#i have broken down laughing

[ploncc]

finally watching House MD and yes i am catching up on my shows a decade late, but that DOES mean that now i can make the hypothesis that chase is another bubblegum bitch character and frankly that's worth the ten years

#house md #im on season three #by which i mean i am four episodes away from finishing season 3 #i picked up knitting you see and i was like “hey i need a show i don't care about that's still engaging while knitting” because adhd yknow #except now im fucking hooked #my emotions have been toyed with #i have called 40 year old men baby girls #i have broken down laughing #i have cried full ass adult tears #i have binged more episodes than i could ever advise in single evenings #i have had to excitedly break down arcs to my mother who keeps walking by while the show is on/sitting in for an episode n then sleeping #ive also finished a cool pattern swatch and am almost done with another stuffed bunny (this one is for an old roomie) so it is working #like on the knitting-with-adhd front #i have another five seasons to go so who knows! #maybe i'll make a sweater :)

[lale-txt]

Good luck with your challenge, I stopped commenting because I never got a reply back which sucksss 😭🥱

in all honesty, writers don't owe you a reply.

and i get where you're coming from; it is nice to get a reply to a comment you left! but expecting one back feels a bit entitled, doesn't it? you already got a fic FOR FREE. you leave a comment to thank them for this gift. and then you expect them to thank you in return?

i don't mean to sound ungrateful because i can promise you, it's not like us writers are getting swamped with comments LOL. i have many writer friends and no matter for how many years we've all been actively writing, a single comment will still make our day. no matter how small that comment is! just a simple "hey, i loved reading this" or "it's 4am and i'm reading this instead of sleeping" or a silly keysmash shows us that someone out there really enjoyed what we wrote.

idk but hearing you say you stopped commenting simply because you never get a reply back left a really bitter taste in my mouth. maybe the person behind the fic is out of spoons, maybe they simply forgot to reply, maybe they're keeping your comment in their inbox and stare at it lovingly because it gives them fuel for the entire week. the reasons for it are endless. not getting a reply to your comment doesn't mean the writer is ungrateful. it's just a really shitty thing of you to say.

i'm gonna keep commenting on my fav fics because it makes me happy that i get to show my gratitude. it's a little kindness that doesn't hurt anyone and honestly the energy you spent on sending this ask could have been used to do the very same, but oh well.

#you don't come into my house and complain like that without having me reach for my sandal LOL #i could have blocked and deleted this but honestly i feel like quite a lot of people think this way and it bothers me #A LOT #and i'm getting so tired of repeating the same things over and over again #everyone and their mom is having a menty b when AO3 is down but no one bothers to leave a little loving comment #i'm not even actively sharing my writing on Tumblr atm and the like-reblog ratio has me laughing out loud #it's really a mess and we all sound like broken records at this point it feels #so excuse my little rant there but i'm tired #lale.ask

[kenobihater]

you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?

#i'm literally laughing my entire ass off rn. i can't believe i found this fic i wrote at 15 and orphaned when i came to my senses abt both #my complete inability and total aversion to writing first person as well as the fact that the english language should never have been #subjected to its words being done dirty like this 😭 #also i straight up fucking LIED in the authors note??? i said i'd broken my knee as a kid which is categorically false. i fell down some #stairs and banged it up and it's a tiny bit weak ig but i didn't break it? all any teens born after y2k know is eat hot chip and lie... #still not over the first line... the flip flop bit i remembered but i'd COMPLETELY forgotten 'a shriek seeped out of my throat'. girl. what. #how does a shriek seep exactly? the world may never know... #and the use of 'groped' is also sending me 😭 AND 'crash bash whump thump' girlllll send help holy shit i can't stop coughing & laughing #the rest of the fic isn't quite this bad but it's very purple yet ineloquent and rough. it's a good reminder of how much i've improved and #honestly i'd rather read this utterly amature fic bc it's at least charming in its lack of skill rather than infuriating like some of my #oneshots that are still on my page bc they're more comprehensible but just bad enough to make me cringe. getting mad at this oneshot would #be like getting bad at a kid's stick figure drawing. like. it's just kinda cute to see someone starting out on their creative journey #my old sw oneshots on the other hand are like the awkward growing pains of puberty. you just can't help but wince at the reminder #this is okay to reblog btw bc it's objectively hilarious and i don't mind ppl finding humor in it #len speaks

[19871997]

.

#prefacing this w ik in fanfiction they're all just our little barbie dolls we're making kiss and it doesnt matter whatsoever but like Do you #understand how much love and respect and loyalty there is between connor and leon irl #like in connors nhlpa ama he immediately no question said that leon's the nhler who knows him best + that he's spent his entire professiona #career w him. whenever leon's asked what he thinks of connor the first sentance out his mouth is 'you [the media] know. he knows' and then #he carries on talking about how he's the best player in the world + connor never hesitates to return the sentiment #and between the two of them it's not sentiments they sau it like its fact bc it is #and their whole 'cup or bust' thing every analyst and their mother have taken it as a 'they're going to win in edmonton or not at all' in t #e sense that they want to stay in edmonton n stay together <- like not even in an insane person edmonton polycule type of way in the they'r #the best players in the world and have insane chemistry on the ice and are eachother's best friends type of way #like a reason why their pp is so lethal is bc those two on a line + the other team down yeah ofc thats going to be automatic #and leon saying that their best beats anyone else's best no doubt and connor talking about building the team from the ground up like leon w #s there when they got boo'd off the ice in 2014 he was a part of building the team that's thier damn team and in turn the sheer amount of #respect the rest of the team have for them and they have for the rest of the team and the trust that while they're the best players they #don't have to play for all of them n that's part of thier whole like. our fourth line stands up to any other first line rock solid belief #like and ofc thier on ice hugs and lockerroom hugs and that moment in the sportsnet knee injury doc and how they mention that they're best #friends whenever theyre asked and how their gf's are also best friends and also their damn dogs #NOT TO MENTION. he's my ride or die. im really lucky our paths crossed here in edmonton. as a friend it was really tough to watch that #<- leon's insane 2022 playoff run on a broken ankle #and the way leon's been dubbed the german gretzky and connor's been the next next one since he was 15 and the way they have such a solid #control of the lockerroom together and i dont know if they've ever said conflicting things to the media and how they've said that they push #eachother to be better (connor saying that leon told him to score more) #and their little taps throughout their season and bringing back their team from the dead and leon being the one to make connor laugh in #pressers and on the bench #ALL TO SAY. like i am a mc.matt.drai enjoyer in the threesome/winners room/asg/2997 are actually quite abnormal about eachother and matthew #has never been normal about anything in his life and this might be fun. kinda way #but 2997 are soulbonded in ways quite possibly none of us will ever be able to truly understand #<- also i do mean this genuinely like they're not normal people but both of them are not normal #SORRY FOR RAMBLING. i just wish there was better written fanfiction. #<- wish to be the change you see in the world innit tho #so funny to me how the eh is just canadian innit.

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

oughh......

#laya plays dragon age #da2 #oc: liam hawke #this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that #but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH. #i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok #bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years #years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard #and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left #and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it #varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home #drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother #and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life #and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision #but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings #and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade #and he cant do it #and he hates it so much. but he wont do it. #and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways #if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands #as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even #the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it #but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too #if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more #''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me #dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more #or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever #anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again

[yorshie]

Guys I’m losing it over here I have never wanted to break the fourth wall so badly and strangle a character.

#god it’s so good #I might have broken for a minute and put the phone down and laughed like a crazy person #oooooo i wanna drop a piano on him. a heavy one. and organ. a whole fucking church organ

[kindaorangey]

so like whether someone enjoys eeaao or not generally breaks down to their ability to accept sincerity and absurdity in rapid succession, basically having elasticity when it comes to things that break your immersion and things that require your full immersion, and anyway i think the reason i can do that with so many things (not just eeaao) is because i grew up watching pantomimes

#thunder rambles #wrote this post in a few different ways. decided there was no good way to get my point across. decided on the 'i refuse to elaborate' part #part? sorry i meant method😭im on mobile and im not retyping #anyway heres the elaboration if ur interested #pantomimes are built around a broken down third wall and are largely very superficial and comedic #however you still have scenes where you are immersed in the comedy and forget that its just actors on a stage #and then you have scenes where the actors are talking to you (or forgetting their lines!) and that immersion is broken but that breakage is #owned by the actor #and i watched a lot of these #and yeah yeah everyone nowadays loves absurdism because of the sociapolitical state of the world. so im not special for liking absurdism #but i think i am relatively alone in my ability to switch between absurdity and sincerity so rapidly? #and its the thing that endears me to something the most #so bojack horseman miraculous ladybug eeaao #that back to the future parody that got claimed by incels #all of it has complete tonal whiplash but often carried very well #like i never laugh harder at anything than at an episode of ml #and i am laughing at the intentional jokes but most of the time im mocking the sheer ludicrousness of it all #the plotholes the animation the characterisation whatever #but i do it out of love and im still down for the more serious scenes because they are SOOOO earnest and sweet #anyway yeah same is true for eeaao. hot dog fingers i will defend you forever and always #broken down FOURTH** wall. i swear to god im not drunk😭

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Here’s my messed up attempt at a horse (without references)

The legs tho

I mean

You're right about the legs going on for days lmao

I love your horse sdfsfs

#you see they are an anatomical nightmare #haha nightMARE lmao #I wanted to be on my laptop to answer this both to add a picture of an actual horse #and to add my own first attempt from before I said I was gonna learn to draw horses properly #(and then only tried like twice) #however I realised that I've. done a lot of horse stuff in my life and that was not the first time I'd broken it down into basic shapes- #and stuff so like. I realised it wouldn't be a fair comparison dsfdsf #I have a first otter attempt though from when I'd never drawn an otter before! #looks like a fuckin' dog! #drawing things you've never drawn before blind is really fun honestly #it's a laugh!! and then you try again after some tracing and some references and you're like #'wow... that looks SO much better' and it's great #but that first drawing is always fun to make I personally find it hilarious when I'm doing it #god I love this stuff ddgdfsg #i love your leggy horse it very much sparks joy #pop rox answers #friend art

[quicksweetdreamer]

Shadow and Bone - Season 2 episode 4

Live Nina and Jesper reaction

#shadow and bone #six of crows #shadow and bone season 2 #shadow and bone season two spoilers #kaz brekker #nina zenik #jesper fahey #I love this scene to bits #Freddy Carter as Kaz is just incredible #but when I watched this scene I couldn’t help but laugh at Nina and Jesper in the background #like… #Jesper creeping in and sitting at the bar like it’s the most subtle thing in the world #it is not #and Nina going from having her hands in the air looking worried #to putting her hands down and looking unsure of what she should do #to going to join Jesper at the bar because no one is paying any attention to her anymore anyway #and then the both of them silently watching the showdown while going through the entire emotion wheel #Idk maybe I’m broken but it made me laugh ok? XD #also I would like to tell you to click on the gifs for better quality but I STILL haven’t found how to make good quality gifs #so you’ll have to make do with my crappy gifs sorry #my post #my gifs

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!! #or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing #NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years #waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line #mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker #you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy #victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know #you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and #doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's #life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze #manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head? #This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and #poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy #she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he #said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch. #No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings. #bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk #that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!! #and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck. #Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he? #was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements #and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm #and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word #choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board. #Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself?? #'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person #how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person?? #Are you just living in some other reality??? #callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me #im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason

[coffee-bat]

hi not to vent again but you ever been so overwhelmingly injured that you actually feel like crying

#(tl;dr: ouch oof owie my bones) #sorry for venting here again i dont really have anyone to tell this to i dont wanna be whiney #but hghghghghhh #turns out the possible broken foot was the least of my problems #yknow how sometimes after you get multiple injuries you hyperfocus on one and dont realize the severity of others? yeah #i DEFINATELY sprained my right hip. #hurts when i move my leg. cant put any weight on it or it just buckles. my muscles spasm and my knee buckles down #both my knees hurt. or rather the ends of my femurs. it feels like i crushed the tips of both femurs #my toe(??) still hurts but i cant bother to focus on it anymore #my elbows hurt too. like ends of my upper arm bones #everything fucking hurts i can barely walk i want to cry everytime i move my bones itch like when theyre broken #i see no purpose going to the hospital. theyd just give me xrays and do nothing but keep me for 10 hours in the waiting room #i know they wont help. hell theyll probably laugh at me as usual. its just not worth it #but everytime i move i want to fucking cry. i need to complain a bit ig #sorry ignore this im just ventibg #vent #personal #and its frustrating bc im USED to this. i get injured SO often. i should be dealing with thisbetter. but rn its just too much #i have a developed high pain tolerance but this is just. too much. i cant focus on ignoring one thing bc multiple others hurt

[spaceagebachelormann]

. everyone ignore this i just need to scream at myslef in the tags for a sec

probably gonna delete later

#IGNORE RHIS I JUST NEED TI SCTEAM FIR A SECOND #im so stressed but idk why #well actually it’s mainly because my phones broken and it’s stressing me out cause the battery goes down really fast #and like i can’t go on it for 5 mins without it dying #also i have AO MUCH schoolwork and it’s basically being thrown at me and that’s not helping #and like. i KNOW in everyone’s eyes i’m just the childish friend and everytime i try to be serious #they assume i’m joking and start laughing #and they kinda suck as friends rn in general #and i’m not happy in my house and i’m not happy at school and like i can’t be happy anywhere now and idk why #and like it’s terrifying 😭😭 #i hate not being able to feel at ease anywhere #i just wanna go into a coma and wake up in a world where everything’s fine #anyways uh #if i’m sad or not as active don’t be worried </3 #tw vent #ziggy fucking screams 🌷

[vcrnons]

man. why was yuta in my dream again

#shut up j #this time he was a cool older guy whose car had broken down and he asked me if I could drive him to work #so I pulled up at his place at 8am and there are like 30 people all dressed UP in these clubbing fits #meanwhile im in my fuckin JIMJAMS AND FUZZY SLIPPERS. #and one of his friends came to my car and was like heyyyy come inside he’s just getting dressed. And I was like :| look at the state of me #hair scraped back. hormonal acne all over the joint. it was BAD but for some reason I did go inside anyway #asked this girl how on earth she looked so good at 8am and she just laughed and shook her head saying I had nothing to worry about #LIKE MAAM I WASNT WORRIED UNTIL NOW WHAT DO YOU M E A N. anyway I get inside and yuta finally comes downstairs and is in a whole suit #pressed trousers white shirt tie jacket. a whole SUIT. and he’s like ‘oh did you bring the Jack Daniels’ and I was like bitch NO GET IN THE #CAR ALR YOURE GONNA BE LATE #also WHAT fuckin jack daniels. ITS 8AM WHY DO YOU NEED WHISKEY #never did find out but 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyway #so then I drove him to work and he was being a menace the whole time. just. making fun of my driving and saying the pyjamas were cute #and then he was like ‘can u pick me up at 5 too? and bring the JD with u. thanks’ kissed my cheek and skedaddled #I don’t know what triggered this I just know im gonna tear down a house over it. I hate him😭😭😭😭 #I DONT KNOW THIS MAN WELL ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE UP IN MY DREAMS LIKE THIS😭 #can I pls have five minutes peace. good god

[snarltoothed]

yo barbies do have absolutely inhuman proportions and theyve given ken a truckload of cake. just an observation after play acting a barbie affair to a toddler and trying to reiterate the points her mom was trying to make every time she was upset through Ken, who had to be the voice of reason the way Barbie and Barnie kept hitting & yeling at him bc he had a baby with Barnie and their baby can magically fly and is causing a whole lot of problems and infected Dr. Mouse with her magical flying ability but neither of them are good at it and they keep sustaining what should be fatal injuries by jumping off of rooves and i got nowhere in probing about why Baby and Dr. Mouse want to hurt themselves and won’t just rest it off like Dr. Mouse said before she got magic infection and like Dr. Unicorn said before that before he died (permanently i guess she never brought him back lol) because this little girl had more insistence toward playing barbies for “just a little longer” than i have ever had toward ANYTHING…

(like. 2 hours of barbies prior to driving her around and hoping she’d sleep then bringing her to a playground trying to tire her out then the long way home to see if she’d pass out then for like 3 hours but ALAS she wanted to play barbies again within the hour and we continued on and off for 5. hours. i was three feet from the dolls to take my meds and a drink of water and she was like “ken…?” and i was like “one second honey ken is distracted by the movie but i’ll come back over in just a minute i just need to do something real quick” and she was just like “no! no!” and intensely cried for the 30 seconds it took me to swallow 👁👄👁)

((maybe i was also bossy af at her age, suppose maybe i wouldnt remember being tantrum prone toddler lmao… everything i remember i feel like i was pretty meek but i probs cried a lot. idk if i WAILED tho. my mom describes me as “perfect (in terms of childhood behavior) until puberty”. whereas my brother was a monster until about 3 or 4 and she isnt afraid to say so… either way no judgement unto the toddler, i probably started internalizing my feelings way too young for that to be healthy. tangent. my b.))

anyways point being: why are barbie’s legs still so fucking long??? her torso is more normal these days than 20 years ago but ye gods, the woman has still gotta be 7ft tall… and why can’t we out barbie in flats? literally why does she still have deformed ballerina feet? little girls don’t wear heels. little girls shouldn’t wear heels? not like that? because adult fucking women shouldn’t? (thankfully my psuedoneice wants everyone but ken naked ?)

SECOND POINT BEING: MOMFEMS, SINGLE MOMS, MOTHERS IN GENERAL… i have the utmost fucking respect for you. mothers do more for the world than ANY man, EVERY government & law system, fuck, even all the goddamn charities and every single scientific discovery presently known or yet to be found out. and it is NOT EASY WORK!! it is often THANKLESS WORK. it is always UNPAID WORK. mad fucking respect to moms. i could never.

#r #childposting #mom positivity #mother positivity #mother worship #disclaimer that obviously yes there are BAD mothers who neglect and/or abuse their kids and obviously i don’t condone that #this is how you know i love my bestie/basically sister #like it isnt that bad fr because i do love her and her daughter like family #but 7ish total hours of barbies until nearly 2am is not something you’d generally catch me subjecting myself to yknow #my bestie has a broken collar bone so she an her daughter have just kinda been stuck in the apartment w each other #and so she’s been doing this for like a week. plus her kid is starting to get sick of her and was being super mean to her #i knew she needed a break 😭 at least the kid wasnt mad at me #until she started nodding off trying to play barbies lmaoo #her eyes kept closing and she’d start to go limp then she was just forcing her eyes back open and screaming ‘no!’ for several minutes #we kept trying to ask like no WHAT girl we’re all just sitting here #until finally she got sooo mad that she was falling asleep she did her no thing then looked me dead in the eye and went ‘STOP DOING THAT’ #my reaction made her cry ☠️ i couldnt keep from laughing a little i was like girl i cant make you fall asleep youre doing that… #she was at the point where ANYTHING wouldve made her cry so i don’t feel that bad it was mostly just so funny #yknow. after she cried and screamed for ~60 seconds and immediately passed out once she laid down #it was less funny before that stopped

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

My dad at any given opportunity: “I used to have an as good or even better memory than [my name] and you know how good her memory is.”

I feel like this guy is competing with me by remembering how he was at my age — always has.

And (unrelated) if I criticize him or say anything at all with anything other than happiness or neutrality in my voice, his response is always “Sorry, but you have to understand I’m not feeling good right now. I’m trying to be a father to you; I wish I had a father at your age. I’m suffering. I have [this this and this] wrong with me; and THE ELDERS—“ Dad, Dad… you NEVER feel good; you know this and you’ve lied to me COUNTLESS times by saying you’d try to get help. Go to therapy for fuck’s sake.

“But Jehovah’s organization!” Fuck Jehovah’s organization. If Jehovah’s organization really cared about its members, you wouldn’t be so frightened of defaming its good name at the expense of your mental and PHYSICAL health. If Jehovah’s organization really cared for you, you wouldn’t be hiding your trauma from people who can help “because it’ll hurt Jehovah” like a wife who developed Stockholm syndrome from being beaten by her love-bombing husband.

#exjw #fuck everything about this #I understand you’re old and broken-down but you lack self-awareness in all the worst places #and it’s making you even older and more broken-down #religious trauma #I’m at the point where I can hardly stand being in the same room as him #I’m not asking for him to be happy or pleasant all the time… that’s impossible; I’m asking to be treated with some level of real respect #not as a weaker vessel #not as an object of competition #not as something he owns and has all the rights to because he and Mom tried for me and suffered to have me #I want to be treated as an adult offspring ought to be treated #No jokes or laughing about my sex or traits of neurodiversity #No homophobia #No emotional enmeshment or being treated like the therapist he refuses to seek out #No religious fearmongering #No judging my choice of self-made meals because they’re not “good enough” by his standards #No infantilizing

[mycological-mariner]

I love writing because I can have a character yelling at the others “Fuck your papayas!” and have it be a serious turning point in their arc

#anyways my main guy is with jungles as keith windham is with mountains #this mother fucker hates papaya and it STARTED as a gag #but now the papayas play an important role #kinda #my guy is just having a meltdown in the middle of a jungle and goes OFF on an anti-papaya monologue #love that for him #im fixing his mental health by breaking it down #the other two characters are watching him with varying levels of concern #’oh god something is broken that I can’t fix’ and ‘you INSULT my papaya tree???’ #anyways they all have issues but I like beating up on this one guy most of all #I’m gonna come back to rewrite this scene it’s still rough but I got the major beats down #the shapes are there just gotta sharpen them #I may cut the FUCK your papayas line but honestly it’s making me laugh in an otherwise horrible scene #(emotionally horrible - at least I HOPE) #anyways #writing #weeee! #he’s an angry little man #he’s an academic #hes horrible #i love him #‘fuck your papayas’ is 100% something I would say and may have done rip