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mampysou · 3 years

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Day 11 of Harringrove April.

Also read on AO3

Some blood and injury detail below and homophobic language.

Hug

He doesn’t know why he followed the noise; you’d think after everything that had happened over the last year in Hawkins he wouldn’t, but here he was chasing after a strange grumbling sound. He couldn’t quite describe it. It sounded human. Just. Whatever or whoever it was sounded in pain, and being the sap he was, he needed to check it out before he could leave with peace of mind.

The back street was dark and damp in the rain, the fat drops bounced out of puddles and dropped from his nose. The noise was getting louder and he tried his best to quiet his feet. His mother always said he sounded like a baby elephant when he moved around and complained loudly, and regularly, that he woke her on his way out to work. He was sure he had to turn one more corner and he would be in sight of whatever was making the noise.

He steeled himself, preparing to run in case he once again came face to face with a monster from a different dimension. Though running wouldn’t do him much good if he did. A sudden need to be armed tore through him as he scanned the floor for anything that could be used as a weapon. He picked up a trash can lid and swing it around a few times. If that hero guy in Dustin’s comics could use a shield to beat people up surely Steve could do the same, right?

He tested its weight and slipped his hand through the handle, gripping it tightly. All his friend would be cursing his name if they knew where he was right now. He had promised them and, in turn, made them promise him that this wasn’t something they would be doing by themselves ever. If there was ever any sign of trouble he should radio immediately and they would come running. Night or day his little pack of nerds would be there.

But for some reason Steve was convinced that this was something he shouldn’t call them for. It’s not that he won’t need them, but he felt like they shouldn’t see what’s coming. It sent a shiver of nerves and apprehension down his spine as he reached the corner. ‘Shield’ up and ready he took the final step towards the unknown.

The last thing he expected to see when he rounded the building was a person scrunched into the smallest ball possible, flithy, wet and bleeding. He didn’t recognise them, but he rushed forwards regardless. He checked the area for anything suspicious, before crouching next to shaking body.

He could see they were male now, no women in Hawkins were built like that. Strong arms wrapped over his head, like he was protecting it, and his knees touched his chest. A feat would have deemed impossible if he hadn’t seen it, due to so incredibly tight blue jeans.

The guy had cuts up his arms and what looked to be handprints wrapped around his wrists. His jeans had tears in them, and grazes in the holes like he had fallen on the pavement. He could see tiny bits of gravel wedged inside the cuts and scrapes, which were crying out to be cleaned.

Steve didn’t touch him at first, seeing how terrified this guy was he didn’t know how he would react. He just spoke to him in quiet but firm terms.

“Hey. How can I help?” he said seeing the whole-body shudder as his voice reached the boys ears. “You're injured and need medical attention; can I drive you to the hospital?”

The guy’s head shot up and Steve tried not to fall back on his arse. Billy Hargrove’s face looked back at him frozen in terror. His blue eyes ringed with red and both eye sockets turning deep shades of purple. His lip was cut and he had another hand print around his neck.

“No fucking hospitals.” He croaked voice not sounding anything like Steve knows it should.

Steve kept calm. It didn’t matter who it was, Billy still needed help and he would give it as best he could. “Right, so can I take you back home?” This reaction was worse. Billy flinched away from him, back hitting the wall, and Steve heard all the air puff out of him.

“Okay so not home either then.” Steve supplied.

Billy, who Steve was sure hadn’t recognised him yet, probably because his eyes were on the way to swelling up, tried to speak again. He coughed twice before he managed, “That ain’t my home no more.” And his head dropped back into his hands.

Steve nodded to himself and came up with his last suggestion, he had assumed that not hospitals meant, no police either because taking someone in in this condition would over lead to them turning up anyway.

“My house then. Its empty, just me home tonight and I have all the stuff I need to help you out.” He watched for any reaction and for a while there was nothing. Just as he was about to give in he caught the barest nod of his head in agreement.

“I am going to help you up, okay?” He reached out to grab Billy somewhere it probably wouldn’t hurt too much, only to be shoved away by tattered fists. Whoever did this to Billy, he obviously fought back. He watched as Billy tried to stand with very little success. Steve gently wrapped his arm around his waist, hoisted Billy’s arms around his shoulders and started the long trudge back to his car.

What felt like an hour later, but was probably only about fifteen minutes, they got back to Steve’s car. Billy went rigid next to him; he internally cursed the blonde must have recognised his car.

“Jesus fuck, of course it’s you, Harrington.” He spluttered around a cough.

“Yeah, yeah, just get in the car so we can get you sorted out, Hargrove.” He complained as he man-handled Billy into the bimmer. “What happened Billy?” he asked as he climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Got beat up moron. What the fuck does it look like?” he grumbled at Steve.

“Hargrove got beat up? Who did you fight a giant?” he asked trying his best to keep the mocking from his voice.

“No, just four guys.”

“Four? Why the hell did they do that?” he asked. How on earth Billy got a single punch in was beyond him. Fighting four people wasn’t like in the movies. They didn’t wait patiently for the first guy to stop hitting you then attack. No, they tended to rush you, hoping to over whelm, which clearly, they managed.

“What did you say to get in this state?” he amended. Billy had a notoriously short fuse; one Steve had been on the receiving end of more than once.

Billy looked so pale. His tan face was much greyer now losing nearly all its usual golden colour. “Was just being me. Didn’t know his friends were waiting. Fucking dick heads.”

“What do you mean being me?” he asked quietly trying not to spook him now he was opening up. He could only imagine he wasn’t entirely sure what he was saying.

“’m usually more careful ya know.” Billy’s words were slurring but he seemed to be on a role. “But he was hot and was flirtin’ so I thought fuck it. Let’s try.” Steve thought he got what Billy was saying but this is Billy Hargrove, he could be, could he? “He tugged me round a corner then his buddies were there and they just went off. Calling me a faggot and stuff.” He groaned. “My head is fucking killing me.”

Steve stayed silent. Just drove towards his house in shock. Billy had just told him he was gay. Or at very least liked to hook up with guys. He wouldn’t judge. He was friends with Robin and he could appreciate a hot looking guy. Rob Lowe and David Bowie were something else. So, yea, no judging here.

He pulled into his drive and Billy was drifting off in his seat. Steve knew this wasn’t great, he needed Billy to stay awake. He had no clue why, just that it was bad news. He slammed the car door shut behind him hoping it would jar Billy awake before he had to get him out of the car.

Luck was on his side for once as Billy stared at him, glassy eyed but at least awake. Heaving Billy into the house was no mean feat, especially as this time he seemed to be putting in little to no effort.

“You weigh a fucking tonne!” Steve complained as he propped Billy against the door.

“s’all muscle baby!” he grinned at Steve, tongue peeking out from behind his bloodied teeth and swaying a bit as he attempted to flex. Steve just held in an eye roll. Of course Billy was flirting, he would always find time to flirt no matter how beaten down he looked.

“Just get in the house Hargrove.” He said pointing in the direction of kitchen. Billy seemed to have regained some semblance of control as his used the wall to help him in the right direction. Steve tried not to cringe as he watched the smear of blood and dirt lengthen down the hall but at least he would have a while to clean it up before anyone else came home again.

He found Billy slumped on the floor, against a cabinet, head once again cradled in his hands. Steve collected what he needed from around his house and returned to crouch down near him again. He laid everything out in between them both and pointed to each one as he was about to use it. He moved slowly, gently and carefully whilst he cleaned and patched up Billy.

Billy just stared at him the entire time. He nodded silently every time Steve asked permission to do something until he finished. He still looked like shit but at least he wasn’t bleeding anymore.

“So...” Steve started, not really knowing where he was going. “Can I get you to go to the cops Billy? Those guys targeted you and that fucking sucks.” Billy was already shaking his head. “But Hopper could help you Billy!” Steve insisted.

“No fucking way. No one would help me, he would probably just add to the bruises. No one helps people like me Harrington.” He snapped, but there was no venom in it. Just aching sadness that Steve felt to his core.

“I did. And I would again.” He stated softly. But quickly he felt anger rising inside him. “You shouldn’t have to go through this shit just because you are... Because you like... Guys!” He was so angry by the end, how could anyone believe they were so alone that no one would help them when they were hurt and broken? Part of Steve screamed that he understood. It could have gone that way for him after Nancy if he hadn’t had Dustin or Robin.

“I’m dirty, Harrington. People don’t like dirty things.” He told him. His shoulders were slumped and he looked down and away from Steve.

Steve surged forward and ignored Billy’s flinch as he did. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled his head in towards his neck. It was a damn awkward hug but eventually Billy relaxed and locked his hands behind Steve’s back. As he held Billy he spoke to him. “You are not alone Billy. Any time you need help you come to me. I will help you. You aren’t dirty.” He hesitated but ploughed on to a confession.

“If you’re dirty then so am I. And so is my best friend. So fuck them and stay where we can help.” A silence hung in the air it was tense as he felt Billy’s hands tighten in his jacket.

“You’re like me?” he asked. His voice muffled by Steve’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I am.” He stated. It was the first time he had admitted it to himself let alone said it out loud.

“Oh.” Not quite what Steve was expecting him to say.

“Yeah, oh.”

Billy lifted his head and looked Steve straight in the eyes and said, “So Harrington, can I take you on a date?”

Hope you liked it!

#harringroveapril #Harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #steve x billy #stranger things #st fanfic #Day 11

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maxmundan · 3 years

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Tina and I are attending the trial of accused murderer and pedophile Roy Dadio. I have no idea how we were able to get seats for this thing as it is the biggest trial that’s been held in California for many years. Dadio stands charged with 17 murders and an even larger number of child sexual assaults. The details of the case, elaborated daily in the local newspaper, have been lurid and disgusting, with Dadio slaughtering entire families so he could kidnap a child he has targeted. He then imprisoned the children and raped them repeatedly over a number of years before he was finally caught. It is my understanding that this trial is a fait accompli. Dadio has not confessed yet to the crimes he is accused of, but the children were found chained in the basement of his house in the Palmdale area and several of the children are expected to testify to the unending abuse they suffered at his hands. Those of us in attendance in the viewing area are here to see a monster like Dadio get what is coming for him. Dadio is a strangely imposing figure. He is a tiny, weaselly man in his fifties with a greasy scalp almost entirely empty of hair. A few wayward sprigs branch out here and there, but they are disquieting in such a way that they make you wish there were no hairs at all. He’s wearing an orange jumpsuit now, but when he was arrested, and in all the now famous photographs of him, he was dressed in his signature filthy blue jean overalls without a shirt, his pasty white flesh and bulbous stomach protruding and plainly visible. Today’s testimony was by a young boy of 11 or 12 named Carl. I know they mentioned his age but neither Tina nor I can remember what it was. It seems like a weird thing to block out but neither of us can remember it for the life of us. Carl is a very withdrawn child and the prosecuting attorneys have been having a very hard time getting him to speak up so that the jury can hear him. Those of us watching have had to strain mightily to hear his words ourselves. The story he tells, however, is outrageous. He claims to have watched Dadio murder his parents and sister with a pick axe and a bone saw and then spent the next several years chained in Dadio’s basement, where he was fed nothing but stale bread and maggoty canned meat and was regularly raped and beaten by Dadio at alternating intervals. Carl has spent the entire day relating these details in a shallow, whispered voice with tears streaming down his face. It is simply impossible to watch him and not be moved to tears yourself, and both Tina and I have been crying our eyes out all day, so that when we walk out of the courtroom at the end of the day, our faces are red, and our eyes burn from rubbing them with our fingers. So, Tina and I are now standing outside the courtroom discussing the case and today’s testimony when, to the shock of us both, Dadio walks out of the courtroom completely unencumbered by handcuff or police escort of any kind. He is a completely free man, at least for this moment. This makes absolutely zero sense, of course, for a lot of reasons, least of which is that his trial has barely begun, and to the understanding of Tina and I, was supposed to be being held without bail because of the horrible nature of his accused crimes. Nevertheless, there he is, striding out of the courtroom with a shit-eating-grin on his face like he owns the fucking place. Dadio stops for a second just outside the courtroom door to cast his glance around the area looking for all the world like a man observing the length and breadth of his kingdom. Both Tina and I are just watching him with our mouths wide open but nobody else seems to even notice, just going about their business as if nothing remarkable is transpiring in front of them. After scanning the entire area outside the courtroom, Dadio’s gaze falls, to my dismay, on my wife and me. His smile widens with a sort of oily, festering recognition as he fixes us inexorably with his vicious stare and begins to saunter across the room directly toward us. As he gets closer I see that his interest is entirely on Tina. He doesn’t notice me at all. It is as if I am not even there. Every bit of his attention is focused on my wife. You can feel the lust and desire coming off of him in waves as he walks straight up to her. Hell, you can fucking smell his lust like he’s releasing a cloud of it into the air. He stops right in front of Tina, and without saying a word, winks luridly at her. I am frozen in place. I know I should do something, say something, but I am frozen in place. It isn’t fear that is paralyzing me but shock. This should not be happening. Why is it happening? Where are the police to take this scumbag and put him back in his cell where he belongs? Suddenly, he reaches out to grab Tina by the waist and pulls her body hard against his. As he does this he lets out a cacophonous cackle that has a similar effect to nails being scraped across a chalkboard. I glance at Tina and aside from the look of incomprehensible horror on her face, I can see that she is experiencing the same atrophy of her limbs and body that I am. Luckily, at that very moment, my frozen muscles are freed from their impotence, and I am able to leap across the room at Dadio, ripping him away from Tina and pummeling his now rigid and strangely pulsating body into the ground. I punch him repeatedly in the face. Over and over again I hit him until my fists are bloody and I start to see pieces of tooth flying wildly though the air in reverse trajectory form the arc of my punches. At the same time, I am screaming at him, “You will not touch my wife. You will not fucking touch my wife.” I have no idea where this level of rage is coming from. It seems to have appeared from nowhere. I can’t remember feeling even mildly angry before I attacked this scumbag. At the same time, I am thoroughly enjoying the feeling of releasing my rage upon this eminently deserving subject. I continue punching the bastard for what feels like an eternity. How long have I been punching him? Have I always been punching him and only just noticed it now? At some point, over the sound of my screaming and his screaming and his bones crunching under my fists and of the wet, oily sound that I assume is his flesh, I notice Tina’s screaming voice too. What is she saying, I wonder? It takes me several minutes to realize that she is begging me to stop. Only then do I really notice the damage I have done to Dadio. He is a person no more but a writhing, twitching, wheezing lump of bloody tissue, that is not only covering the floor but also staining my hands and clothes. I am covered in him. I am drenched in Dadio. Suddenly, I stop punching what is left of Roy Dadio and rise slowly, with no small amount of discomfort, to my feet. I turn towards Tina, bits and pieces of my victim still falling off of me and onto the floor, to see that tears are streaming down her face and she is looking at me with abject horror in her eyes. I try to take her in my arms, but she pushes me away. I reach out for her again and she slaps my hand down, screeching “Stay away from me. Stay the fuck away.” Then she turns and runs, as fast as she can, grunting madly and jerkily waving her arms in the air. I watch her disappear in the distance. “What brought that on?” I wonder, wiping a few remnants of Dadio from my shirt sleeve, “I was only trying to help.”

Max Mundan, The Trial of Roy Dadio

#prose #fiction #maxmundan #writers #thetrialofroydadio #tw: child molestation

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melyaliz · 4 years

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Yellow Umbrella pt 1

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Demon Lord Loki needs distraction from the mundane life he lives. You need to figure out who you are now that your boyfriend left you. (AU where Loki is a Demon mafia lord.)

Pairing: Demon!Loki x Reader

Warning: This is NSFW - lots of sexual content

Story notes: The character’s name is Yue because I hate Y/N I feel like it takes you out of the story. (This is my creative way around that)

My Notes: Loki won the contest! But that doesn’t mean Jason won’t show up… I have some saucy plans so don’t you worry. I also tagged everyone who liked/commented on the post. If you don’t want to be tagged just let me know and I will remove you.

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

DONATE or REQUEST

------

Every story has an ending. That moment when you are sobbing on your best friend’s bed asking her why this happened. He was supposed to be your everything, he had promised you forever. He WAS your everything. You couldn't picture your life without him. Without his morning text, checking in during the day, his opinions on your life.

He had promised you forever.

How could he just leave like that?

As if those 3 years of constant meant nothing.

As if you meant nothing.

In those moments it feels like it’s the true ending. What could possibly happen next? How could life even go on? What would it even look like? How does one go on after such a shift in their reality.

The problem is this is life. There is no ending, no rolling credits. No large THE END on the last page of the book. The beginning to life is when you are born and the end is when you die. During that time there are a million different shifts and changes.

And even then people have lived before you and will live after you.

So when moments like this happen, how do you start over when your entire life has ended?

When your entire life breaks up with you.

-----

Loki sat in his boardroom. And he was bored, bored in his boardroom.

Someone come kill him.

Too bad he was a demon and couldn’t really die.

The king of demons actually.

Well A king really. The world had gotten just a bit too big for one organized faction and demons had never been very good at the whole “following a god” sort of things so many hundred years ago they had given up and did their own thing. The most powerful ones taking weaker demons and building factions to rule over.

Think of it like an underground mafia

And Loki was lord of one of the largest powerful territories.

Which was great, unless you had to be stuck in these endless meetings. Sure they were important, he needed to know what the werewolves had been up to and if the vampires were starting to group again.

But it was all so trivial. (Just send an email or something.)

That was why he had underlings. To deal with these things.

“We have a few spies among their ranks so we will keep you updated.” the man, Yash, droned on, did they intentionally get the one demon with the most boring voice to run these things? Where was the pazazz? They were demons after all.

Next to Loki his secretary Clover shifted. Her black mini skirt pushed up under the boardroom table so that the demon lord could draw lazy lines up her leg just brushing over those crotchless lace panties she had dawned just for this meeting.

She was a good secretary.

“But… the good news is souls are up and our borders have never been stronger.”

“And on that note,” Loki gripped Clover’s inner thigh before standing. Taking his beautiful scepter that his assistant Jeff had gotten him as a gift last year he tapped in against the floor. The sound echoing across the room. “Let’s take the rest of the day off and celebrate!” See Yash, pazazz

The room erupted in cheers as he added “drinks on me.”

Which is was what led them all to a beautiful speakeasy in the heart of San Francisco. The drinks were strong and the bartenders hot.

Just how Loki liked it.

One in particular caught Loki’s eye. A busty blonde who smiled brightly as he walked in. Leaning forward Loki licked his lips as the woman matched his stance, showing off just a bit more of her beautiful cleavage.

“You’re new.”

“Just helping out for the night.”

“Well I would love to learn more about you before you must leave Cinderella.”

“I'll be here past midnight don’t you worry.” she said shaking his drink. Her body bouncing with the rhythm of the movements.

Loki licked his lips, “Perfect”

She smelled of tequila and seltzer as he fucked her in the back. The cold night air coming out in little clouds as he lifted her up pushing against her. She was impressed by his super strength, humans always were, and the cold night air made her nipples perky as he let his tongue run lazily over them.

“God your beautiful.” she said running her fingers over his thick black hair.

“God’s got nothing to do with it baby” he growled thrusting into her again causing her to let out a cry of pleasure.

“Adriana?”

“Shit.”

Loki’s fingers gripped the curvy girls ass digging into the soft flesh. “Friend of yours?”

“Boyfriend…”

Turning Loki instantly knew why she had cursed. The boyfriend wasn’t alone. Four of them stood there and they didn’t look nice.

He had send his own men home assuming he would just have one quick fuck and then leave.

After all everything about that woman had screamed single and desperate.

I guess you never judge a book by it’s cover.

Not that this wasn’t his first time dealing with a jealous lover.

--------

It was raining out. Thick sheets of torrential downpour as Yue walked home. Her soft yellow umbrella taking the brunt of the storm as she sloshed down the street. She really shouldn’t have even been out in it but when you wake up at 4am with a cough that won’t let you rest there is nothing you can do but run to the local 24 hour mart and grab some NyQuil.

This cold air and rain wasn’t helping the cough but there wasn’t much she could do.

After swigging some of the blue liquid Yue started her trek home. And that was when she saw him. Leaning against the wall heavily. At first she thought maybe he was throwing up but as she got closer she realized he was bleeding.

“Are… are you ok? Do you need me to call 911?”

Her phone was out to show him she could call the police even if he tried something.

“Not much good they can do.” he said turning to her. His dark lined eyes smudge from the rain, black hair flat against his face giving him a very emo boy band look.

Welcome to the Black Parade anyone?

Holding out her umbrella the man took a step under it. “Nice boots” he said pointing to the matching yellow boots Yue had on. His eyes lifted up meeting hers with a wiry smile. He had a split lip and a few other cuts and bruises on his face. He also had a few previous scars on across his left eyebrow and one that was under the same eye down his cheek.

That coupled with the way the light of her phone seemed to make his pale skin glow gave him a little unworldly look. As if he was some fallen angel right out of a Gothic comic.

“So little yellow boots where are you taking me?”

“A hospital?”

“That’s no fun.” he drawled, running his thumb over his split lip.

Her response was a few muffled coughs eyes watering. He studied her taking in her flushed cheeks and red nose along with the 7-11 bag she was holding. “Sounds to me that you need it more than I do.”

“Well I was about to take some NyQuil and pass out.”

“Well I won’t keep you.”

She took a step forward about to leave him. She didn’t owe this mysterious stranger anything. But something nagged at the back of her head. Pausing she turned to him, “If you walk me to my door I’ll let you take my umbrella wherever you need to be.”

“What?” he looked down at her surprised.

“I’ll let you take my umbrella.”

He looked her over, his breath thick with the smell of whiskey. “Ok.”

They walked in silence, the only sound was the echo of the rain hitting the little sunny covering over them.

Once they approached her small apartment complex she stopped turning to him. His eyes lazily looking around, hands in his pockets giving him a very laid back look. She had no idea how he had gotten beaten up but it really didn’t seem to affect him much.

Holding her umbrella up she flashed him a slightly painful smile. Her mouth was so dry from this dumb cold.

“Here”

He leaned forward looking down at her, taking her in for a moment that same lazy smile on his lips that he had worn their whole walk back. His fingers wrapped themselves over hers for a moment, the cold steel of his chunky silver rings sending shivers down her already sensitive skin.

“Thank you love.'' His voice thick and smokey. Dangerously sexy, sending a shiver down her spine that wasn't from the cold.

“Good night.”

“Night”

And they parted. Him down the street disappearing into the stormy night and her into her complex to drug herself into a peaceful slumber.

Little did they know on that rainy night under a sunny umbrella that a new story was about to unfold. A moment that shifted in time changing the course of their lives forever.

--------

-GET TAGGED!-

Forever tag: @the-shadow-of-atlantis @coffee-randomness @0hmydeku @xx3fsxx @daisyboobear @jason-redhood @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep @cdwmtjb8

Loki: @wayward-hell @winterssoldierrs

Story: @irwin-hood @hit-th3r0ck @cruel-kitten @boofrarti @i-miukimiuki @mmimagine-40 @mynameofuser @pia-1000 @angelgl16 @the-fifth-marauder03 @plutos-deamonchild @frenchfrostpudding @carydorse @neverleturheartshow2 @sebhiddleston @probsjosh @dracaryspowpow @andrea20967 @saiyanprincessswanie @olive-tini @albinotigerpython

#Loki x you #Loki smut #Demon!loki #Loki x reader #Loki x oc #Loki fanfic #my writing #Demon lord #Marvel Smut

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callsignbaphomet · 3 years

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🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊

Y'think thats enough pens? Either way I don't expect you to do somethin for aaaaaaaaaall of em lol

Gsudkblbzysuv hun, this is so beautifully chaotic!

🖋 Ginger's a vampire but both of her dads (Lee Grimm and Glenn Grimm) are werewolves (Mist Walkers). Both are trans men.

🖋 Jelani uses male, neutral or female pronouns. Has no preference to which ones someone should use.

🖋 Trevor knows ASL. His little brother was deaf and in his memory he learned ASL.

🖋 Angelus sorta, kinda had a daughter. Ok tl;dr back in the late 1800s he ran into this little girl that was living in the street and tried to steal some money off him but she got caught. He gave her everything he had on him and then she ran off and he lost track of her. Much later he found her again but this time she was a bit older, like 11 years old. They recognized each other and they both went to get a bite to eat and she told him she ran away from home because her parents were abusive. Obviously coming from a similar background he heavily sympathized but he didn't know the first thing about kids but he still took her in. She grew up, married and had kids of her own and those kids grew up and eventually his adopted daughter (her name was Alice) grew old and died of old age. He kept in contact with his sort of grandkids obviously but as his great grandkids grew older and had families and kids of their own Angelus distanced himself. How the fuck are ya gonna explain your sort of adoptivr great grandfather looks like a 20 year old twink? He's kept an eye out on them as a "friend of the family".

🖋 AJ introduced Angelus, Mahmud, Tre and Madison to his favorite hobby: parkour. The five of them regularly get together to free run in places they think would be both challenging and fun.

🖋 Madison introduced Mahmud, AJ, Tre and Xiomara to spelunking and scuba diving as a hobby.

🖋 Sanaa loves and collects windchimes. So Ingvarr modified an alarm clock to make any chime she puts on it chime whenever she sets the alarm. So instead of some jarring alarm she wakes up to a windchime.

🖋 Angelus has an abnormally high tolerance for pain to the point where he won't react to most injuries. This was due to years of having to learn to control his cries of pain because the more he cried out the harder he'd get beaten.

🖋 Trevor holds the world record for longest confirmed sniper kill. Can't be found in any public record but it's in Oracle records and that's good enough for him.

🖋 Jelani (Loke and Jela's grandad, not J lol) and Subira made a spell called "Bright Light". Basically a faint little orb of light that when cast makes anyone near it calm down. It works for regular nervousness, anxiety, panic attacks, anger and so on. It's one of those beginner type spells that barely requires any energy and it can either hover over the caster's palm or it can be "attached" to an object.

🖋 Sunniva (she was Ingvarr's first wife and the woman who gave birth to Loke) is still alive. After she became pregnant she heavily regretted it so that's why as soon as Loke was born she ran away without telling anyone anything. Loke was always told that she disappeared but honestly speaking he never knew her so he has no attachment to her. To him Sanaa is HIS mother and only her.

🖋 Latoya was what you would consider a sickly kid. Someone in another country sneezed and she got sick. Her colds and flus lasted longer than usual and she was a super skinny little girl. When puberty hit she took up sports and when she was 18 she started lifting weights, blew up in terms of muscle tone and got laser eye surgery. Now she's like Rambo in his prime but pretty.

🖋 Abigail is constantly coloring her hair different colors but her favorite is any hue of green since that's her favorite color. She'll also help and color anyone else's if they ask her for help.

🖋 Ginger and Abigail got married on October 13th. Yes, the wedding had a Victorian goth theme to it. Even though they couldn't eat it the cake was red velvet with black frosting and everything. It almost looked like a funeral 'cause everyone was wearing black. I hope to doodle Ginger and Abby in their wedding dresses someday.

🖋 Haakon had a habit of collecting leaves from different countries he visited and kept them safe. Ingvarr and Jørgen both keep journals with leaves of different countries they've visited. They write down the tree the leaf came from, country where they got it from and date.

🖋 Anette can't drive until she's 21. When she was 14 she took Jelani's car, drove her and a bunch of her friends super late at night in winter (from what I've read driving in Norway during winter is horrible), crashed into another car after she lost control, totalled both Jelani's car and the other car and severely injured some of her friends and the other driver. The funny/not funny part is Jela was planning on giving her that car when she got her license but she totalled it. It was BMW by the way. Fuckin' teenager driving around in a 2 year old Beemer lol.

🖋 Speaking of cars. Grete (Anette's mother and Loke and Jelani's aunt) is horribly afraid of driving. She can't get behind the wheel of a car without freaking out. Anette crashing made the fear 10x worse. She can be in a car as long as she isn't driving and the car isn't going too fast.

🖋 During a visit Anette convinced both her parents and Jelani to let her stay with him during the summer. She also convinced both Leah and Xolani to stay over as well. So for a whole ass summer Jelani had three teenagers staying over as a kind of sleep over vacation. It actually turned out fun in the end, the kids had fun and Anette and her rebellious attitude kinda softened.

🖋 Anette, Xolani and Leah have one defining thing in common. None of them know what to do with the rest of their lives. Thing is Leah is very nervous about it, Xolani is kind of aloof about it and Anette is kinda of frustrated about it. Anette is frustrated which leads her to act out and cause trouble. Xolani just looks like they don't care but they do. Leah is super nervous about it. Another thing they got in common is the three of them tend to look up to Loke and Jelani 'cause they feel both understand them better than their parents do.

🖋 Ginger is kinda very obsessed with portals. She's fascinated by them but also respects them as they are incredibly dangerous and unpredictable. She is basically the only person in the world that managed to control portals even if it's for a short amount of time.

🖋 Shaine got really into explosives when she was just a kid. After an accident with a dozen cherry bombs she was left partially deaf, now has to wear a hearing aid and is the explosives expert.

🖋 Before joining Oracle Katya financed her transition by making fake IDs and passports. She also doxxed corrupt government officials and ransomed vital information she got off them.

🖋 Loke is allergic to bird dandruff but would love to have a pet pigeon. At least he can have dogs which is his other favorite animal. His favorite dog is the pitbull.

🖋 Until he got together with Jelani all of Angelus's previous relationships were short and ended in kind of disaster because he constantly compared them all to Jelani and to him they didn't measure up. He ultimately said no to relationships around the 1930s and just fucked around. Obviously until he got shit faced once and confessed to Jelani he was in love with him and the rest is history.

🖋 Tre is one of the super rare seers that can see and feel visions. He's so sensitive that merely standing in an area with a lot of energy could affect him.

🖋 In Oracle there is a head of the organization and two leaders. Current head is Aleksey with Jelani and Angelus as leaders. There's always three as kind of a callback let's call it to when Oracle was started. Aleksey and two close friends started it so from then on there's always 3 leads. When Aleksey steps down Jelani will be head, Ginger will be the second lead and Angelus is the third lead, however he plans on making Trevor the third lead. The reason is because Angelus is fully aware of what he can and can't do and he knows damn well that he isn't lead of an organization material. When he steps down he'd be the Trickster team leader, that he can handle, and since Trevor left a vacant spot Loke would take that spot.

🖋 There is a place called Kironia. It's theorized to be a sort of epicenter for portal activities. Angelus and Ginger have been tasked with keeping an eye on it but it's shrouded in so much mystery most people don't think it's real.

🖋 Despite the fact that Trevor personally knows a Maker and a goddess (Jade, Latoya's girlfriend) he's still an athiest.

🖋 Trevor didn't have a name growing up, he chose the name Trevor because it sounded pleasant. He took his surname, Ravencroft, from a woman he'd heard of from other Oracle agents. He eventually got to meet Morgana Ravencroft, she thought it was flattering he took her name.

🖋 Speaking of Morgana Ravencroft, Angelus was first introduced to the concept of magic because of her. He went with Trevor to help him with some supplies and after being completely hypnotized by some illusions she gave him a book on the basics and helped him get started.

🖋 Loke stopped aging and it's something of a weird occurrence that is brought up every so often. When he was 28 years old he and Jelani (who was 15 at the time) were delivering some supplies to another village. They ran into bandits and as usual Loke was trying to protect Jelani and in doing so he was fatally wounded. Of course Jelani freaked the fuck out and his "fail safe" kicked in. Jela doesn't remember but Loke does, he saw Jelani change form and after dealing with the bandits he turned his attention to Loke and stopped him from dying. He was rusty as fuck so he put a little more oomph behind it and a tiny portion of his energy slipped into Loke. Neither of them know but Loke is basically kinda frozen in time when it comes to aging. So because of this Loke can't die unless Jelani dies.

🖋 Loke has a black feather that's warm to the touch and small embers can be seen floating out of it. He's never mentioned it to anyone and keeps it close to him. The feather came from Jelani when he changed form to fight off the bandits. After he blacked out and changed back Loke found the feather on the ground. He knew where it came from that's why he kept it. He's never told Jelani about that day because he doesn't know what it means and he thinks telling him would only serve to confuse him further.

🖋 Continuing with Loke, he's your average run of the mill berserker. That means he cannot use magic while in berserker mode or even with his weapons. The only ones that can do that are arcanist berserkers (the Nyota tribe). Sanaa is an arcanist berserker, she can use magic while in berserker mode. However, through years of practice Sanaa managed to teach Loke one spell that her people are really fond of. Falling Stars is a spell that has the user charge a single arrow. The arrow is shot upwards and as soon as it reaches high enough it splits into hundreds of arrows that rain down on the target. Loke started practicing when he was 8 years old and by the age of 30 he managed to pull it off making him the first berserker to use magic.

🖋 Jelani and Leah are two of the extremely rare and fortunate people that have gone through a portal and have returned. Whether their return was sheer luck or the fact that he's a Maker is something I'll elaborate on later.

🖋 Haakon knew Jelani wasn't a berserker. Haakon himself had a feeling that his grandson was something far more, if that makes sense. The day Jela was born Haakon had a dream but instead of fear he just felt an insurmountable amount of wonder. He's only ever told his wife, Eli, who in turn believed him. Both always made sure Jela didn't feel out of place and Haakon frequently encouraged him.

#theonedayking #reply #oc things #long post

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keshandliveblog · 5 years

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17:11 - 17:20

Back to the story, Luffy yells at Captain Buggy to not interfere with Zoro’s fight. Buggy is offended, but really, if you’re gonna draw a knife you might get stabbed with it.

Buggy is kind of bad at adapting to the battlefield so far. I’m also going to mention I like how the whole vibe of someone can change based on how they’re drawn, like here is Luffy in this scene:

And here he is most of the time:

I suppose people do this too, but it always feels more exaggerated in art. This just random commentary on art, it doesn’t really relate to the story. Anyway, that is a cool part of art.

Cabaji yells about how he’ll kill Zoro anyway. This completely fails, because Zoro just dodges. Then he talks about how tired he is. I mean, he’s probably winding up to say something like, “I’m tired of fighting someone so weak,” but if he’s actually tired I totally get it. This week has not been kind for Roronoa Zoro’s body. He starved for a while, then he was almost executed, then he was stabbed today and carried a heavy cage and ripped open his wound, then the house he was sleeping in collapsed, then some unskilled jerk kicked him in the aforementioned stab wound several times, so he decided to stab himself again to stop wasting time. Zoro is kind of a weird dude.

Anyway, before he can say anything suitably badass, Cabaji, who hasn’t been reading One Piece, interrupts him. Cabaji is like, “Hey, I bet your bleeding to death, LOL!” and Zoro is offended at the suggestion he experiences normal human things like anemia, so he kicks Cabaji off his unicycle.

Y’know what? Cabaji should replace that thing with roller skates. He keeps being kicked off. Or stop using a unicycle. That’s an obvious weakness. On the other hand, he’s dedicated to his aesthetic, and you have to admire that in a person.

Zoro does end up saying something along the predicted lines. One thing I’ve noticed about Zoro so far is that if you want to predict his actions just think of a US 80’s Action Hero, and that’s what Zoro will probably do.

So Zoro prepares a Finishing Move, presumably because his Attack Gauge is finally filled up. He says, “Onigiri!” and takes out Cabaji in one hit. Goodbye Cabaji. You will not be missed.

Onigiri means Oni Slash, says the translator. How fittingly demonic.

As is common with this world, Cabaji survived being killed, and will probably wake up later. Alas, we’ll have to deal with his showboating some other time. I mean, unless this really is a Saturday Morning Cartoon set-up, but I’ve been led to believe these things come back.

Cabaji complains about being beaten by just a thief and, well, these guys are a little bit more then merely normal thieves. Unless thieves go around fighting people, but that doesn’t really seem like a thing a stereotypical thief would do. That sounds more like a raider.

This is a paragraph transition, Zoro says that they are pirates, not just thieves, and dramatically collapses. Then he takes a nap, and Luffy agrees to finish the fight in his place. Zoro. A real cool dude. Likely dying of blood loss.

Luffy gears up to fight Buggy, and Buggy is generally shocked at their pirate-yness. Luffy “politely asks” Buggy to give him the Grand Line map, but Buggy refuses. This particular line made me giggle a little:

I’m not really trusting the translation, but the fact that they don't even have a name for their crew yet is kind of funny. Well, or more than five members, but that’s neither here nor there.

Buggy incredulously asks what an unnamed tiny crew is going to do with the Grand Line map, and Luffy replies he’s going to become King of the Pirates.

Hmm, I can tell it’s been a long day, because now I’m wondering if a woman wanted to be the King of the Pirates, would she be the Queen of the Pirates? Well, considering there’s only ever been a single king, it probably doesn’t change based on gender. Irrelevant, anyway, because Luffy’s the next Pirate King.

Anyway, this reply brings about an extreme response from Buggy, who claims he’s going to get the One Piece (as in the treasure). Not with that attitude, he’s not! C’mon Buggy, show some hustle!

Luffy yells at him to shut up, but in a ‘we’re going to fight, let’s shit talk each other’ sort of way, and Buggy tells him to shut up. Then Buggy says that Luffy’s hat reminds of a red-haired guy he used to know.

Oooo~ is it about Shanks? Cliffhanger volume ending!

#VOLUME: Versus!! Buggy's Pirate Fleet #one piece #liveblog #CHAPTER: The Difference In Power #017

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that-bookworm-guy · 5 years

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Character Creation Tag (Alexander)

@pens-swords-stuff did this and this looked cool so I thought I’d do it with my baby Alexander

1) What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.?)

The name. I knew he would be a bookworm too

2) Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Nope, he was the first character and everyone else was built around him.

3) How did you choose their name?

always loved the name, since I was tiny. I never knew anyone called Alexander so I have no idea where I got the name from, but it was also a name I was considering when I came out as trans but it didn’t suit me, so my character’s name was born.

His last name is Fawn, which just came to mind and seemed to fit.

4) In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Oooo so in the first book he loses his family. I wanted to really concentrate on his backstory at the start to show how normal his life was and how unprepared he was for everything to go tits up. Everyone has a special power and his is enhanced intelligence and he experiences everything from being able to read minds (Not a lot), to having visions about the future and hearing his powers voice. He wants to get rid of it, so I really wanted to show how much it affected him.

He has ADHD so I wanted to show that through his every day life and I made sure it was mentioned in passing. I wanted to show how he was in school because there are some important characters that come back from there.

His family were well off with house staff and technology because I wanted a clear contrast between his old life and his new life on the run.

5) Is there any significance behind their hair colour?

Nope

6) Is there any significance behind their eye colour?

Nope

7) Is there any significance behind their height?

Nope, he is average

8) What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

He has bad anxiety and depression. I didn’t want to hide it and I’ve had it all my life so I wanted to write a hero who had a mental illness and although it does slow him down, it doesnt stop him.

9) Are they based off of you, in some way?

The whole story came to be because I had a dream where my sister was taken and I had some kind of powers that helped me to get her back. This is basically the outline to the whole of book 1. So in a way yes.

Same with the anxiety and depression, a lot I wrote about it true and was how I was feeling at the time. I feel it made it more realistic to a reader that way.

I can be quite cheeky and was often got told off for it when I was younger, so I really wanted to include that element of fun into his character.

10) Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

I knew he wasn’t going to be straight. Whether he knew that about himself yet was another story. But it’s turning out to read like he is bi, so I will definitely be sticking with that.

11) What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

So there was a scene where he got caught and basically got beaten up but a police officer (They are all working for a corrupt government and know it). I knew I wanted him to get caught and I knew he was going to get treated like a mini adult (He is 13) and that it was going to be a massive shock to him.

But when I wrote that part, it seemed too light. He was basically being interrogated in a cell where they police have no rules.

Then it was too harsh, like way too harsh.

And he didn’t care if he died at this point, he thought he lost everything and in this situation he would have given up. I needed to give him a reason to fight, to be brave and not quit. He needed to get his sister back but thought there was no chance.

So I thought back to my anxiety. If i want something I can’t do it (like ask for sauce in a restaurant) but if my friend with anxiety wants it and can’t ask, you bet I’m going to try to ask for some.

So I put in his best friend (and the guy he may or may not have a crush on) with him, but he was beaten up worse. So he could find some will to fight again.

12) How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

Oh god I have planned this so much. SO basically I had it so well planned out that me @izzytheheartbrekker and @lantern-keeper had a half hour convo about how I could get my characters to break into this one building. All the reasons they gave couldn’t work because I basically wrote myself into a corner that made it so the ideas would not work at all. They needed to break into this building to find files. The files can only be found in this building, I tried to move them but they just didn’t make sense to be anywhere else because of how I wrote the first book and the characters. But they are on the run and trying to lay low so have no reason to enter this building at all.

They can’t just walk in. It’s guarded because of how I wrote the building in the first story. It was basically a suicide mission. But the character’s traits also held an issue. They wouldn’t break in for fun or a dare.

I did work it out in the end.

But their story is always going and I have ideas that will never get put into the story. I have everyone’s back stories wrote that I could form another book on

13) If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

Anxiety. Anxiety controls his life. He wouldn’t do certain things or act certain way because of it.

He loves his sister, in the book I’m currently writing (book 2) I know the first few chapters are missing their interactions. Everything that happened in book 1 was because he was trying to get his sister back, I need to remember that.

14) What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

His cheekiness, he always answers back, and he doesn’t always mean to.

15) What is something about your OC can make you cry?

His love for people. I cried when I wrote the scene his sister got taken, because I know how much his life revolves around her.

‘“Trust me.”

These were the last words that Alexander said to his little sister before… well you’ll see.’ - start of chapter 9

‘Rosia didn’t look so sure. She ran towards her brother and leant against his chest. He wrapped his arms around his little sister and lent over her like a shield. Protecting her from the world outside of his warmth. If he could take all the pain away from her, he would in a heartbeat. She didn’t deserve this, she didn’t deserve any of this. His shirt felt wet against his skin and he realised they were the tears of his sister. He bent down and rested his hands on the side of her shoulders, before leaning forwards and gently kissed her forehead. Looking into her watery eyes, he tried to smile bravely. He couldn’t bare to see his sister so scared. He wiped away her tears with his sleeve and held her against his chest once again.

“We’ll be alright Rosia. We’ll make it somewhere safe tonight and then we will get away from all of this.”

Rosia lifted her head and looked at her protector. With her face red, eyes puffy and gently sobbing, she opened her mouth and gently whispered one word.

“Promise?”

Alexander stood up and held out his hand.

“Trust me.”’ - end of chapter 9, book 1

WHY DO I DO THIS?

16) Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

I want him to be an arsehole sometimes, like it would be easier to write, but he is just so darn nice and lovable.

17) What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

He doesnt want to burden anyone, he is struggling and didn’t tell his best friend. His talent has grown out of control.

“He’s been repressing his power which means he isn’t focusing it, which means it’s growing and every time he relaxes the hold even a tiny bit, that will happen” He pointed to Alex. “and it’s only going to get worse the longer he does it. And by longer I don’t mean days, I mean hours. His mind is developing at a fast pace just as teenagers brains do, except quicker. Christ Alex we’ve spoke about this and you didn’t listen.” Theo was becoming clearly more and more agitated by the second.

“You spoke about this, without me.”

Theo looked at Alex, who looked like he was about to blackout again any second. He calmed down a bit, feeling sympathy for him. “He didn't want to worry you.”

Jathan turned to Alex, “You’re my best friend, I want to know if you’re suffering I want to help Alex.” He turned back to Theo “Isn’t this why we placed the seal in the first place so he wouldn’t lose control. Can't we just do that again?”

“You saw what happened the first time we can’t risk that again.”

“What will happen if he continues to repress it?”

“Worse case scenario, it takes over, he can’t take it, his brain shuts down. But that’s if he doesn’t give up first”

“He dies? Shit, Okay, okay and best case?” He inhaled deeply.

“It takes over, it leads his life for him until he goes mad.” He paused. “Then his brain shuts down.”

“That’s exactly the same just worded differently.”

“It’s exactly the same apart from one takes longer.”

“I am still here, and I can hear you.”

Jathan turned to Alex quickly “Shut it, you don’t get a say in this after you didn’t listen the first time.” He turned back to Theo. “So what do we do?” (First draft)

18) What is your favourite fact about your OC?

“I think the scars showed that you survived, you fought and you won. They show you were brave, that you’re stronger than you think. You got these scars so Haylan and Leo didn’t get any. That’s incredibly brave.You’re incredible…. bly brave.”

Alex looked back up and saw tears running down his face. He lunged forwards awkwardly and hugged him, succeeding in knocking him over. Jathan laughed in between sobs as Alex laid on top of Jathan.

He thinks he is smooth, but boy is he not.

I tag @immzies-adventures-through-books and anyone else who wants to do this because I have been lacking on the writeblr side so I’m not sure who writes anymore and I also tag @phantom-solitaire because they are reading my first book currently so I want to show them more of my baby

#writing #writer

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yuhengbeidou · 4 years

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slave au in which jiang xi goes to a slave auction personally for once 1:11 PM and sees a pair of battered, bloodied blond twins in shackles 1:12 PM gege: I don't like it also gege: DEEPER!!!

I am in shambles please...jiang xi.......buy them 1:12 PM he wasn't going to buy them, actually he did not like this idea of slavery at all, he stopped gyy from using butterfly boned beauty for parts after all, but he was drawn by the sound of a whip and sees a pair of battered, bloodied blond twins in shackles

1:16 PM when the leather whip hit these men, they didn't cry out at all. if anything, their eyes were cold as steel, taking the whip with white knuckles silently a line of red split one of their's backs in two, and then another crisscrossed, new wounds on old scars they were dirty, their hair matted and caked with blood and dirt, and the only thing they had to cover their body was a dirty rag wrapped around their bottoms, just the bare minimum covering jiang xi thought that it was really unfortunate to be a slave, and he was about to turn away when he heard another sound. one of them had turned their back on the whip, covering the other with their body, and the whipmaster raised his whip higher, striking their face this time jiang xi decided then that he couldn't let this go on. he didn't say anything, just quietly paid the slave trader the sum it would take to buy 20 slaves, and walked away. his disciples would come and retrieve them later but before he could leave, one of them caught his eyes and held his gaze, and jiang xi felt something funny rolling in his stomach at that fierce glare from eyes so green they were like poison the bloody gash on that face kept on bleeding, the wounds on his back oozing, and he crouched protectively over what must be his brother who had already passed out from the punishment

JIANG XI HE'S...STUNNED...BY IT!!! yess yes yes forever going to remember gege;s eyes

1 1:22 PM the way home was quiet. jiang xi sat in his horse drawn carriage, going over the accounts from the day, taking a moment to pause at the large sum he paid for the slaves. he thought belatedly... how were they going to get back to gyy? and poked his head out the window. they weren't shackled anymore, but they were still led by their bound hands by a rope, trailing behind some horses, and the one who passed out earlier was barely able to keep up with the horses 1:23 PM so maybe jiang xi calls over one of his disciples and commanded him to put the slaves on a horse, "to get home faster, they are too slow" 1:25 PM . :(((((((((9 once at gyy he demands for them to be washed and dressed in the simplest but, still representative, gyy robes and given something to do in the kitchen or around the sect grounds it doesn't matter

but what if the twins are so beaten and everything + the probably long journey, didi falls sick...so sick even the elders are afraid he won't make it 1:27 PM yessssss didi falls extremely sick... they are both really dehydrated and malnourished, been beaten too many times, infections had set in... 1:28 PM

so jiang xi goes personally? to take care of him? and he's met once again with those cold, frosty green eyes and he tells gege to go take care of himself so he won't be bothersome and gege doesn't MOVE

1 1:28 PM

gfdhjskls; 1:30 PM it's true, as slaves they are probably completely illiterate and can only understand basic commands 1:30 PM

sorry?

1 1:30 PM

wah I can only hear gege going 不行不行:((( at everything

1 1:31 PM

like "won't do won't do".... "go eat!" "Won't do!" "Go sleep!" "won't do!!!" 1:31 PM it's the most useful word for him really... 1:31 PM

not until didi is awake

1 1:31 PM every time he says it, he looks as if he's expecting to be struck down, but nothing happens, and he goes from feral to wary to confusd he hovers over his brother. he can't understand much of what these people are saying, but he knows enough to tell that his brother's skin is too hot and feverish, his brother's eyes are scrunched shut as if he was in pain even in sleep, that the wounds on his brother's back are not healing and are angry and red, and every time they tried to feed his brother something, he threw it all up so when this man... who looked to be their very, very young master came over with a medicine bowl and fresh rags with a bowl of hot water, gege can only helplessly watch... but he will not leave didi's side 1:33 PM gege shaking, hunched over didi's body, refusing to let go of his hand! his tiny very thin fingers holding to didi's one so hard jiang xi thinks he might broke his brother's fingers but really, he's aware the kid can barely stand himself...he's kinda moved....

1 1:36 PM he tries to treat gege's wounds too but gege just shakes his head and point at didi and keeps saying "he, he, no me, he" and jiang xi just "is he dumb?"...but it's a full out war between the two of them, a kid and a youth...and gege wins because he doesn't let jiang xi touch him until didi's fever starts going down

aND HOLY FUCK HNA THEY ARE XUE MENG'S AGE JIANG XI IS SO YOUNG HE'D BE WHAT, 20+???" 1:38 PM ................. UMM YEAH SO FUCKING YOUNG WTF 22-23 at most... omg baby jiang xi

1 1:38 PM when didi's condition has stabilized for the time being, gege finally lets jiang xi clean the wounds on his face and the long gash on his face. jiang xi mutters quietly something like, "why are you so stubborn, aren't you afraid this will scar? you should have let me treat it from the start" but gege just doesn't understand... he flinches back from jiang xi when jiang xi reaches out for his face

1 but when it's clear that jiang xi wasn't going to hurt him, gege shrinks back but let him touch 1:41 PM

MY FUCKING AGE UMMM he falls asleep curled around his little brother, his wounds bandaged, and he holds onto his brother's hands, so exhausted. jiang xi looks at them a moment before drawing a blanket over them both and blows out the candle

1 1:42 PM

damn...wait I NEED TO PROCESS THIS.... 1:43 PM he asks someone to teach them mandarin but....well gege at least knows that jiang xi is good...good enough to give them a room,,,a whole room for themselves, and to magically make didi better...so gege refuses to listen to anyone but jiang xi,,,when what didi sees gege doing, didi does

jiang xi is exasperated he's trying to lead an entire sec on his own, he still has to study, but somehow he has two children he needs to take care of...and he does

1 1:45 PM HE STILL HAS TO STUDY lol this is from personal experience i assume

1 1:53 PM

I HATE HER I HATE 1:54 PM the gyy elders told jiang xi that he can't treat slaves like disciples, they were bought and sold, they're not really people, and jiang xi grows so livid like he would later do at the tianyin pavilion. "you think they don't bleed when you hit them? you think they don't hunger? why would you think they deserve anything less than your own children?"

well I'm 22 and still studying you were studying not so long ago jiang xi is one of us he goes through the uni struggles

dU ROU? IDK I DON'T REMEMBER THE NAME ASSOCIATED WITH THE POLLIA BUT WHAT IF 1:55 PM I THINK IT IS DU RUO ROU SOMETHING LIKE THAT 1:56 PM

JIANG XI!!! jiang xi teaches mhxs...medicine 1:56 PM fuuuuuuuu ok let me look up the blind dates extras 1:56 PM i will look it up and cry

gfhdjkdl 1:56 PM Pollia japonica, known in Chinese as 杜若 “du ruo”. 1:57 PM Pollia japonica, known in Chinese as 杜若 “du ruo”

PLEAAASE 1:57 PM LOOOOL ONE BRAIN CELL 1:57 PM I CHOKED

so, xing'er...du ruo...possibilities

1 1:58 PM du is a surname?? 2:02 PM and when they return for the first time in 10 years to gyy

1 2:03 PM YES DU IS A SURNAME! my old roommate's cn name was du sha and it had that du in it too ghjkdks so,,,,really it could work wow

and then they come back and jiang xi goes "shit THEY WERE CUTE WHAT DID HAPPEN AT KUNLUN!?!?!"

1 2:04 PM RIGHT since he's a foster son he wouldn't take jiang xi's surname... fuycking hell jiang xi adopted a kid for his surname du so he could name him ruo huh

1 2:05 PM it's yak milk. they drank a lot of yak milk at ktp 2:05 PM grew up big and strong... they are at least half a head taller than him now

1 2:05 PM

maybe he's jiang something...hmmm or maybe he has another name,, maybe jiang xi named him because he was probably an orphan or smt and didn't have a proper name....who knows? NOT US...ugh meatbun

1 2:06 PM

mhxs......teaming up on jiang xi

1 2:07 PM

... :(( 2:07 PM jiang xi can't fool them... they know him, even if he thinks he's good at hiding. they remember waking up in the middle of the night suffering from childhood fevers and finding jiang xi doing something in their room, like brewing medicine, etc. and changing the cold compresses on their heads jiang xi made sure they were "asleep" before coming in, but they were slave children who had to learn survival skills far too young and of course they heard him so now when jiang xi acts all angry toward them, they just smile privately between themselves 2:10 PM ...

I want...them...yifu..kink

1 2:11 PM

shuangmeijiang dp yifu KINK 2:12 PM OH MAYBE HE DID ADOPT THEM AFTER YELLING AT THE ELDERS HOLYYYYYYY SHIT PLEASE THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE BEEN MISSING OUT ON THE LAST SIN 2:12 PM

Asdfg YIFU?!? FUCKERY? SHUANGMEI YIFU KINK?

1 2:12 PM WITH SLAVE BACKGROUND

1 2:13 PM

the last sin pleaase as if we won't come up with something to top the eyeless kid one day

1 2:13 PM

I can feel the fandom shuddering in fear and they don't even know WHY

something beautiful~

1 2:16 PM jiang xi walks in on them in a gyy hot spring and they are doing something definitely not brotherly

1 they kept their distance from him since they got back, probably out of respect for him since he's been so testy, but this time when they see him from far away, they make eye contact and smile at him and jiang xi runs of course 2:17 PM

this is your child this au is yours raise it well just like xing'er was <3

1 2:19 PM the way i keep straying further from the light 2:19 PM

jiang xi "holy fuck are they fucking crazy?!!?"

1 2:19 PM i started out writing RANWAN OK

1 2:19 PM I satrted out with yifu fuckery~

I'm coming back full circle idk

1 2:20 PM ranwan is so tame compared to half the shit this DM box has seen

1 2:20 PM

jiang xi wants to have a TALK with them okay?? but then he opens his mouth and nothing comes out oh, didi has a ready retort for that... "yifu, you have to open wider if you think--" and gege immediately slaps him because he still has SOME shame

1 2:21 PM that poor child with his mother as didi i just can't

1 2:21 PM when...when you...put it like that....."didi his mother"...it really...poor child oh god

1 wait I...have more...hcs this is really funny

please shuandmeijiagn dp!!!! they's...drop hitns

and all that they'd drive jiang xi crazy! be gentle, all filial piety, the perfect sons, then they make a 180 degrees turn and they look at him like they want to EAT HIM

1 2:27 PM I"M FUCKING CRYING THAT WHOLE CONVERSATION IS HILARIOUS BROHTERLY UNFREEZING 2:29 PM

and now we jumped to cockwarming

1 2:29 PM slowly unthawing that frozen dick well, can you blame shuangmei if jiang xi never felt like a "yifu" to them? they see him as their benefactor who rescued them and saved their lives literally, but he never took care of their day to day need, he kept his distance, he sent them away for training elsewhere... and when they came back, he still looked exactly the same as he did when they were kids now they even look a little older than him probably 2:34 PM mmmhm what if, he takes them to a medicine lesson? because no matter what, it would bring shame to gyy if they didn't know shit...and maybe didi is careless (or is he) and touches something slightly poisonous or something? and jiang xi's right there, so fast, to take care of him

and then gege cuts himself and jiang xi's going crazy like can't you be serious for once??,,,and then they are serious for once but jiang xi feels bad...as if he commanded them,,,as if he threatened them </3

1 2:37 PM

he goes to ...say sorry or something later in the day and finds gege kissing didi's fingers where some wounds from the poison still have to heal and he's so tender while doing so "why did you do that hanxue?" "can you blame me, for wanting his affection once again? when that was the only good thing that ever happened to me gege??"

1 2:38 PM I need to process I NEED TO PROCESS NOT @ THEM HURTING THEMSELVES ON PURPOSE TO GET HIS MEDICAL ATTENTION AND THEN KISSING EACH OTHER'S FINGERS 2:45 PM Start a new message

didi goes into a narrative flashback we love this. "when i was young... when he first brought us back, i woke up several times, you know. i saw you there next to me, and you probably passed out. he was there too, and i don't htink he noticed i was awake. he seemed so tired, and i was confused... i didn't nkow what was going on "but then i think he heard me moving, so i closed my eyes again. and it is a little blurry, but i think i remember how gentle his fingers felt on my head, just stroking my hair back... gege, the way mother used to stroke our hair, do you remember?" wow i'm tearing up a little

slave babies "it was only for a moment, but i just knew things would be ok from then on... this person wouldn't let us come to harm anymore. gege, you kept taking whippings for me, how much longer could you have gone on for?" 2:49 PM "i was so grateful... that you wouldn't be hurt anymore, that he would protect us, protect you... even now i still see the old scars on your back... gege, what's a little poisoning now if i can get him to look at me like that again?" 2:50 PM jiang xi listens to all of this and feels like he's dangerously close to a heart attack. his face feels flushed, his chest feels tight, he needs to sit down... he drops his pipe, it clatters, and twin eyes turn on him 2:59 PM

the pin him down like a needle pinning a butterfly and he feels as if he's struggling for his last breath but he's simply just not moving, standing there in the doorway like a dumbass

1 3:01 PM

the twins go "yifu" at him....and jiang xi starts shaking because...he never had ulterior intentions, he simply wanted them to be free of that hell, to grow up to their full potential

1 3:02 PM when gege says it, his voice is low, tinged with warmth that doesn't normally exist... it's such a change, the low octave dropping straight to jiang xi's crotch

1 3:03 PM

but there he is, with them chasing after his affection, with them seeing through him as if he were a shard of spotless glass and jiang xi's just....looking at them...partially because he has no idea what to say? mostly because he simply wants them to make the first move and depending on it...he'll react

1 3:03 PM

OHOHOHO YIFU KINK BLOOMING

1 3:03 PM maybe gege takes on didi's fingers into his mouth and start sucking at the places that haven't quite healed yet, looking at jiang xi the whole time and didi tilts his head back, eyes half lidded, hair long and loose hitting the mattress and didi says, "yifu... i don't think gege is doing a great job at getting the poison out... it hurts" and jiang xi swallows hard and has to hold onto the wall to steady himself. 3:05 PM Start a new message Jiang xi is.... Going through a LOT POOR MAN he hears those words and. His heart hurts.. "that's nonsense!",,, but he doesn't go away but neither does he approaches them and gege takes that as an invitation to test the waters as in... Just how far can he go before jiang xi curses them and leaves He takes three fingers wholly in his mouth, closes his eyes and sucks on them the way he sucks didi's cock.. Meanwhile didi is stroking gege's hair while looking straight at jiang xi Gege starts kissing his hand, wrist, up his arm, over a suddenly exposed jade shoulder, he licks and sucks on didi's neck, sitting in his lap and slowly undressing him and didi keeps looking at jiang xi who's still there

1 3:25 PM

When he moans for the first time at a particularly hard bite, his eyes finally close for a moment and the image of him, head thrown back, eyes closed, eyelashes quivering, that sound so frail yet full of meaning... Jiang xi is so hard

3:26 PM oh gege he is so bold, that feral child was still in there even after all those years, just waiting for the right moment to be let out from that polite distant veneer that he adopted from jiang xi didi moans again, holding with both hands on gege's hair, and calls for jiang xi, "yifu, can you feel my forehead? i think i have a fever... ahh, gege..." jiang xi doesn't know when he started moving forward, but he does, stepping onto his pipe even and crushing it under his foot he is entranced, he comes to where they are and touches each of them, one hand on each shoulder, just slowly trying to stabilize himself again didi is undressed down to his waist, and jiang xi's fingers slowly trail down his arm, swallowing hard and still uncertain didi tilts his head toward jiang xi like a sunflower and presses his face into jiang xi's hand, nuzzling it, kissing his wrist, "yifu, please..." and jiang xi has a lot of self-restraint, he does, but this is impossible 3:3 His hands tremble as strokes didi's cheek and then he leans forward and he kisses didi's forehead... There's a muffled snort from gege against didi's neck, and a soft sigh of surprise from didi "it is.... Burning a little" jiang xi mutters against didi's forehead the his lips move, down over the arch of one soft and pale eyebrow, over the hollow of a temple, following the line of a sharp cheekbone... His nose bumps didi's and they look at eacj other... Green eyes and apricot shaped brown.. And didi tilts his head up and kisses jiang xj

1 3:36 PM It's chaste and soft yet it leaves jiang xi breathless worse than anything eleven and when didi pulls away, jiang xi barely has time to breathe before gege tilts this head "I am burning too" he says before he kisses jiang xi too

1 He's a little more powerful than didi but still mindful of jiang xi and meanwhile, didi who was used as a honey trap leaches onto jiang xi's neck

"let me show yifu what gege just did to me"

1 3:38 PM yifu has no choice but to let his disobedient foster sons do what they want to him... they pull him between them, one unfastening the silk sash at his waist, the other brushing his hair to one side, exposing a long line of neck and starts mouthing the column, the shoulders, lips soft and firm at once, a little teeth nipping until jiang xi starts to breathe more heavily 3:41 PM "yifu, is this good?" didi asks, and that was very polite of him because down there, gege already got the sash untied, started to unfold jiang xi's robes and finding a hard bulge between his legs... gege rubs on it with his cheek, pushing aside jiang xi's knees to kneel in between "yifu has been so good to us," gege says, watching jiang xi shudder. "we have been so ungrateful to you."

1 3:43 PM "ungrateful how?" jiang xi manages to say, concentrating on every word. didi takes a deep inhale behind him, the tip of didi's nose against the back of his neck, tickling him. "we never showed you the care and respect you deserve," didi says, and it is a surprise to hear that voice from right behind him. "gege... won't you show yifu what you had in mind?"

Gege goes straight to work!!! He kisses jiang xi's thighs, bites them, muzzled in the dip o his hipbone, so close to where Jiang xi is hard and leaking, yet taking his sweet time to get to it,,, jiang xi squirms a little and didi kisses his cheeks, glues his own one to jiang xi's and looks down at gege "ge, don't be like that, show yifu how good you are alright??" and gege finally, finally lick jiang xi's cock from root to the tip and then takes it in his mouth and jiang xi's moaning, eyes closed and head thrown on didi's shoulder Fire 1 3:49 PM Didi would play with the dark hair down jiang xi's navel, his fingers bumping against gege's lips from time to time "is he good yifu? Is gege treating you well? Do you need anything else? After all, I'm here too and all yours" Fire 1 3:50 PM oh didi he is really irresistible... jiang xi can't say much, he's too busy having his brain sucked out through his cock, he has no idea where gege learned this kind of cultivation technique because he certainly did not teach it to them... he throws his head back onto didi's shoulder and didi takes that as invitation to slip jiang xi's robe off his shoulder and starts pinching both of his nipples making a lewd comment like... oh yifu, how pink and tight they are, how exquisite, like the buds of... hmm, plum blossoms

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dciji-blog · 7 years

Text

( * shin deiji . )

scanning shin deiji, he is twenty-two years old and read as audacious but hazardous, which explains why he is referred to as the scelestic. before virtual reality he was battling multiple personality disorder and living in japan. he’s been said to look incredibly similar to park jimin, but he’s never seen it. in this new virtual world, he plans on finally taming his temper and hopes to never go back to reality.

trigger warning: multiple personality disorder, abuse ( physical, emotional, sexual ), death, murder, violence, blood, adoption.

heeeeeeey-ho, your favourite friendly neighbourhood loser sky is finally here to talk about her beloved Angel™. she/her, twennnnney & from cest aka gmt+2, a nerd. but !! i’m not important here, my baby is sooo i’m really fckn hoping you guys are down for reading some perhaps confusing shit bc i plan on rambling a lot eeek ok here we go.

ps. i hope no one is triggered by this. if you have a problem with any part of my bio, feel free to contact me but only if you genuinely have a problem with it & not because you wanna be an asshole. ok ty~!!

pss. i know that it might seem Extra, introducing so many dark topics here, but abuse, separation & depression are believed to be among the main causes of mpd, so they needed to be included.

psss. i won’t actually be portraying the mental illness itself. it’s only present in my love’s past.

GANG JINYONG:

of course shin deiji isn’t a real name. shin deiji doesn’t exist in reality. at least not with this face. the name they’d attach to his solemn features back home was gang jinyong. jinnie.

born twenty-two years ago on november 11th in ilsan, south korea, this scorpio was raised by a single mother with occasional, undesired appearances of his sperm donor ( his father, but he doesn’t deserve to be called that ).

he was a result of a loveless act, a drunken hookup that failed to turn into anything more. a product of reckless infidelity. his mom, min seo, was a college senior & the guy, jiho, was the owner of a local pub, a married man with two children. when she discovered that she was pregnant & that he was married & uninterested to help her with the baby, she threatened to ruin his marriage if he did not support her financially.

he did so during her pregnancy. she kept asking him for help even after giving birth ( naturally, bc her parents didn’t want to support her & she had to drop out of college so she had no income whatsoever. couldn’t work bc who’d take care of tiny jinnie then ? ). he found them a decent apartment & gave her a job at the bar. jinnie grew up in that bar and watched men catcall, emotionally & sexually abuse his v young mother night after night. he even witnessed jiho slap her a couple of times when she asked for a raise or complained about the regular customers being nasty towards her.

min seo, bless her soul, was a wonderful mother. she put her child first and would rather starve than let her kid walk around hungry. but during the years of torture she became very mentally ill & she would snap at jinnie during her breakdowns. afterwards, though, she’d fall on her knees in front of the tiny kiddo & apologise, kiss his little cheeks & forehead.

when he grew up, he became a victim of the drunks as well. i don’t feel like writing about that now, it was too nasty.

experiencing all of this first hand, more often than not, jin would lock himself away & daydream about a better life. either a life where he was capable of protecting himself or a life in which he was appreciated. those two were among many scenarios he’d get lost in.

while he was still young he dealed with some blackouts & memory loss. he couldn’t figure out how he ended up standing in a particular room. he couldn’t remember certain conversations or things he had done. it was a rare occurrence at first, but as he got older & more plagued by tragedies, it became more frequent.

min seo, believing she was doing the right thing, gave jinyong away when he was eleven. he would’ve been taken away from her anyway, since she was deemed an unfit parent & jin was growing up in an unhealthy environment.

the separation made his illness even worse, it really did. that’s when he had the most alts who distracted him. however, all of them merged and then split into two, leaving jin only with jiu & jeaki.

he was adopted by won mina & jongin, who moved to tokyo, japan with him a year later.

he went to school there & was a remarkable student who was especially interested in nanotechnology.

personality-wise, he was more of a quiet type. not shy but he didn’t like to speak when he had nothing smart to say. blunt af, honest. though, still considerate & kind.

JIU:

the only major alt that survived besides his most prominent one, jeaki.

jiu loves fashion more than life itself. sometimes jin would wake up in piles of new clothes & then look in the mirror and see that his hair’s grey or pink ------ that’s mostly how he discovered when this alt was in charge of his body. jiu always styled his host. other alts didn’t really care about that, but would sometimes sigh at jiu’s extravagant fashion choices, cashmere suits & silky scarves, while going through the closet.

jiu wasn’t delusional, he knew he was not actually a fae prince, but he liked to view himself as one. no one ever praised him, so he took it upon himself to praise himself.

he was created to battle sexual abuse & the depressing lack of love jin was dealing with.

sweet af. pure. heart of gold. god of love. lecherous. classy.

heart-shaped sunglasses. dimmed lights with a rosy glow. tasty, edible lip scrubs. summer.

JEAKI:

main alt. he came when jin was feeling helpless. when anger was bubbling inside of him & ached to be released. he was initially envisioned as a protector of both jinyong & his mother, but soon jin could no longer control him & jeaki became a separate personality with a mind of his own. he started appearing more when jin moved to tokyo to live with his adoptive parents. with a tongue as sharp as a razor & steel knuckles that aren’t afraid to fight back, he failed to manage his wrath whenever he was present.

he was aware of his host & other alts and he wanted to do everything he could to be the most superior alt, often engaging in conflicts with them in jin’s mind even when he was not controlling his body. he managed to consume a couple of minor alts.

he’s not your typical murderous alt you know in media. no, he was never violent just because and he was never aggressive when unprovoked. as i said, he was there to fight back for jin, who was too afraid to do it himself.

thunderstorms. static noise. heavy eyeliner. danger. sore knuckles. bruised skin. jumping out of a plane. taking risks. cats. glares. autumn.

the night of doom: jeaki didn’t have the time to change from jiu’s ridiculous clothes. he needed to go out & get some fresh air. he was angry. mina yelled at jin because of a bad grade, not knowing that he, jeaki, took that test insted of jinnie. jeaki was the one feeling worthless so he needed to go out & cool down. but when his anger management issues combined with a street thug calling him out on his ( jiu’s ) fashion choices & using slurs ( reminding him of his days back at the bar in ilsen ), he could only see red. he started a fight without the intention to end a life, but that’s what happened.

TRANSITION:

jinyong came back to his senses in the middle of the street with dirt & blood on his knuckles & face, beaten, but without a sign of the other’s body anywhere around him. he had no memory of what had happened, but he was having a panic attack & didn’t trust his adoptive parents enough to ask for help.

not long after that jinyong was tracked down & supposed to be charged for murder but a psychiatrist managed to prove that jin had dissociative identity disorder, so they placed him in a mental hospital.

alone, terrified & clueless of jeaki’s deed, jin cried his eyes out in his room in the hospital, until everything around him started pixelating.

SHIN DEIJI:

present day. no, there was not an epic war between alts & their host in order to determine who’d be the cured version of him in this world. it was peaceful. fragments of jin, jiu & jeaki merged in order to form a boy who thoroughly knows himself, but doesn’t know how he’ll react to anything. the voices from his head are gone ------ they all speak at the same time when he opens his mouth.

seeing how he’s the perfect harmony of the three boys that used to live in his body, he couldn’t choose one of their names. he also didn’t want to be associated with anything from his past. that’s when he adopted the name shin deiji, deiji meaning daisy, his mother’s favourite flower. he might introduce himself to you as daisy rather than deiji if you don’t speak korean.

depending on what kind of person you are, you will be shown an appropriate side of deiji’s personality. so, when a couple of different people sit down and start talking about deiji, they might realise that it sounds as if they’re talking about different individuals.

he doesn’t trust people easily. he’d rather die than let anyone lay a poisonous hand on him again. he sticks up for himself. he’s his own protector and best friend. he’ll play you before you even think about playing him.

him not trusting people doesn’t mean he doesn’t engage in various interactions with them. he loves to charm his way into people’s lives because he’s no longer scared that he’ll blackout & do something that he won’t remember afterwards. something that he won’t be fully aware of & unable to control.

hooo, boy. he’s so angry. if you’re rude to him, he’ll be twice as rude to you. always wants to one up others. always. if you’re playing a game ?? he will lie & cheat & do everything to win. then lie about lying & cheating. if he still loses, expect a hissy fit.

god. affection. give this boy affection. would 11/10 die if someone cuddled him. especially when he’s being Extra with his raging, burning anger. he’d just ... melt tf away.

loves to party ?? he doesn’t have to take his medication anymore, but that doesn’t mean that he’s going to drink and get high every chance he gets. get those nasty substances away from him. they took his mother away.

he’s forgiven his mother for every single bad word she directed towards him bc he knows what it’s like battling a mental illness. he’d give anything for a chance to see her again & tell her that he loves her.

nanotechnology is still the love of his life & he’s still such a nerd and wants to know what tf is up with this virtual world & figure out how it works but like ... he’s a scared bambi that fears that he’ll get sent back to his own personal hell if he tries to figure out what’s going on.

so rly what he’s focusing on rn is becoming an actor because he has all these FEELINGS that need to be expressed without having a poor individual who’d be hit by that tidal wave. he rly wants to act, he thinks that will help him a lot. the idea of finding roles that would fit each of the personalities he previously consumed makes him all giddy.

pansexual & rly just a sexual person afaf.

so ... basically what i’m giving you here is a screaming nerd who loves to flirt. ok. should’ve only written that. rip.

if you’re still confused: he no longer has mpd. call him deiji/daisy. don’t yell at him. unless you want bad shit to happen ??

if you’ve read all of this, you’re my new best friend & i love you more than anything glrwbgowgo. come plot with me !!

#virtualintro #this is a Mess ..#tw: mental illness #tw: abuse #tw: death

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allyinthekeyofx · 7 years

Text

Blurring the lines 2/5

Chapter one here

CHAPTER TWO

Mulder is watching me. Even without looking up I can feel his eyes on me. Can feel the confusion that radiates from him in waves, swirling and eddying around the office space we share and even though I have removed myself to the farthest corner I can – an area that Mulder once referred to as being mine – I know that far away is currently not far enough to escape his scrutiny. Because he knows, just as he knew when I was trying desperately to hide my gradual decline from him when I was in the grip of my cancer, that this is my hiding place, partially separated from each other by a flimsy partition of wood and glass and which offers us a physical barrier, offers us space to breathe. But it didn’t prevent him scrutinising me back then, searching for the slightest sign that I was struggling more than I was prepared to admit and it isn’t preventing him scrutinising me now.

We are both confined to desk duty, more for Mulders benefit than mine because although he swiftly divested himself of the sling that was meant to support his injured shoulder, he is in no shape to be out in the field. The wound had been ragged; stitched together just barely at Mulders absolute refusal to entertain any suggestions of grafts and surgery and lengthy recuperation. It would heal, he had insisted, if he scarred he scarred. So he had escaped surgery by a whisker, promising to keep the sling on and his arm elevated for at least a week. His good intentions lasted a scant two days. I didn’t waste my breath arguing against his decision. Over the years I have learned to keep my own counsel – to know which battles are worth fighting regarding his cavalier attitude toward his own health and wellbeing.

The days have dragged monotonously for both of us I think and while initially Mulder tried to draw me out of myself, after a while he gave up and became as silent as I have been. Because I can’t bring myself to speak to him – at least not on a personal level and while I politely respond to his work-related queries, he is left with absolutely no doubt that anything else is currently off limits. So instead he just watches me, the silence that stretches between us punctuated only by the occasional rustling of paper, of the muted crack of a shell casing that he has manipulated between his teeth to release the tiny prize within. It’s a sound that, over the years I have come to regard as being uniquely his and I can’t count the amount of times I have awoken in the darkness of yet another anonymous motel room, heart pounding in panic from whichever monster has visited my dreams, to hear the sound of my partner cracking sunflower seeds between his teeth. How often I have felt safe and protected by the knowledge that he is just a few feet away from me; that should I call out to him he would be by my side in seconds, swiftly analysing just what I need from him whether it be by touch or by words he would find a way to affirm that I am okay.

To my intense embarrassment my eyes suddenly start to burn and I feel my throat begin to close as the words blur on the report I have been attempting to concentrate my attention on for the past hour or so and not for the first time I realise I am close to unravelling right there in front of him.

For exactly what reason I feel like this I am less sure. But as the days have passed since that moment the world celebrated I have become more and more morose, a feeling that is ridiculous in the extreme given that I am reacting this way because of a stupid unguarded moment from both of us. A kiss. Just a kiss for Gods sake. A kiss that neither he nor I have even attempted to acknowledge; him because I suspect for him it was a sweet but insignificant moment in our lives and me because I am afraid of him telling me that is exactly what it was. And he would say all the right things to me, try to make light of his actions and totally fail to notice me dying inside right there in front of him. So instead I have said nothing and concentrated instead on just trying to get through each day with a man who seems to be content to sit and suffocate me with his unspoken concern.

And suddenly I just can’t take it anymore, I can’t remain in that office for even a second longer without screaming at him, without striking out at him for breaking the rules and blurring the lines and making me feel like the world has ended. Because he is my world and I have been content to love him from within the confines of the walls I have worked so hard to build around myself. Walls, which now threaten to come tumbling down. The pressure that has been building is just suddenly too much and I just can’t do it anymore. Any of it.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Mulder become rigid in his posture as I stumble to my feet, pushing the chair back and wincing at the grating sound of metal against tile.

“Scully?”

His voice is soft, questioning; the underlying concern only barely contained beneath the surface. But I don’t look at him. I can’t.

Instead I grab my heavy winter coat from where it hangs still slightly damp from the morning snowfall I got caught in on my way to work, not bothering to waste time in shrugging it on before I head for the door.

“I don’t feel well Mulder. I’m going home.”

A part of me desperately hopes he will follow me, grasp a hold of my arm and force me to acknowledge him.

But he doesn’t. A glance behind me as I exit the office sees him as though frozen in time, brow furrowed; mouth slightly agape at my sudden departure and it’s only when I am sure that I am alone, when the elevator doors slide shut, do I allow the first tear to fall.

XXXXXXXXX

I finally arrive home just before 11:30 and I’m actually surprised how easy it was to find a cab on the slush covered streets that was available for hire. The weather was set to turn bad later in the day and was in part at least, the reason I had opted not to drive in to work that morning although if I’m honest I was also aware that snow covered roads coupled with my current emotionally confused state was an accident waiting to happen. My cell phone had rung insistently every five minutes or so and eventually, as it’s strident tones filled the warm interior of the cab for the third time and I saw the driver huff in silent annoyance I simply removed it from my pocket and switched it off, feeling just a tiny pang of guilt as Mulders name disappeared and the screen went blank.

I was unsurprised therefore to find, when I entered my apartment, that the small red light on my answering machine was blinking accusingly at me and although my first instinct was to just ignore it while I got changed in to more comfortable attire, by the time I exited my bedroom dressed in worn blue jeans and soft cream cable knit sweater, the guilt at ignoring Mulder had begun to prickle at me in a singularly uncomfortable way. He had left four messages, which by Mulders standards was pretty tame although I could detect a subtle increase in urgency by the time the fourth one began to play; his voice pitched slightly higher, the cadence of his words a little more rapid.

ummm Scully it’s me again...I guess you aren’t home yet but when you get this message.....ah shit forget it. Stay where you are okay?....I’m coming over to you...

I don’t listen to the rest of the message even though I know there is more, because I suddenly feel trapped, panicked even. Because it’s one thing to remain detached from him in a work environment but something altogether different when we are on our home turf; and I don’t want this, I don’t want this to become blown up in to something it isn’t. I just need time alone to get things straight in my head; time alone away from him.

So I do the only thing that makes sense to me amid the confusion that is raging within me– I seek to escape – grabbling my warm parka with the fur-lined hood before stuffing my feet in to my winter boots I exit the apartment before I can change my mind.

XXXXXX

I’m not sure how long I have sat here, just sat here amidst the snow covered shrubs and bushes that have been softened and melded together by the snow that fell briefly but heavily this morning and while the pristine whiteness in the city has already been rendered a dirty grey slushy mess by the DC traffic, here it is virtually untouched – a sparkling white canvas which is breathtaking in its simplicity. This part of the park is slightly off the beaten track, set back from the runner’s routes with a couple of benches that afford an unobstructed view of the lake that is now magically transformed in to a solid sheet of gleaming ice, weak sunshine bouncing off it in almost blinding intensity to reflect back on the untouched virginal snow that blankets the area around it’s edges. And it’s so peaceful here; the snow has insulated this small oasis from the sounds of traffic, of people, of life. Even the birds are silent, no doubt huddled together with fluffed feathers to capture and keep the warm air against their small bodies in the midst of a DC winter. And that thought makes me aware that I am beginning to feel cold despite the down filling in my jacket, and even though it is long enough to reach mid thigh, the cold metal of the bench beneath me isn’t the ideal surface to spend any length of time on at this time of year and a chill is starting to work its way up my back. The logical part of me knows that at some point I will have to return to my apartment and with that knowledge comes a realisation that Mulder will be there, and while he probably won’t presume to let himself in with his key, he will camp outside the door for as long as it takes for me to arrive back. Seven years in his company has taught me many things regarding his character and the man has the stubbornness of a mule with regards to keeping his word. And if he has decided to come check on me, I would find him still sitting there waiting for me hours later. He’s done it before. Today will be no different.

But I don’t know how I can even begin to confide in him the way I am feeling right now, knowing that despite my earlier anger he has no idea what he has done to garner such an extreme reaction from me.

Just a kiss Dana. It was just a kiss. Nothing more and nothing less. And maybe if I keep telling myself that I might even start to believe it.

Yeah. Right.

I swipe angrily at my nose, trying to persuade myself that the sudden urge to sniff is only about the cold and not about the tears that have once again filmed my vision, gathering unbidden and blurring the scene in front of me; and I hate this. This is not me. This is not who I am. Or at least it’s not who I used to be. So I blink quickly, my vision clearing as I feel wetness once again on my face, the tears instantly growing cold in the frigid air, and concentrate instead on the lone swan that is swiping at the soft snow with its long orange beak in an attempt to find a morsel of food to satisfy its hunger.

Bread. I should have brought bread.

And suddenly I tense as a slight weight drops on to my shoulder, an unseen presence behind me whose voice is as familiar to me as my own and infinitely more precious, his hand squeezing my shoulder gently as he speaks softly.

“Did you know swans mate for life Scully? That even though they know that they will be alone if one dies, they still take a chance on each other? That the chance of happiness is worth the potential heartbreak it might bring?”

And then he is right there in front of me, pulling me gently to my feet and resting his gloved hand against my cheek, rotating his thumb to make small circles against my skin. I can smell the leather, warm and fragrant, mingling with the scent of him.

“I suspect” he drops a kiss on my forehead, breathing in to my hair “That we could learn a few things from them” before tipping my head so he can look at me properly.

His expression is intense, his eyes dark green and fathomless, hard to read for most people but not for me.

“Don’t you think?”

Continued chapter 3

#Blurring the lines #my fic #msr

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taz-writes · 5 years

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Since I'm biased towards Slytherins and Gryffindor-Slytherins, could you tell us more about Suenya, Talxin and Nyrene?

Ooh! Yeah I can, but be warned, I could write a whole essay on any one of these characters. This is gonna be LONG, so I’m putting it under a cut for the sake of everyone’s feeds. (Also I’m sorry I didn’t get to this sooner, I don’t know when you sent it but tungle is eating my inbox notifications I guess...)

Nyrene is.... kooky. In the words of the immortal TVTropes, she’s a cloudcuckoolander. Ny is weird and unabashedly so, partially because she’s actually Like That and partially as a tactic to unnerve and disarm the people around her. That’s why I think she’s a Slytherin, her entire gimmick is deception. People don’t lie well when they’re faced with something (or someone) that completely contradicts their understanding of reality. Ny’s one of my oldest non-fairy OCs and her original characterization was a direct manifestation of my most infamous ADHD-fueled manic episodes, if that gives you any idea of what we’re working with here. She probably does have actual ADHD but there’s more to her weirdness than that, she’s deliberately exaggerating stuff and she’s also just a super dramatic person. Very smart, surprisingly emotionally mature, but sometimes flips out over random stuff. Her ethics are questionable.

Underneath the kookiness, Nyrene’s incredibly clever. Her main power as purple paladin is the ability to manipulate time, typically by traveling through closed loops. This takes a ton of coordination, memory, and clever improvisation. She’s constantly keeping a record of everywhere she goes, everything she touches, everything she sees and hears, so that she doesn’t overlap herself by mistake. Paradoxes are potentially lethal, after all. As a result, she can be a bit spacey, which reinforces how weird she is... but you can’t underestimate her. She’s paying attention to everything. Like, she’ll miss being spoken to or miss random information for the sole reason that she’s too busy memorizing everything else. The proof of her intelligence is the fact that she does this successfully and hasn’t broken reality yet. No dead timelines allowed here. In theory, she could jump forward through time or even pause it, but she’s never tried--it’s not safe to mess around with that stuff, the consequences could be even more devastating than those of the closed loops she currently works in.

Way back in the day when I first made these characters, Nyrene and Syzyga had a really close relationship--sometimes I shipped them romantically, sometimes they were just platonic BFFs, but they were always stuck together as a duo. In the current iteration of the story they’re still very close, I think Syz is the only person who really gets what Nyrene’s deal is. Anlied knows in theory that Nyrene’s smarter than she looks, but Syzyga gets it. Syz is also pretty good at making Nyrene calm down when Ny loses her temper or just freaks out about something. They play well together.

Another big part of why Nyrene’s Like That is her origin story, she’s from Nemmonay. Nemmonay is the weirdest setting in the Nymiaverse, it’s basically just one island off the coast of Kelrie, but it’s walled up and has survived attacks by all three of the other realms on the continent. Nemmonay’s home to a lot of pirates and criminals, anyone fleeing the law in another country or who just doesn’t buy into the “system” of normal society. There’s a whole little hierarchy and social order to it, but the Nemmonese system grows out of pure anarchy and things could tip over at any time. Nyrene grew up there as the daughter of a major Nemmonese power family. Her mom is even smarter and more ruthless than she is, Pagala Enkeli is on another level of badass. Pagala also raised Nyrene with um.... with a really questionable set of ethics. I mean, they’re anarchist pirate gangsters, some of that’s just to be expected. Nyrene got her goofball act from her mother and took it up to 11, Nyrene also got her intelligence from Pagala--Pagala’s a chessmaster type and Nyrene is chessmaster junior. Ny knows a ton of different ways to kill people, pick pockets, manipulate a fight, and just generally get what she wants. What she’s lacking in is a sense of social awareness. She reads people like a book but doesn’t understand that she shouldn’t always do that, she has strong battlefield instincts but doesn’t always realize that she can’t punch or time-loop all her problems away. that’s why Syz is good for her. Pagala tried to teach Nyrene manipulation and social savvy, but Ny’s just not that good at it. Everyone’s bad at something.

Soenya’s different...so she comes from a pretty remote area up in northern Sapir. The Sapiran Empire is the biggest realm of Nymia by far, but most of it is very sparsely populated because of how barren and cold it is. Sapir’s got a lot of mountains, a lot of tundra, and only a small handful of places where people could reasonably expect to live the year in one place. I want to take inspiration from IRL northern cultures to start building these remote settlements, I’m still deciding if I want to lean more towards Siberian cultures or American indigenous groups in terms of reference. Either way, the point is, Soenya’s from a tiny place up on the northern Sapiran coast that’s very small and close-knit and cold. Before the Academy she had very little exposure to anything beyond her village/group, and she was one of the only magic users she knew.

She’s uh... she’s enthusiastic about people. Soenya’s a constant flirt, wants to get in everyone’s pants, and if she’s not attracted to you then she’s peppering you with random questions about whatever’s on her mind. She’s nosy and can’t mind her own business. She and Nyrene butt heads a lot because they’re both very strange people, but in different ways--Nyrene is reclusive and likes to be enigmatic for effect, where Soenya is nearly impossible to unnerve, at least not in the way Nyrene likes to unnerve people. Ny doesn’t know what to do when she genuinely can’t freak someone out? And of course Soenya’s noticed this and uses it to mess with Nyrene right back... Soenya’s pretty clever. She’s not that book smart (for reasons explained) but she’s good with people and has strong intuition. She’s got that good good folksy knowledge. She’s also pretty competitive, and she tends to provoke Nyrene’s competitive instincts whenever she gets going, because they just cannot STAND each other. Nyrene doesn’t like that Soenya won’t react to her weirdo act, Nyrene doesn’t like that Soenya keeps flirting with her (and everyone else). Soenya doesn’t like that Nyrene won’t give her a straight answer, and Soenya thinks Nyrene’s behavior means she’s a medical oddity--who’s ever heard of a person going senile by the age of 20?

Soenya’s the paladin of yellow and that gives her some serious trickster instincts. She can control weather (within reason), talk to animals once in a blue moon (elk/deer and rabbits are the easiest bc she grew up around them), and she gets a power boost when somebody underestimates her or doesn’t take her seriously. She’s super annoying in a fight.

I’m still developing Soenya as a character, because her role in the story has changed a lot since her creation--originally she was an antagonist, being mind controlled by the villain from the very beginning and fucking with the heroes all the time. she was also banging the villain (which given the context and character ages is gross and creepy, @past me WTF!!!), and then I deleted her entirely from the story for a while because I didn’t want to deal with the baggage of that original character dynamic. I’ve brought her back because she’s a really fun character and I like her, I want her to be part of the good guy team now, but I’m still figuring out who she is. You know? So pretty much everything I’ve said here could change. All I’m sure about is that she’s still a flirt, just with people worth flirting with, and she really hates Nyrene. (It’s mutual.)

Of the three you asked about, Talxin’s probably the most thoroughly developed, just because he’s a little more straightforward? He’s a beaten-down guy who’s been through shit and who’s fighting to make sure nobody else has to suffer the way he did. Archetypal antihero stuff. He’s brave, and stubborn, and smarter than he looks. He’s also impulsive and reckless, leaving him vulnerable to the darker side of his powers. Talxin’s what you get when I rewatch the Star Wars prequels and get pissed about how cool and morally ambiguous Anakin deserved to be.

Talxin’s small, and for most of these characters’ early development he stays that way in his friends’ minds. Fair warning, his backstory is HEAVY and really dark, and one of the things I’m most worried about in terms of actually executing this story well. He grew up basically enslaved--Elcrin has a really really broken system of generational punishment. Talxin’s grandfather committed a crime, what he did is irrelevant, and so the family line got stuck as “indentured servants” to pay for the crime. Talxin’s dad Temerius was supposed to earn his freedom at age 20, but the owner of the farm where they all worked framed Temerius for another offense to lengthen the sentence and trap his children with him. So Talxin grew up in a horribly broken system, being told that this was justice, while his parents raised him worshiping the colorgod Red as a champion of true justice--all things equal in death. That later became Talxin’s mantra as a paladin. When Talxin was chosen as the red paladin in early childhood, he was attacked by the lord of the farm for having heathen magic, and he panicked and caused a ton of destruction. He got arrested and taken to an actual jail (this all when he was like four years old), escaped a few years later, and he’s been in and out of prison. Being called to the Academy for formal paladin training was a respite, and in his eyes, a chance for a fresh start and the tools to free his family. And then the Academy fell apart and he got sent right back to where he came from.

So what you end up with, after all of this, is a kid with a horribly fucked up traumatic history and a massive amount of power at his disposal. Because redmages are rare and persecuted, Talxin proportionally has a LOT more magic than the other paladins, he’s the strongest one of the lot. He’s got a strong sense of justice and he’s very much willing to kill to make things right--all things are equal in death, after all, and his patron deity is a god of plague and decay as well as justice. And he’s fixated on getting vengeance for the cruel and unjust treatment of his family, who’ve been scattered on the winds during the few years he was at the Academy.

Talxin’s... really, really brave. Brave enough that when he’s sent back to Elcrin after the Academy falls apart he goes right back to the system and starts breaking it apart, rescuing people from the law and stealing shit from the corrupt government and making a big loud mess. In a demon AU I once nicknamed him “frog Robin Hood.” He’s also smart enough to get away with it. He’s a minor antagonist for a little bit, even... he winds up losing control of his magic and going way too far. All of the colors have minds of their own to some degree, and Red is vengeful and destructive and bent towards revenge. Talxin goes on a killing spree, which is fine when he’s killing people who deserve to burn in hell, but he starts hurting innocents too in the process. He loses sight of why he’s fighting, the ideals and morals and drive for justice that led Red to choose him above anyone else. Plagues don’t just stop spreading once they’ve done away with your targets, famines hit the people he wants to protect so much harder than the people he wants to hurt. The other paladins have to step in and talk him down before he starts something he can’t stop. I feel like he’s stuck between Gryffindor and Slytherin in my head because although he’s so daring and brave, he’s also ambitious and willing to do some very unchivalrous things when pushed to the line. He’s got a difficult goal to reach but nothing’s gonna stop him.

As you’d expect from a character with this kind of life story, he’s pretty serious. He’s quiet and keeps to himself, he’s always watching and listening... the main word I’d describe him with is intense. But at the same time, he’s got a great sense of humor when he feels safe enough to express it! He’s sweet and goofy, and he cares so so much about his family and friends and acquaintances and any random stranger on the street who looks sad enough. He also plays fantastic elaborate tricks on people who fuck with him, like, in a modern AU he’s the one who sneaks into your nasty ex’s house just to steal all their toilet paper and the batteries from the TV remotes. And then he leaves the doors open so they waste money on heating. He’s the god of April Fools’. When it comes to his primary objective, he takes himself and everything else very seriously, he’s willing to put aside minor moral issues for the greater good. But if you get him to come out of his angst shell and just be a person for a little while, he’s a genuinely good guy. He’s not quite at Batman levels, there’s still hope for him yet. He’s just lonely and angry and desperate for affection.

Talxin’s very close with Nyrene and Syzyga, out of everyone at the Academy he probably trusts those two the most, but he gets along great with Pariya too once she shows up. He wants to like Soenya but he doesn’t trust her, something about her sets off his internal alarm bells. Anlied scares the living shit out of him. He may or may not have dated Syzyga at some point in the past, they were a couple in past versions of this story but I’m not sure their current iterations are compatible. He’s got an older sister named Elysia, Lyss for short, whom he hasn’t seen since he was very small. He’s been trying to reconnect with her ever since the Academy caved in but she’s nowhere to be found. Nyrene actually finds her first.

So yeah! Those three! They’re a LOT, Talxin in particular is really fascinating to me. Nymia doesn’t really have a protagonist in the traditional sense, but I think Talxin’s the closest to playing that role, as his personal arc drives so much of the story so far. Whether he’s the hero or not, he exerts a major force of change on the world of Nymia, and everything he does is important. The others influence things, sure, but Talxin’s.... he’s that. He’s a big deal. He’s a symbol.

Nyrene’s arguably the most fun to write, though, just because she’s so delightfully weird. It’s entirely in character for Nyrene to do something just because it’s funny, or just to see what happens next. She thrives on other people’s confusion.

#taz talks #nymia #nyrene #soenya #talxin #thanks for asking!!! this was a fun rant to write today #in case you couldn't tell i really love these ocs #they're pretty old too #i think they're nearing their five year anniversary of existing? something like that #i made them near the end of sophomore year of high school #actually they might be turning six soon #WILD #soenya was inactive for at least three years i know that much #just b/c it made me too uncomfy to address the fucked up situations i put her in #she needed that time so i could reinvent her #Anonymous

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allyinthekeyofx · 7 years

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Blurring the lines 2/5

Blurring the lines AllyinthekeyofX TWO Mulder is watching me. Even without looking up I can feel his eyes on me. Can feel the confusion that radiates from him in waves, swirling and eddying around the office space we share and even though I have removed myself to the farthest corner I can – an area that Mulder once referred to as being mine – I know that far away is currently not far enough to escape his scrutiny. Because he knows, just as he knew when I was trying desperately to hide my gradual decline from him when I was in the grip of my cancer, that this is my hiding place, partially separated from each other by a flimsy partition of wood and glass and which offers us a physical barrier, offers us space to breathe. But it didn’t prevent him scrutinising me back then, searching for the slightest sign that I was struggling more than I was prepared to admit and it isn’t preventing him scrutinising me now. We are both confined to desk duty, more for Mulders benefit than mine because although he swiftly divested himself of the sling that was meant to support his injured shoulder, he is in no shape to be out in the field. The wound had been ragged; stitched together just barely at Mulders absolute refusal to entertain any suggestions of grafts and surgery and lengthy recuperation. It would heal, he had insisted, if he scarred he scarred. So he had escaped surgery by a whisker, promising to keep the sling on and his arm elevated for at least a week. His good intentions lasted a scant two days. I didn’t waste my breath arguing against his decision. Over the years I have learned to keep my own counsel – to know which battles are worth fighting regarding his cavalier attitude toward his own health and wellbeing. The days have dragged monotonously for both of us I think and while initially Mulder tried to draw me out of myself, after a while he gave up and became as silent as I have been. Because I can’t bring myself to speak to him – at least not on a personal level and while I politely respond to his work-related queries, he is left with absolutely no doubt that anything else is currently off limits. So instead he just watches me, the silence that stretches between us punctuated only by the occasional rustling of paper, of the muted crack of a shell casing that he has manipulated between his teeth to release the tiny prize within. It’s a sound that, over the years I have come to regard as being uniquely his and I can’t count the amount of times I have awoken in the darkness of yet another anonymous motel room, heart pounding in panic from whichever monster has visited my dreams, to hear the sound of my partner cracking sunflower seeds between his teeth. How often I have felt safe and protected by the knowledge that he is just a few feet away from me; that should I call out to him he would be by my side in seconds, swiftly analysing just what I need from him whether it be by touch or by words he would find a way to affirm that I am okay. To my intense embarrassment my eyes suddenly start to burn and I feel my throat begin to close as the words blur on the report I have been attempting to concentrate my attention on for the past hour or so and not for the first time I realise I am close to unravelling right there in front of him. For exactly what reason I feel like this I am less sure. But as the days have passed since that moment the world celebrated I have become more and more morose, a feeling that is ridiculous in the extreme given that I am reacting this way because of a stupid unguarded moment from both of us. A kiss. Just a kiss for Gods sake. A kiss that neither he nor I have even attempted to acknowledge; him because I suspect for him it was a sweet but insignificant moment in our lives and me because I am afraid of him telling me that is exactly what it was. And he would say all the right things to me, try to make light of his actions and totally fail to notice me dying inside right there in front of him. So instead I have said nothing and concentrated instead on just trying to get through each day with a man who seems to be content to sit and suffocate me with his unspoken concern. And suddenly I just can’t take it anymore, I can’t remain in that office for even a second longer without screaming at him, without striking out at him for breaking the rules and blurring the lines and making me feel like the world has ended. Because he *is* my world and I have been content to love him from within the confines of the walls I have worked so hard to build around myself. Walls, which now threaten to come tumbling down. The pressure that has been building is just suddenly too much and I just can’t do it anymore. Any of it. Out of the corner of my eye I see Mulder become rigid in his posture as I stumble to my feet, pushing the chair back and wincing at the grating sound of metal against tile. “Scully?” His voice is soft, questioning; the underlying concern only barely contained beneath the surface. But I don’t look at him. I can’t. Instead I grab my heavy winter coat from where it hangs still slightly damp from the morning snowfall I got caught in on my way to work, not bothering to waste time in shrugging it on before I head for the door. “I don’t feel well Mulder. I’m going home.” A part of me desperately hopes he will follow me, grasp a hold of my arm and force me to acknowledge him. But he doesn’t. A glance behind me as I exit the office sees him as though frozen in time, brow furrowed; mouth slightly agape at my sudden departure and it’s only when I am sure that I am alone, when the elevator doors slide shut, do I allow the first tear to fall. XXXXXXXXX I finally arrive home just before 11:30 and I’m actually surprised how easy it was to find a cab on the slush covered streets that was available for hire. The weather was set to turn bad later in the day and was in part at least, the reason I had opted not to drive in to work that morning although if I’m honest I was also aware that snow covered roads coupled with my current emotionally confused state was an accident waiting to happen. My cell phone had rung insistently every five minutes or so and eventually, as it’s strident tones filled the warm interior of the cab for the third time and I saw the driver huff in silent annoyance I simply removed it from my pocket and switched it off, feeling just a tiny pang of guilt as Mulders name disappeared and the screen went blank. I was unsurprised therefore to find, when I entered my apartment, that the small red light on my answering machine was blinking accusingly at me and although my first instinct was to just ignore it while I got changed in to more comfortable attire, by the time I exited my bedroom dressed in worn blue jeans and soft cream cable knit sweater, the guilt at ignoring Mulder had begun to prickle at me in a singularly uncomfortable way. He had left four messages, which by Mulders standards was pretty tame although I could detect a subtle increase in urgency by the time the fourth one began to play; his voice pitched slightly higher, the cadence of his words a little more rapid. *ummm Scully it’s me again...I guess you aren’t home yet but when you get this message.....ah shit forget it. Stay where you are okay?....I’m coming over to you...* I don’t listen to the rest of the message even though I know there is more, because I suddenly feel trapped, panicked even. Because it’s one thing to remain detached from him in a work environment but something altogether different when we are on our home turf; and I don’t want this, I don’t want this to become blown up in to something it isn’t. I just need time alone to get things straight in my head; time alone away from him. So I do the only thing that makes sense to me amid the confusion that is raging within me– I seek to escape – grabbling my warm parka with the fur-lined hood before stuffing my feet in to my winter boots I exit the apartment before I can change my mind. XXXXXX I’m not sure how long I have sat here, just sat here amidst the snow covered shrubs and bushes that have been softened and melded together by the snow that fell briefly but heavily this morning and while the pristine whiteness in the city has already been rendered a dirty grey slushy mess by the DC traffic, here it is virtually untouched – a sparkling white canvas which is breathtaking in its simplicity. This part of the park is slightly off the beaten track, set back from the runner’s routes with a couple of benches that afford an unobstructed view of the lake that is now magically transformed in to a solid sheet of gleaming ice, weak sunshine bouncing off it in almost blinding intensity to reflect back on the untouched virginal snow that blankets the area around it’s edges. And it’s so peaceful here; the snow has insulated this small oasis from the sounds of traffic, of people, of life. Even the birds are silent, no doubt huddled together with fluffed feathers to capture and keep the warm air against their small bodies in the midst of a DC winter. And that thought makes me aware that I am beginning to feel cold despite the down filling in my jacket, and even though it is long enough to reach mid thigh, the cold metal of the bench beneath me isn’t the ideal surface to spend any length of time on at this time of year and a chill is starting to work its way up my back. The logical part of me knows that at some point I will have to return to my apartment and with that knowledge comes a realisation that Mulder will be there, and while he probably won’t presume to let himself in with his key, he will camp outside the door for as long as it takes for me to arrive back. Seven years in his company has taught me many things regarding his character and the man has the stubbornness of a mule with regards to keeping his word. And if he has decided to come check on me, I would find him still sitting there waiting for me hours later. He’s done it before. Today will be no different. But I don’t know how I can even begin to confide in him the way I am feeling right now, knowing that despite my earlier anger he has no idea what he has done to garner such an extreme reaction from me. Just a kiss Dana. It was just a kiss. Nothing more and nothing less. And maybe if I keep telling myself that I might even start to believe it. Yeah. Right. I swipe angrily at my nose, trying to persuade myself that the sudden urge to sniff is only about the cold and not about the tears that have once again filmed my vision, gathering unbidden and blurring the scene in front of me; and I hate this. This is not me. This is not who I am. Or at least it’s not who I used to be. So I blink quickly, my vision clearing as I feel wetness once again on my face, the tears instantly growing cold in the frigid air, and concentrate instead on the lone swan that is swiping at the soft snow with its long orange beak in an attempt to find a morsel of food to satisfy its hunger. Bread. I should have brought bread. And suddenly I tense as a slight weight drops on to my shoulder, an unseen presence behind me whose voice is as familiar to me as my own and infinitely more precious, his hand squeezing my shoulder gently as he speaks softly. “Did you know swans mate for life Scully? That even though they know that they will be alone if one dies, they still take a chance on each other? That the chance of happiness is worth the potential heartbreak it might bring?” And then he is right there in front of me, pulling me gently to my feet and resting his gloved hand against my cheek, rotating his thumb to make small circles against my skin. I can smell the leather, warm and fragrant, mingling with the scent of him. “I suspect” he drops a kiss on my forehead, breathing in to my hair “That we could learn a few things from them” before tipping my head so he can look at me properly. His expression is intense, his eyes dark green and fathomless, hard to read for most people but not for me. “Don’t you think?” Continued part three

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