#i DO NOT want anyone to justify my decision with it being activism and indirectly encourage others to do the same | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-student-out-of-time · 4 years

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(Mod, can this anon just say I really appreciate how much self-control you have? When that Haiji defender showed up on your blog, you just said "get off my blog". This anon really appreciates how you didn't scream at them, accuse the person of secretly being a pedophile themself, tell them to kill themself or to choke on broken glass, encourage your followers to harass Haiji fans, etc. Today's generation of pop-culture-fandom could learn from your example.)

//Now that you bring this up, if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to talk for a bit about fandom toxicity.

//There is, in a way, a feeling of entitlement and ownership when it comes to characters or properties. That, because these things hold a special place in our hearts, that they belong to us and that our interpretation of them is the correct one and that anyone who disagrees is wrong.

//So when there comes creative decisions or opinions made by others with those properties, even ones by the actual creator of the work, that don’t match up to our own, there can come a feeling that these are a direct attack against us as well. With that comes a lot of the worst parts of fan culture: harassment, insults, bullying, threats, and even actual attacks on these people.

//But the truth is, these people were probably just expressing their feelings and emotions about the same work, because they enjoy it too. They were never trying to directly or indirectly attack you, they just simply had a different opinion. It’s important to keep that in mind: the people you talk to online are human beings with thoughts and feelings of their own, and those feelings are rarely going to be the exact same as yours.

//An unfortunate part of the problem are the inherent psychological biases that we all have, and confirmation bias especially. Where we’ll focus on information we agree with (even if it’s factually wrong) and ignore anything that conflicts with that (even if it’s factually correct). This goes beyond just fandom, but I’m going to stay on topic.

//There is not a single human being at any point in history who hasn’t been guilty of these biases. You, me, everyone you’ve ever met, we’ve all done it at one point or another. The issue is when these biases get us to leap toward intolerant conclusions about those whose viewpoints we disagree with. “You don’t have the same opinion as me, so you must be stupid/evil/bigoted/brainwashed/etc.”

//It can be so easy to draw those conclusions about people, especially when the arguments aren’t well-structured and you’re in the heat of the moment. But let’s be real: we’re never all going to 100% agree on everything. And that’s okay. Hell, if we did, that sounds more like a dystopian nightmare scenario where free thinking has been suppressed.

//And thinking is an activity I’ve always encouraged. Toxicity is ultimately at odds with critical thinking, where any dissenting opinion is hunted down and suppressed and anyone who speaks up is bullied into silence. That is not what my blogs are about. It does kinda make me sad that I’m being praised for not being a toxic asshole, because I don’t really feel like that’s praiseworthy. I want that to be a normal thing.

//Here’s an experiment: take your favorite DR character and ask yourself why you like them. What is it about them that drew you to them? Their personality? Their backstory? Their role in the narrative of whichever game they were in? When you have those reasons in mind, consider the following: what about this character is flawed? What about them is inherently dark or troubling? Why might someone else dislike them?

//And then work backwards from there: take your least favorite DR character and ask yourself why you dislike them. Then find all the ways why someone else might like them without diving straight into intolerant conclusions. Look past the surface and dig a bit deeper to see what exactly makes them tick.

//That’s not me asking for essays, that’s something I want you all to consider for yourselves.

//I’ll be the first to admit I really disliked Junko. I didn’t consider her all that interesting of a character or a villain, and she just cames off as very annoying and overblown to me. I considered everything that she sets in motion to be far more interesting.

//I have, however, seen a lot analyses and in-depth looks at her as a character and after going through those, I came away with a lot of insights I didn’t even consider before. My opinion hasn’t changed too much, but I can definitely see (DR3 notwithstanding) all the way she can and does make for a interesting villain.

//So the takeaway is, even if you don’t end up changing your opinion, you can at least say “I still disagree, but I’ve gained some perspective into why someone would feel this way and I’m better for it.” Critical thinking does not mean you have to give up your opinions, and there does exists a very wide middle ground between total agreement and toxic harassment.

//But critical thinking is at odds with the idea that it’s best to retcon, ignore, or fabricate details of canon that we disagree with to justify those opinions. This is why I got so mad at the anon who claimed Haiji was talking about fictional underage girls, something that is not at all substantiated by evidence in the game. You can’t simply ignore these details because you don’t like them.

//Critical thinking is about being able to either say, “Okay, I fully acknowledge that these details about this character I like are problematic and I understand why it might upset people, but they’re not the sole or central reason why I like this character”, or “Okay, after careful analysis, maybe I was wrong about what I originally thought about them.”

//Me personally, I look at these details and ask “Okay, but how can we build off of this? Can we tell a new story with it?” For example, while SDRA2 Chapter 0 left a bad taste in most everyone’s mouths, I didn’t want to just retcon it. Instead, thought Kokoro being regretful over her actions and wanting to reconnect with her daughter would make for a very interesting story.

//But the most important part of this that I’d want anyone to take away is that it’s important to listen to others and consider their viewpoints as well, and again without immediately jumping toward conclusions and talking over them before they make their case. Listen to people, ask them questions, and remember that on the other end of the conversation is another human being with thoughts and feelings of their own.

//Now, there is that invisible fear that “understand that others have different opinions” is shorthand for “just accept that some people are into r*pe/inc*st/p*dophilia and let them make content of it.” I promise you that is not at all what I’m suggesting here. I hope my previous angry rant about Haiji cemented that fact.

//What I am saying is that we need to be acutely aware of both the thoughts and feelings of others and those of ourselves. That it’ll be better for us as well as others to apply critical thinking and careful insight into our opinions, not taking them as inherent fact simply because we hold them, and understand that others will not always enjoy the same content the same way we do.

//And most importantly, being able to separate those who are willing to listen vs. those who’ll prefer to stay toxic, bitter, and unmoving is a very important skill to learn. There is no shame in withdrawing yourself from any sort of talk with a person who upsets people for fun, and it will be better for your health in the long run.

//Finally, let’s be real, what’s gained from arguing with people online? People who you never have and probably never will meet? Not much. But if someone is not going to budge and only wants to share their toxicity with the world, it’s better for you to simply walk away, block them, cut yourself off, and move on. Their toxicity is their deal, and it doesn’t have to be yours.

//But I also think there are people who are willing to listen, who may simply not know that they’re engaging in things that are hurtful or toxic. And some frank but kind insight as to why can change their opinions. A willingness to listen, not to just defend their position, is what’s important.

//I’ll be completely honest here and say I was in that position once. I’ve said and thought some awful things before, and I feel so fortunate that I met the right people who stopped me from going down that road before I got too far. Not with hostility or arguments, but honest and kind discussions and insights.

//As fans and as people in general, we can, should, and need to be better. That’s why I don’t want my space to be full of hate and bullying, but just storytelling and creative discussions, where people are welcome to express their opinions, and even if we disagree, that’s alright. We’ve at least gained some insight into each others’ views ^^

//Compassion and wisdom are what I consider the most important virtues, and being more critical of ourselves is how I think we can solve the issue of fandom toxicity. That’s what I’ve tried to apply here. My goal is just to tell a good story for you all to enjoy here, and I appreciate each and every one of you who’ve followed, liked, reblogged, or even just considered any of my posts worthwhile to read

//And if you made it all the way through this, I hope you’ll consider everything I’ve said here as well. You can’t change every single toxic person out there, but you can change yourself for the better and encourage others to do the same.

#mod talks #mod rambles #a student out of time #I didn't have any bad experiences recently I promise #this has just been on my mind for a while and I felt like sharing #Anonymous

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theperennialworld · 4 years

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Karma and Astrology!

We often read and talk about Karma and how it is impacting or has impacted our lives. Rarely, we give the heed to the fact that what is the magnitude of that impact. There are belief systems which try and designate and justify it in several forms. The idea is to analyse and explore those belief systems and see if they make any logical sense. Karma is nothing but an outcome of the deeds and actions one undertakes. In the derivative form, it can be further sub-categorized as good and bad karma. Further down, it involves the past, present and future (by and large, irrespective of my personal belief). That's how anyone believing in Karma would sum it up to in a nutshell. So, what is good karma? There are several ways to define it but I don't resonate with most and find them irrelevant especially in today's context (more on this follows below). To me, good karma is anything that generates a positive vibe from within.

This does not necessarily mean that good karma is universally good. No, it's not. What one considers as a good Karma could be a bad Karma for someone else (it's subjective and tends to change). What would you call betting money, winning (or stealing) and donating for charity? One can find enough reasons to bottle it down either way. It's erratic to the situation. And most likely creates an equilibrium of good and bad. The point here is - if the deed (or action) is generating positive vibes it could well be labelled as 'Good Karma' because the positive vibes ultimately instil positive energy, the ultimate source of human existence. And the same can be concluded for bad karma. A lot of people integrate the past karma to the present situation (or reverberations) and the present karma to what could happen in the future. I believe that the energy source that runs the system is like water, neutral (not literally). It can be accustomed to the situation it is in. The deeds turn this to positive or negative and that defines who we are and what could be a possible outcome of that action (but only restricted to that action). Now my understanding of how the past karmas (or the deed's outcome) impact our present and similarly how the present karma would eventually impact the future is just like a domino effect, one leads to the other. The good karma gives you enough positive energy to fuel the next good karma and so on. Similarly, a decision or defining outcome of good karma would lead to the outcomes of other activities and actions of the future. It's that simple and to me logical. These outcomes are dependent and linked to each other, one leading the other directly or indirectly. Now, these vibes eventually become a trait of our personality and predominantly define our character - Positive or negative (again subject to perception). The subsequent things that take place in our lives are governed by this trait and are the by-products of the initial actions and we end up attributing it to the good (or bad) karma. Let's take a detour for a while and talk a bit about beliefs in astrology and then we see if really there is any connection with the Karma. Astrology systems believe that the positioning of planets and stars impact the lives of humans on this planet in lot many ways than what one can comprehend. A very interesting point I read somewhere and it remained with me since is the independence of Astrology from the distance of planets. A planet could be on either side of the sun and still have an effect on us. There is no justification for that and if it is true, why other tens of thousands of planets in the universe don't impact us (because distances don't matter right?). The reality could be different. For instance, kids born in certain months would be learning alongside kids much younger. They would get an obvious advantage of more developed mind studying/learning the same things as their younger friends. Wouldn't that create a difference which can be presented via several conclusions under astrology? This is just an instance. And an accumulation of such instances would add up and be impactful over a period of time. I feel there is a huge disconnect between what is being claimed (sold) and the forecasted reality (could be delusional). The probable truth, I believe, lies somewhere in between. When we read an interpretation chart or a list of traits, more often than not we end up believing (rather convincing self) on certain things and also overlooking a few which probably don't fit that well. If all people born under one sign have more of less common traits then all specialists from a particular field, in the majority, should have birthdays falling in the same month. Same goes another way round - People born in same month should develop as like-minded individuals. Many a time we tend to ignore the differences tagging them as trivial. But these trivial differences 'customize us' as an individual much different from others. This ultimately leads to the choices and decisions we make in our lives. A classic example of the difference - I am born under a sign which labels me as a party person and someone with loud choices in music, colours and similar such things; but I am the exact opposite of that. I have never been a party person nor I have liked the loud side of music or colour palette. But still, if I want to, I could convince myself that a lot of traits fit in well with my sun sign. And that's where is the catch - The framework is the same (we are all homo sapiens after all!). The customization is what sets us apart and that is an outcome of so many variables - Our socioeconomic condition, the geography, people around us, the education, the environment and upbringing we received and so and so forth. It has nothing to do with the alignment of stars. Scientifically speaking, there are four types of fundamental forces that define the existence of human beings - gravity, electromagnetism, nuclear-strong, and nuclear-weak. A lot happening on this planet can be attributed to these four forces. Often times, we confuse the forces with that of outcomes of Karmas. The moon, for example, controls the tidal effect on Earth (and this is a scientific fact). The human body is predominantly water and hence the impact on us is natural and obvious. The effects of planets are similar on us (by the way of the utilisation of these natural forces). The astrology uses the Zodiac signs (constellations), the ecliptic sectors and the planets. Though, as scientific as it may seem there are so many questions that remained unanswered in the process of defining the horoscopes and astrological charts. The solutions, in fact, are more arbitrary as the 'how' is missing and focus is given to 'what' without substantial evidence. Wearing a stone could solve a problem? But how? that remains unanswered. I have tried to find the logic but no convincing and clears answers came in. What I could derive is that it's a fanciful fiction which gives more of a psychological effect than anything else. What you strongly believe in, has the most powerful psychological effect (and this is science!) Now coming back to the original topic of Karma. A lot of people believe that the bad Karma or their aftereffects can be subsided down and for them, astrology comes to the rescue. Nothing wrong in believing in something and following it (at least it gives you the peace of mind). But what baffles me is the justification in defence of following a belief. It's not rational when someone tells you that something sure does impact but it's beyond science and hence can defy logics and the whys and hows thrown at it and hence can duck the understanding. To me, it's not a science but rather an empirical, waited for long enough in the wings of logic without much success but have triumphed the art of seeding the belief in way too many minds to be able to start making any sense and to ask the questions (or counter questions). We are not the victims of the bad karma. Rather we are just experiencing an after effect of a previous decision (of this very life). When we fail to acknowledge, the domino effect continues and it keeps on reinforcing our belief of being a victim of bad karma (or lucky enough because of good karma). This further percolated down as misapprehensions (to those around us) and become the seeds of developing a wrong understanding. The rectification lies in the differentiation of bad vs good karma and correcting the future course and to a large extent - the present. Vedic astrology intensely clasps on karma and reincarnation and it claims that an individual subconscious chose the specifics of next birth and the accumulated karma eventually is carried over to next birth. If this were true, would a subconscious want to be born as an animal or an insect? They are living beings too and sure carry a life. Who are these trillion of subconscious minds who chose this life? Also, it defies the logic and science of evolution, without digging too deep in this subject. Back in Babylonian and ancient times, these seemed more convincing without the need to probe the logic behind. With the advancement of science and as it is uncovering the mysteries, the pseudo logic falters and it is eventually termed as the belief beyond science. And which is where my apprehension in typical astrology comes in. There is no quantitative brief. With the same factors and details, different astrologers would give a different analysis of past, present and future and as I said, our mind ends up picking the selective information, believing in it and eventually living it and subconsciously negating what doesn't fit the bill. Why this analysis is different in the first place if the inputs are the same? Now as the science is able to establish the 'origin' of human existence, the process of evolution, the older theories become more hogwash until proven otherwise by the way of the logical counter. Till that happens the preference is pretty much upon us. Both the worlds are here to stay and both can bottle down their beliefs convincingly with more than enough set of believers on either side. The choice is ours!

#Karma #prespective #astrology #opinion

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no-i-didnt-notice-im-short · 6 years

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Future telling Lance

Part 1:

Lance walked around the space mall looking aimlessly at the window displays.

This was the second time they came here but the first time he actually had money for anything he might want to buy and of course because he actually has the money, he can’t think of anything to buy to save his life.

He walked into a suspiciously much darker hallway were people opened up kiosks instead of actual shops. Aliens selling various things from other organs to spell books to colourful potions lined up stretched in front of him. He remembered Coran talking about the nature of this place back during his time 10,000 years ago and he kind of understood what he might’ve meant at that moment. Curiosity coursed through Lance forcing him to continue the trek down the trail to see its end.

He was suddenly stopped by shopkeeper, if you could even call them that, wearing so many layers Lance was way more intrigued by their biological thermostat that he didn’t notice the fact that the alien was taking in pure fluent Spanish.

“Your ability is hidden quiet well, young seer.” The alien’s voice was almost dusty, like it hasn’t been used in over millennia. He brain didn’t register the Spanish at first but his homesickness pushed him to take any chance to actually communicate in his mother tongue, regardless with whom.

“Ability?” Lance said. “Wait how the hell are you speaking Spanish? Have you been to earth before? Is there someone here from earth? What are the chances they speak Spanish and taught Aliens to speak it so well! Is-“

“You ask too many questions.” The alien held they her… their hand as if to silence him. “That in fact answer’s my question. Curiosity courses through your veins, attracting the right answers”

The alien walked towards their kiosk as if the conversation never even happened.

Lance was shocked to say the least. He never realised how much he missed talking in Spanish until this very moment. He didn’t really speak it that much on earth when he was at Garrison but he did mutter it sometimes and even had some Spanish speaking collegues.

But not never space.

He even stopped randomly slipping into Spanish like he used whenever he was angry, and even stopped thinking in Spanish, which might not seem like a big deal to anyone, but it was to him. He was losing himself. He didn’t want to anyone anyone by speaking in a language they didn’t understand.

“What ability are you talking about?” Lance asked the shopkeeper.

“Your kind’s ability of course. What other ability would I be talking about?” She said like all of Lance’s questions were suddenly answered.

“My kind doesn’t have abilities.” Lance’s own hesitance shocked him.

This how thing was frustrating to Lance. The alien talked like they knew something about him, something important, and if it wasn’t for the fact they were talking in fucking Spanish he would’ve not given them a second thought and passed it off as another crazy alien out here in the big vast stretch that is space.

“Yes they do.” The alien was so sure with the way she spoke that it was starting to get to Lance. She looked at him as if she can see the deep fabrics of his soul. She saw what made him tick and what made him… him. “Future telling, aura reading… Those kind of abilities. Your kind is very famous for them. Even we heard of them.”

Lance stared at the alien for a few minutes in complete silence.

“How do you know this?” Lance whispered.

“You have a golden aura around you, an aura only preserved for psychics.” The alien’s scratched their chin while looking Lance up and down. He was merely an open book to her.

A psychic.

He hated that word.

His Great Aunt was right.

She called it the psychic gene. It was a genetic mutation that was spreading around Cuba for generations that allowed the host to have special psychic abilities. Of course those people were deemed unholy and were hunted to be cleansed, which was indirectly code for killed. So whoever was unfortunate enough to get this gene kept their ability hidden. The only person from Lance’s immediate family to have this gene was his Great Aunt, his grandmother’s sister, but he finally understood her weird fixation towards Lance and why his parents forbad him from sitting and listening to her stories. They were afraid he might have it and disgrace them.

Right now, in a mall thousands of lightyears away, shit finally made sense.

“Do you know how to bring the gene out of being dormant?” Lance asked the alien. If he could learn to use his… powers for the team, he could be a great asset. He could actually be useful. Do something only he can do. He suddenly became very lightheaded.

This was both a miracle and a curse.

“Yes.” They paused for a few minutes before continuing “Are you sure you want me to activate it?”

“Why would I not?”

“Knowing the future might drive you mad.” The alien explained “It’s not set in stone. You will only see the future with the greatest probability of happening.”

“If a bad outcome has a greater chance of happening, what’s the harm of helping my team prepare the sufficient precautions?”

“I am merely warning you.”

“I appreciate the warning but this could be a blessing in disguise.”

The alien looked at him, they seem to be thinking about whether his point justified his decision or not. They must’ve decided it does as they turned around and grabbed a bottle from one of the few packed shelves and handed it to Lance.

“This bottle will activate the gene. Though be careful as this might not be the blessing you make it out to be. It will lead you down an unhappy path.”

“It a sacrifice I am willing to make for my team.”

“Very well.”

“Are you not going to ask for a price?”

“You are a Paladin of Voltron.” The alien smiled. “What you do for the universe is payment enough.”

Lance bid the alien farewell and walked towards the team’s meeting point. It wasn’t until he met up with the team and was on his way back to the castle that he realized he wasn’t wearing his armor. So how the hell did the alien know he was a paladin in the first place?

Testing this idea out... Tell me if you guys like it and actually want me to continue it...

I did this in a previous work, i am not a Spanish speaker so.... its in italics :)

i have a lot planned for this so i might continue it anyways

#its gonna be langsty my dudes #langst #voltron #future telling lance #vld #lance mcclain #gonna be klance too #lance (voltron)#my writing #part 1

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linskywords · 7 years

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So, the "using violence to prevent" has me somewhat worried. What exactly does that mean to you? Punching nazis? Killing muslims to prevent terrorism? The Bush doctrine of "preemptive self-defense"?

That’s a really complicated question and one I have conflicted feelings about! I’m going to babble about them for a little bit; none of this is necessarily my final opinion on the thing, but rather part of a work in progress.

In general, I’ve been very strongly influenced by the idea of passive resistance – the cultural legacy of MLK and Ghandi – and I’ve slowly been coming to question how I feel about that as both a principle and a practical approach. I am VERY UNCOMFORTABLE with the idea of using violence as a means of changing society, and I’m not sure how much of that is a valid moral stance and how much is almost…an aesthetic one – violence is harsh and harmful and not something I want to be mixed up in. In many cases, violence is not a good practical solution; maybe killing Hitler would have prevented some of the atrocities of the Holocaust, but no one knew to kill Hitler early enough, and by the time they knew it would help, maybe killing him would have elevated him to sainthood and given his followers more fervor. I haven’t particularly thought through the details of that example and don’t really care – it’s just a way of saying, it’s not always clear to me on a practical level how violence would help.

On a moral level, though, I wonder if we haven’t falsely elevated physical violence as somehow the worst thing that anyone can do. Voting for a healthcare bill that (let’s just say, for the sake of argument) would indirectly kill hundreds of thousands of people – that’s really, really bad, but it’s not violent. Does that make it better? I am not at ALL saying that there’s a violent solution to the healthcare crisis or that we should try to find one. But there are huge, massive institutional decisions (or lack of same) that result in the suffering and death of untold numbers of people. There are people who actively prop up and advance those decisions, sometimes in full knowledge of the suffering they’ll be bringing about. You can say that I’m drawing a false dichotomy here – those decisions can be bad without violence being okay – but my point is that violence is often seen to cross a line that those decisions don’t. I’m not sure that that moral ranking is an appropriate one.

I think it’s rooted, actually, in where we’ve located violence in our society and decided it’s allowed. The police and the military are allowed to use violence. Limiting who can practice violence, and against whom, is how we create a certain degree of safety. That works pretty well as long as the military and the police keep using violence in the ways they’re supposed to. As we’ve seen with the wave of police killings of black people, the police don’t always do this perfectly. When does police and/or military violation of the proscribed use of violence cross a line where the system is so broken that there’s nothing to be gained by leaving violence to them – only something to be lost? I don’t know the answer to that, and I hope I never have to figure it out, but on a theoretical level, I can imagine a point at which violence on the part of ordinary people would be necessary and justified. I think it would have been justified in Nazi Germany, when the Nazis (legally, with official sanction) came to take away the Jews. There might never have been a clear moment for it or a good (or successful) way to implement it, but violence would not, in that case, have been going too far.

On a smaller scale, let’s look at one of the examples you give: punching Nazis. (I’m going to ignore your second example, because wow, is it ever inaccurate to think that “killing muslims”–what, en masse??–would prevent terrorism. We Christians are really good at terrorism, my friend. Your third example, as I understand it, is more about interaction between nations, and that’s not something I have as many thoughts or feelings about at the moment.) I’m not sure punching Nazis is particularly effective at defeating fascism. But it recalls the question of whether violence is the worst thing a person can do. If someone is going around saying that Jews and POC should die, and you punch that person in the nose, is what you did worse than what they did? Is it more dangerous to the structure of society? You can argue whether or not it’s useful – but if there actually were something effective that could be done by those who oppose fascism, and that action were violent, would that mean it shouldn’t be done?

I’m going to say again that this line of questioning makes me very uncomfortable, because I don’t like the idea of violence as a solution to problems. I’m squeamish. But the doctrine that violence is NEVER the answer, not for ordinary citizens, strikes me as one that plays into the hands of those who control the groups that ARE officially sanctioned to practice violence. And I’m not sure I trust those groups to deploy that violence wisely. I’m hoping that there are peaceful ways to prevent American society from becoming a fascist dictatorship, if only because I really don’t ever want to be involved in violence. But if, in some theoretical case, violence were the most effective solution left to us, I’m not sure “violent” would be the same thing as “wrong.”

#violence #politics #fascism #possibly i should read some more stuff by mlk

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sparto-i · 7 years

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Soul character analysis?

hoooo BOY you better buckle in because he is my favorite gotdam character and i have a lot of things to say about this boy

first off, let’s start out with a summary so ppl who don’t wanna read 4,000 words can still get something outta this:

soul is a bit of an anomaly with his characterization in the beginning being VASTLY different from his characterization in the end: overall, he’s gone through the most change out of any character in the series. starting off, he was highly insecure and defensive, which likely could be the result of growing up under scrutiny: i have every reason to believe soul’s upbringing was not colorful or happy, but rather harsh and rigid. this is reflected in his desperation to scramble for an identity in the beginning (i have some theories about that). his turning point is when he’s infected with the black blood and begins to have more and more conversations with the Little Ogre- which made a few observations about him: he’s insecure. unsure. nothing like his partner. as the series progresses, he begins to gain confidence and lose that desperation to fit into a certain box and really starts to come into his own. he gains confidence in his abilities to think and analyze, as well as his abilities to support others. this shows his truly kind-hearted nature: a cool dude wouldn’t be a total jackass, right?

now for the REAL party (after the readmore)

just a warning, there will be a lot of mentions of mental illness (especially when it comes to his self-image) and unhealthy family relationships. if i need to add anything else to the warnings, please let me know!

let’s start off with soul’s past:

it’s a well-known fact that he comes from a rich, successful family of musicians- which is something he seems to be trying to forget. soul drops all of the aspects of his past life: he hides his skill and love for the piano, as well as redacting his last name entirely. again, this is common knowledge in the fandom by now. when he discovered he was a weapon, he took the chance to drop the Evans’s family tradition of producing musicians and started a new life.

but why? it’s never explicitly said that his home was a bad environment for him, only that he felt pressure to continue to uphold the esteemed family’s reputation. growing up under such a big shadow would produce that reaction in just about anyone. perhaps it’s soul’s running away that’s the most telling aspect of his life pre-DWMA. not only does he book it out of his home and into Nevada, but he completely tries to erase everything he was- the Wiki page on him states, “Memories of his past still affect him emotionally, so much so that he prefers to forget them entirely.” Pressure to be successful, while extremely stress-inducing, wouldn’t likely make him like this, unless his family was actively exerting this pressure on him. If his parents had reassured him that he didn’t have to fill in their shoes, he probably wouldn’t have run away, but would have rather gotten permission to enter the DWMA as per his request. But, that’s not what happened.

parents who live vicariously through their children put them through a lot of stress and oftentimes, that results in the child feeling unable to live up to their expectations, which turns into a low self-esteem complex. the child will either try hard to live up to those expectations, or give up entirely: soul chose the latter. as for his self-esteem, you can see this just about anywhere: he often compares himself to other people. he compares himself to his brother when it comes to his music skill, and he compares his abilities as a weapon to that of Giriko and Justin, both of whom can fight proficiently without a meister.

so, soul evans left his home and his name behind, ready to re-invent himself into the total antithesis of what he was going to be raised to be. which leads us into…

the image of ‘coolness’

soul’s beginning personality and appearance is the most well-known- a laid back, chill dude that worshiped the idea of “coolness”. during this stage, he was impulsive like Maka was, but for entirely different reasons: where maka would often act on emotion, soul would try to take shortcuts to get things done a lot quicker- this is shown in the first chapter when he tries to full-on charge through blair’s window instead of coming up with some sort of battle tactic. this is also in-line with the typical cool guy archetype- the guy that doesn’t take any shit from anyone, and who doesn’t think before he acts because only un-cool nerdasses do that. when an event occurs that makes Soul seem anything other than detached and in-charge, he clearly notes how “uncool” the situation is in an attempt to save face. noting soul’s typical personality during combat situations (i.e. advising maka to keep her guard up, seeing situations about five steps ahead, stressing the importance of plans), the moments of impulsive behavior he does have seems rather forced.

his past easily explains why he does this: he doesn’t want to be like his family. he isn’t soul evans, he’s soul eater. his insecurity caused by a rigid upbringing turns him to over-compensate by building this “cool guy” image, which is also the epitome of ‘Western Masculinity’.

here comes the speculation piece: while i don’t believe you need to justify trans headcanons with explanations to make them valid, soul’s narrative illustrates a very familiar one: a lot of trans kids who are first starting out often over-compensate to try to mold themselves into the cis-normative perceptions of gender in society. i definitely remember my first year of my transition, trying every which way to look and talk different, walk different, like different things, even changing the way i sat down: since i was trans, i felt that i had to over-compensate and make up for my transness. soul’s over-compensation when trying to be and act “cool” definitely parallels that.

as time goes on, Soul begins to come into his own, after the first Crona encounter gave him yet another pair of eyes to criticize him:

The Little Ogre

the circumstances in which he earned this pest serve as the catalyst for his change in personality. trying to protect Maka from Ragnarok after she’d refused to use soul to block the hits from the sword, he became gravely injured and infected with the Black Blood. it’s after this that his maturity begins to show, but isn’t quite as apparent until the Kishin Revival arc, and the Little Ogre is introduced.

through the series, the Little Ogre serves as an internal conflict for Soul, harping on him through all of his decisions: he’s too patient, he plans too often, he’s too scared, he’s too anxious, he holds back too much. all of this are feelings that soul knew he had, but never had them pointed out (likely because he never confided in anyone about these issues). this causes Soul to try to prove the Little Ogre wrong by either doing the opposite of what he’s being criticized for, or carry on what he’s doing and try to be successful while doing it. considering soul’s past and his lack of motivation due to being pushed too hard, it’s strange to see the Ogre’s insults actually motivate him: but, perhaps since this conflict is internal, and the Ogre is a facet of his mind, he sees the end goal as less of an unattainable one and more of something to work towards. one of the criticisms that really got to him, though, was that he was lacking in something really big:

the courage his meister had

(yikes that was a really bad segue)

it’s easy to see that maka and soul were created to be two sides of the same coin- opposite. soul’s eyes are red, while maka’s are green- they’re contrasting colors. soul’s soul (i never wanna use that phrase again) is blue, while maka’s is orange, which are, again, contrasting colors. their approaches to battle are vastly different, as well. maka acts on emotion, on what seems like the best option at that very second, rather than detailed observation. soul, being the weapon, observes the situation from every angle, keeping calm in most situations so that he can think a way out of any predicament: a great way to balance out his impulsive technician.

however, it’s his tendency to overthink that holds him back. the Ogre had commented that he makes decisions by way of elimination, not daring to act until the only logical path is an option. there aren’t many examples in which this messes up maka’s or his ability to fight: after all, maka is a very smart girl. but, soul’s inability to act affects him personally. he’s shown to have no direction in his life or conviction of his own, which is probably left-over effects from his life as an Evans. after all, if every moment of his life was planned, how was he ever to learn that he had a will of his own?

it was the courage maka had that motivated Soul to take some direction in his life. in fact, she’s the reason he does a lot of things. albeit indirectly and in no way to blame, maka was the reason he was infected with the Black Blood- he’d acted impulsively and out of emotion in order to fulfill his duty as a weapon: to protect. soul was a source of sage advice for maka, someone who would see the plan out to ensure their safety at all times. maka, in turn, was a source of courage and motivation for soul.

it’s this dynamic that pushes both of them forward, up until they finally achieve the goal of creating a death scythe:

while i could go on and talk about all of the facets of his character, from his strong friendship with blackstar, to his struggles in the book of eibon , this analysis is already mcfucking essay length lmao

if anyone requests a part two tho, i’ll most definitely do it

#long post #character analysis #soul eater #soul #headcanons #trans headcanons #this took me over an hour to write go me

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