The line for the devastation ask I tagged you in:
She said to him
"I want to marry you. I want it all with you but that's selfish. I have nothing to offer you, but I would love to admire you for the rest of my life… if you'd have me."
Whew!! A sprint just for you!
45 minutes, 968 words, and a whole LOT of angst. You're welcome and I'm sorry. 🥲😢🥺🥹
Please imagine any Pedro boy you want to under the cut. 💖
***
“You can’t leave. You won’t leave me.”
“Goddammit! You don’t get to tell me what to do, not anymore!”
You threw armfuls of clothing, odds and ends and mismatched shoes into your suitcase, not caring what got jumbled or squashed or torn. He could burn the rest for all you cared, whatever you left behind. It would all be his to deal with, whether he wanted to set it on fire or or preserve it in perpetuity, an unchanging shrine to the woman he loved (past tense, you were certain of it).
He sprung up from his seat on the bed and began pacing, running his hands through his hair, scrunching and scraping his fingernails through those chestnut almost-curls that you loved so much.
You wanted to give in but you couldn’t, even though your strongest impulse was to sink down onto the plush lavender rug at the foot of the bed that you had picked out together, in the apartment that had been his for so long before he asked you to move in. The memory of that golden summer day stung the back of your throat, pushed more tears to the surface, caused you to ugly-sniff and choke on your own snot.
You clenched your jaw and shook the memory free from your head, looking around wildly for the rest of your possessions. Hairbrush. Books. Jewelry.
He was suddenly at your side, his large hand wrapped around your wrist with the most gentle of grasps. Not squeezing, not painful, not punitive… but not letting go, either. Not giving in, not letting you succumb to your hasty decision to leave.
You were stubborn, that much he knew, and you hated yourself for it. When you got this way, when the monster you’d fought all your life took hold, you wanted to let him take control instead, wrap his arms around you and soothe you and kiss you. You really did… but you also had the fatal flaw of having to be right, of leaving yourself out in the cold in order to prove to yourself that the monster was correct, because if you were wrong about that, then what else could you be wrong about? What other concrete, absolute facts would turn on their heads and yank the rug out from under you?
It was better to be right, to give in to the inner monologue that made your head throb and pulse with hot self-hatred, rather than give in to the man you loved. Better to be alone, correct, solid in your beliefs than to trust your boyfriend’s love. Love could be turned off, after all, and you knew that better than anyone.
“Just- just stay, please. I can’t live without-” his voice broke, and you hated yourself even more.
You stilled, staring at his hand on your wrist, as if you could find the answer there by studying the veins under his skin, the calluses and bones and the geography of his beautiful hands that you’d memorized.
“Please,” he said, exhaustion and pain and longing twisting his voice into a ragged whisper.
“Please talk to me. I won’t- I can’t force you to stay, but please tell me what you’re thinking, because if I did something wrong-”
“No,” you croaked out. “No, it’s not you. It was never you. It’s me.”
You lifted your eyes to his, a frisson of acrid self-loathing twisting your stomach when you saw the tears magnifying his beautiful brown eyes.
The monster got louder. You did that. You fucked up. You you you you you… it was always you. Nothing good could ever live within your orbit. Why were you always killing the nice things in your life?
“So you don’t want to marry me?” His eyes trailed to the velvet box on the nightstand, the catalyst for your panic, your blinding fear, your flight response to anything joyful.
“I- I don’t, I can’t- I mean I do, but-”
A sob suddenly wracked your body, shuddering waves of nausea rippling up from your toes to your shoulders.
"I want to marry you. I want it all with you, but,” a hiccup erupted, and you huffed, taking a deep breath to try to steady yourself.
“But that's selfish. I have nothing to offer you.”
He shook his head, vehement in his rebuttal.
“You have everything to offer me, everything. I want you. I want you in my bed and in my life and in my heart. I wouldn’t have proposed if I didn’t want you, and everything that goes with it.”
His jaw was set, big brown eyes suddenly blazing with passion, with how certain he was about his love for you.
Maybe giving in wouldn’t be bad, wouldn’t hurt more than being stubborn? Maybe it would be safe to put one foot on the bridge he was building for you, to take a step and trust that he would hold you and keep you from falling into the canyon you’d been throwing yourself into for decades. Could you trust him? Could you let him treat you better than the way you believed you deserved after the world had put its claws in you?
A deep breath, in, then out again, feeling your pulse pounding in your throat as you took a step, held your heart out for him to hold.
“I will always believe that I have nothing to offer you, nothing to offer to anyone, but I would love to admire you for the rest of my life… if you'd have me."
More tears rushed to his eyes, but the grin that split his face was your reward, the most pure and priceless thing he could ever offer you for trusting him.
You gave in, and his warmth wrapped around you as he pulled you close and kissed you. 💖
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[ cut in ] you look lovely in that dress, by the way.
Consider the dessert fork. A small, unassuming bit of silverware left unattended on several tables that the servants have not gotten to cleaning yet. Iraestra spots one temptingly close out of the corner of her eye. How much damage could she do to the soft of a throat with one? A tongue? An eye?
Longing consumes her utterly; if she could only steer her partner and herself a little closer, she might be able to reach behind her back and seize hold of one...
"...why, the value of electrum decreases by the day! Wars are disastrous for commerce, don't you know? Terrible, terrible business." The lord continues braying like a mule, quite unaware of Iraestra's disinterest, or how murderously her thoughts stray. This is their third turn around the room and she fears that with another she will quite thoroughly prove just how bloodthirsty her people can be. "Not that a lady as lovely as you need worry her head about such things."
Iraestra stiffens with the suddenness of her rage. She stops dancing entirely, making the inept little man stumble over his own feet. Lord or no, his flayed hide will be hers. Let her make a proper drow celebration of this ball.
"Vith'rell," she seethes, stepping dangerously close to her former dance partner. Her hand itches for a dessert fork. "Do you even comprehend with whom you speak? I am not one of your surface women to order around like a dog -"
"Lord Morely. You wouldn't mind overmuch if I were to steal your partner away, would you?" A familiar voice drawls. Though worded as a question, it is more a statement. Enver. He places himself quite thoroughly between the two of them, the only object shielding the cowering lord from her wrath.
The lord remains much too stunned to reply. Enver does not wait for such anyhow, placing a hand on Iraestra's lower back to guide her away. He murmurs the next words for her ears only. "That imbecile only spoke the truth once this entire evening. You do look lovely in that dress."
Iraestra scowls grandly. "I would have it so he never wagged his tongue again, compliments or not. Where have you been?" Watching, no doubt, for the perfect moment to make himself known.
dance magic dance ! / @fatewoven
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starter / @vulpesse
A new face in a place it didn't belong. Too pretty.
To be fair, the Strychnine Theater wasn't much of a place for anyone else either, littered with garbage and the residue of crimes so flagrantly committed. Bastards gutting addicts, the sickly and forgotten dying in the halls, the whipcracks of elemental magic cratering already crumbling walls, new and old bloodstains scuffing up blackstone and aged linoleum, drug dealers slinging their merch, men and women alike selling themselves for even a chance at putting food on the table-- It was a train wreck so front-and-center, anyone new to the place would never be able to pick out gothic architecture and grander design that once was elegant and beautiful, clean and proper. Days long past anyway, to be sure, but a shame that so lofty a house would become a ruin infested with the uglyness the underground had to offer - there was more than just a shoddy list of what was happening right then, in that particular moment. It was a slow day in the first place - typical of a Tuesday.
He had his eyes trained on her, however, though it wasn't out of concern for her safety. Rather, amusement, entertained by the hardness of her brow and the curiosity flashing in her gaze; She was obvious, but she put on a certain air - either she was foolish and didn't know what she was getting herself into, or she had a bag of tricks and the power to back it all up. Odds were on the latter, such confidence in her step. It was only a matter of time before some lesser creature approached her, challenged her, harassed her; This place wasn't known for its mercy, let alone toward women, and while he was unprincipled and wildfire in shifter form, that was abhorrent enough on its own - enough to pry him from his seat at the table, draw away from a deal already made and make a bee-line straight for her before anyone else ever had a chance. A nuisance, or a good boy? He chuckled-
-warmly, on his apprach, hands kept visible, body language open and friendly. This ought to be strange to her in a place like this, but she wouldn't find any other friendly faces here. He stood tall, squared his shoulders, tilting his head at her as a suggestion - Come sit wit me, miss ma'am, or someone worse's gonna invade yer space. A knowing enough look, an invitation.
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@tangleweave plotted starter
It hurts.
That's the first thought that pops up inside a mind that's blank otherwise. There's nothing happening; Vast darkness surrounding a point of existence that has neither legs nor arms, perhaps not even a mouth or a pair of eyes.
But by god, does it hurt.
Ka'anh - that's his name, right? - has gone through a lot during his life. He has experienced pain on a daily basis, he knows how to handle it, he knows how to endure the suffering that comes with each and every single wave of it.
And yet, he thinks that this pain he experiences is... more severe. It's different. It's perhaps the worst he's felt yet, and something inside the darkness he resides within tells him that this pain brings a fatal ending to a written story.
Maybe it does. Maybe that's how it will end, he thinks to himself.
How did it start, though?
He tries to remember. The darkness shifts a bit, but remains close, lingering on top of him like a heavy blanket. He remembers sounds, pictures; Kill him, they've said. End him, he's not worth it.
He'd been afraid, he remembers that as well. Had made a decision, had finally figured out how bad things truly were and that this moment, this second, would decide about his fate. Was Ka'anh supposed to die, or would he continue to life? It had been his decision to make; He didn't want to die without putting up a fight.
He was made to fight, so he did precisely that: He fought.
And, somehow, he'd managed to free himself. He remembers the pain shooting through his back, literally so, as bullets made of plasma cut through his tissue and sensitive nerve-endings; He remembers how he gasped for air as he broke a living being's sternum with the weight of his own body, the pressure of a heavy boot. He remembers how he ripped a weapon out of another one's grasp and smashed the butt of it against a face, teeth and bones shattering, sending blood flying through the air.
Ka'anh remembers that he's made it; In the end, he's stayed alive, despite his injuries. He's fled, and he's captured a shuttle to fly into space with.
But now he's here. Somehow, he's somewhere else, he assumes; The darkness around him wobbles and begins to fade, and he realizes he's still very much made of legs and arms, and all four hurt. One hurts the most - his left leg, and he isn't sure whether he can even move any of them to begin with.
Open your eyes, something tells him. Open your eyes and take a look, free yourself from the nothingness, assess the damage and go on!Fight, you have been made to do that, after all.
Fight, continue to work your way up and out.
Fight, because you won't die without putting up one.
Ka'anh fights and opens his eyes, which he still possesses, thank god. Colors start to appear, a brightness that's much too intense and makes him groan from between a set of clenched teeth; His sense of smell returns, at least somewhat, and the scent that floods his nostrils is made of copper, burned flesh and molten metal.
He's in so much pain - so, so much. Squeezing his eyes shut once again, he grunts, huffing out a breath before taking in another; His lungs rattle as he does. An internal injury, most likely one or two broken ribs that have stabbed his lungs and fill them with blood. He tries to focus but his head is swimming, and he wonders if he's suffering from a serious brain-injury.
It would make sense, he realizes: he's crash-landed his shuttle onto another planet.
Yes, he remembers. The... thing that had appeared in the vastness of space, like a tear forming in reality, sucking him in, causing his vessel to malfunction, to be thrown toward another planet he's never seen before---
Ka'anh moans out as his head keeps pounding in sync with his heartbeat; It feels like as if it gets stabbed, over and over again. Tears flow freely from the corners of his eyes - or is it blood? he doesn't know - and as much as he tries, he just can't get up. He turns his head, blinks his eyes open, but - once again - just spots blurry colors, a brightness surrounding him that's too much to take, so he closes them.
He lies on his stomach, on what must be dirt, and he can feel something brush along his form - wind, perhaps. Most sounds he can listen to are muffled, including his own pathetic groans and grunts, but he thinks he can hear a fire burning somewhere to his right.
Must be his shuttle, destroyed and in flames, he thinks.
He needs to get up. He needs to... somehow... he has to...
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