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soullessduck13 · 8 months

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Not ur DMs but oh man!! Do I have a character analysis to dump upon you. I’m not gonna do a ton of editing, but I do wish to share.

Oh bro, Q!Foolish is so cool as a character. Him and BBH are literally both insane in the exact same way, but with such different views on morality. It results in wildly different ideas of themselves and the world around them!

Foolish is selfish and he knows it, but he also loves his family dearly. He will do anything to protect the people he cares about even though that circle is pretty small. Anyone outside the circle is fair game tho. (BBH is an exception because he’s trusted, but Foolish and him love endangering each other for sport). By “fair game,” I mean Foolish will actively throw anyone under the bus just because he feels like it. Honestly doesn’t even have to be for any particular gain. He will absolutely do things just to see what happens. He acts like a morally grey immortal who doesn’t quite understand how normal people think anymore.

At the same time, a lot of his actions do have motives. A big part of his character is that Foolish just wants rare/unique items and will do nearly anything (including endanger others) to get them. He sees the island as a game to win, which makes it easy to not care about consequences for himself and others. He’s not malicious and he doesn’t seek to cause others pain, but will still do things knowing full well they could harm. He also fully accepts other people seeking retribution for his actions, because he’s got a “fair is fair” type mentality. He will simply deal with whatever consequences float his way for his actions.

Because Foolish is aware of his selfishness, he will never try and take a moral high ground. He doesn’t think he’s a morally just person, and he doesn’t care to be. He cares about chaos for the sake of fun, doing things to get him stuff, and protecting those he loves.

(Also, Foolish & Jaiden as people are both the embodiment of chaotic neutral. Everything they do together is fun as Jaiden enables the hell out of any idea Foolish has. Morality be damned, they just wanna be menaces for the sake of it.)

Also also, Foolish is actually smarter than he appears and presents himself. He’s actually a strategist at heart, but will only use it for his own personal gain and often under the table lol. He’s silly, but he uses that to play all fields and knows how to keep things secret. His behavior will often trick others into underestimating him, but unfortunately also leads to people fundamentally not understanding him or his motives.

Idk,, I stay spinning these Minecraft people in my brain like a microwave lol. I could probably give similar level analysis on a handful of my other main QSMP people, but yeah. Foolish is especially cool to me because people who have zero illusion about being morally fucked by normal standards are soooo interesting! It’s a very atypical way to aproach the world not giving a shit about morality while also being zero percent malicious. His /goal/ isn’t ever to hurt people for the sake of it, he’s just a means to an end kind of guy. He’s neat because about him and his explanation for his actions tends to embody a genuine sense of neutrality in the most insane way possible.

god this is so cool

I really want to watch more of Foolish’s vods to really get a grasp of him and I can’t really add onto this much at all but oh anon I appreciate so much. Thank you for this meal of a character analysis served on a silver platter

I think the type of morally grey Foolish is, is by the far the most fun to me. It’s that loyalty to these select few people and that loyalty will not change unless extreme circumstances causes it to. So so interesting. And also like. Him being friends with others but if given the popular he will screw them over? That’s hilarious. Good for him, doing things for the bit and for his own personal gain. I wouldn’t, probably, but selfish characters are soooooo… rotating around inside my head.

#qsmp #qsmp foolish #q!foolish #foolish gamers #qsmp character analysis

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a-queer-seminarian · 3 years

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So sorry if this is breaking news to anyone, but: the Bible is ableist. Its pages hold some really shitty stuff about disabled persons.

...AND it’s also affirming of the goodness and wholeness of disabled persons, just as we are!

it turns out that among the many authors of the many texts collected into the Bible, there were differing views around what we now call disability!

so whenever disability comes up in a given passage, i can’t keep my brain from immediately trying to sort it: is it a Good Text for disabled persons, or a Bad Text?

i try to resist that easy binary, because the answer is usually somewhere in between. that certainly seems to be the case for this week’s lectionary reading from Mark 9.

there’s so much wild stuff in Jesus’s little monologue in this lectionary passage, but let’s start with verses 43-47 (my rough translation incoming):

If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off; it is better for you to enter into The Life impaired than, while having two hands, to go away into the gehenna, into the unquenchable fire.

And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off! It is better for you to enter into The Life limping than, while having two feet, be cast into the gehenna.

And if your eye should cause you to stumble, cast it out; it is better for you to enter into the Kingdom of God one-eyed than, while having two eyes, be cast into the gehenna, where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. For everyone will be salted with fire.

oh lord, not the hell talk!! anything but hell talk!! this whole passage bristles with a million ways to misuse it. (homophobia cw: anyone else ever get told “if your sexuality causes you to sin, cut it off — this passage is proof gay people should be celibate!” just me?)

now, my focus is on what Jesus says here about disability, but as we talk about that, better ways of reading the text will come up. for instance, that last verse about how everyone will be salted with fire? to me, that suggests Jesus’ vision of this “gehenna” place does NOT = the standard Christian idea of hell. first off, it’s a place not of punishment, but purification — which is a word heavy with baggage these days...what if I say “reformation” instead? And if that’s the case, i imagine one’s stay there isn’t eternal — why bother reform people who are gonna be shut off in a fire-filled jail forever?

once those fires “purify” you, i imagine your stay is through and off you go into “The Life,” because you’ll finally be ready for it. so that’s one option for getting ready for The Life / The Kingdom of God — or, Jesus says, you can opt instead to get rid of the things that “cause you to stumble” in advance by......cutting off a limb or gouging out an eye??

now. i could be wrong but. if we start by taking this text as literally as possible, with physical stumbling and a physical limb-removal taking place......wouldn’t it be easier to avoid tripping if you’ve got two eyes to see obstacles with, two feet to step over potholes with?? even today when prosthetics are sometimes an option, there’s an adjustment period where you have to relearn walking.

so it seems that Jesus is making one of his trademark statements meant to subvert expectations -- the last will be first, the foolish are proven wise, and those with two feet are more likely to stumble. chances are, he’s not speaking literally. it’s not your literal foot or hand you should be chopping off -- it’s a metaphor for something else.

but before we consider what exactly it’s a metaphor for...where does this ironic little twist leave actually disabled persons? is it shitty of Jesus to be using disability in this way? is this like his “blind leading the blind” & “spiritually blind” comments elsewhere in the Gospels, where he stamps a disability with a moral judgement?

yeah, i do think it’s kinda crappy to use real disabilities for an object lesson, for hyperbolic effect, for shock value. “better to be impaired” (even tho, the subtext seems to be, It Sucks To Be Impaired) “than end up in Gehenna. Trade one terrible thing for a still bad but not as bad thing!” My impulse is thus to throw this passage right into the Bad Text box —except!

Except, i feel like this text holds some positive implications about how Jesus viewed disability, too.

First off, there’s the implication that one can enter into “The Life” — abundant life, “the world to come,” God’s Kingdom — while disabled. (i wish that were just a given, but it’s not; it’s actually exciting to hear confirmed!)

In the Hebrew Bible (the “Old Testament,” the scriptures we share with our Jewish neighbors, the texts that Jesus would have read and known), the most common assumption about disability is unfortunately that disability = imperfection, and imperfection is something that should be kept out of contact with God.

Now, there are authors & stories within the Hebrew Bible that offer a counter-narrative to that assumption! Two quick examples: Exodus 4 establishes Moses as having a speech impediment, yet he has many close encounters with the Divine. Meanwhile, in Isaiah 56:1-8, God not only welcomes in eunuchs — whom Deuteronomy 23:1 forbade from entering God’s Assembly — but even gives them a place of honor there!

So Jesus’s perspective is not brand new; he simply continues the counter-narrative that other Jewish rabbis and prophets established before him. Still, it is significant that he takes the status-quo-subverting perspective that actually, disability and wholeness are not at odds!

While Jesus’s primary aim with this little passage is not about disability, his weird self-disabling metaphor does imply an attitude of welcome for disabled persons, in that he seems to take it for granted that disabled persons are not barred from The Life of wholeness and abundance he’s talking about.

It’s obvious to him that they don’t even need to be made not-disabled to get there! (Plus, there is no suggestion that once there, one regrows one’s lopped-off limbs or eye / becomes abled again.) This isn’t the only time Jesus expresses this idea of disabilities present in God’s Kingdom, either — my fave is the parable of the banquet in Luke 14 (i have a whooole video about that passage, if you’re interested).

Moreover, Jesus’s closing remarks about salt — which at first glance seem to be something of a non sequitur — can be linked to the Gehenna fire stuff when it comes to the theme of im/purity. Let’s look at that last verse of the lectionary reading, which follows right after Jesus’s claim that “everyone will be salted with fire”:

“Salt is good; but if salt becomes unsalty, with what will you season it? Hold salt in yourselves, and keep peace with one another.”

Another weird little riddle from our favorite riddle-master. unsalty salt? instructions to stay salty?

One way to read this is to focus on the purifying and preserving uses of salt — the way it can keep food from going bad, which was particularly important in a time before refrigerators. in the previous verses, Jesus told his disciples what to cut off — anything that impedes them on the way into abundant Life. Now, he tells them what to hold on to — the stuff that, like salt, clean out harmful things and preserve helpful things, thus enabling abundant Life.

So yeah. In naming something culturally considered an imperfection — disability — as something that can easily enter The Life, no problem, Jesus is making an argument for what is truly impure, what truly impedes wholeness. And it’s not disability! ...So what is it? What are these stumbling blocks that Jesus likens to feet, hands, and eyes?

To find out, we have to rewind to the start of the lectionary reading, a comment from the disciple John that actually kicks off Jesus’s whole spiel:

John informed him, “Teacher, we saw someone throwing out demons in your name, and we stopped him, because he wasn’t following our way.”

But Jesus said, “Do not ever prevent him! For there is no one who will do a powerful work in my name, and will be quickly able to speak evil of me. For whoever is not against us, is for us. Whoever might give you a cup of water to drink because you are in Christ’s name, amen I say to you, that one will not utterly lose his reward.”

The disciples have a certain way of seeing the world, and their actions against someone who is not one of them, but still using Jesus’s name to cast out demons, show us what that way is. They see the world in terms of us vs. them, in vs. out, one right way and many wrong ways. It’s this perspective that impedes them from supporting other people’s kin(g)dom-building work when it differs from their own.

But Jesus tells them they need to stop thinking this way, and start recognizing that there isn’t just one road to the Kin(g)dom, but many — and to quote Jesus’s words from other parts of scripture, you’ll know that someone’s work is good when it produces good fruit. This dude might be doing things differently from how they do it, but the fruits of his efforts are good — the casting out of demons, which frees people up for new life. So don’t stop him — support him! Be glad for his work!

To sum up the entire passage now that I’ve laid it all out and shown how the seemingly-disjointed parts of Jesus’s speech connect, I see his argument as something like this: “That dude you tried to stop is not against us; we can see that by the consequences of his actions, which are positive! His goals are the same as ours, so don’t hinder him just because his path is different from yours! Now, here’s an example of people/behaviors that ARE against us: people who cause little ones to stumble. And you know what you should do with such stumble-makers (or else the stumble-causing behaviors/attitudes)? Cut them off. Let go of anyone or anything that keeps you from abundant life, from the liberation God intends for all. Meanwhile, hold on to the things which purify you like salt — the things that liberate you to enter wholeness. Do it now of your own accord, or accept that it’ll happen later, and it won’t be very fun.”

To reiterate what all of that has to do with disability theology, I’ll share what my friend Laura said when I brought all these ideas to them. (Laura is the host of the Autistic Liberation Theology podcast, which i highly recommend for anyone who wants to hear more Bible stories told through a disability lens!)

Laura noted how common perspectives around dis/ability lead people wrong today, impeding our liberation. Our society teaches us that in order to function as whole persons, we need to be able-bodied (and neurotypical), and that the kinds of accommodations that disabled persons require limit their quality of life. When those ableist assumptions are the lens through which we view the world, that can “cause us to stumble” in the metaphorical sense — can impede us from loving ourselves and one another fully, and from fully participating in the diverse Kin(g)dom of God.

They offered two examples:

When a person with a mobility impairment that could be improved with a wheelchair avoids using that wheelchair because of internalized ableism, preferring the increased suffering that walking more than their body can healthily do over being “wheelchair bound,” that internalized ableism is a stumbling block keeping them from abundant life. Learning to let go of those beliefs, to use a wheelchair when they need to, will — contrary to that “wheelchair bound” language — bring liberation.

Their next example imagined a parent who puts their autistic child through ABA therapy in order to get them to talk, make eye contact, and otherwise behave like a non-autistic person, due to the belief that autistic persons are missing elements of a full personhood, or that they can only live a happy life if they learn how to mask their autistic traits. However, in reality, ABA therapy brings the child pain and trauma — it impedes rather than enables their quality of life. Letting go of that need for your child to communicate through spoken language and otherwise behave like an allistic will make room for celebration of who they really are!

As Jesus’s comments in this passage imply, a disabled person can enter into “The Life” of wholeness and kinship that is the Kin(g)dom of God just as they are. To try to sever their disability from them would be the hindrance to that liberation. To deny that there are many ways to participate in the Body of Christ impedes the incoming Kin(g)dom.

So let’s take this message to heart. Let’s consider what points of view, what assumptions about what is necessary for wholeness, are currently keeping us from abundant life, or causing us to stop others from their abundance-bringing work. It’s time to learn how to let those harmful assumptions go — and hold tight to the things that bring true wholeness.

For more on this text, check out my translation notes, which include a lot of commentary from D. Mark Davis’s own exegetical work.

For more on disability theology, you might enjoy my #disability theology tag on tumblr or my Disabled AND Blessed YouTube series. This video exploring the many different perspectives on disability found within the Bible is particularly pertinent.

Finally, what do you think? What good news do you hear in this Mark 9 text? What parts of it feel like a stumbling block for you, dredging up hurt or confusion?

#what do you think?#disability theology #mark 9 #mark 9:38-50 #bible translation #translation #reading and studying the bible #bible tag #long post #log #fall 2021 #lectionary

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cowboisadness · 3 years

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Found You {Arthur Morgan x F!reader}

Summery: She was there for Arthur through everything, being more than good friends but less than partners. They support eachother through the good and bad times, it’s not love tho, no, it’s not love at all.

Rating: M. Basically porn with plot. More plot than i planned i really got carried away with this. I’m mean to Mary i’m sorry. Includes angst, heartbreak and all that painful shit.

—–

Chapter 3 - Severed

I visited Mary a few days later. Not to harm or threaten her. But to talk. Clear up a few things. It was a great idea, I had everything I was going to say planned out. Going over a speech I had made over and over again, both and my head and out loud while I made my way to her current lodgings near Valentine.

How hard could it be?

Knocking on the door and hearing the footsteps getting louder I stood straighter, planted my feet firmly and took in a deep breath.

It was Mary that answered. Everything I had planned to say out of my head like autumn leaves in the wind. She was as beautiful as she was the last I saw her, many years ago. Still as soft-spoken when she said my name in obvious confusion, eyebrows furrowed.

Another deep breath.

“Mary- I- Look - You - “

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes. Well, no. Well,”

Another deep breath.

“I know you asked Arthur to help you with something.”

“Yes, I did. What is this about? Is Arthur okay?”

Just speak dammit! What am I doing? What am I doing here? Just spit it out.

“Thing is Mary, I understand you needed someone big and scary that you trust to solve your problems now that your husband has passed. But jumping back in Arthurs life has him hurting again.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well- I guess the reason I’m here is to ask that- If you’re not planning on marrying him and actually going through with it this time and accept his life, that we both know he won’t give up, then I must ask for you to leave him well alone. I can’t watch him be confused and in pain again.”

There, I said it. Kinda. Although it was a lot nicer when I rehearsed it a hundred times on the way here.

“It wasn’t my intention to confuse or hurt him in any way. I care about him.”

“So do i.”

She was silent for a few moments, keeping our eyes locked on each other like some sort of standoff until she broke it. Her shoulders relaxing as she gave out a sigh.

“You love him, don’t you?”

“I- Wha-,” I was taken back by her comment, saying the very thing I refuse to. “He’s my best friend. Seeing him suffer breaks me.”

She nodded at that. If she listened would be a different matter. We both cared deeply for the same man, neither of us able to have the life we wanted with him. It was foolish to not admit that he held a special place in both our hearts. And it was foolish to not admit that he was probably completely unaware of the effect he had on both of us. Women from completely different backgrounds and vastly different ways of living with him on a rope, both of us pulling each end. I just hoped that me being here wouldn’t sever my side.

“I wish you well, Mary.”

With that, I turned and mounted my horse. Making my way into Valentine for a few drinks before heading back to camp.

It was night by the time I arrived back. Once drink turning into a few beers and multiple shots. A bloodied fist from punching one of the many drunkards that assumed I was a working girl. Despite wearing pants and without a corset that pushed my tits up below my chin. I don’t know how those girls did it, but I guess if money is needed that is something some women have to do to get by. They had my upmost respect.

I stumbled back in camp, almost everyone retired to their bedrolls or tents. Arthur was on watch for the night and I debated telling him I visited Mary and that she shouldn’t bother him again and that he’s welcome. Hell, she might end up sending him another letter informing him of my little visit herself. Better if it came from me i.

Telling him while drunk probably wasn’t the best thing. He practically oozed rage. Calling me a selfish woman that should keep her nose out of other peoples business. Was it not my business if someone that has my heart is hurting? Isn’t helping each other no matter what it is something we did in this merry but dysfunctional family?

I don’t like to see you being hurt, Arthur. I would say to him.

So you hurt me by messing about with my business and going behind my back? Thinking you know what’s good for me? He would say back.

Or did I cross I line? Did I let my feelings get in the way and stop me from thinking logically? Love is rarely logical. It was when he told me to leave and to not speak to him when I realised. I’m a fucking idiot. My side of the rope was severed.

#arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan #arthur morgan fic #im mean to mary im sorry #rdr2 fic #fanfiction

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sol3rn · 3 years

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I am currently reading acowar and I need to express myself about some things...

1. Elain being a shell and nesta being cold rude mean person.

I see things like that; nesta loves elain more than anyone is this world, probably even more than she would ever love Cassian in my opinion. And I think Nesta feels like she has to show a strong imagine or herself for elain, like if nothing affects her because she thinks she doesn’t get to fall apart when Elain is at her lowest, because if they both do fall apart then, who’s going to look after them? (Add with that the fact that nesta doesn’t know how to deal with emotion and so choices to bottle them up.)

2. Feyre pushing Nesta, when she says she won’t.

Feyre changes her mind every two seconds when it comes to nesta. She first says she doesn’t want her sisters more involved in the whole war hybern thing more than they already are, but then changes her mind two seconds later saying « fine I will ask them, but I won’t push them if they say no ». So far everything is okay, I mean there’s no harm in asking for their help when you need some. But then! Then she asks nesta at dinner and when she says no, explicitly and several times, feyre keeps pushing into telling her story to strangers she never met or even heard of, people she hates. Where that whole « I won’t push them if they say no it’s their right » thing went?? Nesta accepter helping with the whole, and she still is pushing more and more asking for more. HELL NO.

3. Feyre trying to push nesta by using her title.

I know she didn’t actually do it, she just thought of it, addressing her as a (her) highlady instead of a sister. Do I really need to say it? Fine. Nesta is not a part of the night court, she is not a part of feyre’s court. She is her sister staying in the night court as long as they’ll accept her and Elain to stay. So feyre doesn’t have power over her, not in this way anyway, and so cannot use her title to force Nesta into doing something she does not want to.

4. Cassian being the only who sees to actually care about how nesta is doing.

That’s it. There no further comment. He sees her, how gorgeous she is, how affected and damaged she is while even her sisters don’t seem to see it... he wants her to train so she can let out the anger he sees dwell in her, boiling inside of her, so she can leave the house and so not feel prisoner more than she already does.

5. I live for Nesta&Amren being friends, or something like it.

Nesta seems to be scared of the entire circle but Amren, when amren is supposed to be the most terrifying of them all. I mean even Rhys is scared of her even tho he is the most powerful high lord in history. Amren likes that about her, how similar and different they are, but also that she doesn’t fear her, I wish to see more of that.

6. Feyre putting Mor sensibility above a potential ally in the war.

I get Feyre and Mor are best friends and so she cares about her well being, but wat is coming and they don’t have a lot of allies to fight with them to protect AND PRYTHIAN, AND THE MORTAL REALM. They need every single allies they can get to have a chance to survive and win the war. But no, no miss feyre high lady of the night court is willing to sacrifice thousands of not billions of lives by sacrificing a potential ally just for ONE DARN PERSON. Does she even think sometimes?? I mean, if Keir was asking for velaris or for much gratter things that could jeopardize the peace they’re trying to maintain and protect, okay, makes sense, but just to avoid upsetting her friend?? I get it, Keir and his legion aren’t good people, and are violente and may trigger mor’s traumas, feyre can be preoccupied by it, but in a time in such need she cannot just choses to ally or not with a potential ally in a war like that just for one person... it’s foolish and awfully selfish for the billions lives she would put at risks.

7. Cassian and the bone carver.

I need to know now what form the Bonne Carver appeared as for Cassian. I have two ideas, either his mother or nesta. Cassian was pretty chocked when he saw it, so chocked feyre couldn’t tell if he was breathing, and for me he wouldn’t react like for a little something. We all know Cassian cares about nesta, and beyond just « making sure she is okay », and so seeing her as the bone carver could make him realize how he truly feels about her. I am not saying he is in love with her or anything, just that he cares for her more than he thinks he does. I also think him seeing nesta talking about herself and the powers she might have, how powerful she might be, was pretty shocking, because she never talk about anything related to her powers. But I also think, seeing his mother’s traits talking about Nesta, the woman he seems to care a lot about, when I think a part of him might hate her for a donning him in the mud because he was bastard born, even if it’s tradition or whatever, might make him see red. In my mind how the bone carver choses to appear as to you means a lot about yourself and your true feelings, and so I believe it is very important to get to know WHAT DID CASSIAN SEE IN THAT CELL ??! I don’t know if my thoughts are clear but....

8. Feyre is not as innocent as everyone (especially nesta antis) want to make her when it comes to her sisters.

People keep saying nesta treated feyre like shit, criticizing her physically and some even use the word « abuser ». I don’t think nesta is an abuser, I do not believe she is a saint either. Nesta is a person as good as evil, literally 50-50. People need to understand something; siblings relationships aren’t all love and glitter and heaven or whatever bullshit. Some cannot communicate properly, such as feyre and Nesta, and it is not a one sided problem, nesta is not the only responsible in this communication issue and feyre isn’t either. Feyre is as bad as Nesta when it comes to each other, they both treat Elain better than the other, it shows by the way they both address to each other, how feyre talks down to nesta and snort at her (yes feyre snort a lot at nesta, like most of the time nesta speaks, or like she wants to snort but by the strength of her will don’t do it). And if you say to justify Feyre’s reactions and the way she talks to nesta by saying « it’s just pay back for all the years nesta spent treating her like trash » than you make Feyre as much a villain as you make Nesta one. Revenge and pay back aren’t the solutions and are childish, especially in this case. Nesta definitely needs to learn how to communicate without being so cold and sometimes condescending toward others, but Feyre also has to improve her behavior toward both her sisters, which leads to my second point...

There’s probably more to come, but for now it is what upset me the most. (Except for the nessian part, its also positive)

#nessian #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #acotar #acowar #acomaf #cassian #rhysand #elain archeron #feyre darling #nesta stan

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theclownandtheflame · 4 years

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AIGHT FELLAS it's me ya slut writing a Gaius x MC fic so if you don't like Gaius or feel grossed out by the idea of a ship then DON'T READ IT haaaa no seriously don't read it. Also don't shame those who like it. PEACE! 🧚🏻‍♀️

Btw I didn't quite finish it bc idk my imagination gets dry sometimes and stuff. BUT if any of you want me to keep writing, then ask so and I'll do it! I'll do it either way but oh well ksksksks here we go!

Victim, Victim, Monster

A Gaius Augustine x MC drabble/fic

Written by @theclownandtheflame

DISCLAIMER: Some NSFW, slight mentions of PTSD (not romanticized tho!! ew!!)

Characters used &/or mentioned belong to Pixelberry!!! All rights to them even if they take ours on a daily basis

My mother language is Portuguese so please excuse my grammar should it be necessary!

MC's name is Athena because,, :)

Final warning for Gaius' haters: don't. read. below. the line !!!!!!!!

_________________________________________

"Athena, I did terrible things to you. I abducted you. I raided your mind. I tortured your friends. I killed you."

Funny how stating the obvious got him stuck in her mind the whole night. Fragile, the bloodkeeper clutched her pillow and busied herself with happier thoughts. As if there were any at times like these.

They had just escaped the island when its effects fully wore out. She couldn't blame "grandpa" for her restlessness, as much as she wanted to. So much to consider after trekking across the ugly truth and all she could think about was Gaius. Gaius Augustine.

She heaved a dramatic sigh before changing positions. Now, laying on her back, Athena realized this was probably the best night of sleep she's had in a while. Even if there was, like, absolutely no sleeping involved.

What kept her up wasn't the nightmares this time. Something about their talk, as eerie as it went, helped her conceal the fact his face would haunt her forever. Because, oh, it would.

"You can't sleep, can you?"

The agony, crawling under her skin, hit so deep she could hear his voice at any given time. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she stared at the ceiling, counting sheeps for a change. No nightmares, no daydreams, but absolutely not a hint of tranquility.

"... Athena."

She huffed. If she knew coming to good terms with the enemy would bring him inside her head, she wouldn't have taken the high road. Her lips still tingled from the kiss she pressed to his cheek. The electric warmth shared upon breaking a boundary she would've never have crossed days prior.

If only her friends could see her now. Touching her lips with her fingertips. Thinking fondly of a monster they swore to kill.

"Are you asleep? Do you actually sleep with your eyes open? You are one strange woman."

"Leave, demon!" She hissed, forcing herself up to sit by the edge of the bed. Both hands rubbed at her temples as she whispered words of discouragement, praying to have her brain raided by better thoughts. A psych vampire who can't watch after her own mind was most likely a joke.

Until she glanced towards the door, slowly, blushing deeply at the owner of her inner voices who simply stared back in awe. So it wasn't her imagination playing tricks, huh?

He blinked. Fast.

"... Did you think I—"

"Shut up." She lisped. Her hands continued to cradle her head even as he walked in, eyebrows arched.

"I was hoping you'd be less fussy after our conversation."

Without expecting an invitation, he crossed the distance between them and leaned into the wall across from her.

Surprisingly she didn't budge. Not until her body flinched at the cold breeze that entered freely from the gap he left by keeping the door open.

"Yeah, so was I." The woman closed her eyes and took a deep breath to keep herself from shaking.

Once aware of the situation, Gaius snatched her pillow and tossed it on the door. It slammed closed from the impact, but it wasn't loud enough to startle the others.

"Hey!" She gasped, watching the scene with eyes wide. "Couldn't you just go and close it manually? Like, running for it? You're a powerful vampire, dude."

Entertained by her fright, he smirked.

"I'm also way too comfortable standing right here... dude."

Gaius Augustine was a monster. Is a monster. She couldn't really tell. Decades of cruelty couldn't be wiped out so easily, as Kamilah strongly suggested whenever she mentioned his name. Yet, the way he looked at her with a mixture of sorrow and regret proved it true: Rheya broke him whole.

He stood still, stiffening once their eyes met, and suddenly all she could see was a wounded hound looking for shelter.

"Why are you here?" She asked at last. A simple question that sent him looking for scrappers of answers he couldn't quite provide.

Why was he there, really? Because she's the only one who didn't give him a hard time? Because she knew how his mind worked, and therefore they had a reliable bond?

Because she's the only good thing left of the Rheya he once loved?

He needn't consider any further. That last possibility drained all colors from his face. Staring blankly ahead, his mouth slightly ajar, Gaius ignored her altogether and hurried towards the door.

"Wait!" She called out. Without further ado, Athena leaped to her feet and approached the man to lay a hand on his as it reached for the knob.

The look he gave her was a haunting one. Desperate. He couldn't bear looking at her face without feeling himself break further.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

He was terrified of her.

"I must leave." He blurted out, but his body remained unmoving. The gentle touch he felt on his hand moved on to his cheek, and suddenly he found himself leaning into it.

What the hell, Athena? What are you doing?, She thought. He abducted you, raided your mind, tortured your friends, killed you!

Their eyes met once more, and this time they didn't go astray. They glared at each other's hues while their heads swirmed with questions of where they stood and what they meant.

Victim, victim, monster.

Both experiencing a strong attraction that most likely came to life due to their shared fear:

To lose a purpose without making it right.

Pulling away out of a sudden, Athena turned on her heels and walked in front of a mirror. He followed short after, magnetized, his hands yearning to grasp her hips but resting on his belt instead. His towering figure could be easily seen behind her as a smile crept on her rosy lips.

"What?" He frowned. "What's so amusing to you that clearly isn't to me?"

Biting on her bottom lip, she gestured towards their reflections, believing it would be enough. By the way his lips puckered, it wasn't.

"We're vampires. Yet we can see ourselves on the mirror. Hollywood's fishy, isn't it?"

Sighing sharply not to roll his eyes at her foolishness, he leaned into her to touch the mirror's surface. The way his chest pressed into her back so that his palm could reach the glass made her heartbeats quicken.

The funny look he gave her through a squint was enough to say he heard them loud and clear. And enjoyed being the cause of it.

"You don't believe Vlad's tales, do you? It's outrageous. The man is a buffoon." He quirked an eyebrow. Looking at the mirror at the same time, the two shot each other challenging glares until she burst into laughter.

"Nah. He's not that great, by the way. I don't see the appeal... and I've certainly had better."

Wiggling her eyebrows, Athena fist-bumped the air upon spotting a crimson shade spread on his cheeks. He'd have pulled away to adjust his posture if she hadn't laid her hand upon his.

Her fingers grazed his until curling around them, her touch so gentle he could barely feel it. He closed his eyes when she laid her head back on his shoulder, and his arm slowly slithered around her waist in return.

Humming to herself, Athena shrunk into his arms and cherished the warmth of his hold. Then, the touch of his lips on her ear, of his breath tickling her skin.

"I do see the appeal in this." He growled, softly, making her body shiver from goosebumps. "Of holding you close to me instead of hunting you down. Of saving you instead of dragging you to harm's way."

The hand he had holding on her waist moved up to her breasts, hovering over her cleavage as he reached for a necklace as an excuse to his gestures. Her heart was entirely out of control at this point, beating faster by the minute – but she didn't care. She wanted him to be aware of his effects. Tilting her head, she brushed her lips across his jawline and smirked at the hiss she got in response.

"Well, there is a saying for that, y'know? Make love, not war."

Having distracted him with an array of kisses on his jaw, she reached back around her neck to unclip the necklace and toss it away. He needn't an excuse. Not anymore.

"So which one's gonna be? I'm warning you though, I'm great at waging war."

"You are infuriating." Without further notice, his hands clutched her hips to flip her around.

Once she could face him properly, Athena inched forth to try his lips for the first time, but he made sure to keep her at arm's length. His eyes, dark with lust, studied her frame before locking on her features. It's like he was seeing her for the first time, savoring the sight of something he craved despite unaware.

He took it in without a wish to kill but to touch, appraise, caress. Taste.

"Kiss me." She ordered, her voice but a whisper as his thumbs drew circles around her hips.

"No, Bloodkeeper..." He hummed, his nose brushing hers as he fought the urge to give it in. "I'm not so sure I am worthy of your lips."

Dodging temptation, he pressed a kiss to her cheek instead. A warm reminder that there's still good in this world as much as there could be in him.

"Goodnight, Athena."

She shook her head. He couldn't leave now, not when she found a way around the sharp edges of his heart. However, he was too determined to cut it short before it was too late. Even if something told him they were way past that.

Averting his gaze not to meet her hungry eyes, he planted one last kiss on her forehead and left with haste.

"Great..." She mumbled, more restless than ever. "Now I definitely can't sleep."

-//-

#bloodbound #bloodbound choices #bloodbound book 3 #bloodbound fic #bloodbound drabble #gaius augustine #gaius x mc #yes it is real the cursed ship mwah #bb choices #bb pb #theclownandtheflame : victim victim monster

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secretshinigami · 5 years

Text

Concrete Box

Author: @silcnt-scul For: @queer-of-the-blue-moon Pairings/Characters: Light Yagami, (implied) L Lawliet Rating/Warnings: Claustrophobia tw Prompt: AU where Light actually feels guilty when he’s almost done with eliminating L, and overwhelmed, he hesitates which ruins his plans (but maybe it’s better this way). Author’s notes: tbh I had no idea what I was doing with this, but it was kinda fun actually even tho I’ve never written this kind of stuff before.

In the end, it had been his own guilt that brought him down.

The concrete walls seemed to be more suffocating than usual today, an occurrence Light would have thought impossible – but once he had also deemed impossible his downfall, and being locked into a light-grey hell filled with bright lights, with no windows, no clocks, no way to communicate to the outside world besides the camera which looked at him, unblinking, unswaying – every now and then, someone would speak – L, he thought – but never converse – only unfeeling voice, announcing whatever it deemed necessary for Light to know.

His own garden of Eden, where he was safe – contained within a concrete box, with everything necessary for him to stay alive. A lumpy bed with a thin blanket and pillow, a toilet and a shower, a sink where he could drink water(but the water was always room temperature, unpleasantly warm), and a tiny chute in the wall from which arrived his food thrice per day, guarded by a watchful eye… when Light had first thought of this, he had laughed, laughed hysterically for what felt like hours, before slumping down against a wall with a heavy sigh. At least Adam and Eve had gotten out by committing a sin – but there was no Tree of Knowledge here, no snake to tempt him. Only L, watching him through the camera, perhaps saying a word or a few if he deemed Light worthy enough – the only luxury the detective had allowed for him was the fact that the lights darkened somewhat a while after the third meal after Light’s waking, which let the ex-god sleep for a bit.

Oh, how he wished he had never waited to kill L – a day of hesitation had brought Light here, an overwhelming wave of guilt that had stripped him of control over himself and made him wait with killing L, make excuses – let him live just for a longer, he is an interesting person, he might be useful in my plans – and these human-like feelings had taken his hope to see the outside world, taken his life from him, leaving his body to live in this prison – oh, he had tried to get out alright, perhaps in the most foolish possible way – scraping and hitting at the walls - but the chamber had filled with a thick vapour before he was able to do any harm to himself or the chamber, and within seconds Light’s sight was gone, as heavy sleep brought itself over him – and worse yet, he had waken in a straightjacket, unable to move – the voice had warned him that the consequences would always be the same.

Every now and then, Light spoke to the camera – though not always did he receive answers, and even when he did, they were never answers to his questions. However, in a rather odd way, the mechanical, scrabbled voice was a grounding point for Light, something for his sanity to grab onto. Though the voice never was kind to him, and always made him feel worse than before, Light kept trying to get it to communicate more, like a foolish dog that keeps sticking its nose into boiling water – and so he did it again, without thought, without decision – words simply spilled out of his mouth, voice weaker than it had been yesterday – little by little, Light could realize that he was falling apart. “Kira will rise again,” he made a expression towards the camera between a grimace and a smile, “Others are bound to come, and they will not hesitate.”

Silence from the camera speaker, and Light wanted to hit it – but the camera was too high for him to reach anyways, and he knew it would probably end with him in a straightjacket again. Well, it was not like he was completely weaponless, even if his weapon was a dry wooden stick two centimeters long against a machine gun.

“Look at you, great and mighty L, too important to even talk to your prisoner,” a sneer came onto his face, “Or are you scared? Scared that I’ll find a way out?” A nonsense, he knew – Light had come to a conclusion long ago that this place was unescapable. Yet there still was a certain joy in fantasizing and letting L think he knew a way – a facade he had no doubt the detective could easily see through. However, in a bare room even useless words are fun and thrilling, for human mind yearns for stimulation. Though Light often found himself doing push-ups for the sake of doing something – because in the echo of their own thoughts can drive a person crazy if there is nothing to do – eventually even those became the same tired routine that he put barely any thought into.

The fool’s play continued, “You know, L, I forgot to mention to you something Kira could do. I know your lifespan, and it is rather low,” not that Light had any doubt that the detective would live to see the old age – with his diet of sweets, staying inside all day and other rather unhealthy habits, Light would have been surprised if the detective were to make it to fifty, even forty. Not that Light would probably be alive to see it – though for now L seemed to keep him in this place like a guinea pig, Light had no doubt that he would be killed soon.

The lights suddenly darkened, and Light decided to make one last jape, before using the opportunity to sleep – after all, dreaming in this box was always preferable to staying awake. “So you are scared, aren’t you? Putting my to sleep like that,” With that, he turned away from the camera to lay onto the hard bed – a thin mattress on a metal sheet bolted to the wall.

It did not take him long to fall asleep and dream – the dream was quite sweet, for in this alternate reality he had not hesitated – L fell into his arms, and Kira reigned over the world.

But the moment the lights brightened again – about eight hours later – he would be brought back into this box, for his own guilt had pushed him from his throne.

#fanfiction #submission #light yagami #Death Note #Mello's Birthday Bash 2018 #silcntscul #queerofthebluemoon #ratings: general #claustrophobia

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booknerd405 · 7 years

Text

The answer to the Shakespeare asks cuz I’m an idiot (love u Kate)

@themeltedheadaches i blame this on the tumblr mobile app but here ya go <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 (your answers were amazing btw aahhhhh)

Antony: What bad habits do you need to break?

cracking my back, procrastinating, thinking all my friends secretly hate me...

Beatrice: What is the achievement you’re most proud of?

tbh this is kinda embarrassing (esp. since i had to audition like 2 months late cuz i chickened out originally) but joining symphony and not being completely terrible at it cuz music has always been a super private thing for me and playing any instrument at all in front of/with a group of people who are judging me hardcore is v not like me at all so yeah.

Benvolio: What comes to mind when you think of peace?

reading a book for so long in my bed that i get super cold even in the middle of August, my stuffed animal, watching TV with my entire family stuffed onto that poor red couch we’ve had since i was born, (really any time i can sit and do nothing with someone i care about and it isn’t awkward), waking up to find my dog curled up against my butt

Bianca: What do you want most in life?

To be happy with my life and my choices. I don’t want to be near the end of my life and start regretting all the things i didn’t do or try because i was too scared of failure. to be able to look back and say that I truly lived.

Celia: Do you want to fall in love?

i’m assuming this means romantically, so the answer is yes. i felt a bit foolish aka my ego was highkey bruised after sophomore year but it was worth it. in a broader sense, i’m already in love with so many things and people, i fall in love with something or someone as often as i can. Today i fell in love with how strong the smell of spring hit so suddenly in back yard this year.

Circe: Would you rather be loved or feared?

...why not both??

Claudius: What is the worst thing you’ve ever done?

my mind immediately jumps to every time i was a bitch or rude or plain mean to someone in elementary school who just wanted a friend or to fit in. i know i was young and supposedly didn’t know any better but i’d been on the other end before and i hate that i contributed to someone else in the world feeling the same way i did

Cordelia: Do you consider yourself a good person?

i would say that I try my hardest

Cressida: What makes you feel trapped?

my laziness, feeling like i should be doing more with my day but not having the energy or willpower to even get up

Desdemona: Do you believe that the truth will set you free?

i’d rather be told the truth than a lie, but I think a person’s response to the truth will determine whether they’re set free

Edgar: Do you want to make your family proud?

Always, the worst days in my life are the days where i feel like i’ve disappointed my parents

Edmund: Do you ever wish you’d been born someone else? If so, who?

Gertrude: Would you (or have you) ever cheated on a significant other?

Definitely not.

Hamlet: Do you prefer to think things through thoroughly or act on impulse?

oh god i think things through so goddamn much i’m practically hamlet himself, can’t get any shit done

Hecate: Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

Definitely an introvert (dorming is gonna be HELL)

Helenus: Do you believe in God?

I’d like to but i just don’t

Hippolyta: What is your biggest regret?

not doing any art classes in high school until i absolutely had to. i wouldve met so many more people and symphony this year has just been the perfect break in the middle of the day that i never knew i needed.

Horatio: Who do you love most?

My family, especially my dad. i don’t know if id be even half as successful or happy in my life if it wasn’t for him. our 3 am walks in a random campground, going into his engineering workplace since i was 5, the number of times he made me cry by doing something silly like trying to teach me how negative numbers worked when i was 6. also my friends, i tend to only have 1 really close friend at a time that i love the most and she (hopefully) knows who she is

Juliet: What is your favorite luxury?

chocolate, french fries and ketchup, parents who are too good to me, fountain pens that i keep accidentally ruining cuz i keep messing with them

Lady Macbeth: What is your favorite thing about yourself?

physically, probably my eyes or my hair, though both have had their bad days. (also the mole on my hip but that’s not there anymore no i’m not salty) mentally idk i hate and love practically everything else about me in equal measure

Macbeth: Have you ever killed anyone? Would you?

No and i really don’t think so

Malcolm: What does honor mean to you?

being able to take failure in stride and learn from it, trying, being active and engaged in what you choose to do with your time, taking in others into consideration with your actions

Medea: Do you have any quirks?

I bounce like hell when I walk but i also look so angry that i’m bout to kill someone...so pls don’t look at me while i walk its embarrassing, i usually don’t use a pillow when i sleep

Mercutio: Is there anyone you would die for?

I’d like to be able to answer my friends and family but truthfully i don’t know if i could ever be that brave

Miranda: Is happiness a choice?

I think most of the time it is, but not always

Oberon: Does reputation matter to you?

i think it used to?? but now idk i feel like ppl can think whatever the hell they want of me & the ppl that matter will know the truth and won’t care about my reputation. tho i suppose it does kinda matter to me because having a bad reputation shuts down a lot of opportunities in life

Ophelia: Is there anything you regret not doing?

i feel like i already answered this...

Orsino: If you could have any material thing in the world, what would it be?

literally every fountain pen ever (this answer will probably change in a few months/years)

Paris: If you had the chance to rule the world, would you?

HAHAHAHAHAHAH nope nope no fucking way no thank you no siree no ma’am

Portia: When did you lose your innocence?

idk man my parents let me watch Police Academy when i was like 4 years old and i had a fucked up imagination for as long as i can remember i don’t think i ever had my full innocence

Puck: Do you consider yourself a mischievous person?

;) no (that means yes!)

Romeo: How far would you go for love?

too damn far, i don’t actually like how far i’ll go for love

Rosalind: What does your ideal day entail?

waking up early (but not so early that i’m super tired) and staying in bed doing nothing (preferably cuddling with someone) until later when my dog will start crying at me to get up, then spending some time at a park with friends doing stupid things and making stupid jokes and eating cake and chocolate, then going home and watching a movie with my family and my dad makes us all cheeseburgers, ending the day by taking a bath with a bath bomb that doesn’t have fucking glitter in it then accidentally falling asleep while rereading one of my favorite books

Rosaline: Which people from your past haunt you?

i try not to let my past effect me so much but probably Catherine still does. I thought we were the perfect friends that would be together forever but it turned out she had hated me for so many years, had been blaming me in part for her self harm. its so hard to trust when a someone says that they enjoy being my friend because i believed her and i was so so wrong and what if i’m making the same mistakes again and ppl think i’m trying to show myself up thinking i’m a terrible person that they actually hate

Sebastian: Is violence ever the answer?

No.

Titania: Do you believe in magic?

If you ask me during the day, no

Ask me at night, when i’m driving alone or outside under the stars... :)

Tybalt: If you could kill one person without consequences, who would it be?

No one

Viola: How skilled of a liar are you?

Sometimes I think i’m an okay liar but probably i’m terrible and my mom was just pretending to know I wasn’t hanging out with 79 to humor me

Volumnia: Describe the biggest sacrifice you’ve made.

i sacrificed an hour of sleep a few days in a row earlier this week to practice playing the auxiliary percussion in pilatus during concert band

#ask #kate #shakespeare #<3 #i'm an idiot

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skiplo-wave · 7 years

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prompt: Kings Gramander with loyal protective Auror Knights. King Percy is a fierce protector of his kingdom and subjects, and King Newt is a kindhearted lil cinnamon roll how helps anyone in need. And maybe Grindlewald is a disgraced Lord or evil visiting King who poisons King Newt and his husband Percy is distraught and unwilling to leave his side until he is better. When Grindlewald is found the kingdom demands a severe punishment for hurting their beloved King Newt.

Sorry this took forever anon, hope you liked it

If you asked what was the best kingdom around it be Gramander Kingdom. Everyone was treated with fairness, man women didn’t matter everything and one was equal. And that’s all thanks to their 2 kings, King Newt and King Percival.

King Percival cares about the law and protecting his people, Which is why he created the Auror knights, all very loyal, skills ranging from close combat to magic. He admits their like his children. Act like children when crime is low, but when actual war or battle is happening the knights give it 150% in protecting their home and Kings. If things got really serious Percival will help too no questions asked, depending on the crime He may let you have mercy, which is would be decided by King Newt.

King Newt is the nicest people you ever meet. He spends most of his time outside helping his people or with his creatures then just sitting around. All his creatures are for better words magical. He even has dragons that can grow big or small depending on they are at. But don’t let his kindness fool you, if taken advantage of or harming his kingdom and animals there you chance of mercy is very very low. And sadly his kindness lend him to becoming very ill.

One rainy night , a travel came by looking for refugee, saying he had escape an evil Kingdom with a sadistic ruler that was Gellert Grindelwald. Newt felt bad for the traveler, he wish he stop said ruler but that may endanger him, Percival, and his kingdom. That’s what Percival loved about Newt, even if their hands where tied, he still find someway to help big or small. The traveler has been in their Kingdom for 2 days,to make him feel more welcome Newt threw a party inviting everyone. The travel that was treated with kindness from everyone even the Kings poisoned Newt, reveling his self to be Gellert Grindelwald he was skilled in magic, dark magic. Percival was furious sending all his knights to capture the evil man, even sent out Newt’s dragons that were good at smelling magic.

It was a dark time, 2 weeks of Newt being ill, all the healers using all magic they had to and knew finding a cure. Percival stayed by his King side doing whatever he can to just keep Newt breathing. He was very pale at one point he was coughing up blood. Newt is a strong man and somehow still managing a smile on his face, Percival was in tears, he almost hurt one of his healers hearing “he may not make it”. He was in ragged at those words and refused to accept them. When his Knights found Grindelwald he made sure his punishment will be long making him suffer. Finally his Aurors found Grindelwald having a smug look on his face, “ I say your highness how’s Newt. It won’t be long ti-” Percival kicked the bastard’s face hard, enjoying the groan and blood ruining down his face.

Grindelwald was sent to the dungeon. He thanked the heavens the man had the cure for Newt of course it took some flogging for the evil man to confess. 3 days after getting the cure Newt was better. He was still weak but standing, talking even. Newt hugged Percival so tightly, he might have broke the other king’s back. He cried saying sorry over and over again saying he was foolish taking in a stranger. Percival was not upset at all he was just glad Newt was well again and to make it better Grindel was in their dungeon to atone for his crimes. Nearly killing a king is automatic death. But the two kings made sure Grindelwalds death was painful and suffered. 2 weeks the same amount of Newt was poison, Grindelwald went through all types of tortures. Percival enjoyed every second, even letting his Knights suggest what else to do.

The day finally came for Grindelwalds execution, All deaths were never made public. The people just assume the criminals were roughed up a bit and sent on their way promising to never do it again thanks to Newt. But this was different EVERYONE was there. Grindelwald was a mess, body damaged, scars everywhere, he no longer had that cocky grin on his face, there was actual fear in him. He was going to be hanged, tho the kings subjects preferred he be burned alive. Percival and Newt sat and watched as the nose was wrapped around his neck, “ Any last words” an Auror asked making sure the rope was extra tight. Grindelwald looked at Newt face full of regret. “ I’m sorry, I enjoyed the kindness you given me and I regret poisoning you.” The kingdom was silent all looked at their king waiting for a response. “ Apology not accepted” Newt said with coldness in his voice he moved his hand to his neck as if he was slicing it. Grindelwald felt his body fall, and he was dead.

It took time for the Gramander kingdom to recover from Grindelwalds crime. Newt was very cautious when letting others in. Newt was rather distant from his people. No one was upset the evil man tried to damage Newt’s trust in people probably to turn him from loving to heartless. But thankful with Percival’s support along with his people Newt was once again his cheerful, helpful self. Percival was very happy seeing this Newt again.

#gramander #newt x percival #newt scamander #percival graves #au #fanfic #fantastic beasts and where to find them

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