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Lily Evans Definitely Has a Boyfriend Chapter 3

FINALLY I get to write dialogue for my fave couple! Chap 1 Chap 2

Lily’s mouth hung open. She struggled to say anything but it felt like someone had put a silencing charm on her and she couldn’t make a sound. She just couldn’t stop looking at the visitor who had appeared on her doorstep and was currently grinning at her state of shock.

“Cat got your tongue? Or have I just taken your breath away?” he pretended to muse, reaching up again to mess with his hair. His words shook Lily out of her state of shock, quickly turning it into anger.

“What do you think you’re playing at, Potter,” she hissed, prodding him backwards so she could close the front door behind her. She didn’t want Petunia catching wind of this conversation, although Lily doubted she’d even be awake for a while. Petunia insisted on getting her beauty sleep.

“You requested one fake boyfriend, and here I am.” He seemed unabashed by her tone. Probably the months of practise in school ignoring Lily’s disgust for him.

“On Saturday! Four days away from now!” she said slowly, as if talking to a toddler.

“Well I figured we could use a planning meeting, you know, to work out our backstory!” he protested.

“We could have planned via owl! Without you actually coming to my house!”

“Come on Lily, you know this is a better plan. And if your sister meets me more than once, she’ll be way more likely to believe it.”

He made a good point. Lily frowned, considering her options.

One, she tells Potter to get lost right now and the plan is cancelled. That wouldn’t help Lily at all, no matter how satisfying it would feel.

Two, she tells him to get lost and come back on Saturday. Also not helpful. He would probably back out just to piss her off, and even if he didn’t, he was right. Just sending a few letters wasn’t enough to build up the pretence of a relationship.

Three, she goes along with him until they had worked out the backstory, and introduced him to Petunia, THEN she tells him to get lost until Saturday. Loath as she was to put up with his nonsense before she had even had a cup of tea, she knew this was the best she would get.

“Fine, let’s talk,” she closed the front door fully and began to walk down the pavement.

“Uh, Lily, you don’t have shoes on,” he said, hesitating by the house as she continued to stomp away.

“Shoes aren’t the priority right now. Let’s go, we can’t risk my sister overhearing,” she commanded. James shrugged off his confusion and ran up to catch her.

“Your wish is my command, darling,” he smiled, slinging an arm over her shoulder only to be immediately shrugged off.

“Absolutely none of that or this whole thing is cancelled,” she snapped, giving him a dirty look.

“Oh come on Lily, you can’t expect your sister to believe we’re going out if you won’t even give me a hug,” he laughed.

“Well she’s not here right now, is she? Honestly Potter, you would think-”

“And it’s not very affectionate to just call me by my surname you know!” James cut her off. “I was thinking more on the lines of babe, darling, sexy-” Lily came to a sudden stop and crossed her arms before he could finish his list.

“Look, you’re clearly just here to take the piss so why don’t you just go back home right now and leave me to have my summer in peace,” she said sharply.

James stopped too. “Aw come on Lily, you know how ridiculous this whole situation is, I’m just trying to have a bit of fun.”

“Well it’s not fun for me!” Lily almost yelled. “It’s my sister, and my family, and you’re just here to try to- oh just forget it, this was a stupid idea anyway.” Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes and she turned to head back inside. She hadn’t taken two steps before a warm hand grabbed her shoulder, and she felt his presence close behind her.

“Lily, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make fun of you, honestly,” he said, his voice low and soft. “I genuinely just want to help you, that’s why I’m here. I promise I’m not trying it on with you. God knows you would hex my balls off before I got anywhere near.”

Lily coughed to cover up her laughter, eyes firmly fixed on the pavement.

“Do you still want to go take a walk and talk things over? If I promise to not be a git?” James asked hopefully.

She looked up at him. His hazel eyes looked very sincere, and his hand dropped from her arm respectfully as soon as she turned back. She didn’t think she had ever heard him apologise before, not for any of his outlandish pranks, not for any of his hexes on Snape, and especially not for any of the times he had asked her out. Apologising was a new side of James Potter to Lily, just as forgiving him would be a new thing for her.

Truthfully, she didn’t even really know why she had got so angry. A couple of cheeky jokes on his part, her early morning bad mood, plus the general habit of getting pissed off at the sight of him just led to a volatile mix. But, Lily thought, no time like the present to try to change.

“Okay,” she whispered. She looked down, unable to hold his eye contact any longer. “I’m sorry too, I guess I’m just really stressed about the whole thing. Can’t say I’ve ever faked a relationship before.”

“Perfectly understandable, although I’d recommend not yelling at me during the dinner if you’re aiming for believability,” he nudged her gently. They started to walk back down the street again, James looking around with interest at the Muggle suburbia surrounding them.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a Muggle village before,” he noted, staring intently at mundane things like TV aerials and doorbells. Lily begrudgingly smiled again at his enthusiasm, before a realisation hit her.

“Hang on, how did you even get here? I never said where I live!” she asked curiously.

James looked a bit sheepish. “Ah, well, you see, I was a bit excited when I got your letter, I thought it was best to start preparations as soon as possible, and I didn’t want to wait for your owl to go all the way back to you, and-”

“Remus told you, didn’t he,” she deduced, rolling her eyes. “That snake.”

“It wasn’t his fault Lily, I didn’t give him much choice. I said I was apparating whether he told me where to go or not, and if I splinched myself horribly I was holding him entirely responsible,” James confessed.

“You’re a horrible friend to that boy,” Lily tutted.

James clapped a hand to his chest, gasping. “How dare you! I’ll have you know I was the picture of innocence before that demon Lupin came along and dragged me down the path to iniquity.”

Lily snorted. “And Dumbledore’s beard’s a wig.”

“I always said there was something not quite right about it, no beard should be that shiny and luscious.”

Lily started to laugh properly. Despite James’ irritating tendencies, he wasn’t half bad company. They were both still giggling as they reached a park at the end of Lily’s street. It had clearly seen better days, with no kids taking advantage of the nice weather to play outside. There was a roundabout covered in graffiti, a couple of sad swings with uneven chains, and a seesaw that looked as if one good push would knock it over completely. The pair decided that the swings looked the least hazardous, and sat down.

“Shall we get down to business?” James suggested, pushing himself gently back and forth.

“Yes, right,” Lily said. “Well, basically I… I mean I was thinking…” Lily’s mind had gone totally blank. How were they going to pull this off? Where did they even start?

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this, haven’t you,” James grinned.

“Shut up, Potter,” Lily rolled her eyes.

“Alright, rule one, call me James,” he said, still grinning. “We can save the pet names till we know each other better.”

“Or maybe we just won’t be that kind of couple,” Lily said quickly. “Rule two no… funny business from you.” She hoped James would pick up what she meant.

“Define funny business.” James’ eyes twinkled at her. He definitely knew what she meant.

“Potter,” she threatened.

“Alright, alright, no ‘funny business’,” he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. “Although you do realise there will have to be some sort of physical contact at some point.”

“I know that, just not… you know…” Lily blushed.

“No ravishing you in front of the family?” said James.

“If that’s how you want to put it,”

“I could be more specific if you like.”

“I think we can move on, Pot-” she stopped dead as he coughed loudly. “What are you- oh, James, then.”

“There you go!” he encouraged. “Step one achieved.”

“I thought it was rule one?”

“What’s twenty-nine knuts to a sickle, Lily, you’re nit-picking.”

“Fine, new topic. What’s our backstory?”

“How much have you told your sister already?” Potter asked.

“Nothing, she doesn’t even know your name yet.”

James pretended to look offended. “You mean you haven’t been boasting about me all evening? I expected to pretend to be the youngest ever Minister for Magic or something.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “In your dreams. I did tell my mum that we got together during our sixth-year exams, but that’s about all I’ve said so far.”

“And I’m assuming you’re ruling out any scenarios where I save you from a burning classroom, sweep you off your feet and fly us away on my broomstick?”

“You would be correct.”

“My talents are wasted here.”

“How about something a little more realistic, like we studied together a couple of times and just… started going out?” Lily trailed off feebly. James didn’t look impressed.

“Sounds super romantic.”

“At least mine sounds plausible!”

“Lily the only thing more boring than your idea of romance is History of Magic.”

“Well, then, what do you suggest?”

James looked thoughtful for a moment, stopping his swinging entirely. “How about I asked you to Hogsmeade for the last trip of the year. You said yes because I hadn’t pissed you off in a good few months, and you were bored anyway so why not take a chance, right? We ended up talking in the Three Broomsticks the whole afternoon, finding out we really had a lot in common when we weren’t hexing each other. After that, we wound up spending more and more time together. We would go and fly around the Quidditch pitch between exams, to keep our minds off things. You stole my broom whenever I would let you, which would be all the time because I couldn’t say no to you, and to be fair it is a pretty fantastic model. Finally I worked up all my Gryffindor courage just before we sat our last exam, and asked you to go out with me proper. And you said yes, of course,” he clarified.

Lily was once again left speechless. It all just sounded… perfect. She could almost believe that it had actually happened, he said it with such care and tenderness. She could see them on their first date, butterbeer in hand, cracking jokes with each other like they’d been doing for the past few minutes. Maybe his hand would have edged towards hers on the table. Maybe she would have taken it.

“Sorry, that was probably too much backstory, we should simplify,” James misinterpreted her silence, furrowing his brow.

“No, no, that was… amazing, really believable,” Lily replied, shaking herself back into reality. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “We should definitely go with that.”

“You sure? You seemed a bit… unenthusiastic,” said James, hand ruffling his hair.

“No, really, I was just processing it, that’s all. You’ve got a great imagination,” she said.

“Just had a lot of time to think about it, that’s all.” A note of sadness tinged his voice and he couldn’t quite meet her eye. Lily pretended she didn’t understand what he was referring to.

“Did I really leave you out on my doorstep that long?” she joked. James thankfully took the bait, a small smile returning to his face.

“Sounds about right. You’re a rubbish owl owner, I was hooting at you for ages,” he admonished.

“Well Scarlett always comes to my bedroom window, not the front door! And how do you make that noise, anyway?” Lily asked.

“It’s easy, you just put your hands together like this-” his hands closed around each other “and blow into it.” He put his mouth to his thumbs, and a low hoot came out. Lily tried to copy him, but all she heard was air rushing through her fingers. She tried again and again, not getting anywhere close.

“Just takes a bit of practise, you’ll get there,” he encouraged, laughing as her face got increasingly red from her efforts.

Lily gave up with a frustrated sigh, getting up from the swing.

“I’ll get it some other time. Shall we head back?”

“You- you want me to meet your family right now?” James questioned nervously.

“Wasn’t that the whole idea of you coming over this early? Getting cold feet already, are you?” Lily teased.

“I think you’re the one with cold feet here, Miss Lily ‘I don’t need shoes’ Evans,” James answered, leaping off his swing. “Here, these things are great, wish I’d had one when I was younger.”

“I used to come here all the time before I came to Hogwarts,” said Lily. “I would jump off right at the top, and…” She paused, her face growing sad. James looked at her curiously.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Nothing, it was just… here, when I jumped off the swing, that was when I met Snape,” Lily eventually finished.

“Ah,” said James awkwardly.

Lily was grateful when he didn’t say more. She didn’t like discussing her old friend at the best of times, and discussing him with the boy who was his worst enemy was even less appealing. They set off back down the street in silence, watching people starting to rush to work. Lily couldn’t believe it was still so early, she felt like she’d spent a whole day with James already.

“So, before I meet them, what should your fake boyfriend know about your family?” James asked, breaking their silence.

“Well, my sister’s called Petunia, and she’s marrying a man called Vernon Dursley,” Lily began.

“That’s a… distinguished name,” James said tactfully.

“I don’t like him much, you don’t need to pretend,” she said.

“He sounds like a git,” James replied.

“He is a git. But they’re happy, at least. They’re getting married in December,” Lily continued. “That’s why Petunia’s home at the minute, she’s planning the wedding with my mum.”

“And hopefully after Saturday, you as well?”

“That’s the plan,” said Lily grimly.

“What’s your mum’s name? Do I need to win her over as well?” he smirked down at Lily, who glared back.

“No flirting with my mum, Potter,” she growled.

“I’m here to flirt with you, Evans, don’t worry,” he said, winking at her. “Joking, joking!” he added when she glared at him.

“Thin ice, Pot- James,” said Lily.

“Alright last question, will your dad be interrogating me at any point about my intentions toward his daughter?” said James.

Lily tried her best to keep her features neutral. “He’s… he died when we were in fourth year.”

James looked intensely uncomfortable, dropping the cocky attitude. “Merlin, Lily, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s fine, don’t worry, you didn’t know,” she said abruptly. “Shall we do this then? Feeling prepared?” They had reached her front door once more, and she looked up at him. She didn’t trust him not to do something absurd, nor did she feel anywhere near prepared enough, but it was now or never.

He smiled back at her. “You know me, I’m ready for anything. Now, can I hold your hand, fake girlfriend?” He offered her his hand, looking steady and confident. After a split-second’s hesitation, she took it.

“I suppose so, fake boyfriend,” she sighed. He intertwined their fingers, making it look as natural as if they did this every day.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door, and led James into her house.

***

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