#i am not owed anything

[thornfield13713]

Is there any betrayal in the world that cuts more deeply than a fic for your OTP suddenly expanding itself into a threesome fic that includes your NOTP?

I am not opposed to threesomes, to be clear, but I do like to know about them ahead of time, especially if That One Character the very sight of whose name makes me arch my back, hiss and spit like a displeased alleycat is involved.

#this is not a callout post #i am not owed anything #i am merely irritated and venting

[ibtisams]

Today, my 15 day hunger strike is officially over. The solidarity and strength I feel is incredibly powerful and overwhelming. I can’t even properly put into words how fulfilling these past 2 weeks have been. I appreciate everyone who donated to Anera in honour of my hunger strike, and my friends who participated in solidarity.

My time off tumblr was freeing, though learning of all the hate campaigns for me and my friends and now receiving conspiracy theories about the people in my life has left a bad taste in my mouth. I’m grateful to have this platform so I can do everything in my power to help Palestine, but it’s hard for me to not become angry every time I log in to this site and there is less focus on Palestine and more focus on hate. It has become obvious there are some people who follow me because they want to learn about and help Palestine, but even more people who are only here to speculate on my personal life and view me as a fictional character.

I love and appreciate the Palestinian community I have found on tumblr, but it feels like now the site has turned into all of us having to always do everything we possibly can to get people to focus on Palestine while everyone else can use our efforts for performative reasons. It is not something I want to be a part of, and it does not make me feel good. The past 15 days have given me the clarity to see all of this for what it is, and so for the time being, I am going to continue to focus on the activism I can do in person, and more selectively use this blog to bring attention to gofundmes and resources. I hope this comes across as genuine as I feel right now, and helps some of you see how exploitative this website has become for Palestinians.

#grr I’m overtired and on day 15 with no food so this is probably coming off angry #and I AM angry because it seems like people don’t realise the way this website has been treating Palestinians who aren’t in Gaza right now #and then forcing them to vet and verify and do all the work for those who ARE in Gaza #but then after we do all that work people will still sit there and not do anything except reblog a post #does that make sense #like in the same breath I have people asking me to show my passport and then also speak to someone in Arabic to make sure they’re legitimat #I don’t owe you anything! But I do owe Gazans something (doing everything I can to help them) #🦢

[lady-harrowhark]

I promise I’m going somewhere with this but I am currently fixating on how seeing Naberius’s trident knife in the beginning of HtN gives Harrow the Gideon Memory Migraine™, despite no clear connection to Gideon:

Ianthe considered this. She nudged the confection basket hilt of the rapier at her hip aside, and took out a long knife that, again, ran a hot rill of pain down your temporal bone. It was—though you had never bothered to learn—Tern’s main-gauche, his trident knife, a long blade from which two other blades would spring at the press of some hidden mechanism; she flicked that mechanism now, and with a snickt they burst out like a firework, two hard points of gleaming steel. She flicked it again, and the blades went snickt back into their housing.

Is it simply that it’s something from the Canaan House era in general? Or is there more going on? Stick with me here.

One of my pet theories I’ve been harboring since Kiriona’s wounds were revealed is that Harrow herself wounded Gideon after she threw herself on the fence, paralleling Jesus’s side wound from being speared after his crucifixion. They needed to ensure Jesus was truly dead, and presumably Harrow also needed to be well and truly sure that Gideon was dead before proceeding. Ianthe says she put a sword through Naberius’s heart to pin his soul in place for her ascension, and we see his body run through with the sword. Harrow needing to do the same to Gideon would certainly be some very juicy angst fuel.

The other crucial component here is one of my other favorite pet theories: that Harrow knew Gideon’s sword was haunted, likely before even coming to Canaan House. I’ve seen a few people do some more detailed explanations about that, but I’ll do a brief rundown here. 

Harrow says as far back as GtN about the sword “I never liked that cursed thing anyway; I always felt like it was judging me.” After the events of HtN with the River and Canaan House 2.0, we know she has an innate and potentially subconscious talent with spirit magic; it seems likely she was able to sense what was in the sword whether she knew exactly what was going on or not.

In HtN, Guideline #3 in her her pre-lobotomy letters to her post-lobotomy self has several stipulations (wipe it down with arterial blood nightly, coat it in regenerating ash, don’t cut flesh or bone with it) that sound a lot like precautions one would take to keep a soul from hopping out of it.

When discussing the sword with Abigail in Canaan House 2.0, we get some very specific qualifiers around how much information Harrow is able to provide about the sword. Directly before remembering that the sword was Gideon’s we have: “Harrow’s brain, though still a jumble, was no longer a mess in a darkened room. Memory had gifted her a small torch she could light the disarray with.”

After that, she struggles to recall further details, her own brain providing obstacles: “The light was not proving helpful enough: she was, in desperation, kicking over piles of the rubble in her own brain.” In the end, she’s able to tell Abigail: “I hated that damned sword for years. I don’t know why; it just felt strange - rancorous. I cannot deny that I often assumed its edge would be the last thing I saw. I don’t know.”

Circling back to the final battle of GtN, we get my favorite little nugget of support for this: Harrow is described as looking “affrighted” when Gideon tells her to go get her two-hander. I’d initially taken that to mean she was startled (and maybe a bit annoyed) to find out that Gideon had brought it at all, or freaked out at the situation in general. But I’ve begun to wonder if she specifically didn’t want Gideon to bring that sword with her to Canaan House because she knew, or at least suspected, what it contained.

Which brings us to the trident knife. If Harrow needed to fix Gideon’s soul in place by impaling her herself, and she knew there was a malevolent soul in the two-hander that could conceivably hitch a ride in another body that it came into contact with, she would have needed a different tool for the job… Which may very well have been the trident knife. Seeing the weapon she used to mutilate her cavalier’s body with seems like exactly the sort of thing that would bring on one of Harrow’s Gideon-induced headaches, no? It’s also notable that when Harrow sees this knife, it’s directly before Ianthe stabs her through the hand, again analogous to crucifixion wounds. I gotta say, if this holds water, there’s a certain poetry to both Harrow and Gideon receiving versions of the Holy Wounds on the blade of the same knife.

(Edit to add: further theorizing prompted by @camilla-rekt‘s fab addition can be found on this reblog)

#this is really just a jenga tower of theories but i'm still sitting here rubbing my hands together like a cartoon villain #i am just ripping biting tearing to know what happened between those two chapters #(and incidentally there may have been actual ripping biting tearing involved but i digress) #i wonder if this could have anything to do with the favor harrow owes ianthe… hmm #Nona the Ninth spoilers #harrowhark nonagesimus #Gideon nav #kiriona gaia #ianthe tridentarius #Nona the Ninth #ntn #the locked tomb #tlt #tlt meta #tlt theories

[ejga-ostja]

Just Dance night at the Van Eck mansion

#six of crows #six of crows fanart #grishaverse #grishaverse fanart #kaz brekker #matthias helvar #nina zenik #jesper fahey #leigh bardugo #based on that one tiktok #smth silly bc i am in owed art hell x_x #i only went to draw this bc i wanted to draw kaz in a dancing queen shirt tbh #also #i kinda sorta don't wanna draw jesper in anything other than a crop top now #HE LOOKS SO GOOD #nor do i wanna draw matthias in anything other than an elsa frozen tshirt bc #it just makes sense ok #pls appreciate nina's shorts btw i went ham on them #and jesper's sweatpants are what i saw a lady on the bus wearing once #i had a lot of fun w this can you tell

[komaneko-kun]

even after all this time...he's so careful and gentle with him i- please that's love right there you can't convince me otherwise

#HIS VOICE THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM CRYING THROWING UP #who's canon? i don't know her i'm too busy suffering over the lost potential #HIS PUPPY EYES GOD. GODD. #fenglian #feng xin #xie lian #tgcf donghua #tgcf #tgcf donghua s2 #how am i supposed to recover from this....... #LISTEN im convinced at least 1 person in the animation team ships them bc its the only explanation i have for fenglian moments- #lasting a bit longer than necessary since season 1 okay #whoever you are...i owe you a drink #or some soup ir stew i'll cook you anything

[extraordinarilyextreme]

天台上谈心...... (a heart-to-heart on the rooftop)

please i need more people to watch 《异人之下》 I Am Nobody 😭😭😭

i believed i was invincible until i met you. in an instant, everything i had ever known came crumbling down. you changed my world utterly; you altered my fate. “我也很喜欢你这个人”； “我喜欢他不假。”

vs

i left the secular world behind because i couldn't find meaning in the struggles of the day-to-day. i didn't understand the point of forming attachments, yet you took the initiative to approach me anyway. because of you, i had the courage to descend from my lofty perch, and find my own place among mortals.

rivals to best friends; two of the most promising sorcerers of their generation; a popular idol descended from Zhuge Liang himself and the wealthy third son of one of the most powerful families in the country who left home to become a Taoist.

"The kind of person that I am - I detest getting entangled with trouble. But if you really have any trouble, I'll help. To say I'll risk my life for you sounds kind of fake. But as long as it's within my power, I'll definitely help you." "Ah, go away, go away! I shouldn't befriend people like you; I can't have any secrets! Can't you let me remain mysterious?" "But I want to be friends with you." ep. 15

the only two people who are able to see and experience the world in the same way.

#异人之下 #i am nobody #zhuge qing #wang ye #这俩的宿命感，也不假。 #also when i say “altered my fate” i mean that Wang Ye LITERALLY altered Zhuge Qing's fate #they both feel apologetic to each other; yet neither believes the other owes them anything #i really can't wait for their relationship to evolve in season two

[noxious-fennec]

Alright. I want you all made perfectly aware that I have completely cut support for Wilbur soot and any associated projects. I find his "apology" to be disingenuous and trashy damage control, and it undermines whatever desire he has to improve, however genuine that is.

I 100% support Shelby and any victim of such disgusting behaviour, i commend them for their courage, and I wish them nothing but prosperity, support, and happiness. I will always value their peace over whatever art he made. I'll find other fucking art.

#wilbur situation #i have been distant from mcyt for the past few months because of the current state of the world. yk. 5 genocides/wars going on #but i have built a home here primarily around him and i have to clarify #i wont be deleting old work however i doubt I'll ever make anything new. thats not a moral judgement of others just for my personal peace #i dont like hindsight moral highground bullshit nor all men are trash sentiment btw it undermines the message we should be taking here #nor the idea that a bad person is an undying title. but given the way hes brokn the trust of multiple loved ones #and used his platform as leverage to do so. i am firm in the belief he should not have a platform as it is detrimental to everyone's safety #to clarify i stopped the moment i heard Shelby's story; i was still processing + real life + focus on current global events #but today i felt that i owe ppl a disclaimer given how ive built my presence on him. regrettably

[farmlesbians]

ghosting someone after a date is something like wildly unfathomable to me which is why i’m still kinda like…. ouchie ow owie over it a couple months later like what do u MEAN??? how can u do that to someone so casually idk maybe i’m too sensitive but how can u treat people u have met so disposably (not a word)

#like its not even about the person who did it to me its just like huh????????????? my brain does not comprehend how u could do it and not #feel guilty forever. i don’t think i’m made 4 dating like just tell me straight up and i’ll be okay with it now i’m just like ????????????? #and i know theres not something i did to ‘justify’ it like idt its rly justified ever unless the person is a genuine threat but its like ? #?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? #like ‘nobody owes anyone anything’ but like why do u only do things if u think ur obligated to cause u owe it to them just be a decent pers #woke up at 7:40 am after a weird dream ignore me #my friends keep telling me that i gotta get used to it but like…… 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 why cant people just be decent

[theroundbartable]

Me: positive responses to my school work? The hell?

Teacher: well, yeah, you did good-

Me: but this- I! Did this!

Teacher: yes. Well done

Me: holy shite! I did good? What if I do another task?

Teacher: awesome!!!!

Me:

I present to you: the mind boggling concept of getting praised for your accomplishments rather than punished for your mistakes.

I've been living off this experience for over 6 months.

#uni #personal #praise #it's like wtf #and yeah i know i get compliments in ao3 comments and under art posts #but there is a difference #i'm doing art and writing for fun and don't owe you anything #so critique would simply cause me to stop sharing stuff #so praise here as economical value #but my teachers have faces #and I am depending on their good will #there is a different power dynamic between us than between a writer and their voluntary comment section #though writing and your responses still do mean the world to me #i think you know what I mean

[sysig]

Rainbows (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Papyrus #Sans #This rainbow is all out of order - and so many negative glows ah :0 #I didn't mean for them to trend negative! They were just easier to imagine the expressions - maybe I'll take a second pass on the positives #Or in green's case the negative :') #Again in order of when I drew them so kinda all over the place haha #I wanted to go in order! And then I got distracted pft - thus started with red ow :( #Honestly I was thinking of it just being a surprise-pain more than anything lol - like a splinter haha that wouldn't even pierce him! #D'you think that eyeglows could also act like automatic word-responses? Like how we say ''Ow'' when we're surprised but not hurt sometimes #Silly haha #The second is a lot less silly-intended tho more actual pain #It's also sad to think that Sans' red would pretty much have to be sympathy/emotional pain :( #The kind of survivors guilt of not being able to shoulder more but he's so fragile! It's not his fault! #I am quite happy with both of their expressions there tho especially their mouth shapes - and how the colours interact with their eyes #Lineless colours are some of my favourites :) You can tell it's my pencils and not my pen there 'cause it's feathery hehe #For example Edgar's scars are usually with my pen and they have an almost hard-line quality while my pencils are soft :) S'pretty #Switched colours! I unfortunately misremembered what their meanings were oops lol #Well I got them kinda half-right - I like blue as skeptical quite a lot :D I think it suits them both! #Sans as wary and logical and wanting to keep distance to assure his safety and what he can devote energy to - I like it! #And Papyrus using his brother's colour to be grown up in the way that Sans is hehe <3 It's sweet #I misremembered orange lol I assigned blue's alt meaning of ''curiousity'' - orange is meant to be bravery! Oops lol #I think I was thinking of Papyrus' childlike excitement and wanting to know and be involved! Haha #Greeeeens <3 Happy boys happy with each other! I love when they're happy ♥ Interlocked holding hands hehe #Pinks! Along a similar line! I like pink as platonic affection :D And as embarrassment lol but hgg the sweetness! The care and love! #Is my bias showing lol - especially with the bros sleeping on each other haha ♪ They're both happy to know the other is safe! #Couple'a stresses - I like Sans' more I'm not even gonna sugarcoat lol his expression turned out so good haha #And the inverse for the purples! I do like Sans' face but his body :P Papyrus tho - he turned out sad and perfect :')

[layalu]

hey guess who just finished EotE and is feeling So Very Normal about it

#i wanna paint this properly at some point but i needed to get this out of my system #my art #id in alt #outer wilds #outer wilds eote #outer wilds spoilers #(idk if this says anything without context lol but i'll probably ramble in the tags so imma give it a spoiler tag anyway) #i will admit i only watched a walkthrough instead of playing bc i am a wuss :') #would def recommend playing over watching any part of ow but still. hhhhhhhh #the thematic contrast & parallels of the strangers is so gooood #also the atmosphere (it is great in the entirely of ow but i love how eote keeps it up while making it distinct from the main game?) #also also solanums and the prisoners theme together is the best thing. btw. so pretty but it makes me cry #but ye. i love how it starts with one eye and then every species that gets involved has progressively more #which idk if there is supposed to be any meaning to that lol but it sure is cool for Imagery TM

[enruiinas]

⭐ RANDOM PSA / QUESTION FOR MUTUALS that's been on my mind: ⭐

― 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀 𝐌𝐔𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒?

I know a lot of my mutuals I chat ooc with regularly are okay with multiple ongoing projects and have the same "if you want to send the thing, send the thing" mindset, but a lot of the times when I'm in my meh places and can't find my words I still want to send out memes/unprompted things or approach people about potential interaction ideas. If you have any thoughts to share on this I'd love to hear them, but this is basically my way of asking (for my reference):

― 𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒/𝐔𝐍𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐈'𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 "𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐔𝐏" 𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒?

#if you'll indulge me #i just know people have different levels of what they're okay with here #it's a peace of mind thing for me to know if i can + if there's a limit etc :3 completely respect if it's not your thing! #on my end i am always up for anything you want to send. idc how many things we have going on or who owes what. #✦ — 𝐨𝐨𝐜. | misc.

[renofthewoods]

you are trans if you change your gender identity. thats it! thats all you have to do. you dont have to conform to some binary box, nor do you have to do anything you dont want to. you dont have to dress differently, you dont have to alter your body, you dont have to change your pronouns nor your name if you dont want to. the most important thing you can do is be yourself and present yourself in the way that *you* want of course, it's perfectly fine if you want surgeries or hrt or to change everything about yourself. thats amazing that you can bloom into yourself through those things. i'm just saying that not everyone has the same experience in those regards, and sometimes it can be isolating when all you hear is praise for people who transitioned in that way change as much as you want about yourself as long as it is what *you* want!! it's your body, your being, your canvas to express how you feel on the inside. you are wonderful!!! exclusionists suck!!

#trans #transgender #nonbinary #lgbtq #btw im saying this as someone who “looks like a woman” and is fine with it but am still nonbinary #i use they/fae and i changed my name #i think we need to stop being so binary with how we view people #nobody owes you anything about their body #also if you dont want to identify as trans thats also okay but just know that no matter what youre valid

[tavina-writes]

Sorry may I ask you a question? Your meta is so interesting! In mdzs "debts" is a recurring theme and can you please explain it? I've read meta about how in Chinese culture jc's owed the wen siblings a debt and he should have saved them, but I've also read meta about how he owed a hugger debt to his own sect. I've read how jgy killed whr and nmj, people who he owned his educations (debts). I thought that mdzs was more about "Who is wrong? Who is right?" so that everyone is a bit wrong and a bit right but this kind of meta make me doubt myself and think that maybe in mdzs someone is really morally right (wwx and lwj) and everyone else is wrong. I am going a little crazy, that's why I asked you. Anyway, thanks in advance and have a good day!

Hi Nonny!

There's no need to apologize for sending an ask! I love asks!

Regarding your question about debts and what is "owed" in relationships, I think it's important to clarify that like, presumably if someone saved your life you'd also owe them a debt of gratitude, a life debt, or however and whichever other 'debt' terminology you'd care to use there. So this concept of "debt" because you owe someone for doing something for you is not in and of itself a 'unique to Chinese culture' problem, and I think looking at "oh this person "owes" this other person a thing" is not entirely a great? way to analyze how character relationships "should" or should not go. There are lots of ways we as people in a society owe other people in our society and the characters in this book, much like us, are trapped in a confluence of factors that pull them in different directions regarding what they should or should not do.

The book itself (at least from my own opinion) is meant to read as "everyone is both right and wrong at various points in this text because this is a book with complex characters and not a morality lesson" because lest we forget, WWX made a woman eat a chair leg at one point, which. We cannot say this was correct in really anything except the most reductive main character centric interpretation.

Regarding debts themselves that say, WangXian might owe their families in accordance to their society that sound just about the same as the examples mentioned above, we can say things like "since Wei Wuxian was raised by the Jiang, he should've been helping Jiang Cheng rebuilding Lotus Pier instead of sitting around drinking or running off with the Wen!" or "how dare Lan Wangji injure thirty-three of his family elders, doesn't he know he should've been filial to them and owed his education and position in society to the Lan Sect?" and "why is it that WangXian got to go fuck in a bush at the end of the story when other people who arguably did fewer crimes end up dead? Does this mean they owed less to society or made all the right choices compared to say, the other people who are still in fact super dead and don't get to fuck their beloved in a bush?"

Does this start to look like this concept of "debts" doesn't,,, actually explain anything about the moral complexities of the character's situations? That's because it isn't a good indicator of if character x made a moral choice or not.

But again, this whole concept of "debts" to explain why a character does a thing and why they're morally good or evil and reprehensible for not doing this other thing is entirely a thing fandom does in meta to make their fave look good or character they're an anti about look extremely bad under a case of "well ACKSHUALLY morality says they SHOULD HAVE done this!" None of these characters exist either as Perfectly Moral Beings or Perfectly Evil Immoral Beings inside a decision making vacuum.

It...also doesn't really matter if your fave is right or wrong either :D just for context. They're all fictional blorbos upon a page and or screen. No real person was harmed in over the course of the story. No woman deep throated a chair leg, no child was tossed down the stairs, no groups of people were massacred, no brothers were abandoned, no one was poisoned with rage disease until they died, nobody committed incest... etc etc and honestly debating about if fictional characters were right or wrong fascinates me a lot less than "what does the story tell us about what drove them and made them tick?" and "what adaptational and translational choices did other people before me make about this story and do I agree with them on their adaptational choices."

:( sorry this came out so messy anon! I just don't think the "did this character repay their debts -> is this character a good person -> a morally good character therefore doesn't owe anyone anything anymore and if they do owe someone something that doesn't count/no they don't." pipeline is particularly useful from an analyzing the story standpoint.

#don't actually come debate in my notes or my inbox on if wangxian owe their families anything #or if this one debt a character has outweighs the other things that also act on their lives #like actually i am begging y'all to not #the debts debate means almost nothing! there are a lot of things everyone owes everyone else! #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #my meta #meta #asks and answers

[money-and-dandellions]

continuation to this post:

Meg who unintentionally and absolutely illogically gets worried when Lester gets sick after the ghoul incident and he doesn't really understand why would she do that

until he does

#meg will fidget with literally anything and stare at him non stop #and ask him so much questions which is strange (why would she ask so much questions; why she asks him to make a stop; why she stares at hi #as if he will disappear; why she frowns so much at him? he is fine?) #so she asks him questions OR doesn't ask them at all just looking at him because he is tired and sick and how for the fuck he i— #—what if he will die? she can't lose him not again he almost died je was so pale she can't lose him again its going to he her fault— #and lester doesn't really understand why she seems so unnerved but tries so hard not to show it until he stops to yk stretch or smthng and #and practically blanks out and all he can hear is his little sister's voice why it is so small why it sounds so scared is she crying why— #why would she cry he is fine why is his cheeks wet ow that hurts and then he gets conscious and realises after a pause what had happened an #and sees meg that is so so scared and oh gods im sorry i didn't mean to scare you whats wrong why are you crying— #oh #and lester will get it after some time and try to make sure that she is okay that my dear meg is not your fault i am fine just a #a little tired and its okay shhhh #i am a sucker for when lester is sick af #the author is also sick with harsh flu is had fever (39°C) for 2 days straight but now is getting better #toa #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #sunflower siblings #love them #and they love each other #platonically

[obstinatecondolement]

I feel bad complaining when I have a roof over my head and don't have to worry about access to electricity, heating, running water and food, but I am so fucking sick of having my disability payment adjusted to account for an additional income stream I haven't had for almost nine months.

#I don't love constantly owing people money and having Nothing in the bank at most two days after I get paid every week #like my material needs are all more than catered for so genuinely I am fine and I would be mortified if anyone offered to help #so don't feel that this is what this is about #and I would be able to get help paying the various medical etc. bills I owe if I sucked it up and asked my parents #which are also not urgent and Will Be Fine #I just have nothing left to save or to like #buy myself a chocolate bar if I want to crol #also no advice please #I have chased this up very recently and have an acknowledgement that enquiry has been forwarded to the relevant department #there is not anything else I can currently do