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emo-eyemakeup-evildude · 5 months

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excuse me how did you ALMOST DIE the day after being born

OH BOY BUCKLE UP I LOVE TELLING THIS STORY

So my mom had some false contractions and the doctors wanted her to come in but assured her she wouldn't be admitted. She was and they wouldn't let her leave until she gave birth. And since she came in BEFORE she was in active labor they used up all of the insurance covered days for childbirth. So the hospital kicked us out almost immediately after I was born even though my parents were like hey. Can we just like. Pay out of pocket. And the hospital said no lol gtfo

there was also some fucking nonsense about giving my mom a C section because her labor wasn't progressing fast enough (gee I wonder why) and fed is best vs breast is best discourse where they didn't want her to take me home before her milk came in (which can take DAYS after delivery) but insurance wouldn't pay for us to stay and also hey infants need to eat BUT

My parents took me home and tried to get over the bullshit of the hospital stay. However they only did the barest of newborn checks since the insurance company had us kicked out of the hospital and it turns out as is incredibly common with newborns uh oh my liver wasn't working right yet!!! One of my parents' dogs, a huge beautiful German shepherd, was like "uh hey y'all's new puppy is dying" and

JUMPED UP INTO MY CRIB AND GRABBED ME

Luckily for me my dad was right outside my room and he told the dog to leave it so he put me down oh so gently

Directly onto the floor furnace

So now I had 1. Jaundice 2. Two puncture marks in my back from dog teeth 3. A head wound from being placed on the floor furnace

And my parents went OH MY FUCKING GOD THE FUCKING BABY and went back to the hospital.

Then there was even more bullshit about how they couldn't feed me because I might have to go into surgery and I was like 24 hours old and had never eaten in my life. And also somehow a bleeding newborn baby with torso and head trauma and major organ failure was NOT a priority that day so eventually my parents said yeah fuck this and managed to feed me.

When I was finally seen by a medical professional that was not a dog they said oh yeah no prob and gave me a few stitches and put me in the liver incubator and I was fine.

However I have two giant scars on my back and half of an eyebrow from my face scar. My parents told me it was a birthmark my entire childhood until after my mom died and then I got to hear the whole story

#tumblr is mad at me and won't let me edit this any further lol I hope this posts as legible at all #whenever I try to type it adds another blank line to the end of the post #webbed especially for me

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beepartcollection · 1 year

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hee hoo elden ring au elden ring au nothing goes right for the mercs in it because that’s how it be in a soulslike they got isekai’d into the lands between except when they die they die

first image is medic and sniper on horseback, medic lost his legs to deathblight al la how sorcerer rogier did but the mercs obviously dont want to abandon him, so he gets to ride horseback and supply buffs and heals and crossbow (literal one not the medic one) shots and sniper is there for the mobility and to guard medic. second image is the end stage of deathblight. third image is what i think soldier would do, he’d discover dragon incantations and go fucking ham with them, he can do more than shout, he can roar. Fourth image is what I think Spy would be doing. Varre would likely coax him into becoming a war surgeon, which then leads to him leaving the team to find his own way to get the team home. everyone of course thinks he’s left them. Then a comic about what happens when you do dragon communion.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #elden ring au #beepartcollection #these things have been rattling in my brain for DAYS and i had to draw it #i hope my handwriting is legible btw lol #tf2 medic #tf2 engineer #tf2 soldier #tf2 heavy #tf2 sniper #tw death

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kideternity · 1 month

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[Image ID: Four digital ink drawings of digimon Neodevimon, Helloogarmon, Starman and Oboromon. Neodevimon is a skinny humanoid with long hair and extremely long clawed arms covered in bandages up to the forearm, tattered devil wings with a spike at the top of both, wearing a horned mask with six eyes, zipped collar, shoulder pad on the left arm, leather straps around both shoulders, with a bare upper body that is imbedded with circular embellishments across the chest to the stomach and right shoulder, and baggy pants with coffin shaped kneepads and strappy heeled boots that have two spikes at the toe. Their pose is a mid action type pose where they are looking to the side. Helloogarmon is a large canine esque bipedal monster made of fire with an open skeletal maw fill of prominent teeth- they have skeletal spikes sticking out of their back, and skeletal claws as well. They have a long tail with a tail skeleton showing through it, and bandages around both upper arms and around their lower body ending at the toes. They are in a hunched position. Starmon is a star shaped being with a gem in the middle of their top spike, and in the middle of their star shaped body is a small dark oddly shaped face opening showing two eyes. They have long strap covered arms and legs- they are wearing big gloves and boots as well, with both having straps and metal stud embellishments, as well as a star patch on each. They are wearing a tattered scarf, and are in an energetic action pose, surrounded by small star scribbles. Oboromon is an undead being wearing a conical hat with long horns coming through- their hair is short and choppy, and their face is covered in bandages. They have exposed teeth and shadowed eyes, and are wearing a tattered scarf. Their sleeves are tattered as well and different lengths- on the right side, they have an ornamental shoulder pad and samurai esque armour piece, and their right arm is a giant horse like skull with a sword coming out of the mouth. Their left arm is humanoid and covered in bandages. Their entire ribcage and spine is exposed, which ends in a large rotund mass of smoke with a warped face on it. There is more tattered fabric coming from their right shoulder, and they are covered and surrounded by arrows and pieces of paper. /End Image ID]

Go go digital monsters

#digimon #digital monsters #digimon fanart #dinu yells into the void #dinu yells in the void #dinu's sketchy art #neodevimon #starmon #oboromon #helloogarmon #hello digi community…#this isnt my first time drawing digimon #but its the first time i wanted to be a bit vain and post it on tumblr lol #theres no particular reason why i chose these digimon #outside of theyre all gonna be used in my digi oc verse #which i might one day share. one day #theyre all just mons i generally liked and where i wanted to try out drawing some of the more weirder / monstery designs #i plan on drawing more mons and maybe ill share those drawings too. but for rn. have at theee #ask to tag #edit: i just realised i forgor Neodevis arm spikes WHOOPS. oh well. next time im not editing that fucking drawing #also sorry if the image id is bad #never image ided digimon before i hope its legible / accurate

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everendbsart · 1 year

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Februabba day 12 - Secrets / Rain

I always thought Bucciarati would push Abbacchio away in their last days, after his body dies, because he knows otherwise Abbacchio will find out he's dead, and I guess he feels like being distant from him now will make it easier for Abbacchio to deal with his death when he's gone. (It won't).

@heritage-februabba

Comic text:

I know he's noticed me avoiding him, ever since Giorno and I faced the Boss in Venice.

"Ah—sorry Leone, I—"

"I just need some space right now."

Of course it hurts, being so cold to him. . .

"Leone?"

"STOP!"

"You should be sleeping in your own room, Abbacchio."

. . .

"Oh."

"It's for your own good."

"Right."

*click*

But I have to be. I can't let him know—

how cold I've really become.

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2hoothoots · 2 years

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returning to my roots (doodle comics of the interns)

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #i asked my sister (english lit teacher) to recommend me pretentious poetry #so norma is reading from T. S. Eliot's Preludes #trying very hard to make this audio gag work in a written format lol. i hope the joke is like legible regardless

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svtskneecaps · 7 months

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qsmp ghost investigator au dump

here is everything i spitballed into my sibling's texts. apparently their discord was "thriving on it". i'll divide this into categories and attempt to format it as reader friendly as possible. god almighty i hope the keep reading below this paragraph works

CHARACTER HEADCANONS:

there's a main investigative squad formed by roier, cellbit, fic, pac, and tubbo

roier is in charge of their social media accounts

mike is their former college roommate who they constantly bring up and declare has died, except every time he comes up the way he died was different. he's actually a really successful movie producer (or something) so one time they do a live stream for a milestone celebration and in the last ten seconds mike comes flying out of the left side with ghost stage makeup and tackles pac off the side of the screen and they never address this publicly. any time someone asks what happened to pac they answer "who's pac" including pac

cellbit gets extremely disappointed when the perp isn't supernatural

roier is thrilled when the perp isn't supernatural because the peter parker in him loves taking the piss on a billionaire publicly

fit has photographic memory (à la canon screenshots)

pac is extremely good at breaking and entering

cellbit is an old fashioned polaroid kind of guy bc digital cameras don't capture ghost evidence as clearly

roier swears by digital photos bc he likes photoshop (he carries rolls of film with him in case cellbit runs out)

fit has an auto shop. tubbo and ramón work in this auto shop. this is a headache for everyone involved but at least the auto shop was already a thin disguise for experimenting with homemade pyrotechnics so things exploding isn't a big deal

whenever the team has to do a distraction, the only two options are 1) manipulation 2) explosion

when they get caught in a bad spot, pac plays on sympathy, roier plays dumb, tubbo plays along, cellbit pretends to belong, and fit uno reverses

they commissioned jaiden for their logo. she also beta reads the scripts

richarlyson works for mike. sometimes he joins the investigation crew as a cameraman on loan. fans have learned to recognize when richas is behind the camera because the camera doesn't shake when the monster of the week appears because homeboy does not fear death. cellbit knows mike will end his bloodline if anything happens to richas (and would probably end his OWN bloodline) so he tends to be double stressed when richas is behind the camera

the team has a house, courtesy of mike, because god knows a ghost hunter's salary probably can't pay for one

bagi belongs to a "rival" investigation group. she and cellbit talk MAD shit every time they're in the same room. they are also both incredibly fucking smart and often end up working together to crack the tough cases while continuing to smack talk each other

bad is also in the rival investigative group. he is very clearly a demon. this is never commented on.

skeppy is a ghost except bad is the only one who can see him. anyone who calls skeppy imaginary is shouted down by bagi. bagi also believes skeppy is imaginary

tina is the safety net / brawn for bagi's team. she trains in hand to ghost hand combat with etoiles because she is Not Human and can punch ghosts. bagi does not know this and she just thinks tina's super cool and super talented and super badass. tina definitely thinks bagi has realized she is Not Human but they haven't like had a conversation about it but bagi's super smart sooooo

dapper is the "guy in the chair" for the rival investigation team. bad tends to ask a question into a radio (or seemingly to thin air) and immediately get the answer via text. sometimes cellbit will wonder something aloud about various ghost types or signs ("they heard scratching in the attic, so that could be caused by--") and almost immediately get cut off by bad's text tone as bad reads aloud dapper listing off three paranormal options as well as potential structural problems and rodents having an extremely fun night, at which point bad cuts himself off with "LANGUAGE" or "OUT OF POCKET"

the main team thinks dapper is just short until they realize that no, dapper is actually like 14. bad's like WHY DO YOU THINK THEY STAY IN THE VAN???

baghera makes and posts music and consults for bagi's team. cellbit is scared of her and also desperately wishes he could poach her for his own team but she only answers jaiden's calls

pomme has a ghost gun. it was a gift from etoiles. she accidentally took foolish's head off with it one time. his head grew back and that was how they learned he was Not Made of Meat. this was not particularly surprising, because bad is still her part time dad. it still scared the crap out of pomme the first time it happened because the ghost gun SHOULD only work on ghosts but foolish is in a weird enough state of undead that he qualified.

foolish was thrilled to have a spare head, hence "the first time"

vegetta is a famous architect. he calls foolish to ask which paranormal team he should consult on whether a property is haunted, because vegetta trusts his partner of unspecific relationship's judgement, considering foolish is Not Human. foolish's answer usually depends on how spiteful he feels towards tina and bad at the time of the call

bonus, i really want maximus involved in one team or the other but since he hasn't interacted with bagi yet i can't decide his role or anything concrete. but just know that's in my brain.

EPISODES (in no particular order:

foolish summons bad during a sleepover with tina and then thinks it'll be funny to summon paranormal investigators (bad also thinks it's funny). they decide to play a game of "can the investigators figure out who's the immortal". it is revealed to the audience in the end of the ""episode"" once all the investigators have left that all three of them are immortal. bad and foolish devolve into yet another argument over which one of them won based on a win condition they somehow came up with and agreed on without ever consulting each other. tina was actually the winner. roll credits.

quackity owns a casino. he hires the team to look into some demonic activity his patrons have been reporting. he spends the entire investigation and episode demanding they find the demon and exorcise the demon and generally shittalking the demon. they spend the entire episode questioning more and more how quackity's casino stays in business as everything they learn about it and him does not inspire confidence. it is revealed that ironmouse is the demon and is also singlehandedly keeping the casino in business because she fucking loves gambling. quackity immediately changes his tune.

antoine calls the team because he's KINDA worried by the latitude and longitude he keeps finding on the walls at the company he works at, written in what looks suspiciously like blood. unbeknownst to them, bagi's team was ALSO contacted, by baghera. they eventually discover the recipient of the messages is etoiles. after an incident at his previous employment he is half ghost and can now fight ghosts. the messages were from an entity that attacks things when it gets bored and it may as well fight etoiles because etoiles is the only one who has beat it so far. they meet in various back alleys and restaurant parking lots to go at it and get drinks afterward. the entity has no idea how to speak any modern languages but Fighting is Universal.

pierre is a wine baron and claims there's a unicorn who watches over his family's vineyard. it's been part of the brand since inception and it's taken mostly as propaganda and old legend until people start actually catching glimpses of a unicorn around the vineyard and the rumor starts to spread until roier "investigative journalist and old money hater" drags the team to go on a tour of the production line in hopes of blowing the case wide open. fit, pac, and tubbo are in charge of distractions while cellbit and roier sneak away to explore the vineyard and track the unicorn.

the unicorn is pierre. roier ends up finding this hilarious and while his journalistic spirit cannot allow him to NOT expose that the unicorn is fake, he ends up calling it "a white horse with a taped-on horn" instead of the face of the company in a fursuit. pierre sends the team wine periodically as thanks and also because roier still has a picture of him in a unicorn costume in the woods.

fit and pac do a wine tasting together.

wilbur contacts them because ghost slime has taken up residence in the guest bathroom and while his daughter insists slime is part of the family, phil is coming with his son (chayanne) to stay with them for a festival or something and wilbur doesn't feel like getting roasted by the middle schooler who is his brother because the bathroom smells like algae and wet dog so he needs the team to babysit slime until phil leaves town. slime spends the entire time going through windows and walls with no warning and scaring the piss out of everyone. one time he was in the cabinet when cellbit was going in to make his midnight coffee and his scream sent everyone in the house into emergency mode. roier would have FULLY put slime through the wall if slime were corporeal. lucky for slime, and their wall, slime is not.

jaiden works at an escape room and her boss reaches out to the team because he is FED UP with some paranormal entity that keeps drawing on walls and moving shit around and throwing things and tripping him and he wants it GONE. jaiden is extremely fond of bobby and bobby is extremely fond of HER, so she reaches out to the team and asks them to NOT do that and just pretend or something. so the team goes in and pretends to investigate and stuff. roier and bobby feud in the background. by the end of the episode they're besties.

the episode concludes, shockingly, with the boss and bobby gaining grudging respect for each other. somehow. the boss threatens to reveal bobby's existence to the internet at large as a publicity stunt every time bobby trips him in the hallway but never actually does. bobby stops throwing things at him (as much). the themeing of the rooms shift so the drawings and moving objects fit in. the boss is mariana.

from this episode on bobby periodically appears in the team's house, because it's my au and i make the ghost rules

END OF SEASON:

the end season villain is a guy who ran the biggest corporation in the world who died under mysterious circumstances. the corporation has a duck mascot for no reason in particular hahahaha. they're a company like nesquick or aquafina or amazon or something yknow REAL assholes.

the team is contracted by the billionaire's nephew (forever) who took over the business when he died and is extremely overwhelmed by 1) running a business on this scale and 2) all the paranormal bs happening in his office (which is where the former CEO died). he also happens to be cellbit's ex. this is highly awkward.

because i hate billionaires but like forever, let's say forever was contacted by the villain solely because the CEO does NOT want any of his immediate underlings to get the company and thus only reveals his blood relation to forever IN HIS WILL. except forever is A Good Dude and is trying to grasp the full scope of the company's corruption and dismantle the shitty practices while still keeping the employees paid, despite his only business experience being his current position of running a boardwalk/beach. this ends up being the cause of the paranormal activity: the CEO is panicking now that forever is trying to 'ruin his company'.

the episode ends with the CEO briefly succeeding in possessing forever, and the combined forces of the ghost teams bring him back and send the CEO to hell.

somehow the billionaire is involved in or mentioned during previous episodes.

#qsmp #qsmp au #qsmp paranormal investigators au #shut up vic #block game brainrot #do i tag every person who appears in this #i'll tag within reason #qsmp cellbit #qsmp roier #qsmp fit #qsmp pac #qsmp bagi #i think those are the people whose names i mentioned the most #i can think of a couple people who i'd want to spotlight in an episode (antoine) but i can't think of anything concrete in terms of plot lo #i'm setting this au free go wild #like i said earlier i can cook but i can't plate the meal #this will not be made a full length fic by my hand you must be the change you want to see #(please i ask you put my user in a note somewhere if you directly use the concepts here lol and also give me a link to it i want it gimme)#god i hope the formatting is legible i can't really send this to be beta read

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