#i dont want to compete for anyones affection anymore

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

this should go without saying but “everyone can have ability to self advocate” and “everyone can self advocate right this second” are two different concept.

i say this even thought it sounds obvious because! see parents of nonspeaking level 3 autistic kid (but also adults) w high support needs say their kid don’t have functional communication, that they worried abt their offspring’s future—what happens if they die and not able to be here to take care of them anymore? their offspring dont have functional communication, can’t tell you anyone mistreated them abused them right now, and no idea if they will able to develop it in future.

and late diagnosed, lower support needs, and/or level 1, mostly speaking autistics come in very strong (many attack parents bc see “parent of autistic kid?” immediately think “ableist autism mom!!!”), accuse parents of not presuming competence, accuse parents of abuse, accuse parents prioritizing words over behavioral communication, accuse parents not listening to offspring’s behaviors. say “your child is self advocating, they can, don’t say they can’t!” or say or imply their child don’t self advocate right now because parents not do enough.

i’m all for presume competence. presume competence so so important. but, presume competence means “everyone can learn with proper support and accommodations, even if they may not seem like it on surface.” not “everyone have hidden skills they possess right this second everyone can do everything right now or eventually in the future!”

yes, most behavior is communication! (most not all bc tics, severe apraxia, etc). but the truth is behavior only goes so far. you can only communicate so much with behavior. even if other people presume every behavior as communication, may still misinterpret.

yes! you can argue screaming meltdown is communicating is self advocating! but screaming even two words “too loud! too loud! is different than screaming noises. in first scenario you immediately know what trigger meltdown! you immediately know what stimuli to remove! but the latter, just screaming noises—is it the noise? if it clothes scratchy? is it wrong spoon wrong plate? is it being interrupted? is it too many feelings?

“you can show them picture options and let them point! that is still self advocacy!” yes, but needing someone to provide you pictures is hardly same as able to go to pictures AAC yourself and select spontaneously.

not to mention that… the ability to know what you want to communicate, then go to pictures (whether app or physical printed), recognize what the pictures are, know what picture correlate to what you want communicate, have the motor skills and visual skills to pick the picture out of all the other pictures, then hand it to someone—all very basic skills taken for granted by most late diagnosed low support level 1 mostly speaking autistics. most probably never ever struggled with it. most probably don’t even realize so many nonspeaking kids and adults struggle with this. not everyone have ability to do this!! giving a nonspeaking minimally speaking person communication is not as simple as handing someone an AAC board and they magically can communicate.

what if what you want to communicate is not in picture?

all of these facts has become a taboo thing to admit in autistic circles.

and like i’m even nervous to say “everyone can have the ability to self advocate” because it’s such a extreme definitive generalizing sentence. who am i to make such a generalizing statement? do i know every possible manifestation of every possible disability that affect visual/motor/communication/cognition/etc? NO!

because you don’t know, because you are never sure, 100% presume competence. you never know. give them the chance to learn. see if any environmental factors are limiting them. try as much as you can.

but presume competence shouldn’t be weaponzied… not “if your child/client/etc unable to do this, you’re definitely bad abusive incompetent not doing enough all your fault” without nuance. sometimes it is the parent/professional/etc’s fault. sometimes it’s not.

a randomly selected nondisabled person, able bodied and neurotypical. learning to ski. not olympian champion. the parents are abusive, not providing them with all the lessons all the best equipment all the support? the coach are incompetent, not believing the person, not presuming competence, not believing they can be olympian champion? the equipment not the best in the world (even if best, not enough!!)!

#idk if i make sense i just started rambling #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #nonspeaking #nonverbal #aac device #aac user #high support needs #presume competence #loaf screm #long post

[obey-me-headquarters]

Aaah, I'm back! I had more ideas I'm sorry!

Lucifer is in need of pampering because of his pride from his shows as we discussed and I had some thoughts on the others! Idk what animals they would be but I did get what I imagine they'd act like! I'm so sorry if this is long, I was very excited.

Mammon used to have an owner who was very kind, but one day they just locked Mammon out of the house with no real reason other than they just didn't want him. He became a stray who would steal and lie to keep himself fed and he was always acting so macho "Well, duh. I'm THE Great Mammon!" But when you take him in he is desperate to have anything and everything because in his old home he lost everything overnight for no reason! Now he's desperate to keep you and everything else he loves close to him! His bad habits are: Separation anxiety, random crying fits, being territorial, acting "arrogant" but only because he is insecure. The solution is constant positive reinforcement and patience

I already talked about lil fish Leviathan but just in case I'll say it again. He was left in a tank with nothing much to do other than watch anime on his old master's TV. Because of his neglect he wasn't pretty enough so all they did was degrade him. You adopt him and he's just a sweet lil boi. His bad habits: Randomly soaking you in water, hiding your keys so you can't leave, one time he got carried away and pulled you into his tank and almost drowned you, he carries a lot of random guilt so he'll talk bad about himself and of you don't stop it he'll hurt himself. Usually by refusing to rehydrate. He gets jealous easy, especially over any colorful decorations you have around the house. On one occasion he saw you eating gold fish crackers and got deeply upset. Like Mammon he needs to be supported emotionally

Satan was also a show pet like Lucifer, but his owners saw how successful Lucifer was and trained him to be just like him. Satan hated every second of it, especially when he would have to compete against him and lose. His owners flipped out and beat him for losing and he ran away. His new owners didn't want him because he was so angry all the time! Bad habits: Talking back (with everything. I.E: "Hey can you pass me that thing to your left?" Only for him to say "Fuck you, get it yourself". He is a lot more prideful than Lucifer but he's more pampered and expecting of top treatment. If not given to him he gets angry because that means he isn't valued anymore. Bad habits include: Tearing furniture apart, yelling, punching holes in the drywall, refusing to eat. Solution: Try and talk it out with him. If it fails just explain that you are going to step out of the room until he calms down. When he is ready to talk he can come find you. He really wants to learn how to read and over time he'll mellow out. He is still trying to cope with the fact that he isn't Lucifer so he doesn't need to impress you or anyone else. (Not that they ever had to, it was just what they were told.)

Asmodeus was used for breeding new pets. After a while they got rid of him because they didn't want inbreeding to happen. When you find him he is very horny and clingy but it's only because that's what he is used to. He isn't used to the actual affection part of it all, and he'll grow upset if you don't do the deed with him. Not just because he needs it physically but also because you rejecting him than that means he is undesirable. He's devastated because he spent most of his life being told how perfect he is and how bad everybody wants him. He actually found someone he finds to be attractive and they dont want him?! Unacceptable! If you actually let him see and keep his kids I am pretty sure he would die for happiness because everytime he would think he found a mate they'd be taken from him as soon as they got pregnant or had his spawn. Actually getting a mate that is permanent?! He's overjoyed. Bad habits: Uncontrollably horny, cries a lot, needy, needs more praise and affirmation than Mammon and Leviathan. Solutions: Toys, let him go most places with you until it clicks that you're keeping him, take a lot of pictures of him and let him know it's because he's pretty and always will be, lots of kisses. His old mates didn't kiss him or hold him like you do :(

Beelzebub and Belphie could be lumped together so I think I will because this is long and I'm embarrassed. Beel was malnourished so now that he's in a household where he has food he doesn't want to stop eating because he's scared he will be starved again. Belphie just sleeps all the time because that's all he had to do. He was locked in a cage (attic) and all he had to do was sleep and hope when he wakes up he will be free. One day he wakes up in a nice bed with you gently asking him if he is okay. He's just..apathetic to it all. He's in denial that you're not trapping him and ignoring him, so much so that he continues to sleep because that way when you leave him he won't cry as you walk out on him and will have the chance to keep what little pride he has intact. The boys bad habits: Beel raiding the fridge, Beel gaining too much weight so you need to exercise with him and keep him healthy (it's great because you're both staying in shape!), Beel eating or biting the furniture, Beel pouting (this may not be a problem for some but my heart would MELT), Beel randomly getting very angry and insistent that you can't leave because it's not safe or him feeling like you're both in danger. Belphie's is just him being lazy or purposefully breaking things and acting out in hopes that you'll yell at him and punish him just because he wants to be proven right. Solutions: Keep Beelzebub fed and make it clear that there will always be food and comfort, snuggle piles with the two of them. (Lets Belphie sleep and know that you won't leave and Beel will be glad that he can protect you while comfortable.) You could also let them leave the house with you in case they get separation anxiety and I feel like any of the brothers would be thrilled to be seen with you. You also have to teach these two proper hygiene because like..who's she? They pick up on it quick but at first they were very dirty

What if all the different owners (or the same one) had them meet each other because they originally were taken in by the same owner? Lillith was a sweet lady who adopted them all but she got old and couldn't take care of them anymore so they were given away to people she thought would care for them. :(

Ohhh fuck this is so good!! Don't apologize!!! I eat your asks up they're SO good!! <3

I definitely think that apart of Mammon thinks that you are lying when you first tell him that you care about him, and that's he's the "Great Mammon". Because a small part of him believes that his last owners were lying to him. I mean, why else would tell him that they love him him only to throw him out?

Oof. Mammon probably hanged out his old home for an extremely long time. Not believing that they his owners really wanted him gone. They're just, they're cleaning the house and they want him outside for the time being. Or, they want some alone time is all. They still love and care about him! They just need some space. Even when they yell at him for being on their backyard, or chase him away with brooms he still comes back. Mammon is very good at lying to himself. It isn't until he spontaneously decides to run away, that he doesn't need his owners, does he leave their property.

Of course, after a while days he regrets his decision and tries to go back. But he can't remember the way back, and it's hard to keep searching when you're hungry. So that's how he ended up a stray for awhile.

It takes awhile, but eventually he finds his way back. In his time away he created this image in his mind that his owners really, really miss him. That once he comes back home all will be forgiven and he will be let back inside and will be cuddled and given things again! Only to arrive back and peak through the window to see that his owners replaced him with a new pet.

Another that Mammon leaves, for good this time. It's very hard for him to process what he did wrong, what happened. So again he kinda creates this narrative that he was a beloved house pet, who one day got outside and accidentally got lost. He blocks out his last memory of his owners replacing him, and still believes that one day he'll return to a loving home.

So when you find him, it actually takes a bit for him to warm up to you. Saying that he has a family, really! He just got lost and is looking for them. Oh, there's no need to put an ad up for him! He'll find his old home again, he's sure of it. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that his lying about his home, or that he made the whole thing up.

Once he does get attached to you I can definitely seeing him having pretty bad separation anxiety like you said! Boy probably never leaves the house when you adopt him, worried that he'll "get lost" again.

I really like this Mammon pet headcanon!! I always had my own little headcanon for him that I'll briefly share here:

I always pictured Mammon as being apart of a circus. He just gives off major performer vibes. Plus I think that's were he got his arrogance from, since he was always known as "The Great Mammon". And it also explains him being touch starved. Noone really looked after him in the circus, so he's not used to someone petting his hair or cuddling up to him. After the circus went under, maybe the boss was in some shady shit, Mammon either gets put into a shelter, or directly given given you, or maybe even just thrown onto the streets.

Again I really like your Levi headcanons, which I gushed about in my last post lol.

Satan is definitely interesting too!! Most people put him down as a fighting ring demon, so seeing him as a show demon like Lucifer is very interesting! I definitely think he's one of the more complicated demons to rehome. As he has this sense of pride and privilege about him. Most demons don't really expect the best, and so lap up any pride or treats. While Satan expects good treatment and gets destructive when he doesn't get it.

Asmo's headcanon is so sad 🥺 I like the way you change up the formula with each of the demons. A lot of them has been type casted as a spefic demon type, so seeing all these new headcanons is very interesting! I definitely like the idea of Asmo being used as a breeder, and kinda expects you to do the do with him immediately.

Uhhhh Asmo's whole section just makes me want to hold and kiss him. Asmo definitely thinks that you're going to abandon him if you don't sleep with him soon so he just gets more and more desperate until he finally breaks down and you have to explain to him, once again, that you care about him you just don't want to use him like that. Also, you being the only person Asmo wants to look pretty for?? Ahhhh my heart.

Asmo definitely went through a lot of mates that last either one night or a few weeks until they got knocked up. So having someone who loves him and wants to stick around? Literally unheard of for Asmo.

Also adopting his kids too! That's so cute!! I'm not really into tbe whole "raising children" stuff so while it's cute in theory, i don't think I would write much about it lol sorry.

Moving onto Beel and Belphie. Beel being malnourished is such a good concept! He definitely gets very food conscious. Maybe in his last home the owner had a lot of demons and not a lot of money, so they didn't have a lot of food to go around. Every time it was feeding time Beel would have to fight the other demons for food for him and Belphie, which is why he got so strong.

Even though Beel is in a safe environment with lots of food, he still has trouble getting his instincts to calm down and stop telling him that needs to eat everything right away or ease it'll disappear.

I can definitely see him gaining his worry that him, and everyone he cares about, is constantly in danger because of his old home. As the demons there were frequently angry and hungry, so they lashed out. Beel hasn't shaken the fear that some demon is going to attack him or you if he's not careful.

Him and Belphie also don't know proper hygiene because of their old home, since the owner didn't have a lot of money they couldn't afford to give any of their demons baths or showers, and so they would only really get wash if they went do to the river or if they went out in the rain.

Now about Belphie.... omg my poor little moo moo :( he doesn't want to be abandoned again so he's just closing himself off from you and the world. He's just waiting for the drop, for the "I told you so" when you get angry and punish him and kick him out. Tries not to care when you treat him gently or spoil him. Although I definitely think he favors things you personally gift him. Such as his cow pillow. Though he would never admit it. He also really enjoys cuddle piles.

!!! I love the idea of all the owners meeting!! I definitely always considered that option when thinking of the pet au. Because if all of the bros aren't owned by the same owner, wouldn't it be fun if the bros could still meet? But I always had a hard time writing stuff out for it because all the good owners are supposed to be "You" lol. I absolutely adore the Lillith idea, as I'm never quite sure what to do with her in pet aus lol. Maybe she died when the bros were all young and together??? But I was never sure.

Lilith owning all of then when they were young is so cute! It also explains why all the bros look up to her so much, as she was the first human who loved and took care of them <3. It would be sweet if Lilith was still alive when the bros meet back up, very old, but still alive, and able to see how each of her pups ended up with good owners after all <3

Anyways, that was an amazing read!! Thanks so much for sharing it! If you ever want to talk more about the pet au or other aus, just send me a ask or reblog! I love your ideas and I absolutely adore talking about the pet au!!

#obey me #obey me pet au #my post #ask

[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

#haikyuu #haikyu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #nekoma #nekoma x reader #nekoma imagines #nekoma scenarios #nekoma manager #nekoma headcanons #haikyuu manager #haikyuu!! manager #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! fluff #nekoma fluff #haikyuu male #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu!! male #haikyuu!! x male reader #nekoma male manager #nekoma male #haikyuu male manager #haikyuu!! male manager #haikyuu male reader #haikyuu!! male reader

[dropoutparty]

shurara corps ark fix-it concept babeyy!!

under a read more bc this shits long LOL

also this is kinda rambly but whatever

when it comes to shuraras motivations here, maybe he could have been another childhood friend of keroros. idk how they could have been introduced, maybe through pururu or just by meeting in school, but ig that part doesnt rlly matter. what DOES matter though is that shurara decided to tag along with keroro, giroro, zeroro, and pururu on one of their misadventures and he gets hurt during it. BADLY. pururu patches him up, and zeroro apologizes like crazy (since he knows how much this sucks), but shurara is left with a strong dislike of keroro and friends. except for pururu, who he still likes (but im not keeping the crush bc it serves no purpose here) and zeroro who he kinda forgives a little bit but just because he apologized so much. maybe this could have resulted in some major physical injury that affected how he lived for a while, or maybe it spawned a phobia, but either way it left an impact.

putata and mekeke are sent in first with the goal of beating up the platoon a little bit and taking the star because they are the most skilled team. shurara doesnt want the star because of some stupid bandaid, but he wants to take it in order to both deeply hurt keroros pride and also to potentially have his platoon no longer be officially recognized, taking away something that means a lot to keroro. they actually succeed in taking the keron star kinda. when they get back to base, they realize that the star is fake, its just a piece of fabric or paper with tape on it (like what happened in the original arcs ending). this way the shurara corps will be established as an actual threat and also the ending will have actual stakes.

gyororo sends word back to base that the keron star putata and mekeke got was fake, so giruru is sent in to ACTUALLY get the real star, as well as punish the platoon for embarrassing the corps like that. this one plays out kinda like the actual episode (bc im too lazy to think of anything else), but all that matters is that he still ends up captured.

after this, the platoon is like ok this might actually be serious so they go on high alert. one day dororo notices gyororo (who was sent in a little before putata and mekeke to scout the place out and gather info) bc hes the only competent member of the platoon and confronts him, outing his presence to everyone. gyororo fights back but he is also captured in the end.

after the platoon has captured giruru and gyororo , shurara plans to capture and torture a member of the platoon as revenge. before he can do this though, dokuku and nuii decide to rescue giruru and gyororo in secret. nuii serves as a distraction to everyone while dokuku goes to rescue the fellaz. theres some minor conflict but in the end the four of them escape. after that happens, shurara is furious about his subordinates disobeying him and doing things behind his back, but he keeps his goal the same.

im gonna change yukikis powers bc they kinda suck and hes confusing. anyways yukiki isnt actually a snowman, but hes the hat! kinda like in mario odyssey, you put the hat on anyone or anything, and it will immediately be controlled by yukiki. he was an experiment done to try to make a sentient object, and he got his name because he was first tested on a snowman (which also makes it the form hes most comfortable taking). anyways, shurara sends in yukiki to capture someone by taking control of them, but hes defeated somehow and returns empty-handed.

im also gonna change robobos powers a bit. with robobo i dont think that he should have the ability to turn people into electronics because thats dumb and doesnt make any sense, so im gonna give him the ability to just control other machines. he also doesnt have a giant form, and can switch his hands between their magnet form and their drill form. anyways, at this point shurara is furious and decides that he doesnt care about capture anymore, he wants the platoon dead. he decides to send robobo for the job because robots dont have the same margin of error that living things do, or at least theyre supposed to. turns out, they totally do bc robobo also comes back with a failure.

after this, shurara somehow lures the platoon to his base (just like in the anime) but this time everyone is waiting for them there in a big empty room together. shuraras disembodied voice gets a monologue like in the anime and the roof opens, lighting the room up because its a bright spring day. kagege then appears and takes control of the platoons shadows like in the anime! all of the shadows are used to fight the platoon, as well as the corps themselves fighting. its an epic fight, but just when it seems like the platoon is all gonna die, the corps suddenly decide to stop fighting. they all tell the platoon about how shurara has been acting worryingly erratic and obsessive, so they agree to spare the platoons life as long as they confront shurara. the platoon obviously agrees, and theyre taken to a holding area so that shurara thinks that theyve won. they give them this offer because theyre not personally invested in killing these nerds, they dont really care. they ARE worried about shurara though, seeing how obsessed with this hes become.

anyways kagege reports to shurara (in my headcanon hes like shuraras right hand man or something like that) and is like "we beat the platoon, but we didnt kill them. theyre our prisoners right now and were gonna torture them before we let you do the honors" and then shuraras like "poggers!!! thats a great idea!!" and then proceeds to drink his choccy milk and play minedcraft. meanwhile, some of the others are actually patching the platoon up and telling them what to do with shurara. they tell the platoon to try to hurt him as little as possible, and DEFINITELY dont fucking kill him, but just try to knock some sense into him and restrain him or something.

the platoon asks why shurara hates them so much and whoevers patching them up doesnt know, but kagege comes down soon after and tells them shuraras motivations. after this, some understanding can be felt by giroro and dororo (bc they were there, even tho dororo is the only one who remembers shirara like at all) and keroro feels kinda guilty but not too much bc head empty. later, the corps has a big celebration feast and shurara declares that hell painfully kill the platoon bright and early tomorrow. in all the commotion, nuii convinces gyororo to sneak down into the platoons holding cells to bring them some leftover food.

the next day, the platoon is brought to the same room that they fought the corps in, and theyre tied up. shurara is talkin abt how hes gonna kill them all super painfully and stuff but little does he know that the ropes holding the platoon are actually not secure at all (on purpose), so the platoon all escapes their bindings and a fight with shurara ensues. when the platoon is in a tight spot, one of the corps will show up real quick and help them out, kinda like a support in a fighting game. eventually, shurara is tied up and defeated technically.

shurara is whining and stuff and calling the corps a bunch of traitors, but the corps talk to him about how worried they all are about him and that this whole thing has gone too far (you rlly think these goobers are worth all this effort??). shurara says something about how keroro hurt him before, so he wants to hurt him and his platoon back. the corps are like ya i get that but killing them is wayy overkill no pun intended. keroro apologizes and maybe dororo can say something about how keroro also hurt him in the past but hes been able to move past that or whatever and shurara is like bro ur right and he starts crying like da babey he is lmao and there u have it!!! the arcs over and everyone is ok and happy!!! found family trope pog!!!!!!

#keroro gunso #sgt frog #shurara corps #i wont tag anyone lol #if anyone wants to like elaborate on or expand anything here go ham!! #also send it to me bc i wanna read that shit lksdfjlsd #im just sending this out into the ether but if u base somethign off of this idea id like to be credited #as if anyones gonna wanna do that psjdfksdjflk #anyways i hope this is good!! its way better than what we actually got imo but i might be biased

[everykindofnerd13]

Haikyuu Couples Head Canons

Kuroo is very considerate of Kenma’s anxiety when he gets his boyfriend to go to a bigger party. He keeps a pair of noose cancelling headphones in his backpack and he also brings a portable charger. He even makes sure to arrange somewhere open and empty he can bring Kenma with the host.

It’s usually someone like Bokuto, Tendou, Oikawa, or Kuroo himself throwing the party, which is why it’s so easy to arrange something like that.

Tendou used to be a lot harder to get to agree to an empty room until he got himself a Goshiki with mild anxiety that acts up when he’s surrounded by too many people, plus his big socially awkward boyfriend might need quiet every once and a while.

Hence, the “Silent Island” room was born and integrated into all Volleyball parties.

Every team has at least one person who NEEDS quiet and one to two people who WANT it

Once, Maki and Mattsun we’re unaware of the “Silent Island”’s purpose at a party and tried to disturb, for they are VERY chaotic, it wasn’t until Kuroo pushed open the door, one arm wrapped behind him to hold onto Kenma and presumably protect him from other people at the party that they were caught.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Kuroo snapped.

“Uh... partying?” Maki stayed as if it was obvious.

“Go party somewhere else!” Kuroo scolded, he couldn’t shout.

“Why? You tryna get some?” Mattsun gushed, noticing the pudding-cup hair behind Kuroo.

“If you two don’t get out of this room right now I will personally make sure that you run twenty extra laps at practice on Monday.” Iwaizumi appeared suddenly behind Kuroo and Kenma, one reassuring hand rested on Kenma’s shoulder.

“Ah! Yes Iwaizumi!” Maki and Mattsun called in unison as they rushed into the room. Kuroo shot them a glare before quickly ushering Kenma into the room and closing the door behind them.

“What was that about?” Maki asked, clearly annoyed at his loss of a party space.

“That was about you two disrupting the only quiet room there for anyone that needs it, someone like Kenma who looked to be having a bit of a sensory overload.” Iwaizumi growled. Maki and Mattsun’s eyes went wide.

“We didn’t know!” Mattsun called.

“We’re sorry Iwa! And we’ll apologize to Kenma and Kuroo when we see them next!” Maki exclaimed. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes in mock annoyance but patted his teammates on the back.

“Good, now go find someone else to party with,” the two nodded eagerly and were off to find Noya.

Hinata and Kageyama are both the easiest couple to spend time around and the worst couple to spend time around.

Their constant bickering hasn’t changed, but they’re both super clingy and usually when they’re somewhere they feel comfortable, Hinata will be sitting in Kageyama’s lap, nothing dirty or anything, just pure domesticity that makes everyone else feel like they need to go home and bake their boyfriends pie.

Suga and Daichi are actually the most domestic though, it’s honestly disgusting how often they’ll just be smiling at eachother while the group is eating. Tanaka has thrown stuff at them, multiple times.

KUROO CALLS KENMA PUDDING CUP!!! I DONT KNOW WHY IVE NEVER SEEN THIS! LIKE REALLY!!!

Couples like Suga and Daichi, Akaashi and Bokuto, and Nishinoya and Asahi make Kageyama, Iwaizumi, Kenma, and Yaku feel a little insecure about how they treat their boyfriends. Not like they’re abusive, they’re just not always super sweet, they make fun of, prod, and “bully” their boyfriends a lot so sometimes they get scared.

The first time Kenma brought it up with Kuroo, the captain was completely soft for his boyfriend.

“Kuroo...” Kenma muttered, “You know I love you right?” Kuroo looked up from his phone at his boyfriend next to him. They were curled up on the couch, Kenma playing Animal Crossing and Kuroo scrolling through social media. He was concerned, he thought that there may be something bad about to come.

“Of course I do Kitten,” he moved the arm sitting on the couch behind Kenma’s head to wrap around his shoulders, pulling the smaller boy into his chest.

“So you know that I would do anything for you and that I really enjoy spending time with you, and I want to spend as much of my time as possible at your side?” Kuroo started getting worried.

“I know Pudding Cup, I know,” He set down his phone and pulled the switch out of Kenma’s hands, pulling the boy who had still yet to make eye contact with him fully on top of him and laying down on the couch, “Can I ask why?” Kenma took a deep breath and looked up at his boyfriend with obvious tears in his eyes.

“I know that you’re all about all that lovey-dovey stuff, Public Affection and Visible Relationships...” Kenma explained, finally looking Kuroo fully in the eye. Kuroo brought up one of his hands to rest on Kenma’s cheek while the other rubbed his back.

“And I know that I’m not very good at that, and that I tend to poke fun at you, and I just...” Kenma took another deep breath, “I don’t want you to think that I don’t love you, cause I do...” He explained and Kuroo’s face softened immediately.

“Honey, Baby, Kitten, Pudding Cup,” he listed off a bunch of his nicknames for Kenma rubbing his boyfriend’s cheekbone, “I know how you show affection, I’ve known for a long time now, and I don’t mind that you aren’t big on PDA, I know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, I know that you don’t mean it when you make fun of me,” Kuroo swipes at the tears threatening to fall from his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Good... I just... I needed you to know...” Kenma wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s middle and buried his face in his chest. Kuroo moves the hand on Kenma’s face up to his hair and started running his fingers through it.

“Pudding Cup,” Kuroo called softly, “What had you thinking like that?” Kenma whined into Kuroo’s chest but he wasn’t taking that for an answer.

“Kenma, why did you think I would feel bad about how you treat me around our friends?” Kenma grumbled but sat up, tracing shapes into the front of Kuroo’s hoodie.

“It’s just... Bokuto and Akaashi are really affectionate, I just... I thought that maybe you wouldn’t be happy with how I treat you around them...” Kuroo sighed, scratching at Kenma’s scalp.

“Kenma, honey, that Bokuto and Akaashi’s relationship, even though those two are super affectionate, I’m not gonna suddenly be unhappy with the boy I’ve been crushing on since I was 10.” Kenma’s face lit up in a blush at Kuroo’s words but he nodded. Kuroo smiled and tilted Kenma’s face I kiss him softly on the lips.

Kageyama started being uncharacteristically affectionate, and while Hinata appreciates it, he also misses their bickering.

“Tobio!” Hinata called after his boyfriend as the other walked ahead of him, their hands entwined between them.

“Yes Shoyo?” He asked softly turning to look ag his boyfriend.

“Why are you acting different?” He asked softly, pulling himself close to Kageyama.

“What do you mean?” Hinata scrunched up his face, did Kageyama really not notice?

“You’re acting... different,” Hinata said, still searching for the words. The boys finally reached Kageyama’s house and the taller one let go of Hinata’s hand in favor of pulling out his keys.

“How so?” He asked, he was even talking differently. Hinata held in a growl as he pushed his boyfriend into his house, slamming the door behind them and grabbing Kageyama by the collar before shoving him up against the door.

“Why are you acting different?” He asked, more sternly this time. Kageyama grunted when he hit the door, immediately grabbing for purchase on Hinata’s waist. He tightened his grip immediately, sending a shiver down Hinata’s spine. It was kinda hot knowing that Kageyama was capabale of throwing him across a room if so desired. And even hotter knowing that he never would.

“What do you mean?” Kageyama retaliated and Hinata groaned, shoving away from his boyfriend, trying to get away, just so he could scream, or run, or do anything, he just wanted his bestfriend back.

“You’re not like you were before!” He shouted, beating on Kageyama’s chest because he couldn’t get away. Tears began to sting at his eyes, “You don’t ever compete with me, or argue with me, or treat me like you used too! I liked it when you would kiss me and it would be one of the best feelings in the world because you never did that! And now you just kiss me everytime we do anything and I don’t hate it I just don’t know why!” Hinata was crying now, breathing heavily into Kageyama’s chest.

He’d given up trying to get away. Kageyama’s hands shifted, instead wrapping around Hinata’s waist and pulling him close when he cried, and it finally felt familiar, like Hinata wasn’t dating someone he’d never met. He pulled his hands tight to his chest to allow Tobio to do all the work.

“Sho...” Kageyama muttered, and Hinata sighed. He loved when Kageyama called him Sho, it sounded so loving and infatuated, because he only called Hinata Sho when they were alone, and he had still kept the name for then in the past week or so of strangeness.

“Tobi...” he retaliated, using the equal opposite to what Kageyama has just said against him.

“Sho I’m sorry...” Kageyama muttered into Hinata’s hair. It was just above and whisper and his arms wrapped around Hinata shoulders instead, crushing him in a strong hug, and pulling Shōyō out of his own head. There was something wrong with Kageyama, and he was the one crying. How pathetic.

“Tobi, why won’t you treat me like I’m your friend anymore?” Hinata asked after pulling away a little. Kageyama’s arms slipped to Hinata’s waist again and he cast a glare at the ground, one that Hinata knew all too well.

“Tobio. Talk to me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” Hinata said simply, reaching up one hand to place it on Kageyama’s cheek.

“I love you Shoyo...” Kageyama muttered quietly and Hinata’s face lit up.

“I love you too ‘Yama...” Hinata answered, “Arr you gonna tell me why you’ve been acting so different?” Kageyama took a deep breath and for the first time that day looked Hinata in the eyes.

His midnight blue eyes always seemed to put Hinata’s chestnut to shame. They were almost black around the iris and around the pupil but they were more indigo in the center, and if you looked close enough there were flecks of a normal light light sky blue, which really made them look like a starry sky.

“Sho... I’m sorry...” Kageyama muttered, he wouldn’t speak up and he sounded terrified and it was breaking Hinata’s heart. He pulled away and grabbed one of Kageyama’s hands away from his waist, leaving one and keeping one hand on Kageyama’s cheek.

“What are you sorry for Yama?” He asks while slowly leading Kageyama to the couch.

“It’s just... you’re always talking about how Nishinoya and Asahi have the cutest relationship, and I thought that maybe you weren’t happy with me... I wanted to love you better...” Hinata’s features all softened at Kageyama’s words. He sat his boyfriend down on the couch and climbed into his lap, wrapping his arms around Kageyama’s neck. He leaned up to press a gentle kiss to Kageyama’s lips.

“Tobi, I love you. I love you just the way you are, and you loved me just fine in the first place. If you really want to be that affectionate that’s fine but... I liked our bickering and I like that even though we’re dating I still get to be your bestfriend.” Hinata explained, hands on Kageyama’s cheeks. The setter let a soft smile spread across his face.

“Okay...” he muttered, and pulled Hinata in for a hug.

Iwa was a lot less obscure about it. He just, walked up to Oikawa one day during practice to verify, and other things...

“Tooru .” He stated numbly as he approached his setter from behind after practice ended.

“Yes Iwa-Chan?” Oikawa turned around to face his boyfriend.

“I love you,” Iwaizumi stayed simply before pulling Oikawa in and kissing him firmly on the lips.

“Oh! I know that Hajime!” He exclaimed and giggled, holding Iwaizumi’s free hand in his.

“Thought I’d remind you.” Iwaizumi muttered, embarrassed that Oikawa called him by his given name.

“Course Hajime, I love you too,” Oikawa pressed a gentle kiss to his lips then pulled away. Iwaizumi pulled his hand away from Oikawa’s neck and rubbed at the back of his in embarrassment. Oikawa stood up and intertwined their fingers as they began to leave school, leaning on his boyfriend slightly.

“So, what’s going on Iwa-Chan?” Iwaizumi tripped slightly at the question.

“What do you mean?” He asked after a moment.

“Why did you feel the need to remind me you love me?” Iwaizumi sighed at Oikawa’s question.

“You were being all swoony about how affectionate the Karasuno captain and his boyfriend are last night... I thought you might feel like I don’t love you.” Oikawa was so excited to gush about how cute his boyfriend is.

“Awww! Iwa-Chan! I love you! I know that you love me! Even when you call me names!” He wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi and hugged him tight to his side. Iwaizumi sighed but smiled fondly at his boyfriend.

Out of all the captains, it’s actually Daichi who uses the most nicknames for his boyfriend.

These include; Honey, Pumpkin, Love, Dear, Darling, Precious, Babe, Baby, Sweetie, Sweetheart, Sugar, Beautiful, Gorgeous, Lover-Of-Mine, Love Bug, Dreamy, Handsome, Loverboy, HoneyBun, Angel, Hon’, Butterfly, and Mama Crow, cause he thinks he’s funny.

Some of the more personal ones are Silver, Boba Tea, and Bubbles, each have a story.

“Silver” comes from Suga’s hair obviously but it also is a reference to the silver promise ring on Suga’a finger.

“Boba Tea” is because that’s what Suga would bring to school every morning their first year, so it was a nickname back then before they were super close.

“Bubbles” is a reference to their first date. They had a picnic in the park and Suga brought a couple bubble wands that they played with. It was cute.

Unsurprisingly these names are mostly saved for the privacy of their homes, but Mama Crow, Sugar, Love Bug, and Honey Bun are his favorite ones to use around their friends. Though he actually uses the more normal ones like Babe, Baby, Love, Dear, Darling, Honey, Beautiful, Gorgeous, and Handsome more on auto pilot.

Suga is definitely the more proud boyfriend, not like Daichi isn’t proud and wouldn’t just parade his boyfriend around, but he’s easily embarrassed.

Once when Daichi scored a winning point against Fukurodani, Suga actually shouted at the top of his lungs, “That’s my man!!!” Which made Daichi blush profusely and made the loss a little more bearable for Bokuto.

Unsurprisingly, Suga is the mom of the group and keeps snacks in her bag for her hungry munchkins, so he also often finds himself pulling out granola bars for Kenma and Ushiwaka who forget to eat a lot.

Daichi goes out of his way to open all doors for Suga, to be a “gentleman”.

Suga finds it incredibly endearing, but he also likes to beat him out the door and watch Daichi pout.

Akaashi keeps snacks in his bag too, but he won’t share them, they’re specifically for Bokuto, as they’re all his favorite snacks.

Yaku does not keep snacks, but he has a surplus of Gatorade flavors in a duffle bag that he carries everywhere.

The number one think Suga and Akaashi bond over is how attractive thighs and arms are.

“Daichi’s biceps are like the size of my head.”

“Bokuto could crush me between his thighs.”

“Oh my god! Daichi also has AMAZING thighs!”

“Bokuto has amazing arms!”

Daichi is very shy about it while Hokuto stands proudly to accept the love from his boyfriend. Hinata also have very detailed conversations about their own boyfriend’s arms.

And Oikawa also loves Iwaizumi’s arms. And his thighs. Kenma could talk for hours with him about how attractive their boyfriends are and he doesn’t even really like Oikawa.

Aka, Everyone in Haikyuu love arms and thighs and that works out well as Athletes.

Yachi once insisted while taking pictures that she got one of everyone carrying a significant other bridal style.

Everyone and no one at the same time were extremely surprised when Akaashi picked up Bokuto. Of course they got one of Bokuto carrying Akaashi as well but nonetheless.

Yachi was also very excited to line them all up like ducklings, shorter boyfriends in front and taller in back, Yaku was not impressed when she had the taller rest their arms on their smaller boyfriend’s heads.

Yachi is a PHOTOGRAPHER.

After graduation, Bokuto and Kuroo moved in together. It became the hangout place for every group.

Kenma and Akaashi practically live there.

Suga can cook really well but he can’t bake to save his life. Daichi however can make any sweet you throw at him, but don’t even think of expecting him to be able to make spagetti.

Hinata is truly a koala. He’ll latch onto Kageyama’s front or back any chance he gets, it’s kinda annoying when he falls asleep though, Kageyama gets more jumpy because he’s so focused on keeping him from falling, therefore he tends to be very out of it during conversations.

When he gets tired at parties, not anxious, but tired, Kenma will pull Kuroo down onto a couch and curl up in his lap with his head on his shoulder, put on the noise cancelling headphones and go to sleep. It’s literally the cutest thing, and Lev learned not to point it out by now.

You know how everyone always tries to adopt Hinata out of Karasuno? Suga regularly brings Goshiki to Karasuno and they enjoy food and Goshiki and Hinata bond over their Ace-pirations. (Ha, like As-pirations?... Anyway...)

Semi is always a little salty when Goshiki gets back, he is the team mom, he likes his kid, that is his kid, and Sugawara-San and his tiny tangerine should leave him alone. But when Goshiki gets back he’s always so happy and excited to talk to Tendou, Semi, Ushiwaka, and Shirabu if he’ll listen, about Karasuno’s first year.

Goshiki and Hinata would be BEST FRICKIN FRIENDS. FIGHT ME.

Kenma loves to play Mystic Messenger, much to Kuroo’s dismay, and he got Hinata really into it once when Hinata visited, so Kageyama also has a particular resentment toward the game.

Oikawa pretends to hate Kageyama, but he is constantly referring to Kageyama, Kindaichi, and Kunimi as he and Iwaizumi’s “children”.

Suga wants to strangle him. That’s his baby crow, back off.

He acts like this when Kuroo tried to steal Tsukki, when Bokuto tries to steal Hinata, and when Terushima even glances at Yamaguchi. The guy gives him bad vibes.

Takeda actually managed to make Ukai stop smoking, which made Suga super proud. He was like a proud child, like his own father had finally stopped smoking.

Kenma instinctively hides behind Kuroo in situations where he doesn’t feel comfortable. This also applies to Hinata, Suga, and Yachi.

Hinata is actually a very sleepy person outside of volleyball and will fall asleep literally anywhere, not only on Kageyama’s back but also at restaurants, on trains, and while hanging out with their friends, he usually doesn’t last very long as parties, unless he’s constantly in conversation, otherwise he can’t recharge.

Lev subconsciously steps in front of Yaku sometimes when he gets angry, not because he’s protecting his Senpai, but because he doesn’t Yaku to see him with what his mother used to call, an “ugly” expression. She would ways tell Lev and Alisa that looking anything less than happy was ugly, so he stands ahead of people so they can’t see him.

#kagehina #kuroken #daisuga #asanoya #kiyoyachi #bokuaka #levyaku #haikyuu!! #headcanons #tsukiyama

[hi-i-am-artemis]

Wow. Hi.

It has been a long while. I dont know why I am here.

My birthday is coming up. I don’t feel like having a birthday. As in literally having a birthday. I just want to skip the day that’s all. But, that’s impossible.

I don’t exactly know what lead me here. All I know is that I am sad. I don’t feel like I’m leading somewhere. I’m just literally living and not amounting to anything these days. But, I wanna talk about my decision on “growing up”. Yup, I’m turning 22 and I have just decided to grow up. LOL.

So, I wanna start at cutting toxic people out of my life. This includes friends that don’t affect me in a good way anymore. Friends that don’t inspire me or those who don’t make me feel good about myself anymore. I’m done competing. I’m now ready to build a “ME” that I feel good at. I am so done dealing with fake smiles and fake encouragements—I’m done with bullshits. At some point in life, we have to realize that it’s totally okay to embrace who you are, how you feel, and stop wanting to be somebody else or copy somebody else’s personality. I just feel like I am way past that BS. I am now ready to embrace me as me. Accept situations as is and REALLY describe my situations as it really fucking is to anyone. Ever since, I never really liked sugarcoating everything. This time, I am done having conversations just to impress or rub fame and wealth in my face. I am now into pressing conversations about reality and my place (mental and career) as it is and go about helping each other out of this post-graduation phase. Dealing with fake people telling you fake successes just to rub their career and finances as ahead of yours isn’t gonna help us. Us—who, in reality, are mostly lost (and blind) post grad babies. I have decided to surround myself with legit support systems. Those who’s just making their way through as I do. Collaborating on REAL ideas of ways how to get through. Helping each other up, and not making the other feel shit.

I am going to do things silently and talk about it only when I have secured it. May it be a job, a plan, our relationship or whatever. I dont want anyone spoiling it against me anymore.

I won’t have any expectations anymore and just go with the flow, as I give my best in any opportunity. I will stay realistic, and I will set a true standard for myself.

Idk. I guess this is where this ends. I just want to stabilize myself mentally, so 22-year-old Diana you got alot of growing up to do.

[magioftheseas]

Day 1 - Reserve

Written for @the-hinata-project 

Prompt: Reserve Course Student Hinata

Rating: G

Warnings: Lowkey manipulation and insecurity, but other than that, not much.

Notes: Alright, so I’m still in the middle of these, but like... Here’s the first one! They’re all going to be pretty short, around 2K but I’m gonna do my best to finish all of them so wish me luck...! And this first fic is gen. No ships. Next ones won’t be so gen. It’s also pre-HPA. Kind of.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The last wish he made on New Year’s was a simple one.

I want to get into Hope’s Peak.

But of course that  would never happen.

“Can’t you dream more realistically, Hajime? Do you have any idea how expensive Hope’s Peak actually is? We can’t afford that.”

“I... I know that, but...”

“If you know then why are you burdening us with this? Please. Just think about other people besides yourself for once.”

“...sorry.”

His mother sighs, but ruffles his hair in a show of affection.

“You current high school isn’t so bad, right? You can make good friends here, and it’s a fine school.”

“I guess it’s...decent,” he mumbles.

“Just don’t even worry about Hope’s Peak anymore,” she tells him. “It’s impossible, and it can’t be helped. Keep your chin up. Okay?”

“...fine...”

Because he knew, after all, that she had a point. They couldn’t afford it. And he wasn’t talented. It was a pipe dream to attend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Still...

--

For his birthday, he was given a new laptop to replace the old. It was a fairly recent model. Pretty expensive. Likely compensation. He can’t say he didn’t like it.

He wasn’t ungrateful. He doesn’t think so.

It’s just that I admire Hope’s Peak more than anything.

So much so that he finds himself on the forums first thing.

>Does anyone have any idea who’s going to be in the upcoming batch?

>They haven’t finished scouting, right? Oh, but I just saw on the news that an actual princess was accepted! Hope’s Peak really can get in anyone!

>Wow, actual royalty?!

>There’s this photographer I follow. She’s getting in, too, I’m pretty sure.

>I just saw Saionji Hiyoko-san’s performance last week. I’m positive she’s getting in.

>I’m more interested in the princess. Can you imagine how lucky it would be to meet an actual princess?

>>They’ll be running the lottery in a month or so. What I would give to have more of a chance...

>Wow, they’re doing that again?

>With how much getting into the reserve course costs, you probably have a better chance with the lottery...

>But if you win the lottery, you’re actually considered talented. Reserves are just...y’know, reserves.

>But you’ll get to meet the princess, potentially. I think the money’s worth it, even if all I can do is steal a glance!

>Still... Seems so lame that you can just pay your way in...

>But brand name recognition is pretty powerful...

>>I heard you can actually get into the main course from the reserve course if you do well enough.

>No way! That’s a pipe dream! Maybe if you paid like, twice as much!

>Must be nice to be rich, huh...

Hinata stares, wondering what to type, but also letting the thoughts swirl around in his head.

>>I would do anything to get into Hope’s Peak. But my family just can’t afford that.

>Yeah, mine neither. Who actually can?

>You’d be surprised... They’re getting a lot of enrollments.

>You can’t like...get a scholarship or anything? It’s not like you need to go to college after attending Hope’s Peak.

>Well the golden gates can’t open that wide, I suppose...

>It’s for the best. If just about anyone could get in, it wouldn’t be that special.

Hinata bites his lip, picking at the peeling skin with his teeth.

>>Still. I want to get in more than anything.

>If you aren’t talented, it can’t be helped.

>>I would give anything.

>Pffft. No kidding. I’d give an arm and a leg, probably.

>>I would give anything.

>A lot of people would.

>You’re like a super fan, huh. Well, I am, too, but still...

>>Getting into Hope’s Peak has always been my dream.

>Everyone wants to be special, man.

>But if everyone was special then no one would be special.

>It can’t be helped. You’re either born talented or you aren’t.

>Right?! I must have spent hours drawing but there was always that one person I could just never compare to. It’s hopeless!

>You shouldn’t say hopeless on the Hope’s Peak forums!

>Haha, sorry!

>>I’ve never been talented. There’s not one thing I’m particularly good at.

>Normie...

>>But I want to get into Hope’s Peak Academy... More than anything.

>Give it up. For your own good. Wishing for the impossible isn’t healthy.

>Hey, don’t tell him that! What if he ends up winning the lottery?

>Yeah, right!

>>I’m not particularly lucky, either.

>Luck’s not a talent anyway.

>Are you sure? I’ve known people who get ridiculously lucky while gambling...

>If they gamble too much, that luck’s bound to run out. And I bet they’re not that lucky, they just brag a lot.

>That might be true... Still it would be nice just to get into Hope’s Peak by chance...

>Whoever wins that lottery probably is ridiculously lucky considering how many people are participating. We’re talking like, every high school student in their first year in the country.

>Sucks to be other countries, huh.

>Maybe someday but for now, I like not having that much competition.

>Still a ridiculous amount competing...

>I bet it’ll be someone who can afford the reserve course if they haven’t already enrolled.

>No fair! That kind of thing should disqualify you immediately!

>>I just...want to get in...

>Yeah we all do. But it’s impossible.

>Impossible.

>Totally impossible.

>Pigs will fly first.

>I heard some Ultimates actually can make some crazy shit. We might see flying pigs pretty soon.

>That’s terrifying.

>>I just want to get in.

>You should get offline.

He should. He really, really should.

Is it really impossible?

“Of course it is,” he can practically hear them murmur. “Not only are you untalented, you can’t afford it! And you’re going to win the lottery, either!”

Hinata buries his face into his hands, shuddering.

I just... I just...

--

To his surprise, he later receives a DM. Shivering, he clicks it open.

>Would you really do anything for Hope’s Peak?

He doesn’t recognize the name of the sender but...it looks official.

>>Yes. Of course. Why?

>There actually is a program you can sign up for that will get you in without having to pay a coin.

Hinata blinked once. Twice.

It’s way too good to be true.

But he’s desperate. Beyond desperate.

>>What is this program? How can I sign up?

>Here’s the information.

--

What he’s about to do is how people get themselves abducted, he’s pretty sure. But right now, he’s desperate and... If it really was someone associated with Hope’s Peak, how bad can it be? What’s the worse than can happen?

I already have no chance getting in. I know that... But...

His heart was pounding as he took the train. He stared out the window, at HPA’s towering buildings in the distance, getting closer and closer, and he sucks in his breath.

It’s so shining that it hurts to look at.

Shining like a dream...

--

“Ah, Hinata-kun, you made it after all. So you have the necessary information?”

“Uh... Yes...” Truth be told, he didn’t understand most of it. There were a lot of words that were hard to read and pretty...advanced. “I just...well you said you couldn’t explain everything in just files, so...”

The other looked pretty professional. Sharply dressed and smiling in a way that at least seemed pretty welcoming. But...still pretty intimidating, considering the circumstances. Hinata ducked his head, feeling rather flustered.

“Yes, it’s meant to be kept very tightly under wraps, you see,” they laugh. “I need to assure confidentiality before explaining, Hinata-kun. Surely you understand.”

That’s...weird.

But it made his blood thrum with excitement to be a part of.

“I... Y-Yes, of course. Absolutely... Of course...”

“Sign this form, then, promising that.”

“O-Of course...!”

He scribbles down his signature without a second thought. The other smiled more, pleased. Hinata squirmed in his seat, and tried to keep his posture straight.

With that, the other sat across from him, polite and yet...expectant.

Ah... Hah...

“So you’re willing to do anything for this school,” they say, voice almost light but also dense with significance. “Might I ask why?”

“It’s...as I said on the forums,” Hinata mumbles, fiddling with his tie. Even dressed professionally for this would-be interview, he feels underdressed. “I’ve always admired this school. Always. It’s always been my dream to...to go there...”

The other nods, expression unchanged.

“And why do you wish so badly to go there, despite not having a talent that can be cultivated?”

Hinata flinched.

“T-That’s...! I...” He hesitates, but he soon finds the words just spilling out. “I just want to be someone I can be proud of. Someone who can stand tall. Be confident. Be significant. Isn’t that what I deserve?”

“Isn’t that what everyone deserves?”

Hinata’s nails dig into his palms.

“I admire Hope’s Peak...more than anyone. I will give whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.” His teeth grit. “Whatever it takes... W-Whatever it takes...!”

Even though I know it’s selfish and impossible, I just...!

He just wanted to be someone. Someone other than...this.

Unimportant. Unremarkable. A faceless, meaningless part of the mass. The idea of being consumed by mediocrity and insignificance for the rest of his life, never to matter, never to even be remembered, just to disappear, just like he never even existed—

“I’ll do...w-whatever...it takes...” He’s shaking, eyes wide and crazed. “Whatever it takes... Whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.”

“Ah. I see.” An easy smile. And yet, the atmosphere felt so heavy that it was near suffocating. “Very well then, Hinata-kun. That’s exactly the kind of attitude we’re looking for.”

Hinata lit up.

“R-Really?” He dares to let hope slip into his tone. “D-Do you really mean it?”

A nod.

“Hinata-kun... If you could be reborn from the faceless body of a miserable nobody into the world’s hope... Would you?”

“That...sounds too good to be true...” His heart really was racing, but he was flushed with excitement. “But... Y-Yeah... I... Of course...”

“Then, allow me to tell you about how that can be possible. If you agree, you’ll be accepted into the school, free of charge, no talent necessary. In fact, it’s even essential that you be talentless.”

I...don’t understand.

He doesn’t understand but it just sounds so incredible that he can’t help but be swayed.

“...tell me.”

“Very well.”

A folder of files is placed before him. They look too important to grasp. And the stamped out letters of CONFIDENTIAL stare back into his wide-eyed, shimmering gaze.

Fingers trembling, Hinata actually slices his finger open as he flips it open.

He doesn’t even feel the sting, as engrossed as he is in the text.

“I...”

The words swirl around in his head, over and over until he drowns in them.

“Do you need time to think about it?” the other asks him kindly. So kindly that Hinata is struck cold. “Tell you what... You can still get into the reserve course. You don’t have to say yes right away, and the deadline will be in a few months from now. You can attend classes here until then...and then make your decision on whether or not you’re willing to stay. Okay?”

“I... O-Okay.” Hinata swallows. “That’s... I’m okay with that.”

I said I’d do anything. And I do...want to do anything. But...

His hands are shaking while still gripping the files.

I can’t...let this chance slip by...even if it’s something like this. This is everything I ever wanted. Why am I even hesitating?

“It’s alright,” the other says reassuringly, taking the files away with ease. “Hinata-kun, I know you’ll make the best decision for yourself.”

For...myself. Myself...

“I...yes.”

“I’ll have them send in your acceptance letter and uniform.” His hand is shook, the grip warm and calloused. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Hinata-kun.”

“A-A pleasure... Yeah.”

Just like that, Hinata was stumbling out of Hope’s Peak, trembling and falling to pieces with every shaky step.

I have to do it, he can’t help but think. I have to do it, for...for myself...

This was going to be the year his life changed irreparably. He was sure of it.

#thehinataproject #hajime hinata #hinata hajime #Magi fics #the hinata project #although it's not going to show up #I might as well #I'll probably have to message someone anyway #The tragedy of being muted

[busyorc-blog]

Truth about Gamers mindset on Women's Issues.

So as you all know this has been a contentious issue for some time. Even now people keep posting "controversy" click bait articles on why video games are sexist and misleading articles.

Why are Gamers so hostile to female gamers or gamer girls?

Well its quite simple and its the typical gamer is extremely competitive.

Competition fuels our desires of being legitimized by our fellow men and women.

"But busyorc there are specific things male gamers say hurtful sexist things to women." This is true, but it is not used for the sake of demeaning women for their sex and gender, its a tool to make the female player make a mistake. Is it ok to do? No, but the real reason behind the verbal attacks is because of toxic competition.

So ladies, if a gamer tells you to go the kitchen and make you a sandwich reply with "I must be doing pretty well if you need me to put down my controler." Gamers ARE OVER COMPETITIVE!

Now many of you might say this just enables more bad behavior but to put it bluntly it could be and it is worse already and I jave yet seen a real solution for stopping it. If anything, this sense of competitive overtones comes with the territory.

Now the argument of misogyny is true but only a small minority that actually hate women. These are the bad apples mixed with a whole lot of good and inbetween personal moral codes.

However those who complain about misogyny in games use half truths and bais focus groups to make their point and some are simply over reacting. SOME are. There are legit concerns in gaming that need to be addressed, but they are not as wide spread as some has sought to believe.

Personally I think women feel left out and I can understand this because they didnt really get an invite in the first place. This is due to the fact gamers focusing so much on games and their own past bitterness of being social rejects for enjoying this hobby in the first place.

Take that bitterness and then put that angst into the game you are playing. The game makes gamers feel accomplished when won in contrast where they failed in real life. This is common for many gamers out there and to their reasoning is the argument of the resentment towards women in general but this is only a handful of gamers as I just mentioned earlier they are not the majority.

The real answer is that there is no real hatred for women in general, but there is real hatred towards those women who choose to use gaming for gaining popularity.

The dreaded Gamer Girl!

This was an attempt to weakly associate with video games for popularity and profit which was quickly rejected by the gaming masses. There was swift and heavy backlash that started this whole problem in the first place.

In actuality if you are a girl and you play games, you are already a gamer. There were many girls who played games before this whole issue began. Having pride in being a gamer and a girl is great but when its used to get attention in the first place the argument falls flat. This was figured out by many intelligent young women but got lost by association in the battle of the genders.

When you use your gender to state who you are in this gaming society, it proves you are more interested in recieving a positive label than playing the game and earning one through practice and skill. This is how some gamers view this as one of the key reasons of their resentment. Double standards are all over the place and both specific sides are accusing eachother for its unfair practices. But lets focus on this issue right here.

Now how does this connect to my main point, well its obvious to me and you, that certain gamer girls expected perks to being a girl among boys but got the opposite. That said its a smack in the face to their competitive nature and in a gaming world where your skill and knowledge and hard work isn't affected by what gender you have or what social structure you lived in.

If you have hands then you are already on equal footing as any gamer.

Some women within the feminist 3rd wave movement will contest it does matter as to which I strongly disagree.

When the fact what content you are playing with in the end its all 1s and 0s. However these women are right that it plays to tropes that we are accustomed to, but to that I say "so what." Tropes are entertaining and because one group doesnt find it entertaining anymore doesnt mean that its a legitimate reason to stop. You can say its harmful to society but lets face facts, its entertainment, designed to take our minds off of society and relax. To blame entertainment for its influence is rediculous and shows a lack of self control and a major loose grasp of reality and poor parenting. Parent's job is to teach a child whats important and what isnt, and the content to which entertainment intention is to entertain not warp our actual sense of reality.

But I have gone off point. It comes down to toxic competition; gamers are being scrutinized for their own backlash from pretenders and are already very tense from competing and are bound to explode over defensively.

Toxic Competition isnt just in video games but everywhere in sports and events that are centered around one group fighting for supremacy over the other.

Its gotten so bad it bled into our politics and caused riots.

To me it was obvious that the problem was toxic competition but the loud minority wants to put the blame on a deeper issue to which I have said isnt the actual problem.

The problem is Toxic Competition. Competitors are even taught to goad their opponent to mess up. Sexist and racist comments are simply a tool rather than a motivator. This doesnt excuse bad behavior but its the cause of it. You can look at a guy and say that if he loses to a girl he is then emasculated, when infact it all comes down to being defeated. T

My point is we often look for more controversial issues for bad behavior, when its simply being too competitive.

It would be nice for Gamers to calm down and be civil, and it would be nice that female developers to make what they want without critism, but the solutions people are coming up with adress complex issues to which doesnt focus on the real problem which is competitive behavior. We live in reality to where the internet exists, and when you put yourself out there you will be seen and judged harshly. So you cant expect constructive critism when it could from anyone and anywhere.

We need to look at the real issue here, not misogyny, not sexism, but toxic competition.

The solution we have isnt a perfect one but I think can still work if you have strength in yourself. Thay solution is sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Learn to ignore obvious negative remarks and insults, and ALWAYS be a good sport. Dont gloat when you win and dont explode when you lose.

Its really hard to do but like excersize it doesnt work unless you keep doing it.

You green buddy

BUSYORC

#orcs #gamergate #gamergirl #gamerlife #gamersunite #gamerguy #gamer #women #esports

[xvampiricx]

do all 36 for the oc meme. thanks boyfriend

a Month Late Kids

Section 1 - About:

Briefly Describe your OC: Appearance, personality, role in a story, etc..

nikolai is a ambitious but cynical vampire. he has waist length wavy brown hair, emerald green eyes, and the body type of a bear/twink hybrid. hes what he calls “tired”, which means he’s at the point where he just. hates everything and while wanting to be left alone wants attention from all.

vincent is an insecure but hopeful werewolf-vampire. he has poorly dyed green hair, brown eyes, and a muscular but not ripped body type. hes shy but he makes friends easily. a nervous wreck.

Briefly describe their backstory/childhood:

nikolai was born in st petersburg, russia on june 1st, 1753. he had a normal childhood at least for a kid in that time, though he was shy and had few friends. he was bitten at age 25, leaving his family and living in nantes, france for a while. he then moved to New York City, living there on the streets for years and years. in the 1940s, he moved to los angeles, and has been living there ever since.

vincent was born on march 26th, 1963, in newark, New Jersey. his first experience turning into a werewolf was in a public setting at age 5, forcing him and his family out of the state and to Utah (though he, like niko, has managed his accent). His family was keen on trying to cure themselves of their canine blood, but vin wouldnt. he moved to la at age 20. nikolai took him in, soon afterwards turning him at 23.

describe their family life and friends: neither of them have contact with their families anymore, niko because his family he knew are all dead, and he doesnt know where their decendents are.vin because he finds them toxic for what they were doing to “cure” themselves.

What is the world they come from like? Literally just the earth but 32 years ago.

Are they original or exist in a certain fandom? original Are they an introvert or extrovert? nikolai is an introvert, and isn’t too big on talking to people, but vincent, while shy, loves talking to people once he gets to know them.

Greatest fear? nikolai fears getting close to people, particularly mortals. he knows they will die, so he doesnt want to be grieving a loss every few years. vincent is scared of abandonment, despite leaving his own family.

What’s their sense of humor like? they both share a dry, sarcastic sense of humour.

Favorite pieces of fiction or genres they enjoy? niko likes classic fiction, and vincent likes true crime.

Favorite music genres? nikolai likes 80s synthpop, and classical russian music. Vincent likes classic rock and glam metal, and is a little more reluctant to admit that some 80s pop slaps.

Describe their vision of a perfect spouse, if applicable. Each Other Motherfucker

Largest regret? for both of them, becoming what they are. niko wishes he wasnt a vampire, and vincent wishes he wasnt a werewolf.

Something your OC would say? To quote on of my favourite vines as an example

vincent: if you play this harmonica you will get 100 million dollars but a hundred million people will die

nikolai: [aggresive harmonica blowing]

vincent: niko NO-

Whats their morality like? niko tries to have morals, but he, well, has to kill people to survive. vincent however, has very strong morals, but since he was turned, he unfortunately has to destroy them.

Would they live in a city, rural area, or suburb? Both prefer the city

Which actor would you like to portray your OC? (Or a voice actor) i havent seen anyone suiting vincent but holy shit this guy named edward bess looks Exacrly like how i think niko would look its fucked

Sexuality? Gender Identity? both are cis men, vincent is bi with a preference for men, and nikolai is gay.

What inspired you to make this character? had to make a short story for english and got a little Too involved

Section 2 - If…

If they existed in another decade, what would they wear? (Asker can choose what decade) (Bonus points if you draw them!)

dont know how to answer this one boys

If they were in a RPG, what would be their class? nikolai would either be a mage or assassin type, and vincent would either be a barbarian or healer type.

If they received a large amount of money no strings attached, what would they use it for? neither of them are good with money, so im not sure. all i know a that a lot of it is going to be spent on nikos cigarette addiction.

If they competed on a competitive TV show, how would they approach to winning? (the “mean” one, the one who makes friends, the one who’s there for fun)

niko would be a shady bitch but a helpful one. vincents more just there to make friends cause he has no idea what the fuck hes doing otherwise.

If they could change one thing about their past, what would it be?

both of them would be like “being born”

If you met them, what would they do? probably kick my ass

Ask your own! Do it pussy

Section 3 - Other:

What other OCs would they get along with? theyre the only ones i have nowadays so each other

What’s their singing voice like? dont know for singing but just talking niko sounds like an unenthusiastic stuttering melovin and vincent sounds like that one post of the guy and the 7/11s

Take a personality test as the character. Post results. niko is apperantly intp and vincent is enfp but iont know shit

What would be their fighting style in a fighting game like Mortal Kombat, Super Smash Brothers, or Street Fighter?

niko mains as the least fair edgy lookin ass character and spams side smash while vincent actually takes time to be a fair and skilled player

What are some mannerisms/quirks?

niko has a stutter when speaking english, and often forgets english words mid sentence. hes also very fidgety and easily distracted, as he has undiagnosed add. vincent tends to clutch onto things a lot, and talks in a lot of new jersey slang, that niko, who already has trouble with english being a non-native speaker as is, does not understand what the fuck he means at all

Describe their favorite meal.nowadays blood considering theyre vampires but niko also lives off of alcohol and cigarettes so theres that

What do they do when they’re bored?

niko usually reads anything he can find but vincent just contemplates shit

How do they express love/affection for someone?

vincent is more verbally affectionate, and loves showering niko in compliments and telling him that he loves him and shit. nikolai, though, is more physically affectionate, loving to cuddle and just be clingy. they both love pet names.

Most embarrassing thing that could/has happened to them? Boy I Do NOt Know

Make a portrait sketch of them!

well i fuckin would if mobile tungle let me

Put it here

#my ocs #nikolai volkov #vincent rivera #tainted

[inkbrusher]

maybe it’s dramatic of me to say, but i often think i’m intrinsically lonesome by nature and am destined to stay that way.

i dont know what’s wrong with me, or if there is anything wrong with me, though i always feel like i’m cursed in that aspect... i feel like it’s impossible for me to get genuinely close with people. i am shy but i’ve learned to be personable to get by. but i dont know what it is i dont have that just does not allow me to make proper friends

i’m probably thinking about this a lot because lately i’ve just been so around people i wish i could be better friends with or seeing people be far more successful at making friends than me

namely my sister. i’m sure it’s evident i love her to pieces and i harbor no ill-will against her in any way, especially on this front, but it just strikes a cord with me to see her come into college and make so many friends immediately. even outside of that, in general she gets so along with people, far better than i ever could... anyone who gets to know both of us always ends up closer with her. its funny that people used to always say she was the shyer one. again i dont hate her or even dislike her for that but i can’t help but always just observe the difference between us and try to think about what is different with me. what am i missing

i suppose growing up with her, being so incredibly close, i felt maybe it was ok i was never really able to make friends bc i’d always have her. we’re always on the same page and sometimes i almost feel like we’re practically the same person. so to witness her excel at being so personable was just... made me realize it really is just me here. having these problems. my lack of competence in socializing is not exactly a universal experience

this isn’t all about my sister tho... its just a lot of that triggers these thoughts im having lately. watching her get along with people so well kills me bc i wish i could be like that. and then it makes me look at people i do talk to and wish i could do better with them. im a pretty low maintenance friend, though maybe too much so. ive grown away from people simply because i never initiated, and once they stopped, we never really reconnected. 

i think about this and i dont know if this is because of my lack of experience with having real friends or if the first few friend circles i had online were founded on such passive aggression that it enabled and fed my tendency to shy away from confrontation or even just outright communication, which is actually really important. i had messy falling outs about a year ago, just because i couldnt choose who to side with, and i feel perhaps that is still affecting me.

and maybe i feel like i can never have that because i felt i had friends in high school, a best friend, even, but the fact that i no longer keep tabs on any of them anymore speaks to that point. i see now that the best friend was only one because we shared most of our classes every year. we’d hang out yeah, but that started falling apart in our senior year, and by the end i’d heard about how many times she’d had big hangouts with our other friends without inviting me. i mean in the end i see i did not share much in common with any of these people but even so... she called me her best friend and pulled that stuff... i know that sounds like petty hs drama because it is, but it’s that stuff that’s become so rooted in me that i feel like i’m incapable of ever having or being a good close friend 

i am about to finish college and i haven’t made one real friend... by real friend i mean someone you go out of your way to hang out with... someone it doesn’t feel too painful to be one-on-one with... i have a lot of acquaintances tho. like im friendly enough with a lot of people, especially with animation floor people just bc im there so much and we all kind of assist each other, but i never hang out with anyone. a lot of them are friends, but i just feel strained with them. is it me? i think it is. i dont know why i can’t

four years of this has done its work on me, it really does drive me crazy at times. ive always been told ‘youll find your people!’ like in hs i looked forward to college for that but look where it’s left me... nowhere really. and then that goes back to seeing how my sister has had a completely different experience immediately coming into college so i know it is me

i’m a human being i crave social interaction yeah. i just want to know what its like to have that again. what is it like to have a real ass best friend??? to talk about stupid mundane shit like how was your day or literally anything. i hardly remember what it feels like to be so insync with another person on that level and yet i find myself missing having a feeling like that so bad... so so bad... i guess thats why i think about love so much too but thinking that far is laughable considering i am mediocre at just socializing

obviously ive supplemented this with my online presence... the reason i am Constantly online is obviously a testament to this. im lonely so i have to find a way to fill that in. ofc it’s been that much easier to make online friends but i still feel there’s an imbalance. for one, i know i’m hardly ever the one initiating. most of the ppl i talk to are ppl who talked to me first bc they got to know me thru my art (god knows where i’d be if i didnt have that thing going for me at least). i dont mean this to offend any of my online friends but i just think about how one sided even those friendships can be. i know i never initiate and i feel bad that i probably make it difficult for you. i just have no idea what to do anymore

and obviously this loneliness is why i post so much. why i wrote this whole god danged stream of consciousness for no reason. why i get so personal in posts or what have u. i got no one to talk to anymore or feel like anyone cares to listen and i feel like i can’t just use pals to ramble insecurities like this anymore and not give anything back... it’s not fair to them

but simultaneously i feel stuck in this limbo and as nothing has ever really gotten better as years go on, i feel i will be for the rest of my life

#.txt #its really late and im just getting overly and inwardly thoughtful #i just need to spill words dont mind me

[critical--veins]

Answer all the get to know me questions :)

oh jeez tht’s so many I’m sorry u all have to scroll past this but I’ll do it for u anon 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I genuinely don’t even remember my hands r lonely

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

SO SHY3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

my familyyyy & best friend when I go home for spring break :)4. Are you easy to get along with?

yah man I’m chill with everyone5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

yes ! (I hope)6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

I like ppl who are genuine & kind!7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

nooooo (I wish but no)8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

this boy I’ve been talking to on & off cause he wants to see me when I come home :)) 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

not usually I guess it depends who it’s with tho10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my friend paulina last night at 2am after getting back from a party lol11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“yah girl what’s up”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

quixoticelixer- red hot chili peppers

hello euphoria- turnover

all my friends- knocked loose

hurt- trophy eyes

control- citizen 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

UH HUHHH 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

I mean this is an interesting question bc in the universe things happen that seem lucky or miraculous but are just due to chance so in a way yes, but NO15. What good thing happened this summer?

I met my family in honduras for the first time & they were so amazing16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ooooh this questions fun idk maybe!17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

ABSOLUTELY18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

nope19. Do you like bubble baths?

hell yah soak me up 20. Do you like your neighbors?

my across the hall neighbors in my dorm building are mean21. What are you bad habits?

NEVER LEAVING MY BED22. Where would you like to travel?

alaskaaaaa I wanna hike around denali 23. Do you have trust issues?

a little24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

GOING THE FUCK TO SLEEP25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

all26. What do you do when you wake up?

sigh rlly dramatically27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

I wish I had pretty pale skin, but I like being tan too! so both28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my little sister29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nope30. Do you ever want to get married?

OH YES SO BAD31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yes!32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Harry Styles for sure, Awsten Knight from waterparks is also v dreamy33. Spell your name with your chin.

L.JCYH (mood) 34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I used to be a cheerleader !! (I competed so miss me with that not a sport shit) 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

OH YES37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I don’t break awkward silences bc IM AWKWARD38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

someone smart! also just someone who can be chill all the time I hate fights & pettiness so like idk just be chill39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

I luv going into furniture & decor shops like home goods or kirklands lol 40. What do you want to do after high school?

 I’m in college rn studying to be a conservation biologist!

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

no some people are genuinely bad42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

usually nothing bc I’m always quiet lol43. Do you smile at strangers?

yeah sometimes!44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space 100%, I wanna see the earth from outer space I think that would be the most life changing experience!!45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

fuckin class I need to earn my degree46. What are you paranoid about?

never finding the love of my life 47. Have you ever been high?

yah like once lol48. Have you ever been drunk?

oh yeah49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

nah50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

grey!51. Ever wished you were someone else?

every FUCKING day52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

one thing?53. Favourite makeup brand?

I dont rlly have one! but I guess I use a lot of it cosmetics 54. Favourite store?

there’s this record store called the sound garden & I used to go to it in baltimore all the time cause I live like an hour from there, THEN I FOUND OUR THEIR OTHER LOCATION IS IN SYRACUSE WHERE I GO TO SCHOOL so like idk I love that store cause it’s my lil home connection

55. Favourite blog?

too many! ily all56. Favourite colour?

green :)57. Favourite food? 

MAC & CHEESE TILL I DIE58. Last thing you ate?

toaster waffles I didn’t even toast I just microwaved bc I’m lazy59. First thing you ate this morning?

the toaster waffles60. Ever won a competition? For what?

yeah I’ve won a photography contest & a poetry contest, and I got second in an art show for my dorm lol61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I was suspended in the 6th grade for telling a boy I wanted to punch him in the face lmaoooo 62. Been arrested? For what?

nooo63. Ever been in love? 

I don’t think so 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

fucking awful cause it was new years eve so I knew it was coming but I didn’t rlly want to, so the nerves just built & built the whole night so yeah not good not good at all65. Are you hungry right now?

nahh66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

ya’ll don’t talk to me (the ones that do I luv u)67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr?

both!69. Are you watching tv right now?

no70. Names of your bestfriends? 

maddie & brandon71. Craving something? What?

affection always72. What colour are your towels?

blue72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

373. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

nah74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

I don’t think I have any anymore75. Favourite animal?

BEARS I WANT A BEAR TATTOOED ON ME RN76. What colour is your underwear?

dark grey77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

cookie dough every time79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

black 80. What colour pants?

no pants! all day long!81. Favourite tv show?

friends is one of my faves, but I also rlly love rick & morty which is a lil embarrassing but it’s the best

82. Favourite movie?

ya know I don’t rlly have a fav movie83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

the goth bitch janis 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

crush the sea turtle is the best character87. First person you talked to today?

a BOYyyyy who I’m rlly into 88. Last person you talked to today?

my friend paulina!89. Name a person you hate?

lol this girl me & my friend just started going out with, she’s so awful & we’re trying to figure out how to cut her off without being mean :/ 90. Name a person you love?

my parents91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

myself?92. In a fight with someone?

nope93. How many sweatpants do you have?

I have like 5 pairs 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

TOO MANy95. Last movie you watched?

I watched nerve but I didn’t rlly like it lol96. Favourite actress?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯97. Favourite actor?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯98. Do you tan a lot?

not rlly but I tan easily so I don’t have to99. Have any pets?

I HAVE 3 CATS & THEY’RE ANGELS100. How are you feeling?

sleepyyyy101. Do you type fast?

yah 102. Do you regret anything from your past?

yes103. Can you spell well?

I tell myself I can but actually probably not104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yeah my friend from last year who I kinda drifted apart from I miss her a lot105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yeah106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

yes whoops 107. Have you ever been on a horse?

YEAH I LOVE TRAIL RIDES 108. What should you be doing?

writing my speech for my public presentations class & studying lol109. Is something irritating you right now?

no110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yeah 111. Do you have trust issues?

a little112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I mean my friend emily but I was laugh crying113. What was your childhood nickname?

 my friends in middle school called me Lulu lmaooo 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah I go to school out of state!115. Do you play the Wii?

no I used to tho116. Are you listening to music right now?

yah dude listening to being as an ocean rn 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yup118. Do you like Chinese food?

I fuckin LOVEEE chinese

119. Favourite book?

idk I haven’t read for pleasure in a rlly long time 120. Are you afraid of the dark?

yes lol121. Are you mean?

no I try to be kind as fuck122. Is cheating ever okay?

noooOoOooo123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

nOOOOOOO124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

NOOOOOOOOOO125. Do you believe in true love?

yah I want to126. Are you currently bored?

yesssss127. What makes you happy?

sunday phone calls with my parents128. Would you change your name?

nah my names pretty unique I’ve never rlly met another Lucy 129. What your zodiac sign?

leo!130. Do you like subway?

yah subways dank131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

uhhhhhhh idk that’d be weird132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my friend Paulina 133. Favourite lyrics right now?

”when I sit alone come get a little known but I need more than myself this time”

snow by rhcp is like one of my fav songs of all time & I just love that line idk 134. Can you count to one million?

who would ever135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

I DON’T LIE TO PPL BITCH136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed ew wtf who sleeps with their door open137. How tall are you?

4′10138. Curly or Straight hair?

curlyyyy139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette140. Summer or Winter?

summer absolutely141. Night or Day?

BOTH 142. Favourite month?

I like may cause the weather is nice & also I get to go homeee143. Are you a vegetarian?

no I’ve given up meat for a while tho & it wasn’t bad! also I eat vegan some days just bc I like doing it but I love mac & cheese too much for that shit (I know vegan mac & cheese exists but easy mac) 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk145. Tea or Coffee?

tea146. Was today a good day?

I didn’t leave my bed so yah147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers148. What’s your favourite quote?

anything carl sagan has said ever I fucking love him but one of my faves is from pale blue dot that says

”The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.”149. Do you believe in ghosts?

idk I’ve never had a ghost experience but I like the idea of it so sure150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“The plant cell typically consists of a more or less rigid cellwall and a protoplast.”

It’s the textbook for my plant evolution class lmaooo 

tht deadass just took me so long lol thanks for occupying me for like an hour

[decodervon]

Mean.

mean. it was mean and meant to provoke. it all hurts.

being honest isn’t a shield against being upset. that night with Kayla, I was honest and i knew it would upset you. do you remember how you treated me after i told you? i knew you would be mad. disappointed. sad. angry. i knew you’d feel those things and more and i still asked for more. i let you treat me however you wanted to treat me, because i knew what i did was wrong. ive kicked myself a MILLION times for that act and let you get in as many kicks as you wanted. just because you are honest, does not mean anyone has to be lenient in how they feel. thats a loss you have to accept and admit. its a permanent black mark on your record, and that’s just what it is. you can feel upset about having it pointed out, but its what. happened. hearing you almost OD on drugs is scary, and makes me mad, and disappointed, and angry. I KNOW you feel that way yourself, but you’ve gotten to feel that and process that already. this is still news to me. i’ve put so much time and care into you that i’m allowed to be angry. you don’t get to be angry about ME being angry about a dumb mistake you made. thats the sound of me CARING about you living and dying. a blackout is one step below hospitalization. thats SCARY to hear. what if i told you i did so many drugs i blacked out?? or how I was so drunk I dropped my bike on myself and then dropped it a second consecutive time till a stranger had to help me? see? its honest, and I fully expect you to be mad, scared. and disappointed in me. part of accepting responsibility for your shortcomings and failures is accepting that they ARE failures and if someone points them out or is disappointed in them, you have to accept that and make peace with it. if someone hates me or distrusts me for the mistakes I make... they have a right to. I have a right to be upset. your parents and the people who care about you have a right to be upset. you have a right to be upset when they do things that hurt themselves. please dont be so angry at me for caring about your well being.

i.. dont like manipulating people. it's like being good at kicking dogs. it's a way my intellect can be used to deceive people into actions they wouldnt normally. I dont morally like doing it. like I did manipulate megan to give me information.. I just asked. I wanted to know how you were. I am desperate for information about you because I'm still... addicted. I'm slowly reprogramming myself but it hurts. it hurts to know I spent so long suffering just to have to swallow that it's over. and moving on with our respective people hurts and proves that. there was a time where I was manipulating you and it was horrible. it makes me feel like that time I pressured you into sex. it feels gross and empty and I really dont want to resort to it if I can. my mom does it habitually because of whatever her trauma was growing up.. but I dont share her same wonton opinion of its use. I justified using it because I thought you were seeing someone behind my back... and I was right. that's what always killed me about that time. I was suspicious, i was controlling, and manipulative and I ended up being... correct to have tried to do so. it kills me when I go over it. but it's also true that none of that stuff helped. being suspicious made me distrustful. being controlling made it harder to believe you. and manipulation made me feel like nothing you said or did was authentic. there were BIG consequences to those actions, regardless of the situation. and none of them helped. maybe suspicion because that led me to finally outing you, but yeah. I promise, I dont want to go back to any of that. I am not trying to goad you out of any information and am happy to pay for it with information that you might want. its honorable and I dont have to feel so awful after.

I touched upon some of the feelings I felt about the tryst.. its.. I feel really complicated. I'm.. starved for physical affection. enough to throw money at randos for nudes (not a very proud moment for me [and while sex work is real work, I've usually done well enough to not have to patronize]) and would probably go way out of my way and spend myself too much for it. i... did have something physical with someone that was very brief but I don't want to get into it. I felt weird. it felt wrong and I wish it couldve been you. doesnt matter. what matters is I would spend myself much more than I should for some physical affection, especially if the person knew me and all my weird kinks. i.. wanted that from you for so long. not just the last few years. the whole relationship I wanted you to want me. i never felt like you really did. sometimes you did. moments. places. seconds. but i hungered for you. all the time. the second I decided I was in (roughly three months in) I never looked at you a different way. it didnt matter what your hair looked like, or if you had makeup, or if you weighed more or less... none of that mattered. I decided I was in and you were this.. bond I craved. I never knew how to get you to... want me sexually from a standing still point. I poured all of that desire into going down on you. into a mastery of manipulating you sexually until I could get you to cum as fast as a guy. I wanted you so bad. I wanted that.. reaffirmation of being sexually desirable. i wanted to feel attractive because that's the only way i ever FELT sexy. i wanted to be objectified by you because it made me feel good about myself. having this super hot girl treat me like my body was super hot? its was like drinking out of the holy grail of self-esteem. words are... ultimately meaningless to me. it's like. I have a certain experience and mastery where I understand that words are just... nothing. they're only the cardboard cut out of Meaning and the actions behind them, are what make them stand. you could tell me I'm Hot for 100 years and I'll shrug it off everytime. but to me, you dont fuck someone you dont find attractive. not if you have the choice.

to me you were always this stonewall. you knew the world wanted your body. no matter what you thought about it. you built up this stone face that I could never see past. I never thought my actions were good enough. it's why I always asked. why I always needed to check that I was sexually adequate enough. I felt like I was at arms reach. its felt like you were this quiet master. watching, waiting; judging. I wanted you to be vulnerable and weird and gross around me. I bring up one of my favorite all time sexual experiences with you as the time you came home drunk and had the loudest, grossest dirty talk session with me as we fucked and i loved it (for being super hot as well) because you were so... raw. you didnt care if I was into it or not. you didnt care what you said or how I responded. you just let loose and it was so honest and pure. it was the best sex because i actually felt close to you. I didn't have to ask if you liked it. didnt have to wonder for one second. I knew you got what you needed and in doing so, gave me what I needed. most of the time...sex felt like I was bothering you. like you just wanted to get it over with.

and the tryst is.. its. you spend so long feeling sexually unwanted and then these last years.. I don't really rank into your priority system. I haven't for a long time. It goes: Work>Burlesque>Family>Friends/Self-care>Cats>Me. I've had to compete against everything else in your life to just.. get a chance to see you. I'm publically banned from your house because of a relationship that came LONG before it, but we both know it's total bullshit since you still end up sneaking me in when it works into your schedule. I really wanted to show you that I wasnt just a mad, angry fucking asshole anymore. That I did have the capacity to trust. that I had more patience. but I had to fight against everything go even get a chance and you were barely willing to even see me. I just..

I'm not trying to point a finger. that's not what this is about. it's about realistic expectations and being logical. a tryst is a fun, secret idea. maybe I'll write a piece about it. I'm not saying you wouldnt put in work, but just like you dont trust me on certain things.. I dont trust you to either pencil me in or erase a plan and spontaneously appear. that has nothing to do with damages and more about character. you're someone who plans things. you like following a path. its comfortable for you. you can control it. I have always been the opposite. I am "I'll be there when I get there" and always got a secret place to show someone. I was the neighborhood kid on his bike looking for a hideout. control is.. an illusion. we are our truest selves when chaos hits. when all the plans fall apart. I like the concept of bailing on anything to go do something bad.

you're healing. I'm healing. I don't expect you to roll the dice on me and that's nothing if not just pragmatic. it gets me excited because /i/ would do something like that. like it's a hot idea to think about climbing up to your balcony for secret sex. would I ever do it? no. it's a huge violation of privacy and i already promised I would never intrude on your safe spaces. that is a gesture /i/ would like. not you. I've had so many times I've wanted you to just... show up somewhere for me. I remember ice skating alone on valentines day. I cry when I write that. you were with friends and we werent in a great way. but I showed up and I hoped you would and I got a "I would of but it's too late, I'm with my friends already" I couldve been with my biological father and still bailed for ice skating with you. and so I mean. I'm not saying you wouldnt do the the work or that I dont trust you. I'm saying the definition of Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. you're getting what you want out of someone else and I have nothing left to give. I'm sure you dont cum as hard for him, but give it time and direction and im sure that changes. everything I had or did is replaceable. repeatable. forgettable.

and both our relationships are fledgling. I know you care about him, but you're damaged like me. I know that its gratitude. it's like someone giving you a massage. you're thankful, but a connection that does not make. I'm not saying my situation is better, infact, its possibly worse. I'm involved with someone I've had a decade long crush on. who's choosing to mess with men again specifically due in part to ME. the idea of either one of us getting into something even partial meaningful is laughable and HIGHLY dangerous to those people who are involved. I'm taking things intentionally slow because I dont want this person to be a rebound. sex, affection, anything. I need to process before I dedicate myself to anyone. but you're having a much more casual and adult relationship. will it turn into something REAL? who can say. but regardless, it is a rebound. just like I was. and I had to fight tooth and nail through the first year due to your friends influencing you, you still fucking around with your ex (lol that's me now) and your general uneasiness to want to be official in an attempt to a real, honest relationship.

idk. maybe I'm reading into the fact that you dont care if "mystery man gets hurt". I am envious of your casual and open thing. I wish for the same, but the Universe apparently needed me to know that my longtime ultra crush was interested in me and.. I.. I couldn't turn it down. i need it after everything. i was almost driven crazy. the only thing that's missing is the physical part and im.. trying to keep it like that. I dont know why. I should take a page out of your book and just.. do it. you have that now. probably wasnt more than a couple of dates before, if that. I have this meaning and purpose associated with sex... and that's hard when you were in love with someone who felt differently. I wanted to be the one to take care of you. even if we werent doing well. just break it down to its physical components and go to town and just.. part ways after. no strings. but that's not something we could ever believe the other could do with one another. and it hurts.. a lot to know you're physically with someone else.

a lot.

[imaginesparadise-blog]

Imagine John shelby coming to your family picknick in a way to prove to your family how much he really does love you. You were now sitting on the grass playing with your siblings and cousins while the parents were organising everything perfectly for the family picknick, you couldn't stop looking around to see if John had arrived but everytime you looked he wasnt there, you sighed to yourself and picked up you little sister resting her on your hip and holding her with your arm around her waist making her smile everytime you would jump and laughed silly at her. " When is he coming honey? Your father is growing a little impatient now" your mother patted her dress looking at you sweetly before kissing yours and your sister forehead tenderly. " Mom, dad is impatient since the day he was born I think he even fought with the nurse when he was born just because he was a little late when coming" you rolled your eyes and your mother couldnt help but laugh histerically at your sassy remark. " You always know what to say, impressive but since John it's late maybe we can..." " Hello love of my life and hello my future family in law" John greeted loudly everyone with his arms open and smiling widely, you looked at him not being able to contain your smile and hand over your sister to your mother running towards John to hug him tight after being a couple of days away from each other. " where have you been?! I was rhinking you had changed your mind about coming today" you kissed his lips quickly not wanting to show much affection infront of your father. " are you insane my love? How could I be away any longer from you and my future family? I was just caught up with a little work but I am all yours for the rest of the day y/n.." John cupped your face smiling like a young man in love " Jesus how much in love I am with you woman, you drive me crazy" You blushed at his words and quickly jumped on your feet after your father cough to brinf both of your attention to him, you quickly composed yourself and stood next to john holding discretly his hand while he looked at your father and reached his hand for your father to hold. " Hello mr. Y/L/N , my name is John shelby and I'm your daughter boyfriend and hopefully husband if god so let us be" john spoke smiling at you for a minute and turning the gaze to your father seeing how his face changed, your father shaked John hand and nodded his head in a greeting manner. " You are late so lets eat and talk more about you mister shelby, I'm curious about my daughter choice" You rolled your eyes at your father comment and gave a apologetic smile to John something he brushed it off and walked to the table on the garden. When everyone was sat and with their plates with food John and your father started to talk and for your suprise John was far from being intimidated by your father posture and behavior towarda him. " So John did you went to war or you were a coward and stood back watching the real man fighting for their country?" " dad!" You repreend him and John rested his hand on top of yours. " Yes sir I went to war, me and my other two brothers were in war, I am no coward and never will be, I fight my own battles and protect what I love at all costs" " That sounds interesting, and what is that you do for a leaving then?" Your father drank his wine never taking the eyes from John. " I work at the family bussiness, we have a pub called garrison in case you want to visit and have a drink with me, I offer the drink sir and gambling aswell, all legal if you are wondering the source of it" John drank his wine too and your mother smiled at you giving you a aproving look about john. "Dad you are sounding like a police man, he came here to be with us and to meet you all, stop making such a big quiz like that please" you pouted at your dad and he sighed rubbing his face and then resting his hands on the wooden table. " John my concern its my daughter and her safety means more to me than you could imagine, yes we have our little one still but y/n its the one that is growing up and I just want to make sure that nothing bad will happen to her or else I dont know what I would do or how I would react, she is my little girl and always will be, I think you can understand that" your father finally stopped with the quiz towards john and sighed confessing his fear about you and your future, your face softened when you heard your father words and you grabbed John hand looking at him happy that its was going well this day. " I understand exactly what you are saying for I have kids on my own, I fear the same thing for me daughter and I can unsure you if I was in your place I would treat her boyfriend worse, but sir.. I love your daughter like I never loved anyone and I am not saying this to keep you happy and calm, I am saying this from the deepest part of my heart, I want to make her a honest woman, I want to marry her and spoil her with the world if I can give her that, I am always worried about her and her safety it's my mission in life and also loving her until the day I die, so please mr. And mrs. Y/L/N if you give me permission..." John stood up from his seat and stood next to you, you looked at him confused and your parents exchanged looks beetween themselves. " what is going on?" Your mother asked and you looked at her has clueless like she was. John kneeled infront of you and pulled a box infront of you, a red velvet box and opened to reveal the most beautiful esmerald engagement ring you have ever seen, you gasped and covered your mouth with your hands looking astonished at the ring, your father eyes widened and his jaw dropped and your mother squealed grabbing a hold of your father's arm. " Y/n, since I saw you i knew you had to be mine, your smile is the sunshine on my cloudy days, your voice is the music to my ears, your eyes are the diamonds I want to keep for life and never see pain in them, you arms are my safe haven and when you gave me your heart I locked it up tight so nobody could steal from me, I dont know how to do my life anymore wirhout you, I hate when we fight because I see you sad and that breaks my heart, I love to see you laughing because in that few seconds I was able to make you happy and that is my main goal in life, I dont want no one else but you for me because there is no woman in the world that could compete with you unless its our own children when the time comes, so please my beautiful angel would you give me the happiness and make me the luckiest man in the world by marry me?" John eyes were watering and you were now crying softly listeninf carefully every word he had just said, once he finished you nodded your head yes multiple times not being able to talk and John slipped the ring on your finger kissing it after. Your whole family clapped and your mother was holding yourself against your father cryinf emotional at the proposal, you stood up with john and hugged him tightly and kissed him deeply deposing all the love you have for him in that kiss. " I love you so much John, God if i love you!" You smiled trhough your tears and he smiled kissing your forehead and hugging you tightly. " I love yoy my queen, always and until I die dont ever doubt or forget that" he whispered against your hair not containing his smile. " Why cant you be more like him?! You never proposed to me like that" your mother said to your father and your father rolled his eyes something that made you and John laugh. " I married you didnt I? and I'm romantic so dont complain" your father protested and moved to John to congratulate him and you for the recent engagement.

#john shelby #john shelby imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders #john shelby x reader #engagement imagine #peaky blinders fandom

[survivor-rotuma]

Ep. 10: “when you do clownery... the clown comes back to bite.“ - Lysandre

Brianna

WELL THAT TRIBAL SUCKED ASS!!! But at least a bunch of powers are out now!!! Also I got a brand new ride or die ally with Joey of all people!! We are the best friends 4eva. Anyways. I feel the complete opposite of safe. Kind of hate it. At least I’m still here tho. I still got a chance. 

Felix

Messiest tribal ever. And I never even had to lift a finger lol. I still think Joey and Brianna are goats. They'll be my new FTC now. I'll surely win with them there.

joey g

brianna and i went from never speaking to being f2 #bestfriends4ev #missuflint

Brianna

I was really able to start a fight between Apollo and Felix yay. And Joey and Boris are fighting. Yay!! 

Felix

I should be able to win this writing competition. I feel like I am a very competent writer, so hopefully it all works out in the end. My literary prose will surely earn me the win. I do not feel particularly safe. Especially considering all the craziness that just went down at this tribal council. No one can be trusted besides Lysandre in my opinion, but, at the end of the day, I need him to go soon as well. I need to have people with weaker games than me. Otherwise, I don't know if I could win with powerhouses like Apollo and Lys here. I would need to impress the jury a lot, but I don't know if I could do that with the game I've played.

Boris

that was by FAR the messiest most cracked tribal and rock draw I've ever been a part of in a game. And I'm so shook that it was almost solely because of what I did. Is my game royally fucked? yes. I don't think there's any way I make it to the end. But if I do make it to the end? I think I have a really decent shot just because the jury will appreciate how insane I am. Felix doesn't trust me at ALL. Lys is PISSED at me. Apollo says he has my back but is acting like he doesn't because he's trying to get on everyone's good side. Joey is PISSED AT ME. and brianna is Brianna. So yeah idk I think I'm screwed! And I have no idea how to create stories so we'll see how this all pans out! 

Boris

I literally took a sledge hammer to my game tonight I'm so fucked

Lysandre

Boris when you do clownery... the clown comes back to bite.

Felix

I'm glad that Boris and Lys stan me to win. I just need them in the jury to have any affect. My preferred order now would be Apollo > Lys > Boris. These people need to go in order for me to win in this game. I will be the Sole Survivor. I am in the best position. And I will win my first ever game! Mark my words!

Felix

I have to rely on Boris at the moment because we need his number to take down Apollo. Apollo is my main target because he is the biggest threat in this game next to Lysandre. They both need to go in oder for me to win. Plus, Lys and Boris admitted he would vote for me in the end so we need to get them into the jury. I know that Boris is a rat and is therefore untrustworthy, but it's a risk that is needed in order to take out arguably the biggest threat to my game. I'm in most FTC trios except Apollo's and Brianna's, but one half of that is irrelevant (guess which one). I hope this goes well and I didn't just terminate my own game.

Felix

I cannot believe that Boris has one half of a super idol. This is ridicuolous. Now I am sort of forced to work with him in this scenario. Let's hope I can find the other half to keep it from him. I want this immunity so fucking bad,

Lysandre

So I really spent the entire day working on the challenge in hopes that I win. I also tried to idol search so that I could find the other half of the super idol and keep it from Boris or use it to bargain with him. It resulted in me finding a disadvantage that would not allow me to participate in the next challenge.

Felix

I told Boris to go to an idol spot where I know he won't be able to participate. If Lys and Boris both cannot participate in the next comp, it'll be easier for me to get that immunity. Especially if we eliminate Apollo from this game with this round. I'm praying he does not have an idol because I do not need that right now. Though I think he'd go for Lys which would eliminate a big threat to win at the end of the day. God I hope I win immunity

Felix

At the very least, Lysandre did not win immunity which means that's a bigger target is there to take care of rather than me. But I really want Apollo gone from this game. At this point, it's ridiculous if he doesn't leave. Ugh. Please Boris. Please me loyal and vote with me. Not even Lys. Just me. I need to make it to the end of this game. 

Felix

God I hope Boris is telling me the truth and is willing to vote out Apollo. I lied to him that I would be comfortable voting out Joey at the next tribal council to sweeten the deal of voting out Apollo. Since Apollo and Boris were closely aligned since the beginning, it'd make sense if we got rid of Joey at the next tribal council in order to "return the favor." But that is not the game I am playing. I am trying to get to the end without Lys and without Apollo. I feel that I can win against everyone else, but it's those two that scare me at the end. The order has to be Apollo then Lys because Lys cannot participate in the next immunity so it'd be the prime time to get rid of him. At F4, any of them can go. I don't care who it has to be. I just have to be at FTC.

Apollo

Omg, omfg. Lysandre is Tim. Gotta be.

Brianna

Apollo is so...self righteous. It’s kind of annoying. Talking about how everyone lied to him and betrayed him at the zest vote like...he wasn’t lying to other people at that vote. Get over yourselffffffffffff

Apollo

Okay so last round was wild and I think my last confessional accidentally got erased before I sent it or o just never did so oops my bad. So Boris is fucking nuts and not only idols me to safety but goes to rocks and ends up surviving! Wtf!? I think that’s crazy. Everyone that told me that they were going to vote Lysandre last round, actually did the damn thing. Even Flint!? Who had 0 reason to keep me, went for Lysandre. It made me feel really good to know that I was able to wrangle up all those people after being on the bottom just the vote before. I’m starting to get a little fuzzy about whether I can win or not anymore, but maybe that’s a good thing. I’d rather underestimate myself than overestimate myself. I think I want to be at the end with Brianna and Joey since I think I could beat either of them at the end of the day. As for the other 3? Idc who goes when but they have to get the fuck out of here. I think lysandre is more likable than me but Felix will have too many people on jury rooting for him if he’s at the end. So as much as it pains me to say that I want Lysandre out, under the circumstances, I want Felix out now. I think Lysandre might have another idol up his sleeve perhaps, I guess we’ll have to see. I may or may not play my idol depending on how I feel about people talking to me later. If I can survive this tribal without using my idol it means I’m guaranteed f4. The burning question is. Do I go for Lys or Felix?

Felix

I think my time in this game is going to be up soon. I don't know if my relationships are strong enough to get out Apollo. And if we do Brianna then everything has to go perfectly at this next tribal council. It has to be Apollo/Lys next, otherwise there's no way we can win. I hate not knowing what is going on. I hate having to rely on Boris of all people. Ugh.

Lysandre

So last round was... interesting. It proved everything I feared. Boris lied to me and I was right in playing my extra vote. In hindsight I should have just voted for Brianna twice but I didnt because I had faith in both Joey and Boris. Joey fucking voted for me which is surprising because the goat that he is... he grew braincells and decided to play the game and he actually thinks his gameplay is enough to get my vote or anyone else's. This round is a whole bunch of playing makeup and  everyone pushing their own agenda.  My agenda is to get out brianna. Once she's gone my path to the f3 gets easier.

Felix

Lys wants me to commit to a F3 with them and Boris. However, I do not want to go to FTC with Lys. This will keep me safe for the time being, but who's to say that I will not betray Lys next round or the round after that. He is the biggest jury threat still in the game, and I cannot have him here robbing me of my win. I just need this for the time being to survive. Hopefully then will I make it to FTC.

Lysandre

So last round was... interesting. It proved everything I feared. Boris lied to me and I was right in playing my extra vote. In hindsight I should have just voted for Brianna twice but I didnt because I had faith in both Joey and Boris. Joey fucking voted for me which is surprising because the goat that he is... he grew braincells and decided to play the game and he actually thinks his gameplay is enough to get my vote or anyone else's. This round is a whole bunch of playing makeup and  everyone pushing their own agenda.  My agenda is to get out brianna. Once she's gone my path to the f3 gets easier.

Boris

Trying to come back from last round is so HARD. I want Joey gone. Lysandre wants Brianna gone. Joey wants me gone. Apollo wants Felix gone. Felix wants Apollo gone. I bet production put crack in the water to get up those views 

Boris

I made ANOTHER F3 deal with Felix and Lysandre and honestly? I think it might be the one I'm actually loyal to? But I dont even know guess we'll see! I think Brianna is going tonight 

Felix

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. One. I found the second half to the superidol. I knew where the half was because it was the only uncharted area left. I sent Boris to a disadvantage. Two. I'm definitely utilizing it in order to get out Lys. PHEW. My wig! My social game is just THAT strong. I am literally getting to the end of this game and I cannot believe it. I love this for me.

Brianna

My streak of taking a nap the day of tribal has continued but. Nothing explosive seems to have happened. Probably just gonna vote for lysandre. If I get blindsided whatever. 

Lysandre

I don't think this confessional would do the social game I've been playing any justice but I have been working my ASS off. I've been trying my best to get everyone to vote my way. Originally Felix and joey wanted to aim for Apollo, Apollo wanted to aim for Felix, Boris wanted Joey, idk what Brianna was thinking but it was probably me. I first tried to convince Felix and Joey to do Brianna then I tried to get Apollo to do the same but he didn't budge. I finally got Boris to fold and then later Felix afterwards when I basically told him it was him or Brianna and he managed to get it together. 

Lysandre

GAME BREAKING NEWS Y'ALL. I sent Boris a big ole message after learning that be would be the deciding vote in tonight's and tried to convince him to stick with me and not Apollo. One thing led to another and Boris said the only way he'd do Brianna is if me, him, and felix were the final 3. So I made that alliance happen by talking to Felix and getting his consent. A FEW MOMENTS LATER. Felix found the other half of the super idol and we had to figure out who should hold it. We were literally the spider men pointing at one another when pointing out the times we have lied to one another and trying to find the most trustworthy in the bunch. We narrowed it down to Boris or felix since they have the halves. I voted for Felix to keep it since Boris has proved himself unreliable.

Felix

My superidol is an opal idol that allows me to vote two people and people can only vote between those two people. My plan is to use it next round between Apollo and Lysandre in order to ensure that one of them goes. Hopefully it will be Lys. I'll take out the last remaining one at F4 with the help of Joey and, hopefully, Boris. Even though I just made an alliance with them, I am going to betray them. I guess I am the villain of the season.

Apollo

I'm really fucking trying it this round, I either just secured my spot in the f4 or got myself a one way ticket to ponderosa. I think if it's time to go, thats okay too because I leave for Disney World tomorrow and idk if I"ll be the best at juggling the game and my vacation at the same time. If its my time to go, I want to Thank you Jay for bringing my crack't ass back into the world of orgs even if it was just for a little bit. I genuinely had a lot of fun this season, even if i get voted out tonight. <3 

Brianna

I don’t know if...the jury supports me or they’re just being dramatic but like...COULD THEY TONE IT DOWN AKSNSKSNEJ!!! I don’t want people thinking im a threat to win

Lysandre

Hey look another tie! Oh no I'm in the tie.

Felix

These people are crazy if they think I'm not flipping on Lys. I am guaranteed a spot in F4 which my opal idol. I have come so far. If I stick with Lys, it will go to rocks. Apollo has only this one shot to take if he wants to win. I am not putting myself at risk. It only shows that Lys has power over me. It only shows that I am a follower to Lys and Boris. With this move, I can break away from all that and mark my own path. I'll be the villain, and I'll be the only worthy player standing at FTC. I have to ensure that this move takes place. I have to take out Lys now. It breaks my heart that I have to do this, but I know it must be done. 

Felix

Loyalty has no place in Survivor. While it is true that loyalty gets you far, you must think logically and strategically if you ever hope to win. I have played so many ORGs where I was in Lysandre's shoes or my allies turned on me. But, at the end of the day, I got over it and voted the person who was strongest. I hope this jury doesn't turn bitter. After all, one bad apple ruins the bunch. But I have to do what's right for my game

Apollo

Well, I don’t know if I can say everything went according to plan? Joey kind of fucked everything up. Had he voted Lysandre, lysandre would be out, I wouldn’t have to deal with aftermath, and it would be challenge time. Honestly? I guess I am indeed the fucking villain of the season. I feel like Naomi smalls holding Manila Luzon’s lipstick in her titty. But you know what? IM PLAYING TO WIN, NOT TO APPEASE BORRIS AND LYSANDRE. Boris literally had the option to vote off Felix with me and Lysandre and I and Boris could walk to f3 but Boris showed his hand and proved that he couldn’t be trusted. Felix told me, while we’re waiting for this revote, that Boris leaked everything about me trying g to get him out. I’m so pissed off at Boris, he was using me this entire game, but I’m done being somebody’s pawn. So I went to Brianna and Joey and managed to get them to stick with me. I’m so pissed off at Boris, like fucking playing me since the merge. Like go choke honestly, it’s a game so I’m not that mad, but game was he can heck off. I’m safe next week because I have my idol so all I really have left is this final immunity challenge. Now I’m going to be in Disney world when it’s happening so it’s bound to be interesting. I’ll probably be the final juror since I won’t win it but at least I can say I put up one hell of a fight this season. I’m damn proud of my game. Lusandre told  me about Felix’s advantage going into f5 which seems wild and way over powering tbh but we’ll see I suppose. He says Felix gets to pick two people to vote between in f5 to vote out. And he says that I’ll follow him right out the door if I don’t win immunity. Too bad I won’t need to, I’ll be immune with my idol next tribal. So I may not know if I’ll make FTC but I know I’ll b making f4 at least. If I trip and fall at the last lap of this marathon then call me Wentworth I guess.

Brianna

Late time to say it now but I love my horrendous hand writing on the votes when everyone else uses actually text. It’s really difficult to do it with my finger okay 

Felix

It seems Boris is accepting the reality of Lys going. Now it looks like he wants to work with me again, but I see that as just a facade to convince me to keep him next round with my opal idol. But it'll be good because it means I can do whatever I want next round. I have to ensure, however, that Apollo does not win this immunity challenge. I need to keep it out of his hands. I want to vote him out sooner rather than later. Let's see how this all plays out. I think this is the farthest I've ever been playing a Survivor ORG. My mind is so fucking powerful.

[survivorfillory]

Lily’s Jury Question

Congrats to you both, but I’m not here for pleasantries. I’m here to get down to it. I’m currently undecided in my vote. I will take how you answer my questions very seriously.

Maynor- 1.  “I had overall good standing that i was given the CODE 4-0-6 for that advantage”

So you mean Colin and myself put in the work for you to get handed an idol, just so you could play that idol on dean and ensure Colin went home? You didn’t get an idol because of your “good standing”. You got an idol because myself and Colin trusted you. More of a statement but feel free to respond.

2. Just say I didn’t go out when I did and instead Nicole left. How would that have impacted the game? How long would I have lasted with you lying straight to my face?

3. Why did you take Jess to the end over Dani?

4. When you were deciding who would be at F2 with you, did you count how many votes you thought you would get at FTC? Did you expect to get mine with how you played the game?

5. You can respond to this if you choose but be careful. I guess I just thought we had more trust then what I’m realizing. I didn’t know you were essentially in a premade F3. I thought you were the kind of person who wanted to play hard and didn’t just rely on who they already knew. Good job getting control of dean and making it as far as you did. But saying that I was your second closest ally to Dani in my ROP didn’t leave me feeling good and def doesn’t earn my respect or vote.

Jess- 1. What move was most essential in your premerge game? Be specific. 2. What move was most essential in your merge game? Be specific. 3. I was shocked and disappointed that you decided to not participate in one of the final challenges in the game. I have a tough time voting for someone who doesn’t really compete to their best ability. How am I supposed to vote for you when less effort was put forth in challenges?

BONUS QUESTION CAUSE WHY NOT: This season had some of the most dramatic twists yet all the jurors were bored and most anticipated the ending as it occurred. What could you have done differently to make this season more exciting/unpredictable?

Thanks for taking the time to respond to all my questions and I’m interested to see who takes the win. Byeeeeee

Hey Lily! Let’s get down to business!

1. So pre-merge for myself was not a walk in a park at all. The most essential move I made has a couple of layers to it and is technically two essential moves so I hope you don’t mind!

So, in order to explain this move, I have to provide you with a little backstory. Keaton was someone who I mistakenly trusted with a little too much info early on. Because of that, I had to clean up the mess Keaton caused between myself, Nicole, and Dennis. In order to do this, I used the Julia vote to gain back trust or at least to appear less threatening with my “numbers”. Although, Julia was someone who I was working with at the time on BOTH of my tribes, I knew I had to sacrifice her in order to further myself in the game after Hurricane Kwaton struck for both Dennis/Nicole to at least entertain the thought of me not wanting to murder them for a round... I was one of two swing votes that round.

Speaking of Keaton, the second essential move to this all way laying down the ground work to Keaton’s demise. I know I can’t 100% claim this move on my own because I had no vote in the say. HOWEVER, I believe I got the ball rolling and provided the framework on getting out someone who wasn’t good for my game. I did so by using the One World twist to branch out to your tribe. I exposed Keaton’s plan to take out Dean to Dean, (That’s 1 number), I let both Dani and Maynor (2 and 3) know Keaton was not to be trusted, that he was throwing out info/challenges, and that he gave me the FAMOUS Kelley Wentworth answer... WHICH I told my tribe just for added measures so it'd leak into yours possibly.

2. I’ve never been much of a “Flashy” player so a lot of my essential moves occurred more subtly because I didn’t draw too much attention to myself.

However, the most PIVOTAL move I believe I made in the game was creating the “Narwhals” (yes that was the real name, yes I know it’s lame) alliance.  I initiated it, gathered everyone together, and I do believe it was my social game and my individual relationships to each member of it (Maynor, Dani, Dean) which was the glue that kept us together for as long as it did. This alliance allowed me to do so many different things in this game such as take out big targets while remaining one myself, play the middle, and have 3 people willing to take me to the end despite being a threat and in a “duo” (That's kind of a move on it's on..). Additionally, my threat level was something that was talked about throughout the season and seen in "Touchy Subjects" where I was labelled: “Who do you trust the most”, “who do you talk to the most”, and most IMPORTANTLY “Who would you like to win this game”.

3. I understand your disappointment, I was also incredibly disappointed in myself for not getting the challenge done. I tried my hardest and did the challenge for over 3 hours (yikes) and I knew at that point someone or everyone would have beaten me. Rather than spend any more time doing the challenge, I decided it’d be best to get right to work ensuring I wasn’t going to be targeted at tribal. I also believed I could potentially use this to my advantage to decrease my “competition threat” target that had been a focal point of the arguments prior to tribal the day before. However, there are no excuses for giving up and my decision to not complete the puzzle was not taken lightly and I’m still disappointed to this day about it. Additionally, I gave my all in every challenge in this game and I hope that was reflected in the 3 immunities I won, and the two I came close in.

BONUS QUESTION CAUSE WHY NOT:

For my own personal game, I wouldn’t have changed a thing (as boring as that sounds) because every move I personally made was essential to my success and my path to getting to the end.

However, IF I had to do something different to spice things up, I think I would have flipped my vote onto Dani. That way I wouldn’t have been seen in a “duo” anymore, and the power probably would have shifted because Dean would have also jumped ship and it would have been less predictable. It would have been a m-e-s-s but it'd at least be less predictable!

Hope I answered your questions okay!

Lily-

1. I didnt say it right but yeah. Meant to say that i was able to make strong bonds with people which got me trust which helped with the code. Because if we didnt have that bond you guys wouldnt have given it to me. (The vote was for nicole to go when the idol was played. Not Colin.)

2. If you have said, i would have stuck with you and colin because I did want to play the game with you guys. Every word i said about us going to the end was true. It would have been hard to vote Dani and Jess out but would have because i meant it. But u cant say i was the only lying to you. You also lied to me by telling Dennis about the real clownies alliance without telling me. We both were playing our own games and we both had relationships with people in the game that we felt could help us. You cant get mad at me for trying to keep those connections in good standing cuz you were doing the same. Im not the only one who lied.

3. In the end of my thought process i felt me and Jess played similair games that the jury could go either way. Is it a risk yeah for sure. That was one part of my thought but also i spent the whole game with them that i decided to talk to both and Dani decided to sacrifice her game so Jess n I could be in f2. (She did it for other reasons but doesnt have to do with this game). I respect Dani a lot that I honared her wish. 

4. To be honest. No. I was just more genuinely happy that I made it to the end of the game for a theme that I really loved. This is only my 3rd time being here and I have learned that you should never expect to have anyone vote to win. Would I like to receive your vote? Yes 100% but it’s your vote and your decision which in the end I would ultimitly have to respect. 

5. I dont know if saying anything would help you believe me or not. It’s always going to come down if you believe what im saying and its just not something im just saying to get your vote. I trusted you a lot. The phrasing in rop wasnt how i felt. It was crazy how much I trusted you in the game. I know it sounds fake but im being truthful that i had equal trust to u colin dani n jess. I kept having the idol from them until I used it to save Dean. Indid that because i was also lyoal to you guys and it was our idol. Yeah its true that me Jess and Dani were working together. There was the idea of us being f3 in the beginning but it was just more of it would be really awesome if we could do it. The thing that made us solidify truly was when we felt Dennis and Nicole were coming for us 

5. I didnt mean to disrespect you in the rop if I did I truly didnt mean it. Im sorry of I did. Once again its your vote and Ill respect whichever way you vote.

6. For everyone to be in the same time zone. There were people who were from outside the us which affect the time they were on. The time zones also have an affect with activeness. People being busy with their real lifes and not being really allowed to be much on. Having more convo and people being in the main chat would have made the season more exciting.

[sentofighta]

//since i watched 7 d.eadly sins two days ago. list of muses and their sins.

PRIDE

Einar, Roland

ENVY

Machina

GREED

Aiden, Balan, Sohrab

LUST

--

GLUTTONY

Feiruz

WRATH

Eight, Zack

SLOTH

--

explanation down below

Pride corner.

Einar.

He is most of all a byakko person and it is kind of a common trait in the empire since they are all high and mighty. Second, einar learned to do everything on his own even though he had his uncle, he had to learn to survive in order to protect his uncle back--repay him for everything he did. plus after the incident where his arm was cut off, his pride was slightly bruised but because of that, he will not take help from anyone. being a commander also plays a part. he got to carry himself in a way fit to lead the army. plus he is kind of competing with Qator all the time (notice me senpai gdi notice me you lil fak!) his pride can come in the way of many things but when he is calm, he can think more rationally. nationalities and all, he cares less about it because he is not proud of being a byakko citizen after what all cid did. he cares less who would win the war as long as his uncle is safe, all is good.

Roland

The prince of ylisse, the only male left. Unlike the other children of chrom who feel overshadowed by lucina, roland is perfectly fine with lucina taking the role of the exalt, heck he does everything in his power to ensure she is safe and protected. he wants her to lead them because she has more experience, that he knows for sure. his pride as chrom’s son, the man who got himself killed by his own best friend affect his life. he rarely connects to people and makes long lasting friendships. he always feel he is better than them and there is no need for ‘best friends’ when they will go around and stab him in the back someday. only lucina will be there for him and no one else. even though he is humble, he cannot stop feeling he is better, a defense mechanize he does to stop people from trying to befriend him. even though he is good to local ylissean, he is not that very kind to any of the second generation kids. he does not know whos parent killed his father so why he should trust their offspring? it kills him that his father was a man who trusted everyone even his enemies that is why he took it upon himself to be the different member, the one who questions everyone.

Envy corner peeps~

Machina

it was tough call because he wanted power and all, so it should be greed but in all he envies everyone for having power, family, friends, for having memories of their loved ones. he lost everything and the last person who he called a big brother. he envies how everything is going well for everyone and his life is getting even darker. machina can be the collection of all sins. he is prideful shown by how he acted around the zeroes in the last chapter--very above them. greed he wants all the power to protect not only rem but all orience. envy, envies everyone for their lives. lust, he wants rem’s attention and again lust for power and being in control of his fate. gluttony hmm i cant think of a proper thing but you can say he...eats time? like he wants full attention on him espeically after the zeroes came, class two were not regarded as the strongest class anymore. ? hmm. wrath...welp someone turned to the other side of the war to get power and show them who is the boss soooooooo yeah. sloth . . . he wants to get power but chose the shortcut by accepting Quinmi’s focus...hahahahahaha.

Greed corner ahoy.

Aiden

Being a survivor of the hod war, she does not know her lineage, her parents, nothing about her life before coming to nam island. she does not know her name, the name of her father or mother. Aiden wants power, money, everything to stop any war or anyone from having the same end results as her and the other 400 child on the isle. despite how calm she is, she wishes for everything, to not feel like garbage and unwanted like what malkuith and kimlasca made her feel.

Balan & Sohrab

Greeeed for knowledge yahhooooo!!! Where is knowledge you find these two nerds.

Balan anything spyrites related

Sohrab Alchemy? where???????/ tho i thought he would be sloth but his drive for knowledge mde him go out of his comfort zone so yeah

Gluttony

uuhh Feiruz.....she is..sunshine. since she is under development constantly, i will go with gluttony because she cooks and eat. goes to friends houses, gib food. lolol

wrath corner home boys!

Eight

dont. angry.one.calm.local.boy.who.knows.how.to.send.you.to.hospital. 

seriously, calm people who you trigger are the scariest shit dude. dont angry eight. he is cute and compact funsize but dont angry him. he knows how to punch a wall and turn it to dust. he uses magic too. dont please. 

Zack!

i mean same for eight. he is the type you dont want to angry or you will get the worst side of him. he is soooo hard to get pissed but he will be dead serious on taking you down.

it started serious then it got wonky cracky lololol but yeah the gust of my shit.

#⌈⌈ooc. (faty speaks) #⌈⌈building up. (feiruz) #⌈⌈building up. (einar) #⌈⌈building up. (eight) #⌈⌈building up. (machina) #⌈⌈building up. (sohrab) #⌈⌈building up. (zack) #⌈⌈building up. (roland) #⌈⌈building up. (aiden) #⌈⌈building up. (balan)