#have lost count of the number of times i've seen 'well THAT study may have said most trans kids persist but it MUST be wrong' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keelanrosa · 15 days

Text

terfs when a study shows literally anything positive about trans people/transitioning: 'hm i think this requires some fact-checking. Were those researchers REALLY unbiased? Because if they were biased this doesn't count and if they weren't knowingly biased they probably were unconsciously biased, woke media affects so much these days. Have there been any other studies on this? Because if there haven't been this could be an outlier and if there have been and they all agree that's a bit odd, why aren't there any outliers, and if there have been and any disagree we really won't know the truth until we very thoroughly analyze them all, will we? Were there enough subjects for a good sample size? Did every single subject involved stay involved through the whole study because if they didn't we should be sure nothing shady was going on resulting in people dropping out. Are we 110% sure all the subjects were fully honest and at no point were embarrassed or afraid to admit they didn't love transitioning to the people in charge of their transition? Are we 110% sure none of the subjects were manipulated into thinking they were happy with their transition? In fact we should double-check what they think with their parents, because if the subjects and their parents disagree it's probably because they've been manipulated but their cis parents have not and are very unbiased. How many autistic subjects were there because if there weren't enough then this doesn't really study the overlap between autistic and trans and if there were too many then we just don't know enough about what causes that overlap to be sure this study really explains being trans and isn't just about being autistic. How many AFAB subjects were there because if there weren't enough this is just another example of prioritizing AMAB people and ignoring the different struggles of girls and women and if there were too many how do we know sexism didn't affect the results. Was the study double-blinded? We all know double-blinded is the most reliable so if this one wasn't that's a point against it even if the thesis literally physically could not be double-blinded. Look i'm not being transphobic, i want what's best for trans people! Really! But as a person who is not trans and therefore objective in a way they cannot possibly be, i just think we should only take into account Good Science here. You want to be following science and not being manipulated or experimented upon by something unscientific, right?'

terfs when they see a study of 45 subjects so old it predates modern criteria for gender dysphoria and basically uses 'idk her parents think she's too butch', run by a guy who practiced conversion therapy, 'confirmed' by a guy who treated the significant portion of subjects who didn't follow up as all desisting, definitely in the category of 'physically cannot double-blind this', completely contradicted by multiple other studies done on actual transgender subjects, but can be kinda cited as evidence against transitioning if you ignore everything else about it: 'oOOH SEE THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKIN BOUT. SCIENCE. Just good ol' unbiased thorough analysis. I see absolutely no reason to dig any deeper on this and if you think it's wrong you're the one being unscientific. It's really a shame you've been so thoroughly brainwashed by the trans agenda and can't even accept science when you see it. Maybe now that someone has finally uncovered this long-lost study from 1985, we can make some actual progress on the whole trans problem.'

#science #transphobia #cass review #less 'cass review' generally more 'zucker specifically' because this same problem exists outside cass #have lost count of the number of times i've seen 'well THAT study may have said most trans kids persist but it MUST be wrong'#'there's another study says the exact opposite. that one's right. obviously.'#but cass is why i'm annoyed by it now #normally i don't have a problem with critical observations and questions. yeah check your science! that's good!#there have been some bullshit studies and some bullshit interpretations of good studies! scientific literacy is important!#and normally also am willing to pretend the people pulling reaction 1 on some studies and reaction 2 on others are. not the same group.#but now there's a ton of cass supporters tryna say 'oh the cass review didn't reject or downplay anything for being pro-trans!'#'some studies just weren't given much weight for being poor evidence! not our fault those were all studies with results trans people like!'#…….………….aight explain why zucker's findings are used for the 'percentage of trans kids who don't stay trans' stat instead of anyone else's.#would've been more scientifically accurate to say 'yeah we just don't know.'#'studies have been done but none of them fit our crack criteria sooooo *shrug*'#like COME ON at least PRETEND you're genuinely checking scientific correctness and not looking for excuses to weed out undesirable results #am also mad about zucker in particular because his is possibly the most famous bullshit study #quite bluntly if you're doing trans research and think 'yeah this one seems reasonable' you. are maybe not well-informed enough for the job #there's just no way you genuinely look at the research with an eye toward accurate science regardless of personal bias #and walk away thinking 'hm that zucker fellow seems reasonable. competent scientists will respect that citation.'#that's one or two steps above doing a review of vaccine science and seriously citing wakefield's mmr-causes-autism study #it doesn't matter what the rest of your review says people are gonna have OPINIONS on that bit #and outside anti-vaxxers most of those opinions will be 'are you actually the most qualified for this because ummmm.'#people who agree with everything else will still think someone more competent could've done a much better job #people who disagree with everything else will point to that as proof you don't know shit and why should we listen to you #anyway i'd love a hugeass trans science review with actual fucking standards hmu if you know of one cause this ain't it #……does tumblr still put a limit on how many tags you can include guess me and my tag essay are about to find out.

5 notes · View notes

chloeisntstudying · 2 years

Text

reflections from the first half of semester one of university

promised y'all a post about university and how I'm coping, so here it is! i'm halfway through my first semester in nanyang technological university, majoring in history. here's a few things that i think would be helpful to any freshmen, regardless of university or major :)

you WILL get lost.

okay, so maybe i got lost way more than others because i'm the worst at directions. but even the best at directions will get lost in the first few weeks of university, cause it's such a new environment and the campus is huge. even professors have confessed to getting lost and taking the wrong buses in their first semester!

what i did to mitigate this was to visit campus before my first week of lessons, and found all of my lecture/tutorial venues. i also used the time to map out the routes i would take between back-to-back classes. i still got lost during my first two weeks cause walking around an empty campus is very different from navigating a crowded campus with the nerves of getting to class on time... but it ultimately did help me ease some of my anxiety and allowed me to find my way a little faster :)

2. don't expect to make friends effortlessly.

in high school, we had homerooms, and the people you take classes with are usually the same. as time passes, you become friends with them just by spending so much time around them.

however, in university, you meet different people in every single class, and there's no homeroom or common group of people to fall back on. this means that if you don't make an effort to talk to people and socialise, then you can expect some acquaintances but little friends.

it's week 7, and i can count the number of acquaintances i have on my fingers. i don't live on campus and i didn't go for orientation, so that's on me, but even in class many people already have their own cliques. it seems like lots of people go to university with friends from high school, and people tend to stick with those that they already know. i ended up sitting with people who are also navigating university without a prior group of friends, and we formed a group for tutorial discussions and groupwork out of necessity. but as a bunch of introverts, we haven't really talked or hung out outside of class, so we're not really friends at all. I'm comfortable with being alone, but if there's something to be learnt from my experience, it's that making friends in university takes real time and effort from both parties.

3. it's okay to do things alone.

i know the typical university life in the media shows you that you have to be in a group of friends and go around like a flock of birds together, or else you'll be seen as a loser or something. but you know what? nobody really cares.

sure, it's nice to have friends. but if you actually prefer doing things alone, that's fine too. i've been going around university alone, attending classes alone, studying alone and eating alone, and nobody has given me a second glance. we're all too busy to care, and many people do go around by themselves too. so don't feel pressured to fit into a clique if you don't want to.

4. find a routine and stick to it for better time management.

university gives you lots of freedom. nobody cares whether you attend classes or not. you're likely to have lots of time before and after classes. heck, you might not even have classes on certain days if you arrange your timetable well.

this lack of structure may lead you to feel lost, especially if you're used to running on a strict timetable in high school. personally, i created my own timetable for myself where i marked out my classes, the timings i would use to do coursework, what time I'll commute to and from campus, and any other things i have to do. this helps me to create a routine, and if i stick to it, it's easy to find time for everything you need to do. but if i do things based on what i feel like doing, i end up rushing my work just before the deadline cause i spent too much time on unimportant things.

5. mark down all your deadlines from the syllabus and plan ahead.

once you get your syllabus documents, find all your assignment deadlines and mark it down on your calendar/planner. this really helps you to plan out when you need to start certain assignments, and generally shows you when your 'hell weeks' are so that you can plan around them. planning ahead is key to not getting overwhelmed, because things will go from 0 to 100 real quick!

that's about all i have for y'all so far! maybe I'll do an update when the semester ends in November :) all the best to my fellow freshies, and to the juniors taking their GCSEs soon!

#chloeisntstudying #university is tough but so are you!#university #chloe talks #tips #nanyang technological university #freshman year

1 note · View note

kooktaebear · 3 years

Text

If Only I Knew

Status: ONGOING (this is my first AU AHHH I’m excited to write the next couple of parts, but I hope this story gets a lot of love :~>)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Y/N abruptly moved to Seoul after spending 21 years living alone in her hometown, Busan after the death of her parents. She now discovers through her best friends that drama can be a lot to handle, but as she starts to meet new people, she discovers that she had completely forgotten an important part of her past.

Warnings: mention of guns, blood and violence,

Genre: angst, WHOLE LOT OF FLUFF, slow burn

Word Count: 3.2k

Part One:

I step out of the bus and a gust of cold wind hits my face as I board the train. Why did I think of not wearing enough layers in the middle of winter? I take my seat and look out the window to see the number of people who are about to board the train. I grab my phone and start listening to ILYSB. I like LANY, their music is perfect for travel.

I know this isn't such an interesting event in my life since I know that many other people have flown to see Seoul, capital of Korea but hey, give me a break. I’m finally going to meet my best friends after living alone for 4 years. This is what pays to be travelling, a provincial girl like me? I doubt I would ever survive the city life.

As a 2 hours pass, I wake up to hear the advisory that I’m about to reach Seoul.

I look out the window, close my eyes, and whisper.

"Mom, Dad, I made it to Seoul."

I lost both my parents during a hostage that happened in our own home. My mom happened to answer the door and was shot first. The culprit saw me and asked me to go get my dad. At first I was confused, but it so happened that there was an issue with the family business and this guy was after the money. I was 13 at that time but I still couldn't figure out why something like this had to happen to our family. However, as soon as my dad had agreed to the terms of the killer, he pointed his gun at me and pulled the trigger. I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the pain that comes next but instead, I felt warm liquid on my hands and felt something heavy fall on me, it was my dad. I screamed at the sight of both my parents suddenly vanishing from this world, a sudden pain struck my chest and I couldn't breathe. I fall to the ground slowly losing my vision as I see the blue and red lights of police cars approaching my house.

"Miss? Are you okay miss?" the person right next to me calls my attention and brings me back to reality, "Oh, yes I'm fine. Have we arrived?" I look around to see almost everyone out of the train. "Would you need any help getting off? Are you new to the city?" the lady asks me. I shake my head and give her a smile as I head down the aisle to the exit.

I follow the rest of the passengers to exit the station as I turn my phone on to contact Jennie and Lisa, my two best friends. Their parents had offered to get us three an apartment we could all share just so that they could both keep me company. Lisa and Jennie aren't sisters if you were wondering, they just had agreed to live under one roof with me and I'm eternally grateful for that. Not to mention they’re idol trainees.

"Y/N?" I turn my head to see Lisa's straight black hair, "Lisa!!!" We both jump around and giggle, "Wait but where's Jennie?" "Oh, she's getting us another cab because your arrival got delayed." She helps grab my luggage and we both start catching up with each other, as if we’ve never spoken in weeks. This was the first time I had ever seen both Lisa and Jennie in person, all our moms were best friends when they were younger too but since we couldn't visit them often, we met and talked through video calls.

"Well if it isn't our beautiful foreign friend Y/N." I turn around and meet Jennie’s eyes, "JENNIE!!!" I run to hug her and Lisa joins in and I finally don't feel alone anymore. "Girls, the cab is waiting outside, we better hurry." On our way to our new apartment we were all catching up with each other as if we really didn't talk as much already. "Oh hey, Y/N you have to make sure that you're ready to go to school by 7am okay?" Jennie cheerfully said. I was so confused, school started at 8am so why would I have to be ready an hour before school when our place was literally like 10 minutes away. "Wait why do we have to be ready an hour before school? I know our place is like 15 minutes away from school. It's not like you guys take that long to fix yourselves up right?" Lisa and Jennie smiled at me suspiciously, "Well....Y/N you know, you may not know everything about us yet..." "What's there not to know? I've known you guys since the moment I was able to talk." Lisa elbowed me softly, "We’ve got new friends! Like actual men type of friends." My eyes opened wide despite the tiredness I've been experiencing,

How could these two end up befriending guys and just suddenly "forgetting" to tell me about it when they know and are fully aware that we all don’t normally interact with the opposite gender?

"Fine, I'll be ready by 7am on Monday." I say as I roll my eyes, "YAYYY I'M SO EXCITEDDD!!!" both of them scream.

Ugh, 30 minutes have just passed since I arrived in Seoul and I'm already experiencing stress.

As soon as we got off the cab, both my friends had rushed to bring down all my belongings so that I could finally take a look at the place we rented out. Jennie reaches her hand out to me and in her palm, my key to our place. "Hey, have you guys figured out how we'll be getting to school on Monday?" Jennie giggles, "Y/N, you’re lucky we attend the same school. But the guys will pick us up! Plus..they promised to bring Jungkook." Jennie winks at me and flashes me her brightest smile.

Jungkook? I know I've heard that name somewhere, but I just can't remember where.

"We're here!!" The elevator door opens, "Apartment 735" I mutter to myself. I walk along the brightly lit corridor. "732....733...734..." I continue counting, "735!!" The girls rush to my side, "Y/N, this is your first time in our apartment, so you'll have the honor of opening the door with your key" Lisa says with a smile. I reach out for my keys, close my eyes and take a deep breath before turning the key to unlock the door. I hear the light switch turn on and I open my eyes. The apartment was beautiful. I walk in to see the kitchen, it has a small island where I could serve meals to my friends. I honestly enjoy cooking to relieve myself from whatever stresses me out, whether it be school, people or something about football. I’ve loved sports for as long as I can remember but it gets frustrating since I could be quite competitive.

I walked into the next room and I saw our living room, there was a large L-shaped sofa sitting in front of a huge television. In between the sofa and TV, I saw a small wooden table that is most probably multipurpose as being both a study desk and a place to put our snacks when we binge on shows during our free days. Beside the sofa I see a balcony that showcases a beautiful scenery of the city. I walk out and feel the cold breeze on my cheeks, I look up to the sky and I see that the sky had a welcoming gift for me as well. The stars greeted me as they shined brightly upon the night sky and I just can't help but admire the night sky. To my right, I see a bean bag that fits 2 people. I plop down to the bean bag and stargaze for a while.

Mom? Dad? I know you can hear me, I promise I'll make you proud, I'll succeed here in Seoul and become a great doctor.

"Y/N?" I snap back to reality and see Jennie’s head appear, "You haven't even seen your room yet! Come onnnnn!!" I stand back up and follow the girls in another small hallway, there I see 3 doors. "So basically, it's not that we don't want you to have your own room but we wanted one room to be our sort of walk-in closet because I mean who has not dreamed of having one?" I open the first door I see and the place is indeed full of clothes. There were 3 closets in the room, each of the closet doors have our first name initials on it to indicate who owns which closet. I laugh at my best friends, we all enjoy watching all those Barbie movies where they have spectacular closets and I guess you can say that this is the closest we can get to our childhood dreams.

I walk out of the room and take a few steps into the hallway. Lisa rushes to get past me and hold the doorknob, "Okay Y/N, this room is a little different. I know it's not really our style whatsoever but we created a study room." I scrunch my eyebrows, "A study room? Really now? For all of us or for me?" Lisa tucks a stray hair into her ear, "Well, more for you than for us since we know how hard you work and how much more you'll be working to get into med school. But it's a double purpose for a practice room for us too!" I take a step back to look at both my best friends and their grinning faces,

What did I do to deserve these two psychos in my life?

I call them in for a group hug, "You guys, I know you want to make me feel like there's nothing missing anymore in my life and I love you guys for that. I hope you all still remember I'm not a robot though and even if I'll be working hard to get into med school, I'll still be around to party and experience what any normal teenager should be experiencing." I hear Jennie sniffling at my right, "Aw Jen" I rub her back soothingly, "We know that Y/N, we just want the best for you too. We'll always be here rooting for you any time." We all take a step back, "Okay!" Lisa says, "Guys, it's our first night in our own apartment and we're already crying." Everybody laughs, "So I guess this last room is our room?" "It sure is." Jennie opens the door and I see three twin beds side by side. Just like our "walk-in closet" our first name initials are hanging above our head, brightly lit to recognize who owns which bed. I see my initial on top of the bed that lies in between both Lisa and Jennie's.

I drop my luggage off at our closet area and plop back down into the bean bag on the balcony. I take a deep breath in and close my eyes.

This is the start of my new life.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Take my hands now, you are the cause of my euphoria"

I woke up to the sound of Euphoria, my favorite song in the whole wide-

"WHEN I’M WITH YOU I'M IN UTOPIA"

And of course, the voices of my two best friends singing their hearts out and getting the lyrics messed up.

"Y/N!!! Come on!! It's your first day of school. Did you forget about our breakfast plan?"

Right. Their so-called "breakfast plan" before school. I stand up from my bed and stretch a little before I start making my bed. I stop by the closet first and pick my outfit for today, I pick out a tied crop top, white sneakers, and jeans. I grab my bathrobe and head to the bathroom. I step into the shower and play some music that would help wake me up and get ready for the day. As I continue to wash my hair, I hear a knock on my door,

"Y/N! Are you done?!!"

I roll my eyes. Jeez, they finally got themselves guy friends and now they're going crazy about finishing on time. I wrap a towel around my head to dry my hair. I head back to our dressing room and open my luggage. As I look for my blow dryer and straightener, Lisa barges into the room,

"Y/N Y/L/N, you seem to be too relaxed this morning. You have 30 minutes left to get ready and if you're not ready by then I'm going to drag you to the car." "Don't worry Jen, I'll be done on time. Now can you please stop bothering me so that I can start dressing up?"

I quickly blow dry my hair and put it up in a messy bun. With the remaining time left, this is the best I can do to tame my natural curls. I look at myself in the mirror and check to see if something is missing. I reach out to get my makeup bag and I put on a little blush and add a little lip tint. I search through my accessory bag and look for my small stud earrings. I get my glasses from the table and look at myself in the mirror once more. I'm ready for my first day of school. I leave the dressing room and meet my best friends in our kitchen.

"Oh my goodness Y/N, let's go! We're already 5 minutes late." I grab the schoolbag I prepared last night before heading to bed and leave the apartment. We head to the basement by elevator since Lisa got her license just recently. "Wait Lisa, if you had your license already by the time you picked me up, why did you guys use a taxi to pick me up?" "Oh, uh..I was too lazy to drive that late at night so I just got us a taxi." She starts the car and we head to the exit.

It was my first time ever seeing Seoul in the morning light, the sun hit the skyscrapers so beautifully that it was as if the city was welcoming me as their new citizen. Numerous cars were already out by the time we hit the road because of the rush hour most of them were experiencing. Our school, Seoul National University was just 10 minutes away, our apartment was located a couple blocks away As I was looking out the window, I saw some sort of diner come into view. It looked huge for my definition of a diner since I always saw diners as small joints made for meals, but this diner was different. As Lisa pulled up in the parking area I could see a little bit of the inside, students like us were dining in there as well and there seemed to be a game room on the other side of the dining area. It's around mid-February so the breeze was still cool, Busan was a little warmer during the winter so I had to find a way to adjust to the cooler weather in the city. As my friends and I make our way to the entrance, I notice three heads that turn our way. As we enter the diner however, the smell of freshly made bread, waffles, and eggs hits me and I feel my mouth water. I've been starving and I couldn't wait to try whatever the diner had been serving.

I see three boys in a booth and I make eye contact with one of them, the weird thing is...I felt butterflies in my tummy. I've seen those eyes somewhere, he feels familiar which is of course impossible because I've never met these people in my entire life.

I've never had any guy friends at all. I've always thought about making my parents proud and everything so I focused on getting good scores on all my tests so that I could get into med school. This is all so new to me...having friends of the opposite species. I mean okay, I've watched rom-coms and movies that revolve around love, seeing your friends being treated the way I see couples act in the movies is something I never thought I would be interacting with boys at this point of my life.

"Y/N? Earth to Y/N!" I snap back to reality as Jennie calls my attention. "This is Jimin, Taehyung and the guy still sitting in the booth is Jungkook." Jungkook? I think I know a Jungkook from back home but it's still pretty hard to remember a lot of things. "Sorry, I'm being rude." Jungkook stood up and walked to me, "Jungkook." He held out a hand for me to shake, "Y/N." I say in reply. As our hands touch, there's a familiar warmth that gives me goosebumps. I quickly try to mask the reddness in my cheeks. We all take a seat in the booth and based on the impression of these boys, they seem like athletes. "Hey Y/N," Jimin says, "You should try their Bacon and Waffles here. They sell out like crazy in the mornings." I take a quick glance on the menu and scan quickly for the meal Jimin was talking about. I raise my hand excitedly to call in the waitress to take our orders, "1 Bacon and Waffles, 2 Pancakes and, 3 orders of the Waffles and Chicken all with Orange Juice on the side." The waitress says, "Thanks." I give her a smile in return.

I glance back at my friends after giving the waitress the menu I was holding, Jungkook and I make direct eye contact, his big brown doe eyes, another flood of goosebumps crawl on my skin as he turns away to talk to Taehyung. Why is it that Jungkook looks at me as if he’s seen me before?

The waitress returns with the orders and I start to take a bite off my first meal of the day.

“So Y/N, how was your first night in the city?” Taehyung asked as he picked a strawberry off one of the pancakes, “I stayed up in the balcony just looking at the city lights, the stars were very bright last night. I couldn’t stay up for so long though, it got really cold.” “Y/N loves gazing at stars, she used to try to make Jen and I see the stars in Busan every time we video called.” Lisa says giggling, Jimin gasps and turns to point at Jungkook while eating his waffle, “Jungkook used to drag us out of our homes just to meet at a park to stargaze!” Jungkook shyly looks away and takes a sip of his juice, “Yah” he finally speaks, “You make me sound like a really weird kid Hyung” I laugh at his statement, “Don’t be too embarrassed Kook, looking at the stars are my favorite past time” He tenses up with the nickname as he looks at me, I realize I just gave this guy a nickname on the first day we met. Shit. “Uh, is it okay that I call you Kook?” He nods in return as a smile crept onto his face.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

41 notes · View notes

hermitcraftheadcanons · 4 years

Text

Hello Internet, welcome to GAME THEORY, where instead of putting a joke here I want to ask you a question. It's time to talk UNDERTALE.

Now I don't think I've ever gotten this many requests to cover a theory, (no requests times no requests is still no requests.) Anyway, across my tumblr dashboard, NO ONE has asked for this. And honestly, I'm disappointed. True loyal theorists will know that Undertale is my favorite game of all time.

Undertale is a game where every character, from goat mom to grind fodder has a sympathetic design and a unique personality, motivations, goals, fears. Whether you're saving or slaughtering them, the game makes you feel something every time you enter an encounter. But to me, one character stood out amongst all the rest. SANS. A skeleton named after the font, Comic Sans. ANYWAYS, Sans is, well, there's a lot of mystery around this guy. And before we get into it, let me put up a very special spoiler warning: UNDERTALE is a game best experienced blind. So if you haven't played it, pause your reading of this and come back after you've finished. I PROMISE YOU, I PROMISE you won't regret it. Alright, so everyone out of the pool and ready for the adult swim? Good. Because I'm feeling pretty determined to get to the bottom of Sans' mystery. So just to recap for those of you who haven't played the game and ignored the SPOILER WARNING, or just need a refresher, Sans is one of the two skeletal brothers who appears in the game. His partner is Papyrus, a loud, goofy trap lover also named after a font. But in the world of Undertale their origins are a big question mark. All you really know is what's given to us by a shopkeeper in Snowdin, who explains that Sans and Papyrus, quote, “just showed up one day and asserted themselves.” Weird, right? What's more is that, well, Papyrus is just kinda the goofy sidekick. Sans is much more complex.

He likes fart jokes, but he's also incredibly powerful and deadly serious. Not only is his boss battle the hardest in the game, he's one of the only characters who has knowledge and power over space and time. He can take shortcuts around the world through ridiculous routes. Even is walking through walls. He also acknowledges that he's only one of infinite versions of himself, making self-aware commentary of the various timelines that you've played through in the game. He can even count the number of times he's killed you. He acts like an arbiter of this world, passing out judgements on the player's actions in the game, even explaining the secrets of EXP and LOVE, or EXECUTION POINTS and LEVELS OF VIOLENCE, just to clarify. In short, he just doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the world of monsters. But then, what, or who, is he? Well, the idea that he doesn't belong in the underworld seems to be correct.

The evidence seems to point to the fact that he WAS, in fact, formerly a surface dweller. In the true pacifist ending of the game, as the group looks out onto the horizon, Papyrus asks Sans about the giant ball in the sky. Sans says, quote, “we call that the sun.” This is important because A, the usage of the word WE, and knowledge of the sun shows that Sans has a kinship or knowledge with other humans, and B, that despite he and Papyrus both being skeletons, or, supposedly, brothers, and apparently appeared in underworld at the same time, they CLEARLY have two very different histories. Why would Papyrus not know the name of the sun but Sans would?

We get further clues to Sans' origins as we hear him say multiple times he wants to "go home" or "go back." He says as much during his dinner date scene at the Mettaton hotel. He notices that the player wants to go home and says, quote, "I know the feeling." He then continues, "maybe sometimes it's better to take what's given to you." As though he ended up in the underworld by accident. AND in a genocide run during his boss fight he says, quote, "look, I gave up trying to go back a long time ago." End quote. And before you say he means going back to the surface world, that's clearly not the full story. His very next line of dialogue is, "and getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore either." Key word here is “EITHER.” Yes, he seems to hail from the surface and wants to go back, but based on his dialogue he no longer considers it his home. It's as though the surface world he once knew is gone, as though he's from a different time. It's pretty intriguing. So we're left with a being that appeared out of nowhere, presumably from being from the human surface, but from a different time period, who seemingly has the power to teleport. That's a lot of questions and not a lot of answers.

But here's where things get REALLY interesting. Sans has a hidden workshop that takes a fair amount of searching to find. You could say it takes a lot of DETERMINATION to unlock. Anyways, obligatory determination references aside, as you start to look for this easter egg Sans gives you a key to his room and says "it's time you learn the truth." After some searching you find the workshop which contains items that leave even more questions. A photo album featuring Sans and a bunch of smiling people you don't recognize, a badge, blueprints with illegible handwriting, and a broken machine hidden behind a curtain. In the latest update, one more detail was added. A hand-drawn picture of 3 smiling faces with the words “don't forget.”

So, what does it all mean? Well a lot of Undertale theorists have been linking these details to a feature to a character named W.D Gaster. A ghostly character who never truly appears in the game. Honestly, covering him is a theory all unto itself, and probably one best saved for another day. Even still, none of the Gaster theories I've seen have been able to explain all the details. In particular, the photo album, and the badge. And that's what kept nagging me as I researched Undertale. A badge? That one in particular really stuck out to me. Why would such an oddly specific item to be hidden in the huge easter egg of a room? Something that supposedly reveals the truth about Sans? Badges just aren't important in Undertale. Then it hit me. What if this badge isn't from Undertale? What if this badge is from a completely different series? And was, in fact, the most important badge in the history of gaming? One of the Iskall patreon badges.

Now, for those of you wondering what I'm talking about, the Iskall Patreon Badges are a pivotal item from Iskall’s patreon. You know, the one on Hermitcraft. Anyway, the Iskall Patreon Badges are a really important part of Iskall’s character. So I asked myself; what if the badge in Sans' drawer was ONE OF THOSE EXACT badges? Well first off, it made Undertale connected to my favorite youtuber, thereby making it even COOLER, but that's still a pretty big logical leap. I needed more. Let me tell you, as I started looking, more and more pieces started to fit into place.

In Hermitcraft Season 6, there are three Architechs. (This was before Stress joined in season 7.) These 3 were Iskall, Grian and MumboJumbo. And what does Sans happen to have in his other drawer? A photo album with pictures of Sans with people you don't recognize. Of course you don't know them, they're not characters present in Undertale. And note the word that's used here, PEOPLE you don't recognize. Not underworld monsters. So that's 2 items oddly linked to the Hermitcraft series.

But then, how do the blueprints and broken machine fit in? Well, in the final stretch of Hermitcraft, Iskall is the only one who hasn’t died since the Demise game, so he sells his own body to the highest bidder. Except, it comes with a cost. Everyone is poor. As a result, and with the help of ImpulseSV, the Architechs (minus Mumbo,) are forced to finally kill Iskall, ending his streak since the beginning of demise. I watched this episode in 2020 and I'm not ashamed to admit that when I first saw this scene, I cried. It's DEVASTATING.

Iskall says goodbye to his friends, his co-workers, this character you've grown to love and care about is suddenly promising to sacrifice his life. For all he knows, there is no possibility of him being able to come back after his Demise. It's this incredibly dark departure in the final moments of what was otherwise a fun, quirky, and colorful Season 6.

So what does all of this have to do with Undertale? A LOT, actually. But the first thing you need to know is that the hermits are known for their, let's say, unique written linguistic style.

That would explain the illegible handwriting on the blueprints. And the machine? I think a broken infinity portal is behind that curtain. Now that may seem like a stretch, but it actually explains a lot.

If Sans wound up in Undertale via whacky infinity portal hyjinx, it could provide a reason for why he's a skeleton. He used the machine as organic matter and suffered the consequences. Not killing him, but turning at least a part of him into a pile of bones. That could also explain why Sans has given up hope for going home. Remember the infinity portal is a time machine. By being in the underworld, he's not only in a different place, but based on how he talks, he's also in a different time, with no hope of travelling back to the time he came from. This could theoretically happen. It turned Scar into a wizard and completely disintegrated Welsknight, so the rules are… Flimsy at best.

But the crossovers between Hermitcraft and Undertale continue. In Grian’s episode, (EDIT IN TIMESTAMP) he mentions he’s amazed that Iskall only escaped his demise with a lost arm. He says Iskall had “a lot of determination to not die for real,” and that he’s going to continue to study this. Seems awfully similar to the same experiments happening in Undertale around the trait of determination, no? Especially since so much has shown that Sans was a key player in those experiments.

But I'm sure you also want physical evidence right? Well don't worry, because I have plenty. Take a look at Iskall and Sans side by side. Iskall’s left eye is replaced with a diamond loupe. Sans’ left eye glows blue when he’s mad. Both have extremely chill yet are known for their jokes and, dare I say, laugh.

In short, we have some incredibly strong proof that the Hermitcraft Cinematic Universe, (HCU) is somehow connected to the Undertale world, which brings us back to our initial question, WHO IS SANS?

Well, what if we took it one final step and said that Sans happened to be Iskall from Hermitcraft? Sent through the Infinity Portal at the end of season 6 to go to Season 7, carrying an Iskall Patreon Badge and his photo album. Not only do all the items in the workshop suddenly fit, but so does Sans’ behavior.

Remember, Sans can seemingly travel extremely quickly. And Iskall just happens to have an elytra, a device that allows people to travel hundreds of metres extremely quickly. This even explains why Sans bleeds when you finally hit him. He is, or at least, WAS, a human.

Oh and finally, Sans shares two out of five letters with the name Iskall. That's just a fun one. I thought it was worth mentioning.

But if there was any doubt, we have to look no further than the creator's previous work. Toby Fox, the man behind Undertale is actually DocM77, the creator of every hermit (besides Scar.) Now, if Toby Fox, the creator of Undertale, is also DocM77, creator of Iskall, we know they will most definitely share a universe. Which brings us back to Undertale. 2 faces, with “don't forget” written on it? It's Iskall, trying to remember his 2 friends. In short, Undertale is a continuation of Toby’s version of Hermitcraft Season 6, with Iskall never being able to get home, adopting the name Sans. The pieces all just seem to fit. Now all we need is an appearance from Ethoslab and we’ve got ourselves a true sequel.

But hey, that's just a theory. A GAME THEORY! THANKS FOR WATCHING!

#hcraft #hermitcraftheadcanons #iskall85 #iskall #TheScience!#posted 11.05.20 #long post #please note this is literally a copy paste of the actual script #with some changes #but yeah actual cred to Matt on this one

60 notes · View notes

orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

What Did You Do?

Platonic Wilford Warfstache x gender neutral!reader

@insertadumbnamehere ty for the request!

A/N: ok, so, this one takes place before, during, and almost immediately after WKM. I figured that "The Warfstache Affair" would take place pretty soon after it, so yeah. Wilford is referred to as William and The Colonel. You two are besties. Rated... T for cursing. Uh,,, I finished this during study hall instead of studying so... Appreciate my work. Inform me on any mistakes please.

Asks and submissions are open!

Word Count: 2.2k

You sat in the living room of your house, waiting for your friend to show up. William had a knack for being late to everything, you knew this and have accepted it by now. You were browsing through movies, wondering what you guys should watch. Nothing about Safari's or about a war. You might trigger something. He'd been through too much.

You heard your door unlock and creak open. You'd given him a key at this point in your friendship. You looked up at the Colonel and smiled. He wasn't looking at you.

"Hey, Will," you greeted. He nodded to you, a small smile on his face. It seemed forced.

"Evening," he responded. You tilted your head slightly.

"I uh… was looking for a movie. Anything in mind?"

"No… not particularly…"

"Ok. Well I found some feel-good movies, or we have some horror if you'd--"

"I got a letter," he interrupted. You raised an eyebrow at him. He cleared his throat. "It's… it's from Mark…" you scrambled to your feet, walking over to him. He was holding a letter with "William J. Barnum" written on it. You knew about his… falling out with the actor. It was pretty bad, from what you heard. Over a girl as well. You thought that to be a bit immature, but you didn't need to tell him that.

"What does it say?" You asked.

"I don't know. I haven't looked yet."

"Why not?"

"I wanted to wait until I was over here," you squinted at him in confusion. "In case… I read something I don't like…"

"Well… open it!" You urged. He tore the top open and took out a piece of paper. He read it to himself. You didn't need him to read it out loud to you, as you looked over his boulder to read.

"I've… been invited to Markiplier Manor for… a party…" he explained. You stepped away from his shoulder and stood in front of him.

"Well?" You asked.

"Well what?"

"Are you going?"

"No! Why would I?" He asked. You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Because… he's your friend--"

"Was my friend, Y/N. Was my friend…" he spoke quietly. You rolled your eyes.

"Ah, yes. It must've slipped my mind that you two behaved like 3rd graders…"

"Hey!"

"... And haven't talked to each other in years because of a girl." The Colonel stepped towards you.

"Celine is not just a girl…" he said in a warning tone.

"Yes, yes, I know. She's a woman. And you don't talk to your best friend because of her!"

"He's not my best friend, you are!" Your face heats up a bit. "And anyways, I didn't stop talking to him because of that, I stopped talking to him because he was a selfish prick!"

"And you didn't even try to talk it out? That seems a bit immature, Will…"

"Oh, please. Like you're mature…" you frowned at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You aren't exactly the most fair person yourself."

"Oh, really?" You raised your voice. "Care to elaborate, William?"

"Why, yes," he growled. "You're needy, you're selfish, you complain so much when you don't get everything you want--"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sometimes I don't want to hang out with you, Y/N!" He yelled. "Sometimes I just want to hang out in my own home by myself, but you just want me to hang out with you at every chance you get. And I do not want that!"

"Why not?!" You yelled, your voice cracking. You didn't have many friends, William was one of the few you had. Of course you wanted to hang out with him. You didn't have to be doing anything just… being near each other was fine for you. You could admit, you were a bit clingy.

"Sometimes you remind me of him," he sighed. You didn't think it was a compliment.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked. At this point, William had already lost his temper, and was now just spitting whatever popped into his mind.

"It means the only difference between you and him is that he has enough money to pay people to stick around! All your friends just feel sorry for you!" He snapped and realized his mistake all too late. You stared at him with a hurt look, feeling the tears glazing your eyes. You had trusted him with one of your insecurities. You had let him in. And now he was using that against you.

"Y/N…" you spun away from him. "Y/N I didn't mean…" he reached out to touch your shoulder, but you jerked away. He pulled back. You were letting the tears spill and quietly crying. Soft enough that he could tell you were trying to hide it, but loud enough that he heard you anyways. He put his arm back at his side.

"I'd like you to leave," you said, your voice wavering. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Y/N-"

"Leave, Will!" You demanded. He sighed.

"I'll… go to the party… we'll talk later, okay?" He said. You didn't respond. He sighed and left your house, leaving you to cry on your own.

It had been about a week since you'd seen or heard from the Colonel, and you were ready to talk. You thought he was just giving you space since he knew how upset you were. You texted him, "hi, Will. I wanted to apologize and say that I'm ready to talk whenever you are." And left it at that. You didn't think much about the fact that he didn't respond, until the next day.

Two policemen had shown up at your door.

"Can I help you?" You asked, slightly nervous.

"Do you know a William J. Barnum?" They asked. Your heart stopped.

"Um… yes…"

"We'd like to ask you a couple questions about him." You opened the door for them to come inside. You invited them to sit down on your couch, and made some coffee since it was early.

"So…" you began, nervously. "What's up with Will?"

"He went missing," The cop on the left said.

"Oh…"

"After he presumably killed 5 people." You froze. William? Kill people? No… no, he couldn't… he wouldn't…

"Excuse me?" The cop on the right called your attention. You snapped up to him.

"Huh?"

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Oh… um… a couple days ago… he told me he was going to Markiplier Manor for a party… we had a fight… I haven't heard from him since then…"

"I'm sorry." The left cop apologized. You nodded at him. "Do you have any idea of where he could be?"

"Uh… no. No, I don't think so…"

"Do you have any idea of what could've cause him to do this?"

"Well… he has some anger issues… and, uh, he doesn't really like Mark… they had a… falling out a while ago… over a girl…"

"A girl?"

"Yes. Celine…"

"Celine? Sister of the mayor Celine?"

"Yes?"

"She's one of the people who've gone missing since the party. Along with Mayor Damien, and a District Attorney." You widened your eyes.

"W-What about the other two?"

"Hm?"

"You said he presumably killed five people? What about the other two?"

"Oh, uh… Mark's Butler told us that Markiplier was dead, but his body had gone missing. And uh, we found the body of a detective in the Manor. He was shot in the chest with a 357 Magnum." You frown. "Any recollection of that?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah… he takes his Magnum everywhere…"

"Mm…"

"But… I never thought he'd…" you felt the tears burning your eyes as they threatened to fall. The left cop sets a gentle hand on your arm.

"I'm sorry about this. I know it's hard, especially if we don't even know for sure. But we need you to work with us," he consoled. They also you a couple more questions before standing up to leave.

"Here's the police station's number. Call if you get anything from him, okay?" The right cop said. You nodded, wipond your eyes with the back of your hand. They thanked you for the coffee and left. You sat on your couch, sighing. William…

"Damnit, William, what'd you get yourself into?" You mumbled and got out your phone.

William sat in the empty room, music playing on a boombox in the corner. He was thinking, and the beats of 80s songs were apparently helping with that.

Why were the police after him? He didn't do anything. He didn't kill anybody. He knew he didn't. I mean… the District Attorney was living proof of that. Abe was… fine. Right? Of course he was… if they were alive, why wouldn't he be? He started to laugh a bit. This was so… ridiculous! It was mad! He loved it!

There may have been something wrong with his head. Watching the person you killed come back after seven hours can do that to a person…

But he wasn't crazy. He wasn't. He knew that for a fact.

bzzt

He turned his head to the phone he sat on the boombox and raised his eyebrows.

bzzt

"Now, who could that be?" He said to no one in particular. He leaped to his feet and waltzed over.

bzzt

He looked at the phone, checking to see who it was. The contact name was "N/N". You had changed it to your nickname a while ago, saying that if he had a nickname, you should have one too. He smiled widely as he saw it.

bzzt

He picked up the phone.

"N/N! Hello, how are you? It's been a while, huh?" He said, his voice all over the place.

"William, what did you do?" You asked bluntly.

"Well, I missed you too…"

"William. What did you do?"

"Not much. I had some cake the other day and-"

"William..." You growled. He furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what you were so upset about. Then, he laughed.

"Ah, so the police got to you. I didn't do anything." He claimed.

"Don't lie to me, Will," you warned.

"I'm not! I would never!"

"Then why do the police think you killed five people?!"

"Five people? No!" He paused. "...maybe two or three…"

"What?"

"It's fine, they came back! Well… one of them did…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" He grunted in frustration.

"I shot them in the chest. I sat right there next to the body for several hours. Then they just got back up. Right there in front of me."

"... okay… William-"

"I was thinking of changing my name, actually! What do you think about "Wilford Warfstache"?"

"I think we shouldn't talk for a while." You said quickly. William's smile dropped and he froze.

"What?" He asked softly.

"I think, until things calm down, you should lay low for a while and… we shouldn't talk."

"But… but I like talking-"

"I know, Will. I like talking to you too. But this is serious. You're in trouble for some really bad things. You should try not to make it worse, okay? Keep quiet and don't cause trouble." You commanded. "It'll be safer for the both of us if we don't stay in contact. You know my address, you have a key, I don't plan on moving anytime soon. If you really need to come here you can."

"Y/N…"

"I'm gonna miss you, Will." Your voice cracked as you spoke. William felt tears pricking at his own eyes.

"I'll… miss you too…"

"Goodbye…"

"Wait!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry… about before…"

"I know… I am too…"

"... I love you…" you chuckled from the other end of the line.

"I… love you too…" Then you hung up. William stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. You were his best friend. What was he supposed to do now? Who was he supposed to have a movie night with? Who was he supposed to talk to?

He looked over to his previous spot on the floor, where he's left his gun. What was one way he could let you know he was doing good without contacting you?

He smiled and started giggling.

"Time to cause some chaos!"

It had been three weeks since your call with William. The police contacted you occasionally, asking if you heard anything. You always said no. You knew William, and he wouldn't do anything like that on purpose. So, you didn't tell the police anything.

You worried about William. He didn't seem like himself on the call. He seemed… loose. More… careless. That was worrying.

You sighed as you opened your front door, having just bought groceries. You sat the bags in your kitchen and turned on the TV to have some background noise as you cooked. You flipped through the channels until something on the news caught your eye. You went back to it

"--a gruesome series of murders committed by a man who calls himself "Wilford Warfstache". The police think this man may be the fugitive William J. Barnum, who is allegedly killed the actor Mark Fischbach, the mayor of the town, the mayor's sister, a detective on the case, and a district attorney." the newswoman explained. You gaped at the TV. "He is responsible for killing a woman, her husband, their neighbor, their dog, and possibly, their baby. If you see this man, call the number on screen right away." They showed a picture of William with his mustache dyed pink. You buried your face in your hands and swore.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me…"

124 notes · View notes

flannelshirtandjeans · 5 years

Text

Oc interview meme

I was tagged by @radbeetle (thank you!!) and took this as an opportunity to talk through ghoul Norma in the future, interviewed by some future reporter for some paper or newsletter that's happening then. I'm stuck on mobile so super apologies for long and no cut! D:

I tag: (if you wanna do it) @johnandrasjaqobis @ceilingcow @keycchan

"We are sitting down today with one of the most pivotal figures of our Commonwealth's recent history, the mysterious but beloved by many, Norma Hawke, on the little porch of her home on Spectacle Island. She is serving a drink she claims to have coined, tarberry and mutfruit and just enough alcohol to have a punch."

How old are you?

Norma looks almost startled at the question. "You know," she tells me, "I have lost count. I was 32 when I came to... this Commonwealth, and had been frozen for more than 200 years. That was in... what year is it? Oh, and I turned into a ghoul before 40. That was decades and decades ago."

What do you look like? (For any readers who haven't seen you, or pictures.)

She laughs. "OLD, the way that us ghouls do. But I like to think I still got it!" She laughs again, and continues: "I'm a ghoul, unlike some stories say, and I don't have fins and gills like a fish. I'm just an old, short, round ghoul with some of my old hair left, still brown. Lipstick on every day, eyebrows drawn. I like it, it's routine."

Where are you from?

"The past. I'm a time traveler from a Vault - no, I'm originally from a different state (IDA HAS FORGOTTEN WHICH ONE), where I lived with my parents until I moved to Boston - here - to study law. Used to live in an apartment downtown, and then up in Sanctuary Hills with my husband and baby. Our old house is still there, I think. I... haven't been in a while."

Where do you live now?

She perks up, and a moment of quiet old sadness has passed without me realizing it was there initially. "Here on this island - I moved here when my wife here died and I started working more with the Minutemen to help build a government and a better Boston." She gets up and walks me around - shows me the single room cottage with its rag rugs and quilts, the garden swing, her little garden, and the fields, and her pride and joy, the apple tree. "I always wanted to be more of a country girl when I was younger" Norma says and pats the tree trunk. "I was such a city girl in truth, even when I thought I was getting there with my husband before the war, but I think I've gotten my wish now!"

What was your childhood like?

She snorts. "Rich in money but not in anything else. My parents... had me more because it was the thing to do and some kind of a status symbol, and not because they really wanted a child and to be a good caring family. Work came first. I grew up with a long list of tutors, and little love. Thankfully it mostly only made me want to be better than them."

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

"I have worked a lot with the New Government of the Commonwealth, and the Minutemen that started building towards it. Not as much as I did, because I'm old and tired, and it's time to let them fly on their own instead of mother henning left and right there." She laughs. "I am still the highest lawmaster I suppose, but the law is working as well as it can without me too. Back in my day, when factions were more... at war with each other, I did work with the Minutemen and the Railroad, who joined forces to destroy the Institute."

Tell me about your best friend.

"There aren't a lot of people left who've been here as long as I have," Norma says, and that same quiet sadness creeps to her as before, but her smile remains. "Many have moved on, or died. But I am thankful for those who are still here. Sturges, who keeps the Castle running, and me too. He's like sunshine. We've seen each other less often of late, but try to meet at least every year on an important anniversary. To remember."

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

She shakes her head. "No. I did, but they're gone. Husband, child, and wife. The child by my own hand." This child, as we know from history, was the Institute's leader, "Father". "His name was Shaun," Norma says. "I always found that whole title creepy."

What about a partner or partners?

"Gone as well - I don't have anyone now, and my heart is probably too frail to fall in love again, truthfully. Jay was my first husband, a big red-headed shepherd from Maine, the sweetest man I ever met. And then there was Ellie (editor's note: Ellie Perkins, author of such crime thrillers as "The Ghost of Goodneighbor") after the war, the wittiest most amazing woman-- and I buried them both. I've had... flings. Friends with benefits. But I don't think I can bury more partners." Who these friends with benefits are, she won't say.

Who are your enemies, and why?

"There are people who don't like the new government, and understandably blame me for it, me being the only one left was such s big part of establishing it. I don't think I have any real enemies though. Any that I had would be... also mostly dead."

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

"I steered mostly clear of them when I first came here. I have never been a big fan of such... military structures, and even less after seeing how much my husband hated his time with the army at the time. After joining forces with the Railroad, and knowing the Brotherhood's dislike of synths, the safest course was to avoid them, and try to keep them away. There were other tensions as well, with them and the Minutemen too. The Brotherhood's blimp was blown from the sky with their leaders at time shortly after the Institute explosion, and there's a lot of stories going around saying that was me too, but I didn't have anything to do with it, I was in too much shock from the Intitute alone to even think of something like that. But their leadership changed after that and now what's remained of the Brotherhood here needs to co-operate with the New Government, and has. I still don't like them much, but they're not causing too many problems, and have been... forced to readjust their thinking a little."

When asked about who she thinks was responsible for the blimp explosion, she only says "I have a pretty good idea", and refuses to elaborate.

What about The Enclave?

"I have heard of them, but don't know much about them, truth be told."

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

She shrugs. "Depends on the person, same as anyone else! I used to be afraid of them when all I'd seen was the groups that'd go around raiding and eating people, running around with mininukes - and feel sorry for them after learning about the FEV. But so much has happened since, and a lot of humans I saw at the time weren't really any different. Just smaller. Things are better now, at least some."

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

Norma laughs. "Oh! I've been in so many fights! Hmm." She stops to think, looking across the water to where the blue Minuteman flag flies above the Castle. She laughs again and says: "never thought as a girl that I'd end up with so many war stories. But here's one: once in one of the old hospitals, there was a band of raiders that had trapped a deathclaw on the bottom floor and used it to stage cage fights. I'd... cleared the raiders - they had... taken over a Railroad base and killed the agents there, and I wasn't looking to avenge them as much as see qhat had happened, and had no intent to deal with the deathclaw... But my dog slipped into the pit, thankfully without alerting the deathclaw immediately, so off course I had to go after him. Ended up on top of some cages down there, knocked off BETWEEN them where the deathclaw couldn't reach me and wandered off deeped into the bottom floor... I was pretty sure I would die right there but me and my companion managed to JUST kill it before it got to any of us."

(I guess that answers the next question:) Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

"I have! More if them than I care to count, truth be told - I've had to travel through the Glowing Sea more than once, and once fought a park full of mutation of them that had some alligator in them! I think... a deathclaw was one of the first things I fought after I woke up here, outside of bugs. Just in Concord, right outside Sanctuary Hills."

Do you like fighting?

"I don't. I may gladly tell stories of victories past because they make good stories and because some of those need to be remembered, and learned from so they don't happen again - but I don't want to sound like I enjoyed it, or wouldn't rather have solved the situation without a fight."

What’s your weapon of choice?

She grimaces. "Pistols. Sniper rifles. I'm not strong or dexterous beyond being able to sneak well, so I need the advantage of the distance. I used to hate the sniper rifles because I felt like I wasn't giving whoever I was aiming at a fair fighting chance, it felt... so impersonal. I don't know, I alway hate killing people anyway, it just came with some additional guilt."

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

Norma shakes her head. "Not brute strength for sure. I'm a lawyer still, even under all the things I've become since, and my first and foremost resort is always wits and charm, I think. It doesn't always work, obviously but I think... it has worked best for me so far."

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

Norma shifts uncomfortably, and dips inside for a minute, coming back with an old frayed and battleworn vault suit with golden number 111 on the back. "That's why I'm here," she says, and for the first time sounds almost dark. "The vault 111 was supposed to be my new home when the bombs fell, but they froze us instead, and I've learned of many other horrifying experiments happening in other vaults as well. It's VILE. I still can't go into a vault without seeing my husband being shot in the head, and my baby being stolen. I hate it. I don't go into them anymore if I can help it. I'm glad that communities can flourish in them now, I know Sanctuary has built their winter home in 111, but there's too much trauma in them for me."

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

Norma gestures at herself. "Obviously, I think -- turning into a ghoul was... awful, and painful, and disgusting, but I'm lucky to have had wonderful loving people around me at the time. I don't think I would be as happy in myself as I am now if it hadn't been for them. But even before I became a ghoul, radiation... did strange things to me, or I think it was the radiation? I didn't get skin reactions from swimming like everyone else, and eventually I started growing skin between my fingers, like webs?" She shows me her hands and spreads the toes on her bare feet to show me, and indeed she has some webbing there. "They took some damage from the ghoulification And then I found that I could breathe underwater. Some kind of a mutation, I think. The rads may have done their damage invisibly all that time though, all the swimming, the ghoulification came on so suddenly and without an apparent event that triggered it."

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

"I am always a fan of cats - does that count? I am so relieved that they are still around. I got my first cat here from Ellie when I'd just turned into a ghoul, and I haven't been without since. If it DOESN'T count, I really like radstags, they're beautiful in their own way."

What's your least favorite wasteland critter?

"Bloodbugs. Bugs in general."

How do you feel about robots?

"Depends on the robot again! Some of them are really stuck in their old programming and are hard to interact with because of that, but others are great! Codsworth - bless his metal heart - tended to my roses for centuries while I was gone! He's like family to me."

How many caps do you have on you right now?

"I couldn't say, truth be told. I have some savings, but not as much as some people say I do. I get a comfortable living, but I would without caps, too. The Castle likes to send stuff over, they keep good care of their grandma ghoul."

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

Norma shrugs. "Usually don't drink them! Nuka Cola is noce for marinades."

Do you do chems?

"As a habit, no. Sometimes for aches, and sometimes if I need a stim. But I've never really been much to use them beyond just that."

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

Norma nods, and is quiet for a moment. "I don't... think that a day goes by without me thinking of that time. There's just... sovmany convenience items that I end up missing, or animals, or people. I don't tend to dwell, not anymore, it's past and won't change what is now, and I'll only hurt if I think about it too much. These days it's easier though, mostly nostalgia. I have found a good life here."

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

"I--" Norma falters and for the first time she looks truly fragile. "I wish... I regret that I couldn't be a mother to my son. That was entirely out of my hands, but I do regret it." She wipes away a tear and tries a laugh. "There are so many things I wish I'd done differently with him here, and keep wondering if I could have reached him somehow... If this could have gone differently. I don't know. I try to not wallow to much on what could have been done differently. It's too late to change that now."

What’s your biggest achievement?

Or what do you hope to achieve?

She wipes away her tears. "Ahh, this is easier. I'm... The Commonwealth now? I'm proud that I've been a part of building it towards a much safer and more prosperous place to live. But most of ask, I think? I'm proud of the library. That's something that me an Ellie built together, it was... like a proof of concept for everything bigger, I suppose. And it's still a lovely, lively place now, growing every day."

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

"I want the Commonwealth to keep building. I want safety, and comfort, and sustainability. I want more connections elsewhere. And I want to know it can do that without me - I don't plan to go just yet, but I'm old and tired, and I will not be here forever. I want to be just some grandma, and let the world sort itself out. I've earned my rest, I think. And you know, I think it will happen, too. I think it will."

#fallout 4 #norma #long post #post-game

21 notes · View notes

kaihoku · 2 years

Text

V2 TALENT – May, 2000

Note: *currently busy being pleasantly surprised by how decent an album ND actually is (my first TK album and the first Japanese music CD I've purchased in a long while) but managed to find some time for this*

"When you're able to convey things to others simply with whatever talent you've got within...it's got to be the greatest thing ever."

~*~

Shingo's talent in illustration is nothing short of amazing. Imagine seeing something once, filtering it through your own senses, and then being able to simply recreate by hand what you’ve processed. If it were me...say if there’s a woman right in front of me, I’d be able to just plainly reproduce what I see in sketch form. But if asked to dig deeper and reproduce whatever essence I may see in her, I’d stare dumbly and likely end up submitting subpar work.

The basis of artistic expression lies in an individual’s innate sense of intuition, I think. I count myself as fortunate to be afforded countless opportunities to work with people who have it, from stylists to artists. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been wowed by their sense of color coordination. Their innate sense is often in full display based on their individual instinctive choices. As someone who wasn’t born gifted with it, when I see it--which is often--it never ceases to amaze me.

Architects, scriptwriters, songwriters, it‘s hard not to both admire and envy these people who are able to create something out of nothing, regardless of whether or not I enjoy their work. What I do is totally different. By the time I come in, there’s already a script written and music scored. I’m not particularly savvy when it comes to baseball and its terminology but if I were to liken the two, it’s like being in the position of the 3rd or 4th batter, where everything’s already set up for them to score. It’s totally different from being the top batter. Don’t get me wrong, making changes to something that already exists, whether it be tweaking it, omitting certain things from it, or adding things to it, is something I like doing a lot, so in my own way, I do absolutely enjoy being assigned the batting position I usually am.

If a person is able to enjoy what they do, it usually means they’re good at it, or so it’s often said. So I think what I’m doing is something I'm cut out to do. But if asked whether or not I’d be able to do what I do on my own, I know very well that the answer is no.

If I have to name a talent I can call my own, I’d say it’s probably my ability to reproduce actions that I’ve seen others do like a sort of recording. For example, before going to surf, I’d first study pro surfer videos. Then when I go into the water, I’d recount what I saw, like, “I think this was how he got on a wave,” or “I think I remember seeing him lean like this,” and reproduce what I recall. When I had to attempt to do high jump for a show, something that I had zero experience in, I went looking for specialists to show me what they do right before my very eyes. I usually have very little issue with copying what I saw, although that doesn’t mean I’m able to replicate the results of the actual athlete.

Fortunately, every one of the SMAP members is also able to do this. If there is choreography for a new song, everyone would be able to commit it to memory if given about an hour and a half. But each member also has his own field of specialty so the skill an individual member uses to reproduce what they have learned may differ. The angle from which an individual chooses to focus on when learning is down to the individual’s own intuition. Committing what I see to memory and replicating what’s stored in my head is what I find works for me most of the time. I guess you could say it’s how I’ve been able to survive thus far. Even when I’m memorizing lines from a script, as long as I have the flow of a story visualized within my head when I’m reading the script, the lines will just easily fall into place within as well. There are also times where I simply memorize the page itself and recall that way, like, “The phrase in the third line is "special." If this skill had been more useful back when I was a student, I’d had have an easier time of it during exams.

There's also the kind of talent which one cultivates the more experience they gain. Like, if what a person is lacking in talent for can somehow be replaced with will and physical power, they'd choose not to give in to compromise and instead use their grit to get there. Even so, despite having given their all to get to a certain level, there are times where it just isn’t enough.

Still, it’s hard to not admire the ability to create things from scratch. I may not have it now, but somehow, some way, I'm working towards getting there. By putting all my effort into doing the things I can, I'm quietly hoping that it would all accumulate and grow into something that would enable me to create things on my own, even if only a little. I want to be able to someday create something simply based on something that comes from within myself. I don’t know yet whether it will be in the form of film or music or something else altogether, though.

-harumi-

#takuya kimura #kaihoku #aka takuya's stream of consciousness

0 notes