#i just need to keep going

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

Life is hard and you’re spiralling but then your sister makes you breakfast in bed, french toast with chocolate and pistachio spreads

*takes a deep breath*

#Alhamdulilah #I just need to keep going #star speaks

[wandering-einheri]

I will become the strongest of my living relatives

#i already have a decent start #i just need to keep going

[jslittlebirdie]

I got a little boost of motivation. If I pass all the courses this semester, I only need to take four more, then write my master's thesis and hopefully my studies will be finished. Maybe things will change already next year. A girl can dream, right?

#I feel so terribly stressed and burnt out #but I have a bit of hope #I just need to keep going #just a bit more... #reminder to myself #sue talks #personal stuff #my life as a master student

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[noonblight]

.

#god I’m so tired of being homeless #being on a disability pension sucks #I’m never going to get to be married someday and probably won’t even get a place to stay at this rate #the care facility I’m in is temporary stay only #and accessible housing is rarely offered #the mental toll is so much I can barely even process stuff emotionally #sorry to vent on main but fml I’m so exhausted #i just want a safe home to do art in #i was supposed to finally be volunteering this time #now I’ve got a temporary roof over the head and that’s it #I’m so tired so so tired #what if I never get to transition either #i feel too sick to even think about what the rest of my life is gonna look like #i just need to keep going #fuck the government

[notherpuppet]

Just some 📻 🍎 doodles

#i need to go to sleep so desperately #but then I just keep drawing #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #alastor #lucifer #radioapple #appleradio #my doods

[stoopidstapler]

SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.

#simon petrikov #fionna and cake #adventure time #goin insane over him #thers no words to describe how im feelin #i wish i could draw somehtin better but i am goin INSANE #FINALLY. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. we are being FED. #ALSO?? HOW THEY SHOWED HIM EXACTLY WHEN THE LYRICS GO ''WHATS WRONG WITH ME'. LIKE HELLO??????? #ive seen so many good theories PLEASE GOD WRITE FICS I AM BEGGIN I LL DRAW U FANART BLS HEL P #IDK WOT IM GONNA DO FOR A WHOLE MONTH #SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT TIL THE 31ST. HIBERNATE ME. HELP. #also i need to put it out there the first thing i thought when i saw this trailer was simon is tryina rewrite fionna and cake #which is why their world keeps changin so much? idk idk #ive seen so many different ideas and they are all so good please help #ALSO GOD. THIS MAN IS JUST GOIN THRU IT. AND ITS ONLY BEEN A QUICK TRAILER. #im sorry for so many tags idk where to put these help #maybe i should make an actual blog for like. whatever. n reblogs. help.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice

#jeeves and wooster #i want to watch tumblr go rabid i want to watch ao3 overflow with jeeves/wooster fanfiction #yes obviously the fandom EXISTS but it's a cozy little neighborhood #a handful of talented artists and writers doing their best to keep their charming little village going #but i'm tired of cozy i want this fandom TRENDING #I WANT TO SEE THIS ON MY DASHBOARD PEOPLE #i swear to you if they made a shiny new tv series tumblr would absolutely obsess over these characters. good omens levels of obsession #it's just such a great dynamic! the good-natured overly-trusting bumbling idiot in constant need of rescuing! #the stoic all-knowing genius who quietly masterminds mayhem in order to protect this one moron he's devoted himself to for some reason #jeeves as a morosexual is just such a beautiful interpretation of the original text #wooster as a happy-go-lucky himbo who stumbles his way into a relationship with a protective caring and supremely competent mastermind #the angst and social complexities of a same-sex cross-class relationship in turn-of-the century london! #oh AND half the stories are about jeeves helping wooster get out of engagements/desperately avoid marriage #two men who live together constantly scheming to maintain their bachelorhood. this is quite literally the main plot point #the gay subtext is there! the gay subtext is there and very ripe for picking!!! #this thing is LOCKED AND LOADED we can pounce literally any time

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[ridiculousmaddancer]

Implementing Library Proposal

Alright, I reached out to the assemblyman that serves my area and also the supervisor for my district. I hope they get back to me.

I shared my idea on how to expand library resources. I really want advice and support on how to implement this idea. I think the next step is to present my idea to the MHSA(Mental Health Services Act) Steering Committee.

#Aahhhh! #Sorry just trying to accomplish things and it is frightening #I know I can do this #i just need to keep going #ridiculousmaddancer

[batcatsle]

the story of humanoid typhoon and the punisher

here we are on this platform too, heh

#never getting over them #vashwood #vash the stampede ur my everything #wolfwood give me my heart back #trigun #trimax #guys #i need a break but they won't let me go because i still keep drawing them and this work is just a distraction from what i prepared

[egophiliac]

some (extremely) quick doodles to celebrate the glorious return of glorious masquerade! I haven't had a chance to do much personal drawing lately, but I didn't want to let it go by without doing something!

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #glorious masquerade #every time they do a rerun event they should make everyone's hats bigger #i feel that this should be true of every game #i think eng might be getting it this year? if so someone PLEASE tell me if they keep the 'be cool' line #the only localization that matters to me #meanwhile aside from foxman and catboy our halloween event this year is shrouded in mystery #i know they want to do a big fancy announcement and i am looking forward to it! #but it is pretty hilarious to look at the schedule and see basically just 'halloween event 2023 - wait for the abema' #look twst i just want to know if i need to save my keys or if i can waste them all in another bid at masquerade malleus #how pretty are the cards going to be. i need to know.

[turtleblogatlast]

AU where Leo is trapped in the Prison Dimension for months instead of minutes and the only way he gets by with his sanity intact is through recording himself talking to his wrist comm.

When they finally manage to get Leo back and make him rest up to heal, Donnie can’t help but listen to the recordings left behind.

He’s not sure what exactly he’s expecting, only that his subconscious is screaming at him that it has to be heartbreaking, that it has to be torturous.

Instead, what Donnie is subject to is a full thousand hours’ worth of Jupiter Jim and Lou Jitsu crossover fanfiction. More than one part in the series. Spanning well over a million words.

(The worst part is that it’s actually good.)

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #donnie keeps the comms going on in the background as he works #when he gets to the end he’s like what the hell…where’s the rest #donnie: leo where’s part nine #leo barely cognizant after not needing sleep for months: whuh- #donnie: you can’t leave it at a cliffhanger. leo. leo where’s the next part. #listen leo has a great memory for his special interests this is CANON plus he’s a great talker so he would totally be able to do this frfr #whenever he needs to be quiet he’s SILENT but otherwise he’s regaling the exploits of his idols to the captive audience that is The Photo #sometimes Krang sneaks up on him and just listens to him talk like ???? #it starts both as leo trying to comfort himself with his favorite things PLUS comfort himself with thoughts of his father #as splinter makes his own crossover fanfiction when sick lol plus he’s Literally Lou Jitsu #and yes krang ALSO gets a bit invested #leo notices the reduction of Ouch but hey more time for rambling fanfic for him 👍 #idk leo’s a damn good actor/liar/planner/schemer and I genuinely think that can pivot into storytelling so well #the literal second mikey’s hands heal donnie zooms to his side with hand stabilizers and a request to draw ‘scene 82 from recording 3’ #mikey’s like what #so obvs now HE needs to listen as he works #he too gets invested #he comes across raph who mentions having trouble sleeping #mikey: have I got the podcast fanfic for you! #it only somewhat helps raph sleep #somewhat bc sometimes he forces himself to stay awake to hear the rest #yes these recordings go to the whole fam and leo is none the wiser #they don’t even mean to hide it it just never comes up lol #it’s only when donnie FINALLY makes it to the end of the recordings that he confronts leo to continue the story #leo: oH YOU HEARD ALL THAT HUH-

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Enki S Ending: God Blocking Gambit

#fear and hunger #enki ankarian #rher #fear and hunger spoilers #He showed up in the ugliest outfit ever and still served cunt. #Everything about him is so indirectly funny to me. #He canceled his own crucifixion to make sure *he* was the blonde bitch of the non-specific prophecy! #The old gods are running a gambit of trapping humanity in a perpetual timeloop? Just say “Um. No <3” #“Humanity will always be tempted by power and will be tricked into false godhood.” Skill issue. #(Yes I know rher isn't there in the first game but I needed one of the old gods in this comic and...he is the easiest to draw.) #Part of me wants to keep going and sillify the other S endings. Much to think about.

[twinstxrs]

just now realized that kristen started off fantasy high choosing the path of doubt & uncertainty by choosing to go with the bad kids. for unrelated reasons i need to lie down forever.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #the bad kids #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #feel like one of those ms paint type stick drawings covered in blood & tears. THE BAD KIDS 😭😭😭 #kristen was offered the certain path and chose to walk through the trees GODDDD #maybe fantasy high is just choosing to walk through the forest with your friends. for your friends. #i fr need to go to bed but like. oh my god. #‘​keep going’ or whatever #sorry for being dramatic i listened to televangelism by ethel cain when thinking about kristen & lucy & the bad kids so. yea

[aflockofravens]

Also, Jinshi in "How to Buy Out a Contract" was hilarious.

Do you think he's prettier than me

I was contemplating your murder but my future wife cat thinks you'll make a good brother in law so I'll let you live

My future wife cat trusts you, so I trust you. Don't fuck it up.

Have some money to leave my future wife alone forever go marry her sister

Did you see that Gaoshun? I did a socializing. Do you think Maomao will be proud of me?

Also Lihaku is precious. What an adorable golden retriever of a man. He went from absolute disdain at Maomao when she approached him for an escort to being like "help me little sister, I'm in love".

#Maomao and Lihaku's relationship development has been delightful #i like to think they genuinely like each other they're just too emotionally stunted to know how to say it properly #it started out as a mutually beneficial arrangement where they both got something they wanted from it #but Lihaku didn't have to keep her in the loop about the secondary warehouse theft #and Maomao didn't need to put in a good word with Pairin even if she thought they'd be a good match #i think they're friends #and i think this is constantly going to vex Jinshi for the rest of his life lol #Maomao: Jinshi you're the most jealous man I know #Jinshi: you know other men?! 😭😭😭 #the apothecary diaries #jinshi #maomao #lihaku #my last remaining brain cell