#i feel So Deeply about Him

[bloominglegumes]

our large bipedal son who we found on the street

#watch as i keep drawing things that r too dark to see #transformers idw #tf idw1 #soundwave #laserbeak #buzzsaw #ravage #my art #urhhfhdshhfh #deeply hurt every time i think about their backstory #because they found him they saved him they raised him and then they end up at the head of 4 million years of war and theyre #theyre no longer a group of unlucky outcasts theyre the face of the decepticon menace and u think of all the ways theyve twisted and changed #the other cassettes joined from force or the perceived necessity of it as a fighting advantage but these four. they are the family and #and near the end of the run its brought up again how theyre separated across .so so far and they feel each other fade out it messes me up so #so bad like so incredibly bad

[prince-peachie]

Sleepy boys

#just chilling in bed #I’m fine #not sobbing #nope not me #help they’re so in love #even in sleep Andrew has to have his hands on him #I dunno something about them feeling safe to sleep deeply gets to me #also they deserve naps #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andriel #andrew minyard #the foxhole court

[nabtime]

Okay hear me out. Fenton parenting “i support my son being trans but i draw the line at him being a ghost” type situation yeah? Yeah. So like.

They still vivisect him and all that. But also give him top surgery. Since they’re already there and all.

Do you see my vision

#nap shitposts in the afterlife #danny phantom #like yeah this was a deeply traumatic event for dannny but also. free booblessness. #also like. the deeply complicated emotions around it all like 🤌 #on the one hand. relief at the confirmation they saw him as a boy. even if they stopped seeing him- #-as their son. bc he was a monster. not bc he was trans but bc he was a ghost. which- #-is a whole other can of worms. #so even tho they ignored him when he told them over and over that he was still their son- it wasn’t transphobia #and then there would be the sadness. the fear. the anger. #the anger at everything they took from him in one fell swoop and they didn’t even know. #how was he supposed to be happy about this step in his transition? proud of his scars? content to be shirtless? #he could never enjoy the feeling of going shirtless at the beach. not with the vivisection scars so vivid. not with the ugly memories there #anyway. also i think the concept is kinda funny.

[kaltacore]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

#sorry. i cannot shut up about this. this scene stuck with me the moment i saw it and i just couldn't get it out of my head #i mean. i liked essek well enough. i just got attached to other characters more. but then 'it's not fair' happened and it sealed the deal #it was just. so beautiful. so sincere. so important for a character who just started to learn how to care about people #his reaction wasn't intentional. it didn't change anything. but it showed how humane he had become. how deeply he cared #mighty nein are no joke pal #they're gonna make you feel all these unknown emotions like sympathy and love and affection even when they're incredibly painful #essek experiencing closeness and attachment in all their forms. as something beautiful and something aching. is so important to me #they saved him because they had good hearts! and these good hearts sparked so much joy around them! #but if a good heart grants you an ability to experience joy so profoundly. it makes everything else feel like that #you get it. i hope you get it. anyway e140 did so much psychic damage on me i probably will never recover #in a good way mostly <3 but yeah. yeah. it makes me feel a little insane #the mighty nein #essek thelyss #critical role

[hecksupremechips]

Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing

And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had

Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter

And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"

#aitsf #ai the somnium files #kaname date #mizuki date #THE DATES THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING AAAAAAAAA #its so funny though like imagine being such a bad parent that some loner who jerks off all the time does a better job than you #and hes literally never interacted with children before and is later revealed to have actually been an assassin #renju and shoko really just suck huh #and i dont mean to reduce date to a porno loving loser cuz nah like hes actually got so much depth going on in this situation like he cant #remember a single thing about his past he has no frame of reference for what a family is or if hes ever had one himself #which we then learn he. kinda didnt he was an orphan with no friends no name no one who came looking for him it seems #yet he still finds himself loving and caring for this girl and would literally die over and over for her to live a happy life #hes so genuinely kind and caring and deeply lonely and unsure of himself if hes doing this right #and he feels agonizing pain when hes forced to remember that he isnt mizukis real dad and that. he has nothing #but despite that he doesnt force mizuki to return these feelings because its a lot to burden a child with and shes been through enough #its like. kaname date i love youuuu please just adopt her already 🥺

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

#svsss #scum villian self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #the fact that people think scum villain #-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction- #is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me #especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater #heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series #he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters #(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy) #I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters #like example off the top of my head- #the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx #I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes #side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me #i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation #but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years #like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right? #being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain #the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too #+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu #as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing) #bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people #another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does #also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be #he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students #and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing #+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this #but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy

[sarcastic-clapping]

already seeing people who clearly don’t understand that a lot of us who are upset about what happened to marwa in this episode aren’t upset about the characters’ in-universe morality but the real life misogyny and racism in the way that this plot was handled lol

#seeing some very smooth brained takes here #’what so you’re mad that the vampire serial killer is a bad guy that made his serial killer familiar sad??? 🙄’ #nope! #i’m mad the writers stripped a female character of color of all her agency to make her subservient to a man #who she presumably (and canonically as freddie) continued to have sex with #despite the very very yucky implications about her ability to consent #only for him to forcibly remove everything about her that makes her an individual with her own thoughts and feelings #transforming her from a woman of color into a white british man #feel free to laugh if you want humor is subjective #it just makes me deeply uncomfortable! #wwdits spoilers #wwdits #anyway it’s ok to be critical of media you like guys #i love wwdits but imo they fucked up on this plot. it was a miss for me. #EDIT: shout out to this post for helping me curate my experience on this site by acting as a fly trap for assholes to block

[queer-reader-07]

the fact that crowley stopped jim from jumping out the window the moment it was clear that jim was not just gabriel fucking with everyone is so personal to me. because:

“okay, i know you’re testing them, you said you were going to be testing them. you shouldn’t test them to destruction.”

crowley was never going to let him jump out that window, he just needed to push him far enough to be sure it wasn’t gabriel.

#there’s something there about what this represents thematically but i’m too tired to figure it out right now #so feel free to pick it apart in the notes #anyways i love crowley sm #when i heard him say that line the first time it resonated deeply with me #it finally hit me why so many biblical stories rubbed me the wrong way growing up #why the way the school system works irks me to no end #no one deserves to be tested to destruction and i will happily die on that hill #good omens #crowley #anthony j crowley #jimbriel #archangel gabriel #archangel fucking gabriel

[twinstxrs]

the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.

being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.

it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.

so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.

#gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #btw these r just my personal opinions u r 100% free to disagree #gorgug & his rage interest me so deeply because of how deeply that rage existing seems to be against gorgug’s own will #like mechanically classes are choices & you can switch stuff around any time. but gorgug as a barbarian always felt like an unwilling choice #like that 14 y/o kid did not want to have rage. & that really interests me. #i’ve seen people before be like ‘what if gorgug dropped barbarian & went full srtificer’ but i feel like that simply can’t happen?? #mechanically yea sure but it always felt like a core part of gorgug that the rage will always be there & it’s a matter of how you channel it #idk. dnd classes narratively being treated as ‘you can not lose this part of you’ even though you technically can #gorgug could be lvl 19 artificer & he’d still have 1 level of barbarian. because that is part of who he is. #btw i don’t think porter truly cares about gorgug valuing his rage only as a way to be a human shield #i think porter just sees that as ‘wrong’ but like. not as in ‘you need to take care of yourself’ & more ‘you aren’t conforming’ #he thinks it’s wrong for the wrong reasons. the nastier ‘this is how you should be’ reasons #ppl being like ‘we r being too hard on porter. it’s an 150% courseload gorgug will be overwhelmed’ i think r missing the point bc like. #that is 100% a valid reason to not approve gorgug for multiclassing! but that’s also 100% not the reason porter rejected him. #that whole interaction was basically porter shoving his percieved version of conformity down gorgug’s throat. was v neurodivergent kid coded #no hate to anyone saying that last point btw these r all just opinions #thinking about last ep wilma & digby being like ‘you’re a great barbarian. you’re so great at it. but look at what you made!!!’ like. #they would never mean it like that. but when you only understand half of your son he is going to prioritize the half you do.

[dollypopup]

"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"

I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.

Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.

I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.

And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.

Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.

Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.

Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.

And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.

And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?

Absolutely no one.

Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.

And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.

I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.

Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.

Because he saw her when she was invisible.

Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?

Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.

He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.

And he does.

#polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #bridgerton #sorry y'all i just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out like they invented love what am i meant to do witH THAT INFORMATION!? #they just care about each other so much and so deeply #and they see the best in each other #penelope was hurt but she never HATED him #penelope was hurt and when she said 'i never thought you of all people could be so cruel' she also knew. . .he isn't #he isn't cruel #he's a young man trying his best in the world and he wanted to fit in and that made him say something hurtful about her #but he has a history of uplifting her #and he continues to do so #not one bad word about penelope all this season #'you are penelope featherington. . .never forget that' (you deserve the world) (you are amazing) #colin bridgerton said 'i love you' over and over this season and in the seasons before but we didn't hear it because we thought #it was only professed in one language #'you really are very good you know that?' 'you only wanted to keep me from heartache' 'what could possibly measure up to all that?' #'that you would never forsake me' 'you are pen. . .you are my friend. . .you do not count' (i could never give you up) #'i will always look after you penelope' #they are friends to lovers but there is love in that friendship #a deep beautiful love they have with each other #and sorry i'm ugly crying but i just adore them

[worstloki]

AU where Loki doesn’t interfere with Thor’s banishment at all and it takes Thor years to prove himself worthy and when he returns to Asgard everything is just. The same. Nothing seems to have changed at all and everyone greets him like his absence was a minor obstacle that didn’t fundamentally change Thor and the worst part is Loki stepped down from the place as regent without any delay and Thor can’t help but feel there’s something underlaying the way his brother looks at him now and won’t let him touch him and Thor doesn’t know what he could have missed because he doesn’t think he would have found anything wrong with the things around him and how everyone behaves if he hadn’t spent time on Earth reflecting.

#the warriors 4 not being interested in anything Thor ‘learnt’ at all #and making it clear that Thor was punished unfairly and the AllFather’s decision had been harsh #Loki saying he’s happy for Thor and Thor sees the way the smiles are forced and he sees the way Loki avoids any touch #Thor hating the way Frigga talks about Loki’s short regency and Thor’s absence like it wasn’t two whole decades or something #like she’s so grateful to have her other son back without ever addressing why he was gone #Thor just. growing during his time on earth and being much more aware of the behaviour around him #he learns to be critical and assess why people around him may act a certain way #once he realises that it’s possible for him or anyone else to be fallible and make mistakes it’s over for Asgard for him I think #Thor returns and Loki gives him the throne and everyone expects him to obviously have the throne #and Odin is sleeping and Thor isn’t comfortable with the way everyone accepts him as king regent after the banishment #Loki who either never lashed out against Jotunheim or did and it was brushed away and no one thinks about it as anything #but Loki is still deeply affected and acts the way he always would have but Thor can feel it’s not the same #he knows something is wrong and Loki won’t say anything about it and Thor doesn’t know how to bring it up #Thor sees Loki metaphorically receding into the shadows to become a nonpresence so loud Thor hears it even after returning from decades away #Thor goes to Earth and gets his priorities in order gets a new worldview learns not to take what he has for granted #and finds out he actually despised Asgard #he’s been back a week and he can’t stand it

[july-19th-club]

one of the good changes from episode one is the way the lead-up to their flight to camp is used also as a way to explore what grover's been through, how terrified he is of 'screwing up' a mission again, how much he kind of hates his job. because he befriends these kids, he's really just a kid himself, still, and then he has to lie to them and push them away for the mission as a whole, and aryan sells how much he just hates it. how convinced he is that getting only one of and not both of the people whose safety he's entrusted with to camp IS 'failure' and not 'as much success as could be expected, under the circumstances'. he's got this anxiety that stems from feeling older than and having more responsibility expected of him than the children he meets, befriends, and guides to camp, but he's not really older, not emotionally, not in terms of anything except raw years, which doesn't really mean as much as he thinks it does when, for instance, he was also seven for twice as long as a human boy. but he's surrounded by not just humans, but human hybrids who die super young, so that is the time scale he thinks on, and he DOES feel older and he does feel a responsibility! in the book he's basically out of the picture for this sequence, so i really enjoyed getting to see some stuff geared towards his past and his goals and his issues . hi sweetheart i always loved you and you're going to find a god who's spent thousands of years hiding from everyone but you, because you care about him more than anyone else ever, ever has, and when he dies you're gonna put what's left of his soul in your heart and i love you so much

#like mister kind of always about to cry and everyone can tell. did you know you're the only person your god wants to talk to #do you even know that yet #like his anxiety is always about his duty of care. towards his friends towards his community towards his faith #and he never feels like he can measure up because he's not a tough guy or a wily guy. he's just DEEPLY resoundingly nurturing #and he lives in adhd greek warrior town where everyone is FAST and BRAWWW so he thinks this is the wrong thing to be #and then he gets anxiety about his anxiety #etc. can you tell i always really related a lot to him #pjo

[homophyte]

its an episode about the many ways morty fears rick.

its about being afraid of rick and being afraid of his sadness and his callousness and his power. its about morty knowing the power rick has over him and being afraid of that. and knowing that ricks decisions are fickle and often Bad and that morty is going to be beholden to them. when rick jumps morty is forced to follow after and pay the same price for no crime. and the fear that for his loyalty and obedience there is no reward . Morty Is Afraid Of Being A Dog.

if rick is in a simulation where hes given everything he wants and hes too selfish and cowardly to leave when it threatens his life, morty will have to die with him.

if rick is in a simulation where he has the option of pretending nothing is wrong and everything is fine and hes too selfish and cowardly to admit its a lie even when it threatens his life, morty will have to die with him.

if rick is forced to admit he cares for morty or die he would die before saying it. and morty knows it. and Im Going Crazy

#myposts #liberated from dms bc im going crazyyyy bitch!!!! what!!!!!!! #i had to stop wathcing rick and morty bc the abuse narrative made me too insane #they were like freaky music playing over rick explictly saying he cares about morty and i was like screams #sorry theres somethijg so fuckingh. So. about morty fearing that rick wouldnt jump in the hole with him #and rick in fact not jumping into the hole with him. #like the whole. episode hinges on morty feeling thats hes actually beholden to RICKS fears and ricks decisions and ricks power over him #such that the reveal that its all been his own fears--OF RICK--is. ooooooughghgh its amazing #genuinely. i think one of the best episodes of the whole show #something so. ominous. about rick at the end mimicking morty from the beginning #like hes about to go on his own--as we watched morty play out the fear he would be too weak to leave-- #only to show this proof he cares deeply for morty. only to realize that is in fact just as scary. #like double subversion--hes not doing the obvious scary thing but the thing he does instead is just. scary in a different way #rick and morty #fear no mort

[herotune]

so much shadow around us. to think we almost missed the light...

(a belated entry for wyll week day 6! favorite ship...i adore them ok)

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #wyllstarion #wyll ravengard #astarion #astarion ancunin #wyll week #wyllvember #wyllweek #baldurs gate 3 #my art #herotune #i have so many. So many thoughts about them #theyre both. honestly exactly what the other needs...wyll finding someone who loves him and cares for him deeply despite or perhaps #even because of his very human flaws and wont weigh any expectations that he be this perfect fairytale hero over his head #and astarion finding someone gentle and kind who can help him feel safe to express the compassion he very much still has #but has not been safe to express for so long. #theyd balance each other really really well i think... #wyll really does need someone who wont levy expectations he cant live up to over him...who wouldnt care whether he can live up to the image #hes made for himself. of this perfect hero that he definitely feels like hes got to live up to and in a lot of ways Does. #but he still cant help the fact hes ultimately human. and thats okay... #i have a lot of thoughts about both of them in general actually 😭..........individually and together... #i think they also find solace in the fact they both feel like monsters despite that not. actually being true. some of their interactions #esp in an origin run for both of them feel that way already...wyll is also weirdly into the vampire stuff fsr its so funny shdfgjfkdk #anyway. gay people. i love them...

[biblicalhorror]

Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea

#honestly fabian might not even fully know yet #a core part of fabians character is that he is so deeply afraid of rejection that he is never going to pursue the people he actually wants #i do think he likes Maezy a lot but i think he only knows how to pursue hot toxic women that will discard him at a moments notice #which in a way protects him from ever actually dealing with heartbreak #is he a gay man dealing with comphet? ehh maybe #i could see that #but I think the vibe i get is more about how he has these platonic friends he completely adores and is fully devoted to #and then in another category he has the people that he does not have any actual attachment to that he will allow himself to pursue #and crossing the boundaries in between those two categories or allowing himself to pursue someone he really cares for #would require a level of vulnerability he is in no way prepared for #in his home life he has an emotionally detached mother who is well liked but kind of floats through interactions on a surface level #and a father who is extremely concerned with fame and glory and attention but doesnt seem to have ever stopped moving in his life #genuinely fabian does not know what a safe loving partnership would look like #and we see him constantly oscillating between emulating his mother and his father in relationships #but just beneath the surface is a little boy who wants so badly to cling to his loved ones so tight and be squeezed right back #with no way of knowing how to even ask for that if he wanted #and riz is his best friend in the world and he knows on some level that riz is simply not interested in having that kind of relationship #not on the level fabian needs #but that also makes riz a safe target for these feelings of devotion #theyre just friends! just besties! fabian never has to reckon with his own loneliness or harmful patterns #if he channels all of his yearning for closeness onto his best friend #anyway! this boy needs therapy #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fabriz

[southstand]

HARRY KANE (10) & SON HEUNGMIN (7) OF TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR The greatest partnership to ever exist in the world of football. “When you turn, I will be always there.”

BBC Sport / Kane and Son break the all-time record for Premier League goal combinations / The Guardian / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Liverpool 1-1 Tottenham, 07th May 2022 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Manchester United 1-6 Tottenham, 04th October 2020 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Aston Villa 0-4 Tottenham, 09th April 2022 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Tottenham 2-0 West Ham United / Kane on Twitter after assisting Son on 4 goals against Southampton / Tottenham 1-0 Burnley, 26th Oct 2020 / Nice to Mich You, Son Heungmin / Premier League / Kane and Son hug during Manchester City 2-3 Tottenham, 19th Feb 2022 / Kane and Son hug during Tottenham 1-0 Crystal Palace, 20th Sept 2015 / Kane consoles Son during the Carabao Cup final against Manchester City / Kane and Son celebrate during Tottenham 5-2 Southampton, 26th Dec 2017 / Commentator on the Kane and Son partnership / Tottenham 2-0 Arsenal, 06th Dec 2020 / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’ / Stray Kids, I am YOU / Kane and Son celebrate during a 6-1 game against Leicester City, 18th May 2017 / Kane and Son celebrate during a 4-0 game against Everton, 13th Jan 2018 / Kane on Twitter / Frank O’Hara, ‘Morning’ / Kane wins the Golden Boot 20/21 / Son wins the Golden Boot 21/22 / Kane assists Son against Southampton / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’ / Mitski, Francis Forever / YouTube: Record breakers! Kane & Son react to becoming Premier League’s most deadly duo! / FootballJOE on Twitter, referencing Son’s trademark goal celebration, the ‘camera,’ through which he is looking at Kane / Gang of Youths, ‘Achilles Come Down’ / Kane and Son celebrate their goal against Arsenal / Kane on his relationship and link-ups with Son / Son and Kane on Instagram / Kane and Son after Kane assisted Son on four goals against Southampton / Tottenham 3-2 Ajax, 08th May 2019 / cr. Shaun Botterill, Getty Images / Commentator on the Kane and Son partnership / Tottenham 3-2 Manchester City, 19th Feb 2022 / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’

#footballedit #kaneson #tottenham hotspur #harry kane #son heungmin #son heung min #heungmin son #heung min son #tottenham #football #this is my magnum opus i spent an actual insane amount of time on this ... there is something SO deeply wrong with me. #i feel like this isn't enough to encompass the love they have for each other there needs to be MORE ... but i tried my best #in the end do you ever think about how they both grew up on different sides of the world with nothing binding them apart from a shared #desire to play football and to be the best at it. and how more than 2 decades later they found each other in london and became part of each #other's stories. because that's the crux of it isn't it? there will be no book written about one of them without mentioning the other. #they've become so intertwined over the years you can't tell where one starts and the other ends. #the amount of respect and admiration that they hold for each other is actually insane. like sonny talking about how harry is the best #striker in the world and - not pictured here - how he believed he could win the golden boot at the world cup last year which uh. #that was never going to happen but it's the FAITH. the unwavering relentless FAITH!!! that he has in him :((( #or the DIFFERENT way harry loves sonny oh i could pen tomes about it really but the point is that he opens up around him and he sheds that #stoic and untouchable persona and actually laughs and giggles and smiles in interviews with him and never doubts him. ever. #i couldn't fit in 'never in doubt' here but NEVER IN DOUBT!!! #'when you turn i will be always there.' how goddamn romantic is that then. #the thing is that they were born to be together. they were meant to play with each other. #there will never be another duo like them. #rahul.gif