#i could be on a boat!! in my favorite city in the state!! crying real tears!!!

[frenchy-and-the-sea]

Pain!! Agony!! Just found out that one of the ships from the organization that owns my absolute favorite tall ship of all time is going to be in a town in my state for the next five days, but it's JUST far enough to be too far for a day trip!! and I have chores that I need to do!! Woe!!! Pain!!!

#hush frenchy #I'm about to go on a big trip and need to spend the weekend preparing #and YES OKAY she's a 16th century ship and thus not my FAVORITE type but!! #i could be on a boat!! in my favorite city in the state!! crying real tears!!!

[timeless-hollywood-classics]

Rhonda Fleming (born Marilyn Louis; August 10, 1923 – October 14, 2020) was an American film and television actress and singer. She acted in more than 40 films, mostly in the 1940s and 1950s, and became renowned as one of the most glamorous actresses of her day, nicknamed the "Queen of Technicolor" because she photographed so well in that medium.

Fleming was born Marilyn Louis in Hollywood, California, to Harold Cheverton Louis, an insurance salesman, and Effie Graham, a stage actress who had appeared opposite Al Jolson in the musical Dancing Around at New York's Winter Garden Theatre from 1914 to 1915. Fleming's maternal grandfather was John C. Graham, an actor, theater owner, and newspaper editor in Utah.

She began working as a film actress while attending Beverly Hills High School, from which she graduated in 1941. She was discovered by the well-known Hollywood agent Henry Willson, who changed her name to "Rhonda Fleming".

"It's so weird", Fleming said later. "He stopped me crossing the street. It kinda scared me a little bit -- I was only 16 or 17. He signed me to a seven-year contract without a screen test. It was a Cinderella story, but those could happen in those days."

Fleming's agent Willson went to work for David O. Selznick, who put her under contract.[5][6] She had bit parts in In Old Oklahoma (1943), Since You Went Away (1944) for Selznick, and in When Strangers Marry (1944).

She received her first substantial role in the thriller, Spellbound (1945), produced by Selznick and directed by Alfred Hitchcock. "Hitch told me I was going to play a nymphomaniac", Fleming said later. "I remember rushing home to look it up in the dictionary and being quite shocked." The film was a success and Selznick gave her another good role in the thriller The Spiral Staircase (1946), directed by Robert Siodmak.

Selznick lent her out to appear in supporting parts in the Randolph Scott Western Abilene Town (1946) at United Artists and the film noir classic Out of the Past (1947) with Robert Mitchum and Kirk Douglas, at RKO, where she played a harried secretary.

Fleming's first leading role came in Adventure Island (1947), a low-budget action film made for Pine-Thomas Productions at Paramount Pictures in the two-color Cinecolor process and co-starring fellow Selznick contractee Rory Calhoun.

Fleming then auditioned for the female lead in a Bing Crosby film, a part Deanna Durbin turned down at Paramount in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1949), a musical loosely based on the story by Mark Twain. Fleming exhibited her singing ability, dueting with Crosby on "Once and For Always" and soloing with "When Is Sometime". They recorded the songs for a three-disc, 78-rpm Decca album, conducted by Victor Young, who wrote the film's orchestral score. Her vocal coach in Hollywood, Harriet Lee, praised her "lovely voice", saying, "she could be a musical comedy queen". The movie was Fleming's first Technicolor film. Her fair complexion and flaming red hair photographed exceptionally well and she was nicknamed the "Queen of Technicolor", a moniker not worth much to her as she would have preferred to be known for her acting. Actress Maureen O'Hara expressed a similar sentiment when the same nickname was given to her around this time.

She then played another leading role opposite a comedian, in this case Bob Hope, in the The Great Lover (1949). It was a big hit and Fleming was established. "After that, I wasn't fortunate enough to get good directors", said Fleming. "I made the mistake of doing lesser films for good money. I was hot – they all wanted me – but I didn't have the guidance or background to judge for myself."

In February 1949, Selznick sold his contract players to Warner Bros, but he kept Fleming.

In 1950 she portrayed John Payne's love interest in The Eagle and the Hawk, a Western.

Fleming was lent to RKO to play a femme fatale opposite Dick Powell in Cry Danger (1951), a film noir. Back at Paramount, she played the title role in a Western with Glenn Ford, The Redhead and the Cowboy (1951).

In 1950, she ended her association with Selznick after eight years, though her contract with him had another five years to run.

Fleming signed a three-picture deal with Paramount. Pine-Thomas used her as Ronald Reagan's leading lady in a Western, The Last Outpost (1951), John Payne's leading lady in the adventure film Crosswinds (1951), and with Reagan again in Hong Kong (1951).

She sang on NBC's Colgate Comedy Hour during the same live telecast that featured Errol Flynn, on September 30, 1951, from the El Capitan Theater in Hollywood.

Fleming was top-billed for Sam Katzman's The Golden Hawk (1952) with Sterling Hayden, then was reunited with Reagan for Tropic Zone (1953) at Pine-Thomas. In 1953, Fleming portrayed Cleopatra in Katzman's Serpent of the Nile for Columbia. That same year, she filmed a western with Charlton Heston at Paramount, Pony Express (1953), and two films shot in three dimensions (3-D), Inferno with Robert Ryan at Fox, and the musical Those Redheads From Seattle with Gene Barry, for Pine-Thomas. The following year, she starred with Fernando Lamas in Jivaro, her third 3-D release, at Pine-Thomas. She went to Universal for Yankee Pasha (1954) with Jeff Chandler. Fleming also traveled to Italy to play Semiramis in Queen of Babylon (1954).

Fleming was part of a gospel singing quartet with Jane Russell, Connie Haines, and Beryl Davis.

Much of the location work for Fleming's 1955 Western Tennessee's Partner, in which she played Duchess opposite John Payne as Tennessee and Ronald Reagan as Cowpoke, was filmed at the Iverson Movie Ranch in Chatsworth, California, (known as the most heavily filmed outdoor location in the history of film and television). A distinctive monolithic sandstone feature behind which Fleming (as Duchess) hid during an action sequence, later became known as the Rhonda Fleming Rock. The rock is part of a section of the former movie ranch known as "Garden of the Gods", which has been preserved as public parkland.

Fleming was reunited with Payne and fellow redhead Arlene Dahl in a noir at RKO, Slightly Scarlet (1956). She did other thrillers that year; The Killer Is Loose (1956) with Joseph Cotten and Fritz Lang's While the City Sleeps (1956), co-starring Dana Andrews, at RKO. Fleming was top billed in an adventure movie for Warwick Films, Odongo (1956).

Fleming had the female lead in John Sturges's Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957) co-starring Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas, a big hit. She supported Donald O'Connor in The Buster Keaton Story (1957) and Stewart Granger in Gun Glory (1957) at MGM.

In May 1957, Fleming launched a nightclub act at the Tropicana in Las Vegas. It was a tremendous success. "I just wanted to know if I could get out on that stage – if I could do it. And I did! ... My heart was to do more stage work, but I had a son, so I really couldn't, but that was in my heart."

Fleming was Guy Madison's co star in Bullwhip (1958) for Allied Artists, and supported Jean Simmons in Home Before Dark (1958), which she later called her favorite role ("It was a marvellous stretch", she said).

Fleming was reunited with Bob Hope in Alias Jesse James (1959) and did an episode of Wagon Train.

She was in the Irwin Allen/Joseph M. Newman production of The Big Circus (1959), co-starring Victor Mature and Vincent Price. This was made for Allied Artists, whom Fleming later sued for unpaid profits.

Fleming travelled to Italy again to make The Revolt of the Slaves (1959) and was second billed in The Crowded Sky (1960).

In 1960, she described herself as "semi-retired", having made money in real estate investments. That year she toured her nightclub act in Las Vegas and Palm Springs.

During the 1950s, 1960s, and into the 1970s, Fleming frequently appeared on television with guest-starring roles on The Red Skelton Show, The Best of Broadway, The Investigators, Shower of Stars, The Dick Powell Show, Wagon Train, Burke's Law, The Virginian, McMillan & Wife, Police Woman, Kung Fu, Ellery Queen, and The Love Boat.

In 1958, Fleming again displayed her singing talent when she recorded her only LP, entitled simply Rhonda (reissued in 2008 on CD as Rhonda Fleming Sings Just For You). In this album, which was released by Columbia Records, she blended then-current songs like "Around The World" with standards such as "Love Me or Leave Me" and "I've Got You Under My Skin". Conductor-arranger Frank Comstock provided the musical direction.

On March 4, 1962, Fleming appeared in one of the last segments of ABC's Follow the Sun in a role opposite Gary Lockwood. She played a Marine in the episode, "Marine of the Month".

In December 1962, Fleming was cast as the glamorous Kitty Bolton in the episode, "Loss of Faith", on the syndicated anthology series, Death Valley Days, hosted by Stanley Andrews. In the story line, Kitty pits Joe Phy (Jim Davis) and Peter Gabriel (Don Collier) to run against each other for sheriff of Pima County, Arizona. Violence results from the rivalry.

In the 1960s, Fleming branched out into other businesses and began performing regularly on stage and in Las Vegas.

One of her final film appearances was in a bit-part as Edith von Secondburg in the comedy The Nude Bomb (1980) starring Don Adams. She also appeared in Waiting for the Wind (1990).

Fleming has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In 2007, a Golden Palm Star on the Palm Springs Walk of Stars was dedicated to her.

Fleming worked for several charities, especially in the field of cancer care, and served on the committees of many related organizations. In 1991, her fifth husband, Ted Mann, and she established the Rhonda Fleming Mann Clinic for Women's Comprehensive Care at the UCLA Medical Center.

In 1964, Fleming spoke at the "Project Prayer" rally attended by 2,500 at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California. The gathering, which was hosted by Anthony Eisley, a star of ABC's Hawaiian Eye series, sought to flood the United States Congress with letters in support of mandatory school prayer, following two decisions in 1962 and 1963 of the United States Supreme Court, which struck down mandatory school prayer as conflicting with the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.

Joining Fleming and Eisley at the rally were Walter Brennan, Lloyd Nolan, Dale Evans, Pat Boone, and Gloria Swanson. Fleming declared, "Project Prayer is hoping to clarify the First Amendment to the Constitution and reverse this present trend away from God." Eisley and Fleming added that John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, Roy Rogers, Mary Pickford, Jane Russell, Ginger Rogers, and Pat Buttram would also have attended the rally had their schedules not been in conflict.

Fleming married six times:

Thomas Wade Lane, interior decorator, (1940–1942; divorced), one son

Dr. Lewis V. Morrill, Hollywood physician, (July 11, 1952 – 1954; divorced)

Lang Jeffries, actor, (April 3, 1960 – January 11, 1962; divorced)

Hall Bartlett, producer (March 27, 1966 – 1972; divorced)

Ted Mann, producer, (March 11, 1977 – January 15, 2001; his death)

Darol Wayne Carlson (2003 – October 31, 2017; his death)

Through her son Kent Lane (b. 1941), Rhonda also had two granddaughters (Kimberly and Kelly), four great-grandchildren (Wagner, Page, Lane, and Cole), and two great-great-grandchildren.

She was a Presbyterian and a Republican who supported Dwight Eisenhower during the 1952 presidential election.

Fleming died on October 14, 2020, in Saint John's Health Center, Santa Monica, California, at the age of 97. She is interred at Hillside Memorial Park in Culver City, California.

#rhonda fleming #classic hollywood #classic movie stars #golden age of hollywood #old hollywood #1940s hollywood #1950s hollywood #1960s hollywood #1970s hollywood

[strangerays]

Nothing in Particular Update #1

Hello, hello!! It’s been a really long time since I’ve written an update for this story! (this is a real update btw, forget the “first” one I had) To be honest, I haven’t been able to work on this story as much as I would like, being busy with classes and... well just life in general. (what I mean by this is that Shadow and Bone was released on Netflix) But! I do have some excerpts I wanted to put out there as well as some overall changes to the story.

Before I start: here’s the actual link to the story synopsis/characters!

TAGLIST (ask to be +/-): @wannabeauthorzofija @a-completely-normal-girl @baguettethebooklover @corkytheguar @writeherewaiting​ @raenawrites

STORY CHANGES/IDEAS:

First off: I had to rewrite 30,000 words and basically turn it into 10,000. The first draft was icky, but I turned it into something I really enjoy! This is a sign that writing is always worth it!!

I added in a couple of characters! I was starting to feel like the story might not have been balanced enough. Luckily, the muse struck me and I created Mars and Theo! Mars is a lovely (and enigmatic) older woman that Ray meets at a bird sanctuary and Theo is a new friend of Lonan’s.

There wasn’t much action in the beginning of the story, so I wrote a confrontation between Jude’s friends and another person that Ray spies on. This is how she meets Jude, and I am in lovvve.

The timeline for the entire story might be a little bit longer than I intended! I went into this project thinking it might only take place over a month, but in order for Ray’s mental health journey to be realistic, I’m going to shoot for an entire school year (around six-seven months). Honestly, I’m just happy I get to write a Halloween scene. As for the word count total HAHA I have no clue what that will look like.

I think Lonan will be a bit of a back-burner character! At first, I was a little wary of this decision since he’s my favorite, but I think it would be very exciting to have Ray hype him up before he ever appears in the story. That way, the reader sort of starts to think about him in one way, yet he might be completely different when he finally shows up...??

Chapter titles are one of my favorite things about this story. Also! I am a huge fan of short chapters! They move the story right along.

I prefer to write slower and use other projects to balance out this one when I get a little tired of it. Over the last month or so, I’ve gotten really into short story writing again! This has been really helpful in working on my specificity and pretty prose. Even though the short stories don’t contribute to Nothing in Particular, I’ve been taking a lot of what I’m learning and applying it!

EXCERPTS (UNDER THE CUT)

CHAPTER ONE: THE SPY

#1

During the summer between my sophomore and junior year, Lonan Herrings packed me into his Dad’s repainted Chevrolet, left his name sharp on his mother’s tongue, and drove to New York City at six in the morning. For the first time since we’d become friends, jealousy weighed our silence. He buzzed across the highway, even though we knew his mother had no intention of finding us.

#2

“Which animal would I be,” he asked, “if I left tomorrow and lived in the forest?”

“Why would you want to do that?” I smiled even though I knew he was probably serious.

His shoulders squared and he looked out his window. Two men in the next car shouted at each other, their windows down. Something about a mortgage. “You would come with me, of course.” He turned to me. “Which animal gets along best with a doe?”

#3

I shut my eyes to snap the cold. It might have been the fact that, most times, his gentle voice pulled ragged words from his throat, as if he had just stepped out of the rain after standing in it for hours. It might have been the way he cupped the rim of a camera with humble demure. I was never afraid to tell him anything in the patience that bled from him. His eyes were milky blue and he wore an olive jacket covered in pins that kept strangers interested. Since he seemed like he felt out of place most times, I never did. We were a grade apart; our friendship bloomed late. So long as I had a friend at all, I didn’t care how we’d met.

“You would be a blue jay,” I decided. For only a second, I’d been worried that I offended him, until his mouth curved to one side and he laughed softly, as though he wasn’t sure he was allowed. His head hovered over the steering wheel. A patch of freckles absently creeped over the bridge of his nose like winter weeds.

This first chapter is a flashback to exactly a year before the second chapter takes place! After an argument with his mom, Lonan drives out of state with Ray. I plan for it to be all we see of Lonan (in the present) up until the halfway point of the story.

CHAPTER TWO: I WAS QUIET

#1

I was a firm believer that the best art was created when the artist was alone, angry, or depressed.

After Lonan secured his train ticket to New York, I was surprised to find that I became none of these things. We buried a time capsule, painted his walls cerulean, and drove two-hundred miles without a word to anyone. Some of my most colorful memories were unplanned in the beginning.

#2

Katherine Herrings’ bakery loitered over the coast of town, sheltered in pitch crags and shallow tide pools congested with cigarettes. I often ate lunch on the deck on my break. She was the only person I knew who – after everything her nephew had said – didn’t make him the first topic of our conversations.

An indie rock song that I recognized buzzed from a radio below me. I pulled my tablet screen down and pushed my chair out so the plastic legs kicked up and scratched the backs of my legs.  Slowly, I peered between my ankles, through the patio boards, and into the boat lodge below. Pumpkin-red hair plastered to my forehead in the heat that clung to the late days of September. Waves bubbled and crashed, peanut oil dripped from hot dog buns, and muffled gossip chirped like a family of cicadas. I bit my tongue at the bitter smoke that warped the wind.

#3

Jude laughed then, and her shoulders tipped, haughty. Waves hissed in her silence as the lights in the kitchen behind Katherine flickered. Her mouth opened slightly at the ring of dishes and laughter that danced with each other inside. A moment passed before she took a wide step back.

Together, her accomplices waltzed after her as she ran down the pavement, flecking sand until the night’s blue air gulped their outlines. Katherine beat a towel against the patio leg, then she slid and locked the door. Frogs jeered in the silence that pervaded the sea.

I whispered the name back to myself so I wouldn’t forget it. Jude Ahuja. I took a sip of ginger ale, and she buzzed on my lips.

The story cuts to Ray’s senior year of high school. Summer has just ended, Lonan has left for college, and her camera is broken. Jude is a bit like a character out of a film to her, and she wishes she could know more about her after witnessing a loud argument with Katherine Herrings, Lonan’s aunt.

CHAPTER THREE: PEOPLE-WATCHING

#1

Early into our friendship, I’d learned this patience. The first time he brought me to Sugarfell, he told me that all of the paths led back to the same place. As long as you played the game, you were guaranteed a prize. He didn’t speak much, but I knew he wasn’t a very good liar.

Less than an hour passed when I was met with silence. I crept up and down the same path four times. Each step sent a shock through my legs to my chest. The sun hadn’t risen to the highest point in the sky, still glimmering through tree branches in golden fractals, pulling on static darkness.

#2

“Are you crying?” he asked.

I shook my head fast. “No.” My voice barely reached a whisper. It was a lot deeper than normal.

He puckered his lips as though I had offended him. “But you were about to.”

“You said that all the paths lead back to one another.” I stood up from the jagged stump and shuffled through the leaves until the tips of our shoes were inches apart. “I knew you’d come back. And you did.”

#3

When I turned back, sore curiosity teased the emerald in Lonan’s eyes.

“Do you ever people-watch?” he asked softly.

This chapter is another really short chapter that I’m ultimately not sure I’m going to keep! I sort of included it by accident while Ray was riding her bike to the forest, but I ended up really liking it as a bridge into the next scene. Hopefully, I find I way to make it fit!!

CHAPTER FOUR: SUGAR-COATED

#1

Years with Lonan had prepared me for being alone. If you spend any long amount of time with someone, you’ll become a thief to their behaviors. Lonan observed too much. If I stared long enough, trees began to replace all of the people we’d ever seen. Oaks with roots that serpentined the ground like children splashing in the bay, pines with needles like spindly old hands, maples with hollows like watchful eyes.

#2

I did remember, but I couldn’t then. Blood gushed too close to his eyelid and dripped down his cheek like tears. There was a grace period in my life – likely when I was a newborn – when I couldn’t picture what my blood would look like on the light side of my skin.

And this is where I’ll leave off on the excerpts for now! I’ve been really focused on taking my time and setting things up before the next chapter, which is going to have lots more action in it. Things are going to start picking up again, so I’m really excited for that!

Thanks for reading if you made it this far :)

#nothing in particular and everything #my writing #writing updates #I was so so so #SOOOO #nervous about this one bros #I'm having a difficult time deciding what to share and what not to share #but I think I did an okay job #anyways #excited for the next scene I'll be writing #UPWARDS AND ONWARDS #<3

[lovemesomesurveys]

Are you fascinated by rivers?   The sound is very relaxing.

What’s the closest river to you? There’s one not too far away, actually.

Do you like the look of lights shining on water? Yes.

Do you like Google Earth? I haven’t used it in several years. I remember when it first came out the first thing everyone searched was their house lmao. Of alllll the places we could see. How long does it usually take you to make a survey?   I don’t make surveys.

Do you live near a volcano? No, thankfully.

How big is the screen on your digital camera? I don’t have a digital camera, I just use my phone (it’s an iPhone XR, so whatever size screen that is).

Are you tired of hearing about the stimulus package?   Oh wow this is a new survey. Anyway, no I wouldn’t say that. I wasn’t getting one, so it’s not something I paid much attention to to be honest. 

What’s the grossest thing you’ve read on fmylife.com?   I haven’t been on there in yearsssss. I used to love reading the stories on there. I just Googled it and wow, they’re still alive and kickin’. Perhaps I’ll check it out later.

Do you know why glacial ice is blue?   Hm. Nope.

Would you rather go on a cruise to Alaska or the Caribbean?   Caribbean. 

Have you seen a picture of the octo-mom when she was pregnant? Yeah.

Do you find train whistles comforting?   No. 

What bird is the cutest?   Hmm. Hummingbirds are cute.

Do you like it when they’re puffed up and fluffy?   Sure.

What’s the most annoying language?   I don’t find any language annoying.

Does animal abuse make you want to cry? Yes, it breaks my heart but it also fills me rage. 

Why do people who think the world’s gonna end stock up on food?   Ha, I guess they figure if they happen to survive at least they’ll have food to last for awhile.

Have you ever heard of Flower Mound, Texas?   Nope.

Isn’t it annoying when people act really stupid to get attention?   Yeah. 

Do you know anyone like that?   Not currently, but yeah I did.

Do you like watching shows about natural disasters and destructive weather?   No.

Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound?   Yes. 

Do big eyes freak you out?   The white patches on killer whales (are those their eyes?) freak. me. out. I have this weird irrational fear of killer whales. 

Have you ever stayed in a hotel room and watched TV all day?   Ha, yeah.

Does the place you live in have any man-made lakes?   Yes.

Were you surprised about them adding a 13th contestant on American Idol?   I hadn’t heard about it. I don’t watch American Idol.

Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? No.

Have you ever been dragged behind a boat on an intertube? No.

Have you ever held a real sword? Nope.

Do you rent movies from Blockbuster Online or Netflix?   No. I didn’t know you could rent from Blockbuster online. Huh.

Have you ever walked to another state?   Uh, no.

Do you like it when clouds are hovering over mountaintops?   Sure.

Does it always rain when you go on vacation?   No. We plan ahead and check the weather.

Why are the stores/buildings in New York City built with revolving doors? I don’t know.

Do you like sitting on stairs?   It’s not something I do.

Have you ever seen a tree over 100 years old?   Yeah. A forrest of old trees.

What’s your favorite movie that’s won Best Oscar?   Hmm.

Have you ever stayed up till 3 AM taking surveys?   It’s 4:49AM and here we are.

Have you ever dreamed that you were taking surveys? Ha, no I don’t think so. Surprisingly. 

Do you feel uncomfortable at fancy restaurants?   No. I don’t often go to fancy restaurants, but still. The only thing is that I don’t usually like the food. I’m too picky and basic. 

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[eldritchsurveys]

698.

Are you fascinated by rivers? >> Sure. Mostly big ones like the Mississippi and the Nile. What’s the closest river to you? >> I want to say the Grand River? There are a lot of small rivers around here, although sometimes I want to say the use of the word “river” to describe some of them is a... generous usage. Do you like the look of lights shining on water? >> Absolutely. Have you ever been in a building with over 100 floors? >> Yeah, I’ve been in the observatory at One World Trade Center.

Do you like Google Earth? >> I like that it exists. I don’t really use it myself.

How long does it usually take you to make a survey? >> I don’t make surveys. I’d imagine it’d take me a while to think of 25-40 engaging questions that I haven’t seen in 900 other surveys. Do you live near a volcano? >> No. How big is the screen on your digital camera? >> --- Are you tired of hearing about the stimulus package? >> I don’t recall hearing much about it even when it was actively happening. What’s the grossest thing you’ve read on fmylife.com? >> I don’t use that website. Do you know why glacial ice is blue? >> No, but now I’m mildly curious.

Would you rather go on a cruise to Alaska or the Caribbean? >> Definitely the Caribbean. But I probably wouldn’t mind also going on a northern cruise, especially if it means I’d get to see the northern lights -- I’d just rather do the nice warm one first. Have you seen a picture of the octo-mom when she was pregnant? >> I mean, probably. I don’t remember anything about it, though. Do you find train whistles comforting? >> From a certain distance. Get too close and it’s just fuckin loud. What bird is the cutest? >> I’ve never given it any thought. Do you like it when they’re puffed up and fluffy? >> Yeah, that’s pretty cute. What’s the most annoying language? >> I’ve never thought that about any language. I’m sure some are definitely more annoying to learn than others, particularly for English speakers, but I wouldn’t know.

Does animal abuse make you want to cry? >> No, but I understand the reaction. Don’t you just love the Bzoink forums? >> --- Why do people who think the world’s gonna end stock up on food? >> Hah, how timely is that for a survey that was written ten-plus years ago. (I’d imagine it’s because they’re in survivalist mode? I don’t personally have this response -- which will probably hamstring me when there actually is a disaster worth prepping for, but hey -- so I couldn’t say for sure.) Have you ever heard of Flower Mound, Texas? >> Well, I have now. Isn’t it annoying when people act really stupid to get attention? >> I don’t recall seeing anyone do that. Do you know anyone like that? >> Nope. Do you like watching shows about natural diasters and destructive weather? >> Sometimes. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? >> I would be hyped to see my own organs on a screen like that. Do big eyes freak you out? >> Not particularly. Have you ever stayed in a hotel room and watched TV all day? >> Yeah, when Sparrow came to visit me in NYC we basically stayed in the hotel room and watched cartoons for most of that week. It was like a vacation from my hectic ass life for me too, lol. Does the place you live in have any man-made lakes? >> I mean, maybe. I don’t know. Were you surprised about them adding a 13th contestant on American Idol? >> --- Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? >> No, that’s not a risk I’m willing to take. But I’ve definitely been tempted... Have you ever been dragged behind a boat on an intertube? >> Yes! Very fun. Have you ever held a real sword? >> Probably. Do you rent movies from Blockbuster Online or Netflix? >> I rarely rent movies and when I do it’s usually from Redbox or YouTube. Have you ever walked to another state? >> No. I’ve never lived close enough to a border that I could feasibly accomplish that. (Well, the border of New Jersey is a short distance from NYC, but there’s no way to walk there.) Do you like it when clouds are hovering over mountaintops? >> It looks cool in photos. Does it always rain when you go on vacation? >> Not always, no. Obviously the likelihood goes up when we go someplace like New Orleans, though. Why are the stores/buildings in New York City built with revolving doors? >> My guess is because it’s more efficient for high traffic. I may be wrong, but that’s always been my observation. Do you like sitting on stairs? >> I mean, it’s not... enjoyable in itself or anything. It can be nice to sit on a stoop on a summer day, though. Have yoy ever seen a tree over 100 years old? >> I’ve hung out with the Tree of Life in Audobon Park (NOLA), which is like 300+ years old. But there are probably other old trees I’ve encountered that I just didn’t realise were old. What\'s your favorite movie that\'s won Best Oscar? >> Oh, I don’t know. Have you ever stayed up till 3 AM taking surveys? >> No. Have you ever drempt you were taking surveys? >> No. I have dreamt of being on tumblr in general, though. Do you feel uncomfortable at fancy restaurants? >> No. I deserve to be there just as much as any other paying customer.

#surveys #survey #random survey

[pkmntrainergreyze]

The Apocalypse Suite (Tyler Joseph x Reader)

a/n: My frens know I’m trash for The Umbrella Academy and I suggest you read it. Real amazing comic series and characters. I noticed not a lot of people write an imagine using TUA, so yeah, expect major similarities.

Although I tweaked the plot and characters a bit, there are still spoilers regarding the Apocalypse Suite (or the comics at least, maybe the netflix adaption is different) (best hope it won’t be death note v2).

So yeah, read The Umbrella Academy before it airs on Netflix.

(p.s: there are .cbr files you can download free on getcomics and you can open them with the comic reader app. you didn’t hear it from me)

Warning ⚠: The Umbrella Academy Spoilers (duh)

————–

Tyler sighed and leaned on the plane’s window. The greasy caramel haired boy gripped his small keyboard tight. The child’s goo eyes observed his adopted brothers and sisters fight against France’s morale skyscraper at 6:26 in the morning. He can’t deduce why they have missions everyday. His father— Monocle won’t tell.

The Eiffel Tower’s summit glowed green. Number 3 (Pete/Rumor) twisted reality with his lies so citizens will evacuate. Fortunately every lie he says come true.

Number 1 (Ryan/Moonboy) hollered in command and only Number 6 (Brendon/Panic!)’s stomach tentacles seem to follow his lead. Ryan has super strength and loves playing leader while Brendon had monsters frolicking under his skin that is sometimes under his control.

When the tower ascended, Number 2 ((Y/n)/Kraken) prepared the blades. She’s known to be a knife casting child that can hold her breath for a day— and a brat.

But she’s his first favorite “sibling”. She’s the only one that shared his interests and understood him, together with Number Five. They wrote songs together— hers mostly about cryotic messages on how to utterly destroy Hargreeves with humiliation and his about beliefs and religion. The three of them could make a great band.

Oh, and Tyler has a school boy crush on her.

And now Number 4 (Frank/Séance) floated, aiming to contact the dead engineer for assistance. He’s psychic for a reason.

All those abilities made them equal in strength, aside from Number 7. Unlike his siblings superpowers, he’s a talentless slob with mediocre piano skills babysitted on Hargreeves’s private plane.

Out of 43 children, he was the seventh chosen for the Umbrella Academy. Sir Hargreeves claimed his orphans are gifted with abilities the norm can only imagine, yet he doesn’t seem to exhibit the description.

“Dad— I mean, Sir Monocle, Sir? Why can’t I play with the others?”

“Well Number Seven… There’s just nothing SPECIAL about you”

Tyler bobbed his head.

“Oh”

Inside, Tyler rebuked. But if he dare defy his father, he’ll be a reject in the streets. So he bottled it in, and inquired another instead.

“Where’s J— Number Five, Sir? I don’t see him anywhere” He asked, praying the man won’t reply insultingly.

“The Future, I presume. Ran away from home, no doubt. I can’t be sure, nor be bothered”

Tyler gasped at this— but envied his foster brother. The Kraken and Number Five were his closest friends, and one of them banished without him? Other than that how could a man— a father say that so blandly?

Hargreeves looked down, his monocle glinted him blind.

“Why don’t you go and play your piano?”

TWENTY YEARs LATER

“Does anyone wish to say anything?”

(Y/n) sighed and leaned on the nearest tree. They lost Brendon a few years back— and now Monocle. She discovered it’s better crying over a dirty calamari than a tyrant’s death. She barely casted a gaze down her father’s corpse. She did not like dusting her superhero custome for any occasion.

It obviously took a lot of time and money  polishing this funeral. Hell, it seemed like a wedding.

Everyone took giant leaps to be there. Her brother Ryan literally landed from space, Pete appeared after signing divorce papers from some guy named Patrick, Frank probably floated across the American borders and the most shocking news is their long time missing brother Number 5 came back from the future.

(It’s easy to spot who’s Number Five, considering he hadn’t aged a bit. He’s his seventy year old mind self trapped in his ten year old body)

Thank God the paparazzi met their dead end in front of the gates or else unanswerable questions will drill their heads to sleep.

But back to the present. Pogo, their talking caretaker chimpanzee’s question remained unanswered.

Ryan and Pete, the last of Hargreeves’s favorites inventions wore a grim expression. On the other hand Frank, Number Five, and (Y/n) displayed no sign of remorse. None of them dared to talk, not wanting to piss off one another.

Thankfully, Mrs Hargreeves took the spotlight. She wore a black trench coat to emphasize her husband’s death. She had puffy cheeks and looked like she cried before she arrived. The sight made Pete’s heart ache a bit. She was made to be the best mom. Equally a delicate and nice lady.

She began talking about how Gerard wasn’t the greatest father— and an even worse husband, in which everyone agreed fully. But when she spoke about him caring more about saving the world than personal relationship like a hero…

The Kraken called her words bullshit.

Pete and Ryan tried to warn Mrs Hargreeves, but it was too late.

If it’s barely a human being, how could it be a mother? It’s pathetic, a pathetic waste.

No one can make a mother out of parts and removable limbs. Why did everyone have to live their lives with everything plastered in man made inventions? No, they’re not superheros.

(Y/n) gripped her coat from behind and in one swift motion— she revealed her mother’s true nature.

They were all Sir Gerard-Fucking-Hargreeves’s lab rats.

Mrs Hargreeves’s body bared open organ systems and a stray heart. She cried, humiliated “I’m sorry…”

She sobbed “I shouldn’t have come”

Pete covered her with his jacket and cooed “It’s okay Mom”

Ryan grumbled in (Y/n)’s ear. This turmoil meant nothing in her head, and Mr Fly-Me-To-The-Moon can’t intimidate her.

“I’m warning you Kraken—”

“OR WHAT?!” She screamed and pushed his chest “YOU GONNA BEAT YOUR PROSTHETIC CHEST HARGREEVES CREATED?”

“EVERYTHING’S A LIE, COWBOY! HE LEFT US WITH NOTHING BUT A MAUSOLEUM FULL OF QUESTIONS AND A PIECE OF PLASTIC FOR A MOTHER”

She gazed at her mother’s synthetic black hair “Those tears aren’t even real”

Pete’s head snapped, bawling as he yelled “WELL THESE ARE”

(Y/n) flinched.

“Then too bad Tyler isn’t here” She mumbled. Pogo pressed a button and the casket lowered.

“He could play his piano…”

Not an hour had passed before Ryan and (Y/n) gripped each other’s throat in an almost ordinary fashion. This time, Moon had the upper hand. He pointed a ray gun against her temple, harnessing energy while his finger neared the trigger. And before (Y/n) could vision hanging out beside Bren’s pretty corpse, Number Five intervened.

“Maybe I wasn’t clear on what I saw back in the future!” He yelped.

“The world was destroyed just three days after Gerard’s death!”

Ryan froze.

Number Five looked down his watch “Time is running out”

Rumor scoffed at Moon “You haven’t changed a bit”

And when they thought everything is at peace, Pogo rode Séance’s shoulder as he flew, pointed at the carnival then screamed “Look!”

“The carnival! It’s on FIRE!”

It’s quite far from the mansion, but Ryan’s height and Frank’s psychic abilities let them saw the burning image. Moon’s face solidified. “The Niners” He muttered subconsciously

Séance groaned. Everyone except Number Five— who wasn’t there for the last two decades— hauled in a state of annoyance. Rumor shook his head, this again?

“The what?” Number Five asked.

“When we last fought Dr Nicholas Bourbaki he told us the next time we reform the Terminants will activate…”

Ryan looked down at the child.

“Which means Tyler is in the City”

Everyone headed back to the Mansion. One of the perks of being Sir Hargreeves’s children is the access to the televator— a teleporting elevator. They all thought of it the second they realized one of them is astray.

But Tyler isn’t the only prodigal sibling.

“Moon–” Pogo called out, noting (Y/n)’s lack of presence “The Kraken!”

“Let her get killed, cause according to the terminants…

We’re a team again”

Tyler sat in a taxi cab after rejecting an offer to hypothetically— destroy massive civilization by playing his piano, scavenging his keyboard bag for his pills. After all, how could his “adequate” piano skills help an apocalypse inducing orchestra?

He had enough. He thought being the lamest sibling in the Umbrella Academy will be the last line in his autobiography but it wasn’t. He also happened to cause another villain outbreak.

He can barely see the man in the driver seat, but if it weren’t hallucination then he paid a shadow.

He hoped the shadow, unicorn– whatever the hell is behind the wheel would drive faster so he could warn his family.

“Are you alright man? Y'know you look like—” The driver was cut off when a loud bang erupted.

“The carnival— It’s on fire!”

Tyler looked at the window. The carnival was indeed crackling in flames. He humphed. The rollercoaster looked way cooler morphing ashes.

“I bet it’s my family” He poured pills down his palm “change of plans”

“Drive me there” He glanced back at the amusement park. There are two groups of enemies on the loose.

But he prayed more that one of his siblings in particular will forgive him for what he had done in the past.

“And drive faster”

The Kraken flung another knife at the cloaked robot. The children on the ride’s boat ride hugged each other, chanting their quote on quote last words. Fuck them for thinking anyone else except Moon can’t save them.

God, (Y/n) hated these Niners. Next time Dr Nicholas design something it better look cooler and not look like wannabe cults. Oh wait— He’s dead! She forgot.

(Y/n) punched one down and roundhouse kicked the other. And as the others made their way another blade passed through their brains, splattering oil everywhere.

If only Number Five finished his check-up with Pogo earlier then he might’ve enjoyed fighting alongside her. They both missed each other’s company, most especially Five.

The woman was bleeding from her appendix down her right thigh— yet she determined the appropriate time vocalize they owe her a costume.

While she evacuated the three ungrateful souls, Tyler made his way south the carousel.

As he ran closer, the picture of Moon from afar about to punch a self-destructive robot went clearer.

“My God” He sprinted toward about to warn him “MOON!!”

Behind a trashcan ejected another enemy pointing a ray gun

“PATIENCE IS VIRTUE_! TARGET 00.07 ACQUIRED_!”

Tyler looked back, and saw approximately ten missiles ahead.

Ryan barely heard his scream however, someone else did.

“DAMNIT!”

(Y/n) pushed him down, with her on top. Her face contorted beyond pissed. They laid at the ground, both in pain. Tyler thanked God he stayed alive— but when he saw the look on the her face, he found out the half of the upcoming verbal abuse.

“What the hell are you doing here!” She screamed right at his face “You think you can show your face after all these years?!”

Tyler frowned.

“I… I wanted to help! There’s something I need to tell you, (Y/n)!”

Her chest tightened. It’s been a while since someone called her by her name.(Y/n) scoffed and laughed, repressing the warm feeling pooling inside her with the acidic truth.

“You left.”

He left when (Y/n) needed her the most. Being a teenager in Hargreeves’s manor was the saddest you could be. She shared chunks of her dreams with him— and he left to some pretentious academy because the person she hated the most told him so.

Another robot went boom after Ryan smashed it. Through the smoke he saw the illusion of The Pianist and Kraken together. (Y/n) covered him from Moon’s sight. She’d rather let him leave.

“The only thing you’re helping us is getting killed, and there’s nothing else I want to hear from you”

She towered above him.

“I… used to think I have a brother” At that time, Tyler felt tears roll against his warm cheeks. He avoided her gaze, but doing so does not make the situation easier, just made him seem more in denial.

“But I’ve got nobody”

That had to be the worst thing he heard all day. Much, much worse than hearing a proposal about universal destruction.

“Get lost” (Y/n) commanded.

He did, he scampered as fast as he could. She watch him crawl and trip out of her sight. She thought she might be masochistic for liking the sight of people leaving her… again… and again…

“Kraken” Ryan called out. And with that, (Y/n) Hargreeves transformed back to just Kraken.

“Thanks” She pertained to the broken robot that nearly killed her. Cause there’s no way she’s talking about it.

“Was that Tyler?” Pete asked. Frank wanted to ask the same question but he has to excuse his language to the children around him.

“Just a citizen” She gently grabbed one of the rescued injuired girls to the ambulance.

“No one SPECIAL”

———

a/n: I’ve been thinking about making this as a book, though I’m not sure everyone can understand my writing haha.

anyways, for the people who read the comics or at least saw the trailer: Who’s your favorite hero and enemy? 

Cause mine is the 100% best assassin Five, Klaus and Vanya (can’t choose, I just don’t like Luther, but Diego and Allison is pretty decent). Tho when it comes to enemies the best imo is Hazel and Cha Cha.

(… cause who needs drugs when you have cookies and guns?)

#the umbrella academy #gerard way x reader #tyler joseph x reader #tyler joseph #gerard way #imagines #brendon urie #ryan ross #frank iero #pete wentz #fall out boy #fob #mcr #tøp #twenty one pilots #josh dun #my chemical romance

[castroblogsblog-blog]

CONTACT

POEMS

Bago Aplaya

By Macario Tiu

Picture

Hinay ang tapya sa balod

Ug nagsugod na ang taob.

Namasbas ang pari sa bangkang de motor,

Ug lakip tang nawiskan sa bendita.

Uban sa mga gagmayng mananagat nga nanag-alirong.

Nalipay ako sa ilang kalipay

Nga nakaangkog himan sa panagat:

Mao kana ang atong gisaulog.

Apan hinay ang tapya sa balod

Ug nagsugod na ang taob.

Ug sama sa karaang magbabalak,

Akong nabati ang walay kataposang kasubo

Nga dala sa balod.

Apan dili tungod sa pangagho sa katawhan

Kondili sa akong kaugalingong kahimtang.

Ugma, mobiya ka na sa hangtod

Samtang hinay ang balod

Ug magsugod na ang taob.( Tropangjacque!)

Analysis of the Text

The poem itself stated and described the life of a fisherman. Even though fisherman is an ordinary job, they are still thankful. They embraced and contented in what they have. Being a fisherman is also one of the dangerous jobs. Specially when we have a bad weather the storms and big crashes of waves makes them struggle more, but they keep on going, cause they believe God is there whose leading them with a light in a pathway, who are also helping and watching them, doing their jobs just to catch fish so that they might help and support their families and do their full responsibilities to other people to earn small capitals.

Elements

Line: 18 lines

Stanza: 4 stanza

Figure of speech: Personification, metaphor because the character feel the misery life.

Character: Persona

Setting: in Davao City

Imagery: the character of the poem she/he feel the emotional,like sadness.

Theme: I learned a lot from this poem because it tells that what ever happened to our life we should be happy on it and forgot the past and moving on in the future.

Symbolism: Namasbas ang pari sa bagkang de motor,ug lakip Tang nawiskan sa bendita, it tells that the priest blessed the boat and the owner.

EUNIROSE P. CASTRO

Taphag

By: Teresa may Mundiz

Nong Porferio prepares the rice, eggs, and a roll of native cigarette for that day’s ritual. A son of a neighbor has had a fever for more than a week, and no medicine could seem to subside the illness. According to Anok, his grandson, they were just playing and shouting in the forest a fortnight ago. So Nong Porferio asked for Anok to help him do the taphag. It is also high time that his grandson learn their tribe’s ritual and panawagtawag.

“’Nok,” called out Nong Porferio, “can you please come out of the hut and help me here?”

Anok, in his brightly colored shirt and faded shorts, comes out of the hut. The boy lives with his grandfather because his school is just a kilometer away from his grandfather’s house. Both Anok and Nong Porferio have sunkissed skin, unkempt hair, lithe bodies, and honest faces. They are both Mandaya Kamayo living in Barangay Borboanan.

“Help me prepare the table for the taphag,” ordered Nong Porferio to the quizzical-faced Anok.

“Taphag-what?”

“Taphag is what we call our tribe’s ritual. During taphag, we prepare the table for our offerings to the spirits.”

“Are those rice and eggs for the spirits?” responded Anok almost with disbelief and excitement. He knows he is a Mandaya Kamayo, but he has not known about rituals or offerings all his 12-year-old life.

“Yes,” curtly replied Nong Porferio. “We have to do this because your friend has not been healed of his fever.”

Nong Porferio sets the buyo into the wooden mortar. He has to have his mama ready as well.

Anok, sensing the urgency of the taphag, quickly grabs on the bolo, goes at the back of the hut to get fresh banana leaves he will set on the table, then returns to where his grandfather is seen pounding the buyo for his mama.

“Tang, what else do we include in the taphag?” asked Anok. Indeed, he remembers another young boy whom he was playing weeks ago. He has not seen him after that, and he has heard about his fever. There was another neighbor who related on how this young boy’s stomach has swollen, too. “Tang?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, dong,” muttered Nong Porferio. “Please take out the chicken in the pot, and place it on the ritual table. Do not even try to put salt into it.”

“Why?”

“You know, the spirits…” jokingly responded the old man. “There has to be sweets like candies on the table, then, some rhum. But, again, no salt.”

Anok balances the pale chicken on the sartin plate as he walks towards the bamboo table filling up the gifts for the taphag. He sees his grandfather’s favorite rhum, still unopened, the eggs whose raw, hardened shell has the same color as the unsalted chicken, and a lot of candies. He wants one, but he has seen how Nong Porferio is also eyeing him. His eyes telling him, Do not steal from the spirits. Embarassed, Anok walks away from the table.

“They will be here in a minute,” remarked Nong Porferio.

“Nong!” came a shout from the distance. There are also other voices, leaves ruffling. They have visitors.

“Uy! come here,” ushered the old man. “Come near here in the table. I am almost done.”

Along with the entourage is the sick boy. He looks really frail, and his eyes have dark circles under them. His mother has been crying. “Please heal him, Tang.”

“We have to make peace, and ask the spirit to heal him,” came the reply.

Then, changing his usual clothes with a vest, and a piece of undergarment, both grandfather and Anok gather up the kamanyan leaves to build a fire. Anok fans the smoke as it rises up on air. Chewing on his mama, Nong Porferio lifts one by one the items on the table. He then chants a prayer, and moves toward the sick boy.

The smoke continues to rise, along with the taphag. Anok looks at his grandfather with pride and awe. He has not seen him in trance. Nong Porferio, in his old age, still moves lightly, circling the sick boy. And he guides the boy to move with him.

Anok feels the wind blowing, rustling the leaves of the trees around them. He sees the boy kneeling, his grandfather still in trance. Then, silence falls.

“Nay,” a weak voice came. It is the sick boy. His face no longer pale. A little smile forms his mouth.

“The spirits heal!”

“The spirits forgive!”

When everyone of the family gathers around the boy, Anok, also in trance, walks toward his grandfather. Nong Porferio is slumped, his head bowed down. He has fallen asleep after the taphag.

Analysis:

The story about it tells the importance of tradition which is ritual's. Our older relative are practicing the ritual's even though in the present they believe that through ritual's it can heal any diseases.

Element:

Character: Nong porferio,anok,the who has a sick which fever, neighbor.

Setting: Borboanan

Lines: 96 lines

Stanza: 17

Figure of speech: metaphor, Personification,

Symbolism: chicken it's symbolize the offering to the spirit who heal the diseases that they believe.

Imagery: the character in the story is full of Hope.

JOTHAM C. SEREÑO.

Friendship

It is cosmic. But why do we try

reducing it precisely to habits?

Perhaps it sleeps, too, and wakes

to a new day like we do.

It sits momentarily, reviews a list of needs

and few serviceable tasks in a day.

Perhaps it looks for a quick inspiration, too.

A good call, or a response to a message

which has not been read for a couple of hours.

Neither circumstances nor excuses will ever

lose its value. After conflicts and neglects,

it restores and seeks itself again.

Perhaps it finds a new space

sometimes: once in a week, a month or two.

How long can it travel alone? It learns

where it stumbles upon itself.

It does not know it loves

because sometimes it reads too much.

It raises a mirror to itself and gazes

long at what it only wants to see,

and throws a question it cannot even answer.

Only when it demands, it delivers

a disappointed look.

It also hates and does not accept,

even itself. When it is in pain, it goes back

to where it once found itself easy.

It strangles with both hands but stops

to a sight of love, open as widening palms.

Then it goes home, empties out its pockets

full of ever-hefty disquiet.

Later, before it rests, it remembers

and holds a new precious thought.

Only it knows how it always wishes itself best.

Bonsai

By Edith Tiempo

All that I love

I fold over once

And once again

And keep in a box

Or a slit in a hollow post

Or in my shoe

All that I love?

Why, yes but for the moment-

And for all time, both.

Something that folds and keeps easy,

Son’s note, or Dad’s one gaudy tie,

A roto picture of a young queen

A blue Indian shawl, even

A money bill.

It’s utter sublimation,

A feat, this heart’s control

Moment to moment

To scale all love down

To a cupped hand’s size.

Till seashells are broken pieces

From God’s own bright teeth,

All life and love are real

Things you can run and

Breathless hand over

To the merest child

Analysis:

The poem tell us that all things we hold dear may give us happiness and security but the happiness and security they offer are but temporal yet life on earth is so short.

Element:

Character:

Setting:

Line: 25 lines

Stanza: 4 stanza

Figure of speech: metaphor, Personification, oxymoron.

Symbolism:

Imagery: the poem titled bonsai it tells a lot about love and because of love they believe that everything they face it can easy solve because they are helping to each other and they are hopeful to conquer it.

NOEL MAR D. JAMISON

Alkansya

Fiction by Teresa May Mundiz | July 26, 2015

Ang akong lola niuli guikan sa Sugbu dala uban niya ang imahe sa Sto. Niño ug gamay nga tigumanan sa sinsilyo may inukit nga imahe ni Buda. Matag adlaw ginsudlan niya ug sinsilyo ang gamay nga Buda ug nagaugbok ug kandila sa Niño tapos niya mangaliya. Ug kada adlaw siya nagalingkod sa may bintana, sa iyang tuyatuya nga lingkoranan, nag-ihap sa mga sakyanan nanglabay sa abogon nga dalan sa among barangay.

Usa ka bulan nilabay, ang akong lola nagahimo niini sa walay paglat-ang ug adlawpagsulod piso sa gamayng Buda, paghalad kandila ug pag-ampo, unya paglingkod sa may bintana aron pag-ihap sa nanglabayng mga sakyanan.

Ug usa niana ka adlaw nga nabatian ko siya nga nag-ampo ug akong naamgohan: ang akong lola nag-ihap sa mga adlaw nga ang akong amahan makauli sa among pinuy-anan guikan sa trabaho sa pagmina.

Analysis:

The character of the story is she/he are hopeful that someday her son will coming home soon by God's grace.

Element:

Character: grandmother,grandson,son.

Setting: caraga

Line: 21 lines

Stanza: 3 stanza

Figure of speech: Personification, metaphor.

Imagery: the story tells that the character in the story is very hopeful that someday her son will coming home soon.

Symbolism: the sto. Niño it symbolize that the character is believing in God's mercies.

ARJEL SAMPAYAN

Bonsai

By Edith Tiempo

All that I love

I fold over once

And once again

And keep in a box

Or a slit in a hollow post

Or in my shoe

All that I love?

Why, yes but for the moment-

And for all time, both.

Something that folds and keeps easy,

Son’s note, or Dad’s one gaudy tie,

A roto picture of a young queen

A blue Indian shawl, even

A money bill.

It’s utter sublimation,

A feat, this heart’s control

Moment to moment

To scale all love down

To a cupped hand’s size.

Till seashells are broken pieces

From God’s own bright teeth,

All life and love are real

Things you can run and

Breathless hand over

To the merest child.

[anagentinwriting]

To Catch a Thief - Part 10

Summary: Being an FBI field agent was your dream job but having been stuck behind a desk for most of your career you’ve almost given up. Fortunately, a series of robberies with minimal evidence forces you to assist a team in the field to help solve the case. But when the only thing left behind is a series of song lyrics, will you be able to find the perp? Or will the number of obstacles and lack of evidence keep you from solving the case?

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 3482

Warnings: Language

To Catch a Thief Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Gamora sat beside you in the interrogation room helping Peter finish the last few touches of his arrangement, which guaranteed his mother safety and him being pardoned for any crimes he committed.  Yondu thought it was best to give Peter something in this deal since he was the only one coming forward with information. With one last signature from him, Gamora left the room.

On the surface, Peter appeared calm and relaxed but underneath he had to be a little worried. He reached for the styrofoam cup filled with coffee and took a sip as you begin your questioning. “Now that everything's squared away, I want to know how you managed to pass the polygraph test even though you were guilty.”

“Out of everything that’s what you want to know?” The corner of his mouth turned up not being able to hide his amusement.

“To start, call me intrigued. Mantis is one of the best polygraphers in the country and she wants to know how you pulled it off.” You crossed your arms across your chest and leaned back in your chair.

“The short answer, I got good at believing my own lies.”

“That’s it?” A smirk spread across Peters' lips and he nodded. You didn’t believe him but decided to let it slide for now. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?” You leaned forward grabbing your favorite black pen and tilted the yellow notepad ready to write down any important details.

“Before I begin, I should tell you about my father J’son Quill. He was the infamous Ego.” Peter paused, expecting a reaction out of you but you gave him nothing. “He was apart of Thanos’ crew along with The Collector, but back then he went by Taneleer Tivan. Thanos taught my father and Taneleer everything they needed to know about thieving, and they became unstoppable. After Thanos went into retirement, Taneleer formed his own gang called The Collector and his Trinkets.”

“Did Ego help form this crew?”

“No, my dad didn’t like having big responsibilities, which included me,” Peter breathed. “He only started to come into the picture around the time I turned eight, but when he came to visit it wasn’t your usually father-son bonding time. We didn’t play catch or hit a ball around, instead, he trained me how to be the perfect thief. I was basically my father's protege.”

“What did your mother think of this?”

“She had no idea it was going on. My dad wanted me to keep it a secret because he wanted it to be a surprise for her, so I kept my mouth shut. But, she found out and man was she pissed,” Peter explained, his eyes growing big at the memory. “My mom told him to stop because she didn’t want me to be part of that life. He promised he would, but he was never good at following through with his promises.”

“How long would you say he trained you for? Did he take you on any jobs with him?”

Peter stayed quiet for a moment thinking it over. “I would say about two years. As for the jobs, my dad kept them small. He’d take me to gas stations or mechanic shops, where there was an unsupervised register. Sometimes we would walk down a street or in a park, and he taught me how to pickpocket,” he mentioned, scratching the scruff on his face.  “I guess, there’s only one big job I helped him with. He showed up at my school out of the blue after being gone for about a month. He told me I was ready for the big leagues. It was exciting, but I was a stupid little kid willing to do anything to get my father’s attention.”

“What was the job?”

“I’ll get there. Anyways, my dad took me to this abandoned warehouse outside the city. I didn’t know anything about the plan, but my father gave me an earpiece and ordered me to crawl through the ventilation system.  He told me what way to go until I reached a small office. I looked behind one of the paintings, and that’s when I found the safe.  My dad read me the code while I punched it in and it popped open.  I grabbed the box inside, but before I could get away the lights turned on. Turns out the warehouse we were robbing belonged to The Collector.”

“What was in the box?”

“Patience is key.” Peter tapped to his forehead and pointed at you. “Turns out that month my dad was gone he was working a job in London. This job was important to The Collector, so it was important to him.  Have you ever heard the name Erik Selvig?” You nodded, remembering the name on Gamora’s necklace owners list.  “Erik owned the Aether Infinity Stone necklace until my dad stole it, which put this all in motion.” Peter twirled his finger in the air.

“Wait, The Collector already had one before all this started? That would mean he only needs one more necklace to find,” you exclaimed as the realization dawned on you. You remembered someone mentioning it the night you followed Peter to the warehouse, but it must’ve slipped your mind. “Were you and Ego trying to steal the red Infinity Stone necklace back from him?”

“Yes and yes,” Peter replied.  “Ego promised Taneleer he’d steal all the Infinity Stone necklaces for him. Shortly after he stole the necklace from Selvig, my dad decided to learn more about them. He came to realize how valuable they were so he wanted to steal them all for himself. He decided to start with the red stone which is where I came in.” Peter hesitated for a moment before he went on. “At the warehouse that night, I watched The Collector murder my father for his betrayal.”

Your eyes darted to his, but his eyes remained focused on the styrofoam cup in his hands. Peter saw everything. He watched his father die right in front of him. You couldn’t even imagine seeing the last look on your parents face before they died, but Peter did. “I’m sorry, Peter.”

He didn’t answer, but his eyes flashed up to yours for a quick second. “I didn’t cry when it happened. Should I have cried for him, since he was my father? Does that make me a terrible person?" Peter knitted his brows together forming a crease between them. “I could've been in shock and wasn’t comprehending it, or did I finally realized he never cared about me at all? He was just using me because I was a small kid that could fit into places adults couldn’t,” Peter confessed, pressing his lips together in a hard line.

You didn’t move. You couldn’t take your eyes off him. How did you not realize this before? You and Peter were in the same boat. Both of us were used and manipulated by someone we cared about. We were the pawns in other people’s schemes, but if he knew what it felt like to be used why’d he do it to you?

“No it doesn’t,” you whispered, and his eyes snapped up to you. You wanted to keep your emotions out of this, but seeing Peter in this valuable state was painful to watch. He’s always so charismatic and candid, but this was a side of him you’ve never seen before. “Not crying over your father, doesn’t make you a bad person. Yeah, he might’ve been your father, but that doesn’t make him your dad.” He nodded, and you watched his whole body relax as he let out a deep breath.

You didn’t want to continue questioning him. You wanted this to be over, but the few little tidbits about daddy issues, thief training, and The Collector wouldn’t be enough, so you had to keep digging. “Did anything happen after The Collector killed Ego? Did you talk to the police about what happened?”

“I don’t remember much. It all blurred together through the years,” Peter answered, rubbing his head. “The one thing I do remember was Yondu putting me into his squad car and bringing me to the station. He tried to get me to talk, but I wasn’t saying anything. Instead of pressuring me, he took me to his office, turned on the radio, and handed me some crayons and paper. He didn’t say anything he just sat with me. To this day, I still don’t know how the old man got me talking, but I told him everything.”

“Do you know how the Collector got away with it? I mean, how is he still walking free if you explained everything to the police?” You questioned with your eyebrows drawing together.

“The Collectors cousin, Carlo, admitted to it. He told the police he couldn’t live with the guilt. He ended up telling them exactly what happened, but the knife was in his hand instead of The Collectors. They believed him and ignored everything I said except for Yondu.  They didn’t look into it any further so case closed.” Peter gave a half shrug, shaking his head.

Carlo gave up his life to protect a guilty man even though Peter told Yondu the real story. They should’ve examined the evidence further and viewed this case from all points of view. This was lazy police work. “What happened after that night?”

“My mom and I moved around a lot never staying in one place for long. She got a job as a traveling nurse, so it helped keep us off The Collectors radar. Her worst nightmare was not being able to protect me from him.” He shifted in his sit folding his hands together in his lap. “About two years later, my mom got diagnosed with brain cancer. She started treatment, which forced us to move back to New York. When the treatment hit her hard, she couldn’t work anymore, so I stole to make ends meet. I knew it was wrong, so I left IOU’s behind signed by Star-Lord. Whenever I got money, I sent what I owed plus interest because they kept me from starving.”

“Did your mom find out about this?”

“No, but if she did she never said anything. I wanted her to focus on getting better and not be worrying about me. The day she went into remission was a relief, but this brings us back to the present, about 17 years later, and her cancer is back,” he sighed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“About four in a half months ago, The Collector finally caught up with us, and he took my mom hostage.” Your jaw dropped at his confession. “He promised me my mother would get the best treatment available, if and only if, I fulfill my father's unfinished promise.  He wanted me to pick up where Ego left off, and if I didn’t, he was going to kill my mother. I wasn't going to let that happen,” Peter admitted with his eyes boring into yours.

Peter was telling the truth, he wasn't in this for the money or the glory. He was in it for the sole reason to protect his mother as she did for him all those years ago. Everything finally connected into place. Peter left these lyrics behind to share his side of the story.  

Like in the lyrics, Peter had a rough upbringing, but he pushed through hoping things would get better. When they did, he accepted his past and was finally excited about his future. The last lyrics he left put everything into perspective. Peter was on the run from the police as well as The Collector.  Peter knew he would get caught at some point, but he wanted to make clear his mother was innocent. He may be guilty of committing these robberies, but it all goes back to Ego and what he made Peter into.

“Shit! I don’t... I had no idea.” You almost reached out to grab his hand, but you stopped yourself. He hurt you, but you still found yourself caring about him. Your emotions were all over the place, but you needed to buckle down and keep this professional. “We’ll do whatever it takes to get your mom back, and I promise….we promise we will keep her safe once this is all over.”

“Thank you,” Peter spoke up. “I know you didn’t see everything.” You tilt your head confused to what he was referring to. “Last night. After I handed over the necklace, I got to see my mom for a few minutes. If you saw her, you would’ve learned the truth.” Your eyes dart down to your notepad feeling a little guilty about this whole mess. “Hey, it's okay. I should’ve come clean the first time I came in it’s.....it’s my fault.”

You nodded, he was right. If he came clean earlier things could’ve turned out differently between the two of you, but it was too late for what ifs. You found out the truth in a bad way and it will take you some time to move on. The room remained quiet for a few more minutes before you continued. “We need to know more to help you.”

“What else do you need? I’m an open book ready to confess all the spoilers.” His eyes connected with yours. He seemed ready to give up everything if he had to.

“We need to know who was all involved in these crimes. More specifically who helped you?”

“There are four guys in charge of me. Ronan, the Collectors right-hand man, makes sure I show up to each thief and go thru with it.  Korath is the tech guy.  He’s super smart with technology, and I swear, it’s almost like half his brain is a machine with how fast he works. He was able to fiddle with the camera feeds to make sure I got in and out undetected. And to top it all off, he purposely messes up my code name, so that hurts.” Peter pressed his lips together shaking his head.

“Umm....theirs Retch but I don’t know what he does besides get bossed around by the others. The last guy is Taserface,” he laughed. “What kind of name is that? How he thought  that was a kickass name is beyond me?” You let out a quiet chuckle with him. “I think he may be extra muscle because he isn’t the brightest character. I mean, how could you be with a name like Taserface,” he chuckled again, forcing you to crack a small smile.

“How did you pull off each thief?” You clicked your pen, ready to take notes as you waited for him to answer.

“I was in Las Vegas for a Bachelor Party, that wasn’t a lie. The other obvious reason was to steal the necklace. I did a few days of recon myself before the heist because this was my first job with these idiots, and I didn’t want to get caught for something they missed. The day of Retch got me the same uniform as the guard, so all I had to do was wear the uniform, knock out the dude, take the keys, unlock the case, grab the necklace, and replace it with the hologram replica the Trinkets created. All while hiding my face from the many many cameras in that casino.

“The theft at Dr. Strange’s resistance was the most challenging because I didn’t get to recon it myself.  I had to trust the Trinkets, which is tough to do. Korath hacked into the cameras and alarm systems to turn them off, so all I had to do was crack the safe and get out of there.”

“How would you explain the alibi you gave us?” You asked, narrowing eyes because you heard him in his room that night. How could he be in two places at once?

“Oh, thattt--” he dragged out, flashing you a coy smile “--that was a recording!”

“You recorded yourself having sex.” Your face contorted in both shock and disgust.

“Not my proudest moment, I know--” he held up his hands “--but I had the lady’s consent. It’s not like I did it in secret.”

“Like that makes it any better.” You shake your head at his crazy antics.  “So, then when I was knocking on the door you were--”

“Crawling in through the window,” he answered before you could finish.

“That explains your delayed response. How about the necklace in Norway? I know you scoped it out a few weeks prior to you stealing it.”

“Yes, I went two times. I wanted to prepare for the worst case scenario if something went wrong. Ronan did most of the work on this one, but like I said I trust myself more than I trust the Trinkets. The day of Korath played the same video feed on loop for the security cameras and turned off the sensors in the case. I picked the lock then replaced the real necklace with the hologram replica. It was another easy in easy out.”

“Your alibi here was the Tales from the Galaxy Conference you attended in Florida. How do you explain being in the pictures there when you were actually in Norway?”

“What can I say?” He leaned back in his chair putting his hands behind his head. “When The Collector wants something, he will pull all the strings to make sure it happens. With this heist, his techs hacked the site and photoshopped me into the pictures. I wanted to make sure I was there for one whole day so I could talk to people attending the conference, too. This way if you questioned any of them, they could confirm I was there. As for the flights, I flew in and out of Florida, but my trips to Norway were on The Collectors private jet.”

“Of course they were.” You jotted down some notes before he started the story with the last necklace. He explained how it was like the Vegas heist, but it ended up going array in the end. It didn’t matter because The Collector and his Trinkets were able to pull through and have an answer for everything.

“Do you know how they pulled off the camera footage at the pharmacy because it was time-stamped at the time the necklace was stolen?” You asked, tapping your pen on the table.

“The Trinkets must’ve gotten their hands on it and worked their magic.” He wiggled his fingers out in front of him like he was performing a magic trick.

“What’s weird is no one came forward witnessing you at the museum? Like you said you ran into a kid named Ned Leeds, but he never came forward.”

"Best guess, the Trinkets either threaten him, offered him payment, or killed him. It's their tactic, preferably in that order. They do whatever they want without having to suffer any consequences. I've tried to stop it, but it doesn’t do any good," he explained. He was being honest, and you appreciated his cooperation.

“How were you able to find all these necklaces so fast? We had a hard enough time tracking down one.”

“The Collector and his trinkets found them over the course of 20 years. After my dad died, they scoured the Earth searching for necklaces until they found them.”

“Why didn’t The Collector start stealing the necklaces himself? If he knew where they were, why wait?”

“He tried to, but he failed. In all honesty, The Collector’s a terrible thief, and when he grew tired of failing, he decided to blackmail people into doing his deeds for him. He extorted a few fellas to try and steal them, but they failed, too, except for me of course.”

“How come no one has ever heard of his failures?”

“Nobody wants to admit they own an Infinity Stone necklace.” You nodded at his words, remembering Gamora saying the same thing once before.

“But, why go through all this hassle with making up your alibi if he only has one left to steal?”

“Because sweetheart, I’m the best in the business,” he winked at you as a small grin spread across his lips.

“Do you know where the last necklace is? What is it, the orange Soul Stone necklace?”

“No one knows not even The Collector. The books say Valkyrie was the last one to see it, but I don't think anyone has ever found the hidden world she speaks about. For all I know, it’s a myth, and the stories I've read in these books aren’t even true.”

“Okay. One more question, why leave the lyrics behind?”

“As an apology, mostly. I hoped at least one agent on this case would see past the lyrics, and understand I was doing this for a different reason. I’m lucky because I think one of you got my message,” Peter answered with his eyes on you.

AN: Oh snap! Sorry if your head hurts right now. I know this was a lot of information to process since I did get a little carried away....haha!! What did you think of his motive? Were any of you right? Do you think Peter came in to confess on his own free will, or do you think The Collector put him up to it? Anywho, thanks for reading! 

#peter quill x reader #peter quill #peter quill reader insert #peter quill au #peter quill image #star-lord x reader #star-lord au #star-lord #guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy vol 2 #marvel #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #gotg #chris pratt #to catch a thief

[thawingthoughts]

To All The Boys I’m Tired of Loving...

Does this shit get any easier?

Dear Tumblr, it’s me, Becca.

It’s been a while.

I’ve been hand journaling lately, but I feel like I have too many thoughts and emotions to be limited to the speed of my carpal tunnel. 

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I broke up with the person I thought was supposed to be the love of my life in July last year. It fucking sucked, but it was the best decision I’ve ever made without question. The life I lived in those months after was more life than I had lived in my 23 years prior. I went to a foreign country, I moved, I made better friends, lost bad ones, made moves in my career and, well, fell in love again?

Which brings me to today, another fucking shitty day.

Love doesn’t suck, but navigating relationships in your 20s does. 

Today I’ve spent the day crying my eyes out over a guy who technically was never my boyfriend. I genuinely never thought that would be me. Who the fuck am I right now? 

Anyway, let’s continue. 

In August 2018 I met a boy (because let’s face it if they’re under 30 they’re not a man) who wrecked my heart. Which, like I said who the fuck am I to let that happen?

He was too good to be true, and sure enough, he was. 

In our Pete Davidson / Ariana Grande pace of a relationship, we shared a lot of life, a lot of sex, and I think more love than either of us care to admit. Much like the famous duo though, I think we were both in a lovesick rebound. Saying that doesn’t discount the validity in the emotions of the relationship, but it does give justification for its exhilarating but devasting end.

Like a deadly car crash from street racing, things went from 100 to zero, quick.

I think at the end of it though, I put him on an unwarranted pedestal because of the trauma he experienced in his life. And that’s not fair to me. 

Yes, in that relationship I had a lot of guards up. I pursued something much bigger than I had ever anticipated. I fell harder than I thought I could fall, and I was so afraid of those emotions and if they were real. 

I let a man say all the things I wanted and needed to hear. Treated me like a fucking queen in a way I had never experienced before. Listened like no one I had ever met. stupidly handsome, passionate, funny, incredible in bed...the list can go on. 

But also, let’s call the bullshit where we can now. Rose-colored glasses off. 

He’s got demons I can’t help, especially if he has no desire to help himself. His personality tends to bleed politician in order to skate around truly expressing himself. He scapegoat’s bad communication with vague statements. He’s extremely intentional in the moment but has poor follow through. Literally runs away from a confrontational situation. 

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I remember after that first date though, that I thought I had met my match. And I was fucking terrified. Never in my life had I been on such an incredible first date. And no, that’s not to say that it was like a rom-com with these insane bells and whistles, but there was a chemistry between us like I had never felt before. 

We met like any millennial in 2018, on a dating app. I had zero expectations. His profile had no info and he was roughly my age, so the fact that I had swiped right...surprised I did honestly. 

I remember I half-ass dressed up for this date, almost canceling last minute until I realized the restaurant was right around the corner from my office. 

I enter the restaurant, late, huffing and puffing and hot in the August heat (lol it’s Portland so it’s probably only 80 something degrees). I see him there and he’s in this wonderful suit and I feel like a hot mess, quite literally. We were probably there for three hours? We hit every topic that makes me wet: feminism, how Portland is so white, our shared Latinx experiences, liberal politics, I don’t even remember what else. I just remember calling my mom on my way home saying I’m fucked. Saying why the hell did God put this person in my life at this moment when I made such a fucking loud declaration to the universe that I was not ready. 

He’s the only person I ever asked out on a second date. And that date was just as great as the first. We got dessert at my favorite place in town late at night after an extremely tough day at work. 

Next his ass helped me move apartments.

Then the following week we ended up at the movies watching such a heavy movie, both needing a drink afterward. Next thing I know it’s four in the morning and we’re parked in his car outside of the movie theater. We’ve already made a seven-eleven run for gum and water.

I, being the confrontational person I am, asked him what’s his deal. In my head how does a guy pursue a woman like this without wanting to seriously date? Because, per my mantra earlier, I was not trying to date. 

He told me his story, and it eerily mirrored mine. He and his partner of three years broke up that summer because of cheating. He was trying to get back in the game. He wasn’t looking for anything serious, but having a hard time navigating the app scene. He said a lot of girls said they felt like he wanted something serious because he was so nice, but that wasn’t the case. 

I, of course, felt instant relief and also that there was a storm destined for our future. 

We were in the same boat, hurray, but knowing the person I was and who I was actively trying so hard not to be, I was going to fall. Fucking hard.

And fucking hard I fell. 

We kissed that night. It was hands down one of the, if not the, best kiss of my life. I don’t know if it was the build-up at the time, my constant experience with men who suck at kissing, or my current raw emotions, but as of right now he can keep that title. 

The following night I ask him out to dinner and took him home. We hooked up and I was blown away. So of course, like any person who has been deprived of good sex for a long time, had him over for too many late nights during the work week. 

Were either of us getting quality sleep? No. Was it the most fun I had in a long time? Absolutely. 

Then all of a sudden we were spending a lot of time together. More than just late nights, more than just evening dates. We were sharing our work days and our work lives with one another. We’d sometimes get lunch together. He was taking me to events. I met his friends. He slept over 3-4 nights a week. We shared deep stuff going on in our lives.

That shit scared me. A lot. 

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I’d been a serial monogamous. Been in three three-year relationships. All so different from one another, but all-in-all, bad. None of them ended well. I was cheated on in every single one. 

The first one I was so god damn young that I can’t fault either of us at that time anymore. We’ve learned and grown and after probably more years than I’m proud of, I forgave him.

The second was a rebound from the first; it just happened to last three whole years. We were co-dependent in a way that was toxic for both of us, but we were just college kids who hadn’t ever been in truly healthy relationships before then. I don’t know if forgiveness is the right word in this one, but I’ve learned to let go of my baggage from it.

The third one...was a nightmare. It wasn’t at first and we had two beautiful years, but that last year was brutal. He lied to me. He cheated on me. He called me a cunt. He gaslit me. He harmed my growth when I became a more independent person...the list can go on. 

The point is, I hadn’t been lucky in love yet. I had a pattern of loving hard and not receiving that equal love back. Additionally, I hadn’t truly ever been my own person yet. Moving to Portland was my first big step into becoming my own person, and breaking up with ex #3 was my second. So unfolding myself to this new person, and potentially building a life with him in this city that I had built a life for myself, fucking terrified me. 

Because of all that, I was selfish. Selfish that was not in any way fair to him. I loved the way he made me feel, the way he treated me, the sex, etc., that I refused to address the relationship that was building between us. I didn’t want to lose what we had, but I was also too afraid to let him into a bigger part of my life and my plans. 

Where I was at in my process at that time was too focused on what if it doesn’t go according to plan? What if he breaks my heart? What happens when I get a job outside of Portland? 

I set that stage of what our relationship was because I wanted to control as much as I could of what was going to happen to me. I wanted to be as calculated as possible in order to not fall victim to my past mistakes. 

By the time I had decided to fully open up though, to be as vulnerable as he’d been with me, it was too late. 

Things had changed and I was too busy worrying about me to fully see that. 

I will take ownership of my selfishness in the situation. I will take ownership in my over communication but not the clearest communication. I will take ownership of the fact that I was not in the right place for something that could’ve been so beautiful. 

BUT - all that being said, there’s some ownership I wish he’d take. Like for letting me walk all over him like that. For not being more clear on his wants and needs. For not following through on his words and apologies. For not acknowledging that maybe he was just as not ready for this as I was. And lastly, for not letting me go when he should’ve. 

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For almost two whole months we played games. And I don’t play games. 

He gave me “what, do we go back to being strangers?” and “You’re such an important part of my life and I’m not ready to lose you.” 

At first, yes I said maybe we shouldn’t talk. A week later I changed my mind on that, and the second I did I let him know. After that, I tried to be as accommodating to his state of mind, his career, and his bandwidth. I was honestly fine because at that point I had accepted where he was and where I was, and I was willing to see what our next check-in would bring. 

When I was no longer fine was when that check-in came up and he blew me off. For the first time if felt like his actions and his words didn’t align, and that hurt. We were supposed to get coffee, and I stupidly was too excited for such a mundane hang out. It had been so long since I’d seen him, and at that point, I was just happy to hear about his life. To catch up. This person had been a part of my daily life for four months and then all of a sudden dropped off the face of the planet. 

When he never reached back out about coffee that day though, I felt such a change. This amazingly incredible person I had built up in my head - shattered. 

I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Give him a full day to respond. That night I did happen to go out with some friends I’d never really spent time with before. While I was out I ran into one of his friends, who seemed to know more about my relationship than I did at that moment. 

It felt like salt being poured on an open wound. 

The next day I confronted him via text, my least favorite platform. I expressed how upset I was with him, which was hard for me to do since this was my first time being truly angry / upset / disappointed in him. He sent me a very politically correct response but did offer to meet up that night to chat.

So we did. We drove around in his car for an hour because that’s about all the time he had. And I did appreciate every moment of that hour. 

He apologized in the way every person in a fight with someone they care about should apologize. He validated my feelings, told me I didn’t have to forgive him at that moment, took full ownership of the situation, and promised to do better.

The thing is though, he didn’t do better. a pattern formed before my eyes. 

After the conversation, I sent him a long text. All of me hated sending a text like that, but I knew I had thoughts I needed to get off my chest and there was no other way to do it given our circumstances. 

No response. Which I expected at that moment because I sent the message so late.

But then a day went by, and two days, and then a week, and then two weeks. 

Wow. 

How am I supposed to believe any of these sentiments - “what, do we go back to being strangers?” “You’re such an important part of my life and I’m not ready to lose you” - ring any truth when this is the way I keep being treated? 

So we come up on week two of no response, and I end up at an event put on by his work. My office sponsored a couple tables at the event, which I went on behalf of the office but also because I wanted to get the closure I felt I deserved at that point. 

I took a big risk praying that A: he’d want to talk to me, and B: offer me a ride home so that we can actually talk. My phone was dead, I hadn’t driven there, and all my coworkers left before the end of the event. 

A buzzed me took a giant sip of wine and walked over to his table at the end of the event boldly saying “are you gonna act like you didn’t see me tonight?” 

He flashed that god damn smile of his that gets me every time and gave me some runaround. I still don’t believe he didn’t see me. I digress.

I make the rounds I need to with him in order to get to my end goal, to actually having the sit-down conversation I needed. That was hard for me since the last time I did that with him we were  “together,” and I’m sure all of those people know no different. 

Shots were fired, jabs were made, but we made it that conversation I’d been desperately seeking. It wasn’t the conversation I wanted, but the one I needed. 

That shit hit cold; not only because it was the official ending of an era of my life, but also I felt I didn’t articulate myself the way I wish I had. Which I guess is why I’ve spent three hours in the middle of the night writing all this out. 

Afterthoughts of that night: 

I am done apologizing for my faults in the situation because I’ve done that more than deserved. 

I am tired of him using the excuse that he’s made it clear where he’s at mentally as a dismissal for his mishandling of me and my emotions in this situation. 

I don't know if we’ll ever see eye-to-eye on the above statement because of our communication styles and our defensive levels for ourselves.

I tried so hard to actively avoid getting hurt in this “situationship,” yet this just as painful and torturous as all my other serious breakups. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry at but so concerned for someone at the same time. 

From a third-party viewpoint, it’s easy to objectively list out all the reasons this relationship would never work (there’s A LOT). Somehow those rationalizations don’t make this hurt any less, and that fucking sucks. 

I will never be able to listen to Miguel the same way. 

I do truly hope there is a point in our lives that we can be friends again. 

I’m done putting him on a pedestal, but he is the best person I’ve ever dated. I do genuinely hope the best for him because despite how fucked up this situation was/is, he’s a wonderful person at his core with his own demons to face. 

WHAT DID I LEARN THOUGH??

This has been hard to tap into, but I know it’s vital to think through in order to get over this situation. 

God’s timing is funny, but there’s a reason for everything. 

Do not use the apps unless you’re ready to pursue a relationship; they cause more emotional labor / drama than you want or need

That organic personality / sexual chemistry is essential. There’s a lot to work on in relationships, but that shouldn’t be one of them. 

You can’t start a relationship / situationship when you’re emotionally unavailable.

Work on the balance of being there for someone and being selfless to the point of self-sabotage. 

The date bar has been set - don’t settle for a man who can’t afford to treat you like you deserve to be treated (as a feminist I’m torn by this statement, but as a woman who loves to be romanced...whoops).

Continue to take your time with relationships. This one may have failed, but that wasn’t because of taking it slow. 

Being with someone who inherently understands your background and values in invaluable. 

The second you recognize a pattern, address it and move forward / get out. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

This was fucking rough. So fucking rough. 

I went through such a roller coaster of emotions today. For the first time in my life, I am the single friend of my core friend group. I’m also alone here in Portland and breaching a point where I’m about to outgrow my core friends in their life stages. 

Fuck, my baby girl is getting married soon. My brother is moving in with his girlfriend. And I’m over here wondering if the rest of my life is going to consist of a bad work/life balance, too much booze, bad dates, and worse sex? 

Also, if anything I’m so god damn afraid to open up to someone ever again. Because what if that person says their willing to wait because “I’m worth it” and then this happens, all over again. How many times do I have to go through this until I find the one?

Agh. Clearly, there’s still a lot to work through. And at least I’ve learned that despite this absolutely awful sex drought, the drought is better than giving a piece of yourself away to every shitty guy who wants to get in your pants on every dating app. 

Dating in Portland though? Slim pickings. Which make finding that spark with someone again feel almost like an impossible feat. 

Hopefully when I go to bed, this’ll all get a little easier. Day by day. Because time heals all wounds right? 

One of the worst expressions to an impatient person though. 

Alright, goodnight Internet. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S.

Who knows if I’ll ever be bold enough to send this to the man himself, but if I do, this is a raw emotional rendition of me and I hope you take that into consideration as you read it. 

Bye Rico, what we had was so special, but such a fucking mess. I’ll miss you quite terribly. 

[originaldisneydescendants]

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

Tagged by:

@askvarian-alchemyisforstuds

Tagging: If you want to do it, consider yourself tagged.

1. What is you middle name? Jeanne

2. How old are you? 22 3. When is your birthday? July 10 4. What is your zodiac sign? Not into Zodiacs 5. What is your favorite color? Pink, blue and purple 6. What’s your lucky number? N/A 7. Do you have any pets? A husky mix named Olivia NJ after the singer and a budgie named Azul 8. Where are you from? Originally: Concord, California 9. How tall are you? 5′2.5” 10. What shoe size are you? 8 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Um... six I think? Probably another pair or two hidden somewhere in my closet. 12. What was your last dream about? My mom and I escaping some weird lady who was chasing us. At one point I was riding behind her on a motorcycle and she popped a wheelie. 13. What talents do you have? I've been told that I'm good at singing, art (painting, drawing, sculpting etc.) and writing (prose/poetry) 14. Are you psychic in any way? No, but I have had prophetic dreams of God just making me aware of what's currently going on in my life 15. Favorite song? A million songs is all it's gonna take, a million songs for the playlist I'm gonna make! 16. Favorite movie? Prince of Egypt, Coco 17. Who would be your ideal partner? The video is pretty cheesy but A Man of God like the one described in this one song 18. Do you want children? Yeah, someday 19. Do you want a church wedding? And I was my pastor to officiate it 20. Are you religious? Let me put it this way, Jesus died for me. How could I do anything less than live for Him? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? On a field trip 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Not to my memory, no 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Define 'met' then define 'celebrity'. I've MET people who are well-known but not exactly celebrity status and asked a question at a Q&A with someone who I guess could be considered a minor celebrity? 24. Baths or showers? Showers and long ones 25. What color socks are you wearing? N/A 26. Have you ever been famous? Voted 'Most Artistic' freshman year at High School, does that count? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? HAHAHAHAHAHA no 28. What type of music do you like? Most kinds as long as it's not screamo or too folky and even then I may have an exception or two 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Maybe when I was a little kid? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Lots 31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my stomach or curled up 32. How big is your house? My mom called it a 'cracker box' house 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Muffins, crepes or waffles 34. Have you ever fired a gun? I'm probably the only person in my family and the whole state who hasn't 35. Have you ever tried archery? In High School P.E. yeah 36. Favorite clean word? Shoot! 37. Favorite swear word? I generally don't swear. I could probably count the number of times on my hands. If you ever hear me swear... run 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 24-48 hours? I don't remember 39. Do you have any scars? Everywhere 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Define 'secret' 41. Are you a good liar? I don't think so, I try to avoid lying as much as I can 42. Are you a good judge of character? I think so? Not if I have a crush on them though unfortunately 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? A few, I'm not sure how many 44. Do you have a strong accent? I guess? I tend to pronounce my Ts as Ds like people in the area do 45. What is your favorite accent? Scottish and French, maybe British as well 46. What is your personality type? ISFP last I checked 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? An outfit that my grandmother bought for my last Easter with a black boat-neck top and a poofy black and white skirt 48. Can you curl your tongue? Yup 49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie 50. Left or right handed? Right 51. Are you scared of spiders? I used to be very arachnophobic but I think I'm getting a little better. I think it would be a lot easier if they didn't bite or move so fast. I'm gonna have to get used to them because my mom now lives in a rural house and they have orb-weaver spiders EVERYWHERE 52. Favorite food? Honey-walnut shrimp, rotisserie hot dogs and pizza 53. Favorite foreign food? Ethiopian stew and call me weird, I like calamari and kim nori 54. Are you a clean or messy person? It fluctuates 55. Most used phrase? “LORD help me.” 56. Most used word? Cool 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? I am slow so it takes forever 58. Do you have much of an ego? I try not to? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? When I'm not just letting it sit in my mouth, I gnaw like an animal chewing on a bone 60. Do you talk to yourself? Of course I do. I have a lot to say and few people willing to hear me ramble 61. Do you sing to yourself? When I'm home alone 62. Are you a good singer? I got a four out of five score in my High School's solo and ensemble competition and I believe I have improved since then 63. Biggest Fear? Very venomous things 64. Are you a gossip? I really try not to but sometimes some nameless gossip slips out of me 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Besides Prince of Egypt, The Case for Christ actually had me crying through most of it 66. Do you like long or short hair? Both have pros and cons. Short hair doesn't get knotted or tangled but you can't do the braids you want and if you go to sleep with wet hair you will wake up to a monster on your head that you can't get rid of 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Here we go... California, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Colorado, Texas, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio, Illinois, New York, Massachusetts, Georgia, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Alabama, Hawaii, Alaska, Maine, Maryland, Rhode Island, Nebraska, Virginia, West Virginia, Arkansas, Wyoming, Mississippi, Louisiana, Utah, Michigan, and here are the rest that I got from the Animaniac's song: Indiana, New Jersey, Delaware, New Hampshire, Vermont, Connecticut, Kansas, Iowa, 68. Favorite school subject? Art and Creative Writing 69. Extrovert or Introvert? Usually an introvert but I have extroverted moments 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope 71. What makes you nervous? Public speaking 72. Are you scared of the dark? I was when I was a kid 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? ...I have a habit 74. Are you ticklish? Don't touch me 75. Have you ever started a rumor? If I have it was unintentional and I was unaware of it 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Does backstage security count? 77. Have you ever drank underage? Depends. Does that include church communion? 78. Have you ever done drugs? I drink a lot of caffeine 79. Who was your first real crush? Hunter from Kindergarten, he had curly hair and dimples and to this day that remains a weakness of mine 80. How many piercings do you have? I don't even have my ears pierced, not that I have anything against it, it just never happened 81. Can you roll your Rs? The ability comes and goes 82. How fast can you type? I took a whole class on typing and I have no clue 83. How fast can you run? I ran a mile in 12 minutes and I think that was me at my fastest 84. What color is your hair? Brown 85. What color are your eyes? Dark brown 86. What are you allergic to? I may have a slight allergy to the adhesive in band-aids depending on where I put them 87. Do you keep a journal? I've tried repeatedly but it always gets neglected 88. What do your parents do? My mom is a caretaker for the elderly and my dad is a retired under sheriff/paramedic who now drives the city bus and teaches driving 89. Do you like your age? I'm in the prime of life yo 90. What makes you angry? My brother taking a whole box of food, eating half of it and throwing the rest away without touching it... 91. Do you like your own name? Yeah 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Not the most unique but I like Luke and Matthew for boys and maybe Akina for a girl? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? See above 94. What are you strengths? Spirit. 95. What are your weaknesses? *Opens book* *Ahem* chapter one... 96. How did you get your name? My name means hillside/slope and I was named after where my dad proposed to my mom... also a perfume company 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Not that I'm aware of 98. Do you have any scars? Didn't I already answer this one? 99. Color of your bedspread? Cream with gold stars 100. Color of your room? Way too light to be beige and dull? I'm not sure...

#placing this under the cut because it is so long

[theblacksirenx]

Time Can’t Erase The Memories

Who → Laurel Lance

When → July 4th, 2018. ~ 4:30pm.

Where → Laurel’s bedroom

Notes → Another self para from me bc I have no self control and I just need to write. Contains current time stuff and flashbacks in the form of memories. Italicized pars are the flashbacks. Gives you a bit of insight into the real Laurel and her life, rather than the stuff she tells everyone about the Laurel she pretends to be.

Staring up at the photo hanging on the wall across from her bed, Laurel sighed. Nowhere else in the house did she have any pictures. Just the one. The shot of her with Matt and James warmed her heart, and it made her happy being able to look up and see it every day. It was a good memory, a happy one. It was a picture she could look at without feeling any type of anger or sadness.

It was easy for Laurel to say that she just didn’t have any pictures of her life before Amsterdam. But much like her life, and who she claimed to be, it was a lie. She had pictures. She had plenty of them. But hanging them up would never do any good. It could give away the lies she had told, and it would only bring her sadness. Laurel looked back at her life before Amsterdam, hell, even before going to this Earth, and it made her feel awful 

Leaning over from where she sat in bed with her legs crossed, she tugged open the drawer of her night stand. Beneath a few books, she had hidden a small stack of pictures. Some of them were worn and faded, small tears obvious along the edges. Some of them were in better condition, the newer ones that she had from her time on this Earth.

On the top of the stack sat a family picture. It was her, her mother, and her father. Laurel was wearing her pajamas still, but her parents had set up the camera with a timer to surprise her with a stack of waffles with syrup, chocolate chips, whipped cream, and a candle. It was a traditional Lance family thing to do when it was someone’s birthday. She clearly remembered that day. 

“Happy birthday, Dinah!” her parents chanted as they set the plate in front of her at the table.

She leaned forward, blowing the candle out before picking up her fork and knife.

“This.. is the best tradition I think our family has,” she told them, shoving a forkful of waffle into her mouth.

“We’ll go out for dinner later,” her mother said.

“And that’s not all,” her father said. “I’ll be picking up your favorite this afternoon. Yellow cake,” he said. “With chocolate glaze,” he said, as she chimed in along with her father to finish his sentence.

“I can’t wait. You guys are the best.”

It was one of the worst days of her life.

“Where’s daddy?” she asked. “He’s been gone for a long time, it doesn’t usually take him this long to go out for the cake.”

“Dinah, sweetie..” her mother said, wiping wet streaks of eyeliner and mascara off of her cheeks. “Y-your father was in an accident.”

“He.. what do you mean, where is he?” she asked, her voice beginning to shake.

The moment her mother said that her father was dead, it felt like her whole world shattered. She and her father had a bond that was unbreakable. He was her partner in crime, the parent she trusted more, the parent she felt like she could tell anything to even when she had screwed up. And now he was gone.

“N-no, you’re lying to me,” she said, ignoring the tears falling. “He’s not gone, this is some cruel joke. It.. It’s my birthday,” she sobbed.

Her mother’s arms went around her tightly, but she pushed her away. She was thirteen years old, and her father was gone. On her birthday, he had died. She never thought that when she saw him before he left that it would be the last time. 

“His body is at the hospital. Dinah, we need to go,” Mrs. Lance stated, trying to keep herself together for her daughter’s sake.

“I’m not going anywhere!” she snapped, giving her mother a hard shove. “Just leave me alone.” 

She stormed off to her room, slamming the door behind her. The small brunette leaned against the closed door, sliding down it until she was seated on the floor with her knees tucked up to her chest. 

“Happy fucking birthday to me.”

A single tear rolled down Laurel’s cheek, but she was quick to brush it away. Eve since that day, she avoided doing anything for her birthday. It always became a day where she could be alone, and deal with the huge loss. Sometimes it’d become a day of anger, and acting out. But she made sure that she never had birthday cake, never celebrated, and she rarely told people that was her birthday so she could really avoid it all.

Setting the photo down, Laurel looked at the next one in the stack. Her and Oliver. 

“Do you have to go?”

“Have to? No. But I should. My dad and I don’t always see eye to eye but I know that he’s looking forward to the trip,” Oliver stated.

“I’m going to miss you, Ollie,” she told him.

Oliver pressed his lips to her temple, and tugged her closer. She curled up against him, running her fingers gently up and down his bare chest. She didn’t know it was possible to love like that. After losing her dad, she became so mad at the world, but Oliver was there for her. He stood by her, even as she began making some less than good decisions.

“I know. But it’s only a short trip, we’ll be back in a week. Promise.”

She leaned up and kissed him softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Her eyes glued to the photo, she felt a pain in her chest that she knew was heartache. They looked so happy in the shot, standing on the dock right before her boyfriend got on the boat with his father. Laurel was sad that he was leaving, but she had been sure that she’d have him back soon enough so they could continue their lives together. She never expected to be so wrong.

As the news flickered across the television screen, the words she read an heard were unbelievable. There was no way. 

“Starling City native and owner of Queen Consolidated, Robert Queen, and son Oliver Queen found dead after boating accident.”

“No..” she whispered. “No, no no..”

She tightened her blanket around her body, feeling sick to her stomach. She loved him. Oliver Queen was the love of her life, and she was never going to see him again. Much like her father’s death, she never could have seen it coming. Growing up, she knew that the family used the Gambit all the time. She didn’t understand what happened.

“Ollie,” she cried out, listening and watching as the news continued with the story. “No..”

They had plans. He was the only man she had ever envisioned a future with. They were so happy, they had everything figured out and suddenly it was all ripped away from her. She was crying, sure, but inside she felt completely numb. Her Ollie was dead. 

She was only twenty two. But he was dead, and she had now lost the two most important men in her life. There was no getting them back. They were gone. 

Laurel and her mother didn’t have what anyone would call a functional relationship. After her father’s death, it just got worse. Her mother didn’t know how to handle Laurel as she started to act out, causing trouble and becoming more and more angry and aggressive as the months and years passed. So when the news came out about Oliver, Laurel had nobody. She was on her own to grieve the fact that she had nobody.

People wondered why she always found herself involved with bad men. But she desperately wanted to be around that strong male figure and although her choices weren’t always ideal, it was enough for her. The distraction that came from being with them and working with them was also very welcome. She needed that.

As she set that one down, she sighed softly. She didn’t have a memory for that one, because even though it was her face, it wasn’t her. It still made her stomach twist though. It was Quentin, and his Laurel. She knew Quentin carried around the picture of the two of them after his Laurel died. She remembered when she saw it for the first time, but she could entirely remember how the picture ended up in her possession. Seeing it now, she wondered if it would have been better if it had stayed with Sara. Her doppelganger’s sister was a great woman, and Laurel could only imagine the pain of losing both her sister and her father.

When she moved to the next picture in the small stack, she had to take a minute to breathe. She felt like all of the air had been sucked out of her lungs. Laurel wiped her eyes as more tears fell. 

He was gone. Another person she cared for, taken away. She wondered when this cycle would stop. She knew she lived in a shitty world full of shitty people, but she didn’t think that Quentin was going to be the next person in her life that she’d never see alive again. 

“I’m so sorry, daddy,” she whispered.

Looking at the cold, lifeless body in front of her, Laurel didn’t know what else to say. Sara had left more than half an hour ago, but she still remained. She couldn’t seem to pull herself away.

“You didn’t deserve this.”

She pulled a chair over to him and sat down, taking his hand in hers. Her eyes stung with tears as she looked at him, wishing that there was something she could do to change this. 

Quentin’s death was so fresh. He died trying to save her. Diaz had the gun pointed at her, ready to shoot her. But Quentin jumped in front of that bulled for her. He wasn’t supposed to die. The doctors were optimistic, he should have made it through surgery. But he seized on the table and there was no coming back from it. His brain was without oxygen for too long. 

He wasn’t technically her father. He was Laurel and Sara’s father. Her died years before, back on her Earth. But it still ripped her apart inside. He died right before she left for Amsterdam. While he hadn’t been the one who raised her, he looked like the man who did. And sure, they had only known each other a short while, but he looked at her as if she was his Laurel.

Once they got past the initial rockiness of her kidnapping him, him shooting her on Lian Yu, all the other times she did shitty things to him and Team Arrow, he treated her like a daughter. He took her somewhere safe when she was shot by Dinah Drake, he tried time and time again to find redeeming qualities in her that she was pretty sure she didn’t have. He was the reason she finally stood up to Diaz. He was the reason she had begun seeing the light, and how did she repay him? By getting him killed.

At first, referring to him as her dad was just a way for her to ruffle his feathers and get under his skin. But eventually it was because he really was a father to her. She loved him as if he really were her father. He was such a positive force to have around. But now he was gone, and she entirely blamed herself for that.

The stack of pictures had a few more in it, but Laurel couldn’t bring herself to keep looking. Her little trip down memory lane was more than enough to make her wish she had just burned the pictures, or left them back in Star City. 

Deep down, she knew that even if she had destroyed them, or left them behind, she still had the memories engraved into her head whether she liked it or not. Going through that much loss could take a toll on anyone, and losing people she loved was something her mind would never be able to escape. She walked around with the grief of the losses every single day of her life.

Stacking them up neatly, she put the pictures back in her night stand. Her face was wet with tears, and she couldn’t seem to make them stop. She inhaled shakily as she looked up at the picture hanging on the wall. Her heart was so heavy and full of sadness, but looking at the smiling faces she, Matt, and James all wore was nice. That feeling left quickly though. 

So many men in her life, all the good ones, were dead. What if that was a sign?What if now, any man she got close to would end up dead? She didn’t want that. She hoped that she was safe their in Amsterdam, but there were no guarantees. There was no way to know for sure that she wasn’t going to be found by Diaz. There was no way to know whether or not she and the people she had grown close to would be able to live peacefully for very long. Fear was a powerful thing, and Laurel was full of it. 

No matter how much she wished she could breathe in relief, relax, live life to it’s fullest, and forget the pain she endured, she knew it was impossible.

#{ self para } #back at it with another self para and tbh i kinda broke my own heart with this one #death tw #guns tw #kudos to anyone who actually reads these things #bc they're long and kinda useless but i just like to write idk #also this one is like.. twice the length i usually write

[alicedoessurveys]

loooooong survey

Childhood

Did you spend your childhood time with mostly real or imaginary friends?: real. I spent most summers/half terms with my cousins and my neighbour’s grandkids. Did people consider you an odd child?: not odd, just shy  Do you have memories that go back to when you were only a few months old?: nope Do you remember any thoughts you had when you where very young?: not really nope  

Were they intricate or simple thoughts?: probably simple but I can't remember 

If you answered “intricate”, give an example of one of those thoughts: n/a

Were you dreams very vivid as a child?: yes, still do. I also used to get really bad night terrors a lot as a kid What is the strangest memory you have from early childhood?: can't think of anything strange.. Were you a child prodigy or did you display any gifts at a young age?: I drew a lot, but I was no prodigy What was the most “grown-up” thing you ever said as a child?: I have no idea What were your favourite TV shows in early childhood?: I grew up on Fairly Odd Parents, Rugrats, Tracy Beaker Were you afraid of monsters?: yes, especially zombies Did you believe that fictional characters were real?: yes Were you more quiet and artistic or loud and physical? quiet and artistic  Issues and stuff Do you eat meat?: yup, but only beef, chicken and bacon/sausage  If you do, what is your justification for it?: I dont feel I need to justify it, just like I wouldn't expect a vegetarian to justify why they dont eat meat. each to their own.  If you could legalize 3 things in the US, what would they be?: I dont live in the US, I dont really know their laws and I dont really care  Do you believe in the death penalty?: nope Did Mumia do it?: do what..? If you had a choice, which country would you have chosen to be born into?: I like that im English, I just wish I was born in a different part of England cause Birmingham is a shit hole What are your opinions of Michael Moore?: I dont know who that is  Describe your feelings about marijuana legalization: I think it should be for those who need it for medical stuff Red, White and Blue is a ghastly color combination, right?: nope What television news coverage do you detest the most?: all of it, I dont watch the news What will you do if Bush is re-elected? Im British, I dont care  Which state do you think will drop off into the ocean first?: idk Who do you consider “American Heros”?  I feel like these questions are very aimed at Americans  Completely Obtuse And Silly Questions Have you ever taken something apart just to see how it worked? yes  Do you ever yell at the television while you are alone? Reason?: not yell, but talk to the telly yeah. and not even just while im alone.  Name a few things (if any) that you bought on Ebay recently: I cant remember the last time I bought something off eBay  Are the Muppetes sinister? Think about it.: nope... o.O Do you watch the Science Channel (Discovery) on a regular basis?: no ive never watched it  Ever gotten into an “in person” argument with a total stranger? Discuss: yup. basically I was at this event thing where they had boats and pretty floating lights and shit on a river. we had waited all day to see them and when they were finally coming past we couldn't see them because it was so crowded and there was a “security guy” stood in the way. There was kids infront of me who kept saying they couldn't see because of him so I yelled “MOVE” and he turned around and started arguing with me. Long story short, he eventually moved out the way and found a space where he wasn't blocking anyones view and the people around me thanked me. I felt so awkward after cause im not a confrontational person at all but I was so tired & irritated that I just snapped.  Sugar or Honey?: Sugar What’s on your desk right now?: im not sat at my desk atm  How many e-mails do you recieve a day?: about 20 Do you think that time travel is a possibility?: no Are you slightly addicted to online tests and surveys?: not addicted, I just enjoy doing them to pass time San Francisco or New York City?: ive never been to either, but I would like to go to New York  What are your favorite color combinations?: grey and light blush pink looks nice Close your eyes and type the first random image that pops into your head: I cant because im listening to hairspray so thats all I can see right now  Do you enjoy night or day better?: depends what im doing  Favorite animal: Dogs   Have you ever been to a protest?: Nope, but ive ended up in the same place as a protest was taking place and it was horrible Aggravated a cop on purpose?: No Ever gone train hopping/ridden the rails?: Nope If you could choose a time period in which to live, which would it be?: I’m fine with this one Ever put your hand through a window?: no List a few words you hate the sound of: the c word And a few you like the sound of: idk Are you sick of this survey yet? not really  Emotions And Such Have you attempted suicide more than once?: No  Cutting?: Yes Do you get violent when you are angry?: Not with people, just with myself or just like throw stuff on the floor like a brat  Which emotion are you most consumed by?: fear Are you highly emotive?: Yes Do you discuss problems or keep them to yourself?: keep them to myself, and if I do discuss them I downplay or make jokes Do you fall in love easily?: not in love, but I do fall for people too easy What age/year was the most difficult for you?: around ages 19-now How do you channel your anger/sadness?: shut myself away and cry  Ever been addicted to alcohol or drugs?: No

Ever been homeless?: No List a few simple things that make you happy: playing sims, Tumblr, theatre When were you most recently your happiest?: hanging out with nick and Addison the other day  Do you consider yourself empathetic?: yes Friends Do you have friends that are drastically different from each other?: my main group of friends is only like 3 people and they have their differences but not drastic differences List a few key traits that all of your friends have in common: my friends are all into gaming, watching films & eating Do you keep in touch with friends from high school?: yes, two of my best friends are from school Have you lost touch with many of your friends?: almost everyone I become friends with end up losing touch in the end but ive been friends with Addison for 10 years and Rhys for 20 years Are they mostly local or long distance?: local  When you go out with friends, what kinds of things do you do?: usually go to the arcade, cinema and get food Have you ever been betrayed by a close friend?: yes If yes, are you still friends with that person?: no Are your friends mostly your age, younger or older?: rhys & Addison are 23, nick is 25, I am 22

Do you have a hard time making friends because most people bore you?: no, I have a hard time making friends because im socially awkward Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups?: groups, it takes the pressure off in conversations Which of you online friends do you have the most in common with?: I dont have any online friends Family Are you close to your family?: yes What traits are you glad you inherited from them?: faithfulness & a good sense of humour  What sitcom does your family most remind you of?: I cant think of anything other than that me and my mom are a lot like Miranda and her mom from the sitcom ‘Miranda’ Does your family live locally or far away?: local Have you ever stopped speaking to someone in your family?: yes Have either of your parents died?: no, thank god Is your family very much like you or are you opposites?: a lot like me  How many siblings do you have?: one older sister Has your family ever thrown food at each other?: yes, every christmas season we throw chocolates at each other from the Quality Street or Roses tins Are the holidays a nightmare or a time of joy?: I love Christmas Day and I normally love christmas shopping but this year I found it all very stressful because I was so busy at the theatre and I had no money to buy gifts  Do you look like your parents?: ive been told I do List one interesting fact about your family: apparently my dads side of the family is descended from royalty Lovers Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual or no idea?: Straight Married/partnered?: Single Ever gone out with someone you were embarrassed to be seen with?: no Ever broken someones heart?: someone I “dated” in infant school told me when we reunited in senior school that I broke his heart. but I didn't actually do anything so I dont know where he got that from  How many serious relationships have you had?: none Have you ever lusted obsessively over someone you knew you couldn’t have?: not obsessively lusted, but I have fancied guys that I knew nothing could ever happen.  Do you believe in the theory of soulmates?: yes Ever cheated?: No Been cheated on?: No Thrown someones stuff out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: Nope Had your stuff thrown out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: Nope Most important emotional qualities of a lover?: someone who makes me feel happy and can make me smile, makes me feel comfortable, is caring, trustworthy, honest, affectionate  Most important physical qualities?: I dont think physical qualities are super important but I do fall for peoples eyes & smile Food & Drink Non-alcoholic beverage of choice: cherry coke or caramel hot chocolate Alcoholic beverage of choice: cider Foods you crave on a regular basis: chocolate

Salsa and Chips or Pita and Hummus?: neither Meat or Tofu?: Meat Soup or Salad?: soup Soda or Juice?: Soda Can I get you anything else?: You didn't get me anything..? :’) Favorite candy:: chocolate in general Favorite food to make: lasagne 

Food brand that you hate?: idk Do you try to buy all organic?: nope  Favorite fast food?: mcdonalds Final Questions Ever had a great song ruined for you after it was used in a commercial?: yes

Ever yelled at an SUV?: nope A Hummer?: Nope Ever faked being sick to get out of going somewhere?: yes If you could turn back time and change one thing, what would it be?: stay in college Bambi or Nemo?: Nemo List 3 things that are worrying you right now: 1, money. 2, a meeting I have to go to next week that im absolutely dreading. 3, I have this constant annoying anxiety that tells me my friends dont actually like me and that I get on everyones nerves.  Do you think you’ll ever have children if you don’t already?: not my own now, but I hope to adopt Do you think there is life on other planets?: no Have you ever broken a leg or arm?: nope Would you rather stay in the house or do things outside: depends on my mood David Letterman or Jay Leno?: I dont know who they are  Last words?: Bye

#survey #long

[salytierra]

Hello there! :D I'm a huge fan of mythologies from various different cultures, so I was wondering if you could tell a bit about Spanish mythology? Anything from mythical creatures to popular legends. Thank you in advance! ^^

SPANISH LEGENDS AND MYTHOLOGY 

Hello! Sorry for taking so long to answer. Unfortunately, this theme is not my specialty at all, but I’ll try my best to give you a decent answer :’D 

PRE-ROMAN IBERIANS

Little is known about Iberian customs and beliefs. They had a very rich and flourishing culture and social life, but all the written testimony had been lost due to the fact that their writing has not bee de-codified yet. Apparently they were polytheists and, according to the late chronicles of roman historians during the invasion, had received a lot of religious influence from Phoenicians and Greeks, their permanent trade partners for centuries. There had been some discoveries like The Lady of Baza and the Lady of Elche that suggest a strong leadership by Priestesses in the religious life. 

As for mythology, it had been heavily inspired by the Helenic beliefs about this part of the world. According to Carthaginian chronicles there used to be a temple where the “Columns of Heracles” were supposed to be, at the edge of the Strait of Gibraltar. Hannibal Barca is said to have sworn eternal hate to Rome in that temple. One of the theories also say that he gave name to the city of Barcelona and the Columns of Heracles are still present in the Spanish Crest of Arms. 

Still, most of the known Iberian mythology is like: “here supposedly be a rock where something happened according to other people.” 

A myth/legend/weird history thing worth mentioning though is Tartessos:

TARTESSOS

Tartessos is, crudely said, the Iberian Atlantis. Although to be fair Atlantis was probably made up by Plato but Tartessos has been definitively proven to have been real in the recent research. The problem is that nobody knows where the heck it was. 

Supposedly it was a great coastline civilization miles ahead of its surrounding regions and of their time, with a rich culture and technology, that just disappeared without leaving any trace. It’s fall is mostly consistent with the fall of Phoenicia, around the Vth century BC. 

Some theories say that Tartessos had been wiped out by a Tsunami, since its a region of heavy seismic activity, others that it just died out with the end of the Phoenician commerce or that the surrounding cultures caught up and they stopped being special, thus just mixing around and disappearing. 

In any case, it’s a mystery! 

THE CELTIC NORTH-WEST

Their legends and mythology are far clearer, more documented, and survive to this day. However, I don’t think I can surprise you with any of them because (according to my tour guide in Santiago) most of them can be found in other regions of Celtic descend, specially in Ireland. 

Of the most “recent” (middle ages) The Holy Procession (the procession of the dead dressed in white that you can find walking around at midnight) comes to mind, also the meigas, sort of witches, and bruixas, their nice, cool equivalent that people liked. 

St. JAMES THE MOOR-SLAYER

This is an individual legend but it’s very important. So, in Galicia they say rest the bones of the Apostle St. James (Santiago), which turned it into the hotspot for pilgrimage, specially after the Muslims in the east cut the christian pilgrimage routes to Jerusalem and started killing the pilgrims. So like, the next best option, and way safer, was the restplace of St. James, crossing the territories of the Catholic Kingdoms of Hispania. 

PS: Leaving aside the fascinating legend of how his rests got there (it involves a stone boat, a couple of bulls and a truckload of scallops), the first touristic-guide in the world is believed to be a guide to the way of St. James, the Codex Calixtinus, written around the year 1135.

According to the Legend, the Asturian King Ramiro I was visited by the Apostle Santiago clad in battle wear the night before a big battle with the moors, and the next day, at the battlecry of “Santiago!” the troops of Ramiro won a seemingly impossible battle. From then on and through the centuries variations of “For Spain and for Santiago!” (Santiago and charge, Spain!, For Santiago and the Spains!, etc…) became the official cry of the Spanish Army and the apostle Santiago is the patron Saint of Spain. 

PS: Around the same period we also find a lot of legends and lore related to the Templars and the military orders of the Peninsula (Santiago, Calatrava, Alcántara, Montesa in Spain and Avis in Portugal) 

THE LOVERS OF TERUEL

Sometimes called “the Spanish Romeo & Juliet” it’s in my opinion a way better story, not only it has been proven to have elements of truth in it, but because nobody is fucking 13! 

Funnily enough for a short while this legend had been accused of being a copy of one included in the Decameron of Boccaccio until it had been discovered that the first instances of it date back to a whole century before the Decameron was written, so it may have been actually the other way ‘round. 

Anyway, the events were supposed to have happened in the city of Teruel in the year 1217. A young boy Diego (sometimes called Juan) of the Marcilla family and the girl Isabel of the Segura family, grew up playing together and when their teenage hormones hit hard, fell in love. 

However, even though the Marcilla family was important, it was not as important as the Segura family and Diego was the second son, meant to inherit nothing. There was no way he could marry the only daughter and heiress of the Segura family. So he struck a deal with her father: he’d go to war (meaning la Reconquista) fight hard, rise in rank and earn a world of wealth in five years. If in that time he returned rich, he’d marry Isabel. 

So he left. Passed some years, Isabel’s father started insisting in her to get married but, and here comes my favorite part, she refused on the premise that she had to remain a maiden until 20, because no woman should get married before she learned how to manage a household. And her father, as any good middle-ages dad, that loved and respected his daughter, agreed with her. 

However, when the five years passed and Diego didn’t return, Isabel believed him dead and agreed to marry Don Pedro of Azagra. However, right after the ceremony, Diego returned with great riches! Too late tho. His beloved was already married. 

So he sneaked up into her and her husband’s bedroom at night and asked her for a kiss: “kiss me, for I’m dying!”. She refused on the terms that she would not be unfaithful to her husband, he asked her again and she refused again. 

So Diego just dropped dead of heartache. 

Isabel woke up her husband and told him what happened. He was like “but why didn’t you kiss him?!” so she told him she hadn’t wanted to betray her husband, so he was “you truly are a woman worth of praise.” 

They sneaked him out of their home in the middle of the night and left him in a local church, so the husband wouldn’t get blamed for his death. 

The next day the funeral ceremony took place and Isabel came, dressed in her wedding gown, and leaning over Diego’s body gave him the kiss that she had refused him in life. 

And then she also fell dead. 

The husband then told everyone in the church their story and the town agreed to bury them together, so at least in death they would be side by side. 

Their inexplicably mummified bodies were discovered in 1555 during repair works at the San Pedro church, in Teruel, next to a document dating to the formerly stated year, corroborating the popular legend. 

Since with time the fame of this story spread around Spain. The mummies now lay in a chapel and in marble tombs with exquisitely sculpted lids by the artist Juan de Ávalos y Taborda.

Written as a part of the @aphaskevent

Country embassy: Spain (in case it wasn’t clear… xD) 

Sorry for not being able to tell any better stories, and this probably doesn’t answer your question, but I just thought it better not to talk too much on stuff I didn’t know about and focus on what I did. 

#hetaliafandomhub #aphaskevent #aph spain #spain #spanish mythology #aph #aph ambassador #embassy board #kimanda #answers #pictures from wikimedia

[purplesurveys]

677

Are you fascinated by rivers? They’re surely beautiful, but I’m not fascinated by them. What's the closest river to you? Marikina River. Nothing too special about it, except that when I was a kid we would drive by a giant shoe that used to be situated on the river, which was there because Marikina is the shoe capital of the country. My memory keeps telling me it was a giant pink stiletto heel, but this is what Google is showing me so I guess I was wrong.

What's the 6th saved survey on your saved survey page? I don’t even know what this means. There are saved surveys? Do you like the look of lights shining on water? Again, they’re pretty but I don’t get fixated on them when I do see them. I feel like they would make me too sad. Have you ever been in a building with over 100 floors? Nope. But I’d love to go to one of those buildings where the top floor’s floor is literally just glass. What a trip lmao.

Do you like Google Earth? It’s a cool app. It’s got lots of features and is super detailed, and afaik it can even show the solar system, so there’s really nothing to dislike about it. How long does it usually take you to make a survey? I don’t make surveys but I reckon it would take me a while as I’m generally bad at thinking up questions or scenarios. Do you live near a volcano? I wouldn’t say I live near Laguna where the nearest volcano, Taal, is – it’s definitely driveable, but where I’m coming from, I wouldn’t go to Laguna just to have lunch, if that analogy makes sense. That being said, the effects from its January eruption still definitely reached our house and the ashfall was pretty bad. How big is the screen on your digital camera? I don’t have a digital camera anymore, and I forgot how big the screen was from my old one. Are you tired of hearing about the stimulus package? Eugh. I have no idea what this means but I DO remember reading about this when I was reading up on business articles for my business reporting class so I do not want to start looking it up lmao. What's the grossest thing you've read on fmylife.com? I don’t think I ever spent time there. Do you know why glacial ice is blue? Nope.

Would you rather go on a cruise to Alaska or the Caribbean? Alaska. The Carribean is already too reminiscent of our own beaches, so I would go for a change in scenery, climate, and culture. Have you seen a picture of the octo-mom when she was pregnant? No. Do you find train whistles comforting? Nooooooo. They are loud and scary. What bird is the cutest? I’m generally not a big bird person but Michelle has a cockatoo and it’s the only bird I know lmao, so I guess I would go with her Moonmoon. Do you like it when they're puffed up and fluffy? I don’t really have an opinion. What's the most annoying language? Lmao languages aren’t supposed to be annoying. Though to be honest, I’ve never understood the practice of placing gender onto nouns... this is the thing that frustrated me the most while learning Spanish on Duolingo, and it’s highkey why I stopped wanting to learn it – I just never got the hang of it. I dunno if other languages do this as well, but Spanish definitely does.

Does animal abuse make you want to cry? Always. I avoid any and every picture or video on it. Don't you just love the Bzoink forums? I never check out the forums. I’m only there for the surveys. Why do people who think the world's gonna end stock up on food? Because everybody else is going to want to have enough food when food production stops. It’s only a matter of time til groceries get wiped out, so there’s the natural response to hoard as much as possible. This is literally what’s happening right now with the virus, so this is actually easy to answer  hahaha. Have you ever heard of Flower Mound, Texas? Nope. Isn't it annoying when people act really stupid to get attention? Yep, no patience for that. Do you know anyone like that? I knew someone from my high school. We rode the same school bus, she’s three years younger, and I guess she just wanted me to like her so bad? I never confirmed if that was the case but her actions screamed that. Long story she used to do stupid shit just so I’d turn my head, and eventually I got the gimmick so I stopped minding her completely. Do you like watching shows about natural diasters and destructive weather? Not really. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? I never got scared, actually. Whether I was healthy or something was wrong with me, i.e. my scoliosis, I was always pretty excited to see my insides HAHA. Do big eyes freak you out? There are big eyes that look endearing, like my girlfriend’s youngest sister’s; but there are big eyes that look psycho, like one of my high school teachers who I hated looking at :(((( It really depends. Have you ever stayed in a hotel room and watched TV all day? Only in hotels in Metro Manila, which we usually visit. But if we’re at a hotel out of town or of the country, then it seems pretty dumb to spend the whole day in the room when there’s so many more places we could go to. Does the place you live in have any man-made lakes? Nope. Were you surprised about them adding a 13th contestant on American Idol? Couldn’t care less, especially at this point lol. Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? Frozen anything? In the Philippines? Unheard of. Have you ever been dragged behind a boat on an intertube? Mmmm nope. Have you ever held a real sword? Sure. JM’s dad has a collection of swords and he allowed us to touch one of them when we went over at his place. Do you rent movies from Blockbuster Online or Netflix? I never encountered Blockbuster and I’ve only reached Netflix’s streaming age, so there’s that. Have you ever walked to another state? Nope. Sounds like a lot of walking though. Do you like it when clouds are hovering over mountaintops? Idk, I don’t really mind it. Does it always rain when you go on vacation? No. There was only that one time when it rained really hard when we were on vacation and it meant we didn’t have any cable in our cabin (which was already secluded enough lmao, and the cable TV was our only link to the outside world ksjfehehf), and that we couldn’t go out and explore the island. Why are the stores/buildings in New York City built with revolving doors? I have no idea, ask New Yorkers lol. Do you like sitting on stairs? Uh it’s fine I guess. Have yoy ever seen a tree over 100 years old? I probably have. What\\\'s your favorite movie that\\\'s won Best Oscar? Gone with the Wind. Have you ever stayed up till 3 AM taking surveys? I definitely have been doing that the last few days thanks to the lockdown. Have you ever drempt you were taking surveys? That’s a very creative way to spell dreamt, damn. Anyway, no I don’t think so HAHAHA. Do you feel uncomfortable at fancy restaurants? No. If anything I like them because I’m guaranteed excellent service and food.

#survey #surveys

[maidenariana]

Wrapping Up My Seattle Trip Part 1

I am back home after my flight to O’hare/Chicago and a quick Uber ride. The photos in this post will all be from Wednesday and Thursday and I will post about the rest of my trip in part 2 tomorrow night. 

The picture above and the one below are from Wednesday when we went to Pike Place Market. This is the second time I have been there in my life, but only the first time the real me got to experience it :) With the kids there, my sister and I did not spend as much time shopping as we probably would have if it were just the two of us, but no complaints here as we all had a fun time. My kids got some souvenir tops and I held off on buying anything for myself. As usual, I am not posting pics of my kids to respect the wishes of their Mom. Most of my photos from this trip are of them or of my niece and nephew. :)

After the market, we saw the original Starbucks but did not go in as the line was insanely long. However, my daughter and I both were craving some Starbucks. A little later on while my sister, her kids, and my son went to Tully’s to rest, we decided to walk back to the Starbucks location that is around the corner a little ways from the original Starbucks. We found an alley to walk down that turned out to be filled with shops and restaurants. It was so cool. Seattle has so many nooks and crannies to explore! It was busy at the other Starbucks too, but the line was doable so we waited and got our favorite drinks. That location is called 1st Ave Pike Street and I recommend it if you find yourself in the same situation! 

^^Original Starbucks^^

^^1st Ave, Pike Street Location ^^

On the way back to the house, we got stuck in a traffic jam in the heart of the city. My niece started to get fussy, so I took the wheel while my sister attended to her. I put my Chicago driving skills to the task and got us back as quickly and safely as possible in a major traffic back up ;-) Thankfully we brought just enough snacks and my daughter was tossing some of her recently purchased Salt Water Taffy up front to help sustain us :)

The next day, we planned to split up. My sister, my daughter and I were going out for some girl time, while my brother-in-law, my son, nephew and niece went to my nephew’s soccer game. The plan was for us all to then meet at their cabin on Hood Canal for a two day stay.

Our girl time started with a trip to a cute little shop called Tickled Pink in Gig Harbor. I bought some souvenir earrings and a ring for only $12. The pics below are of my outfit for this day and I took a selfie while shopping there because I was having so much fun :)

^^ I was so excited for some girl time with my sister and daughter :) ^^

Okay.. actually I took two or more selfies at Tickled Pink! haha..

After shopping, it was time to grab some coffee at Starbucks, then we went to a local nail salon for pedicures, sorry about the cropping in the image below :)

After grabbing a quick lunch at a place called the Pita Pit, we headed out to the cabin. Unfortunately, shortly after getting there I realized I forgot my cell phone charger and no one had a matching one so I spent a lot of the time there with my phone turned off so I could be sure to have battery when needed for photos. This is why I am posting so much about my trip several days late!

^^ Finally at the Cabin! ^^ 

^^ A Quick Change ^^

Putting on my sweatshirt for a campfire and roasted marshmallows and chocolate (no graham crackers as I am gluten free :)

My brother-in-law and my sister have a beautiful cabin with a private dock. The canal is teeming with seals swimming around catching fish. The picture below shows the dock and boat. It is a picture of low tide, if you look closely you can see the water lines on the posts of the dock. At high tide, if I was standing in the water next to the dock, I would be submerged! It was interesting to see the tide roll in! The beach was filled with tiny crabs and clam shells before the tide came. My son actually cut his leg on a sharp clam shell but thankfully it only needed to be cleaned and have a small bandage applied and he was fine. He later went out in the kayak with my daughter and I could hear them laughing and having fun together. 

In the midst of all of this wonderful stuff, I actually started having a little bit of a tough time for a short while there.. because that was such a great moment seeing my kids just having a perfect brother/sister moment.. and I was finally feeling relaxed and away from all the stress of everyday life and dealing with being attacked by people, by our own government, by attitudes within my own family, etc.. That’s when things finally bubble up. I started to cry and my sister was there and I told her I was struggling a little bit at that moment. My kids have been through a lot. They missed out on vacations and a lot of other stuff over the past two years, and money is tight due to divorce costs, the settlement, medical costs, etc.. I just told her that I do feel guilty. No matter how justifiable and right my transition is, I know and fully recognize the cost my kids have had to pay for me to stop lying to the world and be who I truly am. They are amazing kids who support me and love me and deserve the best the world has to offer and instead they have to do without a lot for a time as I bear the brunt of the financial impact of my divorce, my transition, my kids medical costs, and the debt from a marriage that is over. It hurts. It is not fair to them and I am so sorry. Adding to that, they have to witness the cruelty that our current political climate directs at me, their father. THEY DESERVE BETTER. I love them so much and I will always strive to see that the world does not harm them the way it harms me. My sister, who is my strongest supporter in my immediate family, simply said.. “but they are here now.. so that is good.” 

She was right.. and it was that simple. We have weathered the storm. We are cresting the hill and turning a corner. I gathered myself back together before the kids came in and we had a lovely night. Later, we roasted marshmallows by the fire pit on their deck. Then, we did some stargazing and learned some new constellations. It was amazing. 

More tomorrow as I am already over the photo limit and you will already have to click on the last few above to even see them :)

I hope this post was not too hard for some to read. I felt it was important to share though. Until tomorrow..

-Ari

—————————————————————-

My goal in sharing my transition is to represent transgender people in the positive light that we all deserve. Re-blogs are always okay if they are for this purpose, but if you are a fetish blog or fetish website then I want nothing to do with you and you do not have my permission to use my images.

—————————————————————–

My website for Transgender Advocacy and My Transition Timeline and Pictorial: http://arianadanielle.com

My Gaming Channel on Twitch, come visit the channel and help me make affiliate by following and watching if you can when I am online! Trans representation matters and there is a growing community of trans gamers on Twitch. As stated earlier, I do plan to do more than gaming on this platform (referring to positive transgender representation). http://twitch.tv/maidenariana

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ariana_T_G

My articles on HuffPost: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/ari-104

#decade of ari #ari was in seattle #transgender #Transgender woman #trans is beautiful #transisbeautiful #girls like us #girlslikeus #Transwoman #gender transition #trans positive #trans positivity

[winnie-the-patton]

*Whispers softly* All 200

Jfc… ok lol 😂

I’m adding a “click to read more” cuz no one wants this lol. Also they’re all messed up for some reason but again i dont think anyone besides QPP is gonna read is soo whatever

200: My crush’s name is: heh im not gonna post that


199: I was born in: Illinois 


198: I am really: obnoxious lol
1

97: My cellphone company is: T-Mobile


196: My eye color is: green
195: My shoe size is: 6 1/2
194: My ring size is: no clue
193: My height is: 5'
192: I am allergic to: bees
191: My 1st car was: non existent
190: My 1st job was: running birthday parties at a local park
189: Last book you read: do fan fictions count?
188: My bed is: meh
187: My pet: BO I LOVE HIM
186: My best friend: I have several. Liz, Justin, Allison, Jayse
185: My favorite shampoo is: coconut with Shea Butter
184: Xbox or ps3: ps3 
183: Piggy banks are: cool?
182: In my pockets: a strange mixture of pennies and pounds 
181: On my calendar: Dodie Clark concert
180: Marriage is: good for some people
179: Spongebob can: DO ANYTHING HE WANTS
178: My mom: nice
177: The last three songs I bought were? “Look What You Made Me Do” “You” “Things We Used to Share"
176: Last YouTube video watched: Dil’s Bday
175: How many cousins do you have? Too many
174: Do you have any siblings? 1
173: Are your parents divorced? No
172: Are you taller than your mom? No
171: Do you play an instrument? Yes, ukulele and piano
170: What did you do yesterday? Went to a carnival. Slept.

[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: sure
168: Luck: sure
167: Fate: sure
166: Yourself: not at all
165: Aliens: definitely
164: Heaven: eh
163: Hell: eh
162: God: eh
161: Horoscopes: lol sometimes kinda
160: Soul mates: definitely
159: Ghosts: eh
158: Gay Marriage: of course???
157: War: no
156: Orbs: …I don’t know what this means?
155: Magic: sure :)

[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: Depends on the person
153: Drunk or High: Depends on the night 😂 (but usually high)
152: Phone or Online: online
151: Red heads or Black haired: no preference
150: Blondes or Brunettes: no preference
149: Hot or cold: cold
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: spring 
146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate 
145: Night or Day: day
144: Oranges or Apples: neither
143: Curly or Straight hair: curly
142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate
140: Mac or PC: Mac
139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and sweet… aren’t opposites? How about nice and rich? And I don’t care about looks
137: Coke or Pepsi: Diet Pepsi 
136: Hillary or Obama: Obama
135: Burried or cremated: Buried
134: Singing or Dancing: Singing
133: Coach or Chanel: No preference
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: don’t know what these are
131: Small town or Big city: big city
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: ben stiller 
128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure
127: East Coast or West Coast: west coats
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas
125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers
124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney!
123: Yankees or Red Sox: Red Sox

[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: bad and ineffective
121: George Bush: bad, stupid
120: Gay Marriage: it’s just… the right thing? Like idk? People should be allowed to love and marry whoever they want? That’s basic human rights?
119: The presidential election: TERRIFYING. HORRENDOUS. WHY.
118: Abortion: While I could never do it and I have moral issues with it, I believe it’s the woman’s choice what she does with her body. 
117: MySpace: don’t remember it
116: Reality TV: stupid but fun
115: Parents: frustrating, confusing, but they try…
114: Back stabbers: unforgivable. Damaging.
113: Ebay: sketchy but fun
112: Facebook: love it
111: Work: exhausting, but I do love my job
110: My Neighbors: lovely
109: Gas Prices: apparently too high?
108: Designer Clothes: ridiculous. I can buy your $80 shirt and Walmart for $5
107: College: expensive. Stressful.
106: Sports: like playing them, not watching them
105: My family: complicated. Confusing. Stressful. Trying their best?
104: The future: fucking terrifying

[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: ….I actually don’t remember. Maybe a few weeks ago? Fuck…
102: Last time you ate: an hour ago
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: a week ago
100: Cried in front of someone: no clue, few months ago?
99: Went to a movie theater: week ago
98: Took a vacation: a year ago
97: Swam in a pool: two months ago
96: Changed a diaper: HA a month ago
95: Got my nails done: 2 years ago?
94: Went to a wedding: I don’t remember 
93: Broke a bone: like 15 years ago
92: Got a peircing: never
91: Broke the law: a month ago
90: Texted: an hour ago

[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: Allison
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my sister and my dog
87: The last movie I saw: Mother!
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: going to Disneyworld in France
85: The thing im not looking forward to: getting up early to go to the doctor
84: People call me: magz
83: The most difficult thing to do is: exist
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: Capricorn 
80: The first person i talked to today was: my uber driver
79: First time you had a crush: ever? Like, preschool. Real crush? When I was like 8.
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Justin and Jayse.
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: like 2 days ago
76: Right now I am talking to: Beth
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hell if I know 
74: I have/will get a job: will. Had to leave my summer job when I moved.
73: Tomorrow: go to the doctor, visit friend, fix computer?
72: Today: apparently sleep and fail to go to the dr
71: Next Summer: *shrugs*
70: Next Weekend: uhhh
69: I have these pets: Bo!
68: The worst sound in the world: scratching nails on holographic material
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: idk
66: People that make you happy: Liz, Allison, Justin
65: Last time I cried: about an hour ago
64: My friends are: amazing 
63: My computer is: BROKEN
62: My School: awesome
61: My Car: don’t have one
60: I lose all respect for people who: voted for trump
59: The movie I cried at was: a lot of them lol 
58: Your hair color is: dark brown and blonde
57: TV shows you watch: Kimmy Schmidt, sometimes AHS, 
56: Favorite web site: tumblr
55: Your dream vacation: London
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: honestly rn is pretty close
53: How do you like your steak cooked: well done
52: My room is: messy
51: My favorite celebrity is: Thomas sanders
50: Where would you like to be: home
49: Do you want children: yes
48: Ever been in love: idk
47: Who’s your best friend: I have many
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: having my hair played with
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: a fucking doctor
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: kinda
41: Have you pre-named your children: yes
40: Last person I got mad at: probably my parents
39: I would like to move to: I like it here
38: I wish I was a professional: singer

[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: buncha crunch 
36: Vehicle: boat
35: President: Obama
34: State visited: California 
33: Cellphone provider: T-Mobile I guess
32: Athlete: my sis
31: Actor: Thomas Sanders
30: Actress: Phillipa Soo
29: Singer: Lorde
28: Band: 21 Pilots
27: Clothing store: hot topic
26: Grocery store: priscos
25: TV show: Kimmy Schmidt
24: Movie: Singin’ in the Rain
23: Website: Tumblr
22: Animal: Koala
21: Theme park: Disney World
20: Holiday: Halloween
19: Sport to watch: I dont 
18: Sport to play: badminton
17: Magazine: no
16: Book: Aristotle and Dante
15: Day of the week: Friday 
14: Beach: the one with sand
13: Concert attended: 21 Pilots
12: Thing to cook: Alfredo
11: Food: Cookies
10: Restaurant: Luigis
9: Radio station: 101.9
8: Yankee candle scent: wood drift beach
7: Perfume: mango vanilla
6: Flower: daffodils
5: Color: dusty rose pink
4: Talk show host: jimmy Fallon
3: Comedian: jerry Seinfeld?
2: Dog breed: pug or a cavachon
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yeah