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#i enjoy watching you suffer
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sweet child, you didn't even stand a chance
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ptsdangeldust · 4 months
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i know people like to joke about how vox and alastor bicker like a divorced couple but like alastor would never actually date anyone in my mind. he would absolutely string along some idiot he likes to fuck with though. he would absolutely be purposely vague enough to let vox *believe* they’re dating for a period of time and then finally get bored and ghost him for a while and come back like “we were dating? i never noticed.”
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wonderlandhour · 5 days
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Ok, call me crazy, but I have a theory. And it might not necessarily be a theory, maybe just an observance, but I noticed something with Malleus Overblot.
Warning - Spoilers for Book 7
So as we all know, the main plot point that leads up to Malleus overblotting is Lilia leaving NRC due to a loss of his magic. But over the books, I've noticed something. In Book 6 we learn that overblots are less a sudden intense outpouring of blot and negative emotion, and more like the tipping point of an amalgamation of years of buildup. I find that made a lot of sense with what I'd noticed, because with the blot gathering cut scenes, even in parts where it seems like things are going pretty well (like with Azul, Jamil, and Leona all having the upper hand until almost the very last moment), it gives a sense of dread and things taking a darker turn.
And while some of them make a lot of sense (Vil's ever growing obsession and losses to Neige or Riddle's constant fights with the main gang and his own dorm), in the instances where the blot buildup doesn't makes sense, Book 6 fave it clarity.
But I noticed that there's always a tipping point. A snap where you can see the character in question starts acting differently or odd. Riddle was violent and sudden, all of them were. But Azul was the first and most obvious example of this snap that I noticed. Leona destroys everything he worked so hard for, it cuts back to us and the tweels, and when we get back to Octanivelle, Azul's gone batshit. Literally. He snapped in every sense of the word. Riddle's snap wasn't obvious to me aside from the absurdity of Ace punching him, until I looked back. Riddle's snap was Trey going against him. Leona's was finding out he not only got found out, but got foiled. Jamil's was thinking the whole world saw his plans (which I believe was actually less just his own plans getting fucked but also a reaction to the fact that if he got found out by thr Asim's, his family might not survive their wrath but that's for another time.) Vil's snap wasn't even what lead up to him attempting to poison Neige, because he acts normal right after when Rook takes the juice. His snap is Kalim stopping him from hurting Rook with said poison. Idia's snap, I don't think was in the underworld talking to the original Ortho. I think Idia's snap was hearing Ortho call him Idy.
But Malleus? While the lead up is all about Lilia's impending leave, his loss of one of his only people. The only person who's been there his whole life. His dad. He's no where near Lilia when he snaps. He's already snapped when he shows up in the party with Silver and talks Maleficent monologuing. You can so easily spot his snap, because similar to Azul, he goes batshit. Silver notices it right away with Malleus laughing suddenly.
The begs the question, why did he snap with Silver. They were talking about Lilia, and Silver was crying, but to me. It didn't feel like that snap was about Lilia. It felt like it was about Silver. I'm one of those people who believes that Malleus and Silver are like brothers. They have a bond like that, even if they don't act on it in cannon. They're supposed to be a prince and bodyguard, those are their roles, and they're good at playing them for a reason. But that's the thing. If that's all they were, why would Silver, who doesn't show that much emotion is general, who's calm and collected, who runs out in what seems like a near panicked state to find Mallsus before Lilia leaves, start bawling his eyes out in front of Malleus. With barely a nudge?
They were both essentially raised by the same man. They are brothers through Lilia. Malleus has almost no one, he clings to Yuu because they treat him as if he were just another person. Just as Lilia does. Just as Silver often does. Sebek is the only one of the group who treats Malleus the way we could expect someone from Briar Valley might. Sebek is a whole other thing, but wouldn't Silver, who was raised by Lilia, who was taken in by his grandmother the queen, who guarded his and acted as her general, treat him similarly?
He does! We see it in events like the Glorious Masquerade, he is still Malleus's bodyguard for a reason! But if Lilia's relationship with Melanor was like Silver's with Malleus, it makes sense that their relationship would reflect that of their parents. And it has the added effect of Malleus being an orphan as well, and as far as I can tell (and an eng player trying to not get too many spoilers), Lilia takes a major role in Malleus's youth. He might not have been there constantly when he was younger, but he was there. And he was the only one who (besides probably his very busy grandmother) didnt treat Malleus as something to be feared or revered.
But what does this all have to do with Malleus snapping and overblotting? Malleus and Silver have a very specific relationship in cannon. Its professional decently often, but it's also soft. Silver will absolutely protect Malleus, but he knows that he doesn't always want or need it. He doesn't need to be observed like a hawk 24/7 if something goes sideways. (Seen in how quickly he and Sebek check on Malleus after the attack in book 6, and how calm Silver is while Sebek is panicking over a missing Malleus he wouldn't leave alone later on).
Malleus barely has to say anything to Silver before he breaks down in tears about everything with Lilia. I know as someone who be very private with what's bothering me, the only person who could get me to break down that hard and that fast would be someone I consider family. Silver so inherently trusts Malleus that he'll sob and cry in front of him with so little. He's desperate and shattering. The only person he let see that was Malleus.
Then Malleus laughs, and Silver's caught of guard. That basically proved that this is his snap, because it pretty much fully implies that this is out of character for the prince. Silver would take the laughter and the teleporation is sride. Instead he's shocked and bewildered through both of those things, confused when they show up at Diasomnia.
Malleus only goes back and quickly overblots because he'd already hit the point of overblotting. But it required blot, and he hadn't used any magic for that blot like everyone else until he got back and everyone started fighting him. He overblotted because losing Lilia killed him. But he didn't Overblot until the only other person beside the newcomer Yuu (who was also trying to figure out how to leave him) who treated him like a normal person expressed his exact feelings.
Neither brother wanted their dad to leave, but Lilia was leaving, and it broke Silver. And thus, Malleus snapped and overblotted because of Silver.
Anyways I'm not very good at articulating myself sometimes but this is just a long-winded way of saying I think malleus actually only fully overblotted because his little brother sobbed for their dad leaving them and his need for the few people he has was combined with his need to protect them (aka the sweet dreams and forcefullness of them) and Silver's breakdown was just the final straw. He kept Lilia and everyone else via their dreams safe because it meant they were all together and happy.
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why is it always i love you and never i am under a love spell and this spell cannot be urinated out of me
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sluckythewizard · 1 month
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BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary
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"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.
Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.
One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.
Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.
The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.
Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?
A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.
But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.
As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.
The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.
Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.
"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.
"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.
But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.
"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.
"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."
Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.
"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?
Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...
"Hey, are you okay?"
The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.
"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.
But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?
The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.
The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.
"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"
"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.
The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.
It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.
Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.
Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"
Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.
"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"
"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.
"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.
"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."
"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.
While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.
"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.
The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.
The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.
A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.
That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.
The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.
Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.
It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.
It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.
Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?
The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.
"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.
Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.
Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.
He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.
Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.
A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.
It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.
Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.
Like a mouse to a snake.
This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.
The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?
Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.
His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.
A STARTLING RINGING;
Splits the moment,
Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,
As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.
Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.
"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"
Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.
Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.
"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"
Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.
"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.
Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .
As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.
The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.
"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.
"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."
The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.
"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."
"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.
He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.
#NO TAGS ON THIS ONE BC WELL. IM SHY. IM TAKING A BIG LEAP JUST BY ALLOWING U TO REBLOG THIS. IF IT BREAKS CONTAINMENT THATS UR FAULT.#i unfortunately suffer from the disease of 'i hate everything i write the day after i write it' BUT IM GETTING TREATED#I WILL NOT BE HAUNTED BY THIS WEAKNESS FOREVER. AND HEY LOOK THIS IS THE FIRST ACTUAL FIC BIT IVE EVER FINISHED..#ITS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!! AND BY JOBE I WILL BE PROUD EVEN IF I HATE IT.#i dont always need to be the one who likes my art bc i know Someone out there will always enjoy it.#and to that someone i say: omg thankyou i LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU!!!!!#JUST DELETED A WHOLE RAMBLE I JUST HAD ABT NERVOUS DISCLAIMERS FOR MY ART BUT I DONT NEED EM!!#GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT. ANYWAY. so emizel and soda huh#THEYRE SO CUTE TOGEEHTERRRR TEEHEHEHEHEEEE they are the homies that kiss eachother goodnight like CMON#but uhh so hey your bestest friend in da world just got turned into a freaky creature thing that eats ppl#ieah yknowthe guy that u care about alot that u had to watch get bled out by another freaky creature thing in an alleyway#yeaaah and you were super hurt and weak and stupid and u couldnt do jack nor shit to help him#what was i talking about again. RIGHT so hes even cooler now bc he cant die n hes super strong n his arms can be knives. sometimes.#but also he can eat people now. and sometimes he cant stop himself from eating people. and thats kinda scary. but in a cool way.#but also in a disturbing way. but also in an interesting way?but also in a freaky way.the feelings ARE MIXED!!!ATLEAST I THINK THEY WOULD B#okay again i havnt listened to the suckening ina bit. so its been a minute since i absorbed their personalities. i could be misreading or#misremembering or misconstruing or mischaracterizing or WHATEVER. i think the confusion carries its intended effect#LOSING MY TRAIN O THOUGHT. anyway i love soda n emizel i hope they get locked in a saw trap together or somethign. for enrichment.#TALOS GRANT ME THE STRENGHT TO POST MY CREATIONS ON LINE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHH!!!!!!!
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keyofjetwolf · 5 months
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So far 2024 has seen me knocked flat by a cold, but hey, enabled my first book of the year to start and finish!
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wickedlittleoz · 7 months
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Hanzo is three, dashing down the halls in the estate to the agony of his nanny, who's trying her best to catch up to him after he ran off while she was using the bathroom. He's giggling, excited, tiny hands reaching out before him for whatever they can grab onto; diving under legs and furniture, until at last he reaches the desired door: his baby brother's nursery.
"Mama!" He calls out, small knuckles rasping against the door softly. There's a minute of pause before his mother comes to the door and in the meantime the nanny finally manages to reach him. She quickly scoops him into her arms as he wiggles and whines.
The door slides open and the nanny is quick to bow her head and say, "I'm very sorry, madam-"
With a kind smile and a gentle tone, the woman cuts in, "Not a problem. It's his big day, right Hanzo?"
Though she's holding a week-old Genji in her arms, Hanzo throws himself at her and she leans in to kiss his face and give him a sideway hug. "Here, say happy birthday to your big brother, Genji," she coos softly as the baby stares up at them with big, round, curious eyes.
Hanzo leans closer to the newborn as the nanny pulls him back. "Be gentle, now," his mother says when he inches closer again. He presses a very soft kiss to Genji's forehead and the baby giggles in response. Both women laugh at the cuteness of that moment.
-
Hanzo is ten, sitting quietly on a bench, watching as about a dozen kids in Halloween costumes run around the estate grounds. Genji is among them, his vampire cape flapping behind him in the cold night breeze. He sighs, looking down at the bag of sweets in his hands, full to the brim. But none of it is his - it's Genji's.
It's all about Genji these days.
The crunch of heavy feet on gravel has him involuntarily straightening his back. The hand lands on his nape, strong and controlling.
"Get your brother," Sojiro says without looking down at Hanzo. "We're cutting the cake."
He backs off without another word and Hanzo breathes in relief. Sometimes, like now, he misses mother so much it hurts. But he can't show his pain to anyone, doesn't want father to think he's weak. So he collects himself and gets up, calling out for Genji and their friends.
When they stand side by side at their shared birthday table, Hanzo realizes they forgot to write his name on the cake. The family governess has to add a "And Hanzo!" at the end of Happy birthday to you because father calls out Genji's name and claps loudly as if that were the end of the song and there was no one else worth mentioning.
He feels sick, like he might throw up on the cake, so as soon as the singing is over and everyone is busying themselves with candies, he disappears from the crowd and locks himself up in his bedroom. He doesn't come out until the next morning, when everyone - including him - can pretend nothing out of the ordinary happened.
-
Hanzo is twenty-two, blowing cigarette smoke into the night air at the window. He knows that he should sleep, but can't seem to relax. This room feels too big for him, as do the shoes that he's having to fill since father's very recent death. He's been trained for this job all his life, but now that it's here, he doesn't feel prepared.
The door behind him slides open and he doesn't have to look to know that it's Genji. Hanzo continues staring at the cloudless sky until a body presses behind his, one arm going around his middle and the other reaching out until Genji steals the cigarette from his hand.
They smoke in silence for a moment. Genji puts out the butt on the windowsill and he finally glances towards his brother, reprimanding. All Genji does is smirk; he'd done it on purpose, to get Hanzo's attention.
The hand around his waist crawls all the way up to his hair, brushing gently at his temples. He feels as Genji tries to curl it around his fingers, but his hair is too short now, so he just plays adoringly with it.
"It's almost time," Genji says in a whisper. "I got you a present."
Hanzo looks at him again, eyebrows shooting up. Genji has never been most thoughtful... But maybe losing father has made him realize people can just. Be gone someday, out of nowhere. It has certainly made Hanzo painfully aware of that.
"You shouldn't have," he says, but as Genji's hand travels once again to wrap around his, he allows himself to be dragged away from the window and walked back towards the bed.
When he sits at the end of the bed, Genji is quick to once again curl himself around Hanzo's body; one of his legs around his back, the other over his lap, chest glued to Hanzo's side. He holds Genji's waist and watches as he pulls a tiny velvet bag from his pocket. He tugs at Hanzo's free hand until he's holding it out, palm up, so he can dump the contents of the bag in Hanzo's hold.
It's a pair of golden bands that he immediately recognizes as their parents' wedding rings. Hanzo gasps, hand shaking as if the metal could burn him. His stomach feels cold as he stares at the rings and tears threaten to spill from his eyes; he misses mother more than ever, and even though losing father felt like freedom, he misses what he represented in their lives - the figure of authority that Hanzo didn't have to be.
"Hanzo," Genji starts and he forces his eyes to move to his brother's face. "It's you and me now."
This thought, though to Genji it might mean something else, to him is a relief. He has Genji, so what else could Hanzo need? Besides, he is at the head of the family now, and he wants his brother at his side. He will have it his way.
There are tears in Genji's eyes, too, when he adds, "I'm yours if you're mine."
And for the first time since father died, Hanzo allows himself to cry.
He pulls his hand free from Genji's waist and takes the ring, slides it reverently onto the finger that his brother holds out. Cries silently as Genji does the same to him. When they kiss, it tastes like fear, salt and love.
-
Hanzo is twenty-five, hands shaking and covered in blood as he fumbles with Genji's corpse for the wedding ring. His katana rests at his feet, bloodied and sharp.
He did not have things his way.
-
Hanzo is thirty, barging uninvited into the Shimada estate to make an offering to Genji's spirit in the temple. His katana rests on the altar like a trophy. Genji lives in his heart.
-
Hanzo is forty-one, climbing to his feet and crossing his room in Gibraltar in silent strides. The old bag he hides at the back of his wardrobe has a secret compartment, a hole in the lining that he's used for over a decade now to hide a certain box.
When he returns to the bed, heart racing with anxiety, Genji is still blinking awake. But he smiles a sleepy thing and reaches out for Hanzo, who slips back into his arms. Genji spends a good minute laying a plethora of kisses over his face, neck, arms, hands; crushing Hanzo in a passionate hug.
His voice is croaky when he murmurs, "Happy birthday, old man."
Hanzo just chuckles. "Don't worry, you'll get there."
But he's hit with a wave of gratitude - to Mercy, to the gods, to the universe - that he knows Genji will get to 41, too. When for years he spent his and Genji's birthdays wallowing in guilt that his brother never knew 23, 24, 25... All thanks to him.
"We'll be celebrating in the retirement home," Genji jokes and he laughs again. He would have it no other way; having Genji at his side until the end of their lives is his only plan for the future.
Hanzo sits up, then, and Genji follows him with his eyes. Curious eyes, like that week-old baby; gaze that doesn't lose a single move while Hanzo digs out the small box and gently opens it. The shine of gold has dulled some after years of dust and lack of wear. Hanzo surprises himself that he still remembers which is which.
He takes Genji's hand, holds it with the same reverence he had that night, almost two decades ago, in his bedroom in Hanamura. The ring slips easily and fits with perfection onto his finger. It's as if time hasn't passed at all, but it has. So much of it has - and thank the gods for that.
Genji is the one to gasp and freeze in place this time, staring at the ring, at Hanzo's face. Doubtless running over the memories from that night as well. His face doesn't betray a single emotion as he slides Hanzo's ring into place and Hanzo fears that this was a mistake, that maybe some mementos are meant to be just that - objects to remember the past by. Not things to build a present and future with.
But Genji brings his hand to his face and kisses the ring, and sits up to kiss him on the lips, and Hanzo knows they're fine. They're more than fine, they're-
"-yours and you're mine," his lips moving around the words that Genji whispers, and though it's early morning and so much has yet to happen today, this has to be his best birthday by far.
Life sure has its way of making all the right things fall into all the right places, sooner or later.
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mazojo · 1 year
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Min Ho is kind of an ass but he is a funny ass
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ctl-yuejie · 11 months
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you remembered, quite observant |hidden agenda ep. 1
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fitzrove · 1 month
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[shaking and biting] but what does it MEAN. what does it SAY what is the THEME
#akkdlflf i watched this long lecture video abt austrian national identity and the researcher said 'the austrians are quite adept at#selling the austro hungarian monarchy back to tourists incl ones from former parts of the empire... but even in the imperial nostalgia they#don't want back multilingualism or multiculturalism or any of what it actually was'#(it was a lot abt the way in which austria deals with orban's hungary in and after the 2015 refugee crisis)#ajskgldo and that just made me think about... how pointless some things feel. both in fiction and in academic research#you CAN say meaningful things about almost any topic and with almost any argument! but in some strands of history trying to 'uncover events'#with no exploration of the context and what it all MEANS and what the things we think about it mean#is the most prevalent and popular type of research :/ like there's a reason i overrely on hamann's bio of rudolf because her central thesis#is that he wasnt a crazy murderer but someone with a forward-thinking political vision that went as far as suggesting a sort of 'proto-EU'#among other things#so like. she is looking at what it all MEANS!!!#and like. my favourite todolf fanfics are also like that 😂😭 perhaps not abt politics but about suffering and power dynamics and guilt#same for original fiction. i'm never happy if a book i'm reading isnt saying something#or then again - this is more personal pickiness but. they should also be saying something NEW AND INTERESTING#a lot of the time. sometimes if you have a fave trope you can just enjoy it over and over#but idk even tropey stuff can say things#ajlsldkfkf i'm just so tired of kitsch in all its forms and also of bad science
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tubes-the-ann · 1 month
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Yup, you’ve guessed it. More Pokerogue ramblings instead of art today :>
Specifically because I didn’t know your rival gets a Rayquaza with 4 health bars. It’s also shiny….
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That battle alone took so long that the website keeps reloading in the middle of it… ;-; But in the end, Dragonite came in clutch by Thunder wave-ing both RayRay and the Feraligatr that also had multiple health bars. Mr. Nite got the sky noodle down to its last health bar, Magnezone killed the shiny blue croc and the rest of Finn’s team is manageable.
The croc while terastallised did look pretty cool tho.
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Screenshot from one of the previous attempts that got reloaded by my poor internet.
The game also threw the Hoen elite four at me and then Champion Iris so that was cool I guess.
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In fact, I just beat her.
And now I’m in the sky….
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Or something like that, let’s see if I could get my first win in 4 days. I’ve been playing for 15 hours according to the stats.
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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Things that aren’t red flags but are flags nonetheless
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meowlier · 1 month
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sebastian is definitely going to suffer when he eats ciel's soul and I'm here for it
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Moon: "Glad you're okay, Dad. I'll be on the porch, not talking about this."
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jamiesfootball · 7 months
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🎃 trick or treat 🎃
You get a long snippet (act surprised):
Roy flipped to a page at random:
'Ah, la belle dame sans merci who lived in his heart, made known to him in transitory fading splendor by dark eyes in the Ritz-Carlton, by a shadowy glance from a passing carriage in the Bois de Boulogne!'
The book Ted had given Roy had started with, ‘It was a dark and stormy night.’
“Oi!” Jamie started, sitting up to give Roy a concerned frown. “This one isn’t the first in the series.”
Roy shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. They’re all supposed to be self-contained stories. Don’t think I’ve ever met a person who read Wodehouse in order.”
Mollified, Jamie settled back into the cushions with Roy’s book, seemingly unaware of the puzzle Roy was rotating in his head.
Within the first few pages, he had a good idea what Ted intended by giving Jamie this particular book. He also couldn’t help but notice that he’d been given a book fit for his six-year-old niece, and Sam had been given Ender’s Game, and somehow Jamie had been the unlucky bastard with a reading assignment that would make any university student want to stick pencils in their eyes.
Also Anthony Patch was a posh rich twat.
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itsalwaysforyou · 2 months
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one day i will write my fic idea where jal are kind of weird towards each other after the cotillion drama has died down. and they end up having a very convoluted conversation about why mal didn’t tell jay she wanted to go back to the isle…….
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