#i dont know why im so scared to post these. no one takes these men seriously | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pacifymebby · 1 year

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How would dark/yandere!peaky boys react to the reader asking for a break up (if they're dating) or divorce (if they're married) since reader gets uncomfortable with them now and finally notices their really possessive and unhealthy behavior? I have a feeling this most certainly won't go well

thx so much lovely❤️‍🔥

Thank u for this anon, not something ive ever tried to write before

Feel like this goes without saying lads but these wee headcannons depict sometimes abusive relationships that some people won't enjoy and may find upsetting. Please if u think it might upset u or put u at risk of harm, don't read them. (Im going to post some light stuff tonight too later on dont worry)

Tommy

🌿I'm not gonna lie, i don't think he'd let it get that far

🌿He's always in control, always pulling strings, no one thinks, feels or does anything without him knowing their desires before he does.

🌿He can read people like books, understand them deeply within only a few conversations, thats why he's so good at manipulating people and situations to get his own way.

🌿So if you are breaking up with him... Its because he wants you to, its just another microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan ect. ect.

🌿 Youre not leaving him, he's letting you leave... For one reason or another

🌿 It might be strategic, might be a way of taking the decision out of your hands, hes involved with some dangerous men and he wants you out the way for awhile, so he can be sure nothing will happen to you. If this is the case youll be dead to him, publicly, and as far as youre concerned. He'll cut you off completely, the only way youll be able to get through to him is if you march up to his front door.

🌿If he's letting you get to the point you actually try to leave him, he'll probably let you do it... If he shows you what life is like without him, how weak and feeble you are when you don't have him to protect you from the big bad world.. Then he knows you'll come running back.

🌿He might even set up the incident that scares you back to him. He might put you in "danger" then come swooping in to save you. Your tommy keeping you safe.

🌿And when you do he'll open his arms to you, he'll ask you if you missed him, "You've had me worried angel, thought somet had happened to you," and he'll lull you into a false sense of security.

🌿And just when you think youve been forgiven, he'll change, he'll be calm and cold but all the love wilo have drained from his eyes... "don't you ever do that to me again y/n, you know now eh, that world out there, it'll chew you up and spit you out and it won't think twice about putting you through hell, and i won't be so forgiving next time, might not let you back in... Think about that eh... Your Tommy might not let you back in..."

🌿But when he sees the tears in your eyes, that fear, the slight tremble in your bottom lip, he changes again, cups your cheek in his hand, rubs his thumb over your skin soothing and sweet, "Come 'ere eh, s'alright now love, you're back where you belong, right here with your tommy, c'mere"

🌿Pulls you into his arms, tight hug, holds you seriously and kisses your forehead. His eyes open the whole time.

🌿"You stay here now with me yeah, be safe as houses, just you and me against the world.."

🌿And he means it, thats whats so sinister about it, he really means it. As far as hes concerned in this world theres only really one thing that matters and thats him and you, him having you...

🌿So he wouldn't think twice about killing, destroying, burning the whole fuckin city to the ground if it meant keeping you.

🌿Ultimately youre the only thing in his life which is worth living for, other than spite. Hes obsessed with the idea of keeping you healthy, of giving you everything, of making sure you live the best life and remain pure and unscathed by the world...

🌿 Which again, is why he'd sooner see the whole world destroyed before he let you go off on your own and risk being hurt.

Alfie

🐻 Just like Tommy Alfie wants to protect you. He is obsessed with your innocence and your youthful optimism, he wouldn't want any harm to come to you or for you to ever be in danger... Which is why he dotes on you, completely smothers you with his love, never leaves you alone.

🐻 And just like Tommy Alfies not surprised when you try to leave. Unlike Tommy it isn't part of some greater plan... When he first realises youre beginning to distance yourself from him he is genuinely hurt.

🐻He loves you... In his own, maybe more intense than is generally conventional but you know, thats just him ain't it, kind of way. He genuinely doesn't know what he'd do if he lost his little zieskiet...

🐻 Hes concered too, he actually does think you're as small and helpless as he's always telling you you are... He genuinely does believe that without him, you'll wither away, be dead in a week. He knows you can't look after yourself... If he lets you go thats it youre gone forever

🐻 Which is why hes so determined to keep you

🐻 He starts simple, he turns on the charm offensive, twists that dial right up to 11... He doesnt realise its making you feel worse though, all this walking you from home to the shops, the bar, meeting you outside your work...

🐻 He brings you flowers, bakes for you, buys your pretty gifts and is ever so sweet to you

🐻 But he notices what you're doing, youre still making plans... And last night one of his men told him they saw you buy a train ticket to take you up north...

🐻So he takes things up a notch... He's never let you in his office before, tells you the only people who ever come into his office are business men, cause you only leave his office on a deal or death basis

🐻So when he calls you and instructs you to come to his office you know you're in trouble, and you're terrified he knows your plan

🐻 "Alfie whats going on youre scaring me..."

🐻 "Not as much as youre scaring me poppet..." "I don't under..." "you know what i dont like poppet?... Rumours... Yeah nasty little things rumours, theyre like fuckin woodworms yeah... Theres never just fucjin one of em is there, theres always fuckin hundreds of them and theyre everywhere right... Fuckin woodworms.. You know theyre all different dont you, theyre all their own little wood munchin grimy little individual selves... But see the thing is they all look and sound thr fuckin same... Disgusting, i hate woodworms... They get into everythin don't they, the very bones of your house, and they feast on it, fuckin parasites right... And sometimes you dont even know youve got em until one night youre sleeping, dreaming fuckin lovely little dreams and suddenly, they all start dropping on you from on high... You ever had that poppet? Woodworms? "

🐻" N.. No Alfie..." "Nasty shock, fuckin horrible shock actually..."

🐻 "And thats the thing right, rumours right, theyre exactly the fuckin same and see recently yeah, I've been hearing a lot of em... Know what theyre about?" he's leaning back in his chair fingers locked over contemplative, until he turns them on you, "You..."

🐻 He tells you hes heard rumours youre going to take a train up north, he tells you all the journey details... Departure time, the stops you'll go through and the time you'll arrive at your final stop. "Amazing init, the details you hear in rumours..."

🐻Now you think you know why hes brought you to his office... The gun in his drawer, maybe he's worse than you thought he was, you try to angle yourself so that you can see his hand.

🐻 "Now what i wanna know right, is if these rumours are true?" youre trembling, utterly terrified, youre not a good liar and you know you definitely can't lie to him... But do you have a choice.

🐻 Your hesitence tells him everything he already knew.

🐻 "Now this is bad news innit, very bad news indeed poppet," "Cause see what ive been doing all these years we've been together yeah, you being mine and me being yours... Ive been looking after you, your old man - thats me yeah - 's been looking after you, plain and simple... And well, its been so long i don't know how you're gonna fair without me?"

🐻 He'll get you to stay by making you doubt yourself, he's always babied you and now hes going to remind you that you really are his little girl. That you need him to help you with everything, you won't survive without him. Who will do all the thinking for you? Make the difficult decisions? Who's going to defend you against all those bad men out there that want to hurt you?

🐻 "So these rumours right? Are they true?" this time you dont hesitate, you shake your head and say no, you dont want to leave him you want to stay with him forever...

🐻 He welcomes you into his lap, pats his knee says "well, thats alright then ain't it, come here poppet, come sit in your old mans lap yeah?" he strokes your hair and holds you and keeps talking to you about how he takes care of you.

🐻 You reach down, trying to be subtle you want to see if the gun is in his drawer, if he was going to use it on you. But he catches your little hand in his raises it to his mouth and kissing your fingers one by one whilst hes talking to you.

🐻 "Did you think that's what id brought you in here for poppet? You think your old man was gonna offer you a deal or death?" you shake your head but youre lying again and this time he questions for a second if he went too far... He did want you to think he might do that...

🐻 But he never actually would... Wouldnt every hurt you like that... Alfies toxic behaviors stem from him being possessive and too protective, he only holds on so tight to you to try and protect you from every threat he percieves. Why would he kill the thing that means the most to him.

Arthur

🍂 He knows he has problems... Well, he's aware of most of them

🍂 He knows his temper is bad. Hes convinced that he's a monster. If you start to believe you are something hard enough you'll start behaving like it. He thinks hes a monster, hes convinced hes going to lose you

🍂 Whether he actually is or not.

🍂But he doesn't realise, that believing you to be the only thing thats good in this world, is a problem too. That thinking youre the only one who can save him, that without you he's doomed to hell...

🍂 Thats what starts to worry you, how hes always telling you youre his ticket to heaven... But his temper and his jealousy, the rages he throws himself into when he thinks someone else has looked at you or flirted with you... They're the things that make you certain you have to leave.

🍂 Its only a matter of time before someone gets killed because of his complete obsession with you, so you try to leave.

🍂 You dont want to hurt him though, despite his rages, his violent outbursts you see him for what you believe him to really be. A wounded man who is hurting, a man who is capable of love but gets so overwhelmed by it it starts eating him alive like black rot.

🍂 So you try to break it to him gently. You tell him you love him but you have to go, its too much, too intense. You make the mistake of telling him he scares you

🍂 "Alright love you listen to me now... This is whats going to happen yeah... You are going to go upstairs now yeah, youre going to unpack your things, put em all back where they belong and then you're going to come back down here and youre going to apologise to me for fucking scaring me alright?"

🍂 He doesnt say it calmly either, he has that low, threatening anger, you can see how hard hes trying to hold it together but hes shaking with rage, you can see it bubbling up behind his eyes.

🍂 You try to be brave, you try to say, "no arthur, thats not how its going to be this..."

🍂 Thats when he loses it, "Alright?" he raises his voice getting louder, "I said fucking alright y/n? Did you hear me?"

🍂 He might get physical, he won't attack you, but that switch will flip in his brain, triggered by how scared he is to lose you... And you'll definitely be scared that he might really hurt you

🍂 He'll probably grab you too roughly, perhaps trap you against the wall. Hand gripping your throat tight enough to leave a mark.

🍂 If he hurts you hes going to feel bad about it, full of guilt later. He'll apologise to you, tell you it won't happen again, he'll probably tell you he knows youre scared of him, hes a monster, you and fuckin everyone else is scared of him these days...

🍂 You'll stay because he scares you. But also because you are convinced that maybe underneath it all there is good in him, you can change him...

🍂 But he won't change.

🍂 He can't change. He doesnt know why he feels everything so intensely but he does, he feels his love for you like bullets ripping through his body. He wouldn't be able to breath if he lost you. He'd suffocate

🍂 Which is ironic because sometimes hes so overzealous with his love, so possesive, always touching you in public, behaving inappropriately at parties and in front of other people. Squeezing you, rubbing your thigh, your arse... Can't keep his hands off you... That it feels like hes suffocating you with his love.

🍂 If he isnt following you everywhere personally, hes got peaky boys watching over you at all times.

John

🌼 Doesnt know that he has problems, thinks this level of adoration and love combined with this level of fear of your leaving, is normal... Its just the nature of your relationship, because he lives in such a dangerous world, its natural to fear you could be snatched from him at any moment. So he doesn't realise theres anything wrong with his attachment to you

🌼 He wont believe you, he'll probably crack a grin and say "what was that flower?" when you don't answer though, when he looks and sees the tears in your eyes he'll shout, "fuckin what was that y/n?"

🌼 He has tears in his eyes, you cant tell if hes really going to cry or not...

🌼 Hes far too invested in your relationship its like his whole life depends on it... That the second you tell him you've had enough, of his fighting and drinking, the crime, the violence, the worrying he ain't gonna make it home to you... The second you quite fairly point out that it isn't fair on you, he hits breaking point.

🌼 0 to 100.

🌼 At first he can't believe it, then hes devestated, then hes angry. And the emotions hit him at 100mph

🌼He doesnt understand why you want to go? He believes the two of you are perfect, that youre the perfect example of when opposites attract, that your good balances out his bad...

🌼 So you try to explain it to him, you can see he's upset so you try to be kind... Try to tell him theres no balance... But his emotions are all over the place and he keeps flipping between crying and heartbroken to white heat anger

🌼 "You wanna talk about fuckin balance love?"

🌼 He takes his gun out, turns it on you, then himself then back to you. "Find the balance now eh... We're on a fucking seesaw now y/n and one of us has got to go yeah, me or you?"

🌼 You have to talk him down from his rage, but its hard, you're holding back tears, trying not to show how scared you are but seeing him point the trigger at himself it makes you realise how devestated you would be to lose him

🌼 And that must mean you love him right? You always knew you did love him, never questioned your love for him... Just whether or not it was good love.

🌼 Youre not stupid, you know this isnt good love but... Its the only love youve got and you do love him...

🌼 So you talk calmly, approach him slowly, youre trembling and when you get to him theres a moment where hes still pointing the gun at you... Hes tears on his cheeks and hes shaking too.

🌼 "John love, sweetheart please don't do this i love you Im sorry i love you..."

🌼 You end up crying together on the kitchen floor, him holding onto you so tight.

🌼 He makes sure in future to be extra sweet to you, he buys you a locket with a photo of him in it, on the back "my love" is engraved. Its beautiful. He tells you to wear it everyday. Never to take it off.

🌼He will also use sex to keeo you his, making you feel good and reminding you that hes the only man who could make you feel that good.

Bonnie

🍀 Doesn't really know that hes as bad as he is... Hes just protective, some would call him possesive too but all he thinks is that hes protecting what is his.

🍀 He knows he shouldn't like the fact that youre physically much weaker than him as much as he does but he brushes it off as just something that attracts him to you... Everyone likes different things and he likes you.

🍀 If you realise he's a little too possessive, if you work out the fact that he never actually leaves you on your own, that even when you go for walks you feel like someones following you, that you see him waiting across the street from you in town, always watching you (he'd say watching over you, making sure hes there near by if you need him)

🍀 Then you might decide you want to leave.

🍀And Bonnie does have a very strong moral code, he has certain views about relationships and women that hes stubborn about.

🍀 He wont hurt you, he wont physically stop you, won't even threaten you... Because he knows that isnt how you treat women... Even when they're scaring the shit out of you threatening to break your fucking heart

🍀He'll look sad when you tell him, when you tell him he scares you when he follows you, that youre scared to be with him

🍀He apologises, tells you he does it cause he cares about you, because he loves you, hes so sweet about it, so apologetic that you know he really is sorry he scares you...

🍀 He promises you he'll change... And he tries a little, not very hard because theres some changes he doesn't think it would be very smart to use make...

🍀So in the end he doesnt change at all, he still follows you, still lingers around you all the time, watching you with those intense eyes. Its like hes waiting for something bad to happen to you...

🍀He probably uses his peaky boy status to scare other lads away from you, hes scared of losing you to someone else so whenever he sees another man near he intervenes, either by coming up to you, holding your hand, putting his arm around you, kissing you in front of them, marks his territory or, by threatening them later when youre gone.

🍀Hes always finding an excuse to give you his clothes to wear, he likes it when you wear his coat. Feels like hes keeping you safe, but also it shows everyone that youre his.

🍀 You think Bonnies sweet, that he really is only trying his best to keep you safe.

🍀When things get rough, when he thinks you're becoming distant, he'll take you off into the wildlands where the two of you can be alone together for as long as it takes to win you over.

🍀And when you do say you'll give him another chance he's ever so sweet and good to you, smothers you with affection. He does make you feel loved, even if at times it is intense and scary.

Isaiah

🐀Hes jealous and he has a temper.

🐀The temper is usually reserved for people he percieves to threaten the happiness of you and him.

🐀You're his prize to defend and hes convinced hes always going to be fighting people to keep you. Thinks everyone wants a piece of his girl

🐀When you tire of the constant convincing him youre his and only his, and you try to leave he kind of bates you?

🐀"Fucking fine y/n, fuckin leave me then.." he can pretend not to care for just long enough to make you doubt yourself, just long enough to break your heart and make you regret your decision.

🐀Thats only because thats not something that takes very long... For a number of reasons

🐀Isaiah is very good at playing the long game. When things are good he showers you with expensive gifts and spoils you sexually too, he's always giving you little reminders of how hard he works for you and the life the two of you have together. He's always reminding you that everything he does is for you.

🐀He's always leaving little marks on you two, love bites and things, marking his territory

🐀So when he switches the charm off the moment you threaten to leave it makes you question whats wrong with you, he isn't even upset, maybe you need him more than he needs you?

🐀That scares you into submission pretty quickly and when you shake your head, change your mind and begin to cry, he'll change again, tell you not to cry, not to be upset.

🐀"Don't cry sweetheart, not your fault, i know you get a little bit confused sometimes, such strong, scary emotions must muddle that pretty little head of yours right up," he's good at babying you, talking down to you to remind you that without him you couldn't survive on your own.

🐀Will start kissing you, touching you, carressing you, teasing you until he has you undressed for him, he'll drive you crazy the way only he can and when he's fucking you into submission he'll remind you that hes the only one who can make you feel that way. Hes the only one youll ever be able to feel so good with. You need him.

🐀Buys you pretty jewellery, expensive gifts, takes you out to expensive bars and spoils you, buys you things you'll never want to part with.

Michael

☘️ Is obsessed with you, with the idea of owning you. Youre the pretty thing he wants to show off to the rest of the world, he wants to see you thrive because it will make him feel good about himself. Knowing his girl is the best there is. That shes all his.

☘️Because of this he invests so much time and money into you, you get music lessons, art lessons, you get libraries of books and youre spoilt but controlled too.

☘️ Michael controls everything about your life, from what you wear to how you spend every second of every day. He wants what's best for you. Thats all hes thinking about.

☘️Is pissed that you'd want to leave, not just pissed but insulted... He knows hes possesive and controlling and he knows he cam be cold sometimes but

☘️ "Everything you've got y/n, I've given you... Everything i own i share it with you.. Everything I've worked for its for us... Together right?"

☘️ Threatens you, not with physical violence but instead threatens to take everything from you.

☘️ "if I'm going to fucking lose you y/n then youre going to lose everything?" youre everything to him so it seems fair that you should lose everything if you walk away from him

☘️He'll dazzle you with all the fancy gifts hes brought you over the years, he'll stand behind you in the mirror, let his fingers trail the silk dress he chose for you, that he paid for... He'll kiss your neck just above the string of pearls you wear doubled around your neck

☘️ And then he'll tug them, the necklace tightens around your neck... Almost... Almost enough to actually choke you

☘️ You'll lose everything y/n... Your connections, the family will cut you off... We can leave you behind, forget we ever knew your name, but you can't leave us... People will always know you as my wife... Bad men will still try to use you to get to me..." "But if youre not mine anymore i wont protect you, ill let them have you wont i... Cause you wont be part of the family anymore and i wont know you... Wont know who you are..."

☘️ These kind of threats are as scary as anything threat of physical violence could be. You know michael really means it when he says these things. He's a cold man. Capable of cutting you off.

☘️"No second chances y/n if you want to leave then leave, but there'll be no second chances..."

☘️And maybe you could be fine on your own, maybe you could start fresh, somewhere no one knows your name... But is it really worth the risk...

☘️ "Or you can stay, you can apologise to me for being so ungrateful, and then I'll forgive you and we'll go back to happily ever after.." "Just like that?". "Yes love, just like that"

Idk if i did these right sorryy bestie, i hope you liked them though!!!

#peaky blinders imagines #bonnie gold x reader #tommy shelby x reader #arthur shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #peaky blinders headcanon #look at me giving advice #peaky blinders imagine #alfie solomons x reader #peaky blinders #dark!tommy shelby x reader #Dark! Peaky blinders

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 11 days

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acacia and grayson head canons

@never-enough-novels requested this so here it is! it might be short bc im so tired but we'll see. this is also my only hcs post today. i think that after im done with my current requests i'll take a break for a few days. i really apologize if these suck. hope you like them <3. @ariscats helped with this. i love her sm. I apologize for any spelling mistakes or things that dont make sense. im too lazy to proof read.

she insists on giving him a hug whenever they leave the other even though he tries to act tough (tries to act like he doesn't want one)

she'll buy him suits she thinks he'd like whenever she's out and either ships them or shows up at his house with them wrapped in gift paper.

they'll sit on the floor and look at old pictures of savannah and gigi in these picture books that acacia has.

acacia ends up creating a separate picture book for grayson (and also has one with the three (sav, gigi, and gray) of them all together - 3 picture books in total)

when acacia first met skye, she 'accidently' poured wine all over skye's white dress cause acacia knows she’s a horrible mother to gray.

acacia asks grayson for fashion advice whenever she doesn't know what to wear. she'll send him pics of options she has to wear and he'll reply with comments for each and everyone of them (like dress #1- this color doesn't match your skin tone as well as the others. dress #2 - this dress is not suitable for winter, etc)

she majored in art when she was in school, she didn't really do anything with her degree but, when grayson shows up, starts trying to teach him all of the things she knows. he already knows how to paint but doesn't say anything so that he can spend time with her.

acacia calls him under the pretense of having a favor to ask, but, in reality, she just wants to make sure he's ok and doesn't want to scare him away by just calling to ask about his feelings.

he spends some time at the graysons manor every year. he and acacia like to just stay quiet and observe the nature/read/paint together

acacia and grayson will go out on nature walks where he takes pictures with his camera and she paints those pictures (she's very talented and the paintings look very realistic)

acacia goes to his graduation (harvard. she helps him decide do go back)

nash calls acacia whenever gray gets sick so that she can come over to hawthorne house and take care of him (cause he can't take care of himself. he always ends up overworking himself and shit). she makes him soup, gets all of the medications he needs, etc (i also hc that she's literally a miracle worker when someone is sick. she can literally make them better with her concoctions in a matter of hours)

when grayson sits down to play the piano, sometimes acacia will appear out of nowhere, sit down next to him, and sway to the music. gray got more confident over time and started singing sometimes too. she'd harmonize with him and shit. basically, its really beautiful.

they love watching historical romances together. they've watched so many that whenever they greet each other, gray will bow down and kiss her hand like all of those men in fictional historical tv shows.

grayson went out to buy acacia skincare at some point in time bc he once saw her bathroom (and thus the products she uses) and he was so horrified he gasped. he made her promise to never use that shit again.

acacia loves birkin bags so grayson gets her one every year for her birthday

when acacia goes on business trips (idk why though cause she has no money but she takes trips in my head), she always buys a pen from the country she's in to give to gray so he can add it to his collection.

speaking of her business trips, grayson stays at her house when she’s gone to water her plants (she loves them).

when they paint/read/take walks in silence, they either listen to laufey or taylor swift.

grayson is really big on labeling things. he labels his binders, notebooks, pens, clothes etc and sometimes acacia sits there with him creating labels for him. (20)

whenever they watch tv, grayson cuddles up in acacia’s arms. no one says a thing, and it stays between them

grayson secretly paints acacia sometimes when she isn’t watching (or so he thinks).

I mentioned earlier that acacia loves plants and flowers. grayson would totally go out, buy tons of different kinds of flowers, and make her custom made bouquets.

although she’s not his mother, grayson still buys her a mother’s day gift (a bouquet of flowers, and smth else (that changes every year) like some new paint, perfume, etc)

they wanted to start learning smth together as a bonding activity of sorts so they got into pottery. they watched videos (cause they didn’t want to get a teacher/attend classes) and practiced as often as they could together. they would laugh at each other in the end cause clay would end up everywhere. they’re now quite good at it and make each other little things every now and then

they are huge fans of listening to music the ‘old’ way. whenever they listen to music, they listen to vinyls or cassettes.

whenever they see each other, they go out and buy themselves bubble tea.

speaking of bubble tea, sometimes acacia will take some of the remaining bubbles (she never eats/drinks all of them) and throws them at grayson to loosen him up a bit. he does the same sometimes and they have what they call ‘bubble tea fights’.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #libby grambs #acacia grayson #savannah grayson #gigi grayson

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sulfies · 1 month

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can you spill more abt that self insert of yours? 👁️👁️

Oh boy oh boy can I? (big yapping incoming) (typo and grammar massaccare of 2024)

He is a self insert OC Assassin from the Ottoman brotherhood (bc Im Turkish) and he is 23 (bc I am)

not a secret mentor or anything lol I was just joking in the first post making a mary sue.

I imagine he is similar or one above than whatever Yusuf’s rank is (I have yet to play Revelations :,p ) tho I do not know what time he should be in, Realistically if no time travel happened he would be in same time as Yusuf but I dont want Gilf Ezio (sorry) but if its Ezio, Alt and Desmon togather timeline probobly he is in around AC2 Brotherhood time. (maybe he came by Italy to do a mission and dropped by the hideout)

He is ethnically Balkan or/and Greek (bc I am) which probobly means he was taken to Constantinople as a teen or kid to eighter be sent to Jenniserrie training or the male-harem.

Small history lesson:

- Devşirme was the name of the practice where Ottoman empire basically enslaved young Greek,Balkan,Ukranian,etc etc boys and inserted them into an Elite military (Janniserries) even the Sultans themselves were scared of bc they were known to start coups and kill Sultans(they got a salary and are socially above the commonfolk but… military slaves non the less)

-Male-harems existed, again Balkan, Romanian, Slavic and greek etc people were often the main people in the harems (fun fact nearly no Sultan is Turkish due to this lmao they are all mixed), once again their status were above the common folk and they were well taken care of (the older males could even become gov officals after) but slavery non the less.

Idk if I want him to escape the harem or Jenniserrie for his edgy backgrund but maybe he did few years of training, cought the eye of the Sultan and escaped the moment someone was like “you have been promoted to an elite employeeee, u won harem lotterry” . Probobly wandered the streets a bit, got into hella fights till an Assassin picked him up escaping a group of soliders. Maybe it was an older dude who saw him when they were both in training

He is basically based off my own ethnicity and its context to the time and sociatal goings of that era lol (which was hella gay… very gay… too gay almost)

He probobly has some traditional slavic leg,hand and arm tattoos (bc I have em but also) mostly bc around those times (nearly always women) used to tattoo themselves in those motifs to remember their christian roots and their culture (that Ottoman tried to erease) and also to make themselves less appealing to Ottoman Harem/ Devşirme recuiters :,D

For his name, Maybe to be on the nose… Adem? (Turkish ver of Adam) so he is tied to the apples in a fun way? Or Poyraz (means a northern wind) since the meaning is similar to my own name?

He doesnt grow much facial hair (bc I am also stuck w a weak beard) but he refuses to get rid of it no matter how much others tease him bc he is like “I aint getting courted by random crazy men ew” (I dont irl also bc I desperetly believe it looks good…I refuse to open my eyes)

History lesson 2:

-facial hair was important in Ottoman times, It LİTTERALLY determined your gender and how you were approached.

-Socially and in Litriture Ottoman almost had 3 gender roles; Men, Boys (Oğlan) and Women. Once a man grew a beard he would “transition” from being a boy.

-Romantically having a beard versus not determined if you were to be courted or court. Bearded man were called “Lovers” while NON-bearded were called “Beloveds” (yes more often the boys were underage :/ for the sake of history lesson lets…. try to ignore that like ancient greeks)

there is many gay ass poems ^

He got all the mentall illness coctails that I got bc why not make it worse fr him. I imagine him sarcastic and catty, Claudia prob loves taking him to shop around bc he always got something to fckn say about everyone. Big gossipper. Hides the fact that he hates being as short as he is very well (im like… 165? 5’5-4?). If in Yusuf time, nearly BFFS (if im not inserting myself into the throuple (bc Its my self insert and I CAN BE AS CRINGY AS I WANT) he would end up w Yusuf)

Him about others:

Ezio: will never stop calling him de la la la,likes him a lot, loves pranking and teasing him. Enjoys fake flirting with him till he takes it so far Ezio has to throw in the towel. Probobly teached him how to Oil wrestle and Ezio was like “Are you sure this is a real sport…” and all he did was sigh and say “I am so glad it actually is” as he admired Oiled up Ezio

Altaïr: loves mocking whatever big words he uses all the time. calls him “Big boss” just to see his eye twitch with cringe. Knows he can get away with shit if he acts stupid enough. Altair knows he is not that stupid but is impressed(deragotory, fondly) how low he is willing to go.

Desmond: clearly his favorite (im biased sue me) obvious by how much softer he acts around Des. Ezİo falls he laughs, Des falls “My leige, hop on my back”. Is facinated by his piercings and begs him to help him get some. Desmond desperetly wishes he could invent some ADHD Meds for him. Des also finds him strangely comforting, can imagine himself back in 2010s almost…

————-

Idk im not rlly a self insert person so thinking about him was hard and I also dont wanna make my oc “the main character” in this au so I dont really wanna give him any secret powers or anything.

Maybe some edgy gnarly scars on his back from a past mission where he came in contact with an apple? Maybe when he touched the apple he was supplied that canonly he doesnt exist and he is just a fan created being and has a whole issue about it? I can imagine a sad scene of him crying like “You dont understand, You exist! even as some damn video game you do and people know you they cannot deny you exist. ME? all I am is some weirdos self writing, not even enough to be in canon. Does anything I do matter?” lololol

Thats all I got for him for now lol but feel free to ask more:p Im also open to ideas for him.

sorry for the yapping and history lesson… here is some more fun facts:

-Oğlancılık (male prostitution) was pretty respected they were seen like any other tradesperson in some parts

-a Paşa tried to ban under 30 males from being washers in Turkish Hamams due to them also being sex workers and litterally everyone was so mad he got replaced

-dancers in coffeehouses wore the same fit no matter the gender so boys and girls looked the same (once again they were also sex workers)

-one time a jewish boy caused such a big fight between janniserries the sultan had to threathen to kill 40 man from each side if they didnt stop

-Draculas are real people and RADU the beutyfull (his OFFİCİAL NAME) had a full on recorded relationship with Sultan Mehmet2 :p

- Gay shit was legalized in 1853 mostly bc they never rlly punished it….

for the girlies

-in harems the girls couldnt order things like cucumbers or carrots to their rooms w out it being cut up :p

#art #oc #sorry for the lenghty yapping #I wasnt lying when I said I have written pages upon pages on this lmoa #more than about my oc this became about the ottoman empire #once I Get to revelations I will be insufferable I fear #yusuf tazim #asks #ignore typos and bad grammar as always I beg

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koyunsoncizeri · 1 year

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WTF is going on in Turkey, and why this is the MOST screwed up time in 10 or so years? Especially for LGBT young and Women.

-Long post-

TW: mentions of r*pe/ s**ual harassment/women being force-married, losing rights.

This will be a heavy post so please scroll down if you are affected, i know I was, i cried myself to sleep yesterday but I need to get this out.

As you may or may not know, yesterday we held a second election (as in the first one none of the candidates reached over %50) and we, women, lgbti people, all of Turkey lost.

What do I mean by this?

There were 2 main people. One whose name i will not even utter here, as you know him since he is the prime minister for more than 20 years, and the leader of the opposition party. They each had parties under them, supporting different ideas. The oppositon party we all hoped would win (CHP) lost, the votes were nearly divided into two.

The winners..have .. Some.. things they want to implement. But before I get into that, what does their mere win mean for us?

What has been going around that has been powered and will increase by their win? Let us take a look:

But there is, unfortunately, more:

And the final straw that made me SICK to my stomach so much so that I near threw up:

So.

This is what we have been dealing with for the last couple 4 5 years, but these only increased in the last 2 -3 years to an alarming rate.

For the first time in my life I am scared shitless. I am SCARED shitless. I am SCARED for my life. No. Im TERRIFIED. Wish i was exaggerating. Wish I was just being extra.

MOVING ON to what they are thinking of implementing in the upcoming 5 yearz:

The law preventing "violence against women" will be done away with. (Mind you we re no longer in istanbul convention so we have had already near 0 protection)

Girls and boys will be separeted in schools.

The word "Turk" will be done away with in all const. and places. (..We are Turks)

Quran should be taught early, starting at age 7 and in all schools.

Women should only work among women

Single women should be "homed" (which is ..they should be married off to someond)

(mentions of) women not being equal to men when it comes to inheritance

And many more, more disturbing things i cannot even write. Just know that ..im scared to write everything :)

This is where I am rn.

Today i woke up and felt ..nothing. didnt wanna eat anything, do anything. Cant even watch Gargoyles my latest obsession.

All i am thinking about, how will I go to hospital to get my weekly shots, walking among people im scared of.

I dont know dudes. I really dont know. You know we opened a group to share info about how to seek asylum? :)

Sigh, my dudes. I love my country, i dont want it to be turned into Pakistna or whatever (please dont come at me for saying this, just search the news and u will see)

I was trynna get away from my abusive fam and now i cant even go to another city feelin good about it.

LASTLY

Ataturk fought so hard to get women from under the feet of sharia and men, we were one of the first women to have the right to vote.

Our pilot, Sabiha Gokcen is the first female fighter pilot. (Not to be confused with First combat pilot, Marie Marvingt)

She was selected as the only female pilot for the poster of "The 20 Greatest Aviators in History" published by the United States Airforce in 1996.

We attended beauty contests, after years of being forced to wear hijab and whatnot, and now. We are going back to square 1.

I'm .. trying to be hopeful. But it's getting harder my dudes.

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dyketubbo · 3 months

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deleted a few posts mostly because after thinking about it some more i do still think that theres a focus from many of these creators on having a sort of clapback response where they denounce wilbur but dont actively support shubble (i dont know if shubble is fine with people who arent her friends using her actual name so im just saying shubble) and while its good to denounce wilbur i dont think they should be praised when they havent put in the effort to publically show support to shubble.

at the same time, shubble is clearly touched by the responses and they clearly feel supported by their friends who had also, on a surface level to us, seemed to just be responding to wilbur without uplifting shubble. i do think theres a need to stay critical. some of these creators do very likely care more about dunking on the abuser than they do actively supporting the victim and making sure you dont fall into blindly supporting anyone who can make a snappy comeback is good

at the same time being critical means realizing theres a lot more to this than "anyone who waited for wilbur to say something must not have believed shubble and mustve been complicit" considering responses like billzos and sophies, as well as shubble themself saying that "not wanting to" is not why she didnt name wilbur. billzo admits to being scared of wilbur. sophie said wilbur made her feel small. theres clips of wilbur hurting and scaring his friends and making light of how he does so

a part of what sophie talked about was how wilbur would make light of how he abused her. he wasnt worried that he was hurting her, and he even pointed out that it looked like abuse. shubbles incredibly brave for speaking up. but that doesnt mean anyone else who didnt until now was complicit.

a lot of wilburs "jokes" look worse in retrospect because.. thats what happens when you go through abuse, or when you have a shitty friend. you start to realize more and more how they were hurting you and got away with it because they shrugged it off either as a joke or just as part of who they are (shubble actively pointed out that wilbur would dismiss his behavior as "just who he is")

those who just want to get a dunk in shouldnt be praised. those who really do stay quiet or do the bare minimum should be scrutinized. always keep an eye out for suspicious behavior no matter where you go. lexie talked about her own abuse within that circle of creators and the very fact that there were two people being abused within the same circle is horrible. but keep an eye out for any creator. keep an eye out within any community, even your own. its not just the men in brighton. its not just minecraft creators. abusers and toxic friends are everywhere, and silence can be complacency but it can also be fear

dont blame yourself if you didnt see the signs before. but take it as a sign to keep an eye out. and remember we cant see everything behind the scenes. you never really know everything going on. its getting increasingly clear that wilbur mistreated a lot of people in his life and like. idk im making an emotional post because this shit sucks a lot and like weve said before this is a topic very personal to us as an abuse victim and one whose had many toxic friends

shubble feels supported. she has a community and ultimately it is still amazing to see how many people are denouncing wilbur and its amazing to see the people who do show support to shubble herself. support for lexie is slowly but surely getting there as well. i think this is a sign that while horrible things will always happen that the community is slowly but surely getting better at responding. and i hope anyone else who was scared of or mistreated by wilbur is able to think back on that and realize it was awful and find their peace as well.

i think its good to be critical to anyone who may have genuinely been complacent, especially those like phil and tommy and even quackity who have been extremely close to wilbur and as of writing from what i know have yet to publically respond. but i dont think there should be a place for outright cynicism and accusing everyone who didnt speak until now of secretly being complicit. theres more to it than that. theres always more to it than that

#not rebloggable bc its a long and scrambled post and i dont want to invite people to get pissed at me #for going back on immediately going banned banned none of you are free of sin about every mc cc #ykwim #mask mews #idk. i got abused within a group of friends #and it was acknowledged within the group. but many of the others in the group were also being abused or otherwise mistreated #one of the abusers irls later contacted us to say he started getting worse towards them as well #i would never want to accuse anyone who wasnt able to properly defend me during that time of being complicit #i of all people obviously understand why they were scared. why they didnt stand up for me until later #sometimes it really does take a while to properly comprehend just how bad it was. for you and for others

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my-castles-crumbling · 4 months

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Dancer anon advice

Hi all! Someone wrote me about some advice, I'm just copy and pasting it here so I can add a 'read more' line and format it a bit differently than usual so I can keep my thoughts in order!

Italics is their writing

Bold is mine

i noticed ppl were using this blog to ask about stuff, so here goes ig?

(also im sorry this was going to be me asking about gender stuff but now its just kinda my life story 😭 if you dont want to answer this, you can just write a post saying like. dancer anon i dont feel comfortable answering this or whatever)

Ahhhh, you all need to stop apologizing! I never mind helping!

im afab, and i feel like i never really fit in with gender? like, i would always be so jealous of my feminine friends but i didnt feel good when dressing feminine myself

i also take dance classes (i started at around 6/7) and i felt like i had to wear all the skirts and shit because i wanted to be pretty like the other dancers, and i felt really terrible after a few years of that, because i hated how i looked in them and how i looked when i danced

(i also used to have a dance teacher whos hands were always cold and thats all i can remember about him but i really hated dancing with him and would get relieved when classes were over. ive hated dancing with boys/men ever since)

and it got like. really bad. i believe? (my memory is actually terrible. i cant remember anything for the life of me, so it could be my mind overexaggerating, but anyways.)

i would always ask for me and my teacher to just do stretching because i hated how i looked when i danced because i hated the skirts and everything because i hate my legs and how they look when bare. i hated attending dance classes because people would see me and see my legs and see how i looked and i felt terrible all the time (i think i was around 9 or 10 at this age?)

so one day i had a whole crying fit and my dance teacher told me that i dont have to wear skirts or whatever, i can wear pants and shit (i was so fucking relieved. istg. i now wear skirts to dance only like. couple times a year maybe)

and then soon enough covid happened! (also keep in mind that i grew up like. really sheltered. i did not know what gay people/transgender people were until i read fanfiction about warrior cats 😭)

and i was so delighted! because on distance learning, no one would see me and be able to judge me for how i dress or whatever

at around this time, my fear of everyone masculine really grew. its still there. im fucking terrified of all men. i cant help it. like every boy man masculine person. i get so scared. i hate it. i hate it so much

but then covid came to a halt, yk, school started again .-. i felt like shit, honestly. i didnt have ANY clothes i felt comfortable in. my hair felt too long and "feminine" and i wanted to cut it for the longest time. my clothes made me feel terrible. i hated how the leggings would wear on my legs and how my sweaters would show my body shape and how my butt looked (i still really hate how it looks. why is it big. i dont want it to be i hate it so much)

yeah so there i am, feeling dysphoric as shit (i did not know what that was, back then, by the way, but i believe thats what i was feeling)

didnt help that my only friend was a toxic, lying, manipulating bitch who led people on for fun and always expected everyone to worship at her feet

after a while, i discovered different labels! (bisexual was the first label i had for myself. i felt good with it, ig?)

and then i got to the gender situation. i used so many girl alligned terms because i was so scared of being percieved as the very thing i am terrified of (masculine ppl). i went through demigirl, girlflux, genderfae, genderfluid, i beleive, maybe somethign else too, because i wanted to stay connected to being a girl.

Okay so here, I want to ask, what's the reason to wanting to say connected with being a girl? Is it feeling like you are partially a girl? Not wanting to be connected to masculinity? Not wanting to let go of the 'girlhood' that you grew up with? None of these reasons are bad but I think thinking about this more might help you figure out your gender.

around this time i started doing leader steps for dance. the euphoria i felt. please.

ahhhhh wait! I do ballroom, too! I'm a follower, though. what's your favorite? I LOVE tango. Okay, sorry, I got distracted.

found out i was a lesbian, used nonbinary but with she/they pronouns and felt like shit whenever anyone called me she but didnt want to make a big deal about using they

ooo, okay here- asking for your correct pronouns isn't 'making a big deal.' it's asking for what you need and asking for respect.

found out i was aroace because "people actually find video game characters attractive?" 😭

thought i might feel better as a boy? cut my hair. i loved it so much (i still do) (that was may of last year) got baggy clothes. covered up my figure. did leader steps for dance.

over the summer i started using labels such as agender? which i feel like fits me?

anyway, thats the life story part, now for the part about what the fuck am i

i feel like shit whenever im called a girl or refered to with feminine terms. im not sure if it would classify as dysphoria or not, becuase i dont feel /that/ bad about it, but it still ruins my mood and kinda makes me want to cry.

okay so here's the thing. not 'feeling THAT bad' doesn't mean anything. Dysphoria is dysphoria. and this is dysphoria. Just because you're not throwing up in a corner doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid.

if my grandma calles me granddaughter, girl, whatever in russian, it automatically ruins my mood. makes me feel terrible. i hate it.

i dont feel as bad when my sister calls me her sister, though, for some reason.

Okay! So for me, I hate being called a lady, but I don't mind my wife calling me her wife. Again, this is all completely valid <3

when i get called by she/her i hate it so much. i dont want to make a big deal about asking for they/them - sometimes my friends remeber, sometimes they dont.

ive never tried he pronouns, dont think i want to.

they/them pronouns dont give me that much euphoria either, its just like. ok

Okay! Have you tried neopronouns? If you're not interesting in those, it could just be that they/them is what feels best. And that's okay, too!

another thing. my friend has another nonbinary friend. she always genders them correctly, but almost never me. it makes me feel like shit, like she cares more about getting their pronouns than mine, even though i know that thats not a good mindset and shit.

*loud buzzer sound* wrong. Your friend should be gendering everyone correctly, not just some people. Good friends care about making their friends feel comfortable, and this friend is making you uncomfortable. Would you feel comfortable talking to them about it?

also, heres some more on my fear of men because who doesnt love being scared out of their wits irrationally :D

my dance teacher had to leave to go back to where she lives, so they gave me a male teacher (i tend to only have female ones.)

i would be in tears every lesson. i felt like shit. (also i hate the sound of peoples voices and he would always be talking and i hate it so much because his voice, amongst others, is one of the ones that hurts my ears the most.) i even went to my mom to ask her for a change which helped ig? my new teacher is really nice and i love her so,,, yeah

Okay, I want to stop here to say- a lot of this has to do with gender, right? But this particular response seems to be rooted in trauma. Without prying too much, I am wondering if there is something that happened with a man or masculine-presenting person or people? You do NOT have to share with me, but this might be something to explore with a trusted person in your life. I mean, there is a chance it's gender-related, but in the most loving way, there seems to be something deeper going on here.

anyway, you dont have to answer this, i was going to just ask for help with labels and feeling like theres no correct label for me (i use agender now, for simplicity, because i dont feel connected to having a gender at all)

So I guess my question is, how do you feel about the agender label? When I looked up the definition, it seems to be defined as exactly what you described- someone not having a gender at all.

Also, remember that your gender identity and expression are two different things! You can identify as agender (or any of the other things you mentioned) and still choose to dress however feels most comfortable and use whatever pronouns feel most comfortable. There are no set rules except: do what feels most genuine and comfortable!

if you do want to answer this but dont want to use this large of an ask on your blog, just call me dancer anon, i will see and understand 👍

again, sorry for dumping all of this on you

ahhhhhhh don't be sorry, you are a wonderful human!

have a wonderful day

you, too! please message me if you want to talk more! <3

#ask #asks #ask cas

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baeshijima · 2 years

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ahhhhh miss sophie, do you have manwha recommendations? and where to read them???

I don't want to read it in probably illegal sites cus I'm scared that I might get a virus ;-;

i have.... a lot....

i'll start with sites since theyre easier ;w; personally i use webtoon app, 1stkissmanga.io, and harimanga.com !! the sites are safe compared to a lot of other ones i have encountered, and in my opinion they have more variety in terms of manhwas available ^^ if needed u can use an ad-blocker but i havent really encountered a pop-up but i would recommend it just in case !! webtoon is pretty self explanatory but they dont have as much variety since the stuff is posted directly there !!

for recs, i will start with the ones i love and always go back to on webtoon :D

leveling up my husband to the max

act like you love me!

happily ever afterwards

omniscient reader

my younger brother's friend

the first night with the duke

tricked into becoming the heroine's stepmother

from a knight to a lady

the remarried empress

my irresistible ex

your throne

men of the harem

wished you were dead

sixth sense kiss

there's a mix of genres here, but primarily romance bc thats all i read JGHBKS (tho omniscient reader is action but in my top manhwas ~~)

now onto the super long list of my favs u can find on other sites/the sites i mentioned earlier :DD

the abandoned empress

beware the villainess

survive as the hero's wife

dr elise: the royal lady with the lamp

a villainess is a good match for a tyrant

the reason why raeliana ended up at the duke's mansion (they recently announced an anime adaptation for this and hhhh im so excited ><)

who made me a princess

business proposal (it has a kdrama which a lot of ppl know it for, but personally i prefer the manhwa ;w;)

father, i don't want to get married!

the way to protect the female lead's brother

the villainess reverses the hourglass

inso's law

death is the only ending for the villainess

kill the villainess

a way to protect the lovable you

how to get my husband on my side

i'm stanning the prince

i tamed a tyrant and ran away

a false confession

the princess imprints a traitor

charlotte has five disciples

actually, i am the real one

becoming the villain's family

i became the wife of the male lead

a stepmother's marchen

today, the villainess has fun again

if you touch my brother and you're all dead

the strongest characters in the world are obsessed with me

the villainess is a marrionette

i found a husband when i picked up the male lead

how to hide the emperor's child

princess' doll shop

a tyrant's only perfumer

a symbiotic relationship between a rabbit and a black panther

i became the male lead's mother

i'm only a stepmother, but my daughter is just so cute!

my in-laws are obsessed with me

the bad ending of an otome game

untouchable lady

the lady wants to rest

my husband hides his beauty

the villainess needs a tyrant

limited-time extra

i didn't mean to seduce the male lead

i will take responsibility for the welfare of the male lead

#omg a convo !?#mutuals !!#this took so long to compile #but also the list order theyre all in doesnt connote to how much i favour them !!#i mainly followed the order i wrote in a server to get those ones down and then added the recent ones ive read after khdjl

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roseriot2191 · 9 months

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Entry 1/Introductions

hey!

so i really havent used tumblr before really so im not sure if this is the best place for what im doing but regardless im posting it here

~welcome to my blog~

the purpose is to document my life as a whole but its also my senior year so even more reason to record it!

this blog will be my safe space to spill anything, the good and the bad, of my upcoming life. in all honesty im not sure how well ill keep up with posts or how much effort ill end up putting into them but i will try to update at least once a week for sure.

ok so now onto me :)

hello again! im rose, i use he/they pronouns and i am 17. for anyone wonder, which i dont know why but i guess i can just state it to get it out of the way, im a cis queer guy. i use queer as my label because i very much dislike labels for myself lmao. im attracted to men way more often than not but if the right person for me isnt a guy the im not going to let gender/sex get in the way of love and im not sure pansexual really fits the way i feel. queerness ill say is a part of me but not something i identify with as much as i did in middle school. ill make a separate post about this perhaps. (ill mention that my name isnt actually rose irl and its just my pen name for the blog. i have no reason to be secretive really besides to hide my identity from friends, family and people who think they might know me, especially with the topics i might write about, but also i didnt put too much effort into disconnection rose and myself so if youre one of my irl friends, hi :p ) i am a high school student, but i am mostly taking college classes at a community college. im a photo major! photography is a recent thing that i started basically the same time i started college. i sorta took a leap into photo classes and decided that i might as well major in it since ive always been a creative person and since my high school was paying for my tuition. honestly college has been really fun but its school and sometimes i get burnt out really easily which sucks. ill probably talk about this more some other time. i havent really decided on a style of photography that i prefer yet but this fall ill start a portraiture lighting class as well as a color theory class, both im really excited for.

recently ive found myself changing or perhaps growing into a more typical "teenager" recently. this growth is a drastic change from who i was as a kid and that sort of scares me but i think i like the idea of who i can become. i started taking an interest in cars which sort of came out of know where. it might be because i got my license last december and have been driving a lot more but its also rooted in my ex too. (at the begging of this summer i got into a relationship with this guy who was my first everything, and we also ended it in july which hurt hella but again this is a topic for another post later) he was a total car guy and it was something we were bonding over. he would teach/talk about cars and i listened and started to take an actual interest. we went to a few car shows and it was honestly a prefect date/hangout for us because he liked cars of course but i also got to bring my camera and take photos. definitely something i miss doing. my first car was a 2004 honda pilot. it was a manual and i tried learning how to drive it and i got the gist but ended up selling it and getting an automatic 2006 honda pilot lol. this car ive had since february and its lowkey dying now which pisses me. my grandpa was the one who ended up buying it for me which i appreciate very much dont get me wrong but he bought it off these sketchy guys and didnt get it checked out right away for any problems and now im paying extra money in repairs. currently im trying to save for something more "extra" like a mustang or a bmw or honestly an older honda like a prelude or accord, though on my salary as a host in a small restaurant i have barely $4.5k saved and i started work about the same time i got the 06 pilot. i know these cars are a bit on the pricey side but im giving myself till new years to save for something and if i dont find anything by then, ill keep my money in savings for college after i graduate. (that is with the hopes my 06 pilot lasts me through that long :,) )

so yeah. i work as a host at a restaurant. its my first job and i honestly really like it. i get paid $16.50 an hour and i get tipped out by the waitresses on top of that. on average i make about $500 in a pay period which is two weeks. i wish i had more hours but also i dont. i usually use work as an excuse to procrastinate or completely ignore school work which is really self destructive because i convince myself that im productive but in reality i need to be more focused on school. my work ethic is pretty good though i think. i always say yes if someone needs a cover or if i need to come in ealry/on a day off. after the break up i took a bunch of extra shifts and started taking caterings for longer hours and to keep me busy. in the past 2 pay periods i clocked about 50 hours each and made $850 each. this has again been really nice for savings but not for my summer classes. this pay period i had a double catering and i should clock in about 40 ish hours. ill have one more pay period after this one before i will talk to my manager about scheduling me only friday-sunday and see about scheduling me caterings more rather than hosting since i make more that way. theyre pretty good about accommodating hours/days which is really cool but my manager always complains. i feel bad but also i really shouldnt because i need to do better in school first and i already do so much more than what i get paid for honestly so she really doesnt have any reason to say anything. (especially since we just hired 3 new girls after the summer hires left) all my coworkers love me but also everyone shit talks eachother behind their backs so i always wonder if they say anything about me lol. if they are then they should put that energy somewhere else because how are you guys gonna shit talk a 17 year old when you all are 25+???

my music taste is the opposite in regards to changing drastically. i find myself returning to the music i grew up with and even expanding with similar artists. for a quick family overview my step dad who raised me since i was three was/is a tattoo artist and very much in the punk scene. my mom was in the artistic performance and alternative scene. both these adults raised a very punk baby with all the classics and now like i said, after not really interested or listening to music often for awhile, im back to my roots. this is very comforting however when me and my ex were dating he was a big influence in the reintroduction. so do i corrilate some music to him? yes. does it hurt? im not sure. its very confusing but i listen to it on blast regardless and will most likely have hearing problems by the time im 30 T~T a lot of what ive been listening to on repeat is radiohead which was "our band" and i still think it is. im a very sentimental person and cant/wont diconnect these feelings probably ever. i do this a lot. this time though i havent had the urge to stop listening which is a reliefe because i enjoy the music but also because i think itd hurt me if i found hate or sadness in the music rather than the love and bond we once shared through these songs. something ive been considering is posting a song with every post or at the very least at the end of the week. maybe even a playlist at the end of the month? not sure yet. i think music tatse is something that changes with me all the time so its something worth recording here. oh also i def will post cd hauls here too! i have a small collection started but definetely wanna get more.

lets see i dont read often but my favorite books are alice in wonderland, the warden's daughter, they both die at the end, coraline and currently i am reading solitaire by alice oseman. ive read her heartstopper series and have taken a serious interest in tori's story. for my favorite shows i binge watch shows so often and then forget about them just as fast as i watch them lol. i really like soul eater, downtown, daria, the midnight gospel, the walking dead, initial d, madoka magica, and some others i cant think of right now.

hmm~ i cant really think about anything else to write at the moment, plus ive been typing for awhile and should get to bed, so i think ill end it here.

i dont really expect anyone to read this blog in all honesty but its something i wanna do for myself and if a few people take interest or relate to anything i talk about i think thats enough :)

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ilynpilled · 11 months

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idk if my ask got swallowed by beast that is tumblr or you ignored it so i'll just ask again: do you think ser waymar royce in the prologue is a jaime parallel? he's a commander, young and handsome, cocky and snarky, and a son to a lord, who takes a final stand against the dark and dies bravely fighting an Other with no one else but the reader knowing of his deed.

nah imo. these parallels are pretty surface level. as for the these themes present in the prologue it is not exclusive to a single pov (especially would not say jaime) like this it just permeates the series as a whole. im going from memory here but waymar royce’s whole deal to me is mostly about class/feudalism/meritocracy (more like the lack of), westerosi primogeniture, and the tragedy of young men trying to put meaning to their existence in ‘war’ when there is no place else for them, see the NW also functioning as a place to shove the many knights, lords, criminals, smallfolk etc. with no land/income/resources because nothing is distributed in a sensible way in this feudal society. courage/cowardice/gallantry is significant in the chapter too (what is brave? what is practical? what is selfish and egodriven? is dying for nothing but some personal triumph of overcoming fear like this anything but tragic? is the inherent meaning within that action enough? is it more admirable to try to live to tell the significant tale which would actually save lives? and so on)

these themes r not exclusive to jaime (he likely was not even fully realized as a character by this point anyway), and i dont even think he deals with them in the same way. i do like the idea of jaime’s heroism not being known in whatever form that takes when it concerns endgame because it is poignant with him and his story, and if you want jaime’s story to end thematically on true bravery (i pretty much want the same) then for him imo it wouldnt really be about some gallant fight and ‘dignity’ in the face of death. like even if he falls against the others, at a deeper level it wouldnt really be about that. the text frames bravery as something that can only exist when one is afraid. jaime doesnt fear death. it is reinforced by his actions as well as two clear and sincere statements. especially death in battle. jaime does not want to live that bad, he is consumed by despair enough to not fear losing his life. jaime repeatedly being referred to as courageous by other characters is therefore deconstructed (gets overt especially when he is called craven by brienne during a very important scene), because he isn’t truly brave yet. jaime is afraid to “live.” more specifically standing up and facing despair and the horrors and contradictions of the world. that is what he keeps running away from, and why he stagnated so hard post aerys. he is terrified in the dream. and he is not terrified of powerful figures coming at him with swords, but them coming at him with contradicting oaths, his guilt, and complex truths. he is scared of loss and abandonment. his own darkness. and it is that terror of his light going out when confronted with these things and that truly leaving him in darkness that really scares him. that would mean all purpose being destroyed, and existence being rendered meaningless. “why would the stars want to look down on such as me?” is emblematic of that feeling. it would be the final push into complete nihilism. “choices”, the thesis of his arc, becoming meaningless. this is a big part of him never confessing the aerys situation, because if the result of the confession is like the one in the dream, then that is what will happen. it is deeper than ned, u see him expecting him to come out, but it is not him “it was never him.”everything would become meaningless if that choice of his, in its full context, would be rejected by his ‘heroes’. the whole thing is symbolic of an idealist burning out with his “flame” literally being withered by the complicated reality of what feels like a fundamentally unjust world.

which is why it is so meaningful that he jumps into the pit willingly and kills the beast. it mirrors the abyss that he is shoved into screaming in the dream. if you are not in the pit, you will never confront what you fear most. accepting the horrors of the world and and refusing to fight it under the guise of cynicism and nihilism is cowardice on his part. if you dare to have hope be reignited, it might result in the flame dying out for eternity. and there is no greater risk than that. that is what reconstructing “the brave knight” is about. this is also why he is only really afraid, and tyrion (who says he has never seen jaime afraid like this when talking about the similarities between his and joffrey’s eyes during the latter’s death, as well as repeatedly noting jaime’s bravery) notices it and is taken off guard by it, when he is confessing the tysha situation. imo, him being truly brave is confronting truth, confronting the darkness, and being brave enough to not let the light go out, just like the example brienne shows, and allowing hope to exist. allowing yourself to still care despite the horrors that rendered you so cynical. not letting that flame be withered and destroyed by them (is that flame your humanity, hope, or whatever else of the sort? i think the symbolism is ambiguous enough to allow and encourage interpretation, but i read it as deeper than just literal ‘life’. it is purpose to existence) as far as dying is concerned, i dont really care atp. it is kinda open still with cersei saying “you will die when the flames die” and brienne’s still burns, so there is light in “his darkness.” but i can see his arc potentially building up to some kind of tragedy/death. i just hope to see him believe in and understand true heroism by the end of his story, and know that his choices hold meaning despite the contradictions and that the horrors can and should be fought, no matter the cost, personal pride and fear and despair be damned. no more going away inside.

feast makes it clear that the vows cannot compromise, so it is time to choose. brienne is the key representation of that for him. and there is a reason her sword keeps burning. there is a reason he dreamed of her. a reason he dares to dream again. there is a reason he comes back.

and i think all that can still exist in a ‘tragic’ or a bittersweet ending.

#ask #been a while since i’ve read it though so

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gayspock · 2 years

Text

ok enterprise eppy 1 liveblog

awwhrhh awwww. awhehhghhgh. aweehhghghgh. aowow. sorry. yeah ehrm well im scared of archer fyi but this little intro with a crumb of archer is really rather darling ... i love a little gent who makes model ships. you cant get much better than that. shame he becomes scott bakula but what can you do

Omg...t he like quality of this is also really disconcerting . hewwo. its like theres different freaking camera angles for reals. madness.

NOOOOO NOT A SILLY PUTTY BEASTS... HANG ON DIDNT I MAKE A POST AND PEOPLE WARNED ME ABOUT THEM. OH GOODNESS ME

bro why did you shoot my friend. my friend the klin- FTHE UFKCING INTRO I ALREADY KNOW THIS...

IM GOING TO VOM MAYBE.

CAUSE IVE GOT FAITH. OF THE HEART. IM GOING WHERE MY HEART WILL TAKE ME. IVE GOT F

also i dont want to be unfair to enterprise but i am going in with reservations bc i know, like, some vague ongoings with it that make me raise an eyebrow and i am sorta going in this antiicpating taking the piss a BIT more than with others, and i will say love the intro i dont care i love the song the lyrics so funny BUT the visuals are also making me freaking piss myself im so sory.... this is so early 2000s american core...

i cant tell the men apart yet.. thats one of the white blokes.

mister archer isnt AS scary with this little supernatural getup. sorry to call it a supernatural getup. sorry. early 2000s white man core. aesthetic. whatever. sorryyyyyy. stupid brown coat and jeans that are melting on the body.

be quiet archer.

ARCHER..... DO NOT......

LEAVE MY FRIEND THE KLINGON ALONE.... MANS GOT SHOT. GET OUT OF THERE ITS QUITE RUDE...

hes britissh

why did no one put a tw: british cunt on this fucking sh-

WAIT NO SOMEONE TOLD ME MALCY MOO WAS BRITISH BUT STILL FUCKING. THAT ACCENT. SCARY. WHY CANT THEY EVER JUST BE NORMAL BRITISH.

i like travis he's cute isnt he

you are all being so freaking mean to the vulcans. i'll kill you- wait---- HI PORIYHTOOOSSOSO HI PUPPY HI BABYYYYY AWWW MWAH MWAH WHOS A GOOD LITTLE BABY BOO.....

i like phlox hi phlox isnt phlox quite lovely

archer do not look at his feet youfreak.

PHLOX'S SMSIELELELLELEE

HE SAID: :>

HE SAID THAT

HE SAID ^v^ he said THAT

can everyone just be fucking nice to t'pol ive notfelt the stress since tos i forgot you guys are so rude all of the time to my friends the vulcans, my best friends the vulcans....

the girls are fighting.... sad face... why msutwomen fight. women should love women. soapy. smile.

again with malcy moos voice. JEUSUS- FUCKING HANG ON NEVERMIND THE PUTTY PALS ARE FUCKING SQUIRMING ALL OVER,

THEYRE FUCKING WRIGGLING LIKE BEASTS

anywaybefore i was rudely interrupted by interprative dance type creatures i was going to reitera- JESUS ITS LIKE A SPIDER IT KEEPS GOING SORYR- i was about to reiterate that malcolms accent specifically like i thought the actor was british but also theres soemthing so exaggerated .... i cannot cope

can you show some fucking enthusiasm for phlox. hes so phreaking polite. and you are not showing the enthusiasm he is due.

i like trips accent though isnt it fun. i dont know the difference between american accents but it has that quality to it. like an elastic band .. bwang. ^_^

again with the effects. so scary. will it always be this scary . i need to be held gently. like how tos held me gently.

but also its so nice to be visiting actual places... god. it feels like so long like- OH MY GOD LTIERALLY BUTTERFLIES SO GOOD OMGGG even if . well this is rather ... cheeky - but yes well sigh. i always got a little frustrated with how limited tng was. but smile i hope we get so many little adventures toplaces like this ... like how tos was. smile..........

t'pol is literally saving grace here..... goodness fucking gracious.

hoshi is s o pretty btw smile

DOES ARCHER HAVE EARRINGS ? DID I MISSEE?

okay thTSTHe halfway point im going to break now nods (walks away)

#Egg.txt #star trek liveblog #im not liveblogging all eps from now ijsut thought first one . shruggies.#well first and second since 2 parts but ehrm

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felidaefatigue · 1 year

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so me n my partner spend a lot of our couch time watching stupid youtube things right. and i have a fuckin rant abt something we watched.

[[MORE]]

And he is a lot more... willing to humor white male shit essentially right. cause hes a white boy. and hes like, pretty leftish mostly, enjoys talking politics and philosophy, is very social, very community oriented. But also is like, rural alberta farm boy and also very openly has some views that are like. "counter" mainstream leftist talking points; which honestly i rarely have problems with and usually agree with the nuances of or at least see where they come from; and im talking like. naunces of gun control and him leaning more anarchist and having issue with some of canadas un issue points- which i generally dont disagree with. like hunters wanting access to rifles that can have more than one shot so they can humanely kill aninals they might not have got a clean shot on. like i can fuck with that logic. Not like. white suprem shit or anything.

ANYWAY. back to the youtube point. so we also both like to watch thing that lean right just to like. keep informed stay out of the trap of insular bubble sometimes. and were watching this one guy who like. honestly generally pretty politically unoffensive, more just vulgar and absurdism. but he did a video about (mainly) women posting videos from the gym painting men in a predatory light, with a lot of emphasis on how illogical and unfair the women are, how the men are "just doing normal if not polite things".

and i have a lot of beef with it. like im genuinely quite angry and started seeing if i could feasibly contact this man to have a more nuanced discussion. which im pretty sure no cause hes p popular and im sure the video is at least to some degree clickbait.

but this idea really gets me. because its one of the misogynist talking points my partner is more vulnerable to as well. like the.. frustration white men feel often of being ostracised, demonised, pushed aside for the sake of other demographics nowadays. and i dont want to sound like i think that is a more important talking point, but its where he often sticks right. like why do they get priority type vibes. But this whole video is predicated on the fact that "oh men cant exist in public without being villainized on the internet" bUT LIKE. THE WOMEN ARE JUST SCARED.

like a lot of the women wERE saying and doing dumb shit. sure. but what men cANT GET THROUGH THEIR FUCKING HEADS. is WOMEN. FEAR. YOU. not YOU. or what your doing, just MEN. ENTIRELY. yea these dudes WERE doing things that may have been completely nuetral. glancing towards movement, asking about equipment, etc. nothing they did was outright predatory. but MEN as a concept are predatory. as many women die every year as some entire war death counts. largely at tge hands of men. men are literally the biggest risk to their lives. you dont HAVE to be doing anything wrong. your physical proximity is a RISK. that nuetral glance could be one from someone taking stock of if you are a potential victim. women dONT KNOW you are safe. they have NO REASON to assume as such.

like i agree a lot of the videos are unnecessary and probably only are posted for content and rage farming and would be better not existing. but like. god men need to check their egos and their hurt. like white women tears are one thing but white mens tears are MMM. Somethin else. youre mad cause a woman assessed your nuetral actions as a threat. but why does she have to do that. why do we see eye contact for a millisecond as a potential threat. why are you a threat. even when your not. bECAUSE MEN HURT WOMEN. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. its FEAR. not logic. get over your fuckin butthurt if your not an abuser gREAT DONT WORRY ABOUT IT. god damn.

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swaggypsyduck · 1 year

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can u please help me understand this psg ultras thing? 😭 why did they make my men stand like that in front of them?

so im a pretty recent (as in 2021) psg fan, all things considered, but everyone in football has heard about the psg ultras. they're who give psg fans a bad name basically. i was scared to say i started watching psg bc of the association but then i found out theyre just a loud but somehow powerful minority of the fans. so take what i say w a grain of salt.

so from what ive heard, and anyone can correct me ill rb ur response, the ultras have always been racist assholes (typical european male football fan) but they especially hate neymar bc of a transfer back to barça that failed when they found out he was willing to pay to leave the club. they'd start saying derogatory things about his mom and sister and so much racial abuse too AT HOME GAMES.

the hatred towards messi started i think(?) after the champions league loss against madrid. i think they always didn't like him before but especially after that loss. where they basically did the same thing: making comments on his female family members, booing him on the field, whistling while he plays.

of course it's abuse and messi and neymar shouldnt and dont take it so they dont greet the ultras before or after games. and the ultras get offended by this as the delusional man children they are and the rift gets larger.

so apparently the president of the ultras "apologized" for their behaviour and in a show of conciliation they did that cringey ass video THAT NO ONE WANTED TO BE THERE FOR.

anyways if u want a more in-depth look at this drama bc i barely scratched the surface id look at @neykyl 's blog bc they know and post way more about this than i do.

#i didn't include the mbappe stuff bc i personally dont think it matters #like watch how quick the racism and backstabbing will come out when he leaves to a club like madrid #the imaginary image they have of him was used to fuel the fire #psg

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lunati0ns · 2 years

Text

of one mind liveblog pt. 1

i saw someone putting all of their new acofaf reactions in one big post instead of a million small ones so im doing that instead ok? ok

EPITHETS!!!!!!

THE STATUESQUE.. theyre so handsome. so princely. so classically romantic. im proud of them

the formidable >:} so cool my dad so cool

THE TRUE. cute. haaaah it rhymes and also makes me teary. i love them so extremely much

oscar out here starting rumors SPECIFICALLY to make hob angry. why. just so rue can see him growl and make them blush? HM?

"and who started that rumor." "[immediately] i don't know." "....." "....... it was me ;}"

love that lou and emily are here SPECIFICALLY to make more drama i appreciate their roles so much. what would we do without them

WHAAAAT!!! HOB!!! WHAAAAT?! WHAT! WHAT! HOB?! MY GOD MAN. HOOOOOB?! oh my god he doesnt know... he has no way of knowing... OH MY GOD!!!! HOW CAN WE COME BACK FROM THIS BATTLEMASTER OF CEREMONIES!!!! oh hes not apart of it. dear god. AUUUUGH!!

brennan: [makes a emotions grenade] [hands it to the goblins] ok pull the pin

RAISES MY EYEBROW THE ANDHERA RUMORS? ',:0?! what does it mean what does it all mean what will be the implications of this. omg.

dont remind me we only have five episodes left PAIN

hob kill rumor? KILLS ANDHERA'S BAD RUMORS :( I LOVE THEM?! AND FUCKS UP HIS SISTERS REP AHAAAAA!!! goblin unseelie ALLIANCE!!!

epistolary phase. kicks my feet on my bed lovingly. literally everyone whos ever read my shit knows im a WHORE for these tropes,

illusory script letters ',:}}}}}} ;}}} ALVEN TIME. FIRST NAMES! i fan myself. chooch time. wow a sext. SQUAK'S A BOTTOM, CONFIRMED!!!! inspiration deserved

everytime hob writes a letter im like [heavy breathing] TO RUE? and every time its not. pain

oh squak's in trouble lol lmao lol lmao l--

OH A BEES IN MY SKIRT AND I LIKE IT

SQUAK... because he is LOWBORN. DEAR GOD. JEEEEEEZUS LOU.

STOP. NO. STOP. CHIRP. NAUR! ST. NO. STOP. QUIT IT NOW. STOP THIS oh okay its fine. oh my fucking god i thought she would pretend like it was a note from hob. im still throwing up though

binx letters :) :) binx binx<3

oh they Brought the goblin pagoda. thats cute. they built it all in ten minutes in a looney tunes tasmania devil style whirlwind dirt blur

[suddenly stricken by terrible realization] "oh grandpa's here. grandpa dog."

EUGH HE TALKS

:D hob and binx :D!

its literally so sad how binx has no attendants. no ones taking care of her...

HOBS SO WEIRD AND INTIMIDATING. I LOVE HIM

oh my god we're in for such a dynamic with hob and binx ohoohoohOO

SENDING FROM FUCKING REAL GWYN?! WHAT?! GIRL WHAT WAS TH oh 25 word limit. you scared the BITCH OUTTA ME!!

I LOOOOVE binxs moth wing liminal space magic way too much. tickles me. im teeheeing

omg is rue going to go to the planning meeting as an owlbear... omg they'll be so huge sitting at a little table delicately drinking tea...

i love how whenever oscar dots a ps at the end of a letter the ENTIRE TABLE gasps now

im scared for rue w this meeting... theyre so vulnerable after their reveal... are they even bringing an ally... what if they get pranked :(

UNTIL THE TIDE HAS RECEDED THAT YOU SEE THE WONDERS THAT WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME? STOP... M'HEART FLUTTERS... hes SO???? I DONT EVEN LIKE MEN. HES SO GOOD AT THIS AND SO STUPID

NOT THEIR FUCK UP LETTER TO CHIRP. AAAAAAAAH ITS ALL SHENANIGANS ALL THE TIME FUCK SHIT!!! GIRL HEEEEELP

FUCKING GRANDFATHER?!?!

IM ALREADY ENGAGED. WALK IT BACK.

she was courting me.... squak getting girlbossed? THEYRE IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP. WAH WAH! HE DOESNT LOVE HER. IM DEEPLY BETRAYED. HES SHOPPING AROUND! GIVE HER TO ME INSTEoh my god? SHES MARRIED??!!?!?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!??!?!

THE TWISTS!!! THE TWISTS AND TURNS!!!!!

YOU HAVE A CHIIIIILD?!??!?!

SHES HALF FUCKING MORTAL. OH MY GOOOOOD. HIS-- OH MY GOOOOD? YOU STUPID-- WHAAAAAT!!! THATS WHY SHES A KENKU!!!!!!

WELL NOW WE HAVE TO KILL THE BUTLER. IM SO GLAD ME AND EMILY HAD THE SAME THOUGHT. THAT DUMB DOUBLE CROSSING TRAITOR BITCH

oh hes just stupid. or is he. shoots him with insights beam. you looked like such a SNITCH right then bub

im sorry that i forced you to back it up. im sorry you were throwing major ass without your consent

UUGUH THE MUSIC. I LOVE. VIOLIIIIIIIINS!!!!!!

wah wah keeping each others secrets... theyre family...

SHES IN LOOOOOOOVE!!! SHE MATES FOR LIFE!!!

chirp matchmaker moment? chirp ENGINEERS BATTLEMASTER OF CEREMONIES MOMENT?

is that their name... i like it... bird family so CUUUUTE. i enjoy everything about your person because they make you happy..

hob: [forced polite chortles] anyways,

brennan's hob voice is so cool but has the capacity to be so silly too. so growly. the gravitas! i like it

petrified with terror at hob's guard dog vibes. feel like a mouse under a flashlight beam. WHO IS HE TALKING ABOOOOOUT!!!!!

oh my god is binx going to bring rue as their second. :deadjulian:

salt goblin: well. youre an orphan. so

binx @ social situation: i get it. DEFINITELY. I GET IT! [doesn't get it]

YAAAAAAAS BINX RUE HOB ANDHERA IN THE SAME ROOOOOOOM!!!!!

we're in rue segment wheres wuvvy please please please PLEASE,

i loooove the cousins constant running commentary

ohh is binx an arcane trickster.. wait thats so cute... I CHECKED THE WIKI SHE IS. WAAAAH! only the tiniest bit of magic :(

"are you flirting with me?" "no im not. sir?"

SOMEONES GOTTA FUCK A SALT GOBLIN

"my dear your WINGS ARE SHOWING?" what a difference in genres. binxs in a comedy and rues in a period drama. theyre so cute

will rue WILLINGLY GO TO THIS MEETING?! WITH HOB?!

BINX AND RUE I THINK YOURE MY BEST FRIEND THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!!!!!!!! THEY MET A WEEK AGO. BINX YOU IMPRINTED ON THE FIRST PRETTY OWLBEAR YOU SAW LIKE A LITTLE DUCKLING

we've gotta start killing people in this campaign guys. i love you ms axford

pov rue eats the salt goblin

IT WOULDVE BEEN SO CUTE IF RUE HAD ROLLED A 1 ON INTIMIDATION THOUGH. FUCK. but i like that they're scary

oh my gosh theyre best FRIIIIEEENDS

you have to KILL this goblin

rue literally debby ryaning their feathers at hob's mention. cmon. youre GAY

oscar's nails are pretty

college au where rues a popular senior and they scruff binx whos like a homeless sophmore and are like Youre Coming Home With Me. when they graduate with a degree in fucking idk a dynamite double of fashion and business law they move into an apartment and force binx to live on their couch because they like her (and also because she's Homeless. and an Orphan)

SEEING HIM MAKES OYU SWEATY... binx wiping their forehead. the fuck. i love them

omg binx with the good crush advice... SLEEPOVER VIBES

STOOOOP RUE YOU'LL KILL HIM HE'LL DIE!!! ',:3 but do it

SQUAK SCOOBY DOO RUNNING INTO THE KITCHEN. THE APPLE JUICE, ITS DEEP. ITS DEEP UNDERNEATH TH--

ANDHERA ZONE OF TRUTH. SHE FAAAILS!!!

ANDHERA BECOMES IN TEXT CANONICALLY ASEXUAL CONFIRMED MOMENT??

NO FUCKING WAY. MY STOMACH FUCKING SWOOPED. RUSH OF WARMTH. DEEPLY. NO WAY NO FUCKING WAAAY. OH MY GOOOOD? I THOUGHT SHE W. I THOUGHT SHE'D SAY NO. CHIRP???? WHERE AM I. OH MY GOOOD? im so fucking twisted at the TOWERS

JESUS CHRIIIIST. AUNTIE AND UNCLE. DISPEL MAGIC

wobble day drinking. king

FAKE DATING??!?! i need them to be in a polycule i can't take this

wuh oh cousins icarus fall imminent. the wax is melting bros

chirps so fucking tired bro

NO DONT MOVE ON GIRL WHAT WHAT WAS THAT!!!

omg... binx rue andhera hob in the same room.... bites my hands

not me tearing up over andhera hob real true friendship

stop... rue's so gentle with her... OH MY GOD THE BEST OF FRIENDS...

okay im running out of characters i cant shut up. im making a second part

#acofaf spoilers #acofaf #liveblogs #void.txt

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hobimo · 2 months

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sorry if i keep sending you asks i think it would feel a lil weird to dm bc my accounts on sns tend to be kind of throwaway accounts bc i don't know how to build an online presence prob freaks ppl out lol but yeah exactly you can tell that a lot of new jikookers experienced fan fiction for the first time with jikook so they just be reading and writing whatever. no critical thinking just big cocks and alpha knots is what it takes. the thing is that imo years ago you used to like a pairing and then get inspired by them to make up stories/characters, whereas i feel that now jikookers first and foremost see jm and jk's relationship and personalities in That specific way and it translates to fics as well. they keep saying it's just fiction but i don't buy it lmao i think it's the opposite so yeah it kinda fucks the whole thing up yk. OH btw i know that author!!! i have one of their naruto fics saved in my bookmarks so i'm def familiar w them, i'll check it out! ty <3

(i'll censor the names just in case) yeah they're rly good! hmm rk1ve1nk did an interesting spin on omegaverse in Forest,F1re. very animalistic even though the characters were made in a lab, super unique fic. Mo0nJar by them too is pretty cool. changing genres completely, user cartograph1c writes these weird lil fics, def recommended!!

HEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i swear i get so excited when i see you in my inbox hello hello hello

yessssss surveycorpsjean has been Around writing bangers. i am just discovering bakudeku the last few months tho so im extra insane about them 👍also recommend watching trigun for normal reasons (please. please please please please we need more people with trigun brainrot. if u like the hanged man archetype and characters doomed by the narratve and tragic siblings you will Love trigun.)

thank you very much for the fic recs!!!!!!! i have heard of the first author but cant think of the fic ive read so i will check it out. im such a fucking sucker for super animalistic a/b/o..... that furry shit is so good

i have so many thoughts about the way people talk and think about jimin these days but im so scared putting them on public posts will get me doxxed or some shit. people are very attached to the idea that jimin acts openly queer which is really like. well. yeah. i definitely think people reallyyyy need to remember it doesnt matter how much you believe someone famous is queer theyre just presenting in a way that makes them happy and you really do NOT need to decide whether that's queer or not lmao in fact i think it says way more about someone when they decide he's queer because he doesnt act like a "typical man". like yeah in his performances obviously he explores gender some times but like sometimes songwriters are also exploring themes and thoughts that are purely creative. sometimes its not about them (and sometimes it is!) but. yeah. you can PERCEIVE him as queer if it makes you happy but you gotta remember thats not fact thats just what YOU think. yknow. and i also think this translates kinda into the fic people consume and create.

like here's the thing. people dont need to ACT a certain way to be considered men like thats ridiculous if youre a man youre a man regardless of how you act or what u say or what bits you have. same for any gender. which is why i generally think critiquing the cringey wattpad fics is a slippery slope. however, do i also think a lot of them have a very distinct cishet girl fantasy..... yes. but its embarrassing to write Y/N fic. so theyve gotta vent their desires somehow which is like fine i dont give a shit what people write. (as much as it bothers me how uncritically people read it and get it popular) but sometimes in a/b/o especially....... its VERY clear when your biases come out. which is why its sooooooooo obvious when someone who has never met real life queer people writes it. for example grouping "women and omegas" like they fill the same role despite being different subgenders when u could specify like. omegas and female betas. if u wanted. implying that women are still women even if theyre alpha but omegas are not men anymore. you get me? the fact that u decided to include male/female gender essentialism in the fic genre specifically around Not doing that is so unbelievably on the nose. and yet i see it everywhere. (i also think this is a symptom of people never having read other fandoms tho. they dont even know about gock [girl cock]).

also fics where the major antagonists are a group of girls that harrass jimin r super mean bc god we cant have a MAN do that or he's a predator. you get me? and the alpha jk who is quiet and broody and doesnt even HAVE to fight bc he's soooooooo strong the other alphas are just scared of his vibes. like you know the type of fic im describing. in general whenever the major antagonist of the fic is a bunch of women who also want to fuck jk (which like. if we're supposed to believe jk is soooo hot... like. they should?) and the author calls them a "gaggle" of women and emphasises how they "giggle" and their high pitched unpleasant voices..... brother we have some serious internalised misogyny to unpack with that one.

sorry this is such a massive rant I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS. IVE READ SO MUCH BAD FIC IVE NOTICED SO MUCH

#sorry. about this #once again these are all my shitty little opnions......#im a professional hater what can i say. sorry

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