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pastel-peach-writes · 9 months

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Would I be able to request an Ellie Williams imagine where she has a younger sibling, and they get hurt protecting her and Ellie is worried about them as they are self destructive, please?

You got it, dude!

"Dude, Chill Out." | Ellie + Sibling!Reader

╰┈➤ PLOT: Ellie this, Ellie that. Believe it or not, being Ellie's younger sibling is complete ass. Everyone raves about how strong she is and how she's able to keep her own. Well, what about you? You're barely two years younger and you can keep your own just as well as she can. Besides, she needed your help this time.

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Cursing, Self-Destructive Reader, Sibling!Reader, Angry Ellie, Mentions Of Joel, Long Fic, No Use Of Y/N, Custom Nicknames, Not Proofread, Mentions of Weed/Smoke/Alcohol

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

Breathe. Breathe.

Okay, now be still... look around. Clear. Run.

Through the trees, you zigzag. You're careful not to step on loose twigs and branches. Your throat is scratchy and your breath is as uneven as it's ever been.

From behind you, you can hear the squeals and hisses of whatever demonic creature you've stumped upon this time. You promised her you wouldn't get into trouble. You swore it was a quick trip. At least, it was supposed to be.

Your heart's in your stomach and your legs ache as if you've been running for days. You don't know how much longer you could go.

You glance back to see how far the creature is from you. You can't see anything with the deep gray fog that settled over the forest as nighttime came around. Even the tall tree trunks were unidentifiable.

A wail exclaims from what you thought was fog. The creature's face is bloodied and covered with rotten flesh and fungi. It roars, bringing its chest to the sky before going down on all fours and racing towards you.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" You're in for it now. You inhale sharply as you find any last of your strength in you to book it. Your thighs are screaming at you and your shoulders burn in every location possible.

You should've stayed home.

In the midst of your running, you fail to see a fallen tree trunk in your path. Instead of hopping over it, your shoelaces catch onto the bark of the tree.

You collapse over the trunk, and the wind violently punches out of you. You made first contact on the ground with your ribs, then your chest, and lastly your arms and face. Your legs scuff up against the wood.

Now you're not just feeling the burning of your muscles being overworked, but you're also feeling the burning sensation of many tiny cuts on your legs and arms. Possibly a few cracked ribs if you're lucky.

The creature roars again. You can smell its rotten stank as it comes closer.

Five feet.

Four feet.

Three...

Two...

Bang! Blood erupts from the middle of the creature's face. The bullet sends the creature flying and it lands on its back. More shots are fired into its chest to ensure its death.

You're not disgusted by the guts that exploded onto your face or your blood-soaked garments. Instead, you're afraid of what stands behind the gun.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Trailing up from her muddy, broken-down shoes to her jeans with dirty knees all the way up past her dark gray shirt and sage green button-down, you grin at Ellie. "Hey."

"Oh, come on! I'm fine!" you exclaim as Ellie drags you by your collar and into her home. She tosses you to her couch. You sit down with a plop. You scoff and fix your shirt.

"You're full of bullshit. You're scratched up and if I wasn't there to save your ass, you would've been dead," she says. With a grunt, your sister goes over to her desk. She scrambles through books and papers before taking out a tin box. "You're lucky you don't have any real injuries."

Does a bruised ego count as a real injury?

"Yeah, yeah," you mumble. "No one can beat Little Miss Perfect."

With her head cocked, Ellie whips around toward you. "What did you just say?"

She's using that tone a mother would use. The same tone a bully would use to make their prey cower when they try to stand up to themselves. She sounds like Joel. When did she become him?

"Nothing." Your eyes falter between the coffee table in front of you and her eyes. No, scratch that. Her green eyes are piercing into your soul. You stare at the coffee table.

Ellie scoffs. Despite the thick tension in the room, Ellie comes to your side. She crouches on the floor and guides your arm towards her.

You wince, turning away and locking your jaw.

"I thought you said you were fine," Ellie's smirk is apparent in her words. She lengths your arm towards herself. She takes a wet cotton and cleans the minuscule cuts the infirmary didn't notice.

You nearly screech at the burning and tingling sensation. "I am. You're just gripping my arm like I'm some piece of chicken and you're the predator."

"That doesn't even make any sense." Ellie's eyes stay locked onto your arm. After she cleans up the cuts, she applies cream and gives extra delicate attention to your bruises. In the end, she wraps your arm up with a bandage wrap to prevent the cuts from getting infected and gross. "There."

You glance at the bandage. The wrap around your forearm is tight, as it should be, and moving your arm from straight to bend is damn near impossible. The classic Ellie bandage stamp of approval. "Thanks."

Ellie stands with a groan. "No biggie. Just stop getting yourself into shit. I'm tired of saving your ass." She puts her first aid supplies back in the tin box before storing the box in its original place.

"Yeah, right," you stand to follow her. "You love saving me. It paints you as the hero of the town and gets you in good cahoots with whomever you pissed off now."

Ellie turns to glare at you but decides against it. Arguing with you over this subject wasn't worth it. She sighs instead. "Whatever, man. You coming to the party tonight?"

"I wouldn't call it a party. Parties are supposed to be fun."

Ellie snickers. She rests the small of her back on the edge of her desk She crosses her arms as she shakes her head amused. "You're not wrong there, but still, you should come. If I have to go--"

"--then I have to. I know how this works." You let a sigh escape from your lips. "Fine, but I'm not going to show up on time."

"Wouldn't expect you to."

When you tell Ellie you're going to be late for something, you mean it. You hate arriving early to parties earlier. If they were parties held in someone's house, you're forced to mingle with the host which could be an awkward situation if you're not close with them.

Additionally, you may be forced to help set up.

Coming in late means you can slip into the party unnoticed and the decorations are bound to be done. Also, everyone's past the introductions and getting rid of the awkward air.

When you're late to a party, all that's in the air is vibes and maybe weed, smoke, and alcohol. Regardless, there's no awkwardness, just vibes. And vibes are all you're here for.

You slip into the fairy light-lit barn dressed in a fresh pair of jeans and your favorite shirt. Oh, and maybe a coat you took from Ellie who took it from Joel.

There's no scent of smoke or weed that greets you and there's only a faint smell of alcohol.

The oldies must not be here.

In the middle of the barn were people dancing and enjoying each other's company. By the back walls were people sipping on drinks and chatting amongst themselves.

You scan the party for your people, Kate, Ren, and Wired, but they're not here. You further scan for Ellie and her crew, but they're not here either.

One con on arriving late to a party: sometimes you're too late and miss seeing your favorite people.

Your shoes scuff on the floor when you turn to leave. Before you're greeted with the cold, fresh air, a girl with a short black bob grabs onto your shoulder.

You groan in pain. You turn to face her only to find that she's absolutely hammered.

"Oh, sorry!" the girl slurs. With a finger pointed towards you, she gasps. "No way! You're Ellie's sibling, right? Oh, she was just here saying how she saved you from the forest earlier this evening. She's so cool!" a giggle interrupts her ramble, "she's always saving us here and protecting us. It must be awesome to have her as your sister!"

You feign a smile. "Yeah, it's great."

The girl giggles again. "It must suck to live up to her. Like, I would feel like, inferior towards her and how she acts for others. She's so selfless. It's admirable really. She's so awesome-- Hey, I went on patrol with her once--"

You tuned out the rest of her ramble, vent, mumbling -- whatever the hell she was doing, you tuned her out. You didn't need to hear how great your sister is. You already know. You hear it every day, all day, 24/7.

What you rarely heard was how awesome you are and how great you are at things. You're lost in her 5'5 shadow and it sucks. Ellie this, Ellie that. All things Ellie can fuck off. You were going to prove how great you could be. Then maybe all this Ellie talk could stop.

You leave the party, letting the girl continue to talk about Ellie. You're sure she has some sort of crush on your sister, but that was none of your business.

"Hey," Dina says as she walks up to Ellie with two drinks in her hand. "Did I just see your sibling come in and then leave?"

Ellie takes a glass from her hand. Her eyes never left the barn's entrance since you walked in and then walked out. "Yeah, I just saw them too."

Dina purses her lips to the side as she leans on the wall they're standing next to. "Think they're okay?"

Ellie nods. She takes a sip of her drink, letting it linger on her lips then tastebuds before finally swallowing the liquid. "Yeah, I didn't see any signs of distress or upset on their squishy face."

Dina laughs. "You talk about them like this to their face?"

Ellie takes another sip, letting the liquid go straight down this time. "'Course not. Who do you take me as? They'll be alright."

The next morning, you were on the rotation for patrol. Typically, whoever's in charge of the schedule and shifts would never put you and Ellie on the same rotation. Putting siblings on the same team could be a scramble sometimes.

Sometimes you get the dream team, other times you don't.

But when you left the party last night, you changed the schedule to make sure you were on the same shift Ellie was on. You also made sure you two got paired up.

Jesse would be fine. He can deal with not being with Ellie and Dina for the morning.

So far, patrol was fine. Calm horses, easy breeze, and quick conversation.

Ellie and Dina talked more than you, but you were fine with it. You weren't trying to prove how great of a talker you were, you were trying to prove how great of a protector you are.

And saving Ellie in front of Dina guaranteed town buzz. No offense to Dina, but she can't keep a town secret to save her life. It's okay though, everyone has their faults.

"Clumsy, if I have to tell your ass to keep your horse straight one more time, I'm going to lose it," Ellie barks.

And your fault was horse-riding.

It didn't matter how long you've been horse-riding or how many times Joel and Ellie tried to teach you, you could never get the concept.

"Sorry! I'm trying. She's being rowdy today," you pout as you move your horse's reign.

"Don't blame the horse, blame the rider," Ellie snickers. You give her a scowl in response, but she only laughs it off.

An hour or so into patrol and there was no chaos. Unfortunate for you because you need the chaos in order to prove yourself. You've tried to make chaos like, snapping a twig or maybe distracting the horses so they'll run away, but to no avail.

You three dock your horses momentarily to search through a building on foot.

The building is tall and abandoned, like most of the buildings nowadays. Greenery grows from the sides and the windows are simply frames. There are no window panes in sight.

Cautiously, Ellie walks inside the building first. She has her hand on her upholster and another one guides the flashlight. Though the sun was shining, it was natural for a place like this to have dark corners or areas to be discovered.

Dina waits patiently while you cross your arms with a scoff. "Why do you have to be the first one to go in?" you ask your sister.

She sticks out a finger to shush you. You roll your eyes but obey nonetheless. Ellie scans the building, still close to the entrance in case something is hiding in the shadows. When she determines the area to be safe, she invites you two inside. "Because," Ellie answers. "I'm..."

Ellie's eyes shift toward Dina. The girl is scanning the building as told, not paying mind to your sibling conversation. Ellie lets out a breath and continues but with a lower tone. "I'm immune. If something comes running out at me, I'll be fine. You two on the other hand?" she shakes her head, "I would be dumb to let anything happen to you two."

"Blah, blah," you wave her off. You walk further away from Ellie and discover the rest of the building on your own.

The building had five stories. The first two were pretty well lit with the morning light, the others not so much. Not to mention the wet and stinky stairways.

You stomp your way up the stairs with a scowl on your face. You keep a strong hold on your flashlight.

"Will you quiet down?" Ellie whisper-exclaims from the bottom of the steps. You ignore her. You didn't even know she was following you. "If something's here, you're going to attract it."

"I don't give a fuck. You're here anyways. You can save the day as usual." Your voice is bitter yet quiet. You speak to Ellie through your teeth. "Shouldn't you be with Dina anyway?"

"She can handle her own." Ellie quickly goes up the stairs to be closer to you. "We agreed she should keep watch while us two search through the other levels."

You scoff. "So, you trust her but you don't trust me."

"Did I say that?"

You shrug. "You might as well," you make an effort to have your stomps be heard. You open the door to the other level, but Ellie rushes in front of you to scan the level first.

When safety has been assured, Ellie walks in. "Well, I didn't. So, don't get your head wrapped up over shit that isn't even true." She uses her flashlight as her eyes as she steps further into the room.

You shut the door behind yourself. You don't dare to speak to Ellie anymore as you clear the level. Onto the next you go.

You and Ellie go up the stairs in silence. Per usual, Ellie checks the level first and then allows you to come inside.

"You know, I'm getting real sick and tired of your bullshit superhero act," you drop the bomb on her as you scan through cardboard boxes.

Ellie groans to herself, "Here we go."

"You always have to save people then flaunt it. Could you ever save someone and then swear secrecy? Do you have to blab your mouth like you're Dina every time you save someone?"

Ellie's jaw tenses. "Watch yourself."

"And here you go with that bullshit!" you toss the box aside. Something in the far corner creaks, but you both pay no mind. "You're not my fucking mom, Ellie! Hell, you're not Joel or any other parental figure in my life--"

"Good! I don't want to be any of those anyway. If I birthed you, I would have no clue what to do with myself," Ellie scoffs. "You're so fucking insane sometimes, you know that?"

You shrug, crossing your eyes over your chest. Her words stab you right in the heart and send tears to your eyes, but you don't let them show.

"You're always getting yourself into trouble. You say, 'Oh, I'm fine!' but then you come to me with a dislocated knee. You'll say 'Oh, I'm just going out for a bit,' but then come home bruised up with leaves in your hair, dirt and blood on your clothes, and if I'm truly lucky, your little friends would tell me you nearly came in close contact with a fucking infected," Ellie's voice grows the more she talks.

The creaking in the corner is more apparent. In fact, it's beginning to sound like more clicking.

"Ellie," you warn, your voice quiet.

"No, you wanna do this here? Let's do this then. There's never a day where I don't worry about you. Did you eat? Drink water? Are you in your bed safely tucked in at night or am I going to wake up in the morning and receive the worst news of my life?" Ellie's voice cracks.

You can barely see her eyes stare into yours. By the sound of her voice, you can tell she's getting choked up. Maybe even crying?

"You always get yourself into shit, Clumsy, and I--"

"Ellie, look out!" you exclaim as a hand shoots through the frail wall beside her. Ellie moves, but not a sound escapes her body. She turns to the hand, then back to you where she finds you're no longer where you were two seconds ago.

Instead, you're charging headfirst into danger. You break down the wall with the crowbar that was stashed in your backpack. The clicker runs straight toward you once it's free from the wall. You bash the bar on its head before taking a blade and jamming it in the clicker's throat.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" Ellie asks. You wave her off. Instead, you walk inside the hidden room the clicker was in. You don't make an effort to scan the room like Ellie does. If something wants to come at you, so be it.

There were only two more clickers hiding in the room. You killed them both, not letting Ellie get a chance to save your ass.

Finishing up the room scan, you head over to a case of books. They're weathered and crusty, and the words on the pages bleed through. Ellie tries to spark a conversation again, but you ignore her once more.

You continue walking around the room with the floor creaking under you. Your flashlight shines a path for you to get out of the room, but you fail to see the giant hole in the ground. You step right through and fall three stories down.

Ellie calls out for you, but the moment she runs towards the hole, it's too late.

You land in a mist of cardboard boxes filled with packing supplies, but they don't do much in terms of protection.

"What the--" Dina mumbles. She turns behind herself to find you dropped in the pile of boxes with a broken arm and leg. You can't even look at her. The tears blur your vision and your head is scrambled from earlier actions and conversations.

Ellie shines her flashlight down the hole and sighs, "Only you, Clumsy."

You lie in your bed with your arm hoisted up and your leg resting on a stack of pillows. On your nightstand is a mug of cold soup, pain meds, and books to keep your mind busy, but it was all useless.

The day you were going to prove yourself to Jackson, you came home sharing a horse with Ellie and with broken bones.

"Oh, Ellie! Thank God you were there." "Imagine what would've happened if she wasn't there." "You're lucky you have such an amazing sister."

"Oh, fuck off," you groan. You turn your face into your pillows and groan once more.

"Oh, sorry," Ellie's voice goes through the muffling of pillows. "I can leave if you want."

You peel your face from the pillows. "No, sorry. That wasn't catered towards you."

Ellie nods. She plays with her hands as she steps further into the room. Inches away from the edge of your bed, Ellie's eyes flicker to everything else but you.

Your eyes, however, remain on her.

Your last conversation wasn't the best, that's something you both knew. But, you never knew how much she cared for you and went out of her way to protect you. You didn't need protection. At least, not from outside elements. Maybe from yourself.

You're too ambitious for your own good. You're too stubborn for your own good too. You believe you can do everything on your own when you can't. In fact, you're pretty sure you've done nothing on your own since the apocalypse broke out.

You try to be hyper-independent but instead, all you are is self-destructive.

"I'm, uh, sorry for what I said on patrol," Ellie's voice takes you out of your spiraling thoughts. "I didn't mean most of it. Like, the part of, uh," she scratches the back of her neck. "'Being lucky I didn't birth you'? One, that was weird... uh, two, I'm very lucky to have you the way I do. I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise."

If you could shrug right now, you would, but everything hurts too much. "It's okay. I know I'm a handful."

"Maybe," Ellie walks to the side of your bed. "But isn't that your job? You're the younger sibling. You're supposed to get into trouble and I'm supposed to be the one to get you out of it."

"But I don't want you to. I want to get myself out of it."

"Oh, yeah? And how do you manage to do that? By dying?" Ellie's voice raises.

You deplete. You take your eyes off of her the moment her's lands on you. "You can go now."

"No, shit, Clumsy--"

"Stop calling me that. It's not cute, it's not endearing, it's fucking embarrassing."

"Okay, well," Ellie scans your room. It's been a minute since she's been in here. There are old porcelain sculptures of blueberries and pears scattered around your room. Most are chipped, but they're polished nicely.

On your bookcase, there are pictures of you with your friends and of you two with Joel. None of the two of you by yourselves. There are books in the case too, but they look to be untouched by you.

Ellie scans your room once more. There are speckles of blue around and even more porcelain sculptures of chipped blueberries. "How about Blueberry? Is that fitting?"

"It's fine." Your eyes remain on your window.

"Okay, well, Blueberry, I'm sorry. I really am. I've talked some things over with Dina, I guess I am a blabbermouth, but she helped me realize that, maybe you're feeling left out somehow or less than," Ellie finds her place by your bedside. "Is that true?"

"Could be."

"Right, well, Dina's a younger sister, you know that? She said that sometimes it can be hard to be your own person when your older sibling is amazing and all that shit, but I'm not amazing. I'm just me."

"Your point?"

"My point is, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad by saving you all the time. I was trying to do my part as your sister to protect you and I guess that blew up in my face," she sighs.

You finally face her. "I just wanted to prove I can be something besides Ellie's younger sibling who always gets themselves into trouble. I don't want to be known as the reckless one. I want to be strong and brave."

"But you are those things, Blueberry." Ellie's eyes motion towards the empty space beside you. You nod and allow her to sit. "I can't count all the times you went out after dark just because you heard something and wanted to ensure safety. Or however many times you stood up for the little guy. That's brave and strong."

"Not in the same sense of your strongness and bravery."

Ellie frowns. She puts a careful hand on your good thigh. "That's because you're not me. And if you spend the rest of your life trying to be someone else, you'll never be happy. No matter how hard you try, you'll never be me. You'll always be you and that's beautiful. Your friends like you for who you are. I like you for who you are. Why don't you?"

You fall silent. Your eyes well up with tears and your throat gets scratchy. With your eyes stinging, you try to move yourself close to Ellie.

You don't need to use your words to get what you want from Ellie. She already knows. She lies down, cradling your head in her arms as she does so. As you sob into her, she doesn't shush you. Instead, she draws circles on your good arm and kisses the top of your head. "I love you, Blue, and I want you to start loving yourself too. Start being you for you. Who cares about what others think?" she whispers.

You still don't have much to say. You let Ellie comfort you until the tears spill out until there are no more tears left to cry. You've spent all your time trying to prove you can be like Ellie, you kind of forgotten how to be yourself.

From this moment on, you make a promise to yourself:

Be you for who you are. The world does not need two Ellies.

WC: 4,263

A/N: I wouldn't mind two Ellies but, okay. LMAO

#pastel-peach-writes #gender-neutral terms #pastel peach writes #gender neutral terms #lesbian #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie fanfic #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie x sibling!reader #sibling reader #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #tlou #gender neutral reader

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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hardbeingcasual · 1 year

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PATCHED UP: ellie williams x fem reader ( for @zndayacc ❤️‍🩹 )

SUMMARY: Ellie comes back from Seattle all bloodied and bruised so you patch her up and stay with her.

WARNINGS: Blood, death mentions

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You had been worried sick for days for your best friend as she went on a trip to Seattle for vengeance for Joel. Joel was like a father to her so you understood her need to take care of his murderer. You would’ve gone with her but you had your duties to attend to at Jackson.

You almost felt guilt pang in your stomach as you see Ellie, Dina who were trying their best to walk an unconscious Tommy through the gates of Jackson. Everyone in the community rushes over to attend to their injuries. Well, mostly Tommy’s considering he had been shot in the eye.

Your stomach drops when you realise someone was missing, Jesse. He had gone after them because he didn’t want them to do it alone, and he also looked up to the man who was killed by Abby and her crew.

You notice Ellie’s broken expression meet yours, you quickly pick up the pace and run over to her. You carefully bring her into an embrace, being careful you never harmed her more than she was. “I was worried sick.”

“Jesse—” Her broken voice starts to speak up.

You cut her off, “I figured.” You feel the tears brim in your eyes but shake them off as the most important thing at hand right now was Ellie. “Let’s get you patched up, okay?” She barely nods before you drag her over to the small med bay, considering you’re a nurse you know what you’re doing.

It had been a whole after patching Ellie up you take her to where she stays and gets her in her bed. What she needs was rest for the eventful days she had went through.

Ellies voice croaked as she started speaking, “Abby— She’s still out there. Free. She killed Joel she doesn’t deserve to wander—” She doesn’t get to finish as she starts breaking down. You immediately go to her side, bringing her into a hug as her tears soak into your t-shirt but you didn’t seem to mind, since it was Ellie.

You draw stars on her shoulder to try and calm her. She had been bottling up her emotions since Joel died in front of her, she needed this, to let it go. “Its okay.” You comfort her. Your voice soothing her as her sobs start to slow down. “Come on,” You move her so she can lay down on her bed. “You need some rest.”

Ellie doesn’t fight, she lets you tuck her in to her comforter as she feels sleep ready to take over her. You notice her tired expression and get ready to leave her to get some rest but she stops you. “Please, stay. I can’t be alone.”

All you do is nod, and get into bed with her, her arms going around your waist as your hands finds their way through her hair, massaging her scalp. She falls asleep in no time, you look at her and notice how peaceful she looks when shes asleep. You then fall asleep not long after Ellie did. Both your bodies still tangled together.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #tlou part 2 #the last of us part 2 #the last of us fanfic #tlou fanfic #ellie tlou #dina the last of us #jesse the last of us

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oonajaeadira · 1 year

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A Kiss Before Dying And In Death We Combine

Rating: M

Fandom: The Last Of Us

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Warning: Blood and wounds. Bodily character death. Loss. Love that hurts. Sex of course, but blurred to the edges. Playing fast and loose with the cordyceps and how fast it grows.

Summary: When Joel becomes infected, you make the decision not to leave him alone.

A/N: This is the January installment of my Year of Tropes challenge wherein I tackle tropes that I haven’t written but that I love to read. This month is MONSTERFUCKING and was inspired by Craig Mazin’s explanation of the kiss in ep. 2. Monsterfking is generally a lot darker and rougher genre than I usually write, so of course I’m going to question what is baseline required to fit the trope and then explore those boundaries. Therefore, whether it qualifies as monsterfking is questionable. I feel it qualifies for the sake of my first go at it.

I also think it’s beautiful and sad. Whether it is or not is also up to you.

This is set post season 1 (provided they follow the major plot points of the game) but contains no spoilers. It does briefly mention Jackson which is a settlement that has the potential to be a home for Joel and Ellie. This story, as with all TLOU content I will write, rejects the existence of TLOU 2.

Thank you to my TLOU guru @something-tofightfor for answering my Joel questions.

Everything is slick with blood.

You’ve dropped your pistol. Your boot skids in a splash on the floor. The heavy bookcase that you and Joel are struggling to pull in front of the entrance slips from your hands and comes crashing down on its side creating a sloppy barricade across the door. As Joel slams into the wall of the abandoned, overgrown office and slides his way down, he leaves a long, red smooch in the rotting damask wallpaper and you can’t seem to get a grip on the zipper pull to open your backpack.

“Fuck. Fuck!!! Hang on, Joel. I’ve got some–nnnrrrrrr!!!–I’ve got some bandages in here–”

Bodies pelt like hail against the door outside; a dozen mobile cordyceps vehicles bouncing on the barrier, desperate to claim more meat.

“Stop,” he gravels. “Stop and get the hell out of here.”

“Not a chance. I’ve got–”

“Listen to me, dammit!!”

But for the dull thuds of flesh hitting metal, the world comes to a halt as you spin to look him in the eye, bent on defiance, ready to grit teeth and find your protective growl…and instead come face to face with your own desperate denial.

“No. No no no nononono…” As if controlled by a tendril, you’re pulled to Joel, collapsing beside him, pulling the blood-soaked flannel away from his neck and pushing at the blood pooling there, trying to slick it away with your hands, prove to yourself that there’s just skin beneath and not an angry, oozing bite, not really, please not really…

Joel’s own bloody hands mix with yours, trying to tear them away from his neck and, failing wretchedly, instead find their way to your face to bring your eyes to his.

“Listen. Hey! Listen to me! There’s a door at the end of the hall that will lead to the roof. You go. You get the hell out. I’m done.”

No, says a stiff, involuntary shake of your head. No. You steal a valuable moment to search his eyes as he holds you there, as your breath comes in hitches, as your adrenaline levels begin to sink.

His nostrils flair as his countenance darkens. “You. Run.”

Sternness was the wrong choice. Bravery was the wrong choice. Self-sacrifice was the wrong choice. These are the things he displays in this moment that pull your love up and out of you, spilling over your cheeks, one silent tear, then another, and in any other situation you’d do your very best to keep them out of your voice.

But today is not that day.

“Joel--!”

That whimper--the fear and hurt that cracks you open--shines a light on his darkness, transforms him back into the tired lover you know, infects him with your anguish, and causes him to crush you close in a bruising embrace.

How many times has he held you like this? After the years on the road, in the QZ, finally arriving in Jackson, letting his bones settle as he took root, you’d watched him soften. He’d found trust in his new community, purpose in the patrols, pride in Ellie.

And love. You’d watched him find love. You’d witnessed him resist it and then yearn for it and finally give into it. You never cajoled or pushed him faster than he needed to go. You simply waited with open arms. He was the one that decided to finally fall into them all on his own.

He needed them in moments of contentment and of regret. He sought out your embrace when he woke in the middle of the night from dreams of loss and those moments when he looked toward the horizon at twilight and found one more thing to forgive himself for.

And each time, you held him close enough to make him a part of you; waited for him to let go first.

You promised him you’d hold him as long as he needed it.

As long as he needed you.

Because you needed him too.

Loving Joel had woken something lying deep inside the grave of your heart. Caused it to send up shoots and bloom again. Who knew that your brand of sunshine was a slew of dumb dad jokes? That the sound of a man’s voice rumbling through sad old rock tunes was like a rain to your drought? Joel had patiently flourished you. Like a miracle you awoke one day unfurled and vibrant.

How could you go on without that now?

How could you run back to that gray life? To Ellie’s tears? To a world even emptier than it was before?

How could you leave him here?

No.

You’re not leaving him alone.

His jaw twitches against your cheek. His shoulder jumps.

“Sweetheart. Where’s your pistol.”

“I dropped it.”

“Okay. That’s okay. But you gotta go now. Go on.”

You pull back, but do not rise. It shouldn’t have to be said. “I’m staying.”

Sorrow, anger, desperation. They all pull together like a black hole in the middle of his brow. “The hell you are. I don’t have much time. You’re wasting yours.”

“No. I’m not. I’m just using it all at once.”

“Sweetheart–”

“Joel–”

“No, you go! You get gone and you survive! Don’t you dare make me your executioner!”

The banging at the door has suddenly stopped. Joel’s head begins to jerk repeatedly to one side and he grits his teeth, fighting it, trying to keep eyes trained on you.

“Please,” he whispers, “Sweethar–”

Even as his nerves begin to activate and cause his muscles to jump, even as his last word is choked out by the tendrils rising, you find a center of peace.

A way to keep him.

He always loves it when you initiate touch, when you run your palm along his zipper, when you show him that you admire what’s underneath. And true to the strange state of human biology, here, at the moment of dying, he’s beautifully hard and responsive. There’s no urgency, no rush as you undo his belt buckle for the very last time.

A strained objection echoes behind his clamped teeth and he swallows it as he tries to keep the tendrils at bay, gives one last effort to protect you, his brown eyes brimming with tears.

“Shhh. It’s okay,” you smile, pushing a graying curl away from his damp forehead. “Don’t fight. I’m coming with you. It’s okay.”

And gradually, as you pull at his jeans, his twitching subsides and paralysis sets in.

The cordyceps has reached his brain, become one with his instincts, his drive, it can read the chemicals drawing him to you…and it understands. So it waits.

But his eyes follow you. His eyes tell you that he’s still Joel. You’ve seen that particular bittersweet note in them before. A gratefulness. A soothing. The gift you’ve given him in the last years of his life–an end to loneliness. He’s accepted your will, knows the woman you are and that he can’t convince you otherwise once you’ve set your heart.

The cordyceps understands this. It understands that if it holds back and gives you this last connection, you will willingly assimilate yourself.

His eyes watch as you hurriedly shed your boots and jeans, looking one last time at the body you’ve let him know, the softness you’ve allowed to warm him. And those deep, dark eyes finally close in ecstasy–letting go of pain and welcoming your choice–as you sink down upon him.

Folding your arms around his shoulders, pushing your forehead into his temple, you rock on him–let him fill you and slide with you–whispering in his ear how lucky you were to meet him, how precious every moment with him has been. That all the running and surviving and loss and hurt is about to go away and you’ll be here with him, that he’ll never be alone again.

You don’t stop telling him these things. Not when the infection forces him to roll up into you–the fungus using his knowledge of what brings him pleasure, leading him to where his paradise is–not as you feel threads binding your thighs tightly to his. Not when his arms lock around you and whatever is growing out through his skin begins to burrow into the meat of your back, curiously carrying some kind of numbing elixir…it doesn’t hurt at all.

In fact, there’s a pleasant sense of welcome. A rapture…

You can feel Joel’s love. You can hear it and taste it on your tongue, there’s no more doubt, no holding back, your nerves are burning with it.

It takes a moment for your muscles to start twitching sporadically. And soon you have an overwhelming need to kiss him.

As if you ever spent a minute not wanting to kiss him. Tsk. Silly. It makes you smile.

He senses this and opens his mouth to receive you.

You rock yourself harder. Seal your lips to his. And you let him–it–in.

Bliss.

I’m happy you stayed.

So am I.

You feel…so sweet.

I love you.

As the tendrils vine around your tangled limbs and press you into your new conjoinment, your inner muscles contract and his hips jolt in an upward spasm. There’s a sudden warmth that spreads within you…and keeps spreading…it weaves into your flesh, knitting you to him from the inside.

Never have you felt so full and so adored, so completely merged with another heart…one that is broken but warm, quietly yearning, finding purpose in protecting his own. One that weaves itself around yours in threads of gratefulness and calm. Lifetimes of euphoria grip you.

This is when you think you lose yourself. When you go away. It’s quiet. And dark.

But only for a short time.

Then there’s light.

You can sense light and color. This is…seeing?

The shapes are beautiful, vibrant. Deep, bright, and cool, stretching out over the structure that supports you and across the surface you inhabit. Your cordyceps fan over and around you, holding you, cradling you, protecting a part of you that is shaped like love. A part of you that was once separate but is now with you always.

I don’t hurt anymore.

No. No more hurt.

I’m not afraid.

No fear.

I’m so happy. So at peace.

I love you.

I will hold you forever.

You will never be alone.

Inside you there is a song. A low frequency voice. A melody from another life. It is being shared with you simply to bring you joy. And throughout the network of your tendrils you send back something that once felt like smiling. Like holding. Like laughter. Like giving of your whole self.

But there is no self.

There is only beautiful serenity and intense sweetness.

There are only parts of you that once had worries and sorrows and names, but have shed those sad husks to flower into one gentle, undying love.

________

Commissioned artwork by @mjpens

MASTERLIST

CHARACTER MASTERLIST

YEAR OF TROPES MASTERLIST

#the last of us fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #year of tropes

242 notes · View notes

j3zelle · 1 year

Text

Summary: You and Ellie are just getting by, pushing yourselves to the limit as you finally find what it was you were looking for.

Warnings: NSFW WARNING ! MINORS DNI ! cursing, blood mention, animal death, oral sex r!receiving, fingering r!receiving.

Word Count: 6338

A/N: I know what you guys are thinking... "OMG??? ITS FINALLLY HERE???" I know bitches, it's time, strap yourselves in! (Also I finished writing this at 11:30 at night, so sorry if there are any writing mistakes, but hey, apparently the freaks do come out at night... Enjoy!)

Benevolence: Part 5

You awoke the next morning to the smell of mud and dew. It was a pleasant smell, one you missed a lot since you left Jackson. You missed gardening in the greenhouses, the smell of freshly cooked bacon and steak. The feeling of your own bed underneath you. Even if it was a life you didn’t imagine living, you were grateful for it.

You open your eyes slowly, looking up through the trees as the very early morning sun rays spill through the leaves and branches, creating a burn yellow glow. You soaked up the sun like a small, budding flower. As you do this, you feel movement beside you. Turning, Ellie was beside you, reading that survivor's book. Her heavy sweat jacket made a makeshift pillow as she laid on her back, looking down at the book as it laid on her chest.

“Morning.” You whisper softly to her. “Doing some light reading?” She looks over to you, smiling at your words before she closes the book on her finger, keeping her page safe from the clutches of the unknown.

“Only a little. I was trying to see who those people were, maybe they were part of the same group.”

“Why would they separate?”

“To find Joel. Scout ahead. Who knows at this point?” Ellie sits up, looking over to her bag that was beside her before opening it and placing the book back into it. “However, I did learn something new.”

“And that was?” Ellie doesn’t answer yet, she simply places a small apple in the hand you had laying on your chest. You sit up slowly, careful to not hurt your arm, and take a bite out of it. It was tarty and a bit squishy, but you didn’t mind that much.

“They call themselves the Washington Liberation Front. Their base is in Seattle.”

“Okay.”

“Where do you think they would take Jesse?” She questions, and you shrug.

“Not back to Seattle, if they are still here. But, again, how do we know these are the same people?”

“That girl in the building, she mentioned the man that led them, named Isaac. The same name was mentioned in the diary.” Ellie grips onto her pinky and ring finger on her left hand, just like she always does. “They also mentioned looking for Joel and Jackson.”

“Did they mention why they were looking for him?” You ask, taking another bite out of the apple. Ellie looks away, digging into her bag one last time and pulling out the bandages. Without her asking, you turned your body completely so your right arm was facing her. She turned around, her eyes wide. She likely didn’t expect you to read her mind. You giggled softly as you bit into the apple once more, and she just shook her head.

“They didn’t mention it.” She responds, taking off the bloody bandages from your arm carefully, and wrapping new ones around it. You wince softly, looking up into her eyes as she works.

“That’s odd.”

“All I know is that if Jesse isn’t in Seattle now, he will be soon. We have to find him before he is off the map for good.”

“You mean… going to Seattle?”

“If you're willing to go that far.”

“I’m more than willing.”

Three Months Later

The weeks turned into months as you and Ellie were on the road. It was long and hard, but you and her managed it. A lot of nights, you had to go without eating, but thankfully, Ellie was great with a bow. Every few nights that go by, she would hunt down a rabbit the both of you would share. She would even tell you stories about the times she spent in Jackson with Jesse and Dina, before you came yourself only a year or so ago.

After a while of traveling with the horses, yours ended up dying in the night from hunger. You felt terrible, as you were so worried about yourself and Ellie, not what the horses ate. You gave them what little food you could spare, but there was nothing you two could do about it. Ellie let Shimmer go that same morning, hoping she would fend better in the wild than with you two. You just couldn’t salvage the extra food for them. It broke her heart, letting her go, but you told her it was the best thing to do, and reminded her that it would’ve been better letting her go to live a better life than watch her die a few nights later. She knew you were right, and as she watched her leave, she took hold of your hand. You two have been on foot since then, trekking along as far as you could go until you basically collapsed to the grassy floor every night.

You thought with all this traveling, you and her would get closer. And that is exactly what happened. There were times where she would warm up to you and get to share a lot with you. Even times where you would find yourselves enveloped in each other in kisses, the ones you thought only happened on those terrible 90’s movies the adults showed everyone on movie nights. But, you noticed something always made her pull away, as if she regretted it. It was driving you insane, the fact she changed her personality so much. It was nothing like she usually acted, like in Jackson. She was still herself but it was like something pulled her out of it.

Whenever you mentioned it or brought it up, she changed the subject quickly. It worried you more than you would like to admit, and sometimes she noticed.

When she would change the subject, she often brought up your new scar and how it looked a lot like the one she used to have before she covered it up with her tattoo. You took it as a compliment most of the time, because you actually loved your new scar. The healing was a pain and you wish you didn’t get hurt from the beginning, but at least it looked cool now.

With the weather getting warmer, Ellie ripped her long sleeve denim jacket into a t-shirt, showing off her beautiful toned muscles. She only caught you staring once, so you are training yourself to look away as soon as she feels your eyes on her. You weren’t staring that much, but you couldn’t deny when she was sweating in the sun, and the way it beaded on her skin, it was hard to look away.

“Alright, according to this map, there should be an old hotel down the road. We can hole up there for the night.” Ellie speaks, looking over to you. You were kneeling down in a small area of grass, picking at a patch of lemongrass. With the warmer weather came more food to eat, and although lemongrass didn’t have the most pleasant taste, it was better than nothing. You pick a handful, placing them in your bag before you stand back up and walk over to her.

“What did you just grab?” “Lemongrass.”

“Again?” Ellie groans, folding up the map of Seattle she found on a dead survivor's body. They were also part of the Washington Liberation Front, the body had a patch on it saying so.

“You want to starve?” You ask her, moving to her side.

“It’s not my plan, no.”

“Then we are eating lemongrass for dinner.”

“We can’t even eat it! We just suck on the strands.” She replies, beginning to walk away. The sun was a bit brighter now, but with the towering buildings above you, the shadows cast on the two of you well enough to block the sun's harsh rays. You traveled a lot before, but Seattle was something different, especially since nature took over all the buildings and made them seem like they were trying to camouflage.

“So, we’re heading to a hotel?”

“Yeah, apparently it's a small meeting place for the WLF. Maybe there are some people there we can talk to, get some more information out of anyone we can.” “Maybe even find Jesse?”

“Exactly what I thought. If they were smart, they wouldn’t lead us all the way back to their base. No, they’d keep him in a spot only those they trusted knew about. So, this is our best lead so far.”

“Sounds like a lot of nothing for just information. Jesse isn’t the kind of guy to kidnap to get information out of. He’s not like Tommy or Maria, those are people they would want for information.”

“Yeah, but they are also one of the strongest in Jackson. They wouldn’t do that. They’d grab someone alone, vulnerable.”

You smile, shaking your head. “Then Jesse isn’t the one. He’s older than you and me, he knows what he is doing. He knows how to take care of himself. Hell, I’d be surprised if he was tied up when we found him. He has a thing for getting out of sticky situations.”

Ellie looks back at you, shrugging. “Of course, but we can’t let them know that, can we?”

More walking with the only change being the sun going down. Your legs were beginning to itch and the balls of your feet were sore. You wanted to tap Ellie’s shoulder and ask her to stop for the night, hoping she’d make an exception. How big is Seattle? This is getting ridiculous!

“There.” Ellie whispers, putting a hand on your shoulder. You look over to Ellie, noticing her eyes were focusing on something entirely different in front of her. You follow her gaze, noticing a brick building in the difference, covered in plants. A fence wrapped around the outside of the building, and a large gate was the window to the courtyard, which held a beautiful fountain. Unfortunately, it no longer worked, even though you could imagine the water spewing out of the little angel's mouth at the top.

“Come on.” She murmurs, taking your hand as she pulls you along. You tag behind her, feeling the way her hand wraps around yours. Her skin was a bit rough at the moment, but you didn’t mind it. It was a rough couple of months on the road, with and without your horses.

The two of you ran across the road, quickly and quieting, hoping know one was watching the two of you. Ellie lets go of your hand, then wraps it around the bars of the gate, shaking it to see if it will open easily. She then looks up, noticing the top of the gate was only a little rusted, and there were no sharp points.

“Hey. Let’s jump it.” She tells you, and you nod in understanding.

“You first.”

‘No, ladies first~” She answers, placing her back against the gate as she kneels down and makes a cup shape with her hands.

“You are such a charmer.” You tell her, smirking as blush rose onto your cheeks.

“Quickly now.” She replies, shrugging for you to get over the gate. Without another word, you grab onto the gate tightly, then place your foot in Ellie’s hands. With a few grunts, Ellie pushes you up as far as she can. Raising your hand up to the top, you grab on tightly and scurry all the way up the gate like a squirrel going up a tree. You didn’t realize how tired your body was until now, when it needed all your strength to pull the other half of your body up. With some effort however, and some more help from Ellie by pushing on the bottom of your shoes, you managed to get to the top and jump to the bottom on the other side.

“Alright, nice. Now open the gate.”

You place your hands on the handlebars of the gate, pulling towards you, with a bit of force into it. However, the gate wasn’t moving. You sigh, looking over all the vines and leaves covering the fence and the fence gate. They were tied together, but not as if they grew together like that. You trace your finger over the vines, the soft and moist texture you are used to was not what you felt. It was rough and dry.

“These aren't real.” You tell her, pulling out a knife as you cut at the fake plants. “Someone put them here.”

“Well, that's not good, but it's not bad either.” She answers, looking around her. “Means someone is here to protect this place. It can’t just be one person either.”

“Stay on your toes.” You tell her, pulling open the gate as Ellie quickly makes her way into the courtyard. You both close it back with ease, looking around one last time before making your way towards the building. The building up close looks like a paper mache brick being held together with string. It looked like it could collapse at any moment, so you told this to Ellie. She understood what you meant and shared your fear of the collapse, but also mentioned that it likely wouldn’t happen if there were people here already. You knew you both couldn’t prove it yet, but you trusted Ellie’s instincts when she mentioned something like that.

With soft steps, you both entered the hotel. The front doors showed less restraint than the gate outside, which filled you with hope. Even though you were worried as well, it didn’t stop your ambition. This was the closest you’ve gotten to Jesse since you and Ellie left Jackson a few months ago. Even if Jesse wasn’t in this building, or even in the immediate area, Seattle was the only lead you two had. A strong one at that. You couldn’t let it go to waste.

It was eerily silent within the hotel, but you and Ellie stood close together and made sure to check in with one another every time you each finished checking a room for infected. Every room you walked into, every floor you went up. You didn’t want a repeat of the garage.

On the fifth floor, the floorboards beneath your feet began to creak at any movements. Your heart rate increased at this, and you gripped onto your knife a bit harder. Walker over to the first door on your right, you leaned into the old, moist wood, listening to the other side before barging in. With no sounds arousing your suspicion, you placed a hand on the door handle, twisting it and opening it slowly. Peaking into the room, which was filled with dusty furniture and broken glass. Not too different from the other rooms you and Ellie looked through. You confidently opened the door all the way, taking a few steps within, the light from the sun finally seeping through the old and dusty blinds.

Suddenly, you feel an arm wrap around you, and the sharp, cold edge of a blade against your neck. With a gasp, you quickly move your hands up in the air, and instinctively drop your knife to the ground.

“Good job Wolf, didn’t have to even say anything. Now, give me your bag.” The familiar male voice sent a shiver through your spine. It was rougher and deeper than you remembered it, but it had been months since you last heard his voice.

“Jesse?” You speak. You feel the blade leave your skin slowly, the person behind you falling silent. As the knife gets a good distance away from your neck, you turn around.

There he was, right there in front of you. Jesse. He was very dirty, dried bits of blood scattered across his face. His hair was also a lot longer than you remembered it, going past his ears a bit.

“Oh God… You look like crap.” You whisper, covering your mouth as the feeling of chlorine fills your nose.

“Still better looking than you.” He answers back, then he smiles. You step towards him, placing a hand on his cheek. With a closer look, you could see the blood was his own, a deep incision on his cheekbone. He flinched a bit at your touch, and you released slowly.

“Sorry.” You tell him.

“It's fine. How is everyone back home?” He questions. It takes you a moment to respond, you were still shocked that you managed to find him.

“Everyones fine.” Jesse nods, looking down at the floor. “So is Dina.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Mhm, sure.” You giggle at Jesse as his face turns a bright red.

“So who all came with you?”

You hum softly, shrugging. “Ellie.”

“And?”

“That's it.”

“You two came on your own?” Jesse raised his voice, then looked around, lowering it once more. “Are you insane? That’s really stupid, especially for the two of you! Who knows what could've happened?”

“A lot happened. A smaller group was a better idea anyways.” You reply, noticing his eyes staring at your right arm. The arm where your new scar laid, and where a deep gash was just a few months ago from the radio station.

“When did that happen?”

“A few months ago. It’s not a big deal, Jesse.”

“How many times did you both almost die?”

“Quite a few, but we can handle ourselves! You know this? How many times have we gone on runs together and just made it back?”

“More than I’d like to admit to Maria, that's for sure.”

“We are fine.”

You both fall silent, and after a few moments, you watch as Ellie appears in the open doorway.

“Holy sh-”

“Sup.”

Ellie quickly embraces Jesse, giving him a swift, strong hug. You smiled down at the ground, your cheeks turning hot. The soft side of Ellie was one you always loved to see, and a welcome sight compared to her indifferent side you recently saw as you traveled together.

“Took you two long enough.”

“You didn’t make it easy for us, Jesse.” Ellie responds, placing her hand in her brown hair. “Jesus, you scared us.”

“Trust me. I know, I feel terrible.”

“We thought..” The words were stuck in your throat, a tear began to stream down your cheek. “We thought we’d never find you. We’ve been gone from Jackson since the day after you stopped responding to the radio.”

“That long? Does anyone know you left?” Jesse asks. You and Ellie both stay silent, and Jesse sighs.

“Alright. Guess it's time to go home then.”

“No.” Ellie murmurs. You and Jesse both look towards her, and Ellie looks back to you. “Remember.. They are going to find Joel.”

You raised an eyebrow, confused at first, then you remembered. “Yes. The WLF, they are trying to find Joel.”

“What? Why? How do you know this?”

“We found a diary from one of the soldiers in a house not too far from the radio station. It said the leader's name, Isaac.”

“I heard that name before…” Jesse says, looking down to the ground as he scratches his head.

“What exactly happened at the radio station, Jesse?” You ask him, turning towards him.

“I was surrounded. I had no clue they were there until they were on top of me. I was in the break room, just grabbing something to eat before I continued walking back home. They jumped me right as I walked out.”

“Did you hear anything?”

“Heard their scrambling, that's for sure. I heard the name Owen… Abby. They talked about those two like they weren’t there though, so I don’t think the group that got me was with them. But, on the way here, they talked about home. Talked about how they would torture me to get information out of me. A few nights ago, they stopped at this building, and as one of them let me go to the bathroom, I jumped on him.” He turns towards you, shaking his head. “This whole city was guarded relatively well. I’m surprised you two managed to get by.”

Ellie hums, nodding to him. “We didn’t see anyone, but we moved in the shadows pretty well. I don’t think anyone saw us.”

“Well, if anyone did, they would’ve gotten reinforcements. There are a lot of them.”

“Then we better take them out while we have the strength to.” Ellie says, looking at you. You widen your eyes, wondering what she was thinking.

“Woah, Ellie, we came all the way here to find Jesse. We found him, let's go home!” You plead, taking her hand.

“I know you're scared, but you said you're willing to go far. ‘I’m more than willing.’” Ellie repeats your words, and you shake your head quickly.

“To find him, not to hurt people! Let’s just go home, please. There are only three of us. We won’t last that long anyways.”

“Ellie, (Y/N) has a point. We can’t just bust in there. None of us are battle ready. None of us can take on that many people.”

“They don’t know there are three of us. They only know there is one of you.” Ellie tells Jesse, walking over to the window. “We just have to be smart about this. With the three of us in the shadows, they have no chance. We each can hold our own well, well enough to do plenty of damage and get away fast. Then, we meet back here.”

“That’s not a plan, Ellie. We can only hope to do enough damage, and even if we did, what’s the hope they don’t attack Jackson anyways? Find Joel, Maria, Tommy. Everyone else we care about? Our failure to make a dent will be their anger towards us only more so. We need to go home and tell everyone!”

“If they had any idea if we would be coming for you, they would never expect us to attack. They would expect us to go home. We can’t, we will lead them right there.”

You frown gently at Ellie’s idea. With each word she spoke, you could’ve sworn she was being greedy. Craving it. She wanted to do something about these people. They already kidnapped Jesse. Her plan was flawed, but doing nothing would put Jackson at risk. All those innocent people. The kids. You didn’t want that blood on your hands.

“Fine. We will do our best then.”

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this.” Jesse says, placing his hands on his hips. You turn to Jesse, shaking your head gently. You weren’t happy about it either, but you couldn’t just walk away and do nothing.

“They have to pay, Jesse.”

“You say this like they did something terrible to me!”

“They were going to! You heard them yourself!” You cry out, placing a hand on Jesse’s shoulder. “Think about Dina… If we brought these people back to Jackson…”

“She would want you to deal with them.” Ellie tags in, walking closer to both you and Jesse. She then lays a hand on your hip. You believed it comforted her more than it was meant to comfort you.

Jesse stands there, looking down at the two of you. You could understand why he didn’t want to do it. After all the three of you went through the past few months, all of you wanted to go home. Even Ellie, who seemed so eager to spend more time here, wanted to go home. You didn’t want to question it.

“Fine. Come here.” Jesse gestures the two of you towards the other room, and you and Ellie both follow closely. Jesse leads the two of you to the window in a bedroom, kneeling down on the ground.

“See that all the way over there.” Jesse points to the road below, towards a subway entrance.

“Yeah?” Ellie answers, looking at it.

“There is our way to their base. It's a football stadium not too far away, but walking there above ground wouldn’t be the best idea.”

“So we take the subway? And walk all the way there?” You ask, looking towards Jesse. He nods, but then he holds up his finger.

“The only unfortunate thing about this is the subway entrance. It leads into what I think is a camp area for them. After watching them for days though, I’ve noticed that every time a group leaves, the other group doesn’t arrive until five to ten minutes afterwards. That gives us more than enough time to run down there after the first group leaves later tonight. As soon as we do, we run down there, grab some supplies, if there is any, and quickly head towards the stadium.”

“How many are in a group?” You ask.

“About six each, only one group so far this past week has had more, but that was the group that greeted mine.”

“Wait, where are they? The group you were a part of?” Ellie asks Jesse.

“You think you're the only one that can hold your own?” He asks, smiling at Ellie. “Just don’t check out the dumpsters.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Ellie shakes her head. “You’re strong. Me and (Y/N) both knew it. We had high hopes you were still alive when we were coming to find you.”

“I don’t doubt it for a minute. I know the two of you were just dying to see me again.”

Ellie rolls her eyes, and you respond by punching Jesse’s shoulder.

“Alright. Let's do this then. We wait for a few hours, then we head there right as this group down here leaves.”

You look over to Ellie, a shimmer of determination in her eyes. Her auburn hair was brighter in the sunlight, and her freckles were easier to see. You smiled softly at the sight. No matter what happened, you knew you could always trust her.

The day slowly turned to dusk, and with it came the gentle, cool spring breeze. You and Ellie agreed to stay up, letting Jesse sleep in the same hotel room you first found him in. He was exhausted, and you could tell just by the way he swayed back and forth and the dark circles under his eyes. As much as he said he wasn’t tired, you didn’t believe him. You practically forced him to lie down. However, he would only take the old sofa in the living room, leaving the bed to you and Ellie to share.

You made sure nothing was wrong with Jesse as he slept, hoping as you checked his body for cuts and bruises, you didn’t wake him. Thankfully, he was in the deepest sleep you’ve ever seen, and instead of waking, he snored like a newborn.

You walked back into the bedroom, looking at Ellie as she sat on the bed. The back of the bed was against the wall that had the door to the room, and it was facing a nice dresser that once had a gorgeous mirror. Now, it was broken, and completely covered the floor near it. The carpet floor was covered in nasty stains, some of which you were glad you had no clue what they were.

Ellie was on the right side of the bed, looking towards the window. You saw the diary you two found months ago when you both started your journey, settled on her hands. She was in her usual ripped button up shirt, the same one she always wore that looked so good on her.

Without saying a word, you turned your back towards the bed and flopped right onto it. The bed barely squeaked under your weight, and with a heavy sigh, you allowed yourself to sink into the bed. You hear Ellie laugh under her breath as you do, and all you do is laugh back.

“I don’t care if it's old and dusty… This is sooo comfy.” You say out loud, spreading your arms out to enjoy the feeling of the cushion beneath you. Ellie closes the diary and turns her body, laying on her back as she looks up to the ceiling. You adjust yourself, laying beside her. Your back and shoulders ached carrying around your bookbag all day everyday. You could only imagine how bad Ellie’s felt, knowing she had the larger bookbag, so she carried the most supplies.

“Enjoy it. This might be the last good night's sleep we will have in a while.” She places the diary on the side table, then turns her body to its side, facing you.

“God. Don’t even say that. I don’t want this to end.” You groan, looking at Ellie. She was sitting herself up with her arm, looking down at you with a smile on her lips. It made you blush, her sweet, freckled face looking down at you like that.

“Just get some rest. We have a lot to worry about later.”

“And what if I want to stay up?”

“Then you can do that. No one is stopping you.” She concluded. As you both sat in a nice, comfortable silence, you couldn’t help but think back to everything that happened the past few months. Jesse goes missing, you and Ellie almost die trying to find him, you run into people that want to find Joel and possibly hurt him, then you finally find Jesse, which he almost kills you.

“Wow.”

“What?”

“You know how time flies… It feels like yesterday was twenty minutes ago… Last month was yesterday?” You question. Ellie hums, then nods.

“It felt like the opposite. I feel like we have been on the road for so long and I haven't taken a breath yet.”

“Never thought of it that way before.” Ellie expressed, shrugging. “I barely paid any attention.”

“Not even as you are sitting here?”

“I’m not worrying about it?”

“Why not?” You wonder out loud, looking away from Ellie as you stare at the ceiling.

“I care more about this now. What I have in front of me.”

You felt your heart skip a beat at her words. As you laid on the bed, you could feel Ellie’s finger draw small circles on your arm. They slowly turned into spirals, going up and up and up. Goosebumps rose onto your skin, and you shuddered a bit.

“Even if you know we might die tomorrow?”

“I don’t care about tomorrow because everything will go exactly as planned.”

“It’s not always like that, Ellie.” You exhaled, looking back at her as she looked down at you with those big green eyes of hers.

“I don’t care. This is how it’ll happen. We will walk into that subway, down to the football stadium. We will set that place ablaze and kill anyone that tries to kill us. We will save Jackson. We will survive. You will survive.”

You stayed silent for a moment, noticing Ellie’s fingers were wrapped around your tank top string, and with every second that passed, she twisted her fingers around it more. You could feel the cloth scratch at your skin and her rough knuckles brush against you. Your breath got caught in your throat, and you just now noticed how close Ellie was to your lips.

“You aren’t a god, you know? Not everything will go your way.” You quip, smirking softly as you trace your fingers against her jawline.

“It doesn’t matter what I am. I won’t let anyone take anything from me ever again. Not even you.”

With those words, you breathe out happily. No matter where you were and what would happen, as long as Ellie was with you, you were invincible.

Before you get a chance to say anything else to her, Ellie’s lips crash into yours in a lustful, wet passion that no one could stop. Your need for her at first was nothing compared to now. Your hand found its way into her hair, gently cradling her head and keeping her as close to you as possible.

You could feel her legs tangle up with your own, but you had to admit you were barely paying attention. You were focused on her lips. Her sweet, perfectly sculpted lips. You thought the first few kisses with her were amazing, but wow, this was unlike anything you thought you could experience. The way she not only worked her lips, but the way she placed her hands on your body, sending lighting through your body with the slightest touch. You are a mess, and she was only going to make you messier.

You finally caught a breath as Ellie released from the kiss, but she only made her way to the skin beneath your ear. As if she wasn’t already making you go crazy, she just had to make it so much worse. Biting and kissing at your sensitive skin, you tried your best to hold back any noises that could’ve seeped from your mouth. But each time she bit, she didn’t seem satisfied. She would get a moan out of you one way or another, and she was nowhere close to finishing.

As she released her hold on your neck, your fingers were finding their way up to her shirt, and finally found the buttons. As you struggled to undo her shirt, she only laughed under her breath as you did so terribly. She took over, pulling it over herself, then taking off your tank top. Both of you are now shirtless, the wind coming in from the window doing little to nothing to the heat within the room now. You would've been surprised if you felt any kind of chill anytime soon.

You sat up, kissing Ellie again as you set your fingers against the belt on her jeans. She followed close behind you, and each of you shimmied out of your clothing that was oh so uncomfortable now, considering the circumstances. If you thought seeing Ellie’s biceps caused you to lose breath, you were not ready for her toned abs. Your face turned a deep red at the sight, but you were quickly focused right back on her eyes as she cupped your face.

“Your so fucking perfect.” She whispered under her breath. Because of her words, all you could do was bite your lips, enticing her to kiss you more. Again and again. All you wanted was her at this moment.

“So have me then.”

She obliged. She pushed you back down onto the bed, first kissing at your lips, biting and nibbling at them. She then went down, each kiss sending sparks of electricity through your body, each one stronger than the last.

“E-Ellie…” You begin to moan, then you quickly cover your mouth. The last thing you wanted was to wake up Jesse because you were indulging too much.

“Don’t worry about him. He hasn’t slept in days. Doubt he’d hear a thing.” Ellie advised. For a moment, you almost didn’t believe her. It was a trick, a way of making you turn into a little puddle for her right then and there. Then, you thought, Who gives a fuck?

Ellie’s kisses got dangerously close to your core, so you moved your hips up slowly, almost pushing her away. However, she used her own body weight to push you back down and begin kissing at your panty line. Only small, shuddering breaths were escaping your lips at this point. You were waiting for her to make her first move. You could only imagine what she would do, and that only made you hotter and wetter than before.

She hungrily pulled down your panties, first planting kisses on your core, almost carelessly. She was like a natural, not afraid at all. It was enough to make you moan, for real this time. Her hot breath landed on your snatch just perfectly, and with each kiss, they got wetter and there was more tongue. She was eating you out with a passion, and at this point, it was so ethereal, it was like a dream. Your legs began to cramp as you tried to pull away, not because you wanted to, but because it was so good it was impossible to stay still. Ellie’s hands, however, were immovable and were placed gracefully under your thighs.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any better, you feel a digit insert into your core. You gasped aloud, covering your mouth instinctively. Ellie’s hands, no longer on your thighs, were placed at your snatch. But, one of her hands trailed up to your face and pulled your own away, making you helpless to her and her actions.

“Ellie, that's not fair.” You whine out. Although you were half joking, not minding this slightly dominant side she was showing, she inserted two more fingers within you, as if to punish you for even thinking of hiding.

“Fuck~!” You cried out happily, her fingers curling perfectly against all your sensitive spots. Spots you yourself didn’t know you had. You were at her mercy and we entirely hers at this moment, but you didn’t care. You felt nothing but bliss.

With each stroke of her fingers and her tongue together, a familiar, yet different feeling rose in your core. It came closer and closer, and with each second your moans became louder and louder. And Ellie wouldn’t stop. She was going faster. She was going to make sure you reached the perfect, euphoric state that you deserved, that you both were building up to.

Finally, with one last curl of her fingers, waves began to pulse through your body at full blast. It was like nothing you ever felt and nothing you yourself would have ever done. It felt like it lasted forever, that perfect high that Ellie gave to you. You thought you could hear gentle words come out of her mouth, but mostly all your heart was your own heartbeat.

“Ellie?”

“You made a mess of yourself, (Y/N),” Ellie whispers, looking up at you from where she laid. She sat up, the sound of dripping liquid from her fingers landing onto the mattress. “And the bed.”

“S-Sorry…” You whispered. You were not sorry. You had the best orgasm you had ever felt. You’d never be sorry.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you could make it up to me~”

#ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #lesbian #tlou2 fanfic #tlou part 2 #tlou2 x reader #women loving women #ellie tlou

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gammagoop · 9 months

Text

Random Acts of Kindness

Small Limited Life fic I wrote for fun ^_^

Featuring Grian and Etho, with other members mentioned (do not tag as ship)

Warnings: emetophobia, lots of anxiety, and talks of death

Words: 1,574

fic is under the cut ⬇️

“Do you want to enact the sword?”

Etho stood, above him, higher than him, in the dirt and ruins of wooden structures. They were almost unrecognizable, as if decades had rotted away the wood and weather had trampled the crops. Joel had tilled this same sweat-soaked soil just a few weeks prior.

Grian’s face lit up at this, seeming to react with real emotion for the first time since Joel had gone out. He dropped his own weapon onto the ground, not bothering to consider the danger of doing so in the tidal wave of emotion.

“YES! Yes! I want to enact the sword!” He clapped his hands together.

His world hit him like a train, like a surprise thunderstorm, his mind reeling as he grasped desperately onto this new semblance of an ally. Etho was close enough to his state. He still had Impulse, but Impulse wasn’t here.

“Oh my god!” His breath ran out of him in a huff, and he felt dizzy all of a sudden, heart pounding blood in his ears.

Etho laughed how he always did, jumping down heavily onto the dirt below and tucking his weapon— the titular sword— away as well. A sign of peace, of agreement.

Grian couldn’t help himself, he reached out and grabbed Etho’s hands, pulled them near his chest and squeezed them. Felt Etho’s blood running in his veins under his fingernails, how warm another body could be.

Etho squeezed back as if he didn’t know what to do. His eyes squinted a bit like an awkward smile.

“I— I—“ Grian was suddenly aware of a tremor through his body, making him feel nauseous. He stepped back shakily, panting, blood loud, releasing his ally’s hands.

“Oh, Etho, I— Don’t feel so good—“

He bent and lurched and vomited into the mud.

“Oh,” Etho said, surprised, unsure, “Are you okay? You’re not sick, are you? You can rest if…”

Grian lifted his head “No— I—“ He heaved a bit. “I’m fine. It… happens,”

“Anxiety?”

“Yeah, that would be it wouldn’t it,”

Etho’s eyes softened, and he fumbled through his inventory for a minute. He pulled out a flask of water, and outstretched an arm to offer it to Grian.

“Drink this, I filled it up with clean water around 30 minutes ago,”

Grian already had water, he thought, but took it anyway. He stumbled over to the end of the bridge, where the wood was, and sat down among the upturned roots of potatoes, legs feeling too tired to hold him anymore. He drank about a third of the flask in two large swigs, just to get the acrid taste out. Etho sat down next to him, more smoothly, and put a hand on his back.

“Don’t go too fast,” He warned.

Grian panted heavily. “Right, yeah, don’t wanna barf again,”

“Mhm…”

They sat like that for a minute. It was nighttime, the sky cloudy enough to obscure the moon.

Grian caught himself expecting to hear the footsteps of Skizz on Skynet below, or the shouting from the clockers, or an explosion somewhere, or Jimmy and Joel running back to the mansion with their hair sticking out and damp from sweat, a bit bloodied, Jimmy stumbling a bit, and looking for Grian.

But it was quieter than it ever had been, trees rustling in waves against the wind.

“…Do you miss your teammates?”

Etho asked, as if it wasn’t obvious. Grian laughed dryly.

“What gave you that idea?”

A pause.

“I think we all do,” Etho responded, unhelpfully.

“You still have Impulse,” Grian pointed out, “Pearl still has BigB and BigB has Pearl. Scott and Martyn are probably going to make it to the very end together— and the Clockers can all be a happy family together in the sky,”

He looked up, as if to see them there. They might be watching, he supposed. He wouldn’t put it past them— out of everyone left on the server, they probably wanted to look down on Grian and Etho the most. He wondered if Jimmy and Joel were watching too. He wondered if they were even still floating around this world, or if they’d long since moved on. It made him feel dizzy again so he tried not to wonder too much.

“Yeah…”

The air was stiff between them. Grian pulled his knees in to sit criss-cross. Etho seemed to be listening to the sounds of the night, the shuffling of the living things below. It was always hard for Grian to tell what Etho was thinking, and he figured that must be the case for everyone. Maybe that’s why Scar was afraid of him.

Grian wasn’t afraid of Etho, not really. He wasn’t any more afraid of Etho than he was of Tango or Martyn or anyone else on the server. But he did feel squirmy around him, like he wasn’t meant to be there. He felt like he had to prove himself to even stand in proximity to Etho— but Etho didn’t seem to want that. There was nuance in the way the other man tapped his pinkie finger against his knee. Maybe he wasn’t coming up with some mastermind scheme to reinvent the and-gate — maybe he was just trying to think of what to say.

Joel had been paired with Etho in the time prior to this one. Random chance, of course, but they’d seem to hit it off quite well. Joel was just better with people than Grian was— he was more casual, if he made a mistake he brushed it off and kept rolling forward. Maybe there was something to the whole positive self-talk thing.

Confidence. Grian recalled it now, Jimmy telling him about the encounter he and Joel had had with Skizz. The affirmations, Grian remembered his own well.

Skizz had hit the nail on the head with each one of them, probably the whole server if he had to guess. Joel was confident, and Jimmy was quick, and Grian was a leader, and Grian was alone. And Grian was alone. And his Jimmy and Joel were dead. Grian was alone.

Grian let out a sudden sob, and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses.

“You haven’t really been alone before,” Etho murmured.

For all his generic comments before, Grian felt like Etho had looked right into his soul for that one.

“Guess I haven’t” Grian mumbled back.

Etho didn’t say anything for a bit as Grian cried, tears puffing up his eyes and cheeks, not really caring anymore about trying to quiet himself.

“I— I just,” his voice trembled, “I don’t know what to do with myself,”

He was snotty and red-faced now. He removed his glasses, “Can you hold these?” He handed them to Etho, who obliged, and pressed his palms to his wet eyes.

He sniffed, and coughed a bit.

“Etho, honestly I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t remind me of this. I could’ve gone out— I would’ve gone out,”

“I don’t know, you’re pretty good at surviving,”

“No, like—“ Grian squeezed his hands into fists, feeling his fingernails dig little crescent divots into his raw and worn palms. He glanced down, and then away from Etho.

“I would have gone out on purpose,”

Etho was silent for a moment.

“Oh,”

Then,

“Can I ask why?”

Grian opened his mouth, but his brain didn’t produce any words for him to say. He made a small noise in the back of his throat, and coughed.

“I don’t know…”

He said, feeling small.

“I just… I was thinking, that whole time with Pearl and BigB, like… I felt like I didn’t really… belong? Anymore? That there wasn’t anyone out there for me, anyone to go home to, like all my relationships had become temporary. Like… I don’t know. Like there wasn’t really… a point…,”

He grimaced, shifting uncomfortably.

“It sounds really bad when I put it like that,”

Etho was quiet. God, he was always so quiet. Grian almost wanted to scream to drown out the silence. He swallowed thickly, hands fidgeting and pulling tufts of weeds from the dirt, digging his fingers into the soil.

“But you didn’t,” Etho finally spoke.

“No, I didn’t get to,”

Etho hummed, idly cleaning Grian’s glasses with the hem of his shirt. Grian hadn’t realized how dirty they’d gotten, dusty and smattered with grime.

“I guess… maybe it proves something, yeah? If you had, you wouldn’t be here now. I would have never, uh, reminded you. Proves there’s… there’s always gonna be more, out there for you to find…. to…. be with,”

“This, too, shall pass,” Grian murmured like a recollection.

“Uh, yeah,” Etho said.

He raised his hand and hesitated, before gingerly patting Grian on the shoulder.

Grian looked up at him, met his eyes. He leaned into the touch, and then into a hug. His wet cheeks stained Etho’s jacket, but new tears didn’t fall.

They parted, and Grian grunted, shaking himself out. Etho gave him his glasses back, and he smiled back at him in thanks.

They each stood, Etho smooth and Grian shaky.

He thought about Joel lightheartedly teasing him for being sappy, he thought about Jimmy asking him if he was okay. He thought about Etho, standing beside him, gloved palms hoisting Grian up from his cliff, and onto solid ground again.

“Thank you,” He said, “You really didn’t have to do that,”

Etho laughed, “What else was I going to do?”

#limited life #limited life fic #fanfic #omg ive never posted a fic like this. hi guys #life series #mcyt #ethoslab #etho #grian #others mentioned #idk what to even tag this as. i dont have a fic tag.#shrug

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moonlight-prose · 1 year

Text

THE LAST OF US MASTERLIST

a/n: below you can find all the works that i have created for the show/game the last of us! they're all on this post, but in the future some of the characters might get their own masterlist post.

Under no circumstances may you steal my work, say it’s yours, or post it somewhere else. The writings I put on here are mine unless stated otherwise.

smut =🔥| angst =💫 | fluff =🌙

JOEL MILLER

Hurt (series) | 18+🔥| ONGOING

Summary: Alone and trying to survive, you find your path crossing with a man who’s headed to Boston of all places. He claims he’s looking for a new start, not realizing you might be it.

Pale Rider |💫

Summary: Grief was a noose and he did what he could to loosen it before he lost you too.

From Eden, Love Grows | 18+🔥| dedicated to: @/saradika

Summary: Days spent in flower fields and cooking in a sunbathed kitchen with him.

Marks Of The Damned | 18+🔥

Summary: His scars were his secrets, his pain he never shared.

The Wasteland Of A Bleeding Heart |💫

Summary: Joel’s fears began to interfere.

View From The Bridge |💫

Summary: The past was off limits, but at what cost?

Warm Glow | 18+🔥| dedicated to: @/sunflowersteves

Summary: His love felt as warm as the afternoon sun.

More and More | 18+🔥

Summary: “He wanted to know every part of you, everything you kept hidden for fear of it being rejected. And you let him.”

Be Still My Foolish Heart |🌙

Summary: “Yet somehow—despite you never realizing it—Joel always ended up with you.”

A Poison That Never Stung | 18+🔥| UPCOMING

Way Down We Go | 18+🔥| UPCOMING

Blackthorn Tree | 💫

Summary: You needed to protect him as much as he needed to protect you. The only problem was…Joel believed he didn’t need caring for. He didn’t need protecting.

Thrills | 18+🔥| Kinktober 2023

Summary: “He sought you out in the darkness of your shared home and found what he knew would keep him from dipping beneath the surface again. And you let him.”

Safe Haven | 18+🔥| Kinktober 2023

Summary: “Being with Joel felt like breathing. As if you’d stepped outside for the first time in eons, soaking in the fresh air that emanated from the trees. It was clear. A constant fixated piece of nature that you knew would never fade.”

Sweet Words of Sin | 18+🔥| Kinktober 2023

Summary: “There was a certain high that came from this. Having a man like joel miller relenting to your every word, all to hear those sweet words fall from your lips. As delicious as a glass of wine and just as sinful.”

Sweetened Breath and Tongue So Mean | 18+🔥| Kinktober 2023

Summary: “Joel couldn’t fathom what you saw in him. a man bloodied with the ravages of life. He’d taken life, killed to survive, and there were times he even fucking enjoyed it. But you were soft. You were the good that remained. The light he shouldn’t be allowed to tarnish.”

TOMMY MILLER

It Will Come Back | 18+🔥

Summary: Mornings in the kitchen with him made life worthwhile.

Last Night On Earth | 18+🔥| UPCOMING

Dreadful Need | 18+🔥

Summary: “You wanted to see his smile fade as the realization struck him that he would have to work for it tonight.”

Falling |🌙

Summary: “A fleeting moment of you being tugged forward and wrapped into the safety of his arms. It ignited something in you. caused your heart to quicken its pace whenever he was around—reminding you of what he felt like so close.”

Lover Be Good To Me | 18+🔥| Kinktober 2023

Summary: “How you managed to be the lucky winner in this draw called life, you’d never know. Tommy was kind, good to you in a way no other person ever had been before.”

Wretched and Joyful | 18+🔥| Kinktober 2023

Summary: “He would be your end and all that came next. He’d be your consequence in a world that sought out punishment rather than forgiveness. Your small slice of joy in the wretched ways of reality.”

How Stars Shine in Darkness | 💫

Summary: In darkness stars shine. In pain…your love glows. And when all hope feels lost, Tommy Miller thinks of you.

The Breaking of Glass | 💫

Summary: You could remember his smile most of all. How it shone brighter than the sun on most days. How his curls nearly always fell into his eyes. But most of all…you remembered how he loved you.

First Light (series) | 18+🔥| COMING SOON

Summary: Tommy Miller never thought he would end up alone. Not when he had family behind him - a life that wasn't perfect, but good enough. Yet there he was, kneeling on the cold forest floor - bloodied and bruised - asking to die. Until light streams through the trees, and he sees you.

#the last of us fic #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller smut #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x y/n #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller smut #my writing #the last of us

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jksprincess10 · 11 months

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Dressed for revenge 5. Rest in hell

A/N: this is already the end of the first arc ! Fear not, more is coming. In this chapter, you’ll see Ghost getting closer to Ellie and Joel.

CW: violence, shooting (mentions of kids and a teenager being shot), whipping, a bit of gore, nightmares, but lots of comfort.

Masterlist for this fic

Minutes before, the Haven

Joel enters the house after sneaking behind the two guards at the entry and slamming a knife into their skulls. His steps are quiet, steady, calculated. He has done this before.

The adrenaline.

The blood.

So much blood.

Every time he sees someone, he shoots coldly, eyes blank like the eyes of a killer. He doesn’t even blink under the sound of the bullets meeting their hopeless victims. Doesn’t matter if they’re a man, a woman, or a kid. He can’t let anyone live. Not after they all lived through hell. He could only speculate it was close to Hell.

No one here deserved it.

But no one deserved to keep living after keeping their eyes closed on the torture endured by one of them.

A kid, around 12, points a gun at him. But he’s faster.

“I’m sorry.” He says as the small boy’s body falls and paints the wood of the house red.

They were all killing machines, built to serve their one master.

Joel keeps eliminating targets and follows the sound of Ghost’s screams.

He reloads and kicks the door open with his steel-toe boot and points the gun. He can barely see, but he can distinguish Ghost’s bloody and torn skin, and the shape of a whip flying in the air. A man is sitting in the corner.

“Stop. Now.”

Thomas stops, turns around to get to him, but he’s too slow. One bullet. He’s down.

Joel approaches the preacher, who puts his hands up. Asking for mercy now? What a coward.

“Are you the leader?”

“Yes, welcome, brother.” He smiles.

“Good. I’m here to kill you. In their name. You might want to say a little prayer.”

“I don’t need to. God is always with me.”

As he’s talking, Joel aims at his mouth. One shot there, tearing through the other side. He couldn’t pray anymore.

Another one at his head for good measure.

The priest falls in the pits of Hell.

Joel comes out of his trance when he hears Ghost’s plea for help. He kneels beside them and undoes their binds. Their back is in terrible shape. The skin is in shreds, strips of skin barely holding on. He puts the remains of their shirt back on, to soak up the blood. They wince at the burning sensation. It was like their whole insides were on display.

“I know, I know… We have to go. Can you walk?”

“I think if I get up, I will just faint.” They seemed so weak, it was a miracle they were still awake.

“I got you.” Joel puts his rifle on his back, convinced that everyone was dead. The house was so old, he would hear the creaking of the floor anyway. He wraps his arms around Ghost’s body and lifts them up, like they’re a small child in his arms.

Like he held Sarah that night.

But he wouldn’t fail this time.

“I put… supplies and all my stuff in a bag in my room, under my bed. Let’s get them and we can leave. Third room to the left.”

They had been waiting so long to leave, they were always ready for this moment.

“Okay. I got it. You can rest. Hold tight and don’t look. Please, don’t look.” Joel begs.

“Just tell me he’s dead.”

“He is.”

At his words, he feels how their body releases the tension. Despite all they’ve been through.

Joel walks in the hallway, and Ghost hides their face in the warmth of Joel’s bloody shirt. They didn’t know if it was his blood, or someone else’s. He strides over the piles of bodies.

He makes it to their room, gets the bag. Ghost holds it close to their chest like a promise.

“I think we should burn this place, and the church to make sure.”

Ghost agrees.

No one should find this place again.

No one should make the same mistake Wyatt and Ghost did before.

Joel gets Ellie, while Ghost sits in front of the church and watches as the flames lick the structure, light up the leaves and everything around. The house has already fallen. There’s nothing left of those years of abuse, except the scars on their body.

They hear the steps of the horses in the snow.

“We have to put bandages on you and change your clothes.” Joel says.

“Okay… Can… Ellie do it?”

“Of course, I will.” Ellie says before Joel can respond. “Joel, turn around.” He does, arms crossed on his chest.

Ellie shuffles in the bag to find bandages and something to disinfect the wounds.

“Nice to meet you officially, Ghost.” She says to distract them as she cleans the painful stripes on their back. “Should I use they/them to refer to you?”

“Yes. Please.” They wince. “Thank you, Ellie.”

No one had the decency to ask before.

Ghost lets the remains of their t-shirt fall, and Ellie puts the bandages around their body, closing it on their chest. She doesn’t say anything about their large scars, or the fact that they don’t have nipples. She mostly focuses on the large tattoo of a woman with hair made of snakes in the middle of their chest.

“There you go, all wrapped up! Just like new.” She says as she helps them put a clean long-sleeved shirt on, and a coat.

Joel uses this as his cue to turn back around. “Let’s find somewhere to stay before it gets dark. Ellie, do you think you can ride the horse alone?”

“Yep, got it.”

The girl climbs on the horse. She seems to feel so much better, the antibiotics really did the work. Ghost is glad they could save at least one person in this tragedy. Joel climbs on the other horse and helps Ghost get up and straddle the beautiful beast. Ghost is hesitant, but they hold on to Joel’s chest while they start riding in the fading sun.

They think they can trust him.

But most men they knew were monsters.

Besides Wyatt.

Their last thought is for Wyatt as they pass the burning church.

They get to an abandoned house kilometers away, as far as they could get from the church. It’s pretty worn down, but it can do for the night. They have no choice, it’s too dark to keep moving.

“I’ll make sure the inside is safe.” Joel says as he gets down the horse.

Ghost didn’t argue; they were too weak to do anything anyway. And their bow burned with he fire. They couldn’t fight with their usual weapon.

While they wait, Ellie and Ghost gather some dry wood to make a fire. Once they hear Joel’s call, they go inside the house.

“Is it too late to ask if it’s okay for me to follow along?” Ghost asks to release the tension that was holding Joel and Ellie hostage since the attack of the Haven.

Joel chuckles weakly.

“I guess one more orphan doesn’t change much.” He shrugs and grabs the wood to get a fire started.

“So… what are we doing exactly?” Ghost asks as they rummage through their bag to check on what they have left. They move slowly, still in pain.

Some food. A sleeping bag. Some bandages. A lighter. A knife.

“We’re gettin’ Ellie somewhere important.” Joel answers simply as his face is lit up by the fire he started. They can see the crinkles of worries on the side of his eyes, the shining of some left-over blood on his cheek.

“Okay. Don’t tell me anything, I guess.” They joke.

“Sorry the old man is an asshole.” Ellie shrugs as she slugs down on an old, torn cushion. “You’ll like him eventually.”

“I’ve met my fair share of assholes, and I can say Joel isn’t too bad.”

“Can you two stop talking like I’m not in the room?” Joel groans as he feeds more wood to the fire.

“Nope.” Ellie says.

“No chance.” Ghost adds.

The older man rolls his eyes. Great. The 30-year-old is as bad as the kid.

“You two should rest. I’ll take watch.” Joel announces.

“No. You haven’t slept since I got hurt and you look like shit. I’ll take watch.” Ellie argues.

They both look at Ghost to decide. Finally, the pair has someone to settle their endless arguments.

“I think Ellie is right. Come on, Joel. Let’s find somewhere comfortable to sleep.”

Ellie smiles, satisfied and happy to have an ally.

They go through the empty rooms. And all they can find is one rundown mattress in a room opened to the living room. Joel lays his sleeping bag on the ground as Ghost puts theirs on the mattress to make a small cushion. They take off their coat – it was getting warmer with the help of the fire, and they lay on their side, on their sleeping bag. Joel settles on the floor.

Ghost looks at their unreal shadows, big and dark against the warm light of the fire. They wonder if Jeremiah and Thomas were in Hell. If there was any justice in this world.

Finally, they speak.

“You’re too old to sleep on the floor.”

“Fuck you.” Joel says as he stops resisting and puts his own sleeping bag next to Ghost’s. “I just didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” He lays on his bag, while Ghost is turned towards him, so they wouldn’t lay on their painful back. It was still bad – the blood had probably seeped through their shirt already. They’d deal with that in the morning.

“I appreciate your kindness.” Ghost says sincerely, even though they always sounded sarcastic. “Thank you, Joel.”

Joel has his eyes closed. Ghost can finally see him from up close; the prominent curve on his nose, the light scar on his cheek, the patchy beard that decorated his strong jaw.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“What?” Ghost asks numbly.

“What happened back there…”

“I don’t think I can retell the last 15 years of my life. Not yet.” They shrug. “Let’s just move forward.”

Joel seems relieved. He hated talking about the past, it reopened wounds.

Minutes later, he’s snoring peacefully, and they fall into an agitated sleep. They always had nightmares. Every day. Nightmares that were just part of their reality. Their physical pain was a constant reminder.

In that nightmare, Thomas and Jeremiah won.

At some point, they wake up, panting and crying. Joel opens his eyes instantly and turns to them.

“Shh, you’re safe…” He hesitates, then extends his arm to them, and they take it, getting closer. They bury their face in his broad chest, smelling Joel’s musky and masculine odor. It was different from any other man they smelled, which reassured them. Jeremiah and Thomas always smelled like the choking smoke of incense.

“What did they do to you…” Joel whispers, more to himself.

“T-They won, Joel, they won…”

His grip tightens.

“They’re dead, darlin’… wait… can I call you that? Ellie says I should use they…”

Joel’s little attention makes Ghost laugh, and they sniffle a little, wiping their tears away.

“Darling is fine. Don’t worry. I’ve been called worse.”

“Go back to sleep, you need it to heal. I won’t move. I’m here.” His fingers graze their buzzed hair.

END OF ARC 1

Taglist: @casa-boiardi @naynay2319 @ eddie-munson-dungeon-master @ dindjarins-brown-eyed-girl @ cutesyscreenname @ angel-with-a-heart @ scrambledslut @itgetsdark-x @cloverhasnobrain @toxicanonymity @cutesyscreenname @scrambledslut @wannab-urs @str84pedro

#dressed for revenge #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #ellie williams #joel miller x oc #joel miller x nboc #joel miller x non binary oc #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction

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elpickett · 6 months

Text

Blood Runs Red

a tommy miller fic where he's the more broken miller brother

Tomás Alejandro Casillas Miller had grown up well acquainted with blood: his own, Joel's, his mother's. The apocalypse hadn't changed much in that regard.

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Rating: T

Warnings: references to Joel's suicide attempt and child loss

Relationships: Tommy / Maria, Tommy & Joel, Tommy & Sarah, Tommy & Ellie

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51550372

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Full fic under the cut if you'd rather read things here

Tomás Alejandro Casillas Miller had grown up well acquainted with blood.

His grandfather's blood soaking the living room floor, making his parents flee their home to the USA when he was a toddler, moving to a different continent, to a country where they didn't speak the language, all to try and protect him and Joel. Tommy had never told his mother the way the blood seeping into their couch back in Chile had haunted his dreams for as long as he could remember, that it was his only memory of the home they'd left behind.

His mother's blood, loosened from her body by his father's fist when he'd had too much to drink, which had turned into his and Joel's blood by the time he was eight. He still had the scar on his arm from when the bone had gone clear through his skin when he was ten. He'd told Maria he'd been skateboarding when she'd first run her fingers over the raised mark, reminding her that 'scars are sexy, darlin',' not wanting to think too hard about how it had actually come about.

And then his father's blood, ripped from his body by a car a few short months after the broken arm (he'd often thought of the irony of his father killed by a drunk driver whilst almost definitely drink driving at the same time in a particularly nihilistic period he'd had as a teenager).

All of Joel's blood spilt trying to protect Tommy from bullies who made fun of his accent, his hair, the way he dressed. He'd switched to using Tommy then, deciding it wasn't worth Joel's blood to continue insisting that others called him Tomás. Deciding it wasn't worth more blood, even if it made him feel like a part of him was quietly dying, shedding the skin he'd grown up in.

Julia's blood, dripping down her face when she'd shown up at the Miller house when Tommy was 13, barely able to mutter the words 'I'm pregnant' to Joel before collapsing in a heap on their porch. It'd be another week until his mother had asked when Julia was going home before Julia managed to explain that she wasn't welcome at her parents' house anymore, to which his mother had pulled her into a tight hug and said she'd always wanted a daughter anyway. He'd thought it was odd then, seeing the tears drip down Joel's face as he realised he'd be a father before his nineteenth birthday, that his girlfriend (and that was a generous description of their relationship) would be living with them for the foreseeable future, that the liquid dripping down Joel's cheeks was clear and not the scarlet he had come to know so well.

The blood in the hospital room the first time he met his niece, fourteen and awkward with too long limbs, suddenly realising just how different it was going to be going forward. He'd cried then, too, realising his whole world had just realigned itself to orbit this little girl's life, and swore into her hair (already darker than his and Joel's, the curl pattern tighter) that the colour she would grow most used to wouldn't be the red he saw whenever he shut his eyes. It was a surprise to Tommy when Julia left without blood two years later, leaving behind only already signed divorce papers, an orange post note with the words 'I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry' scribbled in purple pen. It had been easier to help Joel with his bloodied knuckles than it had been to hold Sarah, sobbing her eyes out because her mother hadn't come to tuck her in at bedtime.

His own blood, then, was all he saw for the next three and a half years, getting into dumb fights at school, Joel's sighs ringing loud in his ears as he sat in the Principal's office and assured him that yes, he was Tommy's guardian (despite not being old enough to buy a beer, but it was better Joel went in to school to get him than their mother, who'd never quite managed to wrap her tongue around English), and yes, he would make sure that it didn't happen again. (It happened again). (And again). (And again).

And then the desert, the yellow sand turning a dirty rust colour from all the blood soaking into it. Tommy Miller was well accustomed to blood, yes, but he was used to it belonging to those he knew. Now everyone's blood mixed together, impossible to tell who it came from. Not that it mattered, he came to realise. The other American soldiers, those they were fighting, they all bled the same. And bleed they did. By the time Tommy came back to the US, nineteen, a veteran of Desert Storm and having seen the world in a way he had begun to think may have not been the best manner in which to do so, his hands were stained blood red whenever he looked at them. It took Sarah (four, almost almost five, so tiny and perfect and sweet, nothing like him or her grandfather or Julia, all Joel) twenty minutes to talk him down from scrubbing his hands raw when he babysat her while Joel was working late one evening, before he admitted to himself that he couldn't go on the way he was. He went back home to his tiny apartment, poured himself two fingers of the shitty whiskey he'd stolen from Joel's cupboard as payment for babysitting, and then called the therapist an army friend had given him.

The therapist never quite understood that the flashbacks and the nightmares and the dread sitting heavy in the pit of his stomach weren't from the blood, but from the fact he couldn't tell who's blood it was.

And then, again, his mother's blood. Cancer was never pretty, but Dios, was it awful. Isabella Casillas (she'd never taken her husband's name, her one act of rebellion against a husband who'd taken everything else from her) got the news from the doctor on a Tuesday, two weeks after Tommy had seen the blood she coughed into a handkerchief and she had told him it'd been happening for a while already. 'No quieres que os preocupéis' and 'necesitáis enfocar en mi nieta, estoy bien' were her repeated refrains as he and Joel hovered around the hospital bed, a six year old Sarah not fully understanding why all her free time was suddenly being spent in the hospital, but understanding the look on her father and uncle's faces. She didn't go quietly in the end, choking on the red until she slipped away. The red roses a neighbour brought over for him and Joel with a quiet 'I'm sorry for your loss' only reminded him of everything he'd lost, the colour matching the blood seeping from his palm after he'd dropped a glass and cut himself trying to pick up the pieces.

Tommy's next few years were spent working too long hours and helping Joel raise his daughter, and god, it terrified him, realising how much he could fuck her up. For all Joel's panic about not knowing what he was doing, Tommy knew he'd be fine. Joel had practically raised him, after all. He knew how to look after a child. Tommy, on the other hand, had no idea what he was doing. So he settled down (mostly), spending his free time with his niece, cleaning grazed knees from astroburn, a cut on her hand from when she tried to cook and the knife slipped. He always handled Sarah getting hurt better than Joel, too used to the way blood stained carpet and clung on under fingernails. Joel just panicked whenever his daughter was in a less than perfect state.

By the time Sarah was fourteen, Tommy had got his life mostly sorted. He still drank slightly too much, still had a tendency to go for women who he shouldn't (in his defence, she'd taken the wedding ring off before going to the bar), still tended to solve problems with his fists rather than his words. But he also had a stable job, the contracting firm he and Joel ran finally up and running mostly functionally, his own flat (not that he spent much time there), friends, and his niece. He and Sarah had always blurred the lines between being uncle and niece and siblings, Joel having raised them both in all the ways that mattered.

And then, the end of the world.

The blood flooding the jail cell as one of the other people in lockup suddenly went crazy, snarling and biting, before one of the cops finally stepped in with a bullet to the head.

The blood painting the road red as he and Joel tried desperately to get back home to Sarah, to make sure she wasn't the next person to spill their blood that night.

Sarah's blood, gushing over Joel, who was still clutching his daughter to his chest, as Tommy lifted the rifle a fraction of a second too slow to save his niece.

And Tommy saw, then, the moment Joel shattered, holding his daughter, suddenly unable to do anything. Tommy realised, in that moment, that while he'd always known the sight and smell of blood, Joel hadn't. Joel had somehow not become used to it, and had avoided the subtle comfort it gave Tommy. So Tommy watched his brother shatter in pieces, and could only stand there and think how he was a moment too slow in getting the soldiers blood to spill. A moment too slow to save his niece, the girl he'd helped Joel raise since he was still a kid himself. A moment too slow in stopping his brother becoming like him.

And then, two days later, after he'd finally persuaded Joel to bury Sarah under an old oak tree, Joel's blood, leaking from the head wound as Tommy found his brother, pistol still clutched in his hand, begging Joel to stay with him. Tommy realised, looking at Joel in that moment, that Joel had got used to blood, and decided to add his own to the river. And god, if that didn't hurt Tommy, who had watched blood spilt and never wanted more, but who had never purposely added his own to any serious degree.

In the years that followed, Tommy watched his brother become well acquainted with blood. Watched as his brother went from being kind, being patient to someone else, to someone who lived for the violence that the end of the world had brought. Tommy watched as he failed to stop Joel from turning into what he'd been since a child, since the first time he watched someone's life fade from their eyes as their life seeped out with their blood.

Soon, though, the blood stopped coming from Joel, from Tommy, became everyone else's. The Miller brothers gained a reputation as people who would do what was necessary to survive, to spill blood even when there was probably another way. It wasn't until later, much later, that Tommy looked back and realised Joel had done what he did to try and protect Tommy as best he could, to stop Tommy shattering the way he had the night he lost Sarah. What he'd missed was that Tommy had broken a long time before the end of the world.

It wasn't a surprise, really, that Tess entered their life in a flurry of red. Tommy and Joel had joined up with a larger group a year into the end of the world. They'd been heading vaguely north, following rumours that the infected were less active where it was colder, that the slowly appearing QZs were easier to slip in and out of then the QZs further south. Tommy and Joel had discovered that smuggling was an easy way to make ends meet, enough things still in houses that they didn't need to use threats of or actual violence too often. They met Tess by selling to her group - mainly ammo, some spices, some medication. She was the one to suggest they join up with their group, make use of the strength that came in numbers. Tommy had tripped over himself saying yes, dragging Joel along with him, seeing in Tess' eyes the same look that his won often had: not the haunted, emptiness of Joel's, but the resignation of someone who knew the world may have ended, but it wasn't that much worse than the world before. It was a disappointment but not a surprise to him when Tess called things off a few weeks into whatever was blossoming between them, the mirror they held up to each other showing something that neither of them wanted to look too close at. He knew he'd have called it off soon enough if she hadn't. It was even less of a surprise when he saw her slipping out of Joel's bed a few weeks later, because while Joel might make her his new purpose, his new reason for living (and Tommy tried not to be hurt by that, that he wasn't reason enough), at least Joel was the kind of broken that would hold Tess up rather than pulling her down to the ground with him as Tommy knew he would've done. And if Tommy had to clean blood off his knuckles several times over the next few weeks, if he was a little more willing to take the jobs that would inevitably end up in a hand to hand fight, well that wasn't anybody's business but his own.

By the time they got to Boston, four years later, the plans for Tess to get a flat and Tommy and Joel to share a second had morphed, quietly, into a 1 bed for Joel and Tess and a room in a shared flat for Tommy with a few of the other people they'd arrived with. They'd offered for him to share a flat with them, but he'd turned down the offer claiming he wanted independence (well, Joel had asked him to share, to which Tess had rolled her eyes and told him that if he wanted his brother involved in their sex life, then Joel should just invite Tommy into the bedroom and get on with it. Joel had frozen, not knowing how to respond, Tommy had mimed throwing up, and Tess had rolled her eyes as though her and Joel hadn't been fucking where Tommy could hear, and sometimes see, them for the last four years).

It became clear to Tommy in Boston that he and Joel had dealt with shattering very differently. Tommy was used to blood, it had always taken up a large portion of his life, but he had learnt to survive and to live despite it. He might be broken into a million shards of himself, each reflecting back a different facet of his life, but he could still function. He could pick up enough shards at once to deal with life in the apocalypse. He could smuggle with Joel and Tess and deal with the blood and also try to help people. He smuggled a lot of medicine at low prices to those who needed it in Boston, and made sure information got to the right people. He roughed up or quietly took care of FEDRA soldiers who'd gotten a little too fond of power. If there was going to be blood, he'd at least make sure it belonged to people who deserved it.

Joel however, had no idea how to handle all his shattered parts, had no idea how to function. Since losing Sarah he'd been completely adrift, smuggling only because it was a significantly easier (for some sense of the word) existence than staying in a QZ, or at least an existence with easy access to the drugs and alcohol Joel seemingly needed to function. He worked with Tess and Tommy by being the muscle, by letting Tess direct him with what to do, who's blood to spill, when and where. Joel had long since given up on the world, on trying to hold it together. It had taken his daughter from him, and for Joel, Sarah had always been his entire world. Tommy wandered sometimes if Joel even noticed the end of the world, so caught up with his grief.

Six months into Boston, Tommy met Marlene when she hired the Miller brothers and Tess to smuggle in ammunition for her fireflies. Marlene, with her whip smart mouth and her plans to try to make something good out of the end of the world. Marlene who'd definitely known Tess before (in the biblical sense of known), though neither of them had ever said anything aloud. Tommy knew what looking at an ex looked like though, he could read between the lines. Marlene with her belief that they could start fixing what FEDRA had ruined. Boston was a relatively good QZ, as they went, but FEDRA had started public executions shortly after Tommy had arrived in Boston, and it was always going to be downhill from there. Marlene had looked in Tommy's eyes, seen something just as broken as the world, and offered him a way to try and make it better. And sure, maybe Tommy didn't agree with all her methods, but when had anything ever been achieved without the loss of blood.

Six months after that, two days after a screaming match with Joel that still left him reeling, Tommy left Boston for the final time. He made sure to leave a note for Tess with details of how to get a message to him, hoping he hadn't wrecked whatever was between her and his brother by bringing up Sarah in front of Tess for the first time. Joel may have lost a daughter, but Tommy had lost the centre of his world too, and then had to watch as his brother slipped away too. Joel had never been the same after Tommy found him with blood running down his temple, had stopped being the brother Tommy had grown up with, who'd take hits so Tommy didn't. Stopped being the brother Tommy had watched pull double shifts to make sure he could cover the rent who'd go home to Sarah and help with homework even when what Joel really wanted was a whiskey and to fall straight into bed.

And so, six years after the world ended, Tommy left his brother, the only reminder of Joel the blood drying on his knuckles.

The next five years were a blur for Tommy when he looked back, a string of memories of camping in shitty, burnt out buildings, skirmishes with FEDRA, getting back into being a sniper. He'd always been good with a rifle, had some experience before Desert Storm and had come back even more comfortable with one, but over his years with the fireflies he became one of their best snipers, and saw a lot of the US he hadn't managed before. By the end of it, however, he was actively seeking a way out, somewhere to go that wasn't another QZ. Somewhere that he could do something other than cause more blood to be spilled, whether it was infected or FEDRAs or civilians who got caught in the way.

Tommy wandered, and in time, he wandered back to Austin. Back to the grave he'd somehow managed to find again, where he'd buried his niece and his brother. Back to Joel's house, mostly picked through by raiders, but who'd left the photo albums mostly intact. He took his favourites, and a leather jacket he'd spent too much money on in his twenties, and he kept wandering, heading vaguely north.

And then, Maria.

Maria, with her bright eyes and wary smile, cautious as to what he wanted (peace, to be able to sit down at a table to eat, to be able to breathe), but nevertheless willing to let him enter Jackson on probation.

Maria, with her hair piled atop her head as she laughed in the Tipsy Bison, hand curled loosely around a beer, who Tommy knew had lost a child of her own, but who still knelt down to talk to the children of Jackson when they wanted to ask questions about chickens and school lunches and what it was like before the world ended, while he flinched when one of the children walked too close to him on their way to school.

Maria, with her gentle questions as they sat on her porch swing in the evenings throughout the year, even when it was definitely too cold to be doing so, who never looked at him differently even when he confessed to everything he'd done, who simply asked him if he wanted to be taken off the patrol rota so he could focus on building things, who understood his choked ‘no’, who accepted that he needed to fight to feel like he was still breathing, still alive.

Maria, radiant in a pale yellow dress borrowed from one of the other women in Jackson, a bouquet of wildflowers in her hands, wearing a gold ring on her left hand that he'd placed there with shaking hands. Maria, his wife, who he couldn't imagine life without, who he'd never thought would consider him anything more than someone to warm her bed. Maria, laughing and smiling as he taught her to line dance how he used to do in Texas, shuddering as he whispered what he wanted to do to her in her ear in quiet, whispered Spanish until she dragged him out of their own wedding party and back to their house.

Maria, lying languid and naked in their bed, running her fingers over each and every one of his scars, kissing them each in turn as Tommy explained where he'd gotten them, before turning paler than he'd ever seen her and running into their bathroom to throw up her dinner, Tommy following close behind to pull her hair out of her face and rub her back. By three weeks later of her throwing up without anyone else getting sick, and her period not making its regularly scheduled appearance, she quietly whispered ‘I'm pregnant’ into his neck one night, and Tommy just held her tightly as she sobbed herself to sleep, tears dripping down his face as thought of the little girl he'd help raise when he was just a kid himself. It's not that they'd been trying to avoid this outcome, they just also weren't trying specifically for it, not sure how feasible it was given Maria was already in her late forties. It just turned out there was a huge difference between ‘I like the idea of having a child with you’ and ‘I’m having another child and that feels like a betrayal to their older siblings they'd never know’.

The following day, he found a large piece of slate and carefully wrote out Sarah and Kevin's names, the day they had entered their families’ lives, and the day they left them. When Maria saw it on the mantelpiece, arriving home from a council meeting, exhausted and dizzy from a complete inability to hold any food down, she had let one lone tear track down her cheek before looking her husband in the eye, stepping into his waiting arms, and saying, quiet and hesitant, less confident than Tommy had ever seen her, ‘I can't wait to be a mother again with you’.

Tommy kissed her forehead, and then her lips, and then down her neck, before scooping her up in his arms and carrying her through to the bedroom. When they were done, panting and sated, he'd kissed her stomach, traced each stretch mark with his fingers, and confessed he couldn't wait to be a parent either. Thankfully the nausea passed soon enough (long enough to freak Tommy out, Julia having only thrown up a few times in her whole pregnancy, but not long enough to slow Maria down, having spent her first pregnancy throwing up at all hours of the day and night until she was seven months pregnant), and she could go back to work, back to what made her happy.

Four months later, Joel and Ellie arrived in Jackson.

Maria had always known that Tommy was contacting Joel, and had actively found ways for him to get messages back to Boston. Had handled the situation with more delicacy and diplomacy than Tommy thought he ever could have, torn as he was between desperately missing his brother, and not thinking he could handle one more minute in this new Joel's presence. She'd encouraged Tommy to keep in contact, quietly changing his patrol shifts to go past the radio tower if he hadn't managed to get there recently enough. Since the wedding though, she'd stopped checking that Tommy was still talking to Joel. And Tommy had used that to leave longer and longer periods between his messages, terrified that one day their would be a response, a message saying ‘I need you here. Come back to Boston’, that he might have to leave the sanctuary he'd found. He'd never revealed anything about Jackson, had followed the town’s rules carefully (if you want family or friends to join you here, they agree to leave where they are before they get told anything at all, and even then, riders from Jackson would meet them at the Colorado border before they got full details of Jackson's existence), but he'd also never told Joel he was somewhere good, somewhere safe, somewhere that the broken prices of him seemed to fit back together in a way they never had before.

As it turned out, however, Maria was under the impression that Joel wasn't already with them in Jackson because he or Tess didn't want to leave Boston, not because he didn't know about Jackson. Not because Joel didn't know about her, his sister in law, the family they could've had. Tommy watched Maria as she and Tommy walked to the dining hall to get some food for Joel and Ellie, confused at her coldness when Ellie revealed herself as a QZ kid through and through, so different from the children that had grown up in the safety of Jackson. It wasn't until Tommy got back from the bar with Joel and saw Maria standing on the porch waiting for him that he understood the gravity of what was happening: he had accidentally made his wife and brother hate each other.

Tommy hadn't understood Maria's distrust of Joel, not until she explained that she had trusted his decision on Joel, and while she was irritated he hadn't told her he was barely calling back to Boston, she could handle that. What she couldn't handle, though, was that Tommy brought someone dangerous into their home. If Tommy had cut his own brother off, when family was all Tommy lived and breathed for, then she had assumed there was a good reason. A reason that it wasn't safe for her, for Jackson, to meet Joel; that Tommy had made a call based on what was best for everyone. Tommy had frozen, a lump thick in his throat, before he pulled his wife into his arms and explained that Joel wasn’t a threat any more than he was. Capable of violence, yes, but not without reason.

It wasn't until he spoke to Joel later, in the cobblers, that he realised why Joel thought Maria hated him, why he disliked the woman who made Tommy feel closer to a whole person than he ever remembered being before. Namely, Joel thought that Maria hated him for what he made Tommy do all those years, as though violence hadn't been a language Tommy had known for far longer than Joel had. Tommy’s problem with Joel had never been his methods, or the ease with which he used his body to hurt others, or the unflinching loyalty to him and Tess that had made Joel put them above everyone else left in the world. Tommy had done all the same things, made the decision to keep on like that even when they could've avoided it. Hell, Tommy had joined the fireflies, and they weren't exactly bastions of peace and limiting civilian casualties. Tommy had left Joel because he couldn't watch it all be for nothing, couldn't watch his brother die a little more each day, only Tess propping him up.

It was watching Joel have a panic attack over not being able to protect Ellie that made Tommy realise his brother was back again, the brother he'd buried with Sarah. The brother who'd cleaned his knuckles with a wet rag, called him Tomás, helped him sneak back into their home drunk and high so their mother didn't panic, waiting until she was out to yell at him. The brother he thought he'd lost, back thanks to Ellie.

Ellie, who swore and palmed her switchblade in her pocket and demanded her gun back, who was all broken pieces too, desperate to make something of her life, desperate for all the death and pain and loss not to be for nothing.

Ellie, who might be the cure to everything.

Ellie, who, if Tommy knew one thing about the Fireflies, would be dead within a month at best if they got hold of her.

Ellie, who was well on her way to becoming his niece.

Ellie, who Joel wanted him to take to the base in Colorado (not that they were still there, a small voice in the back of his head said, reminding him the scientists were moving out to Salt Lake City).

Ellie, who he was absolutely not taking to Colorado, or Salt Lake, or anywhere other than to the house across the road from his and to a warm bed and clothes that fit properly and the best damn childhood anyone could have given they were living through the end of the world.

Ellie, who had helped Joel pick up his broken pieces, and maybe, finally learn to live with them, to hold enough at once to live life despite them.

The reality was, Tommy thought, that blood was full of everyone's lives now. He'd just had a head start on seeing the crimson every time he shut his eyes, a preview of what the world would be. What that meant, though, was that he'd also had a head start on learning how to pick himself up again, to learn to live again.

And in Jackson, with his wife, and child, and brother, and niece, maybe everyone else could try catching up to him for once. Maybe he could teach them. Maybe, he could make it all worth it. (Maybe, one day, he could make Ellie see it could be worth living for too).

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End author notes!

and now Tommy gets to be an uncle again and make Joel go insane about the shit he and Ellie pull. Also Ellie definitely doesn't end up with the fireflies because genuinely why the fuck would you take the one immune person in the world and immediately try and kill them I may not be a biologist but that I am a scientist and that feels like bad practice to me. Fuck Jerry Anderson. In this universe he magically gets shot by someone and the firefly hospital mysteriously gets burnt to the ground (miller family road trip to Utah for some light recon (stealing everything the fireflies know about immunity) and a little bit of arson for a treat (burning the hospital to the ground)).

Other random things that didn't make it into the fic:

- Tommy and Marlene definitely fucked like twice and then mutually agreed to just never mention it again

- Tess did propose a threesome at one point to Tommy who laughed and told her he was down if Joel was, knowing full well that Joel was completely gone on Tess and wouldn't share her for the world

- bi Tess because I say so and I'm bi so I sensed the vibe (Anna torvs is hot)

- they tell Ellie about what they did to the fireflies, and then tell her that if they find anyone who actually has a hope in hell of making a vaccine they'll take her themselves

- Ellie still gives herself a chemical burn, but she goes to Tommy for help with the tattoo because Joel told her he had tattoos, failing to mention that Tommy's tattoo was a drink mistake that he never shows to anyone. He finds someone good who can tattoo safely and sterilely and helps pick the design and sits with Ellie the whole time

#tlou #hbo the last of us #hbo tlou #the last of us #tommy miller #joel miller #ellie williams #tlou fic

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pluto-noor · 1 year

Text

When Our Stars Align Stormy Nights Push Us Closer

WC: 8542

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary : after a bad storm and a close call with a group of clickers, you run into a familiar face in the forest

Sticky summer heat radiates off of the damp grass. The fireflies buzz around when there’s a loud ‘crash’. Immediately, you put down your red solo cup and glance around. There’s a small crowd on the porch. Like a magnet, the commotion draws you in. As you shove your way closer towards the scene, you ask “Is everything okay?”

Looking down at the stone porch, you see a ruby red pool of blood mixed with a mysterious golden piss-colored liquid soaking the floor. Shards of glass lay peppered throughout the puddle. Your eyes hover a few inches over to see a man with dark hair grabbing his foot, writhing in agony. There’s a large chunk of glass protruding out of his foot, you cringe at the sight of his blood dripping from the wound. Without a thought, you hurry to scoop up the man and help him inside. While you help prop up the man on the counter, your neighbor grabs their first aid kit. After the man settles, you rush over to the kitchen sink to disinfect your hands as your neighbor places the first aid kit next to him. Flapping your hands, you dry them off while you grab a roll of paper towels, ripping one off and putting it on the counter. You pop open the kit and pull out a set of tweezers. With the sterile tool in hand, you remove the large shards of glass from the man’s foot. Blood drips onto the beige tile floor as you discard the glass on the paper towel.

Carefully, you take a cotton ball and some iodine to clean the bloodied area. As you look up, you see the man wincing, his mustache curling as his face contorts. After you discard the now red cotton ball, you grab some clean gauze and wrap it around his foot. Grunting as you get up, you ask “Does everything feel alright?” Nodding, he tries to slide off the counter, but you push him back on. “You need to stay off your feet.”

“Then how am I supposed to get another drink?”

“Just tell me what you want, and I’ll get you it.”

He uses both of his hands to slick back his hair with some help with the summer sweat. “How about your number?” You sigh as he laughs. What can I even say to that? “What about I repay you for this with dinner?”

Free food? Hell yeah. All you could push out is a weak smile. “I’ll hold you to that.”

You feel a force push past you, walking up to the man. “Tommy, what the hell are you doing in here?”

Shrugging nonchalantly, the man pushes himself off the counter–wincing as his injured foot touches the ground. “Dropped my drink, and stepped on some glass.” As you try to walk away and return to the potluck, the man pulls you into the conversation. “This lovely lady helped patch me up.”

The other man raises an eyebrow at you as you flash that awkward white-person smile, which you picked up from some friends from middle school. “Thanks for that.” Quickly, he turns to the man. “Tommy, you need to be more careful.” He looks around on the ground. “Where the fuck is your other shoe?” Tommy shrugs. “Jesus…”

He just laughs at the man’s reaction. “Joel, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

As you try to get out of the situation, you slowly step back. But before you could officially leave, the man looks back at you, smiling. “Thanks for patching him up.” And returns his attention to Tommy, slapping him over the head. As you step back out into the backyard, you can hear the man mumble. “You need to be more careful.”

While you’re heading outside, you see your parents rush up to you. Your mom almost had tears pouring down your face as she took your cheeks in her hands. “My sweet girl, where have you’ve been?” Before you could even answer, your mom burst out again. “We’ve been so worried!”

You try to laugh your mom’s concern off. “I was just inside, that’s all.”

Your dad stares at you, sternly, as if you were a child who just broke a window while playing outside. “You should have told us.” Rapidly blinking, you just stare at him. “Who knows what could have happened!?”

“A bathroom run?” Your parents look disappointed with your retort. “C’mon, I’m fine. Some guy just stepped in some glass and I just helped him. That’s all. Nothing bad happened.”

Speaking of the devil, both of the men walk by, with Tommy smiling at you. Your dad looks enraged. “What did you do? Why is that guy smiling at you like that?”

Resting your forehead on your palm, you sigh. “Nothing happened. Please just chill.” Both of your parents fly into an outrage. While you stand there, completely embarrassed by the scene they’re making, Tommy walks up to you. You whisper “Hey.”

“Is everything alright?” You nod, but your parents refocus their anger from you to Tommy. He just stands there, surprised. “Yeah, I’m just gonna go.” You just flash him a thumbs-up. “See-ya.” But before he could leave, your dad decides to try to pick a fight with him. “Man, just leave me alone please.”

You slip yourself in between the two men, breaking up a potential altercation. “Dad, please calm down. Let’s not cause a ruckus.” He just rolls your eyes at you, then stomps away with your mom. “Sorry about that. My parents are a little intense.” You scratch your left cheek with your right hand. “Wanna drink or anything before I go deal with whatever that was?”

“Thanks, but I’m scared to say yes.” You choke out a laugh. “Alright, then. I’ll see you around?”

“Maybe. Do you live around here?”

“My brother just moved in, like two houses down on the left.”

“Nice, are you there often?” He nods. “Perfect. I actually live right next to him then. Is your brother here today?”

“Yeah, he’s the one who came into the kitchen earlier. Joel.” Just as he finishes his statement, you feel something grab your arm and drag you back. Almost as if this was completely unexpected, your facial expression does not budge. Tommy looks at you with concern. You wave goodbye to him as you’re being dragged towards the exit.

You say nothing as you’re being dragged back to your house, with your parents absolutely fuming. Once the door locks behind you, your parents start yelling. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see your grandma take out her hearing aids while she’s sitting on the couch. Holding the desire to roll your eyes, you just take what your parents are yelling at you.

Well, they have to go back. The boys are still at the BBQ, maybe I could sneak back when they leave. Damn, did I leave my burger sitting outside? Shit, it was good. And I didn’t even get to finish it. Such a waste of food. Such a damn shame. A sharp stinging sensation snaps you out of your train of thought. Unconsciously, you raise your hand to cradle your cheek. Well, shit. If things couldn’t get any worse. That’s definitely gonna leave a mark. Did I refill the ice tray? I should go check once they’re done. You cross your arms, as you finish yelling at you about your apparent ‘vixen nature’, they notice your posture and absolutely lose it. Seriously? ‘Vixen’? They gotta learn some other words. I can’t take them seriously if they keep on using ‘vixen’ everytime they want to call me a whore. You uncross your arms and your parents calm down.

Your mom snaps at you. “Are you paying attention?” No, not really. But you nod your head. “Go to your room. We’ll deal with you tomorrow.”

You start to head upstairs as your parents slam the front door behind them. The moment you get upstairs, you crouch down to see the entrance better. After a couple of minutes, you leap down the stairs and hop out of the door. The sticky summer breeze pulls you closer to the neighbor's house.

Moments after you arrive at the house, your parents and brother leave the backyard. You slam yourself against the side of the outer wall, avoiding them. After you see them walk away from the house, you sneak back into the neighborhood party. You take a couple steps into the backyard until running children unknowingly push past you, causing you to fumble forward. Before you fall on the damp grass, you catch yourself on the wall. Sighing as you push yourself back up, your eyes look around and see Joel with a tiny child. She’s an adorable toddler with beautiful curly dark brown hair–tied up into a bun on top of her head. Her halo of curls and squishy cheeks just make your heart melt. Joel crouches down to pick the girl up and holds her in his arms. After a couple of seconds, his eyes met yours as more children dash past you. A small smile cracks on his face as he sees you fumble around the noisy kids. Carefully, making sure not to walk into the crossfire of small children, you make your way over to Joel. You point to the small girl, “Is she yours?”

“Yeah, this is Sarah.” He picks up the girl’s tiny pudgy hand and waves it at you, almost beaming. “Say ‘hi’ Sarah.”

Sarah babbles out a toddler version of ‘hello’ which causes a smile to creep up on you. You take your index finger and gently boop it on her nose, eliciting a giggle from her. “She’s absolutely adorable.” Your voice goes up a couple octaves, “Hi there. Aren’t you a cutie? Yes you are.”

Joel clears his throat, causing your voice to return to normal. “I saw what happened between your dad and Tommy. Thanks for stepping in for him.” Awkwardly laughing, he admits “I don’t think he needs another injury today.”

Lightly laughing, “Oh, yeah sorry about that. He shouldn’t have been making a scene. I’m just glad he didn’t do anything nasty. Didn’t want him scaring away the new neighbors.”

“Don’t worry, I reckon we’ll be here for a while.” Your heart flutters at that small piece of knowledge. “So where are your parents now?”

You shrug, “At home, I think.”

“What do you mean, ‘you think’?”

“I snuck back out after they dragged me home. I don’t know what they’re doing right now.” Joel stares at you in confusion. “Is that not normal?”

“Unless you like fifteen, otherwise no.”

You sigh, “So much for being twenty-three I guess?”

His jaw drops. “You still live with your parents?”

You nod, “Until I’m married then yes. But I guess they want me to stay, cause I pay their bills.”

“What do you do?”

“Software programmer for NASA. And I also work for the library on the weekends.”

“Damn.”

“I mean you gotta do what you gotta do.” You flash a quick smile at Sarah before returning to the conversation. “What about you?”

“Contractor.”

“Nice!” What do I say? ‘Nice’? Seriously? Is that all? “What about Sarah’s mom?

“Don’t know.” His eyes become glossy for a moment. “She left after Sarah was born.”

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” Awkward silence falls upon the two of you. “If you need someone to look after Sarah while you’re at work, you could always call me. I live one house down on the left.”

“No, I could never impose on you like that.”

“Please, I insist. You’re not imposing when I’m offering.”

“Are you sure?” You nod. Sarah giggles and babbles. “Well, I think Sarah likes that idea.”

“Perfect.”

–

Crisp fall air blows in and out of the house. While the warm air pushes against your clothes as you stir the small pot of artificial mac-n-cheese. With the pot handle in one hand, you snake your way to the kitchen table and scoop the bright orange pasta into a sem-clean bowl. After you swing back around to put the remaining mac-n-cheese back on the stove, you go to sit down right next to Sarah. You wrap a single arm around her, pulling her closely before letting go. “So whatcha ya got there?”

As Sarah shovels the bright pasta into her mouth, you chokes out “Just some algebra and history.”

“Alright, which do you wanna work on first?” She shrugs. “Why don't we get math done first, cause it sucks?”

Sarah rummages through her backpack and pulls out a slightly crinkled sheet of paper. “Just what the hell is factoring?”

You spend the next hour or so helping Sarah with her math, then taking a break before helping her with her history. After the two of you finish, you make your way over to the kitchen to clean up your dishes you made. While the hot water runs against the metal and your skin, Sarah watches the newest episode of Jeopardy. The soapy suds cascade down as you rinse out the pot. After the pot is fully clean, you rest it on the drying rack, before repeating the same thing for Sarah’s bowl and spoon.

You wipe your hands against your jean shorts before making your way to the cool leather couch. Sarah rests her head on your shoulder as the rounds continue with its calming elevator music. Even before the game could reach double jeopardy, Sarah is passed out on your shoulder. You giggle as you carefully pick her up and bring Sarah up to her room. Unknowingly to you, Joel watches you carry her up the staircase as he takes off his shoes and coat before he slips upstairs himself. After you lay her on her bed, you make your way downstairs. Quickly you turn off the TV and pop out, locking the door behind you. The moment you shove the spare house key Joel gave you, you feel your phone buzz. You pull out your phone and flip it open, seeing a message pop up.

“Thank you. I hope you gotta chance to eat dinner as well.”

You smile at the sweet message.

–

Sunny blue skies roll into a gray angry rainy carpet that hangs over the world. Droplets of clear liquid cascade down. Soft splashes of water pool all around the mossy ground. As the puddles’ water level rises, the rainwater overflows and starts sliding down exposed rocks and old, barren asphalt roads. Lightning cracks down onto the overgrown, damp grass with a loud and rattling boom. Birds fly overhead after the shining light strikes the surrounding landscape. Gailing winds push around the trees. Small sproutlings fall over, blocking the ground and trapping in the nearby land animals. Even amongst all this natural chaos, booming gunshots ricochet off of the dribbling leaves. Unfortunately, the storm does not distract any of the infected running your way.

You’re running low on ammo. Foot crushed by a fallen tree. It’s either shoot and draw more attention to yourself, but keep yourself alive, or try and wiggle your foot free, but risk getting infected. It’s a lose-lose situation either way. After a couple more shots, and a few infected killed, your pistol starts shooting blanks. Shit, it’s empty. With your free hand, you release the magazine from your pistole and rush to grab the last one, laying next to you on the ground. Aggressively slotting the refill into your pistol, you start shooting at the oncoming clickers and runners. It’s easy to take down the few remaining runners, but the clickers don’t fall as easily. Once the last runner falls, you focus on freeing your (probably injured) leg before the clickers could get any closer. The fungal monsters are only yards away from you, when your leg springs free. Their horrible clicking noise causes you to freeze in your place.

Hopefully the thunder and lightning drowns out your rapidly beating heart. You lay there, very still. The four surrounding clickers seem to pause at your lack of noise and movement. Each one crawls around, almost getting a little too close to your liking, but ultimately skips over you. Even a simple sneeze or cough could get you killed right here, and right now. Squeezing your eyes shut, waiting for your inevitable death, the clickers don’t attack. Seconds bleed into minutes, and the minutes seem to raise your blood pressure as time ticks on.

The rain starts to let up, just a little bit, but the thunder and lightning doesn’t stop. One large raindrop lands on your eyelashes, causing your eyes to flutter open. There’s only three clickers in front of you, while the fourth one is standing on top of the log that once crushed your leg. You wait for what seems like an eternity. Lightning strikes, creating a small distraction for the clickers, which lures them further away from you. The blinding light bounces into your left eye as your stolen butcher’s knife lays on the muddy ground. You completely forgot about the blade. As the thunder echoes throughout the woods, you grab your gun and knife.

You wait a couple more minutes for the next round of thunder and lighting to distract the monsters. The moment you hear the booms roll in, you jump up and prepare yourself to swing your knife. You try to shuffle along the leaf covered ground, without snapping a branch or creating much noise. It only takes three steps for you to make some noise that catches the attention of the clickers. All four of them charge towards you. Swiftly swinging the large blade, you decapitate each and every one of them. Each one falls right in front of you, at your feet. Scanning the area, you can’t seem to see any more infected nearby. Sighing, you pick up your backpack and shovel. After relocating your bag, hanging it off of a branch, you start digging a large hole to bury the infected in.

Finally the storm clears just as you are carefully hacking at the dead infected’s limbs and extremely cautiously throwing each severed body part into the hole. Your gloves become sweaty and your gas mask fogs up at the change in humidity, but you press on. Although you can barely see, you throw the last infected limb into the dirt. Like a nurse, you remove your gloves and toss them into the pit. You return back to your bag to grab your cigarette lighter, and snap off a couple dry branches. Bunching them together creates a large enough surface area. You take each piece of dead wood and light them on fire, proceeding to throw them on top of the infected bodies. Quickly, you shove some dry leaves on top of the bodies, causing them to go up in flames. As you watch each monster burn to a crisp, you retrieve your bag from the nearby tree. After slinging the straps over your shoulders, you remove your mask and begin to dump the dirt on top of the singed bodies. Sighing, you quickly find your way out of the forest and onto the nearest pathway. Your hands fly to the side of your jeans as you hear a twig break, pulling out your almost-empty pistol. Whipping your head around, the only thing you could find in a family of deer eating off of the trees. Even though the deers seem innocent enough, your hands refuse to put back your gun. You only take a couple more steps along the asphalt road before there’s another snap of branches. The deers run off. You turn around and aim your gun. There’s a girl peeking around one of the large trees, completely drenched in the storm’s rain. You lower your gun. Sighing, you continue to walk on, leaving the girl behind. As you continue along, light mumbling catches your attention. Turning back around, you see the girl talking to someone behind the tree she was using. You stare at her. Carefully, your fingers flinch, head towards your belt straps and slowly pull out your pistol. While pointing the gun towards the ground, you sneak closer while the girl is focused on talking to the tree.

Tired eyes try to focus on a potential target. The young girl slaps something, or someone, causing you to raise your gun. The moment you get close enough to her, you bark “What the hell are you doing?” Staring like a spooked doe, the girl blinks rapidly at you. You point the gun at the tree, which causes the girl to slap something again. Slowly, a man shimmies into your sight and creates a barrier between you and the kid, aiming his rifle at you. “Lower the gun!” You couldn’t make out the details of his face, but his thick eyebrows made it clear he wasn’t gonna lower his gun, so you did instead. After putting your gun back into your jeans, you roll up the sleeves of your brown journeyman jacket. Your exposed skin, Raising your eyebrows, the man lowers his weapon but doesn’t officially put it away. You take a step towards them. “Don’t shoot. I’m not infected. I promise.” The man says nothing. Quickly, you shake off the bag and peel off your jacket, tossing it to the ground, (revealing your grimy tank top). “See?”

Without a single second passing by, after you’ve proven your health, the kid heads toward you. “Who the fuck are you?” She turns back to the man while still running towards you. “Joel, you know this lady?” Standing a few feet away from you, she starts to circle you. “Hi.”

Awkwardly standing there, your eyes follow the kid. “Hello?” After circling around you a couple of times, the kid stops in front of you. “You need something, kid?” The man stomps towards the two of you and grabs the girl’s backpack, pulling her back. You make direct eye contact with the man as he’s pulling the kid back. Your jaw drops. “Miller? Joel Miller? Holy fuck. Joel! How are you alive?”

The girl turns to him, mouth agape. “You know her?”

Sunnelly, he nods. “Neighbors, back before the world went to shit.” Joel shoves his rifle away, behind him, and lets go of the girl. “How the hell did you survive? I saw your family turn.”

You shrug. “Luck, I guess. Bad luck, probably.” After crouching down with a loud grunt, you slip on your dad’s old jacket. “I mean they were easy to kill, as harsh as that sounds. There was a reason that I kept a metal bat by my bed.” You laugh. “Well, that was for another reason. But, whatever. What about you? How’s Sarah and Tommy?”

Joel freezes up. The kid whips her head back and forth, watching for the next move. “Tommy, don’t know. Probably got himself killed, knowing him. And Sarah…”

“Oh, Joel, I’m so sorry.” You stare at the ground before returning your gaze to his eyes. “I shouldn’t have asked.” Squinting, the sun starts to shine into your eyes as it falls. “Why don’t the two of you come back to my place? It's like a twenty minute walk from here. I have hot water.” Joel grunts in agreement and starts walking, with you at his side and the kid following along. You can’t take the silence growing with each syrupy slow second. “Who’s the girl? I didn’t think you would have another kid.”

“Not his daughter.” The girl rushes to your side. “Ellie.” Slowly, you smile at her. “What can you tell me about Joel? You must have known him well.” She jabs your side with her elbow. “C’mon, give me the most embarrassing stories.”

You shrug. “There’s nothing particularly embarrassing. If you want embarrassing stories about him, the right person to ask is his brother. Maybe you could count the times where Sarah would outsmart Joel, but that’s about it. I mean, we were only neighbors after all. Most of the time, I was either at college, work, or taking care of my family.”

“But I can’t say the same thing about you.” You whip your head towards Joel, staring at him like he’s crazy. “Yeah, you think I didn’t hear you and your parents fighting.” He starts to laugh, Ellie looks up at him like this was the first time she saw him even smile. “You burnt all of the food on Thanksgiving. And you almost set your house on fire.” He pauses. “And then, there was…” Joel shakes his head. “Nevermind. Not important.”

You clench your jaw. Within seconds your teeth feel like they’re gonna crack. “What is it? What did you hear? Joel, you can tell me.”

“Your twenty-third birthday. You were still at work and I overheard your parents talking about you on the porch.”

“Oh, that day. I’m so sorry you had to overhear that.” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “I guess it was my dad’s last straw.” Rolling your eyes, you scoff “Apparently it wasn’t what he signed up for. Motherfucker saw Arabian Nights one too many times.” You kick a loose chunk of asphalt as the three of you walk towards your home. Ruby and scarlet skies highlight Joel’s aged features. Every wrinkle of worry and sunken sockets emphasize every single event over the last two decades or so. Your dark eyes trace every strand of peppery hair along his scalp. A soft cough from Ellie anchors you back to reality. “Is everything alright? Are you hungry? I can make dinner for you, when we get back.”

“Really?” Ellie hugs your arm as you nod. “Thank you!” After she lets go, she asks “So what’s Arabian Nights? Is that like a show or something? I bet it’s not as old as Joel.” You shake your head, laughing. “What?”

“You know, Joel’s not that old.” You lean down and not so subtly ‘whisper’ “If it’s between you and me, he’s ancient. I’m not supposed to tell anyone that but he is like over a hundred years old.” You ruffle the top of her head, ruining her ponytail. “Gotta keep it a secret for me.” Ellie nods. “Good.”

As you near your home, Ellie dashes ahead but the locked door prevents her from entering. Joel and you walk up the front couple of steps and stare at Ellie practically bouncing off of the walls. The moment you unlock the door, Ellie rushes in and spins around. You point her in the direction of the shower, following her to see if you have any spare clean clothes lying around for her and Joel. You yank out an old box, that definitely didn’t belong to you, and open it. Bingo. Clothes. After pulling out a pair for Ellie and Joel, you lay Ellie’s clothes outside of the bathroom, on the bed. Quickly, you return to Joel, handing him a set of clean clothes. He thanks you while you head into the kitchen. After washing your hands, you prepare dinner. It’s a simple soup, chopped up potatoes, greens, and chicken broth. Nothing special, but at least it’s something warm.

With freshly dried hair, completely slicked back, Joel walks into the kitchen as you’re adding some homemade garlic salt and some spare onion powder into the simmering soup. It only takes a gentle cough to catch your attention. You turn around to face him, trying not to stare at how the damp shirt clings to his body and the water droplets trickling down his forehead. Smiling at him, you can’t think of anything to say to him so you stutter out “Can you watch over the soup while I go take a shower?” Joel grunts, grabbing your wooden spoon. “Thanks.” And before you could totally abandon him, you turn around in the doorway, leaning on it, with your hands clutching the wall. “It’s great to see you again, Joel. Seriously.”

Warm water and soap trickles down your back. Your head rests on the tile wall, with your hair sticking to it. Mumbling to yourself, you feel idiotic with what seemed like a depressingly unexpected reunion. You sigh into the palms of your hands as they rub your face, dragging the back and into your hair. Fingernails scratch and massage your scalp as you rinse the shampoo out of your hair. As the suds fall into the drain, you can’t help but notice all of your memories pre-outbreak come flooding back, as if Joel’s presence triggered something inside your brain that temporarily turned off survival mode. Cause at this point, survival wasn’t enough. You needed to live, not barely scraping by every day with some close encounter that could have easily gotten you killed or infected if you took one wrong step. It was like living with your dad again, avoiding crushing eggshells that would wake the beast. Once all of the soap and shampoo cascades down your skin and leaves your body, you turn off the water and step out of the shower. Quickly, you wrap a towel around you, to dry yourself off before you flood the bathroom floor.

The moment the water soaks into the soft cotton, you slip your underwear, shorts, socks, and college shirt on. Carefully in the mirror, you admire your old college shirt, that probably had vomit all over it at one point, after partying. Sighing, you step out into your cool bedroom. As you slide along the floor, you walk into the kitchen to see Joel serving Ellie the soup you had made. You lean on the doorway as Joel softens up around Ellie, watching the same smile he used to give Sarah, be given to Ellie. Slowly, you walk up to him against the cold, broken yellow tile and place a damp hand on his shoulder, alerting him of your presence. Joel also pours you a bowl before pouring himself one. As the three of you sit down at the table and eat your dinner in silence, Ellie snickers before turning to you “How do you make gold soup?” You stare at her in confusion, not comprehending the question. “You put fourteen carrots in it.”

You rub your temples, trying not to giggle at the stupid joke. All you could muster out is a light “Jesus…” There’s a face of pure chaotic joy on her face, like a toddler asking you ‘why’ for the millionth time. “Ellie, that was awful. Do you relish in bad jokes?”

Joel slams his spoon down, rubbing his beard as he glares at your smirking face, while almost looking slightly offended, “Was that a pun?” Slowly, you nod. “You’re no better than Ellie and her stupid book.”

You completely burst out in laughter. “C’mon! You cannot tell me that it wasn’t an egg-cellent joke?”

Ellie slaps your arm. “Get it together women! This is no thyme to laugh.” You couldn’t help but giggle.

He groans while staring down into his soup. “You guys are unbearable.”

Ellie looks at you, you nod. In unison you spit out “Don’t you mean unbeerable?” While Ellie finishes her soup, you continue to laugh. “Sorry, Joel. I couldn’t help myself. I mean it was right there. It was perfect.” Before Joel could reprimand Ellie, she collects her empty bowl and places it in the sink. You shout out “I have a spare bedroom down the hall and on the left.”

Practically slurping down the rest of your soup, you and Joel eat in silence. While you’re chewing on a potato skin, Joel asks you “So what happened to you?” Puffy cheeked, you stare at him blankly. “Like is there anyone else living with you? How did you get here?”

You harshly swallow. “Well the night of the outbreak, I was practically locked in my room. I don’t know how I survived. But after light skull bashing, I stole my mom’s credit cards and car. Basically I packed up and left. I drove for however long the car let me. I’m just thankful it broke down near here.” You look at the little soup remaining. “There were a couple people living here when I found it. Father, mother, and daughter. They were kind and let me sleep here, but I betrayed them. In the middle of the night, I killed them all. Someone was gonna turn. I mean the kid wasn’t even five. She was gonna make too much noise and draw those monsters here. So I did what I had to. For survival, I guess?” You scoff, “I know, I sound more monstrous than those damn infected.”

“So there was no one else living with you?” You shake your head. “That must have been so lonely.” Silently, you shrug. “But I understand where you’re coming from. Survival of the fittest. As cruel as that sounds. I just hope it’s not like that now.” You shrug again. “Seriously, what happened to you?”

“Are you worried that I would kill you and the girl in your sleep?” No answer. “I completely understand if you don’t wanna spend the night here, after what I just told you.” You pause for a moment. “I don’t think I could ever bring myself to harm you.” Joel cocks his head at you. “Even in our limited interactions, you treated me better than anyone else had. Well, besides my grandma. But that’s about it. I had the utmost respect for you. You were able to raise such a wonderful girl as a single dad. That’s not an easy job. Hell, raising a child is a hard job already. But to do it alone, that’s… wow. It was clear you would have done anything and everything for Sarah. Everyone from a mile away could tell. You’re a great dad.”

“Really?” You nod. “But you didn’t even know me that well. Plus I had Tommy to help out a little.”

“Still. I know you’re a good person.” He laughs at that statement. “I mean it.” You pause for a moment. An epiphany hits you. You mumble to yourself. “Shit. Shit. Shit.”

Returning to look at Joel, you smile at him. His wrinkles around his eyes can’t hide his concern for you. “Is everything alright?” You nod, but it’s not convincing enough for him. For a slight moment, there’s a glimmer of worry coating over his eyes. Resting his hand on your shoulder, you feel Joel tighten his grip on you. “Are you sure?”

Dryly, you whisper out “No. Not at all. I’m not sure of anything, anymore.” Your eyes linger on his lips pressed together, just staring a little longer than socially acceptable. “But don’t worry about it, it’s kinda of a stupid thought. Nothing important.” You jump up and scurry over to the kitchen, grabbing a clear bottle from the cabinet. Honey-colored liquid swirls around while you grab two clean glasses from the drying rack. Were they perfect, no? Were they even cups for alcohol? Technically yes, anything could be a cup for any liquid. You practically slam the glass bottle down on the table, then two old mugs. Tilting the bottle neck towards Joel, you offer him the whiskey inside. He nods and grabs it from you and pours a heaping into both of the mugs. Liquid gold sloshes around and pools at the bottom of the cup as you watch Joel pour you some. “I have a couple more bottles if we finish this one.”

The two of you, sit in silence with the only thing filling the void is the stormy winds and the occasional slurp. You stare into the golden sea, avoiding Joel’s gaze, while warmth flows throughout your body. After you guzzle the rest of your drink, you stand up to go grab another bottle and sit down. Slowly, you pour the remaining honey into your mug before cracking open the next bottle. Silenclty, you top off Joel’s drink. “How much do you have?”

You shrug. “I raided a bunch of houses and stores, way back in Texas.” Finally, you muster up the confidence to look him in the eyes. His hazel eyes seemed to get darker with age. “If you want, you can pack some. I also have some canned foods if you want, as well.”

“I don’t think I could. You live here on your own.” You push the bottle closer towards him, as an offering. Looking into his eyes with a soft glazed gaze, in attempts to convince him while you smile at him. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. You need it more than I do.” You take a sip from your cup, the whiskey burns as it slips down your throat. “You’re living for something.”

He almost laughs at that statement. “And you’re not?” You shake your head. “You’re alive for a reason. There’s no way in hell that you would survive this long without living for something.”

You sigh, “I don’t know. But maybe one day I’ll find someone.”

Joel leans closer, comforting you. “I’m sure you will.” You lean closer after hearing his rough but gentle words. With each second that passes by, his eyes flicker between yours and your lips. He could practically taste the sweetly spicy beverage floating off of your lips. “You know, I still remember how much Sarah loved when you helped her with her homework.” You pull back in shock. “Yeah, sometimes when I got home earlier than expected, I would always hear the two of you laughing.”

“You saw us?” Joel nods. “I didn’t know, you knew about that.”

“Neither did Sarah,” you lick your lips slightly as he leans in, “I think she would have died of embarrassment. But it was clear, she loved you, and your baking.” The two of you remain mere inches apart. “I never got to properly thank you for your help with her.” You watch his eyes linger on your lips. “I wish I could have before.”

“There’s no need to thank me. It’s what I’m here for, to help others.” Joel leans one inch closer. “Plus, I enjoyed spending time with her.” You catch yourself sniffling. “I would have loved seeing her grow up. I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through.” For a moment, you stare into his dark eyes with the void consuming every ounce of your heart and mind. His deep chocolate honey gaze pulls you in and entraps you with thick, caramel-like, syrup. Your slightly yellowed teeth peek through the thin crack between your upper and lower lip as you fall deeper into the viscous trap. Both of your palms cup his cheeks and jaw while you press your forehead against his. Your smile drops as your thumbs feel warm droplets roll onto your thumbs, wiping them off of Joel’s cheeks. “I’m so sorry for prying. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Joel’s under eyes grow puffy and swollen. Even through his beard, you see his lip quiver. Hesitantly, his hands mirror yours, but rest on your cheeks. Joel presses his nose against yours. A light chuckle passes through his throat. “You know, Sarah begged me to–” Joel can’t finish his sentence, and instead presses his lips against yours. Even though your eyes had lit up with shock, they flutter shut as you deepen the kiss. Slowly, Joel pulls away but keeps his hands on your face. As if he was picking off from his unfinished thought, he whispers “Tommy even encouraged me to ask you out.” The wrinkles around his eyes crease as he chuckles, “He even threatened to ask you out for himself, if I wasn’t gonna do it.”

Rolling your eyes, you snicker “Really, Tommy?” Your light laughter deepens. “Never had a shot.” Almost out of the blue, your amusement falls from a boil. “Honestly, if I had known, I would have stayed and talked to you after helping Sarah.”

“Weren’t you busy?” You nod, but shrug it off. I woulda love spending time with you. “I guess you had your mom to look after. Damn shame.”

“Yeah, but it’s all in the past now.” Silence grows between the two of you. You chug a little bit of your drink. After placing the mug back down on the table, you slap your hands on your knees and grunt as you stand up. “You need anything?” Joel shakes his head. “Alright, let me know if you need some pj’s or anything.” Starting to walk away, you feel your heart pound against your chest with each step. It only takes a couple more steps until Joel grabs your wrist. “Everything alright?” No answer. “Joel?” Once again, no answer. “Joel, is everything alright?”

“Why?” Dumbly, you stare at Joel. “Do you always help people? Why have you helped me for so long?”

“Joel, what do you mean?”

“Why are you helping us? You didn’t have to feed us, or waste warm water. Plus, you’ve already helped me with Sarah, now Ellie.”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“You’ve done so much, but ask for nothing in return.” You nod at him to keep on going. “What do you want?”

Raising your eyebrows in confusion, you blankly stare at him for a moment before answering. “Literally nothing.” You huff out “Are we gonna have a problem here or something?” For a moment, Joel’s grip on your hand loosens, before tightening to pull you closer to him. “Joel. Seriously, is everything alright? Did I say something?”

At this point, your body is completely facing him. “You didn’t say anything wrong.” Joel stares down at your sock-covered feet. “In fact, you’ve done the complete opposite. You’ve done everything right.” He grunts. “I just- You confuse me.” You open your mouth to say something, but Joel cuts you off before you could get a single syllable out, “Look, just tell me what you want in return? I don’t wanna play games with you. Just be direct with me. At this point all of your pleasantries are useless. Nothing in this world is just free.” You scoff, rolling your eyes at him. “Seriously? Are you really acting like this? I thought you were better than that.”

Eyebrows furrow. You lean down, getting into his face. “I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about, Miller.” Pressing your left index finger into his chest, you lean closer. “Look, Miller, I don’t know if you don’t understand this, but I can help people without asking for anything in return. But guess what, not everyone is cold and heartless.” Your top lip flickers between a frown and a snarl, but it slowly morphs into a saddened smile. “It was my job to help people before, it’s my job to help people now. That’s what I’ve done all of my life, help and help and help. I have no idea what this shithole has done to you, but I’m sorry that I’ve stayed consistent.” At this point in your rant, you finally notice the hurt behind Joel’s eyes starting to leak out–even though his eyes stay dry. Staggering back, you slump back in your chair, murrering “Jesus, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone that far.”

Joel lets out a light sniffle, “Yeah, you stepped too far.” You lower your head, ashamed. “But, I was being an asshole as well.”

“Honestly, it’s just in my nature to help people.” Finally making eye contact with him, you look deep into his glossy gaze. “Maybe I’m just a product of my environment. Sorry.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Joel takes both of your hands in his, squeezing them tightly. “Can I be honest with you?” You nod. “Promise not to laugh?” You nod, again. Like a lingering cold on a snowy day, there’s a tinge of sadness clinging onto his voice. “Sarah had constantly joked about me asking you out.” You stare at him in disbelief. “It sounds stupid, I know. But she was convinced that we were dating or something.” Like fire bubbling up from the deep pits of hell, your face begins to scorch.

You start awkwardly laughing, as if you became a young school girl again. “Wow. I don’t know what to say.” Almost completely embarrassed, you wanted to go run and hide in your room. After you stop laughing, you whisper. “What did you think of that? You know, the idea of what Sarah said? You know?”

“Yeah, I really wanted to. I guess Sarah just saw right through me.” His tongue darts out of his mouth, and licks his lips. “Sounds stupid, I know.”

Carefully, you lean closer into him while trying not to make things awkward. It takes you a couple moments for you to develop the courage to ask “Can I kiss you?”

Joel stares at you, in utter disbelief. “Yes, but like– Are you just asking me this to help or whatever?” You shake your head. “Are you absolutely sure? Cause you don’t have to do it, if you do want to.”

“Joel Miller, I am letting myself be selfish. Just shut up and kiss me.”

“Happily.” Without hesitation, Joel shoves his lips on yours. The smoke and warmth of the whiskey floods your mouth. Joel’s lips tasted like the same whiskey you drank and coffee; his teeth tug at your bottom lip. In between each breathy kiss, Joel pulls you closer and soon enough you’re sitting on his lap. Although the kiss was passionate, it’s also gentle and soft. While you take one quick gasp of air, Joel takes that moment to slip his tongue into your mouth. Almost as if there’s a beat to your passion, your tongues move with the skills of a professional dancer. For a moment, Joel breaks away and asks “Since when–” he couldn’t finish his sentence, but you know what he’s asking.

Quickly, you press a soft kiss on his nose. “Fourth of July, neighborhood BBQ back in like 2005 or 2006. A couple years after I moved back from college.” Joel laughs at the idea of some young college graduate liking some dad with a coffee addition. You wack his head with the back of your hand. “I’m serious.” After his laughter dies down, he leans closer into you. “Now I could ask the same thing about you.”

“Around the same time, I think. But definitely the moment you took care of Tommy after he stepped on his broken beer bottle.” The two of you laugh at the memory. “I don’t think he realized what happened.”

You start to put the puzzle pieces together. “Is that why you got angry with him every time he tried to hit on me? Were you jealous of him?” Silence. You laugh harder, practically slamming your head into the crook of his neck. “You were so jealous!” After you remove your head when you calm down, you sigh. “Don’t worry, I didn’t feel the same way about some poor drunk.”

“I wasn’t jealous of him. He’s my younger brother.” You roll your eyes at that statement. “Just happy it meant nothing to you.”

“Definitely, not jealous.” Pouting your lip, you tease “Poor cowboy, jealous of his baby brother.”

“I hate you so much.”

“You wish.” You roll your eyes before kissing him on the cheek. “Even after all this time, you can’t hate me.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

After gently getting up, you go to put the empty cups away before returning. “Honestly, if I had known this I would have made a move on you sooner.” You sit back down. “God, I feel so stupid for not seeing it sooner.”

Stalking around your kitchen around the early hours of the morning, you hear a noise coming from outside. Sleepily, you grab a kitchen knife and a flashlight. You point the light around. Scratching at the window causes you to jump. You turn around quickly, your light reveals a couple of clickers at your window. Shit. Shit. Rushing to put your shoes on, you slam open the front door to deal with the clickers. The loud slamming alerts the two clickers. While they charge at you, you swing your kitchen knife at them. The two of them attack and scratch at you. Blood trickles down onto the ground, you hack your knife at them. After slicing one of their heads off, the other completely topples you over. The knife clatters against the ground. You try your best to keep the monster at a distance. It continues to bite into the air while you’re screaming and punching. Creepy white tendrils start to creep out of its mouth. Your throat lets out a screech. And at that moment, a loud gunshot rings throughout your ears. The infected is ripped off of your body. Panting, you push yourself up and against the wall, but you collide with a pair of legs. You look up to see Joel standing there with a gun. “You alright?” You nod. Joel picks you up and helps you inside. After he locks the door, he helps you sit down on the nearest chair. Quickly, scanning your body, he whimpers “You weren’t bitten were you?”

You scan over every exposed surface of skin. “I don’t think so.”

“Can I check?” You nod. With his calloused fingers, he scans over your skin while his eyes linger on the surface of your skin. You remove your tank top and push it to the side to reveal more skin. There’s still nothing. After he finishes scanning your upper body, he moves down to your lower body. Joel takes a little longer while looking at your upper thighs. And thankfully, he still sees nothing. “I think you’re good.”

“Thank fuck.” You rest your head on his shoulder. Your hands begin to shake. “Thank fuck.”

Joel helps you get up, and guides you up the staircase. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Quietly, the two of you make it to your bathroom. You undress while Joel turns on the water. As the tub fills up, you slip into the tub. The cool water washes off the excess blood and dirt off of you. You reach for your body wash but Joel's hand meets yours as he reaches for the same thing. You snake your hand back under the rushing water while Joel unbuttons his flannel and reveals his white undershirt and discards it to the floor. After he grabs a nearby washcloth, he squirts some soap into the damp cloth. Gingerly he rubs the soapy fabric all over your body. Scrubbing and cleaning every inch of skin. With every gentle stroke, you let out a quiet whimper but it gets louder and louder every time. Blood rushes to your cheeks once you realize the noises you’ve been making. Somehow you have the confidence to look Joel in the eyes, his cheeks are beet red. You whisper, “Sorry.” Without saying anything, Joel kisses you. As he pulls away, he caresses your cheek. “Joel?”

“I was so scared.” He pauses. “The entire time I was looking over you, I was terrified I was gonna see a bite mark.” He rests his head on your damp shoulder. “I-”

While you take the chance to lay your head on top of his, you whisper “I know, me too.” You take your spare hand and rake it through his hair. “Just when things are looking up, for once.”

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joshua-flipping-washington · 3 years

Text

EllieDina Week- Day 3: Trouble.

Oh boy, this came out much more different than I was expecting. But I hope it reads alright! I'm late as always, apologies.

Rating: Teens and up.

Warnings: Pregnancy talk, nothing too serious. Just thought I'd add that as a warning.

●°○•

After the events that carried out in Seattle, Abby leaving Ellie and Dina battered and bloody on the floor of the theater. Ellie's mind, though her head was pounding with a vengeance. Was only focused on getting to Dina, on making sure that she was alright.

Ellie rolled onto her side with painstaking effort, managing to push herself up onto her knees. She crawls over to Dina, the arm that Abby had broken hanging uselessly at her side. " Dina. " Ellie says in a frantic tone, her voice is thick with emotion and she can taste her own blood as it coats her throat.

Ellie carefully pulls Dina close with the arm that isn't injured, she knows that she shouldn't move her because of the arrow in her shoulder, or the fact that Abby had beat her within an inch of her life. Tears fill Ellie's dull green eyes as she holds Dina close to her chest. " Babe… You're alright. Come on, wake up… Please, I just need you to be okay. "

Ellie's eyes flicker down to stare at Dina's chest, it is faintly rising and falling as she inhales and exhales. She let's out a soft breath of relief at knowing Dina was still breathing,pressing a gentle kiss to Dina's bloody temple.

Ellie's heart ached at knowing that if it hadn't have been for the boy with Abby, Dina could be dead right now. Just like Jesse and Tommy were. They both would be alive right now if it wasn't for Ellie, it was the same with everyone in her life that she cared about. Riley, Tess, Sam, Henry and… Joel. They all ended up getting killed because of her.

She refused to let that happen to Dina, she was going to make sure that she made it. Ellie was going to keep her safe, to the best of her abilities. She was in fact, only human after all.

《》

It had been about seven months since they had left Seattle, one of the biggest shocks they'd had was finding out that Tommy was in fact, still alive. He was royally fucked, though- In terms of mobility. But he was learning to get along just fine with the help of Maria, and his good friend whiskey.

Ellie and Dina had moved to the outskirts of Jackson, into a small two-story farm house just like Dina had mentioned way back when, on their first day in Seattle. It had a huge yard, which some of the guys from Jackson helped Ellie fence in. And a decent sized barn for their sheep, most of which had comical or pun-y names.

Dina was standing in the kitchen in front of the sink, washing the left over dishes from the night before. Ellie was notoriously known for leaving the dishes soaking over night in the sink, not liking to deal with them in the moment. She hummed softly to herself as she scrubbed a plate, a fond smile making it's way onto her face as Ellie enters the room.

Ellie stepped up behind Dina, and gently wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. Her hands rested lightly on the growing bump of Dina's stomach, she was already almost eight months along. Ellie pressed a tender kiss to the side of Dina's head, slowly trailing butterfly kisses down her neck. " Babe, why don't you come and relax upstairs with me for a bit? The doctor did say for you to start taking it easy. "

Dina laughed softly as Ellie pressed close to her, hands resting gently on her baby bump as she wrapped her arms around her. Dina craned her neck slightly as Ellie kissed softly along her neck. But then came the one thing Dina had really began to hate hearing. She sighed heavily, giving a good natured roll of her eyes. " Ellie, I'm fine. Besides, if I didn't do these dishes, they'd just sit here until we have more from dinner tonight, and you know it. "

Ellie snorted sheepishly and she nuzzled her face into the crook of Dina's neck, her breath tickling the other girls skin as she spoke. " Yeah, I can't even lie about it. You know me too well, but come on. How about- I finish off these dishes, and you go upstairs and rest. You've been on your feet all afternoon, Dina. "

Dina let out a reluctant sigh, but as she did she set down the rag she'd been using to clean the dishes with. She turned around in Ellie's embrace and couldn't help but smile at the loving look on Ellie's face. " Alright- I relent, I'll try and relax for a bit. You are such a sap, you do know that, right? "

Ellie couldn't even feign mock hurt at the comment, she knew that it was true. She leaned forward and pressed a loving kiss to Dina's lips. " I know, but only a sap for you, babe. Now go- I got this. " Ellie released Dina of her embrace, and gently shooed a laughing Dina out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

Dina was more thankful than she was letting on as she walked up the stairs, she had started to feel the beginning of a headache ebbing it's way in. Being pregnant was more of an experience than she could even imagine, turns out you feel gross a lot, your hormones are all over the place, your back aches and because of the baby pressing down on your bladder- You had to pee almost all the time. And pregnancy brain was definitely real.

Dina entered their bedroom and immediately kicked off her boots, relief washing over her as she sank down onto the mattress. " Okay, maybe Ellie was right about relaxing. Yeah, what do you think, huh? " She said softly as she gently rubbed her hand over her stomach, she smiled happily at the light bump against her hand. " I can't wait to meet you, little one. "

Her brown eyes widened slightly at the sudden tightening feeling of her abdomen, she knew that she shouldn't panic, but that was her minds first instinct. " No, no- I'm not ready to meet you yet, it's too early. " She said with a whimper, and then immediately called out for Ellie.

Dina's tone had enough of a panicked edge to it as she called out to Ellie, that she had dropped the final plate she'd been washing on the kitchen floor with a crash, rushing up the stairs and to their room without a second thought. She stood in the doorway, eyes wide with confusion and fear. " Dina? Dina, what's wrong? "

Dina was sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes are closed and her hand is resting on her stomach. She opens her eyes with a shuddering laugh, tears glistening on the surface. " I don't know if it's just because I'm panicking, but swear I just had a contraction. "

Ellie stepped into the room and stopped in front of Dina, gently cupping her face. Her eyes were filled with concern, but then the things the doctor had told them and the stuff she'd read in one of the pregnancy books came flooding back to her. " Babe, it's okay. Come on, sit with me. Let's wait and see if the feeling comes back, or gets more intense or close together. "

Dina gave a small nod of her head, moving up towards the middle of the bed. Her mind still racing, the unshed tears threatening to fall. Ellie climbed up onto the bed, and gently pulled Dina into her lap. She gently brushed her fingers through Dina's curls, humming softly. " Just tell me what you feel, I'm thinking it might just be Braxton-Hicks. "

Dina and Ellie sat there for thirty minutes, the tightening coming and going, getting weaker as time went on. " I think that they are done now… " Dina placed her head in her hands, and laughed in disbelief. " I can't believe I forgot that can happen, and I'm the one who's pregnant. "

Ellie kissed Dina's shoulder and gently rubbed her back. " Hey, you have a literal human being growing inside of you. I think you are allowed to forget a thing or two. "

Dina smiled softly at how sweet Ellie could be, when she wanted to be. " Well, I'm glad to have you by my side. I was… Seriously freaking out at the thought of having this baby early. " She turned her torso slightly and pressed her lips to Ellie's.

They soon went to sleep, holding each other close. Dina feeling more at ease knowing that Ellie had her back.

#The Last of Us Part II #elliedina week #ellie x dina #rich the idiot writes #video game photography #video game edit #Sony Interactive Entertainment #Naughty Dog #TLOU2 #Ellie Williams #Dina TLOU2 #I have literally written nothing about pregnancy anything #so hopefully it comes across alright

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tlou2holland · 4 years

Text

Joel x reader (Pt 4)

Summary: You sneak out of Jackson and worry Joel

warnings: some cursing, killing of infected

you can read the previous parts here

The rest of your night is spend hidden away in your home, thoughts racing and keeping you from any sleep. Are you and Joel in a relationship? Although the thought scares you, you like how it sounds in your mind. Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Who would have thought that dating in the apocalypse is still nerve wrecking and scary? You always thought that if you meet someone you like, you’d be together and that’s it. Nowadays is not the time for tiptoeing around and playing games, given that you could die any day. But you and Joel are not official, and only stand at the beginning of god knows what. Do you want to be official with him? Face the judgement of others and live under pressure of having to make it work? You don’t know, another question about Joel you can´t find an answer to. You just know that he likes you, finally, after four years of playful flirting and hidden glances. You toss in your bed and hug the covers close up to your chin, nose poking out so you can breathe. You almost got intimate with Joel, if it wasn’t for Tommy to walk in on you. You just hope he keeps his mouth shut, to talk with Joel about it would be embarrassing enough. But how did all of this happen? How long has he liked you, too? And what made him make a move on you? Jesse and Dina would tease the shit out of you if they knew about your little fling with Joel, but you don’t want to tell anyone, at least not yet. What if Joel changes his mind and suddenly doesn’t want you anymore? You wouldn’t be ready for the rejection, less everyone knowing about it. But you doubt that Joel would reject you, he looked at you in a way only few men looked at you before, and never did it feel so good to you. He wants you, and it makes you insanely giddy and happy. Joel really wants you.

Once your mind grows tired and your body becomes heavy, time passes faster and you awake the next day, feeling truly rested for once. Having no duties or meetings planned, you lazily stretch and yawn, running a hand over your sleepy face. You could stay in bed and let the day slide away, or take a walk and do whatever afterwards. So you get up and quickly wash yourself, eating an apple in between. Your jacket keeps you warm as you leave your house, the people in Jackson already wide awake and moving around. You see Marcus along with some of his friends moving a load of vegetables towards the kitchens. Maria quickly walks past you and just waves, a map and pencil in her hands. You watch her walk towards Tommy´s and hers house, Tommy already standing outside the porch with a mug in his hands. You quickly turn around and walk the opposite way, feet carrying you towards the east gate where you slip past and dip into the woods. You won’t stroll too far away, having only your knife and no gun with you. You just want to find something nice to decorate your home with. Maybe a rock or even flowers, depending on what would cross your path. You inhale the crisp air and observe the ground, seeing traces imprinted into the wet mud. You wrinkle your forehead and lean down, fingers touching the earth. It still moves around and squeezes to the side at your touch, so the trace is fresh. It almost looks like some kind of hoof, maybe from a deer or moose. You decide to follow it and rub the dirt between your fingers until it dries and dusts off. It’s been ages since you’ve last seen a moose, and the thought of maybe finding one excites you. You carefully creep through the woods, eyes still stuck on the trace while your ears listen for any unusual sounds. But there’s nothing, just your own breathing and munching of footsteps in the ground. Peaceful, you think. You find comfort in silence, and turn your thoughts off for once as you concentrate on finding the majestic animal. After wandering around and loosing the trace a couple of times, you finally find it again. Footsteps? You tilt your head and count the imprints. The hoofs are still there, but next to it are footsteps, the imprint of the sole clearly visible. You frown and grab your knife, hiding in the safety of trees as you continue your way, eyes now looking around with caution. As much as you’d like to, you can´t trust foreigners these days. And the thought of possibly meeting one doesn’t sound much appealing to you. Your heartbeat quickens as you hear an animal breathing heavily somewhere to your left. It sounds like its in pain and moans from time to time, making you tighten the grip on your knife. “What the-“You mumble as the sound of smacking and scratching fills your ears. You hide behind another tree and peek your head out, mouth opening at the scene in front of you. Apparently the footprint aren’t human ones, but from Runners. Three of them delight themselves on the moose, a bloody trail showing where they surprised, and brought the animal down. You feel your stomach turn and look away, feeling sorry for the moose that draws its last breaths, throat and insides pried open. Kill them or go home you weigh out in your head. The runners are distracted and probably wouldn’t notice you, but you’d alert the remaining two after killing one. But if you don’t kill them, they’ll stroll further around and hurt innocent people, or find their way towards Jackson. You sigh in distress, and just decide to risk it. Maybe if you’re fast enough, you can take two down before they put up too much of a fight. You come out of your hiding spot, creeping up behind them with silent steps. They’re to occupied with ripping meat of their prey, and you choose the one at the back to kill first. Determined to make your plan work, you jump forward and clasp your hand around the runners mouth, holding it closed while you stab your knife into its skull and pull him backwards, further away from his infected friends. One raises its head and looks around with wild eyes and bloody mouth, the usual screams coming out before he digs into the moose again. You’re quick to duck and lay on your stomach, knife secure in one hand while you crawl yourself forwards with the other one. Maybe if you throw something into the woods they’ll split up and follow the sound. You feel around for anything heavy to throw and find a rock, weighing it briefly in your hand. That one would have been nice to take home. You think, before throwing it with all your power into the labyrinth of trees. One runner sees the rock connect with a branch and fall to the ground, instantly sprinting towards it. The other one just looks up and drops the flash he’s eating, furiously biting the air. You shake your head in disgust and get up, running over to the infected with your knife held out in front of you. Your blade connects with its chest and you push it in, knocking it down onto the moose and holding his face away from you with your hand. You pull your knife out and aim for the head, but the runners fist connects with your temple and sends you flying to the ground, rolling off the runner and onto the moose. You feel it’s warm blood soaking your clothes and groan, shielding your face just in time to dodge another hit of the runner. He´s trying to scratch and bite into your skin, while you struggle to keep its nasty mouth away from you. “Get off!“ You mumble breathless, anxiously looking for your knife but not seeing it anywhere. At the sound of your fighting, the other runner returns from the woods and looks for the source of the noise, teeth clasping upon each other. You see no other way out and let the runner get to you, waiting until his teeth almost sink into the flesh of your neck before grabbing the head and ripping it to the side with all your strength. You quickly get up and kick the runner that lays beneath you, boots connecting with its skull. You feel the bones breaking beneath your feet and continue bashing its skull in until it stops moving. You have no time to think about what to do next, and simply run. Shit shit shit. You jump over fallen trees and slide beneath some that are too high, the sound of blood rushing through your ears the only sound you hear. Your head hurts and your lungs ache for air and a break, but you push through. You have no idea if the runner follows you or not, but you don’t want to find out. “Y/N!“ You collect with something hard, falling to the ground and wincing as your leg lands on some branches. You look up and see a tall figure standing in front of you. You wipe the mud from your face and blink fast, trying to see clear again. “Joel?“ You squint your eyes and he crouches down, giving you his hand. You take it and he pulls you up into his chest. “What are you doing out here?“ He sounds angry and puts you at arms length. Your face and clothes are covered in a mixture of blood and mud, and your jacket ripped at one arm where the runners nails almost got trough. “I was- Runners.“ You stutter, catching your breath while holding your temple, feeling something warm. “Are you alright?“ Joel runs a hand over your arms and sides, looking for any visible injuries. “I think so, one is still here somewhere.“ You crane your neck to look back, but Joel grabs your chin and makes you look at him. His touch is firm and its clear to see that he’s not amused. “We´re going back. I´v been worried sick looking for you.“ With that he urges you to move in front of him. You sigh, still out of breath and start walking, your leg hurting more with each step. Surely it’s going to form a bruise. “How did you know I was here?“ You ask, hearing Joels heavy steps right behind you. “Tommy saw you slipping out the gate and told me.“ He grumbles. “He told you?“ You try not to sound too confused, but Joel catches up on your tone. „Well-“ He starts, stopping to form his next words before catching up with you. “After what he saw yesterday, he thought I’d like to know. And he was right.“ Joel walks next to you now, sneakily grabbing your shaking hand and slipping his fingers trough yours. You steal a glance into his direction, and he does the same. “Your hand is muddy.“ He says. You snort at the dryness in his statement. “That´s because I was crawling in the mud only minutes ago, in case you didn’t notice.“ You try to pull your hand out of his grip, but he’s only holding tighter onto you. “Don´t do that again.“ His voice softens slightly and your heart melts at the concern written all over his face. “I won´t. For the next couple of days at least.“ You mumble the last part and Joel gives you a warning look, not finding your little comment all too funny.

“So Tommy knows about us?“ You change the subject and take a deep breath, your lungs still burning. “He knew way before that I like you.“ Joel confesses, staring straight ahead and the tip of his ears turning red. “He´s my brother.“ He shrugs his shoulders and you try to read his face, but can´t pin his emotions. “Why didn’t you make a move before? I mean, I’ve been here for four years and you never gave in to my flirting. I thought you don’t like me that way.“ You quickly wipe over your forehead, getting rid of some of the sweat that collected there. “It´s not easy for me. You’re way younger than I am, you know? It just felt wrong.“ He reasons, grip on your hand loosening. This time, you hold him tight and shake your head. “I don´t care about your age, never have. You cant choose who you feel attracted to.“ You wanted to say love, but stop yourself last minute. “That´s what Tommy told me, too. I just couldn’t believe him. But when we were so close and you touched my face, I don’t know. Something inside of me just snapped.“ Joel´s eyes start to soften and he rubs his thumb along the back of your hand. “I´m glad that it did. I felt guilty for liking you, still do, but it feels good. I haven’t felt like this in a long time.“ He continues, and your heart almost leaps out of your chest, while it breaks at the same time. “You don´t have to feel guilty for liking me, Joel.“ You lean into his side but he stays stiff. “You don´t think I’m holding you back? You could be with someone your age who acutally-“Joel talks but you only hear nonsense coming out of his mouth, so you stop him. “Holding me back? You’re saving my ass and make me feel good. I want you, Joel. No one else, only you.“ You gently grab onto his arm and pull on it to emphasize your words. Joel chuckles and nods his head, sighing in defeat. “I´ll always save your ass.“ He mocks your choice of words and you roll your eyes, smiling. “Good, cause I wouldn’t want it any other way.“ You end the discussion by quickly leaning up, ignoring the pain in your leg, and pressing a soft kiss to his beard. “Now lets go back, I want to get out of these clothes. “Oh, I can help with that.“ Joel winks at you and you blush, grinning from ear to ear. “Maybe another time.“ You teasingly nudge his side and let go of his hand as soon as the gates of Jackson come into sight. You regain your composure and Joel does the same, clearing his throat. “Can I come over later?“ You ask, resting your palms against the top of your jeans. “I´ll be waiting for you.“ Joel gives you a smile and walks towards the gate, you following behind with a little distance. So we’re unofficially official, you think. I can live with that.

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Thank you all for the positive feedback, I appreciate it ! Reading your comments makes me really happy :) This chapter is a little shorter than usual, but the next one will be longer (and smutty *cough*), so be ready!

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