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kunikidas-lost-glasses · 1 year

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Soukoku with upset Chuuya

Thank you so much for your request anon! I hope you enjoy the drabble I've wrote for it.

Also if anyone saw this getting accidentally uploaded unfinished. No you didn't.

TWs: Slight mention of unhealthy drinking habits, mention of loss, crying, slight mention of feeling empty, very slight mention of relapsing

Probably ooc

Dazai and Chuuya live together in this. Can be read as Married!Soukoku but it doesn't have to be.

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Usually Chuuya comes home from work much later than Dazai so when Dazai once came home to see Chuuyas' shoes standing already in the entrance he knew that something was off

Chuuya would never leave work earlier than usual if there wasn't something off.

Mori also wasn't the person to give people a day off so something must have happened and it made Dazai's heart wrenching with worry

After he entered their house, he called out the redheads' name, announcing that he's home but when no answer came, Dazai started to grow even more worried

He quickly looked through some of their rooms in order to find his partner and eventually found him lying on his back on the couch in their living with his hat on his face and still in his work clothes

If Chuuya was lying there like this was never a good sign. Usually if he was lying there like this, was mentally and physically exhausted too exhausted to change into more comfortable clothes and he usually tried to fall asleep with his hat on his face in order to sleep through whatever was bothering him.

After Dazai found his parter, he carefully approached him, asking Chuuya what happened to which the latter told him sharply that he should leave him alone

It wasn't unusual that Chuuya wanted to be left alone after a shitty day of work but the slight voice cracks and the fact that it sounded like Chuuya was close to crying alerted Dazai immediately so he just replied that he won't leave him alone like that

Chuuya also never left Dazai when he tried to send Chuuya away when he was feeling horrible. Chuuya would always stay by his side and they worked through it together and it wouldn't be any different the other way around.

After Dazai's reply, Chuuya just groaned so

After a short moment of silence in which Dazai tried to figure out what could have happened, he heard Chuuya sniffling and saw that the latter had his hands clenched into fists

As soon as he saw, he gently put his hand on Chuuya's fist and asked him if it was okay if he'd lift his hat

Chuuya just shook his head so Dazai sighed and sat down next to the couch, caressing the back of Chuuya's hand lightly

Dazai hated to see his partner like this and he hated not knowing what made him so upset. It pained him

Eventually Dazai asked Chuuya if something happened on the mission which he was supposed to lead

He knew that his partner had been horribly stressed since the last few weeks because he had the Responsibility to lead some new ones in a difficult mission. He had trained them sometimes and grew a bit closer to some after some time.

The mission had proven itself to be much more difficult than it was supposed to be, causing Chuuya to stay over hours at work

Upon hearing that question, Chuuya tensed up and shortly his crying quieted down which was enough of an answer for Dazai

He held Chuuyas' hand a bit tighter. He could imagine what had happened

After a moment, Chuuya told him that the mission had failed. The enemy had been too strong and not one of the new ones surviv

While he told his partner what happened, his voice failed him a few times and it was barley above a whisper

While he told him what happened, Dazai felt his heart sink and after Chuuya finished with talking he was fully crying now. He tried to hold it back but he failed miserably

Dazai knew his partner for long enough to know how much Chuuya was blaming himself at this moment and how much he must be grieving after the people. He had always been like this

Dazai quietly told him that he's sorry to hear

There was a short silence again in which Chuuyas' crying was the only sound being audible but then the redhead started to rant about how Mori should have never send them into that mission, that he himself should have done something and he ranted himself into rage about the whole situation, blaming himself and blaming Mori.

Dazai quietly listened and let him rant as much as he needed

He already expected Chuuya to have such an anger outburst and he knew from experience that it was the best to let Chuuya rant until all the anger quieted down

Eventually he stopped ranting and yelling but he was still crying and now much more than he was before

Chuuya managed to choke out a question, asking Dazai if he could tell him where he went wrong

Dazai softly told him, that he had done anything he could and that if anyone was to blame then Mori and not him.

Chuuya just replied that he could have gone to them to support them but Dazai reminded him that he literally couldn't since he hadn't been allowed to help. He had been ordered to stay at the HQ to lead from there, to help with paperwork and with other missions

He then asked Chuuya once more if he was allowed to lift the hat to see him and this time Chuuya weakly nodded so Dazai carefully lift the hat

Chuuyas' face was tear stained, his jaw was clenched and he looked at Dazai with so much pain, despair and helplessness that it hurt. It hurt him to see his partner like this oh so bad and truly wanted to take a trip to the headquarters of the port Mafia right now in order to pay Mori a visit

He gently wiped away Chuuyas' tears. He knew that there wasn't much to make the situation better but he could be there for Chuuya

All the other times Chuuya had been there for Dazai when he relapsed or broke down again and now Dazai wanted to be there for Chuuya even though he knew that he wasn't the best at comforting

They both weren't but oh well

Since he was squatting next to the couch, he could easily lie down his head against Chuuya's chest which he did eventually

He then told Chuuya that he knew that he didn't want to believe it right now but that it truly wasn't his fault

Chuuya just nodded and started to unconsciously started to play with Dazai's messy brown hair

They stayed like this for quite a while, Dazai listening to Chuuya's steady heartbeat and Chuuya staring holes into the air, completely lost in thought while playing with Dazai's hair but after some time, Dazai got up, telling Chuuya that he had to drink something and also asking him if there was anything he could do for him which earned him a small smile from his partner

Chuuya then told him that just him being there was currently enough even though he wouldn't mind if Dazai would bring him some wine right now making Dazai snort

Of course he wouldn't bring him wine right now, refusing to let him fall more into his unhealthy drinking habits again but he brought him a big glass of water instead which he placed on their small couch table before carefully helping Chuuya to sit up

After Chuuya sat up, he handed him the cup which Chuuya drank empty in a matter of seconds

After the thanked Dazai, he started to complain about the headache he now had from crying but even his complaints lacked emotions and spite. He looked worn out, his eyes were red and puffy, there were dark shadows under his eyes from all those nights where he stayed in his office at the port mafia and his hair was a mess.

He almost looked empty too and this was worrying Dazai more than anything. Chuuya wasn't the one to feel empty. He had always been an emotional person with a fiery personality and Dazai didn't wanted this get taken away from him

After sitting quietly together for a while in which Dazai held Chuuya's hand, caressing it, Dazai suddenly stood up, went to get his phone and called Mori, calling Chuuya in sick before the redhead could protest

It took him all of his willpower not to Tell Mori what was currently going through his head right now

It would have ended in a mess

After he ended the call, he shushed down Chuuya's complaints before picking the older up and carrying to their bedroom(which wasn't that easy for him considering his noodle arms), telling him that he had to take care of himself now or else the consequences would be fatal

Chuuya who was confused at first and tried to get out of Dazai's grip slumped down against Dazai's shoulder after hearing what Dazai said

He was well aware that he was currently wrecking himself up and deep down he knew that the idiot was right

After they arrived in their bedroom, Dazai carefully sat Chuuya down onto their bed before he went to their closet to get a pajama which he gave the other

He then told Chuuya that he would bring some more water to drink for him and since he knew that Chuuya had to eat something since he had been skipping some meals during work in the past few days but since he himself couldn't cook for shit, he asked Chuuya if it was alright if he ordered some take out while Chuuya changed his clothes

Chuuya agreed so while he was changing into his pajamas in their bedroom, Dazai went downstairs to order take out and to get a bottle of water as well as a new glass

When he entered their bedroom again, Chuuya was lying in their bed, curled up under their blankets and stared through the big window next to their bed

Dazai carefully sat down on their bed too and gently went through Chuuyas' messy hair, asking him how he felt to which Chuuya honestly answered that he felt like shit

Dazai nodded and then told him to wait a second since he wanted to change into his pyjamas too so that he could lie down with him. After all, he was still in his daily clothes which he wore for work

After he too changed into his pyjamas, he lied down next to Chuuya and held him close, caressing his back and burying his face into the others hair

Chuuya hugged Dazai too and clutched onto him as if his life would depend on him

They didn't need any words to understand each other. Dazai understood Chuuyas' silent ask to never leave him again and Chuuya understood Dazai's quiet ressurement that he would stay with him

Eventually the exhaustion from the last days crashed down onto Chuuya, making him basically pass out from tiredness

Dazai stayed awake, continuing to hold Chuuya close and keeping an eye on him, occasionally wiping a few strands of hair out of his partners face

When the take out arrived, Chuuya got woken up by the doorbell and he even managed to eat something despite saying that he had no appetite

Dazai kept praising him for eating and drinking and after Chuuya managed to eat a small meal, they lied down again, Dazai holding Chuuya close again until Chuuya dozed off again.

Dazai knew that they had to work through everything and that it would take a while until Chuuya felt better again but he would be there for him and he wouldn't leave his side, helping him through this

The whole evening he plotted murder against Mori too

The next morning he let Chuuya sleep in and made breakfast for both of them after calling in sick too. Of course Ranpo already knew again what happened and like that he had no troubles calling in sick without a trustworthy explanation

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