#i am nowhere near that level of talent

[grim-has-issues]

i’ve given up on drawing for good

i will now be doing it for evil

#keep your blorbos in check #art angst #drawing #art #watch out for makarro #hes been pissing me off #maybe i’ll draw something so heat crushing god himslef will cry #this is all a joke #i am nowhere near that level of talent

[eyebagshawty]

Is It Really You? (Part 1)

Pairing: Astarion x Spawn!Reader

Summary: While Astarion is roaming the streets for Cazador's next meal, he stumbles upon someone crying near the edge of the lower city. Turns out, you wouldn't be a worthy victim, and you're a lot closer to him than you may imagine.

Song Inspo: Is It Really You? By Loathe

Warnings: Canon-typical violence/cruelty, mentions of abuse, mentions of trauma, NSFW (18+ ONLY), Cazador is his own warning

Other Tags: Slow burn, eventual smut, fem!Reader, soulmates

A/N: Hello! I wanted to make a self indulgent first installment to this playlist event I’ve got linked below. This will probably be more than 2 parts. I'd love to create a tag list if folks are interested, but alas I do not know how. If you would like to be tagged in future updates, please comment below or message me and I'll make sure to add you.

Part 2 Part 3

Your dagger sliced through the belly of a dead sheep, your hands immediately moving to inspect the entrails. While magic in Faerûn was quite advanced, nobody had succeeded in finding out how to perfectly see the future. This meant that most had to resort to unusual forms of divination, such as haruspicy. This involved the sacrifice of an animal, inspecting the entrails, and speaking to the god that blessed one with this ‘talent’.

Your thumb rolled over the small intestine, causing your eyes to roll back into your skull. “Well girl, what do you see? Say it,” Cazador hissed, his nails digging into the sides of your throat. The dark lady, Shar, whispered into your thoughts.

“Lady Jannath will agree to your request to meet, you will acquire 6 spawn,” you mumbled, your mouth dry and lips trembling. Your head reeled as your eyes rolled back into place, your vision a little blurred as you got your bearings. You were so hungry, but you knew the vision wasn’t good enough to acquire more than a rat.

“And what of the deal?” His nails clenched harder, just breaking the skin of your neck. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes, fear nestling into the depths of your stomach.

“The dark lady knows nothing of the deal. The shadows were too great to understand if you would gain control over the area. All she told me is that you will keep the power you have now at least, my lord.” You choked out. With the grasp he had on your neck, he threw your head into the sacrificial table in front of you. You crumbled to the ground, hands immediately covering your head in defense. “Please my lord, I am hungry. It is all she allowed me to see I beg of you.” He tugged you by your hair onto your knees and bent down so that both of you were eye level with one another. You felt the all too familiar intrusion of your mind, your every vulnerable thought being exposed to him. He grabbed your chin, forcing you to keep eye contact with him; his thumb traced the ridge and squeezed it when he had pried all available information from you.

“I see you do not lie. Leave and fetch another animal, something larger. We will do this again, and you will tell me how this deal ends. Once you do, you will be fed.” You stood, and were roughly pushed to the door, feet tripping over each other as you grasped the door frame for support. “Now! Leave. My. Sight,” he hissed, the door slamming closed behind you as you stumbled through the darkness of the castle halls.

Astarion kicked a pebble with his shoe, slowly walking through the quiet streets of the lower city. His goal for tonight was the Elfsong, maybe a lonely human down on their luck and 5 drinks deep. His skin crawled at the thought, disgust with himself, with Cazador, worming it’s way through his veins.

He let his mind drift, thinking about the past 200 years — he at least thought it was around 200 years, but he had honestly lost count around year 5. He was nowhere near the Elfsong, instead walking near the edge of the city near the woods. Cazador surely can’t punish me more if I get his meal back to him an hour late, he thought. His feet stopped in place as he heard sniffling and stifled sobs nearby. He snuck closer, peering around the stone wall of a house, and he saw her.

His heart lurched, feeling a strange pull towards her; he wanted to see her face, maybe comfort her. His nose scrunched up and he averted his gaze. He shouldn’t be doing this, he needed to stick to the plan lest he end up with Godey for a fortnight. He looked back to her to see her looking straight at him, eyes the same color of red as his with her fangs peeking through in her shocked expression.

Warmth flooded his body as he stared at her. He had heard about true vampire mates from Dalyria whenever she gabbed on and on as he tried to fall into a trance. Could she be his? No, she can’t be. You’re just a spawn. This couldn’t possibly happen to you, you imbecile. He shook his head free from all thought and walked over to the bench she sat on. “Is this seat taken?”

If you had the blood to blush, you’re sure your face would be beet red. You’d never seen another spawn while out in the city, nevertheless the castle. Cazador only ever allowed you to interact with Leon, the longest favored spawn waiting hand and foot on his ‘cherished’ haruspex. You looked up into his eyes, the same wine red color, and you felt warmth flood through your cold skin and a tug at your unbeating heart. You nodded and patted the space next to you.

He sat with very little distance next to you, and glanced down at the wolf below you. He looked over your features more and noticed the fresh scratches and dirt covering your form. “Forgive me for asking… but were you fighting a wolf?” You let out a defeated chuckle.

“I’m the haruspex for our lordship. The vision Shar granted me tonight wasn’t to his liking so he sent me searching for a better, more sentient animal,” you looked down to the cobblestones below you, sighing weakly, “I’m not sure the vision will change. I can’t control what she tells me, which probably means no food for a month until his next request.”

Astarion placed a hand on your shoulder, scowling at the same ground. A shock raced through both of your bodies at the contact, jumping lightly. “You don’t deserve that. I’m sorry,” as he spoke, a thought entered his mind. “How come I’ve never seen you before? Surely I would have recognized your face you’re…” he trailed off. Your head tilted in question, waiting for him to continue. “Beautiful.”

You smiled at his quiet admission, looking over to his stark white curls, his pointed ears, his gaunt but perfectly sharp cheekbones. “He keeps me next to his personal quarters. I’ve never been allowed to see another spawn except for Leon, who oversees my practices and brings me the occasional rat— or cat if I’m lucky. We’ve become quite close. Well, as close as we can be with Godey’s supervision.” You heard a light growl at that. “I don’t love him of course, I’ve kind of lost any hope for that kind of relationship since I was turned,” you quickly assured, not wanting Astarion to get the wrong idea. You’d only just met him, you didn’t even know his name, but you felt deep down that you wanted to please him. “I also think you’re quite beautiful,” you whispered, looking to the sky in shy embarrassment.

Astarion didn’t understand why his stomach filled with rage when you spoke of being close to Leon. He wanted you to be close with him. He wanted to learn everything about you; what you loved, what you hated, who you were before this new life. He slid his palm from your shoulder to your hand, stroking your thumb gently as you looked back to him. “What’s your name?” He asked, already knowing it would be the most beautiful word to flutter from his lips.

You gave your name to him, your eyelids becoming hooded as you slowly leaned closer to him. He smiled and fully intwined your fingers.

“Astarion.” His lips met yours, and the tugging at your heart strained even more, an inseparable bond being created. You reached your free hand to his curls, pushing one behind his ear. As your finger stroked across the shell of his ear he let out a breathy moan into your mouth. He wrapped his free arm around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

He knew that you were his; his true mate.

He nipped softly at your lips and pulled away reluctantly. You both stared at each other with eyes full of adoration and soft, tender love in the mix. You smiled and cupped his cheek, eyes never leaving his. “Tell me about yourself, Astarion.”

He looked off to the side. “Hmm… well. Before all of this, I was a magistrate. There’s not much I remember except for that,” he sighed softly and you stroked his cheek with your thumb, encouraging him to continue. “I was attacked in an alleyway, beaten within an inch of my life. Cazador found me, offered help and more, and I took it. Now I’m here, I’ve been here for quite a while. 200 years perhaps. Seducing, silencing, and bringing back unaware victims for Cazador to consume. It’s monstrous,” he snarled.

“I don’t think you’re a monster,” you mumbled, searching his eyes which softened before you. “I think you’re just trying to get by. Same as me, same as Leon, same as all of the others. I think people often forget that spawn are victims to him just as anybody else. Sure, the longer end of the stick, but we’re all grasping at the same one.” He leaned into your hand, nuzzling your palm with his cheek.

“My dear, you might be the only one who sees that. But nevertheless, thank you. Now, enough about me. Tell me about yourself,” he gently smiled, rubbing your lower back with the hand wrapped around your waist.

“Well I don’t remember much of my family, but I remember my mother. Not her face, or anything specific, but how she made me feel. She made me feel so loved, supported. I cried a lot after I was turned. Because all I felt was this loss for her,” you sniffled a bit mentioning her, and Astarion squeezed your waist in a comforting gesture. “He must have loved me in his own fucked up way, because the next day I was bathed, dressed, and taken to a mother superior of Shar to learn haruspicy. It’s been about 350 years since that day, but I remember it like it was just this morning.”

He quirked his brow and the corners of his mouth turned downward. His concern flooded through your chest. “What do you mean by ‘loved’?” You filled with shame and broke eye contact with him. You maneuvered his arms from around you and stood, worry flashing across Astarion’s face. You motioned him over to undo the laces of your simple blood red gown. “If you also have one of his poems I wouldn’t be sur-“ his breath hitched as he took in the state of your back.

Near every inch of skin was marked by Cazador, each bite mark, bruise, and scratch in various stages of healing. “I don’t know if I would call it true love, he’s completely insane about me speaking to anyone. That’s why I can only talk to Leon, someone he knows wouldn’t turn their back on him. He’s tried to… be with me a couple of times. Each time I turn him down it’s a week in the dungeon.”

The emotional pain radiated off of you into Astarion’s heart. He could feel the pain of his mate, how she had been used. He brought her to his chest and wrapped a protective arm around her back, the pain being replaced with pure hate. “I want to get you away from him. I don’t want him to touch you ever again,” he growled. He buried his face in your hair and kissed your head. “You’re mine. And I’m yours. As long as you’ll have me.” He nuzzled the spot that he kissed.

You looked up into his love filled eyes timidly. “Astarion, I want that too, but I truly don’t know you very well. I don’t know why I feel so strongly for you, like I was made for you, but strangely I’m falling for you. I want to see where this goes first. And I don’t think Cazador will ever give up on finding me if I’m gone.”

He kissed your neck again and rubbed your sides. “You should ask Leon about true mates, without Godey if you can,” he mumbled as he looked to the sky. The blackness of the night had faded to a dark blue. He needed you to get back to the palace safely; the sun would rise soon. “Darling, we must go.”

Your head popped up, gasping at the lightness of the night sky. You let him take you back to the palace, frantically running away from the early morning Baldurian sun, the dead wolf cradled in your other arm. You were now a block away from the palace. Astarion took your wrist and nipped it. Your heart lurched in its place from the bond and you felt it might snap in two from how tight it had gotten. “Astarion… when will I see you again?” You looked frantically to the castle and then back to him, your worries being calmed ever so slightly by seeing him before you.

“Whenever the time is right, make sure Shar obscures one of your visions. I hunt for him every night. I will wait at the Elfsong tavern every night to see you again my love.” He kissed you fervently, lips moving affectionately with yours. He squeezed your hand and let it go. “Now go on darling, I would never forgive myself if you got punished for being out too late.” You walked backwards toward the palace, only breaking eye contact with your mate when you looked up to the window, clutching the wolf’s body tighter to your chest as you saw Cazador looking down to you in the courtyard from a tall window in his quarters. Astarion was just out of eye view from him and mouthed, “I’ll be right behind you, my sweet.” He was less scared of the punishment he would be receiving later, as he finally had something — someone — that was his.

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion x reader #astarion #18+ content #bg3 #bg3 astarion #slow burn #angst #astarion ancunin #soulmates #astarion x tav #astarion romance #fanfic #bg3 smut

[icanseethefuture333]

Solar Return Chart: Asteroid observations

Asteroids used:

Starr (4150)

Singer (10698)

Tone (1266)

Fama (408)

Talent (33154)

Actor (12238)

Lumerie (775)

Fan (151590)

Industria (389)

Universitas (905)

Sagittarius Starr in the 1st house 7°:

Stardom is a stronger placement than Fama in my opinion. You could always experience fame at some point in your life (being a meme, having a video go viral, etc) but it's nowhere near the level of stardom. This placement specifically shows how I will stand out in comparison to others. Sagittarius is well known for being philosophical, optimistic, and honest. People could appreciate or admire these characteristics that I have. Starr being in the 1st house could mean being popular for taking on the role of a leader and not being a follower. 1st house also pertains to the physical appearance as well as 7° (Libra degree), so I could be seen as having attractive attributes. I also interpert this as my personality being considered humorous and that I will be fair to others

Sagittarius Singer in the 1st house 7.59 (could be rounded to 8)°:

Sagittarius is so prominent in my Solar return chart it seems?! I see this as being a singer who's versatile and carefree. As much as I enjoy singing, I am not professionally trained, nor would I consider myself a technical singer. I see this as actually putting in the effort to practice and gaining wisdom from other singers techniques. This could also mean to sing various musical genres or blending different cultures into the songs I sing. This could mean singing in a foreign language as well. 1st house means to be discovered quite fast and be acknowledged by others for being a singer. 7°/8° (Libra and Scorpio degree) people could consider my voice as pretty and transformative. I coild possibly collaborate with other artists, and be involved with a lot of business matters (marketing my music, signing contracts, etc).

Pisces Tone in the 4th house 28°:

What a watery aspect to have JEEZ 😂! Tone pertains to how someone's voice sounds, so my speech could be softer in general this year or I will have a duality to my speaking voice. Being able to play around with different notes or feeling comfortable singing low or high notes. 4th house and 28° both embody Cancer energy. My voice could be regarded as feminine, soft, and gentle. It could also be obvious by my tone what emotions I feel (angry, sad, happy, etc) and having a harder time masking that. There will overall be a sincerity expressed in how I talk.

Capricorn Fama in the 2nd house 18°:

Capricorn Fama is a interesting placement considering it feels neutral here. I see this as having knowledge and means for me to become a celebrity. As a child, I remember I used to watch Yogi Bear on Boomerang and he would always say that he was "Smarter than the average bear" when that wasn't actually true, Boo Boo was a cub and much smarter than his elder. It could be possible I meet celebrities who are well seasoned and think they could steal my "picnic basket" so to speak. They could think they're better than me and would try to convince me to take opportunities from others to get ahead, when that's not how I roll. This placement requires me to be wise when it comes to having fame. I interpert the 2nd house as if I work hard and focus on my goals, I should be able to succeed financially. 18° (Virgo Degree) I believe means there will have to be a balance of health and work. Being famous for health or humanitarian matters is also a factor.

Scorpio Talent in the 12th house 17°:

The talent asteroid is comfortable with the 17° (Leo degree). It represents long term fame and being well known for your talents. This placement represents me very well when it comes to my talents. I am someone who is quite shy and being in the spotlight can be nervewracking for me. I am able to do a lot of things from drawing, singing, etc, but I am not very public about my talents or skills because it draws too much attention. Scorpio is very private, they are known for hiding anything personal about themselves and typically are considered mysterious to others. The 12th house could also mean hidden talents coming to the surface. I see this as slowly coming out of the shadows and allowing my talents to speak for themselves. It reminds me of indie artists when they start gaining popularity and people have discussions as in "Have you heard of this person?" or "Do you know about xyz?". My talents could be spiritually guided or there will be inspiration that comes from my subconscious thoughts. It is possible I will receive signs or premonitions within my dreams. People could ask what is the meaning or how did I become so talented at something but my geniune response would be "I don't know where it came from it just came to me honestly?". I see this as being humble regarding talents and not being someone who brags. This is a comfortable placement for fame and I see this as being known for having a good reputation. My talents could pertain to psychology, the occult, divination, and the arts.

Leo Actor in the 9th house 5°:

I see that I would be successful if I were to start an acting career! There could be a lot of potential for my acting skills and I would have to take lessons to improve them (9th house often being considered the house of travel, knowledge, and education). This could also mean I will be casted for roles because of my race or cultural background. It is possible it would be required for me to travel for my acting career or I would have to speak in a foreign language. 5° degree is the Leo degree and it also signifies short term fame, going viral, or being famous for your beauty. So this could mean getting casted for advertisements, commercials, and passing modeling auditions. Either way, I will gain prominence in the acting industry because of my charm, charisma, and appearance (I.E: Being selected for roles solely because of my looks).

Leo Lumiere in the 9th house 29°:

This asteroid is specific to film and photography, astrologers interpert this as what roles an actor specializes in. I see the Leo energy for this asteroid as being casted for glamorous and lavish roles or being casted to play a character that's brave or having "main character" energy. As in films that have a coming of age story. I see that I could be casted for roles internationally or will have to film in places out of the country. 29° is a big indication of long term fame but since it is a karmic degree, it could possibly mean having to play in roles that are controversial or challenges what society views as the standard.

Aquarius Fan in the 3rd house 18°:

I could gain fans/followers for shared interests and values. There will be discussions surrounding activism and social causes. People could admire my individuality and ability to be a free thinker. My fans will be mostly on social media platforms and could see them being interested in what I think or have to say. This could mean gaining attention from videos, podcasts, blog posts, or any thing that is a form of written/verbal communication. I could form connections with students from my school as well. 18° (Virgo degree) pertains to health, analytics, and human services.

Gemini Industria in the 7th house 14°:

I am a Communication major and this is a significant placement for me since it pertains to jobs in that career field. It is likely I will be able to work in jobs that pertain to communication such as journalism, podcasts, social media influencer, and so on. The 7th House and 14° degree entails Venusian energy (The 7th house representing Libra and 14° is a Taurus degree). This could mean I could work in the beauty, music, banking/investment, & design industry. I could see myself working in jobs related to beauty advertisement, investing in stocks for companies, and working as a intern for a art gallery/fashion magazine. I also see this a positive indication for singing and modeling. This placement feels very luxurious to me and reminds me of "The Devil Wears Prada". Andy was a college graduate and aspiring journalist who ended up working at a fashion magazine. Could symbolize working in a industry that's Glamorous but also requires communication skills, diplomatic behavior, and great determination.

Aquarius Universitas in the 3rd house 17°:

I associate Aquarius with science and technology. My experience for university this could mostly focus on subjects related to this topic. Interesting enough, for this winter quarter I have 3 classes that are all focused on science (global climate, flower science, & the application of computers in technology). 3rd house has to do with communication, intrapersonal thoughts, and social activities. It is possibly I could make friends through my classes. I am likely to participate in more extracurricular activities or school events this year. 17° (Leo Degree), I see this being considered a "picture perfect student". My mother has spoken with one of my academic advisors recently and they have stated that they were impressed with my diligence when it comes to completing coursework. I might be included in one of the photographs for my university's newspaper or social media platforms.

#asteroids #solar return chart #astro observations #astrology observations #fama #singer asteroid #lumiere #talent asteroid #actor asteroid #industria #fan asteroid #universitas asteroid

[thefrogsennaneverfound]

I ask this question from a curiosity standpoint, and don’t mean to seem rude or anything, but why don’t you like Daniel Ricciardo? Am I missing something?

He’s far less offensive than a lot of the other drivers. He has a tendency to awkwardly laugh rather than say “that’s a shitty joke. Not okay”, which is frustrating, but not even in the same universe as something like Lance Stroll physically assaulting his trainer.

Like all F1 drivers, he wants to be WDC and talks a big talk, but he’s still nowhere near as obnoxious as a lot of the other drivers, who all think and say the same.

Maybe my understanding isn’t correct? As far as I know, his only really shit time as a driver was with McLaren in 2022, and words like “scapegoating” and “sabotage” get thrown around a lot. In 2021, he gave McLaren its only win in over a decade, and it wasn’t team orders based, and he hauled Renault back up into the podium as well, for their first time in almost a decade. I don’t think he should have left Red Bull, and I don’t think he’s necessarily an Alonso or Verstappen level talent, but he also made those Red Bulls and Renaults that he drove look a lot better than they were.

It's not just about what a driver's like on the track; it's his attitudes off the track too and Ricciardo has really bad form. As for dragging the Renault into the points, and the Red Bull when it was underperforming - that's his job and the cars weren't that bad. If he'd swapped with one of the back markers at the time, they'd likely have performed just the same. Plus, if he made the Red Bull look better than it was, why wasn't he the one winning championships in it? Why did Vettel get all that action when all Ricciardo got was a handful of race wins?

Anyway, here's (just some of) why I firmly believe that Daniel Ricciardo is every bit as obnoxious as the most obnoxious drivers on the grid. If you don't read right to the end, and I wouldn't blame you, please at least take in the part I've highlighted in red; it pretty much sums up the type of character he is and why I - along with many others - really do feel that he's most definitely obnoxious.

“I don’t watch the news and feel better about my day so I choose not to watch it.” Just one direct quote regarding his complete and shameless ignorance about the extreme humans rights abuses prevelent in some of the countries F1 travels to. What it amounts to is that the “drama and negativity” (his own words) of news reports on out-dated and abusive attitudes to women and LGBTQ people is a buzz kill so he’d rather not know about it, thanks all the same.

His attitude to the sexist objectification of the (now thankfully defunct) Grid Girls: "It's kind of like part of the attraction of the sport, fast cars and fast girls,". In his opinion, because it’s a male dominated sport it’s “a cool thing” so “let’s keep them”. If that's not obnoxious, I don't know what is.

On “Your Mom’s House” (a lowest common denominator podcast aimed at pathetic little boys who think they’re men) he laughed along with deeply sexist, misogynistic ‘jokes’ about women. There are plenty of drivers who would, at the very least, have kept their reactions neutral, making it clear they didn’t think it funny, but not Ricciardo; he was more than content to chuckle away at their vile comments about women.

Tricking Yuki Tsunoda into trusting him to come closer on a boat so he could throw him overboard, because it’s funny to force someone to face a very real phobia of sharks by throwing them into a body of water that’s widely known to contain them. I don’t care what Tsunoda’s reaction was to it (it's common for the victim of bullying to make light of their ordeal) or that Ricciardo threw himself into the water too; it’s still an appalling way to treat someone when they’ve been brave enough to be in such close proximity to one of their greatest fears. It’s the behaviour of a bully and Ricciardo is the worst kind of that particular species – a charming bully. The reason he gets away with so much of his crappy behaviour is because so many people are taken in by a cheeky smile, a twinkle in the eyes, and the friendly disclaimer that it’s just a bit of fun; they’re just trying to lighten the mood and make people laugh. It’s always at someone else’s expense though.

Given he was in a highly competitive Red Bull for all those years, he won precious few races, and left because he wasn’t getting the attention he thought was his right. I know athletes have to have an enormous amount of self-belief but to have looked at a racer like Verstappen and sincerely felt that he was his equal? That’s delusional. But is that really how he felt? Or did he – like so many who can’t face real competition when they know someone else is going to come out on top – jump ship because being a big fish in a small pond is preferable to being outperformed and therefore second best? I don’t know which it is but if he really, genuinely, sincerely thought he was on the same level as, first, Verstappen and then Norris, surely he’s just not very bright?

Monza 2021 absolutely was a team orders win for Ricciardo. Have you listened to Norris’s radio? He was faster; he wanted to pass; he asked if he could pass; he was told to maintain position. Either the team were concerned that the two might take each other out (although I am absolutely certain that Norris could have made that move with ease so was it more a case of Ricciardo taking Norris out if he tried to overtake?) or Ricciardo’s ego was so fragile by that point (Norris had been wiping the floor with him) that they decided he needed the win to boost his confidence and get a few more much needed points for McLaren. Either way, Norris was robbed of his maiden victory because he’s a team player who obeyed team orders rather than saying “screw this; I can win and I’m damn well gonna win”. I respect him for playing the team game but I hate the fact that Ricciardo got an undeserved win at his considerable expense (that’s not hyperbole; a driver’s first F1 win really is huge).

You're probably sorry you asked now.

#anti-Daniel Ricciardo #Yuki Tsunoda #Max Verstappen #Lando Norris #McLaren Racing #Renault racing #Red Bull Racing #just my opinion #Formula One

[jessaerys]

five hyperspecific near headcanons?

(THIS IS SO LONG SORRY. YOU KNOW WHAT I AM!!!!)

gonna take headcanons here to mean “stuff that is entirely not canon” so these are (varying levels of unfounded) personal canonverse facts i’ve come up with as i write him: 

i.

has special interest in space / cosmology / astrophysics / astrobiology / space exploration etc etc etc. (extremely self indulgent of me but i love to have fun) it used to be very all-consuming when he was little and not afraid to want things. 

it was eventually demoted to the backseat as his focus shifted towards his studies so by the time we meet him in canon it has been fully repressed into something he considers childish (though i’d like to think he found an excuse [perhaps through a case] to keep correspondence going with the brightest minds at the SETI institute and they have ocassional videocalls where he pokes holes in their theories on the origins of life he insists it is simply mantaining connections that may one day prove relevant. it is a productive use of my time agent gevanni do not question my methodology) 

when i think of near i think of saint-exupéry’s the little prince and his watercolor illustrations of a little boy on a little round planet -- actually, a lil exerpt:

near is very little-prince coded in his curiosity and love for humanity and golden heartedness and deep mysterious melancholy – he is sad and he doesn’t know he is sad!! to be a cosmonaut is to be an observer, unmoored from the world, not quite of this earth. which actually leads me to,

ii.

he is from nowhere/belongs to no-one/ has no past and no land to return to.

he was in a couple different orphanages since he was a newborn and any paperwork he could’ve had got lost in the shuffle: it was roger who named him nate river just to have something on the records; his oldest memories are from wammy’s, the first person he ever loved was L, there’s never been anything else for him.

i know “has no racial identity” seems like a cop-out but i actually find it interesting to set him up so that he is unlinked from such a basic experience of community in modern society. because of his albinism there isn’t even a melanin scale to point him in the right direction; his looks are very racially ambiguous (ie. 3a/3b curls, very slight/partial double eyelids, etc), his parents untraceable. if he ever took a dna test it would confirm a thoroughly mixed background of many different ethnicities due to european immigration – but he has never taken a dna test because it would mean he cares which means he would have to think about what other people have and he doesn’t which would mean mourning a loss. and there is no use having feelings about that which he cannot change; no use looking back. mello looks back, and look where that's landed him--

(tangent: in contrast mello’s troubled background in the wartorn balkans until he was relatively older (5-6) and his reconnection with his birthplace in croatia after he left wammy’s is a crucial and defining pillar of his identity (personal canonverse courtesy of local mello phd haver @firebuggg) so this is yet another contrast between them. but we do not have time to get into that)

(tangent number 2:

L to mello in private: why does it matter? the war is behind you. looking back slows you down

L to near also in private: how can a detective know anything if he doesn’t first know himself?

near and mello ages 5 and 7, in their minds: i am the only one who understands L)

actually near's john silver slay is thee most important characterization touchstone for me tbh whenever people give him a backstory it just weirds me the fuck out

what do you mean he remembers his mother that would mean being An Individual and Not A Child Soldier !!!! he is wammy's perfect little grooming blank slate thank you very much

iii.

as a baby he was SO cute SO round SO feral. beautiful glowing cherubic marmalade-eyed biting screaming wildchild. wary as a cat with a talent for finding hiding spots inside the walls and so very autistic. an enfant terrible!! this is possibly why he moved through so many foster homes before wammys. 

for a couple of years until age, like, 5, the only people he felt comfortable enough around to speak to in coherent words were L and later mello* 

his method of communication with the rest of the teachers / caregivers / other children was opening his mouth and unleashing the most terrible banshee shriek a 3-4-5 year old could unleash upon god's green earth

through the rest of their childhood known annoyingest older brother on earth mihael "mello" kheel was ocassionally able to figure out how to unlock a Near Nuclear Meltdown, though it was a very rare occurrence as soon enough near graduated to going stiff and heavy on the floor wherever they tried to make him do something he did not want to do. and good luck getting him to move without lifting him corpse deadweight style. garden. hallway. classroom floor. middle of the stairs. he is and has always been a willful little thing !!!!!!!!!

i'm protected under the awning of this readmore so this is My City Now here are some exerpts courtesy of @firebuggg and yours truly

(sequential)

(not sequential)

*(unfortunately, this meant he was accidentally straight up accidentally twilightzoning mello for at least two years after being introduced to each other because what mello kept hearing was [functionally mute kid who usurped your number one spot, exclusively when nobody is around to hear it]: No One Will Ever Believe You) 

iv.

this one’s kind of stupid but i think it’d be funny if wammy’s DOES adopt kids out occasionally possibly from the bottom half of the L successor ranking in order to keep the facade of being an orphanage and not an unethical human child experiment (perhaps to wealthy people who want to skip the bureaucracy of going through the proper channels. you know how it is) (it also makes such a good boogeyman: if you don't get in the bath roger will give you out for adoption !!!!!!)

anyway once feral baby near escaped containment when there were prospective parents over browsing the (available) children and a couple was completely charmed with him and they, as is the fashion of wealthy people to do whatever the fuck they want, took him out for a lovely walk/car ride/park visit/ice-cream sundae, all sunny and warm and sitting on the young woman’s lap, getting loved on, hearing, “would you like to come live with us little one?” 

when they bring near back they are informed that unfortunately near is very much NOT up for adoption (someone definitely gets fired over that one) (dfsddfsdjfdfj)

this gets LEGENDARILY joked about by mello and matt and their popular kids entourage until they leave wammys. this definitely did not give near any complexes whatsoever

anyway once when the three of them are adults it comes up when they’re in the middle of joking around and it triggers yet another round of relentless Unadoptable Near teasing until matt and mello drive the joke right into the ground where it wheezes a last breath into an increasingly awkward silence as they Realize,

v.

ok lighting round:

had L survived as near grew into his teens they WOULD have had an EXTREMELY contentious mother-daughter relationship

much like mello he too has a deep well of unaddressed (repressed) rage within him (like sam winchester. sorry for bringing supernatural into this)

people often write that near only eats bland/white(?) foods but i think being vegan suits him also it's funny as hell. not out of any ideological motivation he was just an extremely picky eater and also do you think that frail body could handle meat. if he could get away with it all he would it is raw fruits and vegetables (chopped into small cubes)(note: this is not bland, just insane)(it’s the scampering rabbit in him) 

extremely at risk of developing a smoking habit. that boy can fit so much tension in his little body do you think his developing teenage brain would not immediately latch onto the treacherous instant clarity and peace of nicotine

5. did i mention repression. did i mention the absolute terror that seizes him at the thought of experiencing desire/hunger/longing/want. if you made it this far have a reward:

#i cant even put humorous tags on this sorry i imprinted on a secondary character from famous 2003-2006 manga death note #you cannot possibly comprehend how embarrassing this is to me and yet with my clown shoes i tread onwards #nate river #near dn #death note #meronia #mihael keehl #mello death note #brothercrush.txt

[class1akids]

Did bakugo just say I can't defeat him by myself at the end of the chapter ?

I think you have to read it together with the panel at the end of the last chapter. To me, it feels like maybe what Bakugou was meaning there: "how could i have ever hoped to beat that?" and in this chapter the answer is "no way I could have done this alone".

I also understand it that Bakugou is not talking only about this last portion of the fight, which was more or less a one-sided targer-practice. AFO's monster form shows all the immense amount of power he gathered - but by the time he faces Bakugou, he's been weakened blow by blow by all the people who fought him (and all the people who supported them like Melissa building the AM suit or the Class B girls working with Mt Lady), and also AFO has been let down by the vestiges. Plus, Bakugou's victory is tied back to Yoichi and Kudou's will, who have started the chain that linked up to this moment.

These are just the events in the final fight that got AFO to the point where he's a child, where he's rapidly rewinding, where he's desperate because Shigaraki rejected him, where the ghosts of the past haunt him to irrational anger, where the quirk factors are rebelling against him. It's a nine-generation fight and a present-day group fight where finally all the stars align to beat him. It's the fight of the people AFO called "extras".

Bakugou simply gets to be the final link, the "killing blow". (Not literally, I don't think Bakugou is killing AFO technically). But that in no way shape or form is meant to mean that Bakugou could have faced him alone when AFO first rewound to prime form and soloed him. Picture AFO as a raid-boss in a video game, Bakugou as the DPS who goes down in the beginning of the raid, gets revived by the healers with a power boost just in time when all the other members of the raid party have been knocked out, and gets to land a final blow (which is still pretty cool because to achieve that, it still needs Bakugou's genius to quickly catch up to his new abilities and coming up with a good plan on the fly with his impeccable battle sense. I don't think just anyone could have done that - it needed a pretty special talent.).

Bakugou - because he was down for most this fight - probably has no idea exactly who contributed or how. He probably has no idea if his friends and other heroes are even alive. But I guess seeing All Might in AFO's clutches must give him an inkling that things went to shit at Gunga and that the heroes were literally throwing every last bit of resource they had at AFO, including the quirkless guy. Bakugou is simply the (last?) piece of the chain - linking poetically from the origin of OFA to OFA growing beyond its users thanks to All Might's Symbol of Peace and becoming not just a literal power-stockage for one person, but an ideal that links all the people together who want live up to those ideals. (Btw, I wouldn't be surprised if in the next chapter, AFO's final demise would connect back to Yoichi in some way. If Bakugou was Kudo's revenge, I think maybe the last laugh should go to Yoichi - in the vestige world - or the Yoichi stand-in, Tomura).

From Bakugou's perspective, last time he tried to stand up to AFO alone (in Shigaraki's quirk-erased body), he got dissed and badly beaten and died. He knows he had to be rescued, revived and he couldn't do it by himself (self-exploding sweat notwithstanding).

I think this is simply an acknowledgement of how at that point he was looking at it wrong - because of course nobody can beat this guy alone, and also it doesn't even matter. The important thing is that they can do it all together if everyone does their part. So I think Bakugou is now maybe at the point where he finally lets go of the idea of measuring his own heroism mainly through power-scaling lenses of his own quirk. Because Explosion is stronger right now than ever. And even at its strongest, it's nowhere near the level of AFO's accrued power. But Bakugou can still win, because he can unleash his power and AFO can't. It's about Bakugou's idea of the "perfect victory": trusting your allies, playing your part, connecting the chain and trust that someone will have your back when you are in trouble. It's also about acknowledging people who helped you, who taught you, who made you stronger (this is something Deku has always done, but we barely ever see it from Bakugou who used to believe that he alone was hot shit).

That's literally the theme of the entire endgame. Nobody gets a win alone - not Izuku, not All Might, not Bakugou, not anyone.

Some of the execution was not great, but I'm fairly certain this is the point HK is trying to make - everyone was essential. Bakugou never could have done a 1 v 1 against AFO.

And on the other hand, that's the villain's downfall. In the PLF war, it was the bonds the LoV built that saved them. But AFO's possession of Shigaraki left those bonds in a sorry state, left the LoV scattered, each member fighting only for their own goals.

#c1a asks #bakugou katsuki #bnha 409 #bnha manga spoilers #bnha meta #afo

[infamous-if]

I am having impression that the MC has basically no potential compared with the somewhat peers? I might feel more understanding toward MC who is maybe five years younger than this, but knowing that S’s band that is much newer is already twice as many listeners as MC who has been around forever, or knowing G is one or two years older and MC is nowhere near that level, I feel embarrassed for my MC and worried that everyone at the competition will be thinking MC is underqualified and ridiculous 🥸

Full disclosure: I actually laughed at this because you made me step back and realize MC kind of dropped the ball a little with their career so far kidding

There will be doubters, and you can even tailor your MC to being a pretty negative person toward their future, either out of fear or lack of confidence, but I assure you, MC is very talented, their band just hasn't had that...moment that has thrown them in the big leagues. No viral video, no song that blew up. They have been on a very organic and steady stream so far.

G was discovered at around fifteen so they had a lot of time to get as famous as they are, and they basically grew up in the spotlight. They've been famous for a pretty long time.

As for Seven...hmm well, I guess you can say that Seven just has that star power that makes it easier for them. They were always meant to be famous, and they're one of those people who that can get people to like them even if they're being an asshole. Something about Seven is just so...people just gravitate towards them. Not only are they physically attractive, but for some reason people want Seven to like them. An odd thing, too, since Seven wasn't at all popular back in high school lol

But yes, there will be people who think your MC and/or your MC's band doesn't deserve their fame/success. But the great thing is that MC can prove all their naysayers wrong!

#inbox #mc #g reign #seven lawless #its 3 am and i just saw the typo soz...

[karalovesallthegirls]

Circus AU + Bodyguard AU: Supercorp, if you please

I read this and knew instantly I had to add a story to the MCU (mimecorp universe).

---

Lena was born to be an aerialist. That’s not hyperbole – her birth mother was a brilliant acrobat. Lena did not know much about her, but she knew that. She knew she was poor and talented and desperate, and that when the illustrious Ringmasters of the Luthor dynasty offered her weight in gold for the baby she carried the woman jumped at the chance. 

She got a handsome payment to live off of for years, and they got Lena.

From the moment she could grip silk she was trained in the aerialist arts. Her childhood consisted of unbearably hot spotlights and grueling routines, hours and hours on end pushing her body to its limits. It was all she knew. 

She was raised alongside the Luthor’s son Lex, who took a cruel liking to her. He dragged her around with him wherever he pleased. He took a perverse pleasure in showing her off to all the other performers as his “little sister”, though he treated her more like a pet. It was all a funny game to him, this little girl they bought for their entertainment. They even gave her their last name.

Even still, she was not their family. There was no love for Lena in the Luthor household, and she was made to sleep on the floorboards of their mansions as they traveled from show to show. But she wasn’t in the tents like the rest of the performers, and as far as they knew she was sleeping on silks like royalty.

The Luthors mocked and neglected her. The circus resented her for her supposed status. She was, at all times, utterly alone. She lived like that for years, well into her young adulthood.

And then Lex burned the big tent down.

He was drunk and reckless, and one of the acrobats he’d had an eye on rejected his advances and he’d become so enraged that he’d torn the backroom apart, screaming and throwing and tearing in such a fury that he didn’t even notice the candle he’d knocked into the cloth siding until the entire room was ablaze.

Three performers died that night, a dozen were injured. Lex was arrested and set for trial, and the Luthor empire crumbled. The circus dissolved.

Lena remembers running into the house and grabbing onto Lillian, the closest thing to a mother she’d ever known, and asking her what they should do. In disgust Lillian shook off her grip. “I’m going up north to support my son. What you do is your prerogative.”

“Mother-” Lena said, and Lillian snapped back. “I am not your mother, and you are not a child. There is no more circus so there is no more reason to keep you around. Figure your own life out.” And with that, the only life Lena had ever known was gone.

She floats aimlessly for a while, working odd jobs and trying to build something for herself. She’s bad at most things. Clumsy and slow. Her entire life was driven by a single, solitary purpose of performance. Working in anything else feels unnatural and difficult.

Eventually, a circus comes to the town she’s been trying and failing to build a life in. It’s a small one, nowhere near the glamor and prestige Luthor Circus once had, but the second Lena sees Those show lights she feels a yearning she can��t shake. That is, for all its faults, the only life she’s ever known.

She approaches the ringmaster, a surly man named J’onn with an unreadable face, and begs for an audition. He watches her performance, sees the way she twists and contorts in the air with ease, and tells her no. 

It’s too expensive, he says, and their equipment isn’t up to par to her skill level. He doesn’t need an old loose rope to snap and send her hurdling to her demise. He doesn’t need her to spend a few weeks with them only to grow bored and seek better opportunities. She’s too qualified for a place like theirs.

“Please,” she says, with a desperation that fills the room like a noxious fume. “I have nowhere to go.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, and he almost sounds sincere. “I’ll walk you out, Miss…”

“Luthor,” she says. “Lena Luthor.”

She can see it register in his eyes then. 

He hires her.

It feels like slipping into a well-worn pair of shoes, being in the circus. The lights, the sounds, the obvious disdain of everyone around her – it all feels like home.

Word spreads fast that she’s a Luthor, and before she even meets them the entire acrobat crew actively despises her. They stop talking when she walks into rooms, they leave when she sits down at a table to eat. They make it clear she can sleep somewhere other than their tents. The first night she wakes up to find her clothes soaked with some foul-smelling liquid and her mud smeared in her hair. She opts to sleep outside the night after that.

Thankfully, they’re in a dry place for a while, and there’s a strange sort of peace in laying on her cot under so many stars. She sleeps through most of the night peacefully but wakes up shivering sometime before dawn, her blankets mysteriously gone. At some point, someone stole them. Of course.

She tries to lay for a few more futile minutes before it becomes unbearable, and she has no choice but to get up and find warmth. She follows the smoky smell and crackling sounds until she finds the main campfire and, much to her misfortune, a stranger sitting beside it.

They don’t see her immediately, eyes aimed distantly at the flames, and Lena deliberates on just going back to her cot. The frosted dew behind her feels unthinkable against that intoxicating warmth, and despite the consequences Lena quietly sits by the fire a ways from the stranger staring ahead.

It's surprising how long it takes the stranger to notice her, but when they do, she’s met with a warm smile and a laugh.

“Oh jeez, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize anyone else was here. I must have looked quite odd just sitting here.” Lena is quiet. She’s not sure if they know who she is at this point, and anything she can do to prolong her access to the fire she’ll do. “Is it okay if I sit here a while?” she finally asks, and the stranger smiles. It’s a kind smile. She’s not used to those. “Of course,” the stranger says, and goes back to that strange fire stare. They sit in silence for a long time. Lena finds herself relaxing into the steady warmth. Despite herself, she nods off. She wakes up some time later to scuffling and shouting above her (when had she laid down?) and she opens her eyes to see the stranger punching someone in the face. 

“Get away from her!” the stranger shouts, standing between her and the dazed man sprawled on the ground. She recognizes him from earlier – he’d dumped a drink on her book she’d been reading after dinner. 

“Why are you protecting her?” the man screams back, clutching his now heavily bleeding nose. “She’s a fucking Luthor!”

Lena’s heart stops at hearing that, and she scoots away from the conflict until her back hits the log she’d been sitting on just a few hours before. She wonders if the stranger will turn and punch her like that. Instead, the stranger seems even angrier with the man. “I don’t care if she’s Satan’s sister, you’re not gonna touch her.”

Lena can’t see whatever expression they have, but she can see the man’s reaction to it. He looks almost frightened.  “Whatever,” he says, dusting himself off. “It’s your fucking funeral, Kara.”

And with that he stumbles away, ego and face aching, and the stranger – Kara, apparently – turns to smile at her. “I’m sorry I woke you,” Kara says, absolutely baffling her. “If you’d like to go back to sleep I’ll stand watch.”

Some feeling prickles inside of her, radiating from her chest down to her lap. She doesn’t know what it is, but it terrifies her. She wants to feel it forever.

“I’m… I’m fine. You didn’t have to do that.” “Of course I did! I’m not going to let some knucklehead mess with you when you’re asleep.”

“Do you not know who I am?” she’s almost desperate as she asks. She doesn’t understand. Kara shrugs. “Lena Luthor. I heard. Still not gonna let anyone mess with you.”

How the hell does she respond to something like that? A voice in the distance calls out Kara’s name then, cutting off her anxious spiral, and Kara smiles at her. “I have to go to practice, but my tent is the blue one just over there. I’m the lead so I have it to myself, so. You can stay there with me, if you'd like.” Her face must look some kind of way because Kara is quick to add, “I can sleep on the floor, or outside by the fire. I’m not- I don’t want to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

Every part of her mind tells her it’s a trap, it’s a setup, there’s a shoe waiting to fall hard on her head. That unfamiliar feeling tingles even harder. The feeling wins. “Okay,” she whispers, and is rewarded with another bright smile from Kara. “You said you’re the lead. Are you an acrobat?” For the first time since meeting, Kara looks uncomfortable, face going bright red all at once. It’s sweet, and that feeling hits Lena again somewhere low and terrifying.  “No not so much, I’m actually, uh,” a cough, and finally, “I’m the lead clown.”

For the first time, Lena really notices Kara’s face. Notices the faint remnants of paint, the slight white hue left behind after washing. She notices how bright Kara’s clothes actually are. She’s a fucking clown. “Oh,” Lena says, and the feeling intensifies.

#I am only able to write if I'm writing something absolutely unhinged #I fucking love writing clown kara and horny-for-clowns lena #aka just canon supercorp #mcu #supercorp mime au #trope mashup

[mitsies]

Hi!! Hello—I hope you don’t think I’m stalkerish, but I’m the author of Intrinsic Warmth and I came across your tumblr and oh my gosh I just wanted to say thank you ??? This is insane

I am so incredibly honoured (???) that you think so highly of my silly little Gojo fanfiction. Like, genuinely. Its description in your rec list nearly made me cry—it is so flattering and so ridiculous to me that people actually enjoy my little side hobby (which is IW)?? I write it with nowhere near the dedication that some ao3 authors do—I’m a hobby busybody as well as a school neek, which is why updates take so long!!!—and so I literally do not expect people to stick around to follow it, like, at all. And the fact that people do?? And that they look forward to updates??! I feel like I’m repeating myself but I’m genuinely in shock.

I’m trying to think of coherent things to say but I am struggling so hard, oh my gosh. I genuinely cannot convey how baffling it is to see people talking about IW in a way not directed specifically at me, like comments, or something (which is another thing!! The fact that someone—like, *you*!!—has put my fic on a REC LIST?!?! INSANE!!! *I* use rec lists! All the time!! Wtf?!?! Being put on a rec list, that’s for real ao3 authors, and I’m just someone who writes on ao3, man! Insane. Truly insane). So you know, this has been sent to the girls’ groupchat because I needed someone to freak out about it to.

I don’t even know what to say. I saw a post you made about saving IW in case ao3 went down again?? Firstly, I can assure you that ao3 is in no danger and that it’s not going anywhere—but dude, if for whatever reason some random bloody nuclear disaster doomsday apocalypse happens and it does go down, I will literally send you the latest chapters direct >:) Do not fear. Truly the least I can do, my lord.

Jesus, I feel like I need to do something! Like, is there something you want from me?? LMAO. I feel like a poser. It’s like at the end of 2013 wattpad stories where the author would host a q&a with their characters / themself. Can I answer some cool elusive question over here on tumblr?? IDK. I have no idea but I just want to show my thanks for genuinely making my week, good lord.

I think I’ve conveyed how bloody insane this is for me. I’m truly so grateful. This is wild. You’re the best. Thank you so much.

oh my GOSH. i just want to start this off by saying .. this is so embarrassing for me. holy SHIT this is embarrassing — and insane, of course, and shocking, and so so many things but i am so sorry you had to watch me fangirl 25/8 over your work.

right now how i'm feeling could best be described as a cult leader (because i think i've started a small cult in your name.. sorry) whose like deity has come down in human form to speak to them for the first time. like this is so insane, i can't fully verbalise how crazy getting this ask is 😭 in case you havent picked up im a big fan!! i know i sound absolutely insane rn and i sincerely hope i don't sound as big of an idiot as i feel but i have quite literally sent voice notes upwards of 20 minutes to my friend about your work like i am SUCH a fan

i have received so many asks, messages, dms of people who have read IW at my recommendation and it is so fully deserved :,) you are such an insanely talented wordsmith and i don't think i've ever read a fic that conveys characters in such depth and with that level of emotional complexity. i admire you and your writing so insanely much, honestly in the least weird, least crazy, least stalker way possible you are such an inspiration to me in my own writing — you are so eloquent and verbose, in a way i aspire to be !! so you're not only a fantastic writer but you're a baseline, inspiration, & motivator, and i can't thank you enough for that

i genuinely believe that intrinsic warmth is one of the most amazing things i've read on ao3, and my fav fic work overall like ever forever and ever like honestly i could be dead in the ground 6ft under and halfway to hell and i'd still find time for my monthly reread 😭😭 it's absolutely insane that you say this makes your week because oh my gosh, i will be thinking about this for the rest of the month. might even add "thatdesklamp noticed xx" to my bio for good measure ! honest to god in my silly little head u are a celebrity and im like a crazy fangirl jumping at ur feet like a chihuahua or something .. would literally jump off a bridge if you asked me to !

with all that being said, i don't think i am graceful enough to convey the absolute adoration i hold for you and your writing. like wow. like holy shit like woooow wow. that's all i've got left in me — you are amazing, i hope you know that . welcome to tumblr, trust that this will likely not be the last u hear of my fangirling :,) SO MUCH LOVE!

#don't even worry because this ask went straight to my gc so i could rave abt you even more #you ARE a real ao3 author are u kidding and in my humble unbiased opinion u are one of the best #im still in shock and will take 3-7 days to come out of a catatonic state rn so excuse this half-hearted response u deserve the world #mitz asks #TLDR: im ur biggest fan.

[friendly-books]

Changes live blogs

Changes live blog

This book took me a month to finish. Freaking out and needing to lay down and cry didn’t help. I have THOUGHTS and OPINIONS about Mab and the winter knight mantel.  

Content warning: Sexual assault  

So it begins 

This book is going to change everything. 

I can’t wait for dad Harry. 

“They’ve taken our daughter.” pg. 1 What a way to open a book.

Harry’s living out every parent's worst nightmare. 

“And she never told me.” pg. 4 Why didn’t Susan tell Harry they had a daughter.

“I’d never really forgiven myself for what happened to her.” pg. 5 It’s not your fault.

“I looked at him, shocked…he’d used grammar.” pg. 8 Ha

Wow Mac is really giving good advice. 

“It seems like something you should have told me.” pg. 15 Yep why didn’t Susan tell Harry? 

“How many people have gotten killed around you, Harry?” pg. 16 That’s not fair to Harry. 

Wow, Harry really doesn’t like Martin.

“Duke Ortega’s widow. She’s sworn revenge on me” pg. 32 But Harry didn’t kill Ortega, that was Ebenezer? 

The Red Court really used Harry’s office. Ouch poor Harry.

“Fuck subtle” pg. 35 Ha and so cool.

“It saw me round the corner, and its goggling black eyes seemed to get even larger. It let out a scream of…

Terror

It screamed in fear.” pg. 38 Yep Harry is scary 

Did…did the vampire run through the wall???

“Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that’s me.” pg. 39 Ha

“Those jerks,” I said, “They told us it was they were cleaning out asbestos!” pg. 42 Ha

They put bombs in Harry’s office really? 

Oh no Harry’s office is destroyed :( 

Why didn’t the Red Court just kill Harry? Click boom no more wizard. Why kidnap his daughter? They clearly must need them both to be alive for whatever they’re doing. 

Why would you go to Edinburgh? I doubt the White Council will help. 

Merlin created the White Council and created the Laws? Huh 

“It must have come out more threatening then I thought it had, because half a dozen White Council hard cases stopped walking. They traded looks with one another.” pg. 86 Scary Harry

“I was here when Morgan drank himself into a stupor after your trail, Harry.” pg. 93 Interesting 

“The human population has expanded with unthinkable speed in the last two centuries. More and more wizard-level talents are being born. Every time one of them goes warlock, we have less and less time to confront the problem-and nowhere near enough to help.” 

 “Prevention.” I said. “Find them early and they don’t go warlock.” 

“Resources.” She sighed. We’d had this talk before. “If the entire Council did nothing but Warden duty, full-time, it still wouldn’t be enough.”

“Education,” I said “Use Paranet. Get the smaller talents to help identify the gifted.” pg. 95 I’m glad Harry is bringing up points that I had. They’re good points. 

The Merlin’s actual name is Arthur? Really? As in King Arthur and Merlin from Camelot? Ironic?

“He is an irritating, arrogant, and formidable man.” pg. 100 Ha 

“Langtry looked at me patiently. Then he looked at Luccio” pg. 100 Does the Merlin not know about Jamestown? What rock has he been living under? 

“We’re going to exterminate them.” pg. 102 Well Harry’s going to, not you

“I am not asking you. I am ordering you to desist, warden Dresden.” pg. 103 That’s not going to go over well. Harry doesn’t really take orders. He (Merlin) should really take a lesson or two from Ventinari use reverse psychology 

“No one life, innocent or not, is worth more than that.” 

“You’ve got it backwards, you know” I told him quietly. “No life is worth more than that? No, Merlin. No life is worth less.” pg. 103 I agree with Harry. Merlin’s in the wrong. You let this child die and it’s a slippery slope. If you let this child die then what’s to say you would let other children die. 

How many people knew about Maggie? Where was she kidnapped? How did she get kidnapped? When was she kidnapped? Did the mortal police get involved? I have questions.

“Susan looked from Molly to me and seemed to come to some kind of conclusion.” pg. 108 What conclusion?

“A little less than twenty-four hours before I called you.” pg. 110 The first forty-eight are the most important in kidnapping cases. 

“Your aura is all screwed up. It’s like looking at an exploding paint factory. Crazy people get that way.” pg. 117 Harry isn’t doing well.

“Human sacrifice” pg. 118 Oh no 

Hmm I’m not convinced with Harry’s guess work. If the Red Court wanted to destroy the Council with human sacrifice they could have used anyone right? Why Harry’s kid unless they were targeting Harry. Why would they target Harry? I know he started the war but he hasn’t really been fighting a lot of Red Court vampires lately. The last one was the Duke but that was a duel they both agreed to and Harry didn’t even kill him that was Ebenezar. It’s not like a spell could target the same people in an organization there’d have to be some connection between them. But that brings into question why not blow him up with his rigged office? All we (Harry and I) know is that the Red Court is using dark magic fueled by the human sacrifice of his daughter. Hmmm

We’re missing clues 

I need a bulletin board and red string

“I am going to throw Rudolph halfway across Lake Michigan and see if the slimy little turd floats.” pg. 122 Throw him do it!

I’m glad Murphy sees that there’s more to this. 

“I will make Maggie safe. If the world burns because of that, then so be it. Me and the kid will some marshmallows.” pg. 123 Papa wolf Harry

“I rubbed my thumb against the spot between my eyebrows where a headache was forming.” pg. 125 Hi Bonnie 

“I emerged into the NeverNever, my shields at full strength, my blasting rod ready to unleash hell, as the invisible sphere of force around me slammed into-a rather lovely bed of daisies.” pg. 136 Ha 

“and at least two cases of arson” pg. 155 Only two? I thought it’d be more. 

“It wasn’t my fault.” I said “The building thing”  pg. 155 Ha and yes it was if a buildings on fire and you’re anywhere near the building it’s usually your fault Harry. 

“Mouse let out a sudden, deep growl.” pg. 170 Oh no trouble 

Lea! It’s been so long since I’ve last seen you 

“(Completely ignoring the fact that it was neither meant to spin nor mounted on any kind mechanism that would make such a thing possible)” pg. 172 Ha

“Martin plummeted from the ceiling and landed on the threadbare throw rug covering the concrete floor. Nobody was there to catch him, which was awful. Just awful.” pg. 176 Ha

So Lea has been protecting Harry. That’s nice of her I think

“I trailed off as I looked up at Martin and Susan staring at me, their jaws kind of hanging limply.” pg. 189 Ha 

“Maybe you settled it, but she didn’t. She’s in love” pg. 193 I thought we were past this. 

Oh no, the poor Mendozas family :( 

How did the Red Court find out about Maggie and the Mendozas family? Did someone betray the group? I don’t see how they could find out about her on their own. 

“Martin drew a short pistol” pg. 201 Martin No Bad Don’t you dare shoot that gun

Nice try Carlos you’ve done got yourself jailed 

Ivy! I hope she’s doing well 

Marcone!!! Yes let’s go! Marcone come help Harry there’s a child in danger

“Ebenezar sighed, and his tired face looked more tired. “What you’re doing is good and right. But it ain’t smart. And it’s a lesson you haven’t learned yet.

“What lesson?”

“Sometimes Hoss,” he said very gently, “you lose. Sometimes the darkness takes everyone. Sometimes the monster escapes to kill again another day.” He shook his head and looked down. “Sometimes, Hoss, the innocent little ones are murdered. And there’s not one goddamned thing you can do about it.” 

“Leave her to die” I snarled. “That’s what you want me to do?”

“I want you to help save millions or billions of little girls, boy,” he said, his own voice dropping into a hard growl. “Not throw them away for the sake of one.” pg. 232 No that’s just as bad as Merlin. There’s a child in danger now. So Harry is going to save her. 

“I ignored Marcone upon coming in and got in line.” pg. 241 Ha

“Dresden,” Marcone said “this is aggravating. Even for you”

“Yeah” pg. 242 Ha

“Marcone’s eyes narrowed. “Who is she to you, Dresden?”

“My client’s child,” pg. 244 Dose Marcone know the actual answer? Why doesn’t Harry tell Marcone? It’s not like Marcone will use the information against Harry. 

“Marcone stared at me with half-lidded eyes and said, “Eek” pg. 245 Ha 

“And…I believe I have no objections to contributing against any organization which would victimize children so.” pg. 246 Yep as you should 

“I’m trying to be diplomatic. The wisdom of my ass is well-known. If I didn’t lip off to them, after shooting my mouth off to faerie queens and Vampires Courts-plural, Courts-demigods and demon lords, they might get their feelings hurt.” pg. 254 Ha 

Bloodline curse is scary 

Are the Red Court trying to annihilate the White Court? Do they know about Thomas? Does Harry have more secret family members?!? 

“You defy beings that should cow you into silence. You resist forces that are inevitable for no more reason than that you believe they should be resisted. You bow your head to neither demons nor angels, and you put yourself in harms way to defend those who cannot defend themselves.” He nodded slowly. “I think I like you.” pg. 261 So cool

Odin likes and respects Harry.

“Next to the cup of tea was a plate was a little plate with two cake doughnuts on it, both of them covered in thick white frosting and unmarred by sprinkles or any other edible decorations.” pg. 265 The legend of Harry grows. I think this is a call back to the doughnuts with Eldest Gruff. 

“Martin was alphabetizing my bookshelves. They used to kill men for sacrilege like that.” pg. 267 Ha

“But for that to be true,” I said, “I would have to not be the center of the universe.” pg. 270 Ha 

Whoa that kiss. How about everyone calm down and take a breath. 

“Study with a wizard has made you manipulate.”

She sniffed a couple of times, and I opened my eyes to see her crying silently.

“N-no” she said “That was my mom.” pg. 273 Poor Molly 

Harry should listen to Mouse 

“She stared at me for a second and then rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Harry. Really? Are you really that clueless?” pg. 286 Yes he is and apparently so am I because I have no idea what Susan’s talking about.

Thomas I hope he’s doing ok. He’s taking the “you’re an uncle” news well I think.

The Eebs are scary and maybe insane 

“She slid her body on top of mine, straddling my hips with hers.” pg. 313 Bad this is bad I don’t like this at all

“I’ve been abused by Red Court vampires in the past. I still have nightmares sometimes.” pg. 315 Oh no poor Harry more bad implications 

So cool that Harry used his necklace.

“The cars remains.” pg. 321 Oh no the Blue Beetle :( the poor car 

Molly please listen to Thomas and don’t touch him.

Oh no 

Good boy Mouse stopping Thomas

Oh no Harry’s apartment. First his office then the Blue Beetle and now his apartment :(

“The small of my back hit the brick planter, and I achieved a new personal best for pain.” pg. 343 Oh no that’s got to hurt. Are we sure he hasn’t broken his back?

Sanya! Help has arrived 

“I can’t feel my legs.” pg. 346 OH NO OH NO OH NO AAAHHHH!!!! This isn’t good :( He’s paralyzed from the waist down. How is he going to fix this? 

How am I only half way through the book so much has happened ahhh

Harry go to the hospital! 

Maybe Uriel can help?

“You tried to send me a bill.” pg. 358 What

“Whatever you do, do it for love. If you keep to that your path will never wander so far from the light that you can never return.” pg. 360 Good advice but Harry could use some physical help.

“Mab!” I called, my voice steady “Mab, Queen of Air and Darkness, Queen of the Winter Count! Mab, I bid you come forth!” pg. 360 This is how Harry becomes the Winter Knight? 

Oh no the stone table. Lea warned Harry about it.

“I know I can’t bluff you. I won’t suicide. I’m here to deal in good faith.” pg. 371 Well about that 

Poor Slate 

I stand by the fact that Harry mercy kills Slate.

“I remembered when Bicanca and her minions had kept me prisoner. I remembered the things they had done to me.” pg. 378 More bad implications. Therapy please 

“You may indulge yourself.” pg. 381 Yep that’s a scary thought of Lea indulging in herself.

“What we did wasn’t sex, regardless of what it appeared to be.” pg. 384 NOPE Mab is thousands of years older than Harry and she’ll be his boss and she has all the power right now. The power dynamic is bad. The age gap is bad. God/Divine being and mortal is bad. It’s all bad. This is dubious consent or questionable consent at best. I don’t like any of this. Why would Jim do this to Harry? This feels like sexual exploitation to me.

I wonder why Lea didn’t want Harry to be the Winter Knight? With the whole don’t let Mab bring you here to the stone table. 

Butters! Good that he was prepared 

“Stevie D looked like a man who suddenly realizes he is sitting near a hornet’s nest and is trying desperately not to run away screaming.” pg. 401 Ha

“Half of what I hear about you says Marcone wants you dead, that you hate his guts. The other half says you work for him sometimes. Kill people he thinks need killing.” pg. 401 Both can technically true. Depending on how you look at it. With Harry killing the man who killed one of Marcone’s men in Deadbeat. Harry kept proclaiming that he’s going to kill Marcone one of these days. 

Why would Susan hire a gunman to kill Harry? 

Toot-toot! 

“You are a drug dealer. To tiny faeries. Shame.” pg. 412 Ha

“Because every creature in Faerie got to see the ceremony.” pg. 413 That’s horrifying 

“You”-he scrunched up his nose, digging in his memory-“tapped that ass. Presumably, it was a phat.” pg. 414 Is this supposed to be funny? Because I don’t find it funny. Am I the weird one for thinking this shouldn’t be a joke. I don’t find it funny as to how I read the Mab and Harry interaction. Please tell me if I am reading too much into this. I feel like I’m losing my mind. 

“Dammit, Dresden. Can’t you ever do anything quietly and in an orderly fashion?” pg. 426 Ha and no Harry can’t do anything quietly and orderly ever. I don’t think he’s ever been either of those things in his life. 

Rudolph is the worst 

“And the lights went out.” pg. 436 Oh no

Oh no the Erkling he said he would kill Harry 

Oh good job Harry on the guest comment 

Cool fight a little worried about the Winter Mantel showing 

Lea! 

“Wow,” Susan said. “You…you really do have a fairy godmother.” pg. 498 Ha

“Cortes wore armor in just this style,” pg. 499 Ha and no one expects the Spanish Inquisition 

“Then you know that Sam was the true hero of the tale,” Sanya said. “That he faced far greater and more terrible foes than he ever should have had to face, and did so with courage. That he went alone into a black and terrible land, stormed a dark fortress, and resisted the most terrible temptation of his world for the sake of the friend he loved. That in the end, it was his actions and his actions alone that made it possible for light to overcome darkness.” pg. 521 Sanya is correct that Harry is like Sam. 

As someone whose only interaction with the Lord of the Rings is the same way I know Discworld is through Tumblr and fanfic I think the comparisons are accurate. 

Thomas/Legolas: Both are the prettiest members

Mouse/Gimli: Shortest and hairiest 

Sanya/Aragron: Both have a magic sword and come from a line of kings

Lea/Gandalf: Powerfully magical and older the the rest of the party

Murph/Merry: Short 

Molly/Pippin: Youngest member 

Martin/Boromir: Sense of duty (Didn’t Boromir betray the group? And then die?) 

Susan/Frollo: Both carry a terrible burden/temptation with the ring or the vampirism 

Harry/Sam: Extremely loyal and lots of courage 

Tenth member/Gollum?/Bonnie?: Secret 10th member maybe 

Oh no Ebenezar is calling 

Well that was a turn around from Ebenezar

“She had turned us-all of us, except for Mouse-into great, gaunt, long-legged hounds.” pg. 541 Oh no

“And Mouse said, in what sounded to me like perfectly understandable English, “That bitch.” pg. 541 Ha

“Restore them before I rip your ass off. Literally rip it off.” pg. 543 Ha 

“I live with a wizard. I cheat.” pg. 543 Ha

“Then she said, “How did Dresden ever win you?” 

“He didn’t” Mouse said. “I won him.” pg. 544 My heart Mouse is the best dog. I love him so much yes Mouse won Harry. Mouse is just as sarcastic as Harry.

“He was kinda little.” pg. 571 Ha

“Radical” I said. “Wicked cool.” 

Alamaya eyed me for a moment. Then she said something to the Red King, apparently conveying the fact that I had obnoxiously used phrasing that was difficult to translate.” pg. 573 Ha 

Why would the Red King need a translator? Everyone else in the Red Court seems to know and speak English.

“A big goofy magic nerd!” Bob said.” pg. 581 Ha and that’s an accurate description of Harry

“I nodded “So…what if we used a different bolt?” 

“The same thing would happen” Bob said “The only difference would be who would be on the receiving end.” pg. 582 Is this how Harry ends the Red court? With the bloodline curse? But then who would he kill? Would it need to be a fully turned vampire? Or could it be a half turned vampire like Martin or Susan? 

Poor Maggie :(

“Maybe you know these monsters, Martin,” Murph said quietly. “But I know the guy who stops them. And if they don’t return the girl, we’ll make them regret it.” pg. 584 Yep

“I have a problem with buildings.” pg. 587 Ha

Harry got hit by lightning cool. I wonder if he’ll get a cool lightning scar. Lichtensteinburg figures I believe it’s called. 

“No. She couldn’t be trying the same thing twice.” pg. 596 What that’s stupid. That mistake is going to cost her.

“Cattle. You are c-cattle” 

“Moo” I said” pg. 599 Ha and so cool

“And then he smiled and said in perfect English, “I think not.” pg. 599 Oh no he knows English 

I was right to question the translator

“Bite. Me. Asshole.” pg. 603 Ha 

“False gods!” she cried her blue eyes blazing as she stared the Red King and the Lords of the Outer Night. “Pretenders! Usurpers of truth! Destroyers of faith, of families, of lives, children! For your crimes against the Mayans, against the peoples of this world now you will answer! Your time has come! Face judgment almighty!” pg. 604 So cool!

The Gray Council! The Cavalry has arrived!

“Remember Archangel” pg. 610 Yes Ebenezar this is for Simon

I will never not like that Harry’s staff is modeled after Ebenezar’s 

Sad that it got destroyed:(

The Blackstaff :0 so cool and so scary

“Fuego!” shouted someone on the walls-and for a second I was hit with a little sting of insult. Someone was shouting “Fuego” and it wasn’t me.” pg. 612 Ha

Blackstaff is terrifying

“Tiny” Sanya said, letting out a belly laugh as he began to move. “But fierce!” pg. 621 Ha

“You’re all insane!” pg. 622 Ha

Martin’s a traitor?!? I don’t believe it. Something is up, why would Martin do all this if he’s a traitor?

Harry is using the mind reader spell that he and Elaine used!

HOLY COW! Ebenezar is Harry’s grandfather?!? WHAT? WHAT! That explains so much. That’s the missing clue. Arianna wants to kill Ebenezar for him killing her husband. How did she know Harry and Ebenezar were related?

“One day I hope God will forgive for giving birth to the idea that came next.

Because I never will” pg. 641 Oh no what happens next? 

Martian told them about Maggie?!? Oh no 

Triple agent Martin?!? 

“Martin died 

Susan turned” pg. 644 Oh no 

“And I…

I used the knife 

I saved a child 

I won a war

God forgive me.” pg. 649 SOBBING I’m sobbing I need to go lay down and cry.  

Harry just commented genocide 

Oh no the power vacuum 

Oh no the psych attack/bad dreams 

“I don’t remember what happened when the ritual went off. There’s a blank spot in my head about two minutes wide. I had no desire whatsoever to find out what was there.” pg. 652 Interesting could be disassociated or it could be Bonnie perhaps? 

“He nodded. “Reckon so. Hell of a hard thing to do.”

“It wasn’t hard,” I said quietly. “Just cold”

“Oh Hoss,” he said. There was more compassion in the words than you’d think would fit there.” pg. 656 Sobbing 

“After all, your quest must be completed, my child, my godmother said. “Maggie must be made safe. And while I found the swim bracing, I thought it might not be safe for her. I’m given to understand that the little ones are  quite fragile.” pg. 664 Aw Lea is being nice 

“A direct promise from one of the Sidhe is a rare thing. A kindness is even rarer.

But maybe I shouldn’t be surprised; Even in Winter, the cold isn’t always bitter, and not every day is cruel.” pg. 664 Aw :)

“I bent over it and kissed the back of her fingers, one for each.” pg. 675 Aw 

Harry/Murphy moment!

“My foot slipped a little, nearly lost my balance, just as something smacked into the wall of the cabin behind me, a sharp popping sound, like a rock thrown against a wooden fence. I turned, and it felt slow for some reason. I looked at the Water Beetle’s cabin wall, bulkhead, whatever, behind me and thought, Who splattered red paint on my boat?” pg. 676 Oh no

“And then my left leg started to fold all on its own.” pg. 676 Oh no

“Then I fell off the back of the boat, and into the icy water of Lake Michigan.” pg. 676 Oh no

“It got dark

It got quiet 

And I realized that I was all by myself. “Die alone” whispered a bitter, hateful old man’s voice.” pg. 676 Oh no

“Hush, now,” whispered a women’s voice. It sounded familiar.��� pg. 676 Mab? Margret? 

“Typical, I thought. “Even you’re dead, it doesn’t get any easier.” pg. 677 No it doesn’t especially for Harry

“The light rushed closer, and I distinctly heard the horn and the engine of an oncoming train.” pg. 677 WHAT?!? That’s how it ends?! Harry’s died! He was shot! Why am I surprised? I knew this. 

Final thoughts 

Oh boy, this book. This book! It really lives up to its name. Harry loses everything (house, office, car) Poor Maggie :( Harry is really scary in this book. He’s gaining a reputation with how the vampire ran away from him. I was shocked, shocked I say when Mac started speaking full sentences. It was really good advice. No Bi Harry moments in this book but Harry did have a lot going on. I like that Harry brings up points I made in that the White Council is slow on the uptake and needs to change how they do things. I disagree with Merlin and Ebenezar about what seems like them using a million is a statistic and the trolly problem which is in my opinion stupid. There’s a child in danger and she matters even if she wasn’t Harry’s daughter she’s in trouble and she matters and is worth saving. Is the conclusion that Susan came to that Molly still loves Harry? Despite all my “oh nos” I found this book. It helped with the tension. I always love when Marcone is in a book. I love their banter. I can’t believe he agreed to meet up at a Burger King. I love that it shows Marcone’s decent side with kids. I love that Odin seems to like and respect Harry. The Eebs are terrifying and I didn’t like the part with Esmerelda. I need all vampiress (is that what you call female vampires?) to not come within 20 feet of Harry. He hasn’t had a great time with any of them. First Bianca, then Mavra, then Lara, and now Esmerelda. I didn’t like the Winter Mantel or how Harry got it. I liked the fights in this book. I loved the bit where everyone got turned into dogs. Murphy’s speech was good. I know it was coming but Harry just commented genocide. I know that the Red Court must have been shown to be chaotic evil but what about the fellowship? Are they all going to die as well? Then Harry just died what? I’m still not over it. 

Mab Harry and the Winter Mantel 

Oh boy this thing. I don’t like any of it. I stand by my statement that Harry mercy killed Slate till the end of time. Slate was tortured for years. Harry put him out of his misery. I hate what happened with Mab and Harry. I consider it rape. Mab had all the power. She had something Harry needs. Harry wouldn’t have had sex with Mab otherwise. He can’t really say no in this situation. This I feel like could be considered sexual exploitation and that’s rape. I’m horrified by the fact that every fae saw it. Mab is now Harry’s boss. That’s terrifying. What’s to stopping her from demanding sex from him in the future? And the “joke?” that Sayna made. I think it’s supposed to be a joke but given how I read Mab and Harry I didn’t find it funny. Did y’all find it funny? Can Jim please either address all these implications? At this point it feels gratuitous with all the trauma Harry gets heaped onto sexual or otherwise. I 

Maggie and Ebenezer 

Poor Maggie. She’s now an orphan. Where is she going to stay now that Harry is dead? Carpenters? Ebenezar? On the topic of Ebenezar what do you think you’re doing? You could have told Harry at any point why wait till now? Don’t you remember the last time you kept a major secret about yourself? Harry didn’t talk to you for years. So if I’ve got the family tree down it’s Ebenezar the grandfather->Margaret ->Thomas and Harry-> Maggie. Oh no he doesn’t know about Thomas. Oh no there’s no way that information is going to come out in a nice or calm way oh no. 

I’m going to read some short stories before moving on to the next book. Not sure how I’m going to format it.

#the dresden files #Changes #battle ground spoilers #tw sa

[ja3yun]

How dare you rip my heart out on jay's birthday and expect me to be okay 😒 You have a talent for this shit babe, to make people feel your words and that's a rarity these days. When you eventually get famous and publish something i am the first on the book signing doors

this is the sweetest thing :( tysm!! my writing is nowhere near publishing level i promise you that but if by chance that dream happens, you will be first to get a copy 😤

#aj answers #a girl can dream of being published

[viraliz]

Hey! Can i maybe give you an idea for a new drawing? ☺️☺️ i also promoted this idea for a fanfic that’s how desperate i am 😂 so - soon we have the clasico. Imagine - Gavi is making fun of Vini’s new hair when he sees him before the match/on the field, while later at night he grabs tightly on it as Vini is fucking him 😭😭 can’t get this image out of my head, i wish i could draw it myself but i’m nowhere near your levels of talent so… 🫣

Hajaj Hey Anon! Thank you for the compliment. At the moment me and Vini are having a break, because lately he did something I entirely disapprove. That doesn't mean I stopped liking him or drawing him. So your idea will be on my desk for sure! I just need a little time. Maybe watching them play will make me feel like drawing football again but thanks for the trust!!

#vinijr #real madrid #gavi

[bedbugbiting]

You are seriously such an impressive person. Very cultured and talented with your art and music and marathons! Every time I read one of your posts I get inspired to do something. Hmm maybe I should learn to play an instrument or hmm maybe I should volunteer somewhere. Keep it up!

Awww, thank you! It's been really helpful to meet some supportive people with good connections who know about opportunities I'd never hear about on my own. And volunteering with kids has really helped me a lot, especially since I try to work with the same kids all the time.

I wish I'd never quit playing music, but life got in the way. I'm nowhere near the level I used to be, but I try not to think about that! Thank you so much for this, it means a lot!

This will sound weird, but I probably started doing a lot of things because of my chronic pain disorder. At some point I realized that I am going to be in pain no matter what I do, so I might as well seize the day, I guess? I have missed a lot of fun things in life, so I'm making up for lost time. And I understand that not everyone will have this ability or this experience, and I am absolutely stretched a bit thin, this is just how it's worked for me.

[heniareth]

10 things about me

Tagged by @wild-houseplant @scribbledquillz and @shivunin an age and a half ago. Thank you for your patience!! I would be lying if I said I hadn't been making eyes at this for a long long time but alas, life. That said, here are ten facts about me!

One of my earliest memories is getting lost in a huge supermarket because I saw a shelf full of pink, thought they were toys, and ran off. The pink stuff turned out to be cleaning products :'(

I mirror people. Like, a lot. This leads to a thing where, when I'm around German people and try to speak English, I get a German accent. In English. My usual accent just sorta flies out of the window, and while I'm not a native English speaker, it is a bit shocking nonetheless.

As a teen, I had a phase where I would listen (not watch, I had limited TV time) to the LOTR movies while doing... basically anything. So much so that, if I ever participated in a talent show, I would put on the movie without sound and start replicating the dialogue.

I have been part of a choir and sung for most my life. I can, on a good day, sing the really high notes of the aria of the Queen of the Night from Mozart's Zauberflöte. It's wobbly and obviously nowhere near opera level, but I can reach those notes.

I have done horse riding and karate. At some point in my life, I also want to do archery and swordplay.

Humid weather is SO much better for my skin and everything, but I hate the way it feels. Everything is sticky and bad >.<

I have written two bachelor thesis in two consecutive years. This is because I studied a double degree (so two degrees that had a lot of shared classes, so with one year extra you could do both) and each degree asked for a bachelor's thesis to graduate. I like my first bachelor's thesis much better than the second

I once went to another country by plane, traveled for three-something hours to a town in the middle of nowhere, went all the way back and took a plane back home the same day because I had to do paperwork. I don't recommend doing that.

I have slept under an open sky two times in my life. It drizzled an absolutely chilling, wet, miserable rain the first time, and the second time I saw the most glorious sunset I've ever seen. Would recommend.

My favorite calming sound ever is the wind making the leaves on trees shiver. Second favorite is thunderstorms, third favorite is waves crashing against cliffs.

If this seems a fun thing to do @siriskulksnerding @bumblerhizal @badartxd @icylook @yukichouji and also YOU who are reading this, I am tagging you! If not fun, I am wishing you a lovely day ^^ (I am wishing you a lovely day if it does seem fun too)

[rollercoasterwords]

hi! i was just curious about sirius' magic level in atwmd. we know he is skilled at cracking ppls mind open but i don't remember if we got a description of his magical power level thing? is he average with an advanced skill of legilimency, is he above average, does his magic have its own pull like james' etc

also remus' magic skills too? he can do wandless magic but how far does it go?

hmmm i don't really have like. a scale outlined in my head lol i am mostly just going off vibes but like.

ok so top tier overpowered like these guys are crazy level is. voldemort (who was in the same category as grindelwald + dumbledore)

the only other person described having magic with a similar sort of 'gravitational pull' is james so. he is nebulously up there towards the top of the scale but we don't know yet if he's as strong as voldemort or not.

both r + s are more like. regular levels but just. above-average? like if james is the equivalent of prodigy/genius then r + s are like top-of-the-class students; they're powerful + talented but not necessarily to the extent that someone would be like 'jfc is this guy even human.' + they just have both learned to use magic in different ways and so are good at different things. we'll get into the wandless magic thing more in pt ii, but while it's impressive to sirius it's not necessarily a sign of someone being like...more naturally magically powerful. + while sirius is v skilled w ~dark magic~ bc he's spent so much time practicing it, he's not like. super talented at every single type of magic. they are both formiddable wizards but for both of them it comes from being in situations where they've had to learn to use magic well bc they are essentially both soldiers; so they're like two guys who have both been trained to fight but neither of them like. has super-strength. hopefully these analogies are making sense lol

also -- for clarification sirius was not actually the one doing most of the legwork in the legilimency scene w fabian! voldemort was basically rooting around in there + by the time he finished the guy's mind was already sort of cracked open, so sirius was just kinda. poking around. he is a good legilimens but nowhere near voldemort's level.

#ask #wfrau

[talkingbl]

My Top Acting Pairs of the 2022 So Far

Basing this purely on chemistry in their shows. This is an ordered list.

5. MileApo. These two look great next to each other. I can't think of a pairing that feels more natural in NC scenes than these two. My only qualm here is that I sometimes feel like their romantic chemistry isn't completely natural (though I feel this is mostly a failure of the script).

4. OffGun. These two just get better and better. While I feel their romantic chemistry was better as KhaiThird, their sexual chemistry was much stronger in Not Me. These two always give me this excited feeling. They're so good at playing oblivious or even star-crossed lovers.

3. OhmNanon. The best friend chemistry is strong with these two. As I've noted before, they feel really natural opposite each other. I think a big part of their chemistry, though, is that Nanon is just so fucking good as an actor and Ohm is so good at romance. It's no wonder these two feel so good together.

2. FirstKhaotung. It's been two episodes of The Eclipse and holy shit. Anyone who is familiar with me knows I love First and found Khaotung compelling in both TonhonChonlatee and A Tale of a Thousand Stars. These two have a really unexpected chemistry that, up to this point is difficult to define. If I had to try to put it into words, I'd say that First is a hell of an actor and he puts his soul into his characters. You can feel the fear, the excitement and denial radiating off of Akk whenever he's near Ayan. It's just so perfect. And who knew Khaotung could play a mischevious flirt so well? It's not Off Jumpol levels of fuckboy behaviour but it's good enough for the story thus far. I can not overstate how in utter shock I am that this story is pulling the chemistry out of these two so quickly and so well. I just can't wait to do a write up on the show almost entirely because of FirstKhao's chemistry.

Honorable Mention -

NeoLouis. Honey, Neo stays acting his ass off. He is just so incredibly talented and it shines through his chemistry with Louis. I'd even go as far as to say that most of the chemistry that exists between them is because of Neo. It's both my main issue and my main praise. I don't buy Louis as much, but I have hope that'll change as The Eclipse goes on.

1. ParkPark/Suamchan. Girl, these two came out of nowhere and went for the jugular. I've discussed it before but I still can't believe how much these two worked for me. Seoham was so good at being stupid in love and Jaechan just DID the damn thing with Sangwoo. The innocence Jaechan was able to portray was so incredibly well-done that I am still in disbelief that a rookie IDOL actor did this!

#mileapo kinnporsche #thai bl korean bl boys love #offgun seanwhite khaithird theory of love not me #ohmnanon bad buddy neolouis the eclipse #firstkhaotung akkayan parkpark seoham x jaechan semantic error