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judehayward · 4 years

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lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music....

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight.......

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

#ruhqintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #drugs tw

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umbraastaff · 5 years

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I’ve just been thinking--it’s about time I make a proper index for my TAZ fics, huh? Also contains: mini-series, ficlets, goof posts, and lyric comics.

(All of the fics are rated G, or T at most for McElroy-appropriate language.)

FICS

I Saw Seven Bounties | Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends, Complete | Mostly lighthearted, episodic recounting of Kravitz and Barry’s rivalry throughout those first twelve years on Faerun. 24K. -->Extras: Lich Eyes, Fantasy Starbucks, Alt POV for Chapter 1 & Chapter 5, Sorry

They Say Fire Took Phandalin | Small-town supernatural/sorta-haunted-house AU | Fresh out of grad school, Barry Bluejeans takes a job and a house in the rural nowhere-town of Phandalin. And it’s not like he thought fitting in would be a walk in the park, but the people there all act really weird, and it’s almost like they’re expecting something of him, too. 11K/~20K.

What Can’t Be Done Alone (Detective Squad) | Canon Divergent, Found Family, Fluff | AU where the voidfish works a little better, and Angus never finds the Bureau. Instead, he finds a strange lich in a cave, and he most certainly continues to work this case and not gradually get adopted instead. 18K/~22K. -->Extras: Drangus AU Oneshot

If I Wanted to be Funny I’d Name This Fic “The Time Belt” | Futuristic sci-fi AU feat. time travel | Taako meets the only people in years who recognize the Institute’s name. Known time criminal Barry Bluejeans continues to evade law enforcement. 2K/??.

Overgrowth / Undercurrent | Roleswap AU, Johnchurch, Pining, Twoshot, Happy ending optional | Overgrowth is a oneshot that follows John, the Starblaster’s chief diplomat, through a series of parleys with Merle, the center of the plane-consuming mass of plants that’s been chasing his crew. Undercurrent is a sequel about their post-canon reunion. 4K + 6K. --> Extras: PLAYLIST by @merle-casts-zone-of-truth

Davenport Remembers | Post-canon, Oneshot | Davenport meets with his crew members to try to reconcile his anger with Lucretia, or to decide whether he should. 1.5K.

MINI-SERIES

AU Where Taako is a Lich - Pretty much what it says on the tin here, folks!

Baritz (ask series) - A fusion of Barry and Kravitz, who took over my blog and answered asks for a while. (He originated in the Gallows/S&S lyric comic.)

Good Adventures (Good Omens crossover) - The Antichrist’s wishes summon the wrong boatful of aliens. Thankfully, it seems they’re apocalypse experts. [with plot-ideas help from @avijohann.]

Omen Zone (Good Omens crossover 2) - Barry is a demon. Kravitz is an angel. Kravitz probably won’t ever admit that they’re friends.

Pokémon: Century Version (Pokémon crossover) - Stolen Century AU where they’re all pokémon trainers. Faerun spin-off: Double Trouble

Till Death, Don’t Let’s Start - Barry fucks up. Kravitz is present.

Very Normal Blog Posts (ask series) - In which Garfield is not at all dangerous, and I am perfectly fine. <alt: chronological link - desktop only>

COMICS & ART

Gallows/Steady and Stronger (Double lyric comic) - Canon-divergent AU where, as the world is ending, Barry gives up to Kravitz. [Image description version]

[Lyric Comics] - Other, shorter lyric comics based on single verses of songs.

Dear Scientist’s Log (series) - Illustrated ship logs from Barry J. Bluejeans.

Movie Madness (Comic) - Barry obsesses over the unforgivable.

Palette Prompts (Arts) - Art from art meme prompts.

Pregananant (goof comic) - You know the one.

REAPER (Comic) - Baritz fuses with Lup.

These Jeans? (Animatic) - Barry advertises jeans.

They’re Both Tessa Thompson (Comic) - Lucretia has a nightmare. Barry reassures her.

War (Goof comic) - prompt: "taakitz with CAT”

What’s bigger than this? - The Red Robe.

FICLETS

Back Soon - Kravitz leaves a note with unfortunate wording.

Bodyswap: Barry & Davenport - During Wonderland.

Casual - AU where the red robe talks like a normal person.

Command - Barry misuses his magic.

Davenport - There’s something unsettling about that butler.

Hangin’ Out - Lup and Magnus.

Harvest - Roleswap AU: Barry is the Hunger.

Healing Necromancy - Merle tries to teach Barry some tricks.

Hope - Barry knows she’s still out there.

How Long? - Taako is frustrated.

In Pieces - The staff.

Liches Forget Too - AU.

Lucretia Forgets - In which there was a mistake with the voidfish ichor.

Lup’s Robe - Gifts from Taako.

Mourning Glories - The flowers in Merle’s beard.

New Years - Celebrations and fears.

Parole - Barry and Kravitz bonding hours.

Phone a Friend - Baritz (the fusion from Gallows/S&S) meets Angus.

Raising the Dead - Barry has to use his crew members’ corpses. [sequel]

Robbie...? - Magnus breaks into the brig immediately after Petals to the Metal.

Second Apocalypse - Based on that one party liveshow. What was the rest of the crew doing, again?

3 Sentence Fics - Pairing + AU prompts.

Smartstone - Lup gets stuck in a Stone of Far Speech, instead.

Stir Crazy - Barry waiting for a new body to grow. Thoughts of Lucretia.

Writing Things Down - In case you forget (again).

You Remember - Taako remembers.

PROMINENT GOOFS

Barry’s Dead - But he’s fine! Calm down!

Character Development - Joke’s on you, DM!

Crystal Kingdom - An absolutely bonkers arc.

Dealer - Merle pun.

Decapitate Me - for making this post

Don’t Care - Taako during the finale. [bonus]

Epilogue - Bracer struggles. [bonus: 1, 2]

Explain the Hunger (Good Omens crossover) - Magnus explains the hunger to Aziraphale and Crowley. They react in varying ways. [with cursed art contributions from @avijohann and @mspainttaz]

Fifteen Dollars - Plus interest. [Bonus]

Fullmetal Kingdom - They’re the same, right?

Gender - And lack of roles.

Gnomes Don’t Exist - They’re all aliens, actually.

Hot Diggity Shit - Been a while.

Icon Confusion - The saga of people thinking my icon is a carrot. [chrono link - desktop only]

Incomprehensible Denim - Jeff Angel’s illegal pants.

In Case it Changes Anything - Taako, Kravitz, and lies.

Irresponsible Teens - Magnus and Lucretia get into trouble.

I Saw Seven Nerds - That’s the post.

Gogurt - Taako’s crimes.

Learning to Drive - i.e. Barry & Davenport Bonding(?) Hours.

Live Shows - The general mood.

Lucretia’s Efforts - A proper meme? On my TAZ blog?

Lup Said No Thanks - That time Magnus was in a tree.

Magnus’ Death - So many close calls.

Nearest Middle-Aged Woman - Clint’s characters’ friends.

Necromancy? - You must be mistaken!

Ned’s Aliases - The Truth.

Pirate Debt - Davenport during that one liveshow.

Punch Squad - SQUAD!

Reaper Cloak - Thoughts.

Relic Names - She probably changed them.

Responsible Necromancy - Good and bad ideas.

Resume - It’s not like they thought it would be relevant.

Schools of Magic - And the Sash was what, again?

Self Care - Respect the dead, please.

Server Shenaniganry (art) - TAAKO THE CAT, NO!

Soulmate AU - Where your soulmate’s greatest enemy is on your wrist. [alt]

Stern’s Truth - You Know.

Taako’s Last Name - Taako’s last name.

Team Composition - The post where everyone wants to argue with me about what qualifies as a wizard.

Third Option - Taako saves the day.

You’re Laughing - End of Suffering Game.

THEORIES/MECHANICS/THOUGHTS

Aloof - Holes Taako refuses to fill.

Barry’s Lucky Possessee - Graphic novel theory hopes & dreams.

Catpiling - Stolen Century thought.

Davenport’s Deaths - Sucks when you always wake up driving.

Death Leaves a Mark - Stolen Century AU concept.

Everyone Else - Some people didn’t get perfect endings.

Fantasy Nonsense - lore about the word “fantasy,” as in “Jesus Fantasy Christ.”

Fragments - Magnus’ memory.

Forgiveness - Old post about the crew’s thoughts on Lucretia’s actions.

Forgot to Erase - Lucretia’s errors.

FULL TIMELINE POST - the Balance timeline.

Gauntlet - (disproven!) Theory about the final relic, from before it was confirmed in the show.

Gnome Nicknames - Thoughts on Cap’nport.

High School AU - Some old headcanons.

Home World Names - The pattern in surnames (or lack thereof) on the IPRE’s homeworld.

Hour - This isn’t a thought so much as an Actual Thing That Magnus Said before the time loops had started, which is absurd.

Idiots in Love - The IPRE’s collective braincell was lost for all of Legato. [2]

Liches, Alone - Being stuck as raw emotion for an awfully long time.

Losing Julia - And subsequent developments.

Love - What was remembered and forgotten.

Love Without Fear - Thoughts on bonds during the Stolen Century.

Memory - Barry actually shouldn’t have remembered anything.

Nickname - Memory of Lup.

Paladin Barry Theory - Converging evidence on Barry’s multiclassing.

Paradox AU - blueprint for 8th, 9th, 10th, etc. Bird AU of your choice(s). (Extra)

Phylactery Mechanics - How liches differ.

Produce Flame - Mechanics of John killing Merle.

Recklessness - THB’s actions recontextualized.

Relic Schools of Magic - They don’t have them!!!

Relicswap AU - Where all the birds get swapped out.

Seven Birds as Gods - Ask-prompt thoughts.

Staring at the Sun - The birds and their light sensitivity.

Story, Song, & Sorcery - Effects on the young population.

Sword Tornado - Magnus Mechanics. [bonus: Time Warlock]

The Good Place AU - A series of crossover thoughts.

Tree Climbing - Davenport shenanigans.

Unique Magic Types - [and combo styles]

What Killed Maureen - hint: it wasn’t Fisher.

#the adventure zone #taz balance #mine #index #there were a fair few in here that id forgotten about too!#god i hope i didnt mess up any of these links

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danwhobrowses · 4 years

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One Piece 972 - Initial Thoughts

Spoilers for Chapter 972

So we finally reach Oden’s end, and it ends in tragic fashion like it often does, so let’s get through some highlights - ‘It’s hard to change your mind’, she literally told you that the man threw away his reputation and dignity to save lives, it’s not hard man! - The Oniwabanshu are scummy, we kinda knew that already but they seemed to have no reservations with killing Shinobu - one of their own - and innocent civilians who were still treating Orochi respectfully - Yasuie why are you home? I thought you were protecting Toki right? And that must be some archer to fire messages to each province about Oden. I wonder who’s narrating at this point though, may be the translation but they’re using ‘we’ like someone’s recounting the events - Some Void Century lore though, the Kozuki closed off Wano to keep away from a Great Power (which I’m guessing is the WG) but Oden wants to open them in order to welcome Joy Boy’s next incarnation - again may be the translation but he/she is used to support reincarnation - Oden makes it, seems that this was the ‘Hour of Legends’ rather than the battle, Oda you sneaky fox. Kaido is not happy, Oden looking like Zoro when nothing happened - Buuuuuut someone’s a sore loser, changing the sentence unannounced to the firing range - making Yasuie’s death a bit more similar since he was shot also - and he wants to kill Oden’s family too...it’s as if he doesn’t care that this is the very thing that caused him to want revenge - I hope we didn’t just see what caused the rift between Inu and Neko though, it seems a bit...soft, for 2 decades of not even being in the same vicinity as one another - The strength of Oden though, he still boils in 700 degree heat and he threw all 9 of his vassals in the air after carrying them for an hour - ‘Don’t underestimate my Samurai’ was definitely a Zoro smile there - Before I get to the death itself ‘SORRY ABOUT THE OLD HAG’ you mean the death I wanted to hang on my wall was an OFF-SCREEN DEATH!? How Dare...Did Semimaru get killed by Kaido’s wrath as well then? I feel like we should’ve seen those deaths - But then we get to Oden’s death, a lot to unwrap here. For one he knows it’s happening and takes it like a man, even encouraging Kaido to get stronger. Seems that Kaido does respect Oden though, killing the hag and killing Oden himself, though there’s something off about Kaido using a pistol for me, a warrior’s death is not to be shot in the head and left to sink into a cauldron of oil which it’s implied that Kaido will soon eat with a cup of sake as recommended. Not saying it was a bad death but it seems weird that this was the choice we went for - felt a little like Bell-Mere’s death too. - Going out like Kozuki O-D. En with that smile, though I’d wager that all who saw Laugh Tale would die with a smile on their face - Toki’s stoicism breaks and is explained, she had hoped for his survival and was told to send the vassals into the future by Oden himself. It means the prophecy is a little bit hoo-hah but okay, still weird she didn’t send Hiyori with Momo or accompany either of them, I get that she wanted to be with Oden but surely ensuring the future she wants Oden to see from beyond would be a better plan? But I think I’m a little relieved that she did cry at the end, if not to shun away theories that Toki was just using Oden And that ended the chapter, great one obviously, Oda sure knows how to do big deaths. But I am a little sore that we were robbed of Higurashi’s death on-screen, also now that we do go back to the future we still don’t know too much about Toki’s death or Inu and Neko’s rift, or anything about Denjiro. I’m glad that we’re gonna be seeing Luffy again after so long no doubt but we could’ve had some answers in here. Nonetheless, back to the present we go, what happened to the crew, with Law, with Kid, with Hawkins (also where Tashigi, she should be in Wano it’s the land of Meito)? The storms have come on the promised day and the alliance seems to be failing, so where comes the fight? I still think Kaido will get his war but a small victory is in order

#one piece #op spoilers #one piece spoilers #one piece wano #wano #wano spoilers #wano arc #Kaido #kozuki clan #kozuki oden

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canyousevmyheavydirtysoul · 6 years

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You’re My Bodyguard, Not My Owner. (Chapter 30) (Brendon Urie x Reader)

“Jameson?” Aaron offered, holding up the whiskey bottle for your view. When you declined, he asked if he could get you anything else.

“No, thank you. I’m good.”

“Just say if you need anything,” he said, crossing the room to seat himself on the sofa opposite from the one you were sitting on.

“The only thing I need is your help,” you chuckled, shifting backwards into a more comfortable position.

“Of course,” he sipped from his whiskey glass before setting it down on the coffee table midway between you two and extending a hand towards you, tilting his head, “Fire away. What do you need?”

“You’re an expert on Norse mythology, yes?”

“That I am,” he confirmed.

“What can you tell me about Asgard?”

The doctor hummed as he ran a hand over his mouth. “You want the summarised version or the one with all the trimmings?”

“I want to know everything.”

His lips twitched upwards. “Very well. So, according to Asgardian legend, in the beginning there was nothing, but in time, two worlds came into being on opposite sides of the void…”

Aaron continued to recount the entire history and lore of Asgard to you, who listened with extreme attentiveness and concentration. He told you about the creation of the first Frost Giant, Ymir, and the birth of Borr, who would later on father the three brothers Odin, Vili and Vé. He spoke of how the brothers slew Ymir, and created a home for themselves, calling it Asgard. And between the two worlds of Asgard and Midgard (earth), they stretched a rainbow bridge and called it Bifröst.

He explained how Odin came to be king, after his father and youngest brother Vé, died in battled, and how he and his only remaining brother Vili, fought as Asgard’s greatest warriors. Aaron explained what happened during the battle of Jotunheim, and how Odin came to adopt his son Loki, as well as come into possession of the Tesseract. He told you about the birth of Thor, as well as the appointment of Vili as the Protector of the Tesseract.

It was at that point that you interrupted.

“Vili,” you spoke, “what was he the god of?”

“Motivation.”

“And he was also the guardian of the Tesseract.”

“That’s correct.”

“And did he…” you drew in shaky breath, nervously wringing your fingers, “have any children? A… daughter, perhaps?”

“It’s not believed so, no,” was Aaron’s reply, and you felt your stomach drop as a vile concoction of relief as well as disappointment coursed through you.

“Although,” he continued a moment later, and you straightened up, “for a time, it was believed that when Vili descended to earth in pursuit of the Tesseract and when he decided to remain here, he adopted all the aspects of a regular, human life. Some believed that part of that was marrying a human and having a child.”

You swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “And this child… they would be a demi-god?”

He nodded, taking a sip of his drink before frowning and snapping his fingers. “Hang on,” he stood up and crossed the room to one of his bags, “I think I might have something that could hold the answers you’re looking for. Ah,” he smiled when he found the ivory-coloured book and made his way back to the sofas, opting to sit next to you this time.

You gingerly took the book when he graciously held it out to you, setting it in your lap and running your fingers over the cover as you studied the various intricate designs and wording. You felt a twinge of déja vu; you were feeling the exact same way you had felt when you held your father’s journal. Except that this time, your hunger for answers was far more overpowering, and you opened the cover with ease.

Your eyes landed on a handwritten inscription at the top left corner of the title page, and you tilted your head to read the slanted writing.

“To the geekiest person I know,

I found this book extremely boring and stupid, so I knew that meant you would love it.

Happy birthday, Aaron. Stay weird.

From your older, cooler, and much better-looking cousin,

Ryan”

Aaron leaned closer to read it too, and chuckled. “Such a prick. It was a great present, though.”

“He sounds lovely,” you joked and Aaron gave a short laugh.

“He was, actually. He teased me tremendously, for being such a nerd; he was more into guitars and leather jackets and cigarettes. Typical rockstar stuff. We got along incredibly, though, despite not seeing much of each other. He was my best friend,” Aaron explained. As he spoke, you noticed a slight tremor starting to form in his voice, and an unmistakable glint of sadness in his eyes. You knew that look all too well, but didn’t comment on it. If he wanted to talk about it, he would.

So, you simply placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly before asking what exactly you were supposed to look for in the book.

“Oh, right,” he cleared his throat and shifted closer, close enough for you to see the hint of stubble growing on his face, “Let’s see… I think it’s page, what was it? 45? 63? Ah, here it is. 57.”

Your gaze raked over the page. There wasn’t a lot of information, but what was there was definitely substantial.

“Skadi,” you read. Your skin broke out into goosebumps as flashes of your conversation with captured assassin crossed your mind. “Goddess of Winter… oh, my God.”

“She’s also the goddess of Justice, Vengeance, and Righteous Anger,” Aaron read from the page. When you didn’t respond, he looked up at you, a worrisome frown crossing his face as he took in your state.

You weren’t talking, your lips were trembling, and your skin pale, and he could see a semblance of tears forming in your eyes.

“(Y/N),” he reached out to grip your arms softly, “What’s wrong?”

Everything. Everything was wrong. The last hour had confirmed everything that The Asset had said to you, and as a result, confirmed that you had in fact been lied to for your entire life, by everyone in it.

Yes, Fury had confirmed it already, but you still held on to the tiniest bit of hope that it wasn’t true, that everything was made up. But now, there was no doubt about it.

And it wasn’t as if they were minor lies, either. They were lying about your identity. Your heritage. Who you are.

“This Skadi,” you croaked out, ignoring the doctor’s question regarding your well being, “she has powers, right?”

“That would be the case, yes.”

“And these powers…” you sighed, taking a moment to close your eyes and compose yourself. There was no more room left for crying, or feeling sorry for yourself; you needed to familiarise yourself with all of this as much as you could, as fast as you could. You turned to face the doctor, face hard. “Alright, let’s assume that all of those rumours were true, and that Vili really did start a family here on earth.”

“Okay.”

“Vili would want to protect his daughter at all costs, like any parent would. So he’d hide her powers from her. Or at least, turn them dormant.”

“Uh huh.”

“But let’s say that earth is facing a huge threat, and the only way to stop said threat, would be for Skadi to fight… how would she activate her powers?”

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” you sighed, slightly aggravated, “It’s all hypothetical, Aaron. Please just… indulge me.”

Still a bit unsure, Aaron slowly shook his head. “All hypothetical…right. Well, there’s not really a textbook answer to your question, (Y/N).”

“Okay, so don’t give me a textbook answer. Give me yours. You’re the expert here. What do you think?”

Aaron chuckled awkwardly, but upon seeing your stern expression, he knew that you weren’t fooling around. You were absolutely serious.

“I think…” he started, his expression turning stern too, “that Vili wouldn’t have hidden his daughter’s powers without leaving her a clue as to how to find them again. He was one of the greatest warriors the universe had ever seen; he knew how important her abilities would be – how powerful she would become – and he undoubtedly knew that one day she would have to defend. Be it this world, or any other.”

You nodded along slowly, taking in every word. “So you think he left her a clue?”

“I’d bet everything on it.”

“Huh,” you ran your tongue along the inside of your cheek, stretching your hands out to your knees as Aaron continued to study your motions, searching for some kind of enlightenment as to you what exactly you were thinking.

“(Y/N), based on your reaction to what we’ve been discussing…” he stalled his speech for a moment, taking the opportunity to consider how to go about his question. He wasn’t someone who was easily confused, yet this situation left him completely befuddled. “I can’t help but feel that your questions are not hypothetical. Is there… What’s going on?”

Groaning, you lifted one hand to pinch the bridge of your nose. “Aaron,” you muttered, “I’d love to tell you. I really would. But not even I am sure of what’s going on. All I know is that it’s very, very complicated. Besides, even if I did know, I probably wouldn’t tell you. And I mean no offense to you by that, but it’s just that there’s no one I trust right now.”

“I understand that,” he nodded, “I apologise; I didn’t mean to pry. It’s simply that you seem quite upset over this – whatever it is – and I would’ve liked to have helped you with that.”

“You have helped, believe me.”

He smiled a warm, genuine smile. “I’m glad. Know that even though you might not trust me, you can. I assure you that I am totally impartial in this situation.”

“You have to be,” you scoffed in amusement, “You have no idea what’s going on.”

“Precisely,” he beamed, eyes twinkling.

You opened your mouth to reply, but didn’t get the chance to, since the door to Aaron’s suite swung open, hitting the wall with a deafening bang. And in the doorway stood none other than…

“Brendon?” you asked in disbelief, eyes narrowing as you took in the sight before you.

Your bodyguard stood painfully straight as his cold glare settled itself on you and the doctor. His hair was messy and windswept, telling you that he must’ve arrived in a chopper. As always, his body language radiated exactly what he was feeling – anger. Lots of it.

The muscles in his jaw twitched as he fixed his eyes on Aaron, and amazingly, his gaze hardened even more.

“What,” he started, voice calm but as sharp and cold as an icicle, as he took slow, threatening steps forward, “did I say,” he flexed his fingers, “would happen if you ever touched her again?”

Aaron’s eyes got bigger and his mouth fell open as he tried to respond, but couldn’t; much like Corvey, he faltered under Brendon’s aura. It was remarkable, really, how Brendon could do that. Make even a man as charming and influential as Doctor Aaron Ross succumb under his gaze.

“Brendon,” you spoke, trying to avert the attention from the man sitting next to you.

“Did you forget?” Brendon pressed, ignoring you as he continued to advance on Aaron, “’Cause I’d be more than happy to refresh your memory.”

“Brendon!” you raised your voice and stood up this time, blocking the doctor from your bodyguard’s view. “Stop it.”

Upon making eye contact with you for the first time in a couple days, the usual layer of ice in his eyes was replaced with a raging fire.

“You. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You frowned, scoffing at the question. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Yes! Do you have any idea the amount of panic and disruption you’ve caused? Fuck, (Y/N). Fury has been worried out of his mind, and I…” he broke his gaze, looking to the side and shaking his head before turning back to you, “I’ve been looking all over for you. I haven’t slept in two days because I’ve been hopping around the entire fucking country trying to find you.”

“Hopping? You should try flying,” you sassed, cocking one brow, “It’s way faster.”

“Fuck, (Y/N)!” he barked, anger building, “This isn’t a fucking joke! I thought you were dead, damn it!”

“So what? What would it matter if I were dead? In fact, it would only benefit you – you wouldn’t have to babysit me anymore. You don’t care about me. You never did. That was proven a long time ago. So don’t try and make me feel guilty when I know that you don’t even really give a shit.”

Next thing you knew, Brendon had pulled you to him, one hand holding your left arm in an iron grip, and the other cupping the right side of your face. You could feel him against you; his breathing was dangerously ragged.

“I…” he started, eyes boring into yours. He drew in a sharp breath. “I’m here now. I found you, and I’m not leaving without you.”

“I…” it was your turn to falter and inhale deeply. You closed your eyes and shook your head lightly as you shoved him away. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

His jaw clenched. “Yes, you are.”

“She said she’s not going with you,” Aaron found his courage, steeling his gaze and rising from his seat to move beside you. “I think you should leave.”

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” Brendon chuckled bitterly, taking a step back as he looked between you and the Brit. “(Y/N), you can’t actually be serious.” He looked at you hopelessly. “You’re gonna chose to stay with him rather than come with me? You know nothing about him! He can’t be trusted!”

“Neither can you,” you retorted. “In fact, Aaron has been more truthful to me in two hours than you have been in almost a year.”

“Oh come on!” he groaned, accentuating every word, “I was fucking protecting you!”

“Well maybe I don’t need you to protect me!” you yelled back, “Did you ever think about that?”

There was the sound of glass shattering, and a small gas cylinder rolled onto the carpet next to you, releasing an invisible gas.

The last thing you heard before blacking out was Brendon calling out your name.

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

Taglist:

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@azumitoshiki

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#brendon urie #brendon urie x reader #bodyguard #bodyguard!brendon #patd #p!atd #panic at the disco #panic! at the disco #band #emo #music #band member #marvel #band member imagine #imagine #imagines #fanfic #emo trinity #emo quartet

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noretreatnancy · 3 years

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January Reading Wrap-Up

Okay so I want to start typing up a little summary/review for each of the books I read this year, so that maybe some of my followers can find some new titles! This month I read 5 romances, 2 fantasies, 2 non-fiction (a memoir and a recounting of some supposedly true paranormal events), and 1 mystery/thriller. If you’re interested in any of those genres, maybe check out the reviews under the cut :)

Mystery/Thriller

Lock Every Door by Riley Sager

Rating: 2.5/5

This book was a mega disappointment for me. The concept was really intriguing. Jules has just recently been through some life turmoil, losing her job, boyfriend, and home in the same day. She takes a job apartment sitting in a very prestigious historical building with a dark history. Weird occurrences ensue, including strict rules and missing apartment sitters. If you don’t read/watch a lot of mystery/thriller/(even true crime) content and are interested in dabbling, this could be a good choice for you. Unfortunately, I found the hints started dropping a little too early, and the answers were a little too obvious for me to be properly intrigued. I wanted a really slow burn mystery, and this just felt overly rushed for me.

Non-Fic

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado (memoir)

Rating: 5/5

I don’t usually rate non-fiction, especially memoirs, because it’s hard for me to but a grade on someone’s account of their own life. But holy shit this book blew me out of the water. This is the story of Carmen Maria Machado’s abusive same-sex relationship, and the unique struggles faced by victims of f/f relationship violence. First of all, Machado’s writing is unparralled. Absolutely gorgeous. The way she structures this, all the history and pop culture she ties in keeps it feeling fresh and engaging. The content is of course very heavy, dealing with themes of abuse in many different forms. However, imo these issues are handled with honesty and grace, in a way that never felt gratuitous.

The Mothman Prophecies by John Keel (paranormal account)

Rating: N/A

Uhm... I hated every second of reading this. I love Mothman. I love reading/watching/listening to content around weird/spooky/paranormal occurrences. I did not love this book. It was so boring. Total slog to read. There was no narrative structure/order of events. I assumed the story would track the beginning of weird reports in Point Pleasant, then follow Keel’s own arrival and investigation of these reports, with his own experiences and background being used to create a coherent story. That’s not what this is. This is a random arrangement of ufo/men in black/strange encounter stories that all fit a similar theme. Not to say no one would enjoy this, or that it doesn’t present interesting theories (it certainly does), just didn’t work for me. If you want a more easily digestible (and by FAR more enjoyable) version of this, check out the Astonishing Legends podcast and their episodes covering this book.

Fantasy

Black Sun (Book 1, Between Earth and Sky) by Rebecca Roanhorse

Ratung: 4/5

Finally some good fucking food. if you’re looking for some adult fantasy with a new and interesting world, have I got a book for you. This is a multiple POV story following four main characters and two main plotlines. Xiala, a Teek (siren-esque) ship captain hired to transport Serapio (who may or may not be the vessel of an apocalypse god) to the city of Tova, where Naranpa (the Sun Priestess) is trying to navigate a city on the brink of political upheaval. The world is inspired by Pre-Columbian civilizations in the Americas, and the lore/magic/politics are all totally unlike any other fantasy I’ve read.

Come Tumbling Down (Book 5, Wayward Children) by Seanan McGuire

Rating: 3

This was definitely a solid addition to this series, if not my favorite. The Wayward Children series follows the adventures of children who were able to enter magical worlds, but for a variety of reasons had to leave those worlds. This book most closely aligns with books one and two, almost feeling like a direct sequel to book two with the addition of characters from book three. It didn’t have the emotional impact for me that earlier books did, but there was nothing glaringly bad or wrong here. I would definitely recommend this series to anyone who enjoyed portal/doorway/wardrobe to a magical world stories as a kid.

Romance

The Bride Test (Book 2, The Kiss Quotient) by Helen Hoang

Rating: 5/5

I love this series. I love these characters. As far as I’m concerned, Helen Hoang cannot fucking miss. This is an excellent sequel to The Kiss Quotient, but can be read on it’s own no problem. This story follows Esme, a Vietnamese woman who is enlisted to travel to the US to woo and marry Khai, an autistic man who isn’t interested in dating (much to the concern of his mother). They’re both dealing with their own issues in this book. Khai is convinced that he can’t feel love, because he’s spent his entire life being told he’s demonstrating it in the wrong way. Esme is dealing with the struggles of a new immigrant, who wants to be able to support her family back in Vietnam (including her young daughter), while also dealing with the pressure to seduce Khai. Shenanigans ensue. These books have the perfect balance of sweetness/sexy appeal/angst. There is a good deal of miscommunication/misunderstanding/secret keeping in here, but it’d ultimately a minor issue in an overall really supportive relationship full of mutual admiration. I will absolutely be reading the third book, and I highly recommend the series overall.

She Tempts the Duke (Book 1, Lost Lords of Pembrook) by Lorraine Heath

Rating: 3/5

This was fine. I’ve read better historical romance, but I have certainly read worse. This book follows Mary and Sebastian, childhood friends separated by a tragedy. When they were children, Sebastian and his brothers were forced to flee for their lives based on the actions of their power hungry uncle. Now, as adults, they have returned to reclaim their father’s title. Mary, who helped them escape, has just been allowed back into society after a childhood in a convent, and she must work extra hard to maintain her reputation in order to maintain her engagement. I’m sure you can imagine where it goes from there. The story itself is very simple, there were no twists or unexpected turns. The childhood friends aspect could’ve been played up more imo, but I did enjoy the care between the two leads. They really want what’s best for each other. The most interesting aspect for me was the relationship between the brothers, and how they’ve all been changed and hardened by their pasts.

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade

Rating: 3.5/5

This was cute! The book follows Marcus (a major actor in a GOT-esque blockbuster fantasy TV show on the rocks) and April (fan of the show). April and Marcus both write fanfiction for the same ship (half of which is Marcus’s own character), and have developed a strong online friendship, both keeping their identities secret. If anyone were to find out that Marcus writes show critical fanfic, he would be in serious legal trouble, not to mention what it would do to his reputation. April has been keeping her fandom life separate from her real life, in order to maintain credibility in her career. However, a new work environment gives her the confidence to be more open about her passions. April posts a cosplay of herself as one of the characters from the show (the other half of their ship). April is plus-size, and her cosplay gets a lot of attention, some of which being internet typical negativity. Marcus sees this hate online, and is so upset by it that he publicly praises her and asks her on a date (not knowing April is his fanfic buddy). Shenanigans ensue. I liked this book a lot, I thought the concept was cute and I loved how sweet Marcus was at all times. The relationship felt really grounded in the friendship/common interests of the characters. There is a lot of misunderstanding/miscommunication in this book, to the point where I did become frustrated, even if it is understandable based on the insecurities of the characters.

Take A Hint, Dani Brown (Book 2, The Brown Sisters) by Talia Hibbert

Rating: 4/5

Zaf I am in love with you. This is the second book in the series but you can totally read it on its own without the context of the first book. This is the story of Dani (a bi phd student with a no relationship rule) and Zaf (an ex-pro rugby player turned security guard who loves romance novels and deals with extreme anxiety). Zaf and Dani work in the same building on a college campus, and have developed a casual friendship. During a fire drill gone wrong, a video of Zaf rescuing Dani goes viral, with everyone thinking they are a couple. Zaf wants to use the publicity to help his charity organization (helping teen boys learn emotional maturity), Dani wants a no-strings sex arrangement with Zaf, fake-dating ensues. This series is the blueprint for healthy relationships built on mutual respect and admiration, with two characters learning to deal with their own issues with the help and support of their potential romantic partner. If you don’t usually read romance bc of the genre-typical problematic content, consider checking this series out.

One Foot in the Grave (Book 2, Night Huntress) by Jeaniene Frost

Rating: 3/5

This series follows Cat, a half human/half vampire hybrid who hunts vampires. In this book, set four years after the first, she is the leader of a vampire hunting secret government kill squad. Her ex-lover, the vampire Bones, who trained her and is basically the love of her life, reappears after four years of separation. They are very, very obviously Buffy and Spike (if Spike was a good guy). It was better than the first one. More/better humor, Cat is much less annoying. I liked the relationship dynamics, particularly with Cat and her team. It really kind of negates the big conflict set up at the end of the first book, so that all the relationship drama there feels very pointless. There is a TON of woman/woman hate in this series and it’s so cringey. I try to be lenient bc the books are old and I know that kind of attitude was common back then, but oh my god is it gross and weird. There is literally ONE female character Cat views in a positive lights, and she literally disappears into thin air 1/4 of the through the book. I wish the romance wasn’t so rushed (a complaint I had in the first book as well). If you like paranormal romance and don’t mind a pretty dated read, this series could be fun for you.

Other

Rooms by Lauren Oliver

Rating: 3/5

I have no idea what genre to call this (literary fiction?? kind of??). It’s a ghost story and the story of a pretty messed up family dealing with their issues. The writing is really pretty, but the story feels kind of without substance. Like there are multiple POVs (the two ghosts haunting the house, the mother of the family, the sister and the brother, the niece), but none of them really struck any cords with me. I never felt emotionally connected to anyone. It was a really easy read, I enjoyed the writing. The concept was interesting. It just felt a little hollow and pointless to me, which sounds really harsh considering I by no means hated it.

#books #book review #my reading #january reading wrap up

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syrupwit · 4 years

Text

Letter for Trick or Treat Exchange 2020

Hello there, and welcome to my letter for Trick or Treat Exchange 2020! I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to read this letter. I hope that it will provide you with clarification, inspiration, or at the very least a bit of entertainment.

Although I’ve written more for some sections and less for others, rest assured that I would be super excited to receive a gift for any of my requested fandoms, characters, or fanwork types.

Please see the table of contents below:

Likes

Do Not Want (DNW)

Fandom: The Bureau d'Echange de Maux - Lord Dunsany

Fandom: Carnacki the Ghost-Finder - William Hope Hodgson

Fandom: Invader Zim

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Fandom: Stellar Firma

LIKES

For Treats, some general things I like are:

Silly, clever, or situation-based humor

Surreality and weirdness

Lore and worldbuilding

Stories-within-a-story

Slice of life, especially light moments for darker canons

Unusual team-ups

Dramatic rescues

First times

Seasonal and holiday-related tropes -- autumn weather, changing leaves, spooky foods, candy, friendly ghosts, haunted houses, horror movies, costume parties

For Tricks, some general things I like are:

Dark comedy, gallows humor, horror comedy

Psychological, paranormal, and cosmic horror

Creepy lore and worldbuilding

Unreliable narrators

A lingering sense of unease

Examining darker aspects of canon

Obsessive, love-hate relationships between adversaries or people who are in conflict over something

Corruption

Dubcon where a third party or outside force is responsible for the situation, or where the dubconned party enjoys it

I have a very long list of fic likes here.

Please see my Multifandom Horror Exchange letter for more about my horror likes.

DO NOT WANT (DNW)

Characters under age 16 involved in sexual situations

Sex without mutual attraction

Hate speech

Harm to animals (the existence of ghost animals is OK, but I don’t want to hear about injury, abuse, or death of animals)

Fandom-Specific DNW Exception for TMA: Mention of canonical, character-motivation-significant cat death is fine.

Bestiality

Scat

Necrophilia (sexual activity involving ghosts is OK, just not corpses or remains)

Sexual activity involving worms / spiders / insects

THE BUREAU D’ECHANGE DE MAUX - LORD DUNSANY

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic

Characters Requested: Shop Owner

This short story can be read online for free here. CW for brief antisemitism (it’s one line/mention, but it caught me off guard, so).

I actually hadn’t read this story before seeing it in the tagset, but what an intriguing premise! I’d love to hear more about the shop owner’s business and the bargains his customers make. The trades in the story seem intuitively equal -- life for death, troubling intelligence for happy ignorance, a phobia for a phobia -- but what more unusual types of trades might occur? Has anyone ever tried to rob the shop owner? What strange or ordinary-seeming locales has his shop traveled to, and how does he feel about them? I’m interested in Trick and Treat takes on all of these questions.

I really like Lord Dunsany’s style and would enjoy anything in that tone. If you wanted to bring in some of his other short story characters, like Nuth or the bad old woman in black, that would be great. I’m also open to crossovers for this fandom with all fandoms I’ve requested in this exchange or any previous one.

CARNACKI THE GHOST-FINDER - WILLIAM HOPE HODGSON

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic

Characters Requested: Thomas Carnacki

The original nine short stories about Carnacki can be read online for free here. Project Gutenberg also has the first six stories.

Among fictional occult detectives of the early twentieth century, Carnacki has a special place in my heart. He gets scared, he makes mistakes, he does weird things with colored lights and electricity, and sometimes he figures out that the haunting was a hoax. While the supernatural cases that Carnacki investigates are (in my opinion) genuinely scary, those occurrences that turn out to have a mundane explanation are just as suspenseful.

Hodgson’s cosmic horror worldbuilding, as well, is inventive and unusual. My favorite Carnacki story, “The Hog,” concerns a malevolent extra-dimensional pig that attempts to manifest in the world by tormenting a frightened dreamer. Other adversaries include a ghost horse, a cursed ancient dagger, and a giant pair of whistling lips.

For Treats, I’d like to see Carnacki tackle a lighter-hearted problem or deal with an antagonist that’s more silly than sinister. The stories’ conceit is that Carnacki calls his four closest friends to dinner every so often and makes them wait until the meal is finished to recount his latest case. I’d also enjoy something about his relationships with them, maybe a situation where his personal and professional lives clash or he acquires a new quirk after an odd case.

For Tricks, I want ghost pigs and ghost pigs only. Just kidding! I’d really like to hear more about the creatures and lore of this universe, as well as the beings, texts, and rituals that Carnacki references or uses in his work. More mistakes, near misses, and terrifying encounters are always welcome.

INVADER ZIM

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic

Characters Requested: Dib, Zim

Apparently one of my forever fandoms. To re-use my own words: There’s something irresistible to me about the blend of snappy comedy, unapologetic pessimism, and hints of a more complicated universe that we just get to see. I’m not up to date on the comics yet, but please feel free to include canon from comics, show, or movie.

Dib

I love Dib’s obsessiveness, his alienation, and his frantic pursuit of approval from a community and society that couldn’t care less about him. He wants to be the hero, but his actions are selfishly motivated and often result in catastrophe. I’m really endeared by his devotion to the paranormal and the ridiculous situations he’s drawn into.

Dib/Zim is my OTP, but I also enjoy them interacting as enemies or frenemies. (I would prefer any sexual content be set when Dib is 16 or older.) For gen, I’m interested in Dib’s family relationship with Gaz, potential friendship with Tak, and encounters with aliens, cryptids, monsters, ghosts, and other paranormal investigator types.

Zim

Zim is a total disaster, and that’s what I love about him. Like Dib, he’s stuck in a futile quest for validation from leaders and peers who would prefer he not exist. I like that he’s gullible and easily scared -- cf. “Germs,” his meltdown over the VHS copyright notice in “FBI Warning of Doom” -- yet unusually chaotic and dangerous even among his species. He also has a subconscious layer of... neediness, I think? that could be really interesting to explore.

Again, Dib/Zim is my OTP. For gen interactions, I like Zim’s relationships with GIR, Ms. Bitters, the Tallest, and any other invaders, as well as random hapless humans and experiments and so on.

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic

Characters Requested: The Buried, The Vast, Adelard Dekker, Jurgen Leitner, Peter Lukas, Gertrude Robinson

My favorite horror podcast! I may be obsessed at the moment. I love the tone and worldbuilding of TMA -- the entropy and hopelessness, the way the monsters don’t play fair, the semi-religious devotion of avatars to their patrons. I also love characters figuring out the magnitude of the awfulness they’re dealing with, and fighting against overwhelming odds.

The Buried

A fascinating fear! I’m really attracted to the Buried’s mix of attributes -- not just dirt, asphyxiation, and the subterranean, but also pressure, metaphysical weight, oppressive circumstances and hopeless struggle.

This entity’s particular aspects of denial, and of accepting increasingly adverse or strange conditions -- the pit, the statement giver from “Dig,” Karolina Górka considering a nap on the Underground -- both unsettle and delight me.

I feel that both the Buried and the Corruption have this compelling theme of like... suffocating, boundary-crushing love, that takes a person’s identity, will, and outside connections but leaves them a sense of belonging or importance. Then, on the other hand, the Buried can also belittle as it isolates. I thought Hezekiah Wakely’s identification of the Buried with rest and peace, and the Sunken Sky’s evocation as a mercy, were very interesting as well.

For prompts: I really love archaeology and ancient history, so I’d love anything about the Buried in connection to that. An anon on FFA brought up the Kola Superdeep Borehole as a potential hook for the Buried, and that idea is quite interesting to me. I’d also love to hear about any of the statement givers from canon, the coffin’s other victims, or any main or original characters encountering this entity.

The Vast

Heights are one of my most visceral fears in real life, despite not being something I’m conceptually afraid of. I am requesting the Vast because I would like to be conceptually afraid of it!

Elements of this entity that intrigue me: the image of the Falling Titan, nihilism (and finding freedom in it), insignificance, call of the void, oceans / storms / cliffs, space, scales of size so large they’re not humanly comprehensible, Simon Fairchild’s love for the sky, delineation from the Lonely, opposition to the Buried, unusual manifestations.

As with the Buried, I really love the justifications that avatars give for their devotion to a power -- something exploring that, the choice to serve and the benefits that someone either gains or rationalizes after the fact, would be amazing. As stated above, unusual manifestations of fears are my jam, especially things that start out looking like one power but turn out to have a different affiliation.

I’d be interested in hearing about any canonical statement givers, avatars, main characters, or original characters encountering the Vast, or perhaps just a record of a past manifestation. I love stuff that’s grounded in a place, time, or feeling, so something super-specific or historical would be awesome. But, again, I really just want to be scared.

Adelard Dekker

Such an interesting character, and with depths yet to be explored! I enjoy his pragmatism, sense of humor, and relationship with his faith. I’m intrigued by the question of his allegiance and motivations, as well.

I’d love to hear more about Dekker’s pursuit of the Extinction -- perhaps the incident or incidents that first made him suspect its existence? accidental Extinction!Dekker? -- and his apparently far-flung contact network. I ship him both romantically and platonically with Gertrude, and I’d be interested to hear about their first meeting or other cases they collaborated on. Additionally, Dekker/Tim is a rarepair that intrigues me -- perhaps they meet in an AU where Tim becomes Dekker’s apprentice, and they take down Nikola together? I’d be open to seeing him interact with any character you think might be interesting, whether in a gen or shippy way.

Jurgen Leitner

I just want to know about the cataloging system he uses. Alternately, MORE LEITNERS. Alternately, ohh, the hubris! Leitner’s motivations for starting his library, vs. what he actually ends up effecting... aiii. I’m interested in what role the Eye played there, or how others may have manipulated him.

I don’t have any ships for Leitner, but for gen I would be interested to see him interact with Gertrude, his assistant, or Gerard Keay. Elias or Peter Lukas could also be interesting -- potentially funny, potentially sad or ominous.

Peter Lukas

On the one hand, a sinister sea captain and the heir of a frightening legacy; on the other, an annoying boss who refuses to learn basic computer skills and says things like “You and me, the dynamic duo!” I enjoy how petty and human Peter seems, at the same time that he’s this remote and gleeful monster.

I ship Peter/Martin super hard, but I also enjoy gen Peter & Martin and both gen and shippy interactions involving Elias. Additionally, I’m really interested in what happened for Peter to transport Gertrude to Sannikov Land, given their animosity. (Peter and Gertrude interacting seems like it could be hilarious.) For a fish-out-of-water scenario, I’d also like to see something where Peter feels out of control or threatened -- like, perhaps he’s caught in another avatar’s trap, or forced to be around other people for a bet or some strange purpose.

Re: Peter/Martin: I would prefer for Martin to gain the upper hand, even if it’s just in principle. I really like the idea of Peter going along thinking he’s in control, he’s seduced Martin to the Lonely, his plan is moving along -- and then he’s suddenly hit with all these feelings that he doesn’t know what to do with, because he’s never been in this situation before. On Martin’s part, I like it when he’s sort of reluctantly allured, but also contemptuous and focused on his own plan. And I would absolutely love some weird monster courting rituals -- Peter trying to impress Martin, but not quite pulling off “human” or “not disturbing.” I’m not married to these sorts of dynamics, though -- if there’s one you like better, please write it.

Gertrude Robinson

My favorite character! I love her practicality, dry wit, and self-control, but I also love stuff exploring her weaknesses, blind spots, regrets. I like that she can be smug and sometimes cruel, but not to the point where she violates her own principles (or, at least, not in her own opinion). I like that her backstory is so simple. I just really like Gertrude, in general.

For solo Gertrude, I’d like to learn more about her early days at the Institute -- maybe some of those heroic ideas she mentions she had, or their gradual dispelling. I’m also interested in seeing her solve problems, travel to unusual (or totally mundane) places, and face all kinds of supernatural nonsense. How did she get so unflappable? Is it mostly temperament, or was it a process?

For Gertrude ships, I could be convinced to ship her with pretty much anyone, but especially Agnes, Adelard Dekker, Emma Harvey, and Mary or Gerry Keay. For gen, I like her with everyone. I just want to see Gertrude interact with people!

STELLAR FIRMA

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic

Characters Requested: Hartro Piltz, Trexel Geistman, David 7, IMOGEN

I love this podcast so much it’s ridiculous. If I recall correctly, it’s been described as a cross between Brazil and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; this strikes me as accurate. I love how the tone is at once silly and exuberant, but also dark and messed-up, in an absurd way that doesn’t try to hammer listeners over the head with its irony. (Please feel free to explore that darkness in a Trick.) Also, it’s funny.

Hartro Piltz

I fell head over heels for Hartro’s character somewhere between her first appearance and the Executive Quarterly mini-episode where she reveals that her alarm clock launches her headfirst at the floor every morning (“I like to really smack awake”). She’s such a fun villain, and her attempts at team bonding with David and Trexel are oddly endearing. I like that it’s made clear that she’s as much at the mercy of Stellar Firma as everyone else, just with more perks.

For ships, I’m really into Hartro/Trexel, and I could get behind some Hartro/Trexel/David 7 as well. (If foot stuff is opt-in, consider me opted in.) For gen interactions, I like Hartro with anyone -- not just the other main three, but Standards, Sigmund Shankeray, and other members of her team or clients.

Trexel Geistman

Trexel is the worst, and I adore that about him. I love how thoroughly the show demonstrates his jackassery, and how it’s still possible to sympathize with him and see how he got where he is at the same time that you (I) just want to shake him. His responsibility-abnegating, depression, and alcoholism seem weirdly realistic, or at least reality-informed, and they weight his character in a way that I find compelling. I love his songs and weird shticks (Detectives and Detonations <3), and lapses into grandiosity and fantasy.

For ships, I like Trexel with Hartro or David 7 or both. Bathin/Trexel and Percy/Trexel, as well. Broom/Trexel, ehh. For gen interactions, I’m interested in seeing him interact with just about anyone -- but I’m especially curious what he did to Space Gertrude’s space tug (from Episode 25, one of the character witnesses from the trial). For seasonal-themed prompts, I am amused by the idea of Trexel as a horror host -- thanks, FFA -- or something else along the lines of the TMA crossover mini-episode.

David 7

Poor, sweet, innocent, possibly-doomed David 7. I love his rage, his affinity for crafts, and the bits where he gets swept up in the excitement of planet-designing (or planet-selling, or problem-solving) and can’t contain his enthusiasm. And I love his progression, over the first two seasons, from timid and cautious to just plain fed up.

For ships, I like David/Trexel, David/Bathin, David/Bathin/Trexel, and David/Trexel/Hartro. David and IMOGEN are interesting to me both platonically and romantically. For gen, I am again interested in seeing him interact with just about anyone.

IMOGEN

How much power does IMOGEN have, exactly? At some point, I hope we find out. I love her chipper sarcasm and barely-hidden dark side, and I hope that she eventually gets a vacation.

I don’t really ship IMOGEN with anyone, though the idea of David/IMOGEN is interesting. Her dynamic with David seems to have an unusual tension built into it, where they get along well and he trusts her but she can’t stop herself from threatening him with gun walls and there’s some murkiness about everyone’s motivations. Oh! IMOGEN and the Board, IMOGEN and the senior executives -- what’s going on there? IMOGEN and the station, IMOGEN and near-omnipotence -- there are a lot of fascinating things to explore about her as an AI.

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redantsunderneath · 7 years

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Bruce Springsteen: Born to Run (an autobiography)

This is going to be more exorcism than exegesis – this book is odd, and I can’t stop thinking about why. The review line here is that this recent Springsteen autobiography is worthwhile enough if you are somewhere north of a casual Springsteen fan but if you are looking for a single Springsteen historical document, you’d be better served with the Dave Marsh biographies. Superfans will of course love it, the curious will find it entertaining if they wind up with a copy, and the odd people like me who are obsessives without being real superfans will, well, find it peculiar but involving.

Bona fides: I’m an obsessive in that I’ve listened to every Springsteen song, legally released or leaked, up to 2006-ish, have read many of related books, filtered through ephemera, had the concert experience numerous times at different stages of his carrier, and have intermittent year long bouts of compulsively listening/getting moved/thinking about the whole Springsteen enchilada. What really attracted me to him as an artist was that, unlike chameleons such as (Bruce fan) Bowie who committed to one thing at a time, he seemed to carry a bunch of different influences simultaneously, the skills of which he was proficient in, and would combine and project them - the arena rawker, the street party leader, the acoustic poet, the rock and roll revivalist, the RnB review, the storyteller, the piano balladeer - often capturing several in the space of a song. He also had such great phenomenological and artist-as-story interest: I had seen this with Elvis, but this was more complicated and comprised the sum of on stage relationships, story content, song preoccupations, personal life leaks, and attitude towards fans coalescing into a legend of an avatar of the American working class and underclass, coming in with a bunch of buddies who together were a family, to redeem something in the American spirit, all on the shoulders of some incredible will and discipline.

So why am I exiled like Moses, able to see the super fan promised land but never enter? First (and this is not restricted to Springsteen) I find the fan ethos offputting. It combines a deification I loathe with a fake chumminess that makes me nauseated. More importantly, though, I really don’t like much he has produced since Tunnel of Love marked his most significant career transition. I note only one great song (“Terry’s Song”) written since the Chimes of Freedom EP which marked the end of the ToL tour, his first marriage, and the initial E Street Band run. This includes a take it or leave it attitude towards current concerts on my part (the spark isn’t there for me) and wariness about where the Springsteen “story” has gone. One of the greatest things about him early on was the mastery of basically every corner of rock and roll, and his attempt to incorporate new elements and stay fresh are kind of embarrassing (I like Rage Against the Machine too, but the weak link there is Tom Morello’s guitar, and Springsteen hired him to “rejuvenate his sound”. Ugh).

So, why is it weird? I don’t read many autobiographies (only one I can remember finishing is No Blacks, No Dogs, No Irish) so maybe it’s par for the course, but this isn’t a sculpted recounting of history but a chain of 80 or so “stories” like extended versions of the ones he would tell on stage, and are concerned more with internal rhythm than an external sense of pace or continuity. There is a lot of backtracking where the reader needs to “match” events. This story approach extends to frequent use of his stage voice(s), where he will go into revival preacher or beat poet mode, do stream of consciousness riffs, and recount back and forth embellished dialogue (without quotes, but with interjections like ‘Marone!’) like he is arguing with himself. The good news is you can truly hear his voice in the semi-poetic prose. The bad news is it doesn’t flow well, leaves strange things out, cuts back and forth, and the story seems incomplete.

The best thing about the book is an authentic third angle on the Springsteen legend that I legit had never heard before. The Springsteen myth is heavily curated by the Boss himself and has always painted a picture, as I noted above, of a rock’n’roll family bringing a fun redemption to the world. This had to be resolved with journalistic and tabloid information that challenged the story, but there was always a fan synthesis that incorporated the info and left the godhead intact. My memory of rec.arts.music.springsteen (one such recounting was called “a good man,” gagh!) is that Juliana Philips was seen as “a mistake of exposure to big success” and “a vain actress,” and he soon realized that what he needed was a good Jersey girl (which resolves how the marriage never fit fan image of him and sands the edges off of the inconvenient timing of the affair). Springsteen’s recounting of this is a good example of the value of his non-filtered point of view. He goes out of his way to demonstrate the small town authenticity of Phillips and describe her as wonderful and loving. The problem was that he was impossible to get along with for anyone after a couple of years and his mishandling of the separation (not wanting the press to know while he began another relationship and got caught) is the biggest regret of his life (because of how it impacted his then-wife).

This approach reveals him as a hard guy to know. He describes himself as a narcissist and self-hater (cue Venn diagram of the overlap of narcissism and self-doubt being Art), and he tells story after story of the men in his life where he lengthily but gently drags them through the mud, then says “but we would die for each other and I love him.” These stories come off as whatever happens to passive aggressiveness after expensive therapy (and this book is therapy-speak rich), and often serves to make him look worse than outside data does (the Mike Appel story especially where Springsteen was utterly in the right and was maliciously kept from recording for several years, but here Springsteen does everything to make excuses for him, gives him a butload of credit, and still manages to come off a little petty, i.e. these stories tend to backfire). He spends a lot of time recounting how he told the bandmembers that they just had to understand that he needed all the control and that he had all the power, so they needed to suck it up.

The upbringing stuff is probably the best material and the most untrod ground. His family history is pretty compelling and I finally understand how his religious and ethnic background shaped his personality. The sex stuff makes him look idiosyncratic and selfish: a monk sometimes, do anything that moves one year, but usually a serial monogamist with uncondoned cheating. He comes off like a terrible boyfriend and worse husband (lots of lost weekend stuff), but this doesn’t really capture how odd the sex stuff is as much as that one passage about he and his dad went to Tijuana and he came back with the crabs. He mentions prostitutes more times than he mentions groupies.

He picks several concerts to elevate to most important status that are not big ones in Springsteeen lore, but have some kind of multicultural underpinning. To at least some extent, this is to craft a version of a guy who is in touch with human experience. He spends so much time on post Katrina, 9-11, and his hurt at the cops rejecting him after what he thought was the evenhanded “American Skin (41 Shots)” (the fact that he was surprised surprises me). His talk about race and Clarence Clemons is fascinating – their relationship was molded on stage because he thought it was an important one to America both as an example and as an aesthetic statement. They only knew each other in this context and rarely ever saw each other outside of stage and studio. So their friendship, such as it was, was a Springsteen story performed into existence. He is very conscious of (and calculated about) his cultural legacy.

So much is left out, yet there are a lot of stories that are barely OK, but seem there specifically to mark time so that it’s not Born in the USA cut-to everybody starts dying (thinking of the horse riding stuff as an example). His discussion of his depression is very valuable, but asynchronously told and thus hard to follow. The book is full of “aw shucks” enthusiasm, idiom, and showmanship, but is somehow unexpectedly unguarded about the inner workings of his mind. He comes off as someone driven and not comfortable in his own skin unless he is accomplishing something, but in a human, actually painful way, that I have only ever seen divulged by a celebrity once before (David Foster Wallace). I had an idea of Springsteen as reasonably well adjusted, but after this if he commits suicide I would not be surprised.

In the end, the book crystalizes in a new set for meanings of that old story of him ripping down the posters saying “the future of rock and roll” at the Hammersmith Odeon in London, 1975 – Springsteen is a control freak, most of all about what people think of him, crippled by self-doubt, with the constant need do something, anything, to reassert mastery over his art, his message, and his mind. That this is at odds with the book’s willingness to go deep and spill stuff he would usually keep close and it is this tension (along with its storyteller-quilted nature) gives it its strange charge. In the end, there is a grandiose humility that keeps it together and I’m glad I read it.

#springsteen

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