#how we feeling essek nation

[myaoctopus]

“Come, dear.”

#cr spoilers #shadowgast #essek thelyss #caleb widowgast #critical role #mighty nein #mighty nein reunited #HOW ARE WE FEELING SHADOWGAST NATION #WE DID IT BOYS #everybody say thank you liam and matt

[aeor-is-for-reccing]

Fluff: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week, we have eighteen fluffy fics for your perusal under the cut. Get comfy and start reading, and don't forget to comment or leave kudos if you liked them!

first risk, first kiss by royalgreen (allyoop) (1179,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Canon divergence fic where Caleb makes a move on Essek during their time in Rosohna

Reccer says: Soft, sweet, fluffy, two people reaching out to each other

Creature Comforts by mousecookie (4645,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Essek arrives to assist a wounded Mighty Nein and snuggle a cat.

Reccer says: This fic feels like a warm hug. Genuinely soothes my soul every time.

Good Things live between a Breath and a Heartbeat by ThreeGremlinsInATrenchcoat (4564,Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Caleb and Essek are just vibing, having a good time and absolutely loving each other

Reccer says: Just very sweet and tender and domestic and lovely

How We Became The Mighty Nein by my_spiritual_weapon_is_a_lollipop (7495,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Caleb shows Essek the story of how the Mighty Nein came to be, while everyone cuddles and chimes in

Reccer says: I really love how everyone is written and how soft everyone is. This is my go to headcanon for how Essek gets to learn about the early days of the Mighty Nein

How To Say I Love You In Wizard by Wizardchester91 (1914,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

How Caleb and Essek express their love to each other

Reccer says: I love how soft it all is

Bei Mir Bist Du Schön by Defiler_Wyrm (1956,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Five times Essek didn’t understand, and one time he absolutely did, the little shit.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Dream a Little Dream of Me by CatgirlTheCrazy (2258,General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Essek has to go into hiding the night of his and Caleb's anniversary, and he casts Dream while Caleb's asleep so they can be together in Caleb's dreams.

Reccer says: A very sweet fic! It makes perfect sense that the wizards would find magical ways to express their love.

Upending Nations by toneofjoy (2323,Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Caleb and Essek babysit Luc and build a blanket fort

Reccer says: Very soft domestic fluff and wizard sass

Keys to the Castle by Anonymous (51812,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

After they explore Aeor together, Caleb asks Essek to move in. It takes Essek ... A while to figure out exactly what he means.

Reccer says: This is A+ pining and softness

Roots and Reclamation by firefright (2796,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Bren was a farmer's son once. So too is Caleb

Reccer says: It's extremely domestic and sweet, and I love how it explores what gardening means for Essek and Caleb

Troublemaker by SaltCore (1309,General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Caleb watches as Essek chats with a very troublemaking kitten

Reccer says: I just adore how Essek talks to the kitten, and how Caleb is just smitten as he watches

eleventh hour by mllekurtz (TheKnittingJedi) (3486,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Essek misunderstands the meaning of the Mighty Nein Goodbye Party and thinks he'll never see the others again; this may be his last chance to tell Caleb how he feels.

Reccer says: This is such a fun read, every time. Uniquely full of M9 shenanigans, and the interactions between Essek and Caleb at the party are so so sweet.

little labels (I love you) by royalgreen (allyoop) (409,General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Modern AU, Essek gets a label maker and labels the important things

Reccer says: Cute, adorable, fluffy and funny!

Organizing: Before and After by sansrecourse (1255,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Caleb and Essek learn how to share space

Reccer says: It's cute and funny and a nice little slice of life featuring married wizards

Thinner than a razor by MinnesotaBruja (2505,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

On a quiet night in Aeor, Essek gets a haircut from Yasha and the Holy Avenger. But that doesn't fully dissuade a growing itch he feels towards a certain wizard...

Reccer says: Wonderful, adorable pining and Essek and Yasha interactions

when headlong might save a life by stygius (5489,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

A morning-after fic about Essek making pancakes to surprise Caleb.

Reccer says: I like the characterization of both our wizards and how intimate the scene feels. And Caleb's cat in this is very cat-like!

a tell-tale mark of happiness by ariadne-mouse (848,General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Warnings

Post-canon, Caleb goes to one of the monthly M9 meet-ups after seeing Essek, and the M9 tease him about it.

Reccer says: it's very sweet

And then two recs for this last one: Times Being What They Are by Moonsp1r1t (10029,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Male Pregnancy, implied body dysphoria

Caleb and Essek decide to get married

Reccer 1 says: I liked it! Reccer 2 says: It is the absolute sweetest thing

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast.

Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we're going to revisit some current works in progress for you all to enjoy!

#cr fic recs #critical role #fan fiction rec list #critical role fan fiction #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #cr fic #fluff fics

[thematronofravens]

there was one (1) (singular) essek fan who shit-talked gilmore in the tags (who i firmly disagree with, i love both), and the essek haters screencapped it, ranted against it, and now are writing tags like 'cr2 girlies are delusional'. i like how they're acting like all essek fans are gilmore haters, when there were multiple essek hate tags in the last poll

no for real though…

like, y’all saying “i don’t care if gilmore wins but i want essek to lose”… get a fucking life lmaoooooo. i also keep seeing SO MANY comments that are like “how dare you call gilmore uninteresting”, when i’ve barely seen anyone in the essek nation say that. i feel like most of essek nation is at least still being respectful to gilmore and his fans, but i guess we don’t deserve that same respect.

also, i’ve watched both c1 and c2, and i loved gilmore, but for me, nothing compares to how essek fit into the m9 arc and his character growth through the campaign. dude was literally just supposed to be a small villain and look where he ended up…

anyways… if you can’t lift up your fav without trying to tear down the opponent then you should really reconsider why they’re your fav.

#i did not mean for this to be that long lmao #essek thelyss #i have no idea if this is discourse but just in case #cr discourse

[addcolortomysky]

ESSEK NATION HOW ARE WE FEELING TONIGHT

#Critical Role #Essek Thelyss #The Mighty Nein

[neinofthem]

AYE WE GOT THE KISS!!

ESSEK NATION HOW DO WE FEEL

[thevexedvixen]

WIP Wednesday!

my first one! WIP wednesday was one of the main reasons i decided to make this blog. i was hoping it would help motivate me to write more since it can take me quite a bit of time to make a simple lil fic

first WIP i’m posting is of another vampire!AU i have going because i love vampires and their stupid AUs for some reason i’m sorry. it’s a lil over 5k now and maybe halfway done? at the end it might be close to 10k and will still prolly be a oneshot might make it two chapters who knows? i have it all planned out so far so i know what’s gonna happen but the AU feels very specific... so i hope people like it  (・・；)

relationship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

.

.

The door behind him suddenly creaks.

Caleb turns around as the door swings open. He places his hand on his component pouch beneath his coat, hoping it wasn’t obvious. A goblin steps inside the room, but not one of the like Caleb has ever seen before. This one walks in wearing blue and gold robes and carrying some sort of clipboard in their hands. They look at Caleb in surprise. Then, they say something in a language Caleb doesn’t understand.

Caleb frowns and doesn’t say anything.

“Common, then, perhaps?” the goblin tries next.

“Ja, I speak Common,” Caleb replies

“Good, good,” the goblin says with a nod. “How are you feeling? You came in quite a state last night.”

“I feel fine,” Caleb answers stiffly. “Who are you? Where am I and how did I come to be here?”

“Oh, apologies, I am Starguide Uraya. And what might we call you?”

“Caleb Widogast.”

“Mr. Widogast, a pleasure,” Uraya says with a polite and toothy smile. “You are in Rosohna, inside the estate of the Shadowhand.”

“Rosohna?” Caleb repeats, trying not to gape.

“The capitol of Xhorhas, yes.”

That would explain the darkness at this time of day. Caleb has never been to Xhorhas before, but he had heard rumors of the magical darkness that blanketed portions of the nation.

“How did I get here, though?” Caleb is still confused. “I-I didn’t think I was that close to the border.”

“The Shadowhand brought you here,” Uraya explains.

.

.

#critical role #cr2 #critical role fanfiction #cr fan fic #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #vampire au #my works #my WIPs #WIP Wednesday

[venomveined]

Maybe I’m just projecting but I get so angry on Essek’s behalf sometimes. Like, imagine you’ve been living your life very much alone and very much with one goal in mind for a hundred odd years. And then these people sweep into your life, call you their friend, make you feel like you can open up for the first time in a century, encourage you to move away from this goal you’ve had for so long, and you know what? You decide to risk it, you take a chance on them, because you believe them when they say they will be there for you. And then??? They just aren’t. The next time you see them they’re on a boat headed god knows where, and you’re alone for *months.* you gave up so much and you got nothing in return. And maybe you think, actually, fuck this! And maybe you don’t. But either way you can’t deny that it hurts.

#anyway I’m nervous about their reunion #how we feeling essek nation #essek #essek thelyss #shadowgast #cr #critical role #cr liveblog #cr2e118 #cr2e119 #cr2e120 #op #my posts

[unfortunatelyevent]

ok but when we see animated essek this week THEN WHAT

#essek nation how we feeling #critical role #crit role recap #cr2 #the mighty nein #essek thelyss

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E123 (Feb. 2, 2021)

After last week’s thoroughly relaxing and brief episode, tonight’s guests are Sam Riegel and Liam O’Brien!

Brian, to Sam: “You look like Tim Curry moved to Nantucket to become a sommelier.”

How did Caleb and Veth approach the ally-ship with the Tombtakers? Sam: “I mean, we got some information, and I think we got a little closer to Lucien and knowing whether he has any of Mollymauk inside of him, which is I think the most important knowledge that we’re seeking right now. Is there someone to be saved inside there? We got glimpses, and we got a little hint that Mollymauk is maybe still in there? Maybe? And we got a little more insight into their plans, so that was useful.” Liam: “We know why we were having that fucking dream.” Sam: “But other than that, it was just a road trip with assholes.” Liam: “All our plans have been ripped in a new direction, and it’s just been improvisation.” Sam notes that it feels like we’re always about to rip into Caleb’s backstory, but haven’t yet followed that thread all the way through. Liam: “It’s partially frustrating, to be sure, but also I like the idea that-- his whole shit has been selfish, it’s been dealing with the trauma that he’s been through and not the greater world, and that’s been shifting somewhat.”

Does Caleb think the book was worth it, and is he still interested in reading more? Sam: “How do you ask Caleb not to read a book?” Liam: “Caleb has spent enough time with the Nein to know you shouldn’t put a hand on a hot stove. After what happened with the book, he knows it’s a terrible idea. But maybe. But it’s a really bad idea. But reserve judgment, but it’s a really terrible idea. I think that Caleb is very aware that mages and people like him very easily fall prey to their curiosity and it can lead to bad places. But there is still that amount of scientific endeavor where you think there is value in knowing and learning, and maybe we can ride that line. He was True Neutral at the start of the campaign, and maybe he’s Chaotic Good now, but part of him is hubris, even if it’s a little bit, still.”

What about Otis has drawn Veth’s focus? Sam: “I mean, he’s a little shit. She was curious about Otis because he’s a small like she is, and in talking to him, he seemed to be real creepy, but he was just creepy and distant and didn’t value his past or family or anything like that. She sees someone who’s like her, but so not like her, and maybe that scares her a little bit more.”

How does Caleb feel about Beau being on this ride with him? Liam: “The dream is another example of how Caleb had very narrow vision of the things he wanted to do. It used to seem so massive to him, but now... To have Beauregard involved feels right. If anyone in the group is going to stop him from grabbing something he shouldn’t, it is probably Beauregard. She’ll punch him in the fucking face to stop him, which I think he needs, to a certain extent. They’re two different kinds of nerds, and I kind of like that, that this group of nine philosophers, they’ve reached out and somehow grabbed the two nerds in the party.”

How do Caleb and Veth see the Somnovum? Sam: “I mean, they seem real bad. Anything that’s a quorum of powerful entities heading towards your planet to unleash an energy of any kind, typically bad? I assume they’re bad, or at least the Tombtakers wish them to do ill.” Liam: “I think they want the kind of peace that comes from snapping your fingers and turning people to dust. Caleb sees them as a cautionary tale; they’re the worst-case scenario for arcane inquisitiveness.” He sees Allura Vysoren as the antidote to that.

Why the staunch refusal to use Halfling Luck? Sam: “I don’t like Luck! I just don’t like Luck. I think it’s cheap, I think it’s a cheat, I think it’s stupid. It just feels like a do-over.” Liam: “I am your antithesis! If I ever voice a halfling, I am going to hammer that feature!” Sam: “What I love about D&D is that you don’t know what’s going to happen. If you roll bad, okay, that’s it. If you roll well, it makes the success more enjoyable to know that it’s a pure success and don’t one where you’re like well actually... it’s so stupid. If someone was about to die, I would probably use the fuckin’ Luck feature. Well. It depends who. If it was Travis, yeah, no, he’s fucked, sorry.”

Liam drops that he’s picked Sam’s character class and race again for a hypothetical campaign three. Sam: “It’s not what I was thinking for future characters, but I’m excited to explore.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Mollymauk by KatofValkyrie!

What was it like to bring the Tombtakers into the tower? Liam: “It is complicated, because he does not like him. Lucien’s just a fucking dick. But Caleb also knows that Molly’s in there somewhere. That tower’s only for the M9, and Lucien’s not in the M9. Their situation with these people is shitty, it’s terrible. Caleb doesn’t feel like they have the upper hand. He doesn’t like that they’re even going on this journey per se, because life is bigger than his bullshit. He feels like they’ve been losing over and over again, so it was a gamble to try to get on equal footing.

What spurred Veth into making sure she and Yasha have some one-on-one time? Sam: “Yasha hasn’t been getting a lot of moments to shine. Now that she’s back, I just got the impression that Yasha feels out of place sometimes, or timid, or unsure of herself. When Veth was Nott, Nott certainly had her share of those moments. I think she sees a kindred spirit and wants to make sure that she’s been giving all the opportunity she can to flourish and thrive. Dani, you’re just laughing at my mustache, aren’t you?” Dani: “Yes, that’s the only thing I’m laughing at through this whole bullshit.” Sam denies all knowledge of trolling, but eventually admits, on the topic of Yasha and Beau getting together: “They’ve made me wait this long... I’m going to make them wait a little bit longer!”

What was it like to show his friends the upper floors? Liam: “I kinda expected somebody to sneak up there before that. That being part of the tower is not even a conscious choice of his, it just is. The reason Caduceus has creeped Caleb out for a long time is because he talks about how-- Caduceus is a really kind person and wants Caleb to let go of the past. And in a really simplistic way, turn that frown upside-down. And that’s just not who Caleb is, and it’s not who everybody is. There is something to be said for trying to stay open and positivity, but thinking you can shut out the past, especially a traumatic one, is just not true. When things happen to us, we carry them. But to candy-coat it and say, ah, I’m free, or everything is good, or I’ve turned the corner... life is way messier than that. It’s not flipping a switch, it’s not bad-to-good, it is such a work in progress. Even when you make strides and start to get to a better place, you can backslide a lot. So the tower is who he is, and the tower is 7/9ths love for his friends, and 1/9th hope, but there’s still a percentage of him that carries everything from the past, and knows that he should, and knows that he should not go back to where he was. And the way to do that is not to say everything is rainbows, but to remember it. The tower is just like an extension of who he is. He’s never going to forget the past, and he’s never going to be like, I’m good, or I’ve turned a corner. He should remember the past, and he should do better, always.”

Does Veth still believe it’s possible to get Molly back? Sam: “Well, she was a person trapped in another body for many years, so has some experience there, and definitely believes that the spirit and soul of Molly is in there and just needs to be unlocked somehow.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot by HarpySN!

How are Caleb and Veth dealing with their guilt and fear about being in the middle of this? Sam: “It definitely was a deep conversation that might have repercussions going forward. The problem with all of what we’re doing now is that we don’t have time to deal with our petty problems anymore. It’s all high tension all the time!” Liam: “It’s true; they’re not in control of their situation at all anymore.” Sam: “It’s good to have these check-ins, but it’s not like we can do anything about them. We’re reactive right now.” Liam: “He’s not happy with where they are, but they wouldn’t even be this far if the goblin hadn’t pulled him out of the mud. So part of it is, you saved me from where I was and got me on my feet again, and now it’s disconcerting to see it all just get knocked sideways by something he never could’ve predicted. I think Caleb felt nostalgic for when things were simpler, in a way, for them, when we’re both troubled drifters.”

What was it like to see Gelidon’s return? Liam: “I am the least superstitious person at the table. Ashley’s dice suck.” Sam: “It was fun fighting a dragon!” Liam: “Two massive battles in one episode, neither of which came away with a victory. I guess surviving is a victory.” Sam: “I’d forgotten about the dragon, honestly.” Liam: “I loved it. I was so upset at the idea that we were going to stealth and not get into it.”Sam: “Mercer doesn’t keep a live dragon around and not do something with it. That dragon’s coming back.”

How do Caleb and Veth feel about going to see Essek? Sam: “He can be very helpful, I believe, but as Sam Riegel, a player of D&D, I’m super suspicious. What the fuck is Essek doing up there, so close, now? I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. And I can throw him pretty far because he floats.” Liam: “I 100% agree with you. I do not understand what Essek could bring to what we are going through. I know the audience loves him, I love him too. He’s a really cool character. But he’s fucking toxic. He out of curiosity caused a war between two nations. And Caleb has been changed for the good by the M9 from months of travel with them. Essek has had none of that. Caleb has changed for the good, but not because of people like Essek. Essek is where Caleb came from. We kept the lid on the pot during the whole treaty at sea and it almost all went fucking sideways, and only because we pressed him into a corner. I hope that guy finds some sort of balance and peace for himself, but I do not see how his input here would be helpful. There’s other heavy hitters that I would try to pull in.”

Liam notes that the Cloven Crystal is in the Bag of Holding. Sam: “Do I have Fluffernutter, or is Fluffernutter gone?” Liam: “Nope. 300 pounds of fireworks? Gone. A dead mage, a threshold crest, and fireworks.” Dani: “Your basic essentials.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

[sundayswiththeilluminati]

The unplanned fourth part to my apparently-a-series on Essek Thelyss in the context of real-world espionage (parts 1, 2, and 3), today we look at an aspect of his story that doesn’t always apply in a D&D world: how do you prosecute espionage? 

Psych! That’s not the real question. The real question is: do you prosecute espionage? The answer is a) not as obvious as it might seem; and b) going to differ between D&D and the real world, because D&D governments are storytelling tools and IRL governments are...not.

The benefits of prosecuting espionage are obvious: the interests of justice are served, the person responsible can be punished appropriately and in accordance with the law, the full extent of their crimes are revealed (including potentially exonerating other suspects), counterintelligence gets to chalk up a win, and other people thinking about committing espionage themselves are hopefully discouraged. But there are a surprising number of arguments in the “against” column.

Some agencies that identify enemy assets want to leave them in place for their own purposes. For about 20 years during the Cold War CIA reserved the right to just plain not tell the Department of Justice if they had proof someone was engaged in espionage because they wanted the opportunity to turn them as double agents, feed them misinformation, etc. rather than outing and punishing them (President Gerald Ford ended this arrangement by executive order in 1976). This isn’t necessarily a good idea IRL, but it forms the bread and butter of RPG espionage storylines and is definitely something to think about in a D&D context.

In the real world, ideally someone can only be found guilty of a crime and punished accordingly after a trial, and an agency often finds itself with sufficient evidence to doubt a person’s trustworthiness but not enough hard proof to take to court. In those cases agencies may decide to leave that person in place but cut off their access to classified info. Ironically, sometimes this means promoting them - moving the person into a higher-ranking job in a different area that just so happens not to deal in secrets. Sometimes the asset realizes they’re close to being rumbled and goes along with the effort, maybe taking retirement early or changing jobs before they can be pushed, and the whole matter will quietly lapse without anything so formal as a trial. Sometimes someone makes a mistake and sidelines a loyal, competent employee. That’s a judgement call.

In the real world, ideally someone can only be found guilty of a crime and punished accordingly after an open trial. Given how severe the punishments are for espionage, civilized countries do try to stick to that even though holding such a trial carries risks. Providing proof that someone stole secrets generally requires talking about said secrets, which means revealing classified info in court, which may negate trying to keep the information secret in the first place. They may also not want to reveal in court how they figured out that person was a spy, especially if it was a double agent or cryptographic source that fingered them. In D&D-land where monarchs are common and still wield judicial power, fantasy rulers may hand down whatever punishment they please based on whatever evidence they (or the DM) will accept, so this isn’t as much of a concern.

Even a D&D monarchy that doesn’t have to worry about revealing secrets in court might think twice before publicly punishing a high-ranking spy, though, because the only thing more embarrassing than failing to convict a major spy is succeeding. A government having to admit that its people were compromised, especially high-ranking people, is a body-blow to its standing both at home and abroad. It damages trust in the government, makes the public feel unsafe, and makes allies hesitant to share information lest their secrets be leaked as well. Lower-ranking government employees may think, “My boss is selling secrets, why not me too?” or “Why bother to follow security protocol when some mole will give it all away?” Every decision and contribution made by the asset becomes retroactively suspect, even those that had nothing to do with whatever secrets they leaked. The foreign nation to whom they passed information inevitably gets drawn in as well, negatively affecting those relations. And of course everyone involved looks very, very bad.

All of which leads me to say I think there’s a chance - maybe not a good chance, but a chance - that Essek could privately confess the affair to the Bright Queen without major public repercussions. Leylas Kryn could simply declare him a traitor and order his public execution without justifying herself, but it would raise a lot of questions and none of the answers would help her or the ruling dens; Den Thelyss allowing Den Kryn to unilaterally execute a high-profile member - a child of the umavi - without explanation would stoke ferocious rumors about what Essek might have done and cast a major shadow over the entire den. But publicly declaring what Essek had done also doesn’t do the Dynasty any favors. It makes everyone involved look very bad - how could they miss a spy at the highest level? so close to the Bright Queen herself?? who can be trusted??? - especially Den Thelyss, which might lose its place among the ruling three as a result. Publicly outing such a high-ranking Kryn official as compromised might set off the Dynasty equivalent of a Red Scare, too, since the Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount mentions the constant and well-justified Dynasty fear of agents sent by Lolth to destabilize the Kryn out of sheer spite that they got away from her.

By the time Campaign 2 ended the latest clash between Empire and Dynasty had been settled and neither side seemed to want to stir it up again right away. The fact that both stolen beacons have been returned also bolsters the case for letting the matter lie. A confession from Essek clears up remaining doubt on the Bright Queen’s end - while he doesn’t know every Empire agent in the Dynasty, he can tell her exactly how the beacons were stolen and who else was involved, probably clearing the names of many currently under suspicion. Essek would have to resign as Shadowhand, of course, and leave the Dynasty (at least for a couple centuries), but he never seemed interested in being Shadowhand and he wants to go exploring anyway. Den Thelyss definitely wants the whole affair swept under the rug and would go along with whatever story made that happen. Other than Verin I don’t get the impression many people would miss Essek except as a lost opportunity. I hope they’d give him long enough before leaving Rosohna to pack up his cool leyline-weathervane though. He could totally mount that on Yussa’s tower. Or Allura’s!

And that concludes this particular train of thought re: Essek Thelyss in the context of IRL spies and espionage. Again, all of this is only as relevant to the campaign as the players decide it is, so don’t go giving people crap for being “unrealistic” about their versions of how the beacon trade went down. Frankly the last thing you should want here is realism, because “realistic” espionage is a callous world of deception, manipulation, and general human pettiness with no sense of narrative flow.

None of what I’ve talked about is an excuse for Essek’s actions. But it is a reason. It’s why and how a person entrusted with precious national assets could get into a headspace where it seems reasonable, even necessary, to trade them away to foreign enemies. It’s how a person of otherwise decent character & beliefs can end up committing terrible crimes. It’s why that person might sincerely regret what they’ve done, and not just because they fear punishment. The Warmind Rasputin paraphrases Octavia E. Butler saying, “Misdirected by accident or intent, intelligence can foster its own ecstasies of growth and decay.” In other words: sometimes you get too far into your own head. Without an anchor to reality, without perspective, your own mind gets twisted up. Sometimes you just need a friend (or seven) to grab your arm and say, “Breathe.”

(This accidentally turned into a series on Essek & IRL espionage: Parts 1, 2, 3, 4)

#Critical Role #Critical Role spoilers #not really but just to be safe #Essek Thelyss #CR meta #hey let's talk about Cold War espionage! #trufax #And That's What I Think About That. #words words words #I hope you like words #this poor foolish drow #bless this dumbass #it's been a long pandemic

[larsisfrommars]

War Crimes: Essek Thelyss and The Moral Grey of Campaign 2

I will preface this with the following; I love Essek, and I think he’s character arc is brilliant and perfect for the themes of Campaign 2. I just want to lay everything bare and explain exactly what Essek’s crimes are, while also taking into account the Dynasty and Empire’s actions and the Mighty Nein’s parallel character development.

(Source on UN War Crimes Definition, Source on Geneva Convention Apllications)

Essek committed Treason and Heresy by giving the Beacon to Ludinus Da’leth and Trent Ikithon, who are much older, more ruthless, far less compassionate war criminals than Essek would eventually become. The crime everyone talks about is technically not even a war crime, but he’s still a war criminal.

All of the War Crimes Essek committed were all part of his job as Shadowhand, mostly given to him by the Kryn Dynasty. The Dwendalian Empire has been known to commit the same atrocities on a similar if not grander scale. Essek’s war crimes are as follows:

Torture of prisoners of war, essentially his main job on a indirect/bureaucratic level as Shadowhand of Den Theyless, a position given to him by his government.

Neglect of prisoners of war, again part of his Shadowhand job, I don’t know how involved he was with Yeza’s case. I got the impression he didn’t have a super direct hand otherwise I feel like Yeza would’ve had much more of an issue with being around Essek in the latter half of the series.

Killing of prisoners of war, Essek dealing the final killing blow after the Volstrucker the Dynasty caught tried to kill Caleb.

All of Essek’s war crimes were done under order of the Kryn Dynasty, it was literally his job. We don’t even know how far into the hierarchy he was in that regard, but considering his age (barely an adult by Elven standards), and the fact he’s Unconsecuted, probably not all that high. He betrayed them for selfish desires to The Empire, which was also, in turn, commiting war crimes, the war crimes of both The Kryn Dynasty and Dwendalian Empire (off the top of my head, I’m sure there are plenty more):

Kryn Dynasty: Taking Hostages: Kidnapping Empire teenagers who had accidentally incarnated consecuted souls from the Beacon the Empire already had.

Kryn Dynasty: Attacking Civilian Population/Overkill: The siege on Felderwin with the giant worms just to abduct Yeza. Also abducting Yeza debatably falls under the previous bullet point I made.

Dwendalian Empire: Purposefully Desecration/Destruction of Religious places/artifacts: Stealing, trading in, and experimenting on Luxon Beacons, which are at the core of the Kryn Dynasty’s central religion.

*Dwendalian Empire: I honestly don’t know where the Volstrucker Program falls on the war crimes scale, but regardless it’s still a gross “human” rights violation. I also wouldn’t for a second be surprised if the Cerberus Assembly experimented on Kryn prisoners but I can’t be sure as I haven’t read the sourcebook on Wildemount.

The thing about war crimes is that nations fighting each other commit them ALL the time and are very hard to punish. Especially when the countries are powerful. The Geneva Conventions are essentially “hey don’t do that that’s bad” and then, unfortunately, everyone doing “that” any way with very limited repurcussions. Essek was a cog in a war crime machine acting in his own self interest. The war was already happening, there were discussions of skirmishes and increasing guard at Bladegarden in episode FIVE, the Kryn kidnapping children not long after. The war was already happening and going to get worse, Essek (and The Assembly) just stepped on the gas.

People also seem to forget The Mighty Nein aren’t saints either and weren’t supposed to be. This is no judgement on the Mighty Nein, and let’s face it, everything turned out fine in the long run. However:

Fjord: Almost released Uka’toa, a terrifying eldritch god, and stopped because his personal desires were no longer involved and he didn’t want to keep risking his friends lives. Then there was that whole Rangers thing in Aeor which is a lot more on the lighter side of grey than releasing an Eldritch god but still a bit dubious.

Caleb: It’s been confirmed repeatedly that he would have kept the Beacon if it weren’t for the fact he wanted to save his friends. It’s also confirmed he was Lawful Evil on the alignment chart before meeting the M9.

Nott/Veth: Was 100% willing to restart the war and undo everything the M9 worked for to get her body (and by extension, family) back from Isharnai. She didn’t have to though because her friends had her back. Also she killed a baby manticore but again that’s kinda morally complex, but still unquestionably fucked up.

Jester: Desecrated a temple of Bahamut, almost got tied up in some really messed up cult shit with Artagan if her friends hadn’t given her and Arty different options and genuine dissent while still trying to fix their problem.

I’d be a rich man if I had a nickel the number of times the Mighty Nein used completely unnecessary brutality against (sometimes innocent) NPCs: the dwarf girl from Molly’s circus, the two dwarf teens from Uthadurn, the axe head guy, the goblin shopkeep, the entire bloodbath that was trying to get anti scrying necklaces.

The thing that separates The Mighty Nein from Essek is how they had friends to keep them from making or being manipulated into all these horrific and selfish mistakes. The only two members of the Mighty Nein that didn’t do anything that might’ve been considered evil in different campaign were Caduceus and Molly (and to a lesser extent, surprisingly, Beauregard!). The Mighty Nein made Essek their friend, and he changed because of it!

All I can think of is why Taliesin made Caduceus, and what Caduceus felt his purpose was in the Mighty Nein. He encouraged their goodness, he nurtured it in all of them, they nurtured it in each other, and became good! They weren’t always good, but they became good, and are getting better all the time! That’s the special power that The Mighty Nein has that Vox Machina lacked. “There is a special flavor of goodness that comes from people who’ve faced such temptation”. The Mighty Nein saved each other, and Essek, and Molly (literally) from themselves.

The thing that separates Essek, the thing that saved him, from becoming a completely irredeemable monster like Trent Ikithon or Ludinus Da’lelth is that he had his actions were challenged by people who cared about him. He is making an effort to make up for the damage he has done to his world through the empathy the Mighty Nein fostered in him. Unlike Trent he is capable of both empathy and change. “Pain doesn’t make people, it’s love that saves them. The pain is inconsequential.” Essek wasn’t born evil, none of them were, we can only speculate Essek’s story but, it takes pain and trauma to be what Essek was and what The Mighty Nein started as.

So, on the note of love saving people, and the pain being inconsequential. Essek would have learned absolutely NOTHING from being put in prison or dying for his actions. That sort of punishment and pain would not have changed him for the better, if he escaped the consequences of his deeds without the M9’s influence he probably would’ve continued to be, or become even more selfish and evil. But he didn’t, because the Mighty Nein caught him first, his punishment was their love, he was changed by their disappointment, and forgiveness of him. The beginning of his repetance starts with their friendship. It’s far from over, he’s got plenty of blood on his hands, but helping to save the world is a good start.

#long post #meta #cr meta #critical role #campaign 2 #essek thelyss #shadowhand essek #the mighty nine #war crimes #redemption #moral ambiguity #mighty nein

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker #3, episode 133

Greetings and salutations to the exercise I have set upon myself, which is to say deciding the relative mental stability of Wizard NPCs who have been subjected to the Mighty Nein. My intent is to do this at least until Trent Ikithon has fucked off this mortal coil and/or been thoroughly deposed and humiliated.

As a reminder Caleb Widogast is a member of the Mighty Nein and a PC and therefore excluded from these calculations. Wizards who haven’t been seen or heard from lately and about whom I don’t have anything funny to say about will not get a full blurb, but as they re-enter the main narrative so will they re-enter the list. Currently, this is the Essek Thelyss Show ft. Trent and the Volstruckers with guest appearances by Yussa and Allura.

Currently sidelined: Oremid Hass, Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk (I am going to reuse this stupid joke name for him until it doesn’t make me laugh at my own joke anymore, which will probably be never), Pumat Sol (who I hope is having a great day), Ludinus Da’leth (who I hope is not but in true laissez-faire rat bastard form, probably is).

Vess D wasn’t there/morning time in Eiselcross or at her job or anywhere/they snuck in and took her life/and we noticed that her spellbook’s gone and that she’s covered in red eyes.

Trent Ikithon: Okay with the caveat that it’s been a very long time since I saw the entire movie and our only update is Artagan taking a moment from his busy schedule of traveling the globe in the direction of the sun such that he is always technically day-drinking to tell Jester that Trent’s biding his time, I’m getting real Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Frollo vibes. Except instead of Catholicism and lust, it’s nationalism and an unquenchable thirst for power and control, and also he does not feel guilty in the slightest. He’s not at Hellfire levels yet but he will get there and I am slightly disappointed that due to the constraints of a D&D game we do not get an even more fucked up version of the song Hellfire.

Conclusion: 6/10. Slowly stepping it up. Also here’s the great thing: while we know Caleb is going to come after him next, he doesn’t, and the Nein didn’t tell any world governments about the threat of the city unless you count the Tal’Dorei Council via Allura, which means for all intents and purposes they just disappeared into Eiselcross...except Trent also knows Caleb disappeared for five or six years once before and reports of his death were greatly exaggerated. If Caleb weren’t dedicated to the noble goal of ending the Volstrucker program ASAP, he could just chill for a year or so and then pull a really stellar Surprise Bitch move and maybe just get Trent’s heart to explode.

Essek Thelyss: He got a good night’s trance and weird physical affection from a giant ape Caleb and he was healed by Caduceus and he had a serious conversation with the first true peer and one of the first friends he’s ever known about how high-level wizardry may not necessarily corrupt absolutely. And, of course, soup. I mean they are about to head into a terrible battle but he’s at full health and spells and he’s a valued member of the team and his friends love him SO MUCH.

Conclusion: 5/10. There is a distinction between a breakdown and being in a very high pressure situation, and he got some nice moments of respite this week. With that said do I think that post-battle, should he survive (HE BETTER) a whole lot of anxiety will come crashing back? Yeah.

Astrid Beck: With Trent in a holding pattern he’s got to be turning up the mind games on her; I have to imagine he suspects and then she suspects that he suspects and it’s a whole mess, but I’ve said that already. But also just like, in general, I think her speech to Caleb back when he first contacted her was genuine in many ways and specifically I think she was likely to have been Trent’s New Golden Child and then suddenly that got yanked out from under her for still more mind games; I think her difference in demeanor between that meeting and the dinner was partially Trent being present, but partially her having realized in the interim that she will likely never have anything to show for two decades of pain and doing terrible things and nonstop bullshit.

Conclusion: still keeping her at 8/10 until further notice but like. Astrid’s having a bad time.

Um actually Eadwulf is the monster? The hero’s name is Grendel: Okay meanwhile here’s my totally unsupported Eadwulf headcanon of this week which is that he meanwhile always knew he was not the favorite and probably never would be and while I doubt he ever had particularly noble goals I would not be surprised if he had an exit strategy. Personally I hope he tries card-counting in that casino in Ank’harel and gets kicked out posthaste and then tries being a wizard/some kind of divine caster multiclass in Vasselheim and also gets kicked out but finally becomes like an old-school hermit figure somewhere in the woods of Issylra and Campaign 3′s party runs into him.

Conclusion: also keeping him at 4/10 until further notice.

Allura Vyesoren: It’s time to acknowledge that this episode covered a span of like...8 hours? And presuming the Nein are sort of trying to keep a normal sleep schedule, maybe, and using a comparison of Eiselcross being at a comparable time zone to say, Nicodranas, and it’s 5 hours into the night for them, and we know that around mid-day for Nicodranas was early morning for Emon...honestly she’s probably relaxing with a glass of wine. Unless Wensforth contacted her.

Conclusion: I’m going to let Allura have a good day. She’s at 2/10 because the threat of Aeor will be in the back of her mind but also she’s seen a bunch of idiots kill dragons and Vecna and they didn’t even have a wizard.

Yussa Errenis: Experiencing a great disturbance in the Astral Sea, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and then just like, kept doing that.

Conclusion: I decided to really go all out last week on the infinity jokes and left myself nothing to go on, huh. Anyway this breakdown goes to 11 (out of 10).

#me looking at the pitiful handful of non-STEM courses I took in college: is this a potential source of referential internet jokes? #critical role #critical role spoilers #wizard breakdown tracker #your musical references were no body no crime by Taylor Swift ft. Haim and obviously Hellfire from The Hunchback of Notre Dame #which is a weird pairing tbh

[night-filled-mountain]

Captivity and Escape in Critical Role

So this post has been sitting in my drafts for about half a year. It’s about a persistent theme I noticed throughout campaign 2, which I’m sure others have noticed and written about before, but parallels and recurring themes have always been my Thing, and I couldn’t let it go. And with last week’s episode, and the campaign finale airing tonight, and the dominance of this theme being more glaringly obvious than ever, I thought I’d just give myself a treat and finish up a giant meta post. For old times’ sake.

So, just for the heck of it, here’s an exhaustive exploration of a single through-line of campaign 2 since the very beginning: captivity, and escaping or being freed from it.

Let’s start by taking a quick look at everyone’s backstories, the things that happened to them before the campaign even started, and how they were ultimately resolved. 

FJORD: Entered unknowingly and unwillingly into a pact with Uk’otoa, which bound him to perform services he never agreed to in exchange for powers he never asked for. Fjord did not know how he got into this pact or how to get out of it. He makes his escape when he pitches his sword into a lava river and pledges himself to the Wildmother.

JESTER: Spent the majority of her life “locked in her room” (or at least hidden from sight) until the consequences of one of her pranks forcibly liberated her into the wider world. While Jester loves her mother dearly and thinks of her long “captivity” as being for her own protection, its negative effects on her--loneliness, insecurity, a lack of worldly experience and social awareness--were still apparent, and she spends much of the campaign working through them.

BEAU: Her parents had her kidnapped by monks. It could be argued that even before the kidnapping, she was a prisoner to her father’s “over-protective” tendencies and her parents’ expectations when it came to her career, behavior, gender role, etc. But most significantly, she was very much kidnapped by monks, and made her escape from the Cobalt Soul shortly before we met her.

CALEB: Where to start? First he suffered coercion and abuse at the hands of Trent (a form of captivity); then he was made to torture and execute prisoners; then he spent eleven years literally imprisoned in an asylum, and had to kill and steal in order to escape; and four and a half years later, he met Nott when they were both thrown in jail (and had to engineer their own escape once again). Caleb’s ordeals ultimately made him a prisoner of his own guilt and fear, and escaping that prison has been the heart of his storyline.

VETH/NOTT: Besides the aforementioned stint in jail, the catalyst for her entire adventuring career was being captured by goblins along with her family--and then, after engineering the escape of her husband and son, being imprisoned in the wrong body (and subsequently enslaved!). The desire to escape from this second imprisonment was her driving motivation through much of the campaign. With Caleb’s help (and Essek’s, and Jester’s), she ultimately succeeds.

MOLLY: His first memory was of clawing his way out of a grave, which is just about as extreme a form of captivity and escape as you can get. More subtly, he was also a prisoner to the expectations placed on his body--to the life that body once lived, which he could not remember and refused to claim. Arguably (and tragically), his escape from this particular prison is his own death...until Cree resurrects Lucien, Mollymauk fragment and all. Then he presumably becomes a prisoner much like Yasha was, subsumed body and soul by a mind and a will that are not his own. Until last week.

... (incoherent sobbing)

Until last week.

YASHA: She was a prisoner to her clan’s laws and expectations. Her brief attempt to escape this prison through a forbidden marriage ended tragically, and then she was forced to make a second, literal escape (fleeing into the desert)--only to be (presumably) possessed by Obann, imprisoned inside her own mind, and forced to do his bidding until the Storm Lord liberated her once again.

CADUCEUS: When the gang first meet him, he’s literally a prisoner of his own fear (and/or inertia)--though his whole family has left the Blooming Grove, he’s been too afraid or hesitant to brave the corruption of the Savalirwood without companionship, and spent years isolated in the family temple as a result. The Mighty Nein (or rather, Caleb, Nott, Beau, Keg, and Nila) initiate his escape.

***

And that’s just the backstories! Now let’s take a look at each of the places the Mighty Nein have visited since they came together, and the story arcs therein.

***

TROSTENWALD - CARNIVAL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the (future) Mighty Nein and the other carnies from jail or house arrest. (Much later, the M9 come back to pay Gustav’s debt and liberate him as well.) And remember that Beau is especially sympathetic to Toya’s predicament because she, too, was once a young girl held somewhere against her will.

ALFIELD - GNOLL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the citizens of Alfield who have been kidnapped by gnolls to feed to their manticore leader (and to kill off the gnolls and manticore to keep it from happening again).

ZADASH: The Mighty Nein’s first undertaking in Zadash is to kill off the giant spiders in the sewer. In the process, they free a halfling imprisoned in a spiderweb, which leads them to the Gentleman and all his future quests.

Aside from that, their biggest job in Zadash this time around is the High Richter heist--which, yes, is a mercenary/political job that goes terribly wrong, but why does it go terribly wrong? Because Ulog, the M9′s NPC ally at the time, is so furious over his wife being wrongfully imprisoned by the High Richter that he impulsively blows up both her and himself. And arguably the most poignant moment in the heist’s aftermath is Caleb speaking to the next High Richter, Dolan, and ensuring that Ulog’s wife will be freed.

Also, let’s not forget the drow the M9 meet in the sewer. The one they capture, interrogate, and ultimately...let go. Yes, he’s killed shortly afterward and his beacon falls into their hands, but I think it’s very important to remember that the decision they make, when holding a captive terrorist from an “enemy” nation, is to return his stolen artifact to him and let him walk away free.

LABENDA SWAMP/BERLEBEN: The most memorable events during this interlude are: (1.) The M9 literally freeing Kiri from the swamp, where she is stuck in the mud and at the mercy of crocodiles, and (2.) Bowlgate, a.k.a. Caleb and Beau’s tense confrontation over what to do with Calianna, which is once again fueled on Beau’s side by her sympathy for a young woman held against her will. (Caleb proposes that Cali spend the night with the M9, which she did not intend, so they can use spells to determine her truthfulness the next day.)

HUPPERDOOK: This one’s obvious: The M9 fight a deadly automaton to free two gnomes from prison and reunite them with their children (largely to prevent said children from being taken to an orphanage against their will).

GLORY RUN ROAD/SHADYCREEK RUN - IRON SHEPHERDS ARC: ...Even more obvious. The sole goal of the remaining M9 members (and Nila) throughout this arc is to free their friends from slavery. They end up slaughtering all the slavers and freeing several other captives as well.

LUSIDIAN OCEAN - PIRATE ARC: Here’s where things get really interesting. Because this whole arc is also about captivity and freedom, isn’t it?

It’s about whether or not to free a little old captive named Uk’otoa!

I haven’t given nearly enough thought to how this arc fits in with all the others thematically, considering its central lesson is that freeing this particular captive would be a very bad thing. I do think it’s significant that:

(1.) The beginning of this arc, which leaves the whole party feeling so bad and icky, involves them quite inadvertently taking a captive of their own--and one whom they don’t treat very well. (And still don’t, for that matter...poor Marius.)

(2.) Soon after that incident, the M9 are themselves effectively taken captive by Avantika and her crew. This situation doesn’t last nearly as long as many audience members (and quite possibly Matt, and quite possibly the players themselves!) thought it would, because they panic on Darktow, go all Wall of Fire, and free themselves in a huge, climactic, desperate battle. The Mighty Nein do not take well to captivity.

Anyhow, they follow all this up with...

FELDERWIN/XHORHAS - YEZA ARC: ...another very straightforward quest to free a captive. Not only is this arc all about rescuing Yeza from a Xhorhasian dungeon, but after Caleb returns the beacon, after the Bright Queen of Xhorhas offers the Mighty Nein anything they want...all they ask her for is to let them go.

BAZZOXAN & BEYOND - OBANN ARC: ...By now, you know where I’m going with this, right? The entire arc is about freeing Yasha from Obann, who has her imprisoned inside her own body, inside her own mind. There’s a reason That Moment in the cathedral hit so hard, right? “And as you close your eyes, you see yourself breaking the shackles. You see the influence no longer holding any sway over your soul. There's nothing but the storm, vengeance, and hope.”

(Bonus: In the middle of the above arc, we get the HAPPY FUN BALL - RESCUING YUSSA ARC, which, once again, is devoted to freeing a captive.)

KAMORDAH/CYRIOS MOUNTAINS - ISHARNAI ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Nott from the body in which she was imprisoned. Beau also has a bit of a freedom arc here: confronting the parents who imprisoned her figuratively and literally, turning her back on them (possibly for good), and then confronting a major source of the expectations and superstitions they shackled her with: Isharnai, who is neutralized by Jester’s cupcake.

THE MENAGERIE - CLAY ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Caduceus’s family, who are imprisoned in perhaps the most literal way possible, being turned to stone. (The M9 also manage to liberate the Stone family while they’re at it.)

RUMBLECUSP - TRAVELER CON: Two great liberations take place here. First, all the residents of the Village of Vo are freed from Vokodo’s influence, their memories restored, their blind devotion dispelled, able once again to choose the course of their own lives. Second, the followers of the Traveler are freed from the deception he’s imposed on them, the cult he’s roped them into. Thanks to the Moonweaver’s interference, they, too, are free to make informed decisions. And I think we can also safely say that Artagan is freed from them, from the false “god” role he managed to box himself into, and he’s happier for it.

EISELCROSS - SOMNOVEM ARC: ...And this is it, folks. This is why I decided to finish this post today. Because I was openly not feeling the Eiselcross arc as an endgame. The hard slog through the elements just wasn’t doing it for me, or the frequent combat, or the increasingly complex lore, or the traditionally heroic quest to save the world from being swallowed by a monstrous city.

...Until last week. Until Lucien’s defeat. And Molly’s oh-so-improbable resurrection.

When I heard all the voices of the Somnovem whispering “Thank you” as their individual souls were freed from the Lovecraftian hivemind...when I heard Jester sobbing that at least Molly’s soul wasn’t “trapped” inside a monstrous Lucien anymore...when Cad’s Divine Intervention succeeded, and Mollymauk Tealeaf opened his eyes--his two plain old natural eyes--unburdened by Lucien and his Somnovem eyes and all of his dark baggage for the first time--I was finally able to embrace this as the ending.

Because it’s not about saving the world. That’s just a bonus. It’s about saving a friend. Freeing a friend. Freeing captives, wherever they find them. Whether from Crown’s Guard, gnolls, and giant spiders, or from royal dungeons; whether from ruthless enemies or from their own families; whether from eldritch abominations or from the forces that chain their own minds.

In the end, the Mighty Nein--and the people whose lives they touch--belong to no one and nothing that they do not choose to belong to. They belong to themselves, to the people they most sincerely love, to the gods and causes they have chosen freely. And that has always, always been my favorite kind of story.

And I can’t wait for tonight.

#critical role #c2e140 #the mighty nein #i don't even know how to begin to tag this #fjord #jester lavorre #beauregard #caleb widogast #veth brenatto #mollymauk tealeaf #yasha nydoorin #caduceus clay #lucien #jester #beau #caleb #veth #mollymauk #molly #yasha #caduceus

[your-turn-to-role]

hnnnnng i have thoughts about essek's newfound want to time travel

like... it's been like a month or two in game since they last saw him? and back on that boat, essek did not regret a single one of his actions (other than hurting the m9), if you gave him the opportunity to do it again with the m9's support, he 100% would have

and i keep thinking about all the metas after 97 that were like, essek is just caleb but like a year behind, and that keeps getting more correct

granted, caleb regretted his action of killing his parents from the moment he did it, but up to that point he had absolutely no doubt he was doing the right thing, or at least the necessary thing, everything he did as a lawful evil 17 year old was incredibly justified in his mind

until it hurt people he cared about

and granted he had his 11 years of mental breakdown that essek didn't and we can argue whether that was all caleb or partially caleb partially feeblemind, but when he came out of it, the first thing his mind went to was time travel

and god that's such a wizard response. because like... when something world shattering happens, the normal response is to try to fix it, do anything to put things back the way they were, it's only because we usually can't do that that people learn to move on from their grief and regret, because otherwise it drags you down and keeps you trapped

but wizards? who's ever been one to tell them they can't do something. they've spent their life studying how to bend reality, and the skilled ones inevitably reach a point where they believe they can do things no one else can, that even if this has never been recorded possible, they'll be the first one to do it, because who else could? they trust completely in their own abilities to either know already how to make something happen, or to figure it out

so, it's almost a childish response, really, because they don't get past the initial "i have to make this back how it was before" to get to the "it's time to move on", because they get stuck on "i can make this how it was before"

and essek's just gotten to that point. he wasn't even feeling the guilt and regret when they first cornered him, not nearly to the extent he has been lately. 97 was an initial shock, now he's had a month or two to stew on it with very little communication from the nein, and the risk of being discovered getting closer and closer. he's gone from insisting the dynasty will never find out what he did, to "i know i am living on borrowed time". and every day that passes it eats at you

that was caleb, when we met him. alone, very few people on his side, a traitor to his nation, knowing if anyone found him he'd be dead, endlessly stuck thinking on his past actions and how badly he wants to go back and change them. essek was even the one who warned him against time travel, warned him that no one who's tried it has ever come back, but now he's in this situation, it's starting to look real tempting. and between him and caleb, how could they possibly fail?

what's interesting is caleb's grown to want that a lot less over time. liam's even said caleb's development went very differently to how he was expecting, he didn't think caleb would turn out like this, he thought a lot more evil and a lot more committed to the time travel plan. but as he's met the nein, travelled with them, seen the world through their eyes, found a family that genuinely loves him, one he hasn't burned to the ground, it's taking a lot of the focus off of that one singular event. it still haunts him, but there are other good things in the world, there are lots of things he's done that he doesn't want to take back, because they were good things. time travel would erase those too. and maybe this world he's living in right now is a good thing, and he can work to change the future, not the past

essek's still in that spot caleb was when we found him. he's alone, he's trapped, people on all sides want to kill him, and nothing is there to distract from the guilt burning a hole through him. fixing it by manually wrenching time to suit his needs, regardless of what it would do to everyone else, is the only thing he can think of doing to help (and, it's a very neutral evil response, despite the fact that successfully doing so, might save thousands of lives, who knows)

but cr, both campaign one and two have been very good with the message "you can make the world better not by changing the past but by investing your energy into changing the future", we first had it with percy, caleb's done it, essek's in the first steps of it

and im interested to see if he gets there

#i'd apologise for the long post but also im not sorry #and im pretty sure a good like thousand of you are here because you like me writing shit like this so have some thoughts on the boys! #cr2 #cr spoilers #c2e124 #cr thoughts #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #text #meta

[lumuraa]

NO BUT LIKE I AM FREAKING OUT

WITH A FUCKING DC OF 40 ESSEK AND CALEB SUMMONED A BREAK IN REALITY

WE’RE TIME TRAVELLING OH MY GOOOODDDD

Shadowgast Nation HOW ARE WE FEELING?!

#AAAAAHHHHHHH #cr spoilers #critical role #shadowgast

[c-is-for-circinate]

The Mighty Nein have exactly three ways of dealing with enemies, and that is so fascinating to me.

Befriend.  Between Essek and Isharnai, this has been pretty front-and-center lately, but it’s not actually a recent development.  The M9 have been cozying up to potential threats and making nice as far back as Zadash, when they first discovered the Gentleman’s operations and then promptly decided to go to work for him.  It happens in Hupperdook, when they spend all day swearing bloody murder and hunting down the pickpockets who robbed them, and then promptly adopt four more children and nearly die getting their parents out of prison.  It happens in the Bright Queen’s throne room, when they walk into the innermost heart of the nation they’ve been told for fifty sessions is their enemy, and become heroes of the Dynasty.  There’s a tribe of giants who owe them their home and their gratitude and a band of no-longer-bandits who owe them their lives and their pants-wetting terror, because sometimes that is just how the M9 roll. There are so few people this party actually has a stake in killing.  Monsters, whatever, needs must, but like--who the hell are they to judge?  (The first monsters and enemies they ever made friends with, after all, were each other.)

All-out slaughter.  When the Nein do decide they really want to kill someone, they fucking go for the jugular.  True, murder is pretty standard in D&D, but the Nein often throw both caution and reason out the window when something hits their kill button.  This is almost everything about the pirate arc, starting that day in Nicodranas where they tried to talk threateningly to two guys and ended up committing domestic terrorism and then also murdering their way into ownership of a ship, ending that time they got kicked off Pirate Island in less than 24 hours because they decided to rend Avantika asunder the first instant they had the chance.  It’s their entire brief enmity with Lorenzo--they would not wait, they would not plan, they would not stop, and they would not under any circumstances, no matter what Matt wanted of planned, let him go. Hell, this is how ‘prank call Essek in the middle of a dinner party’ turned into ‘paralyze, kidnap, and interrogate’ in the first place.  This group does not do long games if they can possibly help it.

Absolute avoidance.  There are, sometimes, enemies the Nein dislike too much to befriend and aren’t strong enough to kill.  U’kotoa.  Trent Ikithon.  These opponents are relatively rare, because the Nein do absolutely everything player-ly possible to distance themselves from them at every opportunity.  Don’t want to unleash an immense immortal sea serpent?  Fuck just saying ‘no’, we’re headed to the opposite side of the continent from the ocean, and then we’re going to yeet that magic sword directly into a volcano for good measure.  You can’t threaten or blackmail me. This party is very, very good at avoidance on both a personal and collective level.  So much of the early game was built around getting the fuck away from the entire concept of war and law in general, once upon a time.  They have all of them stayed away from their own families, steering clear around Felderwin and Kamordah until they couldn’t any more, putting off visiting the Menagerie, sleeping on the boat instead of going back to Marion’s for one more night.  They run away from their own pasts and selves and inner demons.  They are not all entirely fond of mirrors.

The thing is, I’m always so fascinated by the moments when the party seems to surprise or vex Matt by derailing his plans, and while he’s generally so proud of them for it, what I’m thinking about tonight is his endless, futile attempts to give them a fucking nemesis already. I’m thinking about why it just keeps not working.  And I think it’s this!

This three-pronged approach to dealing with enemies, avoid-befriend-destroy, is basically a three-step guide to making sure you don’t have enemies any more.  In fact, I would say not-having-enemies-anymore is one of the highest priorities the M9 hold, and it has been, almost accidentally, since before the game even started.  The M9 have since the very beginning played what I can only describe as an extraordinarily defensive game.  They don’t go looking for trouble unless it’s specifically connected to some immediate threat to themselves or someone else.  The handful of mercenary contracts they’ve taken have almost universally been about, “hey, let’s do this thing for the Gentleman so he doesn’t decide to mistrust and kill us,” or, “let’s do this thing for the Gentleman so we can get the fuck out of town before they start conscripting to fight the Krynn Dynasty,” or, “hey, let’s do this thing for the Krynn Dynasty so they don’t decide to mistrust and kill us.”

And it’s not about trying to thwart Matt!  It’s about a party of characters who are all extremely defensive and avoidant in their own ways.  Some of it’s about the sheer trauma of everything to do with Molly, and some of it’s probably about the sheer trauma of everything to do with Vax and Raishan and Anna Ripley and every C1 mistake or villain that ever came back to haunt them, and some of it’s just baked into these new characters.  Everyone in this party is so fucking hurt and defensive before they even start.  The only thing that’s changed so far is the bit-by-bit careful broadening of their circle of ‘who to protect’ to include each other, and their friends, and maybe more or less half the world.

The one exception here is, of course, Obann, who has them on the ropes for almost 20 episodes--who they could not kill, and tried, and he had Yasha and they could not possibly join or befriend him, and he had Yasha and they could never forgive or ignore him, and he had Yasha and they could not kill him.  And the thing is, all I can remember right now is how painful so much of that arc was.  Everybody was so desperate.  Everybody was so miserable.  And still, and still, they could not think how to go around this problem any back way, could not recruit allies or head it off.  They could only just distract themselves with brief side quests in hopes that it might help them next time they hurled themselves head-first into trying all-out slaughter again, and again, and again.  It wasn’t like the Chroma Conclave.  They didn’t back out of the first desperate battle and decide to take the long way around on purpose, to measure and trick and evaluate and gather specific resources and plan.  They were so utterly lost.  They were so desperate.

I think that probably, Matt’s hope for Essek was indeed that he’d become the party’s long-term nemesis that Lorenzo and Avantika didn’t have the chance to be.  I think he was hoping the other night for Essek to get away and leave them all feeling suspicious and betrayed.  I think he was hoping a month or two ago that the M9 would head off away from the peace talks and never even find out about Essek until he tried to call in some of those favors for increasingly suspicious things or it all came back around to bite them in the ass.  I think he hoped for a very long time, maybe even a year ago when they met Essek in the first place, that this traitorous mole would become their Anna Ripley--the cold dark super-intelligent mirror to their own broken super-intelligent knifeblade of a friend, someone they could loathe and fear and despise and eventually, eventually destroy.

But the M9 don’t do nemeses if they have any way whatsoever to help it.  Good luck, Matt.  Pretty sure for this crew it is Trent Ikithon and U’kotoa and Tharizdun himself, and absolutely nobody else is big or bad enough for them to actually run up against for more than a single rematch, unless you get real fucking creative.

#CR spoilers #driveby meta attack #critical role