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emerxshiu · 1 month

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tw: slight body horror, not much but it still is kinda there (also forgotten land spoilers)

Gemini Reunion

rlly long ramble next cuz i love talking why i did this and that and every detail unfortunately---

WAAAAAAAAHH this is definitly going into my top 3 favourite drawings i made, i didnt think it would end up like this!

i originally had a very simple idea, and well, i can never help myself with overdoing it can i? bad thing is i finished it around 5 am aka i barely slept, but i dont mind it at all, i just have been stupidly motivated to draw like i cant just put my tablet or pencil down for too long. fun fact: this was inspired by a fanart for something unrelated, but it reminded me of fecto and elfilin, and it ended up looking nothing like the inspiration lol

also if you've seen my other posts, yeah, that orb up there is indeed reused from another of my drawings, albeit edited to fit more here, the wings were just sketched as a silly thing, i wasnt planning to keep em but i really liked them. and those dots and lines at the very bottom are morse code indeed.

the two like, things that are between orb and fecto forgo are inspired by the weird like tentacles it uses to absorb the beastpack and elfilin, and also from antares, elfili's spear/cadaceus.

i really need to learn how to actually draw feet, ok i know that the only there is elfilin's with the sock but i actually drew the other one before i decided to make it melt into forgo, talking about melting, i only was going to do around the face, more specifically that chunk you see between its right arm and elfilin's hair was the only one i was really going to have, but then, i made it so the other side of forgo's face is also merging a bit with the hair, and then have one of the fingers of the other hand melt into the neck, and then the end of the tail and then parts of elfilin's legs.

elfilin is doing sign lenguage, it means help, poor guy.

also i really like changing elfilin's hair a bit to show how he feels, like, for example, i sketched him full so the little ahoge he has was also there, but like more stiff to show his fear, but had to erase it due to forgo, i also like doing this with the braid he has, if its like how i tend to draw it, then he a-ok! but here its very much almost undone to show his discomfort, and if its literally not even resembling a braid anymore, just like fully loose, either he was sleeping and the braid was anoying (i cant undestand people who sleep with their hair tied up, its way too uncomfortable), or he's like, really really like not there, like, um bad. i also made his tail a bit sharper and messy than usual.

that light orang-y thing sprouting from elfilin's forehead is based on the horns that fecto elfilis has, fecto forgo also has one here on the opposite side, but that one is more inpired from the horn coming out of leongar's head in the fecto forgo bossfight (yknow the chimera with like amalgamation and stuff)

also, forgo's tail is usually like, folded just like game but sometimes i like to like, extend it? (dunno how to explain) to have more expression and also for it to take more space cuz if its was like normal, it would only really have the upper part and a bit more visible since most of it is behind elfilin. also its not very visible but elfilin has the veins forgo has two in his chipped ear.

i was also going to use the blue eye scheme from when it fist opens its eyes for forgo but decided to go with the ones it has in isolated isles when morpho appears, mostly because they resemble the eyes of the beast pack when it absorbs them, and this drawing is very much inspired by those two cutscenes (Sudden metamorphosis and Gemini reunion ^▾^) i honestly dont know wich one to use for all forgo drawings ill make next, since in that cutscene it looks blue, but its body also looks blue, but its actually pink as indicated by the figurine and cutscenes in isolated isles and the chimera form, and also if you go out of bounds, lab discovera just has an effect that makes it all more blueish, so i dont know if the yes were actually like that or just the effect. i might alternate between them since i still like the blue option, it matches with elfilin.

also talking about forgo, i think it came out particularly very cute here, wich might add to the somethings off feeling, i mean it depends on who you ask.

the part at the bottom with like green and blue is based on the eternal capsule, it doesnt have bubbles in game, but it was to make it more obvious, and also because it looked nice to me.

you can probably decipher what it says at the sides without having to say it, i think its very much engraved into every kirby fan at this point, or at least, fecto elfilis/forgo/elfilin fans

i also made a version with the text in red cuz i couldnt decide, but now i like more the whiter version

i even made a version in yellow, but i stopped liking that one before i even saved it.

also elfilin still has the id-f87 in his neck, its just hard to see, forgo too has the 86 but you cant really see its neck, because i didnt draw it lol

fun fact 2:

i saved it up to 7 times in different files cuz i DID NOT WANT MY PC TO GO KABOOM. im still a bit scared to have lots of layers in a big canvas since the anniversary drawing for forgotten land, it did not explode but it went extremely slow, here at least the canvas was much much smaller, and the reason was mostly in case i need to delete something to not have as many layers or in case i wanna go back, i like to have backups of my drawings, aka a version with all layers that i can edit (.mdp, the file for firealpaca, for example for sai 2 it was .sai2, ah im remembering my sai days now) and a png file to post and also if i wanna look at my drawings.

if you are wondering why its called devilstrain [number] its because i was listening to that song while drawing and didnt know what to name it, in fact im actually listening to it rn as i write this, i really like it

i have some drawings started, mostly a chaos elfilis one, i think i already mentioned in a past post, i think im gonna stop that list i mentioned too since im feeling really motivated, maybe next time i feel bad about my drawings i can continue it, ah my eyes are hurting since yesterday wah

thank you if you decided to read my very unnecessary and annoying long ramblings, and also thanks if you didnt and just looked at the drawings, its undertandable (mucho texto i know)

Jambuhbye!

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fanofthelamb · 1 month

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So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)

Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.

A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)

if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)

for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this

vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)

I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.

fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)

yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.

drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums

more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.

[no context]

kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.

another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.

unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.

i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it

brear and nobre <333

im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.

so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!

sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with

i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3

unused from an ask

heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3

dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3

another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)

.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D

#cw gore #cotl au stuff in here #23 pics under the cut btw #cotl #cotl fanart #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #the lamb #cotl narinder #cotl spoilers #cotl kallamar #cotl leshy #i dont think ill tag anymore #idek if i should've tagged this post at all #but well see how it plays out!!#THIS POST TOOK FOREVER TIME TO GO CLEAN

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mignonricciardo · 2 years

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intro + masterlist

hello! I'm em, and welcome to my little space where I let everything in my silly little brain come to life :) I write mainly motorsport works, but there are some fics I love too much to go unpublished. learn a little bit more about me and access my masterlist⬇️

about me:

I'm american, but my family is from france so I speak french and a bit of Italian and spanish (these two might be a stretch)

I love most sports including f1, indycar, soccer/football, rugby and even american football

some of my favorite f1 drivers are daniel, mick, pierre, carlos, charles, lando and seb (but really I support most of them)

I also love books and reading and music <3

masterlist:

a one sentence summary is below each fic. for a longer summary, please check link of the original post.

as a note, I am an adult, so most of my work typically contains allusions to adult themes and/or adult themes. I will try to tag all of my work appropriately, but please be sure to check the more specific tags in each individual fic for specific mature content.

fics containing smut are denoted with a ★

motorsport/formula 1

DANIEL RICCIARDO

things have changed since the last yearly visit to the winter beach house, but if there's one thing that hasn't, it's the magnetism between callie o'connor and her best friend daniel. with an unspoken history and the urge to navigate their changing lives, the two bring the crew back together for one more winter at the house. is this the august trip that truly changes everything?

simply the best | pt. 2 (★)

dan has covid in bahrain, and you come down with it, too.

LANDO NORRIS

holiday jitters

the aftermath of two friends hiding their feelings sharing a drunken kiss.

taking care of him

taking care of lando during and after the spanish gp.

medicine

lando wakes up sick before the brazil gp and he knows just the medicine he needs

CHARLES LECLERC

pancakes for dinner

charles has pre-race jitters, and only he won't feel better until he admits something.

stuck in my brain

following the French GP, charles searches for comfort from his best friend.

CARLOS SAINZ

surprise, surprise | pt. 2

family vacation, holiday around the corner, unexpected pregnancy. what could go wrong?

LEWIS HAMILTON

compromised (★)

sneaking around mercedes team settings hasn't always been easy, especially when you're caught in a compromising position.

massages (★)

lewis is sore after a long day of testing, and you've got just the remedy.

PIERRE GASLY

sore loser

you've just lost the champions league, and your favorite boy is a call away.

comfort

pierre helps with your chronic illness, assuring that you haven't ruined vacation.

LANCE STROLL

self-control (★)

lance is injured but has little self control when it comes to you.

après ski (★) [written and social au]

lance has some ideas for how your trip's après ski should look. too bad his future brother-in-law has different ideas.

MICK SCHUMACHER

dim lights, thick smoke (★)

mick heads to the bar with his sister's best friend. tomfoolery ensures involving a certain cowboy fashion statement.

FELIPE DRUGOVICH

a helping hand (★)

a certain conversation with your best friend leads to him teaching you a few things

MAX FEWTRELL

secret's out

you don't realize max is on stream so you let you some words fly.

3 AM (★)

drunken nights in Ibiza followed by 3 a.m. texts. what could happen?

F1 DRIVERS

formula one drivers as romance tropes pt. 1

formula one drivers as romance tropes pt. 2

other fics

CHRISTIAN PULISIC

home for the holidays

christian is a little homesick for the holidays. you have a plan for that.

BRADLEY "ROOSTER" BRADSHAW

can't take my eyes off you

a long history with rooster comes to a head when you're brought back to top gun.

take my breath away (★)

rooster will do anything to make sure you first date happens, no matter the circumstances. [part 2 to can’t take my breath away]

tag list

if you want added to my tag list, shoot me a message! just let me know who exactly you want to be added on to :)

#mignonmclaren #masterlist #mignonricciardo

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haethyre · 16 days

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X-Men 97 Thoughts

My personal opinions

Okay. So I grew up with X-men The Animated Series. It was one of my fave shows. It always came on late at night on Toon Disney (at times i shouldnt have been awake LMAO) so it has a special place in my heart. I was very surprised that of all things they decided to "continue" it. So, when I heard about it, I did a full rewatch (even that ungodly last season where quality took a nosedive OOF) Anywhoo! Started and finished 97. Those who know me best know at heart I am a big OG fan of my fandoms and am trepidacious of reboots/even continuation reboots, bc lets be honest most of them are all about stomping on the source material, SO I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Xmen 97.

You could really see how much they tried to capture the feel of the old show and the characters. The voice replacements were surprisingly well done. (i mean, Wolverine is a little off, but i'll give the guy a break its been like...28 yrs XD ) The animation looks amazing. Even if i'm taking some points off for the hair hfgjhdf haha

Now the storyline.... The elephant in the room. We all know the one. I have been a Romy fan since I was a kid and yes, when I was a young girl in Borders, I did come across the comic that showed the RoguexMagneto storyline. I hated it then and I hate it now. Its just...weird. (Again, my opinions. If you like it, power to you. Enjoy, but its not for me and this post isn't for you) but its even weirder in the show, and ill tell you why. As a Marvel comic reader, I'm well acquainted with the fact that everyone gets with everyone. That is just a trope of Marvel comics. All ships of imaginable and unimaginable proportions happen. BUT I think when doing this, they really should have thought it through a bit more in context of the show's universe alone . Bc I'll be real, if you're coming in from TAS, this kinda hits you out of nowhere. She had no form of connection with Magneto in the past show. Like....they had a makeshift funeral for him and she didn't even care. She was just worried about Gambit being stuck in space. So, their "secret" just seems so random and out of place. I do like that it was used for her to understand fully her feelings for Gambit, but man was it frustrating to see him just killed off when he was one of the best characters.(even if it was really well done and the animation, again, was amazing)

There's talk of him coming back as "Death" which is a storyline I'm not familiar with but I also heard talk of the original showrunner idealizing a timeline where Rogue and Magneto have kids....so... IDK It all just left me a bit frustrated and disheartened bc Romy was like one of my earliest ships before i knew ships were a thing. To see what happened to it made me sad, even if it could be part of a long game to get them to their HEA. (and thats always an if bc we don't know, even if the original guy isn't in charge anymore)

Other things that bugged me a little but not too much. Gonna bring up Morph. I love Morph. They were always a fave and they went through so much to finally be back on the team again. I really don't understand why they changed their character design tho? I read it was to make Morph look more like the character changeling from the comics but this is again something that doesnt make sense coming out of TAS bc Morph always had that other appearance throughout the entire show. I mean...it could have at least been explained... Also, as far as the feelings for Wolverine, i kinda found it funny XD bc in TAS, it always seemed like it was the other way around jkhfgjkdfh Wolverine was so attached to Morph and wouldn't let 'em go. That being said, I kinda wish they didn't go this route if its only meant to be unrequited and sad. AGAIN. I know. Marvel is all about unrequited drama jfhdkjfdh but hasn't Morph been through enough??? That being said, I love the ship even though I know its doomed. Wolverine is the worst person to be down bad for tho. Mans falls in love at the drop of a hat fhghdfjhsd

Other than these couple things, I really loved the show. Some people said "why are they shoving so much story into such a short amount of time" XD The storyteller in me would like to agree but i will be honest, there is nothing more like Xmen TAS than smooshed storylines jkdfhfkjds with random one-off eps in between. XD So, I was fine with it.

I liked the conclusion with Scott and Jean, as messy as it was. The family fun time was a pleasure to watch.

Xavier and Magneto. They really highlighted their messy, but still devoted relationship from the original series, so that was nice to see. I was glad to see him back in the red suit LMAO bc the one he was wearing all season was weird for me.

I loved Jubilee's journey, and it was cool that they brought Alyson Court back for that one episode.

I was very pleased overall that they didn't tone things down and since censors are different these days, they could show more stuff they couldn't in the 90s. So, I am looking forward to more seasons (and pleeeeease for the love of god give Romy back to me i am begging)

#x men 97 #rogue x gambit #romy #x men the animated series #my thoughts #plz dont jump on this post to yell at me

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intergalacticaquarium · 2 years

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more terrible no good headcanons for eddie disaster dreamboat munson

I said that if anybody made him too cool I'd have to add more and that's exactly what I'm gonna do babes because I had to scroll for way to long to find him making spagetti-os

(posting again bc it wasn't showing in the tag)

(first post)

-genuinely doesn't know what those stains are. Didn't even know it was stained bc he's had the same fitted sheet on it with one corner tugged off for 8 months and forgot about them since last time

-throws away Tupperware if the stuff in it is too gross

-he's pretty sure that green sour candy counts as a vegetable so he does eat at least 3 a day.

-just. Doesn't ever throw things away. Stupid shit like the backs of band aids and paper straw wrappers and napkins and hooooo boy this has turned into a callout post about myself

-sometimes horseflies fly into his hair and get stuck and he can hear them buzzing around and doesn't necessarily so anything about it right away until it stops

-no room for legs in the front seat of his car that space is reserved for old fast food bags

-buys new underwear instead of doing laundry

-hey why do I keep writing genuinely embarrassing things that I literally do irl. Is this really worth putting myself and the 4 huge bags of laundry I have in my tiny car and all my band aid wrappers on blast. Next I'm gonna write that every surface in eddies house is covered in stacks of hobbies and papers that feel like a goddamn archeological dig every time I clean

-psych he does that too

- ok things that I don't also do so that I don't start having a crisis that makes me a tidier person:

-feeds a family of raccoons that live in an abandoned hunting cabin in the woods

-one time he let one live in his closet for a bit and hoped Wayne wouldn't notice (this may explain some of the stains)

-this boy spills. Everything. He's a hand talker and it doesn't matter if he's holding something.

-the hand talking is also terrifying when in a car he is driving

-never drinks water ever and it stresses ppl out

-every single time he sees somebody he knows in public he will try and sneak up on them to scare them

-wears shoes inside bc he broke glass on the carpet months ago and he doesn't want to vacuum.

-the only place he has to actually sit and do anything I his room is his bed because everything else is covered in stuff

-everything is covered in stuff but every drawer he has is empty

-theres one category of things he owns that is organized absolutely meticulously and idk what it is but he's very proud of it and when he says he's "cleaning his room" it means organizing like band tees alphabetically or sorting minifig painting supplies and everything else stays trashed

-it's a perm and he did it himself in his bathroom 100%

-hair dye stains all over the bathroom from an ill advised look a while back. and maybe a few more times

-doesnt have a compulsive habit to bite his nails he does it bc he can never find the damn fingernail clippers

-notes and doodles. All over his arms

- yknow how when u were in school by the last day you'd have like one pencil and nothing else and u kept a hold of it bc you couldn't find any others?

- eddies been at that point since about half way thru his first senior year. He has one pencil and it is a stub (it is a d.a.r.e. pencil and he does find it funny) with no eraser and it's not sharp and it had a million bite marks on it

-has little stoner burn holes in all his clothes all his sheets his matress his sheets and the seats on his car bc he needs to be more careful and is gonna end up starting a fire someday

-wait that last one was a me thing

-maybe this is how I can embrace my flaws. make eddie do em too. it's cute when he's disgusting

-I no longer have improve myself at all

-puts random food in his pockets for later even though it will get linty. Gonna go ahead and say that I don't do this.

-isn't actually that good at guitar it turns out

-I gotta stop myself now because I know they'll just keep comin but add any you can think of or dm me because every time he gets worse he gets more of my love so like 2 give him a hug reblog 2 spray him with a hose

#eddie munson x reader #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #my writing #eddie munson #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie tag

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tarnishedspark · 4 months

Note

🌀Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't written/published yet. It can be hypothetical or something you really plan on releasing...

❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing.

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

🌧️Share something angsty from your WIP.

🌈 Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP.

💧Share something romantic/hot from your WIP, or just something sweet if it's gen.

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

🌪️Sum up a WIP with a few fic tropes/Ao3 tags.

All the things? Okay, all the things. ill put in a show more because Long

Unpublished fic summary:

Drift's story is diverted by a visit from multiverse-hopping Cloud Universe Deadlock who shows him his future in the form of the Drift comics, and implies that he'll be killed by the djd if he becomes Drift again. Turns out he kills the DJD instead.

Snippet from a WIP:

enjoy some sparkeater skywarp

Skywarp dropped the empty husk of the vehicon as the glow of a fusion cannon lit up his field of vision and reflected off the energon spread across his hands, plating and slithering tendril lines. "Hey Megs," Skywarp greeted, a note of fear slipping into the familiar greeting, "This isn't what it looks like." He slowly raised his hands in surrender, keeping them in view. The briefest glimmer of confusion touched the disgust on his leader's visage. "You mean to convince me that one of my most valuable officers has not become a creature of lesser bots' nightmares, as you are kneel here drenched in the lifeblood of one of your subordinates, the picture of a creature of tales of yore, having consumed your victim's very spark?" Megatron replied. "Okay maybe it is what it looks like," Skywarp conceded. Megatron's laughter boomed through the small meetingroom space. His fusion cannon powered down. Everyone else behind him shuffled uncomfortably.

Favourite piece of dialogue from WIP:

Somethin from the next chapter of Gladiator Hours . Definitely spoilers.

Ravage sniffed around them some more. "What is that smell? I can hardly get any of your scent past it." "Scented oil." "Oh, la-di-da mister fancy bot." "Oil: was free." "I guess a city bot like you can't go around smelling like actual garbage forever. What would your fellow fancy job bots think?" "Soundwave: gladiator," Soundwave huffed again. The gladiator pits were hardly anyplace fancy, let alone pleasant smelling. "Smell: irrelevant. Better than anyone else without scented oil." Ravage looked up into his visor with a mischievous glint in his optics. "Not content to smell like a warrior, then?" Of course Ravage had heard about that. Why wouldn't his embarrassment have been spread to the furthest corners of the planet, to be known even by those who had been expelled from civilisation.

Something angsty from your WIP

hmmm probably Too spoilersy to take smth from Gladiator Hours again here. Let's pick out a different one... Oh yes, this one is slmost 100% angst. Working title "grounded"

He stopped before the large door. Megatron's quarters had remained empty since their leader's demise. Soundwave doubted anyone had entered. Likely no one even knew they could. Soundwave palmed open the door and engaged the lock behind him. Within, the room was untouched. It could have been any other day he came to spend time with the warlord, were it not for the darked lights and the eerie emptiness. Soundwave climbed up on the berth, a large space that felt cold and exposed, and clutching a large pillow close curled in on himself. His best friend was gone. Laserbeak was far away, living a new life. All he had left were the few remaining frayed threads of the Cause. He didn't know if they were even worth holding onto.

Something soft/fluffy from your WIP:

you have No Idea how hard it was to find a bit I've actually written already, i think i went through every wip. have some cyberverse Soundwave x hot rod, featuring a song by Aerosmith

It was a long transport trip Soundwave was taking him on. At some point Hot Rod fell into recharge, stretched across an entire bank of plush seating. It was the most comfortable he had been in longer than he could remember. When he awoke he found Soundwave sitting opposite him, watching with an intensity that only Soundwave could manage. From Soundwave's speakers, an Earth song was quietly playing. 🎵Don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep, 'Cause I'd miss you baby, And I don't want to miss a thing🎵 Hot Rod blinked. 🎵'Cause even when I dream of you, The sweetest dream will never do, I'd still miss you baby, And I don't want to miss a thing🎵 "Aww, you missed me too?" Hot Rod asked, sitting up excitedly. The music cut off with a startled record scratch. "Of course not," Soundwave replied dismissively. A contradictory squawk came from the cockpit. "Perhaps a bit," Soundwave conceded, shuffling his feet nervously. Hot Rod grinned. He didn't know how much he had needed to hear that until he did.

Something romantic/hot or sweet:

okay we're going with this for "hot" because i have spent so long looking for snippets already this will do

Starscream was left with a scene of carnage and limbs. Soundwave moved amongst it all, his data cables extended and their claws ripping savagely at targets Starscream was sure the mech couldn't even see. His broad arms deflected blows and blaster fire alike as he moved and dodged and weaved expertly through the fray. ::Stay down:: Soundwave commed, casting a pointed glance in his direction. Starscream's wings raised indignantly, but he quickly pulled them back down again as blaster fire passed close overhead. The next thing he knew, Soundwave was ontop of him. Deft digits passed across his frame, checking for injuries. While Soundwave had effectively cleared the nearby area, Starscream was anxious not to be caught by surprise again. Raising one arm, he fired one of his rockets into the throng of enemy forces. The Autobots exploded in an eruption of flame and light. Finding only the scorch mark on his wing and a few scrapes and dents from the crash, Soundwave pulled Starscream to his feet. Perhaps it was the thrill of battle, or the buzz of energon in his lines, but Starscream couldn't help notice the rise of charge in his frame as he brushed up against the communications chief. This absolute beast of a mech who handled him with such care. That was something he would have to address later.

Something funny/cracky:

Earthspark post- season 1 Shockwave is just here now too.

"Mrrr,” Shockwave rumbled. A cow lowed in refurn. "Mrro." Shockwave mooed. "Hey Shockwave, what're you doing?" Thrash questioned, watching the scientist skeptical. "I am attempting to decipher these creatures' language." Shockwave replied, listening intently to the sounds the herd made. "You mean we'll be able to tell what Fluffyears is saying? That's so exciting!" Hashtag declared, popping up out of seemingly nowhere, "What are they saying right now? How long until we can learn to speak cow too?" "It may take some time. They do not appear to have a defined sentence structure."

A fic concept:

Star trek: the motion picture crossover with transformers. The planet Voyager went to was Cybertron. Crossover with the rest of star trek. Make Shockwave and Spock meet and make them tell eachother they're being illogical. I don't know what would happen here but I am sure there is fun to be had.

sum up a wip with tropes/ao3 tags:

oh this is the part i am Worst at. Luckily I've started putting these at the top of my documents as I think of them to make it a bit easier when it gets to posting time. I have an earthspark soundwave/swindle wip here with the following listed: developing relationship, annoyance to lovers, Swindle being Swindle

phew that took A While

#ask game #fanfiction writing #transformers

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stamplerfag · 6 months

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things im too cowardly to say off anon

am so glad i found ur tumblr again after your got sussed

your dndads art on twitter is what introduced me to the series and piqued my interest enough that when i saw it mentioned one (1) time on tumblr i was like "oh yeah i should check that out" and fell in deep

i looooooove ur willy takes, willy's one of my favorite characters in the series and i nod to your opinons

willyscary is absolutely my dndads otp and seeing you post about em had me doing a little run around in my room, fucking love those two. yes be horrible to your step-granddaughter. manipulate her harder. did you know that he canonically says "you can call me daddy" to her and she canonically jacked off the day she met him. im not joking the sauce is Rich and Delicious

stamplerfreaks AND oakfreaks unite

YOUU. IM GLAD YOU FOUND ME TOO IT WAS. perhaps not wise of me to post my art here. shame. im looking at it as a chance to restart my shit, anyhow..... (ill find somewhere to host everything eventually -__-)

that makes me so happy to hear?? i have a few persistent people to thank for getting me into podcast as well and every time i think about it in retrospect im like "oh my god im so glad i followed through, this thing is my heart and soul." lifechanging, no joke. continue to spread the gospel...... i need more perverts to talk abt dadson w........

WILLYHEADS RISE UP‼️‼️ UMM. HES SO. the fact that he affects me as much as he does is deeply embarrassing. genuinely genuinely obsessed. there are NOT enough of us. i could go on forever if i was allowed. (if you ever have anything else to say abt him please im begging.....) he fucking sucks so much dude i need to suck him off.

i am so fucking. im chomping at the bit to read more willyscary transcripts.... its so fucking textbook and delicious.... theres some part of me thats paranoid abt something s2 related taking up too much space in my brain, like thats a betrayal somehow, (and tbh every time i read about them i. get so excited it makes me manic. this relationship was designed in a lab to make me violently horny) but fucking. the two things that you just said are actually making me incredibly. fluttery about it and i dont even. know what to do oh god VGHHHFJJNGN!!!!! imkicking my feet & squealing !!!!. ive been meaning to draw them i promise........ whenever i feel motivated... i need him to cum on her tits (and many. and a lot of other things aswell)

OAKFREAK STAMPLERFREAK I SEE NO DIFFERENCE...... LOVE IS LOVE... WE GOTTA STICK TOGETHER....... 💋 PLEASE youre always welcome to bring your takes here !!!!!!!!

#asks #THIS IS A LOT OF NOTHING IM SORRY BUT. AAHHHH I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR ASKING........#welcome back im glad youre still here.... i think i know which one you are im just. im glad you enjoy podcast like i do #outside of boyporn it makes me really happy and comfortable and safe and i listen to it in the background now constantly #its a good one :]

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voxmilia · 11 months

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❛ i shouldn’t allow myself to get this close to you. ❜ (self-indulgent pain~ Beejgrazi~)

(in which Remy loves me and I reward that love with pain while introducing mashblr to my oc, the twenty-one year old nurse graziella "grazi" "hotshot" kowalski)

BJ had always been so kind to her. To all the nurses, really. Not in the flirtatious ways of Hawkeye or Trapper John, not with the slightly patronizing "honeys" and "sweethearts" Colonel Blake would indulge in - and god strike her down for speaking ill of the dead. But in a way that reminds her just a little bit of some faces back home - Davey Jacob's brilliant mind, Jack Kelly's cheek, even Liam Conlon's fierce, unwavering loyalty.

She hadn't even sought him out today. No, she had slipped into a corner table at Rosie's, hoping a drink would dull her ache. She thinks of her father, how he must have felt similarly, and drinks more when all logic dictated to put the bottle down. BJ had found her four or five beers in, tear tracks still fresh on her face. He had coaxed her so gently outside for some fresh air and call her naïve, but there was no ulterior motives in his gaze. Blue eyes were brimming with warmth, but no fire. The water near the Navy Yard pier on a gorgeous summer afternoon - familiar, comforting, inviting.

She knows he's married; how could she not? Mail call gets announced and he's all but bum-rushing Radar, eager for word from his wife. Unlike so many other men in the unit, the ones who forgot about their rings or ranted about their wives sneaking around while in bed with another woman themselves, BJ didn't stray. That was one of the truest facts Graziella knew. The sky was blue, there would always be wounded arriving when you try to take a nap, and BJ Hunnicutt was as loyal as they come. The very same nurses who would warn her about how men like Trapper or Hawkeye would chew up fresh meat like her and spit her back out would eye BJ as if hoping he'd do that very thing to them.

She should know better than to accept an invitation into a married man's space. But the Swamp was quiet, with Charles in post op and Hawkeye at the office's club. It gave them the space to sit down, for Grazi to pull the crumpled, tear stained letter from her pocket and allow BJ to inspect the reason for her distress.

"Leo's always been a sickly kid," she sniffles, hugging her knees to her chest, feeling very much a child in this moment despite being a grown woman. "He was a preemie. I think he got whatever weak constitution, or whatever Mama has. S-So it ain't news that he's sick, really, I, I just...I should be home with 'im, with all'a them!"

The sobs begin afresh, thinking of her younger siblings. They were still kids; Tony was barely sixteen, Rosa fifteen, and baby Leo only twelve. Grazi's aware she's on the younger end of officers here at twenty-one but knowing she left behind actual children... They were supposed to be her responsibility! With Mama sick and Papa drunk as a skunk, they needed her! And she left!

She can't articulate any of these thoughts, not with the way her sobs shake her entire frame. She feels the warm of long, strong arms winding around her as BJ pulls her in for a hug. And though she knows she shouldn't, knows it's pushing against some pretty firm boundaries, Graziella allows herself to hold him in return. Fingers clutch desperately at his shirt, seeking an anchor to the moment, to reality, lest the tides of despair wash her way.

Tender as anything, she feels a kiss pressed to the crown of her head as BJ cradles her head to his chest, allowing her tears to soak into the fabric of his shirt without shame or hesitation. It only makes Grazi cry all the harder.

"I-I enlisted for Frankie, for Liam," she blubbers, thoughts shifting to her twin brother and best friend on the front lines, far away from her. "A-And I ain't anywhere close to 'em! I can't, I can't help 'em, I can't help Rosa and the boys back home, I, fuck, I can't do shit here!"

"You save lives here, Graziella," BJ returns fervently, fingers stroking through tangled brown locks. "A hell of a lot of people are grateful you're here instead of Brooklyn. And there are dozens and dozens of nurses just like you at other MASHs and aid stations that are looking out for your brother."

It's true, all of it. They need every spare pair of hands they can get some days and Grazi's done an awful lot of good here. She knows this, she does, but that doesn't make it any less hard to swallow that she should somehow be both here and there.

An impossibility but one that weighs on her nonetheless.

BJ's fingers grip her shoulders, gently coaxing her to pull back. No sooner was her face lifted from his tear-soaked shirt did his hands move again. Long, slender fingers cup her cheeks, swiping away tears as they trickled down from watery brown eyes. "They'll be okay. We have to believe they'll be okay or we'll be too busy being pulled half a world away to take care of the people here."

She sniffles but manages a nod. It wasn't as if crying over her sick little brother was going to heal him, or the patients they're monitoring in post-op, after all.

Her eyes are downcast, trying to compose herself, unaware of the way those ocean blue eyes start to harden, even as his thumbs continue to wipe away the last of her tears. "I shouldn’t allow myself to get this close to you," his words are a whisper on the air, barely audible. But it's enough to pull Graziella out of her wallowing for a moment of lucidity.

God, what was she doing here? Like this? With a married man? A loyal married man, at that?

She smiles, still a little shaky, even as she lifts her hands up to gently grasp BJ's wrists. He offers no resistance when she pulls his hands away from her face. "...You're a real good friend, BJ," she murmurs so sweetly. "So I'll be a good friend right back and get outta your hair. Before we both get a little too friendly, ya know?"

He does know, his eyes say, though his mouth remains pursed in a thin line. A story for another time. A safer, softer time, when he can laugh about it with his pretty wife. Grazi stands, and in a foolish, naïve move, presses a kiss to BJ's hair, just as he had done for her.

She paused, hand pressed to the mesh of the door but not quite opening it. There's another door she needs to close first. She glances back, with a faraway smile and nods once. "Goodnight, Dr. Hunnicutt," she murmurs. She doesn't wait for a reply before walking out of the Swamp, gaze aimed ever forward.

#mine: writing #ocs: graziella kowalski #alcoholism implication tw #sick children tw #ask to tag #bj hunnicutt #ANYWAY THIS WAS 1000+ WORDS OF PAIN HUH

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raylex · 1 year

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7, 8, and 9 for Rayman?

hi nightmares!! thank you for sending in an ask! hope your week has been well!

7: What’s their signature thing they like to do when annoying you? Putting their cold hands on your skin? Poking you right in your ticklish areas?

okay, I know I mentioned in my last post that I headcanon he's very warm and radiates a lot of body heat, but for this one single instance I'll disregard that because I LOVE the idea of him being a bit of an asshole and putting his cold hands right on my skin LMAO. that is such a thing he would do to annoy me. one of the few times he'll actually take off his gloves, and it's to jumpscare me like that PFFFT

I also really like the idea that he loves messing with my self insert's antennae and tail which would both be amusing to watch while also being just ever so slightly irritating 🤣 as long as he stays away from the actual star at the end of the tail - he learned the hard way that holy sweet jesus that thing BURNS. so, he ends up mostly opting for the antennae... he will occasionally poke em around and pretend they're bunny ears LMAO. my s/i secretly also finds this funny and adorable, but shhhh

8: What do they usually do to take care of you when you’re ill, and vice versa? (More importantly, do they burn the soup?)

ironically, while he's not normally super overprotective, once I'm sick, that flies out the window and it becomes his life mission to take care of me. he will practically stay glued next to me while I recover. ANYTHING I want, he will get for me. it's very sweet, but also a bit overbearing... he does eventually learn to give me a bit of space 😅

and of course, he'll make soup for me, and I headcanon him to be a very good cook (who's just... too lazy to really put that skill to use), so no burnt soup here!

9: What texts or phonecalls do you expect from them during the day? What do you text them during the day?

I'm not sure technology like mobile phones would be as widespread in the glade of dreams (though I'm not denying their existence, we have seen rayman using phones LOL)...

...but I would imagine that we'd never quite be far apart enough to feel the need to call or text eachother very often, heh! and even if we did, I feel like rayman is the type of mf who never checks his phone HAHAH

I like to imagine, though, that in texting, rayman prefers using emojis to communicate over typing out a bunch of messages. he thinks they're just handy dandy. so he will often just react to my messages with smileys and heart emojis hah. it's cute :')

#ask games #silver-heller #💜☀️ray of sunshine☀️💜

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 2 years

Text

Im not dead hi

💀💀💀

I kinda thought to myself a little and I was just like... oh yeh with the note I left on and the degree I've let this get to me dipping for that long probably would look suspect..

Figured I'd get back to it. I am tryna slow down again. Me constantly being like.. high high starts to get in the way I'm seeing. I can get away with it within the first like hour halfish buuut past that I get really out of it and I process shit super slow. I've actually always had this problem now that I'm looking back tbh. But usuallyyyy I'd just dose again during that period and I'd be fine. But with how much i take off rip I have hydration issues by the first and I'm sure taking dose after dose prolly would exasperate that a bit

I'm actually halfway through the bottle now. It was kinda weird to see. It's felt like it's unlimited ever since I bought the giant bottle but 4 months later andd I've emptied the rest of it into the container I hide em in. I don't know how I feel about it.

Oh right uh I dunno if I had done it by the time I posted the other one but I went ghost for like.. 4-5ish days and that was.. eventful. Wasn't planned. I was sad one day and I just continued ignoring everything until a less closeish friend of mine reached out. He considers me his best friend but even with that we don't talk that that much. So once HEEE start going through hoops to try and reach out I was like o uh maybe I took it too far.

All in the past now it's been about a week being back. I try and let myself ignore messages more so that I feel more comfortable giving myself space without needing as long as a break. Well. That's the nice way of looking at it. Whatever uh. R and me have been fine. Had some technical issues with insta and I wasn't on as much cause of it which wasn't a great look after all that. I felt so bad. She cried a few times while I was gone. Unlike me and the other dude we do talk everyday and while the shit aint as like.. ig attentive as it used to be, we do usually get back to each other a bunch throughout the day so she damn near instantly thought something was off..

Sorry I'm babbling at this point. Long story short. Habit has gotten pretty bad. When I dipped I was doing it 3x a day and I've been doing 2ish lately. Still a long way from the once every other day I was doing when I originally started this. It makes me really sad honestly. Sometimes I don't even feel like taking my pills for the day but then boom I'm finna cry. Or irritable and have my whole day ruined off a minor annoyance. It don't even feel worth it to fight it anymore. But the hydration thing is kinda bad so I try sometimes ig

I had 2 funerals to go to while I was gone too. One was an old family friend. I never was close with her as like I'm just now really starting to connect with people in my family tbh. But it was still like.. wild. I just visited her around this time last year and one year later she's in the ground. The second one was for a longtime friend of my mom's. I won't lie, I really didn't know her at all. But it happening back to back just rattled me. I had seen them both semi recently and they weren't deathly ill at the time or anything. I just. I dunno. I can't explain why it makes me sad

I had to get high for the funerals. I felt so embarrassed but I just know it'd be easier that way. Though uh I kept circulating on whether they suffered or not and I couldn't stop crying cause of it. I hate that there's a real possibility that they sat there feeling terrified and in agony before they left. That still kills me. I hope they were able to be semi comfortable at least. It's the least they deserve

I'm not high rn but that's finna change. I had to play this game with a friend of mine yesterday while coming down and that shit was.. miserable. I wanted to sleep and lie around but dude bought the game for me specifically for us to play. I wouldn't dare. I was tryna stay sober today just incase he was tryna play earlier today and i didn't wanna risk being gone gone. But atp I think I'll just hop on tomorrow. I'm sick of being like this. I'll just say I got busy.

I'm gonna probably change the way I write these cause the multiple times a day thing is kinda awkward to document. Or not. I dunno. Maybeee I will stop being such a fucking JUNKIEEE and take the shit at least semi safely I wouldn't need to but. We will see.

I'll get back to it tho. I think it's important to keep up with it and if I only update when I'm semi stable it defeats the purpose of the page tbh. My bad for dying off the face of the earth. I'm fine

#misc #vent

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bigyikes97 · 1 year

Text

I posted 341 times in 2022

That's 341 more posts than 2021!

75 posts created (22%)

266 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@a-treatise-on-velociraptors

@yuzu-all-the-way

@funnytwittertweets

@curioscurio

@beyoncescock

I tagged 266 of my posts in 2022

Only 22% of my posts had no tags

#yuzuru hanyu - 52 posts

#attack on titan - 19 posts

#me - 15 posts

#omg - 11 posts

#demon slayer - 9 posts

#oof - 9 posts

#shingeki no kyojin - 8 posts

#attack on titan spoilers - 8 posts

#kdrama - 6 posts

#best boy - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#he was so passively going along with everything while also seeming to have an unreasonable grudge against yo han that i couldn't understand

My Top Posts in 2022:

I would re-watch Strangers from Hell because now that I live in a tiny apartment filled with strange people I understand how things progressed the way they did

how easy it is to go crazy when craziness is all you know, how the people who surround you become your world and standard of normalcy, how people can get under your skin and draw out the worst in you while your focus is so hyperfixated on the stew of psychopathic behavior that you can't even see what's wrong anymore, especially when that person seems, at first, to care for and understand you...it's given me food for thought and a hefty impetus towards introspection. I'll definitely be thinking about this show a lot in the future. Bad company truly does corrupt good morals.

HOWEVER,

I ALSO got physically ill at that (human? question mark?) BBQ table scene when the lights were flashing and THIS man was like

It was truly ADVANCED DARKNESS and I got such awful heebie-jeebies i had to drop it then and there. maybe I'll finish it later...or maybe not!!! I think the lesson was great but it was a bit much for me

10 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

wait i figured it out

If eyes are like OuO it is my favorite

See the full post

15 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

Just started Devil Judge because I heard it referenced alongside "The Merciless"

Looove the concept and I think there's a lot that can be said about it, as for the plot, idk what's going on yet but THIS GUY ^^^ is GORGEOUS ^^^ so I'll keep watching~ hehe~ i had a crush on him like 10 years ago from Protect the Boss and holy guacamole he looks the SAME but now EVIL??? Or...NOT??? NOT SURE?? (I drew awful fan art of him as a young kpop teenager before that was a thing!!! It was TVXQ! era in a small town, someone looked at my sketchbook and asked 'why'd you draw an angry Hawai'ian man' and I answered "actually this is Ji Sung he's a Korean actor" and then they're like 'why'd you draw an angry Korean man' I've remembered this interaction for 10 years) First ep was a lil confusing but as per Kdrama rules you must give it at least two eps before drawing a conclusion.

Also everyone keeps saying things like "Lawful husbands" and from the amount of trespassed space bubbles and mysterious stares in the first episode I'm expecting some bromance or maybe ANTI bromance?? bro-loathing?? I guess there will also be a point where I'll say "oh, that's what they meant", we'll see!

20 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

A VERY SPECIFIC CROSSOVER:

See the full post

24 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

If the idea of Goncharov's *story* appeals to y'all (like, outside of the meme, if you were like, 'oh, I would watch that movie if it existed'), "The Merciless" should probably be on your watchlist

It's a complicated angsty relationship gangster tension plot-twisting ride of a tragic violent shoot-em-up heartbreak-fest and I have so many feelings about it hhffsdfghhghghhhhhh

(and it got like an 8 minute standing ovation at Cannes if that is convincing to anyone)

ALSO in the running for "existent gangster movies that are literally earth shaking in scope and layers of analyses" is my all-time favorite "A Bittersweet Life"

(100% on Rotten Tomatoes btw)

See the full post

51 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #hehehe #for my own reference #lol

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idreamtofmanderleyagain · 3 years

Text

Hot takes about Severus Snape are a wierdly decent glimpse into how a person with progressive values analyses things. Literally every time someone talks about Snape, it’s like this tiny window into how one-dimentionally people actually think.

Recently saw a twitter post that was a fantastic example. Here’s how it goes (paraphrasing):

Person A:“Snape is POC and Queer coded, that’s why you guy’s hate him uwu lol.”

Person B: “Actually I hate him because he was mean and abusive to children under his care uwu but go off I guess lol”

Both of these takes are designed to be dramatic and/or reactionary. They each use partial truths to paint very broad strokes. These are get-em-in-one-hit quips. This is virtue signalling, if you’ll excuse that loaded phrase. Nobody had a substantial conversation, but now everyone who sees their statement knows the high ground they took.

At least a hundred other people chimed in to add their own little quippy hot takes into play, none of which add anything significant, but clearly made everyone feel very highly of themselves.

So many layers of nuance and complex analysis is completely lost in this kind of discussion. On tumblr, you get more of this kind of bullshit, but you don’t have a word count limit, so you guys just spew endless mountains of weak overblown evidence backing up your bullshit arguments, none of which was really about engaging in a real conversation anyway.

Here’s the thing about Snape.

He is a childhood domestic abuse victim. His abuser is a muggle.

He becomes a student at a magical school that takes him away from his abuser and immediately instills in him the idea that being a part of this magical world is a badge of self-worth, empowerment, and provides safety and security - provided that he keeps in line.

There is a war is being waged in that world over his right to exist (he is a half blood).

He is a marginalized person within the context of the narrative, forced to constantly be in the same living space as the children of his own oppressors who are being groomed and recruited into a hate group militia (the pureblood slytherins). They are in turn trying to do the same to him.

He is marginalized person bullied by children who are also part of his oppressor group, but who have “more liberal” leanings and aren’t direct about why he’s being targeted (the mauraders are all purebloods, Sirius, who was the worst offender, was raised in a bigoted household, the same one that produced Bellatrix.).

He had a crush on a girl who is a muggleborn, and therefore she is considered even lesser than him and carries a stigma to those who associate with her. That girl was his only real friend. In his entire life.

For both Snape and Lily, allying themselves to a pureblood clique within their own houses would be a great way of shielding themselves from a measure of the bigotry they were probably facing. There would have been obvious pressure from those cliques to disconnect with one and other.

Every other person who associates with Snape in his adulthood carries some sort of sociopolitical or workplace (or hate cult) baggage with their association. Some of them will physically harm and/or kill him if he steps out of line. He hasn’t at any point had the right environment to heal and adjust from these childhood experiences. Even his relationship with Dumbledore is charged with constant baggage, including the purebloods who almost killed him during their bullying getting a slap on the wrist, the werewolf that almost killed him as a child being placed in an authority position over new children, etc. Dumbledore is canonically manipulative no matter his good qualities, and he has literally been manipulating Snape for years in order to cultivate a necessary asset in the war.

He is a person who is not in the stable mental state necessary to be teaching children, whom has been forced to teach children. While also playing the role of double agent against the hate group militia, the one that will literally torture you for mistakes or backtalk or just for fun. The one that will torture and kill him if he makes one wrong move.

Is the math clicking yet? From all of this, it’s not difficult to see how everything shitty about Snape was cultivated for him by his environment. Snape was not given great options. Snape made amazingly awful choices, and also some amazingly difficult, courageous ones. Snape was ultimately a human who had an extremely bad life, in which his options were incredibly grim and limited.

In fact, pretty much every point people make about how shitty Snape is as a person makes 100% logical sense as something that would emerge from how he was treated. Some if it he’s kind of right about, some of it is the inevitable reality of suffering, and some of it is part of the cycle of abuse and harm.

Even Snape’s emotional obsession with Lily makes logical sense when you have the perspective that he literally has no substantial positive experiences with other human beings that we know of, and he has an extreme, soul destroying guilt complex over her death. Calling him an Incel mysoginist nice guy projects a real-world political ideology and behavior that does not really apply to the context of what happened to him and her.

Even Snape’s specific little acts of cruelty to certain students is a reflection of his own life experiences. He identifies with Neville; more specifically, he identifies his own percieved emotional weaknesses in his childhood in Neville. There’s a very sad reason there why he feels the urge to be so harsh.

Snape very clearly hates himself, in a world where everyone else hates him, too. Imagine that, for a second. Imagine total internal and external hatred, an yearning for just a little bit of true connection. For years. Imagine then also trying to save that world, even if it’s motivated by guilt. Even if nobody ever knows you did it and you expect to die a miserable death alone.

There are more elements here to consider, including the way Rowling described his looks (there may be something in there re: ugliness and swarthy stereotyping). These are just the things that stand out the most prominently to me.

J.K. Rowling is clearly also not reliable as an imparter of moral or sociopolitical philosophies. I don’t feel that her grasp of minority experiences is a solid one, considering how she picks and chooses who is acceptable and who is a threat.

All of that said, this is a logically consistent character arc. Within the context of his narrative, Snape is a marginalized person with severe PTSD and emotional instability issues who has absolutely no room available to him for self-improvement or healing, and never really has. And yes, he’s also mean, and caustic, and verbally abusive to the students. He’s also a completey miserable, lonely person.

There are elements in his character arc that mirror real world experiences quite well. If nothing else, Rowling is enough of an emotional adult to recognise these kinds of things and portray something that feels authentic.

In my opinion, it’s not appropriate to whittle all this down by comparing him directly to the real world experiences of marginalized groups - at least if you are not a part of the group you are comparing him to. There have been many individuals who have compared his arc to their own personal experiences of marginalization, and that is valid. But generally speaking, comparing a white straight dude to people who are not that can often be pretty offensive. This is not a valuable way to discuss either subject.

Also, I believe that while it’s perfectly okay to not like Snape as a character, many of the people who act like Person B are carrying Harry’s childhood POV about Snape in their hearts well into their own adulthood. And if nothing else, Rowling was attempting to say something here about how our perspectives (should) grow and change as we emotionally mature. She doesn’t have to be a good person herself to have expressed something true about the world in this instance, and since this story is a part of our popular culture, people have a right to feel whatever way they do about this story and it’s characters.

The complexity of this particular snapshot of fictionalized marginalization, and what it reveals about the human experience, cannot be reduced down to “he’s an abuser so he’s not worth anyone’s time/you are bad for liking him.”

And to be honest, I think that it reveals a lot about many of us in progressive spaces, particularly those of us who less marginalized but very loud about our values, that we refuse to engage with these complexities in leu of totally condemning him. Particularly because a lot of the elements I listed above are indeed reflected in real world examples of people who have experienced marginalization and thus had to deal with the resulting emotional damage, an mental illness, and behavior troubles, and bad decisions. Our inability to address the full scope of this may be a good reflection of how we are handling the complexity of real world examples.

Real people are not perfect angels in their victimhood. They are just humans who are victims, and we all have the capacity to be cruel and abusive in a world where we have been given cruelty and abuse. This is just a part of existing. If you cannot sympathise with that, or at least grasp it and aknowledge it and respect the people who are emotionally drawn to a character who refects that, then you may be telling on yourself to be honest.

To be honest, this is especially true if you hate Snape but just really, really love the Mauraduers. You have a right to those feelings, but if you are moralizing this and judging others for liking Snape, you’ve confessed to something about how you’ve mentally constructed your personal values in a way I don’t think you’ve fully grasped yet.

I have a hard time imagining a mindset where a story like Snape’s does not move one to empathy and vicarious grief, if I’m honest. I feel like some people really just cannot be bothered to imagine themselves in other people’s shoes, feeling what they feel and living like they live. I struggle to trust the social politics of people who show these kinds of colors, tbh.

But maybe that’s just me.

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years

Text

A Deafened Bard (Stephen Strange x Female!Reader) pt. 2

Doctor Strange and y/n confide their tragic backstories in one another. Y/n struggles with her feelings for him.

Trigger warnings: abusive parenting, use of firearms, discussion of death and grief, mention of alcoholism

"On the outside, always looking in

Will I ever be more than I've always been?

Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass-"

You stopped yourself before you could indulgently belt out the titular lyric.

"Ew, why was I singing that?" You muttered to yourself. "I don't even like that song."

You knew, subconsciously, that it was because you were trying to avoid what you really wanted to sing. For the first time ever, you had an audience. Someone was paying attention.

"Love of my life, you've hurt me-"

"Oh, come on, butterfingers." He interrupted. "Love of my Life by Freddie Mercury. Give me something hard."

"I wasn't aware it was classic rock trivia night."

"Then why were you staring straight at me while singing?" He smirked.

"Was I?" You cocked your head, expertly deflecting his implication. "I'm so spaced out I don't even know where I'm looking."

"It's Freddie Mercury." He insisted.

"Uh, yes and no." You corrected, drawing on your encyclopedic knowledge of Queen from one particularly weird summer in high school. "While Freddie Mercury wrote the song, it was recorded on a Night at the Opera. Which was accredited to the whole band."

"That's a nitpick," he shook his head. "I'm still right."

You couldn't wear your heart on your sleeve anymore. You could only distract him with 70s glam rock trivia for so long before he started to notice a pattern. Although a sappy love song was in your heart, you sang the anthem of the depressed theater kid.

You were staring straight at him, though. But who wouldn't? You studied his features only for artistic inspiration. His sharp jaw and high, high cheekbones were… inspiring.

You couldn't lie to yourself. You fell and fell hard.

"Butterfingers!" Master Strange called out from the other side of the sanctum. "I need you!"

You dropped your pencil and pushed yourself out from the chair. "Coming!"

You followed the voice into his chambers. This was a new development, you thought. Out of respect for his privacy, you'd never dared to snoop around in his bedroom. But this was practically a written invitation.

The room was spotless. Not a book or a scrap of paper out of place. Nor was there much to look at at all. A handful of picture frames, some magazines from when he was a surgeon, all featuring himself on the cover.

"Butterfingers!" He called again, as if he knew you were about to snoop.

"I'm here!" You yelled back, eyes wandering around the room. "What do you need?"

"I left my watch somewhere in the library!" He sounded disproportionately panicked for what was just a minor inconvenience. "I need you to go get it for me."

"What does it look like?" You asked.

"It's a $27,000 watch." He snapped impatiently. "It looks like one."

"Jesus." You cursed.

"Don't give me that shit, [F/N]." He ordered, slamming his fist down against the sink. "Just do what you're goddamn told."

"Alright, alright!" You put your hands up. "Fine, I'll get it."

You hurried down the stairs and into the library. On the floor between his favorite chair and a stack of musty old books was a slim, silvery watch with a plain black band.

You picked it up and examined it. Apart from the price tag, was there really any reason for him to be so worried about it? He knew exactly where he left it. Did he have reason to believe it wouldn't be there when he returned?

All you needed to do was flip it over to get your answer. You read the inscription on the back.

Time will tell how much I love you -- Christine

You should have known that his massive ego wouldn’t keep the women away forever. Hell, it certainly didn’t deter you. Much uglier douchebags have gotten far prettier girlfriends than they deserved.

You closed your fingers around the watch and sighed. The fantasy you created for yourself, of slowly, deliberately earning his love was shattered. Christine already beat you to it, it seemed. You tried to smother the part of you that resented this person for her exclusive right to Master Strange's affections. You didn't know her, but you loathed her. And you felt filthy for it.

With a heavy heart, you brought the stupid, criminally expensive little timepiece back to its rightful owner.

"Here's your all-important watch, master." You mumbled, placing it on the bedside table.

"I know I told you I would give you space to question things," He said, swiping it from the table and expertly affixing it around his wrist. "But I'd really appreciate it if you didn't question this."

You tried to sound as non-passive-aggressive as you could. You attempted a more forgiving tone, but you couldn't hide your hurt. "It's fine. I don't care."

"I didn't mean to get short with you, [F/N]." His voice softened. "I'm sorry. But this watch-"

"It's fine." You cut him off, peering at the floor.

"It was a gift." He finished anyway.

You felt the lump in your throat rising. You knew what the watch represented and you wanted to smash it to pieces. Along with the sting of rejection, you felt the sting of tears in your eyes. "I know. I saw the engraving."

"She died two years ago." He lowered his head.

Suddenly, all your ill will towards this woman turned into guilt.

"I'm sorry to hear that." You said. "I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone who loved you so much."

"She had agreed to come to a speaking engagement with me. As a second chance, and-" Pain wrapped his voice. He closed his hand tightly around the watch and held it close to his chest. "Have you ever been in love before, [F/N]?"

From the way your heart ached, and how easily the thought of never being with him made you cry, you knew the answer. You'd been avoiding speaking it into being thus far, but you couldn't lie to yourself anymore.

"Yes." You whispered.

"You'll learn soon enough." He muttered. "It only brings more suffering."

The tears finally breached and you tried to blink them away. You didn't know what emotion was causing them: guilt, shame, contempt, anger, sadness-- they were all present.

"Master Strange, I-" you stuttered, tripping over your breath. "I respect what you've gone through, I really do, but it's not fair to take it out on me."

"You're right." He conceded. "I'm sorry. Please, go get some sleep.”

You nodded. “Right.”

You slept as late as you could get away with the next morning. In apprentice terms, that only meant sleeping until eight thirty. Your dailies could wait an extra hour while you laid in bed, feeling like garbage.

You stumbled down the spiral staircase in your pajamas. No bra, no makeup and no effort. You didn’t even run a brush through your hair. Why try, you thought. Why make an effort for the man who would never see you as anything but the help?

When you saw the piano, though, you did a full 180.

In the living area was a French cherry baby grand piano that definitely was not there before. You certainly would have noticed it before. You placed your phone on the counter and approached the new addition.

As if the memories were woven into the very muscles and ligaments of your fingers, you ran down a few octaves of C Major. The keys were smooth as porcelain and the sound that emanated from the instrument was next to heavenly.

A bright orange post-it note was stuck to the music rack.

“Love of my Life”, Queen, A Night at the Opera. 1975

Was this a request, or an admission of wrong? Whatever the case, it made you smile.

"You weren't being entirely honest with me, Butterfingers." He said, randomly materializing behind you.

You turned around on the piano bench and looked up at him. "What was I not honest about?"

"I'm so glad you asked." He sat down on the bench next to you, phone in hand. "Because when you said you used to play piano, you didn't specify you were actually a student prodigy."

Sure enough, on his phone, he was scrolling through your Instagram. Dozens of videos of a much younger [F/N] playing hundreds of different songs, singing with too many vocal runs and doing so with the entire content of her soul behind the music.

"Student prodigy is a bit strong." You turned your head to hide your blush.

He scrolled up and found a picture of a young, zit-faced teenage [F/N] holding an acceptance letter. "Last I checked, Juilliard doesn't give full-ride scholarships to just anyone."

You covered your face with your hands, smothering an embarrassed smile. "God, please. I'd rather you'd found my OnlyFans."

He raised his eyebrows. "As tempting as that sounds, I'd still rather hear your explanation on this. Why did you give up on something you loved?"

You looked at him in surprise. "You really want to know?"

"Well, I told you mine." He playfully nudged you in the side.

You took a deep breath in. "Well, it was about two years ago, now-”

"Cheers to you, [F/N]!" Your best friend Holly raised her glass of champagne in your direction. "Juilliard ain't gonna know what hit ‘em."

"I'll drink to that." You said, bring your own flute up to your lips and taking a swig. You wretched in disgust as the vile liquid ran down your throat. "Or maybe I won't."

"You're gonna have to get used to it." Holly nudged you with her elbow. "I think most professional musicians are alcoholics."

You narrowed your eyes at her. "I don't think that's right."

"Is too." She smirked. "Conductors are mad strict. Abusive even. Drive musicians to drink all the time."

You laughed. "Is everything you know about the world of music from Whiplash?"

"And The Perfection." She added.

"Thank you, Holly." You said, attempting to take another sip of champagne, purely for dramatic effect. "Very cool."

You felt a pair of hands on your shoulders. "Hi, Holly. Enjoying the party?"

Holly took a step back. "Hey, Mrs. [L/N]. Yeah, it's great."

"I hope you don't mind," Your mom said, her fake nice voice eeking through her clenched teeth. "I need to borrow [F/N] for a few minutes."

Holly's face fell. "Sure. I'll catch up with you later, [F/N]."

Your mother tugged you off to the side. With a stressed huff, she began. "Jason is out in the fields with his ROTC friends."

"And what do you want me to do about that?" You asked, knowing her drunk self couldn't read your sarcastic tone.

"Could you go get him and bring him home?" She said, squeezing your upper arm.

"Are you kidding?" You spat.

"[F/N], he's drunk." She scolded. "Do you want him to get another strike on his record?"

"I don't care." You mumbled under your breath. "Have him call an uber. Hell, let him sleep it off in the field. Not my problem."

"You know what he's like when he's drunk." She rationalized. "He gets rowdy. It had better be you."

You tensed up. "No. Holly and I are going to the French Quarter. I don't have time to babysit Jason."

"Just pick him up on your way there?" She pleaded. "It won't take long."

You knew this wasn't going to stop. "Fine, but this is the last time."

You were both dressed far too well to be trekking through the swampy ass nowhere when you should have been fucking your way through the French Quarter. Luckily for your evening plans, all you needed to do was follow the sound of gunshots.

You slammed the car door shut and Holly followed suit. Finding him was the easy part. The hard part was hauling his drunk ass back home.

"Fun's over, shithead." You announced, heels sinking into the sod as you spoke. You didn't have much trouble projecting over the gunfire and getting their attention.

"Shit, [F/N]?" Jason sputtered, so drunk he could barely keep his head straight.

"Holy shit, I didn't even recognize you in that dress." One of his dumb fuck friends added. He jabbed Jason in the side. "Why didn't you tell me your sister's hot?"

"Buster, I-'' You clenched your teeth. "I don't care if you live or die, but my mom needs me to bring Jason home."

"If you get in the car now, we won't have to use the chloroform." Holly added.

Jason scratched the back of his head with the barrel of his gun, then pointed it at you. "You're gonna have to make me."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" You exclaimed, hitting the deck. "What the fuck, Jason!?"

Jason and his dumbass friends laughed. "You should have seen the look on your face, [F/N]!"

"Put down the fucking gun-" You seethed. "And get in the fucking car."

He lowered the gun and looked like he was going to concede. Just when you thought he would cooperate, he stuck it up again. He keeled over in a fit of laughter when you and Holly panicked again.

"Look at them!" He shouted. "They're so fucking scared!"

You knew out in the middle of the swamp, nobody could hear you scream. So you used it to your advantage.

"Jason, you're going in the car, or under it." You raised your voice. "I will mow your drunk ass down like eight day old roadkill right here in this field and you will be LUCKY if anyone finds your bloated, shit-covered remains before the crocodiles get a whiff of you."

That seemed to get his attention.

"Sorry, boys." He pouted. "You heard her."

He had to 'get you' one final time, though. Only that time, the gun went off. Just centimeters from your ear. You clutched the side of your head, trying to drown out the deafening ringing with your screams.

You vaguely remembered Holly pistol-whipping Jason before loading you into the car to drive you to the hospital, leaving him desolate and drunk in the field.

"It was a one-in-a-million shot." The otolaryngologist tried not to sound impressed at what was clearly some kind of anomaly very few got to witness in a medical career. "When the bullet fired, the gunpowder traveled down your ear canal, burning the cells of your auditory nervous system and... singing your eardrum... clean off."

Your eyes widened. "Off?!"

The doctor lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Miss [L/N]. I'm afraid you'll never return to full hearing again."

You didn't want to kill the messenger. You knew she was only doing her job. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"If we could do a tympanoplasty, which, given the condition of the drum, is unlikely-" she began. "There would still be no way to fully repair the hair cells along the ear canal."

You took deep breaths to try and quell your simmering rage. "I'm leaving for Juilliard in three months."

"Hearing aid technology has improved significantly over the last decade." She said, a somewhat hopeful upturn in her voice.

That was when your mother decided to join in on the conversation. "Oh, we can't afford that."

You thought you were going to crush your teeth into bits from how tightly your jaw was clenched in fury. "Take it out of Jason's college fund, then."

"Oh, [F/N]." She said as if you had just told the funniest joke imaginable. "Please. That wouldn't be fair to Jason."

"You can afford to send that blithering idiot to the Citadel." You hissed. "You can afford to buy me a hearing aid so I can play piano."

"Beethoven was entirely deaf." Your mom pointed out. "And he became the greatest composer of all time. It's really just mind over matter, sweetie-"

"Sure, that makes perfect sense!" You plastered on a deranged smile, feeling driven to the brink of madness. "I can repair my destroyed eardrum with the power of positive thinking! Jason gets thirty-five thousand dollars a year to play soldier, but I have to just use my imagination."

She covered her face with her hands as if she was being attacked and went into kicked-puppy mode. "Don't be mad at Jason, [F/N]. He didn't mean to hurt you-"

"Fuck this." You said, releasing all your tension in those two words. "Fuck all of this. I'm tired of you defending that chauvinist asshole. The next time you see me will be when one of us is dead."

"Where are you going?!" She wailed.

You snatched your purse from the table and threw it over your shoulder. "I'm moving out."

“Disgraced at age nineteen?" Master Strange said, leaning back on the piano. "Let me guess, you turned to alcohol to cope?"

"You'd think, but actually no." You shook your head. The tone of the conversation had taken a sharp left turn from sadness to dry, apathetic amusement. "I probably would have if I could have afforded it."

"You missed out." He said. "Drinking a whole bottle of eighty year old scotch was definitely the highlight of my grieving period."

You'd never joined the clauses 'Master Strange' and 'drunk off his ass' in the same sentence before then. It was an odd mental picture for sure. One you needed to see to believe.

"I got desperate." You admitted. "Luckily, New Orleans had a lot to offer someone like me, so I didn't have to go far to find people claiming to have answers. But it was all essential oils, incense, binaural beats-"

"I'm sorry," he cut in. "What kind of dickhead suggests binaural beats to someone with only one functioning ear?"

You threw up your hands. "Right? Doesn't make sense. Anyway, I came across a woman named Mistress Fantina and she pointed me in the right direction. How to heal my body through control of my spirit."

He looked at you with that fascination of the human body characteristic of those in the medical field. "It worked, I assume?"

"I figured it out." You shrugged. "But I got so invested in the Mystic Arts that I forgot all about Juilliard. Became a full-time student. Ever since, I never once thought about returning to my old life."

"I suppose if I'd discovered this world because I had lost, say, my ability to perform surgery, it would be hard to leave it behind and return to the operating room." He thought out loud. Sighing, he closed his hand over his watch. "But no matter how medical science evolves, you can't reverse death."

You let the quiet linger for a moment.

#doctor strange #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #doctor stephen strange #stephen strange #dr stephen strange #stephen strange x you #what if #what if marvel #doctor strange supreme #tw guns #tw abusive parent

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