#i don’t use their friendship tag enough aaAAA

[mothmanwarble]

I still love that thing that the Mask of Power books did, in which they established Eon having some sort of telepathic link with his Skylanders. It’s really interesting, and I feel like it helps explain why/how Eon knows when to call the Skylanders back home if they’re tired or in trouble or something.

But also I imagine that it’d be very funny if this extended to Sensei Kaos and the other Skylanders, cuz let’s not forget: he’s still 100% a Portal Master. I love the idea of him creating his own mental links between him and other Skylanders just to be a nuisance. He keeps beaming thoughts directly into people’s heads and they hate it.

Aurora’s having fun though. She and Kaos keep using the brainlink to wordlessly quote YouTube Poops at each other. They deliberately get songs stuck in each other’s heads via telepathy.

#(this can be seen either within the context of the ‘sensei kaos = real kaos’ theory or just the ‘sensei kaos is a clone’ thing) #whissu rambles #skylanders #kaos skylanders #aurora skylanders #sensei kaos #brotp: kontrolled chaos #i don’t use their friendship tag enough aaAAA #i’ve already talked about the angst potential of the telepathic link in the past so for once let’s just think about the comedic potential #my faves can have fun. they can be silly. #aurora keeps brain blasting kaos with mambo no. 5 and he’s so sick of it

[cosmickunai]

undertale/deltarune for the fandom thing!!!!

Aaaaa thank you for the ask!! :] 

Undertale The first character I first fell in love with: Asriel!! I’m a big fan of the “kid who gets superpowers and uses them just like a kid would” trope when done right. He’s still one of my favourite boss battles! The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Chara! They canonically appear what, once? In the no mercy route? So it doesn’t really make sense why I love them as much as I do...but I do. I’m a sucker for Narrator!Chara what can I say The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Mettaton. I don’t hate him, I’m just not crazy about him. The character I love that everyone else hates: Chara again! I think they’re more popular nowadays, but when I first got into the fandom they were still the eeeevil monster who forced Frisk to kill everyone. I always hated that :/ The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Toriel to a degree? I still like her, but after replaying Undertale recently and hearing her line about how she thinks Asgore should have just killed ONE child and then crossed the barrier to obtain the remaining human souls....yikes?? I get where she’s coming from, but unpopular opinion: She was VERY unfair to Asgore. Sure Toriel he’ll just cross the barrier like his children did, you know, the children that died.  The character I would totally smooch: Nappstablook because how could I NOT The character I’d want to be like: I don’t think I want to be like any of these people The character I’d slap: Asgore but gently A pairing that I love: Platonic Chara/Asriel! I don’t think I seriously ship anyone in Undertale tbh A pairing that I despise: PAPYTON. Sorry Papyton shippers I just find it hard to get on board with ships where the two characters never interact, and honestly I just don’t see what the appeal is. Also I’m a staunch believer in aromantic!Papyrus :]

Deltarune The first character I first fell in love with: Ralsei!!! He’s just so sweet and adorable while still being interesting, I want to know more about who he is and his relation to Asriel...and I want his plushie SO BAD The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: I absolutely detested Berdly when I first saw him, but now he’s one of my favourites. He’s just a funny little gamer man with transmasc swag The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Spamton. I like him plenty, but not enough to put up with the entire deltarune tag being overrun by him!!! The character I love that everyone else hates: Berdly!! I hate when people say he’s transphobic/homophobic when it’s canon that there’s nothing wrong with him he’s just annoying. The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Aw man...Noelle. SUPER unpopular opinion: I don’t particularly care for Susie/Noelle. I almost feel like when Noelle is around Susie, everything she does becomes singularly about Susie and it kind of smothers the rest of her personality and relationships? I think I’ll like them more when/if Noelle becomes more confident around her so that their personalities can bounce off each other in a more fun and interesting way. The character I would totally smooch: Ralsei platonically :] The character I’d want to be like: I want the same vibes as Roulx Kaard even though I probably shouldn’t The character I’d slap: King I don’t CARE if your son is a squishy little pumpkin you cannot throw him off a roof A pairing that I love: Platonic Noelle/Berdly, I really want to see more of their friendship!! Berdly is kind of weird, but he obviously cares about Noelle a lot. A pairing that I despise: Kris X Ralsei is the BANE of my existence. It’s obvious that Ralsei has SOME relation to Asriel, Kris’ brother, so it makes me super uncomfortable when people say things like “Oh I hope Ralsei isn’t Kris’ brother so I can ship them!!!” its so gross.

#thanks again for the ask it was fun!! #i like sharing my terrible opinions #noelle/susie and papyrus/mettaton shippers please dont hurt me #also if no one asks im just gonna go ahead and do danganronpa with this anyways because i have OPINIONS on that game #oh and i probably misspelled a few names here and there hope that isnt too annoying #sunny speaks #asks #ask games

[where-is-my-beheading-ceremony]

Aaaaa headcannons!

Claytro edition! (purely based on my personal thoughts)

(note: feel free to enjoy, but if this ship is not something you are interested reading about then I totally understand, have fun scrolling the Nexo Knights tags! ❤️)

-Clay is the only one that has actually managed to touch Jestro's hair, but it was a lot shorter when they were still kids

-These two have regular sleepovers since after Jestro started training to be a royal Jester, they couldn't be roommates anymore

-Yes they were roommates for a few years and Merlok would read them bedtime stories

-Jestro gets cold in his sleep often so Clay would sleep with them to help them feel warmer along with the pile of 3 blankets

-The two also sleep together whenever they feel bad (had a nightmare, stressed, emotional). Less so as adults though since now they barely ever sleep

-Surprisingly, Jestro doesn't fear the cold too much. He doesn't enjoy it more so because of the memories of cold winters in the streets and not because of how cold he's feeling right now.

-Jestro and Clay treated each other with colorful bandages as kids since Jestro used to bruise easily and Clay would get bruises from training

-Jestro and Clay would occasionally text each other in seasons 1-2, more so when there's some celebration. Both wanted to know how the other is doing, but Jestro was far more reserved in giving out info

-Clay even called him on his birthday and snuck to the lava castle to leave a gift l without anyone knowing.

-Jestro did a similar thing, but he just threw a gift at them in the middle of battle because he didn't want to seem suspicious by gifting it genuinely. Clay still understood it and was very pleased

-They made friendship necklaces for each other back when they first met and wore them the whole time

-Clay was the first one to rip off the friendship necklace. Specifically, stone Clay when he first was woken up and still hadn't yet had the chance to remember his bond with Jestro

-Let's pretend Jestro wasn't hurt for the sake of our hearts since that hurt a l o t.

-Jestro had to be zapped after that emotional ride, so fresh with Mondtrox' magic, he too took it off, but kept both his and Clay's necklaces.

-Not long after, these two grow close together again as a duo

-Stone Clay and Corrupt Jestro was the thing that haunted everyone since they worked together and became terrifyingly good at causing mass destruction

-From the outside it didn't seem like they always got along since Stone Clay had some definite anger issues. Jestro always made sure not to talk to him too much during battles since that's when they're most riled up

-The time after battles between the two is spent well. They just hang out and talk, often plotting because they can and Jestro making fun of the knights, as well as giving Stone Clay more reasons to dislike them

-Both of their memories were iffy at that point, so wherever they remembered, they told each other

- Stone Clay was like Jestro's bodyguard who sometimes did a poor job at being one

-Not a day passed where Stone Clay didn't end up carrying Jestro in his arms

-Absolute power duo

-Honestly could've taken down the kingdom

-There's not much Clay could to to stop Monstrox from zapping Jestro

-The first time, he even made sure Jestro wouldn't move, not knowing what to expect and not realizing Jestro felt things completely differently since we'll, he wasn't stone

-The other times Clay just looked away since he still saw Monstrox as the superior out of everyone

-Jestro absolutely loved Clay's new violent nature and Clay absolutely loved how un-hinged Jestro was. The echo to Jestro's voice could even give his stone body shivers

-Jestro treated Stone Clay exactly how someone would treat their ex after he returned to the Knights

-After Season 4, Jestro looked like he'd need life support from how much of a negative impact Monstrox' magic left on him so Clay would occasionally secretly check up on how he's doing even if he's not supposed to interact with Jestro

-Jestro was absolutely not glad to see Clay because he knew that he woukd be the one to get in trouble for it, not the knight.

Now to something happier again!

-Clay always takes any chance given to him to carry Jestro in his arms

-Jestro takes any chance possible to praise Clay's work

-Clay allows Jestro to paint their nails

-Clay is just an absolute himbo, who only has enough braincells to be a knight and leader

-These two have terrible social skills

-Their first kiss was back in their academy days, on one of their last years

-They were both sort of curious is all. But it didn't change much to their friendship since the two didn't feel like they were quite enough for the other

-They still don't have any spoken relationship.

-It's just been mutual simping for each other since their academy days

-The two would be completely content with never being in a relationship their whole lives

-Which is why they need encouragement from others to actually get a move on with their relationship

-Everyone in the academy thought they were a thing. Every single person. But it wasn't spoken about much since it became the usual thing.

-At the start however, there were many rumors and a lot of gossiping. People were worried for Clay's reputation when he himself didn't even feel worried about it.

-Clay is comically stubborn when it comes to seperating him from Jestro.

-Jestro let's go a lot easier, even if he doesn't want to.

-The amount of times Clay had cornered Jestro with both his arms and thought it was a casual thing to do is ridiculous.

-Jestro learns a lot more when Clay helps him study than when he studies in class

-Surprisingly, both performed a lot better whenever they had a task to do together.

-Since Clay doesn't brag about himself, Jestro makes sure to tell as many great things as possible about Clay. Like he'd tell heroic, almost over the top stories about whatever Clay does to other students

-Clay has definitely used Jestro as a weight for an exercise before

-Jestro seems like a mom whenever something bad happens to Clay. He always takes care of them and scolds them on a caring matter

-The amount of shock the teachers were when Clay had gotten into a fight with other students was definitely something.

-But Jestro definitely understood why Clay acted out. Yes he's a model student, but Clay always has to force himself not to speak out, frustration can build up.

-Jestro only wishes it wasn't because some students went overboard on throwing hurtful words towards Jestro and then later Clay. This happened when they were still quite young

-Jestro would wait for Clay when he had to sit through multiple detentions because of that one event

-Jestro's language is words

-Clay's love language is acts of service

-These two till this day have to hug at least once a week

-Clay only dares to show all of his sides around Jestro and Jestro gladly helps them express their frustrations and such. Clay even feels comfortable enough to openly complain about people that have been getting on his nerves.

-Jestro doesn't understand why Clay treats him almost like a porcelain doll. The knight doesn't even dare to hold his hand too tightly and always waits a second to be sure if he can touch Jestro in any way, like a hug.

-Clay is just very worried of causing even the smallest bits of discomfort to Jestro

-Jestro meanwhile doesn't hesitate for a second and nearly tackle hugs Clay instead of going for the careful approach

-Both often times speak out their minds about each other unintentionally so it would go like

"Clay I could just hold your face and kiss you right now!... Wait-I just couldn't think of a better way to explain my joy for my bestest friend ahahaha, yeah-"

"Jestro I'm, so glad to see you're doing well, I couldn't have handled seeing someone I love hurt by that-...because you're my best friend... Yes!"

-Jestro from the very start was a shameless hoarder of Clay's clothes. Whatever he gave them, he gladly accepted

-Whenever Jestro made something for Clay, Clay would spent half an hour staring at it, afraid to ruin it some way by using the thing gifted to him. Same goes with whatever pastries he gets, he feels almost guilty for eating them

-Clay has a few Plush toys that Jestro got him and Jestro's collection mostly consists of the ones Clay got him

-Jestro hasn't moved out of Knightonia only because Clay gives bear hugs and he absolutely loves them

-If given the chance, Jestro would sacrifice much more than Clay could for him even if it doesn't seem like it

-These two would always play hide and seek in Merlok's library and around the castle even as teens at times

-Both of them encourage each other to be childish when they want to be

-Clay has pulled a Romeo so many times and came to the castle late in the evening just to talk to Jestro through their balcony

-Jestro can actually play violin. He's not perfect, but he definitely knows how to play it. He convinced himself he's bad at it since his bad luck always causes the strings to snap

-Jestro has played violin for Clay whenever they're sick to keep them amused

-Jestro once thought about running away in the academy and Clay was so ready to run with them so Jestro immediately threw that idea aside

-These two are like baby ducklings, they follow each other closely almost all the time

-Clay used to always be the one to say "He asked for no pickles" but after Season 4 and Jestro's absolute disappointment in the kingdom and it's people, he became the one to say "he asked for no pickles"

-Clay is glad that after season 4, Jestro started paying almost no mind to how people of Knightonia view him, but it makes him a bit worried even. Especially when Jestro just uses the people's own feelings towards him for his own advantage:

.

Shop keeper: YOU! Came here to steal all my baked goods, burn the place to the ground???

Jestro:... yes.

Shop keeper: what-

Jestro: I just said yes. Now can I get some of those caramel croissants.

Shop keeper now worried for their life: o-oh! Here! They're on the house!!!!

Jestro coming out of the bakery: Here Clay, I got us some of those fresh baked ones!

Clay:...was it on the house again?

Jestro:...mmm...yes?

Clay lightly sighing and going in to pay for it.

.

-Jestro feels sour enough towards Merlok that after season 4, he feels the need to protect Clay from whatever they might say and makes sure there isn't anything they decided to keep secret from them

Last, but not least:

-no matter what happens in their lives, these two will always find a way to keep close to each other, even if it takes time. Couple or not, they're soulmates that will never move on from each other. Inseparable by fate itself.

#nexo knights #jestro #legonexoknights #clay moorington #lego nexo knights #nexo knights jestro #Claytro #I love them #Love at it's purest

[lycheesodas]

Different anon but I'm interested in that list 👀

aaaaa ok!! here we go

from the / tag:

Beneath a Young Sun and in the Eagle's Shadow by Strigimorphaes, G, 5.2k words

Beleg has been away for some time, guarding the border, killing orcs and generally living the rough life. Meanwhile, Mablung has been staying at Doriath's court. Once reunited, they are sent away to the Mereth Aderthad, but despite being headed for a joyful feast, Beleg still sees danger everywhere. Mablung tries to convince him that for once, there is some hope for this strange, changed world - and a chance for a peaceful moment or two in the wilderness.

We’re starting off with my favourite!! The entire atmosphere here is just so dreamy, so whimsical.. I love it. Pretty serious but also fluffy! And optimistic ; w ;

Hurry with the swift current by LiveOakWithMoss, T, 1k words

Beleg is foolish, Mablung is furious, both are wet.

Short! Cute! Really funny aljsdfk this is so,, in character for them imo. The last line always fckin HITS

The Black Sword by elfscribe for tehta, M, 12.4k words

Mablung sees a strange portent that causes him to fear that his beloved friend Beleg's affection for Túrin, the self-exiled young warrior, could bring grief to them all.

One of two (2) fics on this list with a rating higher than T. Missing scene, canon-compliant so.. a lot of angst. I normally don’t read first person POV but this is really quite good! It’s one of the longer fics that take on their last parting ; ~ ; and I think the author did an excellent job of exploring their feelings and how they each came to their decision on what to do. Also, just putting it out there, the M rating is for a short smut scene in mid chapter 2.

(Uhh there was another one but I think the author has it set on private now 😭)

Moving on to the & tag!! Because friendship fics also slap

All The King's Horses by Nauthril, M, 44.3k words

Beleg felt, more than saw the projectile that struck with a sickening thuck sound into the larger part of his thigh. Someone cried out in pain and surprise, and he vaguely realized it may have been him.

The Elf went to yank the dart from his leg, only to find that it was barbed, designed to let its venom overwhelm the victim before it could be quickly removed. The more subtle effects of the spike were nearly immediate, effecting his fine motor skills.

His right thigh burned fiercely with every pulse of his heart.

Fighting the urge to keep his own two feet from tangling with his steps, the Beleg made every effort to at least stand upright.

Or:

Beleg fails to return to Menegroth for Túrin’s birthday celebration. Mablung and Túrin set out to find him and bring him home.

A LONG FIC.. A LONG, CHAPTERED FIC!!!!! I felt like I won the lottery when I saw this hrhfsldfjk It’s an action adventure with multiple POV’s and it’s just really freakin good ok, I am absolutely living for that resolution in chapter 7. The relationship between all three main characters are handled really well! I think it’s gonna be part of a series too so HYPE!!! I wish there was like a follow or subscribe button on ao3 so I’ll know when the author would upload next ; 0 ; (EDIT: THERE IS ONE BUT I JUST NEVER FUCKING SAW IT LMFAO) Also, mind the warning tags here! Slight spoiler: it was an original side character so it wasn’t very front and centre but it could still bother some people

A Quiet Moment by Nauthril, G, 1.6k words

A Yuletide fic for the season. Beleg returns from the Northern Marches and shares some quiet moments with Mablung.

I know tis not the season but it’s so cute.. And honestly it’s immersive enough to make you feel like it’s actually Christmas! The banter, the gift exchange, the way they’re so comfortable with each other ; w ; This warms my heart <3

Parting by @glowingmechanicalheart right here on tumbler dot com

It’s literally six sentences but they’re such efficient sentences. It’s so clear and so sad because we know what happened in the end ; ~ ; it’s really what I was trying to convey with this piece!

The next two are by the same author on AO3!

Battle Worn But Going Home by GlowingMechanicalHeart, T, 1k words

The battle rages, hard and brutal. And it’s going to end badly, Mablung can tell already. Something feels off, like Belegûr is holding back, mocking their armies and their dead. Beleg stands side to side with him, and that is a comforting thought for him.

And then it happens, a betrayal from their own side and the battle grows worse.

Everything about the Fifth Battle is just pain...... I always wondered how those two handled it, though :0 And this fic gives us a glimpse of that. I really like how this author handles Mablung’s POV!

Mourning a Friend by GlowingMechanicalHeart, T, ~700 words

Mablung does his best to not to worry, if anyone can take care of himself, it’s Beleg. But his thoughts and emotions betray him, his whole being is screaming at him that Beleg is in danger, to run forth, find his friend and bring him to the safety of Doriath.

THIS FIC. I’M- I HAVE NO WORDS JUST READ IT 😭 Incredibly sad but well-written take on how Mablung finds out about Beleg’s death. Absolutely heartbreaking, I love it.

Now for some stuff outside the relationship tags because I'm literally that desperate.

Within a Dark Wood by Marchwriter, T, 7.7k words

"The tale of Túrin is known to many of this company… but…tonight is not the night to tell it. So I will tell you another tale. One that, perhaps, not even the eldest amongst our little company has yet heard." So the storyteller began…

Story within a story, which is always cool imo! Follows Beleg and Mablung from their first meeting to their last parting and a little bit after Beleg’s death ; w ; THE YEARNING..... it’s palpable. This one really tugs at my heartstrings because it made me think of what could have been (within the scope of the fic) if they’d just been honest with their feelings

The Two Hunters by theeventualwinner for Lunarium, G, 1.3k words, no summary ;;

Cute friendship fic!! Somehow full of hope in a time when the dark forces are growing. I like how it captures the difference in their personalities and approach towards life(?) but how they’re still close friends

And that’s basically my full reading list of my favourite marchwardens! They’re such an underrated pair (as best friends?? boyfriends? either way they’re soulmates 😤) that there’s not a lot of fics about them. I do my best with creating my own content but I’m more of an artist than a writer XD But they’re really starting to force my hand here. 

I hope you guys enjoy my recs! Also, thanks anon and previous anon for reminding me to log back in to my AO3 account so I can leave a proper review soon 💀

#Anonymous #answered #tolkien #silmarillion #beleg #mablung #lychee's fic recs #as you can see it's literally only 3 in the actual ship tag #i spent almost two hours putting this together it's so late now omfg #i am going to SLEEP

[yukikorogashi]

🍒 + mine? :D

send  me  🍒  +  a  url  and  i  will  write  some  positivity  for  them.

Still accepting!

   Oh, Keira you absolute star!!! 🥺❤️ I have already said this before to you (Though, get use to me being a broken record about these things, hehe), but I can’t tell you enough how wonderful it is to see you back on Tumblr and to reconnect with you like this. Honestly, you have been, such a sweetheart reaching out the way you have to my shy foo ass, and lord knows my heart melts whenever I receive any sort of message from you (Even if it’s just talking about what you are planning to have for dinner that night LOL). It just... it means so much that you would remember me after all these years. 

   And let’s just say I was so floored when you had followed me first, then reblogged my promo with all those kind things in the tags. Again it’s like... “OMG SHE REMEMBERS ME???” And aaaaa when you had shared that years old Christmas submission I had sent to you through your LIS blog... omg the memories, the absolute memories. 🥺 A lot has certainly changed over these years, but it’s things like this that I really do want to bring back in time, thanks to dears like you. ❤️ You are honestly such a remarkable individual. You are such a warrior with how you take on whatever crap life throws at you. For no matter how tough things get, I always see you lashing your blade back out at it, when they least expect it. B) And you have been nothing but kind and supportive me (And to all your other friends ofc like, lookit you-- ready to eat shins if anyone does any of us dirty LOL! I LOVE THAT!) and ahhhh... we are all just so lucky to have you in our corner of the ring. I myself still don’t know what I did to deserve the awesomeness that is you, but damn am I going to do everything I can to show just how much I cherish your priceless friendship! Again, I’m so grateful for the support you’ve been giving me through donations and commissions, and I still can’t thank you enough for that and for the honour of designing things for your awesome blogs! 😭

   And now, I do apologise deeply for the fact that I know very little about Warcraft (Being a Starcraft and Diablo gal myself, LOL! And that’s only up to Brood Wars and Diablo II 😔), but it’s all too clear just how passionate you are about your Forsaken lass. Once again, whenever I see you talk about your muse and share your thoughts on the game itself and just... show just how into it all you are, I’m just here like “I don’t know what’s going on, but damn, do I support you on this.” AUEAHUWE!!! Again, I just... feel so awful that I know so little about her, but gdi I am going to read through all her lore if it’s the last thing I do! I really, REALLY do want to get to know her better (As well as your OC), and all in due time we are most definitely going to interact with one another!!! Your writing is absolutely breathtaking too and reads like those fantasy novels I would use to enjoy when I was younger (And use to read more books LOL), with the poignant writing style and voice to which you have given to your muse. And man if I hadn’t known you before-- seeing this quality follow me would have made me go “AUEHAWUE OMMG??” I mean, I still reacted that way when you had followed me that day BUT! Truly... you are such an amazingly talented writer, and I can see that every muse you take on is given the justice they deserve, all thanks to you. 8′) I will always know that any muse you choose to write and love with all your heart, will be in trusted hands.

#lamentaticn #❄️BECKOWSKY SPEAKING! ❄️ #❄️ QUEUE ❄️

[renlimotroll]

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Pairing: Mintosu × Siruko (side), one-sided Limone-sensei x Siruko (main)

Summary: It's not the butterflies that tell Sensei that he's in love. It was the death by a thousand cuts.

Tags: angst, heavy angst!!!, endgame MinSiru wedding, long fic, unrequited love

Warning: BL, Cursing, Imagination, but I like to keep my characterization 80% canon.

Ren's notes:

Before you read this, I want to say that this is Sensei’s POV, so the MinSiru moments will come across as sad and painful. I love Siruko-san, Mintosu-san and Limone-Sensei equally, and this is only just a story, okay? Please come into the story with an open mind and finish it with no attachments. Also, ready your heart.

I woke up at 3am and started writing this because all my best thoughts come at 3am. I was supposed to write cutesy, romantic Christmas stories, but when inspiration hits, it hits. This story is 100% MinSiru because no matter how pseudo-canon LimoSiru is, it's not what people want (wow, bitter Ren is bitter).

This story might be controversial, so I spent a week debating whether to publish it or not, but after all the hard work and me trying to be poetic, it would be a waste to keep it in my folders.

I'd like to thank Taylor Swift for possessing me with her poetic ghost. I listened to "The Moment I Knew", a song about her bf not coming to her birthday party, and was filled with so much angst because it hit home too much.

Please enjoy and don't blame me for your holiday blues!!

This story didn't have a happy ending.

Because the moment Limone-sensei realized he had fallen in love, he knew he was screwed big time. And it won't end well for him. 

But that was okay, because all he wanted was for this person's happiness. This person deserved it more than anyone else in the world, and Limone-sensei will do everything in his power to make sure he gets it.

He being Siruko-san.

He didn’t like them, at first. Limone was a possessive, jealous friend, and when he learned Hana-chan met new gaming friends, his first instinct was to shoot them. But how could anyone not love Siruko-san? He had a beautiful soul, a kindness rare to the human race. Siruko-san was the kind of person who could bring a group of people of different personalities together and make them all get along well. It was really easy to fall for someone like him, and no matter how hard Sensei tried not to, it just happened. 

After that, it was death by a thousand cuts.

The first cut came out when they were shooting a video. He always looked forward to the four of them shooting, because that meant he could see Siruko-san. But something about the Bintroll leader was off, had been off for days actually. Sensei knew because Sensei watches all his live streams when he can, and he was observant. It made Sensei’s heart weak, but because they weren't that close and they didn't have the same level of friendship Siruko had with Mintosu-san, Sensei couldn't just LINE him and say, "Hey, is something wrong with you?" But something happens with the Minecraft trap he was making for Hana-chan, and his first thought was, I can use this as an excuse. So he calls Siruko-san and all is saved, and after that they start to communicate more, outside the games they play for Hana-chan's channel.

Sensei's plan to get closer to Siruko-san fails, because the more time he spends chatting with him, the more he gets to know Siruko-san, the more he falls in love. They text almost everyday; they VC on nights they both couldn't sleep, on days something good happens and they both wanted someone to share it with. And then Sensei realizes something that'll break his heart forever.

One day, after Hana-chan wrapped up the first Atsumori video of them, and Sensei and Siruko moved to private messaging on Discord and continue to chat and talk like they always do after each shoot (sometimes about editing and most times about nothing), Sensei thought it was time.

"Siruko-san."

"Hm?" The purple head answered absent-mindedly. Because they're on a video call, like they've done most times now actually, Sensei could see his beautiful purple eyes fixed on something in his monitor. He's reading the comments on the latest Bintroll video, and Sensei always finds it endearing that he's always liking all the comments. Sensei does read his comments too, but he thinks it's too troublesome to like all of it. It's just not his style.

Sensei decided it's now-or-never. "You like Mintosu-san, don't you?"

Siruko stopped scrolling, eyes shifting to the webcam. Sensei kept a straight face, fakes being detached and indifferent to the reply, but it's something he already knew. He's seen it in the way Siruko-san almost always talks about Mintosu-san when they voice call, in the way that he's always so soft and patient for Mintosu-san. Sensei saw Siruko scrambling for an answer in a panic and took that as a confirmation, even as Siruko-san started to deny it.

"W-what's gotten into you Sense--? O-of course not!! I-what made you say that? Mouuu, is this a prank?? Stop joking with me Sense-- hidoi yo!"

Sensei rolled his eyes for effect, but his chest is heavy with something he can't explain. "You're a fucking idiot. Just spit it out, okay? I know it. Don’t make a fool of me."

"I really dont!" Siruko vehemently opposed it. A moment later, he gave up and sighed in defeat, because Sensei always saw right through him. "I-is it obvious?"

Very, Sensei thought, but instead he went with, "I don't think Mintosu-san knows. That guy is as dense as the air itself."

They fell into silence, and Limone-sensei was very sure right now that Siruko was thinking of the green robot. His heart told him, “No, don't say it, don't do it Limone!!”, but since when has he listened to his heart? So he said to Siruko-san, "You should confess."

"E-EHHHH?!?!"

"Tell him what you feel, Siruko-san."

"I-uhhh… Minben-san is not…. And I c-can't… uuummmmm…."

"Oh for fucks sake! Stop being a fucking coward, okay? If Mintosu-san accepts your feelings, then good. If he rejects you, then you'll learn how to move on. But I won't let you just keep this to yourself." Limone face-palmed himself internally, thinking hard about how he’s such a fucking liar and a hypocrite. The wide, scared puppy eyes Siruko-san is showing melted his heart. It's his weakness. But Sensei never gave in to any of his weaknesses. "I've watched all your videos and we've been friends for a long enough time for me to be sure that you love him, Siruko-san."

"But… but what if Minben-san..." Siruko whispered with this lost, desperate voice, and Sensei gritted his teeth to keep himself from falling apart. He had to do the right thing, even if it meant ruining himself.

"You'll never know if you never try. That's why you need to do something about this, instead of carrying it in your heart all the time. At the very least, it'll give you answers." Siruko looked so unsure, and Sensei knew he's thinking that Minben-san will never like him, that he's thinking bad thoughts about himself, and Sensei won't let Siruko belittle himself again. "Stop overthinking this! It's all in your mind. I said it, didn't I? You'll never know if you never try. Don't make me call Mintosu-san myself and tell him your feelings."

"A-ah!! Okay okay!! I'll… think about it?"

"Fine. I guess that's good enough."

Siruko smiled that sweet, precious smile of his, and usually it warmed Sensei's heart, but today it brought a thousand cuts. "Thank you Sensei."

"Whatever. Now hurry up and finish liking those comments so we can go to sleep."

"But you can sleep! I told you you didn't have to stay up for me!"

"And since when have I ever listened to you?"

"All the time." Siruko muttered, but Sensei heard it, so he faked being insulted with a "HA?!?!" and Siruko laughed (and Sensei loved that laugh), "Nothing, nothing!! Of course you'll do what you want, Sensei, you're badass like that."

"Damn right."

And a week later, Siruko texted him "Sensei, I did it!! Minben-san is my boyfriend now aaaaa!! Thanks so much Senseiiii!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄"

And Sensei replied "Good for you. Congrats." then went back to bed. Stared at the ceiling for long goddamn hours. He tweeted to his followers that he didn’t feel good so no video today, and turned off his phone.

And it felt like there was a big black hole in his chest. He didn’t get up to eat, he just stared at the ceiling, hating himself for being such a goddamn coward. He finally knew what it felt to be pierced through the chest like those characters in DbD, only his bleeding wasn’t physical, just metaphorical. The pain was real though. So real it cut him open and every breath was hard to get.

The next day, he moved on. Or at least, he pretended he did. One day of moping was enough. He replied "I'm fine" to everyone who texted him even when he's not. He had to be fine. 

It's just death by a thousand cuts after all.

The next time it happened, Sensei had just finished playing a horror game and he felt accomplished. He was about to reward himself with a cookie even though he doesn't really like sweets, when the notification sound for a video call rings. He answered it automatically and he's greeted by a crying mess, and his heart dropped in response.

"Siruko-san?"

He didn't get an answer. Limone tried to make him calm down and breathe, and thankfully Siruko-san listened to him. The poor guy hiccuped and sniffed, and Sensei was already plotting Mintosu's death. He'll make it look like an accident too. One can’t play video games in prison after all.

"*sniff*... we had.. a fight, tente-… He got angry coz he said I was smothering him. I swear I didn't mean to nag, Sensei! I was just worried coz you know!..... Minben-san doesn't keep normal sleeping hours… well, I don't too so I don’t have the right.. but I was just worried, Chenche-!!"

Sensei pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Okay, so maybe he won't kill Mintosu, but he deserves a punch. Maybe two. In times like this Limone wished he could run to Tochigi and comfort Siruko in person. He'd been there once for a business-related meeting, and instead of staying in a hotel, Siruko offered their home. It was a nice trip, and he got to meet Siruko's lovely folks and brother. It made him guilty but also fulfilled for some reason, that he was able to stay in Siruko's house and spend time with him. It was something his internet relationship with Mintosu hasn't had yet at that time.

Forcing himself back to the present, Limone took off his glasses and wiped it with his shirt. Ever since he urged Siruko-san to confess, he became somewhat a confidante to their relationship. Siruko would sometimes share the good stuff but also vent out his frustrations. The positive point of this is that Sensei got to talk to Siruko-san, but it low-key stings as well.

"Siruko-san. You know what you were getting into when you started this relationship. Heck, you know Mintosu-san so well, so you should have known that he loves his freedom. I'm not saying you're wrong for worrying, but Mintosu-san is… well, Mintosu-san after all. I'm sure he can take care of himself."

"I know that." Siruko sulked and pouted and sniffed again. He really should blow his nose. Sensei resisted the urge to wipe his tears from the monitor by clenching his hand under the table.

"Sometimes… sometimes I feel that he's not my boyfriend."

Sensei couldn't help it, but this ugly, dangerous thing called hope arises from the pits of his locked-up emotions that he squishes down every single time. He's only human after all. Limone forced himself to remember who it was that made Siruko-san laugh, who it was that Siruko-san always worried about, who it was that Siruko-san loved, and gods Sensei wished it was him, but it's not.

In his wallowing he didn't realize Siruko-san was still talking, "...and he doesn't even text me good night, and I'm not asking for so much romantic stuff, but would it kill him to at least say he loves me too?"

Siruko stopped, waiting for a reply that Sensei forced through the shards of glasses in his throat. He killed the thought that sprung in his mind, "I'll tell you I love you everyday if you were mine.", and instead he settled for, "No, it wouldn't kill him." 

Sensei continued because he doesn’t hate Mintosu-san. The guy's a good guy, and he can see why Siruko fell for him. Even his annoying sides are endearing. Sensei wanted to defend his side that Siruko-san might have missed.

"But Siruko-san, you knew he wasn't the romantic, hearts-and-roses type of guy, and you fell for him anyway. Don't you think it's a bit unfair of you to expect him to suddenly be a sweet-honey-words kind of guy? If you really wanted things like that, talk to him about it. Guide him through it, coz for all that idiot's bountiful of APEX skills, he sucks when it comes to emotions. Talk to him properly, and maybe back off with the nagging a little bit."

Siruko considered his words and looked thoughtful, and Sensei swallowed the bile coming up his throat, half-wishing they’d break up even though he just helped fix the misunderstanding. Finally, after long minutes of silence, Siruko showed a hint of that really cute, embarrassed smile. "Thanks Sensei. You're really good with advice."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Siruko chuckled a little and Sensei was content with that, he told himself. Just that slight hint that he was able to make Siruko-san feel better was enough. He doesn't want more, he lied to himself. "I might start to call you love-sensei now www. How come you're so good with relationship advice but you don't have a girlfriend? Want me to set up someone for you?"

"Do it and I'll kill you. You're lucky I don't charge you consultation fees."

"Coz you love me~" Siruko sang playfully.

You have no idea, Sensei thought hard. "I'll fucking kill you, bakagayo! Now if you don't have anything else to say, I'm gonna go to sleep."

"It's just 12 midnight! Since when do you sleep so early?"

I actually won’t. I'll lie down and imagine ways I could treat you better than he can, then hate myself for thinking such evil, selfish thoughts. But Sensei replied instead, "I just played a horror game and I went out today, so I'm a bit tired." Sensei knew Siruko-san would feel guilty he disturbed Sensei, that's how well he knew Siruko-san by now, so he followed up immediately. "Shut up, don't apologize. I'd always make time for you, you know that." The teacher said quietly. "We're friends, aren't we?"

Siruko's pretty lips lifted up in one corner wistfully. "Yeah."

The conflict of Sensei liking that smile versus the painful confirmation that they'll only ever be friends clenched Sensei's heart tight. "Then, good night Siruko-san. Ja na, mata ne.”

"Bye bye. Thank you, Sensei."

Sensei lay awake the whole night, until dawn came and the golden rays of the sun filter through his windows. It's like this every time, and Sensei should have been used to it, but he's not. He let the pain wash over him, thinking he might not be a sadist like what people think, but instead he might actually be masochistic.

But he'll be alright. It was just death by a thousand cuts.

The third time, or he's not sure since it's been so long enough that he's not keeping count anymore, it was Siruko-san's birthday. He had just finished streaming Minecraft, and he put the Bintroll stream on background while he got something to drink. He didn't notice at first, but he knew something was wrong. Siruko-san was good at pretending, sometimes too good, so it's no surprise if the listeners didn't hear it, if even his own friends didn't know. But Sensei knew, heard that off-note, that slightly forced laugh, slightly louder, more exaggerated reaction. From the way Bintroll reacted too, they knew it, or at least have noticed it enough, but the show must go on. It's a livestream, and it's an unwritten rule among streamers that no one should break down during that. He knows that Siruko-san is happy, he really is, but something was missing. Or someone.

"Call me when you're done streaming." He typed on LINE, knowing Siruko-san is checking his phone. Not for his message of course. Never for his.

They finished the stream without reading the superchat donation, partly because Siruko-san was tired laughing and talking from the stream, but Sensei knew the other reason. He waits, but he also knew Siruko-san wouldn't call, because he doesn't like imposing on someone, troubling someone for something he thinks he can endure, even if it breaks his heart. He's too kind to do that, even if that was dumb. How many times has Sensei told him it was okay to rant to him, to call him when he's in trouble, or even when he's just bored? How many times has Siruko-san done it too, but each time Sensei has to reassure him that it was okay, he's not disturbing, that Sensei wants to listen to him. Siruko-san is truly dumb and masochistic, keeping everything to himself until he explodes with it, and there will be ugly messy crying and moping for days and drowning in alcohol and not leaving his bed. Sensei knew him too well. And if it was in Sensei's power to, if not protect him from things that can hurt him, then to pick him up when he's down, Sensei will do it, no questions asked.

Maybe Sensei is dumb and masochistic too, he realizes, as he dialed Siruko-san's number.

After 14 rings, during which Sensei is thinking of a hundred and one ways of killing Mintosu even if he has grown to also be close and endeared to the guy thanks to Siruko-san's efforts of getting the three of them to play together, Siruko finally picked up. He's silent, but Sensei knew he's there, and it just meant he wasn't in the mood to talk. Sensei could pick up the low sounds of sniffing and knew he was crying. Damn it. Sensei could take a million broken bones if it was just him, but just a hint of Siruko-san hurting and his knees lose strength.

"What happened." He demanded, but nothing. Silence answered him. Sensei waits and waits and waits. It always took so much coaxing, because no matter how friendly and sunny and cheerful Siruko-san always appears to be, he's an introvert who has insecurities deeper than the ocean and a long list of anxieties making it hard for him to open up sometimes. But Sensei is a patient man. He's already broken the walls Siruko built, passed through the mazes of Siruko's brilliant mind and fragile heart, and if Siruko-san makes more walls, Sensei won't ever be tired of breaking it down. Because beyond those walls is a precious, child-like heart that only wanted to be loved and accepted and happy, and it was very simple to give those things to him. Sensei knew he could give it.

"Minben-san."

"What."

"He…" Sensei sees it without really seeing it. The opening of the waterworks, tears flowing down. "He promised.. he'd come."

And Sensei understood immediately. Goddamnit, that fucking idiot. He could picture Siruko waiting, checking his phone from time to time, waiting for a Discord notification. Smiling and laughing as people wish him happy birthday, and it makes him happy, it really does, but it's different.

"Sensei.. you're really smart, right? You're love-sensei, right? So can you tell me…" Siruko sobbed, breaking Sensei's heart to a million pieces. "...what do you do.. when the one who means the most to you… is the one who didn't show?"

Sensei held his breath. Horror games he can do. Minecraft he can do. This? He doesnt fucking know how to fix this.

"Sensei… thank you by the way… you… you gave me superchat even in the middle of you streaming…You always do that, and it’s really thoughtful...  that was really nice… thank you."

And Siruko dropped the call. Sensei clenched his fist, wanting to punch something. It was 4am, but he moved into motion almost without thought. Bought a train ticket to Tochigi and boarded the first train as soon as the station opened, carrying nothing but his wallet and phone and earpods. It took about two hours, and he stared as the view changed from high-rise skyscrapers to something a little more green, a little more rural. He took a cab to the address he knew so well; he's been here so many times that he's already a familiar face.

"Sensei..?" Hakotaro-san opened the door, surprised, but also relieved. He let him in without so much ado, even though it was too early. Sensei realized it's a Sunday, and it's still breakfast time. It's a weird time to come over a house, but maybe Hakotaro-san has an idea of why he came. He said "ojamashimasu” and took off his shoes.

Papataro and Mamataro were surprised to see him, but they welcomed him with warm smiles, asked him how he'd been, took him to the dining table and forced him to eat breakfast with them. Sensei really likes them--this house, their family--and it makes him miss his own back in Hokkaido. He apologized for coming unannounced and gave them the big cake he bought in haste because it's rude to come to a house without a gift, and they waved him off, telling him it's alright, although Siruko-chan's still in his room, probably still asleep. It's not a surprise to Sensei because he knows Siruko-san doesn't eat breakfast. He chatted with them and felt warm, because they treat him like he's a part of the family too, and Sensei knows where Siruko-san got his kindness from. Siruko and Hakotaro got their looks from their father, but they both got their mother's sweet smile.

He waited in the living room and scratched Baron absently as Hakotaro-san came up to his Niisan's room, and Sensei chuckled when he heard Siruko's loud, panicked shriek. Sensei liked cats more than dogs, but Baron is a good good boy. He's a bit older now so he's calmer and more domestic than most dogs, and Sensei loves his quiet company. Hakotaro-san came again and brought him snacks and a glass of water, and Baron followed his master and jumped on his lap like he's still a puppy even though he's bigger now. They sat in silence, because while they're friendly enough to have exchanged banter or two, Sensei's actually a bit more quieter and serious off the camera, off his online persona. The silence was actually nice, comfortable even, because it gave Sensei time to think and evaluate. Why the hell did he come here so impulsively?

"You would have been better for him, Sensei."

Sensei almost choked on his own spit, actually coughed a bit at that statement, shock covering his face. Hakotaro-san continued to brush Baron's fur as if he just announced the weather and not like he just delivered the finishing blow to Sensei's already pining heart.

"I--uh… what?"

"Don't get me wrong. I love Minben-san too, and I can see how he tries his best to make Niisan happy, and I'm supportive of them. But Minben-san…. He's too independent, too free. Niisan's better off with someone he can spoil but also someone who spoils him. Niisan likes to be needed, but also is needy himself. I know Minben-san is trying, and I know he loves Niisan with all his heart, but if it was you, Sensei, it would have been easier. Less clashing. You're both equals in a sense that Niisan can give and take, that… forgive my Kansai metaphor for the lack of better expression, Niisan can be boke but also tsukkomi. You balance each other in a way."

And the truth is, Sensei did think that too. It's not that Mintosu-san is a bad guy, but he's someone that was already happy and content by playing games, and complicated things like emotions and things like that is not his forte. He's been friends with the guy long enough to know who he actually is even off the camera. Mintosu did not strike him as someone who could be raw and open, which is something you need for a relationship to work. And Mintosu also seemed that kind of guy who would feel confined with the commitments of a relationship.

Mintosu-san is a great guy, a really good person, but he's not a natural lover. He's tough and doesn't mince his words and doesn't do the hearts-and-flowers and the feelings thing, and that's not wrong, but sometimes Sensei thinks he has a better relationship with his fans and listeners than with Siruko-san. He was always more considerate of them, kinder, gentler, and maybe it’s because that kind of human interaction is simpler and easier.

But that doesn't mean Mintosu didn't love Siruko. Heck, it's a testament to how much he loves Siruko-san because he always tries hard to be what he's not. Sensei knew that Mintosu-san tries his best to remember important events, to send gifts and take Siruko out on dates, to be more generous with his I love yous. Mintosu-san is good for Siruko-san; he knows Siruko-san full well and understands every part of him, and they can be a really good team when they try hard enough. They have this shared history that Sensei can't ever replicate. Sensei acknowledged, respected, and supported their relationship with all his being; heck, he's even the one that triggered it into happening. 

And Sensei hated himself everyday for this, but he wished he was Mintosu. That if one thing had been different in this universe, he wished he could have been what Siruko's heart wanted. That he was the one who received Siruko's kind, loving smiles, who got to make love to him, who got to give him the happiness he very much deserved. Limone-sensei would have been so good to Siruko-san, would have given him the attention he craved and the reassurances he needed. He would have been strict to him because Siruko tended to forget everything when he's so addicted to a game, would have crashed his stream to scold him to eat, but he also would have given in to Siruko's whinings, because there's very little Sensei can deny Siruko-san. He already does all of these things, but only as a friend, never more than that. He would have given him the universe if Siruko-san asked for it. 

But Sensei had no time to indulge this self-pity, because his universe came out of the room, covered head to toe with a soft, velvety brown blanket. His beautiful purple eyes were puffy from crying, and he looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep. Sensei wanted to bundle him up and just envelop him in his arms to protect him from anything that might hurt him, but in this universe, he didn't have the right to do that.

"What are you doing here?" Siruko-san pouted. Sensei wondered if he was disappointed that it wasn't his lover that came to surprise him. His voice was hoarse, either from streaming or crying, Sensei didn't know, but he hated it. Hated that he couldn’t take care of Siruko-san the way he wanted to, because in this universe, Siruko’s heart wants what it wants, and that was Mintosu-san. 

"I brought you cake. Happy late birthday."

"I don't like sweet things though." Siruko-san sat between his brother and Sensei and casually placed his head on Sensei's shoulder, because they're close enough friends he could do that. Totally platonic, to Sensei's disappointment, but Sensei let him. That's one thing about Siruko-san, he's clingy and surprisingly craves touch. Sensei draped one arm over him and pats Siruko's shoulder, and he thought about where he finds this easy to do, Mintosu would have been repulsed yet forced to give this level of affection. He felt bad for Mintosu-san, but not that much, because at least Siruko's heart belonged to him.

Sensei rolled his eyes in response. "Yeah, like I didn't know that. It was lemon cake."

Siruko snorted playfully underneath the blanket. "Because it's from you?"

"What else?"

The three of them sat in silence for a while. It should have been weird but it wasn't, at least not to them. Sensei decided to break the silence and finally reveal what he came here for. His exhaustion suddenly washed over him--a few intermittent naps on the train wasn't enough--but he had to do this. He'll never let Siruko-san cry again, not if he can help it.

"Go take a bath and wear some nice clothes, bakatare. We're going somewhere."

Siruko sat up like a puppy who had been called to attention. "Where?"

"To Nara, to Mintosu-san's house."

He saw the hurt and betrayal and refusal in Siruko's eyes, but there was also this hope and desire that made Sensei feel what he's doing is right even though it's not what he wants to do at all. "I-it's okay Sensei," Siruko denied, "I-it's really okay and I… I'm used to this. Minben-san texted me that he forgot and got tired from streaming so he fell asleep, that's all. You don't have to do this and I… I'm fine."

Sensei stared at him hard and Siruko flinched. "There's no reason to go there, and besides, I'm sure he's busy, and--"

"Does there need to be a reason?!" Sensei suddenly raised his voice, and he stilled himself. Sometimes it's so hard to control his emotions, and he's so so angry but he can't be, because there was no black and white here. He can't blame Mintosu for unknowingly hurting Siruko because he had never been that kind of guy anyway, one who prepares romantic stuff to surprise his lover on his special day. It was an honest mistake on his part, and even that was just, so Mintosu. And he also can't blame Siruko-san for this, for expecting something more, because it was his right as a boyfriend, his right to get the simple happiness he wanted. Sensei took a deep breath to calm himself. Here were two people who loved each other but sucked at showing it, and if all they needed was a little push, a little nudge to the right direction, then Sensei was willing to make himself fall apart just so they could both be whole.

"You want to see him, don't you?" Sensei said in a hushed voice. He glanced at Hakotaro-san who didn't interfere and made a reaction, just watching them. "If you want to see him, that's good enough reason, Siruko-san. And when you see each other, you'll fight and be at each other's throat, but also make up and forgive, because you can't let this misunderstanding be unresolved. It'll be a festering wound, and I can only see this incident as something that'll come back and bite you in the future. I know both of you too well because you are my friends. I know you, Siruko-san, that you'll say you're fine now but you'll never forget this, and you'll bring this up against him every time you see the chance, because you were hurt and you'll want him to acknowledge it. And I know Mintosu-san, that he'll get sick of it because he can't tolerate your emotional needs, he'll push you away and turn the blame on you again like he always does, because he has always been a prideful person. And you're both idiots but you're both not wrong for being what you both are. So if I have to drag you to Mintosu-san's house by stuffing all 175cm of you in a suitcase, I swear I will, because you both need to talk."

Siruko freezed, processed everything that Sensei said, and stormed back to his room and shut his door with a loud bang, because for all their silly fighting, Siruko is too similar to Mintosu sometimes, both idiots who likes to bottle their emotions inside of them, and when confronted with it, will run away from it. Hakotaro-san hummed in consideration, making Sensei jump a little because he had honestly forgotten about him.

Sensei cleared his throat. "What?"

"You're right, of course, but I still stand by what I said. Their chemistry is too… explosive, and that can be a good or a bad thing. Their similarities make it stable, but both being water signs, one moment they can be as peaceful as a lake, then the next it's a raging tsunami. Them knowing each other so well works for them, because they have their own level of understanding no one can reach, but that also means they know each other's buttons and what ticks each other off, and they both use it against the other. I don't like that Niisan always has to apologize first and he just goes along with what Minben-san wants so they don't clash, but I also don't like Minben-san being forced to go out of his comfort zone to be this person Niisan needs him to be. Their love can be something so very beautiful, but it can also easily turn into something toxic.

On the other hand, while you and Niisan are very different from each other, it's complementary. What the other lacks, one makes up. People have this misconception that Niisan is outgoing, but he just finds it easier to make friends on the internet. So while you, Sensei, is extroverted, it complements Niisan being introverted. Niisan's patience can keep up with your need to try new things, and your ability to back down works with Niisan's need to be right all the time. You're fire and water and it shouldn't work but it can because you're both emotionally mature and flexible enough to balance each other out."

Sensei didn’t get scared easily, but now he did, because his palms are getting clammy and there might be actual goosebumps at his nape. Was… Hakotaro-san reading his mind? Did Hakotaro-san… know he's been harboring these feelings for his older brother all this time? He knew the younger one had always been observant and intelligent like his Niisan, but to this extent? Sensei resisted the urge to shiver.

"Why… are you telling me this?"

Hakotaro-san shrugged. "No reason. I know Minben-san and Niisan will get through this, especially with you always helping their relationship. I want what's best for my Niisan, but I also want what makes him happy. Give me a moment to talk some sense to him. He'll only go to Nara if you come with him, so, yoroshiku onegaishimasu." Hakotaro-san bowed slightly and Sensei was a second too late to return it, mind reeling from the analysis the blonde just revealed, and by the time he recovered, Hakotaro was already in his brother's room, and he's left alone with Baron and Pii-chan in the living room.

It took everything in Sensei to not get undone in that living room, to kill the rising hope in his heart that maybe, maybe he has a chance. Maybe he should just let this incident go, so that if their relationship sours, Sensei can swoop in and show Siruko-san how to be properly loved and treated. If they break up, Mintosu will be free of this emotion thing that shackles him and do what he loves the most, sometimes more than his own boyfriend, which is gaming, and that would be best for him. And Siruko, sweet, dearest Siruko, won't have to settle with the scraps of affection and attention Mintosu-san gives him, because Sensei can do it. Sensei can come to every one of his birthday stream and be touchy and affectionate and open, and he can love him more than this. 

Gods, he wished he was a horrible enough person so he can be capable of ruining a relationship.

An hour passed, and Hakotaro-san told him his Niisan was calm now, so Sensei entered his room. Siruko, who looks like a burrito with that blanket bundling him, glared angrily at him, but without any heat. Sensei settled on his gaming chair.

"You're mean." And the buriko ojiisan actually stuck his tongue out at him, the nerve.

He's mean?! As if Mintosu didn't bully him every time. Tch. "So?"

"Do you even know how far Tochigi and Nara is? It's like 6 hours away by train."

"And if your dramatic ass didn't throw up a tantrum, we would have been in the train by now."

"See?? Meanie!!" Siruko accused, turning his back to Sensei. "I'm not sure I wanna talk to him. I don't even know what to say to him."

And Sensei thought, this is it. He could say that they didn't have to go, and let this misunderstanding pile up with their other issues until it blows in their face. But he glanced at their rare framed picture on Siruko's desk, with their wide smiles, Mintosu's arm draped over Siruko's shoulder while holding a peace sign and Siruko looking at Mintosu with such adoration in his eyes, and Sensei can’t. 

"I'm sure you can think of something during that stupid 6 hour ride."

And Siruko looked back at him, gave him this soft, grateful smile and said okay, and Sensei tasted cotton balls in his mouth. If only Siruko knew how awful Sensei's thoughts were, he wouldn't be so trusting of him. Sensei's stomach is filled with gravel, and it makes his body heavy and sick with something medicine can’t cure. A martyr, that’s what he was, or a living thing but dead inside. Loving Siruko-san was the most exquisite form of self-destruction.

And in the train ride to Nara, where Siruko spent most of the time sleeping on Sensei's shoulder, Sensei should be feeling happy with this moment of just the two of them. But he didn’t.

It just felt like death by a thousand cuts.

And later, Mintosu, who did this stupid perfect impression of a fish out of the water with his surprise to see them in his apartment, jaw dropped and eyes wide, let them in. Siruko was silent and kept biting his lips, and Mintosu was genuinely confused, and Sensei would like to punch them both and go home. So Sensei acts like a mediator, almost like a marriage counselor, and at first Mintosu and Siruko refuse to let their emotions out, but Sensei shouts at them that he didn't come all the way from Tokyo for this bullshit, so they let their frustrations out and shout at each other, and Mintosu almost storms out in anger but Sensei doesn't let him, and Siruko cries this angry tears but Sensei forces him to calm down, and they both manipulate each other's emotions and are both stubborn and vindictive, but in the end they come to an agreement to be more understanding and more open with their feelings and with a promise to always talk and communicate, and they make up. Sensei faked forgetting to make an important phone call and stepped outside to give them some privacy, because the last thing he needed was to see them kiss in front of him. 

At midnight they went out and ate the best ramen in town and it was really delicious, and they traded jokes and laughed and talked about their favorite things. Sensei slept on the couch while the couple slept in Mintosu's room, and Sensei didn’t really get any sleep, because he's busy trying not to imagine what they must be doing on the other side of the apartment, and hating himself for being unable to be an awful person because once again, he probably has contributed more to this relationship more than any outsider has or needed to, and he tries to be happy for them because they are happy and in love.

Sensei asked the Mintosu's ceiling if he'll be alright and it said, "I don't know."

The last time, it wasn't really the last, but it did feel like the end. It's been more than a year, and one day, as they finished shooting a video, Mintosu DM-ed Sensei.

It's not that unusual, since Mintosu and Sensei did develop their own friendship outside of their collabs, partly because of Siruko. Sensei kind of became their go-to person when they're in trouble with their relationship, and it kills Sensei but also makes him feel like he's not completely a terrible person if he was able to help them out.

It was rare though, for Mintosu to reach out first. So Sensei voice-called him, partly because he wanted to rest his fingers, and partly because he'll be able to hear Mintosu's emotions through his voice.

"Moshi moshi Sensei!"

"Hai hai, mosh mosh, doushita doushita."

"Ano.. I was kind of wondering if… how do you say this… if you had any advice for me..?"

That was weird. Mintosu, unsure of himself? At loss for words? Is there a zombie apocalypse outside his door right now?

"For what?"

"Coz I… um… I'm planning to ask Siruko-san to marry me."

And the world stopped spinning. Time stood still, and the world turned into shades of gray. Sensei’s heart gets caught up in his throat, and his insides were being turned into mush.

"...Sensei?" 

Sensei shook his head to clear his mind, but it's so hard to breathe. He regretted voice calling now, because it's so hard to talk when his throat felt like acid. "C...Congratulations, teme!! W-wow this is such a big.. move, like wow, really. Dude, congrats…"

"Thanks Sensei! You're actually the third person I told, after my family and my best friend. I'm kinda nervous and excited for it!"

"Y-yeah… I bet you are… Listen, can I go to the toilet for a bit?"

"Sure, iterrashai!"

Sensei ran to the toilet and hurled the dinner he ate, his hands shaking. He splashed water on his face to calm himself down. He'd seen this coming, taught himself how to react when he hears the news, trained himself to accept it, but it still came crashing down on him like boulders on a landslide. This was his worst nightmare coming true.

"I’m back."

"Osu!"

"So… advice huh?"

"Yeah! The ring stuff, my bestfriend can take care of that, coz I have zero knowledge in that area hahaha. But I still don't know how to ask him. Should I go for the dinner style? Or the… blegh, ring on champagne thing? Coz I really dont wanna have to, thinking about it makes me puke, blegh."

And Sensei felt horrible for this, he really did, but he told Mintosu… what he let himself imagine in the middle of the night when he lets the devil in him take over, when he would revel in his deepest, darkest fantasies, things he would have done for Siruko-san. How he would have proposed. 

Siruko-san deserved something grand, but also private. Sensei would have made a scavenger hunt for him, but one Siruko can do in his house because he doesn't like going out, so he'll need to ask Hakotaro-san for help. It's perfect for him, since he loves games, and he's good at solving problems and figuring things out. The next puzzle pieces will come from Bintroll, and Siruko-san can VC or chat with them about it. It will give him time to spend with the people he loves the most, and when he looks back at this memory, Siruko-san would love that they were involved. The last puzzle piece would take him to a hotel though, for their privacy. Sensei would have pulled out all stops for him, rose petals and candles everywhere (he leaves this part out because he doesn’t think Mintosu-san will do this, nor does it suit him), and he imagined Siruko-san confused but super touched at the romantic gesture, and then Sensei would come out and give him an embarrassing but heartfelt speech about how much he loves him and wants to spend forever with him, that Siruko was his lifeline (like the character they both like in APEX), that a man like Sensei can only love someone that greatly once, so Siruko was his one and only. Sensei imagined Siruko-san getting a bit emotional with the speech and cracking a joke to lighten the mood, and then he'd fall down on one knee and tell him how he loves everything about Siruko-san, his good leadership and charisma that makes everyone around him respect and treasure him, his supportive side that lifts everyone around him up, and even his demanding, whiny side that makes you wanna scold him but also indulge him. 

And they would have been good for each other. They compensate for what each other doesn't have. They bring out the best in each other. Where Sensei was sometimes emotionally distant, Siruko's empathy and warmth fills that. Where Siruko was full of insecurities and anxieties, Sensei was the confidence and the daring that would support him. They both have a loud personality, which, in a non-arrogant way, has this center-of-attention thing that charms people so well, but also, they both have a side that sometimes hides in the background blending in quietly, and that's what make it's so balanced, because when one roars, the other one knows how to shut up, and vice versa. They can be both assertive and analytical, but they're also both attentive and generous. Sure, they would have had some friction, but they were both understanding enough to have handled it. It would've been sweet, if it could've been him. It would've been fun, if Sensei was the one.

They would have been as natural and beautiful as the purple-blue daybreak sky.

But it wasn't. In this world, it was Mintosu that Siruko wanted and loved. Mintosu who gets to wake up in the morning next to him, who got to cook curry for him and take care of him, who got to hold him in his arms. And they still worked, despite the seemingly destructive fights, because they were proof that if two people tried hard enough, they could make it work. Siruko learned how to assert his opinions and call out Mintosu for his bullshit, and Mintosu learned how to listen and be more showy with his affection. They still have their worse moments, and sometimes they both treat their issues the same way: either pretending it didn't exist even if it bothered them, or giving the other the cold silent treatment, or have screaming fights where they throw their words like knives, and on the worst ones, someone has to interfere, most times (to his agony), it was Sensei who did. But they pulled through by some miracle, and Sensei was happy for them, he really is. They make a good couple when they actually cooperate, and Sensei wouldn’t have approved of any other man other than Mintosu-san for Siruko-san.

And Mintosu-san actually did follow Sensei's advice, to his surprise. Sensei volunteered to make the scavenger hunt for him because that's not Mintosu's strength, but he helped and made an effort to be involved in the process. There were no roses or candles or long speeches, only the few words of: "Siruko-san, I want you to be my partner in everything; in gaming and in life. Marry me." And Siruko didn't believe him at first and thought it was a prank, but when he saw Minben-san was serious for once, he dived into Minben-san's arms and shouted “Yeeees!” And Mintosu-san almost drops the ring but he was able to catch Siruko, and they laughed while their eyes got a bit moist and they spent the whole night reveling in each other's presence and owning each other in all senses. Limone-sensei knew this because they both told him, and he congratulated them sincerely and joked about buying them PC gear for their wedding gift, and later finally let himself cry for the first time.

That was months ago. Sensei's now dusting off his black suit and adjusting his navy blue tie while sitting on his chair, waiting for the wedding ceremony to start. There were two aisles that meet in a center altar, where the officiant is already on standby. Sensei was one of the few lucky people invited in the small ceremony, as usually most people attended the reception instead. Both Mintosu and Siruko wanted him to come, as they said they both owe their relationship to him. Sensei couldn't say no even if he tried, of course. Some good part of him was still proud at what he's done to help, even if his heart dropped to his stomach and shattered to a million pieces at the thought of attending the wedding he very much wanted to be his.

The grooms arrived and walked the aisle, but of course Sensei was only looking at Siruko-san. He was beautiful, with his purple hair combed well and there were no longer dark shadows in his eyes. Not that he has ever been any less beautiful to Sensei, because Sensei found his tired or drunk state equally cute, but this, his wide smile full of nervousness and excitement, his purple eyes shining with glee, it was too much for Sensei, because it wasn't meant for him. He choked on bitter bile and coughed, and beside him Shoichi side-eyed him worriedly. He was the only one who knew, of course. Sensei couldn't have confided in Hanachan; he was already too busy with his own things to think about, and plus, he wouldn’t understand why Sensei backed off. He would have urged Sensei to pursue Siruko-san. Shoichi only knew because he and Sensei went out eating one day and ended up in a bar, and Sensei couldn't hold his alcohol well and accidentally ranted. Shoichi promised he'd never tell anyone, and Sensei knew Shoichi also wanted to ask Sensei why he never tried, but the editor didn’t, only offered silent consolation like a brother. It helped him get through the pain and the heartache, but it never fully healed. This kind of pain lasts a lifetime, because the only love that lasts is unrequited love.

And as they exchanged vows, Sensei tried to let go. He's known for a long time now, what love really means. It meant making difficult, painful choices for the happiness of another person, more than your own. Loving Siruko was the most beautiful and tragic thing he's ever done, but it was okay. He sees Mintosu gaze at Siruko with the same loving eyes he has, and that was good enough. Perhaps such a great love like Sensei had was never meant to be returned, but it will be alright.

And when they kissed, Sensei thought it was okay. People fall in love with people they can't have all the time.

He'll be alright. It was just death by a thousand cuts.

And this story did have a happy ending, just not for him.

The end.

Ren’s RANT that you don’t have to read:

About the story!

Please don't hate Minsan. I love that guy so much and even though him forgetting birthdays is almost a canon-like thing he can do, my good friend Hotaru (who likes to pretend she is Minsan's wife) pointed out that Minben-san doesn't seem like a person who would forget someone's birthday especially if it was someone special to him. He'd most likely buy you a present, although he might forget to give it to you on your actual birthday. 😂😂😂 and that's okay, it was an honest mistake on his part, that's the reason why Sensei wouldn't punch him and Siruko-san forgave him easily. It's just a Minsan thing and I love him.

I also want to point out that Minsan is also emotionally intellectual in a sense that he analyzes feelings and emotions very well, and if you watch his streams he actually has a side to him that's good at self-introspection. We just think he's not the type to show his vulnerable self, and that's why he doesn't really show up much in Bintroll livestreams, because he's more comfortable with gaming than casual chatting, and that's okay. Please don't think I don't ship MinSiru too; I was the biggest MinSiru fan and I still am, and I have probably influenced so many to their ship too. I like their dynamics as well, but as someone who has watched Minben-san for quite a bit of a long time, lately I realized that when it comes to him, Mintosu x Fans are the true canon ship. If you watch his streams closely, you'll know how much he cares about his listeners and really truly genuinely enjoys his interactions with them. He's a complex man; he has different sides of him in the Hanae channel, Bintroll channel, and his own channel, and if you watch him more, you'll fall in love with how close he is to his listeners. That's why I think Mintosu x Fans is canon www (ship MinRen for world peace and clear skin!!) (Ren who imagines herself with Minsan more than Minsan with Siruty)

I see Mintosu as someone who cannot be tied down by a relationship because that’s not him, and that’s okay because you can already see his happiness by gaming, and I love him for that.

This fic is controversial (and that's why it took me a full week to decide whether to publish it) in a sense that I've given some bad points about MinSiru. I did give them some good points, but since it's Sensei POV, it came across as sad. But just because it would be difficult doesn't mean it wouldn't work. Trust me, I'm in a relationship with someone who's almost like Min-san in personality, but we've been together for almost 3 years now. I used to think Siruko-san was a saint for enduring all Mintosu-san's trolls, coz if that was me, I would be annoyed, but there's a reason why Mintosu only does it to Siruko; it's because he's the most comfortable with Siruko3. Siruko-san is patient and understanding enough to deal with Minsan's quirks, and Minsan is also loves his company. They are more similar than people think, and that's why it's easy for them to be in sync. It'll be difficult, but it'll work. Believe me.

LimoSiru rant:

I think I’m getting better at writing angst wwww it’s just sad because if one really watched closely all four channel’s livestreams and videos, they’d see LimoSiru is beautiful too. They may not have had shared history and sexual tension, but it’s obvious how Siruko-san really supports Sensei in everything, and Sensei in return supports Bintroll even if he didn’t have to, and that’s beautiful.

I think part of the reason why I ship LimoSiru is because they make it so easy for me. It's not my fault when they are the ones who make all these cute, flirty interactions. I've started shipping them since the Fall Guys stream and have noticed how incredibly cute their relationship is. Imagine someone crashing your stream because he had this puzzle he couldn’t solve and because you’re so smart, he goes to you instead, not caring if you are currently streaming or if there are fans watching. Like seriously, Sensei, don’t you have friends? Or couldn’t you just LINE Siruko-san afterwards? If it seems like LimoSiru just happened all of a sudden, I assure you it didn’t. It’s always been there, and they started as friends too. It's almost enemies to friends to something more. In the Dedomental video, Mintosu asks Siruko-san where his name came from, although he jokes it’s kinda dirty. If you watch Sensei’s POV, you’ll hear him laugh and say “I think it’s a good name.” Siruko-san always crashes Sensei’s stream and Sensei does the same, and I found it especially cute when Sensei always superchats in Siruko’s birthday stream; first, when he played DbD with them, and on the second, isn’t it cute how he sends superchat while he’s streaming, like he doesn’t have to do that, but he did. Even in the Bintroll 100k stream, he helped them make the DbD minecraft after his own stream, and that was so on-the-spot, and the fact that he did that even though he could have just ended his stream and rested, is very thoughtful. And have you watched that sudden stream that took our wigs off? Bintroll had just received their silver play and moments later Sensei wanted a stream with Siruko-san, when he could have just congratulated them on Twitter or LINE. The conversations, gods they sound like two people who were in the early stages of dating, and it felt like we listeners were third-wheelers. They learned their lesson on stream #2 because the conversations were more proper and they kept themselves in check, but that raw, unfiltered, natural first stream was everything. I’ve always had so little content for LimoSiru and even if they didn’t do that I would have been happy, but now with that big, fat LimoSiru official thumbnail there, I have died and ascended to heaven. (As of the release of this post, they have interacted almost everyday for a week, and I don't know what to do with all these interactions! I've been so used to little content and now I'm just… dead)

But not everyone ships like me, I guess, one who can ship anything and everything equally. At the end of the day, nothing is canon. That’s the real angst in this post, hahahaha. I know the characters in my mind are different from the people who livestreams in real time, no matter how much I always try to keep the characterization close. So let’s just enjoy supporting them in our own ways.

Thank you for reading! I love you~~

#Bintrollfanfic

[rendezvousrenjun]

ring ring rejection | three

img // au masterlist // prev // next // ✰ pairing :  highschool!renjun x reader (+ dreamies + best friend!mark) ✰ genre : fluff + barely any angst ✰  word count : 2.7k Sometimes when the right people meet at the right time things between them escalate naturally. Renjun was scared, no, terrified, that you two clicked right away. It’s never this easy. Usually it takes time to develop relationships, but he felt comfortable. There was nothing he could pinpoint about you that outshined, if there was, maybe Renjun would have been the one to approach you sooner. He regretted it, really-- being somewhat rude and falling for his own false assumptions towards you. 

So, maybe you are special. A special kind of friend. Chemistry? A spiritual connection? It doesn’t matter what it was. Because Renjun never thought that you needed to change one bit; subconsciously he had already integrated you into his life. 

It was the day after you two had met in the little cafe near the school. Oddly enough, for no reason in particular, he asked Jaemin to go to class earlier with him. Was he excited to see you again? He didn’t know. He didn’t know until you walked through the door.

“Y/n!!!” He didn’t know why he was so keen on greeting you now. But seeing you smile at him again like you did yesterday reassured him.  To say Jaemin and Mark were taken aback by the way you two started to act would be an understatement. How could people who looked like they were completely incompatible yesterday, look like they knew what cereal the other preferred today?

“That’s what I’m saying it’s weird how you say you both rejected each other and nOw all of a sUDden it looks like I’m being replaced” After school ended Jaemin had asked Renjun to walk him home to figure things out for himself. “Like how did that even happen? Make it make sense junnie.”  “What’s there to make sense? Can’t I have friends other than the two of you?” “Ya!” Jeno’s eyes enlarge while he raises his wrist to suggest playfully hitting Renjun. He decided to tag along too when he saw the two of them walking out from the gate. He retracts his arm as his eyes crease into a smile. “Renjun don’t forget you still owe me-- Jaemin you should’ve seen how Renjun planned an entire escape route; he even asked me to wait in the cafe and pull him out if something bad happened but he completely forgot about me.” “As expected from our junnie--” Jaemin was able to make out after throwing his head back in laughter and disbelief, earning an eye roll from Renjun. “Yea yea whatever.” 

“From now on just ring me up whenever you want, I’m glad you’re in my life now.”  Although Renjun was the one who told you to ring him up, he ended up being the first one to call.  [7:00PM, Wednesday; 36 days after rejecting each other]

The twigs of the trees outside were scratching against the kitchen window. Renjun sat in the middle of his dining room table, eating the cut up apple he made for himself as a light snack. His parents were gone due to a complicated business trip and he has the whole house for himself. Initially he was extremely ecstatic at the idea of having alone time; to shower as long as he wanted, eat two packs of ramen without being scolded, everything would be calm and peaceful. But this being the first night of being alone, his skin began to crawl with a different found anxiety. 

He gets up to turn on every single light in the house, not even the bathroom is left alone. Does it ease him up? Barely.

Knock Knock Knock.

Renjun looks over at the living room window to see a man looking right at him. He immediately rushes to the kitchen again. The area he lives in was known for business men and scammers trying to contact residents. He just didn’t know how to act rationally and simply shoo them away now.

“Oh my god I’m going to die” 

He grabs a knife from the drawer and holds it to his chest, with his small plate of apple slices and his phone in the other hand. It didn’t help that the man kept knocking at the window, with loud “hellos” following up, knowing Renjun was home. The next thing he knew, the kitchen lightbulb was flickering and it went out with a pop.

“aaaAA what the fucccc-” Renjun is running upstairs to his room and locking his door in a hot second. He fumbles with his phone to dial the first number that pops up in his head because honestly he just needs to facetime someone as soon as possible, and it just so happened to be you who texted him last about a math assignment.

Thankfully, you pick up right away.

“Renjun! Hello-” “Shhhh!!” Renjun whispers into the phone. The look on your face showing concern and perplexed amusement.  “What happened? Are you okay?” Your tone is softer now, abiding by Renjun’s instruction. “Don’t laugh at me okay?” His voice is a bit shaky and you nod your head at the camera, making your way to your room as well to remove all other distractions around you. “B-but there’s a scary man outside my house and I’m alone and I’m really scared and I think he’s an alien.” “Renjun you should call 119 what are you doing?!” Your voice is hushed but still strict and pushing.  “I might just be overreacting and I’m just really scared-- I even brought this knife with me I don’t even know…” He flips the camera screen to show you his kitchen knife that seemed too big for his little hands. “Hey hey it’s okay don’t worry, if anything happens to you I’ll be able to see it okay? You’re going to be fine Renjun.” “Sorry for calling you out of the blue, I don’t want to bother you--if you need to go somewhere I understand-” “Injunnie.” Renjun stops speaking to turn his attention to how you sweetly called him by his nickname. He can see your face in the warmly lit lighting of your bedroom, he finds it comforting. “I’m not going anywhere. Don’t worry about me worry about yourself first. Did you finish the homework?” “Uhh.. yea I did actually” “Well good for you then” “Do you still need help?” “Yea just a little-- wait I just realized did you call the man outside an alien? You believe in aliens?” “Yea? So what about it? You think it’s childish or something?” “No, actually I feel like they’re closer to us than we think. Think about it; there are so many other universes than ours they’re bound to exist right?” “Oh my gosh I was thinking the same thing! So let me tell you about how….”

Just like that Renjun was able to ease up. You two talked about conspiracy theories as he made his way on top of his bed, hugging the knife with a firm grasp and looking at you through the phone camera. Just like the cafe, time seemed to accelerate in Renjun’s company. You hadn’t notice what time it was until you asked Renjun what he thought the color of happiness would be and he didn’t respond right away. Looking at your phone screen, after leaving it on the side of your bed for awhile, you’re heart trembles in adoration for the boy who had fallen asleep while talking to you. His phone resting slightly in his hand, the camera pointed up from his chin. You could see how long his eyelashes were from this angle, or the way his mouth slightly opened while he slept. 

“Sleep well Renjun.”

 This time, you ended the call. 

As a thank you for staying with him over call for almost seven hours, Renjun decided he wanted to give you a gift. Well, maybe he just wanted to make friendship bracelets in general. It ended up taking longer than he anticipated because he wasn’t able to give you his thank you gift for a couple of weeks.  Long story short, he forgot to bring it to school often and he wanted to remake the bracelets so they were a prettier shade of yellow. 

Unfortunately for him, the day he actually brought it was the only day in the entire year you were absent. “Mark” he pats Mark’s shoulder in class, startling the older boy who was listening to music on full blast. Taking off one of the earbuds, Mark looks over at Renjun who’s biting his lip, eyes bright with anticipation. “What’s wrong Renjun?” “Renjun is curious about something!” cuts in Jaemin from the other desk, sliding next into your empty seat.  “Do you know where y/n is? Is she okay?” “OhhHHHhHhHhhhhhh, oh yea she didn’t make it today huh?” “What do you mean didn’t make it?” “She’s been trying to fight like a fever for the past few days, haven’t you guys like noticed? I guess she really needed to rest though, no need to worry.” “Ohh… okay tell her I said get better soon.” Renjun reverts back to his seat. “Tell her I’ll give her all the hugs she needs to keep her warm when she gets back.” Jaemin pouts in concern. “But wait- why don’t I just text her myself haha- WAIT junnie why don’t YOU just text her yourself???” “Actually guys, better yet- let’s visit her after school” Mark tries to calm down his shit-eating grin because he knows the best medicine for you now is to see lover-boy Renjun inside your own house. “Like, as a surprise?”  “Yea! She’ll totally love it! Trust me, I know how she is.” “Oh man sorry guys I can’t go. Jeno asked me to help during soccer practice today.” “It’s okay Jaemin, I’ll like tell y/n you said hi.” “ACtUally you should get RenjUn to tell her I said hi-” Renjun cuts him off by putting him in a headlock. “How mAny times did I say it’s not like that-” “Deny it all you want Renjun but the heart wants what it-”

Everything is drowned out by Mark’s laughter and the teacher giving the three of them a warning for being insanely loud in class, but what’s new?

Renjun had only seen the outside of your home from that one time he dropped you off. Entering it now, he feels as if you and your home have an uncanny resemblance. It was a different type of welcoming warmth he had grown accustomed to after befriending you. He understood how Mark grew so comfortable around you. It was right here. In the rug placed slightly off center of the living room. In the pretty off-white shade of the walls that had various writings and marks from the past. In the soft buzzing of a humidifier. Even the smell reminded Renjun of you. It was you.  “AuntieeEEEEeeee” Mark yelled after taking off his shoes and slipping on the slippers to make his way to the kitchen where your mom sat peeling garlic, leaving Renjun to follow suit.  “Mark! My favorite child!” Your mom straight up roasts you while you are still asleep, embracing Mark in a tight hug.   Renjun couldn’t help but think that even her voice sounded like you.  “I brought another friend of ours, this is Renjun.” Mark breaks away from the hug to reveal Renjun peaking from the entrance of the kitchen, going up to your mom and greeting her with his prince-like smile, which automatically charms her. “Wow I didn’t know y/n had such a handsome friend.”  Renjun becomes incredibly polite and bashful under your mom’s words, as Mark’s shit-eating grin returns. You know you’ll never hear the end of him claiming he’s the best wingman after all this.  “Allow me to finish cooking here, Mrs. y/l/n!” Renjun beams at your mom, persuading her to go and relax.  “I can help!” Mark attempts to walk to the stove to put a pot atop of it but your mom stops him and asks him to help her rearrange some old CDs and vinyls in the garage instead.  Your nose wakes up before the rest of your body because a pungent and aromatic soup flavor begins to fill your nostrils. Wrapping yourself entirely in your blanket, making space only for your face to poke out, you waddle out of your room, realizing you haven’t eaten the entire day.  What you see next has you rubbing your eyes a couple of times to make sure you weren’t dreaming.  There at the edge of your stove stood Huang Renjun with your mother’s apron, humming something incomprehensible, stirring the pot with a hand on his hip. The light of golden hour shining through one of the windows and onto him like a spotlight given from the heavens.  “Is this real” your groggy voice comes out deep and brash, causing Renjun to shriek and jump a little, turning to look at you with the soup spoon in his hand. Seeing you cocooned in your enormous blanket, a perplexed expression on your face, he can’t help but laugh at your state.  “OH MY GOD THIS IS REAL” you cover your face with your hand and dash into your room to clean up your appearance, despite the fact that the image of you as a cocoon has already been imprinted in Renjun’s mind. You could still hear his giggles after you shut the door and feel your heart combust. By the time you reenter the kitchen, Mark and Renjun are already eating the soup Renjun made. “Rise and shine dummyhead” Mark greets you and pats the seat next to him repeatedly for you to sit. You remain eye contact with Renjun as you sit down, him sitting across from you reminds you of the cafe meeting and a smile makes its way to your lips.  “You made me soup?” Your grin is still apparent in your voice as you eagerly try the soup for the first time. “Food always makes me feel better, Thank you Renjun.” “Awwwww how swEEt” Mark adds, but before you and Renjun could even process his words or react to him Mark cuts himself off, “Yo y/n do you remember Lucas??” “Oh my gosh, Yukhei??? Of course! I miss his dumbass!” “Whose Lucas?” Renjun interjects, looking at both of your faces silently asking for the two of you to include him too.  “He’s our friend from grade school, but he doesn’t go to our school now so we haven’t seen him in awhileeeee.” You disclose to Renjun, whose features soften. “Guess what? He like got a girlfriend!!”  “No wayyyyyyy I wanna meet her!” “Apparently she goes to our school, small world huh?” “OH! That reminds me…” Renjun catches both of your attention immediately, “the school is funding an art show this year, and guess who's the host?! Me! They were looking at my portfolio and the administrators asked me to help them host the entire thing!” “Renjun! I am so happy for you!” He smiles back at you, seeing the proud expression on both of your faces. “Dude is that what Jeno was talking about the other day? The guitar thing and like you right?” Mark takes another sip of soup from your bowl and raises his eyebrows for Renjun to continue talking about the show.  “Yea that’s right... Actually I asked Jeno to help me prepare something special for the end of the event for Yoojung.” Yoojung. You don’t think you’ll ever stop hearing her name bringing pulled up in conversation. Even in your own house. “cool cool cool” Mark awkwardly adds, “speaking of Yoojung, how’s tutoring her little brother?” “Oh you mean Jisung?” You almost spit out your soup at the sound of the name. “Park Jisung is Yoojung’s brother?????” “You know Jisung??” “Dude I used to tutor him back in the day what a coincidence how is he?? I would’ve never guessed Yoojung and him were related, they look nothing alike.” “He’s pretty chill I guess… I try to ask him questions about Yoojung lowkey but he literally does not know anything about his sister it’s funny.”  “AHahahaha--” You start actually choking on your soup mid-laugh, reaching over for your glass of water. Renjun attempts to move it to you and reach over to pat your back, but he stops himself after seeing Mark already doing so. Mark rubs and hits in between your shoulder blades, head tilting to check your red face, asking if you’re alright.

Renjun doesn’t understand why seeing Mark care for you like this makes him feel out of place. He doesn’t understand why it may have made him a little bit upset. 

#renjun #renjun x reader #renjun scenarios #renjun imagines #renjun soft hours #renjun soft icons #huang renjun #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct dream reactions #nct dream renjun #nct drabbles #nct ff #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fanfic #nct dream timestamps #mark lee #na jaemin #lee jeno #park jisung #mark lee scenarios #renjun fluff #renjun angst #nct fluff #nct angst #nct smut #nct fake texts #nct aus

[diabeticgirl4]

Taz crystal kingdom GN liveblog (pt 2!) \o/

I’m finally reading the rest of the GN aaaa! therefore liveblog thoughts will continue under the cut :’)

carey and magnus bonding over weapons and fighting is always super cute. bonus as it totally leads into magnus multiclassing as a rogue! 

also I didn’t mention it last liveblog, but noelle’s mini emoji screen? super adorable

literally the next page carey and magnus continue to bond over weapons in the background an it continues to be the cutest thing ever omg. gosh I love their friendship

ok merle picking up that crystal golem kravitz is a ghost (I mean. close enough) just based off it being spooky and the ball of light thing is actually pretty smart. I like that. good job merle.

NOELLE REFERENCING LICHES AAAAAA

(I’m still unclear whether she’s referencing barry who just went poof or lup still hiding in her umbrella or both, but I do like the fact that the umbrastaff is clearly visible in the next panel ;3c)

U P S Y

goodness gracious that is absolutely horrifying. 

GOODNESS GRACIOUS WHY IS UPSY /LIKE/ THAT

oh gosh why is the inside green ahhhhh I don’t like that

they cut lup scooting over to paralyzed taako and I’m very sad :(

dlkfjsldf kravitz making a pun and laughing about it omfg

(and taako being the only one to laugh along omFG)

INTERESTING so they cut like the entire krav fight.......... no tentacles :(

but like. it makes sense. I was def looking forward to the entire fight scene tho, there’s a Lot of good stuff in it :(

(also does this mean no garyl? lol I was looking forward to seeing garyl do Absolutely Nothing like he does in the podcast lmao)

KRAVITZ MY BELOVED

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fslkfjk kravitz tagging along in upsy is so funny omg

ohoho krav gets glowy ghost eyes, that’s a cool bit

Queen Morior......... interesting....... curious why they changed that, is there a copyright on Raven Queen that I’m missing? hm

carey bonding with kravitz over fighting I’m crying omg bless

YESSSSS IT’S THE MAGIC ROBOT FIGHT FRICK YESSSS

ngl I was very worried they’d cut that part, but man I’m so hyped to see magic brian and the others again

kravitz mistaking magic brian as taako’s ex I’m absolutely crying slfdkjf

“he’s not my ex!! he’s a virgo! are you insane?” I’M CRYING

(while idk about shipping-wise, I rly do love taako+magic brian’s dynamic against each other and think that would be a fun thing to explore as an au or something)

huh ok they rly speedran that fight huh

I was looking forward to seeing taako confused and attacking merle fjsldfj

KRAVITZ REAPING HOT DANG

taako “I’m looking...... respectfully...... [eyes emoji] oh boy he’s already too far gone lmao

noelle!! ;A;

oh gosh,,, noelle and there’s barry to the (not) rescue!... 

“everything is going to be okay!” oh barry......

I think I remember them goofing about “phandolin? nooooo we don’t know anything about that.........” in the podcast, but them taking it seriously and feeling Rly Bad about it feels more appropriate in the gn. like yeah these idiots are all goofs most of the time, but there’s still a whole lot of Serious Matter going on and it’s good to know THB can still take stuff seriously. idk. 

(it’s always good to have some angst, is what I’m saying lmao)

voltron reference \o/

“look at us! seven brave companions! once again charging into certain death to recover another... thing!” M E R L E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“there’s six of us....” AHHHHHHHH

(not if you include lup who’s technically there w them............... aaaaa)

kravitz getting distracted by taako is so hecking funny fsdjlkf

taako “death is our constant companion, but that’s probably not possible... or is it?” kravitz [already in deep contemplation]

fslkdjflks I can’t believe the boys are flirting and discussing their breakfast habits I’m absolutely crying

kravitz has lil fangs ahhh <3

yessss I was waiting for when krav would call out their death count

FIFTY SEHHH-VEHHNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“bringing you back with me does restore balance and order, taako. which... is more important than what I’d personally prefer” oh WORM [EYES EMOJI]

ahh ok there’s full skeleton kravitz, cool cool

welp there’s legion! bye kravitz! ngl I was almost expecting them to not go that quick-goodbye route since they gave krav a bunch more time in this arc. 

OH WORMMM THE CRYSTAL KINGDOM SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhh I was wondering how they’d do that

“I really wish I was a ro-” [eyes emoji] yknow I can’t remember if magnus ever alluded to wanting to be a rogue in the podcast before multiclassing, so I appreciate all the hints in the gn

(blue flame appears above taako) “that’s new. wonder what it is...” [immediately gets shot up next panel] lol I love how that’s exactly how it went in the podcast. 

omg????? taako rescuing magnus and casually chatting w him under the shield???? is so precious????? bless????

“so, how’s your day?” “I’ve had better, you?” “not bad, might have met someone!” “that’s nice.” “yeah, though he seems a little obsessed with his work.” I’M????????????

*kravitz appears* taako “:3?”

KRAVITZ APPEARS AN HE IMMEDIATELY ASKS TAAKO IF HE’S OK

holy shoot magnus inserting himself into taako/kravitz’s conversation ??taagnitz??

“hear that? he’s coming for you! ;)” “shut up!” I’M SCREAMING

kfsjlfjlks taakitz flirting during maureen’s emotional goodbye amazing

“will you tell julia I finished her chair?” ;_________;

fskljdflkds omg did upsy just kool-aid man into the room

I’m crying they change “he died” to “he escaped on a rocket” like why

ango hugging taako and taako patting his head is so soft and pure omg

CAREY/KILLIAN (btw do they have a ship name? sweet flips?) REUNION FT AN ACTUAL KISS, HEAVENS BLESS

taako “;3″ 

oh I didn’t even realize that they just skipped over magnus Eating the freakin philosopher’s stone and that whole removal process, hallefreakinlujah

also ango wanting to watch the relic disposal process?? [eyes emoji] is that just honestly curiosity or is it speedrunning his ‘the bureau is tampering w the relics’ suspicions?

THE SEVEN BIRDS PROPHECY I’M VIBRATING !!!!!

YO WHAT THE IPRE PATCHES AREN’T STATIC????

I’M???????????????????

??????????????????????

ok but the whole thing is it’s supposed to be staticked/that they can’t read it bc of the second voidfish (which they obv don’t know about yet) but the fact that we (the audience) can read it implies that they (the thb) can?? and I’m so ????

also is that the starblaster in the last panel :o

I’M SO 

AHHHHHHHHH

“the adventure zone the eleventh hour coming soon!” VIBRATES u guys have no idea how Hyped I am for the eleventh hour aaaaa

omg! they included a cool “making a page: script to final” process! that is so cool!

aaaa there’s so much behind the scene/process stuff I love!!!

the file name for krav’s scythe was “hottopicgothbird.psd” lmao amazing

ahh it’s so crazy looking thru the fanart and recognizing art styles of ppl I follow here lol

(still super sucks about the whole contract/paying/etc issue..... oof) 

SO! aaaaa it was super good and while I’m still bummed about some things getting cut, it’s understandable since I forgot how LONG that whole arc is lol. but boy oh boy the plot’s a comin!!! I’m hyped!!!

#ignore me #madie liveblogs taz #taz gn spoilers #this whole thing is just me screaming about every other panel nbd

[thepallas]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG:

SPEED:  Umm pretty slow I’d say. Depends on how busy I am with uni stuff and if I feel inspired. I’ve noticed that if the thread is new I tend to respond faster (wellp probably because I’m kind of more excited about the thread and I don’t want to disappoint the rp partner), but after few replies it takes longer. My inspiration is a very unreliable thing. It comes and goes, so that’s why sometimes I reply quickly, sometimes after few ages.. and sometimes I would remember some old rp and post a reply to it, even though it hasn’t been touched for months.

REPLIES: Well, I try to match the length, but often my replies happen to be longer. And !!! if I wrote 5 paragraph reply because I got way into it, you don’t have to make your reply as long. It’s fine. I know that I like to get into the details way too much sometimes, especially when I really like the whole plot/idea and I don’t require others to force themselves to write more than they want. (As long as it’s not two sentences to two bigger paragraphs). Oh, and it would take me a bit to get to know your muse and get used to them if we haven’t talked before, so the replies probably won’t be as detailed.

STARTERS: I’m always open to them! Send me something from the post that I’ve reblogged, tag me somewhere. Also, you can message me and we can try to plot something, though it can be hard for me to think of a plot for our muses if we haven’t interacted before or if I’m not accustomed to your muse. That’s why I prefer others to write the starter.>> It might be hard to come up with interesting ideas for me sometimes and I don’t wanna mess it up, like I said, especially if we haven’t interacted. Ofc I can also try to to write it if you wanna, though it will probably take longer.

INBOX: It’s always open! I love when people wanna know more about my muse. Same goes for various memes, symbols, prompts, etc. Send me whatever and it will make me smile for sure. Though, please don’t think that I’m ignoring you if it takes me longer to answer. I try to post the answers as quick as possible, but it depends on how busy I am and some questions are not so easy to reply to, no matter if it’s a meme or a starter.

SELECTIVITY: Umm.. I don’t think that I’m selective.. or at least I’m trying not to be. I am often too shy to approach someone myself, so I’m glad when others do. Though, I personaly tend to approach muses who I can imagine having some kind of relation to Pallas. For example Varus has a direct relation to him (at least in the old lore). Same goes for other demons or Ionian characters since he had spent most of his life in Ionia and has been imprisoned there. Also some Noxians... people related to the spirit world  and so on.. Well you get what I’m talking about... the reason is that it’s way easier to think of a plot for characters like that. Yet Pallas travels/used to travel a lot, so encounters with any other characters are possible and I’m more than happy when someone approaches me despite the character. Just in that case it will take longer to my muse to get used to yours since he is yet to form an opinion and the situations probably wouldn’t be usual to him.

When it comes to other things... I’m rather selective when it comes to smut (other forms of nsfw content are always welcome and will occur in my rps). That’s because I’m not really comfortable in writing it or at least I could write it to the certain point.  I can try to go more into it but only if we’re developed a close relationship between our muses... and if I trust you enough. I dunno. That’s just the way it is. For now it’s only Varus (ask-arclight-varus). Pallas can be extra flirty and would fuck whoever he wants. I can’t ignore that part of him, so like I said if, for some reason, our rp is moving ‘into the bedroom’ I can write it to some extent. Later, we can either skip it to the next morning or I dunno. In short, if you only want to write about our muses having sex, then you came to the wrong blog. Sorry. xd

Hmmm also not sure if it should go here, but I don’t want to change my character just to get along with yours. Yes, if he wants something, he can act and lie to get his way, but despite that he has his beliefs and all of that stuff, so won’t be surprised if he will be rude, too proud about himself, confused by your muses words/actions or would generally respond not the way you would expect.. but I guess this is common sense, since everyone’s character is different. The more important thing is when it comes to the implied (romantic) relationships.. it’s most likely that he wouldn’t be interested in your muse romantically, but no one’s stopping them from trying lol. When it comes to any kind of ships please message me.

WISHLIST:  OOOOhh Gosh there’s a lot of stuff I wanna do. I really want to build relationships with him. Any kind : platonic (he needs buddies), familial (I doubt that demons know their every biologically related relative... And family doesn’t have to be biologically related after all), rival/enemy relationships.. anything really. I’d love to see him interact with more characters. There's a couple of posts where I’m talking more about ships that I’d love to build and specific characters that I’m thinking of → X Y←. Also, I’d love to roleplay different stages of his life. He had lived for ages and he had changed a lot, experienced a lot of stuff.. So I’d love to see people interact with smol young Pallas when he was just discovering the world, a bit older when he was getting hang of it.. to him during the peak of his power when he was the most powerful, cruel, dangerous and careless.. during the days of his imprisonment to the times when he was free again (no matter if he’s dating Varus or not. there are different aus for that). AAaahh just imagine the stories we could write. Especially, if your muse is immortal or so, imagine them playing a part in his life when he was still very young and then them meeting after ages. Or even if your muse is mortal (with the help of au) they could be a somewhat unique human that would interest him in any way.. maybe your muse would be the human who would explain him what is friendship or the one who only enhance his hatred for humanity. *sighs* just imagine.

HONEST NOTE: Amh, well, always feel free to approach me, I’m friendly to everyone. I am patient with replies and I beg you to also be patient (because mine can take forever x.x). If you’re missing a reply and you’d like me to write it faster or I dunno if you’re just wondering if I’m going to reply, please message me. There’s a high chance that it just got lost in the drafts, I’ve missed the notification or I simply forgot about it. If you remind me, I will try to focus on it. :) Also.. please please please, if I take long to reply to your ask/starter/rp/whatever, don’t think that I’m ignoring you on purpose. Heh and one last thing is that I’m always open to talk. Not only about rp, but also if you just wanna talk with someone (doesn’t matter if you wanna vent or share your excitement), feel free to say Hi. ;3c

TAGGED BY:  @deathlygaze TAGGING: @ask-arclight-varus, @deus--irae (or your other blogs), @feuerliebhaber, @zaun-s, @messiahofthevoid, @sxlemnity aaaaa and anyone who wants to do this. (Dunno if you guys had done this already tbh)

#thanks for tagging! #preferences #long post #how I run my blog

[franeridart]

are you going to draw more of that lovely erasermic? :o

Unless I find reasons to stop shipping them in the near future, then sure~ as I said, I really like that ship

Anon said:i love it when you draw chris and josh, you should do it more!! Your oc's are great!!

THANK YOU! I’m really really happy to hear you like them! I draw them just as much as I wish to, tho haha

Anon said:THANK YOU FOR BLESSING US WITH MORE CHRIS!!

Anon said:Honestly I love your ocs so much! I like seeing your fanart because you really flesh out characters we don't get enough development of, but I really love seeing your ocs. I can tell you love them and enjoy drawing them just by looking at it, and that makes me love them even more! You're a wonderful artist!

SOB thank you!!!!! holy heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;O; I can’t believe how much love my kids get hahaha I’m so so grateful aaahhhh!!!!

Anon said:Okay, so I was just going to tell you how great your comic is (and it is), but I just read your last ask to that anon, and I'm sorry, but deku didn't do nothing to gain his quirk? Like, what? He risked his life and almost killed himself trying to say his exfriend/then bully? That isn't just "being nice"? He didn't know all Might would save him? He risked his life even though he was powerless just to help another person? He earned the quirk, all Might said so in the second episode, like, what?

Since you don’t seem to want a polite and civil exchange of opinions on this, and are actually being incredibly rude here (whether you meant for it or not, I don’t know) I hope you won’t mind me keeping this as short as I can. All Might worked in the beginning of the bnha manga as a textbook definition of a deus ex machina, came around, solved an otherwise unsolvable plot point out of the blue bending the laws that had just been established for that universe, and Deku literally (literally) didn’t have to go through any conscious trial, soul-search or any other self-aware journey with the intention of fixing his own problem. All he did was to be heroic and to be quirkless, which for him are circumstances since those are innate traits of his character. And the only singular thing he has is that he’s quirkless, his heroic personality is shared by all of UA (Mina acted in the exact same way in Kirishima’s backstory as he did to save Bakugou, didn’t get any cool op powers out of it)

All Might was supposed to give OfA to Mirio, the literal most heroic character in bnha, a boy who had been working his ass off to become a proper hero since he was a child, but instead he found a quirkless kid and decided that he deserved a chance to become a hero too. I’m not saying that’s not true, or that Deku didn’t deserve it. I’m saying that he didn’t actively or consciously do anything to gain that power. He simply acted in a way true to his self, and that was it.

I’m gonna have to make present to you that the next time I get an ask with that tone in my inbox I’m blocking you without answering. I’m not here to be called an idiot by the first random stranger I find online, if you want a conversation with me all I’m asking is for you to be polite, that’s not too much at all in my opinion.

Anon said:Your last BakuShima comic was so cute!!! AAAAA!! 💖

Thank you!!! I’m super happy you liked it!!!!!! :O

Anon said:I love you. So much right now. Can I give you a virtual hug because I swear

I dunno what I did to deserve this but SURE *holds u back*

Anon said:do you think you'd ever sell any minajirou merch? (maybe like the one with the flower background) because if you do i would buy 20 (not literally but,, i think you get the point) Sorry if this sounds annoying or anything! im just curious

Not annoying at all!!! If I remember right the one I posted was a bit small tho, I’ll have to see if I can work with the size in a way that would fit the default redbubble dimensions... if I can’t I’ll be sure to make the next one big enough to fit, tho!!!! And thank you for wanting to buy my stuff!!!!! :O

Anon said:I'M NOT THAT ANON BUT I CAN HELP W MOMOJIROUS & yes we totally agree they're fuckin gay and canon there's no doubts here. SO anyway I at least see them liking in each other exactly what you said- they have what the other lacks (or thinks they do), and still find the other to understand them and be interested in them in every sense of the word, also tol and beauty and smol and cute are def the first thoughts about each other, damn maybe I should have thought about word limit I need more space

Awwww anon I thank you for trying to explain to me why they work!!! But that’s not the problem I have with it at all haha I understand the ship on a superficial level perfectly, that’s why I ship it! I just can’t seem to find myself in the relationship anywhere, so empathizing with it comes harder than it does when it’s MinaJirou haha

Anon said:you draw kirishima's eyes so pretty I can't look away from them

THANK YOU Kirishima’s eyes are super pretty in canon, I’m so so happy I can portray that in my style well enough!!!!! :O

Anon said:Ok, sorry for going through ur hq!! tag sjeow, oh gosh I love ur art and ur art style and I love the way I draw the boys !!!! Aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! Thank u for blessing my night!!!! I hope something makes ur day the way going through ur art *cough* again *cough* made my day!!! (Also a question: what's ur second fave ship from hq!! after bokuroo?? )

MATSUHANA :O and thank you so so so so much for liking my stuff!!!!!!! I hope you’re having a great day today too, anon!!!

Anon said:I love you Fran, but I completely disagree with what you told the last anon about the idea behind bnha. You had me with the positivity concept, and I would also love it if eri could fix mirio and nighteye, but the rest of that was just so far off to me; and probably for many other fans in this community. Like, first, a story does not have to be the level of snk or dgray man to have bad things happen. That is how all story telling has been since the beginning of time.

A good narrative story is never straight sunshine and happiness throughout, even if it doesn't involve death. People don't just enjoy the bad things that happen in a story because it's realistic or because it's sad, they enjoy it because that is how a story and it's characters grow. They make mistakes and learn from them; these moments help the characters change and pushes them forward through every new obstacle. 

 It helps drive them and gives their stories/actions/ideals meaning and gives the audience a reason to care. And that is where I wonder if we are even reading the same story, because this concept is shown throughout the entirety of bnha. It is no where near the "positive-to-a-naive-point" you seem to believe it is. The story starts off with a weak, defenseless deku being beaten by his once best friend?

Like, I really don't want to sound condescending, but I don't understand how you could come to this conclusion. Bakugou has an inferiority complex from hell and suffers constantly from his own inner turmoil, todoroki has an an abusive father with a horrid childhood, iida's brother/idol was paralyzed and almost killed, shigaraki unknowingly killed his parents as a child, toshinori may still be alive, but all might (the hero) is gone to the world forever,

eri was used and experimented on HER ENTIRE LIFE, believing she was a disease to the world and could only cause suffering. I could go on for pages about the suffering these characters have ALREADY gone through- but that is okay, because the story is better for it. Because we as an audience wouldn't have cared nearly as much for deku's gain of one-for-all, if it wasn't for the trials and turmoil he faced his whole life living as a quirkless child;

Bnha is a positive story, but it does not rely solely on positivity to get by. It is a story about determination; to push back against adversity, to go on even in the face of the unknown or impossible; even if fate itself is against you. It's about climbing your mountains and beyond that, dare I say, beyond plus ultra. It's is not trying to adhere to its genre, it's is trying to be everything the genre could be and more, and as succeeded thus far.

Which is why I can understand the disappointment from the last anon, because solving everything through friendship and "hand holding" has become a norm in this genre specifically- and bnha is anything but quick and easy ways out.

Sorry if this is long, and I really hope you don't take this as an attack against you or your opinion. If that is all bnha is to you, and if that is how you perceive the show, who am I to say you are wrong. But I hope you understand what I have said at least, because you still are a huge inspiration to me as an artist and in this community. Hope the rest of your day goes alright.

Alright, first off, if you don’t want to come off as condescending try and maybe don’t be condescending. I’m nearly sure you didn’t do this consciously, considering how you ended the rant, but going “are we even reading the same story” when you supposedly want a civil exchange of opinions is the worst thing you could do ever. You pretty much said “I don’t wanna disregard your opinion but here is a list of reason why you’re wrong and I’m right”, please next time you mean to keep it civil try and avoid that, because that sounds just as bad as you’d assume.

Second, I thank you for the recap of all the tragic backstories bnha gave us, but my answer was about conclusions to arcs, not beginnings. I literally never once said that bnha is a happy-go-lucky story from start to end, I only said it made an habit of reaching for the best possible conclusion it could ever go for by the end of every arc up until now.

“The story starts off with a weak, defenseless deku being beaten by his once best friend”, sure (aside from the “once best friend”, Deku and Bakugou were never friends to begin with, please do reread the second Kacchan vs Deku for Bakugou’s view on their relationship) that’s how the story starts, and it ends with Deku with the strongest quirk on the planet, mentored by his childhood hero, with a civil and friendly rivalry with his childhood bully, on his way to become the number one hero, happy and loved and respected. “”Bakugou has an inferiority complex from hell and suffers constantly from his own inner turmoil” again, sure, and he could have given in to it and become a villain or let his terrible personality just become worse and worse, every single bad thing happened to him could have made him closer to a bad guy or given him good reasons to go against the heroes, and instead he’s working to become better, is loved and cherished, has friends that will build him up and care for him and risk their lives for him, and is actually in a way healthier place than he was in the beginning. “Todoroki has an an abusive father with a horrid childhood” SURE and now he’s got his mother back, he’s learnt to be the bigger person and put distance between himself and his father to instead use him to reach his own goals, is happy and has friends and, again, he’s supported and loved and is in a way happier place than he was in the beginning. “Toshinori may still be alive, but all might (the hero) is gone to the world forever” yes, and in any other manga the reveal would have brought a whole damn lot of drama and people calling him a fraud and turning against him, but instead that scene is the most heartwarming one in the whole manga, the whole world supporting and loving him and yelling his name to cheer him on

I could go on, but I think I made it pretty clear? Every single arc, be it a character arc or a story arc, starts tragic to end up with the most positive outcome you can have for it. There isn’t one arc that has had a tragic conclusion yet. So is it really that weird for me to think it’s believable and not surprising at all that Eri’s story, for however tragic it might have started as, could also have a happy ending? That this manga never tried to present itself as one in which things can and will turn out for the worse?

I’m not even sure exactly what your incredibly long ask was about, man. What were you trying to prove to me? Which part of the answer I gave were you trying to disprove? You just went on about how sad everyone was at the beginning of the manga as if that proved somehow that Horikoshi isn’t actively working to give everyone the happiest future they could have. 

A recap of my answer is: “I personally don’t mind Eri having a fix-it quirk because it fits well in Nighteye’s plot and falls perfectly in line with how every other arc has turned out for the best up until now”

And you came at me with an eight asks long rant that can be summed up in “you’re wrong because people in the beginning of the story were sad”

Listen. I’m always open to conversations about different opinions and takes on a story. But, again, I’m gonna need you to be polite about it and open to an equal exchange. Simply going at the end “I hope you won’t feel attacked” and “have a nice day” isn’t enough if for the rest of the rant you talked to me as if you were assuming I’m an idiot. And I’m actually gonna need you to properly read my answers before trying to follow up with them, next time. Please. I don’t have the time to rephrase my answers sixty times just because people keep answering without actually reading them.

#fran answers #i'm sorry about the tone of a couple of the answers i gave in this #being talked down on is one of the things that make it harder for me to remember im trying to be as polite as i can get #but well #that's the last time anyway #this is an art blog after all #i didn't make it to have this sort of arguments #we'll just stick to the doodles from now on shall we (=u=) #anonymous

[totographs]

it’s ml editor appreciation week, so I have to give shoutout to the server that motivates me every single day to make gifs for the ml fandom~

brace yourself folks it’s gonna be a long and sappy one

I joined the fandom this time last year and even though I loved making gifs for the show, motivation was hard to come by and that led me to almost deleting this blog. I told myself though that I should stick around for a bit and see if I still wanted to stay.

Soon enough, I was asked to join a discord server where ml gifmakers and editors could talk and interact. I said yes, obviously, because this meant that I could get to know more people and also because I’m not the type of person to approach people first, so this was a great opportunity to talk to others in the fandom.

What started off as a simple group chat turned into a budding friendship between everyone of us. I’m so thankful that it turned out like this and you guys means the absolute world to me, I hope you all know that.

You guys are the reason I didn’t leave, the reason I didn’t delete this blog. You guys are my source of motivation and the reason I want to improve my editing skills.

There are moments when I talk to you guys and think to myself ‘Thank God I didn’t deactivate.’ because then I wouldn’t be able to interact with awesome people like you all. From the bottom of my heart, I wanna thank you guys for everything ♡

I’m gonna talk about specific people now (below the cut bc it’s gonna be full of sap ayy)

@ladyofacat — I nicknamed you as the mom of the group in my head ajksdhbkasjhdk anyways thank you so much for creating and inviting me to the server because really, without it I wouldn’t be able to create what I consider ‘good content’ on my blog than if it didn’t exist. ily the anitaaaa ♡

@miraculousladybuggifs — sarah babeeeee you’re my biggest hypewoman, everytime i see your tags on my gifsets i get so happy and my heart swells aaaaaa thank you for being such a big supporter of my sets ♡ if you need someone to fight by your side in any sort of battle, I volunteer to do so asjdhfkj ilyyy

@bananagreste — zueeee I looked up to you before we started talking and like had a minor freak out when i saw you in the server ajkhsdh you’ve always been so supportive of my gifs and so motivational whenever I felt insecure about them, so thank you so much for motivating me at my lowest points ♡ ps. your gifs are my reason to live

@vyctornikiforov — isabella the support of my edits from you means the absolute world to me and the way you hype them up makes me feel really good about myself aaaaa thank you for being so supportive ily ily ily ♡

@adriexnette — clalaaa we’ve known each other since our frozen days (rip) and it’s so nice to know that we’re still here with our love for miraculous alksdhflk you’re amazing and your support means everything to me ily so so so much girl ♡

@seaweedbraens — vani omg i love your gifs so much??? what in perfection??? you’ve also been so supportive of everything that i do and im super thankful for that ♡ thank you so much ilysm babeee

@marinette-buginette — i looked up to you even before we started talking in the serve ajsdkhfgk thank you for the support you give out not just for my edits but everything in general ♡ ily flaviaaaa p.s. if you call your gifs fugly one more time i will actually fly to your place and fight you 

@inklizard — kiz i love your edits so much wtf im in awe with the dedication you put into your sets because gimp is so damn hard to use ajhsdbfkjadk thank you for the love you give out for my gifs, they mean so damn much to me ok ily ♡ 

@miraculous-content — candy i swear no matter how many times you’ll try and stop me from complimenting you, i will rise from my grave and do it again a million more times. you’re so talented ok and i admire your edits so much asjdhfkasd thank you for the support you give for my edits ily ♡

@asianladybug — justine istg whenever i see you complimenting my sets i cry of happiness and almost burst into tears (that’s embarrassing to admit but WHATEVER) thank you for that love and support it means everything to me aaaaa ilyy ♡

@smirkingkeith — i looked up to you before meeting you in the server aaaaaa you and i have that same amount of love for mari and adrienette it’s almost scary akjhdsfhks anyways i love your gifs and edits they’re so good???? thank you also for the support you give of my sets ily shirley ♡

@serizawazs — kei omg where do i begin i love your edits so much they’re so bright and gorgeous and aaaaaaa i just really love them?? thank you for supporting me and my edits ♡ ily you wonderful human being

@jamiereyes, @tourmei, @chatnoirs-baton — we don’t talk very much (bc im too much of an anxious nerd whenever i try to start conversations) but man i look up to you guys so much??? i love all of your edits and sets, i cry whenever i see them because they’re so good??? y’all are amazing i swear and ily guys ♡

Thank you all so much for supporting my gifs, edits, and other shenanigans. You guys mean the absolute world to me and I’m so lucky and thankful that I got to know you all. ♡

p.s. I blame you lot for getting me into voltron ok bye

#mleditorappreciationweek #mine #ILY GUYS #THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING