saw-- one with Cathy; but the second one she saw, she describes it as "going into neutral mode.") She also loved hearing the other characters talk about Cathy. And she's "kind of" a Devin fan (as in, was excited to reach "Bimbo" in AWTN.) And she loves "Baby Jake"-- because she loves characters that give other people things to live for. And, to sum this all up, she described S3 as "the perfect ending."

I probably won't have too many new thoughts (unless she and I go down a few rabbit holes as I fill in x/y/z reference in AWTN); but I'll pass on a few of her thoughts if she's okay with it. (Had reached "Ghosts" in my reread; but this is working out because I was BREEZING through Nan's work without taking proper time to digest.)

Be back soonish with thoughts~! :DDDDDDD

Ah, okay, so this is where your sister joined the fun!

Don't really have a lot to add to this one, but I enjoyed reading her initial thoughts. Glad it finally showed up in my inbox. 🤨

#beauty and the beast 1987 #discussion

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soniabigcheese · 1 year

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Hello! For the warm & fluffy bingo, how about Alan + Distracting you to win ?

Ohhhh ... thank you!

And thank you to @warmandfluffybingocards for the bingo card

The Online Conquests of Alan Tracy - Sorta

I don't normally go for writing stuff down in a journal, cos it's boring and I have my brothers to do that sort of stuff. Especially big bro Scott.

Ho boy, is he a pushover.

Just the other day, I was bored, I'd finished my homework and avoided grandma's 'tasting sessions' in the kitchen. When I decided to challenge Scott to my latest tournament game.

Reluctantly, he agreed. Couldn't use the excuse that he was helping Brains with some retro fits to Thunderbird One, cos just then, Brains popped up to say the parts weren't ready yet (we make most of our stuff on site, rather than wait for someone to deliver)

Anyways, I showed him how this tournament worked - as he hadn't a clue. He didn't listen, wanted to dive straight in. Just like the impatient big bro that he is. We were going well to begin with, then I yelled 'THERE'S A ROCK!' He laughed, didn't bother to duck, so it hit him and his character died. All lives lost.

He wasn't happy about that, said it was a stupid game and stormed off.

Game time total? 15 minutes - I think. Could have been 5. Happened so fast I wasn't keeping track.

Next one was Virgil.

Another sucker. He lasted a bit longer than Scott

He's not really that into video games, but he, like Scott, would do anything to get out of tasting grandma's food. He didn't fall for the rock trick. So I had to be clever and pretend that his character was the medic (it wasn't) Bribed him with a promise of proper cookies and coffee

Ha! First beast his character encountered, it was bleeding so his first instinct was to heal it. Tried to tell him that this beast reacted badly to the potion his character was carrying.

Got slaughtered on the spot, used all his lives up.

Virgil sat there for a few minutes, dumbfounded and protesting that he was doing his best. Before stalking off, grumbling that the game was dumb.

"That's not how stuff works."

Was his parting shot.

Game play, total of half an hour - or thereabouts

John next.

Now he took some convincing. And had EOS on his side so he had an unfair advantage. They were both familiar with the game, after she sneaked inside to make sure there were no bugs in the game or cheat codes.

I have to admit, they almost got me, but I managed, when I told John that EOS was changing the score. Things got a bit tense and the game almost crashed, due to EOS' temper tantrum.

It wasn't my wisest move, as now I have made an enemy out of EOS now. I have a lot of sucking up to do, cos she never forgets and can hold one heck of a grudge.

Game play total? Lost count after several restarts and crashes - along with EOS shutting it all down without saving (glad it auto saves after a pause or two)

Gordon?

Forget it.

He knows my moves only too well, and no amount of bribery can get him to play with me. Besides, he's too googly-eyed over a certain Lady Penelope.

Kayo.

A worthy opponent.

She's a fast learner and can outwit me and the game itself at every turn.

I could say that my defeat was because I'd 'turned all noble' but nope. She beat me fair and square. I think I'll make her as part of my team, so we can battle beasties together.

She died twice, only because .... I don't want to talk about it.

Nope, I will.

For some reason, my stupid game glitched and my hero character started making funny spins and pirouettes - I'm watching you EOS - so I couldn't control him. Then the graphics went weird.

Funny how it never happened to her character.

Game play? I lost track of time but it's got to be a record though.

We had to give up, I checked online and it was a common glitch - apparently - and they were fixing it right now. Just suggested that once a patch was released, we have to do a hard reset of the game.

Well, that sucks.

Okay EOS, you're forgiven

Alan Tracy - out

#thunderbirds are go #warm and fluffy bingo card #alan tracy #distracting you to win

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fizzingwizard · 2 months

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Was curious how many of the Sims 4 bugs on this list I've encountered… it's a lot

Part One because I guess this is too many bugs even for tumblr hahaha

Jumpy Animations/Sims teleport - since a long time ago but worse now Routing/Sit down issue on several interactions - love to watch my sims wander around like ants looking for somewhere to sit with a chair right in front of them. especially love when I tell me sim to go play a game at the card table in the same room, and instead they go outside, walk around the entire house, come back in and then sit at the table. guess they just felt like a walk first lol Music from other modes Plays During Live Mode - yup and usually overlapping. fix with restart but it often happens in CAS where you lose all your stuff if you quit… Lag for menu to show up when clicking on objects - especially the fridge/oven!!!! Sims keep moving after paused Sims do DU homework under laptops - not just DU tho I get this for anything that can be done at a table, including eating, and sometimes it's not even a portable laptop but a computer Sim won't accept queued commands/ Sims don't do actions - this was supposedly "console" but as a non-console player I know it happens to the rest of us too. also to most of us Lots with manipulated terrain look realistic/strange in world view - idk if this is a bug, i think probably that's just how it appears. but it is weird Fishing Identification for active Sim with no fishing skill - I think this one has been around since base game. Sims 4 really wants everyone to love fishing. I'll be like. mourning the death of Sim Grandpa. And all of a sudden 6-year-old Sim Grandson will "identify the Perch!" Multiple daily calls for sim to switch careers - CONSTANTLY. EVEN WITH PHONE ON SILENT MODE! Excessive use of Cross Stitch Basket - yep. I get it the worst with cross stitch, but I find it annoying that other hobbies which cost money like knitting and painting are autonomous as well. Either there should be a "practice" object which is the default and is free or this stuff shouldn't be autonomous. Food too tbh… I have tried playing rags to riches before, and one reason I gave up was just this - it was so hard to keep control of finances because sims have no concept of saving pennies lol Railings Clipping Through Walls - hate this so ugly Multi-story columns misaligned Foundation becomes see-through Sim Gets Fear of the Dark After Being Cured - all the fears and wants sucked. they're boring, curing then is boring, they have little impact except just ruining your sims day, and YEAH, they come back after being cured!! best to turn it off just like neighborhood stories Constantly dirty surroundings moodlet from Pressure Cooker and Kettle - I'm not 100% sure I've got this one, I will check the next time I play. However I've had multiple issues with these objects: sims constantly cooking with them when their queue is empty, and constant fires originating with them. Lately my sims was complaining her kitchen was dirty but I could not find anything dirty. She's a Neat sim, but even after having her clean everything, and then going into build mode and moving stuff to look for plates that might have gotten stuck under objects and are hard to see, the room still registered as dirty. I'm thinking it was the pressure cooker or kettle, or maybe even pizza oven which she also has Upgraded beds give two contradictory moodlets - yup spend hours upgrading your bed and the sims like "what a bad sleep!" Sims on home lot don't take care of needs when active sims away - yeah two sims in my house recently almost starved bc of this NPCs take food ordered by active Sim - yup! again ruining my rages to riches haha No evolve option (ready to evolve) - yes and yes I've checked that the plants are in season. Also having major issues with other gardening things especially on community lots Very High Household Bills While On Vacation Campfire causes too many fires - really frustrating for me bc I use the campfire a lot. I absolutely love camping gameplay but between constant fires and thunderstorms where you're 100% guaranteed to get electrocuted (9_9) it really sucks

#sims #sims 4

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mochiusagifanficchaos · 3 years

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Sherlock x Mute!Reader •Part 7•

Metal crashed against metal as you yanked wildly at the handcuff around your wrist until you felt warm blood running down your ice-cold hand.

Silently sobbing you sank back on the bed. The sudden lack of noise made the dark room even scarier.

How have you ended here? What happened and why the hell can't you remember?!

These thoughts got stuck in your head, drove a rollercoaster, and made you feel sick.

Helpless you tried to remember what had happened, tried to puzzle everything together but the last thing you remember was going to bed alone in your flat.

Alone.

The word echoed in your head.

Something in the back of your mind told you that this wasn't right.

There was this feeling, this feeling of being watched. You had it right before you fell asleep.

Suddenly you remember that something was being pressed on your face. You couldn't breathe anymore and smelled something sweet. Panicking you had woken up and saw someone standing next to your bed. He was pressing you down and covered your mouth and nose with a piece of cloth.

It was Jonathan.

You screamed inside your head, wanted to punch yourself for your stupidity of trusting a man you barely knew instead of trusting Sherlock.

Your eyes darted to your left as a door was opened with a loud squeaking sound and bright blue light fell into the room.

A man was standing in the frame and threw a large shadow on the ground.

"Finally awake?", a deep voice asked with a sarcastic undertone and his heavy steps resounded through the room as he walked towards you.

"Oh, it was so easy to twist you around my little finger", he hummed as he tugged on his black curls, pulling down the wig from his head and revealing short blonde hair.

He chuckled as he saw the scared look on your face.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm not gonna harm you.", Jonathan pulled a phone out of his pockets and stood there for a while, typing something, before he sat beside you on the bed and turned the camera on, holding the phone away so that you both were visible on the screen.

"As long as Sherlock does what I want."

"Let's play a game, Sherlock.", the man in the video said and grinned evilly.

Watson heard this sentence for at least the 20th time in a row now since Sherlock kept restarting the video which he received 10 minutes ago on his phone.

"Watching it over and over again won't get (y/n) back here.", Mycroft said, trying to bring his little brother back to his senses but Sherlock completely ignored him, restarting the video again.

Annoyed Watson stood up from his chair and snatched the phone out of Sherlock's hand: "That's enough now."

"I should've stayed with her.", Sherlock mumbled under his breath and ran his hands over his face, his black shirt stretched over his back and arms as every muscle in his body tensioned.

Suddenly he stood up and threw his hands in the air: "For god's sake I should've stayed with her!"

"It's not your fault.", Watson tried to calm him down, shook from his unusual behavior.

"Don't fool yourself, Watson, of course, it is! That lunatic is just kidnapping her because of me."

On Sherlock's phone popped up a message from an unknown number and Watson gave it back to Sherlock. He swiftly opened it, just to nearly drop it as he saw the content of the message.

It was a picture of you sitting on the bed, a blanket half over your shoulders and your right hand was laid over the left. It was dark but Sherlock still noticed the handcuffs and the bloody strains underneath them on your skin. Your hair was parted to both sides of your face and you had a smile on your face. A forced smile, your lips were curled up but your eyes showed fear.

The phone rang loudly and Watson jumped.

Sherlock answered the call with a cold expression.

"Such a pretty girl, don't you think?", the man on the other side chuckled darkly.

Sherlock's hand tightened around his cellphone: "Don't you dare to touch her.", his voice had a deadly sound and even Watson needed to gulp since he never heard him talk like this.

"Oh, I won't, what are you thinking of me? But you should hurry.", the man made a dramatic pause. "It's getting really cold in here."

He chuckled again before he hung up.

Slowly Sherlock lowered his hand with the phone and stared blankly out of the window.

Watson didn't dare to speak and waited for Sherlock to tell him what was up, but he stayed silent and the only noise was the beeping of the disconnected phone call.

Without a word, Sherlock turned around, threw his coat over and rushed with fast and heavy steps past Microft and Watson and down the stairs. Watson followed him to the street and just about made it into the cab in which Sherlock had hopped in.

"Where are we going?", Watson asked as the car started driving.

"The national gallery."

Your shaking ice-cold fingers were wrapped around each other, your knees were tugged under your chin and your arms were pressed at your body to keep the warmth inside.

Your teeth silently chattering was the only sound in the room, beside the rattles of your handcuffs around the bed frame sometimes when you shifted your weight.

Jonathan had left you alone hours ago, he said that he needed to prepare something for Sherlock and you were scared of what he had planned, scared of what he might do to him.

His evil laugh still echoed in your head and made you shiver more than the cold air around you.

"If you're ever scared, my love, then count to three and think of me, count to ten and think of a friend, count to a hundred and your fear will be tamed"

You remembered your mum saying this to you whenever you were scared after what had happened to you as a child. After you lost your voice.

Warm tears rolled over your cheeks as you counted to three and thought of her smile and laugh, her warm embrace and her soft voice.

More and more tears rolled down your cheeks and you began sobbing as you thought about Sherlock.

Thought about him taking care of you on the day you had burned your hand in the café.

Thought about this proud smile he had on his face when you kept the keys for the register.

You remembered the day when he got you out of the hospital to eat some chips together.

And then took a ride with you on the London Eye. You knew that he had watched you and had a smile on his face as he saw you being so amazed by the night view.

You thought about the days you had tried to ignore and allure him since he wouldn't talk to you about the case and ended up being followed by a slightly sad and jealous Sherlock. Now you were sure that he hadn't understood his own feelings at this time and probably was really confused why you made him feel like this.

You chuckled slightly. When you would get out of here alive you would try to seduce him even more, you loved the look on his face when he was too confused about his own feelings.

The picture of you sitting on Sherlock's lap, both of you sleeping, popped up in your mind.

This was the moment you got aware of that you really loved him. You never felt so safe and like home before, then in his arms.

The thought of this brought a warm feeling back and you noticed that you had stopped sobbing and shivering.

You remembered him entering the café after not having seen or heard from him for over three months and that smile that crawled on his face as he saw you.

He had pulled you in this tight hug instead of saying hello and made your heart melt.

A loud bang ripped you out of your thoughts and brought you back to the dark and cold reality.

You held your breath and listened to if there were any other noises but everything remained silent.

Just as you gave up on listening a bright light suddenly flooded the room and you had to cover your eyes, pressing your face into the stinky mattress.

Blinking you tried to get used to the lack of darkness and it took you some seconds to see the big tv on the opposite wall.

It showed Sherlock and Watson who just came running into a big white room with paintings on the walls and you immediately noticed that it was a room from the national gallery.

"Will you tell me now why we needed to go here?", Watson asked out of breath as he watched Sherlock examining every painting in the big room.

"The picture.", Sherlock just answered and walked into the next room. "He made her look like the Mona Lisa and where do we usually find paintings?"

"The national gallery", Watson sighted.

Suddenly Sherlock's phone rang and he hesitated for a second to pick up.

"Where's (y/n)?", he asked straight out.

"Oh Sherlock, I'm not gonna make it so easy for you. Don't you remember that I wanted to play a game?", the voice on the other side said with amusement.

Sherlock tried hard to keep a straight face: "I already solved your little puzzle to get here and I don't want to keep on playing."

A loud laugh suddenly echoed out of the speakers from every corner of the room and Watson whirled around.

"If you don't want to play the game then you won't be able to safe (y/n). Aren't you having fun? I thought you liked puzzles, Sherlock."

The voice filled the room with a dangerous atmosphere.

Sherlock remained silent, grinding his teeth.

"I see, good choice.", the voice chuckled. "You know, I'll give you something to think about: she's here, somewhere, and I already told you where."

Sherlock narrowed his eyebrows, he couldn't think of anything right now, the feeling of fear for you had crawled into him and wouldn't let go anymore.

He took a deep breath and placed his hands in a praying position to his lips.

His eyes darted fast over the paintings on the wall to find anything that would show him where you were captured.

But he couldn't find anything.

"There got to be something!", Sherlock muttered and ruffled his hand through his hair in frustration.

A chuckle echoed out of the speakers again: "Oh Sherlock, don't make it so hard for yourself. I said that I already told you where she is."

Sherlock stopped in his actions and his eyes widened.

"Stupid!", he suddenly scoffed. "My god, Watson, why didn't we notice that earlier?"

"What? What didn't we notice earlier? Sherlock!"; Watson shouted after Sherlock who already ran down the hall.

A swear escaped Watson as he chased after Sherlock's flapping coat...

Next chapter will be up next weekend!

Thank you all so much for reading and your nice comments 🥺 ❤

Tag list ❤

@misselsbells06 @fictionalhoomanofnowhere @a-paper-cut @viviace

#fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #bbc sherlock #sherlock #sherlock fandom #sherlock fanfic #sherlock x reader #sherlock x y/n #sherlockxmutereader

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 4 years

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In My Mind x 05

Firm foundations and sturdy hands

still crumble under tyranny

---

"Where exactly are you taking me," you slur through toothpaste, spitting it in the sink before rinsing. It's still early, 8:45, but he's fast, putting on clothes in his room while you take the bathroom.

"Well you need clothes, I ain't forget."

"And hair products, a curling iron, satin cap, my own body wash," you add using his mouthwash. It's good he has extras of the basics. The bathroom door is cracked so he can walk in and hand you a stick of deodorant which you jam under your arms and set in an empty drawer with your toothbrush for your own. "Okay, v-neck come through."

Full business casual, he comes up beside you in the mirror brushing his shaved sides down and you walk out to put your shoes back on, wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

The way out of the building is just as smooth as the way in. You take a staircase to a display where his glossy burgundy BMW sits with tinted windows and custom tags.. his trophy.. and then you get in. He presses a button and you sink through tinted glass looking out at the view until you reach ground and the wall goes up behind you allowing him to back out onto pavement.

"I'll never get over that," you mumble looking through the side mirror to watch the opening shut. His own private entrance. A 'sky garage' he called it.

"Nia.."

"Hm.."

"What do you think about Black Wall Street?" He's driving somewhat normal now, only six miles over the speed limit and you haven't felt like you were going to fall through the door yet which is a plus.

"Black business, black mecca."

"It's been the pinnacle of black successful business. If you look at Tulsa, Jackson Ward, Durham.. We were at the height of self-sufficiency. We had bankers, builders, mechanics, electricians, cooks, shoemakers, tailors.... hairstylists. Anything you needed, you'd get from your own people and it worked! We were putting money in each other's pockets and building wealth with each other, taking pride in our blackness instead of tryna be the third white race... you know Asians are the second."

"I was with you until that last one."

"Nia, you know what happened to all them cities?"

"They were destroyed."

"By who? Did we destroy ourselves?"

"Boy. Who are you, Dr. Umar?"

"That's what you think?"

You touch the small black, red, and green beaded necklace with the wooden brown carved Africa pendent sitting in his cupholder.

"Umar Johnson is an ignorant misogynist who uses his platform to spread false information while robbing his followers. That's what you think of me?"

You blink. "No, I only meant the superwoke part."

"Unlike him, I have a Ph.D and I don't think AIDS came from gay black men, but it was intended to decimate the black population."

"I get it, don't compare you," you mutter watching the Oakland city views through your tinted window. People are out, strutting and power-walking on sidewalks and jogging across streets to work.

"Who destroyed our black wall streets?"

"White people," you sigh giving him what he wants.

"Never forget that the US National Guard united with White Nationalists in 1921 to bomb and shoot up the Greenwood District of Tulsa. They destroyed 35 blocks of self-sufficient black business, murdering an estimated 200 people and injuring more. This is what happens when you and I pull ourselves up by our bootstraps in this country. Jackson Ward? Socio-economic assault. They built a highway right through it and put their own businesses around it to undercut our efforts. They chased us out and sent us to housing projects then filled them with drugs. You see where I'm going with this?"

"I think I'm starting to."

"Nia, you've seen my dreams, you've seen where I've been. I've stood on both sides and seen firsthand how easy it is to infiltrate and decimate an entire city, a region even with the right intelligence and firepower. Hell, I've even pulled the trigger and I'm not proud, but it was a necessary evil for me to see that it doesn't matter how strong you build or how pure your intentions are. When a government decides that you've surpassed the ceiling of poverty they've designed specifically for you they'll wipe out a generation, drug you up, and restart you from zero. Do you understand how deep this goes?"

You finger the beaded necklace in your lap. Of course you understand everything he's saying, but what he's expecting from you is a different story and you won't agree to anything prematurely.

"Where's the end," you ask. How will he know when he's accomplished this great mission he's been on for most of his life? It's all he breathes. Will he even survive without the fight as his purpose? Keeping your silence, you watch his profile as he turns left.

"Africa. Africa was the start and it'll be the end, but in the meantime we need to provide legal and physical protection here, major city by city. We need safe houses, secured and armed.. built to withstand the force of a nuclear weapon."

"How will you manage that?"

"How long will it take is the question." Pulling up to a building standing among other buildings, this one is as big as a high school with lettering across the front reading Wakandan International Outreach Center. Temporarily, you put the fact that you're supposed to be shopping to the back of your mind. You've heard of this place on the news, but somehow you didn't put this together. He parks in front of some well manicured bushes in a space marked for the CEO.

"You're the CEO?" You look around at the cars in the lot, the WIOC bus, and to the people walking inside.

"You ain't know? Ms. See Everything?"

"If I saw everything, I'd have figured this thing out between us. Don't ya think?"

He steps out and adjusts his tie. He's got the grey v-neck sweater vest, the white collared shirt underneath. The navy chinos.. and the navy oxfords.

Getting out, you spin showing off the same outfit you've been wearing and his brows raise subtly as you walk in beside him. Immediately he's rushed with greetings from the three people at the front desk, two guys and a girl, all wearing black WIOC shirts with blue and purple lettering that reminds you of a 90s paper cup pattern. Very stylish and retro.

The girl with the baby face and two long feed-in braids, is reaching out, grabbing your hand to stamp with some sort of mallet which he gently blocks with two fingers on her wrist before it makes contact.

"Shakila, this is an affiliate," he stares. The girl straightens, backing up meekly and the guy to her right.. the one with a rougher feel and a troublesome glint in his eye can't be over 21, you guess. He rolls out from behind the desk and you see he's wearing all black roller skates with orange and green swirled wheels. They look custom.

"72 people in the building, boss, counting you two. Ghost and Slim out patrolling, say we gotta bluebird.. 5-0 campin at Fuller's they up to something but they been quiet..up there since about 8:15 this morning."

"Keep watching. Let me know if anything changes."

"Yezzir." He rolls off down the hall and makes a right, disappearing.

"Donnie, how you doin," Erik asks the man who's been reading a magazine, chillin. He's bald, light skin, and looks over 40. He's also as big as Erik! His muscles make his t-shirt took like a muscle shirt, it's tight, but it seems more of a personal style choice than an issue of not being able to get a bigger shirt.

Erik taps the desk before continuing down a short hall that splits into three and you walk alongside him, making a left when he makes a left and passing two young boys in the hall.

"An affiliate?"

"They thought I was bringing you in for assistance," he clarifies and your face scrunches. "But you and your salon might be interested in becoming affiliates after I give you the tour."

"Really? Wow.." This thing with him just keeps getting stranger.

"This is the women's dorm," he stops in front of a large expanded room, a space filled with about.. "Twenty beds, ten bunk beds. Forty women can sleep here with their kids. They call and we hold the spot or they show up and take it. That's all the beds we could fit in there but I'm thinking of expanding. The men's dorm is on the other side of the building. Don't worry, we have security. No incidents yet. Further down," he leads and you follow him down the clean tile hall. He takes you into another opening that says locker room.

"It's like a YMCA in here." You turn looking all through at the rows of lockers with actual locks, the showers, four toilet stalls, four sinks.

"There are 60 lockers, eight showers, eight stalls, eight sinks, two washers, and two dryers."

"Y'all water bill high." Looking back to him, he smiles and nods for you to head out into the hall again as you follow him. "This place is nice, if I didn't have my apartment, I'd try to stay someplace like this."

"It's our safe place for homeless kids and families or just people who need a place to be without having to look over their shoulder, wondering where their meal coming from or who's after them."

Pausing, you look around and Erik stops. This place is beautiful. He's even got the babies' art hanging on the walls making the place warmer.

"You good?"

"Yeah.. You know, I'd actually love to be affiliated with this place. I wanna donate. How do I do that?"

"I'm glad you asked, Nia. Keep walking with me. Let me show you the rest," he smirks, speeding up as he unlocks a door with his handprint that lights up blue.

"What the hell," you mutter staring between him and the door.

"Staff only entrance. Extra measure to keep the women safe on this side, if you wanna leave or come in, there's one way and you gotta get through security, that way you're only back here if you're supposed to be.

"Makes sense."

Through the door is another hall that's perpendicular to the one you just left. You follow him left and come to a large open cafeteria full of people sitting at tables, eating. Men, women, small children, teens, all black for the most part. There is a sprinkle of darker skin that isn't black. A mother with three young kids and then an old man.

"How do you get away with only taking black people? Isn't that 'discrimination'," you ask with air quotes. Not that you take issue with it, you're just curious. He laughs.

"When the colonizers come we just tell them we don't have the space and if there's an issue we have Donnie escort them out. We don't get governmental assistance, we're not required to run how they think we should run. We screen everyone who comes through and take who we think will benefit from our programs.

"Wow, I'm with it," you smile following him to the food line.

"Gone 'head baby," the older woman in front of him waves for you both to go ahead. He puts his hand on her back and kisses her cheek and the line ahead happily parts like the red sea letting the both of you through with a quickness. They love him. They genuinely love him. They also all have stamps on their hand. One woman is trying to pull her stubborn toddler aside and out of the way, but Erik sweeps him up and sits the boy on his hip, winking at the woman before passing you a white dish and grabbing two more.

"What you want lil man," he asks as he goes through each option fixing two plates. One (sausage links, grits, eggs, bacon, fried potatoes, pancakes, fruit cup) for himself and one (sausage links, bacon, eggs, pancake, fruit cup) for the kid.

Choosing a table, you sit with your plate (some of everything because it looks good) and Erik follows, sitting across from you with the kid and the two plates.

"I'll get the drinks," you offer heading back to pick up two glasses of apple juice, making it to the table before returning for one more glass and three straws. You pass them out and take your seat, mouth watering and ready to eat.

"Bow your head and close your eyes, please." You lower yours and wait.

"I don't close my eyes." He lowers his head and you say the prayer as the toddler reaches into Erik's plate grabbing one of his sausages. Erik doesn't look up but he shakes his head with a slow smile and you try to keep from laughing as you finish saying grace.

"Amen," you snort picking up your fork.

"This why I keep my eyes open," he points to the kid, shaking his head in humor. He sets the boy in the seat and hands him a piece of his own sausage. Looking over, you see the mom approaching with her plate and an apologetic smile.

"Lord," she sighs. She's pretty though she looks tired. "I'm so sorry, he's a handful, I know."

"Not at all," Erik smiles. She sits next to her son and he automatically starts pulling on her, saying "mama, mom, mommy," just busy, so she pulls him onto her lap to keep him still. They're both cute and remind you of Lia and her son, Jackson.

"This is Chyna.. and Orion," he palms the boy's head playfully. "Chyna, this is Nia," he nods digging into his plate.

"Hi Nia," she smiles and you reach out to take her hand, asking how she is. She's great but ready to eat, she laughs and for a while you all just focus on eating.

"Mommy," Orion starts and you understand 40% of what he just said. His mom entertains him with hums of "Really? Oh wow," as she eats, feeding bacon into his hands.

"You here for a job," she asks looking up and it's an innocent question.

"I'm here on tour of the facility, just lookin-"

"Nia is an affiliate and potential shareholder. We're in discussion," he interrupts.

"Oh okay..," Chyna's eyes widen. "So you're getting a feel of the center. Let me tell you why this place is so important," she says all humor gone.

"Me and my son have been here for the past few nights.. a few nights before that.. and then maybe a week prior." She looks to Erik and he nods.

"His father, Rashaad," she continues, gesturing to her son, "He died last month and didn't leave a dime. I talked to his family and my family and they told me I could sign over his body and the state would cremate him," she pauses, still in shock from it. "...But I couldn't do that..." Tears leak from her eyes and you look around for a napkin. She swallows, her eyes turning pink, and takes a breath. "Then there was the rent.. We hadn't paid it for the month and our extension was running out," she sniffs. "Well I had a funeral to plan, I couldn't let the state take him."

Orion, feeling her sadness, rubs her face to try to make her feel better and she tries to pull herself together.

"So ah-" she wipes her nose. "I took a chance and contacted the Wakandan International Outreach Center and they not only paid for the burial and the coffin, they sent a representative to the funeral for words of encouragement and I'll never forget that," she sighs. Erik keeps his eyes down to his plate.

"See, his daddy.. was a hood," she continues, eyes dead on yours. You know what she's talking about. You don't have to grow up in Cali to have family in the streets. "He was shot out there in the streets in a driveby...," she sniffs. "And you know.. people like to talk a lotta shit, but even if he wasn't nothing to nobody else, he was someone to me. I loved him."

"We're working on getting Chyna a higher paying job to cover her rent," Erik interjects giving her time to wipe her face.

"Yeah, they paid the rent for the month and they're paying next month. I'm taking the class on building a resume now. I'm still working at Ross, I'm just trying to do everything I can.

"You're doing a lot," you offer and Erik gestures for you to stand to follow him out. "It was good to meet you and hear your experience," you smile shaking her hand.

"Thank you, and I'm glad you're trying to help. We need more people like him," she points to Erik.

"Shit, don't boost me," he smiles. It's something he's done a lot since he's been here and you've noticed that his smile is something that brings so much peace and a sense of safety to these people. Still, looking at him you can see deep down there's a spot in him that isn't touched. It's full of rage and intense sadness that his smile can't cover. If only the peace he provided to all these people would reach him.

@thickemadame @just-juicee @kenbieeereadss @honeytoffee

Previous Chapters:

#in my mind #original #erik killmonger x oc #erik x reader #erik killmonger x black reader #erik x oc #erik killmonger x reader #black panther killmonger #killmonger #killmonger x reader #killmonger fic

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