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two-white-butterflies · 9 months

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tolerate it | c16

Description: After a month of breaking up with Charles. You release a song that finally speaks about your experience.

Pairing: charles leclerc/singer!reader

waitingroomcouple2: according to insiders, y/n and longtime boyfriend charles leclerc are headed towards breakupville.

liked by ynupdates and 12,129 others

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asianbutnotjapanese: EXCUSE ME? First Sofia and Joe, Taylor and Joe and now Charles and Y/N?

yakisobaramens2: give me time. i need to process things.

>view 421 comments

"Hey, Charles." you cleared your throat - pretending that you didn't just spend the past hours crying about him.

"I know that I told you that we needed space to think things through, but I don't think that we're happening anymore. I-I somehow, the breakup got leaked and I don't really know how we'll build up from that. I hope that you understand."

Charles finished listening to the voicemail that you sent him 30 minutes ago. He couldn't believe that it finally happened. Sure, you spent half a month fighting with him - but he thought that things would get better after that.

"Are you alright?" Pierre sits beside him with a bowl of ramen. "Ah, yeah." Charles replied - completely out of his zone. He always believed that his life was cut up in two sections: before you, and during you - but he never assumed that there would be an after you.

Jesus, when you've reached heaven - there's only one way left to go: down, and he descended awfully.

"You've been very hush hush about your 'break' with Y/N. Are you back together?" Pierre inquired, concerned about his childhood friend. "That's impossible," Charles mumbled while his friend stuffed his face with more noodles.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." Pierre patted his back.

"- It'll get better." he adds.

Charles_Leclerc: Feeling pretty good in Suzuka.

liked by yourusername, pierreGASLY and 1,291,023 others

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maybeletslovern2: Y/N and Charles aren't over. She's still in the likes guys 🙈 - charlosworld55: and Joe Alwyn still follows Taylor? Ur point is?

lovingthiseasy8: pole for leclerc?

pierreGASLY: Forza! 🇲🇨

>view 912 comments

yourusername: You're so much older and wiser and I. Announcing my newest single "Tolerate It" for the newest 'Barbie' movie that comes in three versions: She Version and He Version and They Version. Basically just diff pronouns. Hope u guys like it. 💙

liked by Charles_Leclerc, billieeilish and 1,928,100 likes

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Charles_Leclerc: Another amazing song! 🔥

ynandcharles: he commented, checkmate guys.

taylorswift: Tears in my eyes, Y/N. 💧

>view 1920 comments

yourusername: there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love. the slowest way is never loving them enough. (wise words from my friend @taylorswift)

liked by landonorris and 2,391,209 others

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lucindaleong2: Lando is stirring the pot by liking this post HAHA

Charles_Leclerc: Reply to my messages please.

taylorswift: You deserve someone who will love you enough. I'm proud of you sister. - yourusername: thank u sm taylor 💙

>view 920 comments

Charles_Leclerc: And if I ever did something wrong, let me make it right. P3 in Spa, but left the circuit feeling like something was missing.

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,290,821 others

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yourusername: Congratulations Charles! You definitely deserved this podium, I've seen you work soo hard to get this spot. 💙 - Charles_Leclerc: 💙

(SIX MONTHS LATER)

yourusername: an hour of mansplaining with this dude...still, i luv u.

tagged: maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, Charles_Leclerc and 1,290,192 others

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maxverstappen1: Is there another pic more blurry that this? 🤣 - yourusername: doesn't matter cuz my love for u is clear 😉

landonorris: The hand 💀 chill mate, she isn't going anywhere.

greeaat99: Charles was Ken (Barbie 2023) but Max is Ken (Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse.)

gigihadid: Rocking that black hair mother ❤️ - yourusername: No, YOU are mother. 😜😍

>view 1029 comments

yourusername posted to her story!

replies maxverstappen1: Am I legally allowed to call you mommy now? yourusername: RIP to ur social media manager who has to look at this message 😭

yourusername: i take this magnetic force of a man to be my. ✨LOVER✨ will be out midnight EST. Happy 4th month babe! tho u always tell me that it feels like we've known each other for forever. Hoping to have an album out before baby jellybean comes out. Which will be ... 7 months from now, though ya'll are nasty telling me that my stomach looks like I'm in the 5th month 😡.

liked by Charles_Leclerc, and 2,192,190 others.

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maxverstappen1: Happy 4th ❤️

Charles_Leclerc: Congrats on the baby! - yourusername: thank u

loverboy9: the way that this could've been charles' baby if they just stayed together 😭

>view 39239 comments

maxverstappen1: I found the love of my life this year, I hope that everyone finds theirs too! My girlfriend's new song 'Lover' will be out on midnight and it would mean the world to us if you listened to it.

liked by yourusername, and 1,299,012 others

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yourusername: OK we'll just adjust our heads to look at this picture - maxverstappen1: and?

yourusername: listen to me pls so max can afford some internet money in his little game

landonorris: I don't listen to underground artists, sorry. - yourusername: LISTEN TO ME. u broke his trophy this is the least that u can do? - - landonorris: ever heard of kintsugi? - - - yourusername: the lana del rey song?

>view 991 comments

yourusername: posting this version because the one on @maxverstappen1's profile is 🤮.

liked by landonorris and 2,191,100 others

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taylorswift: You are GLOWING. - yourusername: I can still make the whole place shimmer.

landonorris: when is baby jellybean coming out? - maxverstappen1: ❤️

charlesandynuniverse: The real ones know that the baby is fathered by Charles. - yourusername: stop this bs, don't wait until i slap the paternity test on ur face 🤣

teachermee91: THE WAY THAT Y/N IS STILL A FIGHTER. I LOVE HER. WAHHAHAHAHA.

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lokisgoodgirl · 1 year

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the rolled up sleeves will never not have an effect on me

thank u for coming to my Ted talk

A gift of the sl-slutty...*wipes brow* slutty forearms?

I'm feeling more myself this morning than I have all week so lemme tell u a tale that no one asked for.

On Friday, my brother in law was staying with us overnight (he showed up at 8am but that's another trauma, still...fucking rude.) - so he and my husband went out in the evening and I did what I am known to do...put on the Loki series and wrote some filth.

They came back about 10pm, and I was getting towards the end of episode three. NOW, connoisseurs will know that episode three features some classic erotic rolling up the sleeves action. As I was trying to concentrate on Mr L tucking up those cuffs, brother in law says "oh, is this the Loki series?" I say... "It is, yes." He goes, "oh... I remember really liking this."

Now...this well meaning fool begins to mansplain Loki to me. 🤣🤣His place in the MCU, his (wrong) backstory. And I'm still pissed of that he had the audacity to spend all day at my house unannounced but I'm trying to be nice so I nod and smile while I can feel my husband lose the will to live with 2nd hand embarrassment for him beside me.

The words, "Did you know Loki's the villain in the first Avengers film" passed his lips- and I was like oh, tell me more BIL. Was that Age of Ultron??

When he finally, mercifully stops, I say "yah, I'm quite familiar with Loki actually" - cue Pikachu face from BIL. "Oh" he says, "have you seen the series before?"

"I have." I say, and husband clears his throat.

"C knows more about Loki than both of us, trust me." he says.

Cue this exact vibe.

Anyway. That awkward silence was followed by THIS SCENE AND THE THREE OF US JUST STARED AT THE TV and i had a little giggle to myself.

In conclusion, thank you for the reminder that Loki's rolled up sleeves are devastating and for making me laugh remembering this tale. Also this pic 👇 is new to me and is genuinely one of the best things I've ever seen 😂😂 his sketches are on par with mine!

For the forearms and to a lesser extent the story : @holdmytesseract @fictive-sl0th @simplyholl @mochie85 @gigglingtigger @ladyofthestayingpower @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @wheredafandomat @mischief2sarawr @muddyorbsblr @littlespaceyelf @lunarnights95 @cheekyscamp @loopsisloops @lovelysizzlingbluebird

#mansplaining loki #Wednesday things #loki

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coochiequeens · 21 days

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If they allowed one TIM in because he had the surgery and legal documents changed then it would open the floodgates to other TIMs in various stages of transition.

Females-only app that banned trans woman says it was creating a 'safe space'

This is the first time a case alleging gender identity discrimination has been heard by the Federal Court.

Roxanne Tickle was issued a birth certificate stating she was female a year after undergoing gender-affirming surgery in October 2019. Source: AAP / Bianca de Marchi

KEY POINTS

Trans woman Roxanne Tickle was banned from female-only social media platform Giggle for Girls.

Her lawyers argue this is discrimination on the grounds of gender identity.

Giggle's barrister Bridie Nolan said the app was created to give women a safe space.

Lawyers for trans woman Roxanne Tickle have argued she is a woman and was discriminated against when she was banned from using a female-only app.

The question of whether someone is a woman is not just biological but also social and psychological, a court has heard on the first day of a landmark trans-rights lawsuit.

Trans woman Roxanne Tickle is suing female-only social media platform Giggle for Girls after having her access to the app revoked in September 2021.

The app and its founder, Sall Grover, illegally discriminated on the grounds of gender identity, Tickle's lawyer Georgina Costello told a Federal Court hearing in Sydney on Tuesday

"The evidence will show that Ms Tickle is a woman," Costello said.

"She perceives herself as a woman. She presents herself as a woman."

'An online refuge'

Giggle's barrister Bridie Nolan said the app was created to give women a safe space, free from "male online digital violence".

Grover experienced sexual abuse during her time working as a screenwriter in Hollywood and had undergone trauma therapy, the court was told.

The app offered a range of ways for users to connect, including finding roommates and engaging socially or romantically.

"The vision was to create an online refuge," Ms Nolan said.

"It would be a place without harassment, mansplaining, d*** pics, stalking, aggression."

Nolan argued the app was not in breach of sex discrimination laws, which allow for "special measures intended to achieve equality".

The app created greater "equality between men and women in public life" by creating a safe space for women online, she said.

Therefore, excluding Tickle, who Nolan argued was a man, would constitute a "special measure" under the laws, she said.

Lawyers for trans woman Roxanne Tickle argue she was discriminated against when she was banned from using a female-only app. Source: AAP / Bianca De Marchi

Costello labelled Giggle's arguments "artificial, after-the-fact justifications" for discrimination against transgender women.

Tickle was issued a birth certificate stating she was female a year after undergoing gender-affirming surgery in October 2019.

Costello told the court in her opening statement that "gender is not merely a biological question, it is partly social and partly psychological".

"Ms Tickle was assigned male gender at birth but she has changed to being a woman and that fact is clear in this case," she said.

Representatives from the Australian Human Rights Commission, including Sex Discrimination Commissioner Anna Cody are assisting the court by providing submissions about the "meaning, scope and validity of relevant provisions of the Sex Discrimination Act".

"The commissioner is not a party to the proceeding and has not made submissions about whether Ms Tickle was in fact discriminated against," the human rights commission said in a statement.

It is the first time a case alleging gender identity discrimination has been heard by the Federal Court.

'Unwilling to tolerate any view contrary to their own'

Supporters for both sides gathered outside the Federal Court for the start of the proceedings, protesting within metres of each other.

Justice Robert Bromwich said the court would not tolerate any "intimidation or harassment" either within the courtroom or outside it.

Protesters against transgender rights gathered outside the Federal Court of Australia in Sydney. Source: AAP / Bianca de Marchi

"I appreciate that the issues from this case give rise to strongly held views and emotions," he said.

Some members of the public had shown they were "unable or unwilling to tolerate the existence of any view contrary to their own", Bromwich added.

Justice Robert Bromwich said the court would not tolerate any "intimidation or harassment" either within the courtroom or outside it. Source: AAP / Bianca De Marchi

In a statement filed with the Australian Human Rights Commission in December 2021, before the Federal Court case was launched, Tickle outlined the alleged discrimination.

"I believe that I am being discriminated against by being provided with extremely limited functionality of a smartphone app by the app provider compared to that of other users because I am a transgender woman," Tickle wrote.

"I am legally permitted to identify as female."

The hearing continues.

Published 9 April 2024 3:56pm

Source: AAP

#Giggle for Girls #Roxanne Tickle is a man #Georgina Costello is pick me girl #Australian Human Rights Commission #Sex Discrimination Commissioner Anna Cody #Sex Discrimination Act #Men using the legal system to undermine women's spaces

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 4 months

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can you believe it, a big larrie post an anon called louis "If you believe all that Louis does and says is really Louis - then you'd despise him too. The fragile masculinity, the racism, the macho man, mansplaining, open homophobia and misogyny, chain-smoking, weed-smoking, excess alcohol, a deadbeat dad with a kid with a white racist like Briana and her despicable family, tory racist girlfriends like Eleanor, systematic bully of lgbtq, BFF with people like Nizam and Jordan." i mean, you are not gonna at least pretend to be a fan of louis?

Larriespeak vs. reality:

• Fragile masculinity = Larrie fantasy: Louis doesn’t wear women’s wear but prefers sportswear => reality: Louis has worn clothes specifically designed for women, specifically designs a unisex line of clothing, has described himself as flamboyant and camp.

• Racism = fantasy: Louis doesn’t work with POC artists => reality: he’s worked with POC songwriters, producers, opening acts. He has POC close friends who are childhood friends, who grew up with him.

• Open homophobia = fantasy: Louis denies Larry and doesn’t wave a pride flag on stage => reality: Louis was the first member of One Direction to defend their LGBT audience, has written clearly LGBT inclusive songs, has worked with queer, nonbinary, transgender musicians, makes his fanbase feel safe and loved no matter who they are

• Weed smoking = fantasy: Louis is a drug addict and Harry is pure => reality: is Harry really pure, when he writes openly about using cocaine and has harmed himself while high on psilocybins?

• Mansplaining = fantasy: Louis talks about his life and art articulately, with complexity, with consistency => reality: Louis talks about his life and art articulately, with complexity, with consistency

• Misogyny = fantasy: Louis had the same girlfriend for eleven years and he doesn’t have any women in his band => reality: Louis has worked with women in songwriting, song collaboration, management (Jesse), make up, styling. He has had multiple female acts open for him. He is interested in nurturing and fostering independent women musicians. His songs show an equal partnership with respect for them as human beings. He has always talked about his partners with respect, and he will defend them publicly.

• Louis smokes and drinks = fantasy: Niall and Liam’s caricature of Louis lying around during the pandemic, wasted => reality: I did not know that smoking and drinking were criminal activities? Louis has incredible work ethic and has arguably been multiple times more productive than any of the 1D men for the past couple of years.

• Louis is a deadbeat dad = fantasy: Louis is not a dad => reality: Louis is a dad. No one comes to dissect Larries’ families under a microscope, and I suspect few of us could withstand a hostile interrogation.

• Louis’ friends = fantasy: Louis shares all the views and actions of his despicable friends, and all the unsubstantiated rumors are true => reality: boy do I have some Harry news for you 😂. Larries invoke Jordan Green, but he was gone from Louis’ employment as soon as the SA allegations arose. Harry, on the other hand, chose to keep a friend who sent a dick pic to a fan, chose to go into business with him.

This is very abbreviated, but the Larrie caricature of Louis is designed to distract from their agenda of continuing a mlm group fantasy and promoting Harry. Their whining is embarrassing and childish. They aren’t fans of actual human beings. Louis isn’t perfect by far, but he’s not the cartoon character they make him out to be, and neither is Harry.

#Larries #larry stylinson

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blessyouhawkeye · 2 years

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did you see the pics on twitter of Ken wearing a ring that looks similar to Tawan’s? probably a coincidence or maybe Vegas really did pencil sleeping with Ken into his schedule asdfsgshsj

oh my GOD that's so fucking funny vegas's dick game must be INSANE. we always say vegas is the embodiment of manipulate mansplain manwhore but it would be nice if he at least TRIED first two before moving on to the third. vegas my guy you're a mafia boss you don't HAVE to manwhore your way into situations

#pete: i heard from a friend of a friend that that dick is a ten out of ten #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #vegas theerapanyakul

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wonderpommey · 2 years

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Roman’s sexism has always struck me as false. A projection of the kind of men he’s expected to be, which has toxic masculinity front and centre. A coat of protection for his sensitive persona.

First off romantically; Logan literally berates him for his attraction to someone with experience, someone he admires, someone who “knows” what they’re talking about… And what about Tabitha and what about Kerry? Whose main characteristics (in the show of course) are literally 1- giving closed loop BJs and 2- being used as a womb/maybe excort? And the way Roman tells Matsson “have you seen who he’s fucking?” as something he knows he has to say but doesn’t really understand. Logan can barely muster a smile when he turns to Roman, seeing how he’s trying, but he just doesn’t get it…

Roman of course who is turned on by a woman superior to him, who knows more, is great at what she does which btw only he can recognise as such, he asks her to castrate him twice “I’m gonna put my dick in your mad scissor hands/you chop my dick off”. How he’s also almost turned on by Rhea/Logan, the idea of her on top. The woman who is about to take Logan’s spot, his power.

But the first time I really clocked it was when he told Shiv “I would’ve mansplained it to you, but I think he did a pretty good job”.

Never EVER has a toxic male called explaining something patronizingly to a women as mansplaining. I mean Kendall just calls her emotional without a second thought and conversely his feminism is completely fake. It’s the guy who goes “fuck the patriarchy” but dismisses Gerri’s ideas and tells Shiv she’s only worth anything because she’s a women, who treats his female council like shit.

Roman has learnt this vocabulary and applies it, in a way that shows it’s completely unnatural. Logan doesn’t describe sausage fest business deals as “all the men got together in men club” or tell their assistants they’re nothing but “sexy secretaries”.

Toxic men just do these things and then placate/patronize women “you won pinkie” / “those poor bitches” / “Shiv, you’re the one I really want”

The way Roman sees all these violent, unbearable things happening to women and he uses it to hurt Shiv because that’s what they do, but it also terrifies him when it comes to Gerri (may take the hit for cruises and his dick pic) and his mother (may be pushed down the stairs by a violent husband because he wants her flat – that’s his takeaway from the cruise stuff; men kill the women they use).

Kendall in many ways is like Logan in this regard, but his need to fight him on a vision of the future means he has to put on the feminism/trans/gay alliance persona, whereas Roman who has to win Logan’s approval denies his feminism/sensitivity, only for it to come back out as a kink and wanting to be dominated/castrated by a woman whom you’re attracted to because you’re impressed by her? A woman who can’t be fertilised by you? The ultimate death at the hands of the “weaker sex”? A woman for whom you’re stepping aside for the top job, because you think she deserves it more? That’s the pinnacle of what is unacceptable to Logan and of course Logan can’t ask if it’s real in any way, he ask a rhetorical “why”, says “it’s disgusting”, “are you scared of pussy”, “is it all screens or up the ass?”, “get straightened out”. Because he senses and fears the answer. The answer is the ultimate fuck off to him, the man who has used and abused women, never giving them their due, condoning their murder, taking children from them for the sole purpose of destroying them.

#welcome to my roman is so sexist that he's an accidental feminist essay #but really though #look at my little frustrated feminist meow meow #roman roy #Logan roy #gerri kellman #shiv roy #succession hbo

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luckycheesefoodie321 · 2 years

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Interceptor (2022) aka Matthew Reilly’s first turn in the director’s chair

Did it feel like a Matthew Reilly film? Yes. Every inch of it. Especially that opening exposition about nuke flight times and interceptors… deffo felt like I was reading a classic MR novel.

Did that mean, as a consequence, some of the dialogue I might forgive in his books felt obscenely clunky in the movie? Also yes. Some of the lines in this just felt so wasteful and delivered so poorly.

Everything about the scenes involving the president and her advisors just was weird and uncomfortable. The line about “half think you’re insane. Half think you’re a rockstar. Luckily I’m in the latter half” and when the President just immediately started making threats to Kessel and cursing him out and not even attempting a diplomatic approach or negotiation was just so left field and unprofessional and just clunky… I wouldn’t have minded the game theorist lines if they’d been trying to like micromanage JJ’s moves and then she finally snapped and had her whole “you haven’t been beaten and shot at. I’m pretty fucking motivated so screw your 14%”… but they kinda were just like “hey we got smart people here. Game theorists. Here to support you gurl!” The 14% would’ve felt way more earned then…

Bc like the whole thing was about her being horribly persecuted for speaking out against sexual assault by a high ranking officer… and other men in the army exploiting old pics of herself… and Kessel’s whole deal was mansplaining the corruption of America and the 1% (as a white male that is part of the 1%)… and if they just piled on to the whole administration trying to control the situation from far away and compiling that annoyance and frustration that she could almost sympathise or at least recognise the validity behind Kessel’s (extremely patronising) monologue… AND THEN STILL DO THE RIGHT THING BY HER COUNTRY… and then finding out dude wasn’t as self-righteous he claimed and was doing it for money and to get rescued… could’ve been v powerful is all I’m saying

All that said, I recognise that this film clearly had a smaller budget, they couldn’t switch between multiple sets and make for more complex scenes and moments in a physical sense so there seemed to be a lot of front loading in trying to keep the focus on JJ…

I really did enjoy this film. Am I critical of it? Yes. But I enjoyed the dynamic between JJ and Kessel. Felt reminiscent of Die Hard, though not as compelling. Maybe a little too much immediate buddy vibes bc it felt like they’d team up rather than be engaged foils that acknowledge each other’s skill and merit but are forced to do battle… like their first convo was a lil too casual considering he merc’d her commanding officer… but they had good banter and back and forth and I appreciated how they tried to read each other’s next moves…

Do I wanna see Matthew Reilly direct more? Yes absolutely. This was clunky but given the parameters he’s working with and it’s his first time directing, I am hoping he can really take from this experience the highs and lows and eventually get himself a Michael Bay budget that he’d always dreamed of… and then just go all out. But his screenplay writing needs a little work. Hit some kinda cliche beats but they only feel cliche bc it’s a movie thoroughly saturated in all of MR’s fave things…

and eventually I wanna see him direct his own Action Thriller adaptation of Ice Station or an Action Adventure of Seven Ancient Wonders… so I’m taking this first venture as a nice stepping stone. A bit of a brain off action movie with a nice straight through line plot…

Also Elsa Pataky and her goddamn arms???? Magnificent. Even with the clunky dialogue I enjoyed her acting. And her fight choreo was great. I wish they’d reduced her husband’s cameos to the one at the start bc it kept taking me out of the film bc all I saw was Thor trying to sell tv’s…

Also also Matt. JJ Collins. JJ Wickham??? Sea Ranger??? Pirate??? Submarine??? The dots are connecting…

#interceptor #spoilers #interceptor 2022 #Matthew Reilly #interceptor movie #Elsa pataky #jj Collins #Chris Hemsworth

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acommonloon · 2 years

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“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” n'est-ce pas

But is it really?

TL;DR

Hadn't had La Fin Du Monde in too long. Lol, still haven't, because that's not what this is - to my surprise. I took my first sip and thought, "WTF." I sent a pic to my kiddo who lives in Belgium. He responded, "Lol I like the name!"

But the name was the problem for me. I'd noticed the green script n'est-ce pas but was not moved to look it up or to examine the bottle more closely to see the other green lettering: Belgian-style IPA.

Oddly, this was the second time in two weeks I'd ended up with a Triple IPA instead of a Tripel Belgian Ale.

At a small brewery in New Albany we were attended by a rather inattentive bartender. She was more attending than tender and mostly attending to her phone. I'd been there previously and had a conversation with a different bartender about their Belgian Tripel. I was pleased to see it was still on.

So this time I just asked for the Tripel. When I I took the first sip I thought, "WTF!" I knew it wasn't the beer I ordered so I scanned the list and notice they had a TIPA. That stands for Triple IPA. D said, "Just tell her to get you what you want." No, technically she wasn't wrong bringing me a Triple but an experienced bartender would have asked me to clarify the Triple or the Tripel.

At some point she asked me about the beer (points to her) and I said, "It's good, I meant to order the Belgian Tripel though." She looked confused, looked up at the board, and replied, "Well actually that's pronounced TripPel." She said the last syllable so it rhymed with bell. I didn't reply but when she walked off I looked at D and said, "No it isn't."

I didn't want to be annoyed by this. I didn't want to be the mansplainer. I didn't want this bartender to embarrass herself. Mostly I didn't want her to give people the wrong beer. Still, many times in my life I "Knew" something only to find out I was wrong so I texted my kiddo. He responded, "I'm with Belgians now I'll ask.

....the Belgian brewer I'm with said it's just like triple."

I didn't mention it to the bartender but I asked her to fill me a crowler of the "Belgian" Triple to take away and said it like triple. She gave me the correct beer without comment.

Back to the first beer with the name. La Fin Du Monde which I believe means "The End of the World." I never knew that but my kiddo had replied that the beer label is basically saying "It's not The End of the World."

Google says n'est-ce pas questions "is it or is it not, yes or no" or as the old English guy might say "To be or not To be."

<sigh> getting a triple IPA when you wanted a Belgian tripel is not the end of the world or even outrageous fortune.

The pay off: if you've read this far (get a life) I still wasn't "SURE" I knew the whole truth of this issue triple vs tripel so I pulled up google translate French to English.

When I clicked on the little speaker symbol under the French block a woman's French voice said, "trip el" with the accent on the "el" and it sounded like bell. OMG WTF!

Then I clicked on the English side and an English woman said,

"Try pul"

Anyway...

#it is what it is #triple or tripel #not a rose by any name

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cherrycelsius · 11 months

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+ another 50 things i love about you (freak nsfw edition kind of. these are just the more unhinged ones or ones i'm too ashamed to admit/put in the og)

1. it gives me strong satisfaction when you pull sexual jokes with me because it gives me war flashbacks of when ivory used to complain about you not being sexual with her 😇 i'm a petty, vengeful girl.

2. not only that, i kinda love u being sexual with me it makes me feel things.

3. the way in the bdsm test you're submissive and i'm dominant and i just think it makes so much sense like yassss let me dominate you

4. when we're both into bondage LMAOO let me tie u up bbg

5. and that we're both into exhibitionism,,, like ok freak. you're such a freak.

6. "he ate her out in the shower before this but okay" "ok when we recreating 🤨"

7. every time you call me a slut or a whore..... do not ask. please.

8. when i say my ass or back hurts and u say sorry.

9. like yeah it's ok u can break my back any time you'd like, i'll let u. go ahead.

10. & when you say fuck you and i say when

11. and vice versa honestly.

12. the way i would let you fuck me honestly.

13. the way you'd just randomly send a fucking porn edit in the middle of a conversation

14. i remember vividly talking about my mother and you sending a porn edit of ashley and leon inside the church

15. when you go along with me being a freak........

16. even better when you get flustered when im being a freak, you're adorable. i'm into u.

17. when u channel ur inner dark daddy dom persona and it scares the shit out of me

18. those moments where you're so in character in being a dark daddy dom that sometimes i'm appalled u have the capacity to be that lewd

19. like what r u on about calling me kitten and asking me if my kink is pulling eyes out with spoons? i love that truly

20. the fucking vecna roleplay stunt you pulled on me. that was traumatising. but i loved it.

21. when we'd freely be talking about porn and you telling me you've already seen it like bro? horny much?

22. when you asked me to get off of xvideos and i had to do a double take because how the fuck did you know it was xvideos?

23. the aeon nsfw pics you send me. ah.

24. that one ashley x leon pic we have pinned on discord

25. THE LEON KENNEDY FANART U WERE OBSESSED WITH A FEW MONTHS AGO WITH HIM BEING TIED UP AND BEING USED AS A GLORY HOLE OR WHATEVER U CALL

26. the mcdonalds x burger king nsfw art you used to always send me.

27. when you said you'd let ME bite YOUR ass even if i wasn't a fire ant, i thought it was so funny.

28. you'd let me suck your dick inside a horror house i think that's peak soulmatism

29. "go rougher next time i want my intestines out my body" amen

30. sometimes u say shit that makes me horny i'm acyually going insane

31. that one point in our relationship where there were pegging allegations.

32. and u were leaning into it. and im the one allegedly pegging you

33. every time you'd send me those fake niche messages that are so us and sometimes i get scared that i got hacked bc it's totally some shit we'd say.

34. when we match models idk why but it just is so adorable, you're adorable.

35. these really specific moments where i just wanna kiss you really hard

36. for example when you're mansplaining something to me and you get so into it and i get this feral urge to

37. yeah. i find it sexy. i'm into nerds.

38. SPEAKING OF NERDS when you panic in your games and immediately pause, that's adorable.

39. the way you would pause the game you're currently playing and i automatically prepare my keyboard in case you're typing something

40. when you let me watch you edit and i can see the way your brain works while you edit. i love that.

41. when you fall asleep after i tell you to sleep and i start missing you as if i didn't ask you to sleep in the first place

42. and sometimes when u wake up after i miss you ijust wanna squeeze u virtually until u die.

43. every time we'd be arguing in plato and you'd get turned on by the voice in bingo.

44. when we're talking about our feelings and get to be vulnerable around each other and i feel like i could genuinely be myself around you and it'd be okay

45. when you told me you're uncomfortable with telling people you love them but you make sure to tell me that you love me everyday :(

46. your sexy edit u made me amen

47. your big brain

48. dick

49. pussy

50. ass. that is all.

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izukult · 3 years

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haikyuu boys and icks (pt 2)

requested by the fav @angefleur sorry this literally took me months.

haikyuu boys are just that!! boys!! they are disgusting, i hate them. here they are as / with icks

characters: hinata, kageyama, oikawa, sugawara, yamaguchi, tsukishima, bokuto, akaashi, iwaizumi, matsukawa, hanamaki, kuroo, kenma, tanaka, nishinoya, daichi, atsumu, lev

hinata shoyo; i’m so sorry but he wears tighty whities lol— don’t have much else to say about this, but sometimes if he bends down to pick something up you see them😕

kageyama tobio; awful, awful grammar— i know they don’t speak english and i don’t know the japanese equivalent to this, but he gets you’re/your, too/to/two, they’re/their/there wrong all the time. it’s hideous. “your good” “yea i thought so to” “there stupid lol”

oikawa toru; owns an eat, sleep, game shirt— he doesn’t even actively game, he bought it because “he plays volleyball games”. it’s disgusting and he wears it with pride.

sugawara koushi; talks really tough but cowers away if he’s called out— he’d been too loud for the small store and you both knew it, but he’d told you he simply didn’t care. that was until the store manager came over and he’s awkwardly standing in his place, cheeks heating up as he gets lectured while he stutters out a bunch of apologies, saying he didn’t mean it.

yamaguchi tadashi; “keep your eyes on me”— if someone he cares about is going though like an anxiety attack or anger, he does “the speech”. i don’t think he means to be repulsive, but it is. “guys! i can help them! i can fix them!” no.

tsukishima kei; sighs really loud on purpose— whenever he’s mad and really wants you to know about it, he’s gonna practically scream a breath. if you don’t react the first time, he clears his throat a little and does it louder, his whole upper half moving with it.

bokuto kotaro; gets really angry when you tell him about bad things— you’d just told him a shitty thing you’d gone through and he’s fuming. but not just angry for you— he’s shaking in his boots, face red and hands balled into fists as he starts basically threatening a wall

akaashi keiji; mansplaining everything— oh my fucking god. it doesn’t matter what it is, even if you know it, even if you studied it, even if you have a goddamn phd in it, akaashi is going to tell you how it works as if you don’t know. so annoying.

iwaizumi hajime; orders for you at a restaurant— you don’t ask him to and you don’t even have the chance to say your answer. when your waiter asked if you wanted anything to drink, he immediately said two waters before carrying on with his convo. doesn’t even realized he came off an ass?

matsukawa issei; sends you a bunch of vape tricks— you didn’t ask, you don’t care. but he’s sending you really shitty o’s and banes as if you want it. and he thinks he’s hot shit about it, too.

hanamaki takahiro; shouts names of basketball players to throw away trash— he gears up to do it and makes a big deal about it before he does. if it were america, he’d say kobe as he shoots for the trash can, but then he awkwardly shuffles when he misses, walking over to pick it up and actually throw it away.

kuroo tetsuro; freestyles for you and makes you listen— he gets off the charts bothered if you laugh or show any indication of not liking it. it’s super uncomfortable and you’re both just sitting in his room. you’ve been completely silent for the past nine minutes, while he repeats himself.

kenma kozume; gets embarrassed mad— if someone proves him wrong on something he was actually trying to talk about, he’s coming up with excuses and denying every reason he was ever slightly wrong. will also throw an insult.

tanaka ryunosuke; his camera roll is full of fuck boy selfies— face in his pillow, collarbones in bed, shirtless mirror pics, etc. and posts almost all of them on a private story called “elite baddies🥶🔥” that has literally everyone on his snap

nishinoya yu; can be a huge pick me boy— has definitely sent multiple people “but i’m too ugly for a girl like you🥺🥺” shut your fucking mouth noya, yes you are. it’s not his whole personality because he is pretty confident, but he definitely has his awful moments.

daichi sawamura; sends working out vids— he’s doing push-ups in his room, and in theory you’d thought it would be really attractive. but his form is off, and for an athlete he sure is out of breath and you can tell he’s struggling.

miya atsumu; asks his mom to go somewhere and when she says no he starts crying— he’s full out sobbing at this point, throwing his hands up as he complains about how unfair she’s being. he begs, too, trying to bargain ways to go with extra acts of service.

lev haiba; constantly gets pranked with the placebo effect— his friends will hand him something and tell him it’s alcohol, and he’s wincing at how it burns. thirty minutes later and he’s laughing his ass off, covering his mouth as he goes “guyssss, i’m not drunk” with a slur on his words.

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nashibirne · 3 years

Text

Where The Wild Roses Grow - An August Walker Story - 3

You can find the previous parts on my masterlist

Pairing: August Walker x OFC (Fern) Summary: Don't screw the crew? This doesn't work for August Walker Warnings: Smut, Sex, 18+, NSFW, unprotected sex, rough sex, slapping, kinda soft August Unbeta'ed! English is not my mother tongue, so please be lenient with me

Disclaimer: I don't own August Walker (but he owns me...)

Pics for the header taken from Pinterest.

Taglist: (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @madbaddic7ed @artandotherdelights

~~~~

Chapter 3

Fern

So, today's the day. I'm going on a date. The first in I-don't-know-how-long. Two years, three years, I don't remember. After my long time relationship with Max went down the drain I didn't want to date and here in London there was just no opportunity. To be honest I'm quite nervous. I mean, I don't know much about Lucas and I haven't interacted with a lot of people since I'm in London. Actually just with my neighbor Sloane and her wife Jackie, who are very nice and we have a little chat from time to time and with Peter and August and our clients of course. But that's it. That's pathetic you say? Yeah, maybe you're right but that's just the way it is and it's okay. Basically I like my life the way it is, I love my work, I enjoy my affair with August but deep down inside I crave intimacy, tenderness and a life outside the office. So I'm really looking forward to this date and to getting to know Lucas a little better.

I'm sitting in my car right now. I'm ten minutes early so I have enough time to check my make-up -I think I look alright- and to straighten my clothes. I get out of my car and check my reflection in the metallic paint of my Classic Mini Cooper. I'm wearing a light blue summer skirt, a plain white sleeveless shirt and white loafers. I considered wearing the blue dotted dress but I can't wear it without thinking of August so it wasn't really an option.

I lurk around the corner and there he is. Lucas is waiting for me at the entrance of the museum, checking his watch repeatedly. He looks good with his blond hair and the blue eyes, not extraordinarily handsome like August but attractive. A John Doe but in a good way. Okay, guess it's time to go. Wish me luck!

There was really no reason to be nervous, Lucas is really nice and charming, the perfect gentleman. He knows a lot about art and I love how he shares his knowledge with me but never mansplains. He's not a bit arrogant or bossy, unlike many other men. August for example. Speaking of which, I think I spend too much time with him. When Lucas and I were walking around the museum I thought I saw August from the corner of my eye. Twice! I must be hallucinating or something.

Right now I'm standing at the souvenir shop waiting outside for Lucas who wants to buy a present for his son Milo who lives in Liverpool with his mum, Lucas' ex-wife. We're done with the exhibition and he asked me if I want to have a coffee with him in a cafe nearby. I said yes. I really enjoy his company and it feels so good to finally do something that has nothing to do with my work.

A loud noise suddenly startles me. It sounds like someone has dropped a glass that's smashed to pieces. I spin around quickly to localize the noise source and that's when I see him. It's really him. August Walker in the flesh, standing behind a pillar, watching me.

I stare at him, surprised, or to put it more precisely, stunned. What the hell is he doing here?

He gives me a nonchalant smile and strolls in my direction as if it was the most natural thing to meet me here.

"Fern. What a lovely surprise."

Is he kidding me? Lovely? He never uses words like this, they are not part of August Walker's vocabulary.

"August. What are you doing here?" I don't feel the need to exchange polite phrases.

"Enjoying the exhibition."

"Oh really?" I cross my arms in front of my chest.

"Yes. Why would you doubt it?" He smiles innocently and it makes me mad.

"Because you're not interested in art."

"Well, I am now."

"I took both tickets because you said you didn't want to go." I point out.

"I changed my mind and bought a ticket."

I take a deep breath and roll my eyes. I can't even explain why I'm so annoyed by the fact that he's here.

"So? Where's your date?" he asks en passant.

Now it dawns on me.

"Is that the reason you're here? Are you spying on me?"

August's face hardens and he looks at me with a frown. "I'm not spying. I'm just keeping an eye on you."

"I don't need a babysitter, August."

"You don't know anything about the guy, Fern. He could be dangerous."

He comes one step closer and is standing right in front of me now, our bodies almost touching.

"He's not dangerous. He's a teacher at a primary school."

"That's what he says." He almost whispers. It's ridiculous.

"Why would he lie to me?"

"Because maybe he wants to cover up his true identity."

I laugh out loud. "Like what? Like an undercover agent or something. You think he's after you?"

August gives me a death stare, his lips pressed together to a thin line. "Exactly. And he wouldn't be the first." His voice is only a low growl. "I mean, come on, Fern. He sees you for what -5 minutes maybe?- and asks you out? Can he really be that smitten by you?"

I stare at him, his words cut right into my heart, and I try to hide it by being even more sarcastic than usual.

"Oh, you mean you find it more likely that he's a spy, sent by the government to get to you, than the simple thought that he's attracted to me and therefore asked me out? Wow, I mean, that's flattering, August. So basically you're saying I'm so uninteresting that it's not a realistic scenario that a man meets me and wants to date me?"

"That's not what I meant, Fern. All I'm saying is…"

"Hi." I freeze when I hear Lucas' voice. I step back to bring a little space between me and August and turn around.

"Lucas. Did you find something for Milo?"

"Yes. I did." He gives August a funny look and things are getting pretty awkward. I clear my throat.

"Um, Lucas. This is my boss. August Walker. We just bumped into each other."

"Lucas Bellingham. Nice to meet you." Lucas gives August a nod and August gives him a forced smile in return.

"Yeah. Nice to meet you."

I can't believe he used to be an agent, since he's such a bad actor.

"Well, I'll leave you to it. Fern, see you on Monday."

"Sure."

He leans in, grabs me by my elbows and kisses me goodbye french style. Two times. Right. Left. Mua. Mua. What the fuck? After the second innocent peck on my cheek I feel his breath hot against my ear. "You look hot in that skirt. Be a good girl and wear it on Monday."

His soft words sent shivers down my spine and at the same time I'm fuming with anger.

All he can expect from me on Monday is a cold shoulder and a lecture.

August

Okay, that monitoring operation on Saturday didn't go exactly as planned. I guess I'm a little out of practice. Of course Fern wasn't supposed to see me nor was her date. Lucas Bellingham. A boring name for a boring guy. I checked his record, of course I did. How, you ask? I'm sorry but I can't tell you. If I would I'd have to kill you.

Hey, don't be so shocked, I'm just kidding. Really. Relax.

Anyway, I have ways and means to do a background check on someone and Lucas seems to be legit. On first sight that means. I told Pete to dig a little deeper, just to be sure. He has his ways and means too. I promised Fern she'd be safe with me when I hired her and I'm a man of my word. I'm not going to expose her to any kind of danger. And no matter what she says, it definitely is possible that someone is sending an undercover agent to spy on me or Peter. Could be the US authorities or the MI5 or someone from my past, there's no lack of enemies, I've pissed off a lot of people and I know one day I will regret it. You know what they say. Karma is a bitch.

Well, here she comes.

"Good Morning, Fern."

"Morning."

Okay. A look that could kill and no skirt. Tight black jeans and a turtleneck sweater. All buttoned-up. Okay, woman, I get it. You're mad at me. She goes straight to her office and I follow her and sit down on the edge of her desk. She doesn't even look at me but starts typing something into her computer.

"Are you alright?"

"Of course I am."

"Really? You don't even look at me."

She takes a deep breath before her eyes meet mine.

"Just stay out of my way today, August."

I know I should take the hint and leave her alone but I can't. I don't take orders. Not from her, not from anyone anymore. I'm the one in charge, she should know that.

"What if I don't want to?" I give her a smug smile.

"I don't care what you want. Just fuck off."

"Woman." I growl. "Who do you think you're talking to? I'm still your boss."

"Then let me do my work. Boss." She holds my gaze and I know I'm going to lose any kind of staring contest with her so I decide to change my tactics. I hop off her desk and sit down in a chair.

"I just don't get why you're in such a bad mood." I try to smile and I have a feeling that it makes me look like an idiot. Fern furrows her brows. "Oh really. You have no idea?"

"Is this about Saturday?"

"Yes, you bloody genius, of course it is. Your behaviour was beyond the pale."

"My behaviour? I was visiting an exhibition. Just like you."

"Don't give me that, August."

I stare at her. What does she want from me? I did nothing wrong goddamn.

"I was just trying to protect you, Fern. You tend to trust people too easily."

Her eyes shoot daggers at me and god, that's so sexy. Why the hell isn't she wearing that bloody skirt like I told her?

"People like you, you mean?"

Ouch. That hurts.

"I don't need you to protect me, okay? Not in a situation like this. Fuck, August. It was just a date with a harmless guy in a public place. What was he supposed to do? Kidnap me? Murder me?"

I don't know how to respond to this so I just shrug it off but the way she looks at me tells me she expects me to say something.

"I was just trying to keep my promise, Fern. You know I guaranteed your safety and I guess you have no idea how many people want to see me dead. You never know what they are up to and when someone new appears on the scene I get suspicious. This has nothing to do with you. It's just me and maybe I overshot the mark." The next words are the hardest part but I know if I want her to wear a skirt or dress ever again I have to say them. "I'm sorry."

Her face softens a little.

"Just don't do it again, August. My private life is none of your business."

I nod and I really want to know if she's going to see him again but I don't ask.

The next few days totally suck.

Tuesday: blue jeans and a cold shoulder. Shit.

Wednesday: skinny jeans and distant behaviour. Goddamn.

Thursday: A jumpsuit and a little smalltalk but not much more.

She's driving me crazy and she knows it. If she keeps on acting so stubborn she must not be surprised if I don't want her anymore. Ah fuck, who am I trying to fool. Truth is I want her more than ever. I want to fuck that distant look off her face. I want her to moan my name. I want her to obey. To give in. To acknowledge that I'm in charge.

On Friday I don't expect much, but to my big surprise and relief she shows up wearing the blue dotted dress she wore when I took her for the first time. I give her a glance when she walks past my office with swaying hips and she returns it. She even smiles at me.

Okay, I have to get rid of Peter. Asap. I go to his office and close the door behind me.

"August?"

"Peter. Go home."

"Excuse me?"

"Leave. Work from home today."

He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms with a frown.

"Why?"

"Because I say so."

He snorts and turns to his laptop again.

"Fuck off, August."

I roll my eyes and sigh.

"Please." I say through clenched teeth. "I need some time to talk to Fern."

"Talk, huh?"

"We had a little fight the other day and now it seems she's willing to forgive me." I know I sound desperate and Peter looks at me again. "Yeah. I know about your visit to the museum. And you think you can get back into her pants today."

She told him about it? This takes me by surprise. But I don't say a word and he knows me well enough to interpret it as a yes.

"You know my opinion on your little affair."

"I do and you know it's none of your business."

"Right." He hesitates and scratches his chin. "Well, do what you think you have to do. I'm going to have breakfast in the little cafe around the corner and try to get the number of the hot waiter. You have an hour." He gets up and grabs his wallet and his phone.

"Thanks, Pete."

"I'm not doing this for you, August. I'm doing this for our business and my future. If you and Fern don't talk you can't do your job properly and this could ruin everything we have built up yet. So get your shit together and return to normal. Whatever it takes."

He leaves and I can tell he's pissed but well, he's gone and that's all that matters. I go straight to Ferns office and now that I'm standing right in front of her I'm so aroused and full of anticipation I feel like I'm about to explode with lust and I'm sure I look like a predator. She looks at me and slowly stands up.

"You've been a really bad girl." I growl.

"Is that so?" She bats her lashes innocently. Oh, her audacity.

"Yes." I murmur. "You kept me waiting for four days."

"You deserved it." Heavens, she's really a challenge.

"I'm gonna show you what you deserve, woman."

Two wide strides and I'm standing right next to her. I grab her by her waist, spin her around and bend her over her desk before I lift her dress and rip her panties into shreds. I press her down with one hand between her shoulder blades and unzip my trousers with the other. My dick is so hard it hurts. I don't waste time. I enter her without any kind of preparation or the slightest hint of foreplay. I wanna punish her by being raw and ruthless but she won't let me. She is wet. So fucking wet and she takes me as well as usual. Sighing with lust when I stretch her pussy. Moaning when I start to fuck her deep and fast. I let out a moan too. "You're so wet. You've been looking forward to this." I hiss into her ear while railing her so hard that the desk moves under us. "I've been all wet since the moment I put on the dress." Her voice is dripping with desire. "I've missed your dick so much."

I keep on fucking her with long, deep movements and when I slap her ass out of the blue she cries out my name. "August." She likes it, oh yes she does. She likes it a lot. I can tell by her moans that get even louder. I've never done this before though I wanted to, but I was scared she might not like it or think I'm a perv and tell me to fuck off. I move faster and we are both gasping and panting like never before. I'm close and so is she. I can feel it.

"Again." She begs. Oh how I like the sound of it.

"What did you say, pretty?"

"Again. August. Please."

"Do you think you deserve it?"

"Yes."

"You want it?"

"Yes."

"Say it."

"Slap my ass, August. Please."

She's a whimpering mess now and I slap her again. Harder this time. She shrieks and it sounds incredibly hot. I go on and on and after the fifth slap I feel her come. Her walls clench around me and her legs shake. "Fuck...oh god. August…" Her sweet little cunt milks my cock and when I cum too I throw my head back and sigh her name softly till my orgasm is over. I press a kiss on her back and give her ass a few gentle strokes to sooth the pain. I bet it stings, her cheek is crimson red. I pull out reluctantly. I feel the strange urge to stay inside of her but I fight it. She turns around and looks at me with a smirk. She licks her lips and it's obvious how much she's enjoyed this.

And so have I.

I enjoyed it and I've missed it.

I've missed her.

#august walker #august walker smut #smut #august walker x ofc #august walker fan ficiton #henry cavill #henry cavill fan fiction

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