#i keep remembering those days

[mooninkling]

Gifted kid they told me I was sometime, And lie it would be to say I didn't believe. One day, when, I don't know to tell, Life decided I had it too well. I found myself between the walls Of trusting myself or my teen phase calls. Horrendous nights full of tissues hidden under the bed, Days on the phone with a smiling dad. Things started fading, Never once I was or wanted to be depressing But everything felt without meaning As my life when I was 9 or 10 and I found about dying.

-Fragment from Gotta sort you out

#thoughts #my poetry #writing poetry #absolutely exhausted #i keep remembering those days #how the world started to suffocate me little by little #and i was so surprised #expecting the beautiful life I saw on TV since I was a kid #expecting the beautiful life of a teenager that never came #i was just a kid #just a kid when the world hit me #shook reality #destroyed #everything #plagued my mind with darkness #teenage #kid #life #reality hurts

[cerise-on-top]

Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

#cod #cod x reader #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #he actually kind of scares me these days even if I don't want that to happen in the slightest so I'm trying to desensitize myself again #I know people always joke about fanon könig vs canon könig but I think I will write him a bit softer with his s/o again #just to combat all those awful things I've seen about him that I don't want to be true and that I also want to forget about #könig is a big lad so I knew from the beginning I wanted him to be good at hugging because this is self indulgent #I feel like if it weren't for his anxiety he'd be much much cuddlier #because that's the case with me even if I have other things going on as well #and what is a funny character you write about if not another piece of yourself? #I've put so much of myself into some of these characters and yet people keep requesting them so I must be doing something right #it's more fun that way as well when you put your characters through something you've gone through. more relatable too #but I think that's something pretty much every writer does. that's why some requests are so difficult to write #I got one about marrying Laswell and Nikolai and that was a difficult request for me because the last wedding I went to #was my parents' and that was almost 18 years ago. man time flies I was 4 years old back then #so naturally I don't remember much either. But I tried and that's what's important! #either way please enjoy this piece of fluff I wrote today!

[front-facing-pokemon]

#wailmer #he so Appy !:) he so smile. devil may smile #those tiny little eyes up there at the top really make this guy #i don't actually know if this guy even remotely compares in size to wailord. but i think it'd be funnier if they don't. for canon #imagine someone who doesn't know a lot about pokémon gets a wailmer or something. and they keep them. but then they evolve #and fucking. have NOWHERE to go but now they're attached to their trainer so it's a whole thing #that's a little sad actually. what the fuck. how big is this bitch hold on lemme check #only about 6 feet apparently? so. small*ish*. all you wailord owners out there (or some of you who may be wailord yourself) do your best #i believe this'll be posting on the day i should be heading home from california. because i remember posting the one yesterday and thinking #that but i was wrong. so i think this is the one that actually will. so. again good luck future me #i'll perhaps need it

[ratwithhands]

Hi, Viewer Discretion:

This AU is about a nonexistent fictional mental health condition. There is imagery of straitjackets and other restraints, as well as mention of discrimination based off of health conditions. If you are uncomfortable with this content then please feel free to click off and enjoy something else. Thank you.

Dressing Sketch

Uniform Sketches

League Party sketch

Sketch dump for Battle Addict! This art has been gathering dust for a few months 😭 only just remembered to post it here.

These sketches are from Ver. 3 of Battle Addict, aka Battle Addict Twins, where both of them get the HCCM diagnosis.

The base idea for Battle Addict is that while most people enjoy Pokémon battling, there comes a certain point where one's love/obsession for battle starts bleeding into the rest of their life and becoming detrimental to their everyday life. This is usually called Combative Mania (CM), which is present in a large part of the population (40%-60%) hence why battling is so popular and so many different forms of it are made to keep people satisfied. The extreme form is Hyper-Competitive Combative Mania (HCCM), wherein a person spends so much time and energy for battles that it starts to affect their physical/mental health as well as their social life, since they neglect them in favour of their obsession.

Often what divides CM patients from HCCM patients is what they're willing to give up for battling and the extent of their knowledge regarding battles. CM patients usually only have a casual interest in battling or just enjoy the thrill of battling, but operate normally and have other interests outside of battle. They have basic to intermediate knowledge of battling, and can often partake in research or battles.

HCCM patients will often forgo food, water, sleep, school, work, and relationships in favour of researching and competing in battles. It is the only thing they find interest in and they devote most of their time towards it. Patients often memorize entire charts of statistics and different strategies and counterstrategies for battle, with different patients often having a certain subject they specialize in. Most patients with HCCM are unaware that they have it, they either assume that they have CM or that they are completely normal and just enjoy Pokémon battles. They often go into fields that work directly with researching Pokémon or battles, such as professors, scientists, gym leaders, elite four members, league workers, battle facility operators, and so on.

Ingo and Emmet do not know they have HCCM. They engage with battle and researching battle in a way that they think is typical for a hobbyist. Ingo tends to read on academic papers, textbooks, and study guides regarding the statistics and capabilities of Pokémon, whereas Emmet takes a more hands-on approach in studying Pokémon anatomy and battle strategy. Ingo often charts and studies natures, EVs, IVs, stat spreads, abilities, moves, and their properties. Emmet sketches anatomical diagrams and studies of Pokémon, including skeletal structure, musculature, organ systems, and physical appearance, highlighting pressure points in the body for executing the most damage and for keeping his own Pokémon protected. He also tends to read into psychological studies as well as conducting his own long term tests to predict a person's strategy in different situations. The two feed into each other's interests, teaching the other of their own discoveries and celebrating breakthroughs together. As a result, their total knowledge of battling is immense, which led to them becoming Subway Bosses straight out of college.

The two lived and worked fairly normally; they were very passionate about their work and it provided a way to sate their need for fighting on a regular basis, as well as giving them the space to experiment with different fighting styles and analyze others' strategies. Of course they still continue their studying outside of work, which often leads to them trying different methods or revisiting recorded battles to see how they could improve. The twins still believe their hours long discussions, piles of notes, and stacks of study materials littered around their house are perfectly fine, only stopping to reconsider after a comment from a coworker highlights how they must be crazy or incredibly disciplined to have as huge of a win : loss ratio as they do.

They end up taking the issue to a psychiatrist after dwelling on the idea for a few days, which is where they get diagnosed after a few tests and a description of their lifestyle and interests. Their case is considered moderate but could easily escalate into severe if left unchecked, though the main concern is whether this would make them a threat to other people due to their work and prominence. Obviously they don't want to lose their jobs, but this kind of thing could get them removed from the League Council if it got out, so they have to consider whether they share this information with their employers or not. Ingo thinks it'd be best to keep it under wraps, but Emmet fears that this could be used as blackmail and argues that they need to release this information themselves before someone else ruins their lives with it. Eventually they do take the diagnosis to the League Council and it gets out to the public.

Emmet takes the fall for Ingo, claiming his case is severe whereas Ingo's is mild so that the League Council will be more distracted with him to bother Ingo. That ends up with Emmet getting a new restraining uniform because the League no longer trusts him to handle himself in public based off his diagnosis. Neither of them are particularly pleased about this, but Emmet tells Ingo to look on the bright side. Emmet actually starts to find the jacket to be more of a little challenge than a hindrance, as it adds an extra level of difficulty to battles that he's been looking for, but Ingo still thinks it would be better if he hadn't had to wear it at all. This unfortunately extends to League parties where he has to be restrained to even be allowed entry, which he is much less happy about.

This post is getting ungodly long as it is but there's also a branch off of this concept where Ingo and Emmet land in Hisui together and Emmet's uniform looks like this. He deconstructed the uniform he was given to modify his jacket since by that point he had a bit of a sentimental connection to it and didn't want to just swap it out.

(Bonus fun fact: Ingo and Emmet decided to pull the biggest gag on the Pearl Clan when they first land by pretending to be one person under the alias Eki. Ingo is the polite one in the dark coat by day, and Emmet is the energetic one in the white coat by night. "Day Eki" is more popular with other Wardens and older clan members, whereas "Night Eki" is more popular with the village children and insomniacs.

The whole Warden Eki concept is technically its own AU in the background but it did originate from Battle Addict. Also I already drew Emmet in the Pearl Strait I can't take that back)

Anyways uhhh there's more let me see if I can condense it:

The twins went to a University specifically focused on battle (Champion's University), where they ended up studying subjects in their specific interests. Emmet took psychology of battle and Pokémon anatomy to learn about the weak points in trainers and Pokémon, and Ingo took general statistics and study of moves which are exactly what they sound like

The twins use the Vs Recorder all the time, both to track their own progress and to observe how passengers fight. It's often stuck to the glass windows to catch the Pokémon in the middle of the car, though they have considered buying Rotom Drones expressly for this purpose

Emmet actually has a stack of different studies on weak points in the human body but he doesn't share that with anyone, not even Ingo

Emmet's study of trainer psych has led to him often predicting tactics before they happen and dodging/countering them with his Pokémon. He often challenges himself to predict a person's team, moveset, and strategy based on appearance, gait, and body language, sharing his guesses with Ingo in case he makes any useful observations

Ingo and Emmet are possibly the first instance of causing "learned HCCM" in their Pokémon because after the training that they do together, the Pokémon have developed their own independent bloodlust and have started memorizing the move strategies that the twins have them use

Sometimes to celebrate fully completing a study on a particular set of Pokémon, the twins will eat one. This is mostly as a treat and an inside joke, but they will research what's in season/allowed and go hunt for one. Ingo is usually the one to catch it, and Emmet is the one to cook it. There's some really goofy shitposts about them going after pseudo-legendaries overseas, or Palkia's leg in Hisui

The twins can perform full medical care on any Pokémon and can often grind for hours nonstop since they can heal their teams themselves. They also save a lot on healing items this way

After releasing their diagnosis, the perception of the twins have gone in wildly different directions. Some people treat them as subhuman or as monsters, some people don't care, some people call them psycho yandere boys on twitter. Emmet tends to get more of the negative connotations, Ingo tends to get the more "positive" ones. Emmet also tends to get a lot of stares due to his restraint and status as a crazed fighter, which he pretends doesn't get to him

I think that's everything, I'm going to go collapse. Hope you guys enjoy 👍

#tw straitjacket #straitjacket #tw mental health #tw mental illness #submas #submas au #au #ingo #subway master ingo #ingo pokemon #nobori #emmet #subway master emmet #emmet pokemon #kudari #Version 1 is Emmet being absolutely deranged and Ingo getting him locked in the psych ward out of fear for his reputation and #Version 2 is Ingo being crazy and throwing Emmet under the bus when he almost gets discovered #for those who were wondering. Version 3 is best because they get to be obsessed and they drag each other further in together ♥ #honestly this probably outranks Severed for my riskiest AU so I wonder how this is gonna turn out #hope this won't be the end of my career #anyways fun fact: this song is inspired by an old submas song! #Maniac Man led to me making the first version‚ then eventually I kept sketching until we got here #oh I just remembered‚ there's one scene from this AU that I think would be really funny to draw #The subway gets an overcrowding warning one day because they're holding a special event and passengers keep coming in while the twins are o #they were STARVED for battles that day though‚ so they call a Code Indigo and essentially turn the Multi lines into a 2 on 6 to get through #more passengers faster. They were absolutely exhausted by the end but damn if they didn't have fun messing around with the passengers

[fernfreakingtastic]

If you're having a bad day but think you don't deserve someone or even yourself being nice to you:

Shane, even at his lowest, has the farmer want to see him and care about hearing how he's doing. Even when he was at his meanest/lowest points in the game, everyone that collectively put in the effort to see those hearts with him rise up knew what they were walking into. They still came by sometimes every single day they could to give him something they hoped he liked and talked to him to see how he was doing. They genuinely wanted to see him smiling and happy with his aunt and niece and get better. Whether platonically or romantically they care for him

You deserve your own farmer.

You deserve to treat yourself like how the farmer treats Shane when they're trying to get his heart events

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv shane #me having feelings when someone accurately describes why i love Shane #i dont like how if you marry him his room in the house is an utter mess with cans but honesty #i look at my room especially on my bad days with the pop cans i keep forgetting to recycle or at least get out of my room #and i remember Shane probably has bad days to #i'd check to help him try to keep it cleaned up whether just as a reminder or actually helping him #i wouldnt make him feel like shit but still call him out if it was needed #i need to be like the farmer and care about myself like i care about Shane #If i wanna see those blue chickens i need to give myself something i like that makes me happy #add on: i do still understand why some people dont like Shane and honestly? completely fine with that! they see him differently than i do #also yes hi im not dead im just 🌟tired but trying🌟

[taegularities]

🤍🫂🌹

#this is a very very soft announcement bc it might change (as you know me smh 🙄) #as some might remember i said like 1-2 months ago that id see how i feel about tumblr after cmi11.5 and see whether i want #to stay or close that chapter of my life! and i've been thinking about it a lotttt these days and i keep going back and forth #but i think depending on how everyone likes Entertainer it might be my last fic on here 🤍 #which again.. can change depending on my mood n motivation.. im also not saying this to get attention etc but to inform you where i stand :) #writing is just a looooot of effort and tumblr has been vvv quiet (i also think my blog has lost some relevance but that's okay!! things #move fast) #i have soooo many wips i love lol 😭 but im not sure if i have the energy to write 20-40k stuff when nobody's around anymore :( #but let's see how you like Entertainer bc im vvv excited for it!! 🥰 keep spreading love until then <3 #love you guys sm 🤍 #might delete since it's an unsure post.. just wanted those who see this or care to know 🫂

[1captainjordan4]

Starting my insane girly arc on AO3 and leaving ramble comments on my fav fics like i do in the tumblr tags

#This is based on 5 minutes or so #Where i got SO excited by an updated chapter for a fic im currently obsessed with #That i wrote a whole ass paragraph for them of me just screaming #And also with the promise im gonna reread their fic AGAIN FOR RHE 6TH TIME #JUST SO I CAN LEAVE MORE OF THOSE COMMENTS #I always been to afraid to post comments #Especially since i just go through the tags like a lunatic #BUT NOT ANYMORE NO FIC IS SAFE #NOT THE ONCE THAT HAVENT GOTTEN UPDATED IN FOREVER #OR RHE ONCE THAT ARE 2 YEARS OLD #Im hunting them for sports.... Im an art girly supporting my writer bros.... I love them so much #They keep me going fr fr #Jordan speaks #Remember when AO3 was down for 3 days??? I went clinically insane in that time

[alexcabotgf]

not to be true crime posting on main but i think i'm falling down the wm3 rabbit hole again

#xenia.txt #when i tell you this case keeps me up at night to this day #not even the murders themselves as much as the general public's reception to and opinions on the case 3 decades later like #i get why it;s always been so divisive especially after the pl docus came out (lots of opinions on those btw none of them are good #from the bottom of my heart fuck you joe berlinger and bruce sinofsky) #but it's truly baffling how no one is willing to do the research on what is arguably THE most well documented true crime case in recent #history like. everything that's ever been released to the general public is available online and i mean everything #you can find all the court files trial transcripts depositions interogation tapes aerial photos you name it it's out there for anyone with #internet connection to access at any and all hours of the day #and yet people are still foaming at the mouth fighting on reddit abt their innocence based off nothing but a couple of movies like #bffr with me right now!! almost every point the innocenters make can be easily debunked by scrolling through callahan for 15 minutes #'but they've been pushing for dna testing since their release so they can't be guilty' baby the case is closed! #it's been closed the second they took the plea. they can be striking under that courthouse and it still won't change a thing and they knowi #that's why they're pushing for it in the first place but that's just my opinion #^ and i say they but it's really only echols which makes a lot of sense to me personally #and if you want to talk abt dna testing let's talk abt the one that was done in 2011 and how the defense hurried to propose the plea as soo #as they got the results! let's talk abt those cause no one's ever seen them and i would very much like to #braga share the results the people want to know!! #makes me wonder which pieces of evidence they even submitted for that 2011 testing because if i'm remembering correctly #there was one that would've closed this case instantly and maybe that's why the results were never disclosed and the plea was rushed #but that's also just my opinion #and it's also interesting how the majority of people who have in fact deep dived into this case #(and i'm not talking abt big true crime youtubers as i'm very sceptical abt their research abilities) #all collectively lean towards guilty. much to think about #i was hoping someone would make another ~actually~ unbiased documentary for the 30th anniversary and go over all the case files #but i don't think that's even realistic at this point seeing as everyone and their mother has some sort of an opinion on this case #hbo deserves another lawsuit for this. they should've never won the first one in the first place #true crime tw

[cubesugarss]

cnstars hiiai impression translations!

first two are in the context of alkaloid, second two are keito lecture

tl notes and original text under cut

the phrase 一窍不通 (yī qiào bù tōng) - knows nothing is used several times across all slides to describe hiiro's inexperience

slide 1: hiiro says he keeps aira's words close to heart 至今 (zhì jīn) - to this day slide 2: 懵懵懂懂 (měng měng dǒng dǒng) - ignorant is also used to describe hiiro's inexperience, 迷茫 (mí máng) - confused/lost and 脆弱 (cì ruò) - fragile are used to describe hiiro's mental state after the incident with his brother slide 3: hiiro uses the phrase 拓宽眼界 (tà kuān yǎn jiè) - broaden horizons, 亲切 (qīn qiè) - kindly slide 4: 欲望 (yù wàng) - desire is used to describe hiiro's passion for learning, aira describes hiiro's practicing after lectures as 热衷 (rè zhōng) - (to be) keen on/eager to do so

original text

#hiiro amagi #aira shiratori #hiiai #enstars #i dont translate often so i apologize if the wording is confusing!! #and feel free to point out any mistakes #breathes heavily. the keeps close to heart to this day line absolutely destroyed me j was half crying while typing it out #hiiro hasn't mentioned that day specifically at all since it happened so seeing him finally say it is so. ragh #its not mentioned explicitly but i interpreted “those words he said to me” as The Lines from thermometry (mainstory ch 160) #EVEN TO THIS DAY!! TO THIS DAY!!!!!! HE WILL NEVER FORGET!!!!! #also the last line in aira -> hiiro keito lecture version kind of confused me #but i think its just aira being grateful that keito made him join keito lecture bc he is Not Very Good at school #and hiiro remembers everything they learn and can help him out even more #okay i need to do my actual homework now #bye bye #happy hiiai #⭑ tea rambles

[evansbby]

You guys I’m posting so many polls to get my engagement up but it’s not like how it used to be before 😂😭😂😂 ever since even before March when i took that month long break for Ramadan, my notifs were so dry n dead and it’s just not how it was before and i wish i could go back in time when everything was lit and fun but i just don’t know what happened it’s like everyone tuned out and then when i took that break, even more people tuned out and no one came back 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

#I hate it here 😭😭😭😭 #nobody wants to talk anymore #nobody wants to keep the fandom alive anymore #it’s so sad #I remember I’d get into bed all freshly showered ready for my pre sleep tumblr session lol #now i know there’s no point bc it’s just CRICKETS 🦗 #UGHHHJJJJH idk what to do yall im running out of poll ideas #and at first i did also post more of those mini Ari drabbles which got notes but like…. #the interaction level remains low #AHHHHHHH IDK MAN I NEVER HAD THIS PRIBLEM BEFORE #i however knew that when i started this blog that one day it would die out #and that day is coming soon i feel it #bro i even posted a snippet of the stepdad Ari thing and CRICKETS #😭😭😂😂😂🥲 #anyways #I’m gonna go play with my bratz dolls

[einsatzzz]

OC Crossovers (1/3): Tea Time with Myr and Lidija (@myrmyrtheorca 's OCs!) Kurumi may or may not be telling Lidija about shoujo manga while Myr is just chilling there and relaxing from the nice atmosphere.

#khr #khre #khr oc #oc #einart #ninomiya kurumi #khr killer whale #myr killer whale #lidija killer whale #myrmyrtheorca #ninomiya kanako #me trying to cope from the hell level temp that is a SEA country temp #by imagining it's around the transition of autumn to winter there #and they're having warm tea while discussing various topics in a kotatsu #i say while suddenly remembering how i opened the faucet earlier and the supposed cold running water is already preheated by the weather #ALSO THE 1/3 COUNTER IS FOR REAL THIS TIME I ALR HAVE 2 OTHER SKETCHES WITH OTHER FRIENDS' OCS PROCESSING IN GL4ZE RN #bc the other times i put a counter it didn't end up having a next part sdjfbsdfjhbds #also yeah those tea are csp 3d assets lmaooo if im gonna be fr here i only know how to draw beautiful wome--- i mean people #plus my body pain is flaring like crazy the past few days i keep passing out #so i can't do full colored pieces too much ueueueue #BODY PAIN WON'T STOP ME FROM DRAWING OCS THO #anyway i hope i was able to draw myr and lidija correctly; did my best to do so sdjfshjvf they're so 🥹🥹💖💖 #i esp think lidija and kurumi would get along a lot #then myr would often get caught off guard by kurumi's compliments hehe #kana is just sizing them up and observing from afar; she's just very wary like that #wow im glad they do those “see more” thingie for tags so i can go free real estate in here

[pcktknife]

anxiety is so mean there was a short portion of time (like 3 days max maybe) at my job where my mouth would get really dry (and in turn so would my throat) bc I was nervous and so I would end up just trying to keep down an uncontrollable cough to the point I would start crying and my eyes would sting so I couldn't see and it always only ever happened when every customer in the state was up at the front so now I look like I'm Sick and I'm Not around all these ppl and it would be so so embarrassing I'd just end up getting even more nervous 😭

#im going to bed but i just remembered that. horrible awful affliction #one of those days i managed to keep it cool until it happened at the very end of my shift and a lady asked me for help and i was like #'yeah sure 👍🏾' (literally dying) and i had to excuse myself in the middle of that #and then the guy who was pickin up my shift for me came in and while i was waiting to clock out she found me AGAIN to ask for help and i was #like 'yeah ok' AGAIN (still dying) it was so bad #biggest fear is making a scene in public and it happened multiple times 🗿 my luck is like that tho #kae.txt

[frazzledazzlin]

post-fic fanart for this fic by flamingredanon lets GO i was yelling when i saw the tag "up to the reader to decide what happens" SO!! I DID DECIDE!! THIS!!

#i switched forget-me-nots' meaning here by implying those were keeping RHM back from remembering. #so the daffodils blooming represent rebirth as is! but the forgetmenots wilting means he's actually remembering now #hey humans made up meanings and i as human can change them meanings riiiiight #scriboozles #ANWAYS YEAH THE FIC IS GREAT ITS SHORT N NICE I LOVE IT LOTS . LEFT ME SOBBING #I STILL HAVE THE FOLLOW-UP-FIC COMIC IN THE WORKS FOR THIS #i am putting that beside the other drawings that will take a little more time than usual #so i can whip out the smaller drawing ideas ive been getting these days mein gott #the henry stickmin collection #thsc #copperright #reginald copperbottom #right hand man reborn #rhm

[rohirric-hunter]

.

#i mean obviously im disappointed as well that lotros down #but like. the entitlement??? of the people on the forums? #i keep going back to the forums to check for updates and i keep seeing people swearing theyre not gonna renew their vip #which i mean. it shouldnt upset me this much because ill bet anything that they will anyway #but theyre saying this because its down for one day? one day? #its up and running the other 364 days of the year but ONE day of unscheduled downtime and the sky is falling #these people would not have survived in the early days of the internet #remember when you couldnt be on the internet if someone was on the phone? #these people would not have survived before the internet #when in order to be entertained you had to *gasp* go somewhere #that was only open at certain times and on certain days #the internet is bypassing natural selection. this is bad for us as a species #i think in a few days im gonna make a post that will piss so many people off #about the fact that there is so little lag in this game actually #anyone who complains about constant lag doesnt know to troubleshoot their computer or isp #because the issue is basically always one of those things for me #(i just want to piss people off because its the same people you know.) #(they complain about lag and other things outside of the devs control constantly and then also threaten to cancel their vip constantly)

[rotisseries]

I'm so fucking tired of the byler deepfake audios can we admit they don't sound like mike and will and it's actually just really uncanny? I can't stand hearing it I'm so sorry

#I keep getting videos on tiktok with them #I remember a post going around the other day like “oh everyone needs to hear this it's what a byler confession would sound like!!” #and i listened to it and initially was like “wtf???” and then after the first line I was like “no. no that's wrong. those aren't my guys” #it sounds so off #feel like someone who likes those audios is gonna accuse me of being the fun police. so disclaimer #it's fine if you like them obviously I just hate it so much and I like bitching and I can't be the only one who feels this way #stranger things #byler

[nebulouscoffee]

Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this

#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to) #I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky #I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine #and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve #and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn #I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky #(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things) #(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe) #anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D #I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one #even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends #how do Trills even exist #how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now #and still function #how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her #does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically? #does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now? #does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day? #does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more? #idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually... #(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao) #cw death