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westafricanboys · 2 years

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Gay expirience in West Africa (Gambia , Sierra Leone)

I was a twenty three year old Australia guy, bumming it around South and West Africa on an extended holiday. I had little money, however could usually find a good time wherever I went.

The two mates I was travelling with had been together for a couple of months when I joined them about six weeks ago and we all got on well together. Michael was from southern England and was a good looking guy with the usual smooth pale skin, sandy hair and good body, as he played a lot of soccer at home. Mike, who was about 24, was well educated, but lacked the so called street skills of survival that our other friend Jose had, Jose was from somewhere in New York and had been brought up to know how to survive on the streets. He was a good-looking Porto Rican guy, 21 years, who had dropped out of college after a year and a half and had started to travel. As I said, we had been together for about six weeks travelling up the west coast of Africa, and had originally met up in Cape Town. We had enjoyed the scenery, the people and a bit of good diving on the west coast of South Africa and Namibia.

My real story starts as we were heading northwest from the Ivory Coast, through Guinea and into Sierra Leone. Our plan was to get to Freetown for a few days and then travel north up the west coast of north West Africa.

We each had Honda bikes, which we had bought in Cape Town. It was cheap travel and you could see a lot of country as you drove. Some roads were good, however most were very bad and we had to be very careful as we travelled, as that part of Africa was not the safest place in the world to be. We usually camped in the scrub and washed in whatever rivers or streams were available. I used to get quite turned on watching Mike and Jose skinny dip. One was so white and other, Jose, was quite dark and so well hung. I would love to have seen his cock hard. It would have had to have been at least two to three inches longer than mine and I'm 7.5' thick and cut. Mike, I guessed, was about the same as myself, however was not cut, the same as Jose. Both guys were smooth skinned not like me as I had a hairy chest. We were all very fit and our bodies well toned. We played real man type games while swimming, with the occasional grope, but all acting very straight. It was pity, as I would have loved to be fucked by either of them, and even slip a length into either tight butts, but I guessed that was not to be. I would have to satisfied with jacking off when I could sneak off into the bush to shit.

We were about one hundred kilometres from Freetown, just passed a place called Yonibana and heading into some very hilly and heavily timbered country, when we where stopped by a group of young black men in their early twenties. They were all dressed in those camouflaged type trousers with boots and no shirts. All were big guys and looked really fit, as their chests were well defined and muscled As we did not want any trouble we did everything they asked. A couple of them could speak English and they informed us that their leader wanted to meet us. It was all very friendly, so we were not all that alarmed at that time. It wasn't until they got our bikes onto the back of the truck that things started to get rough.

A very tall and solid black guy ordered us into the back of the truck with our bikes. Jose, in his usual smart ass way asked why. With this the big guy ordered his followers to throw us into the truck, binding our hands together in front of us and then tying the rope to pipe frame above our heads, so that our arms where stretched upwards as we stood in the back of the truck. The rest of the ten or twelve black guys all climbed aboard and sat around the edge of the truck as we headed off into the dense bush. A couple of the black guys started touching up Mike. They were saying something about a pretty white boy, but I couldn't quite understand. I did notice that Mike was getting a bit excited as he had quite a lump in his trousers. Even though most off these guys were young and quite good looking with no shirts and well muscled bodies, I was far too scared to get in the slightest bit excited sexually.

We had been travelling for about twenty minutes when the truck stopped.

Four of the black guys got out to piss. The three guys that had been touching up Mike again got interested and with the encouragement from some of the others, undid his zipper and pulled down his jeans and his underwear, exposing his growing cock. He face was bright red with embracement, and although he was as scared as we were, his cock just kept getting harder. One of the well built black guys stood up, pulled out his big soft black cock and started to jack it off, teasing Mike as he did so.

One of the other guys walked up to Jose and myself and grabbed us both in the crutch and said something that I did not understand. The rest of the group thought it was very funny as they all fell around laughing. One of the three started to jack Mike off. The guys that were pissing got back in the truck and we again headed north, but the guy jacking Mike continue with the wild encouragement of the rest of the group. I could see that a few of the black guys were also getting excited as their cocks started tenting their trousers. The guy who had pulled out his cock in fun was now nearly fully hard. A couple of them pointed to me and one guy lent forward end undid my belt and the zipper on my jeans, pulling them down to expose my thickening cock. The guy next to him then did the same to Jose. As his monster was revealed there were big hoots and whistles and a couple of the guys grabbed his cock and gave it a couple of tugs. The black guys all started pointing to the big guy at the front of the truck, pulling out Jose's cock. I think they were trying to get this guy to compare size. He shook his head, but they kept on at him until he stood up, walked up to Jose, unbuttoned his trousers and pulled out a real monster cock. I don't know if it was bigger or not than Jose's, but it was real black, thick and heavy with big veins. He grabbed his and Jose's cocks docking then together with both foreskins together and started to jack them. The rest of the guys went mad. Someone stuck his finger up my arse as the big black looked at me and said in rough English and a toothy grin 'You like?' He must have known I liked as my cock was getting very hard. He reached down with his other hand and started to jack my cock. Jose looked at me with a slight grim of his face. He was loving this.

The action was just starting to get very hot when we pulled into an opening in the timber and a few huts. Another ten or so guys came out to meet the truck. As they did, the guys in the truck put their cocks away and did up their trousers. We unfortunately had to stand there with our hands tied above our heads and our jean around our ankles and our cocks still quite hard. They all stood around pointing and laughing for about a minute, when a very tall and extremely well built and handsome guy came out of the big hut at the end of the clearing. The talking and laughing subsided as he approached and he said something to the truck driver, who answered him.

The big guy then said something to the whole group and they all pointed to Mike. The big guy laughed and gave an order. With that four guys jumped up onto the back of the truck and undid Mike and dragged him off the back and into one of the huts followed by most of the men. It wasn't hard to work out what was going to happen to Mike. The big guy then barked another order and a stack more guys jump up on the truck and undid both mine and Jose's ropes from the canopy frame and lead us off the back of the truck and into the big hut at the end of the clearing.

The big black leader then joined us and I asked in a very shaky voice what he was going to do with us. He informed both Jose and myself, in very good English, that we were going to stay with him and his friends for some time and that we, Jose and I were to be his official masturbators. Someone translated this and the whole room of black guys burst into laughter.

He then barked another order, and we were striped of all our clothing and shoes. He then told us that to venture out of the hut with no shoes would be a great mistake, as the thorns around the camp would not only cripple us but would also poison our bodies. With this the ropes around our wrist undone and we stood there beaten and very scared.

He barked another order and all but four of the biggest black guys left the hut. Both Jose and I were taken by two guys each and lead off to the corner where we were each doused with water and washed by the guards. We were then lead back into the centre of the hut where we found the boss guy stretched out on a bed with his boots and trousers off and his big cock sticking out of his bright red boxers. He said 'One of you guys are going to suck my cock and the other is going to suck my balls. Please yourselves.' We stood dumb founded, when he pointed to me. 'You suck this!' I was then pushed to my knees by the two guards.

He had a magnificent cock and I was very much looking forward to sucking all the cum out of it. I peeled the thick, long foreskin back down to reveal a big plump pink cock head. I bent and licked the big drop of pre cum off the cock slit and milked another large drop from his thick cock.

Jose was pushed down to the big hairless balls that hung under this magnificent piece of meat. He eagerly sucked on one of those great eggs as I devoured as much as I could his great cock. Jose smiled at me and whispered that I should have told him that I liked this sort of action as he had been wanting my cock since we first met.

I heard some movement behind us as the four guards started to undress. I knew what was to come. As I slipped off the end of the big cock I whispered to Jose 'Have you been fucked before?' He just smiled at me.

There were four or five guys pushing into the building as the four big guards got undressed. I could see that they were all very well endowed with big semi hard cocks swaying between their legs and large scrotums full of heavy balls thick with cum. Only one was cut, all the rest had large foreskins covering their hard dicks. They started to jack them as they watched Jose and I suck off the boss man. He had hold of my head and was pumping his big dick deep into my throat. One of the guards got a bucket of cooking oil from the stove and started covering my cock and balls and my arse with this lube. His mate did the same to Jose. He then lubed up his friend's cock as he knelt down to position his cock head at the entrance of my arse. His friend first stuck two fingers from one hand, then two from the other into me and stretched my arse wide so I could accommodate this big black man's big black cock. He moved forward placing his cock head between the fingers of his friend and slowly pushed forward. The other two guys were doing the same to Jose. He let out a moan of delight, as did I when my guy started to enter me. He was so thick and long. I had never had a dick that big before. He kept pushing into me as his friend pulled my arse cheeks apart. I eventually felt his tight pubes at my arse cheeks and knew he was fully inside me. His friend grabbed my cock and balls and stretched them down to stop me from cumming too early as his mate started to fuck my arse as it had never been fucked before. His mate slowly worked on my greased cock and balls, holding my balls tight so I would not cum.

The other guys were doing the same to Jose who was in seventh heaven. I looked up at the Boss man who had a big smile on his face. 'I think you boys are going to like your stay here' he said. Jose's cock was very hard now and I could see one of the guys slowly jacking it. As I had guessed it was immense.

One of the on-lookers at the door pushed forward and held an amyl bottle under my nose. It was the strongest stuff I'd ever inhaled and sent my head into a spin. The ring of my arse and my cock head felt so good and the pre cum tasted so sweet. Just then the boss man unloaded the biggest load into my mouth. It was so good. Thick, sweet and so creamy. My fucker was pumping my arse so hard and his mate jacking me so well I was so close.

I felt the cock in my arse push to the hilt and flex as it pulsated it's hot load deep into me as I erupted into the hands of the guy jacking me.

He immediately dived under me and sucked the remaining juice out of me.

Jose had been watching me cum and came bolt upright as he unloaded long white strips of ropey cum all over the boss man stomach. His arse fucker was also depositing his load deep in Jose's bowels. The guy that was jacking Jose then lent forward and quickly licked up all the cum, apart from that scooped up by the boss himself and sucked from his finger.

What hot man sex. I had to have more.

The boss guy got up and pulled up his trousers, as he did he motion for the five or six guys a t he door to come in and he said something to them which mad them all very happy and then he left.

The five or six guys were quickly getting undressed and by that stage I had worked out what the boss man had said. Our asses were for all of them.

The two guys that had been working on me from the start, physically picked me up and placed me on a table. Two other guys came over to join the fun.

They held my legs up exposing my newly fuck ass. One of the guys holding my legs stuck two fingers into me and was followed by the other guy. The four fingers started stretching my ass as one of the other guys started to jack off his huge black cock.. He greased it up with the cooking oil and slowly started to insert it into me. It felt like a fence post as it went in.

But so good. One of the guys holding my legs was only about sixteen but had a beautiful cock. I grabbed it and started pulling towards my mouth, as I had to taste this boy cum. He eagerly accommodated me starting to face fuck me. His cock was so silky and smooth with it's long loose foreskin.

I could taste his pre cum and with the pounding sensation in my ass new I would cum again very soon. The other group lifted Jose onto the table and one started to fuck him deep as well. His big long cock was standing tall and leaking buckets of pre cum. One of the guys watching and jacking his cock leaned forward to sucked all the pre cum off.

The young guy I was sucking off started to moan and pump my mouth harder. I knew he was about to shoot thick squirts of sweet boy cum. The guy fucking me was deep shafting me with his huge cock. Jose was watching, and said 'I bet that is great ' I just smiled back. The boy cock in my mouth was getting very hard as he started to pump my mouth hard. Then all of a sudden he exploded with buckets of thick white sweet cum that filled my mouth.

My cock started to twitch as my next load was about to unload, Just as I was about to shoot, a hot black mouth engulfed my cock to the root and sucked my dry. The two guys were still fucking me and Jose and all the other guys were standing over us jacking their hot cocks. One by one they exploded their loads of thick white cum all over us. My fucker was working up to blow his load. My ass was burning. I could feel his cock swell and unload so much cum that it was leaking out my ass. He rested, exhausted as his cock started to soften in me. As he pulled out, an older guy started to suck the cum from my ass. Jose started to scream as he was also about to unload for the first time. A guy holding me pushed my head up and over to Jose's cock and clamped my mouth down over his cock just as he was about to unload. I was in heaven. As Jose spat squirt after squirt down my still thirsty throat, I sucked every drop of that sweet load, savouring every drop of Jose's sweet juice. I broke away from his cock and look up at him with a very wet smile. He just winked. As the guy in his ass unloaded.

We all lay there for some time, exhausted from the work out. Then the young guy I had sucked off started to pump his cock again. He said something to the other guys and they laughed a bit before rolling me onto my stomach and pulled my ass cheeps apart as the young guy entered me. He fucked me gently for some time before he started to work up to a frenzy.

With three or four hard thrusts he dropped another load of his sweet cum in my other end. I somehow wish I could taste it, as his first load was one of the best.

When the young guy had finished they all got up and left, some of the guys patting both me and Jose on the ass. We both knew this was not to be the last session.

We walked over to the area we had showered earlier and cleaned each other up. Jose had this great smile on his face as his dark skin sparkled with the water, he said 'That was the greatest, I've wanted to give you my load ever since we first met, but I thought you were straight.' I asked him if he thought Mike would be OK. 'I think his ass could be a bit sore also, especially if he has not done this before.'

'You don't think he's gay then?' I asked.

' Who Mike? Not likely.'

As we had no clothes we laid down together on the old mattresses. Jose had the best looking body I had ever seen. His big cock, half soft, lay across his right thigh towards me. It was much darker than the rest of his body, but not as dark as his big hairless balls, which rested on the mattress below him in their low slung dark smooth pouch as he lay there extremely proud of his equipment. His dark foreskin covered his big cock head and even had about an inch loose over hang. I had never seen such a beautiful sight in my life. It was so much better close up than what I had seen when he and Mike used to swim together. I just had to lean over and kiss him.

We were still in our passionate embrace when the young black guy came back in. He was still wet from showering and his shinny black skin shone. He wore only a white towel around his slim waist as he came over and sat next to me on the matrass. He smiled and said something we did not understand.

He was looking at my white skin and at my white cock and at Jose's monster.

He undid his towel to show a cock that was not at all small with at least seven to eight inches and I guess still growing. He had a regular foreskin that had a slit along the bottom and was hanging loose over his half hard cock. I had not previously notices this cut in his foreskin, it must have bee done as a child either to free his cock head or as some religious rite. He leaned forward, grabbing my cock and putting it straight into his mouth. This kid had been sucking cock for a long time, as it was not long before I was hard again. I noticed that Jose's cock was also stretching out to it's nine to ten inches. Fuck it was big, not just long but thick as well. The young kid slipped over in front of me and as he did he grabbed Jose's fuck pole and started jacking it. Jose leant forward and started to finger the kids ass. He moved around to the back of the kid and started to rim his ass out. I think it was the first time that the kid had received this pleasure. As he really got into sucking my cock as Jose rimmed his ass. Jose backed off and started to insert a couple of fingers into the kid, who just pushed back into it. He had no doubt been fucked many times before by his older mates and enjoyed it. Jose found the tin of cooking oil and plastered it onto the kids ass, as he did so I slid around under the young black guy to watch as Jose inserted his dark brown monster into this smooth black ass. Slowly, inch by inch, it disappeared into that tight black hole until the whole ten inches were buried deep in his ass. I sucked on his hard black cock with it's uncut foreskin still covering the big head. I ran my tongue around under that great foreskin and felt the kid shake with pleasure. He continued to work on my cock as Jose started to fuck him long and deep. Just at this time, three big guys pushed Mike through the door to see us deep in hot gay sex. I could see Mike just stand there. He had nothing on and I could see he had been well and truly worked over. He staggered forward shaking his head.

'What are you guys doing? Do you really like fucking with guys?'

Without missing a beat Jose turned to Mike and said 'You better believe it.' Still deep fucking that tight black ass. The kid was now fucking my mouth as he deep throated my cock. Fuck it was hot man sex. As Mike stood there watching, Jose screamed out 'Take my load, take my cum.' and he unloaded another load deep inside the kid. Second later the kid unloaded a second load into my mouth. What sweet man-boy syrup it was. I repaid him with a load of hot cum in his mouth. We all collapsed in a heap. Cum leaking out of mouths and asses.

Mike just stood there shaking his head and grinning.

'Have you cum yet?' Jose asked. He shook his head and said 'No, but I have to soon.'

'Then get your ass over here.' Jose ordered. Mike tentatively approached and Jose grabbed his cock. 'Well we better relieve that pressure.'

Mike just stood there as Jose started to jack him off. He said nothing as his cock became hard and he started to fuck Jose's hand as he beat Mike's meat. At that time the black kid put his mouth over Mike's cock head. Mike gave a scream as he unloaded the largest load I have ever seen. It ran down both sides of the kid's face and dripped onto the floor. Mike must have pumped eight to ten big wads of cum into the kid, who swallowed as quickly as he could, but missed most of it.

'How long have you been storing that up?' I asked.

'Days.' Mike replied , catching his breath and smiling. 'Fuck that was great. I really needed to let that lot go' He looked around, and then at the kid. 'It looks like we have found a nice spot here.' We all laughed and our young friend joined in.

Our friend soon left us after he had his fill of cum. It was late afternoon and was getting dark in the hut. The African guys had taken all our clothes, so all we could do was sit together on the old mattress, hoping things would not get any worse. The sex may have been nice, but in the back of our minds was the worry of what was to become of us.

Food was brought to us at sun set. It was basic but quite edible. The night seemed to be getting hotter as a thunder storm moved in from the west. When the rain hit, it hit hard. Cooling the air and leaving everything damp and wet.

They came again a little after ten that night and bundled us off into a small hut not more than twenty yard away and locked us in. There were some mats on the floor which we stretched out on and tried to get some sleep.

Although the floor was hard, I must have drifted off to sleep as I was rudely woken by a lot of noise and a bright light being shone into my eyes.

I was still naked and dragged to my feet and bundled outside. At this point I was very concern for my safety and my life.

There were seven or eight big black guys man-handling me to one of the larger huts. There was a dull light coming from the hut as they dragged me in. In the light I could see there were ten black men in there mid to late teens and early twenties. I had not seen these guys before. The hut had many bunks and one was dragged out into the middle of the floor and I was thrown onto it. Most of the men standing around me had only fatigue trousers on, their tops bear. Most looked very young, 16 or 17 I guess. All were well muscled and well over six feet tall. The four guys holding me down started to tie leather bands around my wrists and ankles. These were hooked to metal rings and ropes were slung over the rafters and tied onto the rings. I could work out what was going to happen. Before I had time to really sort things out, the ropes were pulled tight and I was being pulled off the bed. My arms and legs were stretched wide apart, revealing my most private parts to the world. There was much noise in the hut as the guys laughed and pointed to my open ass and semi hard cock. Two or three guys undid their trouser fronts and started to jack their hardening cocks. Like the guys earlier that afternoon, they were all very well endowed. The older guys pushed a few of the younger guys forward.

Once I was swinging freely, the bed was rolled back against the wall and the guys standing around all dropped their trousers. At this point I knew I was in for a night of hard fucking.

One of the biggest guys, although not with the biggest cock I could see, started to finger fuck my ass. The cooking oil came out again and another guy liberally coated my ass with it and one of the young guy's cock with it the same time. He was really well hung, about 8 to 9 inches. I could see him line up his heavily fore skinned cock at my ass and feel him enter easily. It felt so good. He grounded his nine inches to the pubes and started to rhythmically fuck my ass. Although not thick he massaged my prostrate and before too long I was leaking pre cum by the bucket. Two of the other young guys watching started to lick it off my hard cock as one of the them slid his finger into my ass with his friend's cock. He just grinned and kept on fucking. His rhythm quickened as he thrust his cock deep into my guts and unloaded his first load of hot cum in me.

As he pulled out there was a lot of pushing and shoving as guys tried to be next up my ass. One small solid guy with a very big cock got his way. He wiped some cum and oil off my ass onto his big 9 to 10 inch dick, pulled the big fore skin back and rubbed the head up and down my crack. He then rolled the fore skin right forward, pushed his thick cock head to my well lube hole and pressed his way into me. As his long foreskin slid back, his big cock slid deep into me He was extremely thick and very long and I could really feel my poor ass stretch to receive him. One guy was pulling my ass cheeks apart so he could enter me easier. Another guy was jacking my hard cock. I was watching all of this when one of the big guys behind me pulled my head back and forced his big thick cock into me mouth. It was as big if not bigger than the cock fucking my ass, and had me chocking on every thrust of his hips. They were working in unison, both thrusting into me at the same time, forcing my body to arch in the middle as they both forced their black poles into me. I could feel the sexual tension building as they fucked faster, both cocks seemed to swell as they started to unload their hot male semen into my mouth and ass. There was a great raw from the guys gathered around as the cum started to dribble out of my mouth and ass. The thick white cum in my mouth tasted so good and I sucked the black cock till I got every drop of cum out of him. He smiled at me as he pulled out of my mouth and wiped his cock over my face.

The guy fucking my ass also pulled his thick cock out of me leaving me with such an empty feeling. This did not last long as a young guy with a very long thin cock quickly slipped his cock deep into my guts. Although not thick it was one of the longest cocks I had every seem with a big bulborous cock head. He deep fucked my well worn ass with long deep strokes. Each time he pulled out his big cock head rubbed across my prostrate giving me such an intense feeling. My cock was again leaking pre cum as it stood rock hard along my stomach.

A very young guy, he looked only about fifteen, stood back with his cock in his hand. I noticed that he had a very long foreskin that completely covered his rock hard cock. It was about seven inches long and quite thick. The guy that fucked me first pushed him forward. As the long cock in my arse tensed and shot it's load into me, the your boy came forward.

His cock was pulsating and leaking pre cum from it's sheathed end. As the thin cock was removed from my wet and hot arse, the young guy moved forward, put his sheathed cock to my arse lids and pushed deep into my slippery hole. I heard him sigh as he grounded his balls on my arse cheeks. He then started to fuck me as I have never been fucked before. His strokes were long and deep. His smooth black skin shone in the dull light. His white teeth gleamed as he smiled at me. A smile that melted me from within. He was so gentle and sensual in his actions. He put his dick into place no man had been before in my tight arse. Even the guys watching were getting very turned on by watching this guy work my arse. His long powerful stroke got faster and faster as I knew he would blow soon. I smiled at him, hoping that he would know the pleasure he was give me and that I hope I was giving him.

The way his was fucking got the other guys so hot that they started to cum.

Blowing there thick white load all over me until I was covered with hot cum from these young black guys. With sweat dripping off his face, he gammed his cock deep into me and blow his load, filling my arse with his seed to over flowing. He then collapsed onto me and held me tight. Looking into my face and smiling as he spoke unknown words to me.

He then stood up and spoke to one of the men who had just cum on my chest.

He older man nodded and spoke. He must have ordered me to be cut down. As I hit the floor the young man who had just finished with me, picked me up and helped me out side. He helped me to a small hut about fifty metres away. As we entered, two other very young guys helped my friend get me to an old bed. My new friend brought water and a cloth and commenced to wash the dried cum and mess off my body. He was so gentle. When he finished, his friends quietly left us alone. He smiled, showing his beautiful white teeth. He then lent forward and kissed me gently on the lips. I put arms around his naked body and he joined me on the bed.

I pulled him close and we could feel our cocks getting hard again. I rolled over so we spooned together, his hard cock pushing at my back. I lifted myself up until I felt the tip of his cock against my ass lips, them slowly lowered myself onto his cock. As he slipped inside of me he held me tight and we drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to the feel of a warm mouth on my cock. The young guy was slowly sucking me off. As I looked down at him he looked up and smiled. I could see his cock was rock hard and twitching as his heart beat. He lifted my legs up and started to rim my ass. His tongue felt so good as he worked his way into me. He spat onto his hard arched cock, pushed the fore skinned head against my splincher and pushed himself into me. It felt magnificent. He fucked me slowly for about twenty minutes before three young guys, the ones that had helped him the previous night, came into the hut. It was not long before they had all dropped their fatigues and were pumping their cocks. One of the guys was the young guy with the very thin long cock. He greased it up with his spit and pre cum and moved around the rear of my young friend fucking me. I thought he was going to mount him, but he didn't. He pushed him forward over the top of me so my legs were up around my head. He then slowly started to enter my ass just under my young friends cock. When he first started I thought he would rip my ass apart, but slowly I was able to take them both. The feeling of two cocks inside me, one going in as one was pulling out. My friend was deep kissing me as he slowly drove his cock in and out. No doubt he could feel his friends long cock sliding in and out under his cock as his balls draped over either side of this thin monster. The two other guys moved so that we could both suck on their cocks. They were so hard and slippery with pre cum that tasted so sweet. It wasn't long before they both unloaded into our mouths. It tasted so good.

My friend on top of me stopped his movements as the long cock started to work faster and faster. He was building up to fill my ass with another hot load. My friend on top also started to tense up and incerted his cock as deep as he could as they both came together. I could feel the cum dripping out of my ass and running down my ass crack. I could hold on no longer and unloaded my own big load between my stomach and my friend's. we all lay there exhausted, as my friend rolled off me. The two guys we had sucked off licked my cum if our stomachs.

The four guys took me outside to wash off under a rough shower setup. We seemed to be the only people in the camp. What had happened to me friends, I do not know. We finished washing and dressed in army fatigues, some where given to me by my friend and headed for another hut where we were fed by old trooper. The food was plain, but I was hungry and ate well.

The four guys were talking to each other and looking at me as they spoke.

They tried to ask me something, but I could not understand. The older guy said something to the very young guy who had double fucked me and he left.

A few minutes later returned with an old jeep. We all climbed aboard and headed off. We drove for about fifteen minutes until we reached another much smaller camp. There were a few other young guys standing around, all very curious about me. The only white guy they had seen for some time.

They gestured me to follow them into one of the four small huts stretching along the southern side of the road. There were six or seven mattresses on the floor and place was very neat and clean. My friend asked the only guy present something and he pointed to a room at the back of the hut. We all moved over to the door and the tall guy opened it. As we moved inside, noticed a small but very clean and tidy room. Sitting at the desk was a guy of about twenty five. Very good looking, with an air of leadership about him. My group spoke to him and looking at me, I assumed they were introducing me. They continued speaking, I think they were re-counting the event earlier this morning. The handsome guy sitting smiled and beckoned me forward. As I got to him he turned me around and felt my ass cheeks.

He said something and tried to pull down my trousers. My young friend undid the buttons at the front and my pants fell to the floor. My cock was starting to stir again as this man was extremely handsome and looked very strong and powerful. He pulled my ass cheeks apart and slowly inserted a finger into my ass. He made some remark which brought laughter to them all. My young friend had hold of my hard cock by now and was slowly jacking it. The other guys were all adjusting their hardening cocks in their trousers.

The guy slowly removed his finger and turned me around. He smiled as he saw my hard cock pointing straight at him. Then said something to me which made all the guys around me snigger. He stood up, removed his shirt to reveal the perfect chest and abdomen, the true six pack. He stood about nearly seven foot tall, a good foot taller than me. He started to undo the buttons on his trousers and let them drop to the floor. He stood there in a pair of grey boxers, but I could see an inch or two of the biggest cock with a foreskin hanging well below the head hanging out of the bottom of them. He hooked his thumbs into the waist band and dropped them to the floor. I was dumb struck. This mans cock must have been fourteen to fifteen inches long and as thick as my fore arm. I had never seen anything so large. All the young guys were sniggering at the look on my face as he started to pump this monster. It was jet black and shinny with a foreskin that came well over the big head as he stroked it. His balls were not big, but they hung low in a smooth sack below this hardening piece of monster black man meat. As it grew hard in front of my eyes, he said something and all the four dropped their trousers. I was in for another hot session.

His cock was now hard and sticking straight out from his body. It was now at least eighteen inches long and still the thickness of my forearm. Two of the young guys pulled a desk away from the wall and the other two pushed me down onto it, My legs were stretched apart and immediately someone was tying my ankle to each leg. With my ass so open I knew I had no hope to fight this monster. I was pulled by forward by the arms by two of the guys, my cock poked down under the desk. The big man had found some cream and was liberally coating ass, working first two then three and then all his fingers including his thumb into me. He was really stretching me out and it was starting to hurt like hell. I kept quiet and tried to relax. I look around and saw my young friend with only his cock head in his mouth as that was all that was going to fit.

He was now rock hard and his cock curled up slightly to his right. It was all wet and shinny from the spit. He pulled it out of my young friend's mouth and lined up behind me. I have never been so afraid of being fucked.

This cock could do me some real damage. He line up to my slippery stretched ass and started to push forward. I could feel the head stretching my ass further than his fingers had ever stretched it. I felt the cock head enter. The pain was crippling and getting worse as his cock got thicker as it entered into me. He rested for a moment then started small quick jabs in and out, slowly going deeper and deeper. His cock seemed to get slightly thinner after it was about six or seven inches in.

he stopped again to let me adjust. One of the guys grabbed my balls and squeezed them tight. This seemed to relax my ass muscles as he started to penetrate me further. He had been working his way into me for about five minutes and was still only half way. The pain started to ease as he put more cream onto the remaining part of his shaft. With steady force he slowly pushed his cock all the way to the hilt into me and he lay forward onto me and rested. He said something and my ankles were untied. He stood me up and slowly moved his cock inside me. It felt so good with this man so for inside me. They moved the desk and one of the guys lubed up my cock with the cream. I was nearly out to it with the feeling of complete pleasure. My eyes were close as I felt someone in front of me. As I looked it was my young friend backing onto my cock. I felt my slip easily into him. The desk was brought back and we were both pushed forward over it.

The big guy then started to fuck me like I had never been fucked before.

He was touching places that had never been touch before and would most likely never be touched again. He pumped my ass with so much force that I did not need to move to successfully fuck the young ass under me. I was drifting in and out of pure sexual extacy, every point of my body was alive and I felt as if this man was masterbating me from the inside. I came about three time inside my friend and still felt there was more to come.

The big guy was wet with sweat as he pounded harder and harder into to may ass. I could feel him swell as I knew he must be close. I did not want this to end. It was the hottest sex I had ever had. By this time two of the other guys were fucking right next to us and the tall skinny guy was around the back of the big guy. I looked over his shoulder and I thing had had his long thin cock up the big guy. For as the big guy started to scream and explode inside me so did the thin guy behind. With this I blew my fourth load into the young ass. My bowels were so full the semen must have just been forced out as it ran down my leg. I could feel it warm. We all collapsed in exhaustion and he slowly pulled out the best cock I'd ever had.

#gay westarfica storys expiriance

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sanjosenewshq · 2 years

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rinkrats · 3 years

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🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽

he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:

1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.

"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."

In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.

When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops.

After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).

"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."

-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021

2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”

Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.

-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020

3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:

Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.

“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”

“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”

Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.

“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.

“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”

A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid.

“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”

-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)

4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.

Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.

On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.

"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.

"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.

-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016

5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.

Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.

When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.

“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.

“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.

“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.

“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”

What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:

• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.

“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”

• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.

Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.

“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.

• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.

• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.

“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”

• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.

He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.

“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”

Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.

One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.

He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.

“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”

Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.

He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.

A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.

“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”

Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.

“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”

Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.

Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”

-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017

6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.

“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,” says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.”

-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006

7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;

Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.

After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.

I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.

“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.

Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.

I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.

That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.

It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.

-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019

#anyway this was a nice walk down memory lane after the disastrous game rip #sidney crosby #pittsburgh penguins #hockey #text

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petersasteria · 3 years

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The Life of A Mobster's Wife || Arvin Russell

Russell || Main || Taglist

Mob!Arvin x Reader (Modern AU) Requested? Nah 9,818 words (pls send feedback bc this is the longest mob fic i've done and i want to know if it's alright or if i should just leave the mob au alone sksk) W: asshole!arvin, doesn't follow canon, curse words, killing, cheating, so many fucked up shit

* * * *

Being married to a mobster wasn’t easy. Everything has to be kept under wraps whilst having a lavish lifestyle. But when you’re young, you’re naive and you think that everything will work out and you’ll live happily ever after like some Disney fairytale. Everyone seems to forget that Disney princess stories were adapted from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen. You didn’t know that your life would take such a dark turn the moment you met Arvin. The second he smiled at you, you were a goner. You were hooked on him; addicted. Everything should’ve been a red flag and the people around you told you that something about him seemed off. That should have alarmed you, but you took what they said personally. One by one, they all left you and only Arvin was left by your side. That should have been a sign too.

You told yourself that you’d be happy and you were. You were together for six months and then you got married. Now, six years later, you have a son who just turned six and a husband who doesn’t even sleep in the same bed as you anymore. You didn’t know what went wrong, but everything suddenly changed.

Arvin made sure you and your son were away from him, so he bought a big apartment in the Upper East Side for both of you. Arvin would stay there sometimes, but most of the time, he was working; killing, kidnapping people for ransom, selling weapons, selling drugs, etc. He wanted you away from those especially, Hayden; your son.

You wanted for things to change because Hayden hardly ever sees Arvin and they don’t have a connection. You also wanted another baby and you felt like Arvin was too busy for that. Wanting to focus on your husband, you decided it was best to hire a nanny to attend to your son’s needs. However, it was difficult to look for a nanny when you’re keeping everything a secret. You were lucky enough to hire a personal doctor.

Amelia Avery Hudson is a trauma surgeon, but you hired her as your personal doctor to treat your husband and his men if they have wounds. The other doctors you asked turned down your offer. When you asked Amelia, she immediately agreed. Amelia didn’t really have a choice. She applied because she needed to pay her student loans back. Plus, she needed to keep a roof over her head and rent was expensive in New York. She’s a fresh graduate and she had trouble finding a job that fitted her career path. Your offer was perfect and she saw it just in time. She hoped that no one took the job yet and luck was on her side because she’s been your personal doctor ever since.

Amelia’s only there during the evening from 7PM until 12 midnight. Having signed an NDA, she had no one to tell about the things she’s seen. She knew that if she even tried, Arvin would somehow find out and kill her with no mercy. She didn’t want to risk it.

Amelia’s feisty, but she was nice. The poor girl had a terrible life. She kept moving from one foster home to another when she was younger. Because of that, she grew up strong. She’s a remarkable woman and you were glad that you met her. You weren’t close, but you had a good relationship with her. Sometimes, she’d entertain Hayden which meant a lot to you.

You put up a poster for the nanny position and a few applicants were interested. You looked through their resumes and interviewed them one by one. Out of everyone, only one person stood out. Her name was Celeste.

“Tell me more about yourself, Celeste.” You smiled at her. You didn’t feel comfortable interviewing people in your apartment, so you always made sure the interviewees met you in your favorite restaurant in the upper east side.

“I-I’m Celeste Regina Dela Cruz. Eighteen years old. Um-”

“I know those things.” You laughed. “It’s on your resume. Just loosen up and tell me about yourself. Would it make you more comfortable if I went first?”

Celeste nodded, clearly intimidated. You smiled and said, “I’m Y/N Russell and I never finished college because I got married. I dropped out and left everything behind to be with my husband. I was also pregnant when we got married, so we never really had a decent alone time. I volunteer a lot for my son’s school and I make sure that my son has everything. Right now, he’s on a waiting list for multiple colleges.”

“Wait, how old is he?”

“He’s 6 years old.” You said before taking a sip of water. “It’s nice to be prepared, though. At least we know that he has a slot when the time comes.”

Celeste nodded and you motioned for her to start talking about herself. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth to talk, but the waiter arrived with your food. You both thanked the waiter and began eating.

“Please continue, Celeste.” You said as you took a bite of your food.

“I’m Celeste and I’m from the Philippines.” She said. “No wonder your accent is thick.” You pointed out and nodded for her to continue.

“I was able to come here because my tita- ay sorry- aunt; my aunt brought me here a year ago. I graduated high school, but I can’t go to college yet because my aunt is sick and she’s the one who pays for my schooling. College is very expensive and we can’t afford it anymore because of my aunt’s medicines.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You frowned. You felt bad, truly. Here you were, a college dropout but you’re living a luxurious lifestyle. Of course, that’s all thanks to Arvin. You were just lucky that you married a rich man. But as you sat in front of Celeste, you felt the need to do something nice for her. After all, in your mind, she was hired already.

“Oh, it’s okay.” Celeste smiled. “We’re getting by. My friend told me to apply to you and that’s why I’m here.”

“I understand.” You said as you folded your hands on the table. “When can you start?”

“Ha? What?” Celeste furrowed her eyebrows.

“You’re hired, Celeste.” You chuckled. “When can you start?”

“Um… as soon as possible!” Celeste exclaimed and you nodded.

“Pack your things and I’ll send for Pemberley to pick you up at your home address. I’d just like to confirm that your address on your resume is still your home, yes?” You asked and she nodded quickly.

“Okay. I’ll give it to Pemberley. He’ll pick you up at 9:30AM sharp.” You grinned. You both shook hands and continued eating.

The next day, you welcomed Celeste in your apartment and gave her a tour. She looked amazed at everything and it was entertaining to see. You told her that she wasn’t allowed in the master bedroom unless told and she wasn’t allowed in Arvin’s office.

You looked at your watch and gasped, “Oh, my! I’m late for a meeting. Make yourself at home and don’t forget to pick up Hayden from pre-school at 2:15. I have a note for you in your room. Please read it.” You quickly grabbed your bag and coat and left.

Celeste stood there and made her way to her room. After roaming around for 2 minutes, she finally saw her room and read the note.

Hello, Celeste! These are the rules:

Hayden can’t eat seafood. He is allergic.

No sugar-y or chocolate-y drinks before bed. Only one glass of milk with no sugar.

Sandwiches are not allowed to be eaten in his room because of crumbs.

If Hayden has no classes, you may take him to the park or the museum. As long as there are only a few people.

Stay away from crowded places. I beg.

Give Hayden a bath before bed.

Call me only when severe emergencies happen.

Your laundry schedule is the same as Hayden’s; TTh.

Always bring a small first aid kit in your bag and make sure you have a full container of hand sanitizer AT ALL TIMES.

Keep an eye on Hayden. He is your main priority.

P.S. Have fun! Eat whatever you want and if you need anything, please give Jose your own list before he goes grocery shopping.

Celeste taped the note on the wall next to her bed and started unpacking her things. She looked at her watch and realized that it was time to pick up Hayden from school. She quickly grabbed her small bag and ran to the front door.

Hayden’s school was just around the corner, so it was easy for Celeste to pick him up. There were many nannies waiting for kids to be picked up and Celeste was a bit overwhelmed that her job was actually starting. She never had training or anything.

A few more minutes of waiting, the door opened and out came a plethora of running and screaming children. During the apartment tour you gave her from hours before, she remembered you showing her a family picture that was recently taken. With that in mind, Celeste was able to remember what Hayden looked like.

Celeste looked around and saw a young boy by the steps, looking around. “Hayden!” Celeste shouted, causing the boy to look at her. Celeste walked over and said, “Hayden Russell?”

The boy nodded. She smiled, “I’m your new nanny. My name is Celeste.”

Using his manners, Hayden shook Celeste’s hand. Celeste grinned and took Hayden’s bag from him. She held his hand and they walked home. The walk home was short and quiet, but it was comfortable. When they walked into the fancy apartment building and into the elevator, Hayden spoke up.

“Can I call you ‘Celie’, instead? Like a super agent secret name? It’ll be cool.” Hayden said, causing Celeste to smile at him.

“Sure!” Celeste said.

When they arrived in the apartment unit, you were already home. Hayden ran up to you and you bent down to pick him up and hug him.

“How was school?” You asked as you kissed his forehead.

“It was fun! We learned so many things and we had arts and crafts and we-”

“That’s great, sweetie!” You smiled before putting him down. “You can play sudoku in the living room.”

Hayden made a face, “But I hate sudoku.”

“Yes, but it’ll help you stimulate your brain. Think of it as a mental exercise.” You grinned before softly nudging him to the living room where his sudoku book was waiting for him on the coffee table. Hayden begrudgingly walked to the living room and you turned to Celeste, “We need to talk.”

You turned around and walked to your husband’s office. He wasn’t there anyway and you had the freedom to speak business there. “Follow me.” You said without looking behind you. Celeste was scared shitless. She did the sign of the cross and prayed on her way to Arvin’s office.

“Aba Ginoong Maria, napupuno ka ng grasya, Ang Panginoong Diyos ay sumasaiyo. Bukod kang pinagpala sa babaeng lahat at pinagpala rin naman ang anak mong si Hesus. Santa Maria, Ina ng Diyos, ipanalangin mo kaming makasalanan ngayon at kung kami’y mamamatay. Amen. (Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you amongst women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.)” Celeste muttered under her breath. You opened the door to Arvin’s office and was immediately met with the darkness due to the closed curtains and lights that were not switched on. The only light present was the sun’s light peeping through the spaces between the curtains. You walked in and Celeste followed suit and closed the door behind her.

You sat on Arvin’s chair and read the papers that you previously laid there on the table. “Please, sit.” You motioned for her to sit in front of you and she did.

“I told you that I had a meeting earlier. I met with important people and we went through your records.” You told Celeste. Celeste knew that she didn’t do anything wrong and that she had a clean record, but that didn’t stop her from worrying.

Was she in trouble for declining her father’s call from the Philippines? Or perhaps she was in trouble for cursing her cousin. She wasn’t sure.

“And I’d like to applaud you for having remarkable and outstanding grades. Straight A’s?! I didn’t know you were smart. You didn’t put in your resume that you were a valedictorian.” You smiled sweetly. You were impressed.

“I didn’t put it because I don’t want to be hired because I’m a valedictorian. I want to be hired because you want me for the job.” Celeste said and you nodded in understanding.

“That’s very humble of you.” You smiled. “Anyway, I submitted your records to multiple colleges and they immediately got back to me.”

You opened the drawer and took out at least ten envelopes from well known universities. You handed the envelopes to her and motioned for her to read each one.

Yale University

Stanford University

Harvard University

New York University

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Cornell University

Brown University

University of California, Los Angeles

University of Pennsylvania

Columbia University

“I want you to look through those and read each one. You also have the freedom to check each university’s website to see what they look and what they offer and if what they’re offering is what you want, tell me.” You told her.

“That’s very nice of you, ma’am.” Celeste said, clearly overwhelmed with what you just told her. “I can’t afford it. It’s too- mahal. Ang mahal po kasi.(expensive. It’s too expensive.)”

You stared at her as she spoke to you in a foreign language. Not just any foreign language, her native language. She quickly realized what she said and said, “The tuition fee is too expensive.”

“You know, for a valedictorian, you’re kind of slow.” You joked. “Sweetie, you don’t have to worry about it because we’ll pay for your tuition fee.”

She gasped and squealed, “Thank you!”. She jumped out of her chair, did a small dance, and went up to hug you which took you by surprise. You smiled brightly and patted her arm as a sign of affection. It felt nice to do something good for once even though your husband does a lot of bad things. Sometimes you think that all the good things you’ve done are payback for all the bad things Arvin has done.

Celeste quickly let go of you and went back to her seat. She cleared her throat and apologized and you waved your hand and said that it was nothing. You debated with yourself on whether you should tell Celeste about your husband’s mob or not. You decided against it and told yourself that you’ll tell her when she asks.

“I’ll enroll you in any university you pick and I’ll make an arrangement that your tasks during the day until you pick up Hayden, are done face to face. Meaning, you’ll physically attend classes at the university of choice. Of course, that only applies here in New York.” You explained.

“Should you choose a university that isn't in New York, you'll be enrolled in online classes." You told her and she nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much!" Celeste said sincerely which made you smile.

"You're welcome. Study well and you can join Hayden in the living room now. I'm sure he's done with his sudoku. He should be reading his French book now." You said as you looked at the time on your phone before standing up. Celeste stood up too and held the letters close to her chest.

"I think my husband is coming home tonight, so we'll eat dinner at his favorite restaurant. Get ready at 6PM. Knowing him, he'll be late." You said and left the office with Celeste following behind. She closed the door and quickly went to the living room to check out the letters.

You went straight to your shared bedroom with Arvin and quickly went to your walk in closet that Arvin built for you. You scanned through the rack for dresses and scanned through multiple shoes to match your dress. You knew it was still 3:30PM, but you liked being prepared.

Your phone rang and you immediately answered it without looking to see who it was. “Hello?” You answered while grabbing a cerulean colored cocktail dress from the rack and holding it against you and checking it in front of a mirror.

“Y/N, honey, it’s me.” Arvin said. His voice was raspy and there’s no doubt that it’s because of his smoking habit. He’s trying to lessen it because according to him, he didn’t want to have cancer and he didn’t want his life cut short. Despite that, he still smoked… less than before. He was really trying. Key word: trying.

“You’re smoking right now, huh?” You asked, already tired of his shit. You loved him so much, but you didn’t have the energy of being his wife anymore. Probably because he doesn’t treat you like one.

“Mind your own business, woman!” Arvin hissed. You knew he didn’t mean it, but it still kind of hurt. “I’m just worried about you and you said that you’ll lessen the smoking.” You said calmly. You didn’t want to fight with him; it’s useless.

“I am. This is my third stick today and it’s late in the afternoon.” Arvin said, pushing his hair back. “Anyway, I called to tell you that I’ll be coming home tonight and I’m sleeping there.”

“Wow, it’s been a while. How long will you stay here?” You asked, hiding your excitement.

“I’m taking 7 days off. Starting tomorrow.” Arvin said. He gathered his things, got up from his seat and walked out of his office. “I’m leaving The Hamptons as we speak.”

“Alright. I’ll be waiting for you.” You said.

“What’re you up to right now, darling?” He asked, exiting the mansion and went straight to the limo. The door was being held open by Jeeves, the chauffeur. Arvin got inside and Jeeves closed the door before quickly getting in and driving.

“I’m picking a dress for tonight. I made reservations because you’re coming home.” You told him and he smiled.

“That’s sweet of you, darling. I’ll text you when I’m almost home, okay?” Arvin said.

“Oh, ok-”

Arvin hung up the phone and you sighed. You put the phone on top of the small chair before picking another dress.

Hours later, you received a text from Arvin saying that he was already around the corner and that he’ll just wait for you in the limo. You quickly finished getting ready and walked out of your room wearing a steel blue dress that you knew Arvin loved. You wore heels that matched it and wore dangling earrings that you wore on your wedding anniversary.

Celeste was wearing a polka-dotted blouse and a skirt that ran until her knees. She was wearing an old pair of Mary Jane’s and her hair was neatly combed. She had a hairpin to clip it back and on her shoulder, was a ‘nanny bag’ that you gave her. Hayden was wearing black pants and a button up that you bought last year. He was wearing black sneakers to match his outfit.

All three of you left the apartment and quickly made your way to the elevator. The elevator ride was short and before you knew it, you were in the lobby. Seeing the limo from afar, Hayden ran towards it causing Celeste to run after him. You walked quickly knowing that Arvin hated waiting.

Hayden opened the limo’s door and went inside to give his father a hug. “I missed you, daddy!” Hayden said with a smile and kissed his cheek. Arvin hugged back tightly and kissed the top of his head.

Arvin loved Hayden. The boy was like a copy of him and Hayden was Arvin’s most prized possession. He was the reason that Arvin worked hard and he was the reason that Arvin is sane. Although he doesn’t mind having more kids, Hayden was more than enough for him and he was content with that.

“I missed you too, buddy!” Arvin smiled widely and sat Hayden on his lap. Hayden started talking about what happened while he was away and Arvin was listening. Celeste went inside the limo and sat across from Arvin causing him to glance at Celeste up and down with furrowed eyebrows. You quickly got in the limo next to Arvin and closed the door. Jeeves asked if everyone was ready and you said yes. Jeeves started driving and he turned the music down a bit.

This caught your attention and you internally groaned. You looked at Arvin and quietly said, “Really? You’re playing this music again?”

Not leaving his gaze on Celeste, he said, “My limo, my music.”

You rolled your eyes and looked out the window. Arvin’s music played through the speakers and you decided to help yourself with a glass of champagne just to get through the night.

“Are you washed? (Are you washed?) In the blood (In the blood) In the soul cleansing blood of the lamb?”

The music filled the quiet limo, Hayden stopped talking a minute ago, finding the scenery more amusing than his own stories. Arvin nudged you and whispered, “Who the hell is the chick?”

“Hayden’s new nanny.” You whispered. “I hired her yesterday. She’s from the Philippines and-”

“You know what? I’ll interview her during dinner.” Arvin cut you off. “I already interviewed her and she’s qualified.” You hissed.

“Really? Doesn’t seem like it.” Arvin said. “I’ll do the talking. You already got to know her and it’s my turn now. I want the best for my son.”

“She’s very intelligent, you know.”

“I don’t give a shit, Y/N.”

“Daddy said a no-no word.” Hayden said, his eyes not leaving the window. “Also, can I get a puppy? Jason’s daddy bought him a new puppy and I want one too.”

“Tomorrow.” Arvin answered. “I’ll pick you up after school and we’ll buy a puppy.”

“Arvin, babe, he’s not responsible enough for a puppy yet.” You told him, but Arvin shrugged you off. He didn’t care what you thought. If his son wants a puppy, he’s getting a puppy.

You arrived at the restaurant and immediately got out of the car. You went down first and Hayden followed after. Arvin glanced at Celeste and motioned for her to get out first and she did. Arvin was last and he closed the door behind him. “Buy yourself some food, Jeeves.” Arvin said as he handed $200 to Jeeves through the driver’s side. “Pick us up when I text you. Don’t be too far, alright?”

“Yes, sir.” Jeeves said before driving off.

You all waited for Arvin and all four of you entered the fancy restaurant. The hostess led you to your table that had a small card that said: ‘Reserved for Mrs. Russell’ in cursive. All four of you sat down and the hostess provided menus for you, Arvin, and Celeste. A kids’ menu was handed to Hayden and he smiled and thanked the hostess. Holding a menu made Hayden feel like a real man. He wanted to be just like his father and that scared you because Hayden doesn’t know about Arvin’s job. Neither did Celeste and you felt sick to your stomach knowing that you brought two innocent people in danger. If things get worse, you’ll fire Celeste and let her go back to her family while you make sure that traces of her are gone. After all, if they find Celeste, she might get killed. Chances are, her family gets killed too. It’s all connected.

Anyway, all Hayden knew was that his father takes down bad guys. To him, Arvin’s a hero. But you knew better. Hayden will find out when he’s older. One day, he’ll understand that not all people who take down bad guys are heroes.

You all ordered and handed the hostess back the menus. Arvin took a sip of his water and cleared his throat before turning his attention to Celeste. “What’s your name, and where are you from?” Arvin asked.

Celeste stared at him in shock, “A-Are you talking to me, sir?”

“Who else would I be talking to? Of course, I’m talking to you.” He scoffed which made you slap his arm lightly. “Introduce yourself to me. We haven’t met and if my wife thinks you’re qualified for this job, it is also my right to see if you’re qualified as well.”

“U-Um, okay. My name is Celeste Regina Dela Cruz and I’m from the Philippines. My aunt brought me here last year. I only graduated high school and-”

“Alright. How did you find out about this job?” Arvin asked.

“My friend told me about it, so I applied.” Celeste said. A waiter came by and poured champagne on yours and Arvin’s glasses while he poured water on Celeste’s and Hayden’s.

Arvin nodded, “Alright. Were you a nanny before this?”

“No, sir.” Celeste answered.

“So, what makes you qualified for this job? Why are you here?” Arvin questioned.

“I’m here because… I want to work and I think that being a nanny is the only way.” Celeste answered and Arvin nodded before turning to you.

“Have you discussed her salary?” He asked and you shook your head. He nodded and turned to Celeste, “Will $100 a day be enough?”

“Yes, sir.” Celeste nodded furiously.

“Alright, then. $100, it is. I’ll give you extra if you’re good.” He said before taking out his phone and kept himself busy. You gave Celeste a tight lipped smile and did the same.

What Arvin said struck a nerve on you. You knew of his affairs and ladies, that’s why you never visited your mansion in The Hamptons. You knew there’d be a plethora of girls who are throwing themselves at your husband. You also knew that he wasn’t faithful and you knew that because he smelled like women’s perfume and sometimes he’d have a smudge of foundation on his white shirt. You stayed with him anyway.

“Thank you, sir.” Celeste said with a small smile. She turned her attention to Hayden and entertained him with stories from back home.

“How was work?” You asked Arvin and he shrugged.

“Nothing special. Rodriguez finally paid back what he owes, so that’s that. Also, dad visited me this morning. He said that he wanted to see Hayden. I told him I’ll think about it.” Arvin said with no emotion.

Arvin’s relationship with his dad, Willard, was rocky. It was no secret that Arvin preferred the company of his mom rather than his dad. Charlotte, Arvin’s mom, was the sweetest lady you’ve ever met. She helped you with your pregnancy and she’s the one who told Arvin to keep you away from the mob things. She didn’t want Hayden to grow up in such a bloody environment. Besides, it wasn’t safe. She’d occasionally visit you and Hayden when she’s not busy.

“How were things while I was gone?” Arvin asked.

“Same old. The only new thing was hiring Celeste.” You told him and he nodded. He moved closer to you and asked in a low voice, “Does she know?”

You shook your head and he nodded, “Good. It should be kept that way.”

“We’ll be paying for her college education.” You said quietly and Arvin’s head quickly turned to you as he glared daggers at you. You paid him no mind as you took a sip of your champagne. “We’ll talk later.” Arvin said sternly.

The waiter arrived with your orders and all four of you began eating in silence. Celeste was too awkward to start a conversation, Hayden didn’t know what to say, Arvin will talk to you later in his office, and you didn’t want to engage in a conversation nor start it.

After that, you ordered desserts. You initially didn’t plan to order any, but Hayden wanted the strawberry cake that he saw at the other table. Therefore, Arvin ordered four slices of that. As Arvin took bites of it, he chuckled which made you look at him through your peripheral vision.

“What’s so funny?” You asked, before eating the cake that was on your fork and chewing it. Arvin shook his head, “Nothing. I just remembered our wedding cake. It was similar to this.”

You smiled at the thought and nodded, “Yeah, they are similar.”

Your complicated marriage with Arvin made you stressed. You didn’t know how to act around him, but he was a great actor. He acted like he wasn’t cheating on you, he acted like he wanted the domesticated life, he acted like everything about his family was normal, and above all, he acted like he was still in love with you.

The truth is, Arvin isn’t in love with you anymore. But he loved you; he still does. He will never stop loving and caring about you. He just doesn’t get the same feelings as he used to. Before, one look at you gave him butterflies in his stomach and the world turned into slow motion. Now, he looks at you and he feels nothing. In his mind, you’re just his wife and the mother of his child. He didn’t know what to do anymore, but he knew he couldn’t leave you. Leaving you would ruin him because he knew you’d take Hayden away from him.

Being unfaithful wasn’t part of his plan, but it just happened. Then it kept happening with different girls and he hated himself every time. He knew that you knew. After all, he wasn’t discreet about it either. Both of you just pretend that nothing’s happening, it’s all swept under the rug and it’s killing you.

After dessert, Arvin texted Jeeves to pick you up as you called a waiter for your bill. After paying, Jeeves was already outside. Celeste got up from her seat and carried Hayden, who was falling asleep already. You and Arvin followed.

The ride home was shorter and quicker. When you arrived in the apartment, Celeste went straight to Hayden’s room with him fast asleep in her arms. Arvin cleared his throat which caught your attention. You looked at him and he nodded his head towards his office. He went there and you trailed behind him.

When he opened the door, he switched on the lights and went straight to his desk. You entered and closed the door. You sat in front of him and waited for him to talk.

“Since when were we paying for someone else’s education?” Arvin asked.

“Since now.” You answered boldly. He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, “Why?”

“I’ve seen her records. She’s a valedictorian and she deserves to go to college. Her aunt can’t pay for it and I volunteered. It’s a little ‘thank you’ for taking care of Hayden. Taking care of a child isn’t easy.” You explained.

“That’s her job. Her little ‘thank you’ is her salary.” Arvin said with his thick accent.

“She deserves more than that.” You told him. “We have so much money, anyway. Paying for her college education won’t even cause a dent in our bank account. Besides, you told her that if she’s good, you’ll give her extra cash. Now, what do you mean by that?”

You and Arvin stared at each other in silence. The tension was thick. It was obvious that you both have problems that you refused to bring up.

“Let’s go to bed.” Arvin said after a minute. He stood up and you stood up too. Both of you left his office and he turned the lights off. He went straight to your shared bedroom and you went to Hayden’s bedroom. When you peeked inside, Hayden was already asleep and wearing his pajamas. You took off your shoes and walked to his bed. You laid down next to him and hugged him as tears streamed down your face.

Being Arvin’s wife wasn’t easy and it wasn’t like the fantasy you had initially thought. You wanted a happy family, but Arvin doesn’t even lay with you anymore. Your day was tiring and chaotic with a mix of high and low emotions. You knew that it would repeat the next day and you already dreaded it. For now, you’ll just cuddle your 6-year-old son and try to get some sleep.

The next few days consisted of doing your daily tasks. The only difference is, Arvin was home and he joined in various tasks. He accompanied Celeste in picking up Hayden at school and true to his word, Arvin bought Hayden a puppy.

Now, the puppy is part of your daily tasks too. Hayden named his puppy 'Jack' and he loved it. Part of his new daily life, Hayden always made sure that Jack was nearby whenever he did anything whether it be sudoku or reading his French picture books.

Arvin loved Jack too. He even swore to Jack that he'd come home often. You rolled your eyes at that, but chose not to say anything. While you thought that nothing in your marriage will surprise you, you thought wrong. After his 7 days off, Arvin came home every night solely because of Jack and Hayden.

'Perfect.' You thought. 'At least he's coming home every night.'

It was now Sunday which meant that Hayden had horseback riding lessons at the back of your mansion in The Hamptons. Celeste was watching over Hayden with her cheap sunglasses on. The skirt of her dress was slightly lifting up due to the wind. You offered your hat to her, but she declined. She said that she was used to the sun because of the weather in the Philippines.

You and Arvin were in his office looking over Celeste’s university of choice. You were making calls and Arvin was checking out the university’s website on his laptop. You were currently on hold and you grabbed Celeste’s acceptance letter from Arvin’s desk. The envelope was open and you sat down on Arvin’s desk as you took out the letter from the envelope and read it.

Cornell University

Celeste Regina Dela Cruz 2264 Oak Street Manhattan, New York 10021

Dear Celeste Regina:

Congratulations on your acceptance into the College of Engineering at Cornell University! We are very pleased to be welcoming you to this coming academic year.

Very soon, you will receive your official letter of acceptance from us in the mail. We are excited that you will be joining the Cornell community and know that you will make a very positive contribution to the university.

Best regards,

Amanda K. Bishop Associate Vice Provost for Enrollment Cornell University

ENROLL AND DEPOSIT ONLINE: Please retain the URL and PIN provided in the notification email you received, as well as the password you created to view this letter. You will need all three in order to log in again to complete the Enrollment Response Form and submit your enrollment deposit.

You finished reading and before you knew it, you weren’t on hold anymore. You began talking to the person in charge and Arvin glanced at you from time to time while scrolling through Cornell’s website.

“I think she’ll enjoy Cornell, darling.” Arvin said, exiting Cornell’s site and you glanced at him and gave him a thumbs up before turning your attention to the call again. After an hour, you end the call and turn to Arvin.

“They agreed to let her do online classes and occasionally attend classes physically.” You informed him and he nodded.

“Do you think Hayden will get into Cornell? It’s a nice university.” Arvin asked. “I don’t really care where he gets in. I’ll be proud regardless.”

You gave him a small smile and said, “That’s wonderful. Speaking of Hayden, his horseback riding lessons should be done by now. Let’s go.”

You left Arvin’s office and he quickly followed behind you. “Is there something wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, not saying anything.

Days went on that way. You talked to Arvin less and less and he was starting to catch on to that. He also noticed that you don’t sleep next to him anymore and that you always made sure that you weren’t home when he comes home from the mob business.

The party was in full swing and the children were having so much fun. Arvin wasn’t a fan of parties, but he decided that it would be nice to have other children around the apartment. Hayden’s friends and classmates played around and the nannies were all huddled in one corner as they watched the children. Some of them even played with Jack.

You were with the parents and you couldn’t find Arvin. It was time for Hayden to blow the candles and you wanted you and Arvin to be there beside him. You looked for him everywhere and you forgot to check his home office. ‘He’s most likely in there.’ You told yourself.

Without knocking, you walked in and gasped when you saw the sight in front of you. The back of Arvin’s chair was facing you, but you didn’t need the chair to fully face you to know what they’re doing. A young woman, in her early 20s, was sitting on Arvin’s lap and you could see her bouncing up and down. Arvin wasn’t even hiding the fact that he was enjoying it. You quickly left and closed the door.

You knew he was cheating on you, but seeing him in action made it so real. You told yourself that you weren’t going to cry, but the tears you held back were freely streaming down your face. You quickly wiped them away and Celeste saw you.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” She asked. She was worried about you. You faked a smile and nodded, “Yeah, I’m alright. I just can’t believe that Hayden is 7 already! Time flies by so fast.”

Celeste nodded and smiled, “Okay. Hayden wants to blow his cake now.”

“Okay. Tell him to get ready.” You told her and she nodded, quickly leaving you alone. You glanced at the door of Arvin’s office and debated on calling Arvin’s attention or not. You decided that you weren’t going to call for him. If he cared about the little family you made, he would have the decency to not cheat on you on your son’s birthday. With that in mind, you held your head high and walked to the kitchen where everyone was waiting. Hayden was sitting on the bar stool while his cake was placed in front of him, on top of the countertop.

You smiled brightly at him and stood next to him. You kissed his cheek and gave him a side hug. “Where’s daddy?” Hayden asked you, looking up at you with innocent eyes.

“He’s busy cheating on mommy, sweetheart.” You wanted to say so bad, but you held back. It wasn’t nice to bring personal problems to parties. Especially your 7-year-old son’s party.

“He’s answering an important call for work, buddy. He’ll catch up later.” You lied. Hayden frowned, but his mood changed when everyone started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ while some took pictures of you two. Celeste lit the candle that was shaped like the number 7. After the song, Hayden closed his eyes and made a wish before blowing his candle. Everyone clapped and you gave everyone a slice of cake.

When everyone was eating, Arvin finally walked out of his office with the young woman with him. He gave her $100 and whispered, “This is for not telling anyone and for spending time with me.” He winked at her and she blushed before quickly walking off to the kid she was watching.

Unbeknownst to them, Celeste saw the whole thing. She looked at you, Hayden, and Arvin and she looked torn. She wanted to tell you, but she was scared of Arvin. She thought that he was sketchy and she didn’t fully trust him. If she doesn't tell you, she’ll feel bad. So she quickly went to her room, called her sister and sat on her bed.

Toni, her sister, answered, “Oh, bakit ka napatawag? (Why did you call?)”

“May chika ako! Tangina, ‘di ko alam kung ano gagawin ko. (I have tea! Fuck, I don’t know what to do.)” Celeste said. She was panicking in her room and she truly didn’t know what to do.

“Ano ‘yon? (What is it?)” Toni asked.

“‘Di ako sigurado pero parang nambababae itong tatay ng alaga ko. Sabihin ko kaya sa asawa niya? (I’m not sure, but I think the dad of the kid I’m taking care of is cheating on his wife. What if I tell his wife?)” Celeste bit her nails nervously. Toni was quiet and said, “Ikaw bahala. Kung sa tingin mong kakainin ka ng konsensya mo, sabihin mo na. Kung kaya mong magkunwari na wala kang alam, edi ‘wag mo sabihin. (It’s up to you. If you think that your conscience will eat you alive, tell her. If you can pretend that you don’t know anything, then don’t say anything.)”

“Kung ikaw nasa pwesto ko, ano gagawin mo? (If you were in my place, what would you do?)”

“Wala. Kunwari wala akong alam. Saka ko na lang sasabihin pag tinanong ako. (Nothing. I’ll pretend that I don’t know anything. I’ll just tell her if she asks me.)” Toni answered.

“Sige. Chat nalang kita mamaya. Kailangan na ako sa labas. (Okay. I’ll chat with you later. I think they need me outside.)”

“Okay, bye!” Toni said before hanging up. Celeste took a deep breath and walked out of her room.

Some people were already leaving and Celeste immediately grabbed a big garbage bag to pick up the paper plates and paper cups that were left behind.

“Where have you been?” You asked Celeste sweetly. She jumped at the sound of your voice which was weird because she wasn’t jumpy.

“I-I went to my room to talk to my sister.” Celeste said. It was true, but she didn’t tell you why. You nodded and said, “Send her my regards.”

Celeste nodded and proceeded to clean up. You walked away and thanked your guests for coming to Hayden’s party. You’ve been avoiding Arvin for hours now and it was like he wanted to talk to you alone. You didn’t want to.

When everything was clean, it was already time for Hayden’s nighttime yoga routine. He quickly went to his room and started getting dressed in his yoga outfit. Celeste went to her room to grab her books, so that she could read while Hayden did his yoga. Jack went with them and Celeste was more than happy to know that the dog was joining them.

It was only you and Arvin in the living room. The tension was thick. You closed the door after the last guest left and Arvin started talking, “Why didn’t you call me when Hayden blew out his candle?”

“Was I supposed to?” You snapped and gave him a death glare which he seemed to return.

“Of course you were supposed to! I’m his dad and I should be there for him!”

“Why weren’t you present for most of the day, then? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I needed help with Hayden’s gifts? When I needed someone to give drinks to the adults, where were you? You weren’t around, Arvin. You were busy with God knows what!” You raised your voice.

“What are you saying?!” Arvin shouted.

“I’m saying that you’re not there for me and you haven’t been for a long fucking time!” You shouted back. This started a screaming match between the two of you. You didn’t even notice how loud you were shouting.

Hayden stopped doing yoga and looked at Celeste, “What’s going on?” Celeste looked at Hayden while listening closely. She sighed and told him, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Celeste walked out of Hayden’s room not knowing that Hayden followed her out. She only realized that Hayden followed her when she heard Hayden shout, “Stop fighting!”

You and Arvin stopped to turn your heads to Hayden who was already crying at the sight of his angry parents. The sight of Hayden crying made you cry too. You walked towards him, but he ran away to hide in his room. He locked the door and Celeste was just standing there awkwardly.

You wiped away your tears and to your surprise, Celeste spoke up. “Ma’am, sir, um, please don’t fight anymore because Hayden will not like it. If you can’t stop fighting each other, do it for Hayden.” Celeste said softly as she looked at both of you.

“Hayden is a very nice kid and he’s very smart and he’s very obedient. He does everything you tell him to do even if he doesn’t like it because he knows that it will make you happy. He doesn’t deserve to have parents that are fighting all the time and he doesn’t deserve a family that has problems. If you have problems, just talk about it. Don’t yell.” Celeste told both of you. She was trying to be a peacemaker and both of you commended her for it. It wasn’t her job to be a peacemaker, but she’s being one right now.

“Sir, I saw you a while ago at the party with a girl and you gave her money. Being unfaithful is not nice. You should be faithful to your wife because she’s doing her best. If you don’t love her anymore, why are you here?” Celeste said. You knew she didn’t mean anything wrong, but Arvin took it the wrong way.

“Excuse me?” Arvin asked, offended. “I’m offended that you had to ask me why I’m here. I’m here because I live here. It’s my money, it’s my apartment, and everything here is from me! So don’t ask me why I’m-”

“She’s right, Arvin.” You said and turned to look at him. “I’m tired of all this fighting and all this pretending. From now on, I’ll sleep in Hayden’s room. If you enjoy sleeping with different women, you’re surely going to enjoy sleeping alone.” You snapped before leaving the living room to go to the bathroom to wash up.

Arvin glared at Celeste angrily and she said, “Sir, I understand if you fire me. It’s fine. I’m sorry for disrespecting you in your house. But before you fire me, think about what I said, sir. Also, think about your son. You can’t take care of him because of your job and your wife can’t take care of him because she’s busy with different things. If you fire me, no one else will look out for Hayden. Thank you for listening, sir.”

Celeste looked down and went to Hayden’s room in hopes that she could coax him into unlocking the door and letting her in.

Arvin sighed in distress and rubbed his face with his hands before going to the master’s bedroom and slamming the door.

Arvin didn’t know what happened. All he remembered was going to an event that was attended by his mob allies when all of a sudden, his rival mob attacked them all. A lot of shooting happened and he was sure that his mob friends were killed. He hoped they weren’t.

People were screaming and he heard someone crying at some point. His people were scattered everywhere and he didn’t know if they were alright. He didn’t get out scott-free, though. He got shot on his side and he was shooting his rivals all while trying to get out of the venue to get in the car and go back to his mansion.

When he arrived, Amelia was already on her feet and doing her tasks. She was the only doctor, but she pushed through and it amazed Arvin how Amelia could help them. He admired her and thought that she was strong. Her job isn’t easy, after all.

A few hours of taking out bullets from bodies and declaring one person dead on arrival, Amelia was finally finished with her job. She was in Arvin’s office to get her paycheck while Arvin wrote her salary on a check.

“$20,000” Arvin wrote before handing it to her with a tight-lipped smile. Amelia took the check gratefully.

“Thank you, Mr. Russell.” Amelia smiled before grabbing her bag and leaving. Arvin sighed and leaned back on his chair. He hasn’t been home for a while and Hayden didn’t want to speak with him whenever he called you to talk to Hayden. It broke his heart.

He put a hand on his gun wound and closed his eyes to rest for a while to think about his life. He never really thought that his life would turn out like this, but he knew that someday he’d have to take over the mob. When he took over, that’s when he met you.

In truth, he didn’t know how or what to feel when it comes to you. He’s confused. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing which made him groan. He opened his eyes, grabbed his phone, and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Hello, Russell.” His rival, George, said. Arvin could almost imagine the smug look on George’s face. Arvin gripped his phone tighter, “What do you want? You killed one of my men. Isn’t that enough?”

“Quite frankly, no. I would send my condolences to the deceased family, but I don’t really give a shit. Besides, it would teach you a lesson from stealing from me!”

“For the last time, I didn’t steal from you!” Arvin shouted.

“Your men joined my mob and stole from me!”

“It’s not stealing if they’re getting what’s rightfully ours.” Arvin hissed. “If anything, you stole from me!”

George scoffed, “If you really think that way, fine. Just know that you’ll pay for it.”

“I’m not paying for anything, George.” Arvin chuckled bitterly before pouring himself some scotch with one hand.

“Not even for your family?” George asked. “Wow, that shit’s cold.”

“What’re you talking about?” Arvin asked with furrowed eyebrows as he took a sip of his drink.

“Oh, you’re not informed?” George said sarcastically. “Your wife and son are here with me. If you don’t give me back what you stole from me, I’ll kill them. You know where to find me, Russell.”

George hung up and Arvin yelled in frustration. He sat up and winced because of his wound. He ran a hand through his hair and thought about how he’ll save you and Hayden. Him and his men talked about plans and when they were able to finalize, they wasted no time in going to George’s place.

The plan was going to George and giving him a duffel bag filled with rocks, so that he’ll think it’s the thing he was looking for; the thing he claimed Arvin’s men stole. Arvin decided that it’d be best for his men to ‘give it back’ to George while he and a few guys would look for you and Hayden.

Arvin heard George shouting about everything being fake and he heard gunshots. In a span of a few hours, his mob was shooting people again. He heard Hayden’s familiar cries and followed it while being covered by Javier, one of his men.

When Arvin found the room where George kept you and Hayden, he gasped when he saw you lying in your own blood, unconscious next to a weeping Hayden.

“Daddy!” Hayden cried and it made Arvin’s heart break. He had so many questions running through his mind. How long have you been unconscious? Why are you unconscious? Did they hurt both of you? Where’s Celeste?

Arvin quickly untied Hayden and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around him. “It’s okay, buddy. Everything’ll be okay.” Arvin whispered and kissed the top of Hayden’s head. He lets go of Hayden and knelt beside your body. He untied you and panicked when he saw multiple gun wounds on you. He knew that if you stayed longer, you’d die.

Arvin turned to Hayden and said, “Listen to me, okay? Take care of mommy and don’t go anywhere. Got it?”

Hayden nodded and wiped his tears. “Are you coming back?”

“Of course, I’m coming back.” Arvin reassured him. He stood up and quickly left the room and shot every person from his rival mob. When he saw George, all Arvin saw was red and started beating the shit out of his rival.

George didn’t get a chance to defend himself because Arvin just kept throwing punches and hits. Arvin wanted George dead for bringing his family into their problems. Arvin didn’t care about George’s bloody and bruised state. Arvin pushed George to the ground and whipped out his gun.

“This is for my family.” Arvin panted. He looked at George in the eye and shot his head mercilessly. He looked at his surroundings and saw that almost everyone in George’s mob was dead and the few that were alive, are either unconscious or terribly bruised.

Arvin ran back to the room and picked up Hayden. “I told you I’d be back.” He said as Hayden rested his head on the crook of Arvin’s neck.

Arvin ordered one of his men to carry you and immediately drove to the mansion. Arvin called Amelia and said that he needed her ASAP.

“Mr. Russell, it’s late and it’s not my schedule.” Amelia said groggily. She was already deeply sleeping and Arvin disturbed her greatly.

“I know, I know and I’m sorry. I need you ASAP, Amelia. It’s my wife this time.” Arvin said frantically. They arrived at the mansion and rushed you to the medical room where Amelia was hours before.

Hayden was asleep in Arvin’s arms and he went to his room to let Hayden sleep there comfortably. He hears shuffling around on Amelia’s end as he did his best to tuck Hayden in.

“I’m on my way.” Amelia said.

“Okay, please hurry.” Arvin pleaded before hanging up. He looked at Hayden and smiled a bit at the sight of his son fast asleep. He quietly left the room and rushed to the medical room where you were being kept. He wasn’t a doctor and he didn’t know what to do. Time was running out and for the first time in years, he finally saw you.

He finally realized how important you are in his life. He finally realized that it would hurt him deeply if you were gone. He couldn’t imagine going on with life without you by his side. He didn’t notice Amelia walking in the medical room and he only acknowledged her presence when he was being escorted out of the room by her.

“Wait, no! I want to say, Am-”

“You know you can’t.” Amelia said sternly. “It’s protocol. You can’t be here. Just wait outside.” Amelia pushed the mobster out the room and locked it. The whole time he waited, Arvin was pacing back and forth. He was restless. Who wouldn’t be? If your spouse is undergoing a procedure, you’d want to know about them, right? Arvin had no clue how you were doing.

Three hours later, the door opened and Amelia stepped out of the room. She was clearly tired. Arvin stopped pacing and stared at Amelia who only said, “She’s okay.”

“Thank you.” Arvin sighed in relief as he walked towards the room.

“You don’t need to pay me. Consider it a freebie. I know what it’s like to grow up without a mom at a young age and I don’t want that to happen to Hayden. Take care, sir.” Amelia smiled softly before leaving.

Arvin went into the room and pulled up a chair to sit next to your bed. He held your hand and stared at you. It’s been a long time since he’s seen your face. You were beautiful. You always have been and always will. Seeing you unconscious scared him greatly and it made him realize how much he still loves and cares about you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry this happened to you. I mean it.” Arvin said softly. “I love you. I’m sorry it took me almost losing you to realize that. You don’t know how sorry I am, sweetheart.”

“I can’t imagine the pain you must have felt when Celeste came clean about seeing me and some other girl on Hayden’s birthday. But I know you, Y/N. I know that you’ve always had a feeling that I was unfaithful and I can’t imagine your heartbreak when you found out about it being true.”

“When we first got together, I promised I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I’m sorry for breaking that promise. I’ll be better for you, Y/N. I’ll come home and I’ll stay with you whenever you need me. I’ll be present for Hayden and I don’t want to argue with you anymore. I want us to go back to normal and I know it’ll be hard for you, but I’m willing to try.” Arvin said with hope in his eyes.

“I also know that you’re awake and that you can hear me clearly.” He added as he looked at you. You slowly opened your eyes and looked at him, “I hate that you know me well.”

“I actually love it. It makes me feel like I’m still in touch with you. Lord knows I’d be heartbroken if I can’t read you anymore.” He chuckled lightly before pressing a light kiss on your hand.

“Did you mean what you said? Trying again?” You asked and he nodded. “Then, I’ll try too.”

However, some relationships work out and your marriage turns into something better than before. It happened to you and Arvin. He kept his promises and soon, you were blessed with a second child. Celeste was alright and you treated her like a sister you never had. In return for sending her to college, she did well in her studies and made sure to show you her grades which made you proud.

Everything was coming together and you were thankful that things took a nice turn. Your life as a mobster's wife wasn’t so bad, after all.

* * * *

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @cocoamoonmalfoy @parkerpeter24 @slutforsr @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @quxxnxfhxll @bora-world @supred12 @more-like-reyna

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg @emmastarz

#arvin russell #arvin russell x reader #arvin russell x y/n #arvin russell one shots #arvin russell blurbs #arvin russell fic #arvin russell imagine #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

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davidmann95 · 3 years

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now that it's over, thoughts on Bendis' Superman as a whole?

pretenderoftheeast said: So, thoughts on Bendis' Superman and Action Comics' tenure altogether and separately now that it's over?

Anonymous said: Best and Worst things about Bendis' Superman run

Anonymous said: Now that it is over, what are your thoughts on Bendis' runs on Superman and Action Comics as a whole?

Anonymous said: Retrospective thoughts on Bendis' Superman as a whole now that it's, I guess, done?

Anonymous said: Hey so since Bendis’ Superman stuff seems to be done, what did you think of the run as a whole?

I decided to hold off a bit on writing on this one, if only so that I could reread the Action Comics side of it since Superman stood out in my memory a lot more. But now I have, and as we’re heading into a bold new era of Superman (and it’s coming in fast - just since I made my Superman in 2021 predictions we’ve gotten Ed Pinsent finally reprinting his legendary bootleg Silver Age Superman, Steve Orlando announcing his Superman analogue book Project Patron, an official shonen Superman redesign for RWBY/Justice League, PKJ’s Super-debut turning out far better than I ever expected, Superman & Lois’s first proper trailer largely taking people pleasantly by surprise, and my learning that there’s a Sylvester Stallone Old Man Superman analogue movie titled Samaritan coming out this summer) we’re ready to take a look back with at least a touch of perspective. I’ll lead with complaints, so everybody who’s been waiting for me to say that Bendis on Superman was Bad, Actually, savor this because it’s as close as you’ll get.

The Bad

* I hate to say it, but rereading that side of the run there’s no two ways about it: the structure of Action Comics as a whole is a mess. It baffled me from day one that it was the more acclaimed of the two books for so long - I guess people are hardwired at this point to think of ‘street’ stuff as where Bendis is supposed to be - because it was immediately clear that Superman had a well-defined story he wanted to tell, while Action was the usual Bendis off-the-cuff improvisation. It’s barely even a story in the same way, and it’s certainly not the ‘Metropolis crime book’ people took it as: it’s 28 issues of Superman and his supporting cast stuffed a pinball machine with the Red Cloud pinging off of each other as we wait to see who falls in the hole at the bottom, and partway through Leviathan and the Legion of Doom and 90s Superboy are tossed into the mix to keep it going a little longer. On an issue-to-issue basis it’s frequently really good, but the core plot of the book is *maybe* six issues stretched out over two and a half years.

* I’ve gone into this some before, but structure-wise Unity Saga also has problems: Phantom Planet rules but either it needed to be cut or the back half needed to be a year all its own in order to accommodate the scale of what it’s attempting. It’s got an interstellar civil war leading into the formation of the United Planets, family drama, Rogol Zaar’s whole deal, and Jon’s coming of age, and I’d say only that last one is really properly served. Even Jon forming the United Planets, while contextually somewhat justified in terms of 1. The situation being so far gone he’s the only one who’d even think in those terms, 2. Things being bad enough that these assorted galactic powers would be willing to try it, and 3. Him having the S on his chest to sell it, isn’t at all built up to within the run itself.

* Rogol Zaar sucks. He’s made up of nothing but interesting ideas - he’s an ersatz warrior ‘superman’ of a bygone age of empires up against the new model, he’s the sins of Krypton as a conservative superpower come home to roost, he’s while not outright said to be definitely Superman’s tragic half-brother and the culmination of everything this run does with Jor-El - but none of them manifest on the page, he’s just a big punchy dude with a dumb design who screams about how you should take him seriously because he’s totally the one who blew up Krypton. Even a killer redesign by Ryan Sook for Legion of Superheroes can’t fix that. There are lots of bad villains with good ideas who are redeemed with time and further effort, but I can’t imagine Zaar getting that TLC to become a fraction of whatever Bendis envisioned him as.

* The second year of Action Comics, after establishing itself in its first as one of the most consistently gorgeous books on the stands, leads with Szymon Kudranski’s weak output and then concludes with John Romita Jr. turning in some career-worst work. The latter is particularly egregious because for that first year Bendis writes a really collected, gentle Superman so him getting pushed into being more aggressive should have an impact, but Romita draws such a craggy rough-looking Superman in the first place that it mutes any sort of shock value.

* WE NEVER LEARN WHAT’S UP WITH LEONE’S CAR, WHAT THE HELL. You don’t just DROP THAT IN THERE and then NEVER FOLLOW UP.

The Good

* Superman got his real clothes back after 7 truly ridiculous years.

* Bendis fundamentally gets Clark’s voice in a way unlike almost any other writer - even all-around better writers of the character almost never approach how spot-on he is with having Superman speak and act exactly how Superman should.

* Supporting cast front and center! He writes a dynamite Lois, Perry, and Jimmy (even if many of Lois’s more out-there decisions in the run don’t end up retroactively justified the way you’d hope), Ma and Pa are more fun than they’ve been in decades in their brief appearances, he manages to turn having Jor-El in the mix into a positive, and the Daily Planet as a whole has an incredibly distinctive vibe to it like never before that I hope is taken as a baseline going forward.

* The non-Rogol Zaar baddies? All ruled. Invisible Mafia and Red Cloud are both brilliant ideas executed solidly if overextended. Zod as Kryptonian Vegeta, Mongul as a generational perpetual bastard engine primed to be incapable of self-reflection, and Ultraman as “what if Irredeemable but he’d never been a good guy and also he was a Jersey mobster” are the best versions of those characters by numberless light-eons. Lex is on-point in his sparse appearances. Xanadoth as a mystical cosmic monster older than time who still talks like a Bendis character is however unintentionally a hoot. The alt-universe Parasite is a more intimidating Doomsday than Doomsday ever was. And Synmar as an alien culture’s attempt at creating their own Superman and messing up the formula when they make him a soldier can and should be a legitimate major ongoing villain coming out of this run.

* Pretty much all the art other than what I mentioned already. Fabok does a good job bookending The Man of Steel and Ivan Reis does the work of his career anchoring Superman (special props to Reis as well for drawing the first ever non-Steve Rude interesting-looking take on Metropolis), and meanwhile you’ve got Jim Lee, Jose Luis Garcia Lopez, Doc Shaner, Steve Rude, Kevin Maguire, Adam Hughes, Patrick Gleason, Yanick Paquette, Ryan Sook, Brandon Peterson, and David Lafuente doing their own parts.

* Closely related to the art, all the little flourishes with the powers. Super-speed having a consistent visual with the background coloring changing, Clark internally putting numbers to the degrees of force behind his punches and what situations which numbers are appropriate for, ‘skidding to a halt’ mid-flight before crashing through a window, the shonen-ass major throwdowns as portrayed by Reis, how his super-hearing is handled as a prevalent element. Lots of clever bits that added flavor to what he does.

* While Unity Saga has problems, the whole of what Bendis does in Superman as a means of forward momentum for Clark and his world is excellent. The sort of three-act structure of:

** Clark is led to question his place in things over the course of a few adventures

** Involvement in the larger cosmos and the impact it has had through and on his family makes him realize the answer to his questions is that he needs to step up in a bigger way because there’s no benevolent larger universe to welcome Earth with open arms, nor a cosmic precedent for everything turning out for the best without some help

** As a consequence of the lessons learned by this change in the status quo Clark is inspired to make his own personal change in revealing his identity (with Mythological basically being an epilogue showcasing a ‘standard’ standalone Superman adventure while simultaneously highlighting his new status quo and how it fits in as a summing-up of Bendis’s take)

…does a great job of shepherding through ideas that lend a lot of forward momentum to Superman of the kind he hasn’t seen in a long time. Not perfect, but far lesser stories with far lesser ambitions have made huge impacts, so I’d certainly hope at least some of this sticks around even if, say, regardless of any retcons to the main line there are always going to be stories with Clark as a disguise and Jon as a kid. Oh, speaking of whom,

* KISS MY ASS, EVERYTHING WITH JON KENT RULED

Ahem. Probably a less confrontational way of putting that.

Do I think there was more gas in the tank for Jon as a kid? Totally, making him likeable and viable was the one really good thing the Rebirth era accomplished for Superman and I expect we’ll continue seeing more of it in the future one way or another. But whether or not him being aged up was Bendis’s decision, or working with marching orders to set up the eventually-(kinda-)discarded 5G, the coming of age narrative here is fire. He keeps the essential Clark Kent kindness and bit of Lois Lane cheekiness that reminds you he’s still their kid, which is a combination Bendis is basically precision-crafted to write, but his trials by fire give him a background entirely unlike the by-the-numbers “and here’s how Superman’s great kid grew up to be a great superhero too” narrative you’d expect while still arriving at that endpoint. If superheroes live and die by metaphors then Jon in here is what it means to grow up written as large as possible: leaving home for the first time (and seeming to shoot up overnight!), getting into the muck of how the real world works, being beaten down by authority wearing faces you’ve been taught to trust, scrambling to get through with the whole world against you, and in the end getting through by learning to rely on your own strength while keeping your soul intact and your head held high, and even managing to speak some truth to power. It gives him a well-defined life story with room to go back to and explore the intricacies of each leg of for decades to come in a way Superman hasn’t had since the original Crisis - someone someday is going to write a The Life & Times Of The Son Of Superman miniseries and it’s going to be one of the greats - and negates any question that he’s earned his stature as the heir apparent.

* Coming out of this, Superman’s world is fascinating. He’s out but rather than giving up his day-to-day life he’s openly spending part of his life as CLARK KENT: SUPER-REPORTER and part of his job on the cape-and-tights side of things is now KAL-EL: SUPER-SPACE-DIPLOMAT, Lois Lane coruns a foundation helping people whose personal continuities have been fucked over by Crisis shenanigans, Jimmy Olsen owns the Daily Planet but is still doing Jimmy Olsen stuff because that’s how he gets his kicks, and Jon Kent is going to college in the future. I’m not anywhere near naïve enough to think that’s how things are going to be forever, or shortsighted enough to think there’s no value left in the traditional setups, but god I hope these developments stick around for a long, long time to come and potentially become the new ‘normal’ as far as the ongoing shared universe stuff goes, because it all feels like the right and promising next steps to take for the lives of these characters. However it got here, for all the pluses and minuses along the way even if I maintain the former very much outweighed the latter as a reading experience, Bendis has a lot to be proud of if that’s the legacy he leaves on these titles.

* The recap pages at the desks!

#Superman #Brian Bendis #Jon Kent #Opinion

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

Text

Top 12 Three Caballeros Moments: Ride of the Three Caballeros Epilogue!

Salduos Amigos...and Adios, as this is the FINAL part of my 20 part look at those happy amigos, those snappy chappies in matching serapes, those birds of the feather, THE THREE CABALLEROS, THE RIDE OF THE THREE CABALLEROS! Yes after 19 other articles, all paid for by megafan and patron of the blog @weirdkev27, it’s time to bid our boys a fond farewell. And what a ride i’ts been... we’ve had trips to Bahia, animaton sequences requiring a LOT of 1940′s cocaine ,Jose reinacting the plot of “Come a LIttle Bit Closer” by jay and the americans but ironcially not in the Badman Jose roll,, a less happy reunion where Donald went full vanilla ice for a few moments, Panchito giving us his long and storied family history in song form, Donald needing a vacation after his girlfriend punched him in the face and instead getting eaten by a giant snake, FLAMENCO MASTER HORACE HORSECOLLAR, Soccer with super cars, and our heroes having a warm and fun reunion and having to admit their lives didn’t turn out so good while Dewey jacaksses around in the subplot.

And all of this lead into their very own series where our heroes met a goddess and wayne knight all in the same day, defeated THE MIGHTY MINOTAUR, got into a giant robot fight on the fucking moon, meeting the roman gods who live on and tend to the norse world tree for some reason, preventing a stupidly started lava apocalypse, going to goblin jail via song, meeting some literal dead presidents, chasing a bear around a fancy rich people town, getting into the ch-ch-chalk zone, fighting a wrestling match against the respresntive of the god of death, dying and coming back to life as a result of said wrestling match, going to camelot to train with king arthrus’ self helf book, going to a yeti spa and finally returning for one last battle with an evil wizard, his pet monkeybatdonkeyrat, and wayne knight, and have to put up with Donald’s shrill abusive ex girlfriend through about half of it. All in all good stuff and i’ll always be greatful for kevn funding this and giving me the chance to both finally watch legend and in general cover these wonderful characters. While i’m sure Panchito and Jose wil lbe back for the big finale of Ducktales, I’m gonna miss these guys and hope they get another shot at the big time one day.

But Kevin had a great idea, one I decided to do for free since this thing cost 100 dollars together as it was a movie, and 20 episodes of television, so it was a LOT to do. Fun but a lot of work. A top 12 list of the best moments from across the works covered for this retrospective. From the movie to the series, these are the best of the best moments of the best boys around. So without further adeu join me under the cut as I throw one hell of an after party for one hell of a ride.

12. The Cold Blooded Penguin (The Three Caballeros (Movie) )

This one is low because it doesn’t exactly involve the boys at all as this was a short in their movie. But what can I say, I love penguins, especially Opus.

And the charming tale of a pengy named Pablo who has trouble with the cold and wants to head off for warmer climates just never ceases to entertain me. It’s adorable, pretty funny and just a nice little start to the film every time I watch it. Especially his friends with the sleepy, depressed eyebrows. Really relate to them, especially the tall one with a ponch, aka me as a penguin. Not much else to say hence why it’s so low, but I really enjoyed this short and can’t help but put Pablo on the list.. and wish he’d gotten a nod in Legend, but then again given we weren’t given a second season they were probably just saving him.

11. Charon’s Fabulous Cruise (Legend of the Three Caballeros) Another Cabs free entry but I Just love this concept: Charon, ferryman of the river sticks.. deciding since he’s not getting as many customers to turn it into a cruise ship complete with add. IT’s low both because it dosen’t involve the boys and it dosen’t take up much of it’s episode.. but damn if it ain’t funny. And Jim Cummings just brings his all to it.. granted HE always does, the man’s a legend for a reason, but dosne’t make his performance any less lovely. WIsh we got a second season just so we could see this guy again among other reasons.

10. You Don’t Get a Vacation You Take it (Legend of the Three Caballeros) Wayne Knight as Sheldgoose.. was easily one of the best parts of Legend of the Three Caballeros. While the show itself was fairly high quality it’s other main villain Feldrake eventually fell into just calling Sheldgoose a moron and hitting him as his only character. IN contrast while at first apperance Sheldgoose was just a rich asshole with hair that looks like a bad toupe but apparently is his actual hair and what he choose to go with and a hell of a moustache.. and while that’s all true, he’s also cunning and manipultive, often making Feldrake’s plans work simply by using clever manipulations. He’s funny, enaging and the sadest part of no second season is not getting more of this guy. Hopefully he’ll show up in another.. even the comics using him without Wayne Knight’s Dulect Tones would be nice. He’s a good villian and would fit just as well in the classic comics being either a snooty nuisance to donald in some way, or being a rival fro scrooge, also being rich but his family having earned it by stealing from others. But for now what we got ain’t bad and hte best example of just what sheldgoose is capable of is also his first bit of contirbuting more than as a set of hands for feldrake, phrasing. His vilian song. Yes Wayne Knight FINALLY gets a villian song. Your very welcome.

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The song is just fun, a Luau type song with a sinster undercurrent and wayne knight just having a hell of a time, alternating between speaking and singing> It’s low on this list because i’ts an OKAY song, i’ve seen better villian songs, I just really liked this one, and because it dosen’t exactly involved the boys, but I still hold to my convictions in putting this one on here.

9. Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González (House of Mouse) Only House of Mouse entry, and suprisingly it’s not Donald squeaking “And i’m donald duck!” , which has been burned into my brain for a few decades. No it’s the groups OTHER song in there second apperance on the show Not So Goofy, sung by the incomprable Rob Pauslen. While I sitll think he was easily the worst Jose of the bunch, and that the roll never should’ve been given to a white man to begin with, credit where it’s do: he wasn’t a have bad panchito. He only voiced everyone’s faviorite rooster, suck it Foghorn Leghorn, once, for a song, likely to capatalize on the fact Paulsen was famed for Yakko’s World and other songs where he sang a lot at once, but boy did he make a meal of it. Observe.

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The song is lightly hampered by the fact it also uses his version of Jose which is probably the worst work i’ve heard from Rob. And given it’s the only roll i’ve heard of his that wasn’t very good and he’s still VERY CLEARLY trying his best, that says a lot to the guy’s quality. And im not saying all this to avoid backlash, I stand by what I say and how I say it.. i’m saying it because I truly love and respect the guy this just was not his best work. This song however is Rob on full blast, using his ablitlity to talk fast no matter the voice to give us one heck of a lively performance and name for Panchito, one that was reused for Ride of the Three Cabs though sadly minus the song, as I would’ve LOVED to hear Jamie Camill belt this one out. But the lively animation and liveleir performance earn this one a spot.

8. Baia, Donald (The Three Caballeros) For this one i’m squishing three different but related parts of the movie together: The “Have you been to Baia, Donald” song, the train trip there and the awesome musical number at the end. But all three flow together as one great sequence with the frist two serviing as a fun prelude for a fun sequence as Donald and Jose try to woo a lady named Yaya, played by Aurora Miranda, and get into a big and fun dance number that for the time is AMAZINGLY blended with the live action work. The song is an utter ear worm, the seqeunce is fun and it lacks some of the creepiness Donald’s later session of flirting had and the colors are vibrant as hell. Wonderful, beautiful stuff. It’s really hard to talk about as not a lot happens in it other than a fun bit of song and dance.. but sometimes tha’ts just waht you need: a bunch of actors, two of which were animated, moving and groving to a heckuva beat.

7. I Love You Guys (Legend of the Three Caballeros) This was just a very sweet moment but one I treasure. The Cabs beat a giant horrifying rage beast.. by genuinely apoologizing to donald, telling him they love him then having a group hug. After a full episode before this of them just kinda ignoring what he cared about, Xandra and the boys genuine apologies and Donald genuinely telling them “I love you guys” and realizing for the first time in his life he’s genuinely loved and appricated. It just feels so fucking nice. Shame they didn’t you know.. end the Daisy plot with him realizing he dind’t need or or that he wasn’t angsiting over a selfish goldigger in the first place but hey, you take what you can get sometimes and the getting is good here.

6. The Cabs Song .. in Comic Form! (The Three Caballeros Ride Again!)

Another fairly quick one to talk about but one’s that damn impressive. The Three Cabs ride again is a wonderful story that reunites our birds of a feather for an adventure in mexico.. and one of it’s two best moments, the other one way further up from Don Rosa’s classic, seriously check it out it’s good, is when the boys, to distract their enemy for the story, play their classic song. Musical numbers.. are hard to pull off in comics. As Linkara, comic critic and one of my inspirations check him out on youtube he’s really fantastic, has mentioned quite a bit not having the sound to go with it is an uphill battle. But i’m not as against this as he is.. as long as you can convey the ENERGY of said song and perofrmance in the page. As long as you got that, you can pull it off and boy oh boy oh boy did Rosa ever. While it’s only about a page and a half long it’s just a fun, wonderful litlte sequence, from the crowd that has no reaction til lthe end when our big bad clubs them with the guitar, to our heroes swipining tablecoths to seve as serape to Donald falling outside, it’s one of the highlights of an alreayd impressive story.

5. Jam Session (Ducktales, The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!)

Only one Ducktales moment but it’s a keeper to be sure and now I HAVE seen Legend... I can say as I did there Jamie Camil REALLY shoudlv’e been kept as Panchito but “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice”.. really was still ag reat version of the characters and still kept them true. It wasn’t AS good as the Legend versions.. but honestly that’s fine. Not every version HAS to be good as the others and they were still wella cted, wonderfully animated and the story was great. And the moment that shows it off best is the boys quite moment after lunch, where they remincse, have fun, think about old times.. then hear a radio and slowly but surely have a fun dance number together, playing like old times. It’s this moment that makes me REALLY question why people hated this so much, as this one tiny moment captures the cabs chemistry and comrander in just two short minutes, Donald getting angry, Jose defusing int with a dance then him joining in, the three just jamming iwth whatever’s on hand and jose magically playing the fluit with his umbrella. I’ts all just so charming I love it. The end version of the three cabs IS really awesome, it just didn’t make the cut. Still liked it though.. but this.. this is better. Sometimes less is more you know?

4. The Three Cablleros Song (The Three Caballeros (Movie) ) Look you knew this was coming, I knew this was coming, we all knew this was coming. But the song is no less awesome, with fluid animation, wonderful vocals and lyrics, and an unberably catchy tune. It’s iconic to the characters, having popped up in four different renditions during this retrsopective, all of them pretty damn good, but no one tops the original. Even the two more dated bits, some latin baby and Panchito having a gun solo, somehow don’t hamper what’s otherwise an iconic moment. It’s fun, it’s fancy free, and it establishes the boys dynamic perfectly, one that as we’ve seen would last a few lifetimes and probably will last forever.

3. We Say So! (The Three Caballeros Ride Again) While Ride again is a VERY good story, it’s best moment is ironiclaly it’s end despite leaving you wanting more and more. After a fun adventure and a laugh over it being for nothing really, our friends return to Jose’s job at a night club, which his manager, who understandably has issues with Jose choosing wooing ladies over actually doing his job sometimes, only gives him back because it’s a big night but needs a big act. The first touching moment here is the fact the boys pitch in without being asked because hteir friend needs them. But the real moment is what happens after: The Triplets return from the hotel, still bemoaning as they did ealrier in the story that Donald has no friends and assume when they see him on stage and see him crash off it that he incited a riot.. only for his friends to assure him he’s a very fine fellow and they say so.. and in an instnat the boys realize donald DOES have friends.. and the best friends a duck can ask for. And after a lifetime of being spat on and barely winning.. Donald gets an unquestioned victory, stnading proudly with his friends for a packed house who still want more while his nephews look on proudly. I say so.. and what I say is that this moment is one of Rosa’s finest and one of the most touching thigns the man’s ever written.

2. This is Just Where I Came In (The Legend of the Three Caballeros) The Legend of the Three Cabs was excellent and it ended on one hell of a high. After a heck of a fight via callbacks that barely didnt’ make the list, our heroes rush in to stop Feldrake. their sorcerer nemisis, from reviving.. only for it to be too late. He’s back in full and soon warps reality around him leaving the boys hometown of the New Quackmore insitute as a series of rubble, buildings and people clinging desperatly to both floating in a hell of a starry backdrop, the only chance to stop this from happenign to the world resting in our heroes. And it’s so we catch up with where the seires began: our three heros decked out in truly awesome armor, though why Panchtio’s is roman I have no idea, fighting a giant and mosnterious felldrake and while his deisgn in that form is eh, his threat is palpable and the fight is goregous and pitch perfect.. and only gets better when we catch up, as Xandra swoops in to save htem from the cliffhanger the series started with. It only isn’t up top because of tow reasons; I like the first moment better.. and the boys do fall in a magic pool of amulet juice and emerge with powers due to a character we just meet when they do so. It’s a bit of a cop out.. but even with it being a cop out and a dues ex machina of the HIGHEST order.. it dosen’t stop it form being awesome when our heroes emerge merged with thier amulets energies, in their signutre colors and whoop felldrakes ass with a revivied Xandra’s help and then nearly reseal feldrake before his being resealed, but in Sheldgoose, resotres everything and our heroes get a WELL earned bout of praise from the town and a fancy mansion and in donald’s case a new job. A specatuclar, tense and gorgeous finale to a wonderful series.

1. Ride Em, Vaquero! (The Magificent 7 (Minus 4) Caballeros) Look I know it sounds like a bit of a downgrade to go from a battle for the fate of the world to our heroes fighting a spoiled prince and a giant anaconda just to make it out alive.. but frankly this battle is more tense, has all boys showing off even better, and has a climax so awesome even saving the unvierse with suddenly gained magic powers can’t top it. For the setting our heroes end up trapped in a lost city with the bad guy of the comic, Don Rosa’s second to last and his second of only two cabs stories, prepared to get away. But then Donald snaps, spurred on bya ll the shit he had to put up with back home,and TACKLES the fucking guy in his boat getting into one hell of a scrap. And if that wasn’t enough, what brings this to true glory is a giant Anaconda who shoed up earlier, popping up.. leading to Donald fighting our big bad.. WHILE BEING TANGLED UP IN A FUCKING PYTHON.

What truly clinches this as the best of the best for me though is Jose and Panchito’s actions, with Jose fighting the guy off off donlad, and actually having his umbrella WORK this time, and while the bad guy gets the raft from our heroes.. he falls off a cliff. So how do our heroes escape.. simple .. PANCHITO LASSOS THE FLEEING SNAKE AND THEY RIDE IT OUT AS SEEN ABOVE THROUGH A POND FULL OF DANGEROUS CREATURES WHO ALL STARE IN AWE AT THE SIGHT OR FLEE. You.. you just can’t top that. The awesomness, the teamwork, the sheer balls on panchito..i t’s all just so beauitful and sums up what the boys are about: Deft teamwork, camradire.. and doing utterly insane shit as only best friends can.

So with that.. this ride has come to an end. As I said before and will say again, it’s been fun, easily the biggest project i’ve done so far, and easily one of my faviorites. I love these guys and geninely hope we see them again real soon. So before I go, i’d like to say some thank yous. I”d like to thank ALL of the talented people involved in the making of the original film, as there are way too many to mention as it was a package movie but without you lovely and mostly deceased people we’d never have these wonderful guys. I’d like to thank Don Rosa for bringing the boys back and better than ever and beautifully so AND returning to them again. I’d like to thank Henry Gilroy and Phil Walsh, who wrote the first and second house of mouse cabs episodes for bringing the boys back to the screen, as well as series creators Robert Gainway and Tony Craig and the MASSIVE pile of storyboarders for both episode. I’d like to thank the people behind mickey and the roadster racers, while your episodes were not very good I am glad the boys got more screentime, i’d like thank Frank Angrones and Matt Youngberg for their wonderful versions of the boys and total respect to their legacy, and i’d REALLY like to thank Matt Danner for giving us a wonderful series and finally giving the boys a starring roll again.

I’d also like to thank the MANY voice actors who voiced these wonderful characters, your beautiful all of you. To Donald’s voice actors for this retrospective i’d like to thank Clarence Nash, you absolute legend may you rest in peace, Tony Anselmo, may you keep on living please god we’ve lost a lot of good people lately don’t be one of them, and even Daniel Ross, who might not be the best Donald but he’s one of only five and you can’t take that way from him.

For Jose i’d like to thank Jose Olivara, without you I don’t think we would’ve even gotten to the Cablleros as a group, Rob Paulsen, you tried your best and your still a winner in my heart, Eric Bauza, you genuinely were the best, and Bernardo Del Paula, who gave Bauza a run for his money and I hope returns in the role in the future.

And finally for Panchito we have Joaquin Grey, again wouldn’t of had the rest without you man nice job, Carlos Alarzqaui, did the job and did it well, Rob Paulsen, gave us one hell of a song, Jamie Camill, the best around no one’s ever going to keep him down, Arturo Del Purto who while I prefer jamie.. still was excellent and I wouldn’t be mad if he returned again.

And last but not least I’d like to sincerly thank @weirdkev27. These reviews have GENUINELY helped me finacially since i’ts hard for me to find a job since I cannot drive and have a disablity, and thanks to htem i’ve been able to live comfortably and thanks to you in general i’ve been able to do what I love and get paid for it. You got me to do this wonderful restrospective, have been a genine support to the blog and a treasure to work with. Thanks man, your the best. So with that, it’s time to ride off into the sunset. If the cabs get another apperance outside of ducktales, I will pick this up again... and wether it’s in a year or ten you bet your bottom peso they’ll be back. Who says so? I says so.

#the three caballeros #the three cablleros ride again #don rosa #jose carioca #donald duck #panchito romero miguel junipero francisco quintero gonzalez #panchito pistoles #ducktales #the legend of the three caballeros #house of mouse #xandra goddess of adventure #charon #wayne knight #baron von sheldgoose #lord feldrake #duck comics #disney ducks #disney #disney plus

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agent-cupcake · 4 years

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Imagine having a child with a guy named Jimmy. Cursed.

OTHERWISE you all pretty much echoed what I was thinking, bless you.

cw pregnancy / forced pregnancy

(As ever, this is all in the context of dark personalities. I hesitate to say yandere, although that’s kind of become synonymous with dark personality AU’s and an obvious argument can be made that a darker take on the characters could lead into a yandere scenario)

Ferdinand von Aegir

~While I don’t think he’d go out of his way to have a baby, he definitely wouldn’t take any steps to avoid it, either. That is, he wouldn’t really stray into breeding kink territory or anything of that kind but he’s not gonna pull out either.

~But, yeah, if you were to get pregnant, Ferdinand wouldn’t be displeased by any means. He’d legitimately think it was the best way to “fix” things and out of a misguided attempt to ignore any negative aspects of the relationship and cling to the idealism of a happy marriage.

~Just a side note, but I def see him with a body worship kink and I can only begin to imagine how that would intensify with his weakness for the softness and so-called beauty of motherhood. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.

~Honestly, I don’t see him overtly leveraging as a manipulation tactic. No, he’s good enough that his genuine feelings could do the job for him. Like, it’s not just you anymore. You’re responsible for another life so don’t you think you just trust him and let him take care of you? Oh, sure, he’d humor you (on account of the hormones) and say that he understands why you’re upset, but please just calm down. Everything will be all right, he’ll take care of you.

~I think that Ferdinand would want a family even without the whole dark personality aspect. The way he’d see it is that children are a natural result of a union and love. He’d absolutely cherish your children if for no other reason than the fact that they’d be half you, although you can’t tell me that he wouldn’t have a horrible weakness for kids.

~You’d be barely showing and he’d be picking out baby names and getting opinions on how to decorate the nursery and occasionally freaking out due to anticipation and nerves. He’d be really, disastrously, over-the-top protective, too. I just assume white magic would greatly lessen the infant and mother mortality rate but that doesn’t entirely remove the risk of complications so he’d be cloyingly careful about everything you ate, keeping tabs on any possible oddity going on with you. And, you know, I think he would enjoy emotionally taking care of you. Like if you were scared or sad or anything, I think he’d enjoy comforting you in a way that’s definitely not healthy. He’d enjoy being needed, I suppose.

~Yeah, so overall I view any sort of darker personality take on Ferdinand to be him, but with his sweet and noble and protective traits dialed up to an eleven without any sort of self awareness to make him pause and consider that maybe you don’t feel the same so having a child like this, as an intentional act of manipulation to make you stay or not, would be within the realm of possibilities.

Sylvain Jose Gautier (Bastard Man)

~Sylvain is pretty easy to imagine with a dark personality. I mean, assuming you have no pity in your heart and are willing to write him in a way that he never was able to get over his myriad issues, self hatred, severe distrust of people’s true intentions, and familial trauma.

~Assuming all that, and entertaining the idea that he could never find a good balance of repression and escapism, I think Sylvain would create an unhealthy emotional bond to a single person he believed to be exempt from his overall dismal regard for people and do this fun little thing where he’d chaotically flip flop between extreme emotions of distrust, blame, and anger and adoration, need, and a desperation to be seen as he was and still loved.

~But it’d be a brutal cycle because he’s not the delusional type. Sometimes he could be, both with the good and the bad, but those would be kind of episodic. There’d be bad days where he’d be utterly convinced that you were just like the rest and he’d pick little fights and generally just be pretty pissy. But then sometimes he’d be blinded by love and so caught up in it that even if you told him no, he’d take it with a cheeky wink because of course you loved him and everything was so good. But, mostly, it’d just be a lot of dysfunction and Sylvain trying to lure you into a nice, good relationship with him by being mostly normal and decently charming and even, occasionally, being vulnerable (and tricking you into being vulnerable with him).

~Anyway, back to the point. With all that context, why not bring a baby into the mix, right?

~How many times does Sylvain bring up crest babies. Please, someone do a hard count and get back to me because damn son. So, may I just say, if anyone of these three were to have a breeding kink it’d be him. Is that controversial? Just think about it. Every girl ever wants him mystical crest cum, right? So, mentally, the whole thing would have a lot of weight and significance. Also Sylvain just strikes me as the type who’d be self aware enough of his dark and unhealthy needs that staking as intimate of a claim as that would be erotic. Unlike the other two, the act of forcing an irreversible and tangible change in your body and mind would be interesting. Not that he’d tell you any of that, or even dwell on it himself.

~I’m torn between Sylvain saying it was an accident and him using the argument that since the two of you were in love, it was only natural that you’d start a family together. How could you not want to have his children? Better yet, how was he supposed to know that you wanted to wait.

~But if you continued to be unreasonable, he’d go on the defensive. Like, what are you going to do? Leave him? For what? To raise his baby on your own? Or, worse, abandon your child? If you thought he’d voiced unfairly negative opinions about women before, the way he’d talk about a mother who abandoned her child and such a good, happy life with a loving husband would be infinitely worse. After all, he wanted to make a change in your relationship and be happy together. He wanted to be a good, loving father. He wanted a family with you. After everything, what kind of person would you be to throw that all away?

~So that’s... a lot.

~But Sylvain’s the type to be awful in the moment then regret it after the heat dies down. Knowing he’d hurt you would genuinely tear him up inside. All of that adoration and desperation to keep you with him because he’d feel like he needed you to be happy would kick in and he’d break down under the guilt and tell you how much he loved you, how happy it made him to think that the two of you could have a family, that he knew you would be a great mother, that he knew he’d messed up but he would make it up to you, that you really could be a happy family.

~Just saying, I can see him taking a perverse sort of pleasure in the physical effects of pregnancy. Also, he’d definitely be a lot softer with you. Guilty conscience, anyone?

Dimitri (Dimi) (Jimmy)

~You, dear anon, said it better than I could have myself. I agree SO HARD that Dimitri would be terrified of being a parent, but at the same time I think, if it were to happen, he’d be utterly enamored with the idea. There’s a lot more that I think about how he’d regard fatherhood, but that’s the gist.

~Funny thing is, darker Dimitri is just like... More needy... unbearably protective... Paranoid... less stable... bad at managing his emotions when it comes to you... But, like, the same general emotions about fatherhood would apply because that’s already pretty complex. Only, this time, with an obvious emphasis on how it would effect you and your relationship.

~I was going to say that I can’t see Dimitri purposefully impregnating you, but that’s not entirely true. In a fit where he’s feeling especially raw and paranoid, I think he would do it very purposefully and even almost-kinda-sorta relish in the idea.

~I view his obsessive feelings to be like an itch he can’t quite scratch because he knows better than anybody how easy it would be to lose you and doesn’t know how to manage both his own instability with the unpredictable world because at any moment it could all spiral apart.

~So, this in mind, he could believe that having a baby would make things different. More than just vows or words or rings or anything, it would be a concrete and absolute tie between the two of you. He would have an unquestionable claim over you that would go beyond the scope of just your relationship, you’d be carrying the royal heir which would give Dimitri even further valid excuses to be suffocatingly overprotective.

~It would be... So messy... On the one hand, I think the concept of fatherhood, of being given another chance, of being needed that much more by both you and the child, would really appeal to him. It could even sand off some of the rougher edges of his darker traits, now that he had this assured security in keeping you with him. Sure, the itch wouldn’t be scratched entirely, but it would be easier to ignore, there would be a solid way to reassure himself that you were his.

~But Dimitri’s got this awful middle ground of self awareness. Anything that would come off delusion would be a result of his endless attempts at rationalizing his unhealthy feelings and trying to make sense of it all without having to actually confront the issues. But that wouldn’t mean he wouldn’t know, on some level, that what he was doing wasn’t healthy and how bad it was for you. The guilt would be intense, which would be apart of the reason he needed to keep you so close all the time because then he could pretend that you needed him just as badly, that everything was all right because he could take care of you better than anyone else.

~Dimitri’s self aware guilt would allow a part of himself to understand that he should let you go. He could even, on the bad days, convince himself that maybe, one day, he would allow you to leave him because he loved you, because what he was doing was wrong. As long as you were near him, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself, he would always hurt you.

~But using pregnancy to force you to stay with him would, perhaps even in an intentional subconscious way, cut off that last-ditch contingency to ease his own guilt and pain of what he was doing by keeping you with him. Now that you were going to be having his child, the royal heir, would mean that you could never leave. He’d know it. You would probably know it, too.

~After that point, Dimitri would double down with proving his affection, proving that he was capable of taking care of you and his child and that you could be a family and everything would be okay.

#fe3h #fire emblem three houses #ferdinand von aegir #sylvain jose gautier #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #yandere #fe ferdinand #fe sylvain #fe dimitri #pregnancy tw #headcanons #this is fucked up and i didn't intend to have this much to say #fucking jimmy #i'm not even INTO this like fuck having children but when it's all mental fuckery it tastes so good #i'm sorry guys

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emotionally-imbruised · 5 years

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Sink or Swim

In which Harry and Y/N work together as lifeguards.

A/N: here’s (a little late but) day 17 for my bby @always-jackedup’s 25 days of summer. Make sure to go check out the pieces by all the other authors if you want some fun summer things to read. Also wow, this turned out longer than I was expecting; you all can blame Sarah.

Word Count: 15.8k

As much as she wanted this summer to be one for the record books, just like it had been in recent years, Y/N didn’t have too high of expectations. It sucked a lot, but finally after three years of being away, she was spending her first summer back home in California and to say she wasn’t all that excited about it at all, would have been an understatement.

Once she graduated high school, Y/N stayed in San Jose with her family for a year and a half. She didn’t go to university because frankly, she didn’t know what she wanted to do in life so instead, she worked her ass off while taking a few online classes to save up some money and go see the world. Which is precisely what she did.

She spent the last three years traveling through different countries, gaining new experiences, meeting the greatest people, eating the best food, and working wherever she could to keep doing so. It was an incredible experience, and she’d do it all again if she could, but it did make her feel very alone times, so at the beginning of the year, Y/N started longing for something more permanent. Somewhere she could stay that would allow her to decide what it was she wanted to do, whether that included school or not. After considering all of her options, she decided on heading back to California with plans of moving to LA at the beginning of September and embark on some new journeys in the land of opportunity... Even though the thought of doing that terrified her.

In preparation for her move, Y/N applied to various summer jobs as a way to save up more money until she was able to find a stable job in Los Angeles; and much to her surprise, a lot of those places were very interested in hiring her as a seasonal employee. Amongst those places expressing interest in her was Oceanside Resort and Spa on the outskirts of Bodega Bay. This fancy, membership-only resort that had been in the middle of hiring their summer staff, needed someone to fill one of the open lifeguard positions. The resort provided all training that was required, as well as staff accommodations for the entire summer (which was needed, seeing how far it was from home) and after considering all of her other options, was the one Y/N ultimately decided on. She did all her preliminary training in the weeks leading up to the beginning weeks of summer, and before she knew it, her family was dropping her off at the shuttle bus station in San Francisco to start her new adventure.

Despite its name, Oceanside was not actually located beside the ocean. Yes it was close, and the coast was only a few short minutes away, but Y/N found it somewhat ironic and couldn’t help but chuckle at the pictures of the resort printed in her welcome pamphlet; none of which included snaps of the Pacific. She knew it was stupid to be amused by such a little thing, but as she read the overly extra and dramatic explanation of how great this place was, her laughing increased and wouldn’t stop as she continued reading it over.

Maybe it was because of how she thought whoever decided to make Oceanside’s slogan “A Shell Of A Good Time” should never be allowed to make a slogan ever again, or maybe it was due to the lack of sleep she had the night before. But regardless, Y/N’s laughing didn’t subside and started gaining attention from others on the bus with her.

“Are you done?” A voice hissed from the seat in front of her, causing Y/N to snap her gaze up to be met with Aimee, her best friend from high school, staring back at her. The two of them had kept in touch for the years Y/N was away and decided to apply for jobs together. Lucky for them, Aimee was hired at Oceanside too but as a bartender at the poolside cabana rather than being a lifeguard like Y/N. The two of them applied to be roommates in the cabin that would act as their home for the summer, and as if their luck couldn’t have gotten any better already, they were approved for that too. “We’re not even there yet, and you’re already going to start annoying the shit out of our coworkers.”

“Sorry,” Y/N replied sheepishly, lowering herself into her seat more as her chuckles reduced to snickering. “Ok, but for real... have you read this thing?”

“Yes, I have,” Aimee stated as she reached over to snatch the pamphlet from her best friends grasp, turning back around so Y/N wouldn’t see the broad grin plastered on her face as well. “And yes I know it all sounds ridiculous but, a job is a job.”

“Got that right. And this place seems to have its perks, won’t be the worst job ever.”

Aimee just nodded before turning around to face Y/N again and tossing the now crumpled up pamphlet between the ugly blue patterned seats at her head. “Exactly, and we’ll be together. It’ll be a summer to remember.”

“I don’t know about that,” Y/N grumbled with a shrug, not paying any attention to the skeptical look Aimee was giving her as she tried to uncrumple the piece of paper on her lap. “I’m not here to have fun, you know? Sure if it happens, great, but I really need this job Aims… or LA just won’t be happening. I need to do good here and not mess it up.”

“I know,” Aimee responded and waited for her friend to make eye contact again. “But you can’t be having that mindset, ok? Obviously, work hard and everything, but also let yourself have fun, Y/N. We’re adults now and won’t have many more chances to do things like this. May as well make it count.”

There was no point in arguing against Aimee’s statement because Y/N knew she was right. Although her main focus of the summer was to make as much money as she could and save it, that thought alone made her fear about wasting away one of her favorite times of the year; which was the last thing she wanted to do. She thought about how maybe she could put herself out there a little bit and see what would happen, but for the time being, she decided on just biting down on her lip and nodding in agreement.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I know I’m right, you don’t gotta tell me.”

“Oh, whatever,” Y/N scoffed as Aimee laughed and faced forward again, preparing to put her headphones on and just zone out for the remainder of the drive. However, before she had the chance to do that in peace, Y/N leaned forward and lowered her voice just so that only Aimee could hear. “Hey Aims, do you know what we’re going to have?”

“Don’t say it.”

“A shell of a good time,” Y/N blurted out, trying so hard to keep a straight face. The audible groan that left Aimee’s mouth was enough to feed on Y/N’s ego and caused her to fall into another laughing fit. This went on for a few minutes, and as she was starting to recollect herself, Y/N noticed how Aimee was now slinging her duffle bag over her shoulder and standing up, all while giving her a pointed glare. “Come on, it was funny.”

“Sick of you already,” she mumbled in response before moving to sit in the seats a few rows behind Y/N in silence and remaining there for the rest of the trip.

Once they arrived at Oceanside, Y/N and Aimee were given a quick, half-assed tour of the resort before being shown where they’d be living for the summer. There was no need for them to get an entire lay of the land just yet seeing as their first day of work was still a few days away, and both girls were rather thankful they’d have the weekend off before diving right in.

Y/N took this time to really let it all sink in and appreciate how she actually got to call this place home for the next two and a half months. There was no doubting that Oceanside was absolutely stunning and genuinely seemed liked its own little private oasis. It had a very serene atmosphere and didn’t seem to be lacking in anything whatsoever. However, Y/N knew it may take her a little while to get used to everything.

The resort was huge. When the bus made way up the long winding driveway that starts at Oceanside’s gated entrance, the first thing that could be seen was the clubhouse; the place Y/N figured she’d probably be spending most of her time while clocked in for work when she wasn’t at the pool. The large cream-colored building was sat on top of a hill and stood out amongst the greenery surrounding it. Y/N was told this place was what made every other part of the resort accessible, and was the first stop on hers and Aimee’s little tour.

Once inside the sliding doors of the clubhouse, they found themselves standing in the middle of the lobby; the area that acted as the place everyone needed to go to first regardless of who they were. It was where the resort guests would check-in for their stay as well as to book any extra classes/activities they wanted to do, spa services, tee time on the golf course, or to simply get any information they needed. It was also where all the staff would have any meetings after hours and go to punch in and out for each of their shifts, seeing as it was connected to basically everything. The spa and gym were to the left of the front desk, the dining room where all the guests would eat their meals was to the right and had the kitchen attached to it at the back. The kitchen itself was unnecessarily large and staffed many people, but its size made sense seeing as there were apparently a lot of guests that came here throughout the summer.

To the back of the kitchen was a door that led to another large room, one that none of the guests had access to. It was not as fancy as the rest of the clubhouse by any means and was actually kind of run down, but to Y/N, it had the most character. To put it simply, it was a mess hall for all of the staff working at the resort. There were two long wooden tables with benches that took up most of the space in the room, matching very well with the old, cracked wooden flooring and beams that crossed above on the high ceiling. Sat at the tables were her new co-workers talking, laughing, gossiping, and eating with one another. Many of them sent friendly smiles Y/N’s way, but the odd person eyed her and Aimee up a little bit -- clearly aware of how the newbies have arrived.

Once Y/N and Aimee made it through the mess hall, they exited through a side door that entered out onto a beautiful stone and marble courtyard. There was a large fountain in the middle of it with four flower gardens that take up each corner of the space. Nothing covered it from above which left it to be filled entirely with natural light and just gave Y/N the best feeling. It was her favorite spot by far.

Just past the courtyard was the pool, and it exceeded all expectations as well. It too was quite large, having a shallow section for kids and a deeper end for adults only. There was little potted plants and succulents around the entire area and no shortage of lounge chairs whatsoever. One of the first things Y/N noticed was how two lifeguards were monitoring the pool as opposed to only one. There was one sitting on the lifeguard stand that was positioned on top of the natural-looking stone waterfall on the other side of the pool, while the additional lifeguard patrolled on the same side she was standing; watching for any out of the ordinary behavior with a rescue buoy in hand. She was quick in noting how her shifts would more than likely be with someone else and that alone gave her some peace of mind. After scoping out the rest of the pool area, the two girls made way to the poolside bar where Aimee would be working and alas, their tour ended.

Upon arrival to Oceanside, the first person, Y/N and Aimee, met was Mr. Andrew Slack, the manager of the resort and well, their boss. He was kind enough and was the one to give them the tour, however, he came across as a very busy man, and just as he was finishing showing them around, he got a phone call and had to leave the girls to fend for themselves. Andrew briefly explained where they had to go to get to where the staff housing was located, before muttering a quick goodbye and heading back towards the clubhouse and answered the phone. After a moment of silently watching him go, Y/N and Aimee glanced at each other and shrugged before heading down the path he pointed out to them so they could finally put their bags down and get settled in.

“Are you sure we’re even going the right way?” Aimee groaned from a few feet behind Y/N as they came to a fork in the road, looking at the various paths they could venture down. They were maybe two minutes from the clubhouse, the sounds of people chatting and splashing around in the pool could still be heard, but she was exhausted.

“Not particularly,” Y/N responded, letting one of her duffle bags fall to the ground as she approached a tall wooden sign that listed various places they could get to and which path they’d need to take, one of them labeled staff cabins. She looked down the trail to her left, and sure enough, more laughter and chatter could be heard from what she assumed was others moving in as well. “This way, I think.“

The two girls walked down the path Y/N suggested, and soon enough, they came into a large clearing where fifteen different cabins resided. Five of the cottages were a bit smaller than the others, which only allowed two people to stay in them rather than the four that would remain in any of the others. According to one of the people on the bus there, only returning staff were able to apply for the two-person cabins, but both Y/N and Aimee were already aware that they’d be sharing a living space with two other girls, so that fact didn’t really phase them. Not every staff member needed accommodations because many were locals to the area, but nonetheless, Y/N was thankful that she did indeed have a place to stay.

Aimee inched ahead in search of their cabin and didn’t realize Y/N had fallen back a bit while she was taking in their surroundings. With a small smirk forming on her lips, Aimee decided to snap her best friend out of the little daze she was in. “Watch out for that root.”

“What root-,” Y/N started and snapped her gaze to Aimee, before staggering a bit as she took a step forward and tripped over a thick tree root that was sticking up from the ground. She quickly regained her balance and played it off as if nothing had happened, earning a loud chuckle from Aimee. “Ah, that root.”

“And they want you to be a lifeguard? Those poor people.”

Y/N just glared at her friend instead of responding as they continued forward in search of cabin 4.

It didn’t take long for them to reach their new summer home and just upon the sight of the slightly rundown looking cabin, Aimee was full-on sprinting up the steps in hopes she could claim the first bed. Y/N trudged after her, slowly making her way up the rickety wooden steps, but halting when a loud crack and some shouting sounded from behind her.

“Oi! Now, look what you’ve done.”

She raised her eyebrow skeptically at the sudden commotion before gradually spinning around on her heel to see what the hell was going on. On the other side of the trail, at the cabin directly across from hers, Y/N observed as two boys stood outside of their tiny lodge that was almost identical to her own. One of them had his back to her, and she couldn’t help but stare as his body rippled with laughter, letting her eyes roam more than she intended. He wore a pair of dark pants and a simple white t-shirt. Multiple tattoos littered his left arm, while his right arm almost seemed bare. She couldn’t see much else but noticed how he had a pair of black sunglasses on is head as a way to keep his mob of brown, shaggy, curls away from his face. There was no way of knowing how long she stood there gawking at the man, but as soon as the guy he was with spoke up, she was brought back to reality.

“You know, the least you could do is help me.”

It was then Y/N noticed that the other boy was standing with one foot stuck in the staircase. Somehow one of the wooden planks snapped and resulted in him falling through the step. Y/N immediately thought about all the first aid training she’d endured just to be ready for this job and found herself dropping all of her things on the porch before rushing down the stairs and over to the two men.

She didn’t waste any time in brushing past the guy in the white shirt to get to his friend, because truthfully, he could have gotten really hurt and the other guy was not being any help. “Hey, are you alright?”

“Oh, just dandy,” the guy stuck in the stairs muttered before placing a hand on the railing and using it to keep himself balanced as he stepped out from the broken wood and up onto the deck. “Thanks for your concern, though. Nice to know someone’s watching out for me when my so-called friend isn’t.”

“Oh, get off it,” the other man spoke up from behind Y/N again, sparking her interest with how the words came from his mouth in with a distinctly British accent. Slowly, she turned around to actually get a look at them, and when she did, she felt as if the air had been knocked right out of her chest.

As soon as she locked eye contact with the man, his familiar green eyes widened in surprise as they both gawked at each other in complete and utter shock. He recognized her too.

“You-.”

“I know you!” His voice boomed and caused a blush to immediately burn across her cheeks. “We went to high school together, yeah?”

The man in front of her was none other than Harry Styles. A kind British lad who was two grades ahead of Y/N, all through high school. They had some mutual friends, and Y/N was aware of how Harry had moved from a small town in Cheshire to San Jose during her freshman year. The two were never really that close, but they knew of each other and had met a few times in passing, which left Y/N to be more than surprised at the fact that he’d even recognize her.

“It’s Y/N, innit?”

“Uh yeah,” she replied and shook her head free of any lurking thoughts, fully aware of how he’s aged very nicely over the years. “It is. And you’re Harry, right?”

“The one and only.”

“Pretty sure there’s other Harry’s in the world, dumbass,” the other guy spoke up from behind her again, causing Y/N to chuckle.

“You’re not funny, mate,” Harry snapped before making eye contact with Y/N and letting out a huff. “That there is my irrelevant and incompetent roommate, Nick. Guess he’s m’friend and all too, but that’s just a minor detail.”

“The greatest detail actually, seeing as I’m the only one that’ll put up with you.”

“Ok, anyway,” Harry cut his friend off with a glare, a small smile forming on his lips as he watched Y/N giggling at their antics. “What brings you to Oceanside?”

“I needed a summer job,” Y/N explained with a shrug, looking between the two boys as they nodded in understanding. “I went away for a while and am now trying to make ends meet. What better way to do that than being a lifeguard at some fancy resort? Man, I feel like I’m in High School Musical 2 just being here.”

“It gives me more Dirty Dancing vibes, but I can see why’d you think that,” Harry responded with a warm smile, causing a swarm of butterflies to form in the pit of Y/N’s stomach.

“Yeah we’re basically living in a cliche summer romance movie, aren’t we?” Nick piped up before nodding towards Harry. “But hey, at least now you know who the new lifeguard is.”

“You’re a lifeguard too?” Y/N asked surprised, feeling caught off guard by just how small the world was seeming to be.

“Yeah, s’my what, third summer working here now? That sounds about right.”

“Oh, wow,” Y/N replied, making no attempt in masking her shock. “Must be an alright job.”

“Pays the bills at least,” he told her with a shrug. “It’s a good way to make money when you’re not in school for the summer, m’assuming that’s what you’re doing .”

“Kind of. I uh, I didn’t go to university once I graduated high school and traveled instead. Reality caught up with me eventually, and now I need to work so I can start figuring what I’m going to do with my life. I’m moving to LA in September, so hopefully, I’ll figure something out there.”

“Weird, so is Harry,” Nick added.

“Really?”

“I am,” Harry answered. “Got an internship with a record label there, gonna try to amount to something I guess.”

Y/N watched as his gaze fell from hers to the ground, where he awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to another. He didn’t seem too confident talking about this specific subject, so Y/N took it as a hint to move on from it. “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great. Anyways, my roommate is probably wondering where I went, I uh, I’ll see you guys around. And maybe you should get someone to fix that step before someone actually does get hurt.”

The three of them laughed before Y/N slowly started backing away and headed towards her cabin. Nick waved her goodbye, but Harry didn’t say anything. It made her wonder if she had said something wrong, but regardless, she shook her head and made her way up the steps to gather her bags again and head inside; utterly oblivious to how Harry’s eyes didn’t leave her once as he watched her walk away.

The next four weeks went by rather quickly, and Y/N was already having much more fun than she had anticipated. In her short time working at Oceanside, she had already managed to develop quite a few friends from the people she’d met, and it made the whole experience better, just like Aimee had said. Her and Aimee both made fast friends with their two other roommates Dana and Maya, who were twin sisters but couldn’t be more different from one another. Dana worked as a waitress in the dining hall for the guests, while Maya worked out on the golf course providing beginner lessons to those who signed up for them. The two sisters butt heads a lot, so it was smart to not have them working together in Y/N’s opinion, but she really did enjoy spending time with both of them nonetheless.

Another person she clicked with really well, was Nick. When he wasn’t busy sassing Harry or organizing activities and events for the guests to do during their stay, Nick was Y/N’s go-to person (other than Aimee) for anything really. He was her helping hand when she needed it, and the best person to rant or gossip to when something had irked her. She was the same type of friend to him, and it didn’t take her long to realize he’d be one of the people she knew she’d miss the most come to the end of summer.

Every guest Y/N had encountered who stayed at the resort, was very kind, and treated her with respect. She was quick in figuring out who the regular families were, the ones that came to Oceanside every summer as their vacation and got the lowdown on how long each of them had been doing so from Mr. Slack (or Mr. Whack as Harry and Nick would call him behind his back.) Amongst those families was the Huntington family. Mr. Huntington, a successful business mogul, had brought his family to and donated a lot of money to this specific resort for about eight years now, or at least that was what Mrs. Huntington had told Y/N. They were a very reserved family, but actually very friendly. Mrs. Huntington was a regular to the Tuesday morning water workout classes Y/N would teach and was a joy to be around while her husband would poke fun of her from where he lounged on a chair nearby. They had a son, Tyler, who was assumedly Y/N’s age and had many friends from other families that stayed there as well. When he wasn’t with those friends, he was spending time with his family or striking up a conversation with Y/N when she had some downtime during her shifts.

Last, and certainly not least, the final and the arguably most significant relationship she had developed so far, was with Harry. The two of them had almost exact work schedules, which naturally led to them spending a lot of time together. He was the one to show her the ropes of lifeguarding in general, as well as what to do in certain situations and was always there to have her back if needed. When both working, Y/N usually sat on the lifeguard stand while Harry patrolled the edge of the pool. They’d tease each other from a distance, sticking their tongues out at each other when no one was looking, or mouthing the words “don’t slip” when they switched their spots so Y/N could teach some of her workout classes.

The first thing that really warmed them up to one another was actually on Y/N’s first day. She had cut through the kitchen to get to the lobby to punch in on time and almost ran directly into Harry. She hadn’t seen him since she moved in those few short days before, but the way he just stared at her and started chuckling struck something within her.

“Do you have a problem?” She asked and grew slightly aggravated when his laughing increased. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” he said firmly and tried to regain his composure, but failed miserably. “It’s just that I didn’t know management was going for matching uniforms this year.”

Y/N scowled at him before slowly glancing down at her outfit to see what he was talking about, only to become even more confused. Her uniform was simple enough, just a red full-piece bathing suit that had to be paired with white shorts and if she so decided, the white terry cloth sweater she was given with Oceanside’s emblem on it. She paired the outfit with the metal whistle she had to wear, some sunglasses to keep her hair out of her face, and a pair of black Adidas slides because there was no way she was walking around the pool without proper footwear.

To her, there was nothing wrong with the outfit, but once she was finished taking in her own appearance, Y/N moved her gaze to Harry and finally realized what he was going on about. He too was wearing a pair of red swim trunks, with a kind of tight looking white tank top that also had the emblem stitched into it as well. His outfit was almost identical to her own, but what got her the most was how he too had a pair of sunglasses pushing his mob of curls back and a matching pair of Adidas sandals. The two of them looked ridiculous standing side by side.

“Oh god,” Y/N groaned, which only caused Harry to burst out into laughter again. She was about to make another comment, but before she could, her phone started buzzing with the reminder that her shift started in five minutes. “Crap, we should go.”

“Lead the way,” Harry responded and dramatically bowed as a way to tell her to go first. She shook her head and proceeded, only making it a few steps before he spoke up again. “Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Hate to break it to you, love, but I wear it better.”

Y/N scoffed and froze, turning to send him a glare but couldn’t help but laugh too as he just chuckled again and rushed forward to avoid her wrath. Their shifts together after that were just the same harmless and fun routine, and it really didn’t take Y/N long to realize just how much she enjoyed being around Harry, and that feeling only grew as the weeks went on.

One Friday afternoon, when Y/N and Harry were both finishing up their shift together by folding towels in the clubhouse laundry room so the lifeguards on the evening shift would have less to do, Harry decided to throw Y/N off guard with a question.

It was one he’d meant to ask her all week but couldn’t figure out how to bring it up in conversation. As he stood there watching her fold each towel with as much focus and precision as the last, he knew their shift was coming to an end soon and how he may not get to ask her if he didn’t do it right then. So, with a deep breath and a subtle clearing of his throat, he asked her.

“Are you going to the staff party tonight?”

“Hmm?” She replied, surprised, having to take a second to process the unexpected question. “Like the one that is thrown in the mess hall every weekend?”

“That’d be the one.”

“I uh, I don’t know,” she murmured and set down the last towel she had just finished folding. “Aimee, Dana, and Maya have been telling me I need to go to at least one. Apparently, they’re fun.”

“They are. S’nice hanging out with everyone in a non-work setting,” he explained, but avoided eye contact; suddenly feeling as if he might get turned down even though he has not built up enough courage to actually ask her out just yet. They’d become rather close, and there was this certain spark he felt whenever she was around, but again, was too chicken to actually do anything about.

“Are you going’?”

This time it was her question that caught him off guard because realistically he was expecting her to simply just say no. “Yeah I am, promised Nick I’d go with him.”

“Oh well if Nick is going then maybe I’ll consider it,” Y/N teased, unsure if this was his attempted way in saying he’d like her to go or not -- completely oblivious to just how bad he wanted her to be there with how well he masked it. He just chuckled in response as Y/N felt a sudden wave awkwardness consume the comfortable feeling she usually had whenever he was around. She glanced at the clock to see their shift had ended and decided to use that as an excuse to remove herself from the situation. “Looks like we’re done for the day. Maybe I’ll see you around this weekend?”

“Oh, yeah, see yeh Y/N.”

And with that, he watched her leave yet again.

After her conversation with Harry, it didn’t take much for Y/N’s roommates to convince her into going to the part, even going to the extent of her letting them pick out her outfit for the night. They decided on a simple black dress that Dana owned, one that just so happened to hug Y/N’s body in all the right places. The outfit was paired with a few of Aimee’s accessories while Maya styled her hair and if Y/N didn’t know any better, she’d assume those three were plotting something with how much effort they put into her appearance that night.

Once they were all dressed up, the four girls left the cabin and made way to the mess hall.

Y/N didn’t really know what to expect from this party, but upon stepping foot into the hall, she couldn’t help but let her eyes widen in surprise as she took in the scene around her. The two long wooden tables that regularly took up most of the space in the room were pushed against the walls and made a makeshift space that acted like a dancefloor. Couples danced together to the music playing, grinding and holding onto each other like a bunch of horny teenagers, while others exited from the kitchen with drinks in hand. It all looked like a scene from a movie, and Y/N had to shake her head at it all. Harry was right, this place really was much more like Dirty Dancing than High School Musical.

As if on cue, a familiar voice sounded from her right, and Y/N was soon faced to face with Nick. He wasted no time engulfing her in a tight hug before he moved on to greet the other girls. Y/N said hi to the people that had come over with Nick before moving her gaze to meet with an oh so familiar pair of stunning green eyes and smiling.

Harry had a wide grin on his face as he stepped towards her and pulled her into his chest for a quick hug as well. The gesture surprised Y/N, but she also found a sense of genuine warmth in his embrace before slowly moving away to look up at him again.

“You made it!” He exclaimed and just couldn’t stop smiling at the fact of her being there.

The way he grinned at Y/N made the butterflies in her stomach swarm, and she found herself having to break eye contact with him before her blush got too noticeable. She took that time to give him a once over and couldn’t keep herself from feeling some type of way. He was wearing a simple grey buttoned-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, shamelessly displaying his arm tattoos that just so happened to capture Y/N’s attention more than usual as the strobe lights danced across them. His hair was messy, but a good kind of messy Y/N decided; the entire look was just very, Harry and that thought alone made her smile.

“You look great by the way,” his voice snapped Y/N from her trance as looked around to see all of her friends have scattered and it was just her and Harry now.

“Thanks,” she continued to blush. “You look good too.”

A moment of awkward silence washed over them as neither really knew what else to say. Harry knew he could just end the conversation right there, but that wasn’t really something he wanted to do, so he began racking his brain for ideas on how to keep the conversation going. As if someone had heard him trying to think up something, the song that was playing changed and the upbeat intro of Right Back by Khalid started booming from the nearby speakers; causing him to grin all over again.

“Would you like to dance?”

“Me?” Y/N squeaked and glanced around because surely he wasn’t talking to her.

“Yes, you,” he chuckled. “I mean, I could ask Nick but who knows where he went off to.”

Y/N bit down on her bottom lip nervously, her heart fluttering at what felt like a million miles a second as she slowly nodded her head. “I’d like that.”

If it wasn’t for the few drinks she downed with her friends while getting ready for this thing, Y/N was sure she would not have been in this situation whatsoever. But alas, the alcohol gave her the liquid courage she needed to let Harry grab her hand and lead her out to the middle of the dancefloor. When they came to a small clearing, Harry dramatically spun around to face her again, causing her to laugh out loud as he dorkily pointed at her with finger guns. He had a goofy smirk plastered on his mouth as he started moving to the music and Y/N soon found herself swaying her hips to the beat too. She glanced at the people around her dancing very close to one another for this particular song and suddenly felt very out of place. They were entirely surrounded by couples.

As if sensing Y/N’s sudden discomfort at their setting, Harry mindlessly moved towards her until there were only a few inches between them. She looked up at him with wide eyes, but with him merely just being there, she didn’t feel as anxious. The two of them remained like that for a moment, lost in each other before Harry went to wrap his right arm around her waist; but stopped himself before he could.

“Uh, would you mind if I-?”

Y/N smiled at how he became so flustered, and simply could not find it in her to deny him. “You don’t have to ask.”

Harry didn’t know what to expect Y/N’s answer to be, but a massive wave of relief washed over him as he returned her smile and continued his movements. He snaked his arms around her waist just as the chorus started playing again and pulled her close, before shifting to rest his hands on her waist as they started moving to the music together.

Hesitantly, Y/N placed her hands on his chest before slowly moving them up to wrap around the back of his neck. Harry loved witnessing her gradually become more comfortable with what they were doing because with how much time he’d spent with her so far this summer, he knew this whole thing wasn’t exactly her scene. She seemed to actually be having fun, though. Throughout the song, she had already let him in more than she had over the last month, looking so content and at peace. It was at that moment Harry realized how he was going to do whatever he could in his power to make her feel that way as often as possible.

Y/N liked being this close to Harry more than she wanted to admit. There was something about him that drew her in and made her want to stay. Sure she considered him to be a friend and all already, but tonight felt different, a good different. She would never dance or act like this with just anybody, but with Harry, it felt natural.

Harry slowly leaned his forehead against Y/N’s as she started twisting the smalls curls at the nape of his neck and felt himself fall into a state of contentment as well. They danced with each other for the remainder of the song, along with the next two before Harry slowly started moving away.

A look of confusion washed over Y/N’s features, but it soon faded as Harry linked his hand with hers and started leading them away from the dancefloor. “Follow me.”

Y/N had no idea where he was taking her, but she didn’t question it either as she let him guide them towards the side door that led them out into the courtyard. There was no one else out there, which was a pleasant change from the crowded area they were just in.

As they walked hand in hand together, the two remained silent, and Y/N tried to keep her breathing steady as Harry gently rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and lead them towards the fountain. They started off talking about the night’s festivities along with not really knowing where all of their friends had gone off to, however, that casual conversation quickly turned deep when they started asking questions about each other, but in a very gradual, comfortable way that surprised both of them.

Y/N was the first to open up. She wasn’t really one to layout her entire life story just for someone to judge it and point out where things could have been changed, but with Harry, she didn’t feel that way once. He expressed genuine interest in what she was saying and soon enough, she was telling him everything. She explained why she thought she needed to leave California for a while after high school and her experiences abroad. With that, she talked about how she felt that time could significantly change people and as much as it sucks to admit, there’s nothing anyone can really do about it either. Her primary example being how Aimee is the only person she kept in contact with from high school because she had grown apart from everyone else. Y/N even went on to explain how she wasn’t able to form very close bonds with people she met during her travels, due to her fear of letting people in just enough so that she’s comfortable before leaving her high and dry.

Harry hung on to her every word, providing a comforting squeeze to her hand when she’d bring up things that were a bit tougher to talk about, and just nodding as she went on to let her know that he really did want to be there, listening to what she had to say. Once she was done, he could tell how relieved she was by simply being able to share all of that with someone she trusted enough to know the things that made her, her. Harry knew how much Y/N appreciated him for letting her vent, and in return, let him know that she would do the same for him if he ever wanted to, and so he did.

The two talked for hours, although it only seemed like mere minutes to them. Once Harry finished his back story of everything that had happened since he graduated high school, he expressed his want to return to England soon and that his money from this job was going to allow him to do so. He went off about how excited he was for his move to LA and his dreams of making it big in the music industry one day, but for now, Harry was rather content with where he was (specifically in that moment with Y/N).

As the night went on, it was Y/N that noticed the party had died down, seeing as no music could be heard anymore and that it was getting rather late.

Y/N was fully aware of how neither she or Harry worked the next day but still felt a little anxious at the thought of her friends giving her an earful for not having a clue as to where she had gone or who she was with. Luckily for her, the conversation she was having with Harry was much more lighthearted than it was before and she didn’t feel as bad for interrupting it.

“Hey, H?” She spoke up, smiling inwardly to herself at the little nickname she’d mindlessly decided to call him. “I think everyone’s gone back to the cabins, think we should go too?”

There was no doubting that Harry didn’t want the night to end just yet and couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at the thought itself. So, being the quick thinker he was, he glanced around at their surroundings and tried to think of a way to keep her around; a mischievous grin dancing on his lips when his gaze falls on the pool and an idea sprang to his mind. “We could do that, or we could do something completely different. Something fun.”

“Oh, well, what did you have in mind?”

“Something that I’m going to do regardless of if you join or not, even though I’d much prefer if you did,” he smirked and observed as her eyebrows started to furrow.

“Harry…”

A tiny, heartfelt laugh left Harry’s mouth at the small pout that was forming on her lips as she spoke. She had no idea what he was planning, and it made him that much more excited to mess with her a little bit. He watched as she bit down on her lip in anticipation, and waited for him to say something and after a moment of keeping her on her toes, he leaned forward to whisper lowly in her ear.

“I’m going to go swimming.”

With that, Harry stood up from his spot on the edge of the fountain and jogged his way over to the pool. As much as Harry wished he could see the look of disapproval, he knew Y/N would be looking at him with, he didn’t stop to glance back at her. Instead, he approached the pool gate and glanced around to make sure no security guards were out on patrol, before quietly lifting the latch to unlock it and slowly pushing it open.

Once inside the gate, he walked over to one of the poolside lounge chairs and set his phone and wallet on it before unashamedly starting to strip down to his boxers. Just as he tossed his shirt on the chair and moved to begin unbuttoning his pants, he heard the pool gate creak open again and was already smiling at what was about to come.

“Are you insane?” Y/N’s voice hissed as she followed after him scowling. “Harry, you’re going to get us in so much trouble.”

“Can’t get in trouble if we don’t get caught,” he shrugged as he stepped out of his pants and set them on the chair too. Goosebumps raised on his torso as the cold night air came in contact with his newly exposed skin, but he ignored it as he turned around to face Y/N again. He could tell she was cold by the way she had her arms tightly wrapped her body as a breeze wisped her hair around, and decided to use that factor to his advantage. “The pool is heated.”

“I know it’s heated, I work here too, you know.”

“I do,” he responded smugly and tilted his head to the side. “Well, are you coming in or are you too chicken?”

There was a glint in her eyes that he recognized to be the competitive streak in her coming out. He’s managed to see this side of her a handful of times while he was pressing her buttons at work and seeing her look back at him that way made him think that he may have her convinced, however, the glint faltered as she nervously looked around to see if anyone was nearby. “I don’t know H-.”

Harry could tell that deep down she wanted to join him, she really did. However, he also knew damn well that doing anything that could possibly jeopardize her job here cause Y/N a lot of anxiety. But maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to crack through that wall she keeps putting up that prevents her from doing something fun and reckless for once.

Slowly, Harry walked towards her with a mission. As soon as he was close enough to do so, he reached out and linked their hands together; giving that little bit of reassurance she wanted so badly.

“I’m not going to make you do it if you don’t want to love, but if for whatever reason something did happen, I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.” He paused and watched as her features slowly softened, her hand squeezing his a little tighter all at the same time. “Do you trust me?”

“You already know I do,” she whispered and earned herself a small smile from Harry as she let go of his hand and stepped towards the pool. This time it was Y/N’s turn to shamelessly strip down to her underwear with her back turned to Harry.

Harry was surprised by her sudden burst of confidence as she casually kicked her shoes off and pulled the dress she was wearing up over her head -- letting it fall to the ground in such a simple, yet unknowingly sexy way that had Harry growing more frustrated with each passing second.

Y/N kept her back to him, not wanting him to see just how badly she was blushing. Once she was left in only her mismatched grey/black cotton bra and undies, she stepped towards the edge of the pool and waited for Harry. She smiled to herself as soon as he was standing beside her again and pondered her movements for a minute before making the executive decision to try and push Harry into the pool.

However, her plan backfired, seeing as she did not account for just how buff Harry was and that the likelihood of him actually falling in was slim to none. To make matters worse, Y/N stumbled slightly when she tried pushing him to which Harry instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist so that she wouldn’t fall in instead. Once she was steady, Y/N finally looked up to Harry and internally groaned.

“You just tried to push me in!” He exclaimed dramatically.

“And stupid me thought it’d actually work,” Y/N grumbled as she tried to squirm out of Harry’s grasp. She almost broke free, but before she knew it, Harry was pulling her back against his chest and began tickling her at her sides. She burst into laughter as she began squirming even more and tried to push him away. “H-Harry, stop!”

“You’re wrong if you thought I was letting you get away with that. I’m hurt, Y/N.”

“You’ll get over it,” she replied in a huff as she continued trying to escape Harry’s hold. This continued for another minute as Harry slowly but surely moved them back towards the pool’s edge, and Y/N’s wriggling intensified. She knew what he was about to do and without thinking, blurted out the first thing that came to mind to prevent him from doing so. “No, don’t! I can’t swim!”

Harry’s movements halted as soon as those words left her mouth, leaving Y/N to cover her mouth to stifle another laugh. She hadn’t considered how ridiculous her statement was until after she said it, and couldn’t help but laugh at how far from the truth it actually was. Harry didn’t move his hands from her waist, and although she really didn’t want to turn to face him, she eventually did and prepared for his reaction.

He stayed silent for a split second before narrowing her eyes and tightening his grip on her waist. “You’re so full of shit.”

Before she could respond again, Harry was lifting her up and jumping into the pool with her in his hold; finally putting the entire argument to rest. As soon as she was surrounded by water, Y/N swam away from Harry and used her feet to push off the bottom of the pool so that she could get back up to the surface and catch her breath.

Harry resurfaced shortly after and they both broke into another laughing fit. The two of them stayed there, treading water for a few minutes before Harry decided to splash Y/N out of nowhere, causing her to gasp dramatically.

She splashed him back but gave up the fight when he returned the gesture with a much larger wave that crashed right into her face. “Ok, I guess I deserved that.”

“Damn right you did,” he replied sassily and treaded and little closer to her. They watched each other for a minute before Harry started lowering the bottom half of his head into the water, just enough that only his eyes were still above the water. Y/N watched him curiously and couldn't help but roll her eyes when he exhaled deeply out of his mouth so that a series of bubbles would rise to the surface and pop around him as he kept eye contact with Y/N.

“God, you are such a child!” She squealed and started swimming away from the shallow end of the pool.

“You love it,” he before shaking his wet, matted curls and swimming after her.

The next half an hour or so is spent with Y/N and Harry goofing off together, and really just having the time of their lives. They had a race to see who could swim from one end of the pool to the other and back the fastest, to which Harry won only by a little bit. However, he soon lost his title when Y/N challenged him to see who could remain in and underwater handstand the longest without falling over or having to swim up for air.

Neither of them had a care in the world, but that quickly changed when the sound of jingling keys and heavy footsteps could be heard in the distance but were undoubtedly getting closer to the pool area. Y/N froze in place, and her face went white, the previous panic she had before of getting caught returning and causing her to be on the verge of hyperventilation.

“Harry, what do we do?!” She asked in a hushed tone, knowing that if they were to just jump out of the pool and make a run for it, they would most definitely get caught. “Y-y-you said-.”

“I know Y/N,” Harry hissed as he stood up and looked towards the courtyard, only to see the beam of a flashlight coming their way. “Ok, ok, I need you to do as I say and not argue with me, alright?”

Y/N nodded frantically but kept her mouth shut as she let Harry gently push her against the side of the pool. His hands never left her body, and to be honest, it’d stress her out even more if he weren’t there. Harry was keeping her calm. She observed as he intently watched the direction the noises of the person approaching came from, not being able to keep her eyes from the way the elegant butterfly and sparrows tattooed on his stomach and chest moved with each breath. Part of her wanted to reach out and trach along with the ink, but she knew now wasn’t the time and kept her hands to herself while she waited for Harry to tell her what to do next.

“Ok, when I say, I want you to go under the water as quietly as you can and swim behind the waterfall. Stay low when you come back up, I don’t think security will see you that way.” His plan was simple enough and actually seemed as though it could work, so with a silent nod, Y/N got in position and waited for him to give her the ok to go. “Alright…. Now.”

Y/N did as Harry said and quietly went back under the water. She kicked off the wall and smoothly glided under the water and didn’t come back up until she reached the wall she knew was behind the waterfall and beneath where her lifeguard chair was resting up top. Once she came up for air, she pressed her back against the wall to remain unseen and waited patiently for Harry.

Before Y/N could really start getting worried, she was able to make out Harry’s figure swimming beneath the waterfall just as she watched a flashlight beam over the part of the pool that she and Harry had only been. She unknowingly pressed her back harder to the wall and held her breath, keeping her eyes closed as she waited for someone to demand that they come out from the waterfall.

A few agonizing moments go by as Y/N prepared for the worst, but the worst never happens. She peeked one eye open just as Harry disappeared under the water again and swam back out into the regular part of the pool. A portion of her wanted to wait for his confirmation, but when it took him a bit longer than she was expecting for him to come back, she knew the coast must’ve been clear; so she followed after him.

Sure enough, when she resurfaced again, there was no security standing at the edge of the pool, waiting to give them shit; but instead, it was just Harry standing with his back to her, with his muscles tense. Cautiously, she approached him.

“We should get going,” he finally spoke up when there was no longer too much of a space between them. He turned around to face Y/N, but couldn’t seem to actually look at her. “Tha’ was closer than I’d like it to be, and we may not have time before he’s back.”

“H-.”

“And you probably don’t want anything to do with me after putting you in a stressful situation like that, this is all my fault,” he continued to ramble as she kept approaching him.

“Harry…”

“God, I swear I didn’t think anyone would actually come by but-.” This time it was Y/N who cut Harry off as she made one final step towards him and placed a hand behind his neck. She pulled him towards her at the same time she stood up onto her tippy toes and waited for the sparks she knew would go off once their lips came in contact with one another.

To say it felt like magic would have been an understatement because how it felt for Y/N and Harry to be at that moment, after spending such a great night together was simply indescribable. They both really liked the feeling of being there, together, making out, even though it was in the pool they both were lifeguards for, and soon found themselves getting lost in the kiss.

Harry quickly pulled her closer to him, wanting to have as little space between them as possible as his hands tangled into her hair so that the kiss could deepen. Y/N reacted by moaning slightly into his mouth and parting her lips more so that she could allow him more access.

They continued making out as Harry placed his hands under Y/N’s thighs so that she could wrap her legs around his waist. They kept going at it when Y/N’s back gently collided with the pool wall again, and she placed her hands on either side of his face just so that she could keep him near. The only thing that was going to make them break away from one another was going to be the need for air, and even that took a few minutes to happen, but eventually, it did.

The two of them slowly pulled away from each other, lips swollen, and panting for air as Y/N glanced up at Harry and smiled lightly. “You were putting words into my mouth.”

“Clearly I need to do that more often,” he chuckled before leaning down and catching her lips in another quick, yet sweet, kiss. Once he was done, he leaned back away from her again, his thumbs twiddling with the material of her underwear as they made no indication of wanting to move from one another. Eventually, it was Harry that broke the silence again. “Think we should get out here?”

“Not the worst idea I don't think,” Y/N responded with a nod.

The two of them untangled themselves from one another and climbed out of the pool before gathering their things and heading back to the cabins.

Y/N stayed with Harry that night and into the early morning of the next day. She woke up tangled in his bedsheets alone but had no need to worry seeing as she could hear him humming along to a tune from the shower in the washroom nearby. A loud yawn left her mouth as she stretched and squinted at the bright sunlight streaming in through the windows and finally took in her surroundings.

Harry’s cabin was smaller than Y/N’s but was much more spacious because it was only him and Nick that stayed there. And luckily for Y/N, Nick was nowhere to be found. She did, however, have this nagging thought of how he could literally burst through the door and see her so obviously trying to keep her naked body covered beneath the sheets at any given moment. There was not a single part of her that wanted to deal with that, so she sat up in the bed and looked out the window for any sign of him coming before booking it into the washroom so that she could join Harry in the shower.

The two of them spent the entire day together. It was ridiculously convenient that Nick, Aimee, Dana, and Maya all had work today because they were able to postpone any of their friends bugging them. Seeing as Y/N only had the outfit she wore last night, she gave Harry her key so that he could run over to her empty cabin and grab some fresh clothes. Much to her dismay, he came back with only a pair of terrycloth shorts that belonged to Maya and some clean underwear (but no bra).

“Harry, do you expect me to walk around topless all day?” Y/N asked and quirked an eyebrow at him. It was evident that he didn’t intentionally forget to grab her a top by the way his eyes widened slightly at her question, but with Harry being Harry, he played it off with ease.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly be opposed to the idea…”

“Harry.”

“Kidding,” he groaned as he rolled off the bed again and made way to his dresser so that he could give her a shirt to wear. “But not really. Here.”

Y/N caught the shirt Harry tossed towards her with ease and quickly threw it on, knowing she’d gone without a top for long enough. After that, Harry climbed onto the bed again and stretched himself across the bed next to her. He was hesitant in doing so, but after getting stiff from leaning on his elbow for a few minutes, he laid down flat with his head resting softly on Y/N’s lap as she stayed sat up and leaned against the wall.

The two of them talked for hours on end, again. Not once getting bored of each other's company and loving hearing what they each had to say, Y/N started to think about how long it had been since she was this comfortable with someone. They talked about everything from their favorite foods, to their what genre of a story they liked best after Y/N had eyed up the stack of books that were on Harry’s bedside table. Harry started going off, and Y/N mindlessly pushed her hand through his curls as he reached over to grab one of them so that he could tell her some of his favorite lines in it.

As the late afternoon crept around, Harry proposed that they actually leave the cabin and go out to do something, to which Y/N agreed. So, they gathered up the laundry hamper they had tossed Harry’s dirty bedding into that morning and made way to the clubhouse to start washing them while they went off and did something else. As they made way to the laundry room, they had to come to a stop when someone started calling out after them. Sure enough, it was Aimee standing behind them with a bemused and knowing look. She didn’t give them a hard time though seeing as she was just finishing her break and needed to get back to work, but Y/N knew she would get an earful when she got home that night.

Once they loaded up one of the washing machines and convinced one of the older ladies working in the laundry room, folding up clean bedsheets for the guests, to put move their wash over to a dryer so that they wouldn’t have to come back as soon; they embarked on a little journey. After sending a quick text to Maya a quick text to make sure it was alright, Y/N led Harry to one of the many golf carts that weren’t being used to take on their own little excursion.

They drove around the resort’s perimeter, taking the whole place in as if they were the ones staying there rather than being employees. After they finished doing that, Y/N drove them back to the clubhouse and tried thinking of something else to do before Harry suggested they go on the hiking trails the resort had.

The two of them walked back down the path that led towards the cabins and took a different turn that led them down a winding trail and eventually to the base of a large hill. Other people were nearby putting the multiple trail options to good use, but Harry and Y/N couldn’t decide which one they wanted to go on. They settled on the longest trail, the one that took them up the hill to a supposed lookout spot that was there.

It took them roughly forty-five minutes to reach the top, mainly because Harry kept dramatically pausing, saying he needed a break although Y/N was totally aware of it being a facade so that she’d stay near him and not keep going too far ahead... but she didn’t mind as they continued going.

Once they reached the end of the path, Y/N didn’t know what she was expecting to see, but she definitely wasn’t prepared to have her breath taken away

The top of the hill was a large clearing with the most incredible view. There was no one else up there so she didn’t waste any time walking around the entire area so she could take it all in. When she looked down the hill to the east, she had an incredible aerial view of the whole resort. The massive golf course seemed to go on forever, disappearing in the distance behind some trees and smaller hills, and everything else seemed so much smaller. She could see the entirety of the clubhouse letting her eyes move to the pool and then over to the trails behind it as well as all the big fancy lodges the resort guests rented out during their stay. Her gaze fell on the row of cabins, watching as her co-workers walked home after their shifts had come to an end; even seeing who she thought was Dana trudging her way up the steps of their shared cabin, and Nick making his way towards his and Harry’s.

Y/N then moved to look to the west, and that was when her jaw dropped open in awe. In the distance, she could see the coastline. Where the greenery from the trees ended, the deep blue of the Pacific Ocean started and seemed to go on forever; causing her to become quickly enraptured by its beauty. So this was why Oceanside was a fitting name.

“S’pretty, innit?” Harry’s voice asked from behind her. When she didn’t respond, he moved towards her so that they were standing side by side. It wasn’t his first time seeing the view, which Y/N knew, but what she didn’t realize was how with the way the sun was just beginning to set, everything stood out. The pink and purple sky surrounding them and the way the breeze wisped her hair around made it seem as though she was the center of the most beautiful painting. Harry couldn’t take his eyes off of her, not that he’d want to anyway, and wanted to this exact image engraved into his memory forever. “Y/N?”

“Hmm?” She asked and glanced over at him briefly before looking back to the ocean. “The view? Yes, it’s incredible.”

“Not just the view,” Harry whispered to himself as he watched her. Silence fell over them for a few minutes after that, and neither made a move to change that. However, as the sun kept getting lower in the sky, Harry knew that this moment couldn’t last forever. “Think we should head back down there, it’s going to be dark soon.”

“Oh, yeah, not a bad idea. The laundry is probably done by now too.”

It didn’t take them as long to get down the hill as it was going up, so soon enough they were back at the clubhouse gathering Harry’s bedding and heading back to the cabins to call it a night.

On their way there, they heard laughter and chatter coming from people walking down a different path. Neither Harry or Y/N thought anything of it as they started down the trail towards the cabins until someone was calling after Y/N.

“Hey Y/N, wait up!”

Slowly, both Y/N and Harry turned around to see Tyler Huntington approaching them with one of his friends.

“Hi Tyler, how’s it going?” Y/N greeted as Harry remained silent; not noticing the way he glared at the other boy.

“Good,” Tyler responded. “Just finished up a round of golf. Didn’t see you at the pool today.”

“Yeah, Harry and I have this weekend off so you won’t see me around there tomorrow either.”

“I see,” he replied and moved his gaze to Harry, sending him somewhat of a dirty look. “Styles. Well anyways Y/N, seeing as you have the day off tomorrow, Chris here’s parents went to San Francisco for the weekend, so a bunch of us are going to party in his family’s lodge. You should come.”

His invitation surprised her a little bit because frankly not once had she given the impression that she wanted to hang out with Tyler or his obnoxious friends apart from being around them during her shift. There was a fine line between employee and guest’s relationships being professional, and she did not want to cross it, so she politely turned him down.

“Thank you for the offer, but no thanks. I’m actually so exhausted and am ready to call it a night.”

“I see,” Tyler responded disappointedly. “Maybe another time then?”

“Maybe,” Y/N responded with a small nod and looked up to Harry. “Well, I guess we’ll be going then, have a good night guys.”

“Night,” Tyler and Chris responded in unison.

Y/N and Harry turned and started walking towards the cabin’s again, and Tyler watched with gritted teeth as Harry wrapped an arm around Y/N’s waist and pulled her close. Feeling the jealousy within him reach an all-time high as she leaned into Harry’s touch as they continued walking and eventually disappeared out of sight.

The next couple of weeks or so went on like usual. Y/N and Harry spent most of it together at work as usual but also spent a lot of evenings together as well. While at work together, the two of them would go on as they usually would -- teasing each other and making snarky comments, but this time around, there was a lot more subtle flirting. They always kept it professional around guests, but when they had any time that was just the two of them, they were all over each other.

One evening, after Y/N and Harry finished their shift together, they helped the kitchen staff set up tables in the dining room for a fancy gala dinner that was being put on for the resort guests. They stuck out like sore thumbs working alongside the servers who were dressed in their fancy uniforms in preparation for the dinner, to which their co-workers teased them about, but expressed appreciation for the help nonetheless.

Once they were done helping wherever they could, Dana told them her, and the rest of the team should be alright and that Y/N and Harry should get out of there before the guests started showing up. As they were headed towards the lobby, Harry snuck up behind Y/N and covered his hand over her mouth so that no one would hear her. A muffled yelp left her mouth as Harry pulled her behind one of the large planters and pillar so that he could gently push her up against the wall; a seductive grin tugging at his lips as he did so.

“Been waiting to have you to myself all day,” Harry said as he moved his hand from her mouth and replaced it with his lips. Y/N moaned against his mouth and responded by pulling him even closer than he already was so that the kiss would deepen. They stood there making out for at least a solid two minutes before footsteps and voices could be heard coming towards them.

Y/N and Harry quickly broke away from each other and tried to straighten out their appearances before stepping out from behind the pillar, coming face to face with the Huntington family. Both Mr. and Mrs. Huntington greeted the pair happily while Tyler stayed quiet; silently fuming as he took in Y/N’s swollen lips and Harry’s disheveled curls.

“Aren’t you kids done for the day? Get out of here already,” Mr. Huntington teased as he patted Harry on the back.

“We are,” Harry told him. “Just thought we’d help with setting everything up for you guys. It looks great in there, I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun.”

“Anyways we should get going,” Y/N spoke up with a smile and looked to each member of the family, pausing when she locked eye contact with Mrs. Huntington. “They’ve got your favorite wine in there Carol, it should be a good night.”

“Oh, wonderful!” The older woman exclaimed and clapped her hands together, earning a groan from her husband. “You two have a good night as well, don’t get into too much trouble.”

“We won’t,” Y/N and Harry answered together before nodding goodbye and walking away from them. Both Mr. and Mrs. Huntington smiled and watched them go for a second before continuing on down the hallway, but Tyler stood there watching, no glaring at the two of them until they disappeared around the corner.

A few days later, when Y/N was in Harry’s cabin watching a movie with him and Nick, her phone buzzed with a new notification. She reached over to grab her phone, Harry shifting so that she’d have easier access to his bedside table, but not moving his arm from where it was wrapped lazily around her waist. As soon as she had the device, Y/N returned to her spot, nestled up against Harry and turned the screen on only to see she had an email from Mr. Slack. Assuming it was necessary, she unlocked her phone and opened the email; her eyebrows furrowing as she read through it.

“Everything alright?” Harry asked after a moment of seeing her just stare at the phone screen.

“Yeah, I guess,” she started. “It’s just that Mr. Slack changed my work schedule completely.”

“For next week?” Nick questioned and sat up, curiously from his bed across the room.

“No… for the rest of the summer.”

This caught Harry’s attention as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as well. “Mind if I see?”

“Not at all,” Y/N responded and handed him the phone.

Harry took the device and scrolled through the entire email, noting the changes in her schedule. “Our shifts are completely opposite now.”

“Really? All of them?”

“Yeah, all of them,” he replied and handed the phone back. “We don’t have any more days off together.”

“So they’re splitting us up and pairing us with different lifeguards for the next three weeks?” Y/N questioned, and Harry nodded. “Why now all of a sudden?”

“Whack caught on to you two messing around with each other, huh?” Nick asked and wriggled his eyebrows.

“I don’t think it was him actually,” Harry shrugged in response. “Think it was the Huntington kid.”

“Tyler?” Y/N asked and leaned onto her elbow so she could get a better look at Harry as he nodded. “What makes you think that?”

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed how pissed he gets whenever he sees us together. He’s jealous Y/N. Probably pulled some strings with management so that he could attempt to move in on you before the end of summer.”

His tone became rather hostile, and Y/N quickly decided that she did not like it one bit and started moving away from him. “I have noticed actually, but it’s wrong to assume someone could be so malicious. We can’t prove that he actually did do that, maybe Slack just wanted to switch up the lifeguard rotation.”

“Three weeks before the summer ends? Y/N, do you hear yourself right now? All the hints and clues of Tyler wanting to mess with us are right in front of you, but you’re too damn gullible and naive to open your eyes and see!”

Harry’s outburst surprised Y/N, and she made no effort to hide it. “That was uncalled for, Harry.”

“But true,” he finished and looked away, not noticing the hurt that flashed through her eyes.

The next thing Y/N knew, she was scrambling to get out of Harry’s grasp to get as far away from him as she possibly could. “You know what? I’m just gonna go.”

“What, no, Y/N, I didn’t mean that rudely,” Harry pleaded as he stood up too, realizing that he’d really upset her.

“How did you mean to say that I’m too gullible and naive for my own good in a nice way, Harry?” She snapped and brought her hand up to her chest when she saw him reaching out for it. “I’m sorry that I tend to see the good in people and not make rash assumptions about them just because I feel like it! You know, I thought you weren’t one to do that too actually, but I guess I was wrong.”

Harry couldn’t find it in himself to say anything else because just seeing how much his words had hurt her, crippled him. During one of their many talks, she told him how growing up she was told that her niceness would get her in trouble one day, that she was too accepting of everyone and it really rubbed her the wrong way. Y/N viewed her kindness towards others as a weakness because of that, and although it was one of her traits that Harry admired most, he still managed to make her feel bad about it. To make her feel weak.

Y/N gave him a second to respond, and although she was greatly disappointed when he didn’t, she just swallowed her pride and walked towards the door. Muttering a quick goodbye to Nick, she swung the screen door open and walked out, letting it slam shut as she rushed down the stairs and over to her cabin before the tears started streaming down her face.

There was an invisible weight resting on Harry’s chest as he watched her go, feeling absolutely terrible as Nick walked up beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You just royally fucked up my friend.”

A week went by, but Y/N and Harry had yet to speak to one another. She was upset, which he knew, but fucked, he missed her. He just wanted the chance to apologize, but even then, that opportunity never came because they never actually saw each other. The only time he’d get to see her was in passing when one of their shifts came to an end, and the other was there to take over.

On the nights he knew he didn’t work the next day, Harry would stay up late reading on his front porch, coming to a stop only when he’d hear someone dragging their feet on the gravel and watched as they trudged their way past his cabin on route to their own. One of those nights, over a week since he and Y/N, had last spoken outside of work, he heard two sets of footsteps walking down the path, so he set the book down to see if it was anyone he knew. As soon as he looked up, her gaze fell onto Y/N, but she wasn’t alone.

She had just finished the night shift at the pool and was yawning and rubbing at her eyes as she nodded to what Tyler was going on about besides her, clearly uninterested. When Y/N and Tyler reached the space between her and Harry’s cabins, she looked at Harry tiredly and sent him the smallest smile. Y/N then turned to Tyler and thanked him for walking her home and turned him down again for hanging out before saying goodbye and going up to her cabin stairs. Just as she reached the door, she paused and looked over to Harry, nodding towards him. “Night, Harry.”

And with that, she was gone.

The days after that, Harry observed how Tyler followed Y/N around like a lost puppy and started to become annoyed because he’d still not gotten the chance to apologize. One night, as they were going into the last week and a half of summer, Harry decided he was done sulking and knew that he needed to talk to Y/N because he’d gotten to the point where he just felt empty without her.

He first went over to her cabin to see if she was there. Knocking on the door, he felt his heart rate increase with each passing second until the door swung open to reveal Aimee.

“Get off my porch,” she spat. Harry took a deep breath, feeling even more nervous than before because if looks could kill, he’d be dead by now.

“I-is Y/N home?” He stammered and shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

She continued glaring at him, exhaling deeply through her nose to express just how much him being there made her fume. “You’re right fucked if you think I’m letting you talk to her after what you did.”

“Aimee I-.”

“You messed up Harry, massively.” Aimee finished for him. “Do you know how hard it is for that girl to open up? To feel such a significant bond with someone that she can genuinely be herself without fear of being judged for it. You somehow managed to crack through that wall. She let you in, and you threw it in her face. So, like I said before, get the fuck off my porch.”

“I know I messed up ok?” Harry argued before she could slam the door shut, his voice cracking slightly. “I know that I gained her trust, became someone she was comfortable with, and then fucked everything up. I know you think I’m a terrible human being because of what I said, and honestly, I can agree with you. What I said was uncalled for and completely unnecessary, and I know that I’d take it all back if I could. I was jealous, fuck, I was jealous of Tyler Huntington because he kept moving in on her and to be honest, I was afraid. Not because she ever seemed interested, but because I knew that he could give her the world if she let him and that I can’t. I’m a lifeguard for fuck's sake, not the son of some rich businessman. I don’t know where I’m going from here, or what LA will hold, but I’d really like for her to be there for it, and I hate myself for possibly messing that up.”

Once his rant came to an end, and he finally decided to look up again, he half expected for Aimee to just proceed with slamming the door in his face but was actually surprised to see that he’d gained an audience. Both Dana and Maya were now standing behind Aimee shaking their heads.

“God, boys, they really are stupid,” Maya groaned.

“Y/N doesn’t care about any of that you dingus,” Dana stated.

“Honestly though,” Aimee agreed, her features softening. “Glad you can see how good of thing you almost lost there, Harry, because as much as I want to say you don’t deserve to even associate with my best friend… You’re an alright dude. She’s on the night shift at the pool, you may be able to catch her before she finishes up and comes home for the night. Just don’t mess it up again.”

“I won’t, thank you,” Harry replied as he turned around and bolted down the stairs and started off in the direction of the pool. He checked the time on his phone and sped up a little more as he knew Y/N would be getting ready to leave soon.

Y/N finished gathering the last of the pool towels left by guests and put them in the hamper for housekeeping to deal with tomorrow. She hated the night shift. Although the pool closed at 10pm, she was alone from 8pm on, but the pool was always dead by then and the time would just drag. She knew her shift was almost over, so she wandered back to the lifeguard stand and grabbed her belongings so she could go punch out.

Before she could get too far though, the pool gate creaked open, and someone walked in. She turned around to tell the person that the pool had closed, but stopped herself when she saw Tyler standing there. “Oh, hey.”

“Hey,” he responded and walked towards her. “Was wondering if you wanted some company for the walk home again.”

“Thanks, that’s really sweet of you, but I’m meeting up with Nick so I’ll be fine,” she told him honestly.

“I see,” he replied and looked down to his feet. “Well, I know that you have the day off tomorrow. Maybe I want to do something… with me?”

Y/N could tell he was a little nervous asking her this, but there was something he said that she was not expecting to hear. “How did you know I had tomorrow off?”

“I uh, you told me, remember?” Tyler stammered, internally cursing himself.

“No, I didn’t,” Y/N trailed off. “So how did you actually know?”

“Ok, you caught me,” he tried to play it off. “I asked Mr. Slack to tell me because I really wanted to ask you out, seeing as you turned me down all summer.”

“I turned you down because I’m not interested, Tyler.”

As the conversation started going down, Harry was nearing the pool gate. He heard what Y/N had just said, but stopped so that he wouldn’t interfere.

Y/N watched Tyler, watched as his eyes snapped to hers once the words left her mouth, and saw them darken. Y/N held her ground, though. She didn’t falter or let him intimidate her regardless of how part of her wanted too because deep down, she already knew this was going to tie into what she and Harry had fought about.

“See that’s the thing I don’t get,” Tyler started, chuckling slightly. “Why wouldn’t you be interested? I’ve got money, looks, charm-.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” she cut him off, and Harry had to cover his mouth so that he didn’t laugh out loud.

“Right. Not like you’d notice it anyways with how busy you’ve been off fucking Styles every chance you got. Quite the slut move, Y/N.”

Harry was ready to throw hands at that point and was about to start going off, but Y/N beat him to it.

“You do not get to say that about me, or anyone for that matter,” she fumed. “And frankly, it is not your concern, or anyone else’s who I sleep with, so I’ll sum this up real quick. I like Harry, he is a kind and decent being, something you wouldn’t know, and is someone I will gladly admit to falling for and will continue falling for because he is actually worth my time.”

“Whatever-.”

“Oh, I’m not done yet. Harry is someone who holds more character in his pinky finger than you do in your entire body, and is also someone who would never, in a million years, pay money to try and interfere with someone’s life.” Tyler fell silent at that. “I know you paid Slack to change my work schedule around.”

“I, well, I-.”

“You aren’t worth it,” she finished and had no intention of speaking another word to him. Tyler stood there shocked as she brushed past him and started walking towards the gate.

“I can have you fired, you know?” He finally spoke up, noticing that Harry was standing nearby. “Both of you.”

“No, you can’t,” Y/N laughed, sending a quick glance to Harry before turning back around. “Slack already told me he wants both me and Harry to come back next summer with a pay raise. I think he was saying something about how he didn’t want to get rid of the guest's two favorite lifeguards, including your parents. So maybe I’ll see you next summer, Tyler, but for now, fuck you.”

The man was left speechless and couldn’t find any other words to say as he watched her walk out the gate and towards Harry.

Once the gate shut behind her, Y/N turned to face Harry and tried so hard to not just lunge herself towards him. “Did you hear that?”

“I did,” Harry said, and Y/N started stepping towards him.

“All of it?”

“Yes, all of it.”

“Ok, good,” she answered just as she reached him and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him in so she could crush her lips against his. The kiss was sweet but turned hungry as each of them realized how much they’d been craving to be near one another again. However, it didn’t last long until Y/N was pulling away to look back up at Harry. “I missed you, H.”

“God, and I missed you,” he replied, softly pecking her lips once again. “And I am so so sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry for being such a prick, and I don’t expect you to forgive me any time soon, but-.”

“I already have,” Y/N told him and moved to wrap her arms around his waist in a hug. “Besides, Nick told me how sulky you were because I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Of course he did,” Harry groaned and pulled away from the hug. He leaned down to kiss her once again before leaning his forehead against hers. “Let’s go home.”

Y/N’s last week at Oceanside was spent packing, working her final shifts, and saying goodbye to all the friends she had made throughout the summer. On her last day there, she gave her cabin one final look over to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything and let out a sad sigh. Dana and Maya had left the day before, so it was just her in Aimee left. Once she was sure she had everything, she went outside to where Aimee and Nick were waiting, and the three of them started walking towards the clubhouse.

“You know you’re both going to have to Facetime me at least once a week, right?” Nick asked as they walked around to where the different buses were waiting to drive them home.

“I’d expect nothing less,” Y/N answered and let out a heavy breath once they reached their destination.

The three of them pulled each other into a group hug and muttered their teary goodbye’s. Eventually, Nick had to pull away so that he could board his bus and made sure to wave like crazy as it began pulling away.

“I can’t believe you’re going to LA already, I feel like I just got you back,” Aimee started as she loaded her luggage onto the bottom of the bus.

“I know,” Y/N told her as she helped with the large suitcase. “The summer flew by. Sorry that I'm sending you on the bus back to San Jose alone.”

“I’ll be fine, you’ll just have to make it up to me with drinks when I come to visit. Which will be very soon might I add.”

They both chuckled before slowly frowning, tears stinging at their eyes. In a split second, they were engulfing each other into a tight hug and trying not to cry.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Aims.”

“I’m going to miss you more,” Aimee replied and pulled away to wipe at the tears streaming down her face. “I’m so proud of you Y/N. You’re going out there and doing whatever it is you want to do, and I got to see you grow as a person so much this summer. God, I feel like a proud mom.”

“It’s because of you, you know,” Y/N responded as she reached up to wipe away some of her friend's tears. “If it weren’t for you sassing me, I would have been a hermit all summer. You gave me that extra push I didn’t know I needed.”

“Well, in that case, then I’m happy that I did.”

Y/N pulled her best friend in for another hug, staying like that until the bus driver called out for final boarding. “I guess that’s your cue to leave.”

“I guess it is,” Aimee sniffled as she moved from Y/N’s embrace and started walking to the bus. “You better call me the minute you get to LA.”

“You know I will,” Y/N answered with a smile.

Once Aimee was sat on the bus, the doors closed and she waved at Y/N as it drove away. Y/N didn’t leave her spot nor stop waving until the bus disappeared over the hill, and she let out another sigh. She then turned around and was met by her special someone standing there looking back at her with his goofy grin.

“Ready?” Harry asked as he lifted his right arm so that he could rest it on Y/N’s shoulders as they walked towards his car, waiting in the parking lot.

“More than ready,” Y/N answered before moving away from him so that she could climb into the passenger side; her luggage already packed in the trunk thanks to Harry going out of his way to put it there as she said goodbye to Aimee.

“Perfect.”

With one final glance around at the resort that had been their home for the last two and a half months, Y/N and Harry began their long drive to Los Angeles and their future, together.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles preferences #1dff #harry styles x reader

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ppatpranss · 4 years

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GAYA SA PELIKULA EP. 02 Review: Let’s talk about that dinner scene.

“May nahanap ka na bang mauuwian?”

I always have this kind of fear over a series that I already liked in the first episode: a fear that the second one will not live up to it, and so will the rest. But Gaya Sa Pelikula on its second episode did not disappoint, and instead set a whole new pace that further strengthens the story it wants to tell. In this episode, you get easy banters, hilarious make-believe and intriguing fantasies, heartwarming softness, a piercing tension at every turn, that very subtle buildup of romance, and of course, that wonderful conversation on the dining table.

Early warning that I have been gushing about the dinner scene since last night, so it will take up a lot of space in this review/discussion.

[WATCH EPISODE 02 HERE]

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What sets Gaya apart

Every time I watch an episode of this show and would rewatch it, I am always overwhelmed with the amount of observations I am able to write down. There are a lot of elements that make this such a good watching experience, and all of those elements just naturally come together. By this, I mean that it does not rely solely on, say, just directing or writing or acting. All of these come together, and I appreciate that you can clearly see how well-thought out everything is.

Episode 02 is a lot more free-flowing and non-structured in my opinion. Transitions feel a lot smoother this time compared to the more scene-after-scene approach of the (no less incredible) pilot episode. Because of this, I actually feel like this point is the real beginning of the story – that this sets the tone for a lot of the future events that could possibly happen between Karl and Vlad, and the people in their lives.

Personally, this is what sets Gaya apart not just among the BL series, but also in Philippine TV in general. For the longest time, we got used to stagnant or repetitive conflicts. Sometimes all the drama are injected to overwhelm the audience. But this one takes its time well. This is a show that wants to bring its audience along its every journey.

Parallels, heartbreaks, buildups

The opening scene picks up where we left off, with Ate Judit now writing a check for Karl’s rent because Vlad will stay over. She reminds Karl that while she’s a cool sister, she won’t stand for her brother getting hurt again. With this, she specifically mentioned “a boy too sweet to swat a fly” who broke his brother’s heart before.

First of all, I’m getting a sudden whiplash whenever this is brought up because I know exactly who it is. Given the first encounter of Karl with Vlad, where he saw him drunkenly dancing to a song about intense heartbreak (again, stream tyl by kakie!), it must have been something truly painful. It doesn’t help as well that there is an obvious parallel going on here with the fact that the description also fits Karl. At one point, Vlad also tells him that he does not need to worry because he looks like someone who does not have a power to hurt him anyway. They are really setting us up as early as now for the heartache, no?

In the same way, I appreciate how this show inserts the sexual attraction also forming between the two of them. Sexual attraction is a part of romance. Gaya normalizes it and emphasizes that it is just natural. The couch scene was particularly genius because of the double meanings of Karl and Vlad’s exchange. But more than that, I like how it also unapologetically shows the physical component of that attraction by having Karl and Vlad sit close together. Vlad even has his arm around Karl. Even the fact that Karl stared at Vlad when he got out of the bathroom was a nice touch.

While the One More Chance dream fantasy was all sorts of hilarious and sexy, it is a testament to how Karl’s subconscious is already telling him something that he keeps on denying. I also like the nice touch there when Karl woke up, he was just disoriented that he had a dirty dream, but not disgusted by it (there are some series and dramas that do this). He is attracted to Vlad. However, for Karl to accept his feelings, it also means that he needs to accept his sexuality. A point which was discussed primarily in the scene before this – the conversation at the dining table.

The phenomenal dinner scene

I wish I am able to give justice to this scene through words, and I’ll try because we need to talk about it (or I need to talk about it). As a fan of films and TV series, I feel like conversations are the most difficult to bring to the surface. You need to keep the audience’s attention while also making sure that the depth is there. For me, what I always look for in conversation scenes are three things: (1) how normal these conversations would sound like as if you are overhearing them from the table next to you; (2) how a director captures the rawness of the exchange between the two actors; and (3) how natural would the delivery be of each line. I think the third point is very important. Some actors have this tendency to talk in a certain kind of perky tone that makes it sound superficial. Thank goodness, both Ian and Pao were really great in this scene.

Of course, the most well-known example for a good conversation scene is the entire Before trilogy – it remains the gold standard for exhibiting the power and the magic of conversations, of an entire film with just these two people talking and forming connections. While this dinner scene isn’t exactly a Before levels type of perfection, to me it was a perfect scene in the face of BL series and the Philippines TV landscape in general.

𝗚𝗮𝘆. 𝗕𝗮𝗸��𝗮. 𝗕𝗮𝘆𝗼𝘁. 𝗕𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁. 𝗜𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗲𝘂𝗽𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗺. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁.

One of the things best highlighted in this scene is when Karl did the gesture with his hand. That is unfortunately common in the Philippines, with people literally doing it to your face when they ask you. Or some of them done behind your back with matching giggling and knowing looks. I should know because I’ve seen it among my relatives when they try to refer to or describe a cousin or an uncle who is gay or might be gay. Karl was conditioned to think this way, and it’s no surprise that he would struggle to ask the question and get the word out. Meanwhile, Vlad is confident in his own skin. He doesn’t miss a beat and tries to get Karl to say the words in a way that both lectures him and encourages him.

This is what makes the scene purely amazing. It is confrontational, but it is not dramatic. It isn’t even preachy at all. It’s just a seemingly ordinary conversation between two people over a meal, trying to get to know and understand each other. You really got to hand it to Severo for constructing a dialogue this way because it also brings out both of Karl and Vlad’s current disposition. Moreover, this topic is a big deal and there are a lot of conversations that need to be had around it. But this scene easily summed it up around that one simple gesture. In less than a minute, it was able to tell you that being called gay, bakla, bayot, bading is not an insult. No grand monologue was needed.

Aside from that iconic exchange, I also loved the second part of it. It’s not going around much on Twitter so I can see some people reacting to the earlier exchange as if Karl was really just insulting Vlad. But the deal here is, Karl is also in the process of unlearning his bias and conditioning. He grew up in a household where his Dad would take digs against his gay uncle, Tito Santi. There’s even a hint of Tito Santi being physically hurt by his father if he’s “babakla-bakla” (basically another insulting way of saying lalambot-lambot). You can just imagine how difficult it must have been for him to grow up and feel like he needs to follow a certain path that his parents see for him.

Hence, when confronted by Vlad with the question, “Ikaw ba, bakla ka?” he was defensive. His tone shot up much higher than normal and was almost panicked. You can literally feel all of his guard come up. Vlad asked him why he was acting like he just accused him of a crime, and to his credit, Karl immediately apologized. But again, I just really understand Karl and I can’t wait for him to really see himself and get to know himself. There is so much about him that I am interested to learn and for him to learn as well about himself. I always see him as like a kid learning to take his first steps – he stumbles but tries to stand again even for just the sake of himself. His many mess-ups in life make his character compelling… and I guess this is just me on my #ProtectKarlAgenda.

Interestingly, as per Direk JP, above scene references an iconic scene from Jose Javier Reyes’ 1993 rom-com film MAY MINAMAHAL which, coincidentally, I just watched last month when I found its restored version on iWant. Amazing as well that the specific scene of them having a meal together was really my favourite from the film because it was a turning point for Carlitos (Aga Muhlach) and Monica (Aiko Melendez). It was when they finally start to get to know each other because for the longest time, they would just flirt in the cafeteria. It was a fitting reference because for Karl and Vlad, they are already starting to get to know each other by sharing even a small part of themselves. I also find it adorable watching Karl watch Vlad messily eat his food. I live for those small soft moments because it just seems so pure and innocent.

All in all, the dinner scene truly delivered. It was iconic and powerful. Major props to Gege and Direk JP, but also to both Ian and Pao. I loved how Pao was able to capture Karl’s reluctance and embarrassment, and Ian just exudes the confidence you need to see in Vlad. How can I describe this connection? Magnetic, I guess? They can easily throw these lines at each other, sustain the tension, and kind of just get lost in it. At every turn, Vlad has the power in this scene as he tries to pull Karl towards him, but also Karl stands on his own ground despite being unsure. I appreciate that about Karl – his life can be a mess, but he never really loses his sense of self and principles.

Finding a home

Aside from everything that happened in this episode, one of the things that I definitely loved is its subtle hint of these two people finding a home in each other. The most striking line for me, really, was when Karl asked Vlad, may nahanap ka na bang mauuwian? I like that this can translate to have you found a place to stay in? and have you found a place to go home to? The episode had such a great run in double meanings, and this one takes the cake more than anything. Karl was starting to feel guilty about kicking out Vlad, and it also happens that over his phone call with Tito Santi, he told him to always find a way to repay kindness with paying it forward to another person or to the community. Luckily, Vlad went back to his apartment to use the restroom.

When Vlad was about to leave, Karl called him back and asked, “Nag-dinner ka na ba?”

Vlad stayed for dinner.

When Vlad was done with dinner and was about to leave again, Karl stopped him and said, “Dito ka na lang matulog.”

Vlad stayed the night.

When Vlad was about to leave to come live with his ex-boyfriend after cooking breakfast as a thank-you, Karl offered him a place to stay, “Will you be my housemate?”

Vlad said yes and stayed.

Epilogue

In today’s epilogue, Karl is still seated on his side of the couch, but Vlad this time was standing at the back of the other side, leaning forward. A stuffed whale occupies the space beside Karl. Every now and then, the two of them would look at each other but it is Karl who would often glance back at Vlad – as to what his eyes are telling him, I don’t know. But if I am allowed to guess, perhaps he was trying to get him to sit beside him? Perhaps, as the closing note goes, there is always a space for Vlad there.

Comments; Ramblings

It’s only the second episode but Gaya is already sparking conversations and it does it in such an engaging way for its many fans. For me, this one really sets the foundation for what is yet to come for the story of Karl and Vlad. If anything, this episode emphasizes that struggle will always be a part of queer love, at least in our current socio-political climate. It isn’t just in regard to identity, but also with everything that comes with the acceptance of who you are by yourself and the Other.

For the pilot episode discussion, I talked about how there seems to be a running theme in this show about seeing – of looking at yourself, the other, or a beloved. This episode shows us Karl seeing Vlad; closely and slowly starting to unravel what it was about him that compels him. For Vlad’s part, I’m pretty sure he’s starting to see who Karl is, too. I feel like him feeling comfortable enough with the idea of staying in Karl’s place and actually living with him over the sem break is an indication of strangely feeling at ease (home?) with someone he just met.

The concept of persons as homes takes me back to a post from a Facebook page called Bibliophile, which was lifted from a poem written by Warsan Shire called ‘For Women Who Are Difficult to Love’: “You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that.” This episode made me think a lot about that. On one hand, it feels romantic and uplifting to know that you have someone you can call your home, someone you can always return to as Yiu-fai put it in HAPPY TOGETHER [1997]. On the other hand, it feels scary because people change and if today the door and the windows are open, it might not be the same the next day. But I suppose I can feel hopeful for both Karl and Vlad. Perhaps, the door to Karl’s apartment will always be open for Vlad and the space beside the couch will always be reserved for him.

Gaya Sa Pelikula airs new episodes every Friday 8PM (Manila time) on Globe Studios’ Youtube channel.

GAYA SA PELIKULA Ep 01 Review [x]

#gaya sa pelikula #like in the movies #pangpang #ian pangilinan #paolo pangilinan #pinoy bl #filipino web series #filipino bl #boys love #juan miguel severo #jp habac #gsp review #owned

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necroalx · 4 years

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My problem with P5R new ending (spoilers)

I’ve been asked in my curiouscat about why I have problems with P5R ending a bunch of times by now, and honestly, I can't really put it in a way that wouldn't sound personal since my dislike over the matter comes from a personal appreciation of how the themes were handled in both versions.

With that being said feel free to ignore my POV:

First I would like to mention the things I loved about P5R (with spoilers ahead):

-The gameplay improvements were just perfect.

-Akechi's character arc was top notch for me, exactly what I wanted from him and I feel very satisfied with his new interactions.

-Sumire characterization during the first 8 ranks of her confidant were pretty cool.

-The individualization of the thieves until December, I loved the showtime attacks If anything I would have wanted they added more of those between more of the thieves too.

-Maruki is an incredibly well written character and Daiki Itoh's direction for relatable antagonists shines through him, he was really what P5 needed, the timing of the new semester events may be debatable for me, but I loved everything about him.

-Also loved Jose even we didn't get that much of him.

-The final boss fight was amazing!

Anyway My problem with the P5R ending is (Also, obvious spoilers for P5 and P5R):

-Retroactively diminishes the meaning of the original ending:

P5 vanilla original ending was in a way, the ultimate message about changing the world in the most healthy way possible, seeing it as the way it should be FIRST.

There were theories about this being an altered reality, and this is proven right by the events of the last semester in P5R.Also, with the mere existence of the events of P5R new content, the original ending becomes now an inconclusive story. Which makes it ultimately a lessened ending, because "this isn't the way the story should end".

-The theme of rebellion against an unjust society gets pointlessly messy and lost in transition:

Yes, I get the subject of facing reality is a way more important topic and way more down to earth, the thieves disbanding the way they did and going their own separate ways is indeed thematically fitting and shows some growth coming from their experiences in the new semester. Still, the game being written by a different person, plus having a scenery of "kids dreaming about their perfect world given to them by a overprotective father figure" seems to in a way tarnish and overwrite their experiences gained through the whole story.

I understand this is not the message meant to be conveyed by this new ending. I know and for sure love that in Royal the thieves don't exist just for Joker's sake was their whole characters aren't defined just by his actions anymore. BUT with those things mentioned above, all these change feels like a "correction" made to express how "japanese societal expectations were ultimately right all along things are not always like how we want and you have to deal with that" instead of the original ending's more positive outlook towards the future, that's now seen as a naive handled view of how things should be, and ultimately as I mentioned before, inconclusive.

Things are clear in that regard for me, (In the original, without Maruki's existence in the plot, the thieves were granted a world were they could do "whatever they wanted", between the limits of their own cognitive knowledge of how the world worked, after defeating Yaldabaoth and getting the holy grail treasure to basically "grant them that wish" as a reward after the fusion between mementos and the real world is finished. In P5R new ending, the change is made evident by having Morgana not steal the plug from the man in black chasing the thieves Van and the thieves not taking Joker home in the new ending to give the "more realistic" approach to that matter.)

This conclusion couldn't exist until P5R came out. Since now the entirety of the new Semester concept lies on the basis that the Phantom Thieves subconsciously granted Maruki his power and caused the whole "actualization event" through wishing someone could make those ideal realities for them, with Maruki being the only one capable of seeing the world the way they would've wanted to be because of their interactions with him. I actually give them credit for this since this is a brilliant detail and makes his tragic antagonistic role even more appealing.

But that leads me to my real and biggest problem with P5R new ending:

-The phantom thieves becoming secondary characters after being the main characters and vehicles to the story in the original game and through the 80% of P5R's story.Now people would call Kasumi waifu bait and other things, hell, even I memed about it before, the reality is, she's the most important tool Itoh and the new writers used to built this new ending, she is the most important character (besides Maruki himself obviously) to make the player empathize with Maruki's motives and actions, she is a victim of her circumstances just like the rest and she's "rescued" by this overprotective father figure character found in Maruki, but he was taking away her freedom as a consequence, thus making her relevant to the game's theme of rebellion. But then she faces that reality and she has to grow out of it by... "insert Itoh favorite writing trope of the protagonist beating the crap out of the heroine to make her come back to her senses" (Same thing he did with Marie in golden). Which is ok I guess, it can be a forgivable writing sin since the built to this was pretty well done. But then... there's nothing.Kasumi is presented and forced into scenes and moments so the player realizes "this character is important, more important than the rest" from very early on, it goes from scene to scene while the original events of the vanilla game still happen, and she was not the only one of coruse, Joker Akechi and Kasumi having their little arcs separated from the rest of the cast was obviously building towards something. But then going against everything Joker did in the original game, (and through 80% of P5R since those events are still in the game obviously) he chose both Kasumi and Akechi (twice in his case) over his other friends. Yes, the thieves were trapped on their fake realities, yes they came to the rescue in the end FOR Joker. But at this point they were: Not fully aware of who Kasumi really was and her involvement with these developments, not aware of the alliance between Joker and Crow, not aware of the weird palace that's been there the whole time. ALL because Joker and Mona kept these things secret from the rest, why? What's the sound logic behind this? Why would Joker not trust his friends with such important information after all they went through? Why are they reduced to convenient sidekicks after they saved his life and proved themselves capable of doing the impossible when they all decided to work together? Why? It makes no sense. They all have been through so much with him, just days before they all were inside the velvet room alongside Joker, finding out about his most intimate aspect and sharing an irreplaceable moment of realization and conviction of together. Just for them to become anticlimactically trapped on their dream worlds and completely forgetting about Joker and their true bond with him. Sure they come back to their senses AFTER Joker triggers their true memories with some words, but this SHOULDN'T have happened after all they went through after their fight with Yaldabaoth. Call it bad timing in the writing sense, but it was a testament of how separated they become from their original role in the new story, all for the sake of these new additions. And still, we can ignore that, I can see over that and say "well it's the ultimate tentation they were never tested through", but here's were the problem lies, besides the fact of Joker never telling his friends about the things I mentioned before, he is now a fully self insert character, when 80% of the original story (which is just the vanilla game honestly) he was written as Joker being his own entity, with his own sense of justice very clearly defined and a focus towards his friends as his most precious part of his life. This is suddenly thrown to the garbage in the new semester.

Why? Because now the player has to make a choice that the original Joker wouldn't make in the original, chose Akechi over the other phantom thieves. It honestly feels like a huge regression.Don't get me wrong, I appreciate Akechi's new confidant and his amazing dynamic with Joker being exploited the best way possible. I do, I am a fan of Akechi's character archetype and his characterization in both vanilla and his new scenes in royal. I am a sucker for antagonistic villainous characters getting a proper redemption arc in convincing ways. But the price was too high for my liking.

By the price I mean; You literally CAN'T get the new TRUE (complete) ending without choosing to keep your promise with Akechi, which means, you can't see the full extent of the story conclusion, Maruki's and Kasumi's arcs won't get any closure and you will only get a now "diminished" ending (the vanilla original ending), if you don't chose to keep your promise with Akechi. A "personal" promise and one you never told your friends about. The worst part of this decision is, the whole reason Joker and Akechi's dynamic works so well is because they were originally written as pretty oposite characters with their own unique distinguished quirks morals AND sense of justice. But then, suddenly, at the climax of the story, Joker is just a self insert blank state? That just does not work.

As for Sumire, once she's brought back and awakens again, her character arc ends, she becomes just another sidekick like the rest of the thieves, which makes all the built her character was used for... what? It's not really pointless, since it brings the story to this point, but what's left for her? What's her role now? She goes back to being Kasumi in the metaverse and the optional aspect of her confidant makes this transition to her going back to being Sumire feel kind of ambiguous and also inconclusive. Yes I know she is honoring the memory of her sister and that she has accepted her reality, that's true, but the development comes to a sudden turn when she suddenly becomes just another one in the crew behind Goro and Joker. All the phantom thieves had their roles cleared out beforehand soon after their insertion arcs were finished, Ann was the conscience of the team, always asking "are we doing the right thing?" Yusuke was the same, always second guessing every choice with a worst case scenario since as he said in his awakening "in order to see true authenticity, one has to be dispassionately realistic", Ryuji was always the one going for it and wanting things getting done he's the focus, Makoto is the advisor, so she became the clear headed tactician, Futaba was the tool device, she became the medium to the ends always finding ways to work around towards their goals, Mona is the heart and the hope representing their wish to inspire society through their actions, Haru was the kindness, a reminder of what are they trying to inspire and a source of tolerance the thieves were missing until she joined in. Sumire was... what? This honestly bothered me, made me feel the whole journey was just a bad joke, because now not only the phantom thieves were reduced to mere sidekicks, so was the one character with most promise in the story while Goro became the player's beating husband through Joker, a testament of the choice he made of choosing the image they made the player have of Akechi, the one person Joker couldn't save, the one who's beyond saving at thins point over the friends and family he did saved. By the way, as contradictory as it may sound, I loved the twist, having Akechi's life depending on the final choice for true freedom, it was clever, it added the right heart wrenching moment right before the climax, what I didn't like was how clear it was made at this point how little the other thieves mattered. Why? Have the phantom thieves ever sent a calling card without having giving their full agreement? Especially when a new important development could come up from their actions at the last moment? Not until this point, Goro's life was on the line here, he was an ally now, he was a phantom thief member, they all agreed to this. But were they informed of this last minute development by Joker, you know, so they could all agree to what was the right thing to do like they all had swear to do every time? No, because Joker made that decision himself, because all that mattered was the player decision the self insert decision. Hell not even a cheap text group chat scene, nothing.You can say "this is a personal thing between Joker and Goro and a personal choice for Akechi". Well sure, yet they were all about to put their lives at risk for this, like they've been doing this whole time. They would've argued they deserved to know this, even if they had reached the same conclusion at the end, but with this, in a story that focuses so much on details, whatever oath the phantom thieves had before this, became meaningless. The player can once again just like with Yaldabaoth chose to ruin everyone's chance for true freedom by choosing a selfish self inserted reasoning out of the blue to get a "bad end". Honestly, I also felt the original bad end in vanilla P5 was bad but this? This was worst, this took things to another level, sure the angst was well written and the suffering masked behind this fake happiness was very clever, but its also so cheapened because at this point, why would the player care about those other characters if you make this choice? They were sidelined so bad that their "happiness" becomes just flavor to the story and to be honest, the good decision was just as selfish because of this. I have no problems with the final boss fight, it was honestly amazing and almost made me forget all that happened before when I first played it because it was just so over the top and emotional, I honestly loved it. But then comes the final cut-scenes. Skip Joker going back to prison (why even bother with that though? He literally went just for 10 days and every value of the sacrifice he made in the original was now lost because of the new semester events), skip the the decisions the thieves made about their futures, their display of individuality was great but they don't matter at this point anyway. And here's the final insult, yes I am salty because the "main party" didn't take Joker home, but not because they didn't go through the action of taking him home, but because they weren't really doing anything relevant if anything at all after being the main characters the whole game (except for the new semester) No closure for them just quirkiness and flavor for the sake of a "reality" based message, felt cheap and dismissive, like someone not wanting to go through the trouble of writing something for characters they didn't create or even like. Why did I called the P5R ending lazy you ask? Because they didn't bother making an ending at all, but just to rewrite the original in a way the message of "reality" is settled over, sure their individuality is highlighted by not taking joker home and them being focused on their own different things on their lives, but so they were in the original, this ending and them being sent away was made at the price of the relevance of the thieves bonds with Joker once again, I would've been ok if we at least got to see more of THEM as individuals through the ending or even just as a group, hell this was the final time we'll see them and they were our most precious allies, maybe give us some time with them for the sake of the experiences we had, they did that with Golden's epilogue after all, why not here? But instead, we just see them just go around town being quirky and sneaky distracting the corrupt policemen while Joker gets his new cut-scenes goodbyes with the new characters in the game, because they deserve closure as well for sure, yet they do so over the others? In my opinion, at this point, no. But they did just that, they declared with this change that, the phantom thieves members weren't needed and their futures and story were irrelevant, it was all about Joker, Goro, Maruki and Kasumire, the rest were just sidekicks and these scenes were more important so the player can get what happens to these new favorites, all at the price of the original team relevance. That, was my problem with the new ending. Of course I'm happy to know about their futures and choices through the credits, but that's just lazy, they were more relevant than that in the original, but now they're just afterthoughts shown through credit scenes. No relevance whatsoever in their final moments in this story. It certainly hurt seeing them being this diminished after the original made me care about these characters so much.You can say to me "well, there's still the vanilla ending for you" but no, I said it before, retroactively that ending has become irrelevant and inconclusive, which means this is now how the phantom thieves are represented as, Joker's sidekicks, not a team of bandits and misfits working together as a unit like it was in the original. Again, this is my very personal take on the game new ending, feel free to disagree and call me a clown, but the original made a huge impact on me, the events of P5R ending wounded my appreciation for this story, not it's characters, not the theme, just the future they'll write for these characters from now on. That is all.

Sorry about this Essay lol, but this is the only way I could fully communicate everything It made me feel wrong about this new ending. It was not just a matter of preference for me.

#persona 5 #p5r spoilers #Persona 5 Royal #my take

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vgckwb · 3 years

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P5R: Rebel Girl (A FeMC Story/P5R Rework) Chapter 39: True Platonic Love

The next day after school, Ren received a message from Jose.

Jose: Hey, do you think you can stop a Kosei today?

Jose: I have a favor I’d like to ask of you.

Ren: Sure. I’ll be on my way.

Jose: Thanks.

Ren left school to head to Kosei. She met up with Jose outside of the gate. “Hey there,” he said.

“What’s up?” Ren asked.

Jose turned towards two Kosei students. “See those two over there?” Ren looked over and nodded. “I overheard them saying that they were going to go out on a date.” Jose grew determined. “I wish to follow them.”

Ren was shocked. “Woah! Slow down Jose.”

“Huh? Is something the matter?” Jose asked.

“Well… Kind of” Ren said. “It’s kind of weird to just follow people, you know?”

Jose looked up at her. “But you said it yourself, we don’t just accept society’s rules as Phantom Thieves.”

“I..did say that, yes…” Ren said, exhausted already. “But that’s more to do with the expectations society puts on people. This is...more of a moral thing.”

“How so?” Jose said.

“Well, how do I put this?” Ren thought. “If we were to follow them, and get caught, that would make them feel uncomfortable. Like their privacy was being violated.”

“Huh” Jose said. “Is that bad?”

“Well, yeah,” Ren explained. “Everyone should feel comfortable to do what they want in private, so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. If they’re going out on a date, we shouldn’t intrude.”

“Hmmmm” Jose pondered.

Ren smiled. “C’mon. Why don’t we go somewhere and talk more about this?”

Jose’s face lit up. “OK. Sounds like a plan.”

“Why don’t we go to that diner we went to the day after we met?” Ren asked.

“Great!” Jose said. They walked off and headed to the diner.

Once they got their orders, Jose began drinking his drink. Ren asked “So, why were you wanting to follow that couple on a date?”

Jose looked at her and stopped drinking. “Well, it’s just… In class today, our instructor asked us to put love into our arrangements. I tried, but I couldn’t get over that. I’m not sure what ‘love’ is, so how can I put it in?”

“How did it go?” Ren asked.

“Well, my teacher thought I did splendid,” Jose answered, “but I still don’t know what I did, or how I can improve it.”

“I see,” Ren said.

“Then, I overheard that couple saying they were going out on a date, and I thought ‘maybe if I could observe them, I might figure out love’” Jose continued.

“Well, I can see your logic,” Ren began, “but there are more ways to learn about love. And most don’t involve stalking people. There are books, movies…”

“Yeah, but those are fictional” Jose lamented. “I want to try and get to know the REAL thing.”

“I see…” Ren said, thrown through a loop. She thought. “Hmmm. Well, even if they’re fictional, they still come from humans, correct?”

“Yeah,” Jose said, surprised.

“So, even if it’s not accurate, it’s still a nice glimpse into understanding love” Ren continued.

“I see,” Jose said, enamored.

“Plus, there are other forms of love,” Ren added. “Not just romantic love, but platonic, or familial love. As well as a love for what you do.”

“Hmmmmm” Jose went deep into thought. “This is complicated.”

“I’ll say,” Ren said. “I’m getting flustered trying to explain it.”

Jose looked around. “You know, when we first met here, there was a lot of stuff going on. Sumire and I had both awoken to our Personas, and you were explaining everything about what was happening. The day before… You helped me when those shadows attacked me. Is that a form of love?”

“Well… Kind of?” Ren said. “It’s an act of kindness, which does play into love. It’s hard. We didn’t really know you all too well then, but helping you out was the right thing to do, you know.”

“I see,” Jose said. “Did you do that expecting anything in return?” Ren shook her head. “So, even though you didn’t want anything in return, you helped a total stranger?” Ren nodded. Jose thought some more. “Isn’t that a kind of love?”

Ren was bemused. “How do you figure?”

“Well, one of my instructors had said that if a project is difficult, it's worth doing if you believe in it” Jose explained. “And that that belief stems from love, because you love doing it, but you also love your audience enough to share the thing you love with them.

So, if you felt like having to protect me, despite not knowing me, then you must love something about that. You could have run away and let me fend for myself, but you didn’t. You also did something similar with Sumire. She was ready to give up, but you fought for her. And I know you’ve known her longer than me, but I’d like to believe that if I were in that instance, you would have done the same.”

Ren was stunned. She hadn’t thought about why she did those sorts of things. It usually just came naturally to her. Even though time and time again, the favor wasn’t returned. She placed her head in her hands. “I dunno. I never really thought I had a reason. But I guess you saying it out loud has made me think. Hmmm I guess I really do love humanity Although for a while now, that love hasn’t been reciprocated.”

“What do you mean?” Jose asked.

“Well, people tend not to like me very much,” Ren explained.

Jose looked quizzical. “I don’t think I’ve seen a person dislike you though.”

Ren giggled. “Well, before I moved here, my life was a living nightmare. I was ostracized at school. Home wasn’t much better. My parents were gone a lot, and when they were there, they didn’t know how to handle me for various reasons. Mostly because of fights in school. Still, I don’t think they hate me.” Ren sighed. “It’s just hard.”

Jose reached across the table to grasp her hand. Ren looked up. Jose gently smiled. “I don’t know everything about your past, but right now, the person I see in front of me, is a kind, gentle soul. Someone who will help others no matter what. You’re considerate, understanding, and all around wonderful. You’re the kind of human I want to be like.”

Ren was in awe at Jose’s remarks. She was frozen for a few seconds. She then smiled as a tear rolled down her face. “Are you OK?” Jose asked.

“Yeah” she said, wiping her tears. She giggled. Jose was confused. “You know, for someone who says they don’t know anything about love, you sure know how to display it.” Jose seemed confused. “You saw I was feeling down, and you took steps to help me. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

Jose was amazed. “I see…” He smiled. “It’s peculiar. I can’t entirely describe my feelings, but I can feel them.”

“You might be more human than you think,” Ren said.

“Maybe” Jose said. “But I wouldn’t have thought about that without talking to you.”

“Well, that’s a part of being human too,” Ren explained. “You can only get so far by yourself. Having someone else to help you makes things easier.”

“I see…” Jose said. “Being human has a lot of facets to it. But I feel like I understand them better.”

Aeon-Jose: Rank 2

They finish eating, pay their bill, and head out. As they headed out, Jose turned to notice something. “What is it?” Ren asked.

Jose kept looking. “That couple…” Ren looked at where Jose was looking. “I think they’re the same one I wanted to follow.”

Ren looked at them. They weren’t wearing the Kosei uniforms, and instead opted to wear clothing that concealed their identity. “Really? I guess they look kind of similar. You’d probably know better than me, because you go to Kosei.”

Jose thought about this. “I wonder why they’re dressed like that. I might want to look into that.”

“Well, if you’re gonna, play it safe” Ren reminded him. “We don’t want you in trouble now.”

“Right,” Jose said. After they left, they split off to their destinations for the evening.

The next day, Ann turned to Ren once class was over. “Hey, can we talk?”

“Of course” Ren answered.

Ann looked around. “Not here. Oooo, wanna go shopping?”

Ren smiled. “Sure. Sumire told me you’re fun to shop with.”

Ann giggled. “Well then, let’s go!” They decided to hit up some of Ann’s favorite places to shop.

Ren found a black dress and picked it up. “Hey Ann, don’t you think this would look cute on me?” Ann looked up. Once she saw the dress, she gained a thousand-yard stare. “Oh…” Ren said. “I guess I’m not as fashionable as I thought.”

“Huh?” Ann said, snapping back into reality. “No, the dress is cute, and it would look great on you… It’s just…” Ren was confused. Ann sighed. “Well, ugh, this is sort of what I wanted to talk about. See, when that dress was about to be premiered, our modeling agency was called. Several other models and I were asked to, well, model it. But when the dress premiered, I was the only model whose photos they didn’t use.”

“I see,” Ren said.

“To be honest, that happens a lot,” Ann said. “I mean, I guess my heart isn’t always in modeling, but it still hurts to get rejected like that, you know?” Ren set the dress down, and walked over to Ann to give her a hug. Ann hugged back. “Thanks.”

Once the hug was over, Ren asked “Um, pardon me for asking, but do you think they sensed that?”

“What do you mean?” Ann said.

“Well, you said that your heart wasn’t in it when it came to modeling” Ren explained. “Do you think maybe the people working with you could tell your heart wasn’t in it, and that’s why they didn’t use your takes?”

Ann was stunned. “Huh. I hadn’t thought of that. To be honest, modeling always seemed a bit fake. Fake people, doctored images. I felt like I never really fit it. It’s weird. I don’t fit into the modeling world because of my heart, and I don’t fit into school because of my looks.”

Ren frowned slightly. “I never really fit in at school much either.” Ann looked at her. “Even before people figured out I liked women, I was always getting into scuffles because someone was doing something to someone and I felt like I needed to put a stop to it. I’d win a lot of those fights, but that led to people saying I wasn’t very ‘lady-like’. And that kind of upset me because being a ‘lady’ is part of who I am as a person. And then everything turned up to eleven when people figured out I was a lesbian.”

Ann looked determined. She went up and gave Ren a hug. Ren hugged back. “Thanks,” she said.

“What are friends for?” Ann replied. They let go of each other. “You know, thinking about it now, we fit in with each other. I guess we really found a place to belong.”

Ren nodded. “I guess we just had to make it ourselves.”

“‘Make it ourselves’...” Ann repeated. “Hmmm.”

“What’s on your mind?” Ren asked.

“I just had a thought,” Ann explained. “Remember when I said I had to change how people see me?” Ren nodded. “Well, maybe that will work in modeling as well.”

Ren was shocked. “You want to continue modeling?”

“Well…” Ann said. “I’m not 100% sure. I still need to think about it. But even now, I’m getting more and more ideas. Like, you know how you see models all over the place, right? Well, what if I could be a model that could be real, instead of some of the fake models you see? I could be the light people can see.”

“That sounds great,” Ren said. “And it really suits you.” Ann looked at her a bit puzzled. “I mean, you don’t have to be a model if you don’t want to be. But you being a light for others feels right. After all, you’re the one that saved me from Kamoshida.”

Ann was surprised. She giggled. “We saved each other. And besides, you have your good points too. I don’t know if being a model is the right fit for either of us in this moment, but I do feel like being a light for others is certainly a strong point we both share.”

“These things do take time,” Ren reminded her.

“Yeah, but ever since meeting you, I feel like things have accelerated” Ann said.

“Right?” Ren said. “I feel it’s easier to figure things out when there’s someone in your corner.”

“Totally!” Ann said. Ann calmed down a bit. “Thank you. For everything.

Lovers-Ann Takamaki: Rank 4

“Well, shall we continue shopping?” Ann asked. “I feel more motivated than ever!”

“Of course!” Ren said.

They were about to continue on when Ann asked “You’re not gonna buy that dress?”

Ren shook her head. “I only buy clothes that respect my friends.”

Ann launched into a giggle fit. “You can be such a dork sometimes.” Ren joined in the giggling. They continued their shopping venture.

Ren found a hoodie. “What do you think of this?”

Ann looked at it. “Woah! I remember this shoot as well.” Ren was about to put it back. “No, wait! It was a good shoot. I still have some of the pics from it.” Ann showed her the pictures. “I was REALLY in it for this shoot.”

Ren could hardly contain her smile. The pictures Ann showed off were amazing. “Sumire’s right, you are really fun to shop with.” She ended up buying it right away and wore it for the rest of their shopping trip. Once it was over, they headed their separate ways.

#persona 5 #persona fanfiction #persona 5 royal #p5r #p5 femc #p5r rework #p5 rework #p5 #FeMC #female ren #ren amamiya #jose #ann takamaki

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silenthillmutual · 4 years

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horror/thriller movie recommendations based on your fave Danganronpa 1/2 character

the series in general: Saw (2004, dir. James Wan) - i can’t give much of a reasoning for this as i haven’t seen it but the “punishment fits the victim” trope appears to be a thing in Saw?

Makoto Naegi: It (2017, dir. Andres Muschietti) - as much about the power of friendship as it is about a fear beyond all others. the premise is probably relatively well known by now for the fact that there’s a big clown in it. content warnings: clowns, unsanitary, implied incest and csa.

Sayaka Maizono: Psycho (1960, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - this suggestion is an incredibly cheap shot, please forgive me. famous film, not sure if i can talk too much about the plotline without giving away the most important part.

Mukuro Ikusaba: Us (2019, dir. Jordan Peele) - doppelgangers show up to wreak havoc on an american family. themes of identity theft. much bloodier than Get Out.

Leon Kuwata: Scream (1996, dir. Wes Craven) - admittedly haven’t seen this either yet. i know, i know, i’m a fake horror fan. but i know that it was made as a sort of tongue-in-cheek homage to the tropeyness of horror films, and i didn’t want to put any movie too blatantly humorous here. i thought this would fit Leon.

Chihiro Fujisaki: A Quiet Place (2018, dir. John Krasinski) - monsters that attack based on noise terrorize a family. most dialogue is delivered through sign language. also has a really touching family dynamic, especially between the father and his children.

Mondo Oowada: Pet Sematary (1989, dir. Mary Lambert) - haven’t seen this one either, whoops. all i know is it’s about, like, bringing people back from the dead or something, and that it’s based on a Stephen King book.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: The Stand (1994, dir. Mick Garris) - technically a miniseries, but i wasn’t really sure what other horror story fit him. it’s the world at the end in a final battle between good and evil, and nothing says Ultimate Moral Compass more than that to me.

Hifumi Yamada: Strangers on a Train (1951, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - the whole “i’ll do your murder if you do mine” kinda hits for chapter 3 i think. i also remember his hostage being his sister, so he’d probably like the relationship between Anne and Barbara.

Celes Ludenberg: Crimson Peak (2015, dir. Guillermo del Toro) - there’s a line the main character says that’s something to the effect of how she’d rather be like Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley because she died a widow? that’s Celescore. content warning: incest.

Sakura Oogami: Hereditary (2018, dir. Ari Aster) - both in the way that her dojo is a family business and in the themes of being afraid of hurting your loved ones. content warnings: child death, car accident, decapitation, possession, drug usage.

Toko Fukawa: Rebecca (1940, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - again haven’t watched or read the book on which it is based but the fact alone that it is based on a book? and it’s not directed by stanley kubrick’s book-ruining ass?

Byakuya Togami: Rope (1948, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - based on a play which itself was probably based loosely on the Leopold & Loeb case, it’s famous in part for its protagonists being gay. also they have superiority complexes and think that the privileged few should be allowed to murder inferior people because they’re above morality.

Yasuhiro Hagakure: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984, dir. Wes Craven) - i feel like this is closer to what his brand of horror would be, but also people not really believing that what’s happening is actually happening is kind of his m.o. too. content warning: i don’t remember if this is explicit in the original or not, but Freddy Krueger was a pedophile.

Aoi Asahina: Friday the 13th (1980, dir. Sean S. Cunningham) - again i just think this is closer to what Hina’s brand of horror would be, but also i feel like the summer camp aesthetic would be for her.

Kyouko Kirigiri: The Secret in Their Eyes (2009, dir. Juan Jose Campanella) - i don’t totally remember it but detective going off the rails trying to solve a rape & murder case. Very intense, but very good.

Junko Enoshima: Midsommar (2019, dir. Ari Aster) - gaslighting people into joining a death cult? yeah, that screams junko. content warnings: graphic suicide, drug usage, gaslighting, people on fire, nudity, sex.

Monokuma: Child’s Play (1988, dir. Tom Holland) - creepy toy carrying the soul of a murderer. still need to finish watching this one, other than “creepy doll” i don’t have anything to offer in the way of content warnings.

Hajime Hinata: Get Out (2017, dir. Jordan Peele) - reluctant to go too much into details because i wouldn’t want to spoil the film for those who haven’t seen it, but the experiment done on Hajime vibes w this movie. content warning in that this film is about racism.

Twogami: Vertigo (1958, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - too many details would give away spoilers but the identity theft theme of the film fits for a guy whose talent is in identity theft.

Teruteru Hanamura: Halloween (1978, dir. John Carpenter) - had a hard time thinking of a horror movie for Teruteru, but Halloween (and 80′s slashers in general) have a tendency to punish the horny.

Mahiru Koizumi: I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997, dir. Jim Gillespie) - would it be too much of a spoiler to say there’s similarities between this film & what gets Mahiru killed in-game?

Peko Pekoyama: The Purge (2013, dir. James DeMonaco) - people using masks to enact what they feel is justified revenge on the one day of the year when all crime is legal.

Hiyoko Saionji: The VVitch (2015, dir. Robert Eggers) - based on colonial-era folk tales about witches. very atmospheric, features the same kind of abusive slut-shaming verbal assaults Hiyoko hurls at others. content warning for briefly implied incest, some nudity, and parents being shitty.

Ibuki Mioda: Green Room (2015, dir. Jeremy Saulnier) - still need to see this one; punk band tries to survive to the end of the night after witnessing neo-nazis commit a murder.

Mikan Tsumiki: Carrie (1976, dir. Brian De Palma) - another film based on a stephen king novella, and also a pretty famous story. a longtime bullying & abuse victim starts to lose her shit after she begins developing telepathy. content warning for some nudity, fire, and an abusive mother.

Nekomaru Nidai: Les Yeux Sans Visage (1960, dir. Georges Franju) - wasn’t really sure where to go with him either, at first, and settled on body horror considering what happens to him later in-game. a doctor attempts to find a new face for his daughter after she is left disfigured from an accident.

Gundham Tanaka: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1921, dir. Robert Wiene) - a mad scientist claims his hypnotized ‘somnambulist’ can see into the future, including the deaths of carnival-goers. highly influential silent film, german expressionist so peak aesthetic.

Nagito Komaeda: The Silence of the Lambs (1991, dir. Jonathan Demme) - it’s probably well enough known for Hannibal the Cannibal being in it, but it’s worth noting he’s not the primary antagonist of the film. he is the most memorable part of it, and his psychoanalysis is what made me think of Komaeda. content warnings for gore, sexual harassment, referenced cannibalism, period-typical transphobia (period is the late 80s/early 90s).

Chiaki Nanami: V/H/S (2012, various directors) - a horror anthology film of found-footage type shorts, not shown in chronological order of events. i don’t really remember the contents enough for warnings, check at your own risk.

Akane Owari: The Blair Witch Project (1999, dirs. Eduardo Sanchez & Daniel Myrick) - don’t really have a good reason for this one other than “they all go feral, which Akane is seconds from doing at any given moment.” i think she’d dig it. no real content warnings to be had, the original found footage film.

Kazuichi Souda: Jaws (1975, dir. Stephen Spielberg) - i’m not even entirely sure i know what would make him like it, maybe just the mechanical shark? i think we all know this as the movie that made people double down on their hatred of sharks. i don’t particularly care for it, but it’s popular.

Sonia Nevermind: Perfume: Story of a Murderer (2006, dir. Tom Tykwer) - follows a would-be perfumer as he murders women in an attempt to create the perfect scent. in retrospect i probably should have picked something based on a real crime, but i still think she’d like this one.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: M (1931, dir. Fritz Lang) - when the police fail to catch a serial child murderer, the criminal underworld steps up to take action into their own hands. fitting, no?

Usami: Trick ‘r Treat (2007, dir. Michael Doughtery) - another sort of anthology film that follows what happens to townsfolk when they don’t abide by Halloween traditions. i put it for Usami because i thought it was actually kind of cute, as far as horror films go.

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kiliinstinct · 4 years

Text

Flame’s Desire: Ch 11

Rating: T Pairing: Nalu FF.Net || AO3

[Ch: 1] ||| [Prev] | [Next]

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---

Lucy saw the cove through the cracked stone window of her room. Grey skies, Roma and Romni she recognized bustling about one direction to the other and many others she had never seen before. Some didn’t hold the mark of the clan. Not in places she could see. The cove looked to reach around a wide stretch of a closed off bay, with salty ocean water moving along the tides and it’s scent struck her with every gust of wind. It was a beautiful sight, something new that she had never seen before. She wanted to see more, but the doors to her room had been locked tight, much like a prison. Scorch marks and ash residue stained the door served as a reminder of Natsu’s poor opinion to this change. She gave a tired grin at the sight of it. It helped to reassure her that, despite everything they learned over the last two days, he still believed in her, no matter what was said otherwise. Lucy remembered what lead to this point and the decision she made that sealed itl:

“Ya’ can’t just lock her up!” The day her fever broke had been a day full of shouting and bitter words. Lucy remembered waking to the sound of snarling as Natsu blocked the path to her cot. “So what if that Kagu - whatever his name is- said she’s dangerous! She hasn’t done a damn thing to us!”

“Natsu, there’s more to it than that,” Erza snapped from the doorway, her voice calm in comparison. It was steely and brook no grounds for argument. “We have to take into account what Laxus heard from Jose-”

Natsu’s interruption felt like an explosion of force as a burst of hot air filled the room, “I couldn’t give a damn what THAT bastard says! Since when did we ever trust that snake?!”

“That’s enough, Natsu!” Makarov shouted, silencing them both. He stood between them with arms crossed and mustache bristling. “You know as well as anyone that I wouldn’t trust that man with the life of a slug, but we can’t take any risks until we have more information.” Lucy’s eyes had opened by then, viewing Natsu before her as he attempted to block the Chief's view. Makarov’s expression did not fit one of a leader protecting his clan from danger, but of a tired man, riddled in guilt. His narrowed brows made his expression harsher than the downcast of his eyes, but they met hers with shame, “Considering her condition, Lucy won't be leaving this room for a few days, this is just a precaution.” He didn’t bring attention towards her waking up.. Instead, the elder forced his gaze to meet Natsu’s, whose entire frame had grown stiff.

“How is locking her up like some kinda criminal a precaution? Are ya losing your mind, gramps?!”

“Natsu!” Erza interjected, stepping from her position she grasped the pommel of her sword, “You will show the Master the respect he deserves or be punished by my ha-”

A flare of fire and heat surged from Natsu’s feet, drowning out the sound of Lucy’s surprise. “Just try it Erza, I don’t care that you can pummel my face into the dirt- you draw that sword and I won't hesitate to melt it!”

“Quiet! Both of you!” Makarov barked, causing them to jump as a heavy pressure emanated from the smaller man’s body. The weight pressed against Lucy like weights and her weak body struggled to breathe at the onslaught. It rippled away as fast as it struck and Makarov cleared his throat, eyes meeting hers again in apology. Makarov straightened his back, motioning his fingers for the female warrior to retreat back to the doorway.. “I’ll not have you threatening Natsu for doing what he thinks is right. He’s attached to the girl and for good reason. Even I would rather protect her in some way that didn’t involve locking her up.”

“Protect her?” The two warriors, perplexed, questioned in unison.

“ - but you said she was gonna get locked up,” Natsu wavered, his earlier tenacity simmering. He took a step back to Lucy’s bed, “what are you talkin’ about?”

Makarov rubbed his temples, lips thinned in consternation as he grumbled, “Listen here, you knucklehead. For some reason, Jose and his men are looking for the girl. We don’t know why, but it’s enough for them to risk entering our woods and feeding information to Laxus. We know he would never allow something to threaten our home. Corroborating that information is the young man in our cells, Kage. Rather than give that information up himself, he implied what Laxus knew to already be fact. Something is amiss here, and I don’t want to leave anything to chance!”

“Yes, exactly.” Erza nodded, her expression as fierce as ever.

Natsu snarled, his fury rekindled, “and how does treating Lucy like some kinda criminal, protect her?”

“Natsu, use your head for a moment, would you?” Makarov groaned. “They are trying to make us give her up without attempting to break through our defenses. Whether they’re speaking the truth or not is not the issue. They want her and have already made it clear they will attack us to get her. In her state, if they somehow managed to break in, do you think she could fight them off as she is? Until we get answers, she’s safer where we can keep an eye on her.”

The words sunk in, filling the room with a permeable silence that was suffocating. Natsu’ back was still facing Lucy, but she could imagine the expression on his face, mouth open as he struggled for words- his dark eyes glittering fiercely. Erza’s features had softened, no longer attempting to intimidate the Draconis into submission One that spoke of a quiet remorse that matched their Chief.

“I just,” Natsu swallowed, tongue swiping along his lips as he put his thoughts to vocalization, “I don’t get how that’s fair to her, that’s... That’s all.”

The tension broke, all shoulders relaxed and Makarov’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Perhaps it’s not, but she needs rest and a way to stay safe for now. I don’t intend for her to stay in these stone walls forever, you know. That’s not a life for anyone.”

“... but-”

His eyes twinkled knowingly, “Perhaps Lucy can tell us what she thinks?”

His gaze met hers once again while two heads twisted to look back, Natsu’s cheeks were flushed from emotion, eyes wide. “You’re awake? Is the fever broke? Are you better?!” Lucy blinked owlishly and wondered if Natsu realized just how loud they were being to expect her to still be sleeping. Carefully, she sat up, fingers twisting the thin blankets that covered her. “Yes and I heard everything, Natsu.”

The discussion that followed lead to a tantrum from Natsu. He never expected Lucy to agree to the terms and his agitated shouts still echoed through her mind. When the Draconis left, his heated hand slammed against the wall at his exit. Lucy could still smell the charred door frame upon examination even after the few days that passed.

Her leg throbbed where she stood, but Lucy ignored it. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but she couldn’t deny the logic. If they felt this was the best course of action, then her best option was to listen and hope for the best. How else could she prove her innocence? Truthfully, being distrusted due to some rumors being spread, struck her heart like knives, but she couldn’t blame them for being careful. They didn’t know her. Not really. Blinking back a sting of emotion, her pale fingers clenched tightly together.

��It’s not as if they are my family,” She sighed, “they can’t be expected to trust me that easy.”

Except, they did trust her. So many assured her as they passed by to deliver food, water or to provide other needs. Natsu more than most. He visited for hours at a time. As did Cana, Wendy and Mirajane. Even Gray shuffled by her window at times to check in on her. All those she had spent the end of Summer and Fall with, attempted to give her company at any moment they could spare. It was heartwarming, but not enough for the rest. Not yet.

Lucy hadn’t realized the clan would be so large, or so full of people who didn’t travel all year round. The cove was like their own village, working together just as any other, and not everyone carried a source of magic within them. Mirajane had tried to answer a few other questions during her visits, but while the knowledge had been interesting, it wasn’t the same as experience.

Watching a few waves crash against the beach, Lucy’s lip trembled and she struggled to hold back a wave of tears. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come with them, after all.”

“And what makes you think that?” A voice came from below and Lucy yelped. She jumped away and narrowly grazing her hair against the upper window frame. “Goodness, your observation skills need some work, don’t they?”

“M-Makarov-?” She asked, breathless, blood pounded in her ears and she struggled to calm her heart rate. Resisting the urge to step away further, she tilted her gaze downward for the interloper, surprised to find the Clan Chief seated calmly beneath her.

Makarov sat comfortably on the cool, dead grass, arms crossed under his fur cloak, the top of his balding head the only thing she could see from her angle. Sputtering, the Romni cleared her throat and wondered how long he’d been there. Did he do this often?

“I didn’t think anyone would sit there,” She admitted, “then again, most people don’t think to look under their windows.”

He chuckled and tilted his gaze up to grin at her, “Of course they don’t. Now then, are you going to answer my question or aren’t you?”

“Question?” She deadpanned, only just processing the words that had startled her. “Isn’t that answer a little obvious? You welcomed me to stay as long as I wanted, but look where it got me. Stuck in a small room. The view is lovely, but that doesn’t really make up for it.”

“Ah yes,” He said, pushing himself up to face her, “I knew you were putting on a brave face for the others. I wish it hadn’t come to this.” “I know.” Lucy said, eyes moving away from his. The look on his face was full of pity. She couldn’t bare to see it. “I know why you did it, I just…” She couldn’t help how she felt, the words dropping before she could finish, hanging in the air and dispersing, but the elder understood. He gripped his staff and inhaled slowly, as if mentally counting the seconds before he spoke.

“You’re a strong, girl.” He said, “Though I don’t think you realize it yet. I’ve noticed many of the others visiting you. They seem to accept you just fine, haven’t you noticed?” Lucy made no effort to respond, unwilling to state her fear of the opposite. She didn’t have a family, and this new clan couldn’t trust her. What right did she have to hope for more? Licking her lips, she looked over Makarov’s head, searching for a new subject. “Where’s Natsu?”

She missed him, strangely enough He often poked his head through the window as if he could fit right through it. (His shoulders were too too broad, but that didn’t stop him any.) The day they had locked her in, he had complained and dug his heels in, refusing to give an inch- even more so when she agreed to it. His anger at her decision was clear, but that never stopped him from visiting. However, she hadn’t seen him since the night before, and it left her anxious. Was he still upset?

“He’s on patrol today.” Makarov broke through her thoughts, full of amusement, “I’m sure the minute he returns he’ll be trying to dive through your window again, don’t worry about that.”

“Patrol?” Somehow, Lucy had never thought the need for patrolling would be necessary.

“Hmm, yes- while Erza and a few others are tracking down the men who attacked, he’s part of another group that’s keeping watch over all entrances. He’ll be back once off rotation.”

It was then that Lucy remembered Natsu was one of the many warriors and hunters in the clan. She’d become so used to having him near, watching out for her, that the day they had met was almost a distant memory. The revelation left an empty feeling inside. Not a day went by that she didn’t recall the days and nights with the slavers, but the singular night that lead to her escape had somehow become a blurred vision. Had she grown so used to the clan? Had her guard been lowered?

“Now, I did have a reason for my visit,” Makarov pulled her from her reverie once again and she flushed at being caught distracted twice. His mustache twitched in amusement, but his eyes were narrowed: serious. “Do you recall what I told you when you first awoke from your fever?”

Her eyes lit up, “Yes?” After accepting his order to be shut in, Lucy had asked about the man they’d captured. In her state, she missed far too many things. Who was Jose? And what were they told to make them distrust her so? When she asked, Natsu and Erza had stiffened, their expressions cloudy. Makarov was undeterred and shook his head. “I’d rather not reopen old wounds by repeating them to you. Just know it has raised many concerns that need looking into if we’re to keep you here.”

It wasn’t the answer she wanted, but at his order, no one would tell her otherwise and she knew it. Looking upon the Chief now, she hoped he was ready to give her the answers she requested. No, the answers she needed and deserved to know. “I’m still not telling you what was said.” She deflated instantly, but he raised a hand to interrupt an outburst. “Lucy, I need you to trust me. I know it’s hard to feel as if we’re on the same side, but I assure you that all my decisions have been made in your interest, not just my own. What was mentioned spoke of the deaths of your family, and I won’t force you to relive that telling again.”

She bit her lip enough to draw blood and winced, her own brows knit together as she shook in silent fury. “I’m sorry, Makarov, but I have WANTED to trust you since I was saved. I’ve wanted to heal and to feel safe and, and- “ to find a new home! She couldn’t finish the words as a strangled sob burst through her. Lucy’s knuckles hurt from her as she slammed the flat of her fists against the stone, “h-how do you expect me to do that when you wont even tell me what I’m being locked up for?”

He let her talk, calmly watching as she shook and poured forth her frustration and feelings of helplessness, but when she fell silent- his gaze no longer held the pity it once had. “You were accused of something dreadful, and I won’t lay that burden on you.” She opened her mouth to speak, but his voice turned harsh, “Lucy! I need you to be quiet and listen!”

Her mouth ran dry, eyes wide while emotions boiled over into more tears that clouded her vision. “What is it?”

“I don’t believe what that man told Laxus is true. I refuse to believe it!” The passion in his words surprised her, belied everything said before, it filled her with jarring confusion. “That being said, I still have to make absolute certain that my own intuition is correct. I have to ask this of you, Lucy. One more time, please tell me that you gave me and Natsu the full truth about the attack on your Clan.. Tell me you gave every. last. detail.”

Lucy froze. So that was it. Whatever this Jose had said, whatever this Kage intended when he attacked, it all had made her sound as if she had something to hide. Air left her as her lungs constricted, refusing to breathe and her eyes stung with tears she couldn’t contain. Swallowing thickly, her mind ran through her previous account: the route they had traveled, the sudden attack, the wagon that covered her… surviving, listless and alone, traveling like a wilting corpse until …

The men that caught her, outside of a town, as if they had known exactly where to find her. Had she lied? Emotions and memory flurried together in her heart and mind; they whispered and circled, giving visions of memories she had forgotten or dreamt of nightly. Had she hidden some terrible truth? Did Makarov know something she didn't about her own family?

Lucy met his gaze, her voice cold and gaze blazing. Lucy answered with every emotion she could feel boiling beneath her skin, throbbing in her knee, “I told you everything I know.”

That was the truth and she prayed he would feel her earnest emotions and know them for what they were. He grew silent as the wind grew in force, rustling empty branches and dying leaves across the turf as sand from the beach scattered against the stone wall. His gaze searched hers, as if burrowing into her eyes to pick apart her brain, but the Romni refused to turn her eyes away.

The tension faded, melting into a sigh of relief and a small smile crinkled the corners of his eyes, “That’s all I needed, Lucy. Thank you.”

She didn’t know what string had pulled taut inside her, but it snapped- releasing the tension in her body as the last ounce of energy inside her faded. Limbs felt boneless and her knee panged like an electric shock. Lucy mustered what strength she had in her to hold herself up and looked towards the village beyond. She felt as if she’d been put through her paces and took a deep breath to fill her shuddering lungs.

“I don’t know what I did to ease your mind,” She said, “but you’re welcome, I suppose.”

“Never you mind that,” he replied, reclasping his cloak as he turned from her, “Your eyes told me all I needed. I’m sorry I had to put you through that. Now rest up, please. “

She didn’t move as he left, a lightness to his steps she hadn’t noticed until then. Lucy pursed her lips, her heart still raw from their discussion. She refused to rest, not until he had left her sight, but Makarov didn’t remain alone for long. Joining him at a nearby corner was a tall blond man she had yet to meet. He spoke with the chief before narrowed eyes looked her way. Lucy felt rather than heard the threat that came from his stare.

He didn’t trust her and wouldn’t hesitate to strike her down if he had to; that she knew. Though the expression on his face was difficult to distinguish from a distance, she knew the intense feel of it. It was the same look she had given the slaver’s when captured. A look she never expected to have aimed at herself.

“That… must be Laxus,” She surmised, exhaustion forced her to finally drift from the window to fall against the ragged cot that was her bed, “It almost felt like an angry bear was staring me down.”

Lucy laughed, her voice empty, and closed her eyes. She wouldn’t sleep, not now. Lucy felt she had slept long enough in recent days and the Romni refused to succumb to further daytime napping. She would rest her body and wait to rise again. Maybe her next visitor would give her a reason to smile and hope, rather than jump through emotional hoops.

Her breathing began to even out, but the wind and sounds of others rushing by her window, echoed in and out of her ears, keeping her aware. With each intake of oxygen, her limbs grew heavier- the release of all tension in her body relieved Lucy and allowed the last vestiges of tears to fall, stain her cheeks and dampen her pillow. Only a few, and her crying stopped after a few stricken gasps.

She didn’t want to think anymore, only listen.

… forgive us….

What?

We didn’t mean to hurt you.

She couldn’t open her eyes, but the voices whispered in her mind as if beside her, it caused goosebumps to travel up her arm. ‘Who are you?’ Lucy froze, realizing that while her mouth moved- she couldn’t hear herself. Muted, quiet, no voice to echo along the walls of her room.

‘What’s going on?’

Don’t you remember us, yet?

We wanted to help.

It’s our fault… please… please…

‘Wait, I can’t-’ Lucy struggled for the words to come, but the barrage of voices continued echoing through her skull. Memories of Natsu rushing off to fight without her flooded her senses, the sudden ability to see his every move, the aches in her head the…

The voices…

Forgive us!

The sudden paralysis broke and Lucy shot up from her bed to shout furiously. “Tell me who you are already!”

Lucy’s words echoed off the stone walls with brilliant vibrations and her chest heaved from the exertion. The voices scattered, dispersing as quickly as they came and a strange pressure in her skull released. Lucy blinked the vestiges of sleep from her eyes and gasped. Why was this happening so much?

“Last I checked I was the same as I always was. Do I sound different to you or something?” As if the world was set to continue throwing surprise visitors at her, Natsu’s familiar voice struck Lucy like cannon fire and in her sudden fright, she slipped from the cot with a loud thud.

“Ow! - W-when did you get here?!” She whined as her fingers searched for the nearby cane to pull herself up.

“Just now.” He said, beaming from the window as he watched, but the smile was forced. “You doing all right? That didn’t hurt you did it?”

“I’m fine!” She shouted, teeth ground together as she managed to stand, “Just perfect!” Rubbing her stiff knee, Lucy gripped her cane tighty. Makarov sounded as if he would be gone for most of the day, what brought Natsu back so soon? She was about to ask, but froze mid-sentence when she realized the sun was well-beyond the horizon behind Natsu’s head.

“-But, I wasn’t sleeping, how did-” She stammered, looking back from her cot and towards the window again. Was all that just a dream? The Draconis at her window watched her with a deep interest, nose scrunched as she looked between them. His lips pulled back under his teeth as he examined her from the distance.

“And you’re sure you didn’t hit your head?” He asked quizzically, one pink brow lifting into his fringe. “Cause you’re sounding a little strange right now, Lucy.”

��I said I was fine, Natsu,” She snapped as she trudged back towards the window. His hair was a mess, much like the time she’d picked leaves from it. His outfit had changed as well. No longer clothed in just a vest and pants- a loose shirt was worn beneath. She ignored the appreciative voice in her head that enjoyed the view of its open neck. Clearing her throat, she tore her eyes away and sighed, “Sorry, you didn’t deserve that.”

Natsu used his forearms to hold himself up pushing partially through the window with feet splayed out behind him. Not for the first time, it looked as if he would attempt to crawl through. Instead, he hung in the air, head closer to hers while his frown deepened. “Nah, I probably do.”

“Natsu?”

His eyes were solemn, a dark brooding simmered in the depths of them. The past few days were full of the Draconis bouncing between anger and energized movement; Each time he came, he either threatened to break down her doors and pull her free or bring her new items from the village to look at. She saw nothing on his person today, but the dirt and scuff marks on his clothing told a clear story. He’d run straight to her from his patrol. Lucy felt a lightness in her chest at the realization, but ignored it too. He was too close, even if he was barely through the opening.

“I couldn’t convince them to let ya’ out,” His rumbling complaint turned to a low growl, full of frustration, “And instead of bustin’ the doors down like I should be doin’, I’m just letting them keep ya here.”

“It makes me sick!” Lucy flinched at his fervor, it dripped in bitter toxicity and spewed from his mouth like hissing fire. His gaze darkened as he shifted back to his feet and he ground his teeth together, sucking in air to calm himself.

Lucy hated seeing him like this, closing in the distance to reach out. He froze at her touch, her hand cupping his cheek and lightly rubbing his skin and unseen stubble.His focus turned back to her with wide and blinking eyes. She knew he’d been against Makarov’s decision from the start, but she never realized just how much he placed the blame on himself for it. “No, you’re not. I agreed to it, remember?”

His dark gaze melded with her own, the simple effect of her hand against him made his shoulders relax and the Roma relaxed further, tilting his head to nudge into her palm before moving away. He reached out and flicked her on the nose. “Ya shouldn’t have, that’s my whole point!”

“H-hey!” She recoiled instantly, but avenged herself seconds after by pinching his nose with enough force to make his eyes cross. “Don’t be rude! I only agreed to it because I know it’s not going to be forever! You’d know that too if you had any faith in me!”

“Oi! I do have faith, why else would I think you shouldn’t be stuck in here?!”

“I don’t know, maybe because you don’t think everything through?”

“Now you’re just being mean, Lucy!”

“No, I’m being practical! You should try it sometime!”

Breathing mingled together as they continued their back and forth. It was a tug-o-war match over who could make the other retreat from the window first, but neither did. A few more well-placed barbs and the two fell silent, glowering at each other in mock offense. A cricket chirped, interrupting the moment and their downturned expressions lifted to a fit of giggles instead. They leaned against the sil, laughing and gasping for air as they wiped their watery eyes.

“I needed that.” Lucy admitted, her quiet chortles became muffled behind her hand and Natsu’s fanged grin grew wide as he agreed. But he fell silent faster than her, his expression pensieve. The silent consideration sobered her and she stared in confusion. What was it now?

“You know what?” He asked, leaning further into her personal space, eyes gleamed with a sudden, mischievous light, “I think you need a better view. What do you say?”

Lucy blinked, casting her eyes to the frame of the window and around the landscape between them. All things considered, her view was fairly decent, if not limited, “And how am I supposed to get that?” She asked, her arms crossed. “Are you going to make me a new window?”

“Nope!” He exclaimed, pointing pass her towards a stool in the corner, “Bring that over and stand on it.”

Not understanding his intentions, but seeing no reason to disagree, Lucy hobbled to do as requested. The stool was lighter than it looked, and wobbled when she placed her foot upon it. After a few adjustments, she managed to stand, balancing on the seat while it boosted her an extra foot: the view was extraordinary.

“I never thought I’d see a wall this close up.” She said dryly.

Natsu snickered, “Don’t be weird and bend down through the window. It’s too narrow for me, but your shoulders should fit through just fine!”

His plan finally dawned on her, “Wait, are you wanting me to sneak out?” What other reason could he have? Curiosity urged her to follow his instructions, feeling just a graze of the stone frame brush across her shoulders. Natsu was right, she could fit through, but the stool wobbled and her balance faltered. “N-Natsu this is- I shouldn’t be doing this!”

He used a steady hand to hold her by the shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you get back in again,. Just trust me, will you?” With guided movements, he pulled her through, clicking his tongue as she wriggled through the opening. The pain of her knee was a dull throb in response to the movement, but to Lucy’s surprise, Natsu’s grip did not falter and he swung her gently down to place her on solid ground without fuss.

She smelled the woods on him as her fingers searched for purchase in the hem of his vest to hold herself. “If I can’t get back in later, I’m blaming you. What are you planning?”

“Keh, I’ll take the blame no problem!” Natsu’s chest puffed and he turned to look towards the starlit beach. “Not everyone sleeps early, but you still haven’t got much of a tour yet have you? Let’s change that.”

A part of her knew that it was better to have him help her crawl right back into her locked room. To be patient and wait for Makarov to release her, but soft whispers, familiar and unheard, spoke into her mind and urged her to listen. Grasping his hand - her cane forgotten in the confines of her room- Lucy smiled.

The stars were bright. It felt like their own brilliant glitter agreed with the voice inside her.

“I’d like that.”

Natsu’s only response was to smile so brightly, it was like the sun was still shining.

#FT Fanfiction #Nalu Fanfiction #Fairy Tail Fanfiction #Mira's Fanfiction #Nalu #NatsuxLucy #Natsu #Lucy #Flame's Desire #Chapter 11 #Fairy Tail #FT #Multi-Chapter #Fanfiction

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 3 years

Note

I am of the opinion that PQ2 should have been released AFTER P5R

Tbh PQ2 is placed where it is because of the 3DS' life cycle. I'd place it farther but the PQ series working on Switch(+maybe other places) is most likely reliant on the/an EO's switch game (to help adjust the formula). If it wasn't for that, I'd probs slowly remake/port P1-4 while spewing out more/different P5 spinoffs before we get to PQ2. (so I don’t disagree, there’s a couple of ways they could’ve gone about it, but even tho it’s speculation it’s fun, none of it matters cause we probs got the worst timeline ;w; anyway time to just ramble about related stuff 8U) (but I would love to hear your opinion as to why you think that’s the case!)

Word vomit word vomit~! Under the cut cause I can’t reply like a normal person 8U ;x; (don’t mind me the gears started-a-turning aklfjdsakl)

Tho tbh, from what we got with PQ2, I dunno if Adding Sumi and Jose would be good. PQ2 is pretty directionless with it's cast imo, like it has something to say but half the time they feel like mouthpieces and not actually......the characters we know being involved. It already has a handful of b/c/d/f plots and it barely even dives deeper than a kids wadding pool with them orz I'd say what's the harm in adding Sumi/Jose since it already can't handle the cast it's been dealt it won't hurt having two more, but do I WANT Sumi/Jose (and possibly Takuto) to suffer for that? Nah. I'd rather we get a PQ3, were we can focus on the implications of Sumi having just awakened and the team side eyeing Joker/Mona for not telling them and all those implications. Her bonding with the team would probs be drowned out by Hamu and Hikari (when they actually feel like giving them some focus that is), plus Goro's stupid bullshit just.......listen.... PQ1? Chars can be a biiiiit mean at times, and are flanderized, but damn do they all feel involved and still have some remnant of their original personality (they aren't flanderized all the time and not all chars are flanderized) but man did they feel important to the game. DX I’ll take it over the clustered bullshit that is PQ2 orz

Anyway, tbh, now that I think about it, P5R should’ve been released in 2021ish time. For a PS4/PS5 release. Would’ve given the PS5 another flag ship game, and justifying it on another console as well (plus a 4 year gap feels a little more justified than a 3 year gap, esp when there’s a new console involved). It also doesn’t help we got two horrible failures of spinoffs in between P5 and P5R (one is the P3/5D and yes I’m counting them as one game, and PQ2 who is at best a slog and at worst is one of the biggest thorn in my side lore wise since P5 sauntered onto the scene...that being said I mostly blame the failure of that game on the dead console it was on). A remake and/or Scramble honestly should’ve been the next game right then and there (oh hey where have I seen that before? Oh right, P4. And it worked, we had about 3 remakes/enhanced ports before our Arena/sequel but still it worked). Not “cash grab the game” or “let’s just set the poor thing up for failure” the game. Like PQ2 would’ve been ok to fail if we at least got a remake and P5S (and I really don’t give a shit about P5S, but it def should’ve been there early on).

And an extra bonus with P5S releasing early is that, after P5R released, we could have a P5S re-release with a tweaked storyline maybe involving Goro/Sumi/Jose/yadda yadda on the PS5! Is that a bit cash grabby? Maybe. Is it at least cash grabby with a purpose? Yes. We want purpose. Purpose is good. Purpose, means they have our interests in mind. 8U

*inhales* tbh....the PQ2 we got....could’ve/would’ve worked better without the P5 cast. I KNOW, Silly hates-a-the-P5, but.....at this point it’s not even that. There is one char that really tries hard to relate with Hikari that isn’t the shut in bullshit (yeah sure let’s give Futaba more screen time, it’s not like she didn’t have enough of that, nothing against shut ins, just P5/Q2′s writing). And it’s Hamuko. regardless how you feel about the FeMC, the B plot of “I am all alone, I am separated from my loved ones, the same loved ones I see look the same but aren’t them (oh hey another Tatsuya parallel 8U), and to top it off some stranger is in the role I’m supposed to be in. Am I replaceable? What’s the point of my existence if I’m not the only one who can fulfil this role?” have an entire game based on that existential crisis. We don’t even need the same setting/cast (Hikari/Nagi/Doe), actually I’d keep the Climax Theater but I’d lean HEAVILY into the P2 references/themes and such (Hamu already has a lot in common with Tatsuya, this just adds to it even more!). That B plot with Hamu could probs carry a game itself, or her issues can easily tie into the A plot of that game (like how Rei/Zen’s did with PQ1). Don’t delegated it to a watered down B plot that PQ2 gave us. jfjsadfj hell this probs would’ve been a better time for Sumi to be involved instead. Instead of the P5R new char, she’s the new PQ char and hey they can bond over that (sure we can do that in the current PQ2 game, but we can’t fit it in that well cause we have to tell the P5 cast how cool we think they are! even tho they haven’t really done anything but breathe! >8U)

It’d be a good follow up to PQ1 esp if released not long after, with it being a P3xP4 crossover, it’d 1) feel almost like a direct sequel, 2) riding the coattails of PQ1′s success at the most timely of times, 3) connected with 2 but it’d be at the hype of the 3DS, 4) we don’t have to worry about fans not knowing who they are since that cast is still relevant, 5) it gets Hamu’s thing out of the way so that PQ3 can allow the P5 kids to shine! Cause I’mma be honest, the PQ2 we got doesn’t really make them stand out, outside of the Kamoman dungeon. Plus it’d allow us to give more screen time to juicier B plots that people probably wish for with a P5 involved PQ game (such as Goro, I know y’all thirsty for him, this benefits you guys!)

Ah sorry you probs didn’t want a rant klasdjfalf just tired and the gears started turning and ahhhhh orz Anyway, again, I don’t disagree with you anon, I def think they could’ve done things differently and done it a lot of different ways too. XU And btw I’d love to hear more why you think that!

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lapinbunwrites · 4 years

Text

One Love Spans Lifetimes

Rating: T

Warnings: Major Character Death, Blood

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses

Relationship: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier

Word Count” 9.649

Ao3 Link

It had only been months since the war had ended. It had only been months since Sylvain had inherited his title as Margrave. That was the last time he had seen his dearest friend...his love, Felix. He knew that he would leave. Not that he could blame him, with no prince...without their childhood friend, there wasn’t much of a reason to stay. And with no father to have pride in him, what was the point? It was only natural for him to become a mercenary, Sylvain could only wonder what would have happened if the Professor didn’t persuade the two of them into their class. One could only wonder.

Sylvain walked through Fhirdiad markets, making his way towards a flower shop. Due to Faerghus’ harsh winter conditions, it was always hard to grow flowers. But when spring came, and when the weather was warmer, people were able to plant some pretty flowers. There were a bunch that caught his eye. He knew they all had a meaning to them. He kept looking around until he found a mixture of flowers that he liked. Sylvain walked to the graveyard in the forest behind the castle. There were two graves he stood in front of.

“Mercedes von Martritz”

“Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd”

He placed Amaranth Globes, Plumerias, and Gardenias on both of their graves. He knew that they loved each other. He knew that. Everyone knew that. They would do anything for each other, much like how he would do anything for Felix. Sylvain looked at his left hand. He wore a gold wedding band. It was something Felix promised him. To be married in the midst of a war, it was crazy. Sylvain laughed. The two were crazy enough to do it. He loved Felix so much, but he knew that he couldn’t stay idle forever. He knew that he would come home to him eventually. When exactly, he never knew.

Sylvain let out a sigh as he held his hand closer to his lips. “Was it something I said,” he sang. “Was there something I should’ve said.” He breathed. His voice started to quiver as tears started to roll down his face. He wanted to see Felix again. He wanted to see his love. His little Blue Giggle. “I miss your eyes, your smile,” he sighed. “I miss your laugh.”

Felix felt the cold rain drop onto his face. It had been so long since he had seen his beloved Sylvain. The day he left, the day he renounced his title as a noble, he had been fighting all over Fodlan. It was the only thing he knew he was good at. And with every fight, Sylvain’s words rang in his ears. He couldn’t keep fighting. And when the fighting was done and said, what then? He looked at his hand, looking at his wedding band. He was the one to propose...And the one to leave first. He knew that he was going to be the one to leave first.

He took a deep breath and exhaled, seeing the cloud of fog. He wanted to go home, but he was needed to stop all of these bandits and fights. He fought day in and day out. Sleeping on the ground and uncomfortable inn beds. It was a different life than the one he grew up with. A house with a comfy bed, meals, and snacks every day, a better promise for another day of life, caring parents, caring friends. Now...Now there was no promise for tomorrow, moving around from inn to inn, no parents, no friends….No Sylvain. He destroyed all the relationships that he had. He destroyed all the relationships people were trying to fix.

His father, Dimitri, Ingrid, everyone. And...And Sylvain. And the worst part about him, he wouldn’t hold it against him. Felix sniffed. He could imagine his face when he would arrive back home. A smile that would beat the sun. A pure and cheerful smile that would be bigger than the sun. It would be warm, caring. He missed his stupid smile, his stupid heart. He missed him. Felix felt sorrow bubbling into his chest. One day...One day he’ll make it back to Sylvain. One day he’ll make it back home. But today was not the day.

Felix made his way to an inn, following someone to his room. He looked at it. It was a bit tight but managed to fit a bed, a dresser, and a desk. It was a lot like his room at Garegg Mach. Thanks to this, all of his memories started to flood back to him. The days he spent training, studying, and even the rare days that he had to clean up Sylvain’s messes. Man, was he furious. A small smile appeared on his face as he remembered those days. Oh, how he missed them.

Felix rummaged through his pouch, grabbing his journal, ink, and owl feather. He sat at his desk, flipping through the book filled with words. He stopped when he found a blank page to write on. He sighed, looking blankly at the page. What was he supposed to write? “I’m sorry?” That wasn’t going to cut it. Felix wrote it plenty of times. How was he going to write this letter to Sylvain? This journal was filled with many others that he tried to write and to send to him. He never did have the courage to send any. He was never good with words, especially ones filled with flowers and love.

He felt something swell inside. He wrote down whatever he felt was in his heart. He wanted to get everything off his mind...and his chest. Whatever came to mind, he wrote down. No word, no feeling was spared. And with each and every word he wrote, he could feel himself inch closer to crying. It wasn’t like him to do so, but he was in pain. It was only a matter of time where he put down his quill. He covered his face with his hand and started to cry silently. His tears falling onto the pages.

He woke up late into the night. Felix didn’t even realize he cried himself to sleep. He lit up a few candles, placing them on his desk so he could finish his letter. He took it slow and careful, not wanting to cry again. Even though he was writing, even though he knew he wasn’t going to send this to Sylvain, he could understand why he did it. It just...It just felt right. Maybe him writing the words down felt like Sylvain could feel it in his heart. At the end of the letter, he wrote a song for him. Or added more lyrics to a song that he would sing.

The next morning, Felix left the inn to finish his trek to Derdriu, the old aquatic capitol to the fallen Leicester Alliance. He was hired to help quell a small rebellion from a bandit group. Nothing too hard. He, and a few others, went to the bandits base. They were smoked out of the building, only leaving them to fight. It didn’t take them more than two hours to defeat these guys and give them a make-shift funeral. After everything was said and done, he took out his journal and started to write to Sylvain about the battle and that he was okay.

“Whatcha doing there,” one of the soldiers smirked.

“None of your business,” Felix replied.

“Writing to your girlfriend,” they teased, ignoring his words.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he sighed in irritation.

“Oh, your wifey then?”

He sighed again. “Who I love is none of your business. Quit talking to me.”

He stormed off, not caring what other ridiculous nonsense that came out of their mouth. He was married to Sylvain. How did they not know that? It wasn’t like they kept it a secret. Surely word about it spread. He shook his head, not putting much more thought into it. It wasn’t like he was going to see the soldier again. He started to walk back to the old Faerghus Kingdom. He had to report back to his employer about this if he wanted to receive some sort of payment. Maybe now he could return back to Sylvain. It had been a long while since he had.

Sylvain sat in a boring meeting about the New Kingdom of Fodlan. This meeting was just matters of cleaning up the old Adrestian Empire. Why did he have to be a part of this? He had other things to attend to, fixing the Sreng problem that his father left him, and more importantly, worrying about Felix. Where was he? He was supposed to be back by now. The mission he had shouldn’t have taken as long as it was. Either way, Sylvain was still worried that he was in harm's way. He had to remind himself that he was a capable man that he needed to be patient for his beloved to return. He can wait a lifetime for him. He would wait for him in every life that they spent together.

After the meeting, he talked to Byleth about some policies that they had. It was a short discussion since someone had interrupted them to give Sylvain some information on Felix. His heart became full and warm when he heard he was alive and still kicking. The soldier handed him a journal that Felix wrote in. He smiled as he flipped through the pages of the book. He could feel his heart beat faster as he skimmed some of the words. He knew Felix wasn’t good with words, but he knew each word that he wrote was filled with love.

He pressed the book against his lips, giving it a kiss before mouthing “I love you, Felix.” Sylvain happily walked out of Garegg Mach, reading some of the things that he said. Some of the words made him laugh, some made him cry, but he wouldn’t ask anything otherwise. He put the journal away so he could get on his horse. It was going to be a long couple of days, but at least he knew that Felix was thinking about him. It made the trek back home a little more bearable.

Sylvain got back home and rushed to his room, he lit up some candles to help him read the words that Felix left him. He wanted to stay up all night to read as much as he could. Though, it did not work out. He fell asleep an hour after he came home. Within the next few days, and in between reading the journal, Sylvain had meetings with the people in town to get it up and running again. He talked to people in Sreng to see if he could help out with anything. He also made sure to talk to his people, and other powerful lords, about how Crests weren’t that important. He didn’t hate doing these things, nor did he like them, they were just exhausting. With days like these, he wished and hoped that Felix would come home any minute and help him and to talk to him, to help ease the pain. But he waited. He waited as patiently as he could. He waited for him every day.

Under a lot of stress from the past couple of weeks, Sylvain took it upon himself to take a few days off and take a trip to Fraldarius territory. It wouldn’t be a good idea for him to die so early in life due to stress. Especially not when you promised your husband you would die together. It would just break Felix’s heart to see that he broke his promise. Before he went to Felix’s old house, he stopped at a flower shop to pick some up. After that, it wasn’t long before he was at the Fraldarius family home, and it wasn’t long before he was at their graveyard. Sylvain placed blue violets on Rodrigue’s grave and put blue stars near Glenn’s armour.

He offered his prayers to them and kept silent afterward. He let the wind do all of the talking. He missed this family. He wanted to be a part of it for as long as he could remember. By the time he was able to, he lost his brother-in-law and on his way to losing his father-in-law. Rodrigue died shortly after the two got married. Felix wouldn’t admit it, but Sylvain knew that he was devastated when he found his father had died. Maybe in another path, he could have lived and that they could be a happy family once more. Once the wind quieted down, Sylvain could hear light footsteps from someone. He stood up to face her.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Sylvain,” she said.

“A long time indeed, Lady Fraldarius,” he smiled. He walked over to her and handed her some pink carnations. “For you.”

She smiled, taking the flowers from him. “Thank you.” It was silent for a few seconds so she could offer her own prayers to her son and her beloved husband. “What brings you here?”

“Paying my respects.”

“Is that all?”

Sylvain sighed. “I’m a little stressed right now and I just wanted to get away from everything.”

“So you come here of all places,” she chuckled.

“Yeah,” he faintly smiled. “I really miss this place,” he sniffed.

“I know, dear. It would have been better to have Felix here.”

“Agreed. I just wish I knew where he was.”

“He was always an ornery child. He could never sit still.”

A smile crept upon Sylvain’s face. “That’s too true. He always wanted to do something with me, Dimitri, Glenn, Ingrid. Anyone he got close to.”

Lady Fraldarius chuckled. “Why don’t you go inside and walk around for a while. Let it bring back the memories.”

“Thank you,” he said, giving her a kiss on her cheek.

“Sylvain,” she called out before he went back inside.

“Yes?” He asked.

“Wherever Felix is, he will always be in our hearts. And wherever you are, he’ll know you will be there for him. He knows where his home is.”

Sylvain’s smile grew bigger. Of course, he was, Felix always said that Sylvain was his home and that he would never leave him. He always had been his home. He walked back into the estate, walking through all its rooms and halls. He heard the laughter of children running around the house. It was their laughter. He felt so warm inside. He came across a large room, a room where he would play with Felix. They would fight about toys, they would make up and start to laugh again. Sylvain kept on walking around, making his way to the kitchen. He remembered him and Felix cooking with Lady Faldarius. The faces they would make when his mother would cook something yummy, it was priceless. She was one of the few people in Faerghus that could cook.

Finally, Sylvain made it to Felix’s old room; the room that he barely left when his brother died. He could remember all of his tears that he cried. He remembered both of their tears. He remembered Felix begging him not to leave him. Not then, not now, not ever. Sylvain sat at his desk and started to read more of the journal. He broke down. He finally broke down. The words he wrote in one entry, who knows how long ago. He could feel those words in every inch of his body.

“To my dearly beloved Sylvain,” his lips quivered. “I miss you so very dearly, with my whole heart.” He stopped. He took a breath. He wanted to get through the passage, to be able to read his heart. “I love you and all that you are. I wish I could be near you right now, but we both know that’s not possible.” Sylvain’s voice broke into a cry. It took a few minutes to read again. “I miss your red hair, brown eyes, your voice.” He said, breaking through his cry. “I miss all of you. Know that, with every step I take, with every heartbeat that I have, you are always on my mind...and in my heart. Signed your Little Blue Giggle, Felix Hugo Fraldarius.”

It was hard for him to stop crying after reading the passage. He was being patient as he possibly could with him. He wanted Felix with him now more than ever. Things were stressful enough, but being alone hurt even more. He wiped the last of the tears off of his face before he read over the pages again. He traced his fingers over the pages and felt the places where Felix had cried himself. And on the last page of the entry, he found a song that he wrote for him. It warmed his aching heart.

“Do you remember all those winter nights,” he smiled. “Sitting by the fire. All those snowball fights.” He tried to sing. He wasn’t great at it, but it was enough for Felix to love. “Do you remember? I watched as you go. All I wanted to do was grow. With you.” He let out a small yawn. “Felix, please come home.” He said before falling asleep at his desk.

Felix could feel the chill of the air starting to set in. Winter was right around the corner. He spent many winters in Faerghus, and with what he was doing, he spent few winters in Old Alliance territory and they could never compare to the ones he grew up with. He was so close to being home, he was so close. His heart felt heavy with guilt when he realized he lied to Sylvain when he said he would be back home after one more job. It hurt worse when it was never just ‘one’ more job. One more turned into five more, then ten more, then twenty.

All those sleepless nights made him lose track of time. Fighting bandits made him lose sight of what he really wanted. Moving from inn to inn took a toll on his body. His life was wearing thin and it was starting to show. He needed to rest and feel the warmth and energy from the one he loved. But it was never going to happen. As long as there were bandits, thieves, any horrible person he had to cut down, he was never going to stop fighting. Even if he had lost sight of seeing Sylvain ever again, he always felt an inkling that he would see him again. He had his wedding ring and all of the love letters that were sent to him are with him. He faintly smiled as he walked to his next battle.

A decade or so have passed and countless love letters from each other, the two were finally set to reunite with one another. In Felix’s cold, almost dead heart, felt a flame burn bright. He knew he could go home anytime, but he felt less guilty going home when he was requested to. He would feel guiltiest if Sylvain didn’t scold him and let the matter drop. Truth was, he would rather that happen than have to face a long scolding from him. He would rather feel his fleeting warmth than face everlasting sorrow.

Felix held his left hand close to his mouth, kissing his wedding ring in joy. He felt a little warmer inside knowing that he wouldn’t be much longer before returning to Sylvain. He had one more mission he needed to complete beforehand, then he will be home. He couldn’t wait to be home. Maybe this time, he will stay and never leave.

When Sylvain received his love letter, he was instantly filled with love. He became increasingly excited the more he read and he jumped for joy when Felix stated he wouldn’t be much longer to return. His enthusiasm was starting to become overbearing for the people who were employed under him. It was one thing to gush over the letters, but it became unbearable when he would not shut up about Felix coming home. Most of everyone, especially his knights, would avoid in every instance they could. He paid no mind to it and talked off many ears of other people. Every day since he received the letter, and when he had downtime, he would wait by his front door so he could be the first person Felix could see when he returned. Always with a smile and always sing the song that his beloved wrote. The day he was said to arrive, Sylvain reread as many letters he had before falling asleep.

It was late at night when Felix arrived. He smiled as he walked through the estate trying to find his love. He found him in the first place he looked, sleeping in their room, at his desk. He grabbed him, carrying him to their bed. Felix covered him in the blankets, making sure he was comfortable, before grabbing some clothes so he could take a quick bath. He placed Sylvain’s head in his lap as he started to sing a familiar tune. He shifted around, moving his arms around his waist and placing his head on his chest. Good, his heart was still beating.

“You’re home earlier than expected,” Sylvain said in a low, groggy tone.

Felix snorted. “Yeah, and I’m happy to be home.”

Sylvain pulled him closer, holding him tight. Felix missed these quiet nights. Cuddling the man he loved, being embraced by him, feeling his warmth. It felt nice, relaxing...it felt right. Right where he belonged. And with Sylvain’s warmth, he was able to fall asleep. For the first time in forever, Felix was able to fall asleep instantly, it felt refreshing. It was the best night of sleep he had in a long while.

Unusual as it was, Sylvain was the first one to get up in the morning. His Little Blue Giggle usually was the first one up. He would be in the training grounds, leaving him in the dust, by now. It was a sight to behold watching Felix sleep. He was like a cat basking in the warmth of the sun. Sylvain leaned down to give a light kiss on Felix’s forehead only to wake him. That wasn’t something he wanted to do.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Sylvain said softly.

Felix grunted as he took a hold of his Little Ray of Sunshine.

He laughed. “You want more sleep, don’t you? Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” He started to lull him back to sleep.

No Gautier knight, no maid, no kitchen staff, no one saw the two of them for the rest of the day. The next few days everyone saw the two stick together, spending it together, whether it was for a date, training, or planning their next move dealing with an uprising near the Fodlan and Sreng borders. Always together, inseparable, like when they were children.

“Hello, My Love,” Sylvain said.

“Hello,” Felix smiled.

“Are you almost done repairing your sword?”

Felix moved a whetstone back and forth a couple of times before placing it next to him. He sheathed his sword and stood up to look at his husband. “I’m done.”

“Oh good!” Sylvain beamed.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m going to take you on a date!”

“Shouldn’t we focus on the matter at hand? The bandits.”

“I know you want to get this job done as soon as possible, but we are carrying out the plan in a couple of days.” Sylvain looked at Felix’s contorted face. “You agreed to this plan and it’s set in stone so you can’t change it.”

Felix grunted in irritation. He was right and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“Get changed! We are going into town. I’m going to surprise you!”

“Sylvain,” he sighed.

“I know, I know, you don’t like surprises. Trust me on this. You’ll love it!”

Felix let out a faint smile before giving Sylvain a kiss on his lips. It didn’t take long before him to change and meet back up with his husband. The two of them rode far into town, where a sports fest was being held. It brought back memories to Felix. When they were children, he, Sylvain, Ingrid, and Dimitri would come to these every year. Only if the other two were here, but it was only Felix and Sylvain. Felix both loved being here and he hated it. The warm memories that were covered in bloodstained hands filled his head.

Sylvain hugged Felix from behind and started to sway him back and forth. “There is nothing we could have done to save them.”

Felix breathed out. “I feel as though I could have done something.”

“So could I, but you know as well as me, you can’t bring back the dead. It’s what you’ve constantly said to everyone, especially your father.” Sylvain said. There was nothing he could say to wash away their regrets. “Live on. It’s the only thing you can do for them. That’s the best you can do.”

“Yeah.”

“Now come on, let’s enjoy today.”

Felix followed Sylvain to the horse races. Sylvain laughed loud when his husband couldn’t get on a horse. He could tell it’s been awhile since he rode one by himself. He laughed, even more, when Felix became frustrated with the help he had received getting a top of the horse. In every race, they competed against each other and everyone who participated, Sylvain would always win. After the horse races, and for the rest of the day, they walked around town watching greyhound races, show jumping, hurling, everything that they used to participate in when they were children.

Sylvain stopped by a vendor, buying something for Felix. “Here,” he said, handing him a gift.

“A journal?” Felix questioned.

“Yeah. I’ve been with you long enough to know you’re better at expressing yourself on paper. I thought I would get a journal to write them all out, especially words you don’t want anybody but me to hear.”

Felix smiled, giving him a kiss. “Thank you.”

Sylvain took a deep breath. He wanted to ask one question he knew that Felix didn’t want to answer, but he had to know. “Felix, after this, will you stay?”

He sighed. He knew this discussion was going to come eventually, though he knew that he couldn’t avoid it forever. “I will,” he replied after a few seconds of silence. “I will stay after this mission,” he said in confidence.

Sylvain’s frown flipped into a smile that was warmer and kinder than the sun’s ever will be. He picked up Felix twirling him around. He heard his irritation and placed back on the ground.

“With a smile like that, I can’t stay mad at you,” he sighed.

His smile only grew bigger.

“Hahaha, your face looks so stupid,” he laughed.

Sylvain started to laugh which prompted Felix to laugh even more. He stopped to watch the man he loved laugh uncontrollably. It had been so long since Sylvain had seen him laugh like this. Maybe thirty or so years since he has seen this sight without someone getting seriously injured. It was a fantastic sight to see. When Felix caught his breath, Sylvain pulled him close to give him a kiss. Neither Felix nor Sylvain stopped kissing each other, and when it was time for them to stop, no more words were spoken.

They rode back home in silence. They ate in silence. Bathed in silence. The only sounds that were made were when they were in bed where Sylvain hummed Felix to sleep. He cuddled and held him close. He was cold, he always had been, but he wouldn’t change it.

After a couple of days of preparations, Sylvain, Felix, and a few of the Gautier knights headed to the border near Sreng. There were plenty of bandits there, but there wasn’t enough to overwhelm any of them. Most of the day was spent putting an end to the bandit group. Felix, Sylvain, and the knights lived, only getting nicks and bruises. Nothing too serious. That night everyone headed back home. With a few hours left to spare before going to bed, Felix headed to the training grounds to train.

“Always training,” Sylvain said. “That’s never changed.”

“No. It never will.”

“I’m worried that you might die training,” he said, placing his hands on his sword arm.

“Heh, maybe so. At least it’ll be here with you.”

Sylvain smiled. “Do you remember…”

“Our promise? How could I not? I remember our childhood well.”

“And it…”

“It was also in our vows. Sylvain, I’m not leaving. Not unless I have to. Even if I were to leave, I will come back.” Felix smiled, giving him a kiss of reassurance.

Sylvain’s heart felt warm and full. He knew Felix was telling the truth, even if a part of him knew that he was going to leave soon. And if he was going from place to place again, he knew Felix would send him letters, journals worth of love. He knew he was going to be in his heart. Sylvain took hold of Felix’s face and started to kiss him all over.

“Hahaha, Sylvain, stop,” he laughed.

“No,” he kissed some more.

“Sylvain!”

“One more,” he said, kissing his lips.

“Since you won’t leave me alone, you can train with me, you fool.”

“Fine, fine.”

Sylvain grabbed his lance and sparred with Felix for a few hours before they took a bath and went to bed. Only if they could have more days like these. More days like Felix returning home, days like the date they had, more days sparring with each other. They could only wish. The next day, one of the royal knights came to ask for help from Sylvain and Felix.

“Margrave, Felix, I have to ask you something important on behalf of Their Majesties,” the knight said.

“What is it,” Sylvain asked.

“Both Noble Byleth and King Claude said you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Spit it out,” Felix demanded.

“S-Sorry! They want your help to squash the rest of the TWISTED! They have been causing trouble again! They’ve been acting like bandits, pillaging, stealing, killing, and kidnapping people! Please, we ask for your assistance!”

Felix breathed in and exhaled. He knew that he had to leave. He couldn’t let this happen. Sylvain looked over to his husband and saw the determination on his face. He knew he was going to leave and there was nothing he could do to stop him. But he had to at least try to.

“I’ll go,” Felix responded.

“Felix!”

“I have to.”

The knight nodded, and by the looks of it, they knew Sylvain wasn’t going to help. They waited by the door for Felix when he was ready.

Sylvain followed Felix throughout the house. “Felix wait!” No matter what he did, he was always chasing after him. “Please wait!”

“What,” he asked, grabbing a few knives and his sword.

“You can’t leave!” Sylvain grabbed his weapons, only stalling him for a few seconds. “Felix please, you don’t have to go.” He sighed as he looked at him grabbing his weapons again.

Felix rummaged around their desks, looking for his journal. “And what, let these people run around and keep kidnapping people, destroying their lives and properties?” He found his journal, placing it in the satchel that was on his hips.

“Their Majesties said we don’t have to help them if we don’t want to!”

Felix looked Sylvain dead in the eyes. Both of them were about to cry. “Don’t you remember what happened to Flayn? I can’t allow them to do it again. I can’t just let them go.” He then walked off, making his way back to the knight.

“They have other capable fighters!” He yelled. “Like Shamir, Hilda, and Lysithea!”

Felix knows that and he knows that everyone is strong, but maybe, just maybe with his strength, it’ll be enough to end everything.

“Felix wait!” Sylvain ran after him. “Please!” He watched as Felix and the knight walked out into the pouring rain. With one last-ditch effort, he ran after him. He grabbed his arm and turned him around. “Please stay with me,” he pleaded.

“Don’t you dare cry!” Felix saw Sylvain’s tears roll down his cheek as he felt the cold rain hit their faces. It only led him to do the same thing. “You can come with me.”

“You know I can’t. I have to protect my territory...our territory,” he said, pulling Felix in for a kiss.

Feeling his soft, caring lips, and feeling his warm breath against his own, Felix repeatedly pressed his lips against Sylvain’s, not giving him any room to breathe. Deep down in their hearts, in their souls, they knew this would be their last kiss for this lifetime that they spent together. Sylvain could only watch as his Little Blue Giggle walked with the knight disappearing into the heavy rain. He constantly reassured himself that he would come back. He knew that he would come back...one day.

Felix met up with Byleth and Claude, getting the rundown of what was going on. He looked over their plans on how to finally defeat these bastards. It was going to be a long arduous battle, almost like he was going to fight in another war. After every squabble, after every battle, after every council meeting, Felix could feel his heart becoming colder and colder. The only solace, the only warmth that he found was sending love letters to Sylvain, writing words of love and hatred he felt in the journal his beloved gave to him.

All the happy memories that he had, all the sad memories that he had, filled his head. They were slowly becoming dark and all the bloodstained faces, all the bloodstained hands, all the bloodstained swords were filling his blank mind. He knew that he didn’t deserve those memories, he only deserved to see the blood of the people he cut down and only see their faces. He was becoming more and more like Dimitri.

From one fight to the next, it became harder and harder to win. Everyone knew this would happen. Felix especially knew that, and even though he was losing sight of Sylvain, he would still be cautious when fighting. The promise he had was slowly slipping out of his hands and no matter how much it seeped out of his bloodstained hands, he would always try to catch it. No one was going to take it away from him.

This particular fight, it would cost him everything. He foolishly left himself open for someone to attack him. Felix placed his hand on his chest, feeling the blood flow down his body. Everything started to look blurry as he looked at his hand. He spit out blood as he collapsed to the ground, lying in a pool of his own blood.

“Syl...Sylvain...I’m sorry.” He muttered out as the salt of his tears filled his eyes before everything became black and he drew his last breath.

Years upon years have passed since Sylvain had seen Felix. His heart was warm when he received letters and the journal that Felix had sent him. But his heart also felt knives of pain when he read that his beloved was suffering when he was away. Sylvain never regretted his decisions, but not being able to be near Felix, whether it was to convince him to stay, or have the courage to go with him, was the only one that he had. He would wait for him everyday by his front door in hopes that he would return. He watched many springs, many summers, many winters go by before he never returned. Sylvain, foolishly, believed that his beloved would return home to him, even in his old age. In the distance, he saw people he had never seen before. Maybe his beloved Felix was amongst them, but that was not the case.

“Lord Sylvain,” one of the knights said. “We have a sword here for you.”

Sylvain shakingly held out his arms to receive the weapon and unwrap it. The hilt was gold and the blade itself was straight. It also had the Crest of Fraldarius on it. It could only mean that it was Felix’s.

“Oh, Felix,” Sylvain said shakenly as tears poured down his cheeks.

“We are sorry, sir.”

“It’s quite alright. I knew this was going to happen.”

Sylvain turned around, walked through the house, to the backyard. He stood before a tree with flowers growing near it. He placed the sword in the flowers before sitting under the tree.

“Do you remember all those winter nights,” he sang, shakily and low as he felt the cool summer breeze. “Sitting by the fire. All those snowball fights. Do you remember? All I did was watch you go,” he last breathed.

Felix woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare that had been recurring. Because of these nightmares, he would wake up in the middle of the night and he would get very little sleep, if any sleep at all. He had dreams of times where he was in a war, or he was a child playing with his friends, or relaxing under a tree after a long training session. And in every dream, there was this one boy he always hung out with. He was a couple of years older than him, taller than he was, had red hair and brown eyes. He could see him, hear him so vividly, but he never knew his name. He would play with him on summer days, playing in cool waters, training with each other in a field. And every time that Felix would wake up from these dreams, these nightmares, his heart always felt heavy, it always hurt, it always ached for those days to come back.

He sat up, taking a hold of his clock, it was three in the morning. He sighed, knowing that he wasn’t going back to sleep. Felix got out of bed, walking to the kitchen to find his brother, Glenn, on his laptop doing who knows what. Ignoring him, he put some leftovers into the microwave. Once it was done, he sat on the countertop and ate his food while he tried to decipher all the nightmares and dreams that he had. What could they possibly mean?

“Why are you up,” Glenn asked, finally realizing that Felix was in the room.

“Took you long enough,” he mocked.

“Oh sorry that I’m studying real hard to pass a bar exam and told my little brother that I wouldn’t have time for him for the next couple of weeks,” he said sarcastically.

“Ha-ha.”

“Anyway, nightmares again?”

“Yup.”

“Did you get any new ones?”

“Nope.”

“There are a bunch of letters and journals in the attic. It might help.”

“What? Why do we have letters and journals in the attic?”

“Beats me. Read the information, maybe it’ll give you the answers that you’re looking for.”

“Stop patronizing me.”

Glenn smirked as he watched his brother wald out of the kitchen. “Hehhehe, maybe I should have not told him to go to the attic until the morning. This is going to be fun in the morning.”

Felix grabbed his phone from his room and made his way upstairs. He pulled on the string to pull down the ladder. He freaked out a little when the ladder made a loud creaking sound. He looked around and let out a sigh of relief, no one was woken up. He turned on his phones’ flashlight as he walked up to the attic. It was filled with boxes of letters and journals. Felix didn’t know where to start, there were so many boxes. Why do they even have these?

He started with the box closest to him. As he slowly started to read, he slowly started to feel his heart become heavy. It felt as though his heart ripped apart. It felt like these letters were meant for him and it only hurt him more when he couldn’t figure out who wrote them. He couldn’t remember who, but he can remember the warmth, the happiness, and the love that was put into the letters. Every last one of the letters he read were like knives to his heart. And with every letter that he read, he felt like he was stabbing the person in their heart. It all felt terrible.

The next morning, Rodrigue walked out of his room only to be confused as to why the ladder to the attic was down. He walked up the steps to find his youngest child asleep on the ground covered with paper. He sighed in irritation as he picked his son up. He placed him back in his room where he could rest properly. It was one in the afternoon by the time Felix truly woke up. He yawned as he walked out of his room and back to the kitchen. He heard his father scold him and his brother passed out at the table, nothing new. He grabbed a plate of food that his mother made, and walked back to the attic.

Before he fell asleep at the end of the night, he read a fourth of letters. He couldn’t believe there were so many love letters and he wanted to read all of them. Felix spent the next day feeling his heart be torn into pieces. He stopped reading, his heart couldn’t take much more. He put all the letters that he read, back into the boxes, labeling them, and placing them in a corner of the attic so he knew that he already read them. As he shifted around, a couple of journals and books fell to the ground along with a gold wedding ring. Felix inspected it, finding that it was engraved with the words “Little Blue Giggle.” No one called him that but his family. He left the attic, hunting down Rodrigue.

“Dad, why do you have a wedding ring with my nickname on it,” Felix asked irritably.

“I don’t know,” he replied.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“It was something my mother gave me. She said something about it being a family heirloom.”

“Why didn’t you give it to mom?”

“I wanted to give her a ring from my heart and it didn’t feel right giving her this one. When I look at it, the ring feels like it was given from someone who promised someone they would return but never did.”

Felix became confused by the last of his father’s words. They felt all too familiar. He foggily remembers telling someone he would return only to lie about it.

“I have no need for it. You can keep it if you want.”

“Thanks,” he said softly.

Felix placed the ring on one of his fingers. He walked back to his room and laid down on his bed. He stared at his hand. “It didn’t feel right” rang through his ears. It felt right when he wore it. Now he just needs to know who gave it to him. He soon started to sing a song that he would hear in his sleep. While singing it, he was able to sing himself to sleep and within his dream, he saw a man stand before him, promising him something. He was smiling and crying tears of joy. Felix could hear himself promising the same thing the man had said to him and promising that they would be at each others’ sides until the day they die. Everything about this dream was happy and warm. It was pleasant.

Felix woke up the next morning well rested for the first time in forever. Maybe he will get more sleep when he goes back to college. He started to pack his clothes, his books, his notebooks, and everything else he needed. When he was done, he walked up to the attic, grabbing a couple of boxes to take with him. He spent all day preparing for his drive back to campus. The next couple of days, he spent all day traveling and unpacking. Felix came back a day early so he spent the day reading some of the letters. He felt embarrassed reading them, how could someone be so mushy?

The next day, classes resumed and people filled the campus buildings. While walking through the hallways, Sylvain saw a certain man with blue hair and golden-brown eyes. Even if their eyes only met for a second, it felt like he has known him his whole life. He could start to feel his heart swell with pain while his eyes started to swell with tears. He wiped his tears away before he entered his classroom. It felt very odd, who was that man? Maybe if he got closer to him, he would know. Sylvain smiled and thought it would be a good idea to try to befriend him.

When classes were all done for the day, it was late and he went back to his dorm room to rest. He didn’t want to do much, not even go on a date with a pretty lady. Not that he could, though, his “girlfriend” dumped him over text because she found out that he “cheated” on him. He didn’t, he was just hanging out with Ingrid. He let out an irritated sigh, there was nothing he could have done about it. Sylvain looked over at his desk, seeing the book he brought with him. It was old and worn down by time. He placed his finger under the pages, where he left his bookmark, and opened the book. He took his time as he read through the book, feeling the love and warmth from the person who wrote it and left behind. Sylvain came across a letter where the paper was a bit more distorted than the rest. As he felt the pages, where tears once fell, he felt the pain and anguish, of not only the writers’ but an old pain he once knew.

With his pained heart, and the tears in his eyes, Sylvain fell asleep, he once again cried himself asleep. In his dreams, he saw a country blanketed with heavy, glimmering snow. He saw little children playing together, having a snowball fight. He could hear one child calling out to him to come play with him. He had dark blue hair and golden-brown eyes. Sylvain called out to him in return, rushing over to him to join the fun. After all the fun, him and the blue haired boy snuggled up in a blanket, sitting by a fire. It was warm, calming, but it was quickly burned by the ravages of war. Sylvain tossed and turned in his sleep, slicing down enemies, seeing their blood and when he fought alongside the man he loved only to lose him after the war. He felt the pain as he waited for the man he loved to come home.

Sylvain woke up the next morning in a cold sweat and a heavy chest. He took a few moments to let out a few tears. He wanted those days of playing in the snow with the man he could barely remember. After he composed himself, he looked at his clock, realizing that he missed a class and he didn’t care much about attending his other classes. He yawned and stretched before he got cleaned up before going to get some lunch. Sylvain sat at a table, by himself, and ate a fish sandwich as he reminisced about the nightmares that he had. He thought about the man in his dream only to look up and see him a few feet away. His heart felt heavy.

For the next couple of weeks, he kept having nightmares of him and that man in war time. It became worse when Sylvain asked for more of those journals and letters from his father. His heart ripped into pieces when he received a gold wedding ring that was engraved with “Little Ray of Sunshine” on it. When he looked at the ring, he instantly remembered his wedding day in a past life. He was dressed in a black suit, standing in front of the blue haired man. Their hands were held together in braided chords, promising each other to be together forever. He put the ring away to hide the pain of remembering the memories of always waiting for the man he could barely remember to come home. He couldn’t even remember his love’s name.

Sylvain walked off campus to get himself some lunch and while he ate by himself, he saw a couple of classmates walk into the building. It was Dimitri and the man in his dreams. His heart sank as Dimitri passed a glance over to him, giving him a small wave. After the two ordered their food, and against Felix’s protests, the two sat with Sylvain. Sylvain and Felix could feel their hearts break.

“Hello, Sylvain,” Dimitri greeted with a smile.

“What’s up,” Sylvain asked.

“Do you mind if me and Felix sit with you?”

“Fe...lix,” he softly said as tears rolled down his face.

Dimitri became confused when he saw his friend start to cry. He turned to Felix and saw that his head was turned away so neither of them could see his own tears. Dimitri had no idea what was going on. They sat in silence as they ate their food before walking back to campus in silence.

“W-Well,” Dimitri said nervously. “I should get going. I will see you both later.”

“Wait! What about the notes?!” Sylvain asked.

He turned around, yelling “I will give them to you later,” before hastily walking away.

Sylvain sighed, not knowing what to do, he walked away.

“Where are you going,” Felix asked.

“To my dorm room. Being near you hurts my heart.”

Felix felt his heart shatter as he watched him walk away. It didn’t feel good when he watched him leave. It felt like he was losing someone he loved. He sighed, who was he kidding he lost him before and it was all his fault.

The next couple of months, the two barely talked to each other. They only interacted with each other when they were with their mutual friends. And within the next couple of months, their dreams, their nightmares were only filled with one another. Soon, their dreams, their nightmares became clearer and clearer. They were memories of a past lifetime they once shared together.

After everything, it only made Felix avoid Sylvain even more. At every chance they got to be with each other, Felix refused to be around Sylvain. It only added to their pain. Many nights Felix wondered if he deserved to be near Sylvain. Many nights he wondered if he would ever forgive him for never returning. Many nights he wondered why he still cared. Many days Sylvain tried to be near Felix to get answers. Many days Sylvain spent thinking what he could to get Felix to notice him. Many days Sylvain spent wondering if he loved him. One day, Felix didn’t have much of a choice to face his feelings. It was thanks to a couple of their friends shoving Felix into Sylvain’s room and leaving him there.

Sylvain let out a sorrowful sigh, feeling tears welling in his eyes. “Why won’t you talk to me.”

“I left you many times, hurting you each time,” Felix replied, crying himself. “Do you really think I deserve to be with you?”

“Felix,” he said softly, tenderly placing his hand on his cheek. “I’ve waited many lifetimes for you. We were born again so we could be together,” he said, finally crying. “After all the hell we went through, after all we went through,” he choked, “our will to be together brought us back so we deserve to be at each other's sides.”

With every word he spoke, Felix could tell Sylvain was wearing his heart on his sleeve. With his words, his tears dripped onto Sylvain’s hand. He pulled it closer to his lips, gently kissing his hand. His lips were soft and tender as he felt it against his skin. Sylvain pulled Felix closer, giving him a kiss before any of his doubts took control of him again. At the end of the night, Sylvain’s head was on Felix’s lap and Felix was fidgeting with his hair.

“Felix,” Sylvain said softly.

“Hm,” he replied.

“Can you sing me your song?”

“It’s our song.”

Sylvain chuckled. “Can you sing all of it?”

Felix smiled. “Do you remember all those winter nights, sitting by the fire?~ All those snowball fights?~ Do you remember?~ I watched as you go!~ All I wanted to do was grow,” he sang. He let out a breath. “With you!~” He looked down at Sylvain to see his smile. “Do you remember all those summer days outside in the waters,” he sang as Sylvain around.

He moved his arms around his waist, placing his head on his chest to feel the vibrations of his song and to listen to his heartbeat.

“We would play,” he paused to breathe, “for hours. Do you remember?~” Felix’s voice became a little lower and softer. “Was it something I said?~ Was there something I could’ve said?~ I want you near me!~”

He stopped singing when he thought Sylvain fell asleep.

“Why did you stop,” he smiled.

He smiled softly. “I love your eyes!~ I love your smile!~ I love your laugh!~ Please don’t go,” he sang again. He took one last breath before he sang the last bit of the song. “Do you remember those spring evenings?~ Riding horses, picking red roses!~ Do those have meaning?~ I will let you go!~ I love you!~”

Sylvain’s heart filled with warmth when he finished the song. Their song.

“Hey Felix?”

“Yes?”

“Will you marry me?”

“Sylvain,” he said, letting out an irritated sigh.

“What?” He chuckled.

“We haven’t dated in this lifetime.”

“You are going to make me wait even more?”

“You won’t be since we are together.”

“Hehehe, true. Fine, we’ll date some more before we tie the knot.”

“Thank you,” Felix said, giving him a kiss on his forehead.

Many months later and many dates later, the two were constantly making wedding arrangements, making sure everything for their big day was perfect. Their wedding day was a nice, cool, and a fresh day after an early morning rain. The leaves have changed from bright green to bright red, yellow, brown and burnt orange as they littered both sky and earth. Every guest followed a path of grass, lavenders, and leaves to the altar where they were led to a field. Chairs were set up on the sides to leave an aisle for the grooms to walk down with a tree, with lights on it, used as an altar.

Before the wedding, the two shook off last minute jitters. So long they have waited to spend every minute together. So long they have waited to finally be together and not have to worry about waiting. With the last of the preparations complete, their ceremony started. Everyone stood up when both grooms walked down the aisle and when the music started to play. Sylvain smiled joyously when he saw Felix stand a few inches from him looking dashing in his navy blue suit. Felix did the same when he saw his beloved look stunning in a boysenberry suit.

“Dearly beloved,” Rodrigue said looking over to his son, giving him a smile. “Nothing brings me more joy to wed my son to the man he loves. Love is always everlasting and spans over many lifetimes, reaching to everyone, including these two.” Rodrigue smiled, looking over to his wife and his son Glenn. “Relationships are everlasting and bound by love. To be together means to love one another, to grow with one another, to face every hardship and to spend every moment of happiness together. Now please join hands.”

While Sylvain and Felix held each other’s hands, Rodrigue took out braided cords.

“In your vows, you said you will grow with each other, to feel each other’s pain and happiness, and the most important vow that you had was to die together,” Rodrigue said wrapping a cord around their hands for each vow that they had. “Was there anything either of you would like to say?”

“Sylvain,” Felix said softly, smiling at him, “I love you with my whole heart. I want to be by your side, to love you, to hold you, to care for you. I want to grow old with you and to die with you. You are my love, you are my home. I will stand by you for every lifetime we spend together.”

Sylvain cried tears of joy hearing his heart.

“Sylvain, would you like to say something to him?”

“Yes,” he smiled. “Felix, no matter what you put me through, no matter the pain, no matter the happiness, no matter where you go, I will forever be at your side. I love you with every inch of my body. I will die by your side.”

“Felix Hugo Fraldarius, do you take Sylvain Jose Gautier as your husband?”

“I do,” he smiled and blushed.

“And Sylvain Jose Gautier, do you take Felix Hugo Fraldarius as your husband?”

“I do,” Sylvain cried more tears of joy.

“Then you may kiss your husband.”

Sylvain and Felix kissed each other. They took a few steps away from each other, making their cords into a knot before they put on their engraved golden wedding rings. Everyone stood up, cheered and clapped as the two walked, hand-in-hand, down the aisle, walking into the nice autumn scenery.

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I got to participate in the Sylvix Big Bang with @radeeum and I really enjoyed participating in this bang with them! It was really fun and they drew some really lovely and amazing art for this! Also, the lovel @ava-artist14 on tumblr beta read this for me!

#my writing #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #sylvix #sylvixbigbang2020 #felix hugo fraldarius #sylvain jose gautier

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