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holyfuckthisfishcandrive · 4 years

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Professors and Shortbread

First, Previous (Chap. 18), Ao3

Word count: 2186

Warnings: smoking, swearing, bones (talked about)

Roman woke up to someone violently shaking him.

"Wake up," Remus hissed. "Wake up, wake up, wake up, asshole!"

"What is it?" Roman grumbled, trying to shake Remus' hand off. "Fuck, Remus, it's like three am! We have school tomorrow, you fucking dick."

"Roman, I just realized something! Stop hitting me, this is important!"

Roman groaned and finally sat up.

"What is so important that you have to wake me up at three am on a school night?"

"It's more like four am, but that's beside the point," Remus waved off. "I just realized that Professor Logic is really fucking stupid."

Roman blinked at him exasperatedly.

"Okay," he said after a moment. "Mind if I go back to sleep now?"

"No, this is important! When I called him Mr Logic he complained, saying that he didn't go to school for years to get called Mister. If that's true that would mean that he's actually a Professor!" Remus whisper yelled.

Roman glanced from one side to the other than back to Remus.

"Yeah?"

"There can't be that many Professors in this city right? Especially not that many young, male, tall ones!"

Finally, it dawned on Roman what Remus was saying.

"So... we can try to find out his civilian identity," he mumbled and a wide grin spread over Remus' face.

"Exactly!"

---

Usually, Roman stuck around after rehearsal for a little while, chatted with the other members of the drama club or helped out with something while Remus goofed around with his friends in the club but on this Wednesday he and Remus grabbed their bags as soon as the bell rung and were the first ones out of the door.

They all but ran out all the way back home, almost getting hit by a taxi and earning a few looks and glares on the way.

The elevator ride was way too long in Roman's opinion.

They dropped their bags in their rooms, Remus got the list he had created of all Professors whose addresses he could find in the phone book or on the internet and Roman put on his 'good kid' mask to ask Ma for a little money, pretending that it was just for him. She gave him a fifty-dollar bill. The money was for the subway and a quick lunch on the go and Roman was pretty sure that it was way more than they would need but better safe than sorry. He wasn't sure how much fast food would cost.

And just a few minutes after they had come home they were already on their way out again.

Most Professors lived downtown or at least near downtown so they first took a train downtown and went to a small Chinese place for lunch (which was a lot cheaper than Roman had expected).

Remus pulled out a map and they began marking down the addresses to see which route would be the best. Roman doubted they could check out all of them in one day but they would do their best either way.

33 Professors was a lot for one city but Remus guessed it made sense since apparently here in downtown housing was cheap and the university was very close.

The first name on their list was Professor Jacobs.

They sauntered through the streets, using their map as a guide.

The house they ended up in front of was a trashy apartment building with at least five notes at the doorbell signs saying that the bells didn't work.

Roman pressed the Professors bell and turned to Remus.

"I'll do the talking, okay? Cause if we do find Logic I don't want you blurting out the actual we're here."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. Sorry, I'm honest."

He didn't really mean it, well aware of how many times he had gotten on trouble for blurting out the truth without thinking.

The door buzzed and the pushed it open.

"Who's there?" an old-sounding voice called and as he looked up through the stairs Remus spotted a man that looked like one of those fivehundred-year-old turtles trying to look down.

"We have the pizza you ordered," Roman called back.

"I didn't order any pizza!"

"Are you sure- Oh, my mistake, sir! I misread the name! I'm terribly sorry, have a nice day!" Roman did his typical Prince Charming smile even though the man couldn't see - It was simply part of the performance - and pushed Remus back out of the door. As soon as it fell shut the smile fell again.

"If that was Logic I'm eating Ma's hats," Remus said.

Roman snorted and Remus' grin widened at the real smile on his brother's face. They were too rare.

"Okay, who's next on the list?" Roman said and Remus crossed Professor Jacobs off.

The next door they rang at was opened by a young woman named Professor Jain who looked like the living embodiment of the muddle-headed professor cliche. Roman asked which apartment someone they had seen on the bell sign an L. Williams lived in, claiming they had found their purse and awkwardly thanked her when she didn't know. Remus glanced at the door across from Prof Jain's that clearly said Williams and tried not to laugh out loud.

They visited Professor Davis and Professor Brown, Professor Price and Morgan and Professor Underweather.

Too old, too fat, too much boob, too brown, too short.

It was around seven pm now and they had had seven flukes which somehow was both too much (because why couldn't they just fucking find that asshole? Remus lit a cigarette in frustration) and too little (because how could they only have stopped by seven people so far? It was already getting too late, goddammit).

"Let's do one more and then go home," Roman yawned.

"So whose last for today?" Remus asked glancing at the list Roman was currently holding.

"Some Professor Youngblood. About as weird a name as Underweather. Good news: it's just a block away."

They walked down the street and Remus watched the smoke from his cig curl and fade into the evening sky. A few times he tried to make rings but he still couldn't figure out how to. Maybe that was just a cartoon thing though he could have sworn to have seen it in live-action movies too. Were there YouTube tutorials on this kind of stuff?

"Here it is," Roman said and Remus blinked back to reality.

They stood in front of a simple townhouse. The most notable thing was the flower bouquet visible in one of the windows that looked like something Patton would make.

"Let's give it a shot," Remus said dropped his cig and extinguished it with his shoe.

They walked up the three steps to the front door and Roman rung the doorbell. It was only one with two names. Youngblood and Youngblood-Smith.

Probably a marriage, Remus thought with distaste and prepared himself for some old dick to open up.

The door swung open and to Remus' surprise, it was a teenager probably even younger than them who leaned against the doorframe and glared at them. His eyeliner was sharper and neater than Remus would be able to make it in a thousand years and his lips were painted in a nice shade of dark purple. Maybe Remus should ask him what brand it was. It looked awesome.

"What do you want?" the boy asked with a scowl.

Remus waited for Roman to answer with some kind of excuse or something.

Roman remained silent.

The boy's glare became darker with every passing moment.

At this rate, he probably wouldn't tell Remus what lipstick he was using.

Annoyed Remus glanced over at Roman to see what the fuck was keeping him from saying anything.

The look on Roman's face almost made him gag.

Roman stared at the boy in front of them like he was the most incredible thing in the world. Like he had put the stars in the sky or was made from pure moonlight or some stupid shit like that. He stared at him as he stared into the air when he had some stupid crush or played some lovestruck idiot. He stared like he was going to start waxing poetry at any second now.

Remus doubted he had even heard the boy speak at all.

So he would have to take the situation into his own hands.

"You don't happen to be Professor Youngblood, do you?" Remus asked.

The boy raised an eyebrow.

"Do I look like I'm a fucking Professor? I'm his son, dumbass."

"Is he home?"

"No, not at the moment. What do you want from him?"

The he/him pronouns were a good sign so far and Remus couldn't imagine this guy's dad to be a Doderer. The British accent, on the other hand, wasn't a good sign but Logic could probably cover his accent or something if he really wanted to.

Roman also seemed to finally be back on earth and not on cloud nine.

"We're students of his and we have a question about this homework he gave us," he lied before Remus could say anything.

"You are?" the boy raised his other eyebrow.

"Yes, we are. Do you happen to know if he'll be back soon?"

"Not sure," the boy shrugged. "If it's that important you can come in and wait though. I could also offer you some black tea."

"Really? Yeah, er that would be awe- I mean, that would be nice!" Roman agreed.

"What are your names?" the boy asked as he led them inside. He walked past a door that probably went down to a basement and a staircase up into a small living room.

"I'm Roman," Roman said with a small bow - Jesus fucking Christ was he going fucking insane over this guy?

"And I'm Remus. I'm the good-looking twin, obviously."

The Professor's son chuckled, hiding his mouth behind his hand. "Obviously."

"And what's your name?" Roman sounded like he was asking for a precious gift rather than a fucking name.

"It's Virgil. Do you take milk and sugar in your tea?"

"Milk in tea?" Roman asked confused.

"Yeah, sure!" Remus agreed. Maybe the milk would flake as it did in juice.

Virgil came back with two cups and poured them, giving Roman a little bit of milk anyway, saying that it would be way too strong otherwise and he couldn't allow Roman to drink it pure but somehow Roman didn't complain when Virgil stood over him to pour it in. God, he was being fucking gross and sappy.

Virgil picked up his own cup again and offered them some weird cookies he called shortbread even though they didn't taste like bread at all.

Remus dumped two in his tea - which sadly hadn't flaked - and mushed them around with his spoon.

For a few minutes, it was quiet until Remus got bored with the steady clicking of the clock hanging on the wall behind him.

"So, do you like bones?" he blurted out the first question that came to mind.

Roman looked at him with barely concealed horror but Virgil's dark expression lightened up slightly to both of the twins' surprise.

"I do. It's fun to find them and clean them. I have a few in a cupboard in my room I've found in subways and other places over the years."

"Really?" Remus lit up excitedly. "I collect them too! My favourite is a near-complete snake skeleton with a rat skull stuck inside!"

"Wow! That sounds so cool!" Virgil didn't quite smile but he wasn't scowling anymore either. "I once found a dog jaw in a quite good conditiion. And I have this really nice possum skull."

"Ooh! Can I see them?" Remus asked bouncing slightly in his seat.

"Sure. Wait here, I'll go get them," Virgil stood up and left the room. Remus could hear him walk upstairs.

"He seems nice," he commented.

"He's beautiful," Roman sighed dreamily.

"Yuck."

"You get to rant about sexy people to me, I get to talk about crushes, that's the deal," Roman reminded him.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine, sure. But don't be too gross about it."

They heard Virgil come back downstairs.

He showed Remus the bones and gave him some tips when Remus asked how he had gotten them so clean.

"Oh, jeez it's almost eight. We should probably get going," Roman said after a while. "Maybe we'll get to talk to the Professor some other time."

Virgil seemed to study his face for a few moments.

"Yeah, maybe," he finally said and accompanied them to the door.

"Can I have your number?" Remus asked holding out his phone. "Then I can send you some pics of my bones and stuff!"

"Sure," Virgil took it and typed something in. "Maybe we'll get the chance to talk again sometime."

The door closed behind them and Roman swirled around to face Remus.

"You got his number?!"

"Yeah, duh."

"That's not fair! Why did he give you his number and not me!"

"Well, I didn't drool over him," Remus shrugged.

Roman pouted the entire way to the train station.

Taglist:

@patton-cake

#sanders sides #roman sanders #ts roman #remus sanders #ts remus #virgil sanders #ts virgil #prinxiety #platonic intruxiety #bonding time bitches #remus is aro #and not a fan of romance #bone bonding is the best form of bonding #jk #creativity twins

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firstumcschenectady · 4 years

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“By Whose Authority” based on Psalm 78:1-4, 12-16, Matthew 21:23-32

There are fantastic people in life who are able to quickly assess a situation, and make a solid decision on a response. I deeply envy those people. I'm a different kind of person, one who wants access to as much information as possible, and then often internally oscillates repeatedly. A good friend doing committee work with me once told me that “our meetings would go a lot faster if you would stop debating with yourself – outloud.” #truth.

Because I've been examining the Gospel lesson this week, I am aware that decisions require deciding where we put our trust. That is, who or what has authority. That is because the central question in today's Gospel lesson is one of authority. Jesus was teaching, but as a poor man without a formal position or education, he didn't have a whole lot of authority. The chief priests and elders had the education and the positions. They held formal authority.

In that time and place, like any other, authority mattered. They seem genuinely confused. “why is this guy speaking like he has authority when he has none? Does he have a powerful patron he is speaking for?” The answer Jesus gives amounts to “I have the authority of the respect of the people.”1

DANG.

That itself uprooted everything in his society. This was bottom up power and everyone knew that power came from the top down. Those crowds, however, knew that the power from the top down was profoundly corrupt and corrupting.

So, who or what has authority for you?

And, if you say it is God, (*great*) what does that mean for you?

One of the gifts of the Methodist movement has been a way of thinking about authority that creates some balance. The “Wesleyan Quadrilateral” suggests that when looking for truth about things to do with God, faith, and people, we take into account Scripture, Tradition, Scholarship2, and Personal Experience. If something can be made sense of with all 4 of those areas of authority, it can be trusted. If not, it has to be handled more carefully.

That said, each of the pieces of the quadrilateral is more complicated than it may seem. For instance, how scripture is understood seems to be a range wide enough to include pretty much every opinion and its opposite, and yet somehow with great conviction on every side. :( I believe it is pretty clear that the authority of “church tradition” is similarly broad, as is personal experience. I think the Psalm tries to answer the authority question with some sort of balance of scripture and tradition – it says that because God has cared for us, we can trust God. That's all fine and good, but it still doesn't answer our deeper questions.

For example, there is the question of what our faith community looks like during this global pandemic. The issue, as you may be aware, is that the first general rule of John Wesley is “First do no harm.” But that is ALSO not simple (nothing is simple with me, sorry). Because doing no harm means not exposing anyone to increased risk of COVID exposure. BUT, it also means not letting people who are hungry struggle with their hunger when we can give them food (so we have kept Breakfast open, even while offering it as take out). It means making sure that families living in poverty still have toilet paper, diapers, and hygiene products (so we have been giving away our SUSTAIN supplies while our distribution has been closed.) It means making sure people have access to others, in community, to be heard and to share life (our Zoom Check in, the Midweek Coffee Hour, the Bridging the Distance Groups.)

And, still, we know we have excluded. Not everyone has internet. Because the internet is PROFOUNDLY not the same, not everyone gains a sense of connection via the internet. There has been a yearning for being in our worship space, for sharing space, for being more together.

And yet, still, “do no harm” with a pandemic! So, what to do? After MONTHS of internal oscillation, and lots of conversation with others, the best plan I have to offer is this: we keep our worship online. We keep our Zoom check in as worship part 2. We ALSO offer a “Contemplative Prayer Service” at 10AM in the Sanctuary. This service won't involve singing, or even congregational speaking. It will be quiet, still, reflective. There will be masks and social distancing. It will be short (30 minutes or less). All of this will minimize risk – but also respond to need.

Truth be told, I also LOVE contemplative prayer, and I think many of us need some time of stillness and prayer, and this may be good for our spiritual journeys.

It wasn't easy to figure out how to go forward, and more difficult questions will keep coming, but this is where we got to for now. My authorities have been the medical and scientific communities, the responses we've gotten from the church, the reopening committee, and my own personal experience.

If I'm actually honest about how I make decisions, it all comes down to love. My question is, “what is the most loving option” and then I have to take into account “for myself,” “for others,” “for the whole.” And that still doesn't create easy answers, but at least it means I'm making decisions in ways I can respect.

(Let me take this time to say that pandemic decisions are ALL HARD, and we all come to them with different bodies, different risks, and different risk assessments. We aren't all making the same choices, but I hope we are all trying to care for each other in our choices.)

So, for a moment, I'm going to assume that you want to go with me down the “what is most loving” path. I imagine you'd ask, “what about when I'm stuck or unsure?” In the past several years, I have been working on.... trusting myself a bit more. Now, when I find myself stuck (including procrastinating), I ask myself “why” and explore it. While there sometimes feels like urgency, I've found that when I (prayerfully) explore my stuckness, I usually discover something really important that isn't being cared for. (This is really how we got to a contemplative prayer service, I couldn't figure out how to make in person worship work for enough people!)

The other piece is to trust other people to tell you when you are wrong. This, actutally, is very Wesleyan, and I think it is one of the most important aspects of faith community. We're all wrong sometimes. Which means we all need to be corrected sometimes. Which means it is really good to work on the skill of listening to others, and admitting our errors.

This isn't a lot of new advice, is it? Trust yourself when you are stuck that you are stuck for a reason, let love guide your choices, and admit it when you are wrong? Like most faith stuff though, this is all easier said than done. That, and it is pretty clear that authority and decisions are still hard for me!

Let me offer one more little thing then. I've often heard it said around this church, “question everything” and I agree. We question everything, and we try to come down on the side of love, and we seek to be open to correction and then …. we need on more piece. The final piece is to practice forgiveness of self and of others, because we're all going to err even when we do our best.

With all this, may we get ever better at using God, and God's love, as our utmost authority. Amen

1Based on the work of Bruce J Malina and Richard L. Rohrbaugh in “Social Science Commentary on the Synpotic Gospels” pages 108-109.

2Usually called “reason,” but that leads to misunderadning,

Rev. Sara E. Baron First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 Pronouns: she/her/hers http://fumcschenectady.org/ https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

September 27, 2020

#Thinking Church #Progressive CHristianity #First UMC Schenetady #Schenectady #UMC #Sorry about the UMC #Question Everything #infp #Rev Sara E Baron #Pandemic

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

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The Ray #1

In 1994, I had no idea who Christopher Priest and Howard Porter were so I have no idea why I purchased this comic book.

Although (continuing the thought from the caption which is just me saying, "Fuck the format! I can do what I want!") I was in my early 20s in 1994 so I was probably into that edgy fascination with freaks and body deformity. I hadn't seen Tod Browning's Freaks yet but I'm sure I would have jumped at the chance if I'd known about it. It's the only reason I can figure why I bought a comic book about a character I knew nothing about. Because it looks like he's a hero with a deformed baby leg. I probably picked it up off the shelf and yelled, "Fuckin' A, dude! Look at this ganky bastich!" It was 1994 so obviously I was emulating Lobo in my every day life. Some of you might be thinking, "Ugh! You're so gross and problematic!" But I'm just being honest! I was a young man, masking like crazy in order to hide my vulnerabilities so I wouldn't be crushed by social interactions and existential threats to my psyche. I had to act tough to survive the crazy streets of Santa Clara, California! Back then, Silicon Valley wasn't like it is now! In 1994, hulking techno-nerds were roaming the streets with razor sharp circuit boards looking to cut the genitals off of anybody who criticized the Neo-Geo CD home gaming console. If you looked at them funny, they'd challenge you to a game of Cyberball and you'd better hope you won because they were also obsessed with Mortal Combat and if you lost, the last thing you'd hear would be a bunch of techno-nerds screaming "Finish him!" before you found yourself upside down gagging on the filthy water of an unflushed public toilet. The early nineties were some rough years! Especially when you were into heavy metal! People think grunge and rap killed metal but think about what people thought was "rock and roll" during the early 90s: Warrant's "Cherry Pie" and Extreme's "More Than Words." I mean, Feetal's Gizz! Metal was dead long before grunge and rap came by to fill its grave. Anyway, you could totally be into freaks in the early 90s because the Internet didn't exist so your opinions weren't reaching anybody outside your small circle of friends. All the other people of the world who didn't know you at all didn't have a way to tell you you were a piece of shit because of one single thing that comprised the myriad facts of who you were. Fuck you, Internet! No, no! I'm sorry! Don't be mad at me, Internet! I can't live without you! Also, maybe I just bought this comic book because the cover was shiny and embossed and growing up in Santa Clara was so boring that it made this comic book looked exciting. The issue begins with The Ray battling Brimstone. Remember him from Legends?

Brimstone is as big as Godzilla and he's already killed hundreds of people, judging by the apartment buildings he's smashed.

I don't know who The Ray is or where he's from. What part of the United States of America uses slang like "gaffle," "put my serve on," "zoom this buster," "bone out," "feebs," and "rot." Is this just Christopher Priest trying to mimic youth speak? I would expect this kind of thing from an aging comic book writer like current Neal Adams but Priest was in his early thirties when he wrote this. Maybe The Ray is from another Earth and Priest's theory was that slang words would obviously differ between Earths. But not so much that you couldn't get the gist of what he's saying. Except for "gaffle." I don't know what the fuck he wants to do to Brimstone when he says he's going to gaffle him. I know what I would mean by it but that doesn't seem appropriate in this situation.

Oh wait. The Ray was just writing fan-fiction about himself.

So the Brimstone fight didn't really happen. Or it did happen but The Ray is using it as fodder to write comic books about himself. So he's like Clark Kent writing articles about Superman? At least writing comic book stories about your own adventures isn't unethical. Fucking Clark Kent. What kind of a journalist uses his soap box to simply promote himself? No wait. Journalists fucking suck. I despise journalists for the same reason I despise police officers. If you're just letting your profession go to shit because a bunch of people are abusing their positions of power and not actually doing the public service they're supposed to be doing, you're just as bad as the worst apple in the barrel. There's a reason that whole apple/barrel thing is still a saying even though nobody really associates apples with barrels anymore. Maybe The Ray isn't writing comic books although it seems like the super edgy postmodern take a writer in the 90s would think was fucking mind blowing. We got Kyle Rayner, comic book artist, as the new Green Lantern. Why shouldn't we also get a comic book writer in there as well? Or The Ray might just be writing stories for his college paper which would mean he's just as unethical and terrible as Clark Kent, I suppose. But in an amateurish way. The Ray (whose name is Ray Terrill so it was lucky he got light-based powers) stops trying to write and decides to tell the readers about the last few days. He's a young guy who works at a fast food chicken joint and has just leased his first apartment. It's a piece of shit with some garbage and/or artistic sculpture in the middle of the room but he doesn't have any credit or money so he's stuck with it. I bet there are corpses under the floor boards as well as other things too boring to mention (but which I'll mention anyway) like rats and cockroaches and dried semen stains.

This is Ray's narration of the place which I read after I wrote the previous paragraph. Was I writing comics and named Christopher Priest in 1994?

The Ray spends all day handing out flyers to Clucky Chicken while standing right outside Clucky Chicken. Is that what flyers are for? To remind people about the thing they can totally see right in front of them? I guess they could be coupons. While he's handing out flyers, his super cool cousin Hank stops by to gaffle some swang all up in through him.

This must be Earth-15 where they say things like "Yo trip dat frum, golderboots!" and "Swank on into my PQs, Flub Daddy!"

The Ray is disappointed that he's a man now because responsibility sucks. Kids can't stand curfews and rules but man is it sweet to be able to come and go as you please (within curfew, of course!) while doing whatever the fuck you want and not worrying about money for food or rent. The Ray can't even fuck his girlfriend because she saw him in the chicken suit and is all, "Oh, um, I just came by to say I can't come by! Bye!" The Ray can travel at the speed of light anywhere he wants while carrying other people. That makes sense because comic books. He takes his cousin Hank Fonzerelli to see a volcano shaped like a hand in Hawaii only to discover that it's another Brimstone. It's activated by a henchman of Darkseid while The Ray and Hank are checking out a surf competition or a luau. It's at this point when The Ray gets back to the beginning of the story where he was failing to stop Brimstone from destroying a city. As he picks the story back up, Superboy arrives to save the day. Not the boring Superboy who used to be Superman and learned a terrible secret about himself on his sixteenth birthday about an extra candle. The new Superboy who arrived on the scene after Superman died. He might also be boring but I wouldn't know having never read any comic books about him. The new Superboy is an arrogant dick and The Ray hates him. That's probably why The Ray winds up killing him. Or he thinks he killed him. Everybody reading the comic book probably thought The Ray killed him too (because we were all dumb-dumbs who actually believed DC Comics had killed Superman off for good. Why wouldn't they?! He was a big boring boy scout whose powers kept fluctuating because editors and writers thought the problem with writing Superman stories was that he was too powerful. But the real problem with writing Superman stories was that those same writers and editors were unimaginative assholes who didn't actually understand Superman. Why else would Superman have died from a fist fight?! Seriously, Dan Jurgens. What were you thinking?! Superman should never have been killed because he encountered something more powerful that could just beat the shit out of him. Superman should have been killed because of a philosophical or ethical dilemma where he realized the only way to save the world was to allow himself to die. He should have been Jesus but instead he was just Apollo Creed. Who I think was a metaphor for John the Baptist? The issue ends with the narrator letting the readers know that Superboy isn't actually dead and why would the idiots think he'd be killed in The Ray when he was currently starring in his own popular monthly comic book? Stupid dumb comic book readers! But the narrator also mentions that The Ray is out of power (I didn't know he had to recharge) and Brimstone is kind of mad. Then he's all, "If we were you," (I don't think a proper editor in 1994 would have allowed a writer to use the plural pronoun "we" as a non-specific gender singular pronoun so now I'm picturing the narrator as a small group of old people), "We'd be back here in 30 days!" And I guess 22 year old me agreed with them because I purchased Issue #2. The Ray #1 Rating: C. C is average, right? I didn't find anything I particularly loved about this issue but I also didn't find anything I absolutely hated. Except for Superboy but I think I was supposed to hate him so that's a positive critique. I probably purchased the next issue because I wanted to find out what happens to Hank Fonzerelli. What a cool dude! The letters pages don't have any letters but it does have a story by Brian Augustyn about how Christopher Priest changed his name from Jim Owsley. It also explains that Priest's idea for The Ray was to have a teenager suddenly have to deal with god-like powers while still being a teenager. I think before this that was called "Spider-man". Except for the god-like powers! Those were more spider-like powers.

#The Ray #Christopher Priest #Howard Porter #Robert Jones #DC Comics #DC

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infinite-inferno · 5 years

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The Promise Ring

Characters: Single Dad!Logan, Virgil, mentions of Roman, Patton and Deceit

Ship(s): Prinxiety, past moceit

This is probably completely out of character, this is 1000% a vent fic

Virgil looked up from their phone, grinning like an idiot at what their boyfriend, Roman, sent them. God he’s such a sap, promise rings? I don’t even wear jewelry all that much, but I would totally wear it if he got it for me. Virgil smiled and sent the text giving their okay on it. ‘Just so you know, my dad doesn’t know about us at all, so I would have to order it, and just pass it off as something I wanted for myself.’ Virgil frowned slightly, remembering that their dad was weary about online friendships, let alone a romantic relationship. They had little intention to tell him, always imagining the worst case scenario (as always) and it always led to him making them break up - something Virgil couldn’t imagine doing.

So, when they got the email that it arrived - a week earlier than it was supposed to, when their dad was going on a business trip - they panicked, knowing he would get the mail before they would get to it. When they got home and saw their dad had the package in his hand, they felt the largest wave of anxiety they’ve had in a while hit them like a truck.

“Virginia,” their dad started, causing Virgil to internally wince - they hadn’t told their dad their new name or pronouns, knowing as well how he feels about nonbinary identities and just really didn’t want to have that conversation - their coming out as pansexual was hard enough. “What is this?”

Not having it in themself to lie, or the capacity to make up one on the spot in this state, they mumbled out “a ring.” Their dad’s face reflected confusion and anger, very different from his usual near emotionless expression, and it made Virgil hunch more than they already had been.

“You don’t usually wear jewelry at all, why all of a sudden did you get a ring? Be honest, is it for your partner?”

“What if it was?”

“Is it?”

“What would you say if it was?”

“Who is it?”

“... he doesn’t go to my school.”

“Ok, where is he from?”

Virgil panicked again, not being able to think of a lie quick enough and before they knew it they said “Spain. But I’ve been talking with him for over two years, he speaks perfect English, and he helps me in my Spanish class too. Please-”

“Virginia, you know how I feel about the online thing. I’m just concerned. What if he isn’t who he says he is? I’ve been accepting of you being pansexual, and you know that. But you already have to put up a facade because we happen to live in a very close minded, conservative town, and having someone who you tell everything to, who ‘understands’ you, that can be really unsafe!”

Virgil felt all their anxiety turn to anger, somehow getting the courage to stand up for themself, yelling “So what do you not trust me?”

“Honey I do trust you. I don’t trust him. How do you know if he is who he says he is! For all you know he could be some 40 year old man! He could just be faking everything, and just telling you what you want to hear!”

“How the hell would you fake a Snapchat? Or a video call? Snapchat LITERALLY SAYS if the picture was just taken or if it had been saved from the internet or whatever!”

“I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s possible! Do you have any plans to go to Spain?”

“No, but-”

“Does he have any plans to come here?”

“Actually he is hoping to do a study abroad in the city, or somewhere relatively close to me. He’s starting college this year but he’s only 17 so it’s not like there’s this huge age gap either-”

“I don’t care if he claims to be 17. How do you know if he is who he tells you he is?”

“Please dad, I’m really happy with him-”

“You’re too young to know what you want out of a relationship. All this is… is puppy love at best! Besides, how are you supposed to say you’re dating someone you’ve never met? Someone you’ve never been on a date with? Dating means going on dates. That’s not what you two have. End of story.”

Virgil fidgeted with the strings on their hoodie, their confidence draining away as the tension in the room rose. “You don’t think that’s what I want? I would love for that to happen, but it hasn’t. I just don’t understand how this is any different from any other long distance relationship that starts in person-”

“That’s just it, they start in person. You know who they are. You started dating before the distance separated. As far as I’m concerned though, you two are just close friends, just someone you communicate with. Nothing more.”

They bit the inside of their cheek, stopping when they tasted the briefest tinge of blood. “So what, that’s it. Are you going to make us break up now? Cut off all communication?”

“No, because you’re too damn stubborn for your own good, and I know this is just going in one ear and out the other. No matter what I say, you’re just going to do what you want, and let me tell you, that pisses me off to no end. But it’s too late to do anything about it.” Logan took a deep breath and put his head in his hands. “I wanted you to be better, but I guess you’re not. So go off, I know you’re gonna go right up to your room and hide away like you always do, and vent to him about how much of a bitch I am. But I’m just worried about you Virginia. Maybe it’d be different if he lived here, if I could meet with him and the family, but we’ll never know won’t we?” He sighed, looking up at Virgil.

“But would it really be different if he lived here? People can still be fake in person, like what happened to Patton when he dated Dorian.” Virgil spoke quietly, still defending themself, but not as violently. “There’s that bit in every relationship - you can never be sure. What was that saying? You have 3 faces, one you show to the world, one you show to family, and one that you never show to anyone.”

“While that is true, it is easier to catch the bullshit in person. When they have to look you in the eyes and talk to you, it’s different. But what do I know?”

Virgil continued to fidget with their hoodie, deciding not to get on their dads’ bad side completely, and even if it was against what they thought, they should at least try to end on a good note. “I… I understand why you’re upset, because that kind of thing isn’t completely uncommon today...” Virgil’s face saddened, as they were about to say something they completely didn’t agree with, but just said to get their dad off their back. “And I guess you’re right, we haven’t been on any dates. He’s just someone I’m talking to.” Virgil internally smirked, knowing that for their generation, “talking to someone” is the precursor to (or sometimes saying that you are) dating. So technically, they weren’t completely outright lying, they just weren’t speaking in words that the older generation would recognize.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” Logan gave Virgil a soft smile, but Virgil couldn’t return it.

They looked at him hesitantly, “are we good then?”

“I don’t know, are we good?”

“I think so,” Virgil shrugged.

“Then I guess we are.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil #logan #roman #deceit #patton #single dad logan #prinxiety #moceit #angst #fic #kaiden writes #the promise ring #vent fic #i wrote this a while ago but i didn't want to post it idk why #online dating #online realtionships #logan's just trying his best

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some-rfa-imagines · 6 years

Text

A Big List Of Prompts

i thought ‘why not?’ and made one of these for myself. I wandered around the internet for a while and shoved together a bunch of prompts I thought were interesting. Pick a character and a number (pls specify) and I’ll write you a thing!

Most of these are not mine!!!

hhhhh lets hope i know what i’m doing

Dialogue:

“I don’t think this is the biggest mistake you’ve made. It’s probably like… third worst.”

“Shouting at each other across the room doesn’t count as having a proper conversation about your feelings you know. Wouldn’t you rather all of this be private, anyway?”

“No pressure, honest. It’s not like the world is depending on you or anything.”

“But if they think we’re a couple, we'll get the couples discount!”

“Are you always this prone to bad luck and violence? If so, that’s kind of sad.”

“Can I just whoop your ass… like… right now?”

“Rules? Nope, not listening. I’m not following them. Never have, never will.”

“Did operation steal the cat and return the nuclear codes get completed yet?"

“I call it 'the plan that will save the world and also remove minions for good'."

“what the hell are you doing with (other character)'s dog locked in your garden?!"

“Yeah!, heh, I just uh remembered that, uhm- I have- uh.. I have a few places to see and uh *ahem*, people to go- I mEAN- uhm, yeah,,, I-I’ll- I’ll be right back— oh! Uh, completely unrelated to that, uh, ngh, wheres the nearest cliff?”

“Shut up [name], just because you have the grace and social skills of a drunken ferret, does not mean I must.”

“You’re so convinced that I’ll hurt them that you haven’t considered it’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”

“What have I told you about listening to your gut more? It’s smart. Do it.”

“Pal, I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m a good person, but if you want to keep it. Leave now.”

“I can be sweet. Sometimes. To certain people. It happens!”

“Stop laughing!”

“Call me [blank] - not that that's my name.”

“So I suppose you want to ask me how I pulled it off.”

“Didn’t you know darling? The key to getting away with a crime is making people think you are peaceful.”

"I hope that what I've said hasn't hurt you too much."

"Move away from the door and let me at him."

"You embarrassed me this evening."

"I want to turn back the clock to before..."

"Try focusing more on your life and less on mine!"

"There's something I need to get off my chest."

"I did a pregnancy test."

"If you get me his phone, I might reconsider."

"I knew you wouldn't be able to see it through."

"You were meant to be watching him!"

"How dare you look down your nose at me like that."

“It’s not my fault you’re short.”

“Tell me right now or I swear on my life you’ll regret everything.”

“You’re back!”

“I missed you.”

“I did my best, okay?!”

“Kiss me right this second.”

“Just do it!”

“I believe you’ll come back to us. I just know it.”

“You’re not a bad person… You… You wouldn’t…”

“I can’t trust you… Not anymore.”

“Don’t leave me!”

“You promised we were in this together…”

“Wait a minute, are you flirting with me?”

“You’re even more stunning.”

“As many as the stars in the sky.”

“CAN YOU EVEN READ?!”

“You’re actually the most insufferable person I’ve ever had the pleasure meeting.”

“I risked everything for you.”

“I… I love you, okay?”

“Who the hell are you and why is my favourite book in a puddle of orange juice.”

“This is a lot harder than it looks and I don’t think you realise that.”

“That’s the lamest pickup line I’ve ever heard of.” “Damn. Well, it was just plan A.” “And what’s plan B…?” “To take you hostage.”

“What the fuck did they do to you in that lab?”

“Ehhh, needles, comas, that deep freeze thing in the first room, shoving these onto my back. Oh also they forced me to eat soggy bread.”

“Love, you underestimate how much food I can shove in my mouth before I need to be stopped.”

“Okay so why did you have to smash that vase again” “I DIDN’T MEAN TO, IT GOT IN THE WAY”

“Welcome to my treasure trove.” “There’s a sword.” “Yeah.” “wHY DO YOU HAVE A SWORD.” “...” “caaaaaan i touch it?”

“Love, I’ve done this before. Every hundred years. For seventeen millenniums.”

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO (NAME)?!”

“Are… Who are these people? They- They look like me…”

“So, what do you want for dinner?” “I’m thinking Italian. Like, Italian.” “BABE.”

“Oooh, look at the detail on that mirror.”

“Okay now you’re just messing with me and you need to stop.”

“Okay, I know I’m idiotic to get lost in a corn maze but who the fuck are you and why are you apparently as idiotic as I am.”

“I was on my way to buy that soul for Satan, who do you think you are. You can’t do that.”

“I’m sure you know who I am.”

“Huh…? Oh, fuck.”

“I swear to god, my little sister will kill me when I get home.”

“Bit rude to swear to God right now, don’t you think?”

“Fuck. I’m going to die. Damn.”

“YOU DEFINITELY WILL IF YOU DRINK THAT.”

“You know you can’t bring (them), Your Highness, (they’ll) be used against you.”

“Don’t hold me responsible, I wasn’t even there.” “Yeah, but you gave me the idea.”

“You know what, fuck you.”

“The fuck did you say they put on my gravestone?!”

“Honey, I don’t care if you’re the fucking queen or an uncooperative cat, get off your ass and live your life you trash bag.”

“Hey, calm down, please, oh god okay, calm aura, calm aura, please stop freaking out, calm down, it’s okay, you can do this.”

“So that’s it? We’re done?”

“Please, just… hold me. Just for a moment.”

“I think I’m just gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die.”

“So… what are we?”

“Don’t you dare take another step out that door!”

“This better be good.”

“That… was the worst excuse I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“I’m saying you don’t have a rulebook.”

“These kinds of things don’t just come with an instruction manual, [name]!”

“Why, that’s absurd!”

“I would never.”

“It makes me so uncomfortable when people ask me, ‘Where do you see yourself in 'x’ years?’ Like… I see myself cold in the ground, my guy, but that’s not the answer you want to hear so this is an awkward predicament we’re in, huh.”

“Listen up fucker.”

“Let me tell you all the reasons why I won’t do that.”

“HAVE YOU HEARD OF A TURN SIGNAL EVER IN YOUR LIFE”

“I am already the family disappointment, what more do you want from me”

“Do you?”

“Get. Out.”

“If people are watching, we might as well make this entertaining!”

“I’ve absolutely never seen you in my entire life so if you’ll just excuse me now, have a good day!”

“Okay, stop going to sleep at 4am, it makes you philosophical and sentimental and that’s weird.”

“Make me.”

Setting:

The night sky lit up for a second and what followed sounded a lot like the end of the world.

It's not always the case of 'these guys are foolish to only send one guy' sometimes it's 'we should be terrified they only sent one guy.’

Dear reader, I wish I could tell you that you're going to like this story.

Without meaning to, they’d arranged two dates for the same evening.

Everything about [name] was a lie.

They'd only been apart for a week and already he had a new lover hanging off his arm.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

You guys were taking forever and I was hungry so I baked cookies who wants some?

First Lines:

[Character] had enjoyed ten years of being totally irresponsible.

The pencil had NOT been worth stealing.

[Character] wasn't happy about it, but [pronoun]’d been recalled to life for one reason or another.

If [Character] could change one thing, it would be carrying that gun.

It was enchanting. Either that or [name] was incredibly wasted.

AUs: (many from this blog! Complete credit to them)

Masquerade Ball AU: Person A and Person B can’t recognise each other

Frustrated Customer and Tired Employee AU

Hitman AU: Person A and Person B are hired to take each other out

Assassin AU: After watching B for so long, A has begun to fall for them

Pirate/Mermaid AU

Coffee Shop AU: Why’d you have to smile at me like that, I couldn’t even concentrate on your order oh god I’m blushing why am I so fLUSTERED

Overthrown Royalty AU: Okay so I love you and all, but why the fuck did you have to start a war they’re going to kill you - you’re a dead (queen/king) walking and I hope you know that.

Blood dripped down B’s chin. A knew B was a vampire. A knew they needed blood. But it was a little offensive when B drank from others!Vampire AU

my little sister really looks up to you because she’s going through that phase so she’ll probably kill me again when i get home!Idol AU

Fantasy AU: A is suspicious of the legends. You know, those legends. Everyone knew about them. The ones about the dragons in the hills.

Spy AU: “Fuck, why did you have to be the one to join me on this mission you do realise that it’s dangerous and they don’t care whether we die or not.”

I know my cupcakes are better than your blueberry muffins and that’s what matters and wait holy shit these are actually pretty good!Baking AU

Medieval AU

(Alt) Modern AU

We were both stood up by our dates at this fancy restaurant and they have an ‘at least two to a table’ policy so you need to have dinner with me AU

I know shit all about music theory but I’ve already written and composed hit songs while you’ve been taking lessons for years and struggle with melody please don’t kill me!Musician AU

I answered your weirdly specific craigslist roommate ad as a joke and now we’re living together!Roommates AU

You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something!coffee shop AU

reincarnation AU: person A meets their favourite band/singer and realises they were friends in a past life

Hello I’m your boss and you’re the new employee who just saw me shove an entire cupcake into my mouth!Office AU

We’re neighbours and you work at a flower shop and your place is always filled with flowers. I’m too self-conscious to say anything, but I’m allergic af and I look like I’ve been crying every time we meet. Now you probably think I’m in an abusive relationship or something omg

I don’t really know you but we’ve shared a bus stop for years and I just got my first car and I hope this isn’t weird but what I’m trying to say is do you want to carpool with me from now on? Like, to save the environment, I mean.

I can’t give you what you want, why didn’t I leave before we go too emotionally involved AU

I came up to the roof of our apartment building at 2 AM to see this asteroid go by and just as I stepped out you came running at me screaming so naturally I froze and you’re screaming at me so loud I can’t understand what you’re - oh the door locks behind you. Well now we’re both locked out here gdi

someone in the dorms makes amazing cookies and you’re trying to figure it out and walk in on me baking at four in the morning!College AU

I found you duct-taped to a telephone pole thirty feet off the ground

Just to be polite, I held the door open for you but now we’re both insisting that the other go first and we’re seriously about to get into an argument about it and cAN YOU JUST WALK THROUGH THE DOOR P L E A S E

I’m in this museum for a school project, but you are apparently here for fun and good lord you are good looking, so I’m totally going to pretend I know anything at all about the life and works of this random artist…Rembrandt, you say?

IKEA AU: I’m a cashier and when you looked for your wallet about a hundred of our pencils dropped out of your pocket, that’s actually pretty impressive where did you even hide them?

I was rehearsing lines for the romantic lead and I didn’t see you through that window, I had no idea that YOU were playing my romantic interest and now I can’t remember a single line

I tried my hand at this thing called cooking but I ended up making enough to feed a small army. You’re my next door neighbour, so like, are you hungry? You can bring the beer

Soulmates:

Looking around, A tried to spot their best friend when they saw it. Their own handwriting, on someone else’s arm.

A sees B in their mirror every night. They’ve never met in real life.

You can see colours but realise that recently, with each passing day, your world of colours is becoming a little duller and you’re panicking because you don’t know what’s going on, or what it means, or if your soulmate is okay.

We’re having our first argument as a married couple: do we explore this island, or do we stay in bed all day

I can’t give you what you want, why didn’t I leave before we go too emotionally involved AU

You’re not sure if the other half of your tattoo should end with this person’s words, or that one’s—wait, I think it might end with the phrase of that other person too. It’s just a very open-ended sentence…

You’re an Angel and I’m a Demon and we met while hiding in human form and I love you

Author:

Write an apology letter to the character you hurt the most.

Complete the sentence for [character]: “I think the most important thing in the world is…”

You see someone being hit in the street. What superpower would you like to have in this situation?

Write a scenario where you meet your characters.

Would your characters like you? As a person or as an author?

Have a philosophical conversation with your characters.

I would love if you added your own prompts to this! I’ll probably go back and add more later. in the meantime, i’ll go hunt down all the necessary credits! byee~

#hhhhhhhhhh this took foreeveverrrrrr #bUT IM DONE #i will go back and try and find all of the necessary credits #im v v v sorry if i miss some though #damn i didn't write them all down #that was a dumb mistake #anyway #go nuts pls #and feel free to reblog #<3 #puffle talks #not writing #writing prompts #prompts #au

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therpmemes · 6 years

Text

santana lopez quotes (2/2) → sentence starters

part 1 (season one-three) // part 2 (season four-six)

slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!

❝ I counted the number of times you’d smile at me, and I’d die on days that you didn’t. ❞

❝ I need to tell you something that I don’t know how to say. ❞

❝ I can’t pretend that things are the way they were because they aren’t. ❞

❝ I don’t wanna be like all of those other long distance relationships that hang in there for a few months and then break-up when someone eventually cheats or things get weird. ❞

❝ I would never cheat on you but if we’re being completely honest I had.... I guess the best way to describe it would be ‘an energy exchange’? ❞

❝ She smiled at me a little too long which means she was either crazy or a lesbian. ❞

❝ Let’s just do the mature thing. ❞

❝ This is not an official break-up. ❞

❝ You know I will always love you the most. ❞

❝ That bitch is pure evil. ❞

❝ Wow. Twitter update! _____is all excited about another guy defining her life. ❞

❝ _____ always was a genius slapper. ❞

❝ Topless is as nude as anyone is ever gonna want to see you. ❞

❝ Think I could get used to here in New York. It's more of my speed. ❞

❝ Yes, I did a sex-tape that follows me around to this very day. Look me up on the internet right now. ❞

❝ You have no idea what it's like out there in the real world. No one gives a damn about you. ❞

❝ I'm clearly the hottest bitch in this lousy joint. But I'm all alone, stuck here with you. ❞

❝ I hate weddings and I Valentine's Day. It was invented by breeders to sell cheap chocolate and false hope. ❞

❝ I have been chosen, probably because I'm numb to other people's feelings, to come here and ask what you would like to do. ❞

❝ You know, we always were two ends of the same bitch-goddess spectrum. ❞

❝ Those romantic saps. They may have love, but you know what we are that they are not? ❞

❝ Look, you don’t have to worry. I’m not gonna show up at your house with a U-Haul. ❞

❝ Well, you could walk out first... or we could make it a two-time-thing. ❞

❝ I like how you guys pretend to be all accepting about everything but when your friend suddenly shows up in your home, moves in and goes through all your stuff... you're offended. ❞

❝ Okay, New York may be disgusting, especially when it's covered in gray, nasty snow, and the people may be horrible and rude, and some smelly homeless man in pee stained tighty whities might have groped me on the subway and then asked me for a dollar. But I got to say I finally feel like I have found my people. ❞

❝ You're really not gonna tell me about the stick? ❞

❝ I'm your friend. You can trust me, just tell me what's going on. ❞

❝ Oh God. You're gonna be okay. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. ❞

❝ Don't apply logic to me. ❞

❝ I have known you for years and I don't like you 90% of the time. ❞

❝ You know what? I have love for you. ❞

❝ You're my family and I haven't lied to you in months. ❞

❝ I'm smarter about other people than you, you have to trust me. ❞

❝ I don't even think you need all these beauty products, cause they're not really having the desired effect. ❞

❝ And just when you thought it couldn't get any gayer...it does. ❞

❝ You're acting like a completely different person and it's making me sad. ❞

❝ Look, please don't tell my mom. ❞

❝ I have something to say and I have tried to keep it to myself but I will be silent no longer. ❞

❝ You can't just blow past this like nothing ever happened. This is a wake-up call. This is an opportunity for you to take a hard look at the choices that you're making, where your life is heading. ❞

❝ The last thing I want to do is pay 30 grand a year to get a degree for doing something that I'm already freaking Wonder Woman at. ❞

❝ I like yeast in my bagel but not in my muffin. ❞

❝ Oh, come on. You are not playing Yente the lesbian match maker. ❞

❝ I'm getting that stinky panic sweat under my boobs. ❞

❝ Well I don’t give a hot wet monkey’s ass what you care for. ❞

❝ I have hated you ever since the day I met you. You are a horrible person. ❞

❝ He was a much better person than I am. ❞

❝ When we had sex, _____ never stopped asking me if I was okay the whole time. ❞

❝ I'm sorry, would you mind just stepping outside for a moment while I bitch-slap some sense into my friend? ❞

❝ I am loving this look on me. Lord of the bling. ❞

❝ How about we just get you an IPad.. you can't even get porn on whatever you just asked for. ❞

❝ _____ is my ex girlfriend and she just dumped me, which is why I’m even here and why I have this job. And we’re lesbians. And you know, I’ve never been with anybody like that before. ❞

❝ I’m saving up to buy a noose to hang myself. ❞

❝ You are short, you are awful, and that is never going to change. ❞

❝ I would love for things to get physical. I will hit you so hard that you won't be able to wake up until you're old enough to be Funny Lady. ❞

❝ God as my witness, I will break her down. ❞

❝ Life is very high school. Just with bigger stakes. ❞

❝ A star is a star, it doesn’t matter where in the sky I shine. ❞

❝ You suck at so many things. But not this. ❞

❝ Who gives a crap what all the other peasants think? ❞

❝ I’m just not worth it. ❞

❝ I realized the world is even colder than I am. And the only thing that can keep you from freezing to death is to have good friends around you to keep you warm. ❞

❝ I guess that means I care about you. Don’t tell anyone. ❞

❝ At least you were wearing underwear. ❞

❝ Don’t listen to her! Look at her shoes! ❞

❝ Some people love someone because they make them a better person and that's not why I love you because you've always just wanted me to be myself. ❞

❝ No matter how many times we've tried to put our thing down and walk away from it we can't because I don't want to live my life without my one true love. ❞

❝ I normally I use a lot of words when I'm saying something negative so since this is the most positive thing I'm ever going to do, I'm gonna keep it simple. Will you marry me? ❞

❝ Believe me if I could get in her head and bring her into this century, I would, and I would forgive her and have her here. She's my abuela, you know? She's, like, the lady with the big plates of rice and beans. ❞

❝ Last I heard she was on Facebook posting about her diverticulitis trolling for sympathy. ❞

❝ You taught me to be a strong Latina woman. To be bigger than the world was every going to give me permission to be. ❞

❝ You taught me not just to exist because I'm worth so much more than that. ❞

❝ She's the love of my life and I'm going to marry her and I want to share that with you because without your love, I...I think I just exist too. ❞

❝ Do you even know why a groom couldn't see the bride before the wedding? ❞

❝ I took what you said to heart, and I thought long and hard about it, and it occurred to me that you may have a point. ❞

❝ Maybe _____ and I are too young to get married. ❞

❝ Maybe that's why it didn't work out. Maybe it has nothing to do with me. Maybe it's just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable. Maybe that has something to do with it. ❞

❝ I've been bullied, outed, and misunderstood. ❞

❝ I am a work in progress. ❞

❝ I do. ❞

#rp starters #rp meme #ask meme #roleplay starters #glee starters #source: tv

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dekuinthelake · 6 years

Text

Are you a Boy or a Girl?

I’ve been getting this question a lot since I changed my header to include gender, where as it didn’t before. This is hardly the first time the question of sex has be posed at me. People have been asking me this since I was six years old.

And the answer? Well, it’s a little complicated...

From a very young age I was classified as a “tomboy” by my immediate family. One of the few positive things I can say about my mother is that she tried to raise my sister and I rather gender neutral considering she’s a Mormon. My interests were (for the most part) aloud to be explored and what I ended up liking were animals, swords and video games; Any and all “boy stuff”. No one was particularly surprised or unsupportive, as many of my friends were boys. My Grandfather even called me Mikey, the male version of my name, and still does to this day oddly enough.

Before I went to grade school my preferences weren’t challenged by anyone. Except my actual male friends. Kids under the age of 4 tend to just take their clothes off, and so I got my first lesson of biological differences when my childhood friend and I decided to strip naked and run around the yard, as kids to.

It was incredibly confusing, and I hadn’t learned the term Tomboy wasn’t literal. So for a long time in my youth, I just thought I was a different type of boy.

When I went to school at 6 years old, people would question why I was wearing boy stuff, or why I had my hair cut short once I spoke and they realized that I was actually a girl. Most of the time, people just shrugged it off, especially adults. But kids were absolutely volatile about -any- aberrant behavior for a “girl”.

I got made fun of, a lot. He-she was the most common thing in elementary, but as I grew older, naturally the insults and bullying got much, much worse.

It was particularly bad in church. Women are not treated like equal citizens in general by young boys, and putting a superiority complex on top of that which is enforced by Mormon ethics was miserable. Girls -had- to wear dresses and act meek or wise. Up until this point, I’d been doing the opposite of what I was expected to do because for all intensive purposes, I’d been treated and raised like a guy. Suddenly my mother had these weird feminine expectations for me that coincided with Mormonism.

And that just wasn’t me.

I wasn’t raised on dresses and dolls. I was allowed to play with dinosaurs and go digging in the mud. All of my friends were boys and they treated me the same as the other guys.

Puberty changed that entirely in most situations. Sure, I still had a lot of dude friends who I was just one of, but increasingly I felt displaced because the comfort zone I was aloud to grow up in was drastically changing.

Highschool was absolutely the worst for this. I was desperately trying to fit in to the mold that was set out for me. Being a woman is important, and it alienated me from both men and women because I’ve never felt like a girl, but I’m not biologically male and it’s instantly recognizable from my features and voice.

There were days I’d skip home to just lay in my bed and cry about it. I wanted to rip off my own damn skin because I felt so -wrong-. I turn, I lashed out at a lot of people trying to figure out who I should be, or who my mother wanted me to be, or even the church I’d been forced to follow for most of my young life.

It’s scary now looking back, and even more frightening looking forward. I know now that I’ve never wanted to be the sex I was born as— ever. Over time this feeling as just kept getting stronger and stronger.

But what can I do about that? There are a lot of complications being transgender. I worry that many of my friends will find it awkward and stop talking to me, or that my father will be weird about it being the cis male republican he is. Dating would be a thousand times more complicated because fairly, a lot of gay men (men are my preference) won’t date people who aren’t naturally born men. How would you even bring it up in conversation? It’s reasonable to predict a lot of people would be incredibly rude, and to be honest when you take shit for just being you all of your life it gets harder and harder to even want to try socializing.

But by far, the most difficult part about all of this is the reality of it. There is nothing I can do to have what I’d like in this situation. No matter what, I’ll always be stuck with what I was born with, and people will find that repulsive. In fact, no matter if I had the inconceivable amounts of money and time to transition, people would still be upset. No matter what I do, it’s impossible to get comfortable in my own skin around people because I’m taking shit from all sides.

And that’s why I like the internet. Everyone starts out neutral when you can’t see a face or hear a voice. For the most part, people will judge you based on your actions and what you say... that’s ultimately what I want. When it comes to friendships or social interaction, I want people to come out of it liking, or disliking me for who I am as a person, not what genitals I have.

Online games in particular point out just how grossly people equate gender to skill. No one ever is nasty to me until I speak up in a voice chat and reveal I was an ABERRANT WOMAN the entire time. I always feel betrayed, especially because I feel like they constantly misgender me. I did some competitive WoW PvP earlier this week and I haven’t felt this isolated, this disgusting about my body in a long time.

Seriously, if you are a dude who plays games, please never immediately point out a female voice and make it a joke. It really fucking hurts to be singled out all the time, even as an adult.

Especially if you are trans and afraid to ask them to call you male pronouns because of how homophobic, racist and sexist the randoms you are grouped with can be... I mean, I can never be happy with my body and having men constantly point out how much worse women are is equivalent to skinning a person alive and rolling them in salt for an hour....

So, the short answer? The gender I identify with is male. Please call me male pronouns.

I don’t want any more special consideration than that. I don’t expect people to bend over backwards for me... but it would be nice to at least be comfortable for once in my god damn life.

#personal #gender

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