#i can't stop thinking about Rae

[variousqueerthings]

I’m reading Persistance: All Ways Butch And Femme and lemme tell you it’s doing wonders for everything -- feelings about gender, politics, language, relationships 

every time I think I’ve come at some unknowable concept about myself that nobody could possibly understand and I’m totally alone (or at the very least I’m something new and fragile), reading about other queers makes me understand that actually it’s existed possibly forever and I can calm tf down and stop being so angsty, it’s not fragile at all, it’s years of others living these things into reality!

anyway, us lonelies under 30 (and over 30 too quite probably) who think we’ve reinvented the wheel and nobody could possibly get it, we need to read this sort of stuff to get out of our own heads and to respect where we came from and maybe all the fucking discourse can chill out and we won’t be so afraid of changes and concepts that already exist and have done for a lot of years!

#persistance: all ways butch and femme #queer stuff #queer theory #queer lit #lesbian lit #me like: im overcomplicating it ive gone too far im a fraud #a dyke who came of-age in the 60s: anyway these fag genderqueers i met in the 90s love em couldnt do without em great stuff #also rae spoon i owe you everything #and this discussion i just read in it i need to get their names #about femme through the eyes of masculinity STOP IVE BEEN FEELING THAT WAY (dont stop ofc) #and the new spectrum bit???? wtfwtfwtf i feel like im being inundated with The Lore and im some starry eyed apprentice #whenever i forget i can be like -- is my icon a claude cahun homage for NOTHING?! #it's about context building! it's about history! it's about thinking those threads were spindly but they're strong as anchors or smthin #fuckit im just amazed i cannot properly articulate how amazed i am #ALSO look im not a lesbian/i never came to transness through lesbianism like a lot of my peers (only briefly and it amounted to one bar) #my point being that if you think you can't relate to that title because you think you didn't get to experience that lens #1. read the lesbians generally because they're good for you #2. trust me this book opens some fucking doors (doors I'd been worried were me going too far/werent allowed) #recommend this to all the queers and non-queers alike boys and girls and people who think they're unfathomable #you will be uh... fathomed... as it were #(or not but it's still vital)

[mahikamihan]

Honestly, tina saying she struggles to reconnect with her korean heritage hits something in me. I think about it often because wow.

#Munimuni #Tina my beloved #Tinakitten #And not just tina! #Rae also mentions it sometimes too #I just thought about it randomly today and now i can't stop thinking abt it

[the-likesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

This is my 5th Buddie Rec List! I started compiling this list last April and omg looking back through them now I desperately need to reread them all. Highly recommend all of these fics, also please show the authors some love in their comments xx Happy Easter lovelies <3 REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending | T | 6k

After the lightning strike, Buck asks Eddie to take candid photos of him to help prove to Buck that he still exists. Absolute PEAK Softness. Buck through Eddie's eyes! I was a mushy puddle by the end. 10/10 would recommend. 

i got all my sisters with me by @useramor | T | 6k

Established relationship Buddie. Eddie’s sister has a baby and they travel down to Texas to meet the baby. DIAZ SIBLINGS UNITE! Seriously though the sibling dynamic in this is off the charts and Buck and Eddie are sickeningly in love, it is quite beautiful.

meet me where the tide comes in by @iinryer | G | 4k

A 3+1 fic about Eddie getting kissed on the head. FOREHEAD KISSES PTSD MORE HEAD KISSES AND BOYS IN LOVE!! Need I say anything more??

The one where Buck gets turned into a dog by @911onabc | G | 9k

Law Suit era BUT WAIT WAIT….DOG BUCK!! I am a sucker for fic where one of them gets turned into an animal. They are much more free with their affection when they think it's just a dog, or just a cat, and the bond between Eddie and "Boy" is so so wonderful. And I do love a happy ending xx

can't do this anymore (do it anyway) by @chronicowboy | T | 2k

Short and sweet but GOD this packs a punch. Eddie starts dating after the lightning strike and Buck is feeling Big Bad about it. He is so sad it truly breaks my heart but all works itself out in the end and Eddie proves Buck’s fears wrong.

We Found Each Other (Over There)  by @thekristen999 | T | 46k

Buddie WWII AU. A combat medic and a G.I. meet during one of the world’s greatest battles. This fic is a legitimate masterpiece. I cannot describe to you the quality of this fic because it is beyond words but I will tell you I stayed up until 3:30 am to finish it in one sitting and was left broken but made so so whole again. 

the mortifying ordeal of being known by @the-amber-raven | G | 60k

AU where Bobby is Buck’s adoptive Dad and Eddie is dating Buck but Eddie and Bobby think they are talking about two different people. Buck is training at the fire academy but hiding it from Bobby. This fic is the most beautiful tangle of miscommunication, love and family. 

like all good things are by @try-set-me-on-fire | T | 7k

Perfect, amazing, soul-destroying, magical, healing Fic. This literally covers all the bases. Chim and Bobby both get injured. OH! and Buck and Eddie were secretly dating all along. READ THIS FIC PEEPS!

find a way to you (if it kills me) by @eddiediazes  | M | 19k

The one where Eddie decides to start dating again, Buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief. BUCK PINING LV.10000000!

and i’d choose you (in a hundred lifetimes) by @monsterrae1 | E | 16k

Amnesia Exes fic by the wonderful Rae. Buck and Eddie fall in love via a penpal program and then Buck vanishes. This fic is set four years later. I literally could not put it down. I was reading it in class and then sat in my car for who knows how long just to finish it because I could not continue my day without knowing how it ended.

he never thinks of me (except when i'm on TV) by @loserdiaz | M | 18k 

APRIL'S FAMOUS!BUCK AND ARMY!EDDIE FIC!! In which Eddie finds out years later that his unrequited feelings for his high school best friend were not actually unrequited, Buck is stupidly famous now and they pine. OH THEY PINNNEEEEE! It’s delicious. 

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by @chronicowboy | M | 21k 

Alternative S7, Buddie Divorce Era Pt.2. Buck does something reckless and Eddie gets angry about it but these boys cannot communicate effectively to save their lives! This fic is peak angst to a happy ending and I felt like I had a hole in my chest OMG.

left your mark on this heart by @chronicowboy | G | 5k

Buck gets medically diagnosed with butterflies and the doctor makes him write in a notebook every time it happens. Surprise, surprise, the cause and effect is Eddie-related. The notebook entries kill me in the best way, the happiest happy ending

ALSO, YES THIS IS THE THIRD FIC BY THE SAME AUTHOR ON THIS LIST WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?? READ IT IS WHAT! COS THEY'RE SO DAMN GOOD. 

endless numbered days by @cal-daisies-and-briars | G | 13k 

Buck and Eddie's wedding but from Bobby's POV as Bobby reflects on the family he lost and the one he gained. Absolutely beautiful, I cried.

don’t wanna let you love somebody else but me by @shitouttabuck | T | 14k

Chris wants dating advice so obviously Buck and Eddie decide to Fake Date for research purposes. This fic is PEAK adorable, sappy, and awkward Buddie. They’re idiots but we love them and the certainly love each other. READ THIS FIC! 

#buddie #buddie fic recs #buddie fic rec list 5 #buck x eddie #eddie diaz #evan 'buck' buckley #911 #911 fic recs #meegs rec list

[strongheartneteyam]

Not the type of girl for you.

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x human!nurse!female!reader

CW: a bit of angst but mostly fluff, wounded neteyam, mentions of blood (nothing graphic but reader is a nurse, right?), friends to lovers, kissing, physical contact, cute neteyam, sexual tension, hurt/comfort, anxious reader, reader thinks neteyam won’t ever have romantic feelings for her because she’s human, love confessions, neteyam flirting with reader

Another one of my works that had been forgotten for ages on my Google Docs and i’m now reviving this pookie and posting it for you guys to see lol comments and reblogs will make me feel so loved and supported! I love you guys so much 💓🌿

na'vi words: sevin tawtute (pretty human), syulang (flower)

Slightly proofread.

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I love you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you

I didn't mean to say what I said

I miss you, I mean it, I tried not to feel it

I can't get you out of my head

I'm not the type of girl for you

And I'm not going to pretend

That I'm the type of girl you'd call more than a friend

Your Type (Carly Rae Jepsen)

⋆°⋆ ͟͟͞͞➳❥

“Look, if I don’t tell you this now I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to, so… Here it goes…” You said as you wrapped a bandage around Neteyam’s wound after you had cleaned it the best you could but there was still a bit of blood in it. It was natural, though. "I..." You sighed nervously "I like you. I'm sorry..." 

You finished tending to his wound and left the bandage at the cold metal table right next to where Neteyam was sitting down while you took care of the wounded areas in his body.

Neteyam looked at you, confused and surprised. He didn't expect to hear those words... at all. He always thought you only saw him as a friend.

"I know nothing will ever happen between us, Teyam, and I don't expect you to answer. Honestly, you can just walk out of here or ask someone else to care for your wounds. I understand if you don't ever wanna see me again. I don't want you to think of me as clingy or that I'm trying to force something because I..." Neteyam watched you non-stop while you were word vomiting "I'm not. I swear. I'm sorry... I made everything awkward. Now we can't be friends anymore. Well, you're all set. Your wounds are taken care of. Hope you heal fast. Gotta go. Bye."

You started to walk fast so you could run away from that uncomfortable situation you thought you had brought upon the both of you but Neteyam quickly got up from the medical chair made specially for the na'vi, bigger than a regular human one, and he ran to you, his long, toned legs helping him, as he only needed like four steps to get where you were, way fewer than a human guy would need.

"(Y/n), wait!" Neteyam exclaimed. You couldn't believe he was talking to you and not to tell you to never speak to him again and that he would never like a human - a demon - girl.

"Can we... talk about what you just said? It's an important piece of information." Neteyam chuckled and then gave you a big, warm smile.

That was so like him. Caring so much about others, trying to make everyone feel comfortable and at ease. That's one of the key things that made you fall in love with him. How beautiful he was on the inside too. If you forget his transcendental na'vi beauty, he would still be so, so beautiful because of how altruistic, kind and brave he was. You felt your heart ache inside your chest. You knew how much you loved Neteyam and how you'd probably love him forever. But you also knew he could never fall in love with a human girl. He wasn't fond of humans. He took after his mother, Neytiri. And you didn't blame him. You weren't that fond of your own race either.

“Can you tell me why you think I wouldn’t like you back?” Neteyam chuckled softly and smiled, his sharp fangs almost making you faint of captivation

Why did he have to be so freaking magnetic? Neteyam made it insanely hard for you not to have all those feelings for him.

“Well, for one, I am human…?” You pointed out, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion

"(y/n), you're not just any human. You understand and respect my Planet and the na'vi ways, you work helping heal our kids and warriors and I think I sense some love for Eywa in you. Being human is not a reason for me not to like you." He smiled, reassuring you "I've actually had a crush on you for... some months now." He confessed as his tail moved from side to side, making his joy apparent

Wait, hold on... what? Did Neteyam just say he had a crush on you? You definitely were not expecting that.

“What did you just say?” Your eyebrows were still furrowed as you chuckled, unbelieving

“I said I like you too, sevin tawtute.” Neteyam smiled and got closer to you, pulling you in, bringing you dangerously close to his strong but soft body

Suddenly, Neteyam put his big hands under your arms and lift you in the air and you feared falling so, before you knew it, you were wrapping your legs around his waist.

His smile grew wider and he said “I’m gonna start courting you now. Do you even realize how pretty you look in your nurse uniform?” His flirting made your heart skip a beat and your legs felt weak. Good thing he was holding you in his arms.

Oh my God… Neteyam was actually holding you in his arms and he said he liked you back and that he was gonna start courting you… That didn’t sound real. You started to wonder if you were dreaming about him again. It used to happen fairly often. You were soon awakened from your thoughts by a sultry masculine voice.

“Syulang?” Neteyam called, realizing you seemed to be somewhere else, and you smiled at him when you understood that it was not a dream but actually reality. Neteyam smiled back. “You get so distracted sometimes." He chuckled "So cute.” Neteyam kissed you softly and quickly, leaving no time for you to even see it was coming before his lips were pressing tenderly against yours. His kiss felt sweet and caring, like you were precious to him. His lips tasted like Paradise and that's exactly where you felt you currently were.

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Taglist:

@yeosxxx

#neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam fluff #neteyam angst #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x human #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x female human reader #neteyam x f!reader #neteyam x female reader #neteyam sully angst #neteyam sully x human reader #neteyam sully x female reader #neteyam sully x y/n #neteyam sully x you #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #na'vi x human reader #na'vi x y/n #na'vi x human #na'vi x reader #✎ victória writes ▢✧࿐

[rae-pss]

Hello again rae! So I just saw that you read my ask about my think in chap 5 in whb. And I am so happy we have thing in common so here I give you some another imagine of whb self aware idea for you. Since I think about it long enough and want to share it with you. ( Just take you time to have a idea to writing about this content , I will be waiting 😄 ).

Just imagine that we ( the reader ) found out a way to control the mc in a short or long moment or talk through the mc body.

- Everytime sitri call the mc (Ra-on) solomon ( own sexy pewpaw , I can't lie the fact that he so beautiful , no wonder god like him ). the reader will be like ' I will find a way to control the mc to make them ignore him or make him cry on his knee to apologize and call out the MC's name correctly '.

- everytime the seraphim attack the hell or even talk nonsense about kill the mc or enything about god the reader will be like ' no wonder why god leave you all , because you all are so annoying and dumb '.

- ( Like I say in another ask about bully leviathan ) in his H-scent , the moment he talk shit about minhyeok and say human are weak then the reader like ' fuck this , I will teach you lesson ' control the Mc body and then dominant him back like choke him by the whip he give them and then choke him hard until he almost faint then I will stop. And no is not done yet. Is the mc not dominant the hell out of him then the reader will do it , until he beg for more and I will stop and get out of there leave him like that as a pay back. ( cockblock him make him so close to cum and then leave him like that ).

And that all what I want to say. And feel free to use my imagine is one of it make you have a idea to write , I even happy is you do ☺️😄🤔

masterlist

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . shout out to the inspiration i suddenly got to do sitri and levi' parts. i hope you like it, dear anon (<3). ˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . lowercase intended, 944 words, first it's sitri, then gabriel, and lastly leaviathan. mentions of the word cock and choking (character receiving) in levi's part since it has a little smut (?).

how you achieved that was something that not even you could understand. was there even a way to do it? well, the existential questions could wait for another time, now you had to take advantage of every damn second that fate had given you.

you couldn't waste this opportunity to talk to your beloved characters.

the walk seemed very normal for the blue-stranded demon, one more of the many that sitri had taken with his beloved solomon since his recent return. how much he missed those moments of quiet peace when it was just him, solomon, and their precious heartbeat.

—how are you feeling, sol-?

the demon didn't even have time before one hand grabbed the black cravat (handkerchief) of his shirt and then pulled with force, thus making his eyes come face to face with solomon's. and, once again gaining on him in time, they spoke loud and clear.

—call me by that dead man's name one more time and you'll end up crying on a street corner, ignored by me until the day I decide to forgive your sorry ass.

their eyes seemed to shine with a unique intensity. it was certainly similar to how satan's eyes did when someone alluded to his lack of height; however, something about them appeared different. it wasn't the usual way their irises looked, now they felt more… more alive.

regardless, a few seconds later their hand left his garment as quickly as they had first grabbed it. their expression showed some stupor, but sitri decided to disregard it for the moment. maybe the influence of his king was harming his beloved sol- his beloved ra-on.

no one could say exactly how many times they had already met, nor was it so crucial to know the number. not when, once again, the Seraph was flying over a devastated and decaying gehenna, looking down from the sky at the destruction he and his angels had brought to the kingdom of wrath.

despite the initial pleasure that such sights brought him, his smile was erased from his pale face when his eyes fell on the figure of a certain human.

"that damn descendant of that dead man..."

with his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw already clenched, gabriel pointed the blade of his scythe at them.

—how annoying it's... you foolish human being still alive.

and, as usually happened in each of his meetings, not very pleasant ones to whoever had to listen to the white-haired angel, he began to talk and talk about his love for god, about how everyone who wasn’t in heaven were beings unworthy of being alive, of how god will return, of how he should kill them in an instant... in general, he began his long monologue with himself out loud.

—no wonder why god left you all, i mean, you’re so annoying.

that was as if a drop of water had fallen on his head. some words that he never expected to hear from that human's lips. a simple phrase that awakened every desire to end their pathetic existence once and for all.

—you, insolent child!

he could say little more when, as usually happened, the demons made an appearance and the battle started once more.

the day he had them in his hands... that day gabriel would make them pay for having dared to say such things, about him and his dear god.

this was new. it was the first time in his long existence as king that someone had left him in such a miserable state without even hesitating twice. so renewed was it that, even there leviathan was still lying on the ground with his right hand on his neck, caressing the irritated skin, and his cock standing proud waiting for any release.

not long ago he was with that descendant of solomon, that peculiar human, helping them with the dose of demonic essence they so much needed to stay alive down there. although, he thought he’d give it to them in his way.

what he never expected from such an excuse of a being was that they’d use his tactics against him so naturally.

it was the exact moment in which their gaze became more intense, their fist tightened the handle of the whip and, with a sigh escaping past their lips, they took a few assertive steps forward until, without even thinking about it, they wrapped the rope around his neck. and tightened the material.

seconds were what leviathan needed to notice how the air disappeared agonizingly from his lungs, how the little oxygen in him vanished after the oppression of the whip around his neck.

—don't think you can go around saying those things like it's nothing.

the human commented fiercely, letting themselves sit comfortably on his lap without any problem. the force they used on the object increased and decreased depending on how blue they noticed his face. yet, some other color also dared to be seen on his cheeks.

—this excites you, doesn't it? 

they spat hatefully, squeezing the ends of the whip harder, they let the demon beneath their body writhe in a mixture of the most lascivious of pleasures and the most tortuous of agonies. all of this would have been better if they hadn't noticed his hardened member twitching underneath their crotch.

—pathetic that you get so eager when being choked... as pathetic as only you could be.

from there, everything became a blurry memory for him. a memory blinded by the balance of passion and pain that ended once they had their fair fun with him. to then, leave him there on the floor like the waste they remarked him he was.

#— thoughts. #— what in “hell” is bad? #— answered. #what in “hell” is bad? #what in hell is bad #whb #whb x reader #what in hell is bad x reader #whb sitri #sitri x reader #sitri what in hell is bad #sitri whb #what in hell is bad sitri #leviathan x reader #leviathan what in hell is bad #leviathan whb #whb leviathan #what in hell is bad leviathan #leviathan smut #whb x y/n #whb x you #whb x mc #leviathan x y/n #leviathan x you #gabriel whb #gabriel what in hell is bad #whb gabriel #gabriel x reader #what in hell is bad x mc #what in hell is bad gabriel

[fritz-federleicht]

Reader being flirting with all of their friends and then they meet corpse for the first time playing among us and typically they would flirt but they can barely say hi after hearing his voice and whole group is messing with them about why they couldn’t talk like normal and then a time skip of corpse openly flirting with them on Twitter and reader flirting back

Speechless/ Corpse Husband x reader

Words: 651

FLUFF

-------------------------------------------------------

"Guys guys, today we are playing among us again." You say happily to the chat. You open the game and wait for the others. Ludwig appears next to you.

"That's right Y/N. We are playing among us again today." Ludwig's voice can be heard.

"Oh yes we are. Hey guys." You greet your fellow players. "Nice to hear from you again. Especially from you Ludwig. I missed you so much."

"Y/N, stop it, I'm blushing." Ludwig replies sheepishly. When Rae appears next to you, you run up to her and circle her.

"Hey Rae." "Hey Y/N." "By the way, you look beautiful again today." Are you complimenting Rae. "Thanks Y/N. I didn't change anything about my character though. But thank you." Responds Rae.

"You know, my dear, it's because you always look beautiful. Whether in real life or in the game." You flirt with Rae.

"Oh Y/N oh Y/N. Charming as always." Rae's laugh rings out.

"Okay. Enough fooling around. Everyone's here. Let's get started." Sykkuno ends your conversation.

In the first round, you are not an Impostor. However, Rae is killed first. When the first meeting starts and you read that she was killed, you immediately ask who killed her. You read through the list of names to pick a victim to blame when you read an unfamiliar name.

"Who's Corpse? I'll just say hello." "Oh, hey. That's me. Nice to meet you." His deep voice sounds.

It's quiet for a moment. You sit there, unable to say anything. His deep voice has left you speechless.

"Hello?" Corpse asks. "Yes. Nice to meet you." You answer shyly.

Ludwig starts to laugh. "Corpse, you actually managed to make Y/N speechless. No one has ever done that before."

"Really Corpse. Consider yourself lucky." Says Poki.

You just sit there. With reddened cheeks and listen to the conversation.

Sykkuno chimes in. "Y/N just so you know. Corpse is mine." You just nod. You realize that no one sees it, but you can't answer at the moment.

Corpse laughs at Sykkuno's words. When you hear his laugh, your eyes grow wide. You look down at your table.

"We have to vote for someone else. Did someone see anything suspicious?" Ludwig asks, still amused.

The rest of the rounds you hardly say anything.

When you open your Twitter the next day, you see that Corpse has mentioned you in a tweet.

You click on the notification. Immediately the tweet opens.

Corpse Husband: @Y/N I hope you can speak again. Found your reaction really cute

You stare at your phone, blushing slightly as you think of his voice again. You type a response.

Y/N: @Corpse Husband thank you for caring about me. To answer your question yes I can speak again. Yours just blew me away. I just say really hot

Suddenly Ludwig interferes.

LUDWIG: @Y/N discuss this with @Corpse Husband privately. Or do you want @Sykkuno to overhear and kill you? Oops... now I linked him by mistake

Y/N: @ludwig I can stand up to Sykkuno. For my future husband I do everything

Corpse Husband: Ok. We are that far @Y/N?

Sykkuno: Hey! @Y/N! Corpse is mine

Sykkuno: But seriously Y/N. You should date Corpse. You guys would be really good together. He's always trying to be mean but he's actually a teddy bear

Rae: @Sykkuno is right. Corpse is a really good guy

Y/N: I would have no problem with that. We can also get married right away

Corpse Husband: @Y/N shall we?

As soon as you read this you know you have to meet him. You decide to ask Sykkuno for Corpse's number.

A short time later you meet. You hit it off right away and get together a short time later.

#corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse x reader #corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband one shot

[gotouhitori]

Okay, so. I'm in Love with the Villainess. Watashi no Oshi wa Akuyaku Reijou. WataOshi. Whichever title you want to refer to it by.

Before reading or watching it, I wondered why the hell people were holding up this random villainess isekai light novel with an over-the-top masochist main character as a landmark yuri title. Okay sure I don't doubt there's yuri going on, but how can it be so special?

Then I watched the anime. "Huh. The series and its main character are clearly and unambiguously lesbian in a way that so many other series can't bring themselves to be. And it has the most frank discussion of queer issues I think I've ever seen in anime or related media. Yeah, I think I see now, it is a cut above." And both because I've heard the novels get into a few things a little more and because the series now has its hooks in me enough for me to want to read the novels anyway, I read the first novel. And yeah, that does add a bit.

And then I read the second novel. The latter bit of the anime does cover the first bit of the second novel, but it's mostly new territory for an anime-only or anime-first such as myself. And holy fucking shit. Spoilers under the cut.

For one thing, the anime/first novel dropped some trans hints about Yu, and that turns out to be a whole transfem allegory - which isn't unheard of by any means, but it's not especially common in a work where that isn't the main focus. And not only that, but there's an actually explicitly textual transmasc in Rae's past life, who forms part of Rae's motivation to make considerable effort and take considerable risk (up to and including treason) to make sure Yu can live as a girl - once Yu states that is what she wants, it is important to note. Random yuri villainess isekai light novel says trans rights, and will absolutely stand by it.

And then all of the stuff about class and inequality comes to a head, and remember how the game that Rae's in the world of is titled "Revolution"? Yeah. One of those happens. Various hints have been dropped about what happens, largely centred on Rae making efforts to save Claire's neck in the most literal way possible when things really go down. But holy shit does that turn out to be more effort and a much more complex endeavour than it appears at first... or for most of the time while it's going on, for that matter. Ultimately she arranges things so that while the revolution still happens (it is basically inevitable), overall loss of life and suffering is minimised, and the general situation is as good as it possibly could be. By the time the proverbial smoke clears, Rae and Claire are openly living as a couple, which is a lot more than you usually see - one of the things Rae comments on is how in per previous life, too much of the yuri she read ended with at least one of the girls either dead or winding up with a man, which annoyed her enough to write fanfic based on series she likes with unsatisfying endings to fix that. And though the game did have a yuri spinoff, the original - the events of which she was living through and manipulating - was het. The character she winds up with was never supposed to be a romanceable character to begin with.

And that's just the first two of the five novels. Living through and changing the course of an actual revolution and settling down with her partner is just 40% of the whole story. (And less if more novels get published.) I've just started the third novel, and it's certainly looking like the rest is going to be at least as much of a ride as the first two were.

This really is an outstanding series. It's Dungeon Meshi levels of "I cannot stop thinking about it" to me, which if you've seen how much I post about that, says a lot. And I haven't read even half of it yet.

#i'm in love with the villainess #watashi no oshi wa akuyaku reijou #wataoshi #yuri #trans rights #lesbianism #lgbtqia

[trickphotography2]

'tis the damn season | Chapter 4

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Julie/Cece (OC, no physical description)

Word count: 6.5K

Synopsis: After six years away from home, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin was finally going to make his parents happy and surprise his family by spending Christmas in Magnolia, Texas. Introducing his pregnant fiancee to his family is a culture clash, with rural Texas meeting California influencer. Though unhappy in his relationship, Jake knows he has to buckle down and do the right thing with a baby on the way.

The last person he expected to run into was his high school sweetheart and the one that got away, Julie.

The holidays are already going to be hard enough for Julie. Her home baking business, which had started as a fun side project, exploded after a few TikToks went viral. Just when she was getting the hang of juggling her job and business, tragedy struck. Facing her first Christmas as an orphan, the last thing Julie expected was to hear that once familiar nickname - Cece.

After almost a decade apart, Jake and Julie can't help but feel that old familiar spark. Even with the realities of their lives pressing in, they can't help but wonder what might have happened if just one of them had fought for their relationship all those years ago.

Chapter 3 | Master List | Ao3

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Chapter 4

A benefit of military training was that Jake could now fall asleep anywhere and under almost any circumstances. After months on a carrier listening to hops overhead, shaking his bed, collapsing into a steady twin-sized mattress wasn’t an issue. 

When he closed his eyes, he could only see Cece’s shocked expression after they’d kissed. But when he drifted off, he dreamed about holding her, pressing kisses to the nape of her neck as she decorated her cakes before lifting her onto the counter and standing between her knees. The unhurried kisses they’d share as she ran her fingers through his hair the way no one else seemed to be able to do. Her soft mo -  

“What are you doing?!” 

Jake bolted upright at the sound of raised voices, feet hitting the floor before he was fully awake. Not pausing to grab his shirt, he ran from the bedroom and flew down the steps, jumping the last few as Ally yelled again.

“You inconsiderate b - ”

“Inconsiderate?! I’m helping!” Standing in the doorway to the kitchen, Jake stared wide-eyed at the scene before him. 

“You’re ruining it!” The back door swung open as Mama stomped to clear the snow from her boots.

“What’s going on here?” she demanded. Cool hands brushed Jake’s bare skin, and he glanced down to see Cece trying to get past him. 

“What…” her exhausted voice cracked, taking in the scene before them.

The counter was littered with crumbs. Bowls of ganache and buttercream had knives resting on the rims. The macaron shells that Jake matched were scattered about, some with filling that spilled past the rims of the small cookies. A few cupcakes Cece had carefully decorated and boxed were sitting back on the cooling racks, icing swiped from the sides. 

And, standing there with flour artfully brushed on her cheeks with her phone set up on Cece’s tripod was Shayla. A red-faced Ally glared daggers at her from across the counter, one hand resting on her stomach while the other clenched into a tight fist. “You need the get the fuck out of here RIGHT NOW,” Ally snarled, “before I knock you on your ass, you selfish - ”

“Allison Rae Seresin,” Mama snapped, toeing off her boots and stepping inside. Her eyes quickly surveyed the damage, widening the more she took in. 

“Jake, you’re going to let her talk to me like that,” Shayla demanded, planting her hands on her hips. It took a minute for him to realize that she was wearing Cece’s discarded apron. 

“What were you thinking, Shayla?” he asked, attempting to keep his voice steady but unable to stop the anger from creeping in. His eyes darted to Cece, who stood silently beside him, a shaking hand pressed to her mouth. Shay’s gaze shifted from him to her, and he could have sworn something flashed in his fiancée’s eyes.

“I was just trying to help. I know you and Jake were up all night, and I’m going to tag you in the video so you’ll get plenty of viewers from it.”

“Y-you…I…” Cece stuttered before pressing her lips into a thin line. Jake could see the gleam of tears in her tired eyes and felt his heart break. But when he reached to touch her shoulder, she jerked away from him. The anger faded from Ally’s face as she turned to Cece. 

“I’m sure we can salvage some of it,” she said. Shaking her head, Cece forced a smile onto her wobbling lips.

“I-it’s fine. I can fix it. I…I just need to go to the store.” 

“Shayla will pay for the damages,” Mama said, glancing at the woman in question. When she opened her mouth to say something, Jake cut her off.

“Of course. I’ll go with you - ”

“No.” The word was loud in the near-silent kitchen, but Cece wouldn’t meet his gaze. 

“I’ll go,” Ally said, glancing at her watch. “I don’t have any appointments this morning, so I can help out - ” 

“No.” It was softer this time but just as firm. 

“Julie - ” Mama said softly, walking toward the trembling woman who took a step back. Her shoulder brushed Jake’s chest, but she took another quick step away when he reached to steady her. 

“Please don’t. I-I need to go. The ganache needs at least two hours to set b-before I can use it.” Without another word, she turned on her heel and brushed past him, working hard not to touch him before darting upstairs. 

“You fix this,” Mama ordered, hard eyes meeting his before following Cece upstairs.

“Get out of the kitchen,” Ally demanded.

“You can’t - ”

“In case you didn’t catch on,” she cut her off. “This is my family’s house. This is my future house. And just because my brother-in-law had the misfortune of knocking you up and putting that gaudy ring on your finger before any sense was knocked into his thick skull doesn’t give you any right to stand here until your last name is Seresin. So get. Out.”

“Jakey!” He scrubbed a hand down his face, turning to watch Cece barrel down the stairs and out the front door. 

The grocery store parking lot was empty when Julie parked in a spot closest to the door - it wouldn’t open for another fifteen minutes. With a sigh, she leaned the seat back and stared up at the car ceiling, willing away the tears that pricked her eyes. 

She was so tired. And hurt. And mad at herself. 

The idea of going back to the Seresin house - one of her safe havens - made her stomach twist with guilt and dread. A small part of her wanted to call Lucy to see if she could use her kitchen. Still, the rational part of her knew it would be a huge imposition to ask her best friend to give up her kitchen with two little ones running around, and she would never get the work done.

But working with Jake again couldn’t happen. Julie had let her guard down last night, lost in the nostalgia of spending time with the boy she’d loved and learning about the man he’d become. It had been too easy to slip back into the familiar, trading long-forgotten inside jokes and teasing one another. His warm laugh had kept her going, and she’d even trusted him enough to watch over things and take a short power nap on the couch. She’d been too comfortable with the casual touches they’d traded, his hands on her hips to gently move her out of the way to wash his hands or how his fingers had curled around hers when they high-fived when the macarons finally came out right. 

And when they’d kissed… it had felt like finally coming home. Like stepping into a hot shower after a long day, letting the warmth wrap around you and ease all of the tension from your body.

“Baby, I missed you.” 

Those words echoed through her head, bruising her heart. 

There were few things that Julie regretted in life, and leaving Jake in Virginia wasn’t one of them. For the first time, she had put herself first. She’d stood up for herself when he kept lying to her face. Julie needed time to figure out who she was when she wasn’t waiting for Jake Seresin to accomplish his goals. 

What she did regret, though, was ignoring his text message after running into him seven years ago. 

It had been a shock to see him two years after breaking off their engagement and moving back to Austin. Ally had texted her to ask for bar recommendations since she and Will were going to the Texas versus A&M rivalry game, and she’d given her favorite local spot. After spending hours in the sun, screaming for her team to kick the Aggie’s ass, she and her girlfriends had retreated to their watering hole to celebrate their win. The last thing she had expected was to see her ex-fiancé standing at the bar, the black Longhorn hat she’d bought him years before on his head as he ordered a beer. When his green eyes had lifted to find hers across the crowded room, she’d been pinned to the spot. 

The night had ended with them sneaking away from the group and fumbling with the bar bathroom door lock, unwilling to stop kissing long enough to secure it. She could taste beer and longing on his tongue, and she let herself get lost in the feeling of him and the nostalgia of the Spring Break nights that had ended just like this. Once the lock clicked into place, he backed her against the walls, his hands sliding under her burnt orange skirt as he mouthed at her breasts through her white t-shirt. Guiding her legs around his waist, he’d lifted her, pressing her against the wall while tugging her panties to the side. 

“I missed you,” he panted against her neck as he slid home. 

A month later found Julie in her apartment bathroom, staring at the pregnancy test on the sink. Jake had texted her a few times, and they’d even spent one night talking into the early hours. Still, ever since realizing her period was late, she had limited contact. Just that morning, he’d texted asking if she was alright. 

A small part of her wanted to tell him she might be pregnant. But the last time they’d been in this predicament, he’d made so many promises, and she wasn’t sure if she could do the same. The memory of sitting on the phone with him during their sophomore year of college, waiting for the timer to go off as he promised he would drop out of the Academy and move home, and enlist in the Navy rather than commission as an officer so he could take care of her and the baby, was too much. As much as she still loved Jake, Julie wasn’t sure she could promise to move back to Virginia if she was pregnant this time. Those two months had been a black hole of loneliness and depression, and she’d only clawed herself out of it by coming back to Austin. 

So when the test was negative, Julie promised it was over. And she kept that promise when she’d seen him in Magnolia the following year when she visited her daddy for Christmas. It had been hard to speed walk out of the store, ignoring Jake calling for her, but it was for the best.

And now… now he was engaged and had a baby on the way, exactly what he’d always wanted. 

And who was she to derail that? Even if the woman he chose to spend the rest of his life with was evil? That was his choice. There had to be something good in her if Jacob Thomas Seresin chose to spend the rest of his life with her. For all of his faults, Jake was a good man who would do anything for the people he loved. And if he loved Shayla, that had to mean something. So kissing him was now on the list of regrets.

It did mean that she needed to distance herself from the Seresins. As much as she loved them, it wasn’t fair to Jake, Shayla, or their baby for her to be around. Once she left Magnolia, it would be easier to separate herself. It would hurt to lose her family, but it was the right thing to do. The idea of this being her last Christmas with them was…a sob caught in Julie’s throat, and she pressed a hand to her mouth to keep it from escaping. She’d already promised to be Tyler’s godmother - she could still make sure to have a close relationship with the little boy while keeping his uncle at arm’s length.

The grocery store lights turned on. Sitting up, Julie took a few deep breaths, brushing away any tears that had escaped her tight control and ignoring the dark circles that seemed permanent these days. After gathering her purse and putting her coat back on, she exited the car and hurried across the parking lot, mentally reviewing her shopping list.

The tears started to escape again when she stood in the baking aisle, trying to find more than one bag of almond flour. There was no telling how many macarons she needed to redo, and only having a bag and a half made her anxious. 

“Jules?” Taking a step back from where she was moving bags of flour on the shelf, she looked up the aisle to see Drew smiling. It slowly faded as he took in her appearance, and he quickly walked toward her, his cart wheels rattling loudly. “Hey, everything alright?” 

Maybe it was the genuine concern in his voice or the way his brown eyes softened as they took her in. It could have been the familiar firehouse uniform that her daddy had worn or just the exhaustion of the last week, but Julie couldn’t fight the tears any longer. When the first sob escaped, she clapped a hand to her mouth to stifle it, squeezing her eyes shut and wishing the floor would open and swallow her whole. “Aw, honey,” Drew murmured, shifting his radio over his shoulder before tugging her into his arms. His blue fire jacket held the faintest whiff of smoke and muted cologne, and she found herself burying her face into his chest as she cried. 

Julie wasn’t sure how long they stood there, but Drew didn’t seem to mind her using him as support during her breakdown. Instead, he held her tightly, telling her it would be alright. That whatever was wrong, they would figure it out. And when her sobs dissolved into hiccups and sniffles, she pulled away and wiped at the dark spot she’d left on his uniform. “S-sorry,” she whispered. 

“It’s fine,” he replied, ducking to try and catch her eye when she wouldn’t look at him. “What’s wrong, Jules? Talk to me.”

“I-it’s just been a spectacularly shitty last few days.” 

“Yeah? What happened?” And that was how she found herself spilling everything to him - overextending herself between work and baking to try and block out the fact that this was the first Christmas without her daddy, not sleeping for more than a few hours per night over the last month, her oven going out, and waking up to find out that Shayla ruined a lot of the hard work she’d done overnight. “So let me get this straight, honey,” Drew said, brows furrowing. “You’ve been runnin’ yourself into the ground and not sleeping. And your oven went out, so you went to the Seresin’s. And your ex-fiancé’s new fiancée is a bitch who messed with the stuff that you need for the mayor’s party tonight?”   

“That’s the gist,” she nodded. A soft smile crossed his mouth as he brushed away her tears with his knuckle. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Drew had only been in Magnolia for about four years and hadn’t had a front-row seat to the saga of Jake and Julie that some folks in town still liked to gossip about. Gossips like Betty, who pushed her rattling cart past them, not even bothering to hide her curious stare. 

“Mornin’, Mrs. Roberts,” Drew said, tapping the bill of his cap.

“Mornin’,” Betty said. “Everythin’ alright, Julie?” 

“Peachy,” she lied, forcing a smile and trying to ignore that her face was probably red and splotchy. 

“Jules was just helpin’ me pick out the best stuff for pancakes. Gotta get back to the house and make sure we get one last good breakfast in before shift ends.” 

“Of course,” Betty said, glancing in their baskets. Her gaze caught on the dark blue spot on his jacket. Drew reached up and twisted the radio belt, so it covered the spot, hand resting on the radio to hide it further. 

“Merry Christmas,” Julie said, turning her back on Betty, reaching for a bag of all-purpose flour, and putting it into Drew’s cart. “You should do them from scratch rather than using the box stuff.”

“Right. Just figured it’d be easier for the rookie,” Drew said, turning his back on the older woman. The rattling of the wheels alerted them to her departure, and they both glanced over their shoulder to see her hurrying down the aisle. “Ten bucks says she calls someone from the parking lot.”

“Twenty says she calls someone before getting to the register,” Julie countered, reaching into his cart to retrieve the flour.

“You can leave that. What else do I need for pancakes from scratch?” 

“Baking powder, sugar, salt, milk, eggs, and butter. You sure you don’t want to go the easier boxed route?” 

“I have a feeling we’re gonna need a good breakfast to get through all the work we have to do.”

“I thought your shift ended soon. Expecting any fires?”

“You never know,” Drew grinned down at her. “I’ve been known to start a kitchen fire or two when trying to make something. Good thing there’ll be a professional on hand to supervise.” At her confused look, he shrugged. “Come use the kitchen at the firehouse.”

“I-I… Drew, that’s - ”

“We’ve got a huge kitchen, the guys can help out, and you won’t have to worry about seeing the bitchy fiancée or ex-fiancé.”

“All my stuff is at the Seresin’s place.” He shrugged again. 

“Not an issue. I can run over and grab it while you take a nap.” He held up a finger when she opened her mouth to say something. “Honey, I hope the next words out of your mouth are some form of ‘yes’ or ‘thank you,’ ‘cause I don’t think we have a whole lot of time to argue. I got one of those invitations to the mayor’s party, and I know that we’ve got about” - he glanced at his watch - “thirteen hours until the party starts, and I’m sure you want to be done before that. So we don’t have time. Unless you want to go back to the Seresin’s.”

Julie paused for a moment before speaking, “Thanks, Drew.”

Jake carefully wiped the paper towel over the macaron shell, removing as much of the ganache as possible before setting it aside. Shayla had only managed to make about forty of the cookies before getting caught, so even if he couldn’t salvage all of them, at least Cece wouldn’t be starting from scratch. It was the least he could do. 

After Cece had left and Ally kicked her out of the kitchen, Shayla stomped up to the guest bedroom. He reluctantly followed, finding her throwing things into her suitcase and demanding to leave. “I’m happy to drive you to the airport, but I’m not leaving,” Jake had said, crossing his arms over his chest. Shayla spun on her heel and glared at him, putting a hand on her stomach.

“You would abandon the mother of your child? On Christmas Eve?”

“If you want to go, that’s fine. And we can talk about this when I get home - and we are going to talk about this, Shayla.” 

“About what?!” she spat, throwing her hairdryer into the suitcase so hard that the attachment flew off. “For trying to help some little bumfuck creator wi - ”

“Stop!” It was rare for Jake to raise his voice to her, so it shocked Shayla into silence. “You have no idea how hard Cece worked last night. You had no right to do that.”

“Oh, because it’s precious ‘Cece’s,’” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Funny how everyone else calls her Julie, but you call her Cece. ‘Cause she’s just an ‘old family friend,’ right?” Cocking an eyebrow, she smirked. “We’re even, Jake.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I saw you.” Jake felt a jolt of panic and fought to keep his expression blank.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I saw you kiss her.” The smile that graced her face could only be described as vindictive as she rubbed her stomach. “We both screwed up, but we’re gonna put that behind us for the sake of our baby, right?” When he didn’t answer, too stunned to respond, she walked closer and cupped his cheek, guiding his hand to her stomach. “Right? Because we’re a family. And I forgive you - ”

“Shay - ”

“As long as you don’t see her again.” 

Gentle chiming woke Julie, and she blindly slapped for her phone to turn off the alarm. Her body ached for sleep, and she indulged by hitting the snooze button. Rolling onto her stomach, she buried her face into the pillow and inhaled an unfamiliar scent while tugging the blanket higher over her shoulders. 

There was a gentle rapping on the door, and Julie groaned when it opened. “Jules?” Drew said softly.

“ M up,” she grumbled, forcing one eye open. 

“I just wanted to let you know I’m back with your stuff. Did you want me to get the oven going?” 

“I - ” she yawned, slowly sitting up. “Can do it.”

“Watch your eyes.” After pausing to let her cover them, Drew flipped on the room light. Squinting at the sudden brightness, she caught the fond look he gave her at the sight of her sleeping in one of his shirts and pair of sweats before schooling his expression. “Coffee’s ready whenever you are.” 

“Did… did they say anything when you got to the house?”

“Well,” he said, leaning against the doorframe and scratching his chin, fingers rasping against the stubble. “Mrs. Seresin wanted to make sure you were alright. Mrs. Roberts called her to let her know about… uh… you were upset.” 

“Well, at least we know who she called in the dairy section,” she sighed, rolling her eyes - Drew had handed her a crisp $20 bill after checking out. 

“Yeah. Didn’t see Mr. Seresin or Will, but I met Jake.” Julie gripped the mattress, somewhat dreading what he would report.

“And?”

“He, uh…” Drew scratched the back of his neck. “Wanted me to tell you that he tried to save as many cookies as possible. And that he’s sorry.” 

“Any sightings of the wicked witch of the West Coast?” she asked, pushing to her feet. The floor was cold, and she quickly shoved her feet into her sneakers. 

“Thankfully, no,” he chuckled, stepping aside as she neared. “I can grab my shampoo and stuff if you want to jump in the shower before starting.

“You trying to politely say I’m lookin’ rough?” Julie teased.

“I’d never say that about a beautiful woman.” Blushing, she dropped her gaze and shook her head. 

“Daddy told me about the water pressure here. I’ll wait ‘til I get home.” With a nod, Drew tilted his head toward the kitchen.

“I just tossed your clothes in the dryer, so they’ll be done soon. And I may have stashed some of the leftover bacon for you.” 

Stepping into the main room, Julie was greeted with a round of hellos from the firefighters on shift. She quickly made the rounds, hugging some oldtimers who had worked with her daddy and trading smiles with the rest. In a town as small as Magnolia, she regularly saw them at the store or work and - except for a few - had gone to school with them. Drew handed her a coffee mug when she stepped away from a conversation with Travis, whose wife wanted a cake for their fifth wedding anniversary. 

“Let’s see the damage,” Julie sighed, glancing at the tray of paired macaron shells. She quickly spotted the damaged ones, even with Jake trying to salvage them. A handful were cracked, and the silver cookies were stained with chocolate. All told it looked like she would maybe have to do four trays - much less than expected. Thankfully, it looked like Shayla had only messed with six cupcakes, which had been extras, so she didn’t need to touch those. Mentally revising her to-do list while sipping coffee, Julie realized that she would have plenty of time to finish all the work, even with testing the new oven. 

“What’s the plan, boss?” Drew asked, leaning against the counter and watching her. 

“I’ll whip up some macarons to test the oven, make some royal icing for the cookie kit, and decorate the macarons. The ganache should be set by then, and my stuff will be up to room temp for the buttercream. I can fill macarons pretty quickly, and after that, it’s boxing and doing the sugar cookies.” 

Which was exactly what she did. It only took three rounds of tests to get the macarons right, by which time she had an audience sitting around the kitchen. Drew, who had been observing from the table while doing some paperwork, put them to work after raiding the EMT truck for gloves. They quickly assembled her packaging and placed her advertisement stickers on the cupcake boxes. After doing a small drizzle of icing on the macaron shells to make it look like the Christmas bulbs had a cap, she stood back and laughed as they doused them with edible spray glitter. 

With their permission - which she enthusiastically received - Julie set up her tripod and filmed. And it was the most she laughed in a long time. As much as the guys were messing around, they ensured their assigned tasks were done. Given how much counter space there was, she made the sugar cookie dough while the macarons dried before baking. Once rolled, there was some good-natured shoving to see who would get to cut out the cookies while Julie worked on filling the macarons. Drew volunteered to package them, his arm brushing against hers when he reached for one of the finished cookies.

Somehow - miraculously - everything was done by 3:00PM. The guys were already off shift but stayed back to help her finish up, and the second shift also joined in. When she started to plan on moving everything to her car, they helped her wash and pack her equipment but insisted on her coming back to get the baked goods before the party so she wouldn’t have to repack the car again in a couple of hours. 

“I’ll come by,” Drew offered. “Gonna be headed to the party anyways, so I can help you set up. And then maybe you’d like to stick around with me?” 

So, just before 4:00PM, Julie trudged back into her apartment, collapsed into bed after setting an alarm, and quickly passed out. 

“Get up,” Will said, throwing open the door to Jake’s bedroom. “We’re goin’ out.” Lowering his phone, Jake looked at his older brother and sighed.

“Don’t feel like it.”

“I wasn’t asking, squirt. Get your ass up and get in the truck.” Rolling his eyes, Jake shifted onto his side, turning his back to his brother.

“Later, Will. I’m - ” A hand clamped around his ankle and tugged. Caught off-guard, he scrambled to catch the mattress as Will pulled him onto the floor in a tangle of blankets and limbs. Hands on his hips, his older brother glared down at him.

“Get your fuckin’ shoes on. We’re goin’ to get a beer.” 

Which was how the Seresin boys found themselves at Mikey’s on Christmas Eve, staring one another down over a beer while country versions of Christmas classics played on the jukebox. The bar was moderately full of folks catching up, those - like Jake - who had moved away from Magnolia and came back for the holidays, greeting those who had chosen to stay behind. He’d seen more people from high school tonight than since graduation when he and Cece had snuck out to a field party. That night, he’d slipped his class ring on her finger, promising they would get married as soon as he graduated from the Academy, celebrating their commitment in the backseat of his truck. After too much to drink, they’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms in his truck bed and woken to multiple missed calls from her daddy. Mr. Ryan had tried to ground Cece, only for her to put her foot down that she was an adult and wouldn’t miss time with Jake the last few weeks he was home. 

After catching up with another former classmate, Will took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and pushed his glass away. “Jake.”

“Why do I feel I’m not going to like what you have to say?”A smile tugged at the corner of Will’s mouth before he schooled his expression.

“‘Cause you can be moderately intelligent when you’re not thinkin’ with your dick. But yeah, you’re not gonna like it. We need to talk about Shayla.”

“My fiancée? Jake asked, sipping his beer and raising an eyebrow.

“Not many other Shayla’s around here,” his brother shrugged and sighed. “Ally told me about what happened this morning, and I’m sure Mama told Pops.” 

“She has. You saw the way he looked at her at dinner.” It had been a tense affair, with Ally choosing to stay home rather than join while Mama kept her answers clipped when asked anything. Will and Pops had carried on the conversation, and Pops had pointedly told Shayla to put her phone away when she tried to film them eating. Jake had taken it from her and put it in his pocket, only returning it when the meal was over. When Will grabbed a plate of leftovers to take home for his wife, Pops stopped him to ask if Ally would be joining them for breakfast, to which Will said he wasn’t sure. Jake had caught the irritated look that Mama had thrown at Shayla.

Will nodded, crossing his arms over the table. “Yeah. She’s not making it easy, especially doing that to Julie.” Jake took a sip of his beer to avoid giving his brother more reason to hate her. If he found out that Shayla had done it intentionally to hurt Cece for his mistake, there would be no coming back from that. 

“She’s… not comfortable here. She’s not like this when we’re home.” Raising an eyebrow, Will gave his brother an unimpressed look. “She’s not. Shay is...complicated.” 

“So uncomplicate it for me. Why are you with her? Other” - he cut Jake off when he opened his mouth - “than because she’s pregnant.” 

“I love her.” The words sounded hollow even to his own ears. “She’s…she’s…”

Sitting up, Will counted on his fingers. “Ally’s the love of my life. She’s funny, smart as hell, feisty as shit, protective of the people she loves, and is one of the most caring people I’ve met.” Holding up his hand, he sighed. “Five things about the woman I love in less than 30 seconds. It’s not a trick question. 

“Shayla’s funny in her own way,” Jake said, holding up his thumb. “She can be caring. Um…She’s good at what she does, and her fans love her.” 

“And time,” Will said, glancing at his watch. “Just for comparison's sake, if I’d asked you that question about Julie back when you were together, would you have been able to answer it?”

Jake gave his brother a flat stare. “It’s easy to say good things about someone you’ve loved since seventh grade.”

“Should be even easier to say it about the woman you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with.” 

“What do you want me to say, Will?” Jake demanded. “That I don’t want to be with my fiancée? That I wish I hadn’t been stupid and slept with her one more time before breaking up? Because I’m not going to say that. Not about the woman who is having my baby.” 

“Ja - ”

“I’m going to marry her. We’re going to be a family, and we’re just going to have to…figure out how to…” 

“Be happy?”

“I am happy,” he snapped. 

“Then maybe tell that to your face.” It had been years since his last bar fight, but it took everything in Jake not to deck his big brother. Scowling down at his beer, he forced himself to take a deep breath. And then another. Sighing, Will shook his head. “I’m not tryin’ to piss you off. But you don’t have to marry her just ‘cause she’s pregnant.” 

“If Ally’d gotten pregnant when you were dating, you would have married her.” 

“You’re right. I would have married her because I love Ally, and we already talked about it. But if you think that stubborn woman woulda let me marry her out of some sense of obligation, you don’t know my wife.” 

“It’s not…” Jake ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. “I have an obligation. And I’m not willing to risk not being part of my kid’s life just because…”

“You don’t love their mother?”

“I’m having trouble trusting her,” he finished, glaring at the other man. “If I don’t marry her, I might not have access to them.”

“You can set up a custody arrangement if you need to,” Will suggested.

“But I’d still miss a lot. And what happens if I get orders? No court is going to make her move so I can be close to them. I only get to see my kid grow up if I marry Shayla.” 

The doors opened, letting in a cold blast of air, and Jake sat up as Cece stumbled in laughing, snow dusting her hair and shoulders. She turned, looking up at the man he recognized from earlier at the house, who grinned back at her and nodded toward the bar. Taking his hand, she led them through the crowd, taking up a vacated spot. 

Will followed his gaze as Jake watched him help Cece take her coat off, folding it over his arm. She wore a tight green dress that clung to her curves and a pair of black tights, snow coating her black boots. Jake's grip tightened on his glass when the guy reached up to brush the snow from her hair. And then his view was obscured as Will shifted to block them. “If you’re set on marrying Shayla, maybe you shouldn’t look at your ex like that,” he said gently. Jake forced his gaze down onto his beer. 

“How long’s that been going on?”

“Ally said that Drew’s asked her out a couple times. He’s a good guy - worked with her Pops and was there for her when he…But I think this is the first time they’ve gone out.” Jake’s eyes shot up when he heard her laugh, watching Cece tap her beer glass against his. Plucking a pretzel rod from the dish before him, he crushed it to dust over a napkin, tracking the two as they retreated to a table. Drew pulled out her chair and pushed it in before draping her jacket over the back. 

“He deserve her?” Will lifted his beer, pausing for a moment before taking a sip. 

“Jake, you gotta let her go. It’s not fair to you or her or Shayla.” 

“Easier said than done,” Jake muttered. His brother glanced over at the two of them and sighed. 

“I don’t see it going anywhere. Julie talked to Mama and Pops about looking after the house when she leaves if she doesn’t sell it, and I don’t see her staying for someone.” Jake let out a sad huff, downing half of his beer. 

“Yeah, she tends to not do that.” 

“Don’t start that shit,” Will said, his tone sharp. The brothers traded a look before the younger shrugged. 

“She’s the one that left.”

“After she waited for your dumb ass for years, and you lied to her.”

“What? I didn’t - ”

“Let her know you were deploying?” Jake froze, eyes darting from Will to Cece and back again. 

“What?” Wills’ eyebrow rose. 

“Julie found out you were leaving after she moved up to Virginia. You didn’t know?” Dread pooled in Jake’s stomach as he looked back at the woman he’d loved for most of his life. He’d tried to figure out what had been the breaking point for them for so long, but he’d never… 

It had been the hardest secret for him to keep when they’d planned for her to move. Once he’d gotten his orders, Jake called Cece and told her they were Virginia-bound. It wasn’t until he was in processing into the unit that he found out they were scheduled to head to the Middle East six months later for seven months. By then, she’d already given her notice at work and packed up her apartment. He had gotten approval to fly to Austin and drive the 23 hours back to Virginia Beach with her. 

There had been so many times during that drive that he could have told her, but he didn’t. He let himself enjoy getting so much uninterrupted time together, laughing and getting to know her again. And, once they got to their new home, he wanted to let her settle in. There was plenty of time to let her know. 

But then his hours got longer as they prepared to deploy. It was his first time going into combat, and - even with all the training he’d gotten in flight school and TOPGUN - he was worried. And he couldn’t talk about it because Cece didn’t know he was leaving. So he went out with the guys to the bar and spoke to some older pilots, trying to get advice from them about flying in a warzone. At home, he tried to avoid talking about the wedding. Cece wanted to plan it so badly, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her that he wouldn’t be there to do everything a groom was supposed to do. 

Four months. Jake had to let her know, but as the days ticked by, he found it harder and harder to say anything. The minute he told her, he knew she would be crushed. So he waited for the right time, but there never seemed to be one. And he watched as little by little she shut down as she struggled to find a job and a group of friends. But things only worsened after they went on a beach day with some of the other junior officers. He’d hoped that she could make friends with the other spouses and they could help her find her footing. Then she’d asked him that fucking question.

“If I said I wanted to get married today, what would you say?”

He’d known that he couldn’t marry her without telling her. That it wouldn’t be fair to her. But he didn’t want to lose her.

And in the end, that’s exactly what happened. 

Jake watched Cece follow Drew onto the small dance floor, laughing as he spun her before pulling her in close. Her hand rested on his shoulder as they swayed to Please Come Home for Christmas, his hand spanning her lower back. They were too far away for him to hear what they were saying, but he could see she was giving him that sleepy, happy smile she’d gifted him so many times. 

And then Drew looked up and said something, and Cece did as well. Jake followed their gaze and saw they were dancing under a sprig of mistletoe. Cece’s smile turned shy, and he could see her blushing. He said something, and Jake watched her nod.

Drew spun Cece again before pulling her back in, leaning down to brush his lips against hers. She dropped his hand, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him again, his hands wrapping around her hips and tugging her closer.

Jake stood up, hitting the table and making Will’s beer slosh over the rim. Ignoring his brother’s curse, he yanked his jacket from the back of his chair and stormed toward the door. Snow pelted his face as he stomped down the street to the truck, forcing away the memory of his first kiss under the mistletoe at the Winter Formal with the woman he’d once thought he’d spend the rest of his life with. 

-----------------------------------------

Author's Note: A huge thank you to @mamachasesmayhem for letting me run so much of this chapter past her while writing, and helping flesh out some of the story points. You're the best!

Taglist: @mamachasesmayhem; @buckysteveloki-me; @fanficfandomlove; @maeleeme; @djs8891; @kmc1989; @justenoughmadness; @shanimallina87; @lynnevanss; @dempy; @emilyoflanternhill; @midnightmagpiemama; @sordidfairytale; @vivalas-vega; @eloquentdreamer; @roosterforme; @mizzzpink; @memoriesat30; @dizzybee03; @itsdesiree86; @yuckosworld; @sorchathered; @boisewaffles

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please comment below. I do check that readers are 18+

#top gun fic #top gun maverick #jake seresin #Hangman top gun #soft!Jake Seresin #hangman fic #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x oc #hangman x oc #'tis the damn season fic

[sukiloves]

devilish ; sukuna

starring . . . RYŌMEN SUKUNA

includes . . . true form sukuna, bottom! reader, size kink is heavily implied, mention of mirror sex, so much cum lmao, cum eating/sharing? lmk if i missed anything!

notes . . . rae @kagejima got me hooked on true form sukuna! and i cannot stop thinking abt her true form sukuna work like ON GOD she brought out the monster fucker in me 🤧 and yes the title is based on the chase atlantic song since idk what to title this sgsjdj

thinking about true form sukuna who flaunts the size difference between you two that even if you're big yourself or tall, he's certainly dwarfing you whenever he stood behind you — two sets of big muscular arms wrapping around your waist as he hugs you closer to him, feeling every hard ridge of his muscles as he chuckles whenever he thinks about how cute and tiny you are.

his hands are so huge that they can literally fit your whole head in them. he thinks it's adorable whenever you held hands as he can clearly see how small yours are, but he likes it, how his huge frame can protect you and keep you safe, can keep you warm on cold days.

sukuna especially loves it when those same huge hands of his are gripping your hips to help you bounce up and down his lap, watching you struggle to take in both of his equally massive cocks inside you at first with a smirk. training you every day to take him until you can fuck him so good that your cries of “too much! c-can't take it!” turns into, “s'good! feel so full, 'kuna.”

it's making your head spin every time you both fuck, sukuna in his true form is truly a glorious and sinful sight to behold. to tease you further, he'll even fuck you in front of a mirror just to let you see how good you're taking him, see how huge he was compared to your tiny body being fucked dumb.

and god, seeing his huge precum leak out of your pussy with every thrust of his hips and the delicious drag of his cock massaging your insides is so good you never want it to end. the sensation making you roll your eyes to the back of your head, mouth hanging open with your tongue sticking out.

in your state, sukuna takes it as an opportunity to absolutely ravage you and ruin you until no one can make you feel good but him — only craving him and his insanely towering frame and monster cocks.

when he cums, you swore you can taste it in your mouth. it's so thick and it's so much that you both won't finish without the two of you being covered in his sticky cum. he'd even lick some off you and kiss you messily, tongues clashing with the taste of the two of you lingering on both of your mouths.

#💟 signed and sealed by franz ! #🌷ryōmen sukuna #sukuna x reader smut #ryōmen sukuna x reader smut #sukuna x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #sukuna smut #sukuna x fem reader

[coupsinmyheart]

cruel summer - joshua hong ⊹ ࣪ ˖

. pairing (joshua hong x female reader) female reader is called Alfie Hwang

song recommendations to listen while reading :

cruel summer - taylor swift . love me like you do - ellie goulding . give your heart a break - demi lovato . you are in love - taylor swift . double take - dhruv . every summertime - niki . i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys . untouchable - taylor swift . night changes - one direction . the very first night - taylor swift . i really like you - carly rae jepsen . the reasons of my smiles - bss . falling you - 曾可妮, 都智文 . sunday morning - maroon 5 . slut! - taylor swift . we can't be friends (wait for your love) - ariana grande . what lovers do - maroon 5, sza . darling - seventeen . king of my heart - taylor swift

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

this is for entertainment purposes, all characters personalities that are features here are not the same as they are irl so please do not take it seriously! i've been quite busy these days so i might go mia again after this 😭(sorry guys it's major exam year for me) anyways, i hope you like this & let me know what you think! happy reading <3

tw/ curse words, mentions of sexual topics

featuring seventeen's joshua hong and female reader.

angst, fake dating troupe, fluff, humor, enemies to lovers

-------------------------------------

"it's a cruel summer, with you."

Singing softly to the tune of your favourite song, you placed the last few stacks of papers into the recycling box your mom has left in the room for you. It was finally summer break - the most awaited season of the year. The only time of the year where you can pull out cute summer dresses and accessories and no one would ever judge you for it. However, this time it was different. Your ex, Noah, would be coming back to your hometown after 2 years. Both your parents worked closely with each other due to shared interests and businesses. So, upon hearing the news that Noah cheated on you with some girl at a college party, his parents thought that the investments between both companies were over. However, your parents advised you to not care too much about it and how there are many other fishes in the sea or blah blah blah because Noah's family business brings them good money and so on.

Did the breakup hurt? Oh fuck yeah it definitely did.

The promises, the little things he took note of, the acts of services that he did without me telling him to do, the quality time...It may be nothing to him, but it was definitely something for me. He was my first love and you know how people would say how first loves would always hold a special memory in your heart? I never believed that until i met Noah.

From perfect grades and a perfect GPA to my first fail in school. Ever since then, I knew I had to tell myself to buck up and stop giving a shit about Noah because it's not like he gave two shits about cheating on you? Afterwards, I heard from my parents that Noah was moving to Vancouver for further studies and at that time, I thought that I had moved on.

But clearly until now, I haven't.

Placing the recycling box outside of my room, I placed my books and materials into my bag and headed out for math tuition.

-------------------------------------

"Alright class, we have a new student who will be joining our class, can we please welcome Joshua!" the math tutor, Mr Lee announced as he patted Joshua on his back while he introduced himself to the class.

Not Joshua Hong again. Why is he even in this class.

Oh yeah, forgot to tell you, I despise Joshua with a burning passion. To put it simply, He's too good to be true. Yup, i admit it. His body proportions , his angel-like face, his kind and warm hearted personality. I mean- Straight A's and a perfect GPA with many awards and won several basketball championships? Every female teacher has a soft spot for him, even the principal adores him, every single auntie likes him at first glance. Tall, Handsome, Young and Rich. He is not real. And worst of all, I was the well-known smart-rich-pretty girl in the school until he came along and captured everyone's attention away from me. We battled for tests, exams, to see who the teacher picks in class when both of us raise our hands at the same time (which usually ends up with him giving in to me) yeah- almost everything. Now, he's joining my math tuiton? What the heck? I can't even catch a break.

While walking to his new table, Joshua locked eye contact with me with a pure smile on his face. "I swear to god." I muttered under my breath as I try to ignore the unwilling presence in the classroom.

As soon as tuition was over, I hurried out of the building and waited at the entrance for my chauffeur to arrive. However, to my dismay, I saw two familiar faces walking towards me - Noah and his new girlfriend, Zia.

"Hi Alfie, it's good to see you again." Noah started. That look on his face used to have sparks 3 years ago, but now I couldn't see it anymore. "O-Oh Hi." I stuttered upon looking at their hands intertwining with each other. "This is my girlfriend, Zia." He continued while Zia muttered a "Hi" towards me, smiling.

This freaking asshole. Like what was he trying to do? Rub into my face how he left me for some pretty girl? Just my luck. I thought while forcing out a smile back at her.

Regaining my confidence, I replied, "I see, hello there. Also, what are you doing here? How did you know I come for math classes here?"

"Your mother told me about it and she asked me for a favour to bring you out for dinner with Zia." He casually said. What the fuck? Aint no way am I going toI tried my best not to rolled my eyes as I looked around, signalling help.

Should have made friends at this tuition centre.

At the corner of my eye, I spotted Joshua waiting for his chauffeur (i guessed) In the heat of the moment, I spurted out. "I'm going to eat with my boyfriend!"

and that one hasty decision changed my summer.

Noah and Zia looks unconvinced as they looked at Joshua and looked back at me, especially Noah as he probably knew how badly affected I was after the breakup. Fuck I can't go back on my words now, what's done is done. Mustering up my courage, I shouted at a distance.

"Joshua! Come over! What are you doing there?" god that was embarrassing. He's going to laugh at me after this.

He looked at me with the do-i-know-you face and raised his eyebrow and walked over hesitantly. I smiled at him, motioning with my eyes for him to come over. He stared confusingly between me and the couple.

"Oh! this is my ex boyfriend, Noah and his girlfriend, Zia." I started, wrapping my hand over his arm, trying to make the act look more convincing. He looked at me confusingly, however his body remained calm even though my palms was all sweaty around his arm. I smiled at him while blinking, hoping he have caught on by now. Thankfully, he wasn't one of those stupid and couldn't-get-the-hint kind of boys, this man quickly caught up to the act.

"O-Oh yeah. Hi guys! I'm Joshua, Alfie's boyfriend." He said naturally while giving them a wave. Wow, I actually believed it for a second by how real and natural he sounds. Going back to the main point, I continued, "Yup! He actually booked a dinner reservation tonight. Sorry I couldn't make it, hopefully next time (hopefully never) we can have the opportunity to have a meal. Bye! See yall around!" I exclaimed as I pulled Joshua away, hoping they would leave soon. My arm still wrapped around Joshua's biceps.

"They are probably gone by now." Joshua said as he looked at the unfamiliar alley we were in. I immediately unwrapped my arm around his biceps as I realised what a mess I have created. Alfie..you and your ego once again.

"Sorry for bringing you into that mess earlier on and thank you for helping me." I started as I cleared my throat.

"Glad I could be of help. You should leave soon, it's getting dark and this place could be of danger at night." Joshua replied, feeling unfazed about the situation earlier on.

There he goes again. That warm look in his eyes when he talks to people. That gentleman-like smile and that caring tone when he talks. Especially in the dim light coming from the streetlight at the corner which shone on his face with the evening sky. He looks way too good.

Snapping out of reality, I answered, "Yeah of course, let's go."

-------------------------------------

"You have a boyfriend?" My mom exclaimed surprisingly while motioning my dad to come over to the living room where the commotion was created. Well, looks like news has reached my parents. What a digitalised world we live in!

"Who's this guy? How long have yall been together? Is he rich? Is he smart? Is he good-looking?" My mom started.

"He's rich, smart, handsome, amazing and he treats me well." I answered, feeling surprised by how fast and natural that sounds. As if we were actually dating.

My mom looked at me up and down, and continued, "I heard his name was Joshua...heard his parents were making big bucks and they owned lots of lands and businesses."

Well i wouldn't know that fact but since I heard Joshua's family was a big shot in the business industry, she must be right then. Nodding my head, I walked away, hoping they would not continue this conversation.

"Alfie Hwang, please remember that your finals are this year. Joshua seems to be a great guy so far but you better not be distracted!"

"yeah yeah"

"Also! Bring him over for dinner one day!"

That stopped me in my tracks. In fact, I almost stumbled over the stairs. Fuck, I thought this was just a one-time thing and after two weeks I can just say that we broke up and no one will ever hear about this again.

How do I convince Joshua to come over for dinner?

Hurrying up to my room, I dialed for my best friend's - Noelle Choi and yapped to her about the horrible situation I was in.

"No fucking way. You're so lucky!" Noelle exclaimed as she screamed.

"Not funny Noelle, what the fuck do I do now?" I said in frustration.

"Hey, you got THE Joshua Hong to pretend to be your boyfriend in front of that asshole and that bitch." Noelle continued, "Just imagine how jealous he is."

"It's just Joshua, you're overreacting and I don't think the mess I placed myself in is worth pretending to be with Joshua for a few minutes." I said while plopping down on my bed in agony.

"No. You're wrong. Do you even know how of a big thing Joshua is? The only son of the Hong Group. One of the biggest companies In Korea and popular in America and worldwide known. Many girls line up just to be with him, but did he never accepts them. Even our teachers would quit their jobs just to be with him. Disgusting, right? But it's true. Heard he dated some girl back when he was still studying in Los Angeles, first love probably." Noelle explained enthusiastically.

"Okay okay I get it. Joshua this, Joshua that. Wait- all this time I've complained about him to you, were you always on his side?"

There was a moment of silence on the other side of the phone call as I shouted "Noelle Choi!"

"I'm sorry okay! He is just too perfect." Noelle admitted sheepishly. I can't deny on that one as much as I don't want to admit it.

"Whatever, what do I do now?" I cried out as I dropped my head into my soft pillow. "FML."

"I mean, since you're already at this point, just ask him to be your pretend boyfriend for awhile." Noelle suggested.

"Are you crazy? Imagine if he rejects me, Not only will my reputation will be on the line but Noah would find out how I faked having a boyfriend and that would be so embarrassing and pathetic. How am I going to face the world after that? Just imagine the words that will come out of peoples mouth after. 'Hong Group's only son Joshua rejected Alfie Hwang from being her pretend boyfriend.' Oh no way am I doing that."

"Oh Alfie, you got to let you and your ego down. I mean, to be fair, you wouldn't be in this mess right now if you didn't want to look like you're happily in a relationship all these years in front of Noah and Zia babe." Noelle pointed out.

Shes got a point. My competitiveness and pride are my weaknesses.

"You know what, you're right. Since I've got the shame to bring Joshua into this situation, I will have the shame to ask him to pretend to be my boyfriend. I mean, I don't think he's looking for a relationship and neither do I and if he rejects me so be it, you can do this Alfie Hwang." I sat up confidently.

"That's the spirit Alfie!"

-------------------------------------

As soon as I spotted Joshua at school the next day, I followed him until there was barely anyone around before pulling him into a corner. Surprised, Joshua asked, "Is there anything I can help you with, Alfie?"

"Oh Im glad you asked, because yes indeed there is." I answered, trying my best to be confident. Taking a deep breath, Joshua motioned me to continue.

"Would you pretend to be my boyfriend?" I asked as I closed my eyes expecting him to start shouting at me, telling me how crazy I was. However, he didn't.

Joshua blinked twice and replied, "Okay, but how do I do that?" I opened one of my eyes, taken aback by the quick response. "Erm...." I started, trailing off. "You know, you don't have to agree with this, you can say no. You know?"

"Yeah I know." Joshua replied casually.

"Oh my god. Thank you." I blurted out while stopping in my tracks by how desperate and silly I sound.

We exchanged numbers and agreed to discuss more of this after school. As we exchanged goodbyes, I held up my hand in victory towards the pillar where Noelle was hiding and mouthed a "He agreed." She gave me a nod of approval as we walked back to our class.

After school ended, I immediately booked a taxi and headed to the café where I was supposed to meet Joshua. We deliberately chose a place where none of the students that attended our school came due to location and inconvenience so that we would not spark rumours and be the trended topic of our school the next day.

Walking into the aesthetically grey café, I spotted Joshua sitting at a corner. His airpods was in his ears as he closed his eyes. A cup of ice americano was siiting on the table. I gulped as I stood at the entrance, admiring him. I can totally get why female teachers fawn over him and male teachers are salty and jealous of him. I didn't even realise how long I was standing until someone asked me if I could move as I was blocking the entrance. Apologising, I walked to the table Joshua was at shaking those thoughts away. "Its just going to be a skit. You hate him anyways Alfie. Nothing is going to happen." I kept repeating to myself in my head.

"Hi Joshua." I said, while pulling out the chair opposite him.

He opened his eyes and swiftly got up. "Oh, my apologies Alfie, I didn't meant to doze off. Would you like anything? It's my treat."

This man was too kind. Way too kind. The fact that he has been waiting for me for god knows how long and still apologised for not greeting me? I could never.

"O-Oh it's alright. I still haven't thank you for agreeing to his stupid deal. Can I have a vanilla latte please?" I replied.

Joshua nodded as he raised his hand to motioned the waiter to come over as he placed my order and thanked the waiter politely. I shifted in my seat, feeling the silent awkwardness for awhile before clearing my throat breaking the silence.

"So...as you saw that day. That's my ex-boyfriend, Noah and his girlfriend, Zia. We dated for 1 year and a few months before he cheated on me with her. He left Korea with her to pursue early studies and gain career experience and he came back a few days ago for summer break. Our parents are pretty close as they owned businesses together and work together for quite a few years. That's why, when I came home that day, they heard about you and invited you to come to our house for dinner next friday." I explained, looking at Joshua's face processing the situation.

"Mhm." He replied as a sign that he was listening.

"Thanks for helping me that day." I continued, "and sorry for using you."

"No worries." Joshua replied, assuring me. "I understand."

I nodded my head as the waiter came over to serve my drink. I also told him about what my family likes and what their hobbies and interests are so that it would come off more natural.

"Don't mind me asking but why did you agree to help me?" I asked, genuinely curious. "I mean, we barely know each other and i'm basically just using you in a way and guys like you are usually looking for a long-term relationship right? I'm pretty sure you want that too."

I swear Joshua's angel-like face dropped for a second before replying to me. My heart sank for awhile for some reason, as if I was offending him.

"Erm...what do you mean by that?" Joshua asked, his body tensed up a little as he sat further into the chair.

"I don't know. I mean, your family is doing so well, you're the only son, your grades are perfect, you do well in basketball, you win championships, you're responsible and respectful. I mean, don't many successful daughters wants to date you? Don't you want a stable and long term relationship too? Isn't that the reason why you reject all the girls at school?" I blurted out, without thinking much.

This time, Joshua was the one who cleared his throat as he changed the topic. "Text me your address. We'll meet at 6:30pm at your place. Lets go, it's getting late , I'll give you a ride home." The next moment I knew, he got up and headed for the doors. Swiftly, I grabbed my bag and chased after him, wondering what got him so irked up.

-------------------------------------

I was pacing around my room, as I looked into the mirror for the umpteenth time, fixing my hair and patting my black skirt and the long sleeved white top that was hugging my torso. It's just a dinner. What could go wrong? In fact, everything could go wrong. Knowing how my family was like, everything that could go wrong could go wrong.

And heck yeah I was right.

As soon as I heard the doorbell rang, I rushed down the stairs, preventing my parents from being the first one to greet him. As I opened the door, I saw Joshua standing at the front. He was wearing a black button up shirt which was unbuttoned at the top, showing his sleek collarbone. My parents headed out of the living room while my sister walked down the stairs from her room, eyeing Joshua.

"Hey." I said, faking a wide smile as I opened the door, motioning him to come inside. His hands was filled with paper bags and items.

My parents welcomed him as they ushered the helpers to collect the bags from him. (he refused of course)

"Hello! You must be Joshua. We've heard many amazing things about you!" My mom started. Joshua smiled at her as he nodded in reply. I was sitting awkwardly in the living room as Joshua entertained them. My parents must have liked Joshua because I've genuinely never seen them be so happy before. Even when with Noah.

The whole dinner was going by smoothly as my mother kept asking personal questions about Joshua and I had to cut in sometimes to not let my mother cross his boundaries and to not make him feel uncomfortable, of course. Although he would reassure me on and off, looking at me with those tender eyes of him. Oh he had experience, he's way too good at this.

Joshua bought herbs and herbal tea for my parents, bought a whole coffee machine in the latest model, bought my sister several makeup items with the latest models and expensive brands. I was surprised by how he took note of everything I said.

As the night was about to end, my mother ordered me to get the new fruit basket that was on the dining table that she just bought just for today. Walking to the kitchen, I heard two familiar voices echoing through the kitchen as I immediately stopped in my tracks as I stood behind the wall in the hallway. It was Joshua and my older sister, Alice.

"I mean." Alice said. "What do you even see in her? You're smart, handsome, rich and could pull any woman you like. So, why her?" This bitch. My sister and I were never really on good terms. We used to be close but that was before our parents compared us in academics and achievements and we both got pretty competitive, fighting over everything. Thats why, growing up, we were never really on the same page and we became more distant due to busy schedules and work or school. Moreover, now that my sister is working at a company, we don't even see each other for more than 2 days sometimes.

Anticipating Joshua's answer, I held my breath as I crossed my arms.

"I like everything about her." Joshua answered.

Hearing Alice groan and the sound of her house slippers against the hard floor, I walked into the kitchen as if I wasn't eavesdropping on their conversation. For some reason, I was satisfied with his answer and I tried my best to hide my smile. Looking at my sister rolling her eyes at me before heading out of the kitchen, I felt even better.

"Let me." Joshua said as he took the filled fruit basket from me as we walked out of the kitchen together.

After Joshua left, I washed up and changed into some comfortable clothes before calling Noelle. He must have cast some spell on my family because my parents told me to invite Joshua over again soon.

"No freaking way." the other side of the phone spoke as I laid on my bed, arranging my clothes in my closet.

"Yes freaking way." I said while placing a flowery dress in my closet.

"I would kill to be your family member right now." Alice said in a exaggerating tone. "Not bad, this Joshua guy is surprisingly good at this."

"I know right. Its as if he pretends to be other people boyfriend for a living." I replied.

-------------------------------------

As days passed, Joshua and I continued to be strangers in school but dating in front of my family. Alice was pretty suspicious as I was not posting him on social media at all so I made sure to block everyone from school who was following before posting a subtle picture of us sharing an airpod together on my instagram story. The background story was even funnier because I remember calling him to meet up and him just agreeing without even hearing what I have to say. Then, as we were in his car, I took out my airpod which was not even connected to my phone. Joshua didn't even say anything and he just followed my instructions and thankfully, Alice didn't asked anything after that.

Everything was going pretty well until one day when freaking Noah decided to show up at my school and somehow he knows that day I have to come back to school for extra class.

Walking through the hallways, I was greeted with the familiar sight of my ex. Just my luck. What was he doing here?

"Hi Alfie." He said. "I heard Joshua comes to this school too."

"Yeah." I said, trying my best to sound normal and calm.

"You guys don't go home together? I mean, when we were dating, I would go home with you. Remember?" He said, letting out a laughter.

What was this asshole trying to imply? I raised an eyebrow at his statement and replied.

"He has to attend one more lecture. I'm going home to catch up on today's school work. Bye." I said, continuing my way to the school doors. However, he did not stopped there. He sure doesn't know how to take a fucking hint.

"What a boyfriend, isn't he?" Noah scoffed as he shook his head. Now he was crossing the line, there was no way I was backing down. Somehow, as much as I indirectly hated Joshua, I had the feeling and my head tells me to defend him. And that's what I did.

"Now what is your fucking pro-"

"Yes? What's this about?"

Suddenly, Joshua appeared behind Noah as he looked at Noah and walked towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "How was your day babe?"

Now this was clearly getting looks as most students stopped to look at the commotion happening. Looking at Joshua and motioning him to stop, he continued staring at me with those fond eyes of his and pulled me into his chest further.

"Oh! You're Noah right? Nice to see you again." Joshua said smiling genuinely at the now flustered man in front of us, hand still on my shoulder.

"Whatever." Noah said as he walked out of the door.

By this time, most of the students were either whispering or shocked by this scene. Some girls were even crying and one even said "Why is she with him?" However, despite the many happenings surrounding us, all I could see was Joshua. How fucking perfect he looks under the summer sunlight beaming down on his perfectly crafted face. Awoh that 90 degree jawline of his. I didn't even realise he was walking me out of school (hand still on my shoulder) until he spoke.

"Let's go Alfie."

The car ride back home was silent, I looked out of the window, mind still filled with the scene from earlier.

"Alfie pull yourself together. It's just an act. You hate him after all." I repeated these words in my head.

"Alfie pull yourself together. It's just an act. You hate him after all."

"Alfie pull yourself together. It's just an act. You hate hi-"

"Are you okay?" Joshua said as he stole some glances at me while keeping his eyes out on the road.

"Wha- Yeah i'm fine." I said, eyes still out of the window. No- wait Alfie there's no reason to be scared. I mean- what's there to be scared of. You didn't do anything wrong. It's only because he was good-looking. Yup, thats it. Get it together Alfie.

"Were you crazy earlier on? Why did you do that? Now the whole school is going to know about this." I blurted out, this time fully facing him.

Joshua let out a gasp and apologised quickly. "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry if you felt uncomfortable, I didn't mean for you to feel uncomfor-"

"No it's not that." I cut him off, annoyed at how he apologises at everything. "It's just that I thought we agreed to keep this act to our families only but people at school was going to know sooner or later so whatever I guess."

"I'm sorry Alfie, I shouldn't have done that no matter what." Joshua added. "Although I would like to thank you for giving those girls at school a reason to not bother me anymore, so thank you."

I stifled a laughter as I replied, "Well you're welcome!"

At dinner, my parents told Alice and I that our annual summer villa stay at the town's beach (Suns beach) would be this weeknd. My mother told me to bring Joshua along although I tried rejecting the offer, telling them this was a family event thing but they did not want to hear of it. What's even worse is that Noah and his parents are coming over to stay too. With Zia, of course. So maybe bringing Joshua along wouldn't be too bad of a thing.

The next day, I asked Joshua out to an Italian restaurant for lunch to tell him about the news. Joshua agreed even though I told him that it was alright if he already had plans but as always he agreed. I told him more details and how Noah and Zia were also coming along.

After lunch, we walked through a narrow pathway near the roadside to head back to Joshua's car. In a split second, I felt a warm touch at my shoulders as a spurge of force sent me into the innerside of the walkway. Looking at Joshua, he continued walking, looking out for cars. I felt heat forming on my cheeks as we continued walking. "Alfie calm down he's just a gentleman, all he did was touched your shoulder, he didn't kiss you."

-------------------------------------

Friday arrived earlier than usual. I pulled my luggage and carriers into the garage and helped the helpers to load the baggage into the family car. Soon, we were headed to the Suns beach. I used to look forward every summer for this particular reason. Since young, my parents and Noah parents brought us here to stay every summer and that was probably how we became close. Ever since Noah left the country 2 years ago, his parents still came over every summer to spend time with us. This was the first time where I was dreading to head to the Suns beach. Younger me would never believe what I said.

Soon, we arrived. 2 cars were already parked in the driveway. "We must be the last ones." I thought. As we took out the baggage out of the car, Noah's parents, Uncle Han and Aunt Han came to greet us. Joshua also came out and took my luggage and helped me carried my duffer bag. Him wearing a sleeveless white tank top was also not helping with the situation. Shaking those thoughts away, I greeted Noah's parents before walking into the villa.

To my dismay, Noah and I had to share a room. My room. To be in fact. Looking at the perfectly made queen sized bed in the room, I sighed as I started unpacking my luggage.

"I can take the floor if you like." Joshua started, breaking the silence.

"I appreciate that." I replied, looking at him. Despite all these situations, he still had those warm eyes on him.

After an hour of winding down and unpacking, my parents suggested we head out to the beach for a picnic. Rejecting the idea, I stated that I felt dizzy and would like to rest in the room for awhile. They agreed as my father told me to cone out when I'm feeling better. Joshua decided to stay with me in the villia despite me telling him to go out to the beach as I knew how much he was looking forward to be at the beach.

"You know you can just go right? I'll be fine. It's just a little motion sickness from the car ride earlier on." I said as I laid on bed with my eyes closed, feeling Joshua's presence in the room.

"It's okay. I can always go tomorrow. Do you need water?" Joshua asked.

Too tired to even argue with him even further, I shook my head weakly and fell into deep slumber.

When I woke up, I was taken aback at the mesmerising orange-yellow sunset that fell onto the room. Looking around, I saw that Joshua had fell asleep on the mattress that was laid out on the floor. Carefully lifting the bedsheets, I stepped out on bed and made my way to the door, not wanting to wake Joshua up.

"Oh you're up." Joshua said tiredly just as I was about to open the door.

"Oh sorry for waking you up." I said, turning around.

"Do you feel better?" Joshua said as he got up.

"Yup. We should head down, its dinner time."

Joshua nodded as we headed down to the kitchen. My parents, Alice, Noah and Zia and his parents were already at the kitchen munching on some steak while chatting.

"Alfie, Joshua! come here and have some steak." My father pointed out as he patted his hand to motioned us to come over. My parents introduced Joshua to Noah and his parents and exchanged conversations for a while.

"I'm glad to hear that Alfie is doing well. Joshua is such a perfect fit for her." Aunt Han said as she smiled warmly at both of us. Giving a weak smile, I thanked her and continue biting on a piece of rib-eye steak.

"Definitely. Joshua is such a caring person. Handsome face and pretty manners. Oh, the heavens has bless me with such an amazing soon-to-be son-in law." My mother exclaimed. I noticed Noah's annoyed expression from across the table.

"What's so special about that. There are many guys out there who looks better than him." Noah pointed out as he shrugged his shoulders. Zia fed him a piece of steak as she added, "for example, you." she said as Noah ate the meat smiling back at her. Alice gave a puking expression as she stood further from them. "Get a room."

They were seriously such assholes. Initially, I thought that I would still be hung up over Noah when I heard that he was coming home for summer, which was the reasons why I tried avoiding him. But now, he just makes me regret my decision on even wasting time on him and even shedding my tears for him. Enough was enough. I was about to berate at his statement when I suddenly felt a warm hand on mine. It was Joshua. Shaking his head as he probably guessed that I was about to offend Noah, he pulled me back to my seat, holding my hand under the counter. I took a deep breath as I looked at him. Why does he always let people take advantage of him? And somehow, even though I was so upset and furious at that moment, his presence and touch calmed me down. Knowing my horrible temper and inability to control my emotions well, I have always thought that nothing really could calm me down until I met Joshua.

What was this man doing to me?

-------------------------------------

After dinner, I headed back to the room to wash up. My parents and Noah's parents was at the living room watching television. Alice was probably in her room watching Netflix or something and for Noah and Zia, they were probably in their room making out or some shit. As I was about to grab my towel to head to the bathroom, I spotted Joshua at our room's balcony.

Actually, I planned to have a talk with Joshua that night. But I planned to do it after everyone was asleep and we could finally have some silence in the house. But I guess I could talk to him right now and quickly get all the questions in my head answered.

"Hey." I said, stepping into the balcony.

"Oh hey. Look at the stars." Joshua replied, lifting his head up to admire the glowing stars surrounding the navy blue night sky. Yeah, the stars were beautiful and I would be admiring them too if I was not filled with distracting thoughts in my head. But right now, the stars were the least of my concerns.

"Don't you think I don't really know you that well?" I started, looking at him. This time, he turned his full attention towards me, titling his head a little.

"I mean." I continued. "You know so much about me, like you know my interests, my family, my ex and like almost everything but I know so little of you."

"So what do you want to know about?" He asked.

"Erm...I don't know. Tell me something I don't know about." I replied, standing closer beside him.

"Well..my ex-girlfriend cheated on me too." He answered truthfully. Raising my eyebrows, I looked at him confused. "But why? I mean you're so nice and caring and even if she was a bitch and just wanted your money, it's not like you're lacking in that."

"There was a period of time where my family was not doing too well in financial terms." Joshua admitted. "She left me during that time, I guess she just wanted to use me for money but I truly liked her then."

and for the first time, Joshua had a cold expression to his face.

"Oh wow...." I answered. "Im sorry. Hope you're okay now."

"It's okay, I've moved on long ago." Joshua says, breathing in the fresh scent of the breeze. The sound of the ocean waves in the distance made the mood less awkward and more calming.

"Joshua.."

"Hm?"

"You're way too kind."

"What?"

"You're too kind to everyone it's annoying."

Joshua looked at me mouth opened as if he was trying to say something but he couldn't form words.

"Wha- What do you mean?" He finally spoke.

"Like you allow people to take advantage of you, you agree to everything, you let people stomp all over you. For example, earlier on, when Noah insulted you, you should've just let me insult him back but you refused. You're too kind for this world and I absolutely hate you for that." I blurted out. It felt amazing after finally saying the words that were in my head for the past week.

"I don't want to start a bad blood between us, besides, it's just a small matt-"

"No it's not!" I said, voice louder this time. Joshua seems taken aback by my sudden break out. "It's pissing me off. Even in school, when we used to compete in tests or exams, when I get a higher score than you, you would not show any ounce of jealousy or anger. In fact, you smile at me and congratulate me with pure genuine on your face. Before you transferred, I used to be the one who's smart and pretty. The one who is the teacher's favourite. But ever since you came, everyone just ran to you. Yes, I was jealous okay! I hated you for stealing my title away, but you seemed so unbothered whenever I rolled my eyes at you or give you dirty looks. Worst of it all, you still smile at me. It makes me feel so bad of myself. Every time when you do well on a exam, the teachers would praise you in front of the class but when I do better than you, I don't even get a 'you did well, keep it up!' and you would always give it up to me when only both of us raise our hands to answer a question and you keep telling me I did well when I score better than you in an exam. What is your problem?"

"Alfi-"

"Can't you see i'm trying so hard to win back my reputation? But suddenly this rich man's son comes into our school and he is suddenly the main shit of the school. Worst of it all, you're not cocky at all and is the kindest person i've ever met! That day when you joined math tuition class, I was genuinely upset as the teachers teach really well there and I wanted to gatekeep it from you! Why can't you just say a 'i hate y-"

"Alfie." Joshua cut me off.

"Why are yo-"

"Alfie." This time, Joshua hold my shoulders, calming me down while looking deeply into my eyes. I hate how his eyes were still filled with passion after everything I've just said. My ears were filled with tears, face as red as a tomato, huffing and puffing.

"I'm sorry that I made you felt this way. I didn't meant to stole the spotlight away from you and I didn't know that every test or exam meant as a serious competition to you. Also, I've never hated you." Joshua said as he patted my back calmly to cool me down.

"And that's what I hate about you. I've treated you like shit but you always treat me so well. Why can't you just see me as your competitor and hate me too? I don't even know why I brought you into this mess and why you even agree to this, this is stupid." I said as tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably.

Joshua shook his head as he continued, "Not everything has to be a competition, Alfie. I know you're competitive but life isn't a competition. To all those that left you after I transferred, they are all horrible and blind people! You are so much more than you think, Alfie."

I smiled at his statement as he chuckled at me and added.

"As for why I agreed to this.....you know what, never mind, let's go inside it's getting chilly." Joshua said as we went back in together.

Maybe Joshua was right. Maybe I should not have treated everything as a competition. Maybe the thing I was battling with was my emotions after all.

Truth be told, even though I don't want to admit, I've never really hated Joshua. It was just the pressure I faced from my parents to be the best at everything that made me jealous of him. As I tossed around to my right and saw Joshua's sleeping figure on the mattress, I sighed as I closed my eyes, falling into deep sleep....

-------------------------------------

The next day begins with the gentle warmth of the sun casting a golden hue over everything. The air is crisp and filled with the symphony of the clear blue waves in the distance and rustling leaves. As I flutter my eyes open, I realised that Joshua was already up. Looking at the time on my phone - 10:48 AM, I stretched as I got out of bed to wash up.

As I took a piece of a pancake that was stacked on a plate at the kitchen counter, I placed some honey on it and sat down to enjoy them. Looking out, I saw Joshua playing badminton with the Dads. His black tank top made him look even more glistening under the morning sunlight. Oh his smile is gorgeous. I didn't even know I was admiring him until a shrieking voice boomed through the kitchen.

"Who took my mascara?" Jumping at my seat, I looked around to see Zia stomping into the kitchen. "Was it you?" She asked as she pointed at me.

Giving her a judging look, I furrowed my eyebrows as I defended myself. "Why the hell would I take your mascara. I didn't even stepped a foot in Noah's bedroom."

As if noticing something was off, Joshua opened the clear balcony door while Uncle Han and my dad walked in.

"What's the commotion?" Uncle Han asked, placing down the badminton racket.

"My mascara is gone!" Zia cried out.

Rolling my eyes, I went back to focusing on my pancakes, munching on them showing how unbothered I was. I was pretty jealous when I saw who Noah cheated on me with but honestly, there was nothing to be jealous of. Only someone with a pretty face. I'm kinda offended he even left me for her. That's insulting. Walking away, Zia continued to stomp up the stairs, continuing the hunt for her mascara.

Uncle Han shaked his head and commented, "I hope you won't get offended, Joshua but when my son was dating Alfie, I was really happy. The fact that my son cheated on Alfie with this....girl made me really disappointed of him. However, i'm glad Alfie has found her true happiness. Joshua, you must treat her well."

Joshua smiled as he replied, "I definitely will Uncle Han."

The next few hours went by in a flash, Alice was at the beach, taking pictures and watching the lifeguard on duty because he was hot or something. The mothers was watching a movie in the living room while the dads was at the entertainment room playing a match of chess. I was about to take a dip at the swimming pool when I saw Noah and Zia sitting at the edge of the pool, flirting with each other. Just great, my dreams of a relaxing day at the pool is now ruin. Turning around back into the house, I was taken aback by the sudden presence of Joshua, shirtless. He turned me around back to the pool and guided me there, leaving me stunned.

"Josh-" I stuttered.

"Just trust me." He said, holding my hand in his as he walked us to the other side of the pool. When Noah and Zia saw us, Noah ignored us and Zia rolled her eyes at us. As I stood at the side of the pool, Joshua threw a volleyball at my direction without warning, causing me to miss it.

"Hey!" I said, laughing as he stepped into the pool.

After a while, Alice came back and decided that Joshua and I should play a game of couple volleyball against Noah and Zia. We both agreed as our pride was on the line to beat each other. Especially Joshua, who seemed very eager to win against them. Pulling him to a corner, I whispered, making sure only both of us could hear, "You don't have to agree to this you know? Noah used to be the captain of the volleyball team." Joshua just smiled and answered, "don't worry."

The game started as Noah and Joshua was at the front while Zia and I at the back. And for the first time in my life, I say Noah sucks at volleyball. (younger me would not believe i could say something like that) Joshua was hella good at this. The way he is so agile to defend every attack aimed at him. How was he good at everything?

"What are you doing? Don't be embarrassing!" Zia shouted as she furrowed her eyebrows in annoyance at her boyfriend missing the ball.

It was clear who was the final winner. In fact, Zia left the game halfway due to embarrassment and Noah got out of the pool stomping into the house. I chuckled at their salty expressions and high fived with Joshua, complimenting him. "You totally carried. I didn't know you were good at volleyball too?"

He replied, "Oh there's a lot of things you don't know about me."

That night, we were laying in our beds (joshua was still on the floor) getting ready to call in for the night. I was scrolling through 小红书 while Joshua was on tiktok. We were enjoying our silent time and I really appreciate Joshua for being someone who also enjoys silent time as much as I do. It doesn't mean you have to communicate if you're in the same room and some people seem not to get that.

"I'm sleepy. I think i'm going to sleep soon." Joshua said, putting down the phone as he closed his eyes and massaged his arms. I knew his arms hurt from playing volleyball all afternoon and that the thin mattress laying on the floor is not helping either. Should I ask him to come and sleep on the bed tonight? Is that going to be weird? After contemplating for quite a while, I finally mustered up my courage.

"Erm..Joshua? Do you want to sleep on the bed?"

Joshua opened his eyes and looked up at me.

"N-No don't get the wrong idea, there's enough space on the bed and your arm probably hurts from playing volleyball with that asshole the whole afternoon because he doesn't want to admit defeat." I explained hastily.

Joshua gave me the warmest smile ever and I swear I melted at the spot. "Sure. Thank you." He replied, opening the covers on the other side and joining me on the comfortable soft bed. As we laid down on the same bed that night, the awkwardness of tension filled the air as I turned around to my side while Joshua was staring at the ceiling.

"Hey...erm Joshua?" I broke the silence.

"Hm?" He hummed in response.

"I'm planning to tell my family we have broken up by the end of summer." I said. Since we have finals this year, seniors have to return to school by July, which was in 2 weeks time.

There was a moment of silence in the room except for the crashing of waves outside as I waited for Joshua's response.

"Oh yeah." He replied dryly. Feeling quite disappointed with his sudden dryness in answer, I hugged the shared blanket tighter to my chest.

"Good Night Alfie."

"Good Night Joshua."

-------------------------------------

The rest of the villa staycation went by smoothly and as soon as I got back, I continued to grind on my studies, making sure I do not let any of my grade fall and to push up my GPA. Alice did not want to take up my family's business so that burden is suddenly mine. Although I do have a confirmed safe spot for me in the future, I still wanted to do well. Joshua and I never contacted for a while after the staycation. He was probably studying his ass off too, so I never made it a point to contact him first. (in case I was disturbing him) And soon, summer for us was over.

On the afternoon of the last day of summer, I texted Joshua to inform him about the breakup that was going to happen tonight. I waited all day for his reply, constantly checking up on my phone to see any notifications coming from him, only to no avail. "Oh well he must have saw the message I guess. He's just busy." I thought. It was 10:pm. Not wanting to push it any further, I carefully walked down the stairs, towards the living room where my parents were sitting down on the couch watching the daily 10pm news broadcast. Walking into the living room, my parents eyed my suspicious behaviour and turned their focus back into the living room.

"Joshua and I have broken up." I said, praying a hole would dig me in right there.

I swear the whole house shook a little when my mother jumped out of the couch and hollered. "What?"

My father stood up and turned the television off.

Not again.

"What do you mean yall have broken up? Why? Did he cheat on you? Did he not like you anymore? Alfie, did you cheat on him?" My mother flooded me with burning questions as I held my hands in defence. Alice was also somehow already in the living room too.

"No, listen to me." I said calmly. "It's our final year, Joshua and I are too busy for each other. That was the reason for the breakup."

Alice scoffed as she commented. "On the last day of summer? You think I believe you? It's as if you're his side chick for the summer. I fucking knew it, no way a man could have no flaws at all."

Oh god this wasn't going as how I expected to.

"He doesn't have another girl!" I defended.

"And how would you know that Alfie Hwang?" My mother added. "And even if you knew that, you should've just stayed with him, just use his money, they are dirty rich anyways!"

Oh my god. This is absolutely disgusting. As if on cue, my phone which was in my hands the whole time started vibrating furiously. Startled, I look down as I saw Joshua on the hotline. Quickly stating to my family that I needed to answer a call, I swiftly rushed up the stairs. I could still hear my mom's voice yelling for my name. Hot tears brimmed at my eyes as I shut the room door close.

Taking a few deep breaths, I closed my eyes while the phone was still ringing. How am I going to answer his call after all the shit I've put him through? Gaining back my confidence, I swiped the phone to answer and hold back my tears, trying to sound as if I wasn't sobbing a second ago.

"Alfie, are you free to meet right now?"

"Y-Yeah." I said, hoping my voice didn't sound too cracked. But I guess not.

"Are you crying?" Joshua asked. "Wait there, I'm coming."

"No wait-"

The call ended. There was no way my parents would let him in after whatever I said. Oh my god he's going to blame me for not explaining clearer to my parents and making him seem like an asshole. I rushed down the stairs as I placed at the entrance. When I saw his familiar black SUV at our garage, I ran out of the entrance, hoping none of my family members have noticed.

"Joshua, come here." I said, as I walked briskly towards the neighbourhood nearest park which was only a street away. I felt Joshua's presence next to my side in a second and felt those warm eyes on me. He bend down to look at my eyes while trying to keep my furious walking pace.

"Alfie." Joshua said, suddenly stopping in his tracks abruptly.

Feeling frustrated, I turned around and said, "Joshua, what are you doing? Follow me."

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why you're crying." Joshua said, keeping his composure.

"Joshua, I'll tell you later. Let's get out of this place first." I said for the second time, feeling a little more frustrated this time.

"I already told you. I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me why you're crying." Joshua spoke, more firmly this time.

Rolling my eyes in annoyance as my hot tears has also rolled down my cheeks, I blurted out in the heat of the moment. "I'm sorry."

Joshua raised one of his eyebrows as he walked over and asked, feeling flustered. "N-No wait, I don't understand why are you apologising?"

"Because you're being seen as an asshole all because of me!" I cried out, more tears flowing down this time. "You shouldn't have agreed on this, this was a bad idea."

"Alfie, hey." Joshua said as he gripped my chin softly to look up at him. "You shouldn't blame yourself that this situation happened. I don't care what other people think about me, they can say as many shit as they want to. I brought myself into this mess, so don't blame yourself, alright?"

"Then why did you agree to this?"

"Because I love you!"

There was an awful plain silence as I slowly looked up from the concrete to his endearing eyes. It's not fair even in situations like these, he looks good. Trying to process what he said as I opened my mouth but I couldn't seem to form the words.

As if taking the hint, Joshua added. "And not in the friendship way, I'm talking about as a person."

"What.." I mumbled, feeling faint.

"I've liked you since I've joined the school. Even before I joined the school, I've heard rumours on how smart you are and have always admired you for that. And as I expected, the rumours were true. I always wanted to get closer to you but you somehow seem to not like being around me. Here, right now the only reason I agreed to help you was because I like you."

"Joshua-"

"No, I think I love you."

The way he can say all these words as if the emotions were in his eyes and voice enticed me. I couldn't believe all these years I treated us as rivals but he didn't felt the same at all and now that he have mentioned it, I don't even want to face him anymore. There was a reason every time whenever he smiled at me, cheered me up when I didn't do well on an exam, praising me when I did well on a test but here I am foolishly thinking of him as my competitor and hating him when he was beside me all along cheering me on. All the hatred poured into him, he didn't even felt any anger towards me at all. How can I ever face him anymore?

"I'm sorry." I said, hurrying back to my house. I could hear Joshua's voice calling for my name in a distance but I couldn't turn back. I must not. As I slam myself into bed, I bursted into tears uncontrollably. To be honest, this summer break has made me change my opinions on Joshua. In fact, I might have also developed some feelings for him and as much as I don't want to admit it, I do enjoy his company and I liked him by my side. Moreover, I definitely didn't want summer to end. I've always thought it was only me who felt this way so I didn't want to make it awkward for him and it was probably my karma for hating him. But now that I know he has been always feeling this way for me, I couldn't help but feel that I have let him down again and again. No matter how many times I've treated him badly, he would always be on my side, always speaking up for me, always looking out for me.

As I unlocked my phone and saw the unopened messages from Joshua, I closed my eyes harder as more tears flowed down my face. I went to the first person I could think of - Noelle.

"Noelle...I fucked up."

--------------------------------

As summer ended and we came back to school, reality hits me quickly as my parents pressured me to do well for monthly tests and to prepare well for the final year exams. I also had to realise that Joshua was just a summer fling. I tried my best to avoid him in school and at tuition although sometimes I can feel his eyes on me. My parents also forced me to delete Joshua's number and to forget about him completely. "He's just an asshole who picked you up as a side chick for summer. Get over it." They would say. As days got by, I found myself even more stressed about the upcoming final papers. It got so unhealthy that I would often skipped meals just to have more time studying. Sometimes, I would even wake up at 4:AM in the early morning just to study before going to school. Noah and his family received the news fast which didn't stopped him from rubbing into my face when his family visited for dinner which made me almost punched him in the face right there. However, despite all that, I seem to be forgetting about Joshua, which was a good thing - well at least I believed so. Was I happy? Definitely not.

We were having our monthly test today. As usual, I studied until 3:AM, had a restless night, and forced myself to wake up at 5:AM to get some revision and work done. As I was holding my formula sheet while walking down the hallways, Noelle joined me halfway.

"Hey!" she greeted me with her usual cheerful smile.

"Hi." I replied, my focus still on my formula sheet, repeating the formulas in my brain over and over again.

"Didn't you wake up at 5AM just to study today? Take a break." Noelle said, as she snatched my formula sheet away from me.

"Just in case I forget later on, that's the key to memorising bae." I replied while rolling my eyes as I snatched the paper back from her.

"Whatever you say." Noelle said, scrolling her phone.

Oh how I should have listened to Noelle. To my dismay, once the test started, my mind went completely blank. All the endless studying and revision that I have done over the past few weeks had gone to waste. Holding back the tears, I closed my eyes as I clutched my palms together, trying to recall the formulas and techniques. However, nothing seemed to make sense and connect.

"No no no no...Alfie get yourself together!" I thought to myself, trying to recall again. But nothing seemed to make sense once again. As the first tear fell onto the paper, creating a stain, I knew it was over for me. Placing my hands over my face, I tried to stopped the tears that kept falling down my face while recalling the formulas. All the equations and formulas just came crashing down together, not making sense at all. Feeling distressed, I took a deep breath in and out, looking around the classroom to see everyone answering the questions calmly. This did not made it any better.

"Alfie, are you okay?" The examiner, Ms Yoo asked as she looked at me with concern. This made the whole class (including Joshua) to look at me. Nodding my head, I looked down at the damp paper as I held my pen firmly. I couldn't breathe at all. I need to get out.....

Once the paper ended, I grabbed my bag as I rushed out of the school. Breathing heavily, I tried to stabilise my breathing as I finally let go of the tears that I've been holding back an hour ago. Upon seeing this, Noelle immediately embraced me into a hug, patting my back as she asked, "Alfie! Are you okay? Don't cry, please..."

"I fucked it up so bad...." I sad as I sobbed into her chest.

She patted my back as she hugged me tighter and repeated the words. "It's going to be okay."

Afterwards, Noelle took me to our comfort ice cream shop to cheer me up. It kinda worked, I guess. Even though I was so underserving of that sweet and exotic mango sorbet.

"My parents are going to disowned me..." I trailed off, scooping the ice cream repeatedly.

"What if I talk to them?" Noelle suggested. "They wouldn't scold me right?"

"Yeah but the war would start after you leave anyways."

"Do you want to come to my place for awhile?" Noelle asked.

"I kinda want to go to the bar alone tonight." I said, "I'm in need of alcohol in my digestive system right now." I love Noelle with all my heart but as of right now, I need to be alone.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay? I can accompany you just in case."

"I'll be fine. Don't worry." I replied as I flashed her a reassuring smile.

"Okay then. But you have to call me if anything happens and you have to pick up my call, okay?" She said, her tone firm.

"Mm, I will."

As I sat at the bar counter, face already flushed red while drowning myself with lemon lime beer. You see, I'm not an alcoholic person and it may be embarrassing but I prefer my alcohol to be less bitter because I get red easily and my alcohol tolerance is pretty low, I would say. I was preparing myself for some alone time that night but I guess not.

An unfamiliar hand landed on my right shoulder as I looked to my left to see a middle aged man who was probably in his 40s. Cursing under my breath, I rolled my eyes as I swapped his hand off my shoulder, hoping he take the fucking hint by now because I really don't want to deal with his bullshit tonight.

"Why so angsty, Miss?" He asked in a cheeky tone as he landed his hand on my shoulder again. Okay I am not doing this today. Swapping his hand off my shoulder harder this time, I stood up in annoyance and shouted, "Get the fuck off me! I'm not interested to fuck so find other people!"

He scoffed as he grabbed me in an instant as he whispered, "You don't have a fucking say in this." Trying to lose his grip on me, I kicked his leg, causing him to fall on the floor. In a swift second, a hard slap landed on my cheek as I shouted, "What the fuck is wrong with you, fucking pervert!" By this time, many people were surrounding us, trying to see what the commotion was about.

Little did I know that at the same time, Noelle was dialling my phone which was picked up by the bar tender who witnessed what happened. "Please come over! Your friend is fighting with a pervertic and unreasonable man. I'm just a bar tender, I can't help her."

Just as the man was about to land his second slap on me, I closed my eyes as I held my hands out in defence, protecting myself. However, I heard the man screaming in pain. "Who are you? A-ah! Let go bastard!"

Slowly opening my eyes, I was greeted with the familiar sight of the infamous Joshua Hong. I stood rooted to the ground as I saw Joshua twist the arm of the man and grabbing his collar. "Who the fuck are you to hit a girl? She's clearly not interested in you." Joshua said as he landed a hard punch on him, causing him to scream at Joshua as he hurried off in embarrassment.

Why was Joshua even here anyways?

Not sparing any glance at Joshua, I grabbed my bag from the seat and my phone and walked out of the bar.

"Alfie!" Joshua called out as he followed me out of the bar. He held my hand firmly which forced me to turn around to look at him. Oh his face, how I have missed him. I was doing just fine, why did he have to come back to my life?

"Alfie-"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I cried out as my tears rolled down my cheeks and I felt the heat from the bruise on my face and the alcohol I had earlier on. I probably looked like a mess right now while Joshua still looked perfectly fine with his perfectly tousled black hair.

"I was doing alright until you came along! Why can't you just make me forget you!"

"Alfie, I-"

"Look, if you're here to mock me for getting perved on then fuck off because i'm having a really shitty day!"

"I love you."

Huffing and puffing from all the crying, I looked at him as I felt the tears rolled down my cheeks even more. He continued looking at me with his warm eyes and calm facial expression, as if I was the most precious thing in the world.

"I love you so much that I'm not going to give up on you." He said.

"Shua-"

"I love you so much that I'm not willing to let you go. So, please if you feel the same, don't forget me. I'll give you as much time as you want, just- just don't forget about me."

"B-But I don't understand! After what I have done to you? after what they say about you?" I asked, half asking half shouting to be exact.

"Who cares what they say about me. As I said, I brought myself into this mess, It's not your fault. If its anything, it's instead my fault." He repiles.

How can he be so caring after everything? I bursted into even more tears as I gave in and cried into his chest, hitting him lightly. "Are you crazy? Why are you so stupid!" I could feel his chest vibrate as he smiled and replied, "Hit me as much as you want, let it all out."

"Are you not scared I leave you one day?" I asked, looking up at him with puffy eyes and a tear stained on my cheek.

"Then I'll continue liking you and wait until you like me again." He answered, smiling at me back.

"You fool." I said as I wrapped my hands around his waist tighter. He patted my head gently as he pushed back a few strands of hair behind my ear.

Joshua was indeed someone I couldn't avoid in my this lifetime. No matter which road or path I take, they all lead me back to him.

-------------------------------------

It was already 2am. Joshua insisted to talk to my parents even though I tried to persuade him not to. As we pulled up at the driveway, I could feel the tears and brewing argument that was going to happen later on as soon as I noticed the ground floor lights were still on.

"Alfie Hwang where have you been?" My mother hollered as soon she heard the door unlock. "Anyways, how's the test today? You better get a good grade I tell you! I didn't sent you to tuitions for nothing!"

Placing my bag down on the bench, I sighed as I watched Joshua cautiously walked into the entrance.

My mother continued, "What's this asshole doing here? Don't tell me you came home late because you slept with him!"

"Hello Auntie Hwang." Joshua started as his face evolved into a warm smile.

"Wipe that fake smile away from your face pretty boy. Leave my daughter alone." My mother said as she pointed a finger at Joshua.

"Mom!" I called out. "Joshua isn't that type of guy."

"Did he brainwash you or something? You were his summer side chick, get a gr-"

"No! I lied to you." I admitted as I hung my head low.

"What?" My mother asked, raising an eyebrow. "You better explain yourself right now Alfie."

I started elaborating everything that had happened right from the start as my mother listened to me with bated breath. She seemed annoyed, furious, frustrated and confused all at the same time. However, I felt relieved to be able to finally to not lie to my family anymore.

Thankfully, my mother did not get too upset that night. She apologised to Joshua and scolded me for lying to her. She still scolded me harshly for not being able to do the test today though - I guess some things just don't change. Joshua gave me two thumbs up signs and smiled at me with his crescent moon shaped eyes. And for the first time in my life, I didn't cry while arguing with my parents all because he was there.

Word spread fast. Soon, my whole family, Noah and his family and even my parents friends all knew about this situation. Was it embarrassing? Of course but knowing I had Joshua on my side made the situation a lot better. In fact, Joshua started to stand up for himself whenever Noah would throw insults at him. And of course, he would always defend me.

Joshua was the perfect boyfriend any girl could ever ask for. The way he's so observant and would notice whenever I am feeling down. The way he would always sing Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 every time we go for karaoke sessions. The way we would have unserious debates every single time. The way he plays basketball so passionately. The way he would always bring me out to eat my favourite foods and would never let me pay. The way he would often cook his hometown cuisines for me to try out because he knows I can't do myself any justice in the kitchen.

Time do flies by fast. From studying for tests and exams to graduating university soon. If you told me a year ago Joshua Hong would be my boyfriend, the one by my side, I would laugh at your face hysterically and bet my whole bank account and in the end lose everything.

This summer has taught me lots of lessons and how the unexpected can really come true sometimes. Most of all, I know that Joshua Hong was the one who was there for me since the very start and will be there with me till the very end. These are words that may be cliche or may seem nothing but from the bottom of my heart, thank you and

I love you Joshua.

#seventeen #joshua #joshua angst #kpop #svt angst #svt x reader #joshua hong #svt imagines #kpop angst #kpop imagines #svt #joshua hong angst #svt fanfic #svt joshua

[rmd-writes]

2023 writing round up

thanks for the tags @welcometololaland @reyesstrand @liminalmemories21 @jesuisici33 @hippolotamus

Rules: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones you're most excited about.

January

Your Place or Mine? Tarlos | E | 4.5k

Smutty fake dating, roommates to lovers college au follow up

Precious Love Tarlos | M | 11.6k

Five times TK thinks he doesn’t deserve love and one time he knows he does

these are the moments i cherish Tarlos | E | 1.9k

just some soft, tender husbands smut

February

the strong will never fall Tarlos | E | 1.6k

A 4x04 coda

and this is romance, let’s dance Tarlos | E | 7.7k

five times TK couldn't find the rhythm, and one time he does aka the TK can't dance fic

March

I gotta handle you just right Tarlos | E | 10.2k

Part 3 of the Tarlos gym au (in which they finally make it out of the gym)

May

to love is to undress our names Tarlos | E | 3.8k

a smutty 4x16 coda

June

The Grindr Toolbox: A Guide to Getting Railed

a trio of fics (series linked above) written for the same Grindr meet-cute au prompt:

A Helping Hand Tarlos | E | 6.7k

This is Not a Drill Schitt’s Creek | E | 7.3k

Are You Screwing with Me? firstprince | E | 6.5k

too stressed to undress Tarlos | E | 3k

an attempt at crack fic that turned into domestic fluff and smut

August

the key that unlocked me firstprince | E | 3.8k

Berlin, from Henry’s POV

September

(Un)professional Services Tarlos | E | 63k

The Tarlos professional services AU aka Lola and Rae created chaos and no one stopped us

October

get fucked (or die trying) firstprince | E | 7.5k

Alex learns the true meaning of procrastination

December

this year i will fall firstprince | E | 9.8k

tagging: @tintagel-or-cockleshells @clottedcreamfudge @everwitch-magiks @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @sherryvalli @kiwiana-writes @stereopticons @goodways @orchidscript @cricketnationrise @cha-melodius @rosedavid @three-drink-amy @lightningboltreader and an open tag

#rmd writes #tarlos fic #911 lone star fic #RWRB fic #firstprince fic #sc fic #schitt’s creek fic

[just-existing-as-you-do-blog]

I was not prepared for Ocie to explicitly imply that she thinks Centross killed himself. It makes sense that she would think that though. Notably Rae doesn't think that which is interesting because he saved Centross from that previously. He keeps saying that he "doesn't know what happened." While Ocie says "I think I know what happened." Also it's interesting that when Ocie learned about Chaos she took Oscar when she ran from home, but this time she doesn't know she has someone to blame so instead of making Ulysses (cause vorogo) or Ven (cause Chaos) stay away from Oscar she has decided that she needs to stay away.

Oscar is probably going to be really mad at her when she comes back, like he was mad at Jerry because of the Reset. Also Ocie is hitting the stages of grief like a textbook so far so she's been through denial anger bargaining and she's just vibing in bargaining. Like if she abandons Oscar and Jerry then she won't have to watch them die. Even Momboo, the only other person like her is leaving and she can't stop it.

In conclusion this is very in charecter for Kai but it makes me sad.

#fable smp #fablesmp #fsmp

[kagejima]

Wakatoshi doesn’t really care much for pet names , he’ll respond to anything you call him. However, the way his cock twitches and hardens when you call him “Sir” or “Ace” doesn’t go unnoticed by you, him and the friends around you.

rae's notes: i am catching up on old themed day submissions! the themed days are still on hiatus until September 11th!

why am i always listening to vedo when i write these, huh?? why did i listen to "daddy dior" the whole time i wrote this, huh????

(reader is short and reader is female!)

Wakatoshi who doesn't care for pet names or nicknames in general. He lets people do what they want, but he still thinks they're kind of tacky, and the displeasure on his face lets people know to not try it again. The closest anybody has ever gotten is Tendou who sometimes calls him "Toshi", and Wakatoshi has basically resigned to the fact that he's known as "Ushiwaka".

Wakatoshi who learns very quickly that you love writing and you love words when he meets you through Tobio. Heck, your love language is words of affirmation, and since he's terrible at expressing himself, he's not sure how to even talk to you.

Wakatoshi who doesn't know how to respond when you wish specifically him luck as you drop by the Adlers locker room for the next few games in order to give Tobio some pre-game snacks to give to the rest of the teammates.

Wakatoshi who doesn't know how to respond when you tell him you'll be cheering him on.

Wakatoshi who doesn't know how to respond to the silly little poster board sign you made with his name and jersey number on it, covered in all sorts of little hearts and other designs and the letters just absolutely drenched in glitter.

Wakatoshi who doesn't know how to respond as you shower him with praise after they win, telling him how strong he is and how well he did. He thinks it's cute though because you don't know a damn thing about volleyball, and here you are rattling off terms you're definitely using wrong.

Wakatoshi who hears you call him "Ace" somewhere in the middle of it (probably the only term you've used correctly), and something in him switches.

Wakatoshi who is embarrassed about how hard he gets and awkwardly refuses your hug when you go to, feeling terrible that you're blinking up at him and wondering if you said something to upset him.

Wakatoshi who spends too much time in the locker room after the game, taking his time, hoping you'll have gone home already. He doesn't know what came over him - he feels like a pervert. There you were just trying to be sweet and congratulate him, and he got a massive boner at you saying a single word.

Wakatoshi who is packing up his stuff so much slower than usual, and is interrupted by Tobio approaching him. Tobio is usually the last one out, so it's not surprising to Wakatoshi that he's still here, but this time he looks a little upset.

"Will you come out already?! She says she won't take me home until she can talk to you." Tobio explains.

Wakatoshi who simply nods in response, continuing the same slow pace of packing up his things. He's going to have to face you eventually, but he doesn't know what he's going to say when he sees you, because there's the possibility you saw.

Wakatoshi who throws his bag over his shoulder and finally emerges from the locker room, seeing you leaning against the wall opposite the door.

Wakatoshi who's body stiffens as you start genuinely apologizing to him, telling him you had no idea you were using all the terms wrong and that you're embarrassed about it and you're saying, "I know this thing is like your whole life, ya know? So I'm sorry! I'll try to learn more!"

Wakatoshi who can't stop his mouth, telling you that he usually comes in an hour before actual practices, and if you want to, he would love to teach you everything about it.

Wakatoshi who blushes when you raise an eyebrow and tell him, "Well, I can't refuse an offer from someone who was one of the top aces in Japan now can I?"

Wakatoshi who smiles warmly down at you, thinking that it's cute that you've obviously done research on him at the very least.

Wakatoshi who can finally speak properly to you, now that you're wanting to speak his language.

"Yeah, I guess you can't, can you?"

#🎶: here comes the queue #ushijima #ushijima smut #ushijima x you #ushijima x reader #NDJSJFJSKXJKSMXN #ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR GIGGLING!!!!!!!

[spider-jaysart]

What are some songs that remind u of Jon or jondami?

@dunkinsthings

Ooooh I have a good few of them in my list!!!

(Now updated with more!!!)

For Damijon:

Stick together by Elijah N

Be with you by Mondays (feat. Lucy)

Pumping up clouds by Urban Cone

Sunroof by Nicky Youre & dazy (Damian's pov)

I really like you by Carly Rae Jespen (for Jon's pov)

Just friends by Jordy

Feelings by Lauv

I like me better by Lauv (Damian's pov)

Oath by Cher Lloyd

With ur love by Cher Lloyd

Rock N roll by Avril Lavigne

You're my only shorty by Demi Lovato (Jon's pov because Damian's the shorty lol :3 I also like to headcanon that Jon just sings this song to him sometimes as a joke and Damian will get annoyed and try to tell him to cut it out, while blushing red all over his face lol)

Love you like that by Dagny (Damian's pov)

Man I think I love her by Stereo Skyline

Stupid for you by Waterparks (These two care so much about eachother that they'll do anything for one another lol, so this one also really fits them)

Love like woe by The Ready Set

La Da Dee by Cody Simpson

Hideaway by Grace Vanderwaal

Chasing fire by Lauv

One that got away by Nerdout

Youth by Troye Sivan

You by Axol & Alex Skrindo

Iyiyi by Cody Simpson (feat. Flo Rida) (Jon's pov, cause whenever he's not with Damian, he just can't stop talking or thinking about him in canon lol, which is just so cute💗)

Rollercoaster by Bleachers

Charlie be quiet by Charlie Puth (when they're too scared to confess their feelings to eachother due to the fear that they'll ruin their friendship)

Lean on me by Cheat codes & Tinashe

Good time by Owl City (feat. Carly Rae Jespen)

Sunflower by Post Malone & Swae Lee

Rise by Jonas Blue (feat. Jack and Jack)

Marry me by Jason Derulo (when they're adults)

Angst ones for them that remind me a lot about the age up and how it also changed their relationship:

Everything by Diamond Eyes (This ones my fave angst song for them)

As it was by Harry Styles

Summertime sadness by Lana Del Rey

Do it all over by Cheat Codes (feat. Marc E. Bassy)

Stay by Alessia Cara

When you're gone by Shawn Mendes

Getting over you by Lauv

Ghost by Halsey mashed up with Thunder by Imagine dragons (mixed by GINGERGREEN 'returns on YouTube)

Heat waves by Glass Animals

Watching him fade away by Mac DeMarco

Just a dream by Nelly

For Jon:

Sunshine by OneRepublic

Live while we're young by One Direction

I gotta feeling by Black Eyed Peas

Post Malone by Sam Feldt (feat. Rani) (this one also reminds me of him and Damian too)

Journey to the lowest place on earth by Alec Benjamin (for the age up angst)

(I'm sure I've probably got more for him, but I think I just kind of forgot some of them for now)

And that's all of them!

Thank you for the ask!! I really enjoyed sharing these!!! :D

#Damijon #Jondami #Damian wayne #Jon kent #Damian al ghul #Jonathan kent #Damian al ghul wayne #Jonathan samuel kent #Supersons #Super sons #Jon el #Damian wayne x jon kent #Damian x jon #songs #Robin #Superboy #spider-jaysart asks

[evilsystemm]

Evil system blog information

We're a DID system of (fluctuating) 15-20 alters. We're white british, AFAB and bodily 17.

Simply plural: evilsystemm

Diagnosed with:

Autism spectrum disorder

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

Sensory processing disorder

Oppositional defiance disorder

Major depressive disorder (currently being diagnosed)

Situational mutism

Self diagnosed:

Borderline personality disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder

Questioning bipolar 1, reluctant to say we have it

traits of other PDs

We will not be obligated to explain our self diagnoses to anyone.

Basic details on relevant alters

some may make their own introduction posts

[🌃] Liam | He/Him (#🌃)

[🎭] Aries | He/They (#🎭)

[💎] Luci | She/He (#💎🎩)

[🩷] Cel | She/Bun/Love (#🩷)

[💙] Nicole | She/Her (#💙)

[🌹] Emmeline | She/Zher/They

[🎉] Pixel | Xe/It (#🎉)

[🪼] Rae/Ava | She/Her

[🌈] Rumi | They/Bun/Zom (#🌈)

Not all pronouns listed here as some wouldn't fit.

General beliefs, alignments I guess

We are collectively anti-capitalist and most of us identify as Marxist and/or communist.

We're pro palestine, those who aren't are fine to interact as long as you DO NOT spread zionist ideology here.

We have differing opinions on endogenic systems depending on the alter, but most of us wish to see endogenic systems have their own space away from traumagenic systems whether they exist or not. If you identify as endogenic you are welcome to interact with us as long as you're respectful. We will ensure that alters who may be disrespectful towards you are not enacting this.

We're pro neo and xeno pronouns and some of us use them ourselves.

Anti comshipper but respectful and sympathetic towards underage comshippers. Avoid interacting if you're a comshipper as it's incredibly triggering for some of us. (Guys stop having " anti proship DNI " in your bio and then following and interacting with me. I AM ANTI PROSHIP leave me alone)

Anti radqueer and transID. Those of you who reblog my posts without actually having the disorders or traits of the disorders will be blocked, I don't appreciate my thoughts being used to uplift such things.

Generally dissaproving of nihilists, antinatalists and eco fascists HOWEVER I cannot speak for the entire system as some of us probably identify with those labels, and im understanding that those beliefs often result from trauma. Free to interact if you're in those categories but be aware your ideas may be subject to scrutiny.

If you romanticise or sexualise BPD, DNI!!

Narc abuse believers, you're welcome to interact but I will be making an effort to change your minds and if you upset any of our alters you will be blocked.

We don't believe singular alters can have PDs that the rest of the system does not, if you believe that, feel free to interact but I will be judging you. /hj /lh

Other cluster Bs please interact!!!! We have a special interest in PDs and would love to get to know the disorders better (esp. ASPD and HPD). Plus, we ruined all our relationships during a potential? manic episode so friends would be super cool.

there's probably more but I can't think of anything at current

Interests, fandoms

Most of the system has a special interest in fall out boy (the band) and can name almost every song, album etc. in chronological order (i'll take any excuse to brag about this).

As previously mentioned, special interest in personality disorders.

We take A level sociology which ties in really nicely with our politics special interest so we talk about that quite often.

We write essays from time to time about things we enjoy and/or feel strongly about.

Cel is " normal " about neon genesis evangelion (she is not).

Rumi likes Doctor Who.

Liam is a passive (feral. obsessed. insane.) enjoyer of Alice in Borderland, both the manga and the show.

Pixel likes My little pony and My chemical romance (best not to question it).

We have a special interest in typology (enneagram, MBTI, instinct stacking) with pixel being the most interested in it but knowledge spans across the system.

I think that's almost everything covered, I'll update this in future if I think of anything else. This was written by Liam.

#actually npd #npd safe #did system #npd #cluster b #fob #traumagenic system #system stuff #plural system #plurality #actually bpd #bpd #actually narcissistic #fall out boy #alice in borderland #hpd safe #aspd safe #🌃 #🎭 #💎🎩 #🌈 #🩷

[rae-pss]

— RAE'S NOTE: this is a reposting from my old account. i've listening to this ai cover of kars for more than an hour for sure. the point, i can't stop thinking about he singing it to reader. in itself, what they say about the origin of the song is too beautiful and sad, but hey i've to make a version for this pillar man for the sake of my mental stability.

plainly KARS falling in love with someone whom he saw during one night. someone who his heart stole with a simple glance and whom he tries to court from that moment on. like this, until they accepted him and with whom he ended up marrying.

one thing leads to another and, as we all know, KARS ends up killing his entire race except for his companion and two babies. and, yes, sadly, and in a moment that he himself didn't realize, his knife pierced their bodie and between tears, the only ones that he ever shed, he sang his goodbyes to them.

leaving their body in a beautiful field of lilies near a river, so the softness of the flowers and the calm sound of the waters would take them to whatever is on the other side.

#— thoughts. #— jjba. #i had to repost this 'cause i'm genuely so in love with it #kars jjba #kars jojo #kars #jjba kars #jojo kars #kars x reader #kars x you #kars x y/n #jjba x reader