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webberbaby · 3 months

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His little Stripper <3

pairing- Colby Brock x fem!reader

summary- a stripper catches the eyes of a handsome man, has a lotta fun

warnings- a lil angsty, some hardcore smut lol, cute lil ending

word count- 3k or sum? maybe 4k, LMAO

a/n- been a long time since I’ve written, enjoy

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The whole studio was bouncing, the bass rhythmically played throughout the club. Swimming inside the walls, almost enticing you in. The night was young and had only just begun, it was a start to a long night. Here, I was treated almost like royalty, all the other dancers liked to roll their eyes or make snarky comments because they didn’t like the way I hogged all the attention, I was young and that’s nothing I could help.

You could say I was a good dancer. One of the best.

Brittney. I only had one friend in this place, the rest would only batter their eyelashes to get a hand on your earnings. Not Brittney though. She was a sweet, honest girl that just needed the extra cash and in complete fairness, that’s what we were both here for. We were both the youngest in this place. University costs an arm and a leg, there’s no lie in that. It was a hated industry, but the world is a tough place to make a living.

“Girl! You gotta get out there! it’s thriving with old dudes that have a TON of money!!” She heaved, slumping on a swivel chair next to mine, with a wide-eyed expression painted across her makeup clad features. I glanced at her through the huge mirrors stuck to the smoke stained walls, with a slight smirk finishing up on my cherry red lipgloss, “Oh yeah? Sounds just like every other night.”

“Well, I did see these couple guys around our age, maybe older, they were sooo hot.” Brittney explained, emphasising their good looks, applying makeup to her smudged areas. She seemed skittish, almost like she was eager to get back out there. This time I’d turned to face her, making my blonde hair a bouncy, wavey look. Being expressive with her hands, matter of factly she had said, “I sooo wished they’d came over to me, that brunette guy was soo handsome, so mysterious too. I’ll have to show you when you get your ass out there! I’d give that man a dance for free any day.”

I giggled, never hearing her talk like this made me believe these men were as handsome as she said they were. Maybe I’ll have to see for myself. I began to slip my cherry red heels on, glancing in the mirror, puffing my hair out. I had styled it in to an 80’s blowout type look, just more modernised. “I believe you girl, it’s been a while since we’ve had a looker come here.”

“Man, you look like a whole full course meal looking like that, Y/N. You have more of a chance than me at getting that handsome devil in a booth. Gosh, you’re so sexy!” Brittney huffed, looking at me with a sad but hopeful expression.

I grabbed her hand, pulling her out of her chair. Cupping her face with my hands, I said with confidence, “God is a woman, and you my friend are a fucking goddess! Now let’s get out there and make some fucking money!” She smiled into my hands as I then spun her around, seeing the sparkles on her little outfit shine.

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I stood behind Brittney as she peeped from behind the big, draping, scarlet red curtain that lead out to the runway. A shiny pole awaiting us. Britt had kept an eye on the stage as I was trying to skim the crowd for the one who looks like they had the most cash with them. “Oh! Gabriella’s almost finished her dance, god blue is NOT her colour!”

“Brittney! You have to watch your mouth sometimes, you’ll get in trouble if someone hears you!” I wispered harshly, playfully jabbing her arm. She moved over a little so I could get a better look of the crowd. Taking me by surprise, a pair of striking blue eyes caught my own as I swiftly shut the curtain, almost knocking Britt over, “Holy shit.”

“What? What!” The brunette nudged me out the way as I took a step back, body running cold. I heard her muttering as she closed the curtain as quick as she re-opened it, turning to me. “Oh my God, that’s him!”

“Shut up! I’ve never seen him before, I can’t dance infront of him, he’s too pretty to be here! What’s a guy like him doing here?! God!” I gulped, walking back and forth on myself, finding my nerves getting the better of me of me. God, his dark brown hair and that shiny earring glistening in his ear, the black button up, the shine on his rings and tattooed arms, man. I’m used to dancing for 40+ year old guys, not actual good looking guys my age!

“Are you being serious right now, Y/N? You’re the hottest one here, if Gab’s can flaunt it then you definitely can too!” She exclaimed assertively, stopping me in my tracks, hands on either side of my arms. Pointing her finger in my face.

“Hey sluts, they’re waiting.” A scratchy, unbothered voice had sounded as the clacking of heels sounded down the set of stairs held by the stage. We both rolled our eyes as she swang her hips side to side, sauntering away from us.

“Ugh, whatta bitch.” We muttered in unison, breathing out a laugh. Britt gave me a subtle peck on the cheek, something she always did to calm my nerves before my journey to the pole, ��Knock ‘em dead, Y/N”

As she turned my track on, I took a deep breath, pushing my boobs up a little, feeling the deep red lace against my body. Promiscuous sounded, by Nelly & Timbaland. As much as it is a corny song, the boys loved it.

Whipping my hair over my shoulder, I winked at my bestie, and started my walk. The giant curtains opened as I started to strut. The dim lights only lighting up solely on the pole. My confidence returning as my hips swirled to the beat, winking at thirsty men in the crowd. I raised my arms leaning my head back touching my chest.

I made my way over to the center, strutting around the shiny metal pole, caressing it gently. Placing my heels accordingly on the polished platform, stepping on dollar bills everywhere I walked. “Promiscuous girl, you’re teasin’ me. You know what I want and I got what you need.”

I raised my leg on the pole letting my body drape around as my arm held my balance along the pole. As I smoothly came to the bottom of the glistening metal, I spread my legs one infront and one behind, bouncing slightly. Rolling onto my next move, the same pair of blue eyes caught my attention, I couldn’t help but stare for a second, which felt like minutes, as I got behind the pole, he winked at me.

Which took me by surprise as I blushed. I gulped and returned the wink. I blew a kiss at this man, as I slut dropped down the metal shaft, licking up it. Keeping eye contact, his mouth agape. When I grew confidence, I also grew dirty. Giving what these men came to see. “Have all my money!”

One man shouted, another had exclaimed, “I want you to ride my face, please! Be my dirty little girl!” I smiled politely at these men, knowing full well they probably have wives at home, most of them having a ring on their marriage finger. Bastards.

As I danced around the pole, I let my hips do the work, shaking them around in a sexy way. Left to right, innocently dancing. Mouthing the lyrics, shutting my eyes ever so slightly. With my back to the pole now, I had slid down it, mouthing the lyrics, “I’m all alone and it’s you that I want!”

Motioning this handsome blue eyed boy to me with my fingers, in a ‘come here’ type of way. Hoping to entice him, or just playfully tease him. He was leaning against the bar, eyes glued to me. I’ve felt his eyes on me the whole dance. He had this dark smirk on him, looking me up and down with these hungry eyes. Turning his full body towards me now. He mouthed, “Oh yeah?”

In return, I sent an innocent wink his way, with a smile this time. Getting on my feet and swinging around the pole one last time before subtly dropping down, against the cold metal, arching my back as I pushed my hips towards the pole, not letting go. The lights going dark once again as my time came to an end.

I blew the crowd a kiss as I took one last glance toward the bar, the man that had captivated my full attention could not be seen. My heart sank a little as I turned on my heel, forming a strut down the walk as the curtains closed behind me, the money being collected as I had left the stage that I had now earned.

“Eeek! Y/N! You did so good! How am I supposed to follow that performance up?!” Brittney squealed, high fiving me.

“You’ll do even better than me, I’m sure of it!” Giving her praise, she was the one thing that got me through this place, she deserved more confidence. “ I’m gonna take a walk on the floor, gonna get a drink! Go get ‘em tiger!”

As much as I was there for my girl, I desperately wanted to see if this man had stuck around.

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Venturing onto the men-riddled floor, I tried to keep my composure. This was when my nerves got the better of me, you’re looked at as a piece of meat when you’re of the floor. Up on the stage, you feel as though everyone’s below you, literally. You’re on top, nobody can touch you up there.

I found myself at the bar, just asking for a lemonade to pass the time, a kind, older woman had served me. She was one of the nicer workers that resided here, “Would you like a cherry in there too, Y/N?”

“You know me.” I softly said, giving her a thankful smile. Some saw me as the baby here and some saw me as the queen. It was a weird place to be, I just appreciated the kind ones. She gave me a wink and went on her way to make me a the simple concoction.

“Y/N. What a name. Pretty, too.” A deep, husky voice sounded from next to me, as I felt his eyes burn into the side of my head. I turned, slowly looking up at him, his tall, dark frame leaning down on me. I gulped. Those familiar blue eyes keeping ahold of my attention, his warm smile sounding, “Hey, I’m Colby.” He took my hand and kissed it gently.

“Y/N. Hey.” I shyly ushered out in one whole breathe, as I glanced down, my hair falling infront of my face. He was gorgeous, a true beauty. I must be lucky for someone like him to be able to approach me.

“Yeah, I know” He chuckled. I blushed as he heard the lady behind the bar already address that. Don’t screw up now girl! “Is that your real name? I know ladies like to have a disguise around here.”

He observantly mentioned, smirking too. I was at a loss for words, Colby was so captivating, I was lost in his celestial, lapis eyes. His chestnut hair cascading infront of his eyes ever so slightly. “It is, does that disappoint you?”

I decided to be honest, maybe he’d find that attractive in its self. After all, he was honest with me. “What? God no, I think you’re stunning, and your names just the cherry on top!”

Colby ironically exclaimed, as my drink was placed infront of me. The lady looked at both me and him and smiled, raising her eyebrows at me. He glanced at my drink, taking the cherry. Swivelling it in his grip, he glanced at me. I looked up at him with my doe eyes, as he popped it in my mouth, plucking the stem from the cherry itself. “Good girl.”

My heart started to race as he reached his hand out, ushering me closer. As I went to take his hand, a loud roguish man approached me, grabbing me by waist, immediately yelling in my face, “Are you gonna dance for me or what? Huh?”

The alcohol definitely playing its part, I glanced to security, they hadn’t seen the commotion yet and my heart was jumping out of its chest. He towered over me demanding, impatiently waiting for an answer. “Sir, please don’t speak to me like tha-“

“I can speak to you how the FUCK I want, don’t you dare think for a second that your better than me or anyone’s gonna save your pretty little ass, you do what I tell you-“ a huge thud landed as I was swiftly pushed back, the man in front of me collapsing to the ground. Colby had lunged at the drunken man. Angered, he had hit him square in the jaw, a tooth rolling around on the floor. A splash of blood on already red heel.

My breath hitched in my throat, still no security in sight, the music too loud for anyone to really give a shit. Colby had picked this man up by his shift, as though he weighed of nothing, he hissed in his face, “Beat it.”

The man was dropped to his feet and quickly scurried away, as if he saw death itself. I watched as he was out of site, a warm touch against my chin snapped me out of the trance I was in. Startled. “Are you okay, beautiful?”

Gazing into his eyes, hard to look away, I stuttered out, “I-uh, yeah. Thank you.” I placed my hand on his chest trying to gain my breath back, it all happened so fast, a boldness took over me, the sheer sign of strength made so effortlessly was almost overwhelming, “Wanna get out of here?”

I felt his heartbeat pick up every so slightly as he huskily said, “Lead the way, Y/N.”

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Of all places, I lead him to one of the private booths, the expensive, champagne riddled rooms. I shut the curtains to the room, letting staff know that it was occupied. The curved couch was a sparkly red, that had a pole in the middle as well as a love seat. The circular table had three bottles of champagne in a bucket of ice, recently been placed there. Lights had become dim since I’d closed the curtains and there were little sources of light emerging from under both seats. Colby had poured a drink for me and himself, keeping them set down on the table, he approached me with a smirk on his face, “What brings us here then beautiful?”

“I wanted to thank you back there, you were so brave.” Placing my hand on his chest once again, ever so slightly pushing him backwards, towards the curved seat, trailing my hand downwards. Batting my eyelashes at him with my big doe like eyes, I pouted, “So strong.”

His legs hit the textured couch, falling back on, eyes never straying from mine once. I began to crawl on top of him, in a straddle position, feeling himself twitch underneath me, “I-That was nothing back there, a beautiful girl like you shouldn’t have to take that shit.”

He insisted while taking in my body, my looks. Colbys hands began to travel up and down my lacy, deep red piece, taking it all in, breathing a little heavier than before. Muttering, he shifted a little from under me, looking back up at my eyes, “Fuck.”

Smirking slightly, I leant forward, giving him an eyeful of my cleavage, whispering, “I’ll make you feel good, Colby.” His breath began to hitch as I began to kiss up his jaw, his eyes darkened as he lifted my face, gazing into my eyes. His plump lips were begging to meet mine, he took a quick glance at my lips and mumbled hastily, “You’re making me crazy, beautiful.”

And with that he crashed his whiskey stained lips into my cherry tasted ones. Hunger was taking over and I grew to want him so badly. His great hands found their way to my back, travelling down and cupping me, grabbing me ever so slightly but enough for me to moan into his mouth. He seemed to like that. Swiftly, he took my laced bra off with one quick motion, making me gasp.

My hands got the better of me and I started unbuttoning his shirt, almost frustrated that it wasn’t coming undone quick enough. He pulled away, picking me up, his hands under me, straddling his waist now, “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

The blue eyed boy had laid us down, I was now laying on the love seat, he towered over me, looking me up and down, ready to feast. Colby stood there, with his shirt unbuttoned, his abs glistening from the sweat we had just created. He looked godly in this moment. He quickly took off his jeans, his member almost throbbing to be let out. I gulped as he looked bigger than anything I’d ever seen.

He lowered himself down, and kissed me passionately, still hungry for more. My hands roamed freely, helping him take off his shirt completely. With this motion I quickly flipped us, wanting to be on top of him. I begged, “Let me please you, Colby.”

Impressed at my strength, Colby had stifled a moan as I started to leave hungry kisses down his chest, until I got to his boxer line. I looked up at him through my lashes, as he nodded with approval, removing the clothing. His thick member throbbing. I gulped, taking in his size, he was fucking huge.

“Fuck.” I muttered as I teased him, licking up his shaft, keeping eye contact with him as he propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look. I wrapped my hand around his member, kissing the tip.

I began to take him in my mouth, bobbing my head up and down and sucking slightly, wanting him to feel euphoric. His sweet moans filled my ears, making me work harder for him. Wanting to make him feel better than ever. “You’re such a good girl, Y/N.”

Seeing his eyes roll back as his shaft touched the back of my throat was enough to make me moan, knowing I was doing a good job. I was a good girl. His good girl. Colby’s hand traveled to the back of my head, grabbing my hair slightly bobbing my head. It felt so good. “You like that baby girl?”

I nodded quickly, not wanting to disappoint, all of a sudden feeling really submissive. As I carried on sucking it for a little longer, Colby pulled my hair back and away from him gently making me look up at him, he muttered, “C’mere baby.”

I did as he asked, waiting for what was to come. Colby got on top of me, his chain dangling infront of my face, his arms looking as muscular as ever as he towered over me, I felt completely under his spell and I was more than ready for what he was about to do to me.

He caressed my breasts, with both hands as I started to breath heavier, trying to keep it together. His eyes flickering towards mine and my bare chest, he muttered sweet nothings as he latched onto them, kissing them. Sucking them. I couldn’t help but moan at the way his tongue moved against my body, “Colby!”

“Shh, baby. You sound so fucking good, but we can’t get in trouble now, can we?” He muttered against my breasts, knowing full well we’d get in big trouble as clients weren’t supposed to be touchy let alone all over each other. He was far from being a client, but I would definitely get kicked out immediately for this behaviour. I groaned out of annoyance, frustrated with pleasure. He began to bite them ever so gently, putting my hand over my mouth to shuffle my moans. Colby had made him way down to my panties, asking for approval, granting him access. He swiftly took them off with ease, “Fuck you’re so perfect.”

“Are you ready baby?” He huskily marvelled, admiring the mess he had made me into, touching himself. His hair stuck to his forehead a little, his muscles glistening all over, his tattoos made his aura dark and mysterious but he seemed like a complete utter dream. In response, all I could manage was a swift nod, with impatient, hungry eyes.

He lined his huge member up with my already wet folds, awaiting the small pain that came with it. He came down closer to me, kissing me roughly and pushing himself into me at the same time, causing me to melt into his mouth, both moaning loudly. My hands traveled up to his hair, getting tangled in his locks. His motions were euphoric and heavenly, making my back arch with every move. Colby moaned roughly into my neck, kissing it and nipping at the skin with his teeth, leaving slight bruises as he trailed.

“Fuck, you feel so good Y/N.” My nails scraped along down his back, marking him as equally as he did me. He couldn’t keep back his moans as they sounded through my body. Unwinding. As is pace quickened, my orgasm started to grow nearer. I couldn’t hold it any longer, he was making me feel pleasure like I’ve never felt it before, “Colby, I’m so close!”

“Fuck baby, don’t come until I tell you too. I know you’re a good girl. My good, good girl.” He quickened his pace and became a little rougher with his thrusts, making me into a moaning mess. He couldn’t bring himself to tell me to be quiet anymore, he loved the way he was making me feel. He moved so he could put my legs over his shoulders, making my climax come quicker, “Colby, please!”

“Oh baby, I’m gonna come too.” He muffled tensely, his thrusts getting sloppier, I looked at him with pleading eyes, muttering and begging, Colby looked at me with pleading eyes, “Come for me beautiful.”

With that, I had unleashed my orgasm, coming undone at his command, moaning his name as I rode out my high. I started toying with my breasts to get him closer to his climax, wanting nothing more but the warm fill, “Colby, please come. Please!”

Not even a moment later he came undone too, filling me up with his come. We were both messes, moaning into each other as he collapsed on top of me, pecking my neck as he collected himself. He rolled over to the next of me, putting his arm underneath his head and one out for me to lay on. We were both panting like sick dogs. I propped myself up on my elbow, my head resting against my palm.

“You know, I’ve never seen you in here before.” I muttered, playing with a strand of my hair. I pondered it, because he was a beautiful man, a young man. A man that didn’t suit these kind of places.

“I thought you’d ask, it’s a good friend of mines birthday and we all thought it would be a good surprise to bring him here.” Colby chuckled, looking into my eyes. He reached out for my hand and placed it on his chest, his heart still erratic. “You are beautiful though, Y/N. I meant what I said.”

“Thank you. You’re not too bad yourself.” I giggled, him faking a hurt expression, giving me a pearly white smile, something that made me melt on the spot. His crinkles next to his eyes matching perfectly with his happy looks.

“A pretty girl like you, how’d you end up here?” He looked at me sincerely, wanting to know me a little better. I didn’t think he’d ask, making me feel slightly embarrassed that I have money issues.

“Oh it’s nothing, just- university won’t pay itself, you see.” I said with honesty. glancing down at my hands down, playing with them.

“University? That’s incredible, I can’t imagine how expensive that must be, I guess I can understand.” I looked up at him, he seemed genuine and I melted into his gaze, I gave him a small smile. Appreciating his kind words. Mouthing a ‘thank you’.

“You know,” propping himself up to really look at me this time, grabbing the two glasses of champagne on the table. Handing one to me, “I would really like to take you out, get you away from here eventually.”

“I would really love that.” I blushed, him smirking in return.

“It wouldn’t be classed as inappropriate to maybe cheers to this? A new beginning, potentially?” Him raising a glass.

I giggled, feeling a sense of happiness and fulfilment. Cuddled up with a man you feel like you’ve known forever, chatting, getting to know each other and just sealed a date with, raising a toast to a new beginning. “Cheers.”

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a/n- omg I had no plan for this just a thought, one thing led to another and BOOM. hope you enjoyed lol I never know how to wrap up endings

stay sweet x

#colby brock #colby smut #sam and colby #xplr #colby brock smut

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munchymuchy · 3 months

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New Money

(It’s the year 2006 it’s been two years since rikishi was released from the wwe. Though he’s still getting money and traction through doing his signings..it started to feel boring to him so he started doing something more fun to pull in money)

Rikishi sat in his car in nothing but a trench coat and a hat in front of the hotel waiting for one of his clients to come. After being released from the wwe rikishi found another way to make money..he was giving out personal stinkfaces to his fans.

Strangely his family had no problem with him doing it but told him to keep it on the low as not to make a media frenzy. Kishi kept looking forward to the motel in his own thought until he seen a car pull up into the lot. He waited to make sure before he got out that it was one of his client and surely enough it was.

It was man that looked like he was in his early 20s and looked like he weighed about 137 pounds with shaggy brown hair. He watched the man go inside and came back out with a room key. He sat for a little longer before he got just to make sure no one was around and made his move to the room door. He knocked a few times and waited for it to open.

Rikishi looked over his shoulder a couple a times to make sure again that no one was around and the door creaked open.

???: H-holy shit it’s really you

Rikishi gives a soft chuckle and softly push the door open and closes it quickly. The young looked as pale as a ghost, like he was a little scared. Kishi looked at the boy with concern and patted his head

Rikishi: Aw come on little dude, not gonna hurt ya.

The man seemed to look more relaxed and gave a nervous laugh. “Now, let’s get started” Rikishi said and started to take off his hat and started to untie his trench coat. The man sat on the bed watching the older Samoan man strip in front of him. He opened his trench coat revealing that he was wearing nothing under there besides a red thong.

???: wait, I thought you wore a black thong

Rikishi: You’re right, had to improvise since I gained all this weight. Booty got too big for the other one.

Rikishi seen the man blush a little when he said that. He gave him a small smile thinking he could have so much fun with this one.

Rikishi: oh yeah, don’t forget ya gotta pay me first before we start

Rikishi said putting out his hand out for money.

That snapped the man back to reality and reached into his pocket pulling out a wad of cash. It took rikishi by surprise that this young dude had this much money. He had atleast 1,000 dollars in a band. Rikishi put it on a desk and dropped his trench coat. He walked in front of the man and grabbed his face a little and then turned around to show off his butt.

Rikishi could feel the him breathing heavily on his butt. He could feel his hands on his butt squeezing one of his cheeks and wiggling the other. Seemed like the boy was having fun back there already. Rikishi hiked up his thong a little more and started to bend over signaling to him to dive his head in. The man wasted no time and put his face in his crack.

The boy started to sniff deeply taking in the scent with such an eager sniff like a dog. Rikishi started to move his hips in a circular motion so he could go deeper in his ass. After a couple of minutes rikishi stomach started to let out a low growl. Causing the man to pull back from his butt.

???: ya’know…if y-you need to fart..you can…you can do it on my face.

Rikishi looked back at the man surprised at what he said. He raised an eyebrow at him causing the man to almost back pedal.

???:O-or you d-don’t have to you can just let I-it out in bathroom or i-in a corner. I-I’m not gay or w-weird or anything ju-

Rikishi: what ya name son?

Finn: F-finn?

Rikishi: we’ll finn I’ll do it, don’t back pedal ain’t no judgement here

Rikishi reached behind himself to grab Finn’s head to place him in back his butt. Rikishi gave a little grunt and let off a 4 second fart into the man’s face. Finn moaned and grabbed the side of his cheeks to get in deeper. Another fart came out a lot stronger and bubblier. Rikishi looked down and saw Finn’s pants have a tint in the front. Rikishi laughed at the man getting a hard on after finn claimed he wasn’t gay.

Another growl emanated into the room. A lot deeper and louder..sounded like more gas was brewing and sounded like it was worse. He looked back at the small man deep in his butt sniffing away like a hungry animal. He pulled from the man’s face and started to peel his thong off showing his bare ass to the man.

Rikishi: hope your ready because your in for a treat!

Rikishi started to spread his cheeks wide, allowing finn to see the insides of his cheeks. Discoloration, a lil hair and his pucker. Before finn could react, rikishi backed his ass up onto his face. His ass wrapped around Finn’s head like a glove and let a wet fart fly out onto Finn’s face. His nose was right on his hole so every fart went straight into his lungs.

Finn started to get weak and his eyes started to feel like they were closing. However, his weakened state didn’t last long due to rikishi clamping his cheeks down on Finn’s face. With that, rikishi let off a fart that started off SBD and grew louder. It lasted around 12 seconds and Finn couldn’t handle it anymore blacking out inside the crack of this giant man.

Rikishi reached behind himself again and pulled the man out of his butt. Finn was basically a rag doll with a little brown smudge of his nose that look like a button. It even looked like he came in his pants. Rikishi got his stuff together, his money, and walked out with another satisfied customer.

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Hope you all enjoy the story. I kinda came up with this off the top of my head. I might do two more parts to this not sure yet.

#rikishi #fart kink #stinkface #stinkface story #slight shart

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nyxofdemons · 1 year

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okay okay okay. im so normal. im so so normal about this

some thoughts on the new episode:

*inhale*

MOXXIES DAD FUCKING SUCKS. I DONT EVEN HATE CASH AS MUCH AS I HATE CRIM. GOOD WORK TEAM IM FUCKING SEETHING ABOUT HIM (in a good writing way)

I LOVE THE GREED RING!!! the music is PHENOMENAL? i am obsessed with the soundtrack when they're first flying in, it's STUNNING

MILLIE AND MOXXIE BOTH DATED CHAZ. I WASNT EXPECTING THIS?? ITS SO FUNNY HELP

blitz being pissed at "THERE'S SOMEONE WHO FUCKED BOTH OF YOU?" GAJSBSV HES SO JEALOUS???

the fucking boat movie quote

listen chaz is funny and all but i fucking hate him for what he did to moxxie. die die die my boy deserved BETTER THAN THAT

I LOVE THE SCENE OF MOXXIE AND BLITZ MEETING!!! oh my god its so cute. blitz's annoying optimism and it cheering moxxie up almost instantly. MOXXIE HAVING A SOFT SPOT FOR KIDS (THE SOFT LITTLE SMILE WHEN BLITZ MENTIONS LOONA??)

"you called him a friendless horsefucker" and blitz changing it to "horseless friendfucker" as if the lack of horses is more notable. blitz's obsession with horses will literally never not be fucking golden

crim smacking moxxie was actually such a fucking incredible scene. like don't get me wrong i'm ready to kill him with my bare hands but the way this scene was DONE. the intensity and tension break was fucking PHENOMENAL. the same thing happened with moxxie's fight with striker. i could talk about this forever but the way the scene is shot and the camera angles and everything make it feel SO intimate and have such a close-up kind of fear to them.

"okay, first off, dad, i'm bisexual" "yeah, gay!" "FOR FUCKS SAKE" RHKAHWKABSVS

SORRY IM SORRY MOXXIES DAD BEING LIKE,,, VAGUELY HOMOPHOBIC YET STILL TRYING TO FORCE MOXXIE TO MARRY CHAZ. ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY GSKABQBD

seeing moxxie shrink and close up on himself hit SO CLOSE TO HOME,,, mox doesn't really censor himself at all with blitz - even though blitz is technically above him, they're still equal enough that moxxie will constantly snap back at him. seeing moxxie be so anxious and falter and stutter and hold his tongue is just..... god it feels so realistic and well done. im going to sob

THE FLASHBACK FUCKING DEVASTATED ME. GOOD FUCKING MORNING. oh my god baby moxxie and his mother and watching as crim ruins everything. im going to be sick

CHAZ'S MUSICAL NUMBER. THE EMOTIONAL PUNCHES AND THEN THE COMEDY ARE SO WELL TIMED GHAKABANSB

CHAZ AND BLITZ HOLY SHIT. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS??? i mean for starters it was fucking hilarious but like. oh my god. the stolitz implications (will stolas find out?? how will he feel??? does this tie into stolas giving him that crystal??? SOMETHING ABOUT BLITZ BEING SO DISSATISFIED WITH CHAZ GIVES ME STOLITZ FEELS. something something stolas being the best he's ever had and/or him LIKING stolas so much that he's not really enjoying being with anyone else??? HELLO????

MOXXIE STANDING UP TO HIS DAD!!!! GOOD FOR HIM!!! when he hit the table and crim jumped! combined with the calm and cold voice... GOOD SHIT

the priest officiating the wedding is so fucking funny. guy who doesn't get paid enough for this shit

THE MUSIC AGAIN!!! ITS SO GOOD

MILLIE MY WIFE MILLIE WITH A KNIFE MILLIE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

SHES SO COOL

I LOVE MILLIE SO MUCH

she ripped out a dude's spine and strangled someone else with it??? oh 👀👀👉👈

anyway i am having one million thoughts that i can't put into words but in conclusion!! GOOD episode good shit i'm emotionally devastated and will not be recovering for many many days <33

#mine #helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #helluva boss exes and oohs #e: exes and oohs

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therealpontius · 1 year

Text

Just for tonight…

Plot: your 3yr long relationship ended abruptly, can it be saved?

Warnings: body shaming/ sickness/ cursing/ breakup/ loneliness/ no smut

This is pt1 it ended up being longer than i thought, im not sure if i like this so much but im exited to write pt2. FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED

Wordcount: 2.4k

Part 2

"Your supposed to be my boyfriend! You never stick up for me!" Was your last words to your boyfriend, bam, 6 years ago now. You bad been sitting in aprils living room with bam, showing him the pictures you took of him on your camera when his friends all came in, his arm that was wrapped around you was whipped back to his side before his friends where in sight "yo!" They collectively shout "hey fatties here!" Dico laughed. You where bigger, not alot but definitely not as small as them. You sarcastically laughed at his joke once and ever since hes been saying it thinking it amused you, bam knew other wise though but still laughed along. Raab sat playing with a heavy football, kicking it around the place. You tried to hold bams hand but he wormed his away from you "hey chub chub catch!" Raab shouted to you, you turned round just in time for it to hit your nose full force with a crunch "fuck!" Instead of helping you they all laughed, a stream of blood coming out your nose "bam help!" "I um..." "BAM HELP ME" you screamed, the boys continued laughing. You just ran to the door, holding your nose still."Your supposed to be my boyfriend! You never stick up for me!" You shouted slamming the door shut.

Three years gone like that. No calls. No texts. Nothing...

Now you where 21, had your own small apartment in delaware. You played electric guitar at a nearby pub every weekend. Eyes still silently searching crowds for him and you hated yourself for it, he didnt even care about you so why did you still care about him?

You where headed back to west chester to visit your parents, your mom had grown really ill. The journey was three hours long and you tried to distract yourself from the overwhelming tiredness with music, it was 9am. The streets became familiar as you neared your birth town, you had missed it more than imagined.

"Mom? Dad?" You asked, opening the front door to your childhood home "sweetie!" You dad welcomed you with a warm hug, something you havent felt in too long "cmon moms in the living room" he said, leading you by your shoulder. You where met with a frail and pale looking woman, nothing like the mom you once knew. Instead of freaking out infront of her you ran to give her a hug "sweetie, dont worry. Ive had a hell of a life" she spoke softly to lighten your mood "i know mom i just wish i could do something to help you" "well..." she pulled away from you "you could pop to the shops, your dads too lazy" she laughed, rolling her eyes "sure thing! Write a list and ill head out as soon as"

You headed to the local aldi, the one with the skate park that you took loads of pictures of bam in. You ignored any thought of him, your here for your mom. 40 minutes later you where out the shop with four bags full. Looking back at the skate park on the small walk back to the car saddened you, the memories you had there, you spent more than half of your life there. "OH SHIT" you screamed, falling on your side. You had been hit by something and you werent sure what but all you knew was that the laughs that now surrounded you where painfully familiar "oh fuck! Dude are you okay?" Oh shit.. thats bam. You kept your head on the ground hoping it would just suck you in "um yeah im fine" you sat up, seeing all the boys you once grew up with gather your groceries and bam holding his hand out to you "look we are filming a show, ill pay you in cash for any hassle is that okay?" What the fuck was he on about, he didnt even recognised you. You face flushed as he held your hand, pulling you up "hey is that fattie?" Dico says making all the boys squint at you "holy shit... chub chub..." raab gasps "yeah, you found me out" you laughed awkwardly, hands coming up in fake surrender. Bam stood, jaw open slightly "well it was good seeing you!" You said, taking you bags back, a big hand grabbed your arm "ill come with, boys heres my keys. Ill see you later" "bam..." you rolled your eyes, both of you walking toward your car "you cant just do that bam" "yes i can?"

You both get into your car and he sighs "so? Where the fuck have you been?" You can admit, he had got a bit more bratty than the last time you saw him "tone it down on the bitchyness you dont need to impress anyone here. I moved to delaware, i got a job and a house" he scoffed "delaware is shit" "how would you know bambam?" Both your faces shocked at the nickname "did you just call me bambam? You havent called me that in ages" he blushed slight "so anyways. Why did you leave me?" You rolled your eyes, why is he so quizitive? "bam look not right now okay?" "No tell me" "fine. You never stuck up for me EVER your friends would bully me all the time. Everytime they where near you would reject even going near me." A tinge of guilt shadowed his face "look im a changed person, i was eighteen then" "yeah and so was i, i would've done that to you. Bam we dated for th-" "where you going?" You where taken back by his butting in "um my moms?" "Great i havent seen her in ages… well what are you waiting for?" You reluctantly started the car GOD WHY AM I STILL DOING THINGS FOR HIM

Before the engine could even start bam was looking in the storage bits of the car "where the fuck is my h.i.m cd?!" "Its in you dipshit" you pressed the play button and the music started, bam froze in confusion "oh... you actually listen to them?" You nod silently, driving out the parking lot "sweet..." he mumbles. Something about his company wasnt unwanted, it felt natural and... happy? "I kinda missed you, y/n." He spoke, like he was embarrassed. "I missed you too bam". He got more comfortable, headbanging the way he always did making you giggle "your really looking good bam" "you too y/n, are we almost there?" "Very close, something i should probably tell you first" he raised his brow, stopping his small rave "what?" "My mums really ill, thats why im back home" "oh shit..."

You purposely get out of the car before bam, speed walking to your door "there you are! Thought u popped your clogs for a min-" "dad, someone decided to tag along me" "hey brian!" Bam greeted him with a smile, holding all your shopping bags. your dads face dropped. Your dad didnt like bam, he thought he was a 'bad example' if anything "hello brandon" he says through gritted teeth, standing aside for you both to make your way in "hey princess, long time no see!" However, your mom had always been a fan, he always flattered her "bam! Nice seeing you son!" Bam had walked into the kitchen with the bags, he knew his way around the house too well. You followed behind him, helping putting the groceries away "its weird seeing you being responsible" "me? Well you know, im just trying to make it easier for your mom" he spoke, head in the freezer putting the icecream away "it means the world to us bam thankyou" he gets up with a genuine smile you missed with your whole soul on his face "princess do you need anything in?" He shouts to your mum "all i need is a catch up from you m'love" "im great with women what can i say" he winks at you, making his way into the living room.

Four hours of bam talking about jackass, the new show he had coming up and relentless questions from your dad had passed. It had became clear that ur dad didnt really hate bam as much as he used to *KNOCK KNOCK* you stood up "ill get that!" You opened the door to ryan, novak, raab, dico and frantz looking at you like lost children "is bam here?" Novak asked "yeah hes just-" all the boys pushed by you into your living room where bam sat with a cup of tea laughing with your mom "bam we have been looking for you like crazy!" Ryan says, nodding a hello to your mom and dad "ryan please leave" you asked impatiently "its okay fattie mcfat fat we are talking to bam" dico said in his best ‘intelligent’ voice, your dad got annoyed at his comment, knowing how youve been struggling with your weight as a child "get out! Out!" He shouts, the boys running out like a flock of scared sheep. You met them out of the door "stop calling me that!" "But you think its funny?" "Ive never found it funny! Its fucking upsetting, just leave. My mums ill and shes happy around bam. Im sure you can deal without him for a little" "yeah lets go guys, sorry for the hassle" ryan apologised, all of them walking away.

You open your door to bam putting on his jacket "im so sorry about that david" "its okay brandon. We will see you later" you dad walked back to the living room and left you and bam im the hall way "im so sorry for that y/n" you shook your head "its fine call me" you slipped your number into his hands and he left with a beaming smile.

The next day u heard absolutely nothing from bam, your phone firm in your hand but not a single message went through. You helped your mum stay comfy, fix the heating for her, make her cups of tea and she was forever grateful "sunshine? Wheres bam?" Sunshine was a nickname bam and your mom had given you that you hadnt heard in too long "i dont know mom, he hasnt called" you tried to hide how disappointed you where "thats a shame, i found a show me mightve liked"

12am arrived and you sat in your childhood bedroom, looking at your phone as if itwould suddenly beep on. But it didnt. Instead of getting all hung up over him again you stuck on the cky disk that lay ndxt to your cd player quietly.

1am *tink* you heard a little noise but ignored it *tink* *tink* what the fuck? You looked round your room for the small noise *TINK* it sounded from your window and you opened your blinds, bam and ryan stood how they always did at the bottom, you opened your window and stuck your head out "what are you? Children?" "Yeah, we are coming up" you watched as the two climbed up on the small roof, helping eachother out. You grabbed onto ryans clammy hand to help him and he helped bam in "cky? Awesome!" Ryan said loudly, walking to the cd player "ryan shut the fuck up my parents are home" "what are you? A child?" You smacked his head with the back of your hand. Ryan was like the cousin you would only see occasionally. Bam lay in your bed behind you, you felt like you had two toddlers twaddling around all curious "sorry y/n i cant stay for long, bam told me not to" ryan said looking back at you both, the light against his face showing his growing facial hair "that wasnt the excuse we practiced pube face" bam groaned "whaaat? Im forgetful remember?" Ryan said sarcastically, they went on like a married couple too often.

30 minutes later, ryan was leaving out the window leaving only you and bam "this room hasnt changed at all" He spoke taking your attention away from the window where you watched ryan walk back to his house "i havent been in it for 5 years, you laughed, looking around "what happened to the camera?" "The camera? OH" you searched under your bed for the professional camera that you had gotten with your own money in the 90s, coated in dust "i retired her alittle" you laughed. Bam put his arm around you the way he always did when you would show him the pictures and held you close. The pictures loaded up as you went through them, the occasional funny ones or ones where he fell appeared.

They brought you back to that point in your life when you would run away with him, drinking in abandoned skateparks and annoying the locals. 'Outlaws' , 'misfits' they called you. You laughed in their faces, so unaware of what was to come.

"god these are so good" he laughed, eventually you came across a picture of you two kissing and skipped by it quickly "hey what was that?" Bam laughed, skipping back "wow shes gorgeous i wonder where she is now" he nudged you "SHE is? Have you saw him?" You nudged him back "y/n?" "Yes bam bam?" "Can i kiss you?" Your face flushed and you looked at him supprised, instead of answering you kissed him, his warm hand coming up to cradle your face. You didnt want to have sex with him, you didnt need to. All you wanted was to feel whole again with him, the feeling of having him near was all you wanted "i missed you" you whispered, bringing your head down onto his shoulder "why didnt you call or visit me after i left you?" He brought his arms around you "i was scared" "scared?" "I didnt want to admit that i was a shitty boyfriend" “did you even think of contacting me?” “No… im sorry. I was a naive child” “so was i” he planted a gentle kiss on your forehead “so when are you going back?” “Tomorrow..." "tomorrow ?!" He freaks out grabbing your hands and pulling away from the hug "why are you leaving me so soon" you laugh alittle "bam i have a job, a house" "friends?" Your face drops.

Maybe delaware wasnt a bad place to live in but god you where fucking lonley. Day after day after day you would wake up in a double bed alone hoping that somehow you would wake up in the warm embrace of him.

"i dont need friends" "y/n cmon, you got a good thing here in westchester" bam brought your hands up to his face as he looked deep into your eyes “bam its not that simple, i cant just give up my life” “well tonight im going to make up for being so shitty. Get your shit together we are going”

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cosmicjoke · 1 year

Text

“... I tried to grant her fondest wish, that she should have the body of a woman, a fit shape for the tragic dimension of her soul.

Well, in my clumsy alchemy, slicing heads from bodies and stumbling to transplant one to another, I failed...

Let me say here, she was herself again, hideously wounded, a botched reassemblage of the angelic child she’d been before my attempts, when she was locked out in the brutal morning to meet her death with a clear mind. The fire of Heaven destroyed the awful unhealed evidence of my Satanic surgery as it turned her to a monument in ash. No evidence remained of her last hours within the torture chamber of my makeshift laboratory. No one need ever have known what I say now.

For many a year, she haunted me. I could not strike from my mind the faltering image of her girlish head and tumbling curls fixed awkwardly with gross black stitching to the flailing, faltering and falling body of a female vampire whose discarded head I’d thrown into the fire.

Ah, what a grand disaster was that, the child-headed monster woman unable to speak, dancing in a frenetic circle, the blood gurgling from her shuddering mouth, her eyes rolling, arms flapping like the broken bones of invisible wings.

It was a truth I vowed to conceal forever from Louis de Pointe du Lac and all whoever questioned me. Better let them think that I had condemned her without trying to effect her escape, both from the vampires of the theater and from the wretched dilemma of her small, enticing, flat-chested and silken-skinned angelic form.

She was not fit for deliverance after the failure of my butchery; she was as a prisoner subjected to the cruelty of the rack who can only smile bitterly and dreamily as she is led, torn and miserable, to the final horror of the stake. She was as a hopeless patient, in the reeking antiseptic death cubicle of a modern hospital, freed at last from the hands of youthful and overzealous doctors, to give up the ghost on a white pillow alone.

Enough. I won’t relive it.

I will not.

I never loved her. I didn’t know how.

I carried out my schemes in chilling detachment and with fiendish pragmatism. Being condemned and therefore being nothing and no one, she was a perfect specimen for my whim. That was the horror of it, the secret horror which eclipsed any faith I might have pleaded later in the high-blown courage of my experiments. And so the secret remained with me, with Armand, who had witnessed centuries of unspeakable and refined cruelties, a story unfit for the tender ears of a desperate Louis, who could never have borne such descriptions of her degradation or suffering, and who did not truly, in his soul, survive her death, cruel as it was.”

God damn, Armand. I know Lestat’s done some fucked up shit, but this takes the cake for worst thing, lol. Holy shit. If you ever needed evidence that Armand wasn’t in a good place mentally when Lestat came to see him, welllll...

Like, dude, you could’ve just given her a bunch of cash and told her to get outta’ dodge, lol. I feel so much for Armand, I truly do. He’s far and away had the most difficult life of any of the vampires in this series, but even he’s calling out his reasoning here for why he did this to Claudia, that he was trying to rescue her from her fate as a child vampire, admitting that no, truly, he just wanted to fuck her up, and the fact she was condemned to death was the perfect excuse for him to do it.

Now you know why the other vampires are scared of this mofo, lol. This makes it infinitely funnier with the people trying to claim Armand as some wilting innocent sweetheart who’s better for Louis than Lestat. Like, no, lol, Armand is not well.

God though, poor Claudia. Louis should’ve listened to her man. But nope, he didn’t, and this is the result.

#The Vampire Armand #Armand

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justyoursicanon · 2 years

Text

I'm Just A Call Away

Summary: Scout decides to catch up with one of his older brothers, talking about home and work. And maybe even one of Scout's coworkers getting to know him more.

(No warnings besides a few swears here and there, just Scout talkin to his family)

(Edit! Want a continuation of what Scout and Sniper do next? Check out No need to call, when your already home! +includes sniperscout!)

You may start reading! ^^

Scout let out dragged breaths as he leaned on his locker, another successful battle, beating the BLUE's ass and all that. Just the usual as Scout would say. He quickly removes his cap and headphones, letting his fingers brush through his messy dirty blond hair, and throwing them in his locker before grabbing a spare shirt and running out, letting the doors swing and close. The other men glance at each other in confusion. "Why is little Scout in hurry?" Heavy asked as he kept his dear Sasha, everyone shrugged while Spy just rolled his eyes, changing his cigarette before cloaking away from everyone.

Messily and quickly putting on his shirt, Scout ran to the empty phone booth while digging into his pocket for something, finally his fingers brushed against a piece of paper. Pulling it out, he again quickly as ever unfolds it an reads the numbers. A few more moments and he grabs the phone and pushes in the number combination. Tapping his foot impatiently as he lays his arm on the box and lets his forehead rest on his arm. Finally, someone picked up.

Scout very much expected his Ma to pick up but he'd say the voice on the other side was way better.

"Hello?"

Scout was taken back by this, the voice was a man, rough with tiredness like he hadn't slept for days. He caught the Boston accent and he finally recognized him. "Jack?" Scout asked. The other voice didn't reply for a beat, rustles of papers and maybe even pens can be heard on the other line. "Holy shit Jer? Jeremy is that you?" The tired voice suddenly turned a bit higher and maybe even brighter. Scout smiled recognizing his 2nd eldest brother. "Jackson dude! How ya been bro? How's the writing and all that?" Scout asked. He could hear his brother chuckle slightly while another something can be placed on a rough surface, probably his glasses.

"Yea the writing process has been good actually- Just checking a few copies here and there, doing autographs and all that shit." Scout chuckled. "Damn you doing autographs now? Didn't know ya got that famous while I was gone!" He heard his brother chuckle at the other end, then hearing a quiet sigh. "Honestly never thought it would be a success, first it was just.. Writing silly little comics with you and the other shits and now am here.." Scout shrugged, "Pretty unbelievable if ya ask me, but hey! Least it worked out right?" Another chuckle from his brother and Scout could tell Jack was grinning. "Course it worked out, am over here working my ass off!" "Alright alright no need to yell over there Jackass!" They both yelled, and ended up laughing.

"Awh anyways how's the family there? Ma doing okay? The other dumbasses doing alright too?" "Yea everyone's doing alright, Ma's having the time of her life relaxing after 6 months of working her ass off after ya gave us a shit load of money- Actually hey how did you get that much cash? What are you even working for anyways?"

Scout froze at that question, he always hoped no one would ask the obvious but of course it wouldn't always go that way. Scout swallowed hard and brushed his hair through his fingers. "U-uh yknow just some serious construction work and all that bullcrap. Nothing special." "Uh huh. Nothing special that you ended up giving us 10, 000 bucks?" Jack's voice slipped with sarcasm and disbelief, While Scout just scoffed and tried to keep his facade on. "Oh come on Jack, is it really hard to believe am just that good at ma job?" "Yes." Jack replied quickly and let a giggle slip. "Well whatever you say Jer, just make sure to come home once the holidays comes alright?" "Yea yea I get it dad." Scout could tell Jack rolled his eyes. He glanced at the sun, watching it slowly come down, dinner was gonna start soon so might as well wrap this up. "How's your latest novel doing Jack? Good enough for da public?" Jack only let out an 'eh' while Scout heard a bit of writing in the background. "I'd say it's great, kinda proud of it. But the problem is the cover." Scout raised an eyebrow. "Whaddya mean?" "Wasn't able to get a cover artist and am kinda on a dead end. And since you called I was gonna.. Well ask if you could do it." Scout felt the hair on the back of his neck stand.

"You.. You want me to do your cover art?" "If it's not too much of a problem then yea, I've seen ya artwork Jer and it's pretty damn good if I say so myself." Scout paused for a moment, letting his fingers drum on the phone box. "Ya sure dude?" "Oh my God- Yes Jeremy am sure! Your one of the best artist in this damn family of course I am sure!" Jack almost yelled and Scout chuckled. "Alright alright shut it Jackass I'll do it! When ya sending ya first copies?" "Possibly next year on March so ya better have ya ass here on the holidays so we can work on it!" Scout paused again, before sighing and letting a smile crawl on his lips. "Yea.. I'll do ya damn cover art for ya." "Thank God, thought I had to drive all the way there to ya job and make ya." Jack joked. Scout laughed again and his eyes caught the sun fully down. He fidgets a bit with his grip tape before he hears Jack sigh as well. "Looks like it's dinner time, go get your ass back to your work and eat. Call again tomorrow alright Jer?" Scout's smile got brighter. "Yea yea you got it Jackass." Scout could hear Jack snort. "Night Jer." "Night Jack." And the line dropped. Scout put the phone back and leaned on the phone box, his smile not ever leaving his lips. God he missed home-

"So, who's Jack?" "GAH!" Scout jumped up and turned to his 'karate pose' ready to punch whoever was there. To his relief, it was just Sniper. A cigarette between his lips as he stood a few feet away from Scout. "Jeez man warn a guy next time." Scout grumbled while Sniper quietly chuckled. "Sorry roo, didn't mean to scare ya." Grabbing the cig between his fingers, he drops it on the sand and crushing it with his boot. "So, who's Jack?" "Huh?- O-oh right yea uh Jack's one of my brothers back at Boston, really good writer if ya ask me." Sniper silently nodded as he looked away and to the distance. "You doing his cover art?" Scout froze. "How much did ya hear dude?" Sniper shrugged. "From ya talking about you 'construction work' till now." Scout flushed a bit. "Y-yea just doing my bro a favor yknow?" "So ya do art?" Scout paused again, feeling panic rise slightly. "U-uh... Yea.." He muttered. They both fell silent, the cold air touching their hair and skin.

"That's nice, never thought of you for the drawing type." "O-oh yknow me Snipes! Am just full of surprises." Scout grinned as he put his hands on his hips. Sniper seemed to smile a bit at Scout's usual ego showing again. "Oh right, dinner's almost ready. Engineer told me to pick ya bloody ass up." Scout brightened at the mention of dinner. "Well what are we waiting for Legs? Let's get going!" Scout jumped slightly and ran ahead from the marksman. Sniper smiled again, and followed the runner.

The End ^^

#SiC anon writes #team fortress 2 #tf2 #scout tf2 #tf2 scout #sniper tf2 #tf2 sniper

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self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2 · 2 months

Text

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 12x23 Let the Good Times Roll

“We went real life on this shit? Come on now” “of what?” “what? What does any of that mean?” It’s Kardashian shit

“They must be using those gas airsoft guns, because Sam’s hair went flippin’ when he shot it” “gotta have one last monster hunt” “Dean sees Depends?” “Is Dean talking to his bowel blockage? You come out the other end? This is so funny. It’s going to move. I’m going to have a movement. We all shit” “whole lotta shit. Just grunt it out. Laxatives and deal with our shit like family” “is that cash register boy from earlier?” “Is Jack going to paint the walls with this guy or what?” “I mean he’s still alive” “they really keep replaying that one. How many times have we seen the security guard crack into the head?” “what band is that?” Destiny’s Child. Cas gave Dean Beyonce

“How do you know this shit?” “the other world Michael probably” “not really” “can’t he just walk over it?” No he can’t walk over holy oil

Laughter

“Couldn’t you have already done that without announcing it, Cas?” “it’s always the same old shit” “who killed her ass?” “were they red or yellow? Probably red I assume” “wouldn’t everyone be running?” “they’re all just going to stand there and wonder what happens?” “is he going to do the angel blasty thing?” “fkn busted man.” “Can we just nuke Michael first please?” “daddy issues” “fkn giving up that easy huh?” “again? You fkn kidding me?” “is he fkn choking out on the moon or what?” “hmm” “that easy to power Michael down, huh?” “really?” “seems like a really bad idea” “What’s with the sword dude in the glass?” It’s St. Michael

“The fuck is wrong with these people?” “I love how it’s all take the knife and kill me, but Dean’s doing the same thing on the other side. And before he gets there, the kid is almost dead” “Did both angels get melted?” No

“That’s unfortunate” “Lucifer is fkn dead now. For Now” “it’s the robot bitch” “I mean, if you’re all going to die before this moment anyway, it’s a step towards progress kinda” “What’s Cas upset about?” “what’s with the fkn hat?” “really? With the freeze frame and everything? Fuck.”

#beautifulspouserewatchesspn #supernatural rewatch #supernatural #supernatural s13

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yesiplaygamez · 1 year

Text

Bull: I'm in love with a Tavinter

On the low, I'm tryna fuck

Bad as hell, he's a keeper

I just hope I'm enough

I got a big axe

I'm gonna kick ass

he's twerkin' in the cave to get cash

he's got a thick ass

I'm in love with a Tavinter, I'm in love

Inquisitor: Tavinter, I hardly know him

You know I'm a glower

And not a shower, boy

How did you get so thick with no curves?

You a whole snack

Like an hors d'oeuvre

he's hissin' like a demon

I'm in his nether regions

We're sailing on a wave, ay

Let me explode in your cave

Bull: Not tryna be too lewd, but my ax got level three protection

Feed you wine to get you in the mood

My rod's got a little erection

I can't get you off my mind

So I gotta craft a way to make you mine

Planks and sticks, baby, give me a sign

And break the bed 'cause we ain't sleepin' tonight

Bull: I'm in love with a Tavinter

On the low, I'm tryna fuck

Bad as hell, his a keeper

I just hope I'm enough

I got a big axe

I'm gonna kick ass

He's twerkin' in the cave to get cash

he got a thick ass

I'm in love with a Tavinter, I'm in love

Bull: Dude what's up? I think I found my new bae

Inquisitor :Aw, no way, that's what I was gon' say

Bull : Oh, that's tight, dude, you gotta meet him

Inquisitor : My guy, too

he's a mage from tavinter (what?)

Bull: Holy shit, I think we fell for the same dude

Inquisitor :That's impossible, who he gon' pick?

Bull: Should we battle like Liam Neeson?

Both: Not necessary if we have a threesome

Inquisitor: Ay dude, we got a proposition

Bull: We got one diamond hoe and a whole lot of seed, yuh

Inquisitor: Don't wanna put ya in a weird position

Bull: He's got raw pork and I got wine to feed ya

Inquisitor: No pressure, we just thought that it could be fun

Bull: Hop onto the horse, do it like a speed run

Inquisitor: We can keep it on the low, baby

Both: What do you say?

Dorain: No

Both: Aw

Its not the best edit of a song but meh.

Original

youtube

#Youtube

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thiccnthintfs · 3 years

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A Week at the Pool

A/N: Here is Story 2! It is quite long; too long, I think, actually. Hopefully, some of y'all enjoy it; I understand that longer stories aren't everyone's cup of tea.

Monday:

Joe sighed as he took in his reflection in the locker room mirror.

"Bro, I don't know about this..." he muttered, using his right hand to adjust his dick. "This fuckin' speedo doesn't leave much to the imagination...and what kind of faggy pool requires this as dress code for its lifeguards?" Joe stopped fiddling with his dick and sighed again, running a hand through his shaggy hair.

"Fuck if I know, dude," Dylan replied. The brunet was standing under a showering, giving himself a spritz before they had to walk out into the hot sun. "But for $18 an hour? I'll go out there in a g-string for that much cash!" Dylan turned off the shower tap and gave his friend a smirk. "And say what you fuckin' want to, bro, but I like how this thing hugs my cock. Really shows it off for the chicks." Still smirking, Dylan glanced down at his dick, as it bulged in his red speedo.

"Bro, what chicks?" Joe scowled at his friend as they both started to head out of the locker room. Outside, Joe gestured at the pool. "This place is fuckin' fag city!" Dylan frowned as he took in the pool. His friend did kind of have a point. Of all the people at the pool, probably about 95% of them were dudes and those dudes did seem a bit...fruity. Hardly a pound of muscle on any of them and they were all paired off or prancing around in groups, giggling. Rows of twinks were sunbathing all along the pool, their puny dicks on display in their small speedos.

"It's not...that bad..." Dylan said unconvincingly. A few feet away from them, two twinks sunning themselves by the pool's edge were giggling as one rubbed some tanning lotion into the other's lower back. Grinning mischievously, the twink rubbing the lotion in moved suddenly to slap his friend's ass, causing both to squeal and giggle even even further. Without missing a beat, both twinks turned to look at Dylan, smiling flirtatiously. Dylan gagged. "On second thought..." he muttered.

"Shit dude, I don't know if this is worth it, even for the cash," Joe retorted, shooting a disgusted look toward the two giggling twinks. "I don't wanna be surrounded by fags all summer longDylan sighed and placed an arm around his bro's shoulder. "I get it, man, I get it, but look...you're seeing the small picture here," Dylan said conspiratorially. "Sure, this place is a lil fruity...but look. See over there?" Dylan gestured to the other side of the pool, where a big-titted blonde was palling around with two twinks. "And there?" A few steps away, a brunette with a sweet ass was sunning her back as she chatted to the lithe boy in the chair beside her. "And...holy shit, over there?" Joe followed Dylan's stare to the shallow end of the pool where a sexy redhead chick was hitting a volleyball back and forth with a similarly redheaded twink. Just then, the girl hit the volleyball outside the pool.

"Oh noo!" she chirped, looked crestfallen.

"No worrieth, I'll get it!" her twinky friend lisped back. He climbed out of the pool, stretching for a second, before he pranced after the ball.

On the other hand, shit had gone swimmingly for Dylan, it seemed, who was attached to the redheaded chick all day yesterday. His friend had successfully inserted himself into the chick and her twinky friend's volleyball game and the two had hung out the rest of the day. Although, Joe remembered with a smirk, it seems like his friend hadn't managed to ditch the fag. On more than one occasion, Joe had looked off toward his friend to see him strolling or splashing around with his conquest, but never far behind, always off to the side was redheadedt twink.

"That's the point, Joe my bro...these aren't just chicks. They're fag hags. Chicks who love to pal around with little gay boys." Dylan smirked evilly at his friend. "Meaning that they are ripe for the picking by you...and me." Dylan's grin widened as he gestured first to himself, then to his friend.

Joe paused. He hadn't considered this angle.

"You think so? You think we can tear them away from their faggy friends?" Joe asked. He still didn't sound convinced.

"Bro, have you looked in the mirror lately?" Dylan chuckled. "We're fuckin' seeeexy, bro. Especially compared to all the fairies." Dylan joked, seemingly to finally win Joe over, who was grinning now as well. "Trust me, bro. No chick here's gonna wanna get dicked down by these betas after they see what two alphas like us are packin'..."

"Okay, bro, you've convinced me," Joe relented, "Let's find us some fag hags to fuck!!"

"Already one step ahead of you, bro!" Dylan shouted and with that he was already jogging away toward the redheaded volleyball player from earlier. He smirked back at his friends, his pecs bouncing as he jogged away. "I'm feeling in the mood for some volleyball!"

Tuesday:

Joe glowered, trying his damnedest to stare a hole into the tile of the locker room floor as he slipped out of his boxers.

"Some shittin' plan this is, alright..." Joe muttered, throwing his boxers into his locker and slamming it shut.

Yesterday had not gone according to plan at all. At least, not for Joe. Every time he tried approaching a girl, he'd get maybe get a few minutes in, but then it was almost like he'd get divebombed by fags. All the time giggling and smiling at him, rubbing up against him as he walked by, and not to mention staring at his dick all the fucking time. Joe couldn't take the shit. Eventually, he'd found a shady corner of the pool and kept a low profile the rest of the day, scowling at any fag who came close by.

Joe sighed, pulling up his speedo. He then pawed at his bulge. Could never get comfortable in this damn thing.

Despite it all, he'd come back for another day, hoping that things would maybe go a bit better. Maybe there would be fewer fags in attendance today, after all. The sound of a slamming locker door jarred Joe out of his thoughts. That would be Dylan.

"Yo Dylan, what the fuck happened yesterday-" Joe turned a corner, expecting to see his friend, but stopped short when he saw a blond boy undressing on a bench, midway through pulling off his gray tank top. The blond bit his lip and was staring back at him with wide eyes.

"Shit, not another fag..." Joe muttered under his breath, then cleared his throat. "Uhhh, sorry...dude, thought you were my bro Dylan..." Joe awkwardly ran a hand through his hair and turned to leave.

"Wait," the blond quickly said, causing Joe to turn back, "Umm...are you one of the new lifeguards?"

"Uh, yeah..." Joe mumbled. This fag was still staring up at him with his big eyes and it was starting to freak Joe out.

"Do you..." the twink was biting his lip again, "Do you think you can teach me how to swim!?" The question was blurted out all at once.

"Uhh..." the question had caught Joe off guard. He ran a hand through his hair again. "Look, umm, I'm not a swim teacher, dude, so I can't really-"

"Please!" the twink shouted, leaning forward, "My friends dragged me here...but I don't even know how to swim...I know it's not a thing you'd normally do, but please teach me?"

Joe furrowed his brows. This guy was starting to piss him off. He took a deep breath to compose himself.

"...Sure, alright." Joe said, then blinked, surprised. Had he...had he just fuckin' agreed to teach this fag how to swim?! He'd had every intent on telling this twink off, why in the hell had he agreed?

"Yay! Yay" the blonde was bouncing up and down, then suddenly leapt up. Joe looked down and saw that the twink had wrapped one of his arms around Joe's. He was smiling up at Joe and blushing slightly. "I'm Mikey, by the way. Thanks so much...?"

"Uhh, Joe," Joe muttered, feeling his own face redden at the sudden contact. Inside, he was screaming. Why the fuck was he letting this fag hang off of him like some chick? But as much as he kept asking himself this, Joe couldn't bring himself to shove the twink away.

Mikey continued to smile up at Joe. "Thanks for teaching me how to swim, Joe. I'll just get rid of this real quick..." Mikey detached himself from Joe and quickly peeled off his tank top, draping it over the bench, and shucked his black shorts off, too. Joe couldn't help but make a face. Under his shorts, the twink was already wearing a hot pink speedo.

"Okay!" Mikey chirped, taking Joe by the hand, "Let'th go, Joe!"

"Sure..." Joe mumbled again. His mind was racing. Why had he agreed to this again? Why was he letting this little fag lead him around like he owned him? What the fuck was going on?

As Mikey led Joe outside, maybe he was imagining it, but Joe could've sworn that he heard a chorus of giggles erupt as the two emerged from the locker room. Shit. Joe felt fucking mortified and kept his eyes on the ground as Mikey led him onward. There goes any chance of landing a girl at this place, Joe thought. After this, they'll all think that I'M a fag, too!

Joe was so absorbed in his thoughts, he barely registered it as Mikey led him down some concrete steps into the most shallow part of the pool. "So, um...what do I do?" the twink bit his lip as he turned to look up at Joe. Even here in the shallow end, the water was nearly up to the twink's chest. It barely came up to Joe's ass. Still not fully registering how or why he wanted to do everything the little fag said, Joe reached down to grab Mikey, turning the blond horizontal in the water so that the twink's bubble butt was pointed straight up. He kept hold of the twink, easily holding the light boy so that he didn't sink. "Okay...bro. So...just start paddling your arms and legs and we'll...see how things go, alright?" Joe said awkwardly. In response, Mikey started flailing his arms and legs back and forth. A second later, the twink was giggling as he awkwardly attempted to swim. In spite of himself, Joe found himself grinning down at the blond. His eyes kept getting drawn toward the twink's plump ass, which swayed and bounced back and forth as the twink paddled. A small part of Joe was still aware of how fucking strange it was for him to play swim instructor to a random twink. That same part of Joe knew that that wasn't the strangest thing about today, though. The strangest thing was that underwater, just a foot or two below Mikey's bouncing ass, Joe had the stiffest fucking hard-on he'd ever had in his life.

Wednesday:

Joe was sitting down on one of the locker room benches, holding his head between his hands. Why had he fucking come back? Yesterday has been a bit of a blur. He remembered sticking with Mikey most of the day, helping the twink learn how to swim. He...he even remembered how turned on he'd been as the fag had bounced up and down in the water. And despite it all, Joe had woke up this morning and come back to the pool, pulled on the speedo that fuckin' suffocated his dick, and was ready to do it all over again. What the fuck was going on with him? "Yoo, broski, you managed to hit it lucky yet?" a familiar voice said from behind Joe, who turned to see Dylan standing there smirking in his red speedo. "Dude, where the fuck where you yesterday?" Joe fumed, standing up to glare at his friend. "I didn't see you all day yesterday! I ended up...babysitting this fucking fag all day! I...I'm not even sure why the fuck I came back today!" Joe ran a hand through his hair again. "Like, chiLL, JOey!" Dylan said, his voice cracking unexpectedly. Dylan looked puzzled for just a second, cleared his throat and then threw a burly arm around his friend. "Just gotta set your sights on a girl and go for it! Like me! And if you score some twink ass along the way..." Dylan trailed off, smirking suggestively at Joe. "Dylan, what the fuck?!" Joe shouted, throwing his friend's arm off. "Are...are you turning fag on me, bro? What the fuck, you're straight as an arrow?" "What-no! Bro-" Dylan grumbled, suddenly looking frustrated and embarrassed. "I...I'm not" Dylan trailed off, stumbling for words. Eventually, he sighed. "Look, bro...all I'm saying is...a hole is a hole, right?" Dylan's eyes widened as soon as he'd said the words, almost like he'd been surprised to say them. "Dude..." Joe was staring at his friend in shock. "What. The. Fuck." "Uhh...suit your fucKIN' SElf then, bro!" Dylan shouted, throwing his hands up and walking off. "See if I care! Hope you're haPPY with blue balls, bro! I'm late for volleyball with AJ!"

Joe stared after his friend in confusion. Dylan was moving away pretty quickly, his hips swaying as he scurried off. Just as Dylan was turning a corner, Joe saw him adjust the rear material of his speedo. Huh...now that he thought about it, had Dylan been hitting the squats at the gym lately? His ass was certainly looking...full. And his voice had cracked again...what the fuck was going on with his friend? And who the fuck was AJ? Joe was so absorbed in his thoughts over Dylan, he didn't hear Mikey sneaking up behind him.

"Joe!" the twink yelped, surprising Joe as he hugged him from behind. Joe turned to see Mikey, still in his pink speedo, smiling up at him. "Ready for Day 2, big guy..? I think we really made some progreth yethterday..."

=======

"Nice, Mikey! Yeah, just like that!" Joe smiled down at Mikey as the twink awkwardly paddled forth in the water.

Despite the weirdness with Dylan earlier, soon as as Mikey showed up, the blond had managed to quickly lure Joe into another round of swimming lessons. Joe still hated fags, or so he'd remind himself every now and again. Still, there was something about Mikey that just...got past all of Joe's defenses. Something about the little twink that Mikey liked, even.

'Admit man,' Joe suddenly thought to himself, 'You want to rail this fucking fag into next week. He fuckin' loves you. He'd let you pound his ass in a fuckin' heartbeat...' Joe shoved those thoughts away, then tried to discreetly palm his cock.

Thank goodness no one could see his obscene bulge underwater. Just like yesterday, Mikey had inexplicably given him the biggest fucking hard-on. Some part of Joe still knew that there was something fucked up about this, but it was like that part of him was locked up whenever he was around Mikey.

"Thanks, Joe...you're an awesome teacher," Mikey stoped paddling to stand up in the water. Maybe it was the sun, but for a second there, the twink almost looked like he was blushing. "Uhh...I'm really glad that you became one of the new lifeguards..."

Mikey moved in for a close hug. "Uhh..." Joe mumbled, caught off guard, but moving in automatically to return the hug. "Shit..."

Joe looked down. As the two hugged, Mikey's head was nestled up against Joe's right pec and the little twink's lips were just inches away from his nipple. "Mikey..." Joe began, feeling his dick twitch in his speedo.

At that, Mikey shifted to bring their bodies closer underwater. "Shit..." Joe muttered again, feeling his hard cock rub up against the twink. Anyone swimming underwater would see that the two were now hugging so tightly, they were literally dick-to-dick. And fuck...Mikey was hard, too, Joe realized. He could feel the heat coming off of the tiny twink's hard-on.

Heh. A part of Joe chuckled. Not that he was surprised, but he definitely had Mikey beat in the size department.

"I'm, uh..." Mikey broke away from the hug, "I'm going to head to the showers..." The twink smiled knowingly at Joe as he climbed out of the pool. Joe's eyes were glued to the twink's ass as he sashayed off toward the locker room showers.

Joe stared after Mikey. Now that the twink was gone, his spell should've been broken.

'Fuck! Leave!' Joe screamed to himself. Instead, he found himself moving to chase after the twink.

"Ooh, go get him straight boy!" crowed one sunbathing fag.

"Looks like Mikey's getting dicked down today...about time!" hooted another redheaded twink, elbowing and winking at a brown-haired friend at his side.

"I'm...jealouth..." the brown-haired twink muttered, his eyes on Joe's bulge as it bounced up and down, as the jock jogged off toward the locker room.

=======

Joe inhaled deeply as he stepped into the locker rooms. He could hear one of the showers running around the next corner. Joe rounded the corner into the shower room to see Mikey standing daintily under one of the spigots along the middle of the far wall. The twink was rinsing all of the chlorine out of his short blond hair. Joe stepped closer, his eyes tracking the small droplets of water racing down Mikey's back before vanishing into a small gap between the twink's skin and speedo. Down into the crack between Mikey's plump ass cheeks.

Joe felt his dick twitch again.

He sauntered closer to the twink. He sidled right up to the blond, lining up the outline of his hard cock so that it just poking up against the twink's bubble butt. As he did, Mikey giggled.

He just stood, exactly like that, for a few moments. Then Mikey began to slowly turn around. As he did, Joe's dick ran across one of Mikey's butt cheeks, then his hip, and then finally he felt his hard-on brushing up against Mikey's again, just like in the pool. Now that they were both out of the pool, Joe could really tell how much bigger he was than the twink. As it bulged out and over Mikey's hard-on, Joe realized that his hard cock had to be at least twice the size of Mikey's...maybe even more?

"Hey Joe..." the twink murmured, smiling almost bashfully, "Decided to join me, huh?" The twink lightly grinded his tiny dick into Joe's and the jock felt his breath hitch.

'A hole is a hole...right, bro?' Dylan's voiced suddenly whispered in Joe's head.

He learned down and crushed his lips fiercely against Mikey's. The two greedily made out for a few moments, tasting and biting each others lips up top as their grinded their dicks against each other down below. They broke apart from each other a few moments later, gasping for air.

"I..." Joe muttered, suddenly feeling more clarity than he'd felt all week. "I...don't know what it is about you. I'm straight. I can't fucking stand fags, but...fuck. I...don't think I've ever been this hard for anyone before, ever."

Mikey giggled. "I like you, too...Joey," the twink replied. And then the blond was bending down. Joe inhaled sharply as he felt the twink's face rub up against his cock. "Mmm...you smell so good, Joey."

It took everything in Joe to not come then and then, as Mikey nuzzled his cock with his nose. "Fuck..." Joe muttered, feeling the twink lick his cock through his speedo, all the way from its tip to its base.

"No!" Joe said suddenly and reached down to yank Mikey back up onto his feet. The twink looked surprised until he saw the deeply...hungry look on Joe's face. "You little bitch. Don't think you're gonna get out of this with just a blowjob."

Joe reached into the rear of Mikey's speedo and palmed the twink's ass, making the twink moan in response. "You've been fuckin' teasing me with this fuckin' fat ass of yours since yesterday..." Joe growled, "It's your ass I want, faggot...get ready."

And with that, Joe yanked his speedo down, shimmying out of it until it was down around one ankle. The he kicked off to the far side of the room. Smirking, he let Mikey take in his full length for a moment as it freely bobbed up and down. He then jerked it a few times, moving his hand slowly up and down all of his 7 and a half inches.

Joe's smirked widened as he saw that Mikey's eyed were glued to his cock.

"Mmm...yessir!" the twink eventually chirped and an instant later, he was stripping out of his speedo as well. Turning again, the twink braced himself against the wall with his hands and presented his ass to Joe.

Jerking himself a time or two more, Joe lined his cock up with Mikey's ass, but suddenly was hit with a wave of insecurity.

"I've, uh..." Joe muttered and ran a hand through his hair, "I've uh...never done this with a guy before."

"Like, it's the same basic concept, Joey..." Mikey giggled. "Just go with the flow...I promise you I can take it!" The twink wink and wiggled his ass cheeks. "Guess it's my turn to teach you something...let's see how quickly you learn, huh?"

Joe smirked down at Mikey, his confidence restored. And then, moving slowly but deliberately, his slipped his cock into Mikey's ass.

"Shit...shit, Mikey!" Joe yelled once his dick was fully buried into Mikey's ass, "Fuck...fuck, you're so tight! Tighter than...any girl...I've ever had...fuck..!" As Joe spoke, he started to thrust, lightly at first, but quickly picking up steam, into Mikey's ass.

"So...I've been told..." Mikey mumbled breathlessly between moans as the jock fucked him.

"Mmm..." Joe moaned as he continued railing the twink. Fuck. He loved the feeling of Mikey's ass cheeks bouncing as he thrusted into them. He reached around with his left hand and rubbed it up and down Mikey's chest and abdomen. He loved how slender Mikey was, how all the twink's weight seemed to be concentrated in his thighs and ass. With his other hand, Joe reached down and started to jerk off Mikey's tiny dick. He loved that, too - how small Mikey's fucking dick was, especially compared to his own.

"Joey..." Mikey breathed, his breath hitching as Joe jerked his tiny shaft. Bent over as he was, the twink somehow managed to twist his head back to stare back at Joe and with that, the two had locked lips again, tonguing each other in time with Joe's thrusts. "I...I think I'm close, Joey..."

Joe smirked and started to piston into Mikey faster, harder. "You like that, huh?" Joe teased. He was still working Mikey's small cock with one hand and he'd set his other hand to work tweaking one of the twink's rosy nipples. "You like it...when a real man...shows you a good time?"

"Fuck..." Mikey muttered, "Fuck...Joey!" Mikey yelped and a moment later, Joe felt the warm, familiar feeling of come oozing over his right hand. Not wasting a beat, he lifted his hand up to Mikey's mouth. "You fucking slut...look at the mess you've made. Clean it up." Joe ordered.

Staring briefly at Joe through lidded eyes, Mikey eagerly accepted Joe's fingers into his mouth, slurping greedily as he cleaned Joe's hand of his own come. "Mmm..." the twink nearly purred, reveling in post-orgasm bliss.

And that was what finally sent Joe over the edge. Seeing the twink in the palm of his hand, so obedient, as he continued to plow into Mikey's pillowy ass cheeks...

"Shit..!" Joe exclaimed, feeling himself come, long and hard, into the twink. Though he couldn't see, he knew he was sending ropes and ropes of come up into Mikey's ass. "Fuck..." Joe muttered as his orgasm finally started to subside.

Then he and Mikey were just standing there, breathing heavily. Joe was still clutching the twink, almost protectively, as his dick started to deflate within Mikey's ass. The two just stood there for a few moments more, letting the water from the shower spigot run over them, as they soaked in their respective afterglows.

And then Mikey turned to look at Joe. The twink was grinning cheekily. "So...when do you think you'll be ready for round 2?" he asked.

At that, Joe's dick twitched, already coming back to life.

=======

The shower room was filled with giggling.

"No, I mean it!" Mikey squealed, lightly slapping Joe on one of his pecs, "I have never been dicked down like that in my life, Joey! Where did you lean to do that one thing...?"

Joey smirked. And then he giggled again, before dipping down to kiss Mikey. He'd fucked the twink another two times and only now were they finally winding down for real.

"I guess you could say I learned a lot at cAMP ONE summer..." he flirtily replied, then cleared his throat. "Huh. That's weird. First time my voice has CRACked in a while..." The jock cleared his throat again.

Mikey was smirking back up at the jock as the two stood closely. The blond twink was idly drawing a circle with one of his fingers around one of Joe's nipples. "Weird! But...I'm sure it will sort itself out very soon, babe." The twink then gave Joe a pat on the ass. "In the meantime...since you've stolen my speedo, why don't you run along and get me my clothes from my locker, huh, doll? It's not locked, number 33."

Joe watched as Mikey's eyes roved down and over his body. After their last fuck, Joe had initiated a game of keep-away with the twink's hot pink speedo. Eventually, he'd pulled on Mikey's speedo and dared the blond to take it away. Mikey had relented at that point, but mostly because he was laughing so much at how ridiculous the jock looked in his speedo. His ass cheeks were hanging out in the back and the pouch was way too small. Even after cramming his dick into the pink material, the tip was still poking out of the top.

"Like, sure thing, babe!" Joe chirped, then paused and blinked. "Uhh...I mean, sure thing, Mikey. Give me just a sec."

Sauntering out of the shower room, Joe found that it was only a short walk to locker #33. Yanking it open, Joe grabbed the shorts and tank top inside and was about to close the locker when his eyes caught on something that had been under the clothes. Joe opened the locker back up.

Shoved all the way into the back of the locker was a phone...presumably Mikey's.

Joe hesitated. Tentatively, he activated the touchscreen and was shocked to see the screen light up as the home screen appeared.

"Shit...no passcode or anything? C'mon, Mikey..." Joe muttered, then hesitated again. Looking quickly back to shower room, with his curiosity getting the better of him, Mikey tapped on the Photos app.

"Hmm...cute..." Joe muttered, scrolling back through several of Mikey's recent photos. Most were selfies, though there were a few group shots of Mikey with a few other twinks Joe recognized from around the pool. Joe nearly gasped when he saw a picture of himself appear. He was standing poolside, looking glumly out into the distance. "Shit, a creep shot? When did that little fucker take this?" Joe mumbled, though he was grinning despite himself.

Backing out of the Photos app, Joe nearly set the phone back into the locker, but suddenly, the Instagram app caught Joe's eyes. Thinking that he'd already gone this far, Joe went ahead and opened it. "Mike Bailey...?" Joe said aloud, his brow furrowing at the choice of user name. He'd never asked for Mikey's last name, he suddenly realized, but he'd also never heard the twink refer to himself as Mike before. Curious, Joe tabbed over to the profile page and scrolled down to Mikey's most recent pic.

And then, all at once, Joe's blood ran cold. Staring back up at him from the screen was someone who didn't look like Mikey at all. This guy was buff, built pretty similarly to Joe. Though as Joe kept looking at the pic, he couldn't help but feel that there was something about this guy's face that was similar to Mikey's.

The blond jock in the photo was smiling cockily into his mirror as he posed in an orange speedo that showed off his decently sized cock. Feeling the cold seeped further into his veins, Joe scrolled down to check the picture's caption:

BaileyBro69 All ready to work as a lifeguard this summer!! Gonna score some hot chicks, no doubt! 😎

Joe kept staring down at the picture. There's no way. No way this could be Mikey. And yet...Joe's eyes drew upward to the phone the blond jock was holding when he took the picture. Then he turned the phone in his hand over to look at the back.

No question about it - they were the same phone. Which meant...

"Joey?" Mikey's voice called out from the shower room, "Somesing wrong...?" Joe tensed up.

And just like that, the spell was broken.

A moment later, the blond twink poked his head out from the shower room. "Joey..?" the twink called.

But Joe was gone.

Thursday:

Joe was curled up along the floor in the showers of the locker rooms, sitting nearly in a fetal position.

"Why the fuck did I come back...?" he whispered to himself.

After fleeing the pool yesterday, Joe had ran home to his apartment, intent on telling Dylan to fuck off and that he wasn't coming back to this fucking fag pool. He'd even texted Dylan that much, though his friend never responded to him. He didn't want to check his friend's socials. After yesterday, he...was afraid of what he might see.

And then there had been everything else. Little things Joe was noticing about himself that...worried him. The way he'd gone through his closet last night, suddenly feeling disgusted with all of the hoodies and workout clothes he owned. The way he'd walked to his apartment door to pick up his Postmates order, noticing halfway there how he'd been swinging his hips and holding his wrists out like limp noodles. The way he'd tried to jerk off to girls on a porn site last night...but every time he closed his eyes, he saw that fucking fag, Mikey.

The way that his voice was still cracking, even more than yesterday.

Then, this morning, almost like he was moving on autopilot, he got up. He pulled on Mikey's disgusting pink speedo - it was the only one he had now. For some reason, he hadn't been able to throw it out yesterday. And then...he'd come into the pool, straight into the locker rooms, where he'd been ever since. Try as he might to will himself to leave, it was like Joe was rooted to the spot.

Waiting...for something.

"Joey...?" a voiced called and Joe looked up to see Mikey sashaying toward him. Missing his trademark pink speedo, today Mikey was wearing an orange one that was stretched tightly over his ass, yet baggy in the front.

Joe chuckled in spite of himself. As if he needed any more proof at this point.

"Stay...the fuck away..." Joe muttered, making the twink pause in his advance. "I...don't fuckin' know how...but I know there's something fucked up about this place...shit..." Joe was breathing heavily now. Maybe it was from the hit of adrenaline that shot through him when Mikey appeared...but at the same time, Joe couldn't deny it. Each second Mikey was near him, Joe felt himself growing hornier for the little fag.

Mikey sighed.

"And we were making such progress, Joey!" the twink pouted.

"Find...someONE ELSE...to be your fucking...swim teacher..." Joe growled, though he was undercut by the unfortunate timing of his voice cracking again.

Now, Mikey giggled. "Oh, Joey..." Mikey smiled sweetly, "That's not the progress I'm taking about, sweety!" The blond twink giggled again. "Like, I already know how to swim, you big dummy! But I'm sure you know that now...I mean, I used to have your job and everything!"

Joe eyed the twink warily. "What...the hell HAPpened to you..?" he asked, reaching down to palm his cock. Fuck...he was getting hard.

"You know, I'm fuzzy on the details..." Mikey said, tapping his chin with an index finger, "All I remember is that I was so excited starting this job! I thought I was going to get to fuck alllll the girls!" Mikey scowled and made a gagging sound.

"Gross, right? But then...I met AJ..." Mikey trailed off, blushing, "He was a fag...but like, I dunno! He just drove me wild!" Mikey giggled. "I remember feeling sad, though..." Mikey paused, looking dejected for a moment. "AJ was so cute and I was so big and bulky...I wanted to be cute just like him!" Mikey brightened. And then we were fooling around one day...and poof! Like, my wish was totally granted!"

"That doesn't MAKe any FUCking sense!" Joe yelled. He was starting to get pissed off but was still rooted to the floor.

"Like, chill, Joey!" a new voice suddenly chimed in, "Maybe there's something in the water? Or maybe it's just the universe's way of getting rid of you dumb, useless jocks!"

Grinning, Mikey turned and Joe followed his gaze to see two other twinks walking up: a smirking redhead and a brown-haired twink who was carrying a volleyball and eyeing Joe intently.

A,Joe narrowed his eyes. Something about these fags were familiar to him...

"AJ!" Mikey squealed and latched onto the redheaded twink, "Babe, it's been a minute...we need to catch up!"

"We sure do, you little slut!" the new twink, AJ, teased Mikey, "I see you've been busy...but what the heck, babe? You didn't finish the job...sooooo, we've come to help you out!" AJ turned to smirk at Joe.

"AJ..." Joe muttered. Then his eyes widened. "You...you're THAt fucKIN' fag that was FOLLowing Dylan around! What the FUCK did you do to him?!"

AJ gigled. "See for yourself!" he laughed, raising a limp wrist toward the other new twink, whose eyes were glued to the floor. Joe turned to look at the brunet, his eyes widening. Fuck, no, it couldn't be...

But it was. It was Dylan...or what was left of him, anyway. His friend looked about 5 years younger and all the muscle he'd gained over the years from hitting the gym had melted away. The former jock had gotten about a foot shorter and his dick...shit. The newly minted twink's dick, if he even still had one, had been reduced to a tiny mound bulging in his red speedo. Fuckin' micropenis it was now or some shit. Joe winced as he noticed this. His friend had always been so proud of his 8-incher.

"Dill is for sure one horny little guy, I can tell you that!" AJ quipped, as he moved to lean on Joe. "Bitch started making moves on my sister and I just couldn't stand for that!" AJ winked down at Joe. "Really didn't take much convincing, though, for him to decide to screw me instead!"

Mikey and AJ erupted into a fit of giggles on either side of Dylan - or Dill, now - who was staying quiet and still looking down at the floor.

"Fuck, he had such a big cock, too..." AJ chirped, before reaching down to grope Dill's tiny dick through his speedo, "I will miss that about you, Dill! But other than that, such an improvement!"

Dill moaned as AJ continued fondling his cock and soon DIll's tiny hard-on was tenting the front of his speedo.

"Fuck, FUCk, fuck..." Joe muttered, the panic starting to set in. "DYlan...fuck, bro! I fuckING told you! We NEVer should've stayed here, DUDe! But we did and NOw you're a...a..."

"I'm a fucking fag, Joey!" Joe's friend suddenly shouted, looking up for the first time to glower down at the jock, "...And btw? It's Dill now, babe. And one thing I am NOT going to do today ith have you look down at me after your little fuckfest with Mikey?" Dill puffed out his waif-life chest and smirked, "Not as thtraight ath you thought, huh?"

"Shit...no, I...I'm not a fag..." The jock mumbled unconvincingly.

In response, Dill only leaned down and bent Joe's knees open so that all present had a full view of the jock's crotch. Just a couple of minutes around these twinks and he'd already sprung up to full-mast. His big dick was tenting Mikey's tiny pink speedo nearly to bursting. "Don't...please, DYLan...bro, you don't HAVe to do this," he pleaded, noticing the hungry look that had appeared in his friend's eyes when he'd caught sight of Joe's meat.

"Do what..?" Dill asked, feigning innocence. He reached down with one hand and fished Joe's cock out of the speedo. He stroked the cock once, twice...then gave it a playful little slap, giggling as it bounced back and forth. "Oh, this...?"

"Mmm...!" Joe moaned and without thinking, opened his legs wider, giving the twink easier access to his package.

"Or oh, maybe this?" Dill quipped again and this time he crawled down onto the floor, sidling right up to Joe's cock with his face. The twink winked at Joe before proceeding to work the jock's cock over with one lazy lick, from the base to the tip.

"Shit..!" Joe gasped. Fuck. He'd NEVER felt this horny before in his life. But these fucking twinks had him panting like he'd just ran a fucking marathon.

"Now, that's enough of that, Dill!" AJ chimed in suddenly, kneeling down to place a hand on Dill's shoulder. The redheaded twink was smirking at Joe. "You heard your 'bro'...he doesn't wanna play with us. We might as well head back to the pool..."

Joe's breath hitched. He eyed AJ warily. Would they really let him go..?

"Aww..." Dill bemoaned. The brown-haired twink gave Joe's dick a playful smooch before standing back up. "I really wanted a better taste, too..."

"You...you're not going to turn me into a fag..?" Joe asked weakly.

"Thilly Joey..." AJ giggled before smiling sweetly down at Joe. "Don't you get it? You're already a fag, thweetheart."

Then the three twinks turned to sashay away. Joe's eyes were drawn to their asses, their plump cheeks swaying back and forth as they walked away.

And then, just as they'd nearly gone...that was when Joe nearly fucking erupted with need.

"W-wait!" Joe yelled, causing the twinks to pause and turn back. Fuck. What was he doing? "You...you can't LEAve me like this!"

"Fuck me..." Joe groaned, briefly covering his face with his hands, "FUCK me, you're fucking RIGht, okay?! I...fuck! I've NEVer been this fuckiNG hard! You're right! OKay?! You win...I'm a fucking fag!"

Joe's eyes widened and he reached a hand up to clutch at his throat. His voice had been cracking like hell, but as he'd said that last part, it had stopped...but only after violently ratcheting up in pitch.

"Wha..." Joe chirped in his new, higher voice, massaging his throat briefly before refocusing on the twinks. All three were grinning at him with Cheshire grins. "Ahh...fuck it! Get over here, you sluts!" The jock giggled, happy his voice was no longer cracking.

Wasting no time, Dill sprang into action. The twink nearly dove onto the floor to reclaim his space between Joe's legs. "Mmm," Joe moaned at the feeling of Dill's soft lips enveloping his cock, "Fuck, Dill..."

As Dill worked Joe's cock over with his mouth, the jock started to run his hands over his thick chest, tweaking his nipples. Idly, Joe had the idea of twisting Dill around and fucking him...but oddly enough, he didn't find the idea very appealing.

"Aww, looks like Joey's finally learning to be thubmithive!" Mikey lisped. After Dill had started sucking on his meat, he'd almost forgot about these other two. By the look of things, though, they were getting ready to join in on the fun. Both twinks had stripped out of their speedos and were lightly jerking themselves, working themselves up to hard. Like Mikey, AJ had a smooth crotch and looked to be lucky if he was 3 inches hard.

"Heya, booooys~" Joe smiled flirtatiously and reached his arms out to the two masturbating twinks, "Why don't you come lemme have a taste?"

Mikey and AJ obliged, moving in close and standing on either side of Dill, still slurping away between Joe's legs. Positioned as they were, their tiny dicks were just about eye level with Joe, who'd begun eyeing them greedily. Like a starving person, the jock suddenly lunged forward with his head and swallowed Mikey's cock with his mouth.

"Mmm...!" Mikey moaned, swinging his hips forward slightly to give Joe better access, "Like...you're really good at this, Joey!" Not missing a beat, Joe swung his head round and started eagerly licking on AJ's dick.

"Hehe..!" the redheaded twink panted as he smirked down at the jock, "Looks like...you're a natural born cocksucker, Joey!" Both AJ and Mikey giggled, but Joe hardly heard them. He was focused on working himself into a rhythm. He'd tongue AJ's cock for a few seconds, then switch to Mikey's...then back to AJ's and so forth. He used his arms to bring the two twinks in even closer and reached back to play with their plump bottoms as his tongue continued to dart back and forth. All the while, Dill kept working Joe over down below.

Just when Joe felt like he was getting really into it, he felt Mikey's cock give a sudden twitch. The jock didn't know how he knew to do this, but suddenly he stopped blowing the twinks and opened his mouth in anticipation.

"Hnngh..." Mikey moaned and gave his dick one or two final jerks before he blew his load all over Joe, shooting rope after rope of come onto the jock's face, into his open mouth, and also down onto his chest and stomach.

"Mmm...so good..." Joe said, licking his lips and relishing the taste of Mikey's come. It was almost sweet, like vanilla or whipped cream. As he savored Mikey's flavor, Joe rubbed the goo that had landed on his chest into his skin like a lotion.

And that's when the changes started to come hard and fast!

FLOOMPH!

Joe nearly gasped at the sudden sensation as his pecs pulsed and drew inward. Their heft seemingly teleported to his ass, which Joe felt surge outwards. Staring down at his stomach in growing horror as his abs popped out of existence one by one, replaced

"Wh-what happened to my pecsth?!" Joe squeeked, grasping at his chest, searching desperately for any trace of muscle.

"Silly Joey..." AJ managed a giggle between pants, as he, too, jerked himself to a near climax, "Twinks don't need pecs! They need...big butts...and...agh!" With that the redheaded twink came, shooting ropes of come onto Joey just like his blond companion had done. And despite his shock, Joe found himself eagerly opening his mouth again.

'Mmm...' Joe thought to himself as he gulped down AJ's seed, his eyes closing in bliss. Strawberry flavor this time.

SHUMPH!

Again, that sudden sensation of drawing inward, except this time Joe felt...smaller. He opened his eyes to see Mikey and AJ smirking down at him, though weirdly the two twinks seemed further away. In an instant the jock had lost a foot of height. He hadn't realized it yet, but his broad shoulders had also drawn inward. Joe held one arm out in front of him, relieved to see that at least his arms hadn't changed.

FLOOMPH!

Or so he'd thought! Before his eyes, Joe saw his biceps deflate, leaving his outstretched arm nothing more than a twig.

"Mmm..." Joe moaned, feeling the mass from his arms relocate...settling this time into his thighs, which bulged out in proportion to his new ass.

"Nearly there now..." AJ chimed in, "You ready to bring him over, Dill?"

In response to AJ's question, Joe looked down toward Dill. His friend had been diligently blowing Joe this whole time, but AJ's question had made the brunet twink pause. As he pulled his mouth off Joe's dick, a part of Joe sighed in relief to see that his dick was unchanged, at his normal seven and a half inches.

"Y'know...he was kind of an ass to me earlier..." Dill mumbled, idly tapping Joe's dick back and forth with his index finger. Suddenly, the twink smirked. "I kinda wanna make him work for it!"

"What...the fuck? What does that mean?" Joe squeaked. Just being around the three twinks was causing his cock to ache with need.

"You got a hand," Dill giggled and winked at his friend, "Use it!"

"But know this, Joey..." AJ interjected ominously, "Once you come...there won't be any coming back for you!"

Joe gave the three twinks a dumbfounded look for a moment. Then he chuckled darkly. "I...I'm not a fag..." Joe mumbled, but found himself reaching down and wrapping a hand round his dick despite himself. His dick felt so big...even more so now that his hands were small and feminine. Slowly, but with growing intensity, Joe started to jerk himself.

"...not a fag..." Joe mumbled. He tried to imagine some girls sucking him off, but his mind kept going back to Dill and the image of the former jock encircling his cock with his plump lips. In his hand, his dick twitched...then shrank, drawing inward by around half an inch.

"...not a fag..." he mumbled again. Now he was thinking of Dill, as his friend used to be, broad-shouldered with a monster dick. And he thought of the old picture of Mikey, when he'd still been big and manly. In his mind, Joe saw himself getting spit-roasted by the two hunks, greedily devouring their big dicks from both ends. His own dick twitched again...and shrank again, this time by a full inch.

"...not...a fag..." Joe mumbled yet again, between pants. He could feel himself getting close. Now he was remembering Allie Reynolds, the head cheerleader from his high school days, how he'd felt up her tits before railing her the night of the regional championship game...but wait, that's not right, is it? And just like that, Joe's memories were shifting. He still remembered that night, how Alex Reynolds, the quarterback, had been on the outs with his girlfriend after she's caught him cheating. He remembered the jock bending him over under the bleachers, desperate for a hole, and remembered himself all too willing to be of service. As all of Joe's heterosexual memories shifted into gay ones, his dick twitched and shrank yet again, this time by a whopping three inches.

"...not-" Joe started to mumbled again, before inhaling sharply, "Oh...oh, gawwwwd..!" Joe panted femininely, "I..I am thuch a FUCKING FAG!!" And then Joe was coming, thick ropes spiraling out of his now 3-inch dick. Like tigers, the three twinks quickly leapt down toward Joe's crotch, where they greedily slurped up his milky seed. As they did, Joe saw that they changed, too - or at least, Mikey and Dill did. As Mikey gobbled down Joe's come, the blond twink's thighs were growing ever so slightly. And Dill - Joe's friend had practically been a twig, but now his ass was growing, stretching out the rear of his red speedo.

The sight of his friend's growing ass sent Joe fully over the edge and he came one last rope before slumping back against the wall and closing his eyes. He felt completely spent. He imagined himself falling back into a fluffy, pink cloud. He felt...

"Feeling better, Joey?" a voice asked, and Joe could tell from the tone that the voice was smirking. AJ. Joe took a couple of deep breaths, still panting as he came off the high of his orgasm. "Joey?"

...

Joey opened his eyes, and giggled.

Friday:

"Fuck.." Dallas cursed to himself as he gave himself a quick rinse in one of the pool's outside showers. As he dud so, he adjusted his cock in the tight, green speedo that he had to wear for some fucking reason.

He hated the feeling of chlorine in his hair. But more than that, he was starting to hate this fucking pool! No one had told him that it was fag season at this pool. And why the fuck had they been so insistent he start on a Friday?

"All this shit better be worth it for 18 bucks an hour..." Dallas muttered. Suddenly, Dallas heard the sound of someone clearing their throat behind him and he turned to see a trio of fags smiling up at him, a redhead with a blond standing to his right and a brown-haired guy to his left.

"You're...the new lifeguard, right?" the redhead asked, cocking his head to the side. "O-M-G! Like, I'm so glad you're here! The last lifeguards quit all of a sudden! I'm so glad they were able to get someone here today so the pool could be open!" The redhead clasped his hands together before giggling, his two faggy friends following suit.

"Uhh, right..." Dallas muttered, trying to think of some reason to excuse himself. "Well, hard to pass up a job that pays this much, y'know?" 'Last guys probably got scared off by all the fags,' Dallas thought to himself, 'Can't say I blame 'em...'

"Oh!" the redhead twink exclaimed suddenly, "You'll need your whithle, though, if you're the lifeguard! I think they have a thpare in the locker room!"

"Uhh, cool!" Dallas replied, already starting to saunter off, "I better go grab that! Thanks!"

'Score,' Dallas thought to himself, smirking as he jogged off to the locker room, 'Fags gave me a reason to slip away!"

As he headed over to the locker room, though, Dallas couldn't help but feel...watched. So many fags at this pool and each time he passed one, they'd just...look up at him and giggle. It was starting to give him the fucking creeps.

And then, Dallas wasn't sure why, but just as he was about to head into the locker room, he turned and looked back toward where he'd come from, near the opposite side of the pool.

The three twinks from before were still standing right where Dallas had left them. All three were still looking at Dallas.

And they were smiling.

Feeling a shiver go down his spine, Dallas quickly ducked into the locker room. Inside, he leaned against the wall and ran his hands down his face.

"Y'know, what? Fuck this," he muttered, starting to head off to the locker where he'd stashed his clothes, "Something about this place...reeeally weird fuckin' vibes, man, I gotta-"

Joe turned the corner, stopping suddenly when he heard a gasp. Ahead of him, sitting a bench mid-selfie, was...another fag, blond with longish hair.

"Oh!" the twink exclaimed before standing up in a rush, "Thorry, am I in your way?"

"Uhh..." Dallas mumbled. For some reason, it was like he was rooted to the spot all of a sudden. He couldn't take his eyes off the twink in front of him. "Uh...I'm Dallas! I'm, uh...the new lifeguard." Dallas' eyes widened as he said that last bit. Why the fuck had he told this little fag his name?

"Oh, the new lifeguard!" the twink was beaming up at Dallas now, "Nith to meet you!" The twink's smile widened even further. "I'm Joey. Uh...I'm a bit embarrassed to ask, but...ith there any way you would be able to teach me how to thwim?"

Dallas was taken aback. By the little fag's audacity, but also by the look the twink was giving him. The twink was still smiling, but there was something behind his eyes...a hunger, almost.

"I-" Dallas began, but stopped short at the sudden feeling of his dick twitching to life in his speedo, "I..." the jock tried again, his voice wavering. He looked down, shocked and embarrassed to see his cock beginning to tent the green material of his speedo.

Across from him, Joey giggled.

"No worries, Dallas!" the twink chirped, walking up to link arms with the Dallas, "Happens to the best of us! I'm sure you'll feel much more...at ease after you've had a week at the pool!"

#twinkification #jock to twink #jock to twink tf #gay tf #straight to gay tf #muscle loss tf

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cinnamonest · 3 years

Text

Since people actually liked it here's the continuation of the modern Xiao camgirl!darling post I cut from the original, as promised, most if it's under a cut. Here’s the original post. I didn’t think people would actually like the camgirl concept so I thought I was rambling too much and cut this part out lol but here it is now!

Tws: derogatory language/female slurs, mentions of reader being a cheater, reader is promiscuous, murder, incel-y mentality (our modern boy would be a 4chan user, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong) and mentions of upsetting realistic things, this one's darker than the first part. If you're bothered by other modern stuff for being too realistic best avoid this too probably, involuntary pornography ---------- Coming up on one year since you gained your most loyal subscriber, you get a rather... Unsettling request. He has something he would like this month, in fact, he adds a few hundred to the regular amount (he's been saving up just for this) and asks for just the answer to one simple question. What's your name?

Your real name, he clarifies. He doesn't need a last name, nothing like that. It would just... Make him feel closer to you. He avoids using the term "anniversary," even though that's what comes to mind. He also doesn't tell you that he already knows, that this is just a test of your honesty. For someone who's so cautious, you would think you would think to give a fake name whenever you go to coffee shops for them to yell out, or change it on the packages you get. You hesitate. And it would be easy to give him a fake one, yet, you don't really think about it too much, you kinda think about that as an afterthought, what you should have done, but your very real name is typed out and sent before you really process it, and you feel a sort of unease, but it's already sent. No big deal. He can't do much with just your first name, right? If your name is common, you feel pretty safe, but even if it's a rarer one, surely there are other people with it, right? He's happy though. Kinda surprised, really, that you didn't lie to him. Maybe you trust him?

You're not stupid, you know something is wrong, you're becoming paranoid. And you connect the weird feeling to him, bc he goes radio silence for several days leading up to finally taking you. This dude who used to respond to any messages you sent within 10 seconds suddenly... It's like he disappeared? He hasn't responded to anything you send him ever since you said your name. You send him messages saying you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried... The way you word it makes it sound like you're worried about him, but you both know that's not what you really mean. You're hesitant and suspicious of every guy you meet. You buy pepper spray and start carrying some around, you nearly spray a poor guy who you thought was trailing you, turns out he just lives in your building. He makes note of it. He watched you buy it, and is quick to realize you always hold it in the same hand. That must be your dominant hand, that's an important mental note for the future, since you're more likely to try to attack him with that hand. He'll remember. He has a note in his phone with information like that. Height, weight, birthday, social security number, parents' names, school she graduated from. All in little bullet points. He adds dominant hand to the list. He's not worried at all really. Already watched you struggle to carry packages he could lift with one hand, your strength doesn't cross his mind as a threat. At first he just doesn't know what to say, and that's why he stops responding, he feels too awkward but... He starts to enjoy the weird feeling of power the whole situation is giving him. You're worried, you're constantly paranoid, and it's because of him. Now you finally understand the same feeling you inflict on him, how you consume his thoughts every waking moment of every day. It used to irritate him that you held so much power over him, while he meant nothing to you. Now, the tables have turned. You're forced to have him constantly in your mind, whether you like it or not, just like you are in his. It's giving you what you deserve. It gives him a feeling of significance. He matters, even if it's not in a good way. And he keeps telling himself that once he's all you have, he'll matter even more. He's smart enough to realize that if you're paranoid, you might have mentioned him by username to someone else, so to ensure he knows what to do from this point, he has to sneak into your apartment at night as you sleep. It's so unbearably tempting, you have no idea -- you're right there and so vulnerable. He has to hold himself back because he knows that if he so much as touched you, he couldn't hold back. But it's torture, standing there so close, watching your chest rise and fall as he fiddles with the phone. Even when he unlocks it with your thumb, he tries to hold the phone from an angle to do so, even if the skin of his hand grazes yours, it would be too much. You have a lot of contacts across your messages and a bunch of different apps. You have one guy in your online chat you've exchanged far more messages with than anyone else! Hundreds upon hundreds of messages, and huge paypal cash drops, who the hell is -- oh, wait, that's him. Nevermind. But, to his pleasant surprise, he's the only one of your... customers that you regularly talk to, the rest just have a few paypal notifications or clarifications on your policies, but no actual conversations like you have with him. Of course, that's literally part of your deal, he's literally paying for it, but it makes him happy nonetheless. But as he goes through your personal messages, he finds that you are... in no shortage of options. Like, holy shit. It was kind of expected. You *are* really pretty, that's how you have so many followers after all, but this is a lot. So many contacts named some variation of "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "creepy guy that forced me to give him my number at the club", etc etc. Plenty of unsaved numbers texting you to never get a response. You've ghosted enough dudes to make your place haunted. It's... kinda awful, really. It also kinda hurts his heart a bit more than he expected. You have so, so, so many options, even without the cam thing, he's more insignificant than he even realized. ...Well, for now, at least. He'll be significant to you soon enough. And then you seem to have a sort of "boyfriend of the month" deal going on, aside from that. Plenty of male-name contacts whose last exchange is a "don't talk to me again!" message from you, plenty of messages corresponding to the same time as those to your girl friends about how you can't find a good guy and every relationship ends badly. How unfortunate. See, it's because you choose bad guys. You probably go for dicks and not.... well, he can't exactly pull the "nice guys like me" mentality, he doesn't delude himself into thinking he is one. He's lucid enough to realize that most nice guys would not be sneaking into your house and standing over your sleeping body to stalk your phone as they make plans to kidnap you. He knows he would probably fall under the classification of a creepy guy. He's just too far gone to care. Still, he would be so much better to you, he tells himself, not a cheater or a player like you complain about. To say he resents those kinds of guys -- ones that can do the unthinkable and actually talk to girls, let alone successfully, only to be assholes, and yet girls like you still go for them -- is an understatement. You're basically just a slut, you probably ignore all the guys that would be nice to you, just like all those internet forums he reads talk about. Typical.

Well, those forums also make fun of guys like him who pay for girls like you, but he can't blame them. It *is* kinda pathetic. There is one dude you talk to, though, now. Current boyfriend of the month, from the looks of it. You have a little heart emoji next to the name. He knows it's kinda pathetic that something so simple and insignificant sets him off, but it does, makes him pout and grind his teeth and curl his other hand into a fist. It's so unfair. Some dude you barely know gets to fuck you, and you haven't even known him nearly as long as you've known him! He doubts this dude -- hell, any of your boyfriends -- has put in the same amount of money that he has into you. They fuck you practically for free. And that, unfortunately for you, only solidifies his decision. If you're fucking some dude for a month because they buy you dinner every now and then, if we're going by that scale, then you owe him quite a good deal of pussy. Any hesitancy or guilt he had about the whole thing is gone. And he's a little mad. Keeps grumbling to himself that you're just a loose whore, fucking so many people and putting yourself out there on the internet. He wonders if they even know about what you do. Probably not, you probably don't tell them. Yeah, that sounds like what you'd do. Really, you're kinda lucky that someone like him is so willing to commit to you, since you are a slut. You don't deserve it, but he loves you anyway. And you'll probably have the nerve to be ungrateful for it too. Sigh. On the bright side, by some miracle, it would appear that you have not told any real-life people about him, you haven't sent out any hey if I disappear you should probably look into this creep type of messages. But he can't afford to have you doing so in between now and when you move in with him, so, he decides he has to act within the next 24 hours. While he's here, though, he decides to do a quick sweep of your place. Makes note of what snacks and drinks you like, what brand of toothpaste and shampoo and the like you use, so he can buy some for you. Maybe you'll adjust better if you have some of your favorite things. And then, after days of silence, he sends you a message, says it's fine, his internet went out for a few days. He means it to reassure you, but somehow it makes you feel more uneasy. He has everything planned out, or so he thinks. But you deviate from your usual schedule. When you leave work or class, you don't go home, you go somewhere else, first. How strange. Maybe picking up groceries? He follows from a distance. No, looks like you're going out to eat...? Maybe you're meeting friends or family or -- no that's a guy. Fuck. You must have planned this just earlier today, since there were no messages on your phone. It makes a bitter feeling rise in his gut. He hates that he can't get close enough to listen to your conversation. Well, he hates the whole thing, sits there and seethes the whole time. Watches you through the windows in the parking lot, thankfully you chose to sit outside. Feels his eye twitch and his hand clench every time you smile and laugh. It takes way too long. The fact that you split the bill feels like a punch to the stomach too. Shouldn't you be used to taking guys' money? Oh, and what's this...? This guy isn't the picture on boyfriend-of-the-month's contact. Well, well, well. You really are a whore. See, it's a very good thing he's taking you off the market. You're probably a reckless heartbreaker too. He's doing all the other men of the world a favor by taking on such a burden as you. And it makes him feel far more justified in keeping you locked away, since he has every reason to believe, now, that you'd run off and fuck someone else if given the chance. Halfway through, the guy briefly gets up and runs to the bathroom or something. While he's gone, he sees your face fall a bit. And then he sees you look around. You turn your head from one side to the other. Your eyes scan the area. You shuffle uncomfortably and you bite your lip and your eyebrows furrow. You're scared. You feel like -- no, you know you're being watched and it scares you. That makes him a little happy, for some reason. He wouldn't be sure what to do if you went home with the guy, but thankfully you don't. No big deal, this was just a bump in the road, he still beats you back to your building and he still goes through with the original plan. Even better, now that it's even darker outside. If anything, now he's got extra aggression and testosterone in his blood, running over the events in his head and going through some... very forceful and violent fantasies. The message he sent had you uneasy, and it's also how you immediately know what's going on when it does finally happen. You keep telling yourself you're being unnecessarily paranoid, that it's nothing, maybe that guy actually got his life together or got a girlfriend or something. Things like... What you fear, don't happen in real life, that's stuff that only happens in movies and stuff. You keep calling it that or it in your head. That won't happen to you. It's not going to happen. The series of events that play out in your head, scenarios you try to push out of your mind. Sure, in the movies it always takes place in the stairwell, but that's fiction, so you go up the apartment stairwell as always. You're not gonna let a bunch of B-grade old films scare you. And it's always some dude standing and waiting, but that nice young boy that you've never seen before is just leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone, he only glances up for a second as you pass by, he's not a threat, you're being paranoid. You flash a smile and a little wave as you walk by, he doesn't return either, just looks back down at his phone. See? This guy doesn't even care, you're being paranoid for nothing, you tell yourself. But as you make the turn to go up the next set of stairs you hear the click of a phone being put on the lockscreen, a few metallic footsteps ringing out in the open hall and echoing, coming up right behind you, but for that split second you expect a tap on the shoulder, maybe he has a question, it's not like movies, it's not like movies, you're not gonna get a cloth shoved over your face and--- Well, it's not exactly like the movies. You were prepared, but it all happens in one motion - one hand grabs the hand with the spray and twists it, making you drop it, the other wraps some material over your mouth. You were prepared enough that you don't gasp in surprise, you hold your breath and thrash, but it doesn't make any difference, you wiggle and writhe for a few moments but can't even begin to break free, eventually succumb to the lack of oxygen and take a deep breath. It takes a few seconds to settle in, it's not so immediate. You instinctively panic and thrash again, but he has a complete iron grip. The dizziness takes a second to set in. He huffs a bit in frustration and says stop moving, it's fine. It's definitely not, but it occurs to you that that's not something a kidnapper looking for any potential vulnerable girl says. It's a poor attempt at comfort. It's someone specifically looking for you. And if that wasn't enough, he says your name. Your very real name. Maybe it was a mistake to tell him after all. But the worst part of it all is that there's not a single doubt in your mind, even in your panic you have the realization, it's definitely him and this is literally exactly what you were afraid of. And it's the last thing that goes through your head. And once he's got you out cold he just takes a sigh of relief. He may have been very neutral faced to you, but in reality he was incredibly nervous. He hasn't exactly made or used chloroform before, our boy is operating on YouTube tutorials here. He's got adrenaline pumping through his veins and carries you with his arms trembling. He's on autopilot carrying you out, but his mind is also consumed by holy fuck I'm touching her she smells so nice she's so warm her face is so close I'm actually touching her-- you get the idea. He feels bad about taping your hands and feet together and putting you in the trunk of his car, kinda. It feels too much like what a really bad person would do to a girl they didn't care about, like he's a trafficker or a murderer or a criminal or something, but that's not true at all. Sure, he's still mad at you for being a whore and all that, but it feels improper, he just has no choice. It's late at night, but he can't risk getting pulled or being at a stoplight and someone seeing an unconscious girl in his backseat, so, trunk it is. But once he's home, to his tiny little downtown apartment (he'll probably be able to move into a better place soon, since he's not paying you tons of money anymore), he takes a quick check to make sure the coast is clear, and drags you out, up the stairs, all the way into his apartment, sets you down on the bed, where you'll be staying. He even washed the sheets and cleaned the place up a bit for your arrival. You probably would not like to see what this place looked like before the five trash bags worth of cleaning was done. He'll probably be more motivated in the future, though, since now he won't be so depressed all the time. And then the adrenaline of the fear of being seen is over, and that's when it sets in that this is real. It's very, very hard to hold back. You're real, in the flesh, he can reach out and touch you with his hands! It feels like a dream. And he realizes he can take this opportunity to do things he would be far, far too embarrassed to do when you're awake. He takes a few minutes to do just that, cautiously reaches out to poke your face, and then run a hand down your neck, your skin is so soft! Your hair smells so nice, he lays down beside you and runs his fingers over it. Puts hands on your body and just lays there in awe of the fact that you're real. He's pretty certain he's never actually touched a human female before now. Everything about you feels soft. Weirdly feminine, which is something very foreign and confusing to him. And he kinda uh... Loses it. Goes buckwild with just taking in every aspect of you. Again, since you're unconscious he can be gross and entirely shameless about it. Peels your clothes off and runs his hands and mouth over every inch of flesh, takes the tape off your lips and presses his tongue into your limp mouth until he's forced to let go to breathe, fingers you and tonguefucks you and sucks on your nipples and your neck. Lays pressed against you and just breathes in your scent. It takes every ounce of self control he has not to fuck you already. But he does jerk off a few times. That way he'll last longer, so it's a win-win. And then... you twitch. Tape goes back over your mouth. And then, you twitch again. And this time, you make a little "mm!" under the tape, you start trembling and he sees you try to pull your hands apart. You whimper. It sounds scared and distressed. He feels kinda bad, but it also makes him hard, and that outweighs any guilt by far. Besides, it's what you deserve after what you did earlier. You tortured him mentally, it's only fair. On the good side of things, you suppose, you don't have to worry about the usual fears one would have over such a situation - you're fairly certain he's not going to kill you, nor sell you. In fact, the bed you wake up on is pretty soft. You're naked and the tape is uncomfortable, but... At least he was considerate enough to give you a blanket. He does care about you, after all. First thing he says is asking if you're awake. Can you hear me? You hesitate a moment, and then you nod. He's a bit new to this whole abduction thing. He wants to make sure he didn't pull a muscle or something with the tape. So... Do you hurt anywhere? Does your head hurt? Oh, right, the tape. He's not stupid either. You have to promise you're not going to scream. In fact, he's angry enough about earlier that he gets a bit meaner than he originally told himself he'd be. If you scream, I'll make you regret it. Understand? You nod, so he takes it off, holding it close in preparation in case you were lying, but you don't actually answer him, you're silent again for a minute, then just ask a question of your own. You're that guy, right? He's silent for a few seconds, there's no need for any clarification. Finally just says yeah. You just breathe again. Silently. Finally you summon the courage to ask him what he wants with you. And why are you doing this to me? And his answer is fairly simple. What do you think? You don't say anything for a minute, and neither does he. He's not good with words, and you don't really have ones for this situation. It occurs to you that offering to pay him to let you go is probably not the solution. After all, this is the guy that's dumped unimaginable amounts of money onto you, you couldn't even come close to paying him back. You figure maybe, after he gets what he wants... well, you get the courage to ask. Is there anything... that I can do o-or... anything that will make you... are you gonna let me go, after you....? And the answer is, again, simple, but the one you did not want to hear. No. He's a blunt boy, so he doesn't beat around the bush, but he doesn't torment you by keeping anything from you. In fact, he's already rehearsed this speech a few hundred times in his head. He just wanted to make sure he's very clear so there's no misunderstanding, and while he likes some discomfort in a vengeful sort of way, he doesn't want you to be too freaked out to where you have a panic attack. He says he's just going to... keep you here. He has the things you'll need. He got your purse with your keys, so he'll even run to your apartment after this to go get some of your stuff. You don't need to tell him which number, he adds, he already knows which apartment you're in. He needs you here, he says. And he makes sure to add that it's your fault. If you were never out there selling yourself in the first place, this never would have happened. If you're good, he can make things a bit better for you. But you need to go ahead and accept that you're going to be staying and that no amount of begging or offers is going to convince him to let you go. He can be nice to you, he promises. A better boyfriend than the others. You just have to be a good girlfriend -- you know, obedient and sweet and do what he says. Just like you always were when you talked to him. Just keep being sweet like that and doing the things he tells you to do. You would argue that the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are not appropriate descriptors of the sort of relationship he's creating, but you keep that thought to yourself. Instead, you ask, How long are you going to keep me here? Which is a dumb question, since he's pretty sure he already made that clear. Forever. -----

There's a double homicide in the area. Takes place on the same night, and the same diameter of knife is used, so police believe maybe the two incidents are connected. Especially because they do have something in common, one girl. She was romantically involved with both of them. The girl in question's apartment has been vacated, very suddenly, and the girl has disappeared without a trace, taking things with her from the looks of it, so police believe she may be responsible, but other than that, they have no leads. A few weeks later, a video circulates all over the internet. Some famous camgirl finally started making porn, apparently. Just one video, but the description (which was totally written by her, it has to be since it's written in first person right?) says something about how she decided to quit camming, so this video marks the end of her career. She got into a relationship, so she says in the description, so she has to quit. It's roleplay porn, apparently, she's doing a good job at the acting. All tied up and gagged and getting fucked by some big-dicked guy holding the camera. He's silent, but she's making a ton of noise, cums several times. Really good acting, the fear and desperation in her eyes looks so real. Talk about going out with a bang. It gets a lot of likes. Tons of comments about how sad people are she's quitting. And of course, a lot of comments say, what a lucky guy.

#.camgirl

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lanarist · 3 years

Text

NSFW 18+ Plug! Dabi x Fem! Reader HC

a/n: first off, minors DNI. Second, this is my first time posting any of my writing on any platform. I have so much shit on Wattpad that just sits in the drafts. I am not confident enough to publish my shit writing. I’m shocked that i am even doing this. But I thought about this while breaking up 🍃🍃 for a blunt. I’ve seen so many hcs/Drabbles of stoner Dabi. ....but what about plug dabi

Also I want to mention that I do not condone drug use unless for medical reasons. it helps me with my extreme anxiety. literally saved me. And I 100% do not condone drug dealing. Just wanna throw that out there before you read.

a/n: this shit is SOOO long I’m sorry. I worked on this for like three days.

Summary: literally brain rot. Dabi being your plug HC.

Warnings: drug use, intercourse, dumbafication, oral (f receiving), sexual themes, mentions of alcohol.

I feel like you would probably meet him at some house party. Full of people drunk and/or high off of drugs that were given at the party, the supplier being Dabi for said drugs.

He immediately noticed you when you joined the circle of people passing blunts around, thinking you definitely did not belong here. You looked so innocent with those unsure doe like eyes when a random guy passes the blunt to you.

Gravely mistaken when he watches you puff that blunt like a champ, not coughing up a lung once and throwing back alcohol like it was water. Good girl on the outside but bad girl on the inside? Holy fuck he thought you were hot. He’s gotta get to know you.

After the smoke sesh, he would pull you aside to introduce himself just to get close to you.

Would definitely give you his number saying, “if you ever need anything, hit me up. I got whatever ya need, doll.”

Anytime you text him needing something, he would get so excited. He would drop whatever he’s doing. It don’t matter if he’s in the middle of a sell, dead asleep, at his part time job extra cash, or early in the morning. He’s gonna give you what you’re asking of him asap.

Definitely giving you discounts even on his best shit. Original price for 10 grams is $100? He’s giving it to you for $50.

Also would throw in extra without your knowledge. One time you noticed he gave you three extra grams and tried to give it back to him. “‘S okay. Just keep it, doll.”

Plug dabi would definitely get jealous if you bought anything from anyone else besides him. He will make sure to give you shit for that.

If he doesn’t have what you need at that moment. Baby, he’s going to make sure he gets it by any means necessary if it means he gets to see you for a few minutes.

Will always bring the drugs to you wherever you’re at. No matter how many times you’ve told him you’ll meet him somewhere or come to his place. He doesn’t wanna inconvenience you.

He would always look for you at parties. Once found, he’s dragging you away from everybody to a vacant room, outside, or to his car. He wants to smoke with you alone.

Loves when the smoke rolls smoothly out of your mouth after you inhale it. Thinks you look god damn sexy with the smoke floating around you and your low red eyes look fucking adorable.

If there’s something new you wanna try lsd or shrooms etc, he’ll offer to be with you and to stay sober incase you have a bad trip.

He knows he’s completely infatuated with you, but will not admit it to his friends. Especially Keigo. “You’re fucking whipped.” “Shut the fuck up, Keigo.”

Absolutely hates it when some random dude hits on you at parties or even stands close to you. He’s pulling you away to smoke.

Finally gets the balls to text you one night to smoke with him. “I got some good shit this time, doll. Wanna smoke it with me?”

When he gets to your house, he’ll already have the blunts rolled, a pipe, or anything you want ready for you.

Will hold the blunt to your lips when it gets too small. gets a boner feeling how soft they feel. He doesn’t want you to burn your pretty fingers.

Loves that you match his energy when it comes to smoking. No one has been able to smoke as much as he does like you do.

When he starts to notice the looks you’re giving him, the way your eyelashes bat at him and the lustful look in your eyes. He decides he can’t hold back anymore.

He’ll grab your chin with his thumb and forefinger to face him, softly blowing smoke onto to your lips as he stares at you. Will roughly pull you in closer to smash his lips against yours after the smoke disappears.

Gently pushes you to lay back on your bed so he can hover over you and rest himself between your legs.

No high from any drug could compare to the soft whimpers and moans leaving your lips when he pushes his hips into yours. It was fucking music to his ears.

Absolutely snaps when you tug on his white hair. He’s tearing yours and his clothes off now.

And don’t you dare try to cover that beautiful body of yours. “Don’t hide from me now, baby.”

He’ll start leaving marks on your neck, then down to your breast, taking extra time sucking, licking, biting, and kissing on them.

When he gets down lower on your body, he’s happy to set that you’re already soaking, showing that you wanted this as much as him. He’ll wrap his arms around your thighs, setting them over his shoulders and will go to fucking work on your pussy.

Swears that he could’ve came on the spot from the moans and whimpers leaving your lips. Especially the moan that you let out when he added two of his fingers into the mix.

Will make it a point to constantly praise you while his tongue makes you feel like you’re higher than cloud 9. “You taste so fucking good.” “God, so fucking beautiful.”

Will stop right before you cum. “Nah, baby. I want you cummin on my cock.”

After he’s got you all ready for him, baby you are in for it. He’s waited so long for this fucking moment. He ain’t holding back. He’ll grab your throat tightly as he seethes himself into you. You both gasp at the feeling of pure ecstasy.

Loves your fucked out face. Tongue lolled out. Tears brimming your eyes. Little bit of drool dripping of the corner of your mouth. Hair a complete fucking mess from the many times he’s pulled on it.

His stroke game? GODLY. He’s thrusting into you like a god damn rabbit but he’s hitting all of the right places and it feels so fucking good.

100% rough but his words are the opposite. “You’re taking my cock so well, doll.” “Look so beautiful while I’m fucking ya dumb.” has a degradation kink but that’s for another time.

Aftercare with Dabi is pure heaven. He’ll hand you his shirt from off of the ground for you to wear. He’ll clean you up, light up a blunt for you two, and cuddle you until you both fall asleep.

Oh and, you definitely getting shit for free for now on.

Tags: @bakugosbratx

#mha dabi #bnha dabi #dabi smut #dabi headcanons #dabi x reader #mha x reader #mha smut #touya todoroki #stoner dabi #bnha x reader #bnha smut #I’m actually posting this wtf #im so nervous wtf

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yemilnisu · 3 years

Text

INCORRECT HAIKYUU QUOTES FROM BUZZFEED UNSOLVED

nisu entries:

i got this idea from @memekingofwwiii and some of it are theirs 🙇🏻‍♀️ thank you for letting me add it here 😊 it’s a mixture from buzzfeed unsolved supernatural and true crime 👀 i really had fun doing this!

warning: swearing, mentions of death/murder/killing/blood/weed

「part 2」

Tendou: i did have a neighbor who had an overhang of a lime tree, and it was great because i could go pick a little lime.

Ushijima: did you ever think about killing your neighbor?

Tendou: when he didn't give me limes, yeah.

Ushijima: oh, okay; all right.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Matsukawa: this is my bridge now, if you want it back you’re gonna have to kill me.

Oikawa: he did throw someone off the bridge once.

Matsukawa: fuck you, goatman!

Oikawa: Jesus Christ.

Kunimi: *behind the camera snickering as mattsun taunts the goatman much to oikawa’s dismay*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Matsukawa: hey demons, it’s me, ya boi.

Matsukawa: if you want to eat my heart, turn that light on. If you want to eat oikawa’s heart, turn that light on...

Oikawa: don’t drag me into your shit, mattsun.

*torch turns on*

Oikawa: *screams*

Matsukawa: *laughs hysterically as he continues to lie on the pentagram*

Kunimi: *actual wheezing*

Matsukawa: i think this demon’s a wimp.

Oikawa: he’s out of his fucking mind.

Kunimi: *having the time of his life*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Oikawa: every human's capable of murder if you push them enough. i just don't know if this is enough of a push.

Iwaizumi: okay.

Oikawa: it's true!

Iwaizumi: is that so?

Oikawa: yeah.

Oikawa: i bet you you would murder me if I pushed you enough.

Iwaizumi: yeah, probably.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tsukishima: …

Tsukishima: so, you're telling me, at nine years old, you don’t go to church. the first time you cross the threshold into holy ground,

Nishinoya: *makes noise and imitates blood coming out of his nose*

Tsukishima: blood expels from your nostrils?

Nishinoya: yeah, yeah. they ran outta tissues! mopping that up.

Tsukishima: …

Nishinoya: it was wild!

Tsukishima: it sounds wild.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kuroo: i think it was the neighbor. look, i’m a simple man. i see a trail of blood going to someone's house. even if they didn't do it, come on; you're going to jail.

Kenma: i think it might've been a random person.

Kuroo: all right.

Kenma: it just seems too obvious.

Kuroo: okay.

Kenma: there's a paper trail of their feud. why the hell would he be that dumb?

Kuroo: rage, you know? lust, rage. rage just- just building up, bursting out.

Kenma: well, i've never really gotten that angry. i don't really have that capacity.

Kuroo: it's building. it's building inside you. everyone sees it; we all see it.

Kenma: that's great. oh man, i can't wait for krakatoa then.

Kuroo: *shuddering* oh- oh- i shudder.

Kenma: hope no one's in the way 😺

Kuroo: …

Kuroo: scary.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Daichi: he allegedly chased his mother with an axe when he was 19.

Asahi: not great.

Daichi: (wheeze) no? not off- off to a bad start?

Asahi: no good. i’ve never done that. you didn’t do that did you?

Daichi: no! i didn't- what- is there anything to suggest that I would chase my mom with an axe?

Asahi: (inhales) not outright i feel like if you peel the layers back.

Daichi: you think if you peel the layers back from this onion, you'll see something you don’t want to see?

Asahi: yeah. i think you wear a mask sometimes 😅

Daichi: mm-hmm i think you should keep digging and maybe see what happens 🙂

Asahi: uh no i'm good 🧍🏻‍♂️

Daichi: *staring at asahi*

Asahi: 👁👄👁💧

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Osamu: my takeaway is people from chicago are weird.

Atsumu: the- this does not represent chicago. this is people and go "ey! chicago tylenol murders"

Osamu: (laugh) home with the beam, the cubs and the chicago tylenol murders and of course our nation's greatest tragedy, miya atsumu.

Atsumu: that- that's not me.

Osamu: i read it somewhere 🤷🏻

Atsumu: no, you didn’t, you probably wrote it.

Osamu: yeah.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Suna: i’d love to be an heiress.

Kita: (snickers)

Suna: i know she’s probably gonna disappear or something.

Kita: so you wanna be a trust fund baby?

Suna: i’d like someone to give me a lot of money for doing nothing. but i want-

Kita: and then you wanna disappear?

Suna: yes. i want to get a lot of money and then vanish from the face of the earth.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Ennoshita: her family believed that when she left at 11:30 am, she had as much as $30 in her purse, which in today’s dollars would be more than $750.

Nishinoya: holy moly!

Tanaka: that’s a lot of quiche—

Nishinoya: yeah.

Tanaka: that’s a lot of quiche.

Nishinoya: thirty bucks going that far in 1910.

Tanaka: i don’t even have $750 in my bank account.

Nishinoya: i’ve never had $750 in my pocket! i rarely have had $30 in my pocket.

Ennoshita: well i don’t really carry cash anymore-

Nishinoya & Tanaka: who does!?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Yaku: stop number one, mothman statue.

Lev: it looks very ornate.

Yaku: *shocked that lev knows that word*

Yaku: you’ll be able to stare at it eye to eye.

Lev: what’s that supposed to mean?

Yaku: it means you’re eight feet tall, it’s a tall joke. get it?

Lev: 🧍🏼

Yaku: 🤦🏼‍♂️

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Akaashi: any... any thought in that so far?

Bokuto: (fart sound) nope. what year is it, ‘66?

Akaashi: ‘66.

Bokuto: few teens out there probably smoking a few funny cigarettes.

Akaashi: you could say weed. it’s 2018.

Bokuto: ...some grass.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kageyama: so my guess is the couples were somewhere around here, maybe on that road over there.

Hinata: yeah.

Kageyama: and i'm not sure of the exact location but this is where they saw him stumbling around.

Hinata: they just… saw him kinda shambling?

Kageyama: yeah.

Hinata: big shambling man. kinda *shuffling his body*

Kageyama: i- i don’t know, maybe he was just taking a walk, i mean, what's it to you?

Hinata: why would you take a walk if you had wings?

Kageyama: he's a fucking creature, he can do what he wants.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kuroo: but all im saying is that what you need to gather from this is that he has an effect on people's psyche.

Lev: this mothman's a complicated character.

Kuroo: what does he sound like? what does he sound like?

Lev: he sound like the blood bird.

Kuroo: …

Lev: flappy spookster.

Kuroo: …

Kuroo: that's- come on.

Kuroo: *glances over to lev's notes*

Lev: the winged wretch. did i already say that?

Kuroo: this just says fright terror.

Kuroo: *throws away the notes*

Lev: you know, just call him batman, why is that hard? 😩

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(howling)

Goshiki: what the fuck.

Shirabu: well those are coyotes… or dogs. Or a large pack of something.

Goshiki: holy shit.

Shirabu: just some coyotes.

Goshiki: are you not fucking alarmed right now?

Shirabu: are you scared? (laugh)

Goshiki: dude wait- this goes beyond belief, that was a pack of, whatever the fuck that was.

Shirabu: it was coyotes!

Goshiki: is that our cue to leave? i think maybe. we've been out here for quite a bit.

Shirabu: yeah, i don’t know if were gonna find anything tonight.

Goshiki: i don’t wanna be in the mouth of some coyote later, that's not how i want the picture wrap on old tsutomu to be.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Atsumu: air force one? they filmed air force one here?

Atsumu: air force one actually, now that i think of it, remember the reason they hijacked the plane is to release for the-

Sakusa: i’m gonna go ahead and cut you off right there 'cause i don’t give a shit.

Sakusa: we’re gonna move over here.

Atsumu: …okay.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kai: four people in a cell, that's a lot

Kuroo: i mean, you put any normal people in a room that's too small. like if you’re in a dorm in college, if you hate your roommate…

Kai: it's tough business

Kuroo: listening to music too loud when i'm trying to study

Kai: hwfrrrrr…

Kuroo: cookin' uhh… top ramen in the microwave when i'm trying to sleep

Kai: you got some axes to grind?

Kuroo: no.

Kai: oh

Kuroo: fuck you, daishou.

Kai: daishou?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(distant thud)

Yamamoto: what the fuck?

Kenma: :3

Yamamoto: is all i have to say to that.

Kenma: they didn’t like the thumb talk.

Yamamoto: you didn't like the thumb talk? was it too much thumb talk? i thought we went about two minutes long on the-

(distant thud)

Kenma: they don’t like the thumb talk.

Yamamoto: *looking around in shock*

Kenma: *stopping himself from laughing*

Yamamoto: uhhhh… holy fuck. holy fuck, holy fuck. if you’re one of the people that had that thumb thing to happen to you, that sucks. what was it like?

Kenma: what do you think you're gonna get right now? 😑

Yamamoto: i feel like we should go see what that is, to be honest.

Kenma: *shakes his head*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tsukishima: we’re walking over to the source of the disturbance.

Hinata: hello? (sigh) i’m gonna lose my mind. so, it did that twice within the span of 10 seconds but nothing else?

Tsukishima: but, we can confirm that it did sound like this right? *slams the cabinet door*

Hinata: yeah.

Tsukishima: that was the sound.

Hinata: do you think the wind’s gonna do that twice?

Tsukishima: *blows on the cabinet door*

Tsukishima: not moving 🙄

Hinata: well, shit.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sugawara: oh there it is. it’s that. *pointing to where the sound was coming from*

Asahi: what?

Sugawara: there’s a logical explanation for you.

Asahi: ah! okay, there it is. well, there you go, there you go.

Sugawara: but, if we hadn’t seen that...

Asahi: if we hadn’t seen that we would be fooled 😅

Sugawara: no, we wouldn’t have been fooled. you would have been telling me for months.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

*inside the prisoners of ohio state penitentiary*

Kageyama: this is fucking terrible.

Tsukishima: it’s the opportunity of a lifetime to be here.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tendou: i’m separating from the group.

Semi: it’s the ideal time to kill him.

Tendou: yeah i mean, if i were gonna die in camera it would be a pretty noble thing.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Osamu: I don’t understand what’s wrong with atsumu sometimes.

Atsumu: what was that?

Osamu: i didn’t say anything.

Atsumu: you sure you didn’t say anything, ‘samu?

Osamu: now go back and set ‘em off to make sure they work.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sakusa: *inhales*

Atsumu: *inhales*

Sakusa: you need to back up from me. i can feel your air intake. it’s like a gross nasal jet, i don’t know.

Atsumu: *takes a step towards sakusa*

Sakusa: uh no *takes a step backwards*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Futakuchi: latch yourself onto my soul, come back to hollywood with me, and destroy the lives of all my friends and coworkers.

Koganegawa: a little hard to follow, but i like where you’re going.

Futakuchi: kogane’s family has a little-

Koganegawa: ey! ey! do-! do-! don’t!

Futakuchi: -dog named mickey.

Koganegawa:*trying to stop futakuchi*

Futakuchi: real good. you wanted me to give it my all. i’m throwing stuff on the table.

Koganegawa: insults, not personal information. you’re giving him a dossier on my life!

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

Text

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself. except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall

Liked by starkcosmetics and others

y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it. he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that. so happy ❤️

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caroldanvers 😍😍😍

flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry

1 HOUR AGO

He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.

The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story. Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.

Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors

You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver

Who is James Barnes? Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau

Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him. Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard. ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.

He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’). But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.

‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’ a source close to the couple reported.

Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.

‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’

Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right. To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar.

However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.

Is this the best she thinks she can do? So sad tbh :(

a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer.

He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol

I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!

Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate. From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship. Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.

she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together

He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry

Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson?? I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.

You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea. “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious. “People are really obsessed with you two…”

“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second. He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment. “I haven’t talked to him in… years? I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it. And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other. But he has his own problems. I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”

“But you’re not just any one girl. You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.

“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him. “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first. Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name. And I’m not perfect. Not even close.”

Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly. “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”

“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries. When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away. “Don’t read the comments, okay? None of them matter.”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well. In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.

“Seriously? I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.

“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words. “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing. I’m not used to that.”

“You deserve the world,” he assured. “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”

He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.

"Do you like it? Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"

"Couldn't care less," he refuted. "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."

“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.

“Always.”

Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head. In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized. What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.

“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.

He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker. “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”

Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway. BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door. Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.

“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face. “Are you—?’

“Hungry? Yes,” he frowned.

“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk. “Say, is she a freak or what?”

“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified. “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”

“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.

“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.

Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.

“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.

“I could say the same to you! Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”

“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl. “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”

“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.

Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space. “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”

“You’re a star,” you winked. “And not just with random delivery drivers. I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”

“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough

“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!” You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.

“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained. “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”

“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen? By people?”

You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes. “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.

“Probably,” you admitted.

His frown deepened. “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked. “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”

“I don’t have anything to wear…”

You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning. “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”

“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed. “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”

“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off. “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”

“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought. “Is the smoothie comped?”

“I don’t know. Do you want me to ask?”

“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.

“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.

“Are we really doing this?” he asked.

“If you want to,” you mitigated.

“Of course I do. I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled. “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”

You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.

Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky. “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table. “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already. I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb. I…”

One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.

“I really like you. I think we have something special.”

He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek. “I think so, too.”

Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.

“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress. “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”

“A servant? You’re still paying me,” he reminded you. “You are still paying me, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff. You’re my boyfriend!”

(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)

“No new driver,” he decided. “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.

“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard? Is that too weird?” you continued.

“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever. As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”

He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.

“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress. Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.

“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet. It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.

“Hey,” he returned.

“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.

“That was the plan.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

#bnha 299 #takami keigo #hawks (bnha)#best jeanist #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I found peace in your violence #can't tell me there's no point in trying #I'm at one #and I've been quiet for too long

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