#hope you all understand what i'm saying

[blennie]

okayy i finished oddtaxi can i just say literally none of it turned out to be what i expected except for the whole no animals twist which i only understood bc i got spoiled once

#< btw i'm talking about overall tone and story not like.... the unpredictability of the series as a whole cuz i don't care about twists #as long as it's fun #hope you all understand what i'm saying #it's very funny i enjoyed it and i'm gonna watch the movie(?) tomorrow or smth #i was led astray by the way some of you post about yamamoto

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[tothepointofinsanity]

what are your thoughts on Madoka and Sayaka's relationship? I always thought it was underrated for how complex and tragic it is.

Madoka and Sayaka's relationship function similarly to that of a knight and a princess, so both their friendship or couple pairing are interesting to me. It seems to be intentional that Sayaka was crafted with a knight motif in mind to click with Madoka's vulnerability. The tragedy is that Sayaka was way too young and inexperienced to be shouldering such expectations in a friendship. Taking up the role of a protector at every turn because she wanted to protect everyone has always been a contributing factor to how fast Sayaka burned out.

Contrarily, Madoka's struggle with her own helplessness throughout the show was also part of the reason why Sayaka said a lot of terrible thing to her, but deeply regretted her actions to the point where she succumbed to Witching out away from Madoka. Madoka, at least in this "final" timeline, was not there to see her own childhood best friend change into something else. To, in a way, "die", and be reborn as the same monster that all magical girls were hunting after in a frenzy. Homura was right that Sayaka brings Madoka grief — it seems that in almost timeline, since Sayaka becomes a Witch as long as she becomes a magical girl unlike Mami or Kyoko, Sayaka is a consistent source of Madoka's grief. Whenever Madoka becomes a magical girl, then, her aspirations are based on Sayaka's sacrifice and ideals, except Madoka actually has the power to "save everyone". I believe Madoka loved Sayaka as Sayaka may not have been an "effective" magical girl, but she was the one who was willing to sacrifice her soul for her ideals, regardless of how naïve they were. To Madoka, who was so ensnared by her sense of uselessness, Sayaka was the closest thing to an idol or a star for the courage required to be a magical girl. Sayaka's desire to make the world a safer and justified place for people was so inspiring to Madoka that even when Madoka becomes Kriemhild Gretchen, the Witch's whole gimmick is "creating heaven on earth, a Witch content only if there is no more grief in existence". A prospect deeply held onto by Madoka that even Gretchen embodies it.

It's probably why Madoka's wish to save all magical girls would definitely sound equally impossible to he audience and the incubators, but Madoka herself says, "If someone says it's wrong to hope, I will tell them that they're wrong every time." Sayaka was often called foolish for her ideals and hopes, and Madoka was the only other person aside from Kyoko who understands Sayaka's struggles so much that she outright tells people that Sayaka was never wrong — this is how Madoka protects Sayaka. Madoka would never want anyone to say any of the magical girls' wishes were wrong or foolish. It was how Sayaka also found her peace at the end of the show: to be understood and not viewed as an object that would eventually be replaced in the cycle of magical girls and Witches.

Madoka and Sayaka eventually learned how to protect each other. Sayaka doesn't need to suffer from her own overbearing expectations anymore, and Madoka can finally be something even more to protect her angel: A God.

#they are so tragic #madoka makes me cry thinking about how she was so compassionate that she never actually hated any of the witches #only ever looking upon them with sadness for what they were even before she knew how Witches were made #it's why i don't like people who claim they love madoka but despise sayaka #like you do understand that Madoka loved sayaka so much she made sayaka her own angel and tells you straight up that it's not wrong to hope #madoka not being unkind to sayaka despite everything is so...makes my heart hurt #Sayaka wasn't evil or selfish she just really wanted to mean a whole lot to someone that mattered #inevitably she was emotionally charged and in that moment she forgot madoka was always there for her and vice versa #which drove her to try and quietly witch out alone in a train station with kyoko #you can say what you wish but Sayaka's ideals were so tragic that both kyoko and madoka were affected by them #and that's the biggest tragedy of it all honestly #madoka scenes make me cry and I'm not kidding she wanted to help so bad #Sayaka Archives #ASKS 💌

[jardinvrm]

Harumi and Fuyumi outfits! all these are for future references for the fanfiction! I've mentioned each meaning and context behind each one, but if you're interested so much, I'll explain in further details in under the cut!

S.O.G and Hunted

Princesses ;

very obvious! they're in their princess outfits, matching in almost everything! the only difference is that Harumi has flower petals pattern on her cloak (that I DIDNT draw), while Fuyumi has snowflakes pattern on her cloak (that I didn't draw either)

Civilians ;

Harumi has her casual fit, the jacket and the pants, while Fuyumi kept on most of her royal robes on to honor her family legacy, Harumi is annoyed because she was planning on Fuyumi dying along the emperor and empress but.. she didn't,

Harumi has makeup on and golden earrings, while Fuyumi has nothing on her face (girl lost her parents c'mon)

The Quiet One and The Prisoner ;

while they were living in the bounty, instead of crashing the ship AND also getting rid of Fuyumi, Harumi planted a chip of the piece they found in Zane in fuyumi's bed and later on Fuyumi was framed was sent to prison, she wears orange for most of the story,

Meanwhile Harumi revealed herself and the story goes almost all to canon, they go to the commissioner and get Fuyumi out and tell her everything, she's traumatized

FUN FACT ACTUALLY did you know that blue and orange are on the complete opposite side of the color wheel... I love foreshadowing

Crystalized ;

Kabuki Mask and The Empress

These are my favorite ones! Harumi has her current disguise as Kabuki Mask, covering her face because of her identity, while Fuyumi changed her hair color back to it's original color, blonde instead of platinum so she's not associated with Harumi anymore, and wears a Hanfu veil mask to cover her face because she's ashamed of her looks

Fuyumi kept the green robes because it reminded her of the empress, after literally losing everything she sorta feels numb now and doesn't even bother wiping her ruined face now :(

In another word the two are covering their faces now, whether it's because they secretly remember each other just from looking at a reflection ORRR because they need to is up to you *shrugs*

#i cant feel my hands from writing #OUCH #anyways um #english isn't my first language #i hope you all understand what I'm saying #but ANYWAYS #im sorta obsessed with this AU soo im REALLY gonna write a fanfiction about them! im so excited! #it might come out this friday but whooo knows!! #twin au #ninjago #my art #ninjago oc #digital art #my drawing #ninjago fanart #harumi's twin sister au #harumi ninjago #harumi #princess harumi #harumi jade #jade princess #ninjago original character #ninjago fuyumi #au #alternative universe #ninjago au #long post #artist on tumblr #angst

[indecisive-v]

forgive me, i've really gone down the p5x rabbit hole now

#what i'm REALLY saying is i think it's interesting how different these two are at least to me #joker got into this because it was his chance to make things right #wonder got into this because Why The Hell Not #i think wonder and p5x's whole apparent theme of having desire and the ability to make choices has some serious potential #after looking at the translates of wonder's awakening i really think janosik's whole speech is basically telling him #'you've been sticking to the status quo and never putting up resistance. but doesn't this new world interest you?' #and i feel like p5x's awakenings are less about rebellion (esp with the personas that seiji/yuki/mont have) #and more about realizing what your desires are in a non-corrupt way #you come to terms with your desire -> you come to terms with your shadow -> you awaken your persona #do you get what i’m saying #persona 5 #persona 5 x #p5x #persona 5 the phantom x #p5x wonder #i just think wonder's awakening was him realizing he wants to have a lil more fun in life #aaand i just saw a typo in one of the earlier tags #god fucking dammit #i'm probably just saying the same thing repeatedly in different ways but i HOPE ANYONE WHO'S INTERESTED UNDERSTANDS #for all i know i'm actually just projecting really hard onto wonder #minus the fact that i think there is no way in hell he's neurotypical (i am neurotypical)

[artemispt]

I might sound a bit dramatic but I worry about Lando. Yesterday he posted a MGK song about being lonely, depressed, sad etc. I think Martin saw that and suggested to join him in Amsterdam to cheer him up. It reminds me his new song "Carry You" which I think is about Lando. That's thoughtful and Lando deserves to enjoy himself but I fear he might try to forget his sadness with alcohol and maybe drugs...

I don't really think that's the case. Lando already said that he likes listening to sad songs and that doesn't necessary mean that he's really sad. Regarding him partying, it's just a 24 years old having fun. I honestly love watching him with his friends, living his life and having a good time. I don't believe he had the opportunity to do it when he was a teen (with all the work and tension)*, so good for him that he's enjoying himself now.

#*might be wrong here but usually drivers have a very restricted life (maybe “life” isn't the right word) but I hope you understand what... #... I'm trying to say 😅 #and even now because he's a famous person must be difficult to just relax and have fun. all the eyes (and cameras) are on him #inbox

[commsroom]

Do you enjoy t4t eiffera headcanons because I just think they have t4t vibes

oh, i feel SO guilty for this one... i've actually been trying to write a post about why eiffel/hera as a cis guy/trans woman relationship resonates with me... like, the things that make hera read as trans to me are canonically things eiffel does not experience and is often kinda ignorant about. a big part of their relationship development relies on eiffel learning to decenter his own perspective and recognize that certain things will impact hera more profoundly because of who she is. eiffel reads as especially cis to me in a way that not many characters do, and part of it is... it's not that his backstory, lack of self-awareness, or various other faults could only belong to a cis guy, but those things would read very differently if they were written with any other intent. in eiffel's pop culture worldview, he conceptualizes himself as the everyman, the 'default' person, and i think there's something very intentional that's being deconstructed, with that context.

that said, though: i know how personal trans headcanons can be, and if you resonate with eiffel in that way, i think that's wonderful.

#i'm sorry!! thank you for asking. i'm just not the right person for this one unfortunately #like part of what makes hera read as trans to me is that she has to constantly be aware of all these things #re: presentation and physicality and safety and identity and navigating relationships etc. #that eiffel kinda gets to take for granted. #the lack of understanding people have for hera's circumstances that is so often. not at all malicious. but just ignorant oversight #because they don't share her experiences and never thought to consider what certain things might be like for her. #like i think. canonically a lot of the work that has to be done in their relationship. is the kind of stuff #that people are hoping to /avoid/ by being t4t #and i don't say that as a slight against eiffel or anything because obviously i love him. and in a way it's kind of an outlet for me #because i am attracted to cis men but i won't pretend there aren't like. anxieties i have about that. anyway #i will elaborate if i ever actually get around to writing that post #asks

[funnierasafictive]

about your most recent post, what do you mean by white people having to watch out and think about what they’re doing when it comes to introjecting?

Regarding this post

Specifically like, if white bodied people (reminder that white-passing people are still POC though!) want to change their name to a name that's for example traditionally Japanese, etc. (I'm not just pointing out that this "only applies to Asian names", this is just a common example!).

Obviously we (our system) can't stop anyone from doing what they want with their legal powers, but it's something we hope white systems really think about before they change their name so easily to something like that

Because of white privilege, white people most likely won't know what POC or SOC (systems of color) go through. People with less-white sounding names get racially profiled and/or deal with their names constantly being mispronounced to the point of changing their name legally to sound more white, or adopting an "English name". I don't think I have to explain the leaked Flight Ban/Watchlist and why the people on that list were there, for example

I hope that explains it! If white people want to change their name to something "different", I literally can't do anything abt that! In short, we brought that up because of racism, xenophobia, and bullying that's been done to people with less-white-sounding names.

#ask #anon #BTW Im not talking about INTROJECTING im talking what you do with this information AFTER the fact #Also our system is not white- we are asian. I'm saying this so that you know our perspective!! Not bc our words shld be 'better' than anyon #And also bc we cant speak for EVERY person of color. our perspective is of someone who is asian yipee #Also now that I'm reading what we said in the tags of that previous post- I hope it isn't read too much as a threat #But I trust that you can understand why any POC might phrase things like that when it comes to appropriating names #Also if someone says 'but what about spanish names?' well the context is that Spain colonized many countries so idk what to tell you #Ask us if you'd need this post tagged! #Also I'm being very /gen /lh!!! not mad at all #Also AGAIN pls pls i dont speak for all POC OTL.. but I hope this explains why ANY POC might ask you to think Deeply about ur privileges

[uselessnbee]

everyone understands that Will had a hard time helping El and standing up for her because he himself has trauma from being bullied his whole life and doesn't know how to fight them back, his reaction to bullying is to freeze. but suddenly no one understands it when it comes to Mike and he's just called an asshole for not being able to stand up and fight El's bullies

i'm not saying he is innocent and did nothing wrong. he could have done more and just handle the situation better but he was just too focused on Will and was in his head and being the otherthinking oblivious dumbass that he is

but just imagine your girlfriend tells you she is having a good time and has friends, she does not mention anything bad and then suddenly she's getting bullied in front of you. when you've been bullied your whole life your first reaction is to freeze, to panic and just wait and hope it passes quickly and they'll leave you alone. Mike did not have any knowledge about her bullying or having any kind of problems, as long as he was aware those people were her friends. he himself has trauma from being bullied (he literally mentions it later on why yall keep forgetting??) and being suddenly thrown into a situation involving bullying can be really distressing.

when you have experience with being bullied even just seeing someone else getting bullied can make you freeze up and panic. and we know that Mike does not stand up for himself when he's the victim. even when you're not on the receiving end of the bullying but you just see it happening and suddenly you're a scared little kid again holding back tears desperately hoping for them to leave you alone.

and i know everyone wants to yell at me "you forgot about Mike standing up to Troy when they were saying shit about Will! so he can obviously stand up for his friends so why can't he for El??" and no i did not forget and yes you may be right but the situations are different. Mike was very well aware of Troy's bullying. he was involved in it. he was the victim there. he's had to deal with his bullying for years it was not a shocking revelation. however he did not know about El's situation at all and your reaction can be very different when you know about something and when you have no knowledge and it suddenly happens

again i'm not saying that he did nothing wrong. i'm just saying that we need to consider his trauma and his point of view and it could make him think less rationally and therefore not being able to help properly. maybe if he knew beforehand that something could go wrong he could be prepared and he would handle the situation better (even if it would be just them seeing Angela and her friends come and they would turn to Mike and say quickly that those people are mean to El he would still have at least some time and could prepare himself). but he did not know that and he was not prepared for this situation to suddenly escalate like this. he was unprepared and probably panicking and didn't know what to do so no he wasn't much of a help.

and maybe we should stop acting like this traumatised 14 years old kid needs to solve every problem and act rationally in every situation and not to make any mistakes (especially when he has no knowledge to prepare him for something distressing) and overall just putting everything on his shoulders and then insult and hate him when it does not end up perfectly well

and maybe i'm just being my overprotective extremely defensive self who's looking too much into this who knows

and i can't even properly put into words what i'm trying to say but if it makes sense to someone then great!

#mike wheeler #byler #Will is not a bad guy for not being able to stand up for El #that boy has so much ptsd from everything he's been through in his life he never stands up to his bullies #his survival tactic is to stay quiet and hope assholes won't bother him #and Mike isn't a bad guy either #no it is not an excuse for him being a bitch to El especially after she hit Angela #but again he was not prepared for anything like this to happen and it all escalated so quickly and ended up in violence #and he didn't even properly know and process what just happened #and i'm also sick of seeing everyone hating him and calling him a hypocrite for this whole thing #because 'he was okay with El using violence against his bullies' when those situations are so so different #El hurt the bullies because they literally made Mike jump off a cliff and threatend Dustin with a knife #El used violence against Mike's bullies because Mike almost lost his life he was not being humiliated #and i'm not saying that being humiliated like El was isn't bad because i know how painful and traumatising it can be #but in Mike's situation she used violence against violence and that is still different #also that happened in s1 and they were still kids and since then Mike saw so much violence and death #that it would be understandable for him to have a different view on it now #if El would humiliate Angela back like she did with Troy at first #i'm pretty sure Mike would understand that better so maybe calm down with that hate yea? #but then again it is just a speculation and my opinion so you do you #blue's 'Mike's extreme defender' ramblings

[sskk-manifesto]

(´･ᴗ･ ` )

#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show… #Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk. #Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die. #I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me. #I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time... #Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply. #Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it #(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author). #Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry. #Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative #“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging. #Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia. #The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.) #Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)– #bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them– #and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)– #stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?) #I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild). #But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking. #I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further… #But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views– #and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything #That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry) #so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt. #Tune in next week for more bad takes #random rambles

[popiellart]

Tell us ur DUNC thoughts pal! <3

what can I even say about DUNC other than i fucking love it!!! i've been a shameless dick rider for denis villeneuve ever since Sicario, and I went to the cinema to see DUNC and DUNC 2 which. one thing about me is i hate cinemas. i didn't even go to the cinema for scorsese or yorgo lanthimos or top gun 2 so you know it's serious

the visuals are straight up incredible, the casting is peak, the material is handled with a lot of what feels like genuine love and passion, the lady going ham on the arabic yodeling on the OST is a queen, and in general wrt dune fans watching DUNC, I imagine that's how people who like Tolkien felt when Peter Jackson's LOTR came out

i can't wait for the conflict between the matriarchal eugenicists with milking machines and the patriarchal eugenicists with breeding tanks

which is what the books are really about. oh, and i guess the galactic jihad also happens, so that's fun

#dune #dune 2 #dune spoilers #(sort of) #anyways dune is an incredibly hilarious series on one hand you have the very serious exploration of imperialistic politics #and manipulation of societies. and religion for herbert is what linguisitics was for tolkien. (except frank's hyperfixation actually fucks) #and u get these powerful conversations about power and fate and lady jessica says 'history will call us wives' #which. by the way. everything lady jessica says and does goes incredibly fucking hard. #one of the best and most problematicest female characters ever. <3 #one of my favourite features of dune is how vicious the women are. there is a sisterhood but theres no hand-holding and singing kumbaya #jessica uses the Voice on chani. irulan does what she gotta do to secure her interests. theres an understanding but claws come out #THEN on the other hand you have the 'hm. good effort' hitler talk between paul and stilgar xD i hope they put it in dune 3. please denis #i first read dune when i was a child and understood pretty much fuck-all from it. but i think that's what herbert would've wanted #in conclusion: i don't know. i hate cinemas and i still went to see dune #i hate heat and sun; i'm a winter child thru and thru. and denis makes me want to be there on arrakis when i watch his adaptation #i think that says something

[gonersgoners]

remember when i said over a year ago that vegapunk's arc would start revealing even more of sanji's power and potential and how hard that was worrying me? yeah

#i'm clearly talking to myself here since this blog is basically a corner of my brain #but last chapter having sanji deflect a light beam and both kizaru and franky reacting the way they did #and zoro commenting in wano you cannot possibly block a laser... lmao....lmao! #ooooh man i just. feel oda is cooking something for sanji. and since there was a parallel with the wings of the pirate king #in recent chapters (where oda typically shows both sanji and zoro fighting and not just one of them) #just... man. man! man. lol #i know i can't let myself go and talk about all things going through my mind anymore because of. lol guilt and fear of being annoying #but god. that moment stirred something in me. like you're resurrecting a fucking corpse #so i am both scared and excited about next chapters and what this means for sanji #i was saying from DAY ONE of this arc being centered about vegapunk that it would eventually #touch on sanji and this is it. this is happening #if this for some reason isn't it. and oda will for some reason just let this slide or die in the shadows? i won't understand it #because of JUDGE and VEGAPUNK and QUEEN being partners and being linked to vegapunk! like come on. the connection is there #and this laser deflecting thing seems to finally touch on this red thread i've been holding with both my fingers like an insane person #so yeah. lol. listening to a video right now about it and finally. FINALLY i see SOMEONE ELSE point out that #not mentioning judge still is giga weird. so here's hoping. here's hoping #also lol it was very fun to be on reddit and look at so many people being MAD that sanji managed to do that. and that we got a little bit o #mr prince vibes. LMAO STAY MAD. my boy is being treated good right now and i can't wait for oda to destroy me #(again) lol #GG rambles

[wild-at-mind]

I feel like tags like these were inevitable on the post about people traumatising themselves for the greater good or w/e... There is SO much emphasis on posting on tumblr and other social media being so important and so useful and we must never stop. But I would like to counterargue with the idea that posting on social media (especially tumblr) constantly does very little/nothing. If that was true then the point here becomes meaningless.

#i guess i must be broken according to this person because i don't seem to feel emotions the way they feel helps palestine #activists in palestine are also calling for a general strike where no one goes to work and that has yet to materialise in a meaningful way #because people keep watering it down by saying 'oh it's ok just post constantly/about nothing else than palestine on social media' #yeah awesome great- look i'm sure there are people in palestine saying get the word out about our suffering etc #but they are also calling for more meaningful symbolic gestures like strikes which as far as I know no western country has delivered #because that would take a lot of organising and much less guilt tripping and people spending all their time posting #and comfort always comes up- comfort and discomfort- what even is comfort? #is feeling ok in your own mind an insult to palestine? #are there people losing everything in wars feeling better because someone in the west feels really really bad about their pain? #like sorry to be facetious but what on earth does any of this rhetoric accomplish #i spent years thinking like this and it made me so sick and now i'm better i am DONE with it- i cannot go back to this thinking #i can only live if i bend away from this kind of thinking like a plant to light- and i want to help others but people just won't stop #please- post on social media if you like. it doesn't help anyone to view the depths of their pain and feel bad #it is better to look towards hope a ceasefire and a resolution and end to the killing of palestinians for good #that can happen!!! #i think avoiding misinformation and dehumanising rhetoric about either side is also very important #i fully believe you can only understand geopolitics and war if you see everyone as human

[taeyungie]

😺

#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet #i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean #he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today #and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this #its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back #but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason #he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much. #he would want that for all of us right #but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus #the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months. #thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time #and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol #my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most #when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most. #but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway #i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit #i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody #because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right #and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated. #i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do. #to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him #nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it #anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓 #please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓 #we have esch other and we will be okay 💓 #sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓

[knowlesian]

okay, i’m not gonna call out names because i think people deserve chances to grow and i’m not assuming any malicious intent, but i also feel a need to answer something addressed to me today, because empathy’s gotta go hand in hand with accountability.

this is why talking about race (in fandom, or otherwise) is often like slamming your face into a brick wall that keeps insisting it’s on your side.

okay. so i sort of debated how to handle this: i think i’m just gonna quote myself. you may have missed this piece, so hopefully it’ll give context for why i’m not sure exactly what to say, and remain unsure.

i am very sure that until the day i die, i will be doing the hard and frustrating and not super ego-boosting work of diving into the mental dumpster of weird bullshit i was implicitly taught and unpacking it all.

so i know i will breathe my last and i will still have all these racist ideas, rattling around my noggin fucking with how i see the world and how i treat people, even though i don’t know i’m doing the thing. when i talk about people being racist and having implicit bias, i am also talking about me!

because racist is a descriptor, not an insult. and as much as it sucks for me to unpack this shit (don’t let anybody tell you it’s not hard work or that it feels good to do; it’s really hard and it will make you feel very small and gross sometimes) the people i accidentally aim it at deserve me putting in that effort and have it much worse.

so when i’m like, it was racist stede did that? i’m not saying stede is a bad person, and i’m not saying fuck that guy.

i’m saying oh shit this show is SMART, i do that too! it’s me!

so. i don’t know why you posted this and then bounced: i don’t know why you didn’t @ me, if you wanted me to see it and respond.

like... is your issue that i’m talking about race too much? that i’m being mean or unfair when i do it? that i don’t talk enough about how hard it is for white people to think about race, or that i’m not being understanding enough that it sucks to look at people who hurt you and have to consider you might have something in common with them? because i’ve said exactly that, too. you’re right, it’s not fun to do this work, and it is work.

i guess i just don’t understand the purpose, here, or why you’d say all this and not explain what exactly you want from me as a writer to do differently. and if that’s not your goal and i’ve misunderstood, then...  i mean. i guess i remain confused as to what you want me to take away from this, other than “it’s hard to be white, and you have made me feel very uncomfortable about it so i wish you would stop”.

#i still don't know what to say #i do not understand why this post was made #do they want me to change? talk about race less or differently? #never mention whiteness? #because i feel like i have been scolded for not being nice enough or understanding enough about the Plight of The White Ally #so i guess my question is: what was i supposed to say here? #what am i supposed to do with this #but feel like i am somehow not in the crew unless white people feel comfortable #posting this and then immediately unfollowing just feels... defeating and weird #like i'm not gonna block you and i hope you take this and just. don't do this to the next poc in line #but this made me feel p shitty #this is fine to rb btw please do not try to sleuth shit or whatever this is not about that #it's just... you know. play stupid games handle your public stupid prizes #to allow frustration to make me blunt for a sec #also apologies for the caps and no id i just could not make myself sit and transcribe all that #if someone else has the fortitude thank you and i will rb #i just. not today you know? i can't do the second layer and process every word at that level rn

[flippy-floppy]

ok thanks! 💕 the whole “iverson is kendall’s biological son” confuses me because it’s right there in the text that he actually isn’t. even accounting for roman’s provocation and w/e theory of reproduction logan might have postulated, the filing-cabinet guy bit and the randos comment are pretty straightforward. i don’t see the ambiguity at all tbh. now moving on to more personal interpretations, yessssss! Good Person doing a Good Thing and Feeling Good, i agree that kendall’s love for sophie is uncomplicated, but imho the same is true with iverson. not much self-reflection other than kendall asking himself if he’s Good or Bad and not wanting to be the father his father was. and if iverson is “half rava” but not kendall’s, can you imagine the implications? this child is rava’s, she carried him for 40 weeks, she’s known him for longer than kendall has. but sophie!!! “bianca won’t let me feed megathump a piece of my bagel” because sophie Knows she’ll get what she wants / “soph! open up!” when kendall demands that sophie open the car door in church and state, because she’s his daughter! he’s manipulative, he’s insane, he thinks his girl has his back. i think that logan, paradoxically, interacts with iverson because he’s the one that needs fixing, the one that needs to be consoled after kendall almost drowns. kendall is so out of touch with his authority as a father, his mere physicality as a man, that he doesn’t even realize that, together with logan, he’s the one forcing his son to partecipate in the food-tasting mindfuck. i think that he simply doesn’t know what to do with a boy lol, it doesn’t come naturally to him, just like every other single thing he’s supposed to do and be

[referencing this post 🙂]

the OP isn't saying he thinks that's what the text is intending, he's just talking about how he enjoys the narrative situation it would create and the character implications that come from that haha

it's more like, Well, what if xyz? What happens then? which is fun!! its fun to think about all the little possible variations of character and how they would impact the narrative in different ways!

all that to say: I do also think Iverson not being Kendall's is interesting too! like. Logan is very obsessed with the idea of modern dynasty and legacy and Kendall spending his whole life the heir apparent is Very Aware of that fact and how much it would hurt his position to not be a father. so for Kendall, the struggle to have kids and seeking out alternate methods of parenthood feels like an enormous personal failure and is obviously a great source of shame for him -- Like. it is so upsetting to him that he physically assaults Roman for bringing it up as a mark against him lol

imo Kendall's relationship to fatherhood is very. emblematic of the way he views his relationship to Logan: Kendall wants to Be Logan, wants to be what's expected of him and follow in his footsteps, and when he's unable to do so he seeks out alternate paths and convinces himself that it's not the result of a failure of expectations but because he's actually Better Than Logan.

So-- he wants to have kids and create a hereditary dynasty because that is what his dad wants. He is unable to do so. He seeks out adoption and IVF and convinces himself that this is what Modern Parenting looks like and he is doing a Good Thing by parenting this way and Logan just doesn't get it because he is the past and Kendall is the future. But in his heart, he knows. He's ashamed.

I think that disconnect creates a mental barrier for Kendall and keeps him distant from his kids, so there's no real emotional connection between them beyond a superficial level: they are his kids so he loves them. You're supposed to love family, so he loves them.

and i think you're right that Kendall is closer to Sophie, but i feel that has more to do with Iverson's autism than anything else really. i think Sophie's the more "accessible" kid for Kendall to talk to bc of that, so she's easier to connect with in kendall's mind, which could be why he reaches out to her after being rejected by rava in church and state

With Iverson I think Kendall sees him as like. a Kid With a Disability and so is focused on ensuring his material needs are met, that he's ok, that he's not under duress, etc, that he never really thinks to like. connect with him as an individual. which I think is true with Sophie too to some extent. like I think he genuinely believes that because he gets the kids whatever they want (ex. a rabbit) he is being a Good Dad

and yes with Logan I pretty much agree. like I think he just ignores them for the most part because he doesn't really view them as "his" but occasionally Iverson will stick out to him in a way where he's like, "I know how to fix this situation and Kendall and Rava are just unable/unwilling to do it the way I see is the Right Way." i have more thoughts on logan but they're all a bit incoherent so I will leave it at that I think

ty anon!!

#hi anon. did not mean to take like a week to respond LOL hope you see this...! #also i lied i will share one thought re: logan #the moment between him and Sophie+Iverson in all the bells say is sooo interesting but also really puzzling to me #like narratively I understand the underlying motivation of the scene and why it's there #but character-wise #what it says about him and his relationship with his grandchildren? I'm not really sure! would love to hear anyone else's thoughts #Logan is hard to parse! he's a complicated guy! #succession #kendall roy #iverson roy #sophie roy